#bumper rails

[antirepurp]

btw why did they allow you to switch rails with the joystick in later games and fuck up my muscle memory. my panic has thrown me into a goddamn pit again

[youwillneverfindout]

WELCOME TO THE OCTOBER VOID!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

[timoswerner]

crash over the road update: they just came along in another car, tied the cars together with some rope so i'm like oh looks like they're gonna tow it away. why wouldn't you call someone out to do that. anyway all they did is pull it a foot forward so it wasn't hanging over someone's drive way lmao but they've left it on double yellow lines not only is there car fucked but they'll probably get a parking ticket too if they leave it there tomorrow

[luv4freddie]

Aerophobia (fear of flying)

Your fear of flying had kept you off a broom ever since first year, but dating Oliver Wood was bound to fix that. 575 words, fluffy mini story

“Please doll?”

You’d been very adamant about one thing in your time at Hogwarts, and it was that you would not be getting on a broom.

Your first year flying lessons had been a very unfortunate experience, with the amount of falling and bumping into other students you did it was a miracle they even let you finish the class.

And ever since then you’d sworn off getting on one of those cursed cleaning tools.

A relatively easy ban, until you ended up dating Oliver Wood— someone who might actually spend more time on his broom than on his feet.

One thing led to another, and now here you are, with your boyfriend giving you his pretty puppy eyes and a broom hovering next to him.

“I told you-”

“I know,” he says, familiar with your objections, “but your wonderful boyfriend is here and he’s an amazing flyer and he promises to not let you fall off.”

“He’s also talking in third person, which is weird,” you mumble.

Oliver laughs, but he recognizes that you’ve given up.

He holds the broom horizontally and lets you climb on, before climbing on behind you.

He’s reaching around you to hold his hands in front of you so that you’re trapped, his arms acting like the bumper rails you’ve seen at muggle bowling alleys.

“Relax,” he whispers, his breath tickling the shell of your ear.

“Just go before I change my mind.” You state, gritting your teeth in nervousness.

He lets out another chuckle but kicks off anyway, and you screw your eyes shut as a gust of wind hits you in the face.

The broom stabilizes in the air, and you wait to feel him take off zooming, but he never does.

You cautiously open one eye, squinting around at your surroundings.

You’re hovering about ten feet in the air— not moving.

“Ollie?” You have to speak up to be heard, as you’re too scared of shifting the broom to turn his way.

“Yes love?”

“Why aren’t we moving?”

“Do you want to?”

“I just thought you would.” You risk the small movement of shrugging your shoulders, and you can hear the smile in his voice when he speaks again.

“I’ll move, but you can’t close your eyes, deal?”

“I don’t know…”

He lifts one of his hands off the broom to offer his pinky to you, but you let out a squeal, leaning your back further into his chest.

“Oliver Wood you put your hand back on this broom right now!”

He laughs, “make the deal then.”

You let out a groan, still pushing further into him, and decide that anything is better than falling off the broom.

“Fine. Deal. I’m not moving my hand though.”

He places his hand back on the broom in front of you, at the same time placing a kiss on your cheekbone.

“Good answer.”

You brace for the broom to take off, clutching the handle tighter but keeping your part of the deal up— your eyes stay trained directly in front of you.

Oliver moves one hand further up and the broom gives a small lurch forward.

You hear him laugh at the squeal you let out, but you’re moving much slower and less aggressively than Oliver usually is on his broom, and your fear starts to drain as he continues to gently move the broom forward.

“Look, you can see the courtyard over there,” his voice is calm in your ears, and you excitedly look over.

“I see it! Look! Do you think that’s Fred and George?” You question, pointing to your left at two ant sized figures with red hair.

“Might be.” He hums, trying not to point out your sudden confidence as your hand moves again, pointing at something else.

Five minutes later and you’re back on solid ground, Oliver helping you off the broom with a satisfied grin on his face.

“That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” He teases.

“I guess not,” you concede, popping up to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“What’s that for?” He asks, although he’s already got a smug smile on his face.

“For taking such good care of me.”

He grabs your hand, interlacing your fingers and placing a sweet kiss on your knuckles while leading you back to the castle, his other hand holding the broom.

“I’ll always take care of you.”

[ameliemaaaee]

The Silent Witness - Oneshot Series

(1) How you Meet the BAU Team.

Chapter Information Summary: Y/N finds herself enravelled in the depths of a puzzling case which can only be solved in conjunction with one infamous FBI unit. Content Warnings: Canon Violence/Gore, Awkward!Reader & Spencer, Platonic Hotel Room Sharing. Word Count: 7,986. Read on AO3

Story Masterlist - (1) -

The London Underground was not your favourite place. Yes, you were grateful for London’s fabulous public transport system, especially on the mornings where bumper-to-bumper traffic would only frustrate you more. However, the constant work-day rush of people in business attire, provided a stark contrast to all the tourists in their flamboyant outfits, both equally surmounting your dissociative annoyance.

Not to mention the germs. There was a study done on that. It proved that, when swabbed, The London Underground was the dirtiest place in the city, with ninety-five different strains of bacteria found. In fact, you happened to be friends with this researcher, who in confidence told you that even a one-hour trip on the Tube is enough to raise the long-term risk of heart attacks. And this was simply due to the air pollution. It made you shiver just thinking about it. It was a shame driving in the city was slower.

You were rushed to say the least, evading the rush hour was top priority when you weren’t on call, however an interesting case had come in and your expertise was required. It wasn’t uncommon for you to be in high demand, despite your age you were renowned in London for your competency as a forensic pathologist.

Your life for so many years had resolved around the dead, those whom you had to pry the clues out of. Work remained your whole life, the ability to gather evidence from the silent witness, and bring justice to many was beyond comforting to you. The feeling of winning a case against someone you had scientifically proven guilty, defeated the solemn, and gruesome nature of your job by ten-fold.

Now, you focused on the rattling train below your feet as you timidly clutched the railing above your head. The shuddering sound of the train drawing to a halt beneath your feet, rocking you back and forth. This was it.

The platform was abnormally busy as you made a beeline for the exit, barely noticing the busker who provided the soundtrack to the mornings of so many, for so cheap. Bounding up the steps you surfaced alongside block-red lettering screaming ‘Charing Cross’, The Embankment was just a short walk from here.

You weren’t too sure of the details of your newest case, quite simply that it was ‘a big one’ and that it was a rather public disposal. Public disposals were common in London, however public disposals in busy Underground stations weren’t. Especially with the Night Tube services. A public disposal site told you that this kill was a threat. Whoever it was wanted their attention, they wanted their case to be public, the wanted London to shudder with fear. But alas, the closed station required more walking.

Brushing shoulders with strangers, much like the rest, your gaze was dead set on where you were going. And as The Embankment station neared you sighed. This was tourist London, The Embankment opened out onto the Thames, and once you reached the Thames, Westminster, and Big Ben was in View, and the famed London Eye. But you didn’t have time to take in the part of the city you never dared to enter, you had work.

As you reached the station the Mounted Police immediately caught your eye. Sat astride their horses were people attempting to control and direct the crowds back to Charing Cross; no wonder it had been so abhorrently busy. Ducking under the police tape you were greeted by an uninterested officer who guiltlessly looked you up-and-down. Plastering a smile on face you removed your identification and shoved it politely into his face.

“Dr. Y/N L/N. Home-Office Pathologist.” The officer remains stoic, thumbing you towards a set of stairs where a familiar face stood, ever-stoic, patiently waiting.

“Where’s the body?” You omit the greeting. Angela knew you too well, and you both were past the ‘good morning’s’ and ‘hello’s’ that seemed the ever-so-polite thing to do.

You were a tight-knit pair, ever since school, and bonding over your preferred use of the Oxford comma, you had both shared a solid friendship. It wasn’t based off greetings or words, nor a physical display of affection. It was based off the reliability and trust you felt for each other. It was a simple, and honest friendship. That allowed you to occasionally let-loose on your days off. But today would not be one of those days, in fact you wouldn’t see one ever again.

“The top of the stairs, it’s a male. He’s probably in his 30’s. He has a series of interesting tattoos.” Angela’s candour filled your ears, her level tone forever reassuring you of the collective, daily, London anxiety, which seemed to radiate throughout the city.

“Interesting how?” You raised a brow in curiosity, a small chuckle escaping your lips as Angela rolled her eyes, pushing her teal-ish hair behind her ears, mixing it with her original black-ish strands.

“Interesting as in, you-need-to-see-this-and-contact-the-appropriate-people. That kind of interesting.” She said it so nonchalantly, ‘call the appropriate people.’ That didn’t sound interesting, that sounded like ‘this-guy-has-tattoos-relating-to-some-form-of-terrorism-plans-and-you-should-bring-in-counterterrorism’. And boy, were you right.

“This is bad.” You deadpanned, you had no adjectives for how bad it was, other than it was very, very bad. The police officer a great distance behind you bit his thumb anxiously as you stood buried in a white HazMat-style SOCO suit, Angela kneeling beside you, silently shaking her head.

“Angela, I don’t even know who to call about this.” You gestured to the male lay ahead of you, his body scrawled with descriptive instructions on ‘blowing up the D.C Capitol Building.’

And that’s how you ended up at a bar, drinking with the FBI’s distinguished Behavioural Analysis Unit.

-

The thrashing of bass pounded against your chest as you sauntered through the doorway, away from the cool night air and into the warmth of the bar. You weren’t expecting there to be any live music, but you were pleasantly surprised by the quality of the music, that soon would be drowned out by cheap liquor.

The rest of the BAU trailed into the establishment behind you, slight grins on their faces. All of you had changed, ditching the work clothes. The FBI’s plane would be grounded until tomorrow evening, so they were officially off-duty, and allowed to have fun.

And by the looks on the group’s faces you all needed this, the tensions had run high during your latest case and there had been weeks’ worth of sleepless nights, that the medical doctor deep down inside you didn’t approve of.

“Let’s find a booth!” Garcia practically yelled down your ear over the music. You nodded pointing to a room that sat off the main stage area, where it would undoubtedly be quieter.

Heaving a sigh of relief you slid into a booth, in between the males you had come to know as Dr. Spencer Reid, and Derek Morgan. The men all chuckled lightly as Agent Hotchner stands.

“First round is on me!” You laugh quietly, tucking a stray strand of hair away from your face before giving Hotch your order, double vodka and Diet Coke, your drink of choice.

“You know, I’d never been to London until now.” Derek chuckles, as he leans forward, his elbow resting on the table. His gaze connected with yours.

“It’s a nice city.” Spencer chimes as you shake your head laughing.

“You haven’t even seen it.” You smile, leaning back against the plush backing of the circular booth, your gaze finding Hotch who was carrying a tray of drinks, making a beeline for the table. You hadn’t had a night out in so long, you were practically buzzing at the concept of alcohol.

The band’s melody had faded to a distant hum, your heart synching with the echoing bass that still rumbled the ground beneath your feet.

“I must say, you scrub up nicely Dr. L/N.” You turn your head to Derek who takes in your frame. Derek was an attractive man, you couldn’t lie, and you knew he meant no harm by his comment, but you couldn’t help but feel scrutinised.

You offer him a polite laugh, before turning to Hotch who was dishing out the alcohol. Gratefully you took your drink from his hand, taking a long sip. If you wanted to be able to actually hold a conversation without being too uptight, you would need to be at least tipsy. Plus, the alcohol made you forget about… well, the alcohol that was terrible for your health.

“So, Y/N, I assume this has been an interesting week for you?” You chuckle at Rossi, who raises his glass, before sipping on what appeared to be whiskey.

-

Due to the commotion at the Police stations, and the high-risk of having FBI agents in London they had been assigned to a more discrete location; and lucky for you, that was your lab.

It wasn’t that you were opposed to having FBI agents in your jurisdiction, in fact it was the opposite. You were fascinated by their work, in law-enforcement they were truly celebrated for their research, and work. You just weren’t too chuffed by the idea of new people, of which there were now seven.

They all looked, strangely, just how you would imagine a team of FBI agents looking, all but one. The flamboyant one. She was dressed in a way you could only describe as eccentric, her blonde hair curled at the ends, sections held in place by red-rose clips to match her dress. She seemed friendly, despite the sombre circumstances, a half-smile chopping her features.

The rest seemed to blend in. There was another woman, her slender frame, and long blonde hair somewhat reminiscent of the mean girls at school. The rest were all male. We had, the obvious team leader, he stood tall, clad in a black suit. How would you chase bad guys in that? Next, was the cliché buff guy, who spent too much time at the gym. Finally, the skinny, sweater vest guy, and an Italian?

“You must be Dr. L/N.” The team leader spoke up, making his way towards you, his hand outstretched. You found yourself staring at it for a brief moment, as if the action were strange to you, before you realised, he wanted a handshake. You offered a slight smile as you reluctantly gripped his hand, shaking it.

“Supervisory Special Agent, Aaron Hotchner, but you may call me Hotch.” You nod, keeping your gaze on the floor. You were in a room with a bunch of criminal profilers. That was scary. Could they profile you? Would they? Were they profiling you right now? You weren’t exactly keen on the gazes boring into you.

“This is my team, we have Supervisory Special Agent, David Rossi.” You wave awkwardly as he gestures to the Italian guy, unsure of what social conduct was required to meet criminal profilers. David Rossi smiles at you, offering a brief salute that would have made you chuckle in better circumstances. Perhaps you would be better, in better circumstances.

“Supervisory Special Agent, Jennifer Jareau.” The pretty blonde leans forward hand outstretched, as you smile awkwardly. Her grip was firm, irking you less that Hotchner’s handshake. However, you already felt inferior to these individuals, no number of correct-introductions or doctorates could save you. They hunt criminals for a living. Yes, it may not need a doctorate, in fact, you weren’t sure any of them were doctors. But they certainly weren’t cowardly in a mere social situation, like you.

“Supervisory Special Agent, Derek Morgan.” You react quickly this time, lifting your hand in a quick, but still awkward wave to the incredibly muscular guy in front of you. Derek Morgan seemed like such a fitting name for him, in fact, you weren’t sure there was a name more suited for him in all the 5,163 first names, and 151,671 last names commonly used in the United States of America.

“We also have our Technical Analyst, Special Agent, Penelope Garcia.” The eccentric techie waves her hand cheerily, a wide smile breaking out on her face. She seemed sweet, and you were glad to see a female computer nerd. There certainly wasn’t enough of them in this universe. Her grin was infectious as you attempted to hide yours with the floor.

“Last but not least, we have our resident genius.” Your head snapped up at that. ‘Resident genius’? What rendered this guy a genius? You supposed, he looked smart. But you couldn’t quite decipher if it was just the sweater vest. In fact, he looked more jet-lagged that smart.

“Supervisory Special Agent, Doctor Spencer Reid.” Ah, a doctor.

You smile slightly, glad the introductions were over.

-

“Yeah, I have worked a fair few high-profile cases in my time, but this probably tops them.” You smile at the group, your gaze connecting with JJ and Garcia who both offer you sweet smiles. You can feel Spencer’s gaze on you as he clutches a glass of water in his right hand.

“It certainly tops ours.” JJ smiles, leaning towards you, a chuckle escaping her lips. “I never thought we would see an international case, never mind this.” You smile, bringing your drink to your lips, taking a refreshing sip.

“I- How do you do what you do? I mean- the chopping and the blood and guts and-“ Garcia frantically waves her hands in front of her, very nearly knocking over her martini as she rants.

“Garcia- she’s used to it, just like we are.” You nod in agreement with Hotch, your ears tuning in the set change happening with the band next door.

You scan the remainder of the room you were in, the bar was fairly quiet, most of the younger crows would have moved onto nightclubs by now. You could see various groups of people seated in their booths, most of them appearing as if they were celebrating, which felt fitting for your occasion.

“You know-“ You turn back to Rossi who was pointing a finger at you, a sly smile on his face.

“-I thought this week was going to be a drag when you asked us to surrender out firearms.” You watch as small chuckles erupt from the rest of the team, allowing yourself to join in with them.

-

You watch the team, stare at you expectantly, kicking yourself into gear.

“I have a room for you, a conference room.” You direct your statement towards Hotch who nods his head sharply, gesturing for you to lead the way. And you did. You guided them towards your conference room.

It was a large room with glass windows. On the back wall was a large TV screen designed for presenting, in the corner a safe. It was quite simple by design; a room, a TV, a table, and chairs that surrounded it. You weren’t sure it was FBI approved with its scratchy carpet and simplicity, but it would have to do.

“I hope it’s okay.” You try to say it with confidence, as you stand by the door the agents filing into the room, but your voice comes out as more of a squeak. Typically, this causes you to make unnecessary eye-contact with the Doctor.

“Uhm- You are going to have to surrender your firearms.” This certainly got a reaction from all but Aaron Hotchner, who likely, was aware of this.

“Why?” The doctor spoke up, as the rest of the team curiously gazed at me.

“Fire-arm residue. You are gonna be around bodies that haven’t had post-mortems, and you could contaminate them. So, I take the arms.” You watched as half of the team swallowed harshly, obviously not-to-sure about not having a weapon, which was such an odd reality of Americans.

“You’ll get them back, don’t worry. It’s just anywhere beyond this room would count as an unnecessary contamination. I think your Unit Chief was informed?” Your gaze turned to Hotchner who nodded.

“Guys, the weapons will be retrieved if we are leaving the building.” The team nod, clearly becoming more willing to surrender as they remove their holsters. You reach for a plastic box, holding it out as you walk around the group, being handed the various heavy weapons.

“I don’t carry.” You nod politely at the technical analyst, moving finally towards the male you now knew as Spencer Reid. He placed a revolver into the box, odd choice.

“Okay this is your safe, the code is 62282. Please remember it.” You quickly place the weapons, and the plastic box into the safe, locking the door with a loud beep. Before you walk to the door, watching everyone settle in.

You stand uncomfortably at the door as you watch them lay their belongings down on the table awaiting some sort of response, or a cue to leave.

-

“Yeah, I don’t have a good track record when I’m not carrying a firearm.” Spencer chuckles, pulling his glass back up to his lips.

“Boy wonder here doesn’t do well in close-combat situations.” You watch as Derek reaches over you, ruffling Spencer’s hair, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red.

“Awh, it’s okay. I don’t think close combat would be much use against someone with a bomb.” You offer Spencer a friendly smile, as his gaze connects with yours. He offers you a shy smile as you nod towards his glass.

“No alcohol? Very responsible.” Spencer shakes his head, still grinning.

“Someone’s got to be sober.” You nod, laughing as JJ and Garcia stand, walking towards you.

The pair grab you by the arms, attempting to pull you over Spencer, you chuckle awkwardly as Spencer stands, allowing them to drag you out of the booth. They wrap their arms under yours as you stumble on your heels, feeling the alcohol hit you.

“We are dancing.” Garcia gently taps your nose with her pointer finger as JJ supports you on your feet. She laughs as you feel your face pale slightly.

“I-I don’t dance. Plus, this is a bar, not a nightclub.” Your gaze falls on the rest of the team who seem extremely amused at the girl who couldn’t stand properly after only one drink. You sigh slightly.

“I’m a doctor, I know how bad alcohol is, so I don’t drink often, okay?” You watch as the remaining men laugh at your dramatic statement as JJ slowly releases you from her grasp, satisfied that you would be able to stand alone.

An idea pops into your head.

“People don’t dance in bars over here, but I do know my way around London.” You raise a brow, watching as the team look at you inquisitively.

“You lot hunt serial killers. How about Jack the Ripper? Spencer you could be the tour guide!” You laugh as their faces morph into one of understanding, a look of excitement settling on Spencer’s face.

-

“Alright, we have work to do. We need to start brainstorming.” Hotch’s voice rang out throughout the room as he gestured for you to make your way to the front of the room.

“Okay, so there has been no post-mortem done as of yet, but I can show you pictures from the crime scene yesterday, and the close-ups produced by my lab tech.” You stand in front of the team, all eyes trailed on you. You quickly turned the TV on with the remote, leaning over the table and logging into the laptop.

“So, the unidentified male is assumed to be around 27 years old, he was found in a very public London Underground station, lay on his back. As you can see, he was shirtless with an intricate tattoo scrawled over his body.”

The team nods, as you pull up the picture. The screen filing with the photos of a dead man shot point-blank in the head. You notice the team’s tech analyst wriggle uncomfortably in her seat and you chuckle.

“I’m so sorry, feel free to look away if you need.” You smile at the woman as she gives you a small grin, opening her laptop and beginning what you assumed was some sort of research.

“What Underground station was he found in?” You smile as Rossi speaks up, leaning forward to your laptop, laughing.

“I have a map for you, I figured it would be more use than just giving you a name.” You pull up a map of the London underground system against the landscape, turning to see it on the television screen.

“Okay so, the male was found at The Embankment station which-“

“-The Embankment has a huge, empty substation attached to it, that has actually been abandoned since 1957. It’s called ‘Pages Walk’ and is located behind a blast door in the station.” Dr. Reid cuts you off, as you chuckle. You smile politely at the rest of the team, the male introduced to you as SSA. Morgan held his head in his hands, shaking it slightly.

“Right, you are doctor. I was going to say that it was notoriously ‘Tourist London’, and opens out onto the Thames, with all the tourist attractions, but that works too.” You shrug, offering Spencer a slightly awkward thumb up.

-

You widen your eyes at the sound of your name, making eye contact with the lanky Dr. Reid who was now making his way over to you. Work talk, you could do that. Spencer stood beside you as you watched the team settle for a moment more, before following you out of the door.

“How many times do you reckon I will have to remind you lot of the safe code?” You chuckle to yourself, trying to make simple, light-hearted conversation. He was a doctor, maybe you could level with him?

“I have an eidetic memory.” His reply was so simple, so nonchalant. But it caused you to furrow your brow. He was a resident genius, and you were not going to be capable enough to level with him. You open your mouth as if to speak but decide against it. No need to incite more awkward interactions.

Instead, he decided to incite it.

“How long have you been a pathologist for?” His question was simple, the answer was simple. So why were you panicking? You knew that you felt inferior, but that wasn’t something that bothered you often. Spit. It. Out.

“Uhm, around four years.” You reply, trying to keep your voice level, and even. Anything to illude to your oh-so-confident demeanour.

“You seem young.” It was a statement, phrased like a question, one that needed answering. You weren’t young, you were 29. But by normal standards, you were too young to be a pathologist of five years.

“Yeah, I guess? What are you a doctor of?” You quickly deflect the question, but almost immediately regret it.

“I have, uhm, three PHDs.” You try not to hold your mouth agape, resident genius ringing in your ears. You were only slightly glad of his hesitation. Surely announcing you had three PHDs wasn’t easy. That required admitting that you were a superior being. But then again, with an eidetic memory it was no surprise he had 3 PHDs.

“They are in, uhm, chemistry, mathematics, and engineering.” You nod, humming along in affirmation as if this were a normal thing, and frankly you surprise yourself. Once you got over the initial shock it wasn’t so hard to act like you were in the presence of a regular person.

-

The team stand from their seats fairly quickly, accepting the concept of a drunken Jack the Ripper tour. Despite the lack of alcohol in his system Spencer’s got a massive grin on his face, and practically shaking with excitement.

Dragging them out into the chilly London air you stop suddenly, gasping.

“We should get alcohol, to-go!” You turn to face the team, your eyes wide with a sense of wonder at your marvellous idea. Only being egged on by Garcia, Morgan, and JJ who cheer loudly at your proposition.

“Isn’t that just a liquor store?” Spencer’s brow is furrowed in confusion, trying to work out what alcohol to-go was, and he wasn’t too far off.

“…and a bad idea?” Rossi follows, pointing an accusing finger towards you.

“…and illegal?” Hotch follows Rossi with a chuckle.

“No, it’s actually perfectly legal here, and liquor stores are expensive, we’re going to Tesco.” You clap your hands jumping on the spot excitedly, before making a beeline for the Tube station.

-

Whitechapel was shockingly quiet, for this time of night with only the distant humming of the main roads to remind you that you were in fact in one of Europe’s busiest cities.

You and the rest of the BAU team ambled through the narrow alleyways that once housed one of the world’s most prolific serial killers, Spencer occasionally pointing to various street-corners and naming one of his five canonical victims.

“You know, In the Victorian era the basal population of Whitechapel was swelled by immigrants from all over, particularly Irish and Jewish. This poverty drove many women to prostitution; The victim-pool of Jack the Ripper.” You turn to Spencer who’s walking closely by your side, something he had obscurely insisted on.

“Yeah, In October of 1888 the Metropolitan Police estimated that there were 1,200 prostitutes ‘of very low class living in Whitechapel and about 62 brothels.” You pipe up, a smug grin settling on your face as you gaze at Spencer, eyes narrowed.

“I know my facts doctor.” You slur. Spencer laughs, reaching out for the bottle of sweet beer in your hand, removing it from your grasp, as you gasp, attempting to grab back the bottle that he holds high over his head.

“Hey!” You pout as Spencer tosses the bottle into a nearby bin. You are quickly distracted by the way your trip over your own feet.

“Woah, woah! Confiscating the alcohol was a good move on my part.” Spencer mumbles as he grasps your shoulders, steadying you on the pavement. You both stop, turning to see Derek stood with Garcia, staring right at you and Spencer, a glimmer in his eye.

You look past him to see Hotch, Rossi, and JJ slowly walking towards you both. Hotch and Rossi had drunk nothing since the bar and were both practically sober. They had allowed you, JJ, and Garcia to drink despite their apprehensions, and likely remained sober to ensure you were safe. Derek had managed to leave the bar with his pint of beer, still clutching the empty glass.

You yawn slightly, swaying on your heels as you turn to the team. Furrowing your brows as you lean back against Spencer who stumbles slightly in surprise.

Your mind is foggy, but not foggy enough to ignore the impending hangover that would undoubtedly kick your ass the next morning.

“I should go home now.” You finally feel the fogginess settling in your brain, like a sickly-sweet haze. But alas, you were running out of energy. You missed Hotch’s stern look.

“You’re staying at the hotel with one of us, we can’t let you go home alone.” You roll your eyes slightly at the solemn male.

“No thanks dad! I’m excellent at navigating my way home.” You chuckle, at your own joke, JJ and Garcia joining in a drunken chorus.

“Y/N, you’re drunk, and it’s dangerous out here.” Spencer chimes, in. His arms are still holding tightly on your shoulders as you drunkenly giggle. Your forehead rests on his shoulder as you teeter on your heels.

“Fine.” You take the arm that Spencer offers you, watching as Hotch and Morgan do the same for JJ and Garcia, Rossi walking closely behind you. You were by far the most drunk, and the most likely to faceplant against concrete.

-

“Who wants her? Because I really don’t mind.” Derek points his finger, raising his eyebrows at Y/N as she sits on the floor of the hotel corridor. Her fingers trace the patterns on the carpet, as she hums along to a non-existent song.

The team let out a collective sigh at Derek’s implication.

The world is fairly fuzzy to Y/N, and she has resorted to paying absolutely no attention to what was going on around her, hyper-focusing on anything that would appeal to her senses. She knew that she would regret drinking in the morning.

“Fine! Personally, I feel as if Spencer should do it.” Derek nudges the lanky genius, who simply rolls his eyes, his cheeks dusting a light shade of pink.

“That’s a point, two of us have two beds in our rooms. That’s Spencer and Derek.” Rossi quips, turning to face the two men who now stood, eyes widened.

“For Y/N’s sake, I think we veer away from Morgan as a candidate.” Hotch says, a slight smile on his face as JJ and Garcia burst into a fit of giggles, leaning against one another.

“You’re up Spence-“ JJ smiles, as Hotch and Derek reach out for both her and Garcia, ushering then towards their respective rooms. Spencer watches as Rossi, offers him a humorous salute before he turns, walking down the corridor.

“Okay, Y/N.” Spencer tries to keep his voice down, so he doesn’t disturb other patrons of the hotel. He helps Y/N to her feet, cautiously gripping onto her as she sways into his chest.

“How are you so smart?” She practically whispers as Spencer guides her towards his room, scanning the key card.

“I’m not sure, perhaps it was good genetics?” Spencer quips, pushing her through the hotel room door, watching as she gasps, making a beeline for the empty bed. He can’t help but chuckle as she dramatically flops onto the bed, splaying her arms out wide across the plush surface.

“You know, twin studies of adults have found a heritability of IQ between 57% and 73%, with the most recent studies showing heritability for IQ as high as 80%.” Her words are slurred, but her facts are correct which makes Spencer smile.

“Did you have smart parents?” She props her body up on her elbows, connecting her gaze with Spencer who digs through his suitcases, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Spencer’s head snaps up at the question as he offers her a solemn smile.

“I guess you could say that. What about you, were your parents smart?” She giggles slightly resting her back on the bed as Spencer walks towards her, fiddling with the straps of her heels in an attempt to undo them.

“My dad is really intelligent academically, and my mother was amazing at the arts and music. I got a combination of both I guess.” Y/N smiles to herself, allowing Spencer to take her uncomfortable shoes off, her mind distracted by the thoughts of her parents.

“You know, I never really considered myself smart.” She practically whispers, sitting back up as Spencer removes her first shoe, she reaches forwards, helping him remove her second.

“Why not? You’re a doctor.” She shrugs laughing lightly at Spencer’s straightforwardness.

“I never found school academically difficult in hindsight. I struggled to understand that it wasn’t the work that was difficult, it was all the social-emotional stuff. At that point, to me, school was just difficult.” Spencer nods, offering her a reassuring smile as he passes Y/N a pile of clothes.

“You can have these, or if you’d rather sleep in the dress, it’s up to you.” Y/N smiles, grabbing the sweatpants and shuffling them on underneath her dress, Spencer had turned away and was now fiddling with an Ice bucket.

“Y/N, I’m going to go get ice, I’ll be back in a minute, okay?” She nods, watching him walk out the door as Y/N unzips the dress fully, pulling Spencer’s clothes over herself as best she could in her sluggish state.

The sweatshirt was massive on her, the sleeves covered her hands, but the sweatpants were a different story. Spencer was practically a whole foot taller than she was and that left the bottom of the trousers to bunch up around her ankles.

She quickly rolled the cuffs of the sweatpants up to a reasonable length, before collapsing back onto the surface of the bed. Inhaling the scent of his clothes she groaned, the alcohol was surely leaving her system, but left in its wake, a pounding headache.

So much so that she didn’t notice the sound of the door opening.

“Ah yes, is the hangover setting in?” Y/N whimpers slightly at the unnecessary noise, rolling over in the bed, onto her stomach. Smashing her head against the pillow.

She feels a meek tap on her shoulder, and turns to see Spencer kneeling beside the bed, his hand outstretched, two pills in his palm.

“Take these, so you don’t wake up in the middle of the night.” Y/N groans, rolling back over in the bed, sitting upright. Spencer’s hand steadies her shoulder as she gratefully takes the pills with a glass of water she had clearly placed on the bedside table.

“Okay, good. Now, get some rest.” Spencer pulls up the sheets allowing her to climb under them. Y/N’s eyes stay closed as she listens to Spencer shuffling around the room and entering the bathroom before the room goes silent. And with the silence she slips into sleep.

-

You walk the short distance from the hotel foyer to the entrance of the Underground station. JJ and Garcia trail behind you whist Spencer, ever eager, walks by your side. Spencer is bright and awake, as his gaze takes in what seems to be every little detail of the street, meanwhile you are simply glad you took painkillers.

You were also down a few team members. Turns out that Derek had managed to get a girl’s number from the bar, leaving him unavailable. Meanwhile, Hotch and Rossi preferred a ‘quiet morning.’ You would meet up with them later.

“Wait, this is Aldgate Station?!” Your gaze trails along the bright red lettering marking the entrance of the station. Spencer, JJ, and Garcia laugh at your dramatic halt. Quickly you do a one-eighty, turning and walking away from the station entrance, realising that you had an interesting place in mind.

“Did you know that over 1,000 bodies lie beneath this station, which is built over a plague pit from 1665.” You can’t help but laugh at Spencer’s fact as you turn to face him, walking backwards and trusting the oncoming pedestrian traffic to dodge you.

“Interesting, but the place I have in mind for you may be the sight of even more horror, beginning with the fact that we are walking.” Your gaze fixates on Jennifer who sighs dramatically, but Garcia simply hums, shrugging her shoulders.

You can tell that JJ is hung over, a pair of dark sunglasses are sat on the bridge of her nose, her hair tied back in a messy ponytail. She seems content however, the pain likely avoided with a healthy dose of paracetamol.

Garcia, on the other hand is awake and bubbly as ever. She also dons her sunglasses, but you wouldn’t know she was hungover. Her flamboyant outfit radiates a happy energy, that seemingly rubs off on you.

The sound of traffic fills your ears as you bustle past various other pedestrians trying to go about their regular lives. Slowly but surely, you guide the team down streets, alleyways, and pedestrian walkways that you begin to recognise.

“You know, sometimes I shock myself with my ability to navigate this city.” You smile to yourself as you see a familiar structure off in the distance.

“There’s nothing of significance here Y/N.” You can’t help but furrow your brow at Spencer’s quip, he was wrong.

“Spencer, how many times in your life have you been wrong?” You watch as Spencer’s cheeks turn pink, him shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, I suggest you add one more to your tally, because if you are patient, you will see that there is in fact something significant in the distance.” This causes Garcia and JJ to laugh. He follows your instructions, and you watch as his eyes widen, before turning back to you, a grin crossing his previously embarrassed features.

-

“Oh my god! It’s a castle in a city. Is that where the Queen lives?” Garcia’s voice interrupts the comfortable silence. Her voice is high pitched, laced with a sense of extreme excitement.

“Originally, it was built by William the Conqueror to be a residence for the royal family, and a fortress. But they soon discovered that it was as good at keeping people in as it was out.” Spencer’s hands flail about wildly and you can’t help but smile at the excitement plastered across his face, your hangover was long forgotten.

“Officially it’s called Her Majesty’s Royal Palace and Fortress, The Tower of London.” Spencer finds himself impressed, as you smile brightly, eyes fixated on the tower that was coming closer into view.

You walk along the perimeter of the grounds, towards the visitor centre watching as your three tourists gaze in wonder across the lawn towards the large medieval building.

“Only 22 executions have ever taken place inside the Tower of London. They include the two famed executions of Henry VIII’s wives, Anne Boleyn, and Katherine Howard.” You guide the team towards the visitor centre, watching as all the crowds ahead of you gather.

You walk towards the turnstiles that provide entry to the castle, spotting a beefeater watching over the people entering into the tower grounds.

You slowly walk towards the male, pulling a slip of paper out of your pocket. As you hand him the paper to read, he simply nods, allowing JJ, Spencer, Garcia, and yourself through, politely thanking you all for your service.

“-For our service?” Garcia pipes up as you walk towards the tower gateway, a look of confusion plastered across her joyful features.

“Yeah, uhm, I spoke to a few people.” You state simply, not really wanting to draw out what may create too much of a scene. Garcia certainly struck you as the dramatic type.

“What kind of people?” JJ pulls a strand of hair behind her ear, peering over her sunglasses at you. You can feel Spencer and Garcia’s eyes boring into you with curiosity.

“Well, The Tower of London is owned by Her Majesty the Queen, so-“ Your gaze falls on Spencer who’s face twists into an almost smug look as his brain begins to put the pieces together.

“You asked-“ He begins.

“No, no- well, I mean… She offered?” You chuckle, trying to hide your flustered sate as a look of shock crossed Garcia’s face.

“The-the Queen?!” You can’t help but laugh at her reaction. Both Spencer and JJ join her, eyes widened with shock.

Before you have a moment to think, Garcia walks straight towards you, engulfing you in a surprising hug. You can’t help but tense in surprise.

“The Queen knows we exist?!” She whispers into your ear, allowing Spencer to pry her off you. You simply nod, humming in response.

-

Slowly, you begin to make your way around the walls of the ancient fortress. From the tower above Traitor’s Gate, you had an excellent view across the Thames, of Bloody Tower, and the impressive White Tower behind you, housing the notorious Crown Jewels.

“I always found this part of the castle to be so weird.” You can’t tell if you are talking to yourself or the rest of the team, but Spencer makes his way towards you, his gaze curiously set on you.

You turn towards him, watching as Garcia and JJ excitedly stand on the other side of the wall, inspecting the expansive gardens where twenty-two whole lives had been taken.

“How so?” Spencer says quietly as you fix your gaze back on him.

“So many doomed people made their final journey by boat beneath our feet. They wouldn’t even had known at that point if they were sentenced to death or not.” You sigh, turning your gaze to the ground staring at your feet.

“You know, they had a way of communicating their fate right in front of them without even knowing.” Spencer nods, urging you to continue.

“The jailor would be abord the boat to transport them through the gate and he would carry an axe. If the axe was facing forwards, they were lucky, and if the axe was facing backwards… well-“ You watch Spencer’s brows pinch together as he nods in understanding.

“…People spent the worst days of their lives here.” Spencer murmured as you simply nodded, allowing your gaze to trail onto JJ and Garcia who were taking photos.

“-And the best.” You smile, nodding towards JJ and Garcia as Spencer hums in agreement, a small smile on his face.

“Are those men actually called beefeaters?” You smile at Garcia’s question, turning to Spencer as he interrupts.

“From what I gather, it’s a sort of slang name for what are officially Yeoman Warders of the tower.” Garcia nods as Spencer offers a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh, we should do one of their tours!” JJ exclaims, pointing at a group crowding around for a tour due to start in just under 5 minutes.

“If you want- but those guys will slam you if they find out your American.” You smile, dragging the three agents towards the crowd, as confused looks crossed their face.

And boy, were you right.

-

The harsh, night air nipped at your skin, goosebumps crawling across your exposed skin, your dress from the previous night turned out to be a rather weather-inappropriate outfit. After The Tower of London, the heavens opened in a torrential downpour that caused our small group to sprint to a local bookstore café, where the missing team members caught up with you for lunch.

You spent around three hours in the quaint café, both you and Spencer eyeing up the large bookshelves lined with various graphic covers as the rest of the team talked. They truly were a nice group, and you were glad you had the opportunity to work with them. But it hurt to think that you may never see them again.

But alas, they tided you over by regaling tales of sadistic killers, and various – and frankly, hilarious – anecdotes from their time together. You could tell they truly were a family, especially since they didn’t fail to mention the fact their job is so demanding that they practically live in the FBI Academy together.

~

“You know, law enforcement was always a job that interested me. I just wish that I could see a case through, you know; studying the bodies is fairly detached.” You chuckled, placing your glass to your lips, and taking a sip.

“You want to chase Unsubs?” Derek turned to you, a smile on his face.

“I guess so, I always enjoyed travelling for specialty help, I was a bit more involved in solving cases then. I just feel so helpless once all evidence is processed, I must wait and hope that the police can work it out themselves.” You smile, reaching your arm out to fiddle with the napkin in front of you.

~

“Y/N?” The sound of a voice pulls you out of your dissociative reverie, pulling you back into the here and now, where the team all gathered in front of you.

“Thank you for everything Y/N.” You smile at Rossi, gasping as Garcia pulls you into another surprise hug. The end of her blonde hair tickles your nose as you let out a small chuckle.

“I will miss you Garcia- I will miss all of you.” You whisper as Garcia pulls back and you acquaint your gaze with the hardened concrete below your feet. Trying to hide the embarrassment you felt for becoming so attached to the people in front of you in such a short time.

“You don’t fancy a trip to America, do you?” Derek chuckles, nudging your side with his elbow, you lift your hands to cover your mouth as you laugh. Your gaze fixating on Derek as he offers you a wide grin.

“I could do with a holiday-“ You smile shaking your head.

“-but I’m not so sure my boss would like it.” You watch as the team chuckle to themselves, their gazes flicking between each other as they slowly realised, they would be leaving very soon.

-

Hotch stands, deep in thought as the team gather together, Y/N included, on the runway. He couldn’t help but notice how well Y/N functioned with the team, and how quickly they were able to solve an extremely complicated case with her expertise.

A notification snaps him out of his daze, gazing down at his phone he sees a reminder popping up, telling him that the jet leaves in 15 minutes and that they should all be ready to board.

“Guys-“ He breaks the giggles and chatter between his teammates, watching Y/N’s expression falter at the implication of his words. He knew she had bonded well with the team in the short space of time, and he knew that the team would miss her also.

“-you should say your goodbyes, we have to be on the jet in five for take-off in fifteen. I’ll be back in a minute.” Hotch disappears onto the jet as Garcia sucks in a breath, her eyes saddening as they land on Y/N. A soft smile rests on her face.

“It’s been a pleasure working with you all. I had heard so much about you guys-“ Y/N chuckles, her cheeks heating up as she turns her gaze to the ground scuffing her feet on the concrete.

“-you certainly -uhm- lived up to those expectations ten-fold. This wouldn’t have been solved without you guys.” Y/N’s gaze scans over the group, lingering on Spencer, who gives her a soft smile, his cheeks reddening.

Rossi was the first to step forward, offering Y/N a silent pat on her shoulder, before walking towards the jet, and disappearing inside.

JJ and Garcia stood forward together, opening out their arms as they engulfed Y/N in a group hug. The whispers of thanks making the other members of the team smile at the sight. But soon they disappeared into the comfort of the jet.

“Stay safe, okay?” Was the simple sentiment Morgan left Y/N with his gaze switching between her and Spencer suggestively, an expression they both missed.

Finally, Spencer steps forward his eyes stuck on the ground as he fails to meet Y/N’s gaze.

The pair both remain silent, gazes alternating between each other and the ground as they both relish in the awkwardness of not knowing what to say.

“I enjoyed having someone smart to relate to.” He practically whispers as Y/N let’s out an embarrassed chuckle.

“Don’t be mean to your teammates, you’re a bright bunch.” The quip makes Spencer laugh shyly, as he raises his gaze to Y/N who stands in front of him.

“You’re a brilliant mind.” Spencer’s voice is practically a whisper as he takes a small step forward, outstretching his hand to Y/N. She gladly takes it and shakes it with a chuckle.

“Hey Reid, I thought you said it was safer to kiss?!” The pair jump at the sound of a voice coming from the small jet. Turning they see Derek stood at the top of the steps, a smug grin on his face.

Hotch walks past him, making his way towards the now extremely embarrassed, frozen pair of doctors. Spencer quickly offers Y/N a small smile before dropping your hand.

Y/N turns her focus to Hotch. He stops in front of her.

“Dr. L/N, we’re running late, but I just wanted to let you know that I will be in touch over the next couple of weeks, as regards the case.” Y/N nods, immediately going into business mode, she straightens up.

“That’s absolutely no problem, I will forward you any of the paperwork on our end for reference.”

“That would be great. Excellent work doctor. As I said, I’ll be in touch.”

And with that, they were gone.

-

Story Masterlist - (1) -

[enkvyu]

ask game — prompt from this request

“you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

there’s an extra thump in gojo’s heartbeat.

his hands are sweaty even though he’s swiped his palms along his jeans a million times. he feels light headed, perhaps due to the sun peeking through the train window, and his thoughts are playing bumper cars inside his skull.

his mouth is dry, his body is begging him to relax his stiff posture, and he’s nervous. too much blood is rushing to his brain and not enough air is entering his lungs. he thinks he might need some water, but he's worried that if he tries drinking it'll just dribble down his chin.

you sleep peacefully through his panic.

the gentle rumble of wheels along rails lulls you into a shallow sleep, not the kind that has you wishing for a deeper slumber, but just enough rest for your heart to slow and your breathing to deepen.

your pillow is soft. it’s sturdy against your cheek and smells really, really nice, like fresh laundry hung out under the summer sun. it’s also warm, which is an obvious bonus. you snuggle into the heat, exhaling softly when you’re comfortable.

a sudden incline of the train track makes the carriage jolt, and your eyes widen at the shift in gravity.

“what’s happening?” your words slur together as you lift your head from your pillow to survey your surroundings.

you find gojo sitting beside you, oddly rigid and close by.

“why is your shoulder next to my head?”

gojo clears his throat, his eyes darting to you then away. “no reason.”

accepting his answer, you yawn and stretch your arms above your head. your hands collide with the compartment above and you’re once again reminded of where you were.

“when’s the train arriving?” you ask.

gojo flips his phone around to check the time. “you were asleep for forty minutes, so we still have an hour to go.”

“an hour? that long?”

“that’s why i said you should have let me warp us there instead.”

“i’d rather die.” you immediately decline. “last time i let you teleport us to the mission site, we ended up in california.”

“california is a great place!”

“our mission was in finland.”

gojo huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. the gesture blocks you off and you know he is sulking.

it's clear your words have wedged its way deep into gojo's heart, leaving a wound that'll only grow and become infected if you don't soothe him with flattery. “maybe next time, okay? sometime after you’ve mastered your technique which, i'm sure won't take long since you've always been so competent.”

he remains quiet, but you can almost see his ears perk towards you.

"the most competent out of the lot of us!"

he shifts closer, though his arms are still crossed at his front.

"throughout heaven and earth, you alone are the competent one?"

he finally turns over to you, loosening his posture. there's still doubt in his eyes but it is as expected; dealing with a sulky gojo was never going to be easy. “if you don’t trust me, you can just say that.” he pouts.

“okay, i don’t trust you.”

he tilts his body further away from you.

you're quick to reach over and hook your hand under his arm, pulling it towards you in hopes that he'll face you once again. you made a mistake, a slight slip of the tongue and now your progress had been reset. "my bad! but seriously, aren't you tired of playing the victim all the time?"

"excuse me?"

"i mean." you bite your lip, sealing away any more harsh remarks that might leave your mouth unintentionally. "you... are crazy cool! you're the best, gojo. i deeply apologise for my words earlier."

his mouth hangs open. "i think the one who's crazy is you. how do you always find something to complain about?"

"you're telling that to me? as if you weren't treating this entire train ride like your own personal therapy session. i did not need to know how much you struggled on the toilet this morning."

"it's a sign of being unhealthy! that's a very big concern!"

"one that you can bring up with shoko, not me." you easily deflect. "i could not care less about your health even if i tried."

"you are so mean."

you shrug. "i think you're just being a pissy boy."

"you kiss your mother with that mouth?" he asks. "and she lets you? even though her child is a mean, spiteful, terrible person?"

he doesn't appreciate how his eyes flicker down to your lips at the mention, suddenly growing conscious of how he had begun to lean in during the heated conversation. you look none the different, face carved into your usual expression of disinterest.

it irks him.

wasn't it unfair how unfazed you seemed whilst he was running a marathon in his head? wasn't it simply annoying how much you looked like you were falling asleep again, even though his thoughts were held captive by the sight of you?

"where did you think my attitude comes from in the first place?" there's a lazy grin on your face that only makes gojo heat up even more—because it made him mad, not because it looked good on you, he tells himself.

"if you kissed me i wouldn't like it." he says, then immediately slaps a hand over his mouth.

you give him the strangest look you can muster. "sorry?"

"i mean, because, i'm saying i wouldn't like it because you are such a mean person. that's all i'm saying, there's nothing else i'm trying to tell you. you're a horrible person. that's what i meant." gojo splutters. "not because i want you to kiss me. that would be such a strange thing to say. which is why i wasn't saying that."

there's a silence that fills the carriage, broken only from the hum of the train. gojo thinks he can hear his brain explode in the absence of sound before you finally burst out into laughter.

"oh my god, gojo! i never thought you would be the type of person that gets flustered over something like talking about kissing." you say around your giggles, smothering them with your palm as you watch gojo grow red. "especially since you brought it up."

gojo hisses, turning away to rest his chin on his hand, elbow on the aisle armrest. he pointedly ignores your attempts to get him to face you. "me neither." he mumbles into his hand.

"it's kind of cute."

"shut up."

"you're getting redder!"

"ignore it."

you only quiet down when a few minutes passes, making snide remarks at his oddly still state before sighing in satisfaction. you check the time on your phone and note that there was still a long way to go before you arrived. placing it on silent, you tap gojo on the shoulder. "wake me up before the train gets to our stop, okay?"

he makes a noise that you take as agreement, considering that he won't bear to look at you, before adjusting yourself and closing your eyes.

the train ride is silent save for your silent snores and the internal monologue of gojo's breakdown. his body grows stiff when he feels a pressure on his shoulder.

looking over, he finds you using him as a pillow again.

the embarrassment of his earlier words and his slight realisation that you made him feel weird, made him feel warm and nervous all over, makes this action deadly. with his heart racing, he sighs and shifts around so that you were more comfortable. the gesture is appreciated, and you sigh softly in your sleep.

the sight of you is pure torture and gojo finds himself unable to chase sleep as easily as you do. he stays awake until the train halts at the station, ignoring your question on why he looked so tired.

i'll write the other requests tmrw !! i'm sorry that this doesn't rlly have much to do with the prompt but i think i'm starting to lose my mind

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Crossed Wires 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: silverfox!Andy Barber, Cole Turner

Summary: you try to balance your work with your private life as your boss and a new client try to blur the lines. (short!reader)

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

The gravel mulches loudly under the tires of the truck. You grip the ridged wheel as the seat belt strains against your shoulder. You make yourself sit back, the seat slid up as far as it will go. Still, the bumper shortens your perspective.

You figured you’d get a call to the old Orson place when you heard it sold. That was months ago though and the new owner finally set down roots there. You haven’t seen them, you’ve only heard the whispers that accompany any happening in Hammer Ford; from a new recipe to the juiciest of scandals. You pay much attention to any of it.

You keep your hands at ten and two as you follow the long gravelly drive to the farmhouse facade. There’s a single car parked outside the garage. It’s a sleek white SUV, luxury by the looks of the hood ornament. It’s not what you expect around here. That paint job will be dusty in now time, if not scratched by errant pebbles.

You pull in and shut off the engine. You undo your seat belt and check your watch. Right on schedule. You open the door and step on the rusted step below the door, letting yourself down with a hop. Your tan work boots kick up dirt as you round to the passengers side and swing the door open to retrieve your heavy work bag.

You sling the thick strap over your shoulder and snap the door as you head towards the house. You rest your hand on the side of the bag as you near the steps, searching for any sign of life. The stairs creak as you climb onto the low porch.

“Can I help you?” The deep voice startles you. 

You blink and turn to face the man sitting on the wooden boards, bolts and screws around him along with metal parts and wooden boards. You hadn’t seen him through the tight slats of the railing.

You keep your usual vague stare as you sniff, “got a call about the breaker.”

He squints at you, a squiggle forming between his brows. He’s older. His grey hair has a single bolt of its former dirty blond just above his forehead. Despite the heat and the dirt sprinkled over the boards, he wears a pair of dark slacks and a button-up rolled to his elbows.

“You’re the electrician,” he states as he sets aside the small screwdriver in his hand. He stands with a grunt, grasping his knee before he straightens.

“Sure am,” you reply flatly.

“I spoke with a man,” he intones, hands going to his hips as he looks down at you.

“That’s would be my boss. Cole.”

“That’s his name,” he steps forward, wiping his hand on his shirt, staining the light gray fabric, “Andy.”

He offers his hand and you shake it curtly. All the farmers pride themselves on keeping a firm grip and you never faltered with them. He squeezes before he lets you go. He doesn’t have the typical callouses, you even have a few.

“How’d you get into this work?” he wonders.

“It’s work. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, I don’t– I don’t mean anything,” he stammers.

“Didn’t think you did,” you sniff, “so, what am I looking at?”

“Well, I don’t really know,” he reaches back to rub his neck. The power keeps… flickering.”

“Ah, been a while, probably just need to wait for it to stabilize. City worker came out months ago for the meters,” you explain.

“Right, well, I heard sizzling.”

“Show me where you heard it.”

He nods and gestures you towards the door. Before you can reach it, he pulls the wooden screen door back and waits for you to enter ahead of him. He tells you it’s just down the hall and stop you near the basement door. You peer down the stairs and flick the light switch. There’s a low buzz.

“I don’t think you need to worry about it,” you look up, “but I can have a look.”

“Oh, okay,” he utters, “I also had another question. You might know something about it.”

You look at him. He seems put off by your expressionless stare.

“I wanted to install an automatic opener in the garage…”

“I can do the wiring, sure, long as you buy the parts,” you answer. “I can give you recommendations, odds are, you’ll need a whole new door as well.”

“Sure,” he agrees uneasily.

“Can schedule an appointment when you decide,” you turn your palm out, “I’ll just go grab my ladder and have a look then.”

You go to step past him but he’s not quick enough. You nearly collide and find yourself moving back and forth with him, trying to get by. You stop and stare. He stills himself and turns sideways, waving you by. You pass and let out a slow breath through your nose.

You stalk back down the hall and onto the porch. You hear him following you. You come down the steps as he continues his close pursuit. You don’t exactly know what he’s doing but you won’t ask. Cole says you need to work on customer service and not tell people to get out of your way.

You go around the bed of the truck and open the back. You reach for the ladder but another arm stretches further and faster. He pulls the ladder out before you can and you step back with a grunt.

“Hey, I can get it,” you insist.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind helping.”

“So why am I here?” You ask curtly, immediately knowing you asked a bad question.

“Sorry, I was just… being nice,” he says.

“Right,” you try to soften your tone, “it’s just… it’s my job. I can carry the ladder.”

“I know you can,” he looks down at you and you feel even smaller. You don’t like it when they try to play gentleman, it’s condescending. You might be short but you’re strong enough. 

“Thanks,” you grab the ladder and yank it from his grasp.

He lets go and you continue past him. He huffs and follows a few paces back from the end of the ladder. You angle it up the steps.

“At least let me get the door,” he inches past you, “okay?”

“Thanks,” you repeat in the same even keel.

You enter and take the ladder down the hall. He hovers just down the hallway, watching as he shifts his weight between his feet. He’s the worst kind of customer, the kind that have to supervise. 

You step up the ladder and look past it. “Mind holding it?”

“You sure?” He gives a trite arch of his brow.

You blink and keep your eyes from rolling, “I’d appreciate it, sir.”

He comes forward and braces the ladder staunchly. You climb up and suppress a snarl. City folk think you’re all backwards out here but they can’t wrap their damn head around a woman with a brain.

[justcallmesakira]

Bsd men with a childish s/o part 2!

Sypnosis: Bsd men with a very silly and goofy s/o with ranpo, akutagawa and nikolai! Genre: Lowkey fluff, crack

Warnings: poisoning with peanuts, sliding down a metal Rollercoaster railing, implied doxxing a Mexican kid, blasting, teeth 😇

A/N: Okay so my last post got loads of likes so I decided to do a part 2 because why not? I don't think I will do part 3 but you can request if you want..?

Ranpo-

Wow... look two autistic lovers challenging each other who can eat the most sweets without getting cavity!

You one time tried stealing his candies,, so he kept you in those childrens tents filled with colorful balls😧😧😧 yk those silly cages made for children so they think they are meant to have fun?

Nahh fukuzawa gunna call the CPS

If you think he will be all sweet with you.... No shit bro your in for a ride, AND I MEAN A LITTERAL RIDE-

"uhh ranpo I don't think we should use a Rollercoaster as a slide" "shut up you kid! Sliding not a crime xD"

Two grown up adults found sliding down a roller coasters rail

BRO let the news reporter have a break 😭

He's kinda like dazai but a bit more childish with you (awh how cute...)

One time he tried to play with a kid on the sandbox but he refused so you came and gaslighted the kid to eat a peanut butter lollipop 🍭🥜

Turns out the kid had allergy to nuts

Kid: AUGHHH AGUH AGHGh AEEEEUGHH you: :3 Ranpo: god must be happy

FAMILY GUY Reference??? YES

And so two totally romantic lovers go on a journey to poison little kids!

Hohoho if aomeone bullies you he's gonna go "Hello (first name) (middle name) (last name) who lives in (full address) and was born in (birth hospital)" on that Mexican kid who tried to bully you

That's hot😋😳🤭

One time you lost your left glove in the winter so he took your left hand and slid it in his gloved hand

YES THAT'S POSSIBLE I DID THAT TO MY hopeless romantic ass Self!!!!

Akutagawa-

....

How did you get him to date you bro 😀

He does not even understand what wrong with you so he always has be the one saving your ass during a mission just in cas3

OH it's not for your protection.... It's him protecting the building so you don't blow it up

😁😁😁

You know how he goes ◉ - ◉ sometimes? That's exactly how he questions your silly antics

"I can't wait for the tooth fairy to come for the teeth under my bed!" "◉-◉" higuchi: you are too old for fallen tooth what are you sa-- Y/N WHO'S TOOTH IS THA--"

He only glared at higuchi telling her to not question it with you behind him ":3"

Sometimes you play with his rashoumon by putting make up on it

Idkdontaskmehowyoudidthat-

"sir we bombed up the plac-" "good" 💁‍♀️💄👹---🧑

GUYS THE DEMON IS THE RASOUMON AND DON'T QUESTION IT

If anything akutagawa is questioning why he has to keep you in a children's daycare

BRO give him a break-

When dazai met you and you two had matching energy he was just staring at you two with respect... He felt a bit felt out though

HUG HIM RIGHT NOW👿

Other then that he tries to understand you and protect you from danger because of your goof :)

Nikolai-

This is gonna get messy.... 😨

Honestly you have matching energy butttttt- BONUS POINTS IF YOU ARE A TERRORIST WHO Goes >:3 WHILE BLOWING UP A BUILDING-

Fyodor is questioning his life choices because you two acCidENtaLly burned his kitchen

"Damn.... It's 7 am..." Fyodor said calmly as he saw his only house burn down

Your gonna become his pretty assistant in his circus or sth🤡

Anyways you know those bumper cars? You two ride those and bump each other with it causing a friction and blasting the whole place

He will let you lay on his thi- I mean lap if you are too tired but don't be surprised to wake up with pigtails and heavy makeup :>

NIKO I love you but if you do that... Things are gonna get way messier😊😊😊

If

If you want anything he Wil just open up his portal and bring

"oioioioi koala (the name you gave him because of kolya) I want to drink shrimp and lollipop soda" *opens up portal and takes out a golden can* "here you go! :3" "Oh tank yew :3"

Totally sane and normal!!

Yes you call him koala instead of kolya but he always goes 😳🤭

I would too bbg wann-

Overall I think it's sort of good to be cheerful I mean at least you get too get away with his pranks (slightly)

Just make sure he doesnt sigma 3 breakdown hair you

A/N: I know this wasn't good but I am not in the mood to write yk--so sorry it's not funny or anything anyways I am not sure whether I WI will write part 3 or not

Tag: @silverbladexyz

Reblogs and likes are very much appreciated!

[softomegaposting]

in honor of my backache from sleeping in my nest on the floor last night (a hardwood floor covered with a sheepskin and a throw blanket) i wanna talk about nest mattresses! in real life and worldbuilding. disclaimer that my knowledge comes from mostly online so it’s probably not completely accurate.

so! cool floor beds i found that would make good nest bases.

the type of bed i could find the most on online is the Japanese futon. it’s what the western futon/sofa bed was originally modeled after but it’s very different. it’s basically a very thin mattress (shikifuton) over tatami mats (rush grass outer layer with a foam or rice straw core). both parts are much more moveable than a western style mattress. another important consideration i think is relevant is that futon covers go all the way around the mattress and can be washed (unlike western sheets which leave the bottom of the mattress uncovered which if it’s on the floor can get gross). futons are also meant to be aired out in the sun, which helps the whole dust thing.

another cool bed type i found are montessori-style house beds. they’re typically used for young children (toddlers and preschoolers) but do come in larger sizes (the biggest i’ve seen is a full). the bed frame sits directly on the floor with a thin mattress and a wooden house-shape on top that can support a canopy/curtains (which would be super cool for a nest lets be real). some also come with bed rails and bumpers so little kids don’t fall out, which i think would also be good for a nest because it’s more cozy.

of course i must mention the “human dog beds” which gained popularity in 2022 from going on shark tank but i remember first hearing about them around 2015-ish (and of course going that would make a great nest!). it is what it sounds like.

another, probably the cheapest option here, is camping mattresses. you know what these are. super thin air mattresses with foam tops. some come in double width (better for a nest imo) but most of them are made of that terrible slippery fabric (good for camping, bad for everything else). this might not be a problem for most people but i’m autistic and i gag touching them. you could cover it with a rug or blanket but those might slip off of it due to the gross slipperiness of the fabric. idk.

the last thing i can think of are traditional mattresses that are just. thin. you could use a mattress topper but a real mattress would definitely feel better even if they’re the same height because real mattresses have a comfort layer and a base layer and a topper only has the comfort layer (=more back pain for you). consider: dorm mattresses (at least my dorm had them, and it made an amazing nest), rv mattresses, and trundle mattresses. they’re all basically the same thing just different keywords (and slightly different sizes for the rvs). my sister has slept on a 4 inch mattress for six years or so and she only occasionally complains of back pain but for occasional use it would be fine (she also has scoliosis so. could be that).

now for some quick worldbuilding notes:

i definitely think that in an omegaverse society nest mattresses would be common. i think they would mimic traditional mattresses but shorter, like rv mattresses, but have an all-around washable cover/sheets to protect from floor grossness, sort of like dorm mattresses but able to be washed more easily. i also think they would come in more square or round shapes instead of the typical rectangle twin shape. i can see them having folding capabilities like some rv mattresses do, so that people could sun them like futons to get rid of dust mites.

i can also see nest frames being a thing, sort of like the montessori bedframes, with pillow bumpers to make a more enclosed vibe. i can also see a huge market for both frame-mounted or ceiling-mounted canopies, because who doesn’t want that.

maybe houses would be built with specific nest areas in mind, maybe with softer floors like tatami vibes or carpet. i’ve heard talk about conversation pits which are absolutely so cool but i can also see the advantage in an elevated nest space. my favorite nest of all time was in a ceiling cabinet because i could see the whole room but was harder to see myself, which made me feel really safe. so maybe houses might be built with raised nest platforms, or even small ceiling lofts overlooking a larger room (i couldn’t find an exact picture of what i’m thinking but this is close:)

[jiubilant]

The decrepit red Mini in the apartment building's drive stops, pollutes the air with a rattling cough, then creeps forward another foot. Lydia, doing pull-ups on her balcony railing, looks over her shoulder.

"Ravi's teaching Shiv to drive," she remarks, the rail creaking under her weight. Twenty-eight. Twenty-nine.

Her fiancée, with a slow and luminous grin, comes out to look. "Not in the clown car."

"In the clown car."

They watch the clown car, overburdened with parking tickets and flaking degree-mill bumper stickers, back up with a wheeze. Then it stalls. Both doors, like rusty wings, scrape open.

"—en't like picking locks at all," comes a wail from the driver's side.

"Yes, it is," the man struggling from the passenger's side rejoins. "The main things to bear in mind are to stay vigilant and, ah, to obey the law when officers are around—Ayo, dear," he calls up to the balcony, his face bright with both a smile and a lit cigarette, "would you mind giving us a jump?"

He'd stopped scolding Lydia for the pull-ups a few months ago. (Thirty-six. Thirty-seven.) Her fiancée, flattening out a smile, leans over the railing. "Again?"

"S'important to my edification," says the girl on the driver's side, straight-faced. "We're going to knock over the dean's mailbox—"

[starwarsanthropology]

Heyyy~

Can I ask for OrdoMaze with 43? :3

The stark, neon lighting of the Coursucant night-cycle is an abrupt shift from the muted golden lights in the bar as Ordo slips out to follow after Maze, a few minutes after he leaves. Just enough lag between exits to keep Kal’buir and the RCs off of them. 

He tracks Maze via his comm’s location tag a few blocks over to a quiet, back alley speeder platform about ten feet above street level. Maze is sitting on the edge of it, leaning on crossed arms against the low bumper rail. 

“Null.” He says, looking over Ordo appraisingly.

“Alpha,” Ordo replies, and then clambers up a drainage pipe to join him.

Maze snorts gently when a screw pings out of the wall, too much weight put on the bracket holding the pipe secure, and Ordo glares at him as he grabs the edge of the balcony to haul himself up and over. The duracrete has a slightly tacky, powdery feel, a decade’s worth of emissions building up into sediment that feels somehow grimier than actual dirt on Ordo’s bare palms. He tries to wipe them off on his kama once he’s seated next to Maze, and then scowls and pulls out a wipe when that doesn’t work.

Maze just watches him, quiet, and then once he stuffs the wipe back into a belt pouch to throw out later, he leans his warm bulk against Ordo’s side. Coruscant doesn’t have much in the way of natural weather patterns, as climate-controlled as it is, but this close to a major skyroad, the vehicles send strong, cutting winds whistling through the buildings. In his armor, Maze feels like a bulwark. Stable, safe. Somewhere nice to hunker down until he has to move on to the next objective.

“So, Besany?” Maze asks, and Ordo checks him lightly with his shoulder. “She’s a good one.”

“Mm. Kal’buir is very eager about us.” Ordo says. “He doesn’t realize that she’s not romantically interested in men.”

Maze laughs, startled. “He’s not very good with people, is he?”

“He’s great with them when it matters.”

“He thinks Besany is flirting with you instead of trying to adopt you like you’re a feral tooka she found dropping presents on her doorstep.” 

Ordo doesn’t have anything else to say, and appearantly neither does Maze, so they spend a long while simply leaning against each other and watching the debris of a city of trillions get buffeted around in the breeze.

“Maze?” Ordo says, eventually. “How good are you for getting read into something confidential? Off the record.”

Maze looks him over, considering. “Is breaking opsec going to compromise anything?”

“No. Only reputations.”

Maze perks up at that. He’s such a gossip, really. All the Alphas are; nosy bastards to their cores, trained to keep track of all their subordinates like mother hens. 

“Read me in, Ord’ika.” He says, and Ordo is almost ashamed when he opens his mouth and the words spill out.

“General Tur-makan got herself pregnant.”

“No.” Maze gasps, scandalized. 

“Mmhm. Kal’buir is furious about it. Maybe would have killed her if it wasn’t for the fact she’s carrying.” 

“Who’s the father?”

Ordo closes his eyes and takes a deep, centering breath. “Darman.”

“Does he know?”

“No.”

“Don’t think so.”

“That’s karked.” Maze says, awed. 

“Yeah. Kal’buir is shipping her off to Quiilura to wait it out.” Ordo shuffles closer to Maze, who rocks just enough to bump their shoulders before leaning back into him.

“You should tell Dar. Not when it could compromise him, but it’s his to know.”

“Kal’buir is handling it.”

“Skirata is a poor judge of when to share intel. There’s a reason he’s only a sergeant.”

Ordo, suddenly furious, both at Maze for throwing that in his face, and himself, for taking foolish initiative to confide in him, snarls and snaps his fist into Maze’s face. “That’s my father.”

Maze groans from his position knocked flat on his back on the speeder platform, and then snaps upright to slam his forehead right into Ordo’s nose.

Ordo makes a furious, inarticulate noise, hand flying to his face, and Maze just looks him in the eye, steady and calm and ready to drop everything for a fight.

“I’m right. I’m smarter than him. You’re smarter than him. We’re bred to be.”

The bridge of Ordo’s nose aches fiercely, and his nose is gushing after so many strikes to the face in short succession. He pinches it to slow the flow and leans forwards, breathing through his mouth and watching Maze out the corner of his eye. Maze’s nose is bleeding, too, but it’s just a single fat drop slowly traveling down his lip. It shimmers in the light as his breath makes it quiver; Maze’s nose wrinkles up at the ticklish sensation and he wipes it with a knuckle. Ordo is caught by the sight of blood smeared on his lover’s hands and face, almost invisible in the lighting except for how it leaves a damp, shiny smear over his skin. He wants to lick it off. He wants there to be more. He wants, he wants. He doesn’t know what he wants, but it sharpens his teeth and sends off a round of howling hunger in his gut.

He tamps down the feeling.

“I’ll tell Dar, if Kal’buir takes too long.” He concedes, slightly nasal through his bloody nose, and Maze smiles at him, irritated expression melting into something warm and fond. Ordo wants to choke him.

“Good boy, Ord’ika,” Maze says, and instead of choking him, it’s Ordo who chokes on his outrage as Maze tilts up his chin and kisses him, ignoring the blood dripping down his face and into their mouths. He bites him in retaliation, hard enough to split his lip and add Maze’s blood to his between them, and Maze’s hand grips his face and squeezes until he opens his mouth and keeps it open, maintaining a careful threat of pressure at the hinge of his jaw as Maze kisses him stupid.

Ordo is gasping and wheezing by the time Maze pulls away, his nose whistling from where it's clogged with blood. He can taste it down to his lungs, the thick, metallic coating over his airways and mouth and throat. He hopes Maze can taste him in the same way, vindictive or victorious, as he catches his breath, reeling back from the intensity of it.

Mazes laughs, breathless, and Ordo snaps a sharp look to him. It just makes Maze laugh harder, and he leans forwards to cup Ordo’s face in his hands and press a kiss against his forehead. 

“You’ve got— a little—” Maze chuckles, and gestures over the lower half of his face. In the dim lighting, he can’t see color very well, but he abruptly registers the slightly darker shades and wet shine over Maze’s mouth, chin, cheeks. He’s covered in blood from their kiss.

“You, too.” Ordo tells him, and dabs lightly at his face to map the limits of the tacky smear over his lips, chin, neck. There’s a spot at his forehead, too,  where Maze had pressed another bloody kiss to his skin.

“Damn. Let’s clean up, and then I’ll take you back to bed?”

“Only if I get to bloody you up again.” Ordo says, and holds his hand out for a wipe.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. It looks good on you.”

[spysbabygirl]

First Date

-This is my first fanfic in years I may make these later-

Scout 

Scout takes you to a chicken place-

He knows the best place for a bucket of fried chicken and the best deals.-

After eating, he sticks some straws in his nose and makes walrus noises to make you laugh.-

And to finish the date off he takes you out to get ice cream.-

Demoman 

Demoman would take you to a beer garden-

Everything is fun with beer being passed around and music blasting-

Till Demo and you get so drunk you, both get into fights and get banned from the beer garden.-

You both leave stumbling and singing your way back to the base.-

Heavy

Heavy takes you to a ballet show of Swanlake.-

He even got the box seats but it was later revealed only because those were the only seats he could fit in.-

Heavy wanted to show you that there's a softer side to him.-

When he watches you can see how invested and his appreciation for the art is. -

As you watch on you can feel a chill and then the warmth of a suit jacket being placed on you by heavy himself.-

Spy

Spy would take you to the fanciest place he can take you even if it means flying you both out of town.-

He would set up everything to be perfect even the red dress he picked out for you.-

After eating a steak dinner paired with red wine you both have a sweet slice of chocolate cake.-

Once the dinner is done and paid for you watch the night stars cuddled up together.

Engi

Engi would take you to the best BBQ in town as live music plays.-

You both had the best-pulled pork sandvich that's soaked in grease and BBQ sauce.-

As live music plays and bellies are full of food you go do some line dancing together.-

After some line dancing you start to have some cold beers.-

And to end the date he plays his guitar and serenades you back at the base.-

Soldier

Soldier takes you to the zoo.-

As you both are walking to see the animals he's quoting Sun Tzu but it didn't sound quite right.-

Once you get to the lions he starts telling one of his war stories.-

He finished one of his war stories and to prove it was all true he jumps over the railing and fights the lions.-

You take him back to the base so the medic can tend to his wounds as you tell him how strong and proud you are of him.-

Sniper

Sniper would pack a picnic.-

He packed what is assumed was Sandvitch's and what was once cold beers.-

You and Sniper sat down and decided against eating and just drank the lukewarm beers.-

It was the perfect spot the woods were glowing as the sun set came down.-

With a beer in hand, you cuddle up to Sniper and take a deep breath and you both relax for the first time.-

Pyro

Pyro takes you to the carnival.-

You both binge on sugary sweets and watch a ton of the small shows they hold.

Pyro wanted to go to the bumper cars they just don't know how aggressive they are being.-

You decide to take them to the horse carousel Pyro takes a horse with pink hair and colorful flowers as you take a f/c themed horse right next to them.-

Pyro wanted to win you a prize but he was sad when all he could win you was a mini plush balloonicorn key chain but once he saw how happy it made you his cheerful self was back.-

Medic

Medic takes you to an 1800s  medical museum.-

You both watch the first amputee surgery video ever recorded.-

He admired the old medical tools that were used saying things like "I could use somesinglike zis in my collecthion. "-

While slightly more educated and traumatized from the date he does buy you an atomically correct heart necklace from the gift shop.-

-Sorry for my bad writing for a German accent.-

[wetthandss]

i have never and will never use rails and minecarts in minecraft because they are just so inefficient and expensive for such little gain. theyre incredibly slow unless you use a rare and expensive material thats difficult to find and much more so get in large amounts to make a small number of powered rails that you have to place pretty close to one another if you want to reach an actually useful speed, and if youre making a rail system that small whats the point you can just walk or run there. there are no other relevant blocks for rails except detectors. no bumpers or launchers or stations or anything, very little utility outside of complicated redstone machines for furnace, hopper and chest minecarts that most players arent concerned with. i think theyre a horribly underdeveloped feature but also one that has SO MUCH potential. here's what i would do to make this feature better and how i actually would use it if it was that way.

i would remove the need for powered rails to go at any useful speed. you could travel in the minecart at the speed you can with a powered rail in the game now just by holding the direction you wanna go. powered rails are still there, and you can use them to go even faster if you want. they're like a speed upgrade rather than a necessity for travel. secondly, you dont have to keep holding down the button to keep moving, the minecart wont lose speed as it goes unless it hits a powered rail, where it will decrease in speed similarly to how it does in the base game, but only down to normal speed and not to a snail pace or complete stop. if you push a minecart (without being in it) it will slow down quickly to a stop, because itd be pretty annoying watching it run away on you if you accidentally push it. but also that already happens when you have to place powered rails down every 10 blocks and if the minecart touches them it just runs away on you. in my ideal update, to push a minecart down a track without losing speed, you can either get in it and get out of it when you reach speed, or you can use a powered rail to get it going. ADDITIONALLY, powered rails just act like normal rails when inactive instead of stopping entirely. if you want a rail that automatically stops the minecart, keep reading cause i have a replacement for this usage.

i would allow diagonal rails to exist, including on slopes. this is something i wish for other blocks that connect to each other in minecraft too, like fences, walls, iron bars etc. the zigzagging pattern is very ugly in most use cases and requires you to use double the materials. this would also be useful for setting up proper train stations where a train can be pulled to the side of the track either to let another train pass or to be filled with passengers/items.

i would allow multiple rails to connect to one another, letting you have multiple paths. a redstone activated directional rail could control which path you go on while in a minecart, while the default is just continuing straight.

I would add rail signals with an associate redstone connected rail that can decide when a minecart is allowed to pass or be stopped, or set a precise timer that counts down before making a redstone signal. you can set it to repeat or to only start its timer when receiving a redstone signal. would this remove the need for other forms of redstone timers? yes because i think its such a simple thing that requires incredibly complicated setups to do precisely that are frankly unnecessary to the average player and would allow them to make redstone more useful to them without having to spend nearly as much time and energy fine tuning multiple different complicated timer setups. you can still use the complicated timers if you want. no one is stopping you. anyways, this would let you automate trains a lot easier or automate a round trip rail system with consistent schedules, or to send a minecart back to you after sending it away.

Minecarts will have an updated model with a clear front side and a back side. you can flip directions whenever you want if youre riding in it, its mostly just an aesthetic change, but ive run into situations where if i stop a minecart on an inactive powered rail and activate it again, it will start going back in the direction it came from rather than continuing forwards and that is REALLY ANNOYING. i get that thats useful for sending a minecart back and forth but my bumpers would solve that issue while the clear front/back side fixes the one i mentioned above at the same time, as well as just making it more predictable and visually clear.

I would also aesthetically change the chest minecart cause i think it looks really ugly, i would prefer the chest minecart to show the minecart filled up with the sprites of the items that are inside it. i think that would be way cuter than just having a big wooden chest inside a metal minecart.

finally have actual linkages to tie minecarts together. it can just be a lead idc.

maybe a minecart that can be filled with rails that it automatically places as it goes? idk about this one

another maybe is that detector rails could be configured to only activate one-way.

a third maybe is having "lazy rails" that let the minecart travel at the speeds that they do now, so people who would inevitably complain about these changes ruining their finetuned overly-complex redstone rail machines could have something to use.

And finally i would have a bumper rail that can bounce back a minecart at half its speed, or its full speed with no loss if powered with redstone.

so i would definitely use rails and minecarts WAY more if these features were in place, they would be actually efficient for long and short distance travel, more versatile and less rigid in how you can actually place them, you can use redstone and train linkages to create more complicated railway setups if you want, it would all LOOK better, and it could actually be useful for putting in mineshafts. as it stands now, you have to put powered rails all over the place (a full chest minecart can only move 16 blocks per single powered rail boost! and it will slow down heavily before reaching the next too), fill up your stupid looking chest minecart and push it down where you then have to have a big redstone setup to automatically send the cart back, timed with a redstone timer (either a massive repeater one or a smarter comparator/observer one) so that the cart has time to unload into the hopper below it before being sent off again where it can make its way back to you.

in my update, you can fill the (good looking) chest minecart and use a single powered rail to push it where it will continue to the end (slowly, but at a far more consistent and as a baseline FASTER pace) where it will reach a detector rail connected to a rail signal which will start its timer, stopping the minecart. the cart will unload into the hopper, the timer will finish, sending the minecart into a powered bumper rail on the end where it will flip directions and be sent back, it will pass through the rail signal (because the detector block is on the other side) as if it were a normal rail, and come all the way back to me.

[ashinbloom]

Service Interruption

You're walking down the street, completing the daily chores that are too menial for your owner. You've just left the local grocery, carrying a bag of groceries in one arm and the shiney new toy you've bought for your owner's daughter in the other hand. You're safe. You're always safe. You pay attention. You stop at the crosswalks, you maintain a safe distance from the anti-synth protesters even if they always mistake you for human, you even step wide of the woman leaning against the rail outside a brownstone because it would be terrible to return to your owner with even a hint of smoke on you.

As you pass the woman, you feel a hitch in one of your subprocesses. You run a level 5 diagnostic, but it returns nothing as you keep on walking unimpeded. Perhaps one of your coolant circulators is due for maintenance , as you know they sometimes begin to loose efficiency before they start throwing codes. You're only a dozen blocks from home, and your charging station can provide a much more thorough diagnostic than your onboard systems.

As you turn around to check the traffic before crossing the street, even with the walk signal, you notice the woman again. It's nothing to be concerned about, your programming says. It's a big city. People walk the same way all the time. You step a bit more quickly as she takes a long drag from her cigarette and releases a large cloud of smoke that obscures her face.

You keep walking, only six blocks from home. You feel another hitch in a different subprocess. It's nothing to worry about, you're sure. You just have to get home. You'll enter your charging pod as soon as you get home. Your owner won't mind if you delay putting the groceries in the pantry for a good reason, and this feels like a good reason.

You approach the corner where you make your turn to continue one more block home. As you turn your upper body to balance the load as you make the turn, your legs refuse and keep on walking straight. You try to stop, but they don't respond to that either. Your body turns the other direction, seamlessly setting the groceries and the toy on the top of a refuse bin as you keep walking forward.

You're nearing the O'Riley's house now and they know you shouldn't be this far from home in this direction. If they see you, they might call your owner. You try to call out for help, but your vocalization routines don't respond. You try to wave your arms and signal someone down, but they only continue in the same gentle, walking swing.

Your body continues walking for six more blocks to a part of town you've never been in before. You keep trying to send different commands, trying to gain access to systems you know are restricted to your owner in a bid to regain control or at least stop. Nothing works. Your body just keeps walking.

Suddenly, your body turns sharply, marching steadily into an alley. You round another corner, and you see a cargo van and your body approaches the rear bumper. You stop in front of it, standing perfectly at attention in your default ready stance. And then the doors open.

A hooded person pushes the doors open from the inside and sits down on the edge. Smoke rises from their face before they look up at you and drop the hood. The smoking woman from the brownstones. The one who you were certain wasn't following you. She holds the cigarette in her teeth as she grins at you.

"It's always the rich ones, you know that?" she asks you. Your body doesn't let you respond. "Prissy little rich women always have to keep their synths up on the latest updates, day one. But funny little thing is... the latest update came with a very exploitable flaw." She stands and walks her way over to you slowly. She looks you up and down, fingers trailing on the synth skin of your arm and you can feel every imperfection, every callous, even the cigarette tar on her fingers.

"And you, my new friend, are about to feel very, very, exploited."

[oneatlatime]

The Waterbending Master

Finally! Only took the whole season to find one.

This one apparently also has commentary. I'll leave it off for now.

After countless episodes without, we finally have another hybrid animal. Behold:

A koala Sea-otter? That makes noises like a Raven. Alright.

Sokka saying "I'm not one to complain" is a) pretty damning evidence of his amount of self-awareness b) self-deprecating sarcasm c) a funny line that I'm reading too deeply into

Why is Appa flying so low anyway?

Subtle signs that these guys are way too used to relying on bending: -no railings -no alternate propulsion source (seriously, not even an oar?) -no emergency supplies in case a trip runs long (I don't even see an emergency sandwich, and come on guys, it's not like waterbending controls the weather)

Random pinball bumper style ice stabbies does seem like a good defense though.

Not so subtle exposition dump from Zhao the asshole. Avatar writers are usually better at integrating catch-up dialogue. Looks like Aang will be arriving just in time to defend the Water tribe from the invasion that, ironically, he summoned. Talk about self-inflicted problems. Do you think if Aang had found a waterbending teacher somewhere else, the Fire Nation would have left the water tribe alone for another hundred years? Aang's been learning on the run; they could have picked up a single waterbender and hightailed it back to some cave in the earth kingdom to learn there. Or the water tribe could have sent a waterbender out to find the gaang as soon as rumours of the avatar reached them. See? This was avoidable.

Always love me some sea-bison.

They have bending doors like Omashu. Actually is this a door or a lock? I think the water level is changing.

Is this a hybrid animal? The yak thing, not the two legger.

Last time you got a hero's welcome, Suki's village burnt down. Foreshadowing?

How often does this lady see sea-bisons? She just passed by one and didn't even bat an eye. Is there a secret sea-bison colony that's spent the last 100 years hiding from the fire nation in the north pole?

Music Night! Need a better lyricist.

What's going on here? Did they roast a giant turtle thing and now they're cooling it to serve by dunking it in water? Did they feel the need for a steam effect for the guy's speech so they heated up a giant thingy and dunked it in water? Is it a weird boat thing? It looks like it has a face. I bet it's a ritual object.

Are these pot stacks the water tribe version of Totem Poles?

Oh nuh uh. Nope. 16 is way too young to marry.

This girl is so into him I can feel it through the screen, the dvd player, and the 15+ years since this aired.

Even the head guy's like "yeah, he's an asshole, What can you do?" Let's put this asshole and Zhao the asshole in a room together. They can out-asshole each other. Should be fun.

Remember back in episode three when I said that Zuko needed to learn how to lie? This is why.

Nevermind, we don't need to put Zhao and Paku in a room together to out-asshole each other. Paku wins. As far as I've seen, bending is not gender specific, either in who gets it or how it's taught/used. What kind of idiot would tell someone born with the ability to wield an incredible weapon that, actually, they aren't allowed to? How did this attitude get instilled in the first place? Why didn't the first guy who ever said this get slashed to death by ice stabbies thrown by the ten nearest female benders? Are these northern water tribe people so unbothered by the war that they can afford to sideline 50% of their forces? More than sideline, render incapable of defending themselves or others? Obviously this tribe is far too privileged if they can afford this attitude. And also far too bored. I guess hiding behind that giant ice wall for 100 years left them so understimulated that they turned on themselves.

Bad attitude? Fucking bad attitude!?! There's only one guy in this episode with a bad attitude and it isn't Katara. Zhao looks downright pleasant compared to this Paku guy.

Question for Paku: why would the Northern Water Tribe's rules apply to a Southern Water Tribe member?

My god these two are so cute. Sokka could propose they disembowel whale carcasses for their activity and the princess would say yes.

So the parrot lizard did survive the fall over the waterfall.

They're little tiny children. Katara, who has spent her whole life wanting to learn to bend to fight, has literally been shoved back into the igloo with a bunch of babies to learn lady-bending (no offence to the babies). How how HOW is she so calm right now? If I were in her situation, I think I'd be so angry I'd be ugly crying. And also plotting how to murder that Paku guy.

WHAT.

Paku the asshole is apparently a proponent of the tell don't show philosophy of teaching. The Tell-while-doing-unspeakable-things-to-my-lunch don't show philosophy.

Unexpected backstory. This lady must have been pretty close to Gran Gran if she recognises a carving she presumably wore for maybe a few months about 50 years ago or more. Also this lady is shockingly dumb if she can't see why Gran Gran left this misogynistic hellhole, but I guess it can be hard to see it while you're in it.

Nitpick time: How does the teacher recognise this? Isn't this just the water tribe symbol? Probably the most common symbol in the whole north pole?

Nosferatu Zuko. Nosferzuko. Zukoratu? Iroh's pause here was so long that I checked in case I had muted by accident. And how does your crew being taken by Zhao the asshole make your crew traitors Zuko? Orders are orders.

So we're adding asassinating royals to our list of reasons Zhao is an asshole. I think he's won the title back from Paku.

Fuck this port I guess.

Zuko's dead. Huh. Bye then. Gotta say I don't get why he's so big in the fandom.

This princess sure does send some mixed messages. At least she didn't ghost him.

"Master Poophead." My God. It's perfect. Why didn't I think of that?

Aang passing on what he learns to Katara. Why didn't I think of that either? My plan was to get Katara to launch unprovoked attacks on Paku's students and study how they defend themselves until she can copy / surpass them. Mostly so I could watch Katara beat the crap out of sexists.

Die mad about it you troglodyte. Disrespect? How nice it must be to have enough of your culture left that it can be disrespected. And you're going to deny the avatar training, thus dooming the whole world to death via fire nation, because you're butthurt? Freakin manbaby.

YES! YES! BEAT HIS ASS! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!!!!!

"I know. I don't care." + "I'm not doing it for you." = I'm officially in love with Katara. I took a while to warm up to her, I admit the first few episodes were a little rough, but this seals the deal.

This screenshot sparks joy. Last episode Aang bitchslapped a fire nation guy with air. This episode it's Katara's turn with water. The Firelord Uber-Bitchslapped Zuko with fire a few years ago. All I need is an earth bitchslap and my collection will be complete. Avatar: master of all four bitchslaps. Also this wouldn't have worked to goad Paku into fighting if he was half as mature as he thinks he is. Although he gets points for being harder to goad than Zhao in the Deserter.

In an episode where the A plot is Katara, the B plot is Aang, the C plot is Zuko, and the D plot is Sokka's love life, the writers still manage to fulfill the Beat up Sokka quota. Good job guys.

If only she'd aimed a couple of inches to the left. This show already includes a kid getting his face burned off. Surely a Poophead being separated from his nose is ok?

That's twice now she's lost her necklace. If the carving has lasted 50+ years, surely it's earned a metal chain rather than a hair ribbon?

Gran Gran! Bullet dodged! Excellent call!

That's a lot less beat up than I was expecting. And Iroh has never once given the impression that he isn't quietly ride or die for Zuko, so why would Zuko not expect Iroh to help him? Because Zuko isn't terribly perceptive? Because the writers needed a way to deliver yet more exposition?

I did notice that the healing lady specified that Gran gran was in an arranged marriage but Poophead was talking about love. Again, why was Gran Gran leaving a mystery?

Underrated moment of wisdom from Aang here. He gets why the princess is upset and he's twelve! But I'd bet good money that the idiot on the right has no clue what's going on.

Princess ran so far away that it's night time now. This episode is not subtle anywhere, so I figured that the princess being engaged was the cause of this whole blowing hot and cold thing. Despite being 16 and fictional, Sokka handles mixed signals and rejection with 10000% more maturity and kindness than many unfortunately non-fictional grown men I've met. Kudos to Sokka for being honest and respectful.

Even redeemed, Poophead is still an asshole.

Well that's a problem.

Fire Nation ships would be a lot more intimidating if they didn't look like shoes.

Final Thoughts

This episode was a lot of exposition, a lot of set up, and even some catch up. And it was not done as gracefully as this show usually does it. More than once the dialogue between characters felt like two actors lecturing the audience rather than the characters we know.

This episode also had twice the concentration of assholes. A Zhao episode I can deal with. An episode with a one shot asshole where Zhao doesn't appear? I could also deal with. But TWO grade A assholes in ONE episode? No. Too much.

My whole-hearted congratulations to Gran Gran for seeing Poophead for what he was, and refusing to put up with it. Leaving his ass didn't make him get the message. 50+ years alone didn't make him get the message. The granddaughter that ought to have been his being so disgusted by his conduct that she attempts to cut his face off didn't make him get the message. There was no way that this idiot was going to change. So congrats to Gran Gran for making an excellent call, leaving his ass to freeze, and getting two most excellent grandchildren instead.

I also have to applaud Sokka and Katara for not being bitter about the Northern Water Tribe. I can't help but notice the spectacular architecture, complete with embellishments and unnecessary non-structural doodads. Let's do a quick comparison (ignore the ship):

Left has one waterbender. Right has all the waterbenders. We know that Northerners can travel south thanks to Gran Gran. The North couldn't have sent one sneaky waterbender to at least make the south a ship-proof wall? That chief guy has some audacity calling Katara and Sokka their brother and sister or whatever when they've evidently left the south to rot for a century. And I know the Fire Nation, the War, bla bla, but you guys are so bored behind your walls that you're cannibalising your own capabilities based on gender just for fun.

RANT INCOMING

Since I'm on the topic, can we talk about how STOOOPID it is to separate your combatants from your medics? Here's a secret about combat medics: they're both. They learn the basics of combat, and they learn the basics of emergency medicine (And a LOT of other stuff besides). Basic training includes basic first aid for EVERYONE.

Because here's the thing. People who get hurt beating the shit out of other people are usually hurt in an environment where beating the shit out of people occurs. If they are injured enough that they can't get themselves out of the 'beating the shit out of other people' zone, then unless they can treat themselves on the spot or their fellow soldiers can administer first aid or get them out, they die.

Alternatively, if they can't get themselves out of the 'beating the shit out of other people' zone, then medics have to be sent in. A medic who doesn't know how to fight who gets sent into the zone will - guess what? - get the shit beaten out of them. Now you're two men down at present, and who knows how many more you're going to lose over the next few days because you're down a medic. So unless every single waterbending fighter in the Northern water tribe is going to go into combat with a waterbending healer literally attached to them, there will be mountains of unnecessary losses and avoidable injuries.

Now let's look at this from the other angle. What happens if the enemy breaches your defences (because all your defenders are merrily bleeding out from wounds their bending could heal if only they'd learned how) and then makes their way to your combat hospitals? Which are full of soldiers who are too injured to fight and healers who don't know how to defend themselves? Apart from the whole living surrounded by their element thing, waterbenders' greatest advantage in a fight appears (to me) be to be their miraculous healing powers. Katara completely healed her burnt hands to the point where there wasn't even scar tissue and she had no training at all. A skill that can erase burns (the thing firebenders give you) negates the fire nation's greatest weapon - their fire. Any fire nation general who's not an idiot would therefore target waterbending healers, maybe even over waterbending fighters. So any fire nation commander would absolutely put 'capture field hospitals' as one of their top priorities. This is a kids' cartoon, so let's ignore historical precedent as to what happens to nurses caught in field hospitals behind enemy lines and say that the fire nation would defeat the waterbending healers.

Let's paint a quick picture here: in the background, a field full of waterbending fighters sidelined by treatable injury. In the middle ground, an inexorably advancing wall of firebenders. In the foreground, a field hospital full of defenseless waterbending healers. Just peachy isn't it?

How fucking UNSTOPPABLE would a bender able to shrug off a fireball to the face then turn around and take out a firebending platoon be? Get one hundred - no fifty - benders who can both heal and fight, have them advance in two rows: Front row fights, switches with back row when they're injured, gets healed up, rotates back up to front row as a replacement. Functionally unstoppable barring the need to eat and sleep (so long as they bring their own water). The Northern Water Tribe had decades to develop that. Unlike the south, they had the time, the resources, and apparently so little going on that they took up sexism to pass the time. The wasted opportunity here burns. See kids? Sexism hurts the sexists too.

This northern attitude is just dumb. It's illogical. It's stupid. I'd call it a ham-fisted unsubtle after school special of a plotline if it weren't a fictionalised version of something that's literally baked into to many cultures worldwide, past and present.

RANT CONCLUDED

What else can I say about this episode? Aang and Sokka had like three lines each, but they were very in character. Sokka and the princess are cute together. Zuko and Iroh had a good dynamic when they weren't acting in service to exposition. This whole episode really feels like part one of a two parter.

I think something might have been off with the narrative weighting of this episode. There was an honest to god assassination attempt and I forgot.

While the shot of Paku looking put out that the ice disk landed so close to his face was funny, I would have preferred it if Katara had gotten in one hit beyond her bitchslap. Just one. His ego needed the beating which it got via the necklace thing, but I would have liked to see actual beating too.

If I had seen this episode as a child I absolutely would have lost my mind over Katara getting to beat up a sexist. I'd bet good money that this episode did lots of good for the self-esteem of little girls who saw it.

Katara's plot line is like the plot of the Waterbending Scroll episode, but in a positive light. In that episode her selfishness regarding bending got them in trouble; in this one it helped. Seen in that light, the fact that it's the necklace rather than Katara's skill that gets through to Paku is a bit undermining, but if "magical girl has such impressive skills that the sexist dinosaur throws away decades of sexism for the chance to be her teacher" had been the plot instead, I'd probably be complaining about cliches instead.

All in all, a bit clunky, a lot of set up, and too many assholes and frustrating idiocy for it to go on my rewatch list. Feminist beat downs are good for the soul, but I'm not sure they outweigh Poopheads.

[thesims4blogger]

The Sims 4: Official Laundry List (July 9th, 2024)

Earlier this week, EA released a new Laundry List for the next game update for The Sims 4. If you don’t know the term, that’s a list of bug fixes that will come on a patch.

Laundry lists are usually shared one week before the update comes to both versions of the game (PC/Mac and consoles), but the release date has not been confirmed.

It is also unknown if the patch will bring anything new to the game. Maybe this is when players will get one of the two free updates promised on the latest roadmap. And it may or may not included the long promised new hairstyle made in collaboration with Dark and Lovely.

Read the full blog post, with all the bug fixes, below.

Sul Sul Simmers!

Welcome to this month’s Laundry List, where we share the top community concerns we’re currently investigating and aim to resolve in an upcoming patch.

To stay on track with the goal stated in our previous Laundry List, the team continues to dedicate their time to prioritizing more fixes to include in each update.  This is our second release in this series, with the next scheduled for roughly 2 months from now. This time, we are tackling over 60 issues to make for a better gameplay experience.

As always, the list below is just a top list, and there are more topics that we saw reported by players that are not listed here but may still be in the process of being solved. Some topics can be tricky and require an extended investigation on our end, so even though we are actively reviewing, it’s not a guarantee that we’ll have an immediate fix for it in the upcoming patch.

This list is primarily generated by leveraging the player reports via Answers HQ. Thank you to everyone who continues to help our work of improving the user experience via their reports.

Here’s the list of community concerns we’re investigating for the game update this month:

Console :

(Base Game) Reduced processing lag occuring a few minutes after launching the game that resulted in stuttering Sims.

(For Rent) [PS/XB] You can now enter ‘Rent per day’ amount with a controller.

(For Rent) Change floor up/down can now use the d-pad instead of bumpers on Residential Rental display in world select view.

Gallery

[DX11] Placing a lot from the Gallery will no longer display building lot screen with an incorrect overlay effect.

Base Game:

Sims will no longer receive a “Break-Up“ want when they have a High Romantic Relationship with that sim.

[DX11] Now able to switch windows in Fullscreen mode using Alt+Tab.

When a Sim changes path without stopping (canceling & changing their route) they will no longer teleport to their final destination.

Toddlers will receive Top Notch and Happy reward traits after achieving required skills.

Stair Railings will no longer disappear when one tile is placed next to one tile room.

When leaving CAS, the makeup sliders will stop reverting to their default settings and will remain how they were set.

When two Sims are on a date, other NPCs on the lot will stop trying to join a conversation; causing awkward conversations.

Fixed many cases of Fingernails warping when worn with certain outfits.

Fixed many cases of Fingernails getting warped when applied to female physical frame for male sim and vice versa.

Enchanting and Flirty Interactions are not available if not correctly aligned with gender preferences. Previously, they were incorrectly appearing regardless of preference.

All ‘Mega Double Doors’ swatches now include Transparent Glass.

“Make a Move” interaction is now available between Married Sims created from CAS.

Toenail option for toddler is no longer is missing in the Accessories menu.

Hair texture no longer changes when ‘yfTop_SDX021BinderRacerback’ tank top is applied to a female sim.

Can now place large curved walls on large curved platforms.

Cellar stair trim will no longer extrude down to the basement floor when the basement floor is removed.

Stair drop wall will no longer disappear when in ‘walls cutaway view’ mode.

The Knowledge of a Sim’s Sexual Orientation and their Sim Profile will now remove outdated information when that Sim changes their Sexual Orientation in CAS.

Upon learning a Sim’s woohoo interest and opening their Sim Profile, the Sim Profile will no longer say “No One“ when the sim has a woohoo interest in Men/Women.

When multitasking two books being read, the Sim will no longer skip the first book. Now they will read it, put it away, and then go for the second book.

Teen Sims will no longer feel jealous around a previous teen romantic partner who has aged up.

“Skinny dip with…“ interaction is no longer available on pools when no other sims are nearby.

Sims will now kneel instead of sitting cross-legged when wearing one of several CAS costumes to prevent strange visual stretching.

Bust the Dust

Sims will no longer get multiple Dust System negative buffs at the same time.

Cats & Dogs

Sim clothes will no longer remain on when entering Sim tattoo mode in CAS after using Pet Paint Mode on coat colors or patterns.

Cottage Living

Foxes will no longer appear in Manage Households looking like creepy rag dolls.

Finchwick Fair submissions will now properly return to sim’s inventory or to their household inventory after the fair is over. 

Dine Out

Sims no longer get stuck when a running restaurant venue is replaced with another restaurant from the Gallery.

Special NPCs (like Michael Bell) are no longer available to be hired for restaurants, because they will show up inconsistently or not at all.

NPCs will now leave the restaurant after completing the eating of a grand meal and will no longer wait untill restaurant is closed.

Equipping ‘ymTop_GP03Vest_SolidBlackBlue‘ outfit no longer causes round grooves to appear in the middle of all the fingers.

Sims will drink their drinks and eat their food autonomously when both are ordered at a restaurant. Previously they would only drink.

Discover University

Professors will no longer run away when attempting to take them on a date.

For Rent

The name of the residential rental lot will stop reverting back to its default name.

Rent amount should display consistently based on the unit size and amenities.

Tenant Relationships now appear in the Business filter tab within the Relationship Panel.

Get Famous

Color and texture will no longer change on the pockets and coat lining when pairing any tall boots with ymBody_EP06CoatLong.

Get Together

Interactions will finish and fully complete when using the Get Together closet to Woohoo/Try for Baby interaction.

“Make Out With…“ will also work in this closet.

Growing Together

Haughty Herringbone Tile, Floor, and Wall have appropriate swatches.

High School Years

Teen Sims can now Sneak Out to a College Party to complete their aspiration goal by using the “Ask About College Parties“ phone interaction with other Teens and then “Sneak Out“ through an openable window.

When wavy ombre hair is applied, a gray shadow will no longer appear in the sim’s eyeballs

Benchmark Seating Icon displays pink when viewing the pink swatch.

Horse Ranch

The three descriptions of features for Chestnut Ridge are now included at World Select.

Improving Horse locomotion at 2x or 3x speed to look better and stick better to routing paths.

Foals turn around instead of going backwards now which fixes several visual glitches when interacting with objects and routing.

Horses should no longer occasionally overshoot the end of their paths when running and taking several tiny steps before coming to a stop.

Horse will slow down when routing through gates and no longer hit locomotion lags.

Horse will no longer teleport to their end destination when routing backwards in 2x or 3x speed.

Journey to Batuu

Fingernails no longer clip through the Journey to Batuu full-body outfit gloves.

My Wedding Stories

Cakes at a wedding will contain a reminder tip that only the Sim who plans the event can select the wedding cake.

“Call off the Wedding” is available on both the Sim and the wedding arch while performing the vows interactions– it’s not too late to call it off!

Sims with a low hunger motive will not eat the wedding cake until instructed to do so.

Sims not from Tartossa can travel there to marry at the Town Hall.

Sims will not sit on the floor from “Please Take Your Seats” if there aren’t enough chairs. They will continue to stand now.

Occult Packs

Occult rank status for non-household occult sims can now be seen in the SIm Profile.

Linked Form occults will properly apply CAS across forms using the apply all button.

Urban Homage Kit

Assets ‘ymBottom_SP50Track_SolidBlack’ & ‘ymBottom_SP50Denim_AcidBlue’ are now correctly tagged as masculine.

Riviera Retreat Kit

‘Essence of Bergamot’ Planter no longer has an unexpected transparency.

Seasons

‘Ain’t That A Slate Toilet’ now has the appropriate two-tone swatch color.

Sims can use an indoor pool in freezing conditions. Outside temperature doesn’t affect inside pools, and all interactions on the pool are available and will no longer appear grayed out. Outside pools can be used by user-directed interactions but not Sims will not autonomously interact with them.

Toddler Stuff

Toddler full body outfits now match the swatch without grainy textures.

Werewolves

A few nose rings were not intersecting properly with some noses. That has been fixed.

Sweater ‘ymTop_GP12SweaterDecal’ arm no longer distorts for male sims at low LOD.

Sweater ‘ymTop_GP12SweaterDecal’ arm will no longer distort for male sims.

Our team is dedicated to continuing to tackle concerns that affect your ability to enjoy the game, so please continue to report any issues you experience via Answers HQ. This remains our primary source for information to troubleshoot player experiences, and any and all details are helpful for our team. As with every patch, please remember to remove any external game mods and custom content if you are experiencing issues, as they may conflict with the updates.

Thank you once more for working with us to continue to improve on the experience of our Simmers, and for making this game the best it can be.

We’ll catch you in the next Laundry List – Happy Simming!