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dollarbin · 1 month

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Dollar Bin #43:

Ry Cooder's Chicken Skin Music

My famous brother repeatedly pushes a few choice artists on me, artists I've resisted for years. After all, I figure I've got plenty of time to feel my way into The Feelies, plenty of time to flip on the Television, and plenty of time to consider a serving of Cale (as in JJ; John is obviously a long time given in my pantheon of greatness).

Ry Cooder comes up in these discussions.

"He's an amazing guitar player," my brother argues. Yeah, that doesn't sell me. So is (or at least was) Eric Clapton. But ever since he left The White Room he seems bummerful tonight.

"But he plays like a zillion instruments!" continues Senior Doom and Gloom. Give me a break bro: Stephen Stills regularly credits himself with guitars (always plural), bass, piano, organ, vibes, Moog programming, Clavier, orchestration, conduction, deduction, obstruction, destruction and cowbells - plural cowbells.

But my brother's third statement always sells me on Cooder: "Yeah, but he's totally weird though - his records are nuts." Now that helps. Nuts is good in the Dollar Bin.

And then my famous brother layers on icing for the hotcakes he's hawking: "And remember dude, Neil Young opened for Cooder for the Bottom Line Honey Slides show." Now we're talking! Tell Neil to cook me up some cheap, finely chopped grass so I can listen to some Ry Cooder.

And have him add the tasty morsel that Cooder shows up prominently and with convincing thoughtfulness in Linda Ronstadt's straightforward but occasionally beautiful bioflick The Sound of My Voice. Then I'll move Ry Cooder onto my Dollar Bin Yes list.

Well, all that went down, so this summer I picked out three Cooder titles, each for a single salty buck. Let's consider the first one I came across...

I have to say, Chicken Skin Music's cover makes it look like it hardly merits my hard earned dollar. If I wanted to see cartoon skeletons, or for that matter, any kind of cartoon whatsoever, fornicating with cartoon ladies in cartoon dirt I'd be, well, an altogether different person.

But I dropped the needle anyway this week and my first impressions were not too favorable. If I wanted a white person singing Leadbelly, complete with repetitive use of the n-word, I'd summon Lucinda Williams. I guess. But I won't be making that summons: we're almost 50 years past the Night of the Hurricane, people; the n-word's use is hereby bestowed only to Black people, and they can do with it what they wish.

Overall, the tone of Chicken Skin Music is weird alright, I'll give my brother that much. Around 1999 I spent a single night at Hussongs in Encinada, pounding Pacificos and getting way into the Gringo action. The place was nuts: it was the closest thing I ever want to see to an actual orgy - only no one was actually naked or making love, thankfully; everything was just way out of control. This album was probably playing in the background.

Plus there's an apocryphal story about my father spending a night in Ensenada jail at some point in the late 60's for breaking into that same bar via a bathroom window; the whole thing sounds like a bunch of bunk; but listening to Ry Cooder duet with a drunken accordion on He'll Have to Go makes me believe my dad's wacko through the window story and assume it was Cooder who gave him the boost in.

youtube

But the album's greatest moment precedes that track and features, allegedly, Laurence Fishburne on vocals. Yeah, that Laurence Fishburne: the guy who was (this is actually true!) 15 years old when this record was recorded and had, concurrently, lied about his age to land a role in Apocalypse Now. (Just think about that: when I was 15 I regularly wore a Lenny Kravitz T-Shirt and I couldn't tell the difference between a peace sign and the Mercedes logo; in other words, I was a childish dope; meanwhile a young Larry Fishburne spent his 15th year on the planet playing an adult soldier a nutjob film on the other side of the world.)

And, supposedly, Fishburne was singing on this record at that very same time! That, or someone is having a ball on the record's Wikipedia page. Let me know if you figure out whether or not the whole thing is actually true. And if it is true, how does one go about working with Cooder and Copola simultaneously on opposite ends of the earth - all while being 15? Perhaps the Matrix helped make it all happen, after all, Fishburne uses that film's version of the force or whatever to secure his sunglasses to his face with no temples. (Temples are the name of the curved sticks that connect your lenses and frames to your ears and face).

And what's with the mini me in that image above? I know: maybe there are actually two Laurence Fishburns out there: the big guy from the movies and a second, tiny version of him who sings on Ry Cooder records!

Anyway, tell me if you hear Larry in the mix here; this song is great!

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Sweet huh? Why isn't the rest of Side 1 this soulful and earnest? If Fishburne had sang this song to Martin Sheen early on in Apocolypse's production maybe our future President Bartlet would have chilled the heck out, not gotten so drunk and not broken everything he could get his hands on in that hotel room; altogether it looks like a pretty lousy way to spend your 36th birthday.

But Sheen had demons to exorcise I guess, and apparently Cooder did too because he spends the entirety of Chicken Skin Music's B Side in a bizarre Hawaiian funk, performing songs like Stand By Me and Goodnight Irene like he's the last guy standing in an about-to-be-tornedo-struck tiki dive bar. He just keeps tossing off cheap mai tais and refusing to leave, convinced the paper umbrellas cluttering his drinks will defend him against the impending elements. They don't.

But is Chicken Skin Music ultimately worth my buck? Hell yeah! I'll listen to it whenever I'm breaking into Hussong's via the Matrix.

#Youtube #ry cooder #president bartlet #laurence fishburne #stephen stills sucks #h #doomandgloomfromthetomb

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countlessrealities · 9 months

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@technodromes sent:

[ Holiday Prompt to Morty, from Bishop ]

🎄 Bishop visited Morty at Thanksgiving to deliver a self-made cake and had been invited to the Smith household for dinner in turn. The shared meal was a pleasant experience for the most part, even though he had to politely turn down a couple of dishes because of his gluten allergy.

He now wants to return that favor as he sends out multiple gifts with an invitation stuck to the main package. The gifts hold breathers for all of them to breathe in Dimension X' toxic atmosphere and a few little individual gifts.

Morty and Summer would find a one-way portal device in their package that would open a portal to Utrominon instantly, should they ever need it. They also have a 100$ gift card sitting in there for their local mall. And Rick? He would find a VERY tiny bag of crystal dust in his package.

The invitation itself is written very formally, as usual.

[ Dear Morty.

To show my gratitude for your invitation from a few weeks ago, you and your family are cordially invited to visit me in Dimension X. I will guide you through Utrominon during your stay and shall prepare dinner afterward. Unfortunately, I cannot show you the Council, but there is a variety of other locations to visit, that I am certain you and Summer would find appealing as well.

Just send me a date and time that would be fitting for a stay in Dimension X and I will make all the necessary preparations for our meeting. The breathers that I sent to you are all equipped with translators as well and should come in use during your visit, in case Rick and his oxygen pills are not available at that time. The same goes for the portal devices to Utrominon, but note that these can be used only one time.

I sincerely hope that you and your family have a pleasant holiday time. Signed, Bishop.

PS: Rick, the crystal particles are for scientific use only. Make no attempts of consumption while you engage in portal traveling or I will arrest you! ]

Waking up to Bishop's gift basket was a very pleasant surprise for the Smith siblings. Christmas had stopped being too normal since Rick had moved in with them, but compared to the lifestyle they are used to nowadays, the day mostly manages to be boring for them.

Reason why the idea of spending it doing something else, exploring another dimension is definitely exciting for them.

"Boo-yah! This is so rad! No having to sit through Dad's mind-numbing movies this year!" Summer exclaims as soon as Morty is done reading the letter out loud. She lifts her breather, clearly enthusiastic at the prospect of a trip to Dimension X. "I'm gonna take so many pictures! Everyone at school will be, like, super jealous."

Setting the first tool aside, she picks up the portal device instead, turning it in her hand. It's nothing like Rick's portal gun, and she has to admit that she's curious to see how it works. Until now all she has seen have been the Utrom triangular portals, but not how they are made.

"It's such a bummer that your friend is such a goodie two shoes, bro," she adds then with a little huff. "A portal device that can be used only once? Seriously? That's, like, so lame."

Morty lets out a sigh at her sister's comment, but he doesn't bother talking back. Trying to defend Bishop would have been a waste of breath. Besides, he too had hoped that the device would function for multiple trips. Even if it opens portal exclusively to one location, it would have still been better than having to rely on Rick or steal his portal gun to go places.

"C-C'mon, Summer. H-He's got us that coupon too! I-I bet that it covers all the birthday presents y-you'll have to buy next year," he chooses to point out instead, pointedly looking at her. He hasn't missed how quickly she has snatched away her gift card. Probably to prevent Jerry from seeing it. "I-I'll let you use some of mine too, i-if you won't tease him too much today."

The girl only shrugs at that, but he can tell that she has been properly bribed, since she doesn't try to argue. Instead, she busy herself with making a post on her Instagram about their plans for the day.

Rick, however, is a whole other matter and Morty knows that he'll be acting all grumpy to Bishop just by the way he is glaring at the tiny bag of crystals.

"I-Is the bubblegum for real? W-What the fuck am I even supposed to do w-with so little?" He grumbles, but he still pockets the gift. "C-Can hardly make one dose with this shit."

Of course Bishop would still be hang up over their last messy adventure. And then he dares to wonder why he gets called a killjoy. Whatever. He is going to do what he wants with those crystals and he's going to exploit their little trip to the other's version of Dimension X to see if he can find more.

"An-And what the hell is that crap about scientific use only? S-Synthetising drugs is fuckin' science!"

#[ ic :: c137 Rick ]#[ ic :: Summer ]#[ ic :: Morty ]#&& Bishop #[ v. TransMortional Ricknections: Technodrome edition ; tmnt xover :: c137 Rick ]#[ v. TransMortional Ricknections: Technodrome edition ; tmnt xover :: Morty ]#[ v. TransMortional Ricknections: Technodrome edition ; tmnt xover :: Summer ]#technodromes #[ ic :: event ; christmas presents ]

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thatguywiththefaceog · 1 year

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Mabel's Marvelous Sexventures! CYOA Part 2

The following story is pornographic in nature. All characters depicted are over 18. This story is for adults only.

19, Mabel was 19. An adult who does an adult thing. Like mix too much rum into her Mabel Juice. Even being in college, Mabel and Dipper made a promise to make their way to Gravity Falls each summer. They even still shared that old attic in the Mystery Shack. Of course sharing a room as adults did have awkward moments.

As Dipper laid in his own bed across the room, his penis stood fully erect. And what a penis!! After spending two years in college, Mabel had seen quite a bit of erect penises, but none were as big as her bro’s. And with how his sheets were spread out, Dipper was fully exposed to his sister. Not that Mabel herself was no slouch herself. Her boobs were roughly the size of her own head. Mabel knew she had to handle this delicately.

"Dipper wake up, I can see your ding dong!"

He shot up. "Wha?" He looked down at his crotch. "Aaah." He shoved himself back into his boxers while he blushed.

"I'll let you take the first shower since you need more."

Dipper left the room grumbling. Mabel wondered if she might have had to do with Dipper’s boner. Her sleepwear consisted of an old tee shirt that doesn't fit anymore, showing off her boobies. And an old pair of panties. She wasn't exactly leaving much to the imagination here. But could her own brother want to fuck her?

He came back soon, towel around his waist, showing off his hot body. Years of monster hunting did wonders for his physique.

Mabel went to the bathroom and quickly stripped. Dipper left her plenty of hot water. She lathered soap on her bare breasts, washed her ass, and her other parts too. She shaved her legs and pits, leaving them nice and smooth. She did trim her mound, but only to leave the patch of brown hair manageable. After she was clean and dry, Mabel dressed in a pair of matching pink bra and panties, jeans short shots, miss matched sneakers with long socks, and a purple sleeveless blouse that showed off her cleavage nicely.

She joined Dipper in the kitchen. “Any plans today?”

“Some gnomes told me there been some strange plants in the forest. I asked around town and there was an old greenhouse around that area abandoned back in the 2000s. I was going to check it out after breakfast. Wanna come?”

“I dunno. I don’t wanna spend my day looking at plants.”

“Think about it,” Dipper told her as he left the room.

Once alone, Mabel turned her attention to her cercal. While she was eating breakfast, there was a knock at the back door. “Pacifica!” Mabel shouted as she opened the door. Paz had stopped dying her hair years ago, leaving her a dirty blonde. Her outfit consisted of a pink tee-shirt and a pair of jeans. She had a good sized bust but it paled in comparison to Mabel’s. Where Pacifica did shine was her ass. It was huge and shapely in all the right ways. It was thicc with a capital ICC. Looking at that ass helped Mabel realize she was bi. And the jeans Pacifica was wearing was doing wonders for it.

“Paz!! What can I do for ya girl?”

“I was gonna go to the mall. I was hoping we could go together.” Pacifica brushed as she brushed her hair out of her face. Her blue eyes sparkled.

“That sounds fun! But I might have other plans. I’ll get back to you.” The blonde nodded and left.

Mabel was running the cash register in the gift shop when a familiar face wandered in. “Wendy!”

“Dude!” The two hugged. Wendy was still tall. Even taller than Dipper. And while not bulky, her muscles definitely had some definition. Her ears and several pieces and her arms and neck had some tats. She had a thin white tank top with some blue jeans. Mabel could see a nipple piercing underneath her top. “I was going to go to the woods to do some hiking. I just wanted to say hi.” With a wave she was gone.

Hiking alone seemed like a bummer. Maybe Mabel should have gone with her? She had so many different things she could do today.

#gravity falls #mabel pines #mabifica #pinecest #wenbel #dipper pines #pacifica northwest #wendy corduroy

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xxvirtualangelxx · 1 month

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all the subtle wild shit he said/did:

i’m holding the bowl so i can finish the one hit i took. He puts his hand out to hold it so I don’t have to and I say thank you and without missing a beat says “anytime”

i have no idea what i said but any time i made a joke back or laughed at his he’d to this smile bro that smile had me weeeeeeeeak

when we parted ways he was like “i hope i wasn’t too boring” bruh i like boring. im just so shy with someone as attractive as you that if youre not touching me i don’t believe we having a good time.

he would listen and respond to what i was saying in an intentional way - and always had something well thought to say besides being a man of few words.

idk if we never speak again that’d be a bummer but i loved this experience for what it was. he’s very cool people like insanely just chill it’s a shame he’s such a homebody bc like he really got a personality so many people would love and probably do!

he brought a few different waters. and when i picked smart water he said “so ah that’s the choice” it as just cute

he hates summer i hate summer to. i know giving him hot chocolate is a gift he’ll accept. anyways i love gift giving.

he vibed with my music didn’t say anything negative but he bopped along if it was good. i’m just. a fan i don’t wanna come on too strong.

UGH CAN HE JUST COMMUNICATE WHAT HE THOUGHT TO I HAVE NO IDEA

I don’t think i’m getting a second date outta this.

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masterofd1saster · 2 months

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CJ current events 15aug24

Republican belongs in prison

Irony is there are many left wingers who would excuse him as a "Minor Attracted Person"

A former North Dakota State Senator pleaded guilty [Thurs, 8aug24] to traveling to Prague, Czech Republic, to have commercial sex with minor boys. According to court documents and facts established in public proceedings, Ray Holmberg, 80, of Grand Forks, took approximately 14 trips to Prague between 2011 and 2021 to engage in commercial sex acts with minor boys. During some of these trips, Holmberg used the alias “Sean Evans” while staying at a brothel where young boys provided commercial sexual services. Holmberg also went to a public park in front of the main train station in Prague to procure sex from minor boys. Holmberg also used the “Sean Evans” alias to communicate with friends about the trips. In those communications, Holmberg discussed “his twink,” and commented that “no one is ever too young . . . remember Prague.” He emailed another friend a link to a known brothel in Prague named the “Villa Mansland,” and wrote “[l]et’s go, this summer . . . The boys rent at around $60 (sex is extra).” Later in the communications, Holmberg wrote “it will be decadent but oh so much fun bro. What happens in Prague—Stays in Prague.” In other emails, he requested at least one of the employees at the brothel to find him a “kid.” Holmberg pleaded guilty to one count of traveling with intent to engage in illicit sexual conduct. He faces a maximum penalty of 30 years in prison. A sentencing date has not yet been set. ***

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A man died, and you won't say why?

The 67-year-old man who leaped to his death inside Denver’s Lindsey-Flanigan Courthouse last week was on trial for attempted murder. Thomas Stilson jumped from an upper floor of the courthouse just after 8 a.m. on Aug. 1. He injured two other people in the fall; they suffered only minor injuries. The Denver Office of Medical Examiner announced Thursday that it had ruled his death a suicide. Stilson was the defendant in an ongoing jury trial in which he faced several felony charges — including attempted first-degree murder, assault with a deadly weapon, menacing and various sentence enhancers that could have led to decades in prison had he been convicted, according to a criminal history report from the Colorado Bureau of Investigation. Stilson was charged in November. Further details of the allegations against him were not available Thursday because the court case was sealed — made secret — and blocked from public view. “Please be advised that there is no public record that exists,” the clerk’s office wrote in response to an inquiry by The Denver Post.*** Stilson’s death is at least the second time a defendant in an ongoing jury trial has died by suicide in Denver in recent years. In 2021, a former Lakewood police officer, Randall Butler, 39, killed himself while on trial over allegations he sexually assaulted a woman in the back of his patrol car.

Denver Post reported that Stillson's lawyer said the case was overcharged and 7/12 jurors were inclined to acquit.

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Car thieves are not nice people

Why aren't police authorized to chase dangerous people in cars? Isn't that their job?

***undercover Aurora Police Department officers spotted the stolen SUV near 17th Avenue and Trenton Street in Denver. They followed the vehicle, and then several shots were fired at the officers. Police did not return fire, but an authorized chase ensued.*** "I heard a car burnout, and then a minute later I went and checked my car and found bullet holes and everything." But that wasn't all. He also discovered a broken window and two flat tires. A family member's car also had a flat tire, and a neighbor had a bullet travel through their front window. "It's a bummer," Lincoln said. The chase ended near Montview Boulevard and Cathay Street in Aurora when the stolen vehicle sustained a flat tire. Aurora Police Department says several suspects fled from the SUV. Aurora and Denver police officers searched the area for the suspects. Ultimately, four minors were arrested and are being held on charges of two counts of attempted first-degree murder and one count each of second-degree burglary and aggravated motor vehicle theft.***

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Ya never know; could be sepuku, right?

Man stabbed to death in Denver, police investigating as homicide

A man was stabbed to death Friday night in Denver’s Central Business District and police are investigating it as a homicide. Read more →

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Cold case solved by dna

***Advanced DNA testing and forensic genetic genealogy led authorities to identify 55-year-old Paul Hutchinson as the killer of 15-year-old Danielle "Danni" Houchins.*** Houchins left her home in Belgrade, Montana, around 11 a.m. Sept. 21, 1996, and never returned. After reporting her missing, the teen's mother found her truck at the Cameron Bridge Fishing Access point on the Gallatin River. Later that night, Houchins' body was found face down in shallow water. DNA evidence was collected and several suspects were interviewed over the years, but the case eventually went cold. In 2021, Springer hired private investigator Tom Elfmont, a retired Los Angeles Police Department officer, to assist in the investigation. Hair collected from Houchins' body was sent to labs in California and Virginia, where Hutchinson was identified as a suspect. On July 23, Elfmont and Sgt. Court Depweg of the Newport Beach Police Department, who specializes in solving homicides using DNA technology, interviewed Hutchinson. During the nearly two-hour interview, Hutchinson appeared nervous and showed signs of being uncomfortable when he was shown a picture of the late teen, authorities said. *** The next morning, Hutchinson called the Beaverhead County Sheriff’s Office, saying he needed assistance before hanging up. He was later found by deputies on the side of a road with a self-inflicted gunshot wound, authorities said. *** https://www.foxnews.com/us/montana-man-idd-suspect-cold-case-killing-teen-girl-kills-himself-being-questioned

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Watch it and judge for yourself

Newly released footage captured by undercover journalists in 2015 shows Planned Parenthood staff discussing the process of harvesting aborted baby parts and allegedly exposes a scheme to traffic them. David Daleiden, project lead for the Center For Medical Progress (CMP), recorded the damning footage in 2015 at the National Abortion Federation’s (NAF) commercial trade show in San Francisco. A court injunction stemming from California Attorney General-turned-Vice President Kamala Harris’ prosecution of Daleiden previously blocked the release of the footage. Thanks to a congressional subpoena and Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., however, Daleiden was finally permitted to post hours of footage allegedly exposing Planned Parenthood’s gruesome practices nearly a decade after he collected it.***

Some of the video is at https://x.com/daviddaleiden/status/1821709089371742592

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Judge who thinks he's smarter than everyone

Louisiana’s Judiciary Commission has recommended that St. John the Baptist Parish Judge Vercell Fiffie serve a six-month unpaid suspension after he repeatedly refused to sign search warrants, slowing down authorities’ ability to investigate child porn, child abuse, domestic violence cases and more. Fiffie was elected to the bench in 2021, and complaints started rolling into the Judiciary Commission a few months later, from both fellow judges and law enforcement officials who said he was unreceptive to feedback. The Judiciary Commission found he engaged in willful misconduct, demonstrated fundamental misunderstanding of the law, failed to act in a timely manner and more. They recommended that three months of Fiffie’s suspension be deferred, meaning he’d only serve three months of the unpaid suspension. But they also said he should serve two years of probation and reimburse more than $9,000 in costs for the commission’s investigation and hearings. Fiffie especially frustrated other judges with some of his decisions, including the recall of two bench warrants signed by a colleague on the 40th Judicial District bench. An appeals court also threatened him with contempt after he failed to follow an order from the court to issue one bench warrant. Fiffie rejected 27% of warrants presented to him in 2021 — orders of magnitude higher than the other two judges on the bench with him in Edgard. Those judges rejected just .24% and 2.4% of warrants that year, according to Judiciary Commission filings.*** Some complainants alleged that Fiffie has made a habit of asking law enforcement to obtain consent for searches before he signs search warrants — defeating the point of a search warrant, which is designed to give the recipient as little notice as possible.*** In another case, parents worried that their nonverbal 1-year-old was being abused at day care after emergency room physicians noted a fractured femur. As law enforcement tried to investigate, Fiffie agreed to issue a warrant for emergency room records, but not records from an orthopedic specialist who treated the broken bone. He said “the charges appear unsupported by the facts,” according to court records. That matter is still under investigation. Fiffie’s delay in signing an arrest warrant in another case led to an entire neighborhood being locked down and evacuated. Police were on the scene of a domestic violence incident with an armed suspect who had been accused of aggravated assault, and sought a warrant to enter the building and arrest the suspect.***

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Nice that drug legalization has made Colorado safe

from Denver Post

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Some people are really freakin' vindictive

You may recall that Tulsi Gabbard destroyed Kamala Harris in the Demo debate in 2020. Excellent article by Matt Taibbi:

Tuesday night, while self-styled Democratic nominee Kamala Harris pledged to defend “freedom, compassion, and the rule of law” to cheers in Philadelphia, Hawaii’s Tulsi Gabbard described being tracked by teams of government agents in a surveillance regime more reminiscent of East Germany than a free country. Whistleblowing Air Marshals told Uncover DC Gabbard was singled out as a terror threat under the so-called “Quiet Skies” program, and the former presidential candidate says she noticed. “The whistleblowers’ account matches my experience,” says Gabbard. “Everything lines up to the day.” This story began two weeks ago, when the former Hawaii congresswoman returned home after a short trip abroad. In airport after airport, she and her husband Abraham Williams encountered obstacles. First on a flight from Rome to Dallas, then a connecting flight to Austin, and later on different flights for both to cities like Nashville, Orlando, and Atlanta, their boarding passes were marked with the “SSSS” designation, which stands for “Secondary Security Screening Selection.” The “Quad-S” marker is often a sign the traveler has been put on a threat list, and Gabbard and Williams were forced into extensive “random” searches lasting as long as 45 minutes. “It happened every time I boarded,” says Gabbard. The Iraq war veteran and current Army reservist tends to pack light, but no matter.***

She was subjected to intrusive searches when other similarly situated travelers were not. She called a colleague, who told her: these things happen, don’t worry. “So I thought, ‘Maybe I’m just being paranoid,’” Gabbard says. Then she saw this past Sunday’s report in Uncover DC, a site edited by the well-known Twitter writer Tracy Beanz. Uncover interviewed Sonya LaBosco, the Executive Director of the Air Marshal National Council (AMNC), an advocacy association for Federal Air Marshals. Disclosing Gabbard had been placed on a domestic terror watch list, the former Marshal LaBosco told a disturbing story:

According to LaBosco… Gabbard is unaware she has two Explosive Detection Canine Teams, one Transportation Security Specialist (explosives), one plainclothes TSA Supervisor, and three Federal Air Marshals on every flight she boards.

Uncover DC said Gabbard was initially placed on the list on July 23rd, and that trios of Air Marshals first began following her on flights on July 25th. As Racket would learn, surveillance was conducted on at least eight flights, with different three-Marshal teams for each flight, part of the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) “Quiet Skies” regimen that can literally surround people with human watchers. There are “potentially 15 or more TSA uniformed and plain clothes” at a gate for such assignments, LaBosco told Racket. The story about Gabbard was surfaced by two TSA whistleblowers, including one detailed to follow her. When Gabbard read this, she felt a shock of recognition. “When I saw that, I thought, ‘Wow, okay. So everything I was experiencing was exactly what I feared was going on,’” she says.*** “This is not a woe-is-me situation,” she explains. Instead, “it’s bringing to the forefront… how brazen the political retaliation and abuse of power continues to be under the Biden-Harris administration.”***

As a war veteran with no connection to J6 or any other known offense, her appearance on a terror watch list is striking, and symbolic of the way politicians and intelligence officials have turned the machinery of the War on Terror inward in the last decade. This aspect of the story galls Gabbard the most. “I enlisted because of the terrorist attack on 9/11,” Gabbard says. “I was like a lot of Americans. We enlisted to ensure the safety, security, and freedom of the American people and go after the terrorists who attacked us. And so now to have confirmation — I guarantee there are other men and women in uniform or veterans now being targeted. “I can’t think of a word that adequately captures how I feel. The closest I can think of is the deepest sense of betrayal.” She pauses. “It cuts to the core.”*** Worse, Empower today says it’s learned that the TSA has already initiated an investigation to identify the two TSA whistleblowers who leaked “sensitive security information” in Gabbard’s case. The firm sent another letter to the IG this morning asking for help in stopping retaliation before it begins. “A retaliatory investigation that hunts for whistleblowers in order to intimidate them into silence is exactly the wrong step for the agency to take,” the firm wrote, adding that the TSA “should be investigating the abuses on which [Marshals] are blowing the whistle.”***

Three years later in July 2021, in a story out of a Philip K. Dick novel, a Senior Federal Air Marshal with 27 years of experience discovered that his wife had been labeled a “domestic terrorist.” She was reportedly targeted for “Special Mission Coverage” for having attended the January 6th speech by Donald Trump at the Capitol, which she did not enter. When the Marshal told his supervisor, he was advised to “let it play out” as “it was not our investigation.” Eventually, the Marshal turned to aforementioned whistleblower firm Empower Oversight, which helped him file a protected disclosure with the Office of Special Counsel. The OSC on July 8, 2021 wrote back, declining to refer the matter for investigation to the Inspector General’s office. Empower then wrote directly to the Inspector General’s office, which to date has “provided no public accounting of what it has done.” The Marshal did manage to work with the FBI to have his wife’s name removed from the terror watchlist, though this did not slow the program.***

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Robed weasels are the worst weasels of all

Oliver Wiseman notes

David Neuberger, a former UK Supreme Court president who sits on Hong Kong’s highest court, has been widely condemned after he upheld prison sentences against pro-democracy activists including newspaper tycoon and British citizen Jimmy Lai. Judges should be “defenders of the liberty of the subject,” another former UK Supreme Court wrote in June. Something Neuberger seems to have forgotten. (Times of London)

***

Interesting idea for rape victims

By Olivia Reingold

August 12, 2024

If you don’t like it, make your own. That’s the ethos that has driven decades of American founders in Silicon Valley—and that led a 28-year-old named Madison Campbell to develop an at-home rape kit. But unlike the young men in cities like Seattle and Palo Alto, California, who built empires from their garages, Campbell is a five-foot-four blonde from Pittsburgh who spends her free time in beauty pageants. To some, she’s a feminist icon who stands to revolutionize our broken criminal justice system. To the attorneys general of New York and Pennsylvania, she is a latter-day Elizabeth Holmes albeit on a smaller scale: a fraud who, in Campbell’s case, exploits the confusion and desperation of rape victims. (She even dated “pharma bro” Martin Shkreli for five months after he was released from prison for fraud.)*** “I have a First Amendment right for myself and my company to say that the criminal justice system as it currently works does not work for everyone,” Campbell tells me over Zoom. Her lawyer Alex Little, who represented pop star Kesha in her sexual assault lawsuit against her former producer Dr. Luke, tells me that all the components of a Leda Health kit are “entirely legal,” like tamper-proof tape, a ballpoint pen, and cotton swabs. “You can go to CVS, and you can get either of those things immediately,” he tells me. “None of those things are illegal.” He adds: “So, Pennsylvania isn’t upset that we’re selling swabs and plastic bags. What they’re upset with is what we’re telling victims they can do with those items. And that is your speech restriction.” ***

***

Some docs are flaming dirtbags

DENVER — A former Denver cardiologist charged with drugging and sexually assaulting nearly a dozen women was found guilty by a jury on Tuesday on all but three counts brought against him. Stephen Matthews, 35, was arrested in March of 2023 after a woman first reported to Denver police she was drugged during a brunch date then sexually assaulted at his home. Two months later, Matthews was arrested for a second time after nine more women came forward with similar allegations, reporting that they met Matthews online and after agreeing to meet for drinks, lost large portions of their memories, according to an arrest affidavit. The allegations dated back to 2019.*** Allegations first surfaced in early 2023 when a victim and Matthews chatted for several weeks on a dating app then agreed to meet for brunch on January 29, according to court documents. After the two ate breakfast and had mimosas, they returned to Matthews’ home and eventually hung out in his hot tub. According to the court documents, the victim began to “feel poorly” after some time and last remembered being in the hot tub. Her next memory was being at home while paramedics checked on her – adding she had no memory from around noon to 9:40 p.m., the document said. While taking an Uber home from Matthews’ house, the victim reportedly called her sister and was told she was not making sense, the affidavit read. The victim had hickies on her chest, but did not remember "any interaction like that" with Matthews, the affidavit read. The next day, the victim had a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) exam completed.*** Sentencing is scheduled for Oct. 25, 2024, at 1:30 p.m.

***

Corporations spy almost as much as the gummit

General Motors has been sued by the state of Texas, which accused the automaker of installing technology on more than 14 million vehicles to collect data about drivers, which it then sold to insurers and other companies without drivers' consent. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton said Tuesday's lawsuit arose from a probe announced in June into whether several automakers collected and sold mass amounts of data without drivers' knowledge. Paxton said GM's data were used to compile "Driving Scores" assessing whether more than 1.8 million Texas drivers had "bad" habits such as speeding, braking too fast, steering too sharply into turns, not using seatbelts and driving late at night. Insurers could then use the data when deciding whether to raise premiums, cancel policies or deny coverage, Paxton said. The technology was allegedly installed on most GM vehicles starting with the 2015 model year.***

https://www.newsmax.com/us/texas-sues-general-motors/2024/08/14/id/1176464

***

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the-domestication-of-the-dog · 6 months

Text

The 13th Annual(??) L.A.O.K. Awards

The Lazy Sack-of-Shit Award Me

For, in the second time in the history of the awards, posting this list after the completion of the following awards year. Wow, the first two-time winner of the Lazy Sack-of-Shit Award. This is so unexpected, I uh- I didn't even have a speech prepared. Uh, but I would like to say this: tardiness, is not something you can do all on your own. I'd like to thank my two-year-old daughter Rosie, for needing and deserving constant attention, a brain disorder called adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and the engineers at Reddit, Instagram, and YouTube for creating systems of crippling dopamine feedback loops, without which, I might never be tardy.

Now I know you've all been opening this site every morning and hitting refresh to see when these would finally be posted, so without further ado...

The most dangerous thing about the Layokies…is that you may grow to love them too much. [This is a reference to Avatar: The Way of Water. Remember that movie? It grossed $684 million domestically.] The people (3) have spoken, and the Layokies, even if massively delayed, must go on. [At the time of writing this, I was a month or two behind, but then instead of finishing and posting it, I just…didn’t. But here we are a year later, and I do want to post my 2023 Layokies (also massively delayed), but it seems weird to do that without first posting the 2022 Layokies, so hey let’s blaze through this thing and you can find out what I thought about some movies from over two years ago.]

I love celebrating movies, so it’s kind of a bummer to me that this year felt like Dullsville, U.S.A. But I’ve said that previously, then reread years later and thought, ‘what was I thinking, these movies were great!’ So here’s to the perspective you get when time passes. What’s that called? Retrospecticus or something.

I’ll also note that, as listed in last year’s post [a.k.a. two-years-ago’s post], I had a baby, which, as predicted, severely limited my in-theater viewing. I also moved to Pasadena, which meant those films I did see in the theater were relegated to the AMC Santa Anita. You know my thoughts about AMCs (and pretty much all megaplex chains), but even AMC Century City has the big IMAX seats. AMC Santa Anita’s IMAX is in just like, a normal theater?? I just saw The Super Mario Bros. Movie in this exact theater and it was SO. QUIET. But that’s a Layokies for another year [which is actually this year. Also this has since been remedied, and now they have one with the big seats and all, and I recently saw Dune: Part Two there, and it looked and sounded great so woohoo.]

Narrative Film Everything Everywhere All at Once TÁR Thirteen Lives Top Gun: Maverick Women Talking

Boy this is a real bummer. FOUR out of my five favorite movies were nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars, and maybe that’s why I never posted this edition of the Layokies. What fun is talking about movies without also being contrarian? Typically there’ll be some movie I see in the middle of the summer that wows me, which absolutely no one else cares about, talks about, or even watches. That movie never came, because Everything Everywhere All at Once was already being talked about as one of the best movies of all time a week into its release, so much so that it felt like you were some weird guzmo if you gave it 3.5 stars on Letterboxed instead of 5, where it currently sits as the 25th highest-rated narrative film of all time [but actually currently at #103; whoops just checked again: #118]. I was more in the latter camp, and we all know the rest. Even the “irrelevant” Academy agreed. Okay then, let’s look to my second-favorite movie of the year, a drama about women who sit around debating in a barn for 90 minutes. Ah, that’s more like it, who would want to watch that? Except…another Best Picture nomination. This is really annoying! You have to scroll all the way down– [and here my commentary from early 2023 broke off. Scroll all the way down for what?! We shall never know. While I had slotted everything in for awards, all prose after this point was composed on or after February 3, 2024, so I’ll do my best to remember.]

And the Layokie goes to… Everything Everywhere All at Once

“EEAAO” as they call it, was truly a great film, and it was cool and weird to see it garner such recognition. The last time my own pick won Best Picture was 12 Years a Slave, which of course it did. The momentum behind this one, however, I still can’t understand. Looking back, it still feels like it should have been normie repellant. I can only guess that the efforts made by the Academy in the decade-long wake of #OscarsSoWhite is actually changing the demographics as intended, not just for race, but age and all other types of diversity.

Honorable Mentions Avatar: The Way of Water Bones and All The Menu Pearl The Whale

Documentary Film Bitterbrush Cow Claydream A House Made of Splinters Navalny

You might have heard of A House Made of Splinters (which is devastating btw—the only other movie to put me in literal racking sobs beside Benjamin Button [and wouldn’tcha know they’re both about child abandonment?]) and Navalny from their Oscar nominations (and Navalny’s win)[RIP], but the other three on my list weren’t even shortlisted, and they were all incredible. Bitterbrush follows two cowgirls as they work the sprawling ranges of the American West and wax poetic on a number of subjects. Its incredible vistas are paired with an amazing classical score and soundtrack. Claydream is the story of how the animator behind classic works like the California Raisins eventually had his studio hostilely taken over by Phil Knight’s son (which if you don’t know who that is and what the studio became, is very worth not spoiling). I’m an animation fan, but this was still a gripping story of a generally unknown American master which is both worth your time, and worthy of a Moneyball-style narrative adaptation. Lastly Cow…well let’s just say if you enjoyed Gunda, give this one a watch you sick bastard.

And the Layokie goes to… Bitterbrush

Naturally, the best doc of the year wasn’t even shortlisted. A trend we may see continue in 2023…? However, you can watch Bitterbrush now on Hulu, and I suggest you do.

Honorable Mentions All That Breathes Bad Axe Children of the Mist Nothing Lasts Forever The Territory

Actress Mia Goth - Pearl Cate Blanchette - TÁR Michelle Yeoh - Everything Everywhere All at Once Aubrey Plaza - Emily the Criminal Leslie Manville - Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris

Okay this would have been a pretty cool category at the time, highlighting unsung performances by Mia Goth, Aubrey Plaza, and Leslie Manville. Here are three movies worth seeking out just for their leads (Okay, you probably won’t miss anything not seeing Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris, but for Pearl and Emily the Criminal, I sincerely mean this. Aubrey Plaza has serious chops.) And if you’re not a horror fan, please know that Pearl is so much more, and you’ll miss absolutely nothing by not watching X first (or at all [unless you are a Kid Cudi stan like me]).

And the Layokie goes to… Cate Blanchette - TÁR

Another tossup, but the Layokie way seems to be, when in doubt, give it to Cate Blanchette. Unlike one dear reader, I’ve only seen TÁR once, but perhaps because the character is so commanding and desperate for attention, so is the performance.

Honorable Mentions Viola Davis - The Woman King Carey Mulligan - She Said Tilda Swinton - Three Thousand Years of Longing

Actor Tom Cruise - Top Gun: Maverick Brendan Fraser - The Whale Idris Elba - Three Thousand Years of Longing Park Hae-il - Decision to Leave Ralph Fiennes - The Menu

And the Layokie goes to… Brendan Fraser - The Whale

Let me tell ya, the people were maaad that Austin Butler didn’t win best actor for Elvis last year. For whatever reason, members of the public call and email the Academy every year to provide their opinions on who and what should and shouldn’t have won (I got a call six months into 2020 to tell me how shameful it was that Parasite won Best Picture, not because it was a bad movie, but because there were so many American movies worthy of attention. I asked her if she had seen Parasite. She hadn’t.), but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen such a strong reaction to someone not winning more than Austin Butler. But the Academy got it right, in my opinion. Brendan Fraser played this role with simultaneous sadness and pathos and optimism. It was really remarkable. Typically, the strong performances I’m drawn to, and which generally receive recognition, project outwards. Brendan Fraser’s character in The Whale, perhaps appropriately, seems instead to draw everyone and everything else into himself.

Honorable Mentions Ram Charan - RRR Felix Kammerer - All Quiet on the Western Front Viggo Mortensen - Thirteen Lives (because why the hell not)

Supporting Actor Colin Farrell - The Batman Barry Keoghan - The Banshees of Inisherin Mark Rylance - Bones and All Ke Huy Quan - Everything Everywhere All at Once Miles Teller - Top Gun: Maverick

And the Layokie goes to… Colin Farrell - The Batman

Colin Farrell is showing up a lot in this edition of the Layokies, but nothing was more impressive than his complete transformation into the Penguin. I watched this a couple times, and if I was into conspiracy theories, I still might not believe it was him. Also shoutout to one of my boys, now three-time Layokie-nominee Barry Keoghan. Where y’all been? We done been hyping Barry Keoghan over here since 2017.

Honorable Mentions Christopher Abbot - On the Count of Three Christian Bale - Thor: Love and Thunder Paul Dano - The Batman (Did you know he had to pull out of The Power of the Dog for this role? Ouch.) Paul Dano - The Fabelmans Colin Farrell - Thirteen Lives Nicholas Hoult - The Menu Aaron Taylor Johnson - Bullet Train Ben Whishaw - Women Talking

Supporting Actress Nicole Beharie - Breaking Angela Basset - Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (thought this before everyone else said it) Jessie Buckley - Women Talking Claire Foy - Women Talking Hong Chau - The Menu

Another actor getting nominated for the wrong role, Hong Chau was hilarious in The Menu. I watched that once and still think of her line delivery every time I eat a “tortilla.” But it was basically the whole cast of Women Talking that stole it this year, and this could have gone to anyone one them. (Three years too early for that casting Oscar!)

And the Layokie goes to… Jessie Buckley - Women Talking

Honorable Mention Dolly De Leon - Triangle of Sadness Stephanie Hsu - Everything Everywhere All at Once Rooney Mara - Women Talking

Best Director Edward Berger - All Quiet on the Western Front Daniels - Everything Everywhere All at Once Todd Field - TÁR Ron Howard - Thirteen Lives Joseph Kosinski - Top Gun: Maverick

And the Layokie goes to… Joseph Kosinski - Top Gun: Maverick

Absolutely incredible that both this and Spiderhead were directed by the same person. If you have no idea what Spiderhead is, it’s a Netflix movie that came out the same year about a guy who goes to an island prison where they test potions on you and Chris Hemsworth is the head potion-making guy and also he’s evil, which is supposed to be a big reveal but is obvious from the beginning. Anyway it was super forgettable and got dumped to the recesses of the algorithm in about a week, while Top Gun: Maverick is indelible and single-handedly saved movies after the pandemic. The second time I watched this, I paid attention to all the little things: driving shots, dialogue shots. It hits such a sweet spot between invisible and obvious style. No big surprise, however, as Tron: Legacy and Oblivion are also supremely well-directed action movies.

Honorable Mentions Park Chan-wook - Decision to Leave Ruben Östlund - Triangle of Sadness Maria Schrader - She Said Ti West - Pearl

Original Screenplay Park Chan-wook & Chung Seo-kyung - Decision to Leave Daniels - Everything Everywhere All at Once Seth Reiss & Will Tracy - The Menu Todd Field - TÁR Ruben Östlund - Triangle of Sadness

And the Layokie goes to… Daniels - Everything Everywhere All at Once

Pretty sure these guys went to the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon school of screenwriting, as this movie has everything: action, sci-fi, romance, about four different levels of family drama, and plays on all our deepest emotions: acceptance, ambition, self-worth, existentialism.

Honorable Mentions John Patton Ford - Emily the Criminal William Nicholson & Don MacPherson - Thirteen Lives

Adapted Screenplay Samuel D. Hunter - The Whale David Kajganich - Bones and All Rebecca Lenkiewicz - She Said Sarah Polley - Women Talking Ti West & Mia Goth - Pearl

I don’t know why, but after listening to the audiobooks for She Said and Catch and Kill, I wholly expected She Said to come in and ham it up big time. But where lesser filmmakers would have attempted to erect a monument to the #metoo movement, She Said played it totally straight. It was more akin to Spotlight than any other film I could think of, and as worthy of praise. It’s too bad the subject matter was already 1,000 times bigger than the movie, because I think the film audience missed out on a real gem here.

And the Layokie goes to… Sarah Polley - Women Talking

That said, there’s another movie about women talking I liked even better, Women Talking. I’m still stunned this was nominated for Best Picture. In what world? It’s currently on Prime, so if you haven’t seen it, add it to your list. It’s also the perfect companion to any movie that receives my wife’s most common film criticism: “It was just a bunch of men talking.” (Think: any war movie.)

Honorable Mentions Like five different guys - Top Gun: Maverick

Now onto the fun stuff:

The Something Award Prey

The Nothing Award Amsterdam

Worst ADR in the History of Movies Hustle

Okay I can’t find this clip online, but it is so egregious, I think it’s worth the effort. Go on Netflix and start watching Hustle starring Adam Sandler at the 17:00 mark. Note how echoey the office is, then give it until Ben Foster’s line “You find me that missing piece, and you’ll be right back on the bench coaching.” I’ve watched this clip probably 25 times, and I absolutely love it. For me, it’s impossible not to picture him in a little sound booth reading that line with headphones on.

Now I’m guessing if any of you did go and watch this, you might be thinking, yeah okay, so what? And already knowing what’s coming and watching it in this manner, maybe it is a so what. But to watch as many movies as I do, and to have heard as much bad ADR as one would, and then to have Ben Foster reach out and smack you in the face with this poorly done a line of ADR…ah, it’s like a holy grail of lazy/rushed/bad filmmaking. It’s like up there with the Batman & Robin reverse shot. Let’s just say it was probably some studio executive’s fault.

Weeird Doubles Burning down rural Irish houses - The Banshees of Inisherin, The Wonder Doing donkeys dirty (oh baby a triple!) - EO, Triangle of Sadness, The Banshees of Inisherin Boring documentaries slowly zooming in on a few pixels - Three Minutes: A Lengthening, Riotsville, U.S.A. Fatties who just gotta stuff their face with candy - The Whale, Piggy

Best Song Naatu Naatu (of course) - RRR

Take it from someone who literally Naatu Naatu’d so hard that he fell over (but was Naatu Naatu-ing as a joke, but falling over wasn’t part of the joke, even though that’s exactly what happened the movie).

youtube

Also, The Whale Rap from Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers. (You can take this one from someone who as a kid did many freestyle raps with friends on the Windows sound recorder, and this is about how it usually went.)

youtube

The Michelle Williams Loves Getting Divorced Award The Fabelmans

I love Michelle Williams and I wish her and her characters all the best, but why is she always divorcing good men who love her?? Don’t make the vow then!

Previous examples include Take This Waltz and Blue Valentine (okay “good” might be a stretch on the latter, and I actually remember thinking they would get back together at the end anyway, though I will not be watching it again since that seems not to be how every other single person read that movie).

Finally Got the Thor Movie Poster Right Thor: Love and Thunder

Best Scenes After Yang - Opening credits Barbarian - Calculating the square footage The Batman - The car chase Bitterbrush - Saddling the horse Bones and All - Maren visits her mom Children of the Mist - The final kidnapping Everything Everywhere All at Once - Rocks with subtitles Navalny - The phone interview Nope - Aliens in the stables Pearl - Pearl’s dinner confession Top Gun: Maverick - Boy you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a fantastic scene in this one, but if I had to pick one…no, literally sitting here thinking, and I can’t decide. All so damn good. Buzzing the security checkpoint; Great Balls of Fire; any time Jon Hamm yells or gives a stank face; Maverick/Iceman reunion; dogfight football; Maverick doing the solo training run; the actual climactic run; and the hug at the end. Triangle of Sadness - The food poisoning (a sequence really) RRR - Naatu Naatu (again, undeniable)

Here’s where I usually link to the A.V. Club’s annual list of best scenes. Sadly, they stopped producing it starting the 2022 awards year.

The 3rd Annual Oklahoma Connections Award Pretty sure one of the girls in Bitterbrush moves to Oklahoma at the end of it or something. Otherwise not a banner year for Oklahoma mentions, except…

The 2nd Annual Shawnee Honors Two years, two shoutsout for my hometown of Shawnee, OK:

2022 - Babylon: Brad Pitt gets told off for pretending to be Italian when he is actually from Shawnee. (And Brad Pitt actually was born in Shawnee. YouTubers doing the Lord’s work.) 2021 - Stillwater: Matt Damon did some work down in Shawnee (mispronounced Shawny instead of Shaw-NEE; shameful, Matt!)

Good in Everything Award Colin Farrell - After Yang, The Banshees of Inisherin, The Batman, Thirteen Lives Tilda Swinton - Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio, The Eternal Daughter, Three Thousand Years of Longing

Destigmatizing Fatness Award The Whale (in some ways but also mostly not) Three Thousand Years of Longing (in some ways but also mostly not) Piggy (in some ways but also really mostly not)

Worst Movies

Mad God

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

Lightyear

Luck

Deep Water

White Noise

Hocus Pocus 2

Halloween Ends

Ambulance

Scream (2022)

Best Visuals Avatar: The Way of Water The Bad Guys Bitterbrush EO Everything Everywhere All at Once Fire of Love Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Three Thousand Years of Longing 😎

Movie That Deserves Discussion The Northman

I am usually so down for folklore, medieval period pieces, and a bunch of crazy shit happening, but for me, this was a big miss. Already discussed in my Letterboxd review.

Best Title Our Father

This was a (pretty poorly made) documentary about a religious fanatic and sick-in-the-head fertility doctor who fraudulently used his own sperm to impregnate over 100 women. So, Our Father. I’ve always been a sucker for a double meaning, but damn.

Worst Title Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

Remember the megahit Knives Out? Well now there’s a sequel; it’s called Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery. It is the sequel to Knives Out.

Worst Line “That’s a great time hack! Thank you kindly” -One of the witches in Hocus Pocus 2, not 10 seconds after struggling to pronounce the word lotion (“loh-shun, lohh-shuun”), you know, because they’re from the past and don’t know modern terms, like lotion.

Worst Restraint for the Criminally Insane The shackle around the Riddler’s neck that was so large he could have just lifted it over his dern head

Where Were the Bones?? Bones and All

Many LOLs Everything Everywhere All at Once The Menu RRR

(not too many LOLs this year)

Absent on Purpose Aftersun Causeway Elvis Living

Still Haven’t Seen I don’t remember

One cheeseburger to go. And a gift bag. Thank you for dining at Hawthorn.

#movies #layokies

0 notes

sunkissedpages · 3 years

Text

instead of you [part seventeen]

pairing: [best friend’s brother] tom holland x college!reader

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol +sex

word count: 1.5k

series masterlist

The flight from Naples to Tokyo took fourteen hours, not including the two and a half hour layover in Istanbul, meaning you had sixteen and a half hours to sit in awkward tension-filled silence next to Sam. The tension was one-sided, of course, but it was still agonizing to endure.

You had been able to push your anxiety aside during your last day in Italy because it had been so busy. There had been a power outage in the middle of the night, causing everyone to oversleep and miss the ferry for one of your tours that morning. It had been a scramble to get back on schedule and do as much as possible with the time you had left. The boys had been hungover and their parents were tired of wrangling them. You had dozens of photos on your camera roll of Sam and Harry bickering when they were supposed to be posing for a nice picture, and even more of Tom flicking them off.

But now you were stuck alone with your thoughts, unable to use distraction as a means to escape. You tried reading your book, but found yourself unable to concentrate on the words on the page. After staring at the same paragraph for over fifteen minutes Sam noticed and asked if you were okay and you finally decided to call it quits.

You almost wished the Hollands hadn’t scheduled in a day and a half to adjust to the time zone change. You’d rather exhaust yourself with the nonstop tourist bullshit than have to cope with the reality that you had gotten off to thoughts about your best friend’s brother. Not to mention living with the secret that the same best friend’s brother had kissed you not long before that.

If Sam noticed anything was off, he didn’t mention it. He probably chalked it up to lack of sleep, or perhaps was too tired himself to care.

“Which one of us do you think will be randomly selected in customs today?” Harry asked, stretching his arms above his head.

You were standing in the aisle waiting to deplane, placing bets on who’d get searched by border agents this time. Somehow each time you traveled to a new place one of you was always chosen to get pat down or have your carry-on searched. Tom had yet to be the lucky winner, and you suspected it had something to do with his celebrity status.

“Y/n,” Tom answered easily. “She has the U.S. passport.”

You rolled your eyes. “Like England has a squeaky clean record with Japan.”

“At least we didn’t-”

“Bro, you can’t say the b word on a plane,” Harry interrupted.

“Even when the plane’s on the ground?”

Sam shrugged. “Better safe than sorry.”

“Whatever,” Tom continued. “It’s definitely going to be y/n.”

“Would you mind stepping out of line, ma’am?”

You sighed, not even bothering to look back at the boys. You already knew they were grinning like idiots and you didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. The agent ushered you to the side behind a glass partition, but not before you heard another agent repeat the same question to one of the Hollands. You smiled to yourself, happy not to be the only one singled out.

Behind the privacy screen another agent greeted you and asked you to take your sweatshirt off, explaining that it was too baggy and needed to be checked. You saw other people in baggy clothes who weren’t getting pulled out of line, but assumed they didn’t have the red flag of “U.S. Citizen” printed on their identification that would be cause for any additional suspicion. You complied with the agent’s request and pulled your sweatshirt off for them to further inspect.

You were glad you’d worn a sports bra underneath your sweatshirt because you usually didn’t wear anything underneath them. As soon as your head was out of the pullover you immediately met by Tom’s polite smile.

He averted his eyes as soon as he saw you, pausing his conversation with the official to mumble a quiet ‘sorry’ to you as he was shown to the spot next to yours.

You zoned out as they spoke, only aware of him again when he started unbuckling his belt. You caught his eye this time.

“Forgot to take it off,” he explained.

“Sweatshirt’s too loose.”

You both faced forward as the customs officials proceeded through the motions. You were stuck standing there half-naked with your arms wrapped around your chest self-consciously while an agent pat Tom’s legs down.

“Dad said we can meet them at baggage claim,” Tom said after a few moments of silence between the two of you. “They went on without us.”

“Okay,” you squeaked back in response.

You knew it wouldn’t take long, but it still made you nervous to be alone with Tom. Sam was like a safety blanket, or a buffer between you and him and without him you were afraid it would be painfully awkward.

The woman handed you your sweatshirt back and you had to wait for Tom outside of the screening area. He joined you a minute or so later.

“They find any dirt on you?” you asked from where you were leaning against the wall across from the exit.

“Nope, you?”

“Yeah, actually I’m in custody right now. Can’t believe you missed the handcuffs.”

“Man, what’d they get you for?”

“Identity theft,” you sighed.

“Damn, that’s a bummer,” Tom replied, false sympathy rolling off his words.

He cocked his head in the direction the rest of his family had went, indicating that you should get going, and held out a hand to pull you upright. You took it hesitantly and let him help you.

“I was actually hoping you could bail me out?” you went on, continuing with the bit.

Tom made a sound through his teeth and grimaced. “I’m kinda broke right now.”

“Aren’t you an actor?”

“Sorry, but I think you have me confused with someone else.”

“No, you’re definitely the guy!”

“You’re thinking of Tom Hiddleston,” he insisted.

“Remember that IOU you gave me? I’m cashing it in now.”

“That’s not how it works!”

You laughed. “No, but if I ever actually get arrested I’m using my IOU to get you to bail me out of jail.”

“I don’t think that a kiss and getting bailed out of prison are comparable, but I didn’t put any conditions on that postcard, did I?”

“Nope!” You smiled happily.

“Well that’s on me, so...”

You took the shuttle together to the other side of the airport where the rest of the Hollands were waiting and finally found them with all of your luggage at the furthest carousel from the entrance.

“It’s about time!” Harry yelled over the crowd as soon as he saw you.

Sam grinned when he saw you and you couldn’t help but grin back. He wrapped an arm around you instinctively and you relaxed into his shoulder, relieved to be with him again. It hadn’t dawned on you until that moment just how attached you were, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it because the other Hollands were all looking at you expectantly.

“Did everything go okay?” Nikki asked.

Tom nodded. “They made y/n strip, but it was uneventful otherwise.”

You pursed your lips, cheeks burning. “It was just my sweatshirt!” you hissed to Sam.

“Yeah, but you never wear anything under your sweatshirts!” Sam hissed back.

“I had a bra on this time.”

“Oh, so it was just another night at the bar for you?” You wrestled yourself out of Sam’s grasp at that and glared. “Am I wrong?”

Sam’s dad cut in before you could respond. He had a habit of calling “family meetings” in the middle of public spaces to finalize plans and get everybody on the same page, which was always an experience.

“Alright, gather up, gang!” he said, beckoning you all closer. “So we’ll be staying at... this hotel,” he explained and turned his phone around to show you the name of it. “And the thing is, we have two rooms to share between the six of us. One for your mother and I, and another for you four.”

“What?” Sam asked. “You’re going to make us stay with them?”

“I thought we were getting three rooms like every other time,” Tom chimed in.

“We were meant to, but I made a mistake when booking it,” Dom clarified.

“How?”

“The entire website was in Japanese, Sam. I don’t know Japanese!”

“Dad, Google has a translate webpage option!” Harry groaned.

“Well no one told me that while I was booking this entire trip by myself!”

You traded a look with Tom, who looked just as panicked as you felt. But it would only be for a week. You would find a way to manage. You didn’t really have any other option.

“I’m sure it’ll be fun,” Sam tried, forcing a smile.

“That’s the spirit!” Dom cheered. “We’ll make it work.”

sorry she’s short this week :( but lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

forever tags: @mischiefmanaged49 @bookingbee @cloverrover @captainbuckyy @perhaps-he-schnapped-blog @awkwardfangirl2014 @the-queen-procrastinator @tastingthestarz @sleepybesson @everythingbooknerd @sunshine96love @bitchymathematician @livingincompletesilence @melsbooktrash @swim-deep-or-die @fizzy828 @spider-slutt @theamuz @nedthegay @astroasethic @stuckonspidey @darlingtholland @sgtbookybarnes @tinyplanet-explorers @mildcockandballtorture @uglypastels @gennyld @devin-marie @r-wooooosh @hell-yeah-peter-parker @itssnowingandimstuckinside @relise-thefury @osteporosis @legendsofwholock @peterunderoos @fuckyeahhomerun @nobelwarriorheroes @delicately-important-trash @thwip-it-real-good @claryfray101 @softholand @tomhollandseverything @cool-ultra-nerd @jillanaholland @dinasaur36 @farfromhaz @hanlons-wp @moon-390 @parkerstylesperalta @httpchrisevans @screeching-student-unknown @almondholland @noisyzineeggsbandit @5sos-microwave @quackson-love @smilealways19 @quackeroos @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @wolvesofwinter @mukesnugget @mytonycinematicuniverse @itsjusttor @percysmcu @peterquillzsblog @lovewolfspirit @biebsmylife95 @a-disappointing-teen-author @justanotherusername80 @b-buckys @sunkisseddreamerr @hufflepuffprincess24 @princessxcryxbaby @tinyyoungblood @holyfrickfracks @amii-nyc @clara-licht @veryholland @captainamirica @ultrunning @cocoamoonmalfoy @nellbellzz-blog @bookfrog242 @honeymoonlover @nellabellaa @its-the-solar-system @spiitfiires @tomhollandfangirl1 @parkeromanoff @randomstufflol29 @pogueslandia @hollandswife @bunnyweasley23 @determined-overthinker @madz-holland @hi-yekaterina @rinaaa334 @elishi03 @abcxrandomx @hiraethenthusiast @marajillana

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#instead of you #iou #tom holland series #tom holland x reader #tom holland x bi!reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n

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doubleleoenergy · 3 years

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i. Summer Bummer, Lolita Series

She just might become my lover for real. I might fuck with her all summer for real. They better not holla if I cuff her for real.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: bestfriendsdad!Andy Barber x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, mentions of erection, lewd thoughts, drinking

Words: 2168

Summary: Andy meets Jacob friends for the first time, including y/n.

“Dad, we’re here!” Jacob cried out, opening the front door to his familiar family home.

Jacob Barber had just finished his Junior year at Columbia University and had just finished packing up his things in his apartment before driving back home. His parents had just finalized their divorce over the Christmas Break, and frankly, Jacob was relieved. His father, Andy Barber, seemed to be doing great, much happier without Laurie in his life. Maybe that was why he had agreed to let Jacob and his roommates from Columbia stay in their home for the entire summer leading up to their final year of undergrad.

“I’ll be right down, just changing a lightbulb in the bathroom.” Andy called out from upstairs, finishing his work quickly and disposing of the broken bulb in the bathroom trash can. He took his time down the stairs, smiling widely as he saw Jacob and his friends standing in the kitchen. “Good to have you home, son.” Andy announced, embracing Jacob in a warm embrace. He wasn’t lying at all, yes, he was fine after the divorce, but he did miss having his son at home playing video games or listening to his music too loud. Once Andy let go, he eyed the two other boys behind him, patting Jacob on his shoulder.

“You boys must be Jacob’s roommates, right?” He questioned.

“Yes, sorry dad, this is Rashad and Collin.” Jacob motioned to each of them, watching as his father shook each of their hands. “It’s nice to meet you all, and please, call me Andy. Only my clients call me Mr. Barber.” Andy took a step back, reaching into the fridge to grab a few Coors Light bottles, handing one to each of the boys before turning his attention back to Jacob.

“I thought you said there was another roommate coming, right? The one who you begged me to let intern at my office during the summer?” Andy asked, raising an eyebrow at his son.

Jacob took a swig off his beer bottle, nodding his head. “Yeah, y/n said she’d be here soon, she was just finishing up with a friend for brunch and then she was heading over.” Jacob, Rashad, Collin, and Y/N had been roommates this year in a quaint little apartment about five minutes from Columbia’s main campus. Andy had been to the apartment once to meet up with Jacob for dinner in the Fall during one of his many fights with Laurie, though Jacob’s roommates had all been out that day.

“Alright, well why don’t you boys make yourselves at home, take your pick of any of the guest rooms upstairs and let me know if you need anything. I was thinking of firing up the grill, it’s such a beautiful day out and the swimming pool contractors just finished with the new pool out back.” Andy opens the doors of the fridge again, pulling out the hamburger meat as the three men race up the stairs to look at the rooms they’d be occupying for the next few months. “Sure dad, thanks!” Jacob calls back, giving his father a short wave of his hand.

About an hour later the boys had all settled into the Barber’s backyard, speakers against the home blaring the hottest songs of the summer. Andy and the boys stood around the grill, exchanging stories of their latest semester and giving Andy a chance to get to know Rashad and Collin better. He was quite impressed with the type of people Jacob had chosen to associate himself with. Rashad was an engineering major like Jacob while Collin was studying chemistry.

After the boys finished laughing about Collin and Jacob’s double date gone terribly wrong, Jacob’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, glancing at the screen with a smile. “Y/N’s pulling in, I’m going to go help her with her bags.” The other boys stayed next to Andy, watching as he flipped the last set of burgers on the grill.

“She’s gotta look heavenly in a bikini, right bro?” Rashad asks Collin, nudging him playfully in the side.

“You got a thing for y/n? Because I don’t think it’d be too appropriate to get with someone you are living the entire summer with, especially under my roof.” Andy objected, removing the burgers off the grill and onto the plate beside him.

Both Rashad and Collin burst out laughing, taking swigs from their beer bottles as they do. “Nah, Andy. Y/N’s a smoke show don’t get me wrong, but we can look but don’t touch. She’s not a relationship type of woman anyhow.” Rashad teased.

Just as the two boys finished their snickering, Jacob opens the screen door, the two immediately jogging up to give y/n a hug.

“What, you boys miss me that much after being apart for only a day?” She teased, Collin finally releasing her from his death grip. Jacob pulls y/n out into the yard, stopping right in front of the grill where Andy was turning off the burners.

“Dad, this is y/n.” He gestures towards the woman beside him just as y/n sticks out a hand for Andy to shake.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Barber, I’ve heard so much about you.” Andy finally turns his head in the direction of her voice, his eyes locking on hers as his heart skips a beat in his chest.

“It’s nice to meet you too, and please, call me Andy.” He reaches forward to shake her hand, taking in the whole sight of her. Her hair hung in loosely tousled waves down her back, stopping just above her breasts that were jutting out of her black lace bodysuit, which clung tightly to her hourglass figure and was tucked into her jean shorts that barely seemed to cover her ass. Her lips were plump and juicy, the color of a glass of fruit punch, a dotting of light freckles across her cheeks. Her eyes were striking, she wore no mascara, yet her lashes were thick and long. She was breathtakingly beautiful, a ‘smoke show’ as Rashad had said, indeed.

Y/N watched how Andy’s eyes engulfed her body, tilting her head to one side as she pretended not to notice. “Well Andy, thank you again for letting us all stay with you this summer, and thank you for the internship. I would rather work a paid internship than work with these boys anywhere.” She teased, ruffling Jacob’s hair.

“It’s no trouble at all, our office could use a good intern for the summer.” He agreed, eyes lingering a little too long on her perky breasts again.

“Maybe we can carpool to work, I’m all about environmentalism.” Her words are flirtatiously drifting off her tongue, a seductive smile spreading across her lips. Was Andy imagining this?

“R-right, yeah sounds good.” He moves to grab the plate of burgers by the grill, gesturing to the house. “Boys, please bring out the salad, condiments, and tableware from the counter and come set the table. Oh, and get y/n a beer.”

Andy moves to the patio table and sets down the plate of burgers, watching y/n as she slowly sinks into the chair next to him. He catches a whiff of her perfume, a heavenly mix of oranges, vanilla, and sandalwood wafting through his nostrils. It’s the perfect scent for her, he thought, moving to sit at the far end of the table.

The boys come back with all the supplies for dinner, including y/n’s beer, which she is already nursing happily from. Andy’s eyes focus on how her lips wrap around the top of the glass bottle, clearing his throat as if to rid himself of his dirty thoughts.

“So, y/n, what made you want to intern in my office?” He questioned, assembling a burger onto his plate. Y/N tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, carefully putting a helping of salad onto her own plate before assembling the rest of her meal.

“I’m completing my undergraduate degree and then hopefully getting admitted to law school to become an attorney. I figured interning in a real office would be a great first step.” She stuck her fork into the salad, opening her mouth to take in the bite.

“So, what are you getting your undergrad in?”

“My major is human rights with a minor in economics.” Her eyes met Jacob’s, a smile spreading on her face. “That’s how I actually found out Jake-y here was looking for another roommate. We had microeconomics together. Then I got introduced to these two losers-“ She teased, motioning to the other two guys at the table who feigned hurt expressions. “-and the rest is history.” The boys next to her were all chowing down as usual as if they hadn’t been fed in days.

As they take the time to finish eating, y/n lets the boys do most of the talking. She’s not a huge sharer when she first meets people, and frankly she’s glad to have the guys around to keep her entertained all summer. The dinner is spent catching way-too-long glances from Andy, his eyes lingering on hers for a bit too long here and there. There’s something about him that intrigues her, maybe it’s because he’s not a boy but a man, or maybe it’s just her usual game of cat and mouse, men usually fell to putty at her feet and she assumed he’d be the same.

“That was great dad, thank you.” Jacob says, finishing his third burger of the night. “Anyone up for a late-night swim?” He asked, standing up from the table and picking up a few of the items from it to take them inside. Rashad and Collin follow suit, with y/n trailing behind.

“Sounds good.” Rashad replies, going over to set his plate in the sink before bounding up the stairs. Andy walks back in as the four head upstairs to change, turning on the sink and rinsing off the dishes before setting them in the drying rack on the counter.

Shortly after finishing washing his third plate, he hears the boys running down the stairs, pushing each other to see who can do a cannonball in the pool first. Andy can’t help but chuckle to himself at their energy, it truly was nice to have noise in the house again.

“Can I help you, Mr. Barber?” Andy turns his head to the soft voice behind him, his cock twitching in his jeans. She’s standing in front of him in the tiniest floral bikini he’s even seen on a woman, the bottoms barely covering her slit and leaving nothing to the imagination of her ass.

“It’s Andy.” He chokes out, licking his lips before turning his attention back to the sink. Y/N sashays over to his side, grabbing the clean towel off the counter and starting to dry the dishes as Andy sets them into the rack.

“Right, I’m sorry, Andy.” Her eyes trail over his figure as she speaks, he can feel her eyes on him, and he shifts his weight as he stands to make sure his cock couldn’t be seen through the fabric of his jeans. “Thank you again for letting us all stay here; I was hoping not to have to deal with another summer bummer.” Her thin fingers set each dry dish carefully atop the other, Andy’s eyes glancing over one last time before he turns off the water, drying his hands on a clean towel.

He clears his throat. “Of course, any friend of Jacob’s is a friend of mine.” Suddenly, as if his ears are burning, Jacob opens the screen door sopping wet.

“You coming y/n?” He asks, cocking an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, I was just helping your dad clean up.”

Andy shifts uncomfortably, trying to hide the erection in his pants. “Hey kiddo, I’m going to bed, you guys have fun tonight.” He turns to walk down the hallway of the first floor to his bedroom, hearing y/n’s soft voice echoing out to him.

“Goodnight Andy.” She purred, Jacob finally picking her up over his shoulder and carrying her out to the pool area, her cries of protest lingering as he shut the screen door behind them.

Once locked away in his room Andy let out a sigh, undoing his jeans and letting his cock spring free from his underwear. He couldn’t believe the way he was getting hard for his son’s best friend, he hadn’t even had a chance to think of another woman since the divorce, but y/n just had this sickeningly sweet seduction about her, he knew it matched a certain name.

“Lolita.” He murmured, and though she wasn’t a 12-year old girl from the novel, because ew, he did seem to have some sinful obsession with her after having just met. Is this love or lust or some game on repeat? Andy didn’t know, but one thing was for sure, he was definitely about to jerk off to sexual thoughts of her in that bikini.

Tagging those who may be interested. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list: @midnightf @my-divine-death @saamwilsonn @fierylibraa @fuckandfluff @rattlemyb0nes @rootcrop @goldenboysteve @turtoix @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @ccmarvelxx

#doubleleoenergyseries: lolita #DLE Series: Lolita #andy barber #andy barber x reader #andy barber x female reader

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chungledownbi · 3 years

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[ID: a collection of tweets from Danielle Radford that read; - "Of all of the cities Gotham can be modeled on, I never expected Seattle" - "It’s a bummer summer city where the police force is proven to be corrupt (google it), it rains all the time and Nirvana is constantly playing for some reason Gotham is Seattle" - "I’m sorry, 4Chan Bros and hoodies and black women keeping their hair short and wearing wigs because of the humidity probably? Seattle" - "Exactly" this last one includes a link to an article by Kirsten Kendrick and Amelia Greim, KPLU titled "Why are there so many serial killers in the Northwest?" /END ID]

#described #the batman #danielle radford

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othersystems · 3 years

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in you observation, what's nyc like now compared to 10 or 15 years ago

veryyy different. like almost not describable. everything was cheaper- rent, food.

3 dollar beer and shots was the norm for bars, lunch in the east village i never paid over 6 dollars for.

15 years ago greenpoint was around 400 for a room. 10 years ago a lot of my friends lived in bushwick, none do anymore its insanely expensive now. at the time basically tandem was the only trendy bar there. no one paid more than 400 for a room. most apartments were partially abandoned and peoples floors would fall through all the time... lol. This was off of morgan/jefferson. 2014 i had several friends who lived on stockholm street off dekalb also all paid around 800 for full two bedroom apartments. that summer i remember everyone got evicted and those same apartments were quickly renovated and going for 2200 a month later. there were no bars there before and a month later a bunch popped up. it happens very fast.

Chinatown was similar friends paid under 1000 for 2 bedroom apartments. also mostly chinese busineses there basically the only non chinese owned places were like 169 bar, clockwork and forgetmenot. a looot less gentrification. obviously happened bc artists started moving to these areas.

williamsburg waterfront was all still former warehouses that had diy spaces until like 2014.

there were basically no "trendy cocktail bars" anywhere. basically everyone hung out at dives. they were actual dives not "self aware" dives. around 2014 a lot of those "self aware" type fake dives started popping up, then the cocktail bars 2015/2016. also there was a lot less "craft" food. everything kind of became "self aware" and expensive mid 2010s. the "luxury" trend or whatever.

no uber obviously. just carried around different business cards for car services and would haggle with them to see if they would pick me up and drive me from bk to manhatten or opposite. no yellow cabs wanted to cross the bridge. i didnt have a smart phone until 2013. would write down directions in a little notebook before i went anywhere. called people to ask for directions a looot.

Bros and sorority type people did not come to brooklyn at all, they also didnt come hang out in the east village or chinatown either. they partied in murray hill and lower east side and west village. they realllly stayed in their zones. rent was still high in the east village bc so many colleges, but a very different vibe. bars were mostly old weirdos and veeeery cheap. lots of places to dance for free every night- lit lounge, arrow bar, etc. was very fun. nothing was ever too crowded.

Definitely think a lot of bros etc started traveking to different areas after google maps/seeing places on insta. restaraunts bars etc started blowing up really fast in a way they never did before.

before mid 2010s there were tons more parties everywhere, like every night huge free parties, and more space for them. had friends who squatted in abandoned "mansions" just huge old buildings in bushwick and would have giant ragers. lots of people living or having studios in huge warehouses that were actually cheap, so huge parties there. more similar to like philly or something. people would throw parties at bars in chinatown where it would be like a $2 cover and open bar, free drinks all night. generally just more affordable, more party spots. bruce high quality had free parties all the time on their space on ave A. also free classes. a lot more focus on things being free or affordable. lots more diy spaces. every opening everywhere had a huge free dance party after party. just cheap and more fun.

the "alternative" scene or art scene or whatever now is a LOT more rich kids. its really a bummer. really expensive, more into the like illusion of glamor or something. there were not 50 dollar raves. people wouldnt even pay a 10 dollar cover to go dancing. also this very very insecure feeling mean self important vibe now where before everything was kind of fun and silly. it was less "cool" to be weird or make art. it was kind of more goofy feeling in a good way. a lot more people look fashionable or are "into" art now but it feels a loooot more vapid. the social capital thing is not the same, there wasnt social capital for dressing weird or making art in the same way there is now. instagram/tik tok realllly changed things with fashion and art. feels so much less exciting. not everything was better tho obv most scenes had really fucked abusive dudes in them and there was not a culture of confronting that. and music scenes especially were a LOT more white. but the "alternative" scene also skews a lot more wealthy now. a lot of these people would have just been in sororities living in murray hill before instagram.

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randombubblegum · 3 years

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Hi sydney I wanna send you some good vibes 💕💕💕💕 you seem very sad lately about parx and I'm really sorry :( even I admit it's not so much fun right now and I wish it didn't turn out like this, like it's hard to ignore how bad it's gotten. Still, I'm glad to hear you've been enjoying yourself with friends irl and there's still things out there that can make you happy 😊 I wanna hope someday we can all enjoy parx again and have fun again 💕💕

cherryyyyyyy T____T bro please im gonna cry in real life………. youre so sweet literally all the time……. sorryyyy for being a downer about parx lol i know its dumb to get my feelings hurt about some band dude i dont know acting like an asshole but yknow……. just the amount of emotional investment and creative energy ive put into parx makes it rlyyyyy upsetting when they do things i cant feel good about or root for T__T kind of a bummer to think about how excited and full of energy we all were last summer when i/ we were churning out fics and awtto was rly taking off but i guess thats just how it goes…… anyway i hope ur having fun too with art and other fandoms!!! sending good vibes right back ur way thank u 😿💕

#sorryyyyy for being mopey and sulky lol….. its just a bummer to my core #not to blabber on when literally no one asked but i need a creative outlet or i go literally crazy like a pacing zoo animal lol #so having whats been my creative outlet for a while suddenly feel so sour is…… not so fun #im kinda hoping itll pass or awsten will go offline again or WHATEVER so i can get some of that fun back #or else i hope smth else grabs my attenion but i dunno… blegh!#mail time!

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musicals-n-cartoons · 2 years

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Them's the Breaks, Kid Reaction

Damnmit, I procrastinated on writing a reaction post AGAIN. Alright, here are my thoughts on Reaching Out in short: I liked it a lot, lumity levels were off the chart, Edric was great, and it is interesting that they explicitly said that Luz's father died. However, this was the second time Luz was hiding something from Amity, and this time it hurt Amity. My inner angsty teenager is worried that this is going to be following the rule of three. Follies was set up, Reaching Out was the reminder… the only thing missing is the payoff. Let's hope that Luz makes good choices.

But that's old news, here's my third Owl House reaction post!

Pre-episode thoughts

So this is going to be a flashback episode showing how Eda met Raine. I wonder if there is going to be a framing device, or would they just go directly to the past? Maybe it will go back and forth between the past and the present. Oh! Maybe Luz will ask Eda about the jacket, triggering the flashback. Tho if there is a framing device then Eda (or Lilith!) will be telling the story for a reason. Self-reflection, or imparting a lesson to Luz?

Episode thoughts

Luz's learning some new glyph combos, and they look like less complex versions of the one made by Philps.

Ah, she is basing these ones on the Philps' margin doodles in the hope of finding one that can fix her portal. She only got so much titan's blood left after all.

Aww, she misses her mom, poor baby. But Eda's here to distract her with some backstory!

They skip the theme song again, we're getting another long one.

Young Eda and Lilith are practicing with flashcards, all excited about joining the emperor's coven. Eda got her jacket! Interesting that they show Eda being just as much a nerd as Lilith, or Luz will be.

Darius and Alador were friends?!

There was a principal before Bump? But I thought Bump helped conquer this school. I guess he was just a lieutenant.

"Can't hear them, can't trust them" words to live by.

Lilith manages to escape getting caught, but Eda is not so lucky.

This principal guy is intense, "understand evil", they are just kids bro.

Lily is a cute nickname, but Eda's in trouble.

Bump comes out of a hole in the wall like some kind of house elf.

So Principal Faust gives Eda and Bump a special mission to clear their perceived weaknesses.

The idea that Bump was the one writing those reports in "Something Ventured, Something Framed" makes a lot more sense now.

Bump tries to downplay Eda's troublemaking but fails.

Man, IFWOT does not live up to Bump's hyping.

Terra Snapdragon is here! And damn, she was a head witch for this long?

IFWOT's now HECK I guess.

Ha, mulch into my garden… wait you're not joking?

The first task is trust falls. They are not exactly setting a high bar here.

Oh damn, Eda actually fails it by being too cool.

Young Raine is here! And Raine Raphasdy is here in the background too.

Eda plays the skull trick again.

Oh, this is too cute. This is the meet-cute that all meet-cutes will be compared to.

They go thru a few trials together (which I guess means that it's ok to work together?) and they seem to be doing great.

Eda's blushing at Raine's athletic ability!

Eda has no friends at Hexside except Lilith, that's a bummer. Clearly, what Eda needs to do is first go to the human realm for the summer…

Raine says they are almost home-free, famous last words.

Oh no, Snapdragon thinks the challenges are too easy and wants to add a little more difficulty. Look, this is clearly just a fun way to boost the egos of kids/schools, don't ruin this Snapdragon.

A game of coven vs wild, and Eda & Raine are on opposite sides. Both in the game, but also where they will end up later in life!

"We are in heck people" oh god not the lame puns.

Snapdragon thinks she would have been a good mum, no you wouldn't! Also, does this means that she's Britsh? Somehow?

Eda gets pressganged by two teammates who wish to target Raine in particular. Gets all the best juice, huh?

Bump tries to end the madness by citing child labor law but fails.

Wow, those coven mates wanted to knock out Raine first, and now Raine's the last wild witch left, Eda's team suck.

It's a showdown between Eda and Raine, and wow those promo previews are not nearly as angsty as we thought.

Oh, they did a little dance number, bravo!

Terra likes their spirit but doesn't want to reward disobediences, so no ribbons for anyone. No ribbons? Boo! Think of all those kids who are going to get punished because of this. Snapdragon better not be overseeing the next IFWOT.

Ah, a letter of recommendation! Eda and Bump are saved!

edda and lilth

Raine is back! And they are going to Hexside now.

St. Epiderm is located at the knee, fascinating.

Wait everyone fell asleep to Eda's story, how rude!

How did Luz draw that?

Oh god, I just realized that Terra was calling Raine sprout all along.

Oh, oh, oh! It's that flavor-changing song!

Yes, Raine is back in action again!

A tiny abomination! It kind of looks like Darius's ones a little. Secret coup in progress?

Oh, so that's why Raine isn't contacting Eda. They are doing the old "protecting you from my enemies by breaking up" routine.

Reaction to other reactions

1,300 recent posts, allowing the Owl House to secure the number one trending tag.

Everybody is just assuming that Darius is on Raine's side now, and I can't say I disagree.

Oh damn, Raine did that whistle thing during Follies too! She has been playing Terra the whole time!

That principal dude got little pictures for his horns, adorable.

HAHA YES! Luz is keeping the jacket in the later episodes! Considering she wasn't wearing it this episode, I am going to assume that it's going to be her new adventuring outfit.

Seen some chatter that this is kind of a "filler episode". After giving it a little thought, I can see where they are coming from. The flashback doesn't really have anything to do with the present day, no new revelations or hard-won wisdom, just young Eda going on an adventure. Of course, I think people are too obsessed with avoiding "filler". When I was a kid*, all episodes were "filler" ones and I liked it!

Prediction for future episodes

I think the going theory is that Luz and Hunter are going to be in Belos/Philps' mindscape, tho the talk about "twisted nightmare" makes me think that another possibility is that they will go into the Titan's one instead.

On a lighter note, that leaked screenshot makes me think that Luz is going to wear the jacket because her cloak was damaged.

#the owl house #owl house #toh #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers #owl house spoilers #toh reactions #*me saying this as if i didn't just graduate high school a few year ago

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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HBO Max New Releases: August 2021

https://ift.tt/3A1bKHN

Back when WarnerMedia (which technically no longer exists in the same form) announced that it would be premiering its entire slate of 2021 films on HBO Max, this is the kind of month they likely had in mind. For HBO Max’s list of new releases in August 2021 is highlighted by an honest-to-goodness blockbuster.

The Suicide Squad is set to premiere Aug. 5 on HBO Max. This film featuring some of DC Comics’ most curious villains borrows its name, format, and many of its characters from the David Ayers-directed 2016 film Suicide Squad. This time around, the rogues gallery is directing by James Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy) and his colorful disposition. In addition to The Suicide Squad, August sees the arrival of the Hugh Jackman-starring Reminiscence on Aug. 20.

Movies

The Suicide Squad First Reactions Are In

By John Saavedra

Movies

How The Suicide Squad is Different from Guardians of the Galaxy

By Mike Cecchini

It’s a good month for movies overall on HBO Max. Many intriguing library titles arrive on Aug. 1, including Collateral, The Fugitive (1993), The Shawshank Redemption, and Spawn. The Jurassic Park trilogy (Aug. 14), and Godzilla v. Kong (Aug. 17) make their return to the Warner streaming service a little later on.

HBO Max’s original TV offerings can’t compete with The Suicide Squad in August 2021, but there is still plenty to enjoy. The third season of erstwhile DC Universe series Titans premieres on Aug. 12. That will be followed by the second season of former Comedy Central delight The Other Two.

HBO Max New Releases – August 2021

August 1 2 Days in the Valley, 1996 (HBO) 9/11: Fifteen Years Later, 2016 A Mighty Wind, 2003 (HBO) A Walk Among the Tombstones, 2014 (HBO) The Accidental Spy, 2002 (HBO) The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, 2005 (HBO) Americano, 2017 (HBO) Anna to the Infinite Power, 1982 (HBO) Backtrack, 2016 (HBO) Basic Instinct, 1992 (HBO) Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction, 2006 (HBO) (Extended Version) Best in Show, 2000 (HBO) Betrayal at Attica, 2021 The Betrayed, 2008 (HBO) The Birdcage, 1996 (HBO) Black Death, 2010 (HBO) Blue Ruin, 2014 (HBO) Brown Sugar, 2002 (HBO) Changeling, 2008 (HBO) Chasing Mavericks, 2012 (HBO) Collateral, 2004 (HBO) Constantine, 2005 Deep Cover, 1992 (HBO) The Devil’s Double, 2011 (HBO) Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, 1988 (HBO) Dolphin Tale, 2011 (HBO) The Double, 2014 (HBO) Empire of the Sun, 1987 The End, 1978 (HBO) Envy, 2004 (HBO) Epic, 2013 (HBO) Extranjero (aka Foreigner), 2018 (HBO) For Your Consideration, 2006 (HBO) Freejack, 1992 (HBO) The Fugitive, 1993 Ghosts of Mississippi, 1996 The Great Gatsby, 1974 (HBO) The Great Gatsby, 2013 (HBO) Gun Shy, 2017 (HBO) Hangman, 2017 (HBO) Heaven Can Wait, 1978 (HBO) Hitchcock, 2012 (HBO) Horror of Dracula, 1958 How to Deal, 2003 (HBO) Hudson Hawk, 1991 Humpday, 2009 (HBO) Imperium, 2016 (HBO) Inception, 2010 Joe, 2014 (HBO) Johnny English Reborn, 2011 (HBO) Julia, 2009 (HBO) Last Action Hero, 1993 The Lincoln Lawyer, 2011 Malcolm X, 1992 Man Down, 2016 (HBO) The Man in the Iron Mask, 1998 (HBO) Mean Streets, 1973 Mr. Soul!, 2018 New in Town, 2009 (HBO) Nobody Walks, 2012 (HBO) Nurse 3D, 2013 (HBO) One Hour Photo, 2002 (HBO) The Out-of-Towners, 1999 (HBO) Popeye, 1980 (HBO) The Pope of Greenwich Village, 1984 (HBO) The Prince, 2014 (HBO) The Reader, 2008 (HBO) Red, 2008 (HBO) Red Riding Hood, 2011 Requiem for a Dream, 2000 Scary Movie, 2000 The Score, 2001 (HBO) Sex and the City, 2008 Sex and the City 2, 2010 The Shawshank Redemption, 1994 Spawn, 1997 The Spirit, 2008 (HBO) The Square, 2017 (HBO) Stand and Deliver, 1988 (HBO) Tango & Cash, 1989 Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo, 2006 Thirteen Ghosts, 2001 Vice, 2015 (HBO) War, 2007 (HBO) Woodstock (Director’s Cut), 1994 You’ve Got Mail, 1998

August 2 Small Town News: KPVM Pahrump, Documentary Series Finale (HBO)

August 3 Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, 1993 Obama: In Pursuit of a More Perfect Union, Documentary Premiere (HBO)

August 5 Furry Friends Forever: Elmo Gets A Puppy, Max Original Special Premiere The Suicide Squad, Warner Bros. Film Premiere, 2021 (Available in 4K UHD, HDR10, Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos in English Only on supported devices)

August 6 Sin Aliento (aka Breathless), 2020 (HBO)

August 7 All My Life, 2020 (HBO)

August 8 A Different World

August 10 Hard Knocks ’21: Dallas Cowboys, Sports-Based Reality Series Premiere (HBO)

August 12 FBOY Island, Max Original Season Finale The Hype, Max Original Series Premiere Titans, Max Original Season 3 Premiere

August 14 Jurassic Park, 1993 (HBO) Jurassic Park III, 2001 (HBO) The Lost World: Jurassic Park, 1997 (HBO)

August 15 The White Lotus, Limited Series Finale (HBO)

August 16 Hard, Season 3 Premiere (HBO) Top Gear, Season 29

August 17 Godzilla vs. Kong, 2021 (HBO) (Available in 4K UHD, HDR10, Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos in English Only on supported devices)

August 19 Eyes on the Prize: Hallowed Ground, Max Original Documentary Special Premiere Looney Tunes Cartoons Back to School Special, Max Original Special Premiere Marlon Wayans: You Know What It Is, Max Original Special Premiere Sweet Life: Los Angeles, Max Original Series Premiere

August 20 Half Brothers, 2020 (HBO) Reefa, 2021 (HBO) Reminiscence, Warner Bros. Film Premiere, 2021 (Available in 4K UHD, HDR10, Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos in English Only on supported devices)

August 22 100 Foot Wave, Documentary Series Finale (HBO) San Andreas, 2015

August 24 Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel (HBO) Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy, 2021

August 25 Lincoln: Divided We Stand, 2021

August 26 The Other Two, Max Original Season 2 Premiere

August 28 Magic Mike XXL, 2015 (HBO)

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Leaving HBO Max – August 2021

August 5 The Windsors: Inside the Royal Dynasty, 2019

August 11 A Mermaid’s Tale, 2017 Against the Wild 2: Survive the Serengeti, 2016 Against The Wild, 2014 Alpha & Omega 5: Family Vacation, 2015 Alpha & Omega: Dino Digs, 2016 Blue Valentine, 2010 Earth Girls Are Easy, 1989 The Escape Artist, 1982 Hecho En Mexico, 2012 Jennifer Lopez Dance Again, 2016 La Mujer de Mi Hermano, 2005 Leapfrog Letter Factory Adventures: Amazing Word Explorers, 2015 Leapfrog Letter Factory Adventures: Counting on Lemonade, 2014 Leapfrog Letter Factory Adventures: The Letter Machine Rescue Team, 2014 Love and Sex, 2000 Mistress, 1992 Mother’s Day, 2012 Tender Mercies, 1983 The Men Who Stare at Goats, 2009 Turtle Tale, 2018

August 14 Leapfrog: Numberland, 2012 Teen Titans Go! vs. Teen Titans, 2019

August 15 Joker, 2019 (HBO) Space Jam: A New Legacy, 2021

August 27 Dead Silence, 2007 (HBO) White Noise, 2005 (HBO)

August 29 Assault on Precinct 13, 2005 (HBO)

August 30 Serendipity, 2001

August 31 54: The Director’s Cut, 1998 (HBO) 40 Days and 40 Nights, 2002, (HBO) A Cinderella Story, 2004 A Cinderella Story: If The Shoe Fits, 2016 A Cinderella Story: Once Upon A Song, 2011 Alpha and Omega: The Great Wolf Games, 2014 (HBO) The American President, 1995 Another Cinderella Story, 2008 Astro Boy, 2009 (HBO) August Rush, 2007 Babe, 1995 (HBO) Babe: Pig in the City, 1998 (HBO) The Barkleys of Broadway, 1949 Barnyard, 2006 (HBO) Barry Lyndon, 1975 Battle for Terra, 2009 (HBO) The Bay, 2012 (HBO) Be Cool, 2005 (HBO) Beverly Hills Cop, 1984 (HBO) Beverly Hills Cop II, 1987 (HBO) Beverly Hills Cop III, 1994 (HBO) Beyond the Sea, 2004 (HBO) Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey, 1991 (HBO) Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, 1989 (HBO) Billy Elliot, 2000 (HBO) Black Hawk Down, 2001 Blade, 1998 Blade Runner: The Final Cut, 2007 Blow, 2001 The Bonfire of the Vanities, 1990 Bright Young Things, 2004 (HBO) Butter, 2012 (HBO) Cannery Row, 1982 Capricorn One, 1978 (HBO) Carefree, 1938 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, 2005 City of God, 2003 (HBO) City Slickers, 1991 (HBO) City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold, 1994 Clifford, 1994 (HBO) Closer, 2004 Code 46, 2004 (HBO) Cold Creek Manor, 2003 (HBO) Cold Mountain, 2003 Countdown, 1968 The Crow, 1994 (HBO) The Crow: City of Angels, 1996 (HBO) The Crow: Wicked Prayer, 2006 (HBO) Daddy Day Care, 2003 Dave, 1993 The Dirty Dozen, 1967 Dream House, 2011 (HBO) Eight Legged Freaks, 2002 El Chata (aka The Sparring Partner), 2019 (HBO) Freddy vs. Jason, 2003 Free Willy, 1993 Free Willy: The Adventure Home, 1995 Free Willy: Escape from Pirate’s Cove, 2010 Free Willy 3: The Great Rescue, 1997 Frequency, 2000 Get Shorty, 1995 (HBO) Gone, 2012 (HBO) The Hard Way, 1991 (HBO) Harry and the Hendersons, 1987 (HBO) Heidi, 2005 The High Note, 2020 (HBO) The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, 2012 Home Alone 4, 2002 (HBO) Home Alone: The Holiday Heist, 2012 (HBO) Hudson Hawk, 1991 The Hundred-Foot Journey, 2014 (HBO) Innerspace, 1987 Inside Moves, 1980 (HBO) The Interview, 2014 Jack The Giant Slayer, 2013 Jackie Brown, 1997 Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer, 2011 (HBO) The Last Exorcism, 2012 (Extended Version) (HBO) Lay the Favorite, 2012 (HBO) Let’s Go to Prison, 2006 (HBO) Life is Beautiful, 1998 (HBO) Live by Night, 2016 (HBO) Logan’s Run, 1976 Lolita, 1962 Look Who’s Talking, 1989 Malice, 1993 (HBO) Man on a Ledge, 2012 (HBO) Menace II Society, 1993 Miss Congeniality, 2000 Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous, 2005 Monkey Trouble, 1994 Mr. Nanny, 1993 National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, 1989 National Lampoon’s European Vacation, 1985 National Lampoon’s Vacation, 1983 No Eres Tu Soy Yo, 2011 Ocean’s 11, 1960 The Omega Man, 1971 On Golden Pond, 1981 (HBO) On Moonlight Bay, 1951 Osmosis Jones, 2001 Our Brand Is Crisis, 2015 (HBO) Over the Hedge, 2006 (HBO) Parental Guidance, 2012 (HBO) Pathfinder, 2007 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) The People vs. Larry Flynt, 1996 Pinocchio, 2012 Point Blank, 1967 Popstar, 2005 Prometheus, 2012 (HBO) PT 109, 1963 Replicas, 2019 (HBO) Running on Empty, 1988 Ruta Viva, 2018 (HBO) Saw, 2004 (Extended Version) (HBO) Saw II, 2005 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Saw III, 2006 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Saw IV, 2007 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Saw V, 2008 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Saw VI, (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Saw: The Final Chapter, 2010 (Director’s Cut) (HBO) Shall We Dance, 1937 Sherlock Holmes, 2009 Sinbad: Beyond the Veils of Mist, 2000 (HBO) Sling Blade, 1996 (HBO) Some Came Running, 1958 South Central, 1992 Spies Like Us, 1985 Spooky Buddies, 2011 (HBO) Steel, 1997 Still of the Night, 1982 (HBO) Striptease, 1996 Stuart Little, 1999 Stuart Little 2, 2002 The Stunt Man, 1979 (HBO) Summer Catch, 2001 Sweet November, 2001 Swimfan, 2002 (HBO) The Tank, 2017 (HBO) This Must Be The Place, 2012 (HBO) Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride, 2005 The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, 1948 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, 1997 (HBO) Twister, 1996 Un 4to de Josue, 2018 (HBO) Unforgettable, 2017 (HBO) Unlocking the Cage, 2017 (HBO) Vegas Vacation, 1997 Wanderlust, 2012 (HBO) Wedding Crashers, 2005 Within, 2016 (HBO) Wolves at the Door, 2017 (HBO) The Year of Living Dangerously, 1983

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