#brii rambles

[starcloud-nova]

PLEASE ramble to me about your OCs I am 👀👀👀

Catla this ask has been sitting in my inbox for so long that it has gotten EMBARASSING but I will move past all that and take this opportunity you have given me. Thank u. This ended being 2k+ words and it’s late and I’m tired of half-assedly proofreading so I am putting it out into the world.

Some preface before we get into it (there are a lot of prefaces bear with me!): The story of my original OCs (just 2-3 characters) was “what if there was a character, and she was adopted by [character I am too embarrassed to name], and there was found family.” This was the end goal. Everything else was backstory. They started off as Marvel OCs, then BNHA, then Haikyuu, then Black Clover, then DC, before I finally decided that they were too far removed from any canon to fit into a preexisting story and finally made them just original characters.

By the time I hit DC OCs’, I decided I needed a team of people for my main OCs (siblings) to be friends and allied with, to juxtapose the batfam, so I created a plethora of OCs to go along with them. Suddenly we had a lot of characters, and I needed to thread them all together. I developed my own dynamics, backstories, and other details for all of these characters. 

Instead of starting with an archetype or trope (hothead, scarecrow, hero, rebel, sunshiney, miserable, etc), I started with different events or moments in their lives. Essentially, I went backward, deciding key events before personality (kind of like how real life works…) This is what makes it so hard to describe my OCs to people. There isn’t just a set of keywords I can pull out of nowhere*, like “happy-go-lucky” or “angry” because they react differently in different situations. The only way to know the full range of my characters is to…know them.

*This is for most of my OCs. some of them I never developed as much, so they’re a little more black and white. Looking at you, Kicks.

That was a lot of ramble (it’s well past 1am as I write this) but to boil it down, the reason why i shared all of this information is this: My OCs are not ‘characters’ to me. They are people. They are so complex and have rich histories and aren’t just moodboards or aesthetics to me. And there’s no single plotline that I follow through either (more on this later**), because there is no overarching plot throughout their entire lives. Conflicts get resolved, or there are multiple at once, just like how someone can have both school and home life drama at once.

No, I don’t know their favorite songs, or movies, or colors, or what their ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ are. Yes, I know that Daiken would never ever speak to Brii again after everything, and he would definitely fight her if they ever met again, but he still picked up the phone when she called because he knew that she would only call him if it was important. And it was.

Sorry,. I am so normal abt my OCs. no one will read this post LMAO but . oh well. Already at 500 words and no sign of the end.

So the most basics are this:

For the sake of this post, ‘canon’ is at this point in time: Sachi Kojima (she) (16) lives with her three brothers, her twin Kazuki (he) (16), younger (half-)brother Kaito (he) (11), and elder brother Daiken (he) (21). Daiken is their legal guardian and took custody of them when he was 18, after The Incident™ when their severely abusive father (who was also a crimelord) was arrested. Her mother died when she was 4. 

Remember that thing I mentioned about the crimelord? Yeah, so as it turns out [bear with me this is the least plausible part of the story] all of the local bigger criminals/crimelords in the area…participate in ‘bring your kid to work day’, like, most days. Yeah, yeah I know. All of the Criminals™ are lowkey training their kids to follow in their footsteps and take them with them to places but also leave them in this old ass conference room for hours at a time I DONT KNOW it doesnt sound plausible to me either. Anyways. Jokingly, this group of kids call themselves the ‘Junior Murderers Club’ and they fuck around and do a whole lot of Nothing and bond while their parents talk about crime and get drunk and shit. They also call themselves ‘Sixes’ because they’re either six inches away [from their parent] or six rooms away, unless they wanna be six feet under…haha.

This group of kids exists in the ‘pre-canon’ of the story (from when Daiken was 12-17) and consists of: 

Daiken Kojima (he/him) (age 14 for reference)

Former team leader

Original codename: Moonstrike

Current codename: Redpoint

Maisie “Maze” Morian (she/her) (15) [deceased]

Codename: Freyja

Brielle “Brii” Hayes (she/her) (14)

Codename: Widow

Jacob Myers (he/they) (14)

Codename: Nightlight

James “Jamie” Moreno (he/him) (13) [deceased]

Codename: Piccolo

[Deadname] “Amelie” Espinosa (she/they) (12)

Original codename: Torito

Current codename: Mariposa

Lorena Inés “LS” Sauly (she/they) (12) 

do NOT call her by her first name or they will kill u

Codename: Siren

[Deadname] “Kicks” Hall (they/them) (11)

Codename: Kicks

Daiken is one of the few people that can still get away with calling Kicks ‘KJ’, their old nickname derived from their deadname + their codename, Kicks.

Azarus “Azz” Adams (he/him) (10)

Codename: Merlin

Best friends w/Kazuki (currently 17), also hates his first name lol

They are all trauma buddies and went on missions together n stuff and they all mostly*** hated their parents. After Sachi + co. (her siblings) escape their situation, they all kind of break off, and eventually they form the Information League, or the IL, or just… no name at all because I’m still not satisfied with that one.

***EXCEPT Brii who was treated quite well by her father and was brainwashed/manipulated into believing that what they did was okay in some capacity. She is essentially Daiken’s narrative foil and I love her to death. She is the worst. Stupid gay bitch <3

One of the previous generations of Sixes is Perria Dawson (she/her, codename: Delphi), who is ten years older than Daiken (so in canon, 31) who watched silently from the shadows, collected information, and slowly worked her way out of the complicated network of crime that she was entrapped in to eventually Get Out. She specialized in information gathering and staying under the radar. The IL’s base is a warehouse that her father used to own but sorta kinda forgot about, so she took over it when she got away from him and made it HQ. Notably, it has a big open space with high ceilings that they call the Fly, short for flyspace, a few rooms out of the way (kind of hidden) that she lives in with her kids (see below) part-time, and high rafters with those criss-crossy metal ladder things that are a bunch of X’s and stuff. 

In current canon, she’s a programmer or something like that and works a day job and while she’s cool with calls, everyone else feels bad for mooching off of her, so she’s Not to be disturbed during this time. She is my Deus ex machina. Anytime something goes Majorly wrong, someone always has to say the line “I’m calling Perria”. 

Perria also has the habit of picking up strays lmao and later takes in Manha Latif (she her, codename: Trebleclef, 15 in canon), my little meow meow who was not a Six but had a much beloved older brother who disappeared after dealing with some fucked up shit, so she got a little toooo involved in the nightlife and the IL got involved and now she’s one of them. Her brother (Binyamin) is probably dead rip and during all of this mess, her mom goes back overseas to Pakistan and is currently living there, so Perria was like “yea dude I’ll take you in”, so she lives with Perria

A year and a half later, she adopts the strangest fuckin little kid who talks like an adult and doesn’t know her name and appears from the shadows when you call for her and oh shit she’s probably magic or something. When you let a six-year-old pick their own name they will generally pick shit like Andromeda (or Anna for short). They refer to her as ‘The Kid™’ or ‘Star’ in the field.

Other character info I didn’t mention:

Sachi’s codename is ‘Scapegoat’ to reclaim her identity as the childhood scapegoat, because “everything’s always my fault, isn’t that right? 🙄”

Kazuki’s and Kaito’s I am still not completely satisfied with. I have spent many walks home contemplating something that doesn’t sound like a 12 year old came up with but it is hard I tell you. Kaito doesn’t really go into the field much anyway because everyone is determined to not traumatize him anymore than he already is but the name I picked for him is Gear. Kazuki is Steel.

If anyone has suggestions, my criteria are that Kazuki’s starts with an S (to match his sister) and sounds somewhat physics-y or steampunk/cyberpunky. Kaito’s is so weird that anything works really but he likes animals and will probably be a vet so keep that in mind. Also reminder he is 11.

Now that most of my characters are out of the way it’s time to explain the **many plotlines that I have going on. When I come up with scenarios in my mind, they fit into the below categories. Essentially, if I wanted to actually sit down and tell the story of these kids, these are the options that I have.

One: The Early Days (2011-2019) 

The abuse Daiken, Sachi, Kazuki, and Kaito faced at the hands of their father for 8 years. This is either from Sachi’s or Daiken’s point of view. 

Sachi has the unique experience of being the scapegoat and most hated child and also only girl (which is important here as well as later****). Also goes into Sachi’s relationship with her best friends (Bianca/Bia (she), who she was probably in love with [or was she?] and Trey (he)), her twin, lying pathologically to all the adults in her life, her anger issues, and more. 

Daiken has the experience of being the eldest child forced to look after his siblings while work alongside his father on missions and meeting people as well as maintain his grades to escape to medical school and a better future. He’s a lil parentified. Lol. 

Two: Daiken as a Six (2013-2018) 

Trigger warning for child death in this one.

The struggles that Daiken experienced before escaping his father at 18 (when he got arrested). This mainly focuses on how Brii is his narrative foil as well as goes into more detail on the missions he went on with LS and Jacob and Jamie and Azz. When Daiken was 14, he was going through his father’s computer, and accidentally discovers that Jamie had died a few weeks prior, at only 13. This devastates him, and while he was already against the work he was forced into, the circumstances of Jamie’s death (at the hands of one of Jamie’s father’s employees in the mob, used brutally as a human shield), radicalizes him, and he ends up toe-to-toe with the ever-loyal Brii. Brii is like Daiken but her father actually loves her deeply and manipulates/abuses her differently. Years later, Maze (who Brii was secretly in love with) dies at 19, protecting Brii on a mission, and while this would have radicalized Daiken, this only further cements in Brii’s eyes that what they are doing is the way to keep the most people safe. This story is really interesting and nuanced in a lot of ways.

Three: To Grow Again (TGA)/After (2019-) 

The story of Sachi and her siblings’ lives after they’re taken out of their father’s custody and transferred into Daiken’s care a few months later. Mostly a story of healing and setbacks as Sachi experiences loss, works through trauma, adjusts to a new way of life, and also forms close bonds with the IL. This is the Good Ending

An AU of this: Daiken becomes a teen dad and shares custody of his daughter Aika with her mom. This is mostly fluffy slice of life stuff and isn’t canon to anything. 

Another AU of this: I like to play with a roleswap/reverse siblings so that everyone is backward in age. I haven't played with this concept as much so feel free to ask more abt this.

Four: The Dimension Girls (2020-) 

Eventually I got bored of the happily ever after stuff so I gave Sachi the power to travel between dimensions and made her a guardian of the planet Earth. I have a lot of lore I’m still working on (ATSV gave me so many good ideas, but also hey I already had the ‘anomaly’ concept!) but I’ve tried to distinguish between dimensions, universes, and smaller changes in dimensions. That’s a different post. 

Sachi and two other girls****, Allison (Aussie, she/they, 19) and Imogen (Irish, she/her, 16) are meant to help dimensional anomalies, act as ambassadors to other dimensions, and protect the dimension from threats. I used the concept of the 5 senses, where Allison is sight, Sachi is hearing, and Imogen is taste (which I decided includes gasses/the lungs). There are 5 senses, obviously, but I decided that the other 2 girls haven’t activated their powers yet, so right now, Sachi’s Earth doesn’t have all of its guardians, making the burden greater on the three. Not every dimension uses the 5 senses in their powers, or even has the same rules for picking guardians. In this dimension, the guardian powers are passed through the girl in the bloodline (trans-inclusive! Which is why none of the others can be transfemme and Sachi can’t be transmasc lol) until there isn’t one, then it jumps to a new family. There’s some fun horror where these senses sometimes cross over and they can experience things from other dimensions (phantom hearing, vision, smoke in Im’s lungs, etc). There’s also this mirror dimension where they go and blah blah I don’t feel like explaining.

I love doing crossovers so when I do those I just make it a dimensional thing. I tried staying away from the ‘fantasy structure is just a bureaucracy hierarchy’ concept because I hate it, but there are also beings with more power, like Cosmic/Cozy who is an inter-dimensional higher being who steps in when situations get dire. Pronouns pending because I can’t decide between they/them and he/she so y’all can help me out with that as well.

An AU of this: Sachi also gets stuck in timeloops sometimes, caused by her powers somehow. I have fun with it. This one is more canon than the other AU I have, and I headcanon that she wears a watch that beeps at 11:50 pm and again at midnight because when she loops it’s always at midnight, and she can get her bearings at 11:50 pm so that if she ends up looping, she’s somewhere safe and can remember what she was doing at the time to avoid suspicion of the others. It’s a vibe.

Another AU of this: Sachi keeps getting dreams of treading water in an endless ocean as her mother calls out to her and tells her it’s okay + something ominous about where to find her/info about her death. Every time Sachi wakes up, water materializes out of nowhere and she awakens drenched and exhausted, a pool of water around her. This period of time would be either on and off for a few months or for a few weeks straight. She sets an alarm for every 20 minutes so that when she sleeps, she never starts dreaming. She’s constantly exhausted and is living hell for this period of time until the dreams stop.

I think that’s all of the information about my OCs and To Grow Again, the name I picked for their story. This was a lonnggggg post so I will not be surprised if no one reads this. If you made it this far and read most of it, leave a goat emoji in the replies <3. Thank you for letting me rant Catla!!!!! Hope you all enjoyed lol. There is so much information still in my brain, resting, that I have not released yet, so if you have any questions, please hmu with an ask!!! I am obsessed and will respond.

peace ✌️

[108garys]

@kassiekolchek22 @mistmoose @delurkr @lonnitamongus @maria-rayro @eddie-brii @blubary @timethehobo

So here's my first attempt at a full outfit to go with charlie's "golden fool tears" mask, I like it for the most part but I think it needs some tweaking(rambling undercut)

tried to balance clown aspects with the more refined ones because there's no way Charlie was gonna be a formless clown blob like a lot of the photos of 1800s clowns were like, I did see these clowns that had form fitting stripped one pieces and I decided to split the difference, so I'm trying to balance the sharper lines with the softer more rounded qualities(as to continue matching and contrasting Du'met), I don't think I like the sleeves though, conceptually I like the idea but I'm not sure about the exact execution(I think it's the forearm part that's bothering me) at any rate I'll continue refining and if anyone else likes the concept enough to do their own iteration of love to see it

[briirens]

the truth...

Gather around the campfire, dear followers, as I tell you a story about courage and strength. And why I haven’t been too active.

Back in January, I was Baker Acted. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it is when you a deemed a threat to yourself and you stay in a mental hospital for 72 hours (three days). It is completely scary, and it can be traumatizing. Now, you can voluntarily go in or be involuntarily taken there. I was the second one. Imagine a 19 year old college student who had just suffered a mental breakdown in handcuffs, being taken from her college campus at 9 in the evening.

I was so scared to call my parents, because I didn’t want them getting angry that I couldn’t figure life out myself. I was in the middle of trying to register for the new semester as my school basically hit me with a 9 thousand dollar fee for my first semester, something they had never mentioned before. I was completely stressed and didn’t know what to do. Plus, I am a very emotional person.

My boyfriend wasn’t talking to me at the time, as he did this ignoring shit when he would cheat on me. It would be a couple of weeks to almost two months, depending on how he was feeling. My naive little ass forgave around new year’s, as he was my first boyfriend. Ironically, I was missing the idea of him… Not him (red flags!!!). My best friend was attending in college at Boston, and my roommate was somewhere on campus. I was alone.

I am not going to go into details about the three days at the mental hospital, but I will tell you this. If it weren’t for the nice people I have met there (nurses and patients), I probably wouldn’t have gotten out when I did. They pushed me to get better and fix myself.

After being dumped the day I got out of the hospital, being kicked out of school for not being able to pay 9k on the spot, having another boyfriend who would cheat on me and dump me, working at a restaurant with the worst pay, going on dates with busted guys, and just not feeling like a person

I am here.

Here as in: living, surviving, thriving, working, talking, listening, smiling, laughing. I have surrounded myself with people who care about me. I work somewhere that pays me more and allows me to be open with my bosses. I am pushing myself to go back to school. I am doing what makes me happy.

Because life isn’t about falling into the same routine and getting bored, living in fear and not taking chances. Life is about taking risks (not too risky now), beating to your own drum, experiencing every aspect of it. You will be broken, hurt, torn, and dumped. You will be put back together, breathe, and see colors brighter. 

I am no longer starving myself nor am I letting negative thoughts plague my mind. I am free as one can be.

Remember, the most beautiful rainbows are the ones right after shower storms. You can and will get through any obstacle you are facing... I believe in you.

xoxo, 

     brii <3

[dangertheorist]

I should probably use this more often ngl, I miss the tumblr dash scrolling days

[wanderinghellkitten]

Pink tulip Pink rose, Yellow rose, Holly, Yellow carnation, Bronze chrysanthemum,Pink carnation for her house cat

Flower crown for a cat

Pink tulip: CaringPink rose: Admiration/appreciationYellow rose: FriendshipHolly: Domestic happinessBronze chrysanthemum: ExcitementPink carnation: Gratitude 

One very excited housecat then. Well… very excited might be an understatement. Having a minor seizure might be more accurate. She’s… really touched. And rambling.

“That’s… for me? G- Aaaaaaaah…. words can’t… working not… God I love you right now! Are you sure you aren’t at least bi? What do you want for your birthday this year? How about Christmas? How about a nice homemade feast instead of all that fast food! I’ve been learning to make Beef Wellingtons… if you’re interested? I mean, I know it is British food so it might not be the best but it’s a traditional Christmas dish, I think? Ah, but first I gotta…”

She immediately leans forwards in her tiny humanoid form and smooches Brii on the cheek.

“Love you~”

[shirosquared-old]

Hey computer can you maybe not restart without warning to do updates while I'm trying to write a post thanks

[surroundedbythelonely]

I started writing this for @jurassic-hoe a decade ago, but I still haven’t finished it. But I still wanna post part of it so they can have something to show,,,,

Anyway this is a snippet about a little playdate between Kenny and Butters. Click read more to give it a go!

Briiing, Briiing! Briiing, Briiing!

Hearing the phone ring, Butters jumped up from his spot on the floor. He had been playing with his toy cars, the red and blue set respectfully, and wasn’t really expecting a call from what he knew of. His parents weren’t home, off on some other kind of adventure that he was glad he wasn’t part of. Normally, he wasn’t allowed to answer the phone. It he’d go near it, he’d hear a big old wallop of “Not again, Mister!” before he’d be sent off to his room for yet another grounding. Really, he thought, if he was grounded again, he didn’t think he had room in his coloring book to keep him occupied. But, since his parents weren’t there, and he was the man of the house instead of his dumb old dad, he thought he could answer the phone.

Picking it up, he was surprised to hear the muffled exclamation of somebody or another on the other side. Smiling to himself, Butters couldn’t hide the joy in his voice when he yelled the name of his favorite friend in school. The voice on the other side was none other than Kenny, the only good person at South Park Elementary, and the closest thing Butter’s had to a best friend. It was surprising, really, to hear anybody calling to the house like this, but now that Butter’s knew it was Kenny, he had no fear of getting in trouble with his parents for this one. It was worth it, he decided, to hear the muffled exclamations of his orange friend. Speaking of which, he was missin’ everything Kenny was saying!

Quickly snapping his attention back to the phone, he began to nod at every little thing he heard. Really, it was hard to understand the quiet exclamations of the other boy, but he could get by enough to at least try to figure out what he was saying. It was something about a fike…..no, no. A trike? But, Kenny didn’t have a trike, so….he must mean a bike! A bike, a bike, a bike!! Well, hamburgers, Kenny must want to go on a bike ride! Upon his discovery, Butters gave a little giggle, and reassured Kenny that he would love to go on a bike ride with him. Hearing a slightly louder exclamation than usual, Butters giggled even louder, excited that he had managed to guess exactly what Kenny was saying this time. Usually, he tried his best, but he hadn’t been so successful at the beginning. Now that he and Kenny were best friends, though, he got the answer right every time! He made a note to himself to make a mark in his Kenny Chart, a little thing he had made for himself to keep track of his friendship with the other boy. It just made Butters feel so warm inside to know that he could be such a good friend to, well, anybody really.

Listening for Kenny’s next directions, Butters was happy to find that the park was their destination. Oh, how Butters loved the park! It had the coolest swings, and the slide was the fastest one around! Oh, and along the side where the merry-go-round was, he could find the best little flowers to take home and put in his collection and….. Boy, was it gonna be fun to go to the park with Kenny! All Butters could do was stand there and nod his head up and down, up and down. He was so excited he could barely move. But! He had to answer Ken of course. He giggled into the phone again, exclamations of glee leaving his mouth in ramblings that he was sure Kenny could never understand. He continued to ramble, causing the other line to erupt into a fit of giggles much like his own. They continued on, giggling like a bunch of critters on helium at the dentist, and he felt like he had never been happier.

[tyrphi]

oc rambling under cut

-Brienne Cousland (can u guess the insp for her lol) is just a shy lil warrior who wants to try her best. Her nickname is Brii

-While she eventually is with Morrigan, when Zev first shows up they have a lil fling. She can’t say no to his flirting. They end it amicably and she and Zev are best friends after, but Morrigan likes to tease them about it.

-Brii goes into a platonic political marriage with Alistair bc she cannot stand the injustices in Fereldan and wants to help her people. 

-She’ll occasionally leave for a few months to visit Morrigan and Kieran. Other times, the court will notice a pretty elf and her child dining with the royals. (also, Morrigan your mother is Mythal why didnt bioware make you an elf???)

-She doesn’t become inquisitor because she can do better directly helping her people. Also, at that point, she is a little tired of end-of-the-world disasters and hopes someone else will take care of it. 

[iamthezodiackiller]

I have lately been seized by this feeling of deep and inspired melancholy, a series of images and experiences I wish to translate into words. 

But I can’t, is the thing. I don’t know when or where my creativity dried up, but it’s like no matter how inspired I feel I can’t produce a cohesive story, a readable poem, or a completed song. My laptop at this point is filled with pages and pages of what I consider to be completely useless drivel. I have multiple rambling chapters on Virginia Beach, on the time period when I lived with Brii and Andy and Macey, on Brii’s pregnancy, on my own shitty relationship, on my family. Countless tidbits of poems and songs that don’t translate the feeling they’re meant to confer. All of it is worthless, wholly and completely.  I don’t know if I’m just out of practice, or if maybe I haven’t been reading enough. Or perhaps a deeper problem not so easily fixed (this one I suspect is the truth): That since about three years ago I have not been living my life. I haven’t. Since being with Avery I have hardly written a goddamn word. The last good piece of work I produced was shortly before we got together, and I didn’t even fucking finish it because meeting her distracted me so. I have been living in a self-imposed cocoon that I have no idea how to break free from. I have been longing desperately as of late for those moments of realism and clarity that accompany being out in the world and experiencing new things. I just have no idea how to get back to who I was, much less someone better. 

It’s a vicious cycle, really. I m without purpose, and so without words. And without words I am without purpose. And on and on it goes until I’ve spiraled down this self-loathing rabbit hole. 

[briirens]

I’m telling y’all right now, college parties are hella wild

[briirens]

Life Updates

So I don't really put like my life up here, cause quite frankly it's either boring or dramatic, but a lot of good things have been happening. Since I don't update anything like I used to, I decided to just give a small insight.

I traveled this summer, and it was quite honestly relaxing. While I was spending time with some family members, I was given the opportunity to go into New York City. So that means I got to see some dope mummies and I was able to trace some family members at Ellis Island. 

Then I found someone who I never saw coming. Now, anyone can tell you how boy crazy I can be. And some guys in my life caused me to go to hell and back in terms of emotions. However, this new guy... He is something else. We’re opposites, I will not conceal that. But we are both goofy people who really can nap in each other’s presence. I thought you had to really look when it came to love. It seems that love tends to find you first. 

Now I am getting ready to go to college in literally 15 days, and I have never been so excited. My roommate and I are like the same person and we are both studying the same major. I am getting good vibes. 

Over the past couple of months, I have realized that life is up to your choices. Sometimes it comes down to cutting toxicity out of your life. 

Write your own story. I promise you won’t regret it. 

[briirens]

.:Life Updates:.

- So Hurricane Irma totally engulfed the state I live in, Florida, over the weekend. My family and I were able to (1) get into a shelter, (2) get a room to ourselves [cos seven people and six animals], (3) come back to our house that was completely untouched during the storm. BLESSED!

- College has been going so well! I'm slowly starting to create this nice group of friends, my classes are good, and my professors are so nice. My university also has free counseling, so I am definitely taking advantage of that during my stay.

- TODAY I am celebrating my one month with my lovely boyfriend. We've had our ups and downs, but we putting together a beautiful castle of our relationship. He taught me a lot of things already. Not only does he make me feel genuinely beautiful, but he unknowingly showed me that I cannot change other people. I can't have others deal with my problems when I don't want to. He's been with me through a lot already and just him being there... It's a good sign!

- I'm honestly just piecing together a gorgeous puzzle. Life is going so well, no matter how much I'll complain, and I just feel good. This is an actual time I feel like myself. Who I want to be. At this point of my life, it's a chance for me to really reshape myself. Decide what I want, what I need to do, and where I wanna go.

I am sending good vibes to all of you lovelies <3

[briirens]

My boyfriend gave me a hint for the birthday present: "It has to do with Leo because that's both of our zodiac signs." HE. MAKES. ME. SOB.

[briirens]

A thing with having a new hair color is going to the bathroom after you wake up and almost screaming from your reflection

[briirens]

tagged by my Fake French Babe @lil-dorkling​

Bold all that applies: (**Anything in ‘[...]’ is my note)

I am 5′7″ or taller [fun fact i’m 5′3] I wear glasses [what a life] I have at least one tattoo [#soon] I have at least one piercing [i’m a pussy when it comes to pain] I have blonde hair [it’s bleached] I have brown eyes [they are so dark, they look black] I have short hair [i haven’t cut my hair in three years] My abs are at least somewhat defined [THANK YOU COMPETITIVE CHEERLEADING] I have or have had braces [yea no thank you] There is something I would change about the way I look [i mean, where is the lie] My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin [my friends didn’t know why until i began talking] I am an introvert [i mean i guess i kinda am??] I like meeting new people [it depends on the situation but i’m very shy at first] People tell me that I’m funny [i honestly don’t get why, i’m not that funny] Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me [the minute you tell me you need help, I AM THERE] I enjoy physical challenges [cheerleading really pushes you] I enjoy mental challenges [no] I’m playfully rude with people I know well [you can’t be friends with me or date me without knowing i will be do this] I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it [half of my speech] There is something I would change about my personality [like less annoying and more badass] I can sing [psh] I can play an instrument [psshh] I can do over 30 pushups without stopping [one time in cheerleading, we had to do 80 pushups five times in a row] I’m a fast runner [bruh i have asthma and like croak while running] I can draw well [that’s a joke] I have a good memory [i can’t remember big details but i’ll remember small details] I’m good at doing math in my head [i failed math] I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute [refer to asthma comment] I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling [do my siblings count?] I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch [i started cooking when i was 9] I know how to throw a proper punch [i know how to kick] I enjoy playing sports [tennis / soccer / competitive cheerleading - you tell me] I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else [i was] I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else [refer to comments above] I have learned a new song in the past week [psssh] I work out at least once a week [i do cardio in heels] I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months [warm is humid as fuck in Florida] I have drawn something in the past month [i can’t even draw a potato] I enjoy writing [I DO AND I HAVE MANY FICS OKAY] Fandoms are my #1 passion [eh] I do or have done martial arts [i would injure myself] I have had my first kiss [i did not like it and i don’t like talking about it] I have had alcohol [pro tip: be a good kid] I have scored the winning goal in a sports game [came close many times] I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting [can’t go wrong with those korean dramas] I have been at an overnight event [i went to a college overnight it was fun] I have been in a taxi [i grew up in NYC] I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year [I sprained my arm many times] I have beaten a video game in one day [I can’t even beat Final Fantasy on EASY] I have visited another country [Bahamas <3] I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts [THE MAINE, WE THE KINGS, AJR. I still wanna see Panic At The Disco and Paramore tho & Arctic Monkeys] I’m in a relationship [it’s kinda close to it] I have a celebrity crush [Chris Evans & Scott Eastwood] I have a crush on someone I know [ehehe <3] I have been in at least 3 relationships [fun fact my friend is on her 7th] I have never been in a relationship [true story!] I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them [i kinda did?? i dunno] I get crushes easily [YOU CAN SAY ONE THING TO ME HELLO CRUSH] I have had a crush on someone for over a year [omg i liked one of my guy friends for four years!] I have been in a relationship for at least a year [sadness] I have had feelings for a friend [multiple guy friends] I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” [she is the serena to my blair] I live close to my school [two hours away] My parents are still together [fun fact they met over the phone back in the day] I have at least one sibling [i have two] I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month [bruh i see all my friends all the time] I have a smartphone [fun fact didn’t get one till 18] I have at least 15 CDs [somewhere in my dark room] I share my room with someone [in a couple of months i will] I have breakdanced [nope] I know a person named Jamie [nope] I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce [TRUE AS FUCK] I have dyed my hair [multiple times] I’m listening to one song on repeat right now [i have spotify on shuffle] I have punched someone in the past week [um no why] I know someone who has gone to jail [true story! kids at my school did drugs all the time] I have broken a bone [knock on wood] I have eaten a waffle today [not recently] I know what I want to do with my life [planned out] I speak at least 2 languages fluently [that’s a joke] I have made a new friend in the past year [MANY]

I’m tagging: @yatorihell​ / @scarfblogs​ / @kurisuumakise / @bishoujohiyo / @themusicalbookworm / annnd whoever else wants to do it!

[briirens]

Three am convos seem like they don't mean much, but they do to the people engaged in them. I never once took notice to them, but it's those little conversations that mean the most to me. Each word said, each emoji sent... they all have a meaning. Big or small.