#both because i knew it was the first one produced by amazon

[mikimeiko]

The Expanse | Season 4 (2019), Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby

[eds6ngel]

I just read one Fanfic -And it wasn’t even stranger things- which included a cum filled strap and now my bisexual ass (who also loves your writing) can’t stop thinking about Robin fucking R with one of those. 🫣🤭

She’d be shy at first, unsure what to do and if she’s really into it but -Oh boy- the minute she actually gets to fuck R with it 🫢

firstly, thank you, babes !! second, yes. absolutely yes. from a fellow bisexual, i'm absolutely in love with this idea (and horny af.) <3

warnings: SMUT!! afab!reader. strap-on use. dirty talk. mommy kink. breeding kink. pregnancy kink. orgasms. fake cum. internalised homophobia? (unsure how to label it.) modern!robin. r attracted to multiple genders (including cis men.) [0.9k].

robin would be super shy at first. she had insecurities that you thought she could never compare to a man because of her inability to produce sperm. she had used a strap many times before on you, but was the lack of ejaculation from it a personal problem?

it took a lot of convincing (and even more strap-use) for you to tell her that it wasn't a male-centric thing, it was simply the feeling that got you extremely riled up.

so, robin did tons of research. she spent many days on various different sex toy websites, trying to find the perfect toy for you, as well as how to use the piece of equipment.

and once it arrived, my god were you two excited.

you were both desperately trying to open the cardboard amazon box, getting out the fake bottle of cum and new dildo.

“okay, baby, so… according to this… you open the cap at the top there.”

you point to it, but robin’s hands appeared to be shaking again. she thought she had gotten used to the idea through her research, but seeing everything laid out in front of her… it made her nervous.

“hey, hey,” you cup her face gently, “what’s wrong, baby? talk to me.”

“i mean…” she hesitates. she couldn’t shake the feeling off that this felt too male-centric to her, despite you saying otherwise.

she already had worries the first time you had asked to use a strap. but, she quickly realised that she was indeed turned on by that and now couldn’t wait for the times you both wanted to use it.

but, a cum-filled one? that was a whole different level. you wanted a dick that filled you with cum, something she couldn’t physically give you.

“i’m just scared that you actually just want the real thing. like… this isn’t gonna feel like how it does with a man—”

you quickly shut her up with a kiss, whispering in a sultry tone, “i don’t wanna be cummed in by a man, i wanna be cummed in by you.”

and soon enough, the dildo was set up in the next ten minutes.

robin did her usual routine, fingering and eating you out like a woman starved, making you squirm and cry from her incredible actions.

she slotted the new toy into the harness, testing that it was a good fit, before demanding you to get on all fours for her, to which you obeyed immediately.

she lines up to your entrance, using your slick to lube up the dildo before slowly pushing in.

she let you get used to the new toy. it was your normal six inches, but just by the look of it, you both knew it was gonna feel different. she also had to remember not to push in to the hilt like she normally did, the ejaculation button sitting right at the top of the dildo. that would be a disaster if she miscalculated that and the tightness of your walls gliding over activated the squirting.

she felt her normal level of horniness at first, which was already extremely high because it was you after all. who wouldn’t be this turned on by the mere sight of you?

but, once the dirty talk kicked in? that is when she realised that she would need regular stock-ups of the fake cum.

hands gripping tightly into the flesh of your skin, the continuous slapping of her cock echoing off the four walls of your bedroom, you were screaming and yelling, “g-getting close, mommy. need your c-cum. need it so fucking bad.”

robin was gonna end up cumming to the mere sound of your words, letting go in sync with the toy, as if she was actually filling you up with her spunk.

“n-need you to breed me, mommy. need your babies.”

god, if she had an actual dick, she would be doing that every chance she got. the amount of mini buckley’s running around the house would be insane.

“yeah?” robin pants in your ear, leaning over your body, now thrusting directly into your cervix, “gonna let go for me? gonna let go so mommy can breed this pussy for you? make you all nice ‘n full?”

“y-yes! yes! oh my god! oh my god! i-i’m gonna—”

and by the intense grip on the bedsheets, to your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth hung open, violent noises escaping your throat, robin knew from memory that your orgasm had hit you like a freight train.

she waited for your orgasm to die down, before pushing in as far as she could go and pressing the button.

the fake cum squirted fiercely into your cervix, a long stream entering you, once, twice, three times as robin kept pushing the button over and over again.

she kept pressing and pressing until your legs started shaking, giving out underneath you as robin had to use her arm to catch your weight.

as you both recovered from the intense pleasure, robin silently pleaded to whatever power was out there that one day, there would be a way to make that stick.

and if she wasn’t already turned on enough, the sight of the cum dripping out of your pussy after she had pulled out was something to send her brain spiralling once again.

as she collected the spunk and shoved it forcefully back into your vagina, all she knew was that she needed to make another order of that substance. and she needed to make it soon.

a/n: please let me know if any of this came across as homophobic/lesbophobic/etc etc. i did double check with a queer woman i know who is in a wlw relationship, but she does not identify as a lesbian, so lesbians and other sapphics, correct me!! i'm open to learning more!!

taglist: @agxxb @robinsno1lesbian @agenderrat

[rotationalsymmetry]

Which btw I'm happy to reblog that sort of thing. (Prev post comparing BDSM to wrestling kayfabe, ie "this is make believe it's fine.")

But I do think an equally significant point is, if someone decides for whatever reason that kink is bad...ok, so what are you going to do about it?

Mostly that's going to cycle back to making things illegal or more difficult. Restricting which zones things like the power exchange can physically exist in. Driving kinky erotica off of Amazon. Restricting people's ability to publish information about kink. Keeping kink talk off of social media sites. Making/keeping it so that there is no legal distinction between consensual impact play and physical assault. Making it harder for people to talk explicitly about kink on dating sites, or in person with their friends.

And the thing about that, is, you can't really stop people from doing whatever they want to do in their own bedrooms (living rooms, cars, tents, hotel rooms, whatever.) Nor can you really stop people from having kinks, from wanting to do this stuff. What you can do is cut people off from community and from safety information, so that when people do do this stuff, it's more dangerous to them.

(Both more directly physically dangerous -- kink is mostly not that dangerous? but there's some risks -- and dangerous as in, people are more likely to get stuck with abusers when they can't talk to people about their relationship, or if they believe no one they talk to will understand.)

For a while it was illegal to produce BDSM porn in the US (or maybe just California? Not sure.) Did that mean BDSM porn didn't exist? Of course not. There were always videos of sexy people hitting each other that other people got off to. It just...had to look like it wasn't porn. So, no affection. No kissing. (Definitely no on-camera negotiation.) They couldn't stop BDSM porn, but they could make it worse.

The first kinky shit I did, in some ways the most extreme kinky shit I did, was with one other person that I met outside of a kink social context. He was going off some photos and his imagination. I'd read some Savage Love, so I at least knew what a safewords was. I didn't have anyone to talk to about what we were doing, I didn't have r/bdsm or anything, I had no way of getting a reality check and no way of getting more safety information as we went. And years later, I found the scene and went to classes and learned why you wrap the rope multiple times around someone's wrists rather than just once and learned about safety scissors and sharp shooting pains and aftercare and negotiation and sub drop and all sorts of things.

And I got really, really angry at the people who want me to only be able to do kink stuff the way I did it the first time. Because they'd rather I get hurt doing kink then be able to do it safely and with a community.

I don't especially want anyone to have a harm reduction approach to kink, because I don't think it's intrinsically harmful. But...I also don't need people to agree with me on that. Anyone who thinks Kink Is Bad, It Just Is well, you're the boss of your opinions! We don't have to agree on everything! But I think there's room to disagree on kink being just fine and also agree that attempting to get people to not do kink, by making it harder or illegal or more stigmatized, can only ever do more harm than good.

[crazycoke-addict]

Total Drama World Tour London Theory

In Total Drama World Tour Episode 13, I see London..., the contestants go to London where they have to find Jack the ripper before they find them. Jack, the ripper who turned out to be Ezekiel, was captured by Team Chris, which is really x4 hot while Team Amazon finds Duncan at a concert. Chris announced that Team Amazon wins despite not capturing Jack the ripper as they were supposed to. This is probably one of the most controlled challenges, especially what the results end up being. I decided to do a theory about this, and it can even be close to Canon.

My theory is that the capture Jack The ripper challenge was actually a fake challenge and a distraction for the real challenge. Finding Duncan was the real challenge, and I hope my examples are clear and understanding. Let's start from the beginning in the first episode of Total Drama World Tour. Chris tells them that this season have to sing, and while most aren't on board, they still do it anyway. Duncan, however, is vocal about not wanting to sing and later on. When Chris tells him, Duncan, Courtney, and Gwen have reprise the song. Duncan ends up quitting , and later on, Chris pushes him out of the plane.

We head over to the first aftermath of Total Drama World Tour where we find out that Chris has been looking for Duncan which confuses people like Beth because they are watching the show and they had witnessed Chris pushing Duncan out of the plane. It is possible that after the incident, the producers have been howling at Chris from the behind the scenes. It's possible that Duncan was one of the most popular contestants and gave the show a lot of rating. Chris finally finds Duncan in London, but because he didn't want to Duncan to find out. He made the jack the ripper challenge.

Chris needed to figure out what the challenge is, he knew that they were going to London and that Duncan is there. But how to get Duncan without him noticing they are coming. Chris needed to make sure that this plan worked so since he may have gotten some details about Duncan's band and also what London is known for. They found out about Jack the Ripper, which was an unsolved case about a serial killer who targeted sex workers during the Victorian era.

Chef probably told Chris that by the time they head over to London, it would be nighttime, and they haven't done a horror theme challenge yet. Not to mention, at some point, Chris and Chef may have found a feral Ezekiel and used him for the challenge as a "promise" to him that he can return.

The challenge is that the teams have to find Jack the Ripper before he catches them, and the first person who get captured is Alejandro and believe that it was intentional for this to happen. Chris has been watching the show before It gets released, and he'll notice how annoyed Alejandro is towards his teammates (mostly with owen). There in episode 13, and Alejandro's patience is on the edge. Not to mention that since Alejandro has pretty much eliminated Team Victory. He needs to focus on not only Team Amazon but also his own team as well.

At the start of episode 13, both of the teams are in the economy class because Chris needed first class for their upcoming challenge. The teams are interacting with each other, but once again, not only is Alejandro's teammates being just nuisance and how they are in the economy class once again. Alejandro leaves because he can't deal with being around them. Where he hears Chris and Chef talking. Alejandro is always shown to be an eavesdropping who analyses other contestants, so in the future, he can use that information later on.

Since Total Drama is a Canon reality TV, Chris has been watching the contestants interact with one and another, but also knows who Alejandro actually is. So, it's likely that he saw Alejandro was getting annoyed by everyone and had to get away from them. It was calculated for Alejandro to be the first one by Ezekiel because, by the time, they are officially in London. Team Chris is really x4 hot and is one short of a team member. Since the beginning of the episode, Team Chris was destined to lose this challenge.

Throughout the challenge, there's something interesting is the people who end up not getting captured by Ezekiel. Courtney and Gwen for Team Amazon, Noah and Owen for Team Chris is really x4 hot. Now, here's the thing, Noah is an intelligent person and he probably knows a lot about London itself but his knowledge involving Jack The Ripper isn't like Gwen's knowledge.

The last riddle is about Jack the Ripper being at the place where he used to commit his crimes mostly. Gwen answered that it has to be white chapel they need to go to while Noah appears to be struggling until Owen believes it is the double-decker bus. Both teams have different answers, and yet when we got to Noah and Owen, Ezekiel is there, meaning that Chris told him to go back to the double-decker bus. Meanwhile, Courtney and Gwen are closer to the prize that would help them win the challenge because capturing Duncan was the real challenge.

The teams returned, and it revealed that Team Amazon wins the challenge while Team Chris lost even though they captured Jack The Ripper. This caused a lot of confusion by everyone, but we know the real reason why Chris did this. This is the first time Team Chris is really x4 hot is going to the elimination room, and my second theory is that Noah's elimination was rigged.

Throughout the episode, Noah has more scenes, but also he openly talks about how he doesn't trust Alejandro and even compares him to a slippery eel. Unknown to Noah, Alejandro has been watching and listening the entire time. So when Tyler gets captured, Alejandro persuades him by bringing up how Lindsay used to mistake him for Noah. Alejandro and Tyler definitely voted Noah, while Noah would've voted for Alejandro. However, that leaves Owen. People believe that Duncan also voted, but Duncan just returned, and because he was on the run, he probably doesn't know what's happening, so I don't think he could even vote.

So the question is who Owen voted for. Throughout World Tour, Owen genuinely believes that Alejandro is his friend and Alejandro has used this back in the Am-AHH-Zon race episode where Alejandro manipulates Owen that he's the only person, Owen can trust. When Noah tells Tyler and Owen why he never trusted Alejandro. It appears that Owen trusts Noah more than he trusts Alejandro. When Noah is voted off, Owen appears to be devastated and even mentions him a few times in future episodes.

In the episode where they go to Area 51, we find out Alejandro is really hypnosis and when he says the word "revenge", Owen is forced to do the running man while singing "Take me out to the ball game". Earlier on, Alejandro hypnotised Owen into calming down. So, you could say that Owen has been under Alejandro's hypnosis the entire time, but there's no evidence to show that. In the Slap Slap Revolution episode, Owen claims he even afraid of flying because of Alejandro being their leader. But I think it makes Owen believe that because in the next episode, he has a nightmare involving the plane crashing. With Noah out of the picture, Alejandro can now fully manipulate Owen by using hypnosis on him.

This gives us the answer that Owen actually voted Alejandro in the London episode. While yes, this is a tie, but because Chris pretty much controls everything, he decided that Noah is to be gone since he can't kick Alejandro out yet. Chris even describes Alejandro as "a reality producer's dream and everyone else's nightmare." Chris wasn't going to cause his most prize possession to be eliminated right before the merge even begins. Chris even lied when he said that there were three votes against Noah because, similar to Alejandro, Chris is planting the idea in Noah's head that Owen voted for him.

This is my London theory, I hope you like it.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The Lost Cause prologue, part 6

I'm coming to Minneapolis! Oct 15: Presenting The Internet Con at Moon Palace Books. Oct 16: Keynoting the 26th ACM Conference On Computer-Supported Cooperative Work and Social Computing.

For the past week, I've been serializing the prologue of The Lost Cause, my solarpunk novel of a post-Green New Deal backlash that comes out on November 14:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865939/the-lost-cause

The occasion is a crowdfunding campaign for the audiobook – because Amazon won't carry my audiobooks on Audible, I self-produce them and pre-sell them on Kickstarter. The campaign is going brilliantly, and there's still time to back it:

http://lost-cause.org/

Usually I hire voice actors like Wil Wheaton to read my audiobooks, but this time, at the urging of director Gabrielle de Cuir, I read it myself. It came out great:

Today is the final day of the serial. I hope you enjoyed it!

Here's part one:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/06/green-new-deal-fic/#the-first-generation-in-a-century-not-to-fear-the-future

And part two:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/07/met-cute-ugly/#part-ii

And part three:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/09/working-the-refs/#lost-cause-prologue

And part four:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/10/weaponized-interdependence/#super-soaker-full-of-hydrochloric-acid

And part five:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/11/equal-opportunity-class-war/#part-v

And now, the thrilling conclusion!

“Hey,” someone hissed from beneath the climber and I nearly jumped out of my seat.

“Jesus,” I said, and it came out as a loud bark that echoed down the empty street.

“Shhh,” the voice said. “What are you doing out there, man?”

“I’m sitting on a bench. What are you doing in there?”

“Wait, Brooks?”

“Yeah. Who’s that?”

A person climbed out of the climber, then another. As they drew closer to me, I recognized them as Dave and Armen, two goofballs I’d known since grade school, and I knew exactly what they were doing.

“Are you assholes out here in the middle of the night tripping balls?” I couldn’t help but smile, though. It was so them.

“No,” Armen said, and then Dave spoiled it by dissolving into giggles.

“Just some shrooms,” Dave said. They were everywhere, whenever the rains came, all over the hills and even on the verges between the sidewalks and the roads, popping up faster than the city could send out workers to pick them and destroy them (or, rumor had it, to dry them out and offer them for sale, if you knew the right person).

“On a school night?”

“Yeah. Only a month to graduation. What’s it matter anymore? The dire is cast.”

“The die,” I said.

“Die,” Armen said. “How morbid.” They both dissolved into more giggles. These guys. I mean, they were high af, but they had been like this since the third grade. They were silly, and not all that smart, but they were nice, never mean to anyone, never on anyone’s side in any kind of feud, even the ones where everyone took a side.

Armen and Dave were like goofball Switzerland, neutral and always in a corner making each other laugh. To be honest, they were exactly the guys I needed to see at that moment.

“Got any more shrooms?”

We stayed up all night tripping balls and eating more mushrooms whenever we started to come down. About three thirty in the morning Armen suggested we walk up to Brace Canyon, which is a long-­ass walk, but Armen insisted that the sunrises from Brace were incredible so that’s where we went.

It turned out he was wrong. It was sunsets that were great from Brace Canyon. The sun rose behind us, staining all of Burbank—­ the airport, downtown, Magnolia Park—­pink as it crested the hill behind us, and Armen was embarrassed to have gotten it backward and tried to convince us to climb farther up, try to get over the hill and see the sun rise on the other side before it was fully up, but Dave pointed out that the last time they tried that they got stuck because of the monster houses on top of the hills with high fences, and then I pointed out that he was talking about a thirty-­ minute run and the sun would be over the hill in five minutes, and then Armen pointed out that we’d been tripping and walking all night and we were all tired, so we lay in the grass and watched the city brighten by degrees.

Then it started to get hot, and we were coming down and dozed a little, but then the mosquitoes came out, and then the dog-­walkers, and so it was time to drag our asses back down out of the hills.

They walked with me down to Glenoaks, then we split up. There was no way I was going to school that day. I knew the guidance office would give me an excused absence after my traumatic events and all, so I bumbled home slowly, my legs filled with lead, my eyelids drooping. People passing by on bikes or on foot gave me a wide berth that let me know I was giving off walk-­of-­shame vibes.

I got home and paused in front of the back door. Did I dare go inside? Would Gramps still be awake and “ornery”? Would he be out with his Maga Club buddies planning Mike Kennedy’s wake? Or would they be in the living room, ready to give my ass the beatdown Gramps could no longer administer himself?

Hell with it. I was so tired I was about to fall over. If Gramps hadn’t calmed down by now, then he and I could just have another fight. I’d let him win. Why not? I was tired and graduation was weeks away.

I let myself in. The house was spooky-­quiet. What was spooky about quiet? It was always quiet when Gramps was out, or when he had his headphones on to listen to his podcasts, while he played large-­format solitaire on his huge tablet.

But it was spooky. I think I must have known. Otherwise, why wouldn’t I have just gone to bed? I mean, I was really tired. I didn’t go to bed. I called out “Gramps?” as I moved from room to room, and I saw that his keys were on the kitchen table and that his shoes were by the door, so I went to his bedroom and whispered “Gramps?” and knocked softly, as though he was asleep.

But I think I knew, even before I opened the door. Otherwise, why would I have peeled back the covers? Why would I have reached out to touch the exposed skin of his neck, felt how cold it was? Why would I have turned him over, boneless and limp, and put my ear next to his mouth, knowing there would be no breath sounds?

I called the nonemergency number and told them my grandfather was dead, that he had died in his sleep, and then I filled the biggest glass in the kitchen with cold brew. I was going to need to stay awake for a while yet.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/13/pour-encoragez-les-autres/#fin

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

[teamfreewill2pointo]

How long do you think Jensen has been sitting on these deals? I’m guessing he was always going to be big in S5 of The Boys and he had the Soldier Boy prequel back in 2022 when Amazon signed him. No one would talk about either until S4 aired because it would have been a spoiler in ref to S4. Think Countdown came after the other two deals with Amazon, and Tracker is just a fun, friend thing. I also think the move to CT was to position Jensen a short plane ride from home, while filming those two Boys shows out of Toronto. What are your thoughts?

The Soldier Boy thing wasn't a done deal then. The thing about Hollywood is that it can change on a dime. I've heard of other projects Jensen had in the works that never made it. Remember how he was working with Greg Berlanti?

Kripke says that he pitched both Vought Rising and Gen V back in 2020, but that Amazon said that they would see how Gen V did before agreeing to Vought Rising.

Based on what one of my industry sources said, I think Jensen knew he was doing Vought Rising by spring of this year as the latest. Unless Kripke was lying about Amazon waiting to see how Gen V would do, Jensen didn't have Vought Rising when he signed.

This article says, "I hear the possibility for a Soldier Boy spinoff from The Boys was factored into the deals for Countdown, so Ackles could do both."

Which, to me, means that he signed for a show like Countdown first, but had the option for him to do Vought Rising if that was given the greenlight. From how Jensen talked about his deal with Amazon in m&gs and how these deals normally work, he didn't sign up for Countdown specifically, but it was one of many possible shows.

My producer friend says that Jensen would've been given a variety of different scripts, and then he would select the scripts that interested him from that pile, and he would work together with the producers to see if a viable product could be made. There's no evidence CMP is involved with Countdown, but if they were, we'd see the official announcements talk about it in a different way.

So while Countdown did come after the deal with Amazon (which wasn't made for a specific show) it wasn't after Vought Rising, which wasn't inked until after Amazon saw the ratings for Gen V. Gen V first aired Sept 29, 2023. They probably waited a few episodes to see if the audience stuck around, since some shows can have strong pilots, but then drop off dramatically.

That means Vought Rising likely didn't get a go ahead until October 2023 at the earliest.

[an-aura-about-you]

starting in on Handbook for Mortals and I'm just going to cover all the miscellaneous beginning crap that this thing is wrapped in before actually starting on the story.

first thing I'm going to talk about is what's on the back of the book because not a lot of people talk about what was chosen for that. usually there's a brief blurb with the premise of the book or maybe some reviews, sometimes even a little paragraph directly from it to entice the reader. that last one is my standby when I need to put a summary for a fic.

Handbook for Mortals went the route of paragraph from the book as well as three quotes from romance author Skye Turner, who also wrote the foreword for the book, and the promise that this book will soon be turned into a movie. which was due to come out *checks my wrist* six years ago. this has not yet happened, but the author is still insisting it will.

anyway, the bit chosen from the book to highlight what we're getting into is a conversation between our main character and her love interest, which is meant to be some enemies to lovers stuff. but honestly I'm a bit uncomfortable at the, "looked like he might hit me, but I knew that wasn't really an option for him," in there. so, we are already setting up our love interest as a person who needs some kind of mental restraining bolt to refrain from violence instead of just, y'know, not being violent. really speaks to his morals right there. absolutely trustworthy, surely his resolve is ironclad.

this also speaks to the genre of the book because there's a lot of talk about this book having magic and being magical but it's the romance we're choosing to set up here. I think it's safe to say magic is going to be present in this book the way coffee is in a coffee shop au fanfic: it's technically true but it's not why we're reading the story and ultimately not important to it.

I'm not even gonna bother with the blurb on the inside of the dust jacket because it's literally just a synopsis of the entire book. even the ending. I'm not even kidding.

now I wanna talk about the autographs my copy came with. the book I bought for $2 off of Amazon was signed by both the author Lani Sarem and actor-potential producer of the movie Thomas Ian Nicholas, and both of them write some pretty weird things to the people they gave this book to. (there were two names in the personalizations as well as a post-it note with those same names. my best guess is one person in the couple preordered the book with Sarem, requested that it be signed, and then never picked it up. hilarious if true.)

I'll start with American Pie guy's dedication first:

"Be the magician who fools magicians."

like. what? what does that even mean?

Sarem's is both worse and funnier:

"Never forget those who do not believe in magick will never find it! Thanks for believing!"

well I guess they didn't believe too much if they never picked up their book. also that just feels so mean-spirited to me. had I written a similar dedication, I would phrase it as, "Never forget those who believe in magic will always find it!" then it's still exclusive without needlessly dragging others down for ~not being able to find the magic in their lives~. not to mention my own personal pet peeve with the whole magick thing, but that is a rant for considerably later.

there is a typo in the book's disclaimer:

"Any similarity to real persons, living or deal,"

but also that doesn't make sense because I know this book has the real life Plain White T's with their real names as well as Carrot Top and Wayne Newton.

there's also proof that Sarem had permission to use all the song lyrics she uses in the story, which are so copious that without thinking I originally wrote the word, "fic," in this sentence. because yeah, this reeks of songfic, the rare example of one where the person writing has permission to actually use the song. look, I've only seen song lyrics work in a book exactly once, and that was Good Omens. and Lani Sarem is not Terry Pratchett or Neil Gaiman.

(I should know, I just listened to the audiobook for Stardust as a sort of cleanser to remind me what a good book sounds like. it's shockingly refreshing listening to the work of an author who is actually good at their job.)

the dedication is also just. ugh:

"This is dedicated to: The granddaughters of the witches you could not burn and for all those who believe in Magic."

that exists in print in this book. I'm assuming seriously.

I took a peek at how long the foreword is but don't have time to get in on it before I start work today, so this is where I leave things for now.

[hologramcowboy]

I’m so sorry that this is long, but I just wanted to put my two cents in. This is just my opinion by the way:

To answer your question on why Jensen would pass up a breakthrough role, Jared said at a con that it was tough filming a movie while filming Spn and Jensen agreed saying how both of them were tired and that Jensen didn’t want to do another movie and Jared said the same thing. But we also need to took at it this way, Spn was a very cushy job. 15 years of job security, payed very well, and getting to do what he love. Then, Spn was over and he needed to go out and audition for jobs again, which is something he hadn’t done since 2004. And according to him, his wife didn’t want him home and wanted him to look for a job. So let’s break down all of his roles he had so far: a guest role on TB courtesy of asking his former boss and having to correct his audition tape a couple times before submitting it to Amazon execs, a role on Rust that he got because the original actor dropped out and the movie is looking incomplete at the moment, calling up an old friend and asking for a guest role on BS because he knew he was out of the job and the friend ending up writing a role just for him, that can connect to the storyline (per his own words). And I’ll be honest with you if the producer had half-assed Jensen’s role, Jensen’s character would’ve been like Danneel’s role on Spn: Written just for him and didn’t serve any purpose to the storyline. A nepotism role that wouldn’t have gone anywhere and would be unmemorable. A job he couldn’t get on his own merit. And I’m pretty sure he only signed on to do 1 season on BS, which it’s been rumored that this season will be its last. Then there’s TW, that he was hoping would get a back order on season 1, so he could direct and line more money to his pocket (again his words), but that didn’t happen. Which led to him live tweeting for the very first time and not even using the hashtags. Then there’s the super secret Berlanti project that no one has talked about since March, and now he’s back to voice acting. Hearing him speak, he isn’t happy with how his career is going so far, and I don’t blame him. It’s been hard on him, but name dropping and sounding like a bitter has-been actor isn’t going to make it any better.

Then there’s Jared who seems very happy with everything going on, because essentially he got what he wanted. He hopped into another lead role, he’s filming in his backyard so he can come home to his family every single night, hanging out with his family and friends, and EP for 2 successful projects. And when asked about the possibility of cancellation, he gave a very mature answer saying that whatever happens he’s going out doing what he loves and that it was ok. He’s not desperate, like Jensen potentially is because he had talked about retiring and spending time with his family. Jensen claimed that Danneel wanted him to keep working, and that he wanted time off to spend with her and the kids, but I don’t necessarily think that’s true now. It might’ve been true in the beginning, but I don’t think that’s the case anymore and it hasn’t been for a while.

Oh, he never planned to take a break because for an Actor like him taking a break means fading into oblivion. He cannot afford to take a break. That's the harsh reality. People make choices based on their true priorities, Jensen's choices reveal his priorities do not lie at home but rather he still has levels of fame he wants to reach, his values aren't centered in family so you are spot on with your observation. People can lie with words but their choices always reveal their priorities and often their priorities can even be unconcious when they don't know themselves enough to consciously choose things in alignment with their core values. If Jensen's core values were being a dad or family man he would build his life around his children now that he's a dad yet we see him more interested in chasing down bigger roles and more fame and we even see his wife supposedly pushing him into it(to her he's her ticket to fame after all) so as much as the Ackles preach happy, loving family, at the end of the day they make business oriented choices. Jensen could work in voice over and spend pleeenty of time with the kids, IF he wanted.

Jared on the other hand is coherent with his values, stuck by his family and by his dreams, built both, supported both and continues to do so wholeheartedly, he moved the show to shoot where his family was because it was important for him to be near his kids for him to be able to continue his career. With him there is no disctepancy between what he declares and what he actually then chooses to do. He is in alignment with his values and his values are a mix of both family centered as well as career centered.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 10/02/2024

Noah Kahan’s “Stick Season” is still #1, it’s a short episode, you really probably should skip it - there's nothing of value discussed here... welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

This is not a good week. You could call it a stale week, it’s probably accurate, because there’s not much of interest and what is here is mostly utter garbage. Potentially, up there with the worst weeks ever in terms of new arrivals to the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, and speaking of what I cover, notable dropouts are songs exiting said top 75 after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40, and this week, we bid adieu to: “Skin and Bones” by David Kushner, “neé-nah” by 21 Savage, Travis Scott and Metro Boomin, “Practice” by Drake, “Pink Friday Girls” and “Everybody” featuring Lil Uzi Vert by Nicki Minaj and finally, “Paint the Town Red” by Doja Cat. One highlight of this dire week is that I’m not really complaining about any of that.

Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved” returns to #67, what a joy, as well as “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #62 and “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus at #51. Can’t help but think the GRAMMYs had some influence on these. As for notable gains, we see boosts for Taylor’s “Is it Over Now?” at #68, “MY EYES” by Travis Scott at #65, “What Was I Made For?” by Billie Eilish at #58, “Would You (go to bed with me?)” by Campbell and Alcemist at #52, “Perfect (Exceeder)” by Mason vs. Princess Superstar at #39, “Runaway” by Ye featuring Pusha T at #35, seemingly because well, there may or may not be an album coming because that’s what we needed: more discourse. Then we have “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi at #31, “Selfish” by Justin Timberlake at #29 (why are we doing this?), “exes” by Tate McRae at #23, “Alibi” by Ella Henderson featuring Rudimental at #16 (Christ), and we end with two positives at least, as YG Marley and Benson Boone both get their first top 10s with pretty damn good songs, in my opinion: “Praise Jah in the Moonlight” at #9 and “Beautiful Things” at #5, which brings us to that top five, which is otherwise completely the same as last week. Jack Harlow’s at #4, Teddy Swims at #3, Sophie Ellis-Bextor at #2 and for a sixth week, Noah Kahan at #1. You know the song names off by heart by now, and I need some time to let off a deep sigh before rattling off the new songs. Oh, boy, the new songs.

New Entries

#75 - “Out for Love” - Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft and Daphne Rubin-Vega

Produced by Andrew Underberg and Sam Haft

So, Hazbin Hotel was a web pilot by Vivienne Medrano or “ViziePop” that was later picked up by Amazon as a television series this year. It is a musical animated series hence has several soundtrack singles, and given the weak charts and viral nature of the show, some of them have ended up here. I watched the pilot and first four episodes of the series, and found it genuinely quite difficult to stomach - I love adult animation, I love musicals, I actually even like the art style - it was the narrative elements of the show that killed it for me, and this is not a TV review blog, it’s a music review blog. I knew at least one song would debut as the midweek update showed one song at #73, I figured that would be the only song and it could potentially not even appear, so I wrote a very tersely-worded review for that song in particular. It’s a bit… not all that useful anymore, for lack of a better phrase. So I’m largely not going to be covering these. This is from the seventh episode, which I haven’t seen. Song doesn’t make any Goddamn sense to me. Journalism.

#74 - “Thank You (Not So Bad)” - Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike, Tiesto, Dido and W&W

Produced by Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike, Tiesto, W&W, Bassjackers and Renze Michels

Okay, if you’re going to credit a grand total of five EDM producers, why not go the full mile and have all eight pick out a lead? Also, I would ask how eight people were involved in producing this if I had any doubts that it wasn’t just an uncredited guy who got paid to sell this lazy sample flip off to people with actual star power. A sample flip of what, you may ask? Sigh… well, if there’s anything vaguely positive I can say about “Alibi” is that it’s influential. This is somehow even lazier, however, so I guess let’s start with some kind of history.

First of all, Dido’s “Thank You” is a perfectly fine, honest song that peaked at #3 in 2001 - “Do You Really Like It?” by DJ Pied Piper & the Masters of Ceremonies rightfully took #1 that week - and whilst I’ve never been a big fan, I can definitely see why the melancholy downtempo ballad resonates with people, and on a bad day, I can definitely throw this on and feel a little hope. This is a bad chart day, and if “Thank You” were to chart in its original form, it could perhaps be a reminder that things are, despite everything, it’s not so bad. So I imagine rap fans will know one of if not both of the uses of this song in popular hip hop, the first being Eminem’s classic “Stan”, probably my second favourite of his. It actually did #1 for one week in 2000, before the original had charted. It’s a stark and incredibly clever recontextualisation of the song that I’m pretty sure has already been discussed as much as possible, there’s a reason why many consider it Em’s crowning moment. Rae Sremmurd, “Lean’s Gone Cold”… maybe not so much. That one didn’t chart, but it’s funny.

Now there is precedent for house remixes of “Thank You”, and whilst I’m willing to consider interpretations and reimaginings of practically any song as any different style, I feel like making “Thank You” more danceable than just a vague nodding of the head skews some of the narrative’s tone? It definitely makes for a weirder, more dissonant listen, and whilst the Deep Dish remix, actually a GRAMMY Award-winning remix, does its best to maintain the atmosphere in its nine minutes, turning “not so bad” into a faint, looping mantra under a constantly developing house groove, to the point where it is a genuinely pretty great house song production wise… it still doesn’t feel like a great adaptation of “Thank You”, just a different product entirely, which makes sense and honestly makes for a better song. It doesn’t try and be “Thank You”, despite not even registering itself as an original song, just a remix of the original still credited solely to Dido. In 2016, European electro house duos Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike and W&W made a song called “Arcade”, it’s a loud, compressed smorgasboard of cheap synth sounds made for a live festival setting and being practically unlistenable outside of that context. In 2020, German producers Felix Jaehn and VIZE made a much more conventional and, at least in terms of how much it cribs from the original, a more faithful rendition of “Thank You”, subtitled “Not So Bad”. It’s a flavourless tropical house riff that I think the world would be better off not hearing, it’s like “Thank You” by Dido if she was commissioned to make it by an advertising company looking for a soundtrack to gym commercials.

Somewhere across the line, I guess it must have been Tiesto who said, “What if we made a version of that Felix Jaehn song but basically in the soundfont of “Arcade”?” - the latter even being directly listed as a sample on Genius. I mean, otherwise, I don’t know what the Hell Tiesto is doing here but, generally, you have to be shitting me, right? This is two minutes and 20 seconds constructed out of bits and pieces of songs I may not like but had a lot more purposeful artistic intent to them, if that’s a correct way of phrasing it. This is a vaguely functional crap-shoot molded from genuine song ideas, starting with a gentle singer-songwriter track that actually means a Hell of a lot to millions of people. I’d believe that to many fans, that Rae Sremmurd rendition means a lot to them. What does this mean to anybody?

#63 - “Bandit” - Don Toliver

Produced by ReidMD

I don’t like Don Toliver, really, or Tame Impala for that record, but there’s a level of inherent quality here, right? Don can sing, Tame Impala can construct a vibe and the sample here is “One More Hour” from their 2020 album The Slow Rush, it’s completely serviceable, could make for a good song. So why the sample is rendered in such low quality screeching is beyond me, but hey, maybe a powerful beat could work? Oh, the trap skitter is not only completely rote and overdone, it’s really high in the mix and distracts from the bass, which could really help make this song work? Okay, well, what’s Don doing? Being basically a cartoon character with his flows and incessant ad-libs? Well, that could be fun - oh, he’s comparing himself to Marilyn Manson? Barely rhyming? Catching a good, intense flow only to mumble repeated lines mostly about having sex that make up much of the song, with a tiny verse in the middle? Well, maybe the outro can make up for it - oh, he’s doing a Cookie Monster impression. Welp, all hope is lost.

#55 - “Poison” - Blake Roman, Sam Haft and Andrew Underberg

Produced by Sam Haft and Andrew Underberg

This is an upbeat synthpop jam that soundtracks a sex slavery montage. It sounds like a song by The Weeknd covered by a SpongeBob AI voice model. Next.

#53 - “Loser, Baby” - Andrew Underberg, Sam Haft, Keith David and Blake Roman

Produced by Sam Haft and Andrew Underberg

This was the song that made me turn the fourth episode off in disgust. I had a massive review prepared, covering its treatment of sexual abuse, which probably gave it a higher degree of nuance and generosity than many others are willing to give it, but I’m not compelled to rant about cartoons in this series. I want to write about animation more often but preferably animation I like or actually find compelling. With all respect to those who enjoy it and power to them, Hazbin Hotel was not something I would like to grant any more attention than the brief necessity of my format. Thanks for understanding.

#40 - “Home” - Good Neighbours

Produced by Good Scott and Oli Fox

I was very much willing to give this one a good shake because, I mean, what else do we have? Scott and Fox teased this on TikTok months prior before releasijng this as their official debut single together, after malformed, quickly aborted solo runs a few years ago. Sounds like a recipe for chart success and oh, the song’s terrible. It has a whistle about as charming as the American Authors’ milennial whoops, really insufferably screeching vocal tones that remind me of Passion Pit more than anything - that isn’t really a good thing - and sentimental lyrics about what home means to him, which would be completely serviceable without the stiff, grooveless splodge of grey matter that calls itself a chorus. Oh, and you know those sentimental lyrics? They’re gone by this point, it’s an incredibly manipulative breakup song with some really gross attempts at poetry - “wrap my name across your mouth when I let my feelings down”? Ew, man, Charlie Puth is less contrived than this. Naturally, the song goes nowhere and sadly, that probably won’t be its chart trajectory. Yet, once again, this song is practically unlistenable.

Conclusion

…Don Toliver gets Best of the Week. Somehow. Thanks for reading, I guess? See you next whenever.

[genkiro]

Warren Buffett's Annual Letters points

The wisdom of many things only reveals after you actually have skin in the game.

Volatility is far from synonymous with risk.

History has been repeating, and the buy and hold, a.k.a., diamond hands, always win in the end.

Their focus should remain fixed on attaining significant gains in purchasing power over their investing lifetime.

Active trading, attempts to “time” market movements, inadequate diversification, the payment of high and unnecessary fees to managers and advisors, and the use of borrowed money can destroy the decent returns that a life-long owner of equities would otherwise enjoy. Indeed, borrowed money has no place in the investor’s tool kit: Anything can happen anytime in markets.

At Berkshire, we, too, crave efficiency and detest bureaucracy.

A well-known Mungerism: “If you want to guarantee yourself a lifetime of misery, be sure to marry someone with the intent of changing their behavior.”

Warren Buffett admitted the mistake of purchasing a business with shares by diluting shareholders, instead of using cash.

When one startup that I (Grace Huang the writer) knew was facing acquisition opportunities, both cash offers and equity offers were presented. The companies with cash offers happened to be the ones who were opportunistic about the company’s futures, and the ones with equity offers or even option offers were the ones with unfathomable risks.

During such scary periods, you should never forget two things: First, widespread fear is your friend as an investor, because it serves up bargain purchases. Second, personal fear is your enemy.

Key qualities for acquisition:

1. Able and high-grade management

2. Good returns on the net tangible assets required to operate the business

3. Opportunities for internal growth at attractive returns

4. A sensible purchase price

They were required to use a new accounting rule — a generally accepted accounting principle (GAAP), where the net change in unrealized investment gains and losses in stocks would be included in all net income figures. They warned that this requirement would produce some wild swings in their GAAP bottom-line because they had a huge holding of stocks.

We consider a portion of that stash (US Treasury bills & other fixed-income instruments) to be untouchable, having pledged to always hold at least $20 billion in cash equivalents to guard against external calamities. We have also promised to avoid any activities that could threaten our maintaining that buffer.

Many successful businesses, especially Amazon, retained and used the profit to fund exponential growth.

I believe I was right in concluding that PCC would, over time, earn good returns on the net tangible assets deployed in its operations. I was wrong, however, in judging the average amount of future earnings and, consequently, wrong in my calculation of the proper price to pay for the business

[spotlightauthors]

C.C. Miller/Charm White

C.C. Miller/Charm White considers the beautiful state of Georgia her second home, even though she is a Jamaican native. She is a freelance writer who started her writing career as a columnist for a well-known entertainment newspaper company in her birth country. Her passion for writing has allowed her to dabble in poetry as well as contribute articles to prominent blog websites, magazines, and other print media. She continues to write short stories in her spare time and has a soft spot for romance novels.

C.C. Miller/Charm White has brought her years of writing experience and skills to the forefront in her “Love Heartbreak” series, her fantasy/sci-fi romance, “Shedding: A Nagalian story”, the “Funnel” series, “Insatiable” series, “Will You Take It or Leave It”, and “My Chinese Rose”. She has also published the children's book, “Prince Selas and the Leopon”. She plans on continuing her journey as a novelist and hopes to captivate her readers with her fresh perspective and limitless creativity.

Author Name: C.C. Miller/Charm White

How long have you been writing? My entire life! However, I started writing professionally at the age of 16 when I was hired as a part-time columnist. I also wrote my first novel in 2018.

Did you ever imagine that you would be published one day? Yes. I have always dreamed of becoming a published writer and knew one day it would happen.

What made you want to become an author? I love writing. I have been writing since I was a child. I started out with poetry, elevated to journaling and stories in my teen years, and today I am a full-blown writer.

How long have you been published? Since 2018.

How does it feel to be published? I feel very accomplished and grateful.

Are you self-published or did you go through a publishing company? Why? I am both self-published and this year, my book ‘Will You Take It or Leave It?’ was published by J. Mark Publishing, which I am very excited about. I chose to self-publish because it seemed to be an easier process at the time. However, you do have to do everything yourself, including marketing, which can be a challenge, so I decided to try the publishing company route.

How many books have you written? About 13 books and counting.

What is/are the name of your book(s)? I have three series. The Love Heartbreak Series, Funnel Series, and the Insatiable Series. I also wrote Shedding: A Nagalian Love Story, My Chinese Rose, and Prince Selas and the Leopon.

What genre is it/are they in? I mainly write romance, but “Shedding” is a sci-fi fantasy genre and “Prince Selas and the Leopon” is a children’s fantasy novel.

What do you feel will inspire others to never forget when they read your story(ies)? I write very angsty, edgy romance narratives which are sometimes dark but overall, my unique writing style.

What's the hardest part about writing a book? Finishing it. I can’t tell you how many unfinished books I have sitting on my computer at this moment.

What's the easiest part about writing a book? Starting it. Once that seed has been planted, your fingers start to produce words.

Where can interested readers purchase their copy of your book(s)? Readers can purchase a copy of my book on Amazon, and most major bookstores online, including Barnes and Noble, Walmart, and Book-A-Million. You may also visit the J. Mark Publishing website.

Do you have any future projects in the works? I am currently working on “Shedding: The Rise of an Heir”, “Meet Me Soon”, “My Chinese Dragon”, and “King Selas and the Wild Zorse”.

Is there a tentative release date? Not at this time.

Do you have any social media sites that you would like to share with my readers? Yes. You may find me on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook.

[j2memories]

Variety article (October 9th 2020)

‘Supernatural’s’ Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki on Their Final Scene Together, Moving onto ‘The Boys’ and ‘Walker’

Oct 9, 2020 9:00am PT

By Danielle Turchiano

The Winchesters’ work may not yet be done on “Supernatural,” but their portrayers, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki, already have to think about shedding Dean and Sam and stepping into new characters.

The CW demon-hunting drama called series wrap in early September, with the guys sharing their final scene as on-screen brothers on Sept. 10.

“When I showed up, it was our last day of filming at the studios and it was a big day, script-wise. And our third AD, Emma — we call her G.G., which is short for ‘garden gnome,’ because she’s little — she came up to me and was already in tears; she was like, ‘It’s our last day at the studio.’ And I just said, ‘Nope. No, no no, another day at the office, business as usual, don’t start that s—.’ That’s how I do the work,” Ackles tells Variety.

With only days since between wrap and chatting with Variety, Padalecki points out that he doesn’t “know if I’ve unpacked” what that final brother moment fully means emotionally. He shares that he has been “avoiding really delving back into that mindset and what it means and what it meant.”

“Even though Jensen and Jared knew, ‘Hey “Supernatural’s” done on Friday; we finished on Thursday,’ we had to treat it like, ‘OK this may be the last minute of the Super Bowl, but we’ve still got plays to make’; we still have to be on point,” he explains.

“Supernatural” began airing the final seven episodes of its 15-season run on Oct. 8, with the world watching whether or not the Winchesters would be able to defeat God (Rob Benedict), who has been hell-bent (no pun intended) on destroying universes of late. Unlike seasons past, though, the episodes have wrapped ahead of time: The first five were finished in the spring, as the show was originally scheduled to end in May. When the coronavirus pandemic halted production, they had two episodes to go, which were completed amid the still-ongoing pandemic in early September.

“We didn’t let COVID stop any brother moments,” Padalecki promises, noting that protocol on-set had the co-leads getting tested every three days and only interacting with essential personal, such as each other, the director, cinematographer and their key makeup and hair artists.

“In those final moments, without giving away too much, one thing you’ll see in my opinion for me [is] the lines that separate the the character from the actor get heavily blurred,” Ackles says of Dean and Sam’s last scene together.

Because of schedule changes due to COVID, both Ackles and Padalecki were able to look ahead to what their next projects would be before finishing the arguably the longest-running one of which they will ever be a part.

Early this year, Padalecki booked the titular role in the CW’s reboot of “Walker, Texas Ranger,” simply titled “Walker”; for the first time in his career he will also be an executive producer on that project. In August, Ackles announced he would be joining the cast of Amazon Prime Video’s “The Boys” for the third season, playing the first superhero, Soldier Boy. Just yesterday, it was announced the Ackles also signed an overall deal with Warner Bros. Television Group.

“My new character, Walker, is different than Sam and so I’ve been spending time since they called, ‘That’s a wrap,’ getting back into that mindset. I was able to get into that mindset during quarantine, but I know as well as any actor that it takes a while to fully flesh out a character anyways — and it should,” says Padalecki. “If ‘Walker,’ the TV show, goes for three or four or five or six or seven years or whatever, then I hope he’s more fleshed-out and more developed than he was during the pilot. And so, I’ve done a lot of work — I’ve done the character work — and I’m going to start from there and let what happens between ‘action’ and ‘cut’ inform me more.”

Both actors say that no matter what new character comes their way, there have been invaluable lessons learned on the set of “Supernatural” that they will carry with them.

“The last 15 years was not just going to work, it was an educational experience. I learned a lot about everything I do. Jared and I didn’t go to school for this; we learned on the job. And so, the more on-the-job we have been, the more we have learned. I certainly never anticipated being this educated in what we do, and I think that that will only help us in what we do moving forward,” says Ackles.

Adds Padalecki: “I’m going to take Sam Winchester and the lessons I learned from ‘Supernatural,’ proudly, into every job I do — and probably outside of jobs, just as what kind of a human being I want to be.”

“Supernatural” airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on the CW.

Watch Variety’s video interview with Ackles and Padalecki above.

Link to the article

[egcdeath]

the mediocre american bake-off

pairing: steve rogers x reader

summary: when you and steve participate in morgan’s annual bake-off, things get a little ugly.

word count: 2k

warnings: established relationship, joke arguments, fluff, poorly described process of baking, comedy, competitive spouses

author’s note: thank you all for being patient with me while my updates have been lacking.

you can find the rest of my masterlist here!

You and Steve had a strong relationship.

Your marriage was built on a foundation of mutual respect, strong communication, and the purest, most genuine form of love. Frankly, you were a marriage counselor’s wet dream. 

But just once a year, you two got ugly. 

You see, both you and Steve found yourselves to be competitive people. Typically, your competitive natures were able to be put into use in constructive ways. As a pair, you dominated team game night, and kicked ass on every mission you found yourselves working on. But, once the week of Morgan’s birthday rolled around, everything changed. 

For some reason, Tony thought it was a great idea for everyone who wanted to participate, to participate in an annual baking contest to make the best cake, and who were you to decline? 

It happened to be right up you and Steve’s alley; your first date was a dinner you’d cooked together at his place, one of your favorite de-stressing habits was working together to bake bread, and of course, you’d annually created and donated hundreds of cupcakes to children in the hospital together as a unit. Logically, it would make sense for you two to work together on the competition, but every year without fail, you two split due to ‘creative differences’.

This split was to the rest of your team’s pleasure, ultimately getting to indulge in two amazing cakes by the end of the week, and having a whole week to watch you bicker like children. Nat liked to say that it was humanizing to see that your relationship wasn’t all flowers and rainbows. 

For the past four years, the title of “Baker of the Year” had alternated between you and Steve. After the first year of the competition— despite Morgan being an extremely young child— your teammates saw just how ‘all out’ you two went, and decided for their own safety to not participate again. It was always some lame excuse for them, like their fridge broke or they couldn’t find any icing at the store at all. But deep down you knew that the team did not want to get caught in the crossfire of the Y/N/Steve brawl. 

This year was no different. You stalked behind Steve at your local Whole Foods, tilting your floppy hat down as you grabbed a gallon of milk from the refrigerator. Steve tossed a few boxes of butter into your cart— some for you and some for him— and you peered over at him.

“What’re you making this year, Rogers?” you questioned.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Rogers,” he hummed, setting a carton of heavy whipping cream into the basket. 

“Yeah, I would like to know. Maybe that’s why I asked,” you sped up your pace a bit to catch up to Steve. 

“You’ll find out exactly what it is when Morgan declares my cake the winner,” he shrugged. 

“Mhm. Very likely,” you said dryly, finding a large carton of eggs and gently setting it in the top section of your cart. “I admire your wishful thinking, though. Not only is my cake gonna taste amazing, it’s gonna look super cute too.”

“Shouldn’t you have a cake that looks and tastes good regardless?” Steve asked with a quirked brow as you strolled into the produce section. 

You stood by his side patiently as he inspected apples and tried to come up with a quippy response, but you were drawing a blank. “I mean, it’s gonna look really good. I ordered some things off of Amazon. It’s gonna be great.”

“I don’t know why, but buying extra props online doesn’t exactly sound fair,” he set the bag gently down in the cart. 

“Oh sweetheart,” you chuckled, “all is fair in love and war. Now let’s get out so we can start baking!”

——

When you arrived at the compound—where Tony insisted you cook, because of the good facilities and it’s closer to my place than your apartment! and definitely not because he wanted to have FRIDAY record you two fighting like dogs— you two got straight to work, setting aside your ingredients so that you wouldn’t mix them up with Steve’s. As you set your individual ovens to their proper temperatures, you stood back and took one final glance at your husband. 

“Let the games begin,” you said, grabbing the biggest bowl you could find from the cupboard. 

It was mostly quiet in the kitchen as you worked, with only the occasional joke being made or a ‘Behind you’. But it was only a matter of time before playful banter devolved into less playful taunting.

You were leaning over your stand mixer when Steve threw the first stone, idly standing by the stove while he watched his apples soften in a pan. 

“You sure that’s not box mix, babe?” he asked, sauntering over to the countertop where you were working and dipping a finger into the batter.

“Steve!” you slapped his hand away, and he licked his finger with a pensive look on his face. 

“Definitely boxed. Does Betty Crocker know you’re calling her work yours?” he locked eyes with you and smirked smugly. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment, but you’re being annoying. Get away from my station,” you bumped him lightly with your hip, and Steve took the message with a chuckle. “I hope you get salmonella,” you told him as he walked off. 

Not too long later while you greased your pan, Steve came up behind you and grabbed your hips, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin out of reflex. 

“Jesus, Steve! What are you doing?” you gasped, turning around and gently slapping a peck. 

“Just letting you know that my cake is in the oven…” he nuzzled your neck, “please, remind me where yours is again?” 

“Ha ha, very funny, Captain Obvious. I had no idea,” you reached for the batter that was still sitting in the mixing bowl on the stand. “This is your cue to leave, you horny bitch. You may be done, but I am not.”

If you saw Steve, you suspected he’d be pouting— or at least pretending to pout— but you refused to subject yourself to that. Hands released your hips, and there was suddenly an absence behind you. 

Once your cake was in the oven and your icing was going to be whipped for quite some time, you decided to go bother Steve, sitting on top of his countertop while he stood across from you and scrolled on his phone. 

“Is the loser doing the dishes?” you asked, swinging your legs. 

“Mhm,” he hummed before looking up at you. 

“Okay, cool. If that’s the case, then I think I’m gonna go paint my nails. Or maybe I’ll accidentally get an open wound or two,” you said with a smirk. 

“Very likely,” Steve chuckled, setting his phone down and dramatically taking a whiff of the air. “Do you smell that?”

“What, the scent of victory?” you teased. 

“No, I think your cake is burning. Or maybe it just.. naturally smells like that,” you rolled your eyes at his faux concern. 

“Ooh, you got me,” you couldn’t help but giggle. It felt weird to be poorly trash talking your husband in the manner that you were. “With all the shit-talking you’re doing, you better have the best cake I’ve ever tasted in my life.”

“I can’t believe you’re doubting my baking abilities!” 

At that moment, Sam peeked into the kitchen, made eye contact with Steve, then promptly turned away. You two howled with laughter for a moment before you received a text telling you how good the kitchen smelled. 

By the time your cakes were out and decorated, FRIDAY had alerted you that Morgan’s party was starting in just a few minutes. You stared proudly at your devil’s food cake, quite accurately decorated like a beehive. It was probably your best work yet. If Mary Berry were in the kitchen with you, she would be proud. 

You stood with your hands on your hips and admired both of the beautiful cakes in front of you, thinking of the hard work you’d put into making the delicious treats. “That looks like shit, Steve. Maybe you should stick to showing off the cake that’s attached to your body,” you teased. You’d be lying if you said your mouth wasn’t salivating at the sight of that upside-down cake. 

—-

You sat with an almost smug face at a wooden picnic table next to Steve while Morgan examined the three cakes in front of her: Steve’s apple upside-down cake, your devil’s food cake, and what looked like a last minute thrown together Funfetti cake from Scott.

She decided to try your cake first, directing Pepper to cut her a slice while your team members watched in excited anticipation. You had to admit, it looked pretty amazing. 

She used a fork to get a nice big bite, and hummed as she chewed. Things were looking promising for you. You glanced over at Steve to give him a smirk as Morgan clearly enjoyed your cake. At the sight of you, a small smile quirked on his own face. 

Morgan simply nodded, keeping a neutral poker face, then received a slice of the upside-down cake. You really couldn’t read her reaction, but unless you were losing it, it seemed like she felt the same way about Steve’s as she felt about yours. A simple hum and a nod was all you two received. Steve gave your foot a light tap under the table, and you shook your head at him.

Finally, Morgan grabbed a slice of Scott’s sloppily put together cake that appeared to be straight out of the box. Morgan grinned as she chewed, then went in for another forkful. And another. 

Oh no.

There was a collective tension in the yard from your teammates as they all looked back at both of you in shock. The next words that were about to come out of Morgan’s mouth would surely rock your world. 

“Mm, this one is the best!” she cheered, “whoever made this is a winner winner chicken dinner.”

Scott stood up at his table, and everyone in the backyard clapped, including a hesitant applause from you and Steve. What an absolute wild card. 

You gave each other curious looks; your brows creased, and his raised with surprise. Both at a loss for words for just a moment, you extended your hand before bursting out into laughter, “Good game.”

Steve shook your hand vigorously as he laughed right along with you, “Good game indeed. Now, I’d love to try some of your cake. It looks fucking delicious.”

“Really? Just a few hours ago, you were telling me just how bad it looked,” you teased, standing up and taking his hand as you walked over to the table where Morgan was poorly slicing your cakes.

After receiving lopsided slices, you made your way back to your picnic table and dug right into your cakes. With just one bite, you both were making muffled moans. 

“Christ, Steve. What did you put in this?” you gasped, immediately going in for another bite. 

“Are you kidding? This is like, better than sex.”

“I’ll remember you said that,” you said as you chewed. 

There was a silence between you two for a few minutes as you chewed and appreciated the talent of one another. 

“So will you be doing the dishes, or will I?” you asked between forkfuls of Steve’s cake. 

He paused to take another bite of your cake, humming in satisfaction as he did so. “Well you know what they always say,” Steve began before away some yellow icing from his lips. “Teamwork makes the dream work. I’ll do your dishes, and you can do mine.”

“Mm, sounds good,” you nodded. “I still can’t believe Scott beat us. There had to have been some sort of bribery going on.”

“Oh absolutely. We’re not just being sore losers on this either,” Steve agreed. 

“When have we ever been known to be sore losers?” you teased. “I guess we’ll just have to up our game next time.”

“No idea how you’re going to do that.”

“You flatter me, Steve,” you giggled. “Well, I guess this is the end for now. ‘Till next year?”

“‘Till next year. But we should probably work on our recipes so we don’t get bested by cake from a box again.”

[incarnateirony]

how authentic do you think this clip is ? . I don’t think anyone can record m&g like this and post it online on twitter

https://twitter.com/originaldragyn/status/1458203468066328583?s=21

First of all, the anonymous source is Kelios, for one.

For two... LMAO congrats motherfuckers we literally explained this shit to you when it happened before they went on hysterical conspiracy theories about jensen screwing jared over, when jared, as someone in the industry, should know god damn and well how it works, but still chose to throw the temper tantrum to make a scene of it and whine about Sam not being centered in it, thus sending the flying monkeys to go drag his ex coworkers projects. Good job.

So either Jared is 1. A complete fucking moron about how this all works after decades in the business or 2. consciously a manipulative asshole, take your pick.

Everything else is sucking up to his paying audience, who seems to forget that they're performers talking to a paying audience that purchase them based off of how they're marketed, hashtag bros hashtag.

The thing is, people knew. Hell, *fans* knew. But the fans that knew before Jared did weren't spraying it all over social media because, again, apparently they know how to behave better than Jared Fucking Padalecki? Know how it works better? Again, take your goddamn pick.

They're giving the grand revelation of shit we were explaining to them over and over at the end of June while they called everyone else r*tards for saying exactly that, because these people's brains are so disassociated from how the world fundamentally works, and now they're like GASP. It's EXACTLY WHAT THE R*TARDED HELLERS WERE SAYING!! LOOK AT US BEING IN THE KNOW AND PRETENDING WE DIDN'T HAVE SCREAMING HYSTERICAL FITS ABOUT THIS WHILE MOCKING THE PEOPLE WHO EXPLAINED THIS, IGNORE THAT.

PfffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

But yes and as-always, these reality denialists, after all of that, they're going to consider themselves the ones with the authentic takeaway and yet again not understanding how the industry works and why they as paying customers for brocontent were provided brocontent. Maybe in a few years they'll understand what "marketing" is. IDK. We can only hope.

Congrats all you guys achieved was being another black mark on jpeg's career, impact reaching between major book publishers and Amazon. Now CW sees Walker flopping and is implying trying to--what, go back to SPN after his attempt to go solo didn't work? Because he can't function without Jensen. He doesn't have draw without Jensen. But nah man, fuck that, Jensen gets the reboot, Jensen produces the reboot, hopefully Harold doesn't cry a whole river to both Jensen and WB to get his Sam role hackjobbed forward in importance when Mary has ALWAYS been Dean's story (and Sam himself repeatedly through the show expressed how much she WASN'T his). Like I swear to god if padaleski's temper tantrums corrupt a perfectly good product because he can't stand to only have a few cameos, and he bitches and moans and WB forcesJensen and Robbie's hand, I will genuinely lose my shit.

[mldrgrl]

How Stella Got Her Groove Back

by: mldrgrl Rating: PG-13 Summary: Just a little something to celebrate spring...and Stella’s birthday!

They left Connecticut in September, with a fair amount of reluctance to go, but they needed to return to the city.  Becca had already gone and though both Karen and Fish insisted they were welcome to stay longer, stay forever if they had to, at a certain point, Hank and Stella had just been missing their loft and their life in New York too much.  Of course, they knew that what they were returning to was not the life they were accustomed to, but they would have to learn to adapt to the new normal.

Winter was long and brutal.  They did spend two weeks over Christmas and New Years back in Connecticut again and that was the first time they’d seen Becca since July, and the last time they would see her until spring.  Karen had tried to coerce them all to stay again and Hank and Stella nearly gave in.  If not for the fact that Stella left a project behind she’d been working on for her classes and if Hank had brought the pages he’d been working on for his new novel, they just might have done it.

When they got back to New York, and in a cabin fever-induced moment of weakness, they hired a landscape architect to design their rooftop terrace and though the noise of construction aggravated the hell out of both of them, they were both pleased with the results.  They now had an artificial lawn of soft green turf, an outdoor patio daybed in the shape of a cube with canvas shades on all four sides, a wet bar, strategically placed heating lamps, and a wood burning fire pit.  Unbeknownst to them, when Fish had heard their plans, he’d called the company they hired, ordered them a charcoal grill, and told the contractor to keep it a surprise.  They were very surprised by the barbeque that was suddenly part of the design, but it looked nice, even if it wouldn’t get any use.

Finding ways to fill the time with nowhere to go and no one to see was extremely difficult.  Neither of them were very much into television or movies.  The terrace, as welcome as it was, wasn’t finished until the end of February.  Stella had the classes she was teaching and the child psychology classes she was enrolled in to keep her fairly busy during the days, but Hank could only write for so many hours at a time and he found that he actually missed helping Fish with the guitar lessons.  He grumbled to Stella that ‘that damn Trout’ bewitched him somehow and then begrudgingly called him up and asked if he could still help out remotely.  Fish was delighted by the request and sent him an iPad and a teaching schedule.  

The close quarters had caused a few squabbles, though nothing major.  They took a few online cooking classes together which produced some mediocre meals and a testy exchange on the appropriate amount that constituted a ‘pinch of salt.’  Beyond that, they managed not to take out any frustrations on each other.

It was April 1st when Stella wandered from the bathroom to the bedroom in her t-shirt and sweatpants, rubbing lotion into her hands and arms.  Hank was in bed, perhaps naked, or perhaps wearing jockey shorts, she couldn’t be sure.  He had his guitar across his lap and his head back so that he gazed at the ceiling while he plucked lightly at the strings.

“Hank,” she said, leaning into the foot of the bed with slightly bended knees.

“Do you think ‘oral’ actually rhymes with ‘clorital’ or is it cheating?” he replied.

“You know that next week is my birthday.”

Hank splayed his hand out on the guitar and looked at her.  “Is this a trick question?”

“Not at all.”

“So, if I say ‘yes, of course, your birthday is April 7th and I already know I’m not to mention it to anyone,’ is that the wrong answer because I’m not supposed to acknowledge it in the first place?”

“I am aware that in the past I have requested that my birthday be treated as any other day.”

“Mmhm.”

“I’ve been thinking that perhaps...I might like to celebrate this year after all.”

“Oh, I get it.  April fools.  You could’ve just put plastic wrap on the toilet or secretly replaced my regular coffee with Folgers.”

“I’m serious.”

“Ah, so the one year it’s impossible to throw a party, you want to have a party?”

“God, no.  Parties are awful.”

“Well, what then?”

“Brunch?  With Becca?  This weekend, or the next, perhaps.  There are more places opening up now.  We could-”

“Absolutely, Sherlock.  Whatever the suggestion, I am all in.”  He pushed his guitar aside and she was mildly disappointed to discover that he was in his jockey shorts after all and not naked. He scooted forward to the end of the bed and wrapped his arms around her hips.

“A walk in the park, maybe?”

“Not sure if my legs remember what walking is at this point, so it’ll be good to remind them.”  He moved his hands down to the backs of her thighs and gave them a squeeze and then cupped her ass.  “Why the sudden change of heart, Sherlock?”

“I’ve just been thinking lately that it’s perfectly acceptable to want to celebrate being alive.  After the year we’ve had.”

“I agree, but as long as I get to have my breakfast in bed in bed that day, I’ll be happy.”

“It’s my birthday, I’m not bringing you breakfast in bed.”

“Oh, honey, you are the breakfast,” he growled, wrapping his arms around her again and pulling her into him as he fell back onto the bed.

*****

The Saturday before her birthday was Easter weekend.  There was no rain in the forecast and Becca was available, so it was perfect.  They took a Lyft to the upper west side and met her at a French bistro that had outdoor seating.  Stella could tell right away that something was bothering Becca, that she was putting on a false front of cheerfulness, which was very unlike her, but if she did know her stepdaughter, she knew the girl could not keep up pretenses for long.

They ordered and waited for their food over bottomless mimosas and miniature ham and cheese croissants served as an appetizer.  It wasn’t cold, but a cool breeze would drift by every so often and Stella was glad she had left her hair down so that her ears were covered.  She wished she’d been a bit more practical though and worn pants.  She’d just felt like dressing up and at the last minute, put on an olive-colored dress with small printed white flowers on it, but at least it was long-sleeved and she had a white sweater.  Becca and Hank were like twins in their matching leather jackets and dark jeans.

“Are you working on anything?” Becca asked Hank.

“Almost finished,” he answered.

“Oh.  What’s it about?”

“A couple that’s been married for fifteen years, but they’re on the brink of the divorce when the pandemic hits and then they go from spending almost no time together to all of their time together and it’s disastrous at first, but then they end up learning a lot about each other.”

“So, they save their marriage?”

“No, they end up getting divorced anyway.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“It’s fiction, sweetheart.”

“People like happy endings.”

“People are stupid.  I didn’t say it didn’t have a happy ending though.  Are you working on anything, Daughter?”

Becca sighed and picked at her nails.  Stella put a hand on Hank’s knee under the table.

“Is something bothering you, Darling?” Stella asked.

“No.  Yeah.  No.  I don’t wanna ruin your birthday or anything when it’s the first birthday we’ve ever celebrated together.”

Stella gave Becca a brief smile.  “I don’t know if your father has told you why I’ve always been rather reluctant to celebrate my birthday.”

Becca shook her head.  Hank stretched his arm out behind Stella’s chair and put his hand on her back.  She gave his knee a squeeze of appreciation.

“My father passed away on my fourteenth birthday,” Stella said.  “So, Darling, you have a high bar to overcome if you think being in a low mood will ruin my birthday.”

“That sucks about your dad, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.”  Stella looked to Hank for a moment and then back to Becca.  “I’ve spent many years trying to ignore the date as though if I didn’t acknowledge it, it’s like it had never happened.  I don’t think I really understood until quite recently that one is capable of being sad and grateful at the same time.  And that life should be celebrated.  Especially now.”

“I guess I’m just...when we were up at Mom’s house, everything was so easy and nice and I had a really hard time writing.  That’s why I wanted to leave.  It was way too peaceful.”

“You know if I had a dollar for every time Becca claimed my shit was fucking her up, I’d be richer than that fucking Amazon guy, and now it sounds like she wants to file a grievance that we’re not fucking her up enough.”

“Am not.”  Becca rolled her eyes.

“Don’t listen to him,” Stella said.  “He’s been so mired with boredom lately he has regular calls with Fish.”

“No!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Hank protested, putting his hands up in defense.  “There was and will only be one bromance in my life and that’s with one Mr. Charles Runkle, that follically challenged motherfucker.  No better pairing existed except for maybe Bert and Ernie, or Sid and Nancy.”

“I think we should let Becca continue with what she was trying to say.”

“Thank you.”  Becca put her hand up as though she was blocking Hank from her view and he reached over and slapped her palm away.  “As I was saying, I left because I thought the serenity was blocking me in some way, but since I’ve been back, it’s like the opposite.  It felt so apocalyptic at first and desperate.  It was like impossible to sit down and put words together when there were so many shitty things happening outside.  What if...what if the next thing I finish, people will be like oh, she was just sitting inside writing while everyone else was dying?”

“There will always be shitty things happening outside,” Hank said.  

“Great advice, Dad.”

“I don’t mean to bitchslap you with reality, but the world being shitty isn’t a reason to give up.”

“I’m not giving up.”

“Good, because you are way more fucking talented than I could ever even hope to be.”

“I just don’t know if it matters.  If anyone should care.”

“Why should you concern yourself with that?”

Becca glared at Hank, clearly annoyed with the answer.

“I know you think I’m being facetious,” Hank said, quickly.  “But, I’m not.  If all anyone wanted to read was about things that ‘mattered’ that 50 Shades of Hot Garbage would never have sold a single copy.  You don’t know why people read what you write.  Maybe they want to escape the shitty things happening in the world.  Maybe they want to laugh or cry or be turned on.  Maybe they just need something to pass the time.”

“Five minutes ago you just said people were stupid for wanting happy endings, now you’re saying I should just give them garbage, if that’s what they want.”

“Yeah, I’m a fucking hypocrite, what else is new, but I just want you to be happy with what you’re doing.  You want me to buy you a new laptop?”

“I’m not twelve anymore.  You can’t just buy my happiness.”

“Worth a shot.”

“Becca,” Stella finally interjected.  “I think it’s obvious by now that your father may possibly be the world’s worst motivational speaker.”

“Or the world’s best unmotivational speaker,” Hank said.  “You see what I did there?  I turned a negative into a positive.”

Both Stella and Becca ignored the comment.

“I think I may understand what he’s trying to say though,” Stella said.  “I’m not a creator, but I’ve been a consumer.  When I was reading for pleasure, I certainly wasn’t reaching for mystery novels.  And I think that...popularity and quality are two different things.  Certainly, one would hope for both, but it isn’t always the case.  I know you and I know that quality is important to you, so perhaps you should only focus on if what you’re working on is the best that it can be and not on whether or not it matters.”

“Can I add something to that?” Hank asked.

“Not if you plan on fucking up everything Stella just said,” Becca answered.

“I’ve done at least a dozen online events this year and at every single one, someone has asked me when the next Rebecca Moody novel is going to be released or they want to know what you’re working on.  I’m not even entirely sure all of them are there to hear my Q&A or if they just showed up because they know I’m your dad and they think you might make a guest appearance.  And if one person takes umbrage with you for creating something during a time of utter hell, fuck them.”

“Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable,” Stella quoted.

“That sounds so much hotter when you say it than George Bernard Shaw,” Hank replied, rubbing his hand across Stella’s upper back.

“Okay, I don’t want to spend this day being miserable,” Becca said, shaking her head and shoulders like she was trying to rid herself of negativity.  “Thank you, Stella.”

“You’re welcome, darling girl.”

“Hey, what about me?” Hank asked.

“There is this jacket I saw online that I want,” Becca answered, cheekily raising one of her eyebrows and tilting her head.

“I’ll text you my credit card number later.”

“Thank you, Father.”

*****

Brunch was followed by a stroll in Central Park and it seemed that at least half of the city had the same idea.  It was interesting being in a place so crowded and yet also so open.  The decent weather and the cherry blossoms in full bloom probably had something to do with it.  What also would have felt strange a year ago, seeing everyone wearing face masks and wearing them as well, was oddly comforting.  When Stella had put hers on that morning before they walked out the door, Hank told her she looked like a sexy brain surgeon or cardiologist, whichever one was smarter or made more money.

When they came upon Bethesda Fountain, there was a small band playing salsa music and a few couples dancing.  Hank tried to imitate the steps and then grabbed Becca’s hand and spun her around under his arm.  She laughed and tried to break free of him, but he pulled her back in and tried to get her to dance.

“Da-ad,” Becca protested.

“Dance with me, Daughter.”

“I don’t dance.”

“You’re no fun.”  Hank let go of Becca’s hand and then grabbed Stella’s.

“Oh, no,” she said.

“Come on, Sherlock.  I know you’ve probably got some moves I’ve never seen.”

“I assure you that’s not true,” she answered, letting him spin her away though and then laughed as he gyrated his hips dramatically as he stepped back towards her.  “Whatever it is that you’re doing does not resemble the salsa in any way.”

“Let me see you do better.”

Stella looked past Hank to the other dancers and mimicked the forward and back steps.  She put a hand on Hank’s chest to keep him at arm’s length and prevent their knees from colliding as he tried to fall into the same step with her, moving forward when she stepped back, and back when she stepped forward.  What he lacked in grace, he made up for with enthusiasm.  As soon as they fell into sync, he grabbed her hand and lifted her other arm in a more formal dance frame like the other dancers had.

What followed was probably the worst and most amateurish version of a salsa that had ever been danced, but Stella laughed so hard it brought tears to her eyes.  When the music ended, Hank stopped and pulled Stella’s face mask down under her chin before lowering his own and then kissing her through both of their laughter.

The dancing couples broke apart and drifted back into the crowd.  Becca went over and dropped some money into the cup on the ground in front of the band and thanked them for playing.  Stella took Hank’s hand and then Becca linked her arm with Stella’s as they continued on.

Later that night, when Stella came out of the bathroom as she rubbed lotion into her hands and arms, she stopped at the foot of the bed and watched Hank read over the latest pages of his novel.  When she was finished, she climbed onto the bed and walked over to Hank on her knees until she was straddling his lap.  He threw his pages down, took his reading glasses off, and pulled her close with his hands on her ass.

“Thank you,” Stella said, as Hank kissed the side of her neck.

“For what?”

“This truly was the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

“Your birthday’s not until Wednesday.”

“Perhaps next year we’ll even be able to invite Karen and Fish to town.”

“We’ll make The Trout christen that barbeque he forced on us.”

“It does look nice though.”

“It really does.  You want your present now, or should I wait until Wednesday?”

“I might be interested in a preview,” she said, sliding her hand down his chest and then into his shorts.  “A little peak at the package ahead of time.”

“You just assumed I was talking about fucking when I said I had something for you?”

“Weren’t you?”

Hank paused and then grinned.  “Yeah, I was.”

The End

[chernobog13]

TEEN TITANS

The Teen Titans, like the Justice League of America, were “guest stars” on The Superman/Aquaman Hour of Adventure (1967) and had three cartoons.  

The Teen Titans had a secret mountain headquarters in the cartoons

Unlike the JLA members, none of the Teen Titans had their own solo cartoons.  However, Kid Flash co-starred in two of The Flash’s three cartoons.  Aqualad also appeared in all 36 episodes of Aquaman’s cartoon, and since Aquaman was kept out of the JLA cartoons (except for the introduction) it can be argued that Aqualad had more animated appearances than his mentor (at least until Super Friends). 

The interior of Titans HQ looked like a set from Star Trek

The same can be said for Speedy and Wonder Girl (although she wasn’t really a sidekick), as they appeared on television long before their mentors: Wonder Woman would make her first appearance as a guest star on The Brady Kids cartoon in December, 1972, 10 months before Super Friends premiered; Green Arrow would not make his first appearance until he guest starred in one episode during the first season of Super Friends - which was also his one and only appearance on the show.

This is a neat concept for a communications panel, but with only four members one of those screens is always going to be blank

Ironically, Filmation had plans to create animated adventures for both Wonder Woman (she was supposed to get her own series) and Green Arrow in 1968.  Those plans were tossed out when CBS acquired the animation rights to Batman that year; the network ordered Filmation to focus only on making Batman cartoons at that point.

(As mentioned above, Filmation did manage to get their version of Wonder Woman on the screen eventually in The Brady Kids cartoon.  Superman also guest starred in one of the episodes, which includes an unfortunate scene of Superman walking down the street carrying a Clark Kent ventriloquist dummy on his arm in order to protect his secret identity; yes, it was as stupid as it sounds.)

Wonder Girl has the mutant ability of having her left leg grow out of her right shin

The Teen Titans had a different membership in the cartoons than they did in their comics.  Robin, one of the original Titans along with Kid Flash and Aqualad, was left out of the cartoons because CBS (the network airing The Superman/Aquaman Hour of Adventure) and Filmation mistakenly thought the character, along with Batman, was unavailable due to the live-action Batman show on ABC. As I stated above. it wasn’t until the next year that CBS realized that the animation rights to Batman were still available and snatched them up.

The Teen Titans had their own specially designed helicopter for those members who couldn’t fly or swim

Speedy was not a member of the Teen Titans in the comics, only an occasional guest-star.  He wouldn’t formally join the team until 1969, in the same issue that Aqualad left.  However, DC comic books were not exactly overflowing with teen sidekicks at the time, so he was chosen for the cartoons to replace Robin.

Anyone who watched the Aquaman cartoons recognized this shot, which was used at least once every episode

The Teen Titans episodes, like all the other “guest star” cartoons, only had 6-7 minutes to tell their story.  Basically there was the quick set-up, the conflict that took up the bulk of the episode, and a very quick resolution.  There was no room for character development or explanations as to who these kids were; you just had to go with it.

The first televised appearance of “bullets and bracelets” (or “laser beams and bracelets” in this case)

Most mysterious, at least to me, was Wonder Girl.  While she is referred to as an Amazon at least once, and someone remarks that her “Amazonian wristbands are invulnerable,” there’s isn’t  any other information given about her.  The cartoons establish that she can fly, is the strongest of the team, has indestructible bracelets, and uses a lasso.

At this point in my young life I had neither seen nor read a Wonder Woman comic.  However, at the time that probably wouldn’t have helped.  Wonder Girl, as originally established, was a young Wonder Woman having adventures on Paradise Island, as relayed in back-up stories in Wonder Woman’s book.

The Wonder Girl who appeared in the Teen Titans comic books could not be the same character because she was existing contemporaneously with her older self.  Additionally, she did not have a name (secret identity or otherwise), a background, or an origin in the comics.  Her Donna Troy identity was not established until 1969, so even in the comics she was a cypher.

No one knew much about Wonder Girl, but apparently she is vulnerable to monster halitosis

To make the Teen Titans sound cooler than their JLA counterparts, the cartoons are chock full of them calling each other “hip” nicknames: Twinkletoes, Gill Head, Davey Jones, Flasheroo, Fleet Feet, Eagle Eye, Speedy-o, Arrow Head. Wonder Girl unfortunately, is repeatedly called Wonder Doll, Wonder Chick, or just plain Chick.  I know many, if not all of these were lifted straight from the comics, but they are (and were back then, too) groan inducing.

So...much...RED!   And why is Wonder Girl looking at Aqualad’s butt?

Another quibble, although not as cringe-worthy, is the overall color scheme of the team.  There’s just too much red!  Although this could have been alleviated if Filmation had not mysteriously decided to reverse Kid Flash’s color scheme.

And if you look closer, you’ll realize that Aqualad and Wonder Girl are wearing the same onesie.

I’m glad Filmation was able to produce cartoons featuring two of the superhero teams from DC Comics.  Even as crude and dated as they are, I enjoy them as now as much as I did as a kid.  Just imagine if Filmation had been able to bring The Doom Patrol, The Metal Men, and The Blackhawks to television like they planned!