#but I reeeally wish I could see my V more

[spaceswifty]

I finally finished cyberpunk 2077 and I'm gonna give it 4/5 stars. I absolutely loved the vibe of the city and the aesthetic and most of the characters were interesting but I wish it was more of an rpg and in 3rd person and the ending was just ok but didn't feel that special

[alikestory]

i keep seeing various iterations of that webcomic post going around and i HATE IT it's so depressing ;___;;;

this post got so long and rambly i'm putting it under a cut. talking points include: smackjeeves, my old comic Wander, and various tangents

there were so many good webcomics i read on smackjeeves and deviantart back when i was in high school, they had a whole different energy... like the creators were having fun with it and not worrying about how to Make It. (there wasn't like, an industry around it then so :v )

i wish i could have experienced making a webcomic back then and participating in that scene... but it just makes me sad to think about....

(if i did post anything polished-looking enough to get readers i don't think i would have really enjoyed it... the big story I was drawing then was Wander and if I'd been able to pull off what I was going for it would have been great but that was NOT HAPPENING (I did draw like, three chapters I never posted anywhere and outlined some more and that thing was a MESS u__u) tho I did post a comic to smackjeeves at one point it was really sketchy and I originally drew it for my friends so it was all just inside jokes....... I think a couple people did subscribe to it for some reason??? very nice of them. anyway like. even Blackout City that I started like seeeven?? years later there are lots of things I wish I thought through more or are kinda dumb but I still like reading it =w= )

BUT IF I'D POSTED WANDER ;__; BACK THEN. there would have been SOMEONE who read it and was like "this is awesome" and it wouldn't matter (to them) that it didn't turn out how I wanted......

you know that kind of thing where a creator is embarrassed by their old work because their new stuff has become polished and professional but that silly, crazy stuff they did when they were figuring it out has so much HEART..... it would have been cool to be that for someone.......

ALSO IF I'D DRAWN MORE OF WANDER I COULD READ IT. u__u well it would suck but IF I'D DONE A GOOD JOB. imagine a world. :v it's not something I'm interested in writing now (tangent: I started capitalizing the "I"s and nothing else like I'm typing on a cell phone that's autocorrecting them even though I AM NOT and I don't know why but now I need to keep doing it for Consistency) but I would like to read it if someone else wrote it ; 3;

it was about the people working at this hotel at a crossroads between worlds. for most of the story it was about them dealing with various visitors who would be the main focus of the chapters and then slowly you learn about the main characters. (ideally. I was not then and continue to not be any good at coming up with short stories.) and then at the end there's a serial killer who one of the main characters had a childhood romance with until he killed her sister..... you know, some standard melodrama. :'^)

also it was supposed to be seven volumes long..... because I had no concept of how long that would take...... and because tokyo babylon is seven volumes long AND THE COVERS WERE ALSO GOING TO BE COLOUR-CODED THE SAME WAY, OKAY???? IF THERE'S ONE THING YOU NEED TO KNOW IT'S THAT I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED TOKYO BABYLON AND I ALWAYS WILL. CLAMP NEEDS TO RELEASE AN ART BOOK WITH ALL THE PREMIUM EDITION COVERS BECAUSE I WILL NOT BUY SEVEN VOLUMES OF MANGA I ALREADY OWN BUT I REEEALLY WANT TO. I DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH SPACE ON MY BOOKSHELF. ALSO AN ART BOOK OF ALL THE CLEAR CARD ART BC IT'S REALLY PRETTY.

those are my demands. anyway, what was i talking about?

[vinnival]

rating my coworkers bc im procrastinating on schoolwork

jess- 7/10 my trainer!!! v v nice, I think she's a lesbian? idk she has a puppy and let me pet it when she brought it in on her off day once. points off bc I almost never see her anymore bc I work on weekends only . come back mom

christina- 6/10 we're cool n she's newer than me but I just don't feel like I could carry on a convo with her? not in a bad way I'm just. We have different vibes I think

charkissa- 8/10 went to orientation w me, we talk and joke a lot but again, I don't see her too much. very friendly with everyone and drove me to work when she saw I was walking in the heat one time <3

richard- 6.5/10 omg he recognized my fnf songs as my alarms and he's into fnf as well! !! I was :O (he recognized zavodila and stress),,,, now I'm hoping he'll recognize my hank costume when I wear it 4 halloween.....

ame (uh-mee)- 5.5/10 gave me weird vibes at first but he just wants to seem friendly !! I like talking to him bc he seems like a guy who genuinely doesn't judge you for stuff. Plus he wears a neat little cap sometimes hohoe

amy- 7/10 she's SO funny, she loves screwing around with the regulars and with her coworkers (all friendly banter ofc), has a mischievous side to her as well! she gives off extreme wine aunt energy (and probably is one tbh, in the best way possible)

mike/alonso- 6/10 the only other minors alongside me that work there, they're pretty chill! I like working with them :)

ashley- 6.5/10 she's shorter than me yet she's one of my managers I think that's so funny tbh /lh. she's very sweet! calls people hun and stuff and gives off big sister vibes,, some customers have smack talked about her sometimes and says she's a little too sweet? like to the point she seems cocky? idk people are so cynical sometimes

matt- 7.5/10 shoutout to this mf. As he's one of my managers, I always seem to bother him the most when I needed a supervisor to give me numbers to check out alcohol/cigarettes. he's chill and always sports this man bun, also likes joking around but it's not prominent.

nicholas- 8/10 we just started actually talking today! he's v friendly and he's pretty well-versed in video games for the age he is (no offense to 23-yr-olds) also is in a band. he's funny and is also good at math...

zion- 9/10 this dude is teaching me how to do some cool scanning gun tricks, like flipping it in my hand and stuff, also reeeally funny and specifically we like to pick on each other bc yeah. very jolly dude! also was coworkers w my dad when he used 2 work at my store

pennie- 7.5/10 the one that hired me! omg she gives off mom energy so bad. she got me water when I was thirsty <3 also very friendly (and very ... quirky? yeah .)

ally- 7.5/10 helped me set up everything with my job oml I love her sm . she's a cancer survivor and is expecting!! she says the baby is due in november i think ? She's also v friendly and likes to go back and forth w pennie because they're v close

karen- 7/10 okay for someone named karen shes actually v nice and cool to be around! we haven't talked much outside of work terms n stuff but she teaches me lil things here n there

rosetta- 6.5/10 another coworker who used to work alongside my dad, she's more on the shy and keep-to-herself side, which thank GOD because I'm the same way . taught me how to register checks as payment options <3

I wish I got his actual name bc I don't want to deadname him and refer to him as the name on his namecard- 8.5/10 he gave me gel pens!!!! 100 of them!!!! He's rly cool and he smack talks the store to me I think it's so funny tbh they're nice to be around

[THE MFS I NEVER SEE ANYMORE]

lucas- 5/10 only bc I saw him like twice and never again. Come back I wanna hear u sing sea shanties :( I hope u didn't actually die/hsrs (it's complicated to explain, in short, he's kind of a daredevil? ? ? ??? ??)

destiny- 4/10 she was cool at first but. I think,, she's dating one of the minors...? she might be 18/19 and alonso is still a minor (I think 17?) so... uhm... its not EXTREMELY bad but good thing she quit idk if I'd feel comfy around her .

[miniwolfsbane]

JWCC Sammy Gutierrez and body positivity

THIS IS VERY LONG! (I just have a lot of feelings!) Also, this is personal and doesn’t talk a lot about Sammy and is just one big rant. 

Comment I wrote on the S2 preview “Also, shout out to the creators for making Sammy heavy, but it not effecting or having anything to do with her character. OR have her be obsessed with food. I'm sure other 90s kids remember the fat kid trope. Not doing fat logic, but we've come so far from the old days! As a woman who had that kind of body type growing up (had skinny friends, developed early, etc. it all was uncomfortable for many reasons. Long story.), it's amazing to see this kind of...semi-body positivity that's quiet and unspoken in a show aimed at everyone, including girls.  If I had seen this character at 13, my mind would've been blown. Kudos!!”

I’m reeeally tired and getting to that point where I get emotional about stupid stuff. However, this isn’t that stupid...maybe? 

We’ve reached a milestone, a kind of apex in American society, where being fat is no longer a running gag and it’s celebrated to be thick and/or a healthy weight. (Not to say skinny isn’t cool and it’s sure as heck better than carry 90+ pounds if it can be helped, but, as I said on Youtube, lots of 90s fat tropes were had, were they not? Every body type has their problems, blessings, and issues.) But, health is also a big issue and losing weight is too. I’m all for losing weight, but I also know what it was like growing up a fat kid, then a fat teenager in the 90s and 2000s when we didn’t have representation and people like Tocorra Jones, Melissa McCarthy,  Ashley Graham and Rebel Wilson around to promote different body shapes and/or being a little heavy or curvy while still being healthy. (Melissa and Rebel have lost weight and I applaud them full circle!)

Anyway, It is downright uplifting to see Sammy in JWCC like this! Being “thicker” than her two female friends doesn’t slow her down or hinder her in anyway. She is not obsessed with food. She is not constantly eating. Likewise, she has an actual personality and an interesting secret and backstory. The fans seem to love her. She is not dressed immodestly and she doesn’t seem to have ANY negative opinions of her body type, for now. Likewise, in a fast paced show like this, no one is talking behind her back about her weight or eating habits (again, for now. This could change in upcoming seasons, we don’t know.) Come to that, she’s fairly intelligent and isn’t dumb. Like, how many times have we seen a fat, dumb person in a show. (I’m looking at you Chris Griffin and Cleveland Jr!) This could’ve gone SO SIDEWAYS in her character creation any number of ways and I’m just amazed it didn’t. However, this maybe is attributed to the show being an action show and not a comedy? In any case, I’m so glad girls of this generation can see it. I wish I’d had it at their age. (It’s probably because her VA is heavy, but heavier than how Sammy is portrayed, to my knowledge. I’ve only seen her years ago on Disney channel.  Who cares why? It happened and I’m glad.) Please be assured, I’m NOT trying promote fat acceptance, just inclusivity, relatability, and representation. 

Like I say all the time, I’m not super heavy. I never was. As I said in the comment, I developed early and had mostly skinny friends growing up. I remember being about 11 and hosting my first sleepover and someone pointing to my arms at my stretch marks, asking what they were. I wasn’t traumatized and they didn’t tease me, but I was a little (a lot?) self-conscious. Like, can we please get the idea out of our head that ONLY pregnant women get stretch marks?? (Cocoa butter companies, hello?!) They can happen to girls that grow tall fast or, like me, you can have them all freaking over because the puberty button in your brain got stuck. (LOL?) And calling them cute things like skin lightning doesn’t really help. My limbs and body still look weird.

I don’t remember seeing many characters shaped like me in shows as a kid or teenager.  Unless maybe Simpsons characters with their pudgy bellies who may be some of the most average, realistic bodies in all of fiction, really. We can’t all be supermodels and body builders. Sailor Moon girls were all thin and leggy. None of the Magic School Bus kids were pudgy, all average and healthy (which is probably a good thing in a way. IDK. Representation is great, but so is promoting healthy eating and healthy shapes. Everything has their place.)  Disney characters were mostly animals at the time, and I didn’t see Recess until Highschool or something at 3 am, and even then, there was only Mikey. Mikey was progressive, but he wasn’t female. Closest I got was Ariel’s (Little Mermaid) sister, Adella ( https://littlemermaid.fandom.com/wiki/Adella) and even then, she had no belly and never animated the same outside of the series with not much character development or anything.

Cassie from Animorphs might’ve been a close second, but, though she was my favorite female character as a kid (not anymore), it was hard to say “OMG, she’s shaped like me!” as it was a book series with few visual aides outside of covers, posters and some toys. 

I remember seeing the singing group Cherish for a few seconds on TV once. A bunch of thick, busty, heavy black girls and I was SO EXCITED because for those few seconds on TV, there were girls that looked like me! Then some years later I found out a few of them lost weight and I was like bleh. (I didn’t follow their music or anything, not even sure how I saw them again.) Not that disapprove, health is essential, and I encourage people to lose weight for themselves, but it was nice having some representation. Except health needs to come first. It’s a two-edged sword if I ever saw one.

Don’t get me started on the sheer amount of girls with small/flat chests on TV. (No offense! See above about body types. Again, it’s about representation and seeing someone that looks like you that was not common in the 90s and early 2000s) I’m picky though. I wanted to see more representation, but the minute I saw it, I was not impressed or annoyed. To my better judgement, I saw a few episodes of something I won’t name with a curvy lead. I found her times dressing up as a man unconvincing and confusing because of her body shape. Other times I was, for lack of a better word, slightly appalled at her own size, even though she somewhat looked like me. I know, it makes no sense. Other times, I was mad at Lizzy Mcguire or another show for having skinny characters with A-cups while I was, er, way past training bras and smaller bras by 14/15 when the show was new.

Swearz, I developed (pun not intended!) this weird conspiracy theory that Disney execs have to look at the Star’s mom and other women in their family before casting a girl to make sure she stays thin/average chested for the shows entire run. Outside of one show, all shows in that era had the same thin girl body type. (And not much representation for different races for Disney back then, but that’s another debate for someone to better handle, not me.) 

All that said, my shape was attributed to four things: Diet, genetics, lack of exercise and my mom’s cooking. Not sure how much I subscribe to the “genetics effect body fat theory”, but the “genetics effect body shape” is definitely a thing! And hormones in chicken. My family said all I ever wanted when I was little was McDonald’s chicken nuggets all the time, so I think that had some play in how I turned out. It’s probably too much to get into here, and no one cares about my sob story, so let’s move on.

Sammy is awesome and I hope to see more characters like her from other studios in the future. Every body type needs representation, but every body also deserves to be healthy and nourished.

EDIT: WARNING: THE VIDEO AND  THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS TALK ABOUT ED AND CALORIE RESTRICTION!!

OMAHGAWWWD! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING ROTTEN IN THE INDUSTRY, Y’ALL!! (Okay, that’s obvious, but you don’t really give it thought in your day to day life.)

The video gives a summary of Jenette McCurdy’s time on iCarly and the horrors she’d been going through in her younger years, which included an eating disorder and restricting calories to an (alleged) 900. Dear lord, that is sickening.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCE1x_chT34

Granted, I would take this with a small grain of salt as it’s from the internet, and undoubtedly, many actresses, probably more than we realize, have ED’s. If they would start encouraging them to be at healthy weights, things like this wouldn’t happen. Frick Nickelodeon and frick the acting industry!! 

So, this was what I was trying to convey. Casting and producers need to find that middle ground. Don’t promote fact acceptance, but do not force your actors/actresses to be stick thin either.  I could go on a huge tangent, but I don’t have the brain power right now. If you have an ED or know someone that does, I strongly encourage you to get help. I’ve been in tight spots like that (I knew of people or knew people), but getting REAL help from a doctor, professional, or someone with a good head on their shoulders is better than hiding it or keeping it secret. Ten years down the line, you’ll be thankful you did and not have regret. No one is perfect, but sometimes you have to fight harder to find a solution and someone that will actually listen to you and take your concerns to heart. 

If I get negative comments, I’ll be deleting this and no one will be able to enjoy it. Think before you type and don’t be a jerk.

[opalai-pixel-witch]

Hi again human! ;v

I did some drawings, the little comic is based a bit in Kagerou days song ;v ;v

 https://sta.sh/22aj2xyaqwj3?edit=1

-

“Ahahaha! It’s kinda funny to imagine Death being a rich kid >o> It would be a great contrast to his actual situation in the game, where apparently he had a pretty low salary and probably had to resort to scamming people in order to get 295 shreds of life :P”

I wanted to put he was a trafficker and was doing well, but then I remember how the game insists with Sam´s wealth and the attention he’s been getting�� forever.

“Concerning Sam and Bjørn, I mainly just put them in the shoes of the horsemen that played opposite them”

Yeah, I understand it

I´m the type of person who liked research and think the things while looking the ceiling XD

“For Helga, I put her in as Famine instead of War because in the game she is super passionate about fighting and reeeally wants to go to Valhalla but she ended up going to Helheim instead, and she hates the work she’s supposed to do as she finds it super boring. So I tried to think of a similar thing with her as Famine–she really, really wanted to be War, but instead she’s in charge of a boring and bloodless death like starvation and she is not happy about it at all ;;=o=;;”

That´s a great explaination, I hadn’t thought of that :o

“honestly I do not like Sam’s GF at all, I think she is an abuser =____=”

I can´t hate a character has less lines than the main carácter and Sam technically doesn´t talk XD

I read your headcannons and I have some opinions with:

“Irresponsible and lazy as he might have been, Sam actually has a decent moral compass”

To me, Sam has the personalities of Kuzco from emperor’s new Groove and Jesper from Klaus, they were both spoiled children from day one

Before the incident Sam wasn´t a good person and the game tells us that with words and with the backgrounds, imagine living with a guy doesn’t like do things, he has had butlers his whole life, the next would have been Lindsay

“Milky is a time-travelling future version of Sam”

Milky is diferent to Sam in voice, in the shape of his head, the shape of his nose, even its color is different

And Sam had two skeletons in his car and Milky was sorprised when he discover were two horsemen; and why Sam would change his name XD

(It´s ok, this is only my opinión ;)

But he could be a future Sam´s son, and Sam told him about a skeleton with a sweater and hat, and his son loves the paranormal and when he had the chance, he travel back in time and on his way, saw Pesto and follow her

To me, Milky is another character who is a paranormal investigator ;)

This is my fav X3 :

“Death’s romantic interest in War may seem more on the shallow side, but he actually really loves her—everything about her. He loves spending every second with her that he can and supports her in all her passions, and he worries a lot about whether she’ll leave him for Famine or Pesto or anyone else.”

And he respect her, there is an example in Greed comic, where he wish to Satan revoke the smoke ban to make War happy, and after she thanked him, he doesn´t followed her, he respect her space

I love that page X3 ♥

--------

Hello again, fellow human ^_^ …or are you secretly a skeleton too? >o>

The new drawings look amazing, as always! I think it’s interesting how you replicate the PP art style o: The comic and about Death is so sad though…poor War ;;A;; Famine’s seriously just standing there, even Pesto’s in shock and she wasn’t really friends with Death either, what the hell Famine >_>

Yeah, that sorta thing does seem more up Death’s alley, buuut…it probably wouldn’t make him end up with seven shreds :P Considering they’re equivalent to the quality of your life rather than how much money you’ve had in that life, it would make more sense for a spoiled brat to have more than a trafficker >.>

And then you have me, a more simple person |D

I just don’t like her because she went straight to hitting people with glass bottles…I mean, not wanting to continue a relationship is totally understandable, but you could just say “I’m leaving you” and go, and maaayyybe slap them in the face??? A slap isn’t gonna concuss someone (I probably just don’t like her because back when I first got into MS I had a huge crush on Sam for some reason -_-)

Ah, I see o: What I meant was even though he’s super lazy and spoiled he wouldn’t go out of his way to do bad things like some other people, I feel like the beginning of the game didn’t give us enough of a look into Sam’s personality to really determine anything…but they probably didn’t intend for me to want to look further, I’m just someone who likes to dig deeper when it comes to personality and such |D

I admit, that one was a stretch :P If we’re talking voice actors, War had a different voice actor in Helheim Hassle as well, so I’m not so sure if we could dismiss it just because of that. A future son of Sam is interesting too though, or I was thinking that if it’s not Sam it could be a long-lost twin brother or something…I guess we’ll see if PP will tell us about it in the next game >o> I was under the impression that “Milky” was just a codename though. I mean, if they’re saying each others’ actual names, then the person called “Bat-Dung” is rather…unfortunate >A<

Yeah, it seems like he always does what he think would make her happy ♡

[lloronista]

tagged by @koukenkage and @malignedaffairs  💕💕

Rules: Answer the 11 questions you were asked, write 11 questions and tag 11 people. (idk if i can think of 11 Qs again sorry!)

Qs from Koukenkage:

1. What did you want to become as a grown up when you were a child? The main two professions I was obsessed with as a kid were ballerina and veterinarian 

2. Is there a big dream that you had to give up to achieve your goals? Do you regret it? I guess I’m sort of still slowly sacrificing one dream for a more realistic goal, in that I chose to pursue studying literature instead of writing fiction for my master’s program. It’s not that I don’t love literary analysis, or that this choice makes it impossible for me to find time to write stories on the side, but I do sometimes regret not following my heart more closely and instead playing it safer career-wise. I’m literally in the process of writing my thesis and taking my graduate exam next term and yet I still sometimes wonder if it’s not too late to switch over to the creative writing program lol 

3. Is there a book/a movie that you’ve loved but couldn’t read or watch again? Black Swan, Grave of the Fireflies, and The Flowers of War are a couple films I really like but don’t feel the need to watch more than once haha. I also really enjoyed reading the Harry Potter series when I was younger but I doubt I’ll ever want to re-read the books tbh

4. If you could be someone else for 24 hours, who would that be? I know this is really “middle school” of me, but I am genuinely curious what it would be like to live as a cis-gendered man for a day. I don’t have a specific person in mind tbh xD

5. You can get your dream job in exchange for ten years of your life, do you accept? I probably would lol

6. A meteorite is to destroy the earth in 24h, what do you do for dinner tonight? The rest of my leftover mac & cheese in the fridge so I can leave this world without unfinished business weighing on me

7. You can revive one human being, no matter how long ago they died, who do you choose? Someone of your family? Siddhārtha Gautama? Homer? Shakespeare? Jesus christ? Be wild (or not). I feel like the wisest thing to do would be to let the dead rest and not meddle in such a way xD however, if I had to choose someone, I’d want to bring back Gloria Anzaldúa. Her poetry and essays have inspired so many, and she had wanted to write so much more before her untimely death, so I wish she had more time on earth to see her ambitions made into reality ;o; 

8. You can make one thing disappear from existence, what do you choose? (It has to be something concrete, not a concept, like the flue is okay, but not the concept of disease.) myself lol actually you know what, PLEASE make the rats disappear from my workplace, I hate being in that building you can literally hear their tiny rat feet scuttling within the walls

9. You wake up in the body of Quasimodo, what is your first thought? My back feels more messed up than usual 

10. You are going on an adventure of unknown nature, but you are allowed to choose a fictional character to accompany you, who are you going to choose and why? Shisui!! I’m so predictable, I know xD But who wouldn’t want a travel companion as wise and strong and brave as him? (Itachi is so lucky to go on missions with him~)

11. You fall deeply in love with someone, then realize that this person has done something horrible that goes against all your principles, and you know that you’ll think of it every time you see them. What do you do? I just wouldn’t love them anymore I guess. I’ve been in the position before where I was head-over-heels for someone who I realized was not a good person, nor did they treat me well. It would take some time for me to fully move on, but I’d wean myself from those feelings eventually. We can’t control who we become infatuated with, but I don’t want to love someone deeply if I can’t admire them and be proud of who they are

Qs from Malignedaffairs:

1. If you won a million dollar tomorrow, what would you do? Fund the rest of my education so I can get my doctorate eventually, and move into a nice apartment near the city ;v; 

2. What made you fall in love with your first love? His eyes were beautiful, and he was a musician. Looking back on that period of my life is kinda embarrassing though, I definitely was not wise about the people I had crushes on

3. What are your favourite scents? the interiors of coffee shops and bakeries, lemon, cinnamon, burning brush

4. The most extraordinary food you ever tried? How did you like it? I’ve had some really spectacular sushi at this Japanese restaurant near my campus, but probs my favorite I’ve ever had there is this coconut shrimp & mango roll :O

5. Which person of your family do you feel closest to and why? My younger brother and I have always been really close, due to not being far apart in age, but also because of how we endured a lot of abuse together throughout our childhood. We’re also both pretty introverted, and so have mostly just had each other for friends haha

6. Which person of your family do you feel the least close to and why? My dad’s entire side of the family tbh. I don’t even really view them as my relatives anymore

7. What creative activity do you enjoy? Lately my main creative outlet has been writing poetry 

8. Is there any feature/phenomenon/characteristic of another culture you would like to permanently have access to/incorporate in your own culture or home country? I believe I read somewhere once that teachers/educators in Sweden are greatly valued and paid well, since it’s widely understood in Swedish culture that teachers’ contributions in nurturing the minds of their youths are invaluable in society. I reeeally wish we could adopt that view in American culture, it’s honestly embarrassing how ineffective public education is becoming here and how little teachers here get paid

9. How did your best moment of today look like? I got to come home from work and finally get some rest

10. How do you usually reward yourself? with sweets!

11. What’s your eye colour and how do you like it? I really like my brown eyes :P

[strawberriestyles]

2017 Writing Reflection

My honey bun @bribe-the-door tagged me. Thank you, Han!!! Xo

i. List of works published this year: ‘Warmth’ from my The 100 writing and then everything else that’s not on that masterlist!

ii. Work you are most proud of (and why): From the writing that I’ve posted, it’s gotta be ‘Shakespeare.’ I was very confident while writing and posted it, and y’all really gave me all the love for that story. Also See Yeh Break.

iii. Work you are least proud of (and why): Mmmmm. I really don’t like the ending of the ‘Mess o’ Mine’ series. It just felt very safe and anticlimactic and I’m not a fan. Also that Zarry threesome. 👀

iv. A favorite excerpt of your writing: (From ‘Mouth o’ Mine’)

It’s a Friday—technically Saturday since it’s nearly two A.M.—and you’re clean from the shower, snuggled on the couch in some pajama pants and a tank top with a glass of wine. You’ve been watching some of your favorite eighties movies as a sort of self-prescribed method of relaxation. It feels nice, a distraction from your thoughts. You’re just giggling at some cheesy joke when the doorbell rings—and then rings again, and again, and again in quick succession.

You pause your movie and set your glass down on the table, frustrated at the intrusion. The cool air of the apartment raises goosebumps on your arms, and a chill runs up your spine when a gust of wind rushes through the door as you open it. Your heart falls into the depths of your stomach.

“Harry.”

“Y/N,” he says with a smile, a bit more cheerful than you would expect. “Hullo. Wanted t’ see yeh.”

“It’s two in the morning,” you inform him, jaw setting. He’s not getting into the flat this time, not unless there’s a discussion that settles all the questions you’ve had.

“’S it really?” He glances down at a bare wrist and chuckles to himself, leaning against the door frame. “’M not wearin’ a watch. Thought I was.”

Your mouth deepens into a frown. His voice is drawling even more than usual, and when he looks back up at you with another chuckle, you can smell beer on his breath.

“Harry, are you drunk?”

“’M pissed,” he corrects you with a little stumble forward. You catch him with a hand to his chest and help lean him against the door frame again, a sigh making its way from your lips.

“Why are you here? And how did you get here?”

“Walked.” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, swaying just slightly.

“Jesus, Harry. You could’ve been hit by a car or something.”

“I like walkin’. Can I come in?”

You pause, long enough for Harry to open his eyes again and stare at you silently. The happy silliness has been drained from his system now, which means he’s crossed the line into Serious Drunk Harry.

v. Share or describe a favorite comment you received. Well there are the constant comments from @rhi3915 about how she’d buy my work no matter what it was about. She’s never failed to hype me up and support me and I loooove her. @babyhoneyed has also complimented my dialogue a few times WHICH MAKES ME SO HAPPY I LOVE A HOE. And then I’ve gotten a few anons telling me that I’m good at grounding readers in the setting and that just makes me :’)). Thank y’all.

vi. A time when writing was really, really hard: This whole last semester I was pretty unhappy and lazy and didn’t wanna do AnYtHinG. I also hadn’t really planned much for my full fics so I wasn’t sure where they were going and that made writing very difficult.

viii. How did you grow as a writer this year? I learned not to give up on something if I don’t like it!! Take a break, read something, come back to it. Figure out what you don’t like and then fix it, just don’t give up.

ix. How do you hope to grow next year? I’d like to learn to be more proud of my work and doubt myself less.

x. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or muse etc etc)? I’ve said it a billion times and I’ll say it again. No one has been nearly as influential in my writing (I wouldn’t even be writing Harry fic if I wasn’t for her) as @permanentcross. I found her very early in the year and read through nearly her entire masterlist in a week. It was beautiful and moving and made me laugh and cry and coo and reeeally made me wish that I was experiencing the things she wrote. A fic has never made me as emotional as Snowbound. She’s just a blessing to this hellsite, and even if she’s not posting writing anymore, we’re still so lucky to have her beautiful presence with us.

xi. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? Mmmm a few things in ‘Shakespeare.’ Dr. Glasser is based off one of my own professors and there were poems, etc. that I injected into the story.

xii. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers? JUST KEEP WRITING. SERIOUSLY. EVEN IF YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT OR YOU THINK IT’S SHIT, JUST PUT DOWN A SENTENCE A DAY. WRITE THE SYNOPSIS FOR A STORY IDEA YOU HAD. SCRIBBLE OUT A LINE OF DIALOGUE THAT CAME TO MIND. SUMMARIZE A SITUATION YOU WANNA WRITE EVENTUALLY. JUST KEEP WRITING.

xiii. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? SOOOO MANY. Brutality is my first project. Then we’ve got Baccara and Beneath the Tide. My Billy Russo fic, some HP pieces. (I also lowkey just started a Prince Harry AU which I shouldn’t have even started 👀)

xiv. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read. @latelatenarry // @looselucy // @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy

[nolifepoints]

N for the fandom ask meme!

Haha, i was confused for a minute because I forgot which meme I posted, and I immediately interpreted this as being about N from Pokemon. I was like, “Well, it’s not YuGiOh, but I do love some Natural Harmonia Gropius…”

Anyway. xD

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

1. More love for rarepairs, especially poly ships and femslash. I reeeally love poly content, but even if it’s an alignment of several really popular ships, there’s usually very little art or fic. 

And, well. I love... girl........ *lies down* Fandom is kind of one of the only spaces I get to engage with my sexuality in, and YGO is my main fandom right now. But femslash is so much less popular in a general sense, and I’m doubly cursed because I’m not very into a lot of possible YGO femslash combinations. I get kind of uncomfortable with large age gaps, and the number of girls who are relatively close in age and actually interact in this show is. Not high. At all. So basically I long for femslash, but I need someone to take a similarly aged rarepair and make me believe it. :v

2. More love for minor characters and deeper explorations of characters who didn’t get enough screentime or who weren’t fleshed out enough. Especially when they’re allowed to be complex people dealing with the emotional fallout of everything that happened in this wild ride of a canon.

3. Monster fanart. I honestly don’t see that much! I could go looking for it more, of course... it’s out there... but still. More is always good. Especially Scapegoat. And monster ladies. :v

[zenscrotch]

Do you have a wish list of things (like, features) you'd like to see implemented into MM? Other than the sin we all wish for. I feel some stuff might add more realism into the game - for example, let MC send her own selfies into the chat, maybe from pre-selected options and depending what picture you send at any specific moment you win hearts with people... Like a flirty pic would win you hearts with Zen or a goofy one would win you hearts with 707 (for example). What would you like to see?

I know I took my sweet time, buuut I actually really like this question! And I like your idea - if they limited the choices to a few specific moments where you can send pics (and to a limited set of pictures, each with a specific “intention”), it might not be too overwhelming to draw + program ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)The kind of things I’d like to see implemented are similar to what you proposed - anything improving immersion and providing variants a player would think of trying. Here are a few things that come to mind:1) More interaction and alternate branches during the VN segments. I’d love to be able to propose how to spend time together when I’m with a character. There wouldn’t be any need to make the “date” super long, but it would be cool to go jog with Yoosung or play videogames with Zen or Jumin (I BET THEY BOTH SUCK). I’d just love to be able to pick options that put the characters out of their comfort zone (nothing they wouldn’t want to try, of course).This could fit well into a DLC like the V-day one, where the focus is on the relationship rather than plot or character development.2) Extra lines of dialogue you only get if you mentioned a certain thing/selected a specific reply option in the previous days. Like the character bringing up something you have mentioned before because they “remember” (super uninteresting generic example: the characters acknowledging you’re a student if you mentioned it before as one of your early replies during common route).

3) I brought this up with friends and someone suggested “Dick pics, for real tho” and I swear it WASN’T ME lol. But yeah, since we’re on topic, I wouldn’t mind spicier segments/scenes - IF they make sense in the general plot. I wouldn’t want sexy times out of the blue. Of course the rating is what it is, but the V-day DLC was spicier than expected in a couple routes, and I reeeally appreciated that 👌I’d love to hear more opinions and ideas on this!

[queenangst]

A-Z 😂

unanswered: a, c, d, e, f, j, if anyone wants to ask me those (fanfic ask meme)

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Not particularly. The one I probably most closely relate to/poured my heart + personal feelings and experiences into is Unsung.

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Mostly start to finish! Sometimes, I’m hit by scenes, so I’ll write those.

H: How would you describe your style?

poetic

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

i never really feel guilty about any of it so no?

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

they’re awful fics but uh, there’s one called shivering souls and the spirits of the dead oh that ones real fun, solangelo angst. before solangelo was canon. lol called it

familiar is pretty sad i guess i dunno

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

usually none. i kind of edit as i go, but it’s mostly “fuck it”

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

plenty. mostly for voltron: - blackup au- hvz klance (yikes) au [if you dont know thats humans vs zombies]- soulsense allance au (a soulmate au ft senses, too much to explain but.)- druid lance aua ton more but those are a few vld onesand then i have two wips for ml:- sequel to unsung- a post-reveal fic tentatively titled The Ladyvlog in which Ladybug and Chat run a YouTube channel and tease fans about their relationships

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?\

ugh, all of them

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

uh, plot

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

gardener, but sometimes i do have little ideas of where to go

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

I WOULD LOVE TO COLLABORATE. SUCCESSFULLY. someone hmu please

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

yes!!! HecateA from ffnet is always a writer i think of

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

what are tropes even, uh, Sharing a Bed, Hurt/Comfort, Presumed Death, Actual Death Probably, Do These Count

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

like, all the Sex ones, you know them, i know them,,

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

nooo i have so many? 

@bananannabeth dearest ashlee is not only a wonderful person but a wonderful writer and i just!!! i love reading her fics so much and being immersed in them. like i’m there, and i can see their faces, writing is just so!! nice

@hecatea i mentioned earlier but hecate!!!!!! oh my goodness i could talk forever and i have before but. they got me into fandom. they inspired me to write. and their writing is like, it’s always so beautiful and i always feel it. 

@maychorian gen fics??? blessed. great writing?? blessed. just?? everything

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

ohh this is a good one. i would love to write.. idk but i read a merlin fic recently called In the Shadow of Kings that i reeeally enjoyed, and i’d love to see a Magic Reveal because isn’t that what we all want,

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

specific!

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

do you need to ask

Y: A character you want to protect.

do you need to ask

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

yes,, and hunk

[waspalisades]

guess who binged video essays and cant sleep until she expresses herself

im inspector overshare and im here to examine a cold case......my middle school shame fandom ive since buried under a bunch of other interests since then and try not to think about but lately ive been thinking abt it a lot??? bc the Thing is hetalia (or more correctly/uncomfily known as axis powers: hetalia) like...objectively it wasnt a great show. the eps were 5min long, so any moments of like, emotional depth or real weight are v short if they happen at all. the whole premise of the characterization is based on stereotypes, very explicitly. a lot of awful stuff became wacky hijinks, and the focus on the west meant that even a show feat. exactly one character for every country lacked diversity. plus the art style was so....it was reeeally ugly. even while i was still really invested, after a while i just felt embarrassed actually watching the show. it didnt feed me. the FANDOM, however, had a vast array of media attributed to it, most of which deviated massively from canon. these people created a horror game, multi-volume novels only loosely tied to the show (with fandom in-jokes just so you remember who these complex characters are supposed to stand in for), took the creators alternate color schemes for the characters and made a dystopian alternate interpretation of the whole universe--nothing was off the table. i got turned off of the fic and art that resembled the style and conventions of the actual show. i preferred ~human AUs~ where they were not immortals; here age differences matter, they had real person names, and the nationality of each character was a factor in their personality without being its defining trait. i still remember all the fic i inhaled in the middle of the night on my phone, all the animations and playlists and doujinshi. it was also my first real look at a positive depiction of gay love and one of my windows into discovering that about myself. people did things with these flat characters that made them compelling and morally ambiguous by examining actual history, or they made them redeemable, regular people you could do more than just laugh at as a stereotype. i made a few online friends this way because i loved their art or writing, and they inspired me to make some of my own. i got this dream of directing a miniseries adaptation of the works of george devalier. the collaborative writing of the various rp groups and indies i had here on this website even got me to try my hand at .html so my /blog/ would look nice. i have to credit so many of my creative efforts to this show i cant even watch anymore! and now im actually in europe, seeing the countries made into generic personas i had some formative crushes on when i was 14. worlds apart in pretty much every way. its really weird. i havent thought of the show in so long, but im in a military history museum reading abt the wars of austrian secession and a ghost from my past replays the dub blooper where prussia like...he jumps up behind a castle wall screaming "MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL ZE BOY" and its like marley rattling his chains right in my ears all the reader insert fic i read...wrote....jesus christ i shouldnt be embarrassed that i loved something so much it made me want to produce creative content. but god i just wish it had been a show good on its own without the intercession of better-informed creators than the original ones