#boy howdy they sure are mediocre

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Day 259, Bereft got some final tweaks and a full ink job :D

Up next: Redoing Fierce, Curious, and Disgusted

[carriagelamp]

Art of Aardman

I found myself a cheap copy of the Shaun the Sheep movie, so I was rewatching a bunch of Aardman films earlier this month and decided to hunt down some books too. For anyone that doesn’t know, Aardman is a British stop-motion studio that does fantastic work like Wallace and Gromit, Shaun the Sheep, Chicken Run, Early Man… tons of cool stuff. They’re always quirky and funny and warm-hearted. This was just a very nice art book for anyone that’s a fan of Aardman stop motion and wants to see a bit extra; it shows some cool concept art and blows up the neat details in Aardman work, especially in their intricate stuff like The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!

Asterix and the Picts (Asterix and the Chariot Race, and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion)

I decided to try a couple of the new Asterix comics that were done by the new team, just to see if they stand up to the old ones (that and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion cause I’d never read that one before). They were pretty decent! Asterix and the Picts was my favourite of the two though I wouldn’t say either are going to contest for my favourite Asterix comic... but still! The art looks good and the stories felt like what I would expect, they made for a pleasant couple evenings of reading especially since it’s been so long since I’ve read a new Asterix comic. If you’ve never read Asterix it’s one of the biggest name French comic series in North America, as far as I know and very worth the read. It’s about a single Gaulish village that’s holding out against the invading Romans through sheer force of will, slapstick hijinks, and a magical super-strength potion brewed by their druid. Lots of fantastic visuals and cute wordplay, even in the English translations.

Bear

I found out about this bastion of Canadian literature via tumblr post that was losing its collective mind over the fact that some bizarre bear-based erotica novella somehow won the most prestigious literary prize available in Canada. Since I too found this hilarious and unspeakably bizarre I had to give it a read, obviously. And yes, the flat surface level summary is... a librarian moves out into rural Ontario and falls in love with a literal for-real not-supernatural-not-a-joke bear. And I have to say… it is actually worthy of an award, which I was not expecting given that I was there for a laugh. It has beautiful writing, and the subtextual story is pretty interesting… it kind of makes me think of The Haunting of Hill House actually in terms of themes. (Womanhood, personhood, independence, autonomy partially achieved through escaping the male gaze by claiming non-human lovers... listen if I were still in university I would right a paper comparing the two novels).

I dunno man, it’s fucking weird. Actually a well-written book, but sure is about a woman falling in love with a literal bear. Give it a read if you want something bonkers but like… high-brow bonkers.

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites

Best book I have read in like… a while. A long while. I am not a fast reader, and I consumed 90% of this book over a weekend. It’s not at all like Terry Pratchett, but at the same time it scratched an itch for me that I haven’t had satisfied since Pratchett’s death. A very clever, hilariously funny poly romance between a disabled werewolf, an anxious vampire lord, and an incredibly powerful woman, with heaps of social satire, political commentary, and sinister undertones. The whole thing reads a bit like fanfiction and I say that in the most flattering way possible -- it is so easy to jump right in and be immediately taken over by the characters and the world and the plot, you never feel like you’re fighting to engage even though the world-building is fascinating and expansive. It welcomes you in right away, it was the book equivalent of a quilt and a hug which is something I sorely needed with all this pandemic bullshit. If you read any of the books on this list, go read that one while I sit here in pain waiting for the sequel.

Kid Paddle

I watched the cartoon of Kid Paddle as a kid and was thinking about it recently, so I decided to hunt down some of the original comics online. They’re fun and weird, with a cute art style and fantastic monsters designs. (My favourites are always about Kid either daydreaming or playing games that involve Midam’s weird warty troll creatures. It’s like a cross between Calvin and Hobbes and Foxtrot with the fun sort of quirks that I love in Belgian comics. Unfortunately, unlike Asterix, I’ve only come across these ones in French, but if you can read French it’s totally worth popping over to The Internet Archive and reading the ones they have available.

The Last Firehawk: The Golden Temple

The lastest Firehawk book. Despite being written for quite young readers, I did enjoy the early books in this series quite a bit. They’re about a young owl and squirrel who found an egg for a magical species that was believed to be extinct. With the newly hatched firehawk, the three of them head off on a mission to find an ancient firehawk magic that could save the entire forest. Very basic adventure story but a good intro to the tropes for children. Unfortunately the quality really feels like it drops with each subsequent book; this will probably be the last one I bother reading.

Lumberjanes: The Moon Is Up

I honestly think I enjoy these Lumberjanes novels even more than the comics just because it really gives time to delve into each story and examine how the camper are really thinking and feeling about everything. (Also I’m always weak for novelizations of anything.) The Moon Is Up is a book that focuses more on Jo, and takes place during the camp’s much anticipated Galaxy Wars, a competition between cabins that goes over several days. While the campers prepare for these challenges though, they also run into a strange little creature with a penchant for cheese and theft. Roanoke cabin needs to keep ahead in Galaxy Wars and somehow deal with the fearsome Moon Pirates that a closing in...

Lumberjanes v4 (Out Of Time)

One of the Lumberjanes comics, a cool, girl-focused, queer comic series. Honestly, this is just a fun series that I never got as into as I should have. My advice is honestly to skip book one because it gets better as it continues, and I’ve really been enjoying the later books now that I’ve given it another go. It follows five campers at Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady Types (Jo, April, Molly, Mal, and Ripley) as they handle all sorts of challenges, from friendship to crushes, camp activities to supernatural horrors, getting badges to not being brutally killed. Great if you liked the vibe of Gravity Falls but want it to be queer-er.

Mooncakes

Another queer graphic novel, but unfortunately not a very good one. It really looked appealing and I had high hopes, but the book itself really didn’t hold up… I actually couldn’t even finish it, the plot was just too… non-existent. The art is fairly mediocre once you actually look at it, especially backgrounds, and it feels very… placid. Not much conflict or excitement or even a very compelling reason to keep reading. If you just want a soft queer supernatural you may get more mileage out of it than me, but it didn’t really do it for me. There’s better queer graphic novels out there.

New Boy In Town

One of the worst books I have ever read. My girlfriend had ordered a very different book online but through a frankly stupendous error was sent this 1980s pulp romance instead. Absolutely nauseating on levels I couldn’t even begin to enumerate here. Naturally we read the whole thing out loud. Probably took us 10 times longer to finish than it warranted because I had to stop every two sentences to lose my mind. If you like bad decisions, baffling hetero courting rituals, built-in cultural Christianity without actually calling it that, and gold panning then boy howdy is this the book for you.

(seriously, you better have patience for gold-panning if you attempt this one, because I sure learn that I don’t)

Piggies

This was a picture book I enjoyed as a kid and had a reason to reread recently. Honestly it’s just very cute and simple, and the art is completely mesmerizing. Wonderful if you know a young child that would enjoy a simple goofy boardbook.

Shaun the Sheep: Tales From Mossy Bottom

Related to my Aardman fascination earlier this month. I tried reading a varieties of Shaun the Sheep books — most of which are mediocre at best — but the Tales From Mossy Bottom Farm series is genuinely good. Just chapter books, of course, but the illustrations match the series’ concept art and each story feels like it could have jumped directly out of an episode. They’re just cute and feel-good! Kinda like Footrot Flats but more for kids, and from the sheep’s perspective moreso than the dog’s.

[queer-as-in-fuck-12]

Average SMP

Me: drop out of school You: what? Me: Join my SMP (Link in reblogs)

Heya gamers, you ever wanted to join an SMP, but were worried you weren’t cool enough to do so? Well boy howdy do i have great news for you! Welcome to the Average SMP where standards and expectations are as low as they get!

There is no need for skill or talent in the Average SMP, noobs are welcomed and embraced! This is the perfect server for anyone who is just about average at Minecraft. 

Bad at pvp but okay at making houses? Bad at making houses but okay at making potions? Have no idea how redstone works but can manage a farm? This is the place for you! ho hop on down to the Average SMP! 

Mediocre builds, mediocre lore, and even mediocre roleplay are all things you will find here! We aren’t fantastic, but hey, we don't suck either! We’re average!

This is a vanilla crossplay SMP!

You must be 16 or older to join 

We have a discord! I’d say it's not too shabby, one might even call it average

Character backstories are welcome but not required! 

This will involve some roleplaying so be expecting that! There is no overall it will be mostly improv. If you wish to plan something ahead though, we can surely do that!

This world is on ‘normal’ difficulty setting. 

This smp is something i live stream often, if you are not comfortable on camera this likely isn't for you

That’s all for now, gamers, I’ll catch you later!

[official-alan-dabiri]

First and foremost, we have some exciting new changes that everyone can get behind. Absolutely nobody has a problem with the new experience globe mechanics. New experience globes are only at full value for six seconds, and after that are worth 25% exp. And then they last for thirty-nine seconds. Nobody finds this objectionable in any way. This change was not on the PTR due to public outcry from Reddit when it was leaked early, but it’s here live with all of its zero problems fixed.

Another change about which we have received zero complaints is a new tag system behind the scenes. People looking for just the right hero for the situation can easily find it by searching for such keywords as “CC” “Silence” “Sustain” and “Double soak” and find extremely useful and not absolute garbage results. Don’t worry about checking it ahead of time, just get right into draft mode and use it to find the perfect pick!

In addition to those minor and unobjectionable changes, we have removed Volskaya Foundry from the ranked queue, and added everyone’s favorite quickmatch map, Warhead Junction. We have also done this simultaneously with an Overwatch-themed event.

Hero changes below the cut, because this patch is another doozy, with fiiiiiive herooooo rewoooooorks, Four buffed assassins, three nerfed offlaners, two nerfed tanks and we also nerfed the looost viiiikiiiings!

Anduin is the first of our reworks and with him taking a more prominent role in Shadowlands we want to be able to welcome WoW players with open arms. He, uh, doesn’t have a new skin or anything, we just want people to play this game. The central goal of the buff is to improve his healing output in line with other heroes without removing the largest strength in Leap of Faith. As such, we’re just touching literally every part of his kit and talent try and praying that it goes the way we want.

People keep mistaking Johanna for the best tank in the game. This is factually untrue, since Muradin exists. As such, we are just gutting the absolute pants off of Johanna’s talent tree and making it weird and clunky.

For too long has Raynor been the scourge of draft play. Too good to skip, but not scary enough to ban. Perfect macro contributions, with respectable hero damage. Enough self-sustain to take weight off your healer, and self-peel for when tanks are bad. The perfect killing machine. As such, we’ve nerfed his damage into the ground. Start playing Greymane, bitches.

Stitches has proven to be a mediocre bruiser in the eyes of the community. After all these years, I think I know why. We accidentally categorized him as a tank. As such, he needs some serious changes to make him fit that label. This whole time we’ve been balancing him as a bruiser and nobody said anything? This is as much your fault as it is mine.

The average damage output of a ranged assassin has been steadily climbing for a while now. As a result, for a hero to actually be a glass cannon, they need some serious firepower. Valla now has the gunpowder to match her glass. And she’s the glassiest cannon there is. Don’t get me wrong, she still evaporates like a drop of water in California when an enemy hero looks at her. But when she has a solid tank and three healers behind her, the world is your oyster.

Oh my god they didn’t break down the heroes by category. Jesus Christ what the fuck Blizzard? You just decided that this is the line? This is the day you stop caring? Well, congratulations, you’ve made reading your patch notes mildly more inconvenient. I’m still doing this. Ya bunch of jack-offs.

Mei has been grossly overperforming, and we have no idea how that happened. We certainly didn’t buff her over and over again for an entire year. Anyway, we’re just going to roll some stuff back. Definitely probably fine.

It turns out - and bear with me here because this might be hard to follow - Hogger, D.va, and Sonya were all overtuned? For six months? So we’re just gonna tippy tappy them down the smallest little bit. And then slap them around a little for good measure. D.va’s mech form is no longer indomitable, Hogger can no longer solo any merc camp in the game in 12 seconds, and Sonya is now... Basically fine still, honestly. We kinda gave her just a slap on the wrist in comparison. But honestly after gutting Hogger like that, I just didn’t have the heart. One of the benefits from being a little later, alphabetically.

After riding the TLV train up through the ranks, I think it’s about time to recognize that I’m not actually good at them. They’re just overtuned. So it’s time to come back to earth, Icarus. Don’t be fooled by the seemingly-small HP nerf, though. The real nerf is buffing Longboat Raid. People are going to have to pick it to test it and it’s gonna murder their winrate.

Someone told me that Lucio is a problem and needed to be addressed this patch, but my cat came into the home office being adorable so I didn’t hear exactly what they said. So we had to kinda wing it. Hopefully these minor adjustments to his talent tree will solve whatever they were talking about!

Even we know Uther is a problem. Being first pickable and filling three different unique roles was what we wanted to do with Varian not Uther. So we’re going to try and make him incrementally worse at tanking until he just goes away. First up: Shaving off some of that personal armor.

AFK splitpush trash Azmodan is dead. Long live teamfight artillery mage Azmodan. Really glad I made the last HotS Content post about Nova instead of Azmodan because boy howdy do these changes invalidate the entire playstyle that post would have discussed.

W build Falstad has obviously become a problem. Not only was he riddled with bugs after the rework - don’t worry, we learned from our mistakes and made sure there were no bugs with our new reworks - but also he had the ability to point and click on an enemy hero and force them to run all the way to the next lane over in order to stop taking buckets of free damage. It turns out that ability was more powerful than anticipated, and required adjustment.

Q build Falstad has obviously become a problem. Not only was it completely overshadowed by a build that did more damage in every situation with less skill requirement, but we overestimated the value of macro power on a build that demands PvP for stacking. As such, we’ve doubled the amount of power each stack gives him! That’ll do.

AA build Falstad... Stay the course, buddy. Doin’ fine.

Junkrat has been underperforming, which is surprising for a hero with his level of power. As such, we’re going to make a few small buffs to hopefully draw attention, and then we can roll things back once the pickrate reflects his actual power. Hopefully then WE CAN FINALLY MAKE THE MANDATORY CHANGE I PUT IN EVERY MEMO. TYRE. WITH A Y. THAT’S HOW THEY SPELL IT IN AUSTRALIA. KAEO I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU- wait, did Kaeo leave? Who the fuck is still here? Kinnabrew? Adam? Jason? JASON! JASON!?

Tassadar has also fallen off a lot without us having done anything at all whatsoever to nerf him. Entirely undeserved treatment. I’m disappointed in all of you. As such, we’re going to tweak his numbers up just a little tippy tap so that you all remember who killed the Overmind. It wasn’t James Raynor or Sarah Kerrigan. It was Tassadar... Tassadar Bassadar. That’s his last name. Don’t look it up, just trust me.

In the bug fix department, we’ve had a nice sit-down with the Mountain Giants on Alterac and told them that if they have time to lean, they have time to clean. Reaching the end of their lane and expecting the core to come to them is putting undue stress on an already overtaxed position. The core is a very stressful job, and if the mountain giants could just do their part to walk into the core pit when they arrive, that’s a huge load off their shoulders. Drek’thar and Vanndar really needed this expectation taken off them right now, and I’m hopeful it will lead to a better work environment.

[elizabeth-marston-roberts]

Something New | Abigail Marston x F!Reader |

This is part three of the ‘Something’ series! There will be one more to wrap it all up. :)

Words: 2,659

Part One

Part Two

Abigail visits the ranch every few days for three weeks. You always meet her with a smile and a hug, but you notice with each trip she makes, she's more and more tired. She makes a long journey every time she comes /just/ to see you, and while it warms your heart at the dedication, it also makes you feel intense guilt.

So on a day after she's left, you ride your horse out to Beecher's Hope. If nothing else, the ride is beautiful. The Great Plains were vast and full of life, and for the most part you left the animals alone. The sun was beating down against your back, but for Abigail it was worth it. She'd done it for you, after all, so you could do the same for her.

You turn the corner into Beecher's Hope, a smile forming on your face at the sight of Abi's horse hitched by the barn. You hitch your own horse beside him and adjust your hat, walking up the porch. You can't help but notice the blood stain by the steps and wonder if that's from her husband's death. She hasn't spoken about it in detail, but you've inferred it was a violent death.

"Abigail?" You call out, going to knock on the door.

When the door opens, it's not Abigail, but her son instead. You smile at him, hoping he remembers you. "Hi there. Is your mom around?"

"Howdy, miss." Jack says politely. "Are you the one my mother's been goin' to see at the MacFarlane's?"

"I sure am. I thought this time I could be the one to make the long journey."

"I sure appreciate that. Come on in." He steps out of the way and leads you inside the house. It's a nice home that's definitely had a lot of love put into it over the years. It's tidy and most of the decorations look to be handmade. They've made it a home here, and the back of your mind reminds you that you haven't had one of those in a very long time.

"Jack, who are you talkin' to?" Abigail's voice rings out from the kitchen, prompting your heart to leap. It hadn't even been an entire day since she left, and yet you were jumping for joy at the sight of her.

"Why don't you turn around and see for yourself?" You say as you step into the small kitchen.

"What-?" Abigail turns and shrieks lightly, though later you're sure she'll deny that. She latches onto you like lips on a cigarette, her arms tight around your waist and her head on your chest. It's darling how short she is. "What are you doin' here?!"

"I came to see ya!" You laugh and put your arms around her, rocking slightly. "You keep coming to see me and I wanted to return the favor."

"You big ole sweetheart! I don't mind goin' to see ya!"

"I don't mind coming to see you!" You rub her back. "Whatcha makin'?"

"Oh, just some stew an old friend of mine used to make."

"I'm out, Momma!" Jack says, kissing the top of her head briefly before he goes to the door.

Abigail sighs and pulls away from you to follow Jack down the hall. "When are you coming back?"

"I'm not sure." He says. "By tomorrow evenin', I promise."

"Okay... I love you, Jack."

"Love you too." He's out the door then and Abi's shoulders droop.

You push your lip out in a soft pout, coming up behind her and cautiously putting your hands on her shoulders. "He's a man now, Abigail... And men just love flexing their muscles for all to see."

"You may be right, but I don't like it one bit." She puts her hands on top of yours.

"He's going to be just fine. Come on, let's get back to that stew. It sure smells good."

She snorts. "Stop trying to flatter me. I know I'm a mediocre cook at best."

You chuckle and hold your hands up innocently, walking with her to the kitchen. You dip your pinky in the pot of stew for a sample. It isn't the best you've ever eaten, and as far as stews go it's probably the worst, but you've definitely eaten worse-tasting things.

"Let's try and spruce this up some." You say, and Abigail can't help but laugh. "You got any spices?"

"A whole rack of 'em. Don't know what they are or how to use 'em, but they're there." She points to the little spice rack John had built for her in an effort to help his wife's cooking.

You pick up a vial of thyme, examining it. "How come no one taught you to read, Abi?"

"Well, it won't for a lack of tryin'." She explains, sitting at the table. She tucks her bangs behind her ear. "Ol' Dutch tried teachin' me, and Hosea did too. But I couldn't get the hang of it and I just gave up on it. John tried teachin' me himself, but he won't a good teacher and I couldn't make heads or tails out of none of it."

You add some spices and stir the stew, listening carefully as she speaks. "Sounds like they just didn't know how to teach you, Abigail. Will you let me try my hand at it?"

"I respect you too much to do that."

"Abigail." You say sternly. "You don't have to spend the rest of your life as an illiterate widow with an empty nest. I really would like to give it a shot because I think you deserve someone that's not going to give up on you, or let you give up because you're frustrated."

"Why is it so important to you?" She asks. She's not angry, but there's a guarded look in and around her eyes that you haven't seen before. It's not a good feeling, being on the other end of it.

You sigh and kneel in front of her at the table, taking her hands in your own. "Because, Abigail. Because I used to be a widow in the way that you are. I was grieving and I didn't know how to continue living after Pat died. I had no one to help me navigate this damn world, and I don't want you to be alone. And at least if I can teach you to read and write, you can manage a whole lot better than you have been."

She closes her eyes and ducks her head. "You're right. I don't know what I'm doin'. There were a lot of times where I didn't have John, but it was never like this. Now I know he's not comin' back." Her voice breaks, and she sobs. "He's not comin' back home to me, because he's dead and there ain't no comin' back from that, and I don't know what to do!"

You gather Abigail in your arms, tucking her head beneath your chin. She curls up like a small girl and cries. You remember when you accepted Pat's death. It was the hardest part of your grief, it was what made you hurt the most. Witnessing Abigail suffer like this almost pained you as much as that.

"I know it feels like giving up." You whisper. "It feels like you're leaving him behind. It feels like betrayal. But Abigail, you need to hear this: John died. You didn't. You are still breathing in the air, you wake up every morning, you have been blessed to still be alive." You delicately kiss her forehead, lips lingering for a beat. "So step one. Learn how to read.

She sniffles. "Alright. Step one. Learn how to read."

xx

It's been a week since you saddled up and left the MacFarlane's. You're in the kitchen preparing dinner as Abigail sits at the table with a book that Jack loved as a boy.

"Do not as..." She says slowly, her finger placed underneath each word she's reading. She lets out a low sigh and softly counts to ten, something you taught her after her first attempt to quit learning.

"What's it start with, dear?" You ask from the counter.

"E." She says proudly. She always knew the alphabet, she'd told you. Dutch had been able to teach her that much.

"Sound it out." You hum, cutting a bread loaf.

"E... v... il."

You grin. "You got it, Abi!"

She grins, a sparkle of joy in her blue eyes. "You were right! It ain't easy, but once you get the hang of it, it gets better!"

Chuckling fondly, you bring dinner to the table. "Alright, bookworm, set it aside and have some supper."

"I can eat and read!"

"I'm sure you can, Abigail, but I don't want you to get any food on the book."

She laughs softly as she puts the book away. "You make me feel like a child."

You smirk at her when you sit down. " You make me feel like a mother."

"Oh please." She rolls her eyes and waves a delicate hand.

Dinner is quiet until Abigail gathers the courage to ask you something she'd been wondering about for some time. "Did you ever have any children?"

Rubbing your lips together and considering your words carefully, you set your spoon down. "No."

"Why's that? I think you'd've been a great mother."

"Ah... Pat and I just weren't compatible in that way."

"Oh." She murmurs. "... I had a daughter, but she died. And obviously I got Jack. John and I had always talked about havin' one more baby, but..."

You squeeze her hand. "Just didn't have the time." You finish for her.

"Yeah." She nods and looks you in the eye. "Just didn't have the time."

"Say, why don't you read to me on the couch? I'll light a fire and make some tea." You bargain with a smile, hoping she won't say no.

"Okay!" Abigail's smile is the most beautiful thing you've seen.

She's close to you now on the couch, reading slowly but with everything she's got. You help out occasionally, and only when asked to. You've noticed just how stubborn and headstrong Abigail is when her mind is set, and it endears you just how determined she is to better herself for herself.

Gently, you're gnawing on your bottom lip. You can smell her shampoo, she's so close. Her back is at your front and her sweet voice is vibrating lightly against you. You're feeling a legitimate need for water now, but you know it won't help.

"You're doing wonderfully, Abi." You whisper, lips itching to press against her dark hair.

She turns her head and smiles brightly at you. "Why thank you!"

The eye contact is immediate and neither of you can look away. Your heart begins thumping in your chest at how easy it would be to just lean in and...

Abigail closes the distance, pressing her lips to your cheek. Your eyes shut and you lightly lean into her touch before she pulls away and folds the corner of the page over, closing the book. "It's late." She says, standing up. "Should get to bed now. I'll... See you in the morning."

You swallow thickly, cheeks burning now. The feeling of her lips linger still. "Yes... Goodnight, Abigail."

She nods awkwardly and shuffles towards her bedroom. She stops for a moment before she turns the corner, her hand on the wall while she looks back at you sitting on the couch. Ducking her head, she silently continues her retreat into her bedroom. You shudder a sigh and lay out on the couch, covering your eyes with your forearm.

This couldn't end well.

xx

In a handful at weeks, Abigail is a reading and writing pro. Jack's been staying out later and longer, but they've been sending each other letters in between his absences. Somehow it makes them closer.

It's early in the morning, before the sun is even starting to rise. You're moving around the living room quietly, packing your bag. Your work here is done; it's time to move onto the next town, the next ranch.

You're working at a much slower pace than you normally would. Telling yourself it's because Abigail is sleeping, you fold your clothes, tucking any other precious belongings you own in the middle. Rufus is sitting in the corner of the room, staring at you with his normally soft, dark eyes. He seems judgmental, but that's most likely you projecting... Isn't it?

Your bag is packed and you're ready to go just as the sun starts to rise. You've got a letter in hand for her to read when she realizes you're gone.

You know this is wrong and that she deserves better, but it's not stopping you. Abigail waking up and discovering you, however, does.

"What're you doin'?" She asks through a yawn. Even in her nightgown with her hair mussed from sleep, she's beautiful. Her cheeks are dusted pink and she's pushing her hair from her face. There's no escaping now.

You sigh. "Well, Abi... It's time for me to go."

"Go where?" She's awake now and she's frowning; it's not a good look and frankly, it's not good for your physical or mental health when you're the one that's put it there.

"Go... Away. Move on. I'm a real vagabond, Abi. You know this..." You're turned away from her, your eyes on your belongings.

"So you think you can just leave me without a proper goodbye?! You think you can just walk out my damn door like it's nothin'?! You're wrong! You're wrong and you know that and that's why you can't even look at me! Look at me!"

"I'm leaving, Abigail!" You shout back, eyes burning as you continue staring at a green blouse.

"Look at me." She's angry, you know this, but you can't ignore the desperation in her voice. "Look at me!" She shrieks, rushing to where she was stood mere inches from you.

Abigail grips your chin between her thumb and forefinger, adjusting your head to where you had no choice. You look into her blue eyes, and then she speaks again.

"You do not get to just up and leave me." Her voice wavers, but she stands firm. "Without you, I have nothin'. Do you understand that? I'm a wife without a husband and a mother without a son. I am damn tired of bein' left behind!"

"Abigail." You whisper. "I'll write to you. We'll keep in touch, I promise. "

"I don't wanna just 'keep in touch'." She whimpers. It's a pitiful sound that gnaws at your stomach. "I want to see you. I wanna hear you. You... Have made such an impact on my life. You're my best friend."

"I'll visit you. Once a month, I promise."

"Why can't you just stay? Why do you have to go?"

"Ever since Pat died, I... Haven't had a place to be."

"Your place is at this ranch!" She's so close now. She's begging you, she's crying for you...

"I have to go." You whisper. "I know you don't understand. It's better for the both of us this way, Abi."

"Be honest with me. Why's it so-called 'better this way'? Why would me wakin' up and findin' you gone with some stupid letter be good for me? Just because your husband died don't mean nobody's never gonna want you around!"

"Abigail." You say softly. "Pat's full name was Patricia."

She blinks, unimpressed. "Well... That don't change how I feel, if that was your intent. I want you to stay on my ranch with me, because ever since John died, this place won't a home. And it won't a home until you showed up all them weeks ago. So you're stayin'." She pokes your chest.

You swallow thickly. "Yes ma'am."

Abigail grins. "Now, since you're up so early, you can make the coffee."

It was the best-tasting coffee you ever brewed.

[unnamedcrane]

Am I still myself, anymore? (ch.1!)

Am I still myself, anymore?

Instead of being 12 and writing my first fanfic, I'm nearing my senior year and writing my first fanfic so pray for me guys.

Anyway original idea belongs to CRUSIFIXdroid on wattpad and this fanfic is my "spin" on her story "It all started by one single tear" (https://my.w.tt/YGeqGzeENY) which you should absolutely check out! But keep in mind that it has major spoilers for danganronpa v3.

Oh and just like original this is also x Rantaro x mastermind Kokichi fic and has lots of spoilers.

Hope you enjoy my mediocre writing and if you have any questions or advice I would be more than happy to hear it!

(also don’t be surprised if I change the title sometime in the future)

~~~~~~

Chapter 1 "New Danganronpa"

I woke up confused in dark,confined space. 

“where the hell am I?” 

Was my immediate thought. After stumbling around a little, I fell out of what appeared to be school locker.

 “Ow what the actual fuck?!” I was starting to get annoyed by everything that was going on. Ignoring that feeling I tried to keep my cool by dusting off my school uniform and patting my brown hair down. 

 As soon as I started to think about how could I even get here, locker right next to the one I was in a second ago began to shake violently and suddenly this prick Rantaro Amami fell out.

“oh hey Nanako-chan, glad to see you he-” Before he could finish I cut him off and glared. 

 “Okay cut the bullshit Amami I really don’t want to deal with your crap right now, If you would kindly shut the fuck up and just find a way out of this shithole that’d be sweet.” I send him the fakest smile I could muster in the moment

Just when I was about to leave the classroom we were in, he walked up and towered over me. 

 “or what?”

 he pierced me with his light green eyes. I scoffed and pushed him aside.

 “oh please… we’ve been over this before fuck boy, but I guess you never learn huh? Whatever I’m done talking to you anyway, asshole.”

 I turned around and glanced at him while leaving the classroom “I hopefully won’t have to see your pathetic ass ever again.”

Rantaro was always such a fucking bother. After winning Danganronpa he just started to think that he owns everyone, seriously how pathetic can you be? He and everyone else in that little group of his just think that they’re the hottest shit, and it’s sad honestly.

After leaving classroom A, I started to walk down the corridor in the direction of something that looked like a big cage. Unfortunately I didn't see any way to get inside. I went further down into another hall. I then saw some kind of eating area and passageway with two doors. 

I also noticed my “best friend” - Kokichi Ouma.

” Oh Kokichi! Fancy seeing you here.” 

He turned around seemingly scared “N-Nanako?” he stuttered in quiet voice.

“How nice that you didn’t forget your “best friend” weeb. And here I thought that you were completely hopeless. Anyway, I don’t care what you and that fuckboy Amami are doing here but do you know where the exit is, twerp?” I said in a condescending tone 

Kokichi is...was my best friend some time ago,but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. Everything has changed after “That” and no one will stop me in achieving my goal, especially not him. He left me then so it’s only right for me to leave him too.

I tapped my foot impatiently while glaring at him.

 “Well? I don’t have all the time in the world weeb”. 

He snapped his big violet eyes back to mine “U-um I really don’t know anything either… I’m extremely sorry Nanako, but why Rantaro is here?” he said meekly. 

Good. He should be sorry.

“You’re very lucky that I’m busy right now. And maybe you should ask Mr. Fuckboy yourself huh? You’re both the bestest of friends aren’t you?” 

That was sarcasm of course. Rantaro always was the one to bully kids in our grade even before me.

“I-I’m sorry that I asked I shouldn’t have… b-but! I saw other people from our old school heading towards the gym…”

“How nice of you to finally say something useful twerp, but later I’ll make sure to remind you why you should just stay in your place.”

I came up to him the same way Amami did to me earlier. He shivered and tried to hide behind his hair

 “Hopefully I won’t have to see you again today you pitiful twat”. I smirked.

I let him go and continued to walk down the corridor. I usually don’t think about our encounters like this one, but there was something odd about him today. He seemed more jittery and less scared than normal which was unusual especially for him. By the time I started to speculate what could be the reason for that, I reached the gym.

 I opened big doors to reveal all my classmates from middle and primary schools. Most of them looked scared or perplexed by the situation. 

“Okay is this some fucked up reunion, because really I could spend my time way better than meeting ...well all of you weebs, full offense”. 

Some of them were shocked by my outburst, but there were a few that were just angry. I didn’t really care about them, I just needed to get out of here.

 “Who are you calling a weeb you...weeb!” Kaito Momota yelled. He never was the smartest kid in our class but seriously even he could come up with something better.

“Oh damn Momota you’re a real brainiac aren’t you?” Before he could speak up again I continued “Well anyway is there anyone actually intelligent here or is it only you morons?” 

Abruptly the door opened behind me and Rantaro came in with Kokichi just behind him. He was even more jittery now. Does he know why we are here? 

“Fourteen...hmm… do any of you saw anyone else?” he asked.

”W-why..?” Kokichi asked with hint of excitement to his voice.

“Well only two more “students” and there is going to be sixteen of us and that can mean only one thing.” 

It suddenly clicked. 

Does that mean that I was chosen? “You mean that we got into Danganronpa, don’t you fucker?” 

Everyone were either bewildered or excited. “That’s right princess.” He winked at me.

 That.

Creep.

 While everyone was trying to wrap their heads around it and some of them even started talking about what ultimate they’re hoping to have, our two missing students showed up.

Shuichi Saihara more sweaty than usual and our bitch queen Kaede Akamatsu. 

Suddenly everything went black and we heard unmistakable high pitched voice of black and white bear “Testing..testing...Hello,howdy it’s your favorite plush bear host Monokuma!”

I smiled to myself. 

Well let this killing game officially begin. 

[subjectsix]

Was lowkey expecting Endgame to be mediocre or disappointing in parts but I genuinely enjoyed it like, not really sure how they managed to pace a 3 hour movie that well but boy howdy they did it and I laughed a whole lot and felt a whole lot and felt like the characters got all well treated and considered

[reduxroyal]

What are you thoughts on fire emblem heroes so far? And who's on your team?

lol okay buckle the fuckle in kids this is gonna be a ride

(also thank you for this ask and I’m sorry you’re about to get way more info than you probably wanted)

We’ll start with the short answer, so people who aren’t really here for a fucking Fire Emblem history lesson can dip:

Heroes is a fun little game that is honestly a good test to see if you’d like proper titles because the mechanics are identical. They use smaller versions of the original maps, and even pull a lot of the classic music. It’s fun, it works, and there are some nice nods to the older games. My team is Lazlow, Tiki, Niles, and Frederick, all four star or below because the gotcha gods hate me.

Here’s the long answer. Like, really long answer.

Fire Emblem is, historically, not what we’d call a raging success in the US. The first six titles were Japan-exclusive. So from 1990 until 2003, nobody in the US really knew or cared about Fire Emblem because there were no fuckin games for them to play. So what happened to change that?

Melee. Melee happened.

Marth and Roy (for whatever fucking reason I still don’t know why) were on the roster of the 2001 fighter Super Smash Bros. Melee and boy howdy were they popular. You may remember that all of their voice lines were in Japanese, and that’s because they literally didn’t have English voice actors, because there were no English Fire Emblem titles. To be fair FE didn’t use cutscenes at that point so there were probably no voice actors period but like whatever.

So Roy and Marth become like, overnight sensations, and that coupled with the success of Intelligent System’s other tactical RPG, Advance Wars, prods Nintendo to give it a shot and release Blazing Blade internationally for the GBA in 2003. Blazing Blade is the story of Eliwood, Roy’s father, as well as Lyn and Hector, two other big names in FE lore.

But Blazing Blade only sells so-so. In fact, over the next eleven years, Fire Emblem hits a slump, both in Japan and abroad. Titles like Sacred Stones (the first video game I ever played) Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn (why would you put a tactical RPG on anything other than a handheld literally why why why it makes no sense omfg) and Shadow Dragon (which is a rehash of the first game, Shadow Dragon and the Blade of Light) all do pretty mediocre.

So now the year is like 2010-ish and FE’s not picking up it’s lost revenue or interest, so Intelligent Systems starts planning what is essentially going to be the franchise’s finale, and that’s Fire Emblem Awakening. Intelligent Systems pulls out all the fuckin stops to make the best game they possibly can so it will be a proper last hurrah. If Awakening didn’t sell well, Fire Emblem was going to be shelved forever.

Awakening, of course, due to many things like good advertising, the right platform, a really fucking solid game with cool new mechanics, likeable characters, a decent plot, and fucking gorgeous cutscenes, becomes the best-selling game in Fire Emblem’s twenty-three year history. Which leads to the somewhat awkward question of what the fuck do you do when the thing that was supposed to be your franchise’s finale becomes the most popular installment of the whole goddamn series?

Well, if you’re Nintendo, you try to recreate it.

That’s what Fates is: a recreation. They (understandably) want to make that magic happen again. So they put together the same artists, a lot of the same voice actors, and everyone’s favorite marriage-to-child mechanic (that just does not make sense in Fates okay I’m sorry I love it and I’m here for it but we all need to agree that it just doesn’t make sense) and Fates does pretty well. Fire Emblem’s back in business.

But you’re left in this curious situation where more than half of your fanbase is only familiar with two out of fourteen titles, so it’s hard to decide where to go. Awakening and Fates are not traditional Fire Emblem games. They are so very, very different in so many ways. The pace of the games, the length of the games, the unit-recruiting process, roster size, the way Support works, even the buying and selling and acquisition of weapons like…there’s just this huge gap. How do you bridge it?

A…mobile game, I guess?

Which like don’t get me wrong, Heroes’ shortcomings have nothing to do with its platform. Like I said before: it’s cute and it’s competent. My issue lies more in the marketing of the game.

I’m sure we all remember the polls that went on to decide which Fire Emblem greats were going to be playable characters in the game, right? And you could pick anyone. Literally anyone. It didn’t matter if they were only apart of your roster for a map and a half. It didn’t matter if they were an enemy unit. It didn’t matter if they were some like, random archer you got in the third chapter so you could learn about ranged attacks. You could vote for any character from any Fire Emblem game, period.

Except, that means it’s essentially boiling down to a popularity contest between twelve practically unknown or rarely known Fire Emblem titles and the two newest, best-selling, fan favorites. Which isn’t upsetting so much as it is, like, dumb? Like of course the majority of people are gonna vote for Chrom and Camilla, that’s what they know. One of the best Fire Emblem characters (in my opinion) is Prince Innes, from Sacred Stones. He has a hilariously arrogant attitude, is bold and brash, and a sick fucking sniper who constantly insists he should be on the front lines and not in the back of the party with the rest of the ranged attackers.

Innes, of course, didn’t make the list. Because ten out of the chosen twenty male heroes were from Awakening or Fates (that ratio is 13:20 for the ladies if you were curious) So this game that was intended to like, I don’t even know, revive interest in old games or at least make them relevant, ends up not really doing that at all. Especially because out of the first eight chapters (that’s as far as I’ve gotten) four of ‘em explore the worlds of Awakening and Fates.

What about Path of Radiance? What about Sacred Stones? What about literally anything besides the last two games in the franchise because it’s not that I don’t like those games, it’s that you promised me a game that embraced all of Fire Emblem, and this ain’t it. Also you went to the trouble of giving Eirika official art and she’s not even a character you can draw what the actual fuck is she in this game or nah

BASICALLY (we’re almost done you almost made it) I think it will be interesting to see how Fire Emblem: Echoes plays out. Echoes is a remake of Fire Emblem Gaiden, a 1992 Japan-only exclusive that I, personally, know nothing about, but can tell you with relative confidence that it’s not like Awakening or Fates because nothing in FE is like Awakening or Fates. It’s coming out in May of this year and like…I’m really curious to see how the “newer” (and by the way newer does not mean in any way that you’re like less of a fan. I don’t care if the only Fire Emblem game you’ve played is Awakening, I’m just fucking glad you’re playing Fire Emblem, let’s be friends) fans will like it. The official description for it is: “Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia recreates classic Fire Emblem gameplay with a modern twist, mixing in exploration of dungeons crawling with enemies.”

I have never played a FE title that had a dungeon of any kind, unless you count the Tower of Valni from Sacred Stones. I don’t even know what that means in the terms of a tactical RPG but like, I guess we’ll see. 

tl;dr I like Fire Emblem a whole lot and will always be bitter over Eirika’s bullshit outfit in Awakening’s DLC

Thanks for reading!

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

Hi! I’m back again! And at this point lots of things have changed in regards to this post! Most notably: Heroes has added lots of older Fire Emblem characters to the game (including Innes which makes my earlier complaint look really dumb) and Echoes came out and it’s genuinely one of the best games I’ve ever played, and easily one of the best games in FE’s franchise.

Here’s the thing that past me writing this post didn’t get: newer fans are just as invested as old fans, they just don’t have as much to be invested in yet. I can prattle on and on about Sacred Stones and Binding Blade and Shadow Dragon and all the titles I’ve played, but newer players (under-fucking-standably) aren’t going to go back and play games with bad graphics from the late 90′s and early 00′s, so they just hang out with the titles they have played, which for some people, is just Awakening, or just Fates.

Echoes was universally adored by the fanbase. There were a couple times I saw comments like “well, where’s the avatar unit?” or “why can’t I marry other units and have kids?” and like, I wanted to be mad, because those aren’t staples of Fire Emblem, but if anything it’s Nintendo’s fault for making two games back-to-back that promoted the hell out of those features. How could someone who only played Awakening and Fates (which is the majority of this game’s base) know any differently?

And Heroes has really done well with bringing in more characters from other games. Every single game in the franchise (even fucking Tharcia 776) is represented by at least two characters, and they’re always adding more. I think they’re genuinely doing the best they can to please everyone, and the only people throwing a fit are "older” fans who think they deserve more because, what? They’ve put more time in? They’ve somehow “earned” it?

Nintendo is a business, and businesses rely on popularity to fucking succeed. That’s just how it works. Like it or not, the realistic faces of this franchise are characters like Lucina, Ryoma, Corrin, Camilla, and Robin. That’s just how it works. Characters like Math and Lyn will always endue because they’ve been built up as legends, but now there’s so many new characters, and so many new fans, so of course things have to change and the attention has to shift.

And new fans are picking up the old characters just as much!! Characters that haven’t gotten fanart in a fuckin decade are suddenly getting a bunch of attention, because a new fan pulled them in Heroes, didn’t know who they were but liked their design, and went to town.

tl;dr - you aren’t more important just because you’ve “been a fan” longer, it makes complete sense that Nintendo would shift the focus to games like Awakening and Fates, and if you’re waiting for a certain character to show up in Heroes give it some time.

That’s all for real this time.

Also my new team (if anyone cares) is Innes, Leo, Azura, and Raven. I don’t want to talk about how much money I spent trying to gotcha twelve year-old video game characters.

I, uh, I just really like Fire Emblem.

also for all the Path of Raidance and Radiant Dawn fans who sent me asks saying those games were the highest-selling games for their consoles: you’re wrong, and here are the fucking receipts