#but I guess not having much info on a character can be more appealing

[ancientbygone]

simulacra 3 [take me back to eden]

[sundowning]

Sleep's mimic forms of the vessels during the time period of TMBTE, because i can't be normal and start a series from the beginning and not the end.

more info + design breakdowns under the cut:

[obligatory "when talking about the vessels, i'm talking about characters" disclaimer]

background info on the whole idea:

Sleep as a being is shapeless in my mind; more of a concept than a creature. it can manifest as sort of an absence of light in any shape to others, usually to appeal to feeling/emotion. the only "rule" for that is that whatever Sleep tries to appear as cannot look more or less innocent/powerful than Sleep actually is, which usually manifests in two things: the size being different from the thing/person it's imitating, scaled according to power, and/or added features, usually in some way threatening or regal.

one of Sleep's more consistent forms it takes throughout interacting with Vessel is mimicking him, partially to create an illusion of the two being more similar than they actually are and partially because Sleep used to exist as Vessel's shadow when they'd just met. the visual itself has changed through time (you can see what it was like during Sundowning in my Higher artwork), and during TMBTE that visual is pretty much the titular song's character with the most minor tweaks (which is why i didn't draw it separately).

all that made me think about the idea of Sleep mimicking the other vessels just to fuck with Vessel further (to be clear, i am a strong believer that Sleep only interacts with Vessel in any way). so now here are the designs of those mimics during the events of TMBTE, utilizing the album's song characters much like the Vessel mimic. because again, i have to start a series from the end, i guess.

"ii"/ii mimic (song character used: AYROK)

the main idea driving the design of "ii" is the real ii's goal to keep Vessel more or less safe by being by his side in worshipping Sleep, which is the reason he'd decided to become the second vessel in the first place. the choice of AYROK as the character to use in this design is obvious. one of the ideas that stem from that is ii's duty/desire to keep his face hidden for Vessel's sake; only his hands are visible & detailed because that's the only part of him Vessel remembers before either of them became vessels of Sleep and the only part ii has really shown after that. another is ii's timidity in telling Vessel to go against Sleep's will because he fears that no matter how bad it may be, it'll be much worse if Vessel doesn't follow it. that part comes through in the pose - shyly holding his hands together as if they're tied.

"iii"/iii mimic (song character used: Aqua Regia)

the song character inspo being Aqua Regia is mostly because of the calmer nature of the song and the dynamic duo it makes with Vore, less so the themes of the lyrics. also its visual design. iii mimic's design themes are iii's adoration/borderline obsession with Vessel (wearing Vessel's jewelry and having elements of his robe in his shirt + his own face/mask slowly melting off) and his enagement with worship as an act/aesthetic rather than something more serious (the overabundance of jewelry and accessories; the extra arms; the body language; the cuffs around his arms and legs being decorative and not actually restricting). also the rings on his fingers make a checkered pattern.

"iv"/iv mimic (song character used: Vore)

the use of Vore for "iv" is obvious too. song wouldn't be the same without his real life self. the design really just aims to combine iv with the Vore character, but there are two big things here. the simplest one is anger issues, which is why he's So Goddamn Spiky and why his jacket looks like scarred skin rather than painted & customized. the anger mostly shows up in the body language: most of the time "iv" just stares unblinkingly with pure palpable ire in the two glowing dots for eyes, and when he does move it's very stiff and snappy and barely controlled. the other thing is that, simply speaking, the real iv got into this whole mess without knowing the full extent of it and now he's in too deep and kinda losing himself. in the design it's expressed through the human features gradually turning into bug-like, such as the hoodie fading into a segmented millipede-like body and the fucked up mantis hands, and the gold of the original iv's mask melting over the face with the horns being part of it. the spikes protrude from him in a way that makes it difficult to distinguish between jacket decorations and actual parts of his body, but the spines are definitely from his body & allow me to live the dream of iv with a mohawk LMAO

anyway have fun with these go nuts i'll make similar sheets & posts for Sundowning and TPWBYT eventually

[bromantically]

hello! I've been thinking about starting to leave image IDs on posts I reblog that don't have one yet but I'm not really sure what the best way to do it is. I've seen a ton of different formats. I've seen you talk about it so I guess I wanted to ask what is format that you prefer? I also have a question.. about describing art. most if not all described art I've seen has just been a very plain description of what's depicted, but there's no mention about the vibe, the style,.. I feel like if I lost my vision and became dependent on image IDs I'd still want to have info about how the art was laid out, if the lines are messy, if it's cell shaded or painterly, etc

simply "Digital art of a person doing a thing" just seems.. idk. it does absolutely nothing to actually describe what it looks like. to me. I feel like people who depend on these IDs deserve a little more than that? I guess I wanted to ask your opinion on this

i dont think i totally know what u mean specifically what format i prefer tbh? i prefer write mine in this format: [ID: Description goes here. End ID.] i dont write "image ID" because ID means image description, so id be writing "image image description." most people who need descriptions will recognize "ID" so theres not really a huge need to write out "image description" unless u just really want to

a lot of description styles are honestly pretty subjective! how much a person describes, especially if described by someone who struggles with language and visual processing, is largely dependent on their ability to describe what theyre seeing and the energy they have to write it

what a person prefers in a description is pretty subjective as well! ive met people who prefer descriptions as To The Point as possible, and i know some who prefer more descriptive and flowery ones. its not really possible to appeal to everyones needs, so in turn it means that how u describe something is ultimately up to ur discretion.

i dont describe details about my art like style and whatnot because i dont find it immediately relevant to what i trying to portray, if that gives u any insight. i dont find my style very important in regards to what else im trying to show people, like my characters personality and clothes, and i dont like making my descriptions lengthy because it can make them difficult to sit through and sometimes getting wordy with it makes it harder to understand

generally, there is a balance to be kept, but its also up to ur discretion to describe what u feel is important and relevant in a piece. if u think the tone and style is important and relevant, include it!

ultimately though, just about any description is better than none. no ones single description will be perfect for everyone who needs one, but its still making it more accessible than it was before

[ryuichirou]

Replies

More short ones today!

Anonymous asked:

Hii, I discovered your art for the first time on twitter a few months ago and I'd like to know how the battle to keep the account is going. Also I can't find the sfw account?? Like, it just vanished, did something happen?

P.S. : love your art style, it looks delectable

Hi Anon! Thank you for your support ❤️

The battle is still ongoing, well, we're sending appeals pretty regularly, but unfortunately no luck yet. The most difficult part is to get these people to actually reply :( It’s going to be over in a week, though, I’m tired of waiting.

There is no sfw account, but I can understand the confusion with our accounts right now...

@aoinoryush is just my super old personal account that we didn't really want to use to post art (other than that one time when we posted a FloIdi comic), so I created a new one.

@ryuichirou52622 is the new art account for both sfw and nsfw pieces, at least for the time being.

If you can't access either of them for some reason, please let me know!

Anonymous asked:

Did not realize I needed FloVil till this moment

It's how things always are with these two. You don't think of them, and then you see them, and boom... wow I needed that...

(Thank you ❤️)

Anonymous asked:

You once again got me barking at your art. Vil is just so.... UUUUUUUUUUGH he's so beautiful

Hehe thank you so much, Anon!! Barking is a very good reaction, I love it >:3

I am very happy I could draw Vil beautiful enough for this reaction...

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

OOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT THE FLOVIL!

HEHEHEHE YESSSS

Anonymous asked:

Any context on the latest post?

There isn't any, to be honest; we were just in a FloVil mood, likely due to their interactions in the Playful Land event.

I guess Floyd was just feeling extra playful that day~

Anonymous asked:

U like ortho/Idia

Why not Jade/Floyd? Is it because ur highly against tops on tops?

We are not highly against it, Anon, but yes, we don't ship two characters that we consider tops together. It works both ways: their interactions don't feel shippy to us because they're tops; but at the same time they're tops because their interactions don't feel shippy to us. It's difficult to say which one is more true.

So yeah, we don't automatically ship every problematic ship just because it's problematic.

Funny enough, whenever I draw the Leech parents, they always look like just straight-up Floyd and Jade lol So maybe I am a hypocrite.

But then again, it's very difficult for us to picture Mama Leech and Papa Leech having sex... so maybe I am not a hypocrite....

Anonymous asked:

Your art made me look up the heights of Floyd and Vil, and it gave me a thought.

Cause Vil is taller than Floyd with heels, but shorter without. (183cm without, 196cm with, while Floyd is 191cm)

And I love myself a character that acts all tough until they get put in their place.

So Vil being taller than Floyd with his heels on, and he's acting all proper and like "you can't touch me" or something.

And then Floyd gets all smiley and immediately gets Vil off his high heels (bad joke), and now Vil's not so high-strung.

Plus, Floyd finally being able to look down at Vil instead of having to look up is probably something he would enjoy.

Idk. Just a thought :)

Anon! This is such a good point lol I've always wondered about Vil's height... Since he wears high heels pretty much all the time, he really should usually be about the Tweel's height or even taller... Much taller, if we consider Rook's info about his heels lengths as factual!

Floyd getting Vil off his high heels (great joke) is a very hot concept. Of course, heels or no heels, Vil won't lose his pride easily, but... what if this is only the beginning. 👀

In any case, Floyd would enjoy and probably tease him about it~

[youngerfrankenstein]

Nobody asked for it but fuck it. Some thoughts on TF1 now that a bunch of new info and the second trailer is out. As with seemingly everything in this godforsaken (mostly affectionate) franchise, my opinions are kinda mixed.

So first the things putting me off I guess. For one the humour is… eh. Some of it looks kinda cute but on the whole pretty annoying. I know this is just a normal thing in Transformers, after all they are made for kids so dumb humour is to be expected. And I doubt it will get half as obnoxious as something like Bayverse, which straight up felt like an Adam Sandler flick at times. I also wouldn’t be too surprised if this is a movie where a lot of the humour gets dropped by the third act. And speaking of which… eh, not sure about the plot. I’ve made it clear I have complicated but mostly negative opinions about trying to give the Decepticons initially sympathetic motivations and given this is apparently mostly pulling from Aligned ehhhh… not sure. I know it’s been a thing in a fair few of the major instalments in the last 14 years and I think it could be an interesting way to explore how easy fascist thinking can be fallen into but in reality it’s always kind of felt like a cheap way to get more money from fans of the space fascists. And I kind of hope we move past it someday.

(Side note, this is one of the main reasons the IDW comics hold no appeal, it sounds like they did their best to clean up a bunch of the major ones (bar the hate-sinks) and make everyone else look worse for… some reason. Favouritism or money most likely.)

Then again Aligned was also pretty clear about the Cons being Fucking Evil and the director has at least been clear about Mega ending up as utterly ruthless and power hungry so I may be getting ahead of myself but eh. A lot of it also comes from that being a pretty common type of JRPG villain who at this point I cannot stomach. I’ve seen it too much and I’m tired. That said, I DO like it inasmuch as it can mean interpersonal conflict which I will get to in the next bit.

Also curious what the Quintesson’s role in this all will be? So long as they don’t try and make robot politics a thing I’ll probably be fine.

Onto the positives holy SHIT I love the character designs so fucking much. They manage to be both sleek and blocky and they’re clearly made of metal. I am a person who VASTLY prefers it when the bot designs are chunkier so this is a big win for me! Also the animation is just *chef’s kiss* the fight scenes are gonna look so good. And I’m still glad as heck Elita-1 is here. Then there’s the fact that I am a fucking SUCKER for tragic friendships, and I am already digging what I see of Dee and Orion’s dynamic. It looks fun turned to pain, and I like it. I think putting them in the same starting point, longtime buddies in a crappy situation, is easily the best way to do something like this. Makes it wilder when they become robojesus and robohitler. And it means we get a full-on throwdown between Optimus Prime and Megatron with the budget and animation of a modern movie where I can see what’s happening. FUCK. YES. Let them fight!!!

So… I dunno. Things that look interesting, things that look annoying. I almost certainly won’t even see the movie until after it leaves theatres so…

I’ll keep with my earlier opinion I hope it’s a good time for the kids.

[cursedvibes]

When reading a book or watching a series, have you :

a. Finish a book or a series, even when you dislike the mc until the end but love the story (What's the title?)

b. Finish a book or a series, even when you dislike the story but love the mc (what's the title?)

c Finish a book or a series, even when you dislike the mc and story but love the worldbuilding (what's the title?)

d. Finish a book or a series, even when you dislike the mc, story, worldbuilding but still finish it for whatever reason (what's the title?)

Generally, with movies or TV series I am very quick to drop them if I don't find them interesting and never pick them up again. It's moreso with books and mangas/comics where I continue while some parts might not engage me much or I even lost most of my interest completely, but I keep going to find out how it ends. Especially applies for stuff that is currently coming out. I'll quickly forget about a boring anime or TV series that updates weekly, but checking for a new manga chapter is much easier. There only has to be something that makes me curious about the ending or some slither of hope that it might become interesting again in the future.

a.) That applies to a lot of series, especially mangas and shonen in particular. With books I'm more likely to drop it if I don't like the mc, but that's mostly due to being constrained to that person's viewpoint in most cases. And being in the head of someone you don't like or care for isn't fun. Mangas have a much broader perspective there. Side characters or villains are usually the main reason I stick to them till the end. Best example, Monster is one of my favourite animangas and I very quickly lost interest in Tenma or even found him annoying. Johan very much made up for that though, as well a few other side characters and the mystery of the story in general. Same with Chi no Wadachi. I feel for the mc's struggles, but I don't feel him as a person very interesting on his own. Part of that is also intentional, since his mother robbed him of his identity, I just thought that made the last part of the story not very engaging. I can see what the author was trying to do, I appreciate it and I still like the story overall, but reading it with month-long break with only 10 page updates made it drag quite a lot. I'm glad I stuck to it though and reading it in one go instead of monthly makes for a better experience too, I think. Naruto would also be an example of a shonen where I find the main character mostly annoying. I skipped large parts of Pain's arc and the beginning of the 4th Shinobi World War and only returned for Madara and later Orochimaru. Even if I hadn't, I would've still read the end though, simply because Naruto was such a large part of my childhood. Hunter x Hunter is also an example where I don't care much for most of the main four, but I stick to it because of other characters, the villains and simply because I like the story and world building.

b.) I don't think there is any. Characters make up a big appeal of a story for me, but not so much that they could carry every other fault on their backs. I might check what happens to a character I liked after the series is over, but if I can't stand the story that is being told, I won't read or watch it till the end.

c.) Tengoku Daimakyou would fit here I guess. Any part of the story that follows Maru has me bored to disgusted and frustrated and his presence also sours me on Kiruko a bit although I like them isolated. I still check for updates every once in a while though because I think every part of the story that touches on Takahara Academy is actually interesting and there are a lot of engaging characters there. Seeing them adapt to the outside world was nice too and I like the previous Anjulas fight. Those little moments were we get more info on the mutated students and such are interesting enough that I check for updates, even if I end up only skimming the current chapters that focus on Maru. The end of Dungeon Meshi might qualify too, but I really only mean the last 10 chapters or so here. The ending left me very dissatisfied and I only finished it and continue to read the extra chapters because I'm hoping for a more in-depth explanation for how this new world without dungeons is supposed to function. So far I haven't really gotten an answer... I don't really dislike any of the main characters, but by the end the only thing I really cared about besides the world building was Laios and the Winged Lion.

d.) Chainsaw Man. Part 2 started promising enough, but after Yuko's death and this forced romance between Asa and Denji I really lost all interest in the story. I still check on it every month or so or whenever I remember it exist, simply because I liked Part 1 well enough and I am curious about what happens to Asa. And every time I get disappointed. Asa hasn't really been relevant lately, I never liked Denji all that much and the other characters are mostly uninteresting too, the story isn't very engaging and feels a bit aimless and you don't even have a charismatic villain to pull it all together. There's the vague threat of the Death Devil, but that doesn't feel very imminent. The Fire Devil is very poorly established and its powers don't make much sense to me (what about fire makes you able to willy-nilly hand out powers of other devils to humans while making fake contracts with them nonetheless). Fami is kinda more comic relief like Yoru, I don't find her very threatening. Barem is fine I guess, he knows how to spice things up, but he's only a minor antagonist. They are really lacking a real looming presence that also pushes the plot forward like Makima. Denji constantly getting used as victim of some predatory women also is getting really old and makes me feel very uncomfortable because nothing of consequence ever happens from it. It's always just "woman/girl uses or threatens Denji in exchange for sexual or romantic favours. he falls for it. rince and repeat." Feels more exploitative than any message about survivors of sexual assault and toxic relationships. But despite all my complaints I still want to at least see how it all wraps up to make up my opinion on the whole series and I still have that slither of hope that it might become interesting again at some point again. Die Hoffnung stirbt zuletzt.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month: missameliep

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @missameliep ​! We hope you will enjoy learning more about her and her work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links: 

Tumblr blog: missameliep Tumblr Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What's the first book you played? 

I started playing Choices sometime around 2017. While playing another game on my phone, I got curious after seeing some strangely funny adds about the app. I remember that the first time I logged into the game it asked me the kind of story I wished to play and I think the first book it suggested was Rules of Engagement. So, I guess that was the first one… but I remember the first ones I really enjoyed playing were the LoveHacks series and HSS.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

For a while I had read fanfics on AO3 and then found out about Tumblr, I created my own account in October 2018 with the intention of reading fanfics. So, I officially joined the Choices fandom on Tumblr around October or November 2018, after spending a few times only reading fanfics, getting to know how Tumblr worked and following some of my favorite writers at the time and reading news and theories about the books, until I eventually posted my own fanfics and started interacting more with others fans and creators.

3- How did you pick your url name? 

My url name was inspired by one of my favorites movie characters: Amelie Poulain. 

4- Go back to your archive and tell us about the first post on your Choices blog. 

It was something totally unrelated to Choices lol I was still getting used to Tumblr and the first post was probably something about cats or a meme I think… (Tumblr app won't let me see my archive)

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I started in late 2018. I had recently found out about fanfiction during many sleepless nights nursing my baby daughter and read a ton of fics from another fandom… and since I had stopped writing content for my best friend's maternity blog but was still excited about writing, the idea of writing one story of mine sounded appealing, and still does. Four years later, and I'm still here, even if real life has left me little time to write fanfic this past year ☺️

6- What is your favorite Choices book to write about?

My favorite book to write is definitely Desire & Decorum, though I enjoy writing for Blades and Wake the Dead too.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it or would you change anything about it? The first chapter of my series, The Pursuit of Happiness - was the first fanfic I ever wrote. I still like it and am proud of it. Of course, as a perfectionist, there are a ton of things I'd change (and I have fidgetted with it many times since it was originally posted, lol), but I like to think that as my first attempt at writing a fictional story after too many years of only writing academic and professional texts it was a good start and I'm happy I overcame my fears and posted and allowed people to read it even if it was not perfect. When I read those initial chapters now, I can see how much I have learned and developed my craft, and I'm happy about this. Besides, this first chapter was an opportunity to get in touch with other Desire & Decorum fans, and it was an amazing experience with how supportive and kind people can be in this fandom ❤️

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

OMG! Asking me to pick one is like asking a mother to pick a favorite child lol I can't, so I'm cheating and picking two - one for each of my favorite books: Run to You, a Desire & Decorum one shot and Heart in a Cage, a Blades one shot.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but could use a little more love?

Definitely, Like Poetry, this Blades one-shot is so out of my style and different from everything else I've posted on Tumblr. It has a lot of angst and deals with the dilemmas of a relationship between a human and an elf, and mortality is the main subject, and I have experienced a different kind of narrative, but the readers really enjoyed it, and I was happy I posted it. 

Well, I can't complain. I have a small blog and mostly write for a pairing that is not the most popular in the fandom; despite those facts, I have received so much support and love from readers, but if I could pick one fic that I'd like to receive more love would be the miniseries Is This Love? , because it was special to create a backstory for my Desire & Decorum MC Elizabeth before she became Lady Elizabeth and heiress of Edgewater, and address some subjects I really wanted to deal with but were mostly hinted at in The Pursuit of Happiness, and writing the relationship between Elizabeth and her mother Mary and the friendship with Briar was truly special to me. 

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Fluff. No question. I love writing romantic tropes and happy endings, so fluff it is l, especially to my OTP Elizabeth and Hamid ☺️

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

My MCs are not versions of myself, but I do recognize some traits and aspects of myself, specially in my Desire & Decorum OC Elizabeth Foredale, like myself, she's Brazilian, and sometimes there are references like in her speech pattern in informal situations and the use of slang or calling even the LI "dude" that are very me. There are some subjects and options, like Elizabeth being a law student, that echo my life and experience… 

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

It usually depends. But since English is not my first language, sometimes I struggle with descriptions and finding suitable vocabulary and metaphor and creating sentences with a structure that makes sense in English, and since my references are in another language some of my cultural references have no translation or make no sense outside my country. Also I tend to be too wordy and sometimes it's hard to keep the pace flowing as it should, and it takes some time and work during editing to correct that.

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Yes, I do have a lot of stories in my drafts and a long list of WIPs that I wish to finish, and alas, I had the time and motivation to finish them all. I will list three in particular that I have posted in the first chapter and are on my priority list to finish: Bonds of Sea and Fire, I love writing for Tyril and Arwen (f!elf!MC), and I have lots of drafts, but never found time and inspiration to continue the series; Love Thy Neighbour, it's an AU where Elizabeth and Hamid are neighbours at London, and it's a fluff story about destiny and falling in love when you least expect; and Desire & Decorum & Zombies, it's a gothic supernatural AU where zombies are real, and the MC, who is the heiress to Edgewater has to struggle to fit in this new world of nobility, uncover mysteries and literally fight for her life. Three are very different stories, but all have a place in my heart.

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

I don't know!! Maybe depending on who this person would be. 🫣 I am very self-conscious about my writing, and only my husband knows that I write fanfic and has read a few of my works… but if it was someone I trusted and was unfamiliar with Choices, I would recommend Like Poetry or the miniseries Safe, because not knowing the characters wouldn't be an obstacle and I'm proud of my writing in those stories.

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing? I think everything I've read in my life has made an impact on my writing, even if it taught me what or how I didn't want to write and tell my stories. I've read many Brazilian writers, and I love Machado de Assis and his sense of humor, and I know I've incorporated elements of his style into mine, especially when writing historical fics like my Desire & Decorum series; and there are so many other published authors like Jane Austen and Antoine de Saint-Exupéry who also influenced my storytelling. As for fanfic writers, there are definitely some who influenced me. In the Choices fandom, @lorirwritesfanfic was a huge influence. Her Desire and Decorum AU was the inspiration for my series Second Chances, without reading her fics I don't think I would have ventured into creating my own contemporary days AU; another inspiration was @/pixieferry. Her style was amazing and poetic and filled with references unfortunately, she's no longer active in the fandom, but I still think about her fics.

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

Second Chances! I can totally see it as a rom-com or a series, and I have my dream cast for it ❤️ 

17- Do you write original stories? 

I write original stories. I have written a couple of things when I was a teen, mostly short stories, and have in my drafts two stories I'd like to turn into novels that I started writing during the pandemics and world building for those truly excite me. 

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

I'm an amateur photographer, but I haven't really dedicated myself to this for a while for lack of time, and I like drawing and doing all sorts of craft work with my daughter. 

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

This face ☺️ - I use it a lot! 

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

Writing fanfic has been a nice hobby and means to improve my skills, which is something great for anybody that would like to someday be a published author. But most importantly, I think are the people I got to befriend in the Choices fandom and how much I've learned along the way (which has been so much more than I thought I would gain from playing this silly game when I first started ☺️); each comment has meant so much either to help me improve or to encourage me to keep on writing. So, I just wanted to thank each and every one of you who has read my fics and taken a moment from your time to give me feedback, and my lovely friends who have beta read my fics and cheered me on when writer's block or imposter syndrome was in the way of writing, @princess-geek, @lorirwriesfanfic, and @noesapphic, you guys are amazing and have my gratitude ❤️

[doubledyke]

3, 7, 9, 14, 15, 17, 22 >:3

hey thanks!

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr:

i def don't have a screenshot of anything related to eene. i can't even really think of any on tumblr but the goddamn eene subreddit can be soooo cancerous. i don't follow it but it shows up in my feed bc i visited it once, but then i'll come across some goofy ass shit that compels me to click and the cycle starts again. but generally ONE of the worst takes on any site is that eddy would grow up to be a schlubby bozo in a trench coat selling Stiff Rox behind a middle school or similar takes. he would be very well dressed while peddling his wares, thank you very much.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?:

the only character i really dislike for any reason is jonny. he's so goddamn annoying to me. i know that's the point, so kudos to david avalon lol. if anything, an interesting fandom interpretation could probably change my view of him. but yeah i definitely think he has some really funny lines and gags, but overall he's pretty boring and obnoxious. with basically everyone else, i can see the appeal or at least the potential for something interesting. back in the dark ages (2014) i feel like i had a moment where i got pretty tired of the way edd was made out to be such a mary sue that i might have gotten annoyed by him or that idea of him at the very least. i admittedly take my own liberties when "analyzing" him, but as with all the eds, he's a complex character. the edd fan girls who'd have him pickin' daisies while eddy murders innocents drove me crazy.

9. worst part of canon:

i've never given it much thought, but i'd probably say it would be kanker related. i really love the kankers, even with the limited info we have on them. i just love unhinged girls/women. i would have loved to have seen them get some sort of arc and have a purpose outside of their roles as boy crazy "trailer trash". if there were ever a spin off, i'd hope it would be about them and their insane home life.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time:

i'm a terrible fan; i haven't read a fic in a long time for whatever reason. they're all in my "rainy day" stash since eene related content is a limited resource. i don't know that there's any one thing or a pattern i've noticed in multiple fics from different people. however, one thing i LOVE is seeing people write slapstick into their fics. i think it's so fucking cool and interesting. everyone in this fandom is so damn multi-talented i could scream.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time:

i guess probably giving eddy blue hair, or giving edd long hair, which i love! edd doesn't seem like the type to have long hair, but somehow it's so damn fitting. idk where blue haired eddy started but its fanon at this point and i'm down. but i love his 3 strange antennae as well.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art:

unfortunately again, i'm the worst person to answer this bc i have no idea what all is out there in regards to fics. but i'd love to see some good stories about the eds in high school dealing with their new found and fleeting "acceptance" from the other kids.

i'd also love to see more stories that have all three eds living under one roof as adults and all the insanity that would ensue. i want to write about this one in particular, so hopefully i'll be able to come up with a cohesive plot at some point.

would also love some eddeddy drama like them breaking up 👀 they get back together of course because they're the only two idiots who will deal with each other's bullshit

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores:

edd's giant chin

[wangmiao]

director yang lei is zhang luyi’s fanboy

this has been in my draft for days, and i don’t know if anyone will have the patience to read it, but i finally decided to post it after making a supporting gif set earlier lol. anyways, this has been talked about in the cfandom. it’a almost apparent that three-body’s director yang lei is a “fanboy” of zhang luyi or zhang luyi is yang lei’s muse. 

did you ever feel that almost every shot of wang miao was extra “pretty” in three-body? I mean, every shot was treated with utter respect in this show, and zhang luyi is handsome himself. but as a lot of fans mentioned, it felt that wang miao’s shots were just extra pretty or even sensual, especially with the full body tilt shots (yes, i made this set just for this post lol) that you usually wouldn’t see for a character that’s a middle aged male scientist. a lot of fans are finally getting the appeal of zhang luyi thanks to three-body. and it’s speculated that yang lei, who has worked with zhang luyi multiple times in the past, was part of the reason why those shots were there.

you want to know how much yang lei likes zhang luyi? screencaps from one bts video might shed some light. yang lei, zhang luyi, and yu hewei were writing on the screen to showcase their handwriting (and playing with the screen lol). zhang luyi and yu hewei did the normal thing. they wrote poems:

BUT director yang lei, he just kept writing zhang luyi’s name. and fans were like...this is too much!!! we know. we know that you love him. we know! 

in the first screencap below, he wrote zhang luyi’s name once to “summon” the actor to the screen. and quickly wiped that out after zhang luyi was there looking at him.

then, here, he wrote zhang luyi’s name for at least three times (circled in green). i’m almost sure that the one that was cut off on the right of the screen was his name because in the next screencap the top two names were in the exact same handwriting and position. our director only remembered to start to write yu hewei’s name (in purple circle) after that. poor yu hewei xD

lastly, i don’t know if this screencap below came in before or after the one above. if it was after the one above, then, yang lei erased one of zhang luyi’s names and yu hewei’s name, and finally remembered that he was filming this show called “three-body” and started to write it (in yellow circle). if it was before the screencap above, then, after he wrote three-body, he was like “nope, i don’t need the show name. i need one more zhang luyi.”

jokes aside, i read multiple interviews describing how close yang lei and zhang luyi were. they were old friends that were almost like families to each other. they can understand each other just through their eyes without any words. during the filming of three-body, yang lei wrote a lot of notes on the script. and immediately after reading them, zhang luyi would say i got it. and his acting would turn out to be exactly what yang lei had in mind.

in one other interview, the producer of another show said that you didn’t need to convince people about how much they loved each other. as a precious friend to yang lei, the director wouldn’t just give any roles to zhang luyi. it would have been the trump card, a character that was legendary in the show.

also, if the sites i researched on provided accurate info, the red in 2014 was the first series that zhang luyi played the main character. and as the cdrama with the second highest rating in 2014 on douban, it was the series that made zhang luyi more famous. guess what, the director was yang lei. 

and when the red was mentioned, you had to also mention the “infamous” torture scenes of zhang luyi. these scenes are apparently resurfacing, and old and new fans are enjoying them because he was too “pretty” even in these unfortunate circumstances. and thanks to yang lei, we got to see these.

ps. be warned that these scenes are dark. but if you don’t mind, you can check them out here on bilibili. the first clip was zhang luyi accusing director yang lei and the visual effect director for designing these torture devices LOL. he was like who designed these scenes? there were sick! whoever designed them must have watched b-movies growing up and have twisted tastes. poor zhang luyi, LOLLOLLOL...

[dojae-huh]

I've been binge-watching all NCT MVs, stages and dance practice videos, again :p Doyoung really has something that intrigues everytime I watch though he is not my bias. I have a soft spot for him since I watched some of NCT life seasons but I follow him just lil bit then. I have the complex that I can't leave the ones that I have so much time invested to watch them, even when sometimes I find other members much more intrigue me.

Ermm, when is the exact moment that you know Do is your ult bias and just focus on him? You are keen to observe him mature as an artist but also as a person, I mean both on cam and off cam. You must have a strong faith in who he is and what he gonna offer next I guess... Sometimes I realize that I am toxic to expect my biases to go the way I want and achieve this n that, kind of living by proxy mental. That's frustrated! Do you ever expect anything from being a Do bias? For me I think I am about to give up on the idol-fangirl relationship.. I mean I would still support them but I want to observe many other things besides that I don't notice be4 instead of screaming and crazily watch tons of videos with guilty pleasure. I admire people that can observe everything and offer ideas on things in general, hmm like the stuff you write about SM and kpop idols. Anw, thank you for your contents and sorry for this long confusing question. Thank you again!

That's normal. When humans invest a lot in something, they have hard time abandoning it. It's a problem in business. Most can't terminate a project in progress even if it becomes evident it will fail and won't be profitable (so it's better to drop it and stop spending money on it).

Life hack. If you'll make people help you somehow, they will be more ready to care about you, heh. You will make them be invested in you. Literally.

Anyhow.

You can take a break with your biases though? And comeback with renewed interest after some time. The good thing about k-pop is that content is saved on platforms. No problem in catching up after a few years. The time you invested in them won't become a waste of time in any case, your gained knowledge about them won't dissapear.

When I asked what should I watch to get to know NCT, I was directed to Idol Weekly with NCT2018. I'd already singled out Jaehyun, Doyoung and Taeyong after watching a few MVs and dance practices, but I hadn't memorised their names yet. By the end of the programme I was sure Doyoung will be my bias. You can read this tag for more info.

I usually "fall in love" very quickly and don't get dissapointed. Eventhough it happens when I warm up to celebreties/fictional characters with time, after getting to know them better, such cases never turn into a new obsession. So Doyoung wasn't an exception. And the fact that in Wish I like the members, but noone hooked me, most probably mean that there won't be a second Doyoung. On the other hand, it's nice to have a whole group to be appealing for a change.

Hm, eventhough I want Doyoung to achieve this and that, I'm still a passive observer, so I won't be dissapointed with any outcome. I'm an admirer, not an "idol-producer". Doyoung does, I observe and marvel. Whatever he wins in life are his achievements. I get from him the process, the journey to those mountain picks. A life story of an ambitious person and an artist. There are no other types of parasocial relationships and co-dependencies.

If you understood your problem of an unhealthy fan-idol relationship (living vicariously through someone is bad), you have the power to change yourself and your attitude. The first step to solving an issue is a recognition of the said issue. Likewise, if you feel like you outgrew fangirling, then move on to newer pastures.

Eventhough I can safely call myself a stan, I'm an active participant in the fandom, my interest in NCT (and Doyoung) is supported by much more than a pretty face and a nice voice. It's showbusiness, it's social dynamics, leadership, stage outfits, concept development, Korean culture and mentality, Korean variety, the fandom itself, afterall. Doyoung is the White rabbit that leads me to Wonderland where I encounter all other interesting things.

As for content. I skip "empty" content and make sure to watch "informative" programmes. Those that will show me the members from a new side, or provide me with a better understanding of them.

Pick up a topic that is either very interesting to you (brings satisfaction, joy) or can be very useful to you (develop you) and dig. If anything, you'll practice active search and choosing your own direction. In this age of algorythms offering us stuff and deciding for us, it's a needed skill. How to be proactive and be a manager of one's own life.

Like Doyoung-sonsennim.

[shifuto]

(the dvd ending extra yay \o/)

some closing thoughts after this 2-months long adventure revisiting Yugioh 5D's..

I feel like I finally could enjoy this show as it's supposed to be enjoyed and it probably has to do with the fact that I'm more mature now (also finally able to get the full hd experience 🤣) and there's a fun thing about having a dogshit working memory: to be able to experience this show almost as if it was the first time again 😊 I can't recall when was the last time I watched it but it was probably close to 8-10 years ago 🤣

some loathed characters became favorites - I was avoiding this show like the plague because Jack Atlas was just......... so bad for past me 🤣🤣🤣 - well it turns out his peacock personality and overpowering sex appeal worked on me 🙄 Thanks I hate it 🤣💜

some characters I paid no attention before became favorites, too: Rex Godwin have my whole heart and I am so sad he died.. man why do my favorites always die huh huh???? 😭 get me out of here with this shit......... also, Rua (Lua) is the sweetest little guy and I was so damn excited for him because he's just so goddamn cool?!??1 Wtf!! Also most the "villains" since I'm built different and villains are my weak spot 🤣

my favorites are still my favorites so it was a delight to go back to them and love them even more, and see them in a different way than before

and man....... the freaking shipping that was going on inside of my brain LMFAO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

guess the most surprising thing though?

Bruno/Antinomy!

have to confess I did not remember him much so I kind of went on blind and, fuck me, he became one of my favs and do I even risk to say he IS my favorite character in this show?!!?? I could talk about this and about him for days but the long story short is that he checked all the boxes for me and pressed all the right buttons too and then he died too because of fucking course he died and I cried like fuck my life dude. That was so devastating... definitely want to give this show another go soon just so I can watch Bruno again. We have never had another character as cool and interesting as him in the franchise

as is tradition in YGOs, 5Ds started getting much better by the end, but it was very solid all over (except that arc full of fillers, it was annoying as hell because the episodes were not good), Crash Town was fun, and the last two arcs (WRGP and Ark Cradle) were very good

overall.. I think I'd bump 5Ds all the way up, becoming my second favorite YGO (guess it was in 4th place before?), because Zexal takes the podium FOR NOW, we'll see when I rewatch it and just how that will go XD

because we don't gatekeep on this house, you can find mkv+soft subs at nyaa dot si (best quality you'll get, but the files are fucking massive), and streaming at 123anime dot info (you can download there too, but it's mp4+hard subs). Both have all YGO series and a few other things too yay \o/

[anonnie-in-wonderland]

when i say that I enjoyed “Home Calls the Heart” so much trust that i do not lie!!! i typically don’t like to compare people bc everyone has a different journey to writing and creating stories on here , but man the way you write using tropes like hybrid and poly bts, which can easily become horribly written (in my opinion) is something out of this world. I feel like people typically either explain the world surrounding hybrids too much or too little to truly understand how their dynamics work throughout the story. But the way you write makes it seem right. I understand enough to the point where it doesn’t distract me from the main plot! I also love the way you write poly!bts <3 again im trying not to sound too harsh because everyone works hard for their art, but the way you write ot7xreader seems so genuine and not too cartoonish if that makes sense. i have a hard time trying to find some good poly!bts fics bc i luv them so much but sometimes it hurts my head. i mean i could imagine how hard it could be to incorporate seven character that have different traits and their own spirit, but, again, the way you have written them in “Home Calls the Heart” has me excited for new chapters to come!! Im trying my best to give feedback and appreciation towards my fav authors on here because i know how hard it is to express your art and not be financially compensated jiji you guys literally deserve the world!!! it’s also fun just being able to tell my favorite people that they are doing amazing at what they do best :) i hope this ask finds you well and yeah <3 i’ve also decided to give myself a lil nickname if that’s okay (pls do let me know if that’s okay) i would like for it to be the 🌙 emoji!! if someone else has it pls lmk so i could change it jiji-🌙

Hello, hello! Wow this was not something I was ever expecting to receive, but I am really humbled. I thank you for being into my writing. I’ve been writing a very long time but not for any kpop fandoms, and I was nervous about how it would be received.

I think different writing styles appeal to different people, but at the same time I know what you mean! It can be very difficult to find the right balance of how much information to use, and you don’t really want to confuse yourself or the reader, but at the same time you want to include more than barebones info.

I’m glad my approach to worldbuilding currently is not too hard to follow along with. That’s the key. Because at the end of the day I saw the prompt and wanted to tell a nice tale of the reader and hybrid BTS all healing from their friendship (and eventually more) with each other. As to the relationships…OT&s are popular and I knew right away I wouldn’t be leaving anyone out cause that’s not my style, but I did have to decide whether there would be shipping among OT7 or not, and you know I feel like when you’ve been around the people you love a long time, things would be casual. Casual intimacy.

I think some stories maybe do a lot of “hey!! Look!! They’re dating!!” And write them accordingly, and I suppose that’s fine, but I guess I try to write them as people in love who have nothing to prove. They just are comfortable in a relationship together and the Y/N gets to be a part of it.

Thank you for wanting to be someone that tells fanfic writers how much they’re appreciated. 🥹 That is so kind! I admit, I kind of miss the consistency of the feedback on my writing I’ve gotten in the past. Like beyond people just asking to be on the taglist or saying they’re excited to read more, I really use to love engaging with people on tumblr about my writing, but haven’t gotten a whole lot of that so far. So sometimes I wonder if I come off too intimidating. 😭 Because I see other writers chatting with readers about their stories and I’d love to do the same if anyone wants to. I appreciate any and everyone who takes the time to leave comments or ask questions though!

And of course you can go by that emoji if you choose to! It would help me keep track of who I’m talking to in the future and no one else is using it, so I don’t see why not. Thanks for your ask!

[somewhereinthepines]

same anon here;) (i hope i’m not bothering you) i was wondering and honestly can’t come up to any conclusion, so i wanna ask your opinion - why do you think Chris x Ryan is such a rare pair? especially considering the popularity of Travis x Laura ship. i mean if it was the age gap that is so disturbing, it would apply to them as well? it’s really puzzling to me. (i love both)

oh, no worries, you don’t bother me! i honestly, a pretty chatty person, so it’s not a problem for me to answer questions or just talk about things! 

and well, what i will write below is a personal guess, which is as good as any. i might be wrong on a thing or two, and i suppose that all of these assumptions can be read as separate reasons for specific kinds of folks. but ah…let’s see. 

i think, that the most possible reason is that we have very little in canon to go by. a lot of chris/ryan stuff is knit between the lines of the story vs being bluntly shown. in comparison, travis & laura have a lot of moments in canon, and you can influence their relationships. you can control, if travis will kill laura/re-capture her again or not. you can determine how good/bad their relationships are. and there is literally an ending, where travis continues keeping the gal in the basement, basically. with ryan and chris, there are dozens of hints, lil bits here and there, but so very little that you can actually conjure up, esp gameplay wise. so this might be the first why. lack of basic info/scenes, when it comes to mister h & ryan. and i’ve noticed, that many people don’t actually look past what is presented to them or just don’t get interested in certain tiny plot-pockets. everyone ‘read’ the story through their own prism, after all. that’s only fair…

then, there is a bit where dylan/ryan is prob the most popular ship in fandom. it’s so hella rare to see someone writing anything else for these characters, beside them being coupled together. and dylan is clearly a ‘whump’ of the fandom too, the ‘precious baby’, so he gets more stuff by default. like ryan doesn’t seem to get any ships beside, him being with dylan, and then occasionally with kaitlyn or laura. every other ship with him is stretched thin and in-between. meanwhile, dylan got paired with almost every male character in the game, at least once. so it says smth too, i guess. like where most people’s pref lies. or what appeals to them the most. kinda same thing happens with travis/laura, where travis automatically makes people want to investigate deeper into his narrative. 

lastly, i suppose that yeah big age gap can turn some folks off. and it’s actually somehow more ‘alright’ with most people, when such a thing is portrayed between male and female. or even female and female. vs male/male. not sure why. but i’ve noticed it before. and to think about it, this can also be joined with the fact, that a lot of fellas have problems with picturing mentors & their protage (even tho they’re of legal age) relationships as smth, that won’t be based/established on manipulation/power struggles. but personally, i think, that it’s one of those things, that heavily depends on how a person even views these terms or a possible dynamics on main. how they translate the power struggle, and is it always black/white or not. 

the quarry did a good job with giving ‘hints’ on certain aspects, but mostly never speaking them out loud. and it’s once again individual. for me the quarry is less of ‘the wolf would kill someone they love, bc they’re outta control’, but more like ‘the wolf loves you so uncontrollably. loves you so much, that they cannot help, but be so very deadly toward you’. in fiction, love is so very much fun, when it’s the extreme kind of one. but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. 

anyhow, this is like my top 3 main guesses on the topic. hopefully, this helped! 

[jaybaumans]

Hey it's the obscure meme submitter again.I should maybe be asking reddit but do you know what happened with Jack and some sort of "star wars conspiracy"?? I tried to read an article and did not understand wtf was happening cause I'm new here. I then came upon some posts calling RLM bigots and now I can't unsee it. Is there like an alt right contingent to their fanbase?

Ok so I usually stay away from controversy or outside drama of any sort and just watch the YouTube vids for fun but for those wondering, anon is referring to this tweet by Jack:

Where he is retweeting this article that’s basically about how alt-right and white supremacy groups negatively targeted The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi for having a diverse cast of strong characters and that played some part in why The Rise of Skywalker sucked, because I guess these hate groups got what they wanted which was to erase that diversity as much as possible (I.e. giving Poe a criminal backstory, downgrading Finn’s main character role significantly, making Rey special for her lineage rather than her own merit and skill, basically erasing Rose, etc.) thereby ruining the whole sequel trilogy with a disappointing ending.

I only skimmed the article, but it seems to be that it is not agreeing with the alt right criticisms, but the author is simply explaining how said criticisms lead to the bad retconning of the story/characters in order to appeal to bigoted “fans,” I guess, and that holding negative views against certain minority characters can lead to holding those views against minorities in real life. From looking at the tweet, it seems to me that Jack is just agreeing with the article’s point about how hate, racism, and misogyny overpowered the ending of the franchise and tainted it (and that hating diversity in the franchise can/has lead to more extremist hate views for some fans). Some people are taking it as Jack agreeing with the alt-right stance, but I’m personally not getting that from this. In my opinion that’s not what’s happening and people are taking his response the wrong way by saying he himself is alt-right. If anyone else has more info or a different explanation, please share as I don’t know anything beyond the tweet and the article.

[starsbegantofall]

Finally finished the One Piece live action bc my brother's cutting off Netflix next week lol. I have some thoughts.

No spoilers, it's just a long entry.

First off, why? It has been said the previous live actions based on anime were terrible, not just the Netflix productions although those were probably the ones that come to mind first, but also the Japanese ones. However, I also read the live actions were mostly a vehicle for young actors to get experience, so personally I never had any high hopes on them and never watched any. Live actions and other real life adaptations like musicals based on other franchises like books and games I have watched though, got plenty of thoughts on those for another time lol.

But someone out there really loved One Piece enough to produce the English speaking live action adaption against all common sense and previous experience, and spent like a gajillion dollars and also obtained Oda's approval. I guess One Piece has international appeal (sorta???) in that the western world loves pirates, so therefore it would be more appealing than say... ninjas or something really Japanese. But it's also a long running series without an end, and the likelihood of a profit is slim (and of course the travesty of the strikes in Hollywood that will definitely delay any attempt at further seasons). This first season was a gamble that succeeded, and for that, I applaud everyone involved for their testicular fortitude.

Overall, I really enjoyed the show. There were choices made that I was confused by (I haven't read the beginning chapters in like a decade so I'm fuzzy on the details, but I do know certain characters in the early chapters return and they were uhh not there at all lol). They committed to the plot and characterization and style, kept all the weirdness and quirks of a shounen manga series, yet made a few changes to keep manga/anime fans on their toes. The actors were about as accurate to the original as one can expect down to the rainbow hair colors and animal characteristics, but not too zany. I even liked the kiddos, and especially the villains and side characters. I think the most common complaint among manga/anime fans is that they left out certain characters and background info probably due to time constraints, and so things felt rushed and unexplained, except on the marine's side. It still could be a good decision though, for example, they decided to jump the gun and explain certain world lore things in case the series never continues, but leave the main characters mysterious so they have something to work with in case it does continue. But I'm just guessing here lol.

If I came to the series cold without prior knowledge, I would say this was an excellent if bizarre production and it definitely would draw me into the og manga and anime. However, I do have prior knowledge of the manga, so I would give it a 9.5/10. What's the deducted half point for? I felt like one more episode could have helped with the missing characters and/or character building; on the other hand, one episode might be too long and slow down the pace too much.

Anyway, I'm an artist and I absolutely am convinced that the One Piece live action brought Oda's art style to life as much as reasonably possible, down to the wanted posters, some of the crew's most iconic outfits, the details on the fishmen, the ships and islands, and that to me makes this the best live action ever. They even used camera magic to make their eyes big and their arms and legs skinny and their boobs boobylicious, that's dedication to the bit.

[hymn-of-muse]

my, hello there! hiraeth here

i came from your star rail matchup post, and let me tell you, you're amazing at your choice of words and skilled at invoking giddy, blushy feelings 🤭 since your request are open, i would love to request a honkai star rail matchup! now, i don't exactly know what information you seek, but i hope mine is acceptable and not too long for you

name/alias

as much as i wish for my name to be hiraeth, let's use my government third name, grace (or chiyo 千美 in my japanese name)

about

i just turned 19 this 1st of september 😌

i cosplay and write

i sing opera, i play the piano/violin

unfortunately, short (5'2 - 5'3) pear shaped physique, basically small tits, and plump lower body (gotta have something else for my lack of chest so i worked out hard 🥹)

i have a neutral colored skintone, more on the lighter side, himecut hairstyle, i dress professionally, vintage like, wardrobe consists of black, red and white, silver/golden accessories of rings, a variety of earrings etc. this is when i'm outside anyways to formal events or just my plain aesthetic. i dont try to do makeup, but when i do, its usually the dark feminine make up kind

notable traits

my... demeanor and aesthetic is very contrasting to how i act around heavily attractive men. i flinch, i hide, i avoid their gazes, i stutter, my resolve fails. i falter — blush visibly in their compelling, appealing gaze. i'm a duality and i don't know if i should be proud or shameful about it.

however, when i get past my shyness, i'm a tease, an open, affectionate flirt, but i don't flirt to hurt, i flirt to invoke happy, positive feelings, to make them feel wanted. and when i'm serious, it's the opposite, i'm silent, but overly, overly so observant of them, i spectate from afar, i blush from afar, and i seethe from afar when i get jealous, and its visible on my face, i'm posessive (and not in a jealous way, i just know what's mine, and mine only)

i'm an ambivert, i'm not afraid to be extroverted, to talk when its necessary, but i'm overall eerily quiet, observant (quoted by my mom)

i listen, and listen well.

i overthink and overthink heavily to death, something caused and amplified from my past lovers, especially my recent ex, continuing, i burnout easily, i tire easily, mental exhaustion plagues me often

when a problem arises, i will — no matter what, stay calm (because i had no choice, being a pillar for my younger siblings as the eldest after all, and taking care of my mother in general) and with the knowledge of me being a pillar, i grew to possess a motherly trait too

likes/dislikes

i have a deep affinity for reading, playing games, fictional men (cough) art of all kinds, all kinds of music, anime, italian food, all kinds of desserts, and i love silence, dim lighting, elegant surroundings

oh i love it when men call me mean nicknames such as "dumbass." "idiot." anything like that toned with affection, you can probably guess one of my main type already just by this info

i love traumatized, wise and relentlessly hurt men like blade, jing yuan, welt, scaramouche, toji, geto. (... cough. i wouldn't know if they would like someone like me, or is this my overthinking bothering me right now)

right continuing, my type of man is so... flexible? it ranges from literal ruthless morally bad characters to people like welt, nanami, LYNEY. i'm so confusing

i heavily dislike misunderstandings, so i do my best to inform, and i try even harder when i'm upset, i try my best to avoid conflict, to be silent. as for my case... conflicts usually arise because i'm too analytical, too obsevant, and that isn't a great pair with my overthinking at all.

nngh, i feel as if i've overshared heavily about myself, but i feel like that's the essence of a matchup no? getting to know, well... me. but i worry this is too long for you, so i deeply apologize for it. once again, you're amazing at what you do, if you decide to take in my request, thank you for taking your precious time for me.

love, hiraeth

hi i cannot read small text please use plain text only in asks

also i have a form linked in the pinned post for matchups (assuming thats what this thing is for) please check that out before resending the ask, thank you!

[donotlookatmyface]

10.05.22 - 1 : 17 p.m.

i have been semi-active in dating apps, its been about a week or two since i downloaded and updated info in them. i havent met up with anyone, no one im honestly that i share common interest with. there is ALOT of non binary people so i thought that was kinda funny. at work i was talking to a coworker about dating, him telling me about his dating life and how theres certain problems now that hes in his 30′s. ideally,  you would want to put all your eggs in one basket but, at the end of the day some things arent communicated with the other party and you can just end up worse, feeling like you wasted time. thats when it hit me that i am alone. i know i am “healing” and “finding myself” but i am alone. no one to share my rants with, i dont have a connection and i feel inadequate. i have overwhelming dreams of sex and how i would imagine what sex is like. i try not to masturbate since theres no satisfaction, nor will sex give it to me. i know im only 21, but even my parents ask about dating, “what ever happened to jellyfish?” / “you should go to <insert our country> and find you someone!” / “you should look for someone older” which i know it shouldn't bother me, and i do think i would want to marry someone with the same nationality as me since it would be easier for my family and keep in touch with my culture and all that. 

for whatever reason i always, always expect to meet ‘the one’ when i get on dating apps, but honestly no one seems to like me. i dont know if its because im not extremely either feminine or masculine, im guessing my short hair isnt as appealing as it is compared to when i had longer hair, my personality or just my looks. no one really answers to texts, no one talks to me or seems at all that interested in holding conversation. maybe i look to plain and dont want to smoke weed. 

i should be grateful that i dont have any issues but, my closest friends, in relationships, serious relationships. two of them are getting married and i plan to at least go to the court, they seem to be really happy together and honestly compliment each other, and obviously do actually love/care about each other. 

i feel as if in a stump. there is not much i do, not many people i see, not clear ambitions, and simply feel plain. i know i will be in the future thinking how this was just a weird feeling i had for a couple months years ago, but i get to be dissatisfied in the time i am experiencing it. i shouldn't feel like the things i feel now dont matter because future me wont care or wont think they are important. maybe in the future it gets to be better or what i say now doesnt matter but why do i get to suffer when i get to be happy in a future. 

i do want to go back to music writing, and just making songs again. maybe i will do something tomorrow. thing is, most of the time i do have an idea what i want to write about but i never have the right rhythm or flow i would want. i want to make something i am proud of and not rushed. something to help me talk about things or something that makes me happy, you know? 

of course, i wouldnt say a have such a horrible life, i do like where i am now, as a person and economically. i have my family, i have a stronger bond with them and spend as much time as i can with them, i have my wonderful cats, i have a job that i dont completely hate <for now> and friends that arent mean and actually talk to me and wan to be around me as well me to them. i plan on going to college, by next year and its a two year program. i hope this way i will have more of an idea what i want to do art wise, either work in character design, game design, animation, production, all that jazz. i would have to be a part timer for a while, so i am trying my best to save up as much now so i have a bit of cash in case anything goes horribly wrong or theres an emergency or maybe just have late bills or any of the sort. oh also also, i weigh 117lbs now so im not underweight or starving myself hahaaaa and i actually look my age so :0 i am healthy. 

ok bye