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#brandon novak
sleepylibra25 · 2 months
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Is it just me, or is there like nobody left on Jackass/CKY tumblr? Like there used to be so many writers and fan accounts on here but everybody's gone😭😭😭
Anyways, here are some of my favorite pics of the guys as my contribution to keeping Jackass/CKY tumblr alive🥲
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"Desire huh? What the fuck does that mean? Does that mean you're into dudes with fucking long hair, smell like beer, have shitty tattoos; maybe they hang out at the bowling alley! Maybe, just maybe you'll go out back and rub their sick crotch; he'll stick his hands down your pants. Meanwhile, your boyfriend's sitting at home jerking off to fucking gay porn" Haggard (2003) Dir: Bam Margera
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Bros so fruity and for WHAT
(this is only a handful of the gay ass pictures of bam in my gallery I have plenty more 😭)
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waiting4yourcall666 · 1 month
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vlb icons ★
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directedbytremaine · 20 days
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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 1 month
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I’d love to request a fake dating fic with Dico where the reader tries to make Bam jealous by fake dating Dico but falls for him in the process
Jealousy
Y/N hatches a plan to get back at Bam, and they know just the person to go along with it.
Brandon DiCamillo X Gn!Reader, Bam Margera X Gn!Reader
(Fluff)
2.1k Words
Warnings: Suggestive content, fake dating, jealousy, public displays of affection, finger sucking, injury, violence
The idea was childish, but you were past handling this maturely. Funnily enough, the whole situation began with you falling for Bam. For the first few months you hung out with him and his friends, it was like you got cartoon heart eyes every time he walked in the room, and with the way he acted around you, there was no way he didn’t notice. In fact, he found your little crush on him hilarious and had no qualms about using it to mess with you. One minute he’d be playing all sweet, sorta playfully joking and flirting with you, and the next you’d be the target of whatever awful prank he had in mind. You tolerated it for a month or two, assuming it was maybe his weird little way of showing love, but it really started to get on your nerves, especially with the way he kept skirting around confirming or denying if he was interested in you in the first place. That’s how you got the idea.
The only one of Bam’s friends you knew would go along with this was Dico, so it was him who you called that night. Lying on top of your comforter, you perked up when he answered his phone, “Hey, dude!” You started, rolling over onto your back, “I got this great plan to fuck with Bam.” Not only would he do anything for the sake of a joke, you were willing to bet he had some beef against the guy too. The line was quiet before Bran spoke up, “Say no more- I’m in.” You went on to tell him about what had been going on between you and Bam, and how you thought the one thing to make him come to his senses and give you an answer would be seeing you with another guy, whether that meant Bam would be throwing himself at your feet and confessing his love for you or telling you to fuck off. “Oh, that’s perfect! He’s such a jealous ass- there’s no way this can’t work.”
After you and him spent the whole night discussing gross couples stuff you could do in his line of sight, you decided to implement step one of your plan to piss Bam off that weekend. Since it was summer, you and the guys would usually spend the weekends at FDR skatepark, even if the only ones who really skated were Bam and Novak. Still, hanging out under Interstate 95 was a good way to stay cool after someone, not naming names, ‘accidently’ put a hole in the Margera’s above ground pool that duct tape couldn’t fix. You know how there’s always a guy grilling at FDR? Well today Dico was that guy, cooking the burgers Ryan brought on a little red camping grill, his look complete with one of those cheesy “Kiss the Cook” aprons.
Bam couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you snuggling close to, of all people, Dico. His arm held you close to his body and you giggled all cute to make it seem like you were laughing at something just out of Bam’s earshot. Did he fall into the Twilight Zone, or was he just so drunk that he was seeing things? Maybe it was some sort of heat exhaustion hallucination, because there was no way in hell this was actually happening. Given how easy he wa sto read,Bam’s gawking at the two of you was impossible to ignore, and once the two of you were satisfied with the reaction you were eliciting, you decided to kick it up a notch. You gave him the cue and Bran grabbed the bottle of ketchup off of the concrete with a snicker, popping open the cap and squirting some onto his fingers, holding it up to your lips like he was giving you a taste of what he was cooking. It was his idea for you to suck it off of his fingers, actually, sort of inspired by his Julia Childish bit he did for Don’t Feed Phill, and you really gave it your all, really licking and sucking at his digits until your lips popped off with a noise that echoed off the concrete that was second only to the sound of Bam’s jaw dropping.
The next thing you heard was this blunt packing noise and a, “Fuck!” Turning towards the commotion, you found Bam flat on his back, his board about twenty feet from him. Like a good best friend, Ryan was already jumping into the bowl to check on him. Peering over his sprawled out body, he held out a hand to help him up, “Shit dude…You alright?” Sitting up, Bam wobbled to his feet, rubbing the sore back of his head and brushing off the throbbing pain in his left arm, “Yeah. Just, uh- just ate shit. I’ll be fine.” The way he pretended to be so nonchalant was really quite satisfying to you and you couldn’t help but smirking a little. See, now would be the time for him to start hallucinating one of his bros getting fresh with you, after the head trauma, but no! Satisfied with your work, you and Dico sat back in half-broken lawn chairs Raab brought and ate your burgers, exchanging knowing glances between bites.
The next step of the plan was put into play in Bam’s basement while everyone was busy with his home arcade setup. You stood next to Dico, curiously peering at the match he was playing in Mortal Kombat with one arm around you, holding you close as you watched with big eyes as he executed a pretty impressive combo with Sub-Zero. All the other guys were too busy tapping away at their own games to notice anything was amiss- that is, except Bam, who was sitting on the couch with his left arm in a sling, glaring daggers at the two of you while Ryan, who sat on the other end of the couch, was filling him in about his ex girlfriend’s fancy new implants she paid for with lawsuit money, “I mean, I paid for those and I don’t even get to touch em’! Total bullshit.” Ignoring him, Bam gestured over to the bulgur display in front of him, keeping his voice quiet, “Hey, Ry. The fuck’s going on there? Those two’ve been hangin’ all over each other lately.” He didn’t seem to be as concerned with the very mild pda, and, unsatisfied with his lack of reaction Bam continued on his rant, “I’m just sayin- She’s all over for me for months, following me around like a puppy dog, and next thing I know, she’s dating Dico?” The way you giggled when his best friend leaned over and gave you a kiss on the cheek made his blood boil.
Ryan chuckled, bringing his beer to his lips, “Sounds like you’re a bit jealous. Should’ve fucked her while y’had the chance” Despite how obvious his jealousy was, Bam was very eager to deny it, “nah, nah- it’s not like that. You don’t get it.” Snickering, Ry playfully smacked him on the arm, “Yeah, I get it. You’re not sure if you want her or not but you certainly don’t want your buddy over there to have her.” Shooting a glance over to you and Bran all snuggled up in a scene straight out of a hallmark card, Bam rolled his eyes, “Oh, fuck you. Why’d I even talk to you about this anyhow…”
Bam decided to just come out and ask Dico about it, pulling him aside as everyone was getting ready to head out the door, “Hey, dude, what’s, uh- what’s goin’ on between you and Y/N?” Still pulling on his coat, he was obnoxiously nonchalant in reply, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.” He tugged the bottom of his jacket down, “I just think they’re really cool and nice and funny, you know?” You said nothing. Thank god he and you had planned for this exact scenario- you really made sure you thought of everything. Still, Bam eyed you and him with suspicion, trailing after the two of you, “Oh, alright- yeah. I mean, is that it?” Pausing in the doorway, Bran turned back with a smirk to deliver the finishing blow to his ego, “Yeah. What’ re you, like- jealous or somethin’?”
After all this, the final straw was that night you all went out to the bar together, and if Bam thought he felt like a third wheel before, he really did now. Every time Dico played with your hair or made you laugh at another one of his stupid jokes, he felt the urge to reach over the bar and stab two little cocktail stirrers into his eyes. It’d keep him from staring at you like that, that’s for sure- like you were his. But he kept to himself, quietly seething in his little brooding bubble. It was a scene straight out of the discovery channel, with the two lions fighting over a wildebeest- no, a gazelle, because they’re prettier. Bam wondered what on earth was someone as hot as you doing with Dico? The two glared at each other over your head and you swear you saw his eye twitch when Bran flashed that shit eating grin when he ordered you a drink. If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead right then and there.
Part of you found the thought of being fought over by two guys kind of romantic, especially given who was fighting over you. Sure, this was all a bid to get Bam’s attention, but over the course of your little experiment, you had actually been growing closer to Dico. There was something so endearing and cute about his antics that you just couldn’t ignore, and even when you weren't trying to make Bam jealous, it sorta felt natural to hang out with each other more, and maybe you struggled to keep your hands off of each other from time to time but that didn’t mean anything, right? Hell, it was Dico's arm that still sat wrapped around your waist when out of nowhere, Bam suddenly grabbed you in a flash of anger and passion and pulled you into a kiss- one of those really needy, territorial, Jack Danniel’s tinged ones- like a soldier back from war. Surprised as you were, Bran chuckled at the scene in front of him, “Woah! Easy there, cowboy…” When he finally pulled away, you were left in a daze, a pink blush spreading across your cheeks as you finally got what you wanted.
Or you got what you thought you wanted, as you realized a few weeks into you officially dating Bam. For a while, it was everything you dreamed of, all late night sports car rides and rock concert dates with your big celebrity boyfriend. But when your car broke down in the dead of winter and he was the first person you called, all you got back was a voicemail, “Hey. S’Bam. Leave it after the beep.” After the third one you gave up on trying to appeal towards him and just hung up. Shivering from the cold that was slowly creeping in, your stiff fingers finally punched in Dico’s number as a last ditch effort. One ring, two rings, click. “Hey, Y/N! What’s up?” You were never happier to hear his voice, and a relieved smile spread across your face as you sighed, “Oh my god…my, uh- my car broke down- like, half an hour ago. Are you busy right now?” Breathing puffs of smoke onto your hands to keep them warm, you could hear the sounds of him pulling his jacket on. “Nah, just hangin’ out at Bam’s. I’ll be there in five.” So Bam wasn't that busy. Blinking hard, you made a mental note that he was totally dead later before hanging up.
It was as if a wave of relief washed over when you saw Dico’s beater car pull around the corner. Since the day he picked that thing up from the junkyard, you teased him about how he was on tv and still getting seen in the kinda car a divorced dad would drive, but you were never happier to dive into that hunk of junk (through the window, because the passenger side door was stuck). Warming your frigid hands by the half working vent, you shuddered, “Oh, you are a lifesaver!” Smiling, he shifted the car into gear while you buckled your seatbelt. “Hey, any time! I’ll always be there for you, man.” A little glimmer hit your eye at his promise and you could swear your heart was going to flutter out of your chest, “Always?”
“Yeah.”
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myownprivategeocity · 8 months
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ryan and bam are so goddamn fine i literally am going to combust RAHHHHH BARK BARK
𖤐 goodnight bam bam sluts i luv u guys and this community sfm <333
i’ve got a busy week coming up so i probably won’t be as active:,( i’ll try to post when i can
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stratossphere · 2 years
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impatient. | j.k
johnny knoxville x crew exec!reader
word count: 6.2k
reader is busy working on set, and johnny can’t keep his hands off despite knowing that they can’t leave work.
warnings: johnny being a horny motherfucker, johnny’s dirty mouth, smut, oral (both receiving), 69 position
— —
Today was a rare day. Usually work was pretty chill, and you all got what you needed in a relaxed time frame that didn’t force anyone to rush or push themselves past a comfortable level. But today was busy. It had started off with the set list getting fucked up, so you’d been forced to reset and re-situate your filming location (‘you’ meaning you, Jeff, and Spike), and once you had finally gotten everything fixed, it had been a race to get everyone to set from wherever they were so that you could utilize the one day you were given for the location.
You hadn’t sat down since you’d arrived very early that morning, and only now, at almost three in the afternoon, were things starting to kick into gear.
Bam and Ryan were coming back from Pennsylvania with Novak in tow for some of the stunts that had been drawn up, and they were immediately thrown into the shit to get everything set up on time due to the fact that they had to fly right back the next day (you included) to meet filming requirements for Viva La Bam.
“Holy fuck. What the hell is all going on?” As Novak came towards you, his eyes widened at the slightly frantic look in your eyes. Their flight had been delayed by almost two hours, and had put you behind in lieu of the fact that your current setup completely relied on their three of them actually being there. You waved off his question, pulling yourself back into work-mode where you had been trying to give yourself a minuscule break from the chaos that was currently surrounding you.
“Okay. You need to go help them set up for the ramp for the lake, and then you two need to go get what you need out of the warehouse so that we can start shooting. We’re like, an hour and a half behind.” You spoke first to Ryan, then to Novak and Bam as you motioned around set for where they needed to go. They weren’t even top 5 on your list of things to handle, so you were definitely rushing.
“Jesus. You gonna let me breathe some air first?” Bam muttered irritably, sunglasses on his eyes barely hiding the deep scowl on his face. You hardly acknowledged his complaint, instead looking to Ryan so that Bam’s attitude didn’t penetrate your brain.
“While you’re over there, can you make sure Spike called the production company to clear our contract for the night? I don’t know how long we’re staying today, and they already tried to kick us off once this morning.” You explained, running your fingers through your hair and barely glancing over at Bam and Novak as they stalked off in the direction of the warehouse that you were all keeping all of your supplies in for the day.
“Sure, yeah. Are you…wearing the director’s headset?” Ryan motioned to the headset that was half on your head so that you could listen to the people around you with one ear and the calls on the headset with the other. You nodded, sighing and motioning towards where Jeff was standing in a large group of crew members.
“He said he had to ‘take a call’ and then handed it over for ‘just a minute’. So I’ve been getting all the bullshit calls from the four fucking stunts we have running right now.” You explained tiredly, betting on the espresso you had just downed on the one trip to your car that you had allowed yourself since arriving for the intense speed of the words spewing out of your mouth.
“You want me to take it back to him?” It was almost comical how alarmed Ryan looked by your current state. At least one person was worried about you. You waved it off, letting out a breath to calm your overstimulated brain and chuckling slightly.
“It’s fine. It’s just PJ calling every three seconds with some dumbass trick he wants me to watch.” You reassured, rolling your eyes at the thought. Every time you got a call from someone’s radio (usually Kosick’s) saying ‘Y/n to set four’ you knew you were about to see something stupid. Especially because set four consisted of Johnny, Steve-O, and Ehren, who had just spent the entire time fuckign with each other considering their stunt was literally called ‘The Tackle Cannonball’, which was just throwing each other into the water in the most violent ways they could come up with.
“I would kill myself if I had your job, Y/n.” Ryan said honestly, shaking his head and clapping you on the shoulder. You gave him an unimpressed look, snapping your fingers towards where Jeff was still standing in the same place running his mouth like he had been for the past half an hour.
“That’s great. Thanks. Now go do what I fucking asked.” Just as you spoke sourly in your best friend’s direction, you suddenly realized that you could hear someone calling your name on the headset. You immediately recognized Johnny’s impatient whine.
You snapped your fingers for Ryan to hurry up before you took a deep breath, readied yourself, and shifted your focus to the headset on your head.
“I’m not coming over there if it’s stupid, Knoxville.”
“It’s not! I just need a towel.” Johnny was clearly outraged by the fact that you had just called him out, because his tone was almost a scoff. You internally groaned. You knew you didn’t have any towels, but you didn’t want to have an entire back and forth on the radio when every single person on set was able to hear everything you were saying, so you just decided to put off conversing with Spike over whether or not you were good to stay for the rest of the day for another five minutes.
“I’ll be right there.”
Of course, his set was the furthest away from you, so by the time you finally made the trek up to where you could see them shoving each other around incessantly on the pier that you’d brought in for that purpose, you were exhausted. Maybe the espresso wasn’t working as well as you thought it was.
Ehren and Steve-O were wrestling on the very edge of the pier while Rick filmed from a distance, but Johnny was standing off to the side, almost shivering as he waited for you to get to where he was waiting. It wasn’t exactly freezing outside, but the water was a lot colder than the air, and they’d been fucking around in it for close to an hour now.
“Why do you need a towel? I have no idea if we even have any.” You admitted as you got within his earshot, giving yourself a quick second to admire his bare, dripping torso before refocusing on the task at hand. He threw a hand in the air.
“You literally have the director’s headset on. How did you not hear Jeff’s call?” Clearly genuinely bothered by the fact that you hadn’t brought him a towel, his voice still had a slight edge to it. You scowled, wishing that you could paint him a picture of how chaotic everything was outside of his immediate eye-line.
“I was talking to Dunn, Bam, and Novak. They just got here. An hour and a half late.” You explained tiredly, running a hand over your face and trying to will yourself into not starting an argument. You didn’t want to deal with a pissy Johnny on top of juggling about ten people’s worth of jobs for the next ten hours or so. “Well? What was the call?”
“I’m supposed to…follow you around to help with some of the work.” He smiled hesitantly, because he clearly knew that you were going to hate that idea. You took another very deep breath, just staring at him for a second before shrugging.
“Okay. Whatever.” Enlisting Johnny to ‘help’ with serious tasks was like asking a dog to package meat slices, but at that point it couldn’t have been any more stressful, so you just let it go. When you noticed that he was starting to shiver even more than he had when you’d first laid eyes on him, you sighed and handed him the clipboard in your free hand so that you could pull your sweatshirt (which was actually his) over your head. “Here. You look like you’re starting to get hypothermia.”
“You don’t have to–” His voice died in the middle of his sentence when he saw the tank-top you were wearing underneath the sweatshirt (which he apparently hadn’t already noticed when you’d been literally getting dressed right next to each other that morning) before he snatched the sweatshirt right out of your hand. The tank-top was pretty low-cut, and you just happened to be going sans-bra (because you hadn’t expected him to be such a wimp about the cold), and he was dead staring. You snapped your fingers in his face.
“Don’t start.” You warned as you took your clipboard back, knowing exactly what was going through his mind. He was practically drooling, and all you could see was the beginnings of your cleavage. He was the least self-controlled person you had ever met.
“I’m not even doing anything.” He protested as he pulled the sweatshirt over his head, immediately pulling down the hem once he had it on in a way that was inconspicuous at all. Your eyes fell to where he was not-so-subtly adjusting himself in his thin swim trunks before you raised an eyebrow in skepticism.
“You need a second there?” You asked dryly, stepping to the side slightly so that the rest of the guys (who weren’t really paying attention, but still) weren’t getting front row seats to Johnny Knoxville’s ill-timed hard-on. He shot you a look, which quickly dissipated into sheepishness as he nodded. You huffed. “You know, I’m supposed to be getting work done right now.”
“Why the fuck did you wear this to work? This is like, the skimpiest fuckin’ shirt ever.” He groaned, reaching out to most-likely pull the collar of your tank-top down like he always did when he was being horny and annoying and then letting out an indignant sound when you stopped him by grabbing his wrist. “C’mon, baby. Let’s take a ten minute break.”
“PJ. No. Get it together, because we’re really fucking busy right now and I don’t have time.” The only reason you snapped was to knock him out of his seeing-your-tits haze, but you could tell by the look on his face and the hand that stayed in his crotch region that you had triggered the opposite response. Perfect.
“You’re making it worse.” He muttered, making a face as he shifted his hips for the millionth time. You could never understand why yelling at him made him so horny. It was actually extremely inconvenient in a professional setting, where you did most of your yelling. You threw a hand in the air.
“Pull the sweatshirt down more. I have to talk to Jeff.” You motioned for him to follow you, and he gave a half-assed complaint before he was trailing after you, looking like a kid who’d been reprimanded in the middle of the store as he fought to keep up with you despite being quite a bit taller.
After a little while of getting back into work, you mostly forgot about the fact that Johnny was shadowing you. Occasionally he would give his two cents (which, most of the time, was not appreciated) or take over the heavy lifting whilst ignoring your protests over the fact, but other than that you were too busy to really pay attention to what he was doing.
That was, until he started to get impatient.
It wasn’t like there was some promise of you getting any alone time. He knew perfectly well that you were too swamped to be pulling away from the rest of the group, and it’s not like you’d done anything to encourage his requests for a break. Yet, somehow, it was like he was waiting for it. And with waiting came horny, bugging-you-constantly impatience.
You were in the middle of doing the last of the test runs with Bam, standing next to him at the top of the ramp with sketch papers from Dave, who had originally come up with the whole idea, as you explained how Bam was going to go down the ramp backwards on his skateboard and not slam his head into the solid wood of the ramp on the way down. However, just as soon as you slid back down to the bottom to re-join everyone who was watching and where Johnny was waiting just underneath the ramp, he was completely in your personal space.
“You look so hot when you’re bossing people around.” He whispered in your ear as he rested his head on your shoulder from behind you, completely ignoring the fact that Lance was not five feet away from the both of you with camera in hand. You turned the headset mic that you were still wearing completely off, because the last thing you needed was every member of the crew getting an in-ear rendition of Johnny trying to get in your pants before you turned back to shoot Johnny a look.
“Babe.” It was vague, but it was still a warning. You and Johnny hardly ever got touchy at work, and you weren’t about to start now despite how little he was concealing what he was trying to get out of you. You also knew that if Bam happened to see the both of you, he was going to make a big deal out of it, and then there was definitely going to be a camera directly in your face.
“God, I wanna see your tits so bad right now.” He was now right behind you with absolutely no room in between your bodies as he blatantly ignored your warning, and you could feel that he was hard. Really hard. And you were standing directly next to a decent-sized group of people. Hell, Novak was literally standing directly above the both of you on the ramp. But Johnny didn’t care. “Come to the trailer and sit on my face.”
“I’m getting a call from Jeff. I’ll be right back.” You needed to get away from Johnny before he convinced you. His filthy words and hands on your hips were making your head buzz, and you really couldn't afford to be pulled away from set. Especially not when you were so high-up in charge for the day. Maybe you could convince Jeff to make Johnny follow him around so that he would undoubtedly lose his hard-on.
Jeff was still in set two with Wee-man and Preston, and he looked surprised when he saw you coming across the grass towards him. His eyes flitted up to the top of your head, and you knew that he had just realized you still had his headset that he’d promised to take back after ‘a quick second’ over two hours before.
“Things smoothing out on your end?” He asked as you neared him, holding his hand out as you removed the headset from your head. You slapped it into his palm, nodding your head and letting both hands drag over your face momentarily.
“Yeah, we’re shooting. Appreciate the world’s most unhelpful assistant, by the way.” You complained, shooting him a look because you knew good and well that he had stuck Johnny with you on purpose. You adored Johnny, and he was an amazing boyfriend who you loved more than life itself, but as a co-worker, he was kind of a nightmare. Jeff immediately played innocent.
“What? You don’t want to work with your own boyfriend?” He scoffed, sliding the headset onto his head and then positioning it in the same place that you’d been wearing it throughout the day. When you just deadpanned at him, he laughed. “I put him with you because he’ll tell you to take a break.”
Oh, he was asking you to take a break, alright. Just not the kind that you would want, Jeff.
Jeff paused suddenly, signaling that someone was talking over the radio signal, only to sigh with an amused look on his face after he’d listened for a second. You could tell by that face that you weren’t going to like what was coming next.
“Speaking of, said boyfriend just hurt himself. He’s calling for you.” Un. Fucking. Believable. You just stared at him for a second, letting that little bit of information wash over you before you let out a dramatic groan and fought the urge to throw your clipboard.
“He’s gonna give me fucking gray hairs. Gray hairs!” You snapped, already reaching for the pack of cigarettes in your back pocket and the lighter in your front. Johnny just existing on the same set as you was like having an entirely separate full-time job. And, even worse, you had no idea whether he was actually hurt or just trying to get you away from everyone else so that he could pull a move on you. Both options were equally as likely. “Where is he?”
“In the trailer, apparently. Icing his ankle.” Jeff sounded a little suspicious at Johnny’s situation, and you silently wondered if he even realized that Johnny hadn’t been a part of a single stunt for over 45 minutes. You clenched your jaw, taking the radio that he handed over upon realizing that you were going to be away from set as he jabbed a finger in your direction. “Don’t forget you’re in charge of like, half of this. Do not be gone for an hour.”
“I’ll be back in like, 15 minutes at most.” You scoffed, waving his assumption that you were going to be a piece of shit like the rest of your co-workers and waste time off with a sour look. “He’s gonna whine for ten minutes and then he’ll be fine.”
You lit a cigarette as you headed around to the back of the barn-turned-warehouse where they had set up a trailer that was for breaks (and was to be used for only breaks), suddenly feeling suspicion starting to hit you a lot harder. There was no way he had called you specifically just to come fuck him while everyone thought he was hurt…right?
Wrong. You should’ve known something was up as soon as Jeff had said that Johnny went to the break trailer instead of the medic. However, it was too late for you to turn back and leave him hard and alone, because he had already locked eyes with you through the trailer window once you came into view. You sighed, not breaking your stride until you were pulling the cheap metal trailer door open.
And, low and behold, there was no ice to be seen.
“You did not just call me so that I would come in here and fuck you.” You said in disbelief as you were met with his pleased little smirk. You took your cigarette out of your mouth and stared him down where he was sitting spread-eagle on the couch without a single care in the world. His smirk only got bigger, and he shrugged.
“You can leave if you want.” He already knew what a pushover you were. You could see it in his eyes. It was especially hard to turn around and walk out after all of his talk about you sitting on his face not ten minutes before. You chewed on your lip, trying to look disapproving but letting poorly-hidden amusement break through as you gave up and locked the trailer door before fixing the one curtain that was open.
“You’re something else, you know that? I am third in charge out of everybody today, and this is the day you decide that you can’t keep it in your pants.” You lectured as you stepped closer to him, mentally nitpicking at the fact that he was sitting on the communal couch in soaking-wet swim trunks.
“Can’t help it. Can’t stop thinking about how good your tits look in that goddamn shirt.” He breathed, eyes watching you like a hawk waiting for long-awaited prey. His eyes were glued to your cleavage, which shone with a thin layer of sweat considering you’d been running around all day, and his lips were slightly parted. “Bet they’d look better out of it.”
“Oh my god. Is there any blood left in your head?” You teased in disbelief at how forward he was being. Usually he relaxed a little bit once the both of you were alone, but his cheeks still hadn’t lost that red tint that had spread through his face when you’d taken off his sweatshirt in the first place.
“It’s where I need it.” He said breathlessly, yanking you forward so that you were clumsily falling into his lap as soon as you were in reaching distance. His lips immediately fell to your chest, where he began to kiss and suck softly. “I’ve been harder’n shit all day because of you.”
“Your swimsuit is soaking through my pants.” You whined, threading your fingers into his hair despite your complaining as you felt cold starting to seep through the ass of your track pants. It was a good thing they were black, because there was no way you were going to be able to lie about what you and Johnny had been doing if there was a huge, wet stain right on your ass. Not suspicious at all.
“Then take them off.” Johnny said simply in response to your whining as he broke away from where he’d been sucking very obvious hickies on the top curve of your tits. There was a thin sheen of saliva coating his lips, and you were finding it harder and harder to maintain your temper in the face of how turned on he was starting to make you.
“Someday you’re going to get me fired.” You grumbled, kissing him as chastely as you could get away with before getting up and off of him so that you could save the only pair of pants you had on set with you from his stupid swim trunks. You felt your heartbeat pick up a little bit as he slowly turned sideways and then laid down on the couch, eyes watching you intently with a you know what I’m doing look on his face as he shoved the shitty trailer-cheap couch pillow behind his head as you quickly untied the string of your pants.
“Might want to play it safe and just ditch everything.” That teasing, shit-eating grin returned at full force as he pointed lazily in your direction, his other hand resting comfortably on top of his stomach. You bit the inside of your cheek, checking one more time to make sure that you’d properly shut all of the curtains before ditching the last of the clothing you had on. He groaned. “You’re gonna make me cum in my fuckin’ pants from all the way over there.”
“Look at me.” As you came back to kneel on the couch next to his hip, you bent down and gave him a slower kiss with a teasing hint of tongue to make sure that he was actually paying attention before cupping his cheek. “You can not keep me here for an hour or else I really will be fired. No teasing.”
“I don’t tease.” He protested, lying out of his ass as he reached out and found your hip so that he could guide you gently into being basically on top of him. His hands then trailed down your back and to your ass, squeezing gently as his eyes shifted back and forth between yours and your lips. “Just ride my face. Please, baby. Need it so bad.”
“Are you sure you don’t want–”
“I don’t want anything else.” He interrupted you before you could even offer to ride him, which was usually one of his favorites. You were a little surprised, because he loved adding things to the menu, and he hardly ever declined more. He was greedy that way. Grinning, you bit his bottom lip softly before you were getting up, not one to deny a wish that you weren’t exactly opposed to.
You barely had time to shift into straddling his head before his hands were coming up to circle over your inner thighs, pulling you down harshly so that your pussy hit his open mouth directly with no warning. You let out a gasp, which only got louder and more drawn out towards a moan as you felt his tongue begin to slowly circle your clit.
You didn’t get to sit on his face often (which was usually because you were too impatient to get his head between your legs), but goddamn did he know what he was doing when you did. His tongue swirled back and forth around your entrance and clit, and his hands on your ass were pushing to encourage you to grind on his tongue.
“Right there. Right there.” You babbled as his lips covered your clit and began to suck. Usually you would at least attempt to hold yourself back, as you were a fan of taking your time and relishing the sight of that pretty face between your legs, but you were on a time crunch, and you knew that he was sucking like that because he knew it would have you shaking and begging the quickest, so you were letting yourself chase your orgasm as fast as you wanted. “God, I fucking love you.”
Suddenly, when you glanced back momentarily and saw the painfully tight tent in his swim trunks, an idea popped into your head. You knew that you weren’t going to be able to push the guilt of him eating you out and then not getting anything in return out of your head, which in turn was going to make you late when you ultimately spent more time fucking him in the trailer on work time, so you came up with a different idea.
“Hold on.” If his tongue hadn’t just been on your clit, you would’ve had the level-headedness to laugh at the irritable whine that Johnny let out when you started to move away. You shushed him, starting to turn around. When you heard his breath hitch as your fingers found the tie of his swim trunks at the same time your legs positioned back on either side of his head in the 69 position, you knew that he had caught on. You turned back to give him a coy grin. “Save time. Plus, I wanna taste you.”
“You’re gonna give me a fucking heart attack, dollface.” You heard him breathe from behind you as you got his swim trunks down enough to let his extremely hard cock spring free of the tight material. The tip was red, and there was precum smeared all over both the inside of the swim trunks and on his actual cock. He let out a slow groan as you swirled your tongue around the slit to clean the precum off, his hips jerking slightly under your weight as he groaned once more before attaching his mouth back to your pussy.
You moaned with your lips against his cock as he resumed sucking harshly, realizing that your teasing of his tip was in no way matching what he was doing to you on the scale of trying to cum around the same time. So, in turn, you took his cock into your mouth, sucking him down slowly and then feeling triumph run through you at the low, shaky moan that he let out against your clit.
You ran your tongue along the vein on the underside of his cock as you bobbed your head, fighting the urge to boast at the fact that you could feel him losing his focus. His lips would pause as he had to take a second every once in a while while you fought your gag reflex so that his tip was hitting the back of your throat with every matched thrust of his hips and bob of your head.
It was getting hard to hold yourself back from cumming right then and there on his tongue. Albeit, you weren’t trying extremely hard, but he had found that sweet-spot rhythm between sucking and licking at your clit that had your legs shaking where you were holding yourself up. It was getting harder and harder to focus on his pleasure and not yours.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Slow down. Slow down. Slow down.” Johnny’s desperate voice reached your ears only because his mouth moved away from your pussy, his tone strained and his hand tightening on your calf where he had been squeezing. You rolled your hips down once as you continued to suck his cock despite his pleas, knowing that even if he was close, you were closer.
You were whining like a pornstar by that point; your fingers fisting into the material of the couch as his mouth went back to your clit once he caught on to what you were asking of him. At that point you were really glad that you had locked the trailer door, because you were both being really loud, and it was the break trailer, after all.
Johnny only had to swirl his tongue over your sensitive clit one more time before you were cumming without warning, the strength that had previously been keeping your back arched for him weakening slightly as you felt a wave of pleasure shoot from your pussy, through your stomach, and up to cloud through your brain.
However, you didn’t have much time to wrap your head around your orgasm before Johnny was bucking his hips up into your mouth, letting out a guttural moan before you felt him spill his release right down your throat. His whole body jerked underneath you, and for a moment you were both groaning and gasping as you came down from your highs at the same time.
“God fucking damn.” Johnny breathed as you slowly pulled off of his cock with a pop!, his whole body jerking as you did so before you were slowly turning so that you could sit up and off of where you were basically laying on his chest.
And god, what a sight he was. His hair was all over the place from when your fingers had been in it, his whole mouth was covered in your wetness and cum, and his eyes were still closed as he caught his breath.
“You still alive?” You asked softly with a smile, sitting down next to him and running your fingers through his hair just to fuck it up some more. No one was going to assume he had sex hair because, well, he always had sex hair. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he leaned into your touch.
“Sometimes I get a little jealous when I think too long about how you got so good at sucking cock.” He muttered in response, eyes slowly opening back up when you got back up to collect your clothes from where you’d discarded them on the floor. You snorted as you started to pull your underwear and sweats back on. You were pleased to see that in the time since you’d taken them off, the pants had dried considerably.
“Maybe it’s because a certain boyfriend of mine can’t keep it in his pants every time he sees skin, and needs to call me for bullshit injuries just so that he can get a little head.” You pointed out, raising an eyebrow at him once you had pulled your shirt back over your head. He chuckled as he re-tied his swim trunks, finally getting up off the couch and then turning back to wince at the huge wet spot his ass had left on the tan couch.
“First of all, I didn’t know you were gonna suck my cock. I just wanted to see you naked.” He hummed, coming up behind you and dipping his lips to your neck before he inhaled softly. “You’re gonna have to wear something over this tank-top, honey.”
“For the last time, PJ. I don’t give a fuck that it’s see-thru.” You groaned, not missing the fact that he was dipping his warm fingers under the hem of said shirt. He laughed again, one hand snaking up your chest and throat before he was tipping your chin forward so that you were staring at the both of you in the mirror that was on the bathroom door.
“I said that because your tits are covered in hickies, Y/n. Unless you want to explain all of this to Jeff.” He explained himself with a hint of snark, kissing up your neck and then across your cheek. You grinned, shoving him away before hurrying to the shared coat closet to see if anyone had left a jacket or sweatshirt inside.
And, jackpot, someone had.
However, just as you were going to reach for a sweatshirt that you had a good feeling was going to have a CKY logo on it, a hand grabbed yours, pulling it away from the sweatshirt. You turned back in surprise to be met with the disapproving stare of your boyfriend.
“Absolutely fucking not.” He shook his head, shutting the door before you could get a word in edgewise. When you threw a hand in the air out of exasperated confusion, he sucked on his teeth. “You’re not wearing some other guy’s sweatshirt after you just had my dick in your mouth.”
Paint a prettier picture, why don’t you?
“PJ, we don’t have time for this. I said I’d be gone for ten minutes and it’s been like, 20.” You whined, trying to open the closet backup and failing miserably against the strength of his hand against the door. He clearly wasn’t budging, his scowl only getting deeper as you tried to reason with him.
“No. You can wear this one.” He said, almost through his teeth. In all honesty, despite the ridiculousness of the situation, it was kind of hot that he was that worked up about you wearing another guy’s clothes. However, you really did need to be getting back to set.
“You’d rather go shirtless and freeze than have me wear one of our friends’ sweatshirts for a couple of hours?” You asked critically, narrowing your eyes at him as you waited for him to hand the sweatshirt over. You were silently putting a reminder in your head to show up in someone else’s clothes someday to see just how much it would piss him off. Hey. He was the one that had called himself jealous in the first place.
“Yes.” He then tore the sweatshirt up and over his head, scowl unwavering as he handed it over to you. You made a face because it was still a little damp, but ultimately took it regardless. “And I don’t give a shit if it’s only for a couple of hours. You’re not walking around smelling like Bam after you just sixty-nined me.”
“Ooh. You’re gonna make me jizz my pants.” You hummed, putting off putting the sweatshirt back on long enough to bite your lip and wrap your arms around his waist. He was standing at his full height like he usually did when he got annoyed, and your chin barely reached his chest. “Get me a ‘Johnny Knoxville’ thong and I’ll wear it every day for the rest of my life.”
“You’re fuckin’ ridiculous, you know that?” He scoffed in disbelief as you pulled him down for a kiss, his lips moving against yours slowly as you inhaled his smell one last time before breaking away from him again.
“Hey. I love you.” You scolded, pulling the sweatshirt over your head and trying to ignore the wet material touching your skin. It would dry quickly once you got back outside, but for now it felt disgusting. The things people do for love. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before letting you slip back into your shoes.
“I love you too, you grumpy asshole.” Tough talk from someone who still had a dirty look on his face over Bam’s sweatshirt, but whatever.
You both re-emerged back onto set fairly quickly, and you were satisfied to see that Jeff barely gave you a second glance as he handed back the clipboard that you’d left with him when you’d gone to look at Johnny’s ‘hurt ankle’.
“Bam and Novak are almost done shooting their stunt, and everyone’s still watching, so I was about to head over.” Jeff filled you in, half on his phone and half talking to you. You were glad he was addicted to texting, because if not he would’ve noticed the fact that you now had Johnny’s sweatshirt back on and Johnny’s ankle clearly wasn’t injured.
However, once everyone was together crowded around the ramp to watch Bam and Novak finish off their stunt, Ryan was immediately next to you and leaning to whisper in your ear.
“Next time you two are gonna act like horny teenagers in the middle of a work day, try not to do it in the shared trailer that isn’t sound-proofed.”
Fuck. Busted.
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xx-key-xx · 1 year
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I’m back.
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bluetoycar · 2 years
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them <3
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itspanimi · 2 years
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this mp4 has been bouncing around different editing softwares and apps since i heard someone made a jackass version so without further ado, i giveth thee: learn the alphabet with viva la bam 🕺 (can you tell i love season 1 and s2 e2 dating don vito)
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My Official Masterlist:
I figured it was about time I compiled a list of all of my published fics! This covers all of the boys I write for from Jackass, the CKY videos, and Viva La Bam. The boys are listed in alphabetical order! This will be updated after each fic is published. Any fics I write using one of the boys characters (from Haggard, Minghags, etc) will go under their heading but will also go under a separate heading for whatever movie the character is from.
Currently Taking Commissions
Rules for Requesting
People I Write For
Important Note: ao3 account
Jackass/CKY/Viva La Bam Members:
Bam Margera
NSFW Alphabet: Bam Margera
Bam Being Forced to Fuck You As A Punishment [Smut]
Bam’s Kinks-Headcanons and Short Blurbs
He’s My Thing (Sub!Bam Margera x Reader) [Smut]
Perfect Shot (Sub!Bam Margera x GN! Reader) [Smut]
Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]
Shut Up (Bam Margera x Reader) [Smut]
Sucking Bam Off From Behind—Short Imagine
Untitled Sub Bam Smut Drabble
Up Against The Shower Wall (Sub! Bam Margera x Reader) [Smut]
What’s My Line Again? (Bam Margera x Reader x Brandon Novak) [Smut]
Brandon DiCamillo
NSFW Alphabet: Brandon DiCamillo
Jealous Dico x Reader Smut Drabble (Untitled)
Laughter (Dico x Reader Drabble) [Light Smut]
Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]
Short Dico x Reader Smut Drabble (Untitled)
Sometimes (Dico x Reader Smut Drabble)
Dating Brandon DiCamillo (Dico) Would Include
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]
You’re Fucking Disgusting (Brandon DiCamillo x GN! Reader) [Smut]
Brandon Novak
NSFW Alphabet: Brandon Novak
Drool (Sub! Brandon Novak x Reader Smut Drabble) [Dumbification]
How The CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Named in Bed (Smut Drabble)
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]
What’s My Line Again? (Bam Margera x Reader x Brandon Novak) [Smut]
Chris Pontius
NSFW Alphabet: Chris Pontius
Dave England
NSFW Alphabet: Dave England 
Ehren McGhehey (Danger Ehren)
NSFW Alphabet: Ehren McGhehey/Danger Ehren (Jackass)
Short Sundresses and Melted Ice Cream (Danger Ehren x Reader) [Fluff]
Jess Margera
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]
Being Bam’s Best Friend Who Has A Crush on Jess Would Include:
Joe Frantz
NSFW Alphabet: Joe Frantz
Fairy Wings (Joe Frantz x Reader Smut Drabble)
How the CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Names (Smut Drabble)
Joe Frantz Smut Drabble-Body Worship
Put Me In A Movie (Joe Frantz x Reader) [Smut]
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]
The Viagra Story (Joe Frantz x Reader) [Smut]
Johnny Knoxville
NSFW Alphabet: Johnny Knoxville
Be My Baby (Johnny Knoxville x Plus Sized! Reader) [Fluff]
Don’t Be A Tease (Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]
Get A Life! (Johnny Knoxville x Bam Margera’s Sister! Reader) [Smut]
Hello, Nurse (Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]
This Has Got To Stop (Married!Cheater!Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]
Underwater Exploration (Dom! Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]
Lord Bottaro
NSFW Alphabet: Lord Bottaro
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]
Raab Himself
NSFW Alphabet: Chris Raab/Raab Himself
Hot And Ready, Just Like Our Pizza (Chris Raab/Raab Himself x Reader) [Smut]
How The CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Names in Bed (Smut Drabble)
Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]
Suck It And See (Sub!Chris Raab/Raab Himself x Reader) [Smut]
The Anniversary Surprise (Sub! Raab x Reader) [Smut]
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]
Rake Yohn
NSFW Alphabet: Rake Yohn
He Blinded Me With Science (Mad Scientist!Rake Yohn x Reader) [Smut Drabble]
How the CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Names in Bed (Smut Drabble)
Old Man (Rake Yohn x Reader Smut Drabble)
Quiet Time (Dom!Rake Yohn x Reader) [Smut]
Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]
The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]
Ryan Dunn
NSFW Alphabet: Ryan Dunn
Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]
Shove It (Ryan Dunn x Sub!Reader) [Smut]
Stay On Task (Dom!Ryan Dunn x Reader) [Smut]
Steve-O
Coming soon!
Minghags Characters:
Non-Pairing Fics/Female Jackass Member Fics:
Being A Female Jackass Member Who’s Childhood Best Friends With Bam and Ryan Would Include:
My Jackass Girl Idea
What A Female Jackass Member Would Be Like (Except She’s As Mean and Gross As the Rest of the Guys)
Related to But Not From Jackass and Viva La Bam:
Jimmy Pop
NSFW Alphabet: Jimmy Pop
When I Go Down On You (Jimmy Pop x Reader) [Smut Drabble]
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dcrlvz · 11 months
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cky bam has me in a chokehold
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bambimargera · 1 year
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More Rare Pics Of The Boys
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very y/n photographer vibes with these ones I love it
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babybammargera · 2 years
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Thinking about my himbo bfs
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They're so perfect.
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slashrrr · 1 year
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Jackass/CKY/Viva La Bam headcanons - Being a Dad - Ryan Dunn, Rake Yohn, Brandon Dicamillo, Raab Himself, Brandon Novak, Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O and Chris Pontius
(based off what i think)
Ryan Dunn:
-Will spoil and cherish your kids
-if you have girls he will call them princess
-you got boys he will call them buddy
-will want 3-4 kids so they will never be lonely
-during pregnancy he will help you with anything and will get anything you want, McDonald's at 2am? He's getting it, need to sit down but dont have any seats? Sit on his lap, he will baby you until the kid arrives.
Rake Yohn:
-This man is the definition of daddy, he is so good to you when your pregnant, after you give birth, basically in general he is the best
-lets be honest, this man looks like he has a breeding kink.
-will probably want like 2 kids or 3 but not too many - like ryan he doesnt want them to be lonely.
-he wont spoil them but he will definitely give them lots of stuff, not too much to the point to were they are spoiled though.
-baby is crying in the middle of the night? Dont worry hes already getting up
Brandon Dicamillo:
-probably a very fun dad
-i feel like he would want only 2 kids just so one can be a mummys kid and one can be a daddys kid
-he will take them everywhere and anywhere, they wanna go to the amusement park? Start packing your bag.
-he will set his foot down on occasion, but mostly leaves the lecturing to you
Raab Himself:
- would be the shy dad, got a conference with the kids teacher? You get to do the talking.
-you guys will probably have 1 kid but with him it feels like you have 2, because he is just as immature
-he is a good dad though, he may be a bit immature but he will help with the kid, and he will be very good when you are pregnant.
Brandon Novak:
-depends if this is the 2000s or after he gets sober, if he's sober, he's gonna be great but if its in the 2000s he will be a bit iffy but he will still be a decent dad.
-once he is finally sober though he's gonna be great, and especially if you have been there for him through everything he's gonna be so in love with you and is gonna cherish your guys' little family
-hes gonna want 2 kids and will do so many fun things with them, if they want to go to a fair then he will win them a bunch of prizes.
-he just loves seeing their cute little faces light up.
Johnny Knoxville:
-he will love bringing the kids to the set just to show off his awesome kids and wife/girlfriend
-will definitely bring souvenirs home for you and the kids
-will get you to take pictures of him and the kids with the rest of the jackass crew and will put then into an album
-he will cook pancakes at 9am in the morning and will wear an apron that makes him look like a housewife.
-he will get the kids to help prank you, but hey all in good fun!!
Steve-O:
-not sure what to write for Steve-O but he will prob want 1 kid and would be the dad who has the cool music sessions with his kid in the car
-if your kid isn't sleeping he will drive them around in the car to get them to sleep.
-when he does crazy stunts and his kid asks about them he will tone it down and act like it wasn't crazy because he doesnt want the kid to worry about him
Chris Pontius:
-doesn't let the kids come to set all the time beacuse some acts have the cast be naked and he doesnt want the kids to see that at a young age.
-will probably want 2 kids
-overall a pretty good dad
-loves doing Halloween with them and dressing up
Ty for reading - i hope it was good and you guys liked it!! :)
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