#bones replies

[stealingyourbones]

Okay hear me out

What if banana bread… but we put cheese in it?

I have mushed bananas in the freezer ready to be used for bandanna bread. Im listening.

[bonebrokebuddy]

Can you please do 13 if no one else has already :D

OH HOHO THIS IS A GOOD ONE

13) “You mean, you Don’t actually look human?!”

————

Kryptonians canonically have telepathic abilities or at the very least psionic abilities. We’ve talked about the ridiculousness of the silver age catch-all of Super-Hypnosis that Clark would use to make people forget his identity.

It’s one of the explanations DC made to explain why only a simple pair of eyeglasses made such a perfect disguise for Clark Kent the mild-mannered reporter, so no one would suspect he was Superman. Because in Superman # 330, Superman apparently unconsciously hypnotizes everyone who looks at him to making them believe that his face is different than Clark Kent’s.

This has absofuckinglutley been retconned out of existence since but consider, this helps with a fun concept and I also do not care because at one point it was cannon so that means I’m right.

Consider: It’s not just used for disguising reasons.

If it can influence how people perceive kryptonians look, maybe it could also influence people into thinking they looked more human than they actually did.

Now, one thing that’s repeated again and again in Kryptonian society is that they are upheld to the high standard of being at the “peak of physical and mental perfection.”

So, what if this mentality of needing to look at the expectation of physical perfection also transferred unconsciously?

And Because Clark does this unconsciously, that would mean that he looks just a little different to every single person who ever looked at him. So, everyone would see Superman as more of their standards of what they think “physical perfection” means. Now, this would:

Result in literally every person thinking that Superman is ridiculously attractive (this includes ace folks. I’m ace. Doesn’t mean I can’t look at someone and go “they’re hot.” because again, personal idea of physical perfection.)

Would be a great intro into a fun side plot of Jimmy being the definitive Superman photographer because not only did he get the first clear photo of Superman, the telekinetic perception doesn’t fully transfer digitally. In a true “eye of the beholder” fashion, whoever takes the image sets the image how they perceive it. So as Jimmy is the one who showed the world their first image of Superman, Jimmy’s perception of Superman would eventually become The Definitive View Of Superman as it’s just what people would expect Kal-El to look like & so his Superman form would eventually settle into the same form he took in Jimmy’s first few photos.

But that’s just when he’s in his Superman persona. When he’s Clark Kent, he is his own perception of what an “average human” looks like. His frame is still very tall & wide (I mean, there’s no getting around that. have you seen how they draw the guy? His shoulders are a mile long) but it’s filled out in a way that looks very natural for a farm boy from Kansas. Like one of those guys who don’t work out but regardless are fairly muscular & look like they can lift a cow. It so depending on the circumstance Clark looks like a gentle giant who everyone in the office asks to help them lift heavy objects or very intimidating when interrogating a corrupt CEO during an interview, using his height and large frame to tower over them in a looming manner.

In both forms he keeps the eye color, hair color, and rough build because otherwise it would look like he was clipping through objects to onlookers.

As this is an unconscious process, even Clark doesn’t know he’s doing it. He kinda knows in the back of his head but it’s just not something he’s ever registered with conscious thought.

With that in mind:

- The Justice League gets captured by a big bad.

- In addition to other security measures to prevent them from escaping, there is a machine that, while in range of it, it creates a mental block for telepaths and psionic abilities on influencing others. It is intended so J’onn cannot find the hidden location of the Justice League to free them.

- But that’s not the only effect it had.

- Suddenly Bruce is able to see what Clark Actually looks like

- But not just Bruce, Everyone in the Justice League that was trapped (take your pick of who) is now able to see the unnaturally saturated blue eyes in their real hue for the first time

- They are so bright that a camera nor any human technology or earthly pigment would ever be able to reproduce or fully capture the piercing shade of blue that stared straight through their being.

- And his too many perfectly straight and white teeth

- His eyes that now look too large to naturally sit on a human-reminiscent face

- Clark’s brow furrowed when he noticed everyone staring at him. the hinge of his jaw opened wider than what a human’s limitations would allow when he went to ask what was wrong

- the base of his voice is still just a touch too loud

-but underneath his voice is an unearthly booming quality with base just out of human perception but it still sent shivers down their spines as it resonated with the frequency of the room

- The tendons shifting under his skin bulge and twist in ways that seem like they shouldn’t fit under his skin and the placement of muscle groups visible under his suit looked like someone tried to reassemble a human from memory

- His features are just suddenly. Off. Distinctly something other.

The mental mask falls away and the Justice League is able to see the slight wrongness about clark.

It's not the fact that he's a alien that makes their necks prickle, it's the age old instinct of something that looks enough like a human but you just know it's not.

And the ensuing chaos Would Be Fucking Amazing

Because, again, Clark Himself Doesn't Know He’s Doing It.

Addon that I was going to branch off of but decided to leave out of the final cut:

I feel like Bruce would honestly be relieved. It would answer a ton of his questions. Especially seen in Anatomy of a Metahuman, Bruce expresses extreme bafflement over How The Fuck Clark is so human-like despite being an alien. The fact that this would confirm his existing theory littered in small notes on the sides of his drawings in that book that Clark uses some kind of psionics for his powers, would be a huge relief because he finally has answers to how Clark works. Now he can apply proper adjustments to his contingency plans to account for this new discovery.

I just really enjoy the idea that Clark only looks human at first glance but when you take a moment to look at him closely, you can tell that something’s distinctly off about the guy. 

[stealingyourbones]

So, I have a new headcanon where, after tailing Phantom for a while, Danny's parents have learned enough to realize that they were wrong. They still chase him though, but instead of chasing him to capture him and tear him apart, it's more a game at this point.

Like Phantom will get away and Jack would hop out of the RV and playfully shake his fist going, "Ah, you got us again, Ghost Boy!"

But other heroes confuse Phantom and the Fenton parents having fun for a Feb ton parents hunting him down for malicious reasons.

The Fenton's turn their blasters down so far that they only feel like a soft punch. Their tech looks the exact same as before but now it's akin to a lazer tag gun and not a bazooka.

[stealingyourbones]

Danny joins Young Justice, not as a hero but a live-in mechanic/engineer/inventor/ man in the chair

Danny was recently saved from the anti ecto acts and now cut off from the Fenton's needs a place to stay (the JL set him free) so the JL offered him the YJ base since they're gathering young heroes anyway

Danny doesn't want to be a hero anyway so he only shows up in times of emergency, otherwise he just makes the team cool gadgets or improve the digital training area (Spoiler: Danny has no sense of normal so his hard mode is someone's nightmare/apocalyptic mode)

oh i love Not A Hero AU's. Danny is the Q of Young Justice, he always has the fun unique and absolutely batshit insane gadgets and always has a new thing to excitedly show the team that he managed to make in a monster energy fueled invention brainstorming night.

[stealingyourbones]

Danny is cold.

The numbness at his fingertips, nipping and just off from painful, had spread down to his forearms. Frostbite is inevitable—a sickly purplish blue that reached across each knuckle like night fading into day, unfeeling as they brush against blades of wet grass. Each digit trembles and shakes as if feeling tremors of an earthquake days in advance.

Each puff of air crystallizes the moment they leave his mouth before quickly melting away again, little clouds that, back when Danny could be a kid again, smiling ever-so brightly, he would have been amused by. Giddy even.

But now? Now it just solidifies the fact that he’s sick. Deathly ill from something outside any of their control.

Nothing is working thus far. The ghosts have noticed long since it first began, and are working alongside humans to bring back their resident nuisance in sake of continuing this little back-and-forth they’ve perfected throughout the years. Mom and Dad are suspicious, of course, but are willing to try anything.

Today, Danny sits in bed, shivering from head to toe underneath at least three layers of blanket.

Frostbite (the yeti) knocked before entering, holding a small bowl in hand. He appears older than he has ever looked, from stress no doubt, yet there is hope within those eyes.

“Little lord,” he began, and if Danny could groan he would. Every since the defeat of the late ghost king, he’s been called that by every yeti that’s crossed paths with him. “We have a new medicine for you to try. Can you sit up?”

Danny whimpered a little at the mere prospect of moving but goes to anyway. He slowly arose from his laid down position, rocking a little.

Frostbite brought the bowl to his lips and ever-so delicately tipped it, having what his prying gaze caught as bright green dust slide down his throat. And only pulled away when half of it was eaten.

“How do you feel?”

“I feel…” Danny had to take a moment to process the slowly regaining feeling of his arms. “Warm.”

Amazed, he turned toward the yeti. “What was that?”

Frostbite—who was beaming with relief—chuckled, far too emotion for any cryptic messaging within his next words. “Kryptonite. We’ve just now found it on Earth, from some place called Metropolis. It’s incredibly rare in the Ghost Zone, so finding it here is nothing short from a miracle.”

The Justice League doesn't know why there's a sudden influx of extra dimensional entities attacking various Superman villains and stealing their stashes of kryptonite, but there's no way this situation is going to end pleasantly. Frostbite instructed all of Phantom's rogues gallery to track down and collect kryptonite.

[stealingyourbones]

Can we talk about how Danny probably doesn't need to use powers to get noticed by the Batfam for being a possible meta?

If being part ghost does affect his human side, boy has some side effects.

The pointy teeth don't matter much when Tim has watched him swallow a fork whole and decided that if eating the rich wasn't actually possible then at least the dinnerware was tasty enough to before chowing down on the fruit punch ladle.

Sharp nails are overlooked when Steph notices him rotate his wrists completely around, not in just one motion, but several times, going in different directions.

Glowing eyes, this is Gotham, the weird ass double eyelid he has for flying usage gets more noticed as he blinks with those instead and since they are clear, it takes Duke awhile to realize that Danny is indeed blinking instead of just staring with wide ass open eyes for minutes on end.

Just his obvious traits getting overlooked by other traits and each one experienced by a different bat kid that is either, not telling anyone because, sssh, secret time...or because they think no one will believe them.

YES THANK YOU!!! Danny is already strange enough to out himself as a meta. No powers needed. He's just an idiot who doesn't hide it remotely.

[stealingyourbones]

I saw a thing talking about how the Fentons are so unhinged bc they were the first mad scientists, marry other crazy people, raise their kids to believe that they're the normal ones or something, and the cycle repeats. Fentons are genetically wired for mad science and/or supernatural bullshit.

I also read a fic that mentions that Amity's town history museum was called the Fenton Family History Museum because they're synonymous, those people were there in the beginning and will be there til there is no Amity.

Just, imagine an Amity Parker in Gotham complaining about Gothamites being a bunch of wusses because "that's barely even mad science, where's the homemade tank? The cheeto bombs? The risk of complerly legal vivisection? The portal to the afterlife in that one kid's basement?"

Bc you see, Amity Parkers have been predispositioned to believe Fenton Mad Science TM is the standard. For centuries.

Now isnt that something to look int- wait what do you mean legal vivisection?

A passing remark to the Joker bombs looking pitiful compared to ones back home causes Gothamites nearby to do a double take at the figure walking with their pal.

A colleague talks to another colleague how cars are far less tank like here and how traffic is so calm in Gotham rush hour that it's a breath of fresh air.

A roommate complains that the smog doesn't feel as bad to breathe in as their hometown and they almost miss the poor air quality.

[stealingyourbones]

Some occult group thinks the Fenton portal is a great option for summoning Hades. Hades is lord of the underworld and Phantom is king of the restless dead, which would normally make them equals. Except Danny has home field advantage (deathplace/grave/lifetime focal location. He was probably born there too, given his parents). Wonder Woman was working with JL Dark to stop the cult from summoning Hades only to see him get curb-stomped by a tiny teenager, who is also apparently a death god.

the concept of just a tiny Danny kicking an ancient god's ass is incredible

[stealingyourbones]

Danny is technically immune to the common superhero trap of being put in a dangerous situation as their civilian identity that they could easily handle in their superhero identity but wouldn't make sense for them as civilians to know. And the way Danny is immune to it is Danny has been through so many things in Amity Park just as Fenton that he could say he got the skills from. Or if in a different situation he could just say he learned the skill by proxy, "how did he take down the kidnappers." His ex-girlfriend as well as his mother were trained martial artist. "How did he hack into the system." His best friend is a wiz at computers. "How did he catch the ghost." He grew up in a family of ghost hunters. And so on

how on earth did this man evade a gas attack AND save 16 civilians single handedly? Simple. He's had to do crowd control to protect people from his parents ghost capturing rampages.

[stealingyourbones]

Clockwork has been waiting for danny for eons upon eons not to bring balance to the realms not to end the reign of pariah dark no

He has wait eons for danny to go through the complex steps of his life and death so he can rise to the rank and title of ancient of space for one reason and one reason only

Danny as ancient of space is the only person who can take a punch from the ancient of time without absolutely destroying them

And Clockwork just wants to have a fight like other ghosts but nook he has to be all mysterious instead cus he's the ancient of time he'd much rather just sock someone in the jaw but he can't for risk of sending them all through time

Clockwork just wants to all out brawl but these heroes keep making sure its not for villainous reasons, he just wants to brawl without hurting his buddies >:(

[stealingyourbones]

What if Danny is known as the mourning king because his ghost form wont stop crying and his ghost wail makes it seem like a messing crying, like mourning his own death just like the constant crying seems to mouen, not only his death, but his subjects' death too

oh this fUCKS

When he gets really fucking mad the tears crystalize into icy trails down his face.

[stealingyourbones]

Danny somehow some way accidentally gets stuck possessing bat man's cape

Now this isn't so bad for them danny gets a safe warm place to live and bruce gets what is basically the cloak of levitation plus the ability to hide in shadows (literally) and the presence of an eldritch entity

Unfortunately said entity is apparently a mother hen to rival Alfred (Alfred makes sure to take care washing the cloak afrer learning this)

Side note he can still eat while in the cloak the family find this out after bruce comes to dinner still wearing the cape and it latches over the dinner about a minute later it retracts leaving a empty plate

All magic users can now sense Batman from the EXTREMELY powerful aura coming from his cape.

[stealingyourbones]

i offer you a handful (ha) of wrist bones

what if someone (cough JLD cough) was looking to summon a ghost from the infinite realms and found a ritual where you only have to offer a filled out a sheet of what looks like Calculus homework and show your work.

Meanwhile Danny has been stuck on problem 13B for 3 hours and did not realize his word choicing mattered when he made spiteful jokes.

oh this is just beautiful

[stealingyourbones]

Had an idea for you.

Due to Shenanigans Danny and Jazzy end up in the DC verse which has much less ectoplasm than their own verse. Even more concerning is they are close to 80 years in the past from their point of view. Teenage Danny gets an apprenticeship with a clock maker and Jazzy becomes a school teacher.

Eventually Jazzy ends up marrying Thomas Constantine and having first Cheryl and then John and his twin. I don't know if Danny would ever get married or if he's simply focusing on his trade. By the time Jazzy dies as in John's backstory Uncle Danny is there to step up and help take care of him and Cheryl while Thomas falls apart. All throughout there childhood Cheryl and Johnny know they can count on Uncle Danny and with Danny's prompting John learns from the previous Laughing Magician and is not just winging his magic. Cut to modern day and John joins the JLD. Eventually he gets injured and they need to talk to his power of medical attorney to get permission for treatment or maybe John got a concussion and they need to have somebody they can send him home with. They see Danny Fenton and a New York address and assume this is a boyfriend. Superman Zips over to the address and find out that no, this is not his boyfriend, this is his uncle. Superman carries now late 90s Danny Fenton to Mt Justice to take care of his beloved Little Johnny. The JLA are never going to let him live that down!

Either that or there is a family day and John asks if he can have a relative come to the Watchtower. Batman thinks he means a relative of Cheryl's and after a thorough background check of all the Constantine - master family agrees. Then old Uncle Danny comes up! Danny still loves the stars and has kept up with the advances of the engineering over the decades as well as learn necromancy so he can talk to his sister in this reality. He is having a blast!

He may also attempt to adopt that poor Revenant over there though.

observing this ask like a bug under a microscope

[stealingyourbones]

Just an idea I wanted to share.

Danny and Damian are clearly not brothers. What they are, is switched at birth.

Talia messed up, took a mission too close to her due date, and went into labor early so she wound up in a civilian hospital. The Fentons were researching nearby ruins for ghost history when Maddie went into labor.

Two nearly identical black haired little boys born to foreigners in a small hospital in the middle of nowhere. Mistakes happen, and the babies were switched.

The truth doesn't come to light until Damian shows up at Bruce's place when he's 13, nearly 14. (Canon timeline is full of wibbly wobbly stuff.) Of course, he cares for the boy immediately, but also does a DNA test assuming Talia is lying. Clearly Talia is lying because the results show Damian is neither Bruce's nor Talia's.

Damian nearly has a breakdown and together he and Bruce track Talia back down for answers, but she's as confused as they are. She carried this baby and Bruce was, not her first lover, but definitely the last. What do you mean the DNA doesn't match?

As Talia, Bruce, and Damian begin their search for answers, in a small town in Illinois, an eerily similar looking boy, who was routinely exposed to the Lazarus Pits in vitro and has since been routinely exposed to ectoplasm, is stepping into a failed portal on the dare of his friends.

fascinating. Damian 100% breaks down after the DNA test. When he was first introduced to Bruce he was absolutely obsessed and taught by the League that he must fill in his fathers legacy. Blood relations are VERY important to the Al Ghuls. Damian figuring out he's not the rightful heir would crush him.

Damian is fully devoted to the mission of finding Danny. Does he want to battle him for the true title of the heir to the League of Assassins? Or does he try to convince Danny to take his place?

[stealingyourbones]

“So… let me get this straight,” Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Five months ago, you went to the library right after school—”

“Yeah.”

“And made friends with a kid your age—“

“That’s right.”

“Started dating him after a small while—“

“Yep,” Duke said absentmindedly, eyes focused on his phone rather than his pseudo-foster father. “Look man, I don’t know what you’re not getting.”

Pale blue eyes pin him down, not necessarily angry, but far from pleased. “How on earth did an eldritch god of balance, the king to another realm, claim you as his fiancé?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. Danny said it wasn’t on purpose—but for some reason us going out for boba is considered courting by ghost law.”

Danny is far more exasperated and annoyed, Duke is just going with the flow and accepts this far too easy, 7 evil ex's style.