#but I feel uncomfortable writing it sometimes

[hcfiles]

Of course, you can't believe everything you hear, and should not. If I write a lot of nonsense about HC on forums, who would believe that? It's simple: people lie, especially when they want to eliminate someone, they'll invent rumours to that aim. If you believe it without checking, you can easily believe in antivax and all the other conspiracy theories too! I see that there are a lot of rumours about him, but there's no proof. And of course it's always in the forums! The incident on the set of Tudor made him uncomfortable playing sex scenes because there were people around him. It must have been a gradual process. In the interviews with Amy Adams, she and the journalist made sexual references, and he was clearly uncomfortable. He realised why he was called in the films: for his looks. That couldn't help him excel. Finally, these accounts that reveal blinds do it mostly for the views.

You said something interesting: that he realized why he was called for the movies and that it was for his looks. Did he really have the illusion it was for his acting skills? Let's admit it: As an actor, he may have potential, but still has A LOT to learn and evolve. And, if surprised about the reason he was chosen, I wonder why. Wasn't he the first to sell himself as a sex symbol and to say he was on the job, for the money was good? What did he expect? As an actor, he's usually stiff (probably for being very shy and insecure). To the industry, he's great for action, hero movies. But, he needs to evolve his skills for drama and even comedy. He couldn't even let loose and relax on Boy George's video. He was clearly uncomfortable and showed that, depending on the role, he might only perform it if there's no choice and he sees himself trapped and obligated. Or he will arrange an excuse to leave or to be fired from production. But, this discussion he brought about sex scenes, as he touched on the subject in an interview for Josh, could be for feeling uncomfortable with them or TO GIVE THE IDEA HE IS UNCOMFORTABLE AND GENERATE THE DISCUSSION. People are being manipulated. And, what is curious about this is to see him bringing the discussion when it has been said his promiscuous PR is actually, a cheap porn actress. Don't get me wrong. I do believe he feels uncomfortable with sex scenes and I agree sometimes they seem unnecessary, despite appealing. But, this discussion called my attention and made me question: Why bring it? It is as if he had faced some trouble in a production because of it. So, was that the reason he left (was fired) from TW? For denying taking his clothes off and performing sex scenes? But, isn't he a jerk with women? A jerk with women wouldn't care and even would like to perform them. So, what's the truth?

[toiletclown]

breathless. (part two.)

spencer agnew x gn!reader

mostly fluff, a little angst.

part two of probably 5/6 (i can't stop writing this fic)

summary: to 'train' for an upcoming guitar hero stream, you head to spencer's for the first time in weeks. the tension is thick, and you have to call your best friend, angela, for some input. your feelings were growing to lengths you weren't sure you could handle -- but what other choice do you have?

word count: 2251 (7000+ remaining)

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

It was not fine. The AC in Spencer’s apartment had broken sometime between him going into the office and him coming back home. He sent you a text to let you know, and even offered to bring all his stuff to yours if that was easier, but you knew how many cords and controllers that entailed and told him it was fine, you’d just wear something you’d be comfortable in.

However, you were not prepared for just how warm his apartment was. You came over in a cropped baby tee and some comfy shorts, but you had worn a very thin cardigan over the shirt, hoping it would be thin enough you could keep it on. But alas, the world was constantly against you, and about fifteen minutes into your visit you knew you had to shed the layer. The windows were open but there was no breeze, and the standing fan and ceiling fan were working overtime. 

So here you were, standing in Spencer’s living room, attempting to hide your Guitar Hero skills while also trying to hide your discomfort. Honestly, you weren’t even sure why you were uncomfortable. It’s Spencer. He’s seen you in worse. At least this outfit is cute, right? When you finally pulled yourself out of your thoughts, you realized you were beating Spencer in 1v1 by a country mile. What the hell was he doing? You knew he was good at this game, and despite you purposefully missing every few notes and hitting the whammy bar much too late, he was still way, way behind.

You paused the game and turned to look at him. You had been standing in front of the couch, since it was a little harder to play the guitar when sitting down. He, however, was sitting on the couch in gym shorts he had no right to be wearing (They were so short that if he moved one inch the wrong way there would be a problem. Why did he pick such slutty little shorts??) and a Zelda triforce logo tank top. His arms were on full display, along with his gorgeous legs, and you had to admit your words got caught in your throat when you saw him. You hadn’t really looked at him with much precision when you arrived because you were more focused on how warm the apartment was, but now, seeing him with his leg balanced on his knee and the guitar lazily draped in his lap, you were borderline salivating.

“You okay, Peach?” He always called you that, since you had a penchant for snacking on peaches and preferred to play as Princess Peach whenever the two of you played Mario Party or Mario Kart. He never let it slip at work, but a part of you wanted him to. Just to see how someone else would react to it. Would they hear it as a platonic, long-term-friendship type of nickname, or would they pick up on a subtle romantic vibe beneath that? Was it crazy to want that romantic connotation? 

“Oh, yeah, I’m okay. Are you, though? I’m not very good at this and I’m still beating your ass. You good over there?” You willed your blush away at his nickname for you, knowing he, realistically, didn’t have any romantic implications behind it. You knew why he called you that, and it made sense. Let’s not think too hard on it, okay? No need to make a romantic mountain out of a friend-shaped mole hill.

Spencer sighed, opening and closing his mouth a few times before finding his words. “Yeah, sorry. The heat is kind of making my brain blank out, I guess.” He stood, pulling the string on his ceiling fan to move it from medium to high speed. You were silently wondering why it wasn’t already on high, but chose not to question him. You also knew he was lying. You’ve been friends with Spencer (on top of having severe unrequited feelings for him) for far too long, and you knew him better than he knew himself. You knew all of his tells, and currently, he was avoiding eye contact and picking at his right thumb, which he always did when he was nervous and/or lying.

You sat down next to him, still leaving some space due to the heat. You were both quite physically affectionate with one another, but lately you had both pulled back in that regard, though neither of you wanted to say anything about it. While he had basically stopped being touchy-feely altogether, you still attempted that contact sometimes. He didn’t react the way he used to.

“Spence, honey, I’ve known you far too long for you to lie to my face. What’s going on?” You voiced your concern with a gentle hand on his thigh, close enough to his knee that it didn’t come across wrong, but also far enough away from his knee that you felt a whoosh in your stomach. It was too late to move it now without him calling you on it, though, so you left it there.

He took a deep breath, seemingly gearing up for a word vomit. But instead he shook his head. “Sorry, I’m just dealing with some… personal stuff, I guess, and I was lost in my head. We can get back to it, I’m sorry, Y/N.” He patted your hand with his, before moving to grab the guitar again and start the game back up. You pulled your hand away, burning, and decided you needed to leave. 

“Oh, it’s… it’s okay. I’ll head out, leave you to your thoughts. You can always text me if you need me, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow?” You stood to start gathering your stuff, and you felt Spencer’s eyes on your back as you bent over to pet one of his cats. The cropped tee was definitely showing off more of you than he had seen before, so it was only natural for him to look. But you wondered what he was thinking, too.

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Sorry again about the AC being broken. Maintenance should be coming by soon,” Spencer supplied, walking with you to the door. “Hopefully I won’t have to sweat to death for much longer.”

You both laughed, and you held your arms out for a hug. Spencer hesitated, before returning the hug and reassuring you that he’ll see you tomorrow. You offered him a goodbye and told him you loved him, like you both did every time you parted. You didn’t miss the fact that he didn’t say it back this time.

//

Angela, please help me. You didn’t know who to talk to about this. Your thoughts had been a bubbling mess for hours at this point, and you couldn’t talk to Spencer, and you weren’t quite ready to talk to Courtney about it. Courtney should be your go-to about this situation, but you weren’t sure how to broach it. Hey, you went from coworkers to friends to lovers. How do I do that? wasn’t exactly the best icebreaker to get into the conversation. Angela had heard you vent many times before, and although you never, ever named Spencer in the conversations, you had no doubt that little Italian gremlin knew you were talking about him. Angela was very intuitive and just because you leave a few details out and refuse to use his name in conversation, that doesn’t mean she can’t pick up on everything else. Especially since Erin was clearly picking up on it. Among others.

What an ominous text to receive at 1am. What’s up babe? 

Holy fuck, was it that late already? You checked the time and sure enough, it was 1:03am. You’d been in your head for far longer than you thought.

Oh fuck I didn’t even realize it was that late lol my bad queen :(( we can hold off till tmr it’s nbd!

NOPE you’re not pulling that shit, ft me rn

You sighed, but it was near impossible to say no to Angela, so you turned your desk lamp on and hit the FaceTime button. You needed to get this out of your system soon anyway, it was starting to eat at you. With other people seeing it clear as day you felt as though you should probably work your feelings out before Spencer realized.

“Hello there my gorgeous best friend, what’s on your mind?” Angela was clearly in bed, face lit only by her phone and the fairy lights she kept strung up around her room. “Is it Spencer?”

Your face went pale at her question, which answered her for you. “Oh, so it is Spencer! Did you ask him out? Did he ask you out? When’s the wedding? Can I sing at the reception? Oh, that might be weird, right? What would I even sing? Oh, I know–”

“Angela.”

“Sorry, go on.”

She let you ramble on for a few minutes, starting from the beginning. When you were hired and instantly bonded with him. When the movie nights turned to movie sleepovers and the game nights turned to game weekends. When he got promoted to cast, then you got promoted, and suddenly your friendship felt different. The first Erin Dougal meme, the second Erin Dougal meme, and finally, whatever the fuck had happened tonight. The way he was distant, but not cold. The way you could feel his eyes on you, and the two times you caught him “lost in his thoughts” as Erin had phrased it. His lack of response when you told him you loved him tonight. That was what hurt the most. He had never left you hanging when you said it, and he said it more often than you did. At lunch, on set, while watching him play Fortnite. You always reassured each other in every aspect of life. And suddenly, it was like that reassurance and friendship was going dormant.

“I just don’t know what I did wrong, I guess? It seems like out of nowhere we lost our friendship and we’re back to being acquaintances, in a way. He’s not as touchy anymore, and he gets weird when I am. He rarely invites me over anymore. I haven’t stayed the night in months. And he didn’t say he loved me before I left tonight. He’s never not said it back. And like, why? What changed? What did I do wrong?” Once your word salad was out and in the open, Angela sat for a minute, thinking on how she wanted to respond.

“Okay, I have a question before we proceed.”

“Ask away.”

“Do you want me to respond as your best friend or as your coworker?”

“Is there a difference?”

“Only slightly.”

“Then as my best friend, please.” You took a breath in, knowing with this selection came some harsh words. If she was responding as your coworker she would be nothing but kind, but with the best friend response you knew she was going to drag you, hard. But at this point, you needed that, didn’t you?

“Y/N, my sunshine, my flower, my angel. He’s pulled back significantly as of late because he thinks that his feelings for you are one-sided.”

“His–”

“Don’t interrupt me, you clown!” 

“Okay!” You laughed along with your friend, knowing that this conversation was going to be hard but it was necessary.

“He sees all these things in a different light because, somewhere in the timeline of your friendship, he got it in his head that you would never reciprocate his feelings. So now, all those things he used to enjoy, almost hurt now. Your touch on his skin is no longer comforting, because he wants more. And he doesn’t think he’s capable of getting that. He’s scared. He doesn’t want to lose you, but he also is having trouble coping with the fact that he doesn’t know if he can ‘just be friends’ with you. Spencer might have held his façade quite well for quite some time, but it’s cracking now and he’s scared. He doesn’t want to lose his best friend, but he also doesn’t want to be strictly friends anymore. He wants to love you openly, and he thinks he can’t do that.”

“Jesus, Angela. How do you even know all this?” You were absorbing her words, letting them flow through you. Spencer thinks his romantic feelings for you are one-sided? Spencer has romantic feelings for you? What the hell is going on, man?

“Because three and a half minutes before you texted me, he also texted me. I was basically reading his text out loud, word-for-word. And before you yell at me for breaking his trust, you are my best friend and I am legally obligated to tell you everything, just like you are legally obligated to tell me everything. Even though you seem to think I can’t parse that the guy you’ve been obsessing and gushing over is Spencer despite your obvious phrasing. You're not as slick as you think, babe.”

You sat in silence for a moment, really trying to let everything sink in. Your feelings weren’t one sided. You had a chance with him. He didn't suddenly dislike you, or hate you, or not enjoy your company. It was just harder now. And that, that you understood, quite thoroughly.

“Ang, how do I unfuck this?”

“I already have a plan for you, Peach.”

You groaned, “Okay, that’s not fair!”

“I know, I know. So here’s what you're going to do…”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

taglist: @lokidokieokie (thanks for being my first ever taglister hehe)

[maoam]

Naruto most likely sees how the world around him works, and it affects his behaviour, especially since he craves for acceptance.

Notice the difference in his reaction when another guy says he likes him in part 1 vs part 2.

(Sorry for a bit poor quality, it was difficult to find an accurate translation, most were viz translations which didn't convey this convo very well). In part 1 he's just annoyed, because he doesn't like Kankurou as a person. He didn't even think about that "I like you" could have certain other implications. But in part 2 he's straight up creeped out by Kakashi saying the same thing, eventhough the meaning and intention is the same in both.

Naruto's reaction to Kurama mentioning his kiss with Sasuke was also way too over the top. Like really comical. Naruto was putting on a show in front of everyone. But whenever he's with Sasuke, he forgets all about this, he is fine with waxing poetry to Sasuke, or Sasuke being close to him...

My guess is since he went through puberty he also learned things about himself and thus started to become more sensitive to such things. Thus internalized homophobia.

Take this scene for example. He seems a bit uncomfortable being there. Sai was probably made to be like this (inappropriate, talking about p*nis all the time, being compared to Sasuke, challenging Naruto about his fixation on Sasuke) so Kishi could introduce more such themes into the manga. He's rather clever about this.

Another guess (it could be both combined) would be that since Jiraiya is so aggressively straight man (to the point he has to introduce himself by saying he's not into men lol) living with him for those years during the timeskip could have affected Naruto's mindset even more. But it's funny how Kishi keeps stressing over and over how Naruto finds Jiraiya's er*tic books boring. Also unlike Jiraiya who peeps on women for p*rverted reasons, Naruto does it as a prank, and in order to practice his oiroke no jutsu. Kishi is trying to show how they are different. I remember on one discussion forum one guy actually brought up he noticed Naruto's changed behaviour after he came back with Jiraiya! Like that he was even more gay and more sensitive to gay things. See, other people notice too.

Then he calls Konohamaru's boy-on-boy jutsu "nasty". Naturally, it's a shonen, Naruto can't have a comically interested reaction like Sakura to something like that, it wouldn't fly. Thus the internalized homophobia. But I also think he didn't want to see Sasuke who he's possessive over being with Sai like that lol. And Naruto really isn't one to talk considering what he came up with later.

Look how proud he looks. Little hypocrite. He's been working on those twink bods more than rasengan lol. Kishi wasn't very subtle with that comment. Also Kishi fought for this moment with his editors for YEARS because he just really needed to write this down. It was just that important to him...

Of course Naruto's repression comes up when it comes to Sasuke as well. Here he admits Sasuke is attractive, but then immediately backpedals on it. His real feelings just slipped.

Later, he was thinking about Sasuke, his mind consumed by Sasuke, but when Sakura and Sai appear his whole body language changes and he immediately claims he was thinking about a date with Sakura. He didn't want to be vulnerable nor let anyone know about his real feelings at the moment. He is hiding behind a heterosexual facade.

But sometimes Naruto doesn't even think of backpedaling on it. He is with his supposed "crush" yet unlike anyone else who would try to get closer or maybe flirt, he is just thinking about Sasuke. This is actually a moment that made many people raise their eyebrows. Including people who didn't like narusasu, or people who didn't ship anything. Specifically because it's written like a clickbait, as in Naruto says "he is happy" and Sakura going "huh?" and because she's his supposed crush who is taking care of him as I said most readers would expect next page have Naruto say something that would emphasize his crush on Sakura. But no, he goes on about Sasuke. No matter how much ss/nh insist we see gay everywhere, many other people picked up on Kishi's writing at many points during the story. But anyway, even with the internalized homophobia, Naruto's love for Sasuke is so strong he can say crazy things about Sasuke to other people and to Sasuke himself that things like "I'm starting to like you" (a completely average thing to say to another person) can't compare to, and still be unbothered by it.

Finally there is the interaction with Minato. Naruto wants to look good in front of his dad so he hesitantly agrees Sakura is his girlfriend, despite how in the previous arc we were shown that Naruto knew Sakura still likes Sasuke, and was angry at her when she tried to confess to him. So he is obviously not serious about Sakura being his girlfriend, but he is saying it to Minato hesitantly. Yet when his dad is leaving he doesn't want to lie anymore.... but he's also hesitant about admitting he hasn't found a girl like his mom wanted.

About the last part, I think it's referring to the armadillo scene? I think it was Kishi's typical humour, like how Naruto saw Haku in makeup and feminine clothing, and assumed Haku was a girl, but then was told Haku is a boy and went "oh okay, I didn't know that kind of thing existed". Here there was instead an armadillo that somehow looked like it was wearing makeup (??? idek or at least looked feminine) and since Naruto needed to write down whether the animals were boys or girls (a ridiculous cover up mission they made up to hide the war was going on from Naruto lol) but then it was flipped over with everyone else and Naruto saw its p*nis and went "even if heaven and earth switched places, a male is still a male". I guess Kishi likes this kind of thing lol... his d*ck jokes...

I know it says "the world might flip over" here but I know it's actually that proverb "even if heaven and earth switched places" that's often used in Japanese.

EDIT: this got flagggged by tumblr so I had to edit sus words.

[chefwhatnot]

A Too-Close Analysis of the Double Exposure Treatments from Duskmourn (1/2)

Happy Prerelease Weekend everyone! During the announcement stream for Duskmourn, Art Director Ovidio Cartagena said that one of the goals of the "Double Exposure" Alt-art treatments was to capture the inner psyches of Legendary Characters. And that immediately tickled my neurons, so I decided to write a bunch about the different Double Exposures and what exactly they suggest about the different characters! This post will feature all the characters from Duskmourn who appear in the Main Story articles, with the rest coming sometime tomorrow probably.

(EDIT: Part 2 is out now! You can find it here)

The Wandering Rescuer-

In profile over the Wanderer is one of Duskmourn’s demons, seeming to show similarities to the demon depicted on the card “Vile Mutilator”. This demon in particular, and presumably other Duskmourn demons, possess the ability to kill survivors’ glimmers. The Wanderer is the only character we see in the story who has a glimmer, potentially because her will and connection to her home plane are strong enough to manifest one before any other members of the party can. So, having that connection to her home, to the place she has sought after for so many years and finally had the chance to return to post-March of the Machines, taken away by a monster… yeah, I can see how the Wanderer might be afraid of that.

Valgavoth, Terror Eater-

Unlike the other double exposure treatments, Valgavoth is the upper layer of this double exposure: he is the nightmare. He blends seamlessly into the door behind him, which is carved with a simulacrum of his core form. He is the House, and the House is Valgavoth. There is no escape from his grasp, etc.

Tyvar, the Pummeler-

Tyvar looks forward, fists raised in a fighting pose. His position suggests fearlessness, but a Cellarspawn still taunts him over his shoulder. “Oh why’d he be afraid of some random Cellarspawn” well he’s not, he’s afraid of what it represents. I posit that this Cellarspawn is the one Tyvar copies when he puts himself and Zimone into House camouflage in the main story. That action, while clever, nearly led to both of them being subsumed into the essence of the House if not for Zimone’s fateshifter. It represents bad change, the possibility that Tyvar isn’t infallible, and the way his transmutation abilities feel uncomfortably similar to that of Phyrexian compleation. But still, Tyvar stands proud and stares forward, ready to courageously curtail whatever may come. Also, only noticed this a bit after originally writing this section, but compare Tyvar’s Double Exposure card to Kona’s. Notice anything? The colors are inverted. Tyvar, the subject of the card, is rendered in magenta, perhaps showing how he is to be feared.

Kaito, Bane of Nightmares-

Kaito is surrounded by gaseous Cellarspawn who shy away from him, flinching back as though in pain. This, combined with his title as "Bane of Nightmares" suggests that there is something about Kaito that the House instinctively cowers from. Which, upon thinking things over, makes sense. He is a planeswalker: he has the ultimate trump card to ignore and escape the horrors of Duskmourn at any time. Plus, he is the only person we’ve seen who was actually able to pose a significant threat to Valgavoth, stabbing him through the chest at the climax of Episode 6. The ghastly cellarspawn are Valgavoth’s creations, and Kaito may be the only one they fear. (Kinda expect Kaito and Valgavoth to have an Ajani/Bolas or Elspeth/Norn relationship maybe.)

Niko, Light of Hope-

Niko is both layers of their double exposure, one calm and confident, the other in pain. Niko’s fears are all internal: fear of not measuring up to their ideals, fear of being forced to go along with whatever plans the powers that be have in store for them. Just as their magic creates reflections, the hand that skillfully balances five of their magic shards is reflected in agony on the "internal" layer. Yet, simultaneously, them being both layers of the double exposure seems to break the rules shown by the other cards. Extremely fitting for a master of their own destiny, wouldn’t you say?

EDIT: @greatdinn pointed out that, in the “internal” art, Niko’s eyes appear to be missing. It could be read as them squinting, but if that is the case it could suggest that Niko’s biggest fear is going blind and losing their skillful accuracy.

Marina Vendrell-

Kinda similar to Victor’s Double Exposure treatment, the wings of a moth is overlaid on top of the subject’s face. However, Victor’s moth is covered in eye patterns, while Marina’s has the shape of a skull on its wings. Victor sees Valgavoth as a source of knowledge or power, Marina knows he brings only death. Notice, too, the way that Victor stares forward, making himself a part of the moth, while Marina glances to the side, attempting to reject its existence. Marina’s only safety now is that of denial: accepting how her actions doomed the plane to an eternity of nightmares would undo her.

Nashi, Searcher in the Dark-

Hey remember that time Nashi was trapped in a cage by a group of wickerfolk who slowly picked off the other Nezumi he cane to Duskmourn with and turned them into wickerfolk? Remember how a similar thing happened when Nashi ran into Tezzeret during that one side story and Tezzeret killed a bunch of Nashi’s friends? Remember how Tezzeret ALSO killed Nashi’s birth parents and everyone else in his village? Remember how everyone who gets close to him meets a horrible fate, to the point that eventually Nashi must find it easier to push other people away, to remain isolated because the only reasonable explanation is that he must be somehow cursed to bring ruin to the people he loves? Yeah.

Winter, Misanthropic Guide-

Winter pinches his forehead, deep in thought. Layered over him is a dagger with a strange handle that morphs into the hand of a corpse. This blade is a reminder of how he betrayed and sacrificed his friend in the house in order to escape Duskmourn. The blade faces the same direction as him, as though primed to stab into someone’s back. The hand is either the hand of his friend, desiccated and decaying, and/or represents the agency he had in the betrayal. Despite his claims that anyone would do the same, it is ultimately a decision he made, a path he followed, and consequences that he is responsible for.

Zimone, All-Questioning-

Over Zimone's face is a book, cover detailed with gnashing teeth and pages flipping ominously in the wind. But, as the story points out, how can there be wind inside the house? Zimone does not know, but she wants to. She wants to know everything, regardless of how outwardly intimidating the container of that source of knowledge may be. The spine of the book makes it look like her eye is closed, which combined with the reflective lens gives her an appearance of sleeping reverie. Her desire for knowledge blinds her to other potential threats, which the House knows and uses to sow the lures of her destruction.

That's it for now! Stay tuned for when I release the rest :)

[fangirltothefullest]

"I read some of the reblogs/tags from the proshipping post and one has got me thinking especially about the fictional minors, and certain restrictions like US not allow depictions of it. I get why this is a heated topic; but the moral responsibility should not be placed on the creators and the other people who enjoy in a fictional setting. I know that there will be really sick people who will use media as an excuse to do to certain heinous actions (like Fight Club) but i do think that is on those members of thr audience and not on the creator and those who are sensible enough not to that. There are so many things i wish i can articulate this better but i do hope that my words are enough. Let me know if you are alright discussing this with them or if you want me to stop."

i just get so tired because like.... i personally don't like that there are people who feel the need to write certain things or draw certain things and sometimes I wonder if the people who do write it need to go to therapy because maybe there's something that they could get help with.

But it sucks because like.... the moment you start policing what people write about it becomes an easy slope of "well EVERYTHING should be puritanical and censored to spare this group and that group" and suddenly it's an excuse to censor everything people consider even mildly "wrong". It's how "degenerates" are made out of homosexual and transgender people, how books are banned for talking about science, how even the most mundane of things we take for granted can so easily be labelled as "taboo" and banned.

There's so much bad that comes from censoring. If we just learned to be like you know what? There are more important things to think about than what random people online are writing about with fictional characters.

There's a reason this topic is heated and it makes sense but the whole point of the post was just to get people to think about the idea that instead of spending all day going "hey this person ships incest block them! Hate them! Send them hateful messages! Tell everyone you know to shun the beast!" it would save you so much energy and time to just.... walk away from this fictional thing you don't have to partake in. literally that's all.

But as usual it always devolves into whether people should get to draw fictional kids fucking or whatever because for some reason it's all or nothing for people.

I think the question for that post shouldn't be whether it's ok but whether we should not be dicks to the people who are like "dude if you wanna write about something I'm uncomfortable with, I'm just gonna hit da bricks"

[crustyfloor]

So many people were genuinely surprised Ivan was placed so high on Till's relationship chart, just below Mizi. Till never showed he hated Ivan though, annoyance on occasion? yeah. The way he acts sometimes appears like he merely tolerates Ivan, but they are each other's closest friends. (maybe even best friends if I want to stretch it a bit)

Ivan is confusing and reserved and does things without prior explanation, and it throws Till off and annoys the fuck out of him too because it makes him uncomfortable not understanding why this boy who constantly picks on him and is always sticking to him, and doing weird things, what's his problem? the confusion unnerves him.

Closeness does eventually make the heart grow fond in a relationship, back to the point that they are each other's closest friends, Ivan is always there for him even if just a shoulder to cry on, he doesn't say everything is okay when it's not. But he's there for Till in other meaningful ways, and they care about each other. But even with that fact without Ivan’s intentions made clear to Till there was ultimately a distance between them, and it's a testament to Till's self-deprecation that this was almost intentional on his part for Ivan's own good, but still, it’s endearing to know that despite this Ivan was still regarded quite highly in Till’s head even as a "nuisance"

Also want to mention how much of a poet Till is, "Mizi, you are the most gorgeous, beautiful woman in the universe. When you smiled at me for the first time, I felt like my heart was reborn." what a way with words, he should've been at the club.

But that writing really is beautiful, as he was an isolated and miserable child for his life before meeting Mizi, being in her presence and feeling her positivity was so impactful for him, he felt like a completely different (and happier) person when he was around her.

[firenati0n]

10 Questions for Writers

thank you @cha-melodius and @orchidscript for the tag! :)

How many works do you have on AO3? 9

What's your total AO3 word count? 80,615

What fandoms do you write for? RWRB

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? always. i love comments and am so so grateful for every comment I get. sometimes i am slow but i respond to all of them eventually. there are so many comments i have screenshotted to go back to on bad days <3 art is meant to be engaged with and i am so honored that anyone wants to engage with mine!!!!!!!!! i do not take it for granted!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you ever had a fic stolen? as far as i know, no! hope it stays that way lol

Have you ever co-written a fic before? nothing published yet but there is tinkering :)

What's your all-time favourite ship? for writing, firstprince bc that's all i have written for.

What are your writing strengths? i am terrible at perceiving my strengths and weaknesses so i rely on my friends to tell me fjalksdjfklasdf but I'd say my dialogue / banter and sometimes my introspective bits? proposal au and angel au are good examples of this i think. i have been told my crack treated seriously is also funny. i like to think i am funny. i love making people laugh. <3

What are your writing weaknesses? i struggle with scene-setting and threading scenes together sometimes. I love writing the fun zippy bits and then i go "wait i have to make these characters do...other things?" whoops! i also am terrible at first drafts. and also writing anything that involves action or movement. so smut is 100% not for me sorry lmao you're never getting a Dick on the page from roop. dicks will never emerge. sorry to the E fic lovers jfalksjdlf i am Afraid of limbs and appendages!!!!

First fandom you wrote for? rwrb is the first I've written fic for but if you really think about it, my winnie the pooh stories on the family desktop at age 8 were fics. i was projecting my sad feelings onto Eeyore before i even understood what projection was lmaoooo call it a fix-it fic where roop eeyore is happy

xoxo roop

open writer tag and some tags below the cut <3

@kiwiana-writes @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @run-for-chamo-miles @inexplicablymine @myheartalivewrites

@suseagull04 @everwitch-magiks @seths-rogens @anincompletelist @rmd-writes

@bitsnpisces @alasse9 @nontoxic-writes @cultofsappho @onward--upward

@zwiazdziarka @whimsymanaged @stars-hollow-sewers @indestructibleheart @anchoredarchangel

@ninzied @welcometololaland @sherryvalli @piratefalls @wordsofhoneydew

@porcelainmortal @caterpills @leaves-of-laurelin @cricketnationrise @tintagel-or-cockleshells

@eastbluesaga @judasofsuburbia @benwvatt @priincebutt @14carrotghoul

@blueeyedgrlwrites @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @getmehighonmagic @eusuntgratie @bigassbowlingballhead

[melon-official]

She wails as though a part of her has died.

oh man. i picked up the sidestory to @just-a-carrot's five-arc horror epic a couple days ago and i'm so glad i did. i'll probably be talking nonstop and/or drawing about it for days

there's a handful of whiteboard doodles with other characters under the cut, but rly i just wanted to pay a homage to the scene that hit me the hardest... enjoy

[entryn17]

not to get hashtag personal but sometimes it just feels nice shouting it out where people will see it. those past few months have been just so weird for me. mostly because it feels like every two weeks i realize something about myself that i have a not-particularly-healthy approach towards and each realization feels like i'm opening a wound and then picking at it for days on end, which. i try to maintain a "well, now that you've addressed it you can start repairing your relationship with it" attitude towards all of it but most days everything feels raw and sensitive to the touch and it's really, really exhausting watching myself under a microscope for so long. and i'm still not sure what to do about it, but i'll give myself just a bit more time to feel uncomfortable

[russilton]

Okay this is probably a sensitive topic but I find your blog to be really fair and balanced despite the drivers' fans from both sides may not think so. Anyway my question is that why do you think George should dislike Max (even Alonso) or refrain from hanging out with them? They're not great people sure but he's their co-worker. Not everyone can spend their careers isolating himself like Lewis has done, his reasons for doing so are justified so I am not blaming him at all, but George doesn't HAVE to do it. He can and should enjoy a relatively peaceful co-existence with his colleagues. He, Max, Lando, Alex have things in common too, they're in stable relationships, they are close in age, it makes sense for them to be casually friendly. He and Max will not be besties but I don't think it hurts to have a cordial relationship with your colleagues especially when you aren't personally affected by whatever they've done. Lewis is great but his burden is uniquely his, George or anyone else can't be expected to share it. I think it's a bit absurd to expect George to dislike his colleagues on Lewis' behalf especially when he will spend longer with them than Lewis. Lewis and George aren't even close enough to demand that sort of loyalty. I am sure Lewis knows and understands this too. I usually agree with a lot of what you say but I believe we shouldn't police who George can or cannot be friends with.

Because, I tend to not be friends with people who are dicks to my friends, particularly if those people are racist.

“Lewis is great but his burden is uniquely his” not to be rude anon, but no the fuck it ain’t. The burden is on everyone else to be anti racist, not on him to stand up to dehumanising treatment. That’s the bare minimum.

That’s all I really need to say- further rant under the cut because I was writing at 5am and it’s basically a given.

It’s a bit of an unfair twist to say Lewis has “isolated himself” when the treatment he’s isolating himself from is heavily laden in micro aggressions and on track behaviour that could have killed him.

Also, not to be that George fan, but if you really need a point not about Lewis - the vitriol aimed at Lewis and subsequently Mercedes ABSOLUTELY effects George. He has been subject to mocking and harassment from Red Bull fans from the SECOND he he was rumoured to have signed for Merc. He has spoken more than once about how horrible it feels to be Boo’d at tracks, because he is in Mercedes.

None of those fans gave half a fuck about him when he was in Williams, but when he became Lewis’ teammate suddenly his every interview was being called PR trained because it didn’t shit on Lewis or was actively praising. Some of you might not have been around for “PR63” but I sure was, and Merc comments would be full of homophobic tweets from Red bull fans, when they weren’t calling him a cry baby. Max may not be directly responsible for his fans- but he’s frankly never stopped them, if anything he ENCOURAGES them.

Max himself has also called George names, made thinly veiled homophobic insults, had people imply max wanted to attack him. Max said that George was being dramatic and attention seeking for being heartbroken after Sakhir, publicly undermined his efforts as GPDA director to increase safety, to the point George himself called him out for it, said that George should get out of his way when George wouldn’t just let him overtake in Baku, and more. On and off the track Max has insulted and belittled George, the people George loves (Alex, Lewis, Mercedes), and made his job both more dangerous and more boring.

Being cold to Max isnt out of the blue either- George was the first person to speak up about AD21 (literally while the race was ongoing, look up the infamous unacceptable tweet) and was one of the first to condemn piquet sr’s (Max’s defacto father in law) comments at the beginning of last year, to the point man other drivers copied his statement. My point is George has been frequently and outspokenly against stuff max does to the limit he is allowed to say. Shit I have friends who aren’t George fans who say they only thing they like about him is he will not fail to throw a dig at Red Bull and Max if he can- yes it’s for him but he is also using his privilege. Lewis doesn’t get to say those things or he’s labelled a bad sport, attacked by the press, sometimes even F1 itself and FURTHER ostracised. But George can say it, and often he does. It’s probably not “loyalty” that makes him do that, but just… basic friendship?

Let’s be real, I have to look the other way often about things both George AND Lewis do, they travel in circles I’ll never touch, and speak to people I don’t care for, and say shit I dislike. We live profoundly different lives and our bubbles are so different they might as well be on different continents. I don’t expect George calling him mv0 or telling everyone he hates him, the same way lewis doesn’t, because they work with him. But working with someone doesn’t grant them an automatic right to friendship. And frankly f1 drivers have this weird relationship with friendship vs teammates vs on track fights as it is

Just because someone is your coworker doesn’t mean they have to be your friend, especially if they’re a bigoted fuckin asshole.

[bonefall]

how do you get yourself to write about such upsetting topics (mainly the fascism/bigotry) without getting upset yourself?

Oh, but I do get upset. I don't write like a detached, passive observer. The trick isn't to not get angry at all, it's to channel it into something constructive.

[phoenixtakaramono]

Hi, I just wanna say I LOVE Truce ❤️❤️, your writing(l'm amazed sometimes because it's just too good) and can't wait for the new chapter. Can I ask when are you gonna update?

This Ask is regarding the status of this PWP on AO3:

Hi! I’m just gonna combine these two anon Asks because they’re asking the same thing, haha. Firstly, thank you. Muah muah. 😘 💞

Secondly, hopefully this year. I dunno exactly when yet but hopefully it’s possible with my work schedule and any irl setbacks. I can’t give an exact date as of right now because I don’t like making false promises. Nothing takes the wind outta my sails than setting a deadline—and failing to meet it; it will give me writer’s block, haha. You can read my reply to an anon Ask here; it’s asking about two different fics of mine but my answer remains the same: I don’t like sacrificing quality for quantity. I prefer taking a longer time than rushing out a subpar update. A chapter will be ready when it’s ready. In the interim, I will post sneak peeks, update the status bar, and only give an ETA the week before it’s ready to be posted. I recommend my readers to turn on their Subscribe notifs so they’ll be notified when it’s ready.

Technically I can split ch3 into two chapters like I did for ch2, but that means the upcoming update is just 90% set-up. Billy and Homelander don’t physically interact yet in the set-up. Neither do they share a dialogue exchange. And I think that’s boring, no? I’d rather y’all read ch3 for its full intended effect, with the set-up and foreshadowing leading to the payoff. It is, after all, the chapter with their 🔞 First Time. A lot of exciting things happen this chapter after the set-up. Homelander flying Billy outerspace “as a date,” their first Team Up, kitchen sex (their first), Billy’s debut as a superhero + vice captain role in The Seven with Billy’s “bloody” birthday present to Homelander. It’s my favorite chapter outta the bunch because of the exhilarating rollercoaster ride it is—and I don’t want to take that away from y’all.

Also in the interim, you can read my butchlander threadfics here on tumblr and definitely on my Twitter thread here. They’re my humble peace offerings whilst I am working on Truce. :)

———

So this part isn’t particularly directed at you, Anon(s), but a pet peeve of mine are readers demanding updates, readers who assume I’ve discontinued/ abandoned a story, and readers who keep pushing for an update even though I’ve already nicely informed them of when to realistically expect an update from me and why it’s taking a long time. There’s one reader on one of my stories whom, for a good part of this year, has sent maybe over 99+ comments on AO3 trying to psychologically pressure/ guilt trip me into updating a certain fic. Like, your words are very kind and I’m happy you adore my fic to bits, and I’m sure they have good intentions, but it doesn’t make me, the writer, comfortable seeing someone say things like “I’m obsessed with this fic; I check for updates everyday; I think and breathe this fic; if you don’t update, I’m going to die; when are you going to update? Please, this story is too good to be abandoned/discontinued, I don’t want that to happen to [insert fic] like all the other abandoned stories in this fandom. All I think about is this fic; I read this story every day. I can’t breathe if I don’t see any update.” Or the alternative: “[insert compliment] but I just know this story is abandoned/discontinued, and that’s such a shame.”

Y’all, this ain’t the motivation or encouragement you think it is. It’s incredibly demotivating and making me want to take even longer outta spite :/, especially if I’d taken time to reply to the reader’s Comment reiterating essentially what I said above in bullet point #2. Asking the writer again and again for an update a hundred times in a row is not going to change their mind. It’s a lil disconcerting.

[nabaath-areng]

I've struggled so much with english these past few days and it's so annoying and embarrassing, and what's even more embarrassing is that I'm embarrassed at all in the first place!!! Everytime I make a rushed error with my unmedicated brain, or swap around with word order, or struggle to pronounce things or outright just fail to recall even basic words entirely I get so ashamed and stressed out.

And I hate being told things such as "you're better than some native speakers" because I know that isn't true! And I wish it could just be fine that I'm not! Sure, I've improved immensely ever since I actually tried to learn it properly 10 years ago, but it was such a bumpy and embarrassing road that it's practically a mercy for my self confidence that I was psychotic for a majority of the time, what with all the things I've forgotten or outright never memorized in the first place as a result lmao.

Everytime I have to edit captions and such after hitting 'Post' I always feel this overwhelming sense of dread that people will just pour in to nag and to correct me even over the smallest things, all without anything good to say. Which sucks, cause so many times where I've had people be condescending or outright degrading, the errors in question didn't even impede on the clarity of what I was saying. Just stupid, unimportant things like using 'has'/'have' wrong, using 'were' two times in a sentence, putting words in the wrong order in a sentence etc.

It's been years now since that was a thing that happened regularly, but that fear is apparently still so deeply imprinted that, even now, I can't read what I'm writing right here and now without this looming fear about how it will serve to make native speakers perceive me as stupid and unintelligent or outright infantilize me. Even though I know that's more than likely irrational of me to feel now. I seriously need to figure out how to overcome this mental roadblock, or at least not let it get to me like this. It's rarer these days, but I still feel it too strongly for my liking whenever my reservations do kick in.

[g0thsoojin]

the pain of when a mutual you've had for years unfollows you </3

[jackdup]

anyway i feel like in the ripe year of 2024, i shouldn't have to say this, but it's tumblr, so . . . yeah, i have to say it:

if my muse catches the FeelingsTM for your muse, that does not equal force-shipping

i just want my character to feel his feelings authentically (and vice versa regarding yours). it goes both ways, my dudes (◕⍸ ◕✿) relationships are complicated like that; our muses don't need to feel the same way about each other and honestly ??? love to see dynamics like that

nothing spurred this btw – just the endless struggles of writing on a public platform instead of privately with my friends where we let our characters just go off without any worries or restrictions, really (respecting each other, ofc)

. . . other than the fact that writing timmy has alerted me to his knack for having two (2) reactions to people being nice to him: suspicion or heart-eyes. sometimes at the same time. but please omg please i promise you i am never trying to shove a ship down your throat. it's literally just me letting my muse feel what he's feeling. yeah? yeh. happy friday ~♡

[twisted-desires]

Hmmm... I wanna write something but I worry about how character/character noncon might be recieved