#but I started going to the vet in 2021 and if no one talked to me about vaccines I feel like that's partly on them

[kurokoros]

Well, the adoption agency denied me for *checks notes* not regularly getting my indoor only cat updated on his vaccines and rehoming the kitten I adopted because I realized very quickly that I wouldn't be able to meet his energy needs.

If this cat I applied to adopt is still with their foster family--who they've been with since August--when I leave Chicago in June, I'm going to be pissed. Shelters, maybe, just maybe, you can't get your cats adopted because of your ridiculous standards and high adoption prices.

[hole34]

“pull yourself up by your bootstraps” is a sham.

nearly 80% of all owned american wealth is generational. prices rise while the working class’ salaries are cut, and you can’t make any profit if you’re not at the top, which you can’t do without radical exploitation of others.

I was born into a middle class life. my mom went though a lot of different jobs, most that she really liked, and we lived with my grandmother who was still working at the time. My dad was around a lot, he hadn’t become a fucking nazi yet, he had a good job and was supportive.

It slowly went downhill from there.

As my dad was treading down the conservative-to-nazi pipeline and become more paranoid, less supportive, my mom wasn’t always making enough money because her jobs became unnecessary to newer society and it was harder to find sustainable jobs, and my grandmother had to quit working because she started developing dementia. my mom worked at a UPS factory for some time before quitting because of the unworkable conditions and treatment, and her last option at that point in time was to work at the Amazon factory. she worked 7-9, one of my friends’ parents took care of me mosts nights. my mom was constantly overworked, often injured, and paid barely enough to keep us living. when covid-19 hit she was one of the first to get laid off, so all of our income came from my half-assing dad and the bare minimum from the government.

i starting developing depression around this time but we couldn’t afford or access actual mental health care, so my mom treated me with CBD oil and pot (which was still illegal in our state) she got from the only friend that continued to support our family. more and more.

i don’t remember most of 2021, it was all a blur but the one thing that will always replay in my mind is the day in november of 2021 when my mom kneeled down to me, looked me in the eyes and said

“lila, we don’t have enough money to live right now.”

i could tell things were getting weirder as time went on, but it was at this moment i realised nothing would ever be the same again. i broke down crying knowing the last years of my life at home would be spent struggling, unsupported and alone.

all the years since my mom and i have been living off of whatever money my mom can vet my father to give us, but it’s almost always a fight and almost always a no, he’s lost care for our wellbeing, and any other money has come from stuff my mom tries to sell to pawn shops. we’re on food stamps now, as fucking hard as they were to get, and we don’t really go anywhere anymore because we can’t afford it; at first it wad covid, then financially, than our home life.

my grandmother’s dementia got far worse, my mom (and myself to a lesser degree) has to take care of her full-time now, but she doesn’t get any government support for it because she obtaine power of attorney over my grama so we can still live in our house. my grandmother now is in post-awareness dementia which mentally and physically deprecating for my mom, a single mother with BPD, to take care of and it’s hell just to be in this house. fuck if you thought this was all though!

my mom was a child of 8, and she was the only one who took care of both her father, who died from ALS before my lifetime, and her crappy mother, so she still lived in her mother’s home and raised me in it. in her parents’ will however, it’s said once they both die the house will be sold and a portion of the money will be distributed to all 8 kids. that’s not enough money for my mom to live off of.

SO, my mom talked to her siblings in May of 2022 and discussed our living situation, asking for legal right to the house once their mother is gone because she’ll have no where else to live and she’s been the unpaid caretaker of both of her disabled parents since they day they needed care. but, her siblings, all of which have sustainable lives, homes and jobs, said no because they don’t care about my mom or grandma, just the shitty money they’ll inherit. there was no way of knowing when my grandma was going to pass and we wouldn’t be able to move either (my dad wouldn’t financially support it), so my mom filed a civil lawsuit on all of her siblings.

exactly two years later and we’re still in the lawsuit. nothing has changed.

aside from all the mental torture and stress the lawsuit has caused - my mom has PTSD from being abused and r*ped by the brother that’s head of the apposing side - nothing has gotten better no matter how much ANY of us do. i work now, for barely anything, and we’ve gotten a little bit more bottom-of-the-barrel government support, but it still manages to get worse. no familial support, barely any from my dad, whom of which has become mildly abusive, but can’t risk to cut ties with or else we will have absolutely no one. my mom’s sold everything valuable she had, she’s even begged for money. we don’t always have heating, we don’t always have electricity, we don’t always have food, and god fucking forbid any day we come across the police. i get by stealing energy drinks and period products, dirt money when i can, and just trying to keep my mom going and not killing herself

we can’t fucking pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, we’re already treated as barely human now being in the low class.

[xiaoluclair]

hello okay i've seen you reblog 4433 posts so this is my invite for you to go fully incoherent rambling about why you love 4433 pretty please?

okay so i sure as hell ain't a vet but i Am intrigued invested enamored hopelessly sinking and it goes like This:

ONE. racer4racer ruthless4ruthless champion4champion. yall heard lewis talk about booing?? it just fuels me 💪💪. yall heard max? i'll just take my trophy home and they can have a nice evening ☺️. the objective energies are a SPECTRUM apart. but then you look a little deeper and Yeah, that's. thats a champion there and champion there.

alexa play monza 2021 silverstone 2021 jeddah 2021 interlagos 2022. in other words: racing other people?? yeah, fine. Can Do, no Problemo. racing each other? explosion Noises.

i.e. u know the phrase Opposites Attract? well. Yeah . onto

TWO. Opposites! e.g. Agendas (for lack of a better word.) max will kneel, will speak when spoken to. but give that kid the choice and he aint sayin a word. he is there to Race and have Laffs why u askin me about my political stance on cheese 🙄😒. lewis on the other more vocal hand Will Speak Out. prbly maybe it traces back to their childhoods, but im not getting into that Particular thing bc its too heavy for this and im not about to make it into a joke, So. yeah, the way they view their own Purpose within fame, the way max Wouldnt bc he thinks hes too small, insignificant in worldwide change, doesnt believe he can do Much for those larger social issues, then lewis doing so many things bc he might not alter the globe singlehandedly but he wants to be part of that smth Bigger. and no that is Not me saying max doesnt have a heart or doesnt want to help bc we've seen him raise donations and be Kind and condemn people for their shitiness. i just think, Opposites.

keeping with the seriousness: yall ever seen max wear smth not white and jeaned other than his racesuit and swim trunks?? MAYBE i can give him the singular fucking bowtie. lewis? ur catchin him suckin of the w14 before u catch him in that shit (Affectionate).

and to their hearts: both of them, who race to win, to be the fastest, to take home the trophy, to feed that fire as it burns on the track, to make their fathers proud. and then: lewis, who lives with faith, who races with God, who want to break records. max, who lives against superstition, who races with gut, who wants to rest. so Yeah. Opposites.

nYway,

THREE. i realize i havent actually touched much on their actual Dynamic HEE, so like. theyre fukin . miscroscope-worthy. in that they should be Studied. intently. i Cant with the whole, the whole Thing they have like. yeah no theyre not Best Buds or anythin but they Have been amicable. acquaintances. Rivals. and there is no fucking way im feeling Nuthin about two men racing with the Sole Focus of beating the other. first, thats 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈YYY!!! second, that is Everything. who tf is feeling what either of them are feeling going into abu dhabi 21. who Else is putting down his visor knowing its Make or Break. who else is sinking into their cockpit pulling up at the starting line exhaling into their helmet as they watch the lights go out knowing its Now. its there, for Me or Him. its pinned in the center of Us right in the middle, could tip either way. who else, if not each other???? who ELSE I ASK!! also when tf did it happen before that two f1 title rivals went into the final race on equal points??? once?? idk but the Point is, theres two fuckin people (or close to) in the entire World who've been There, only one person who knows how you couldve truly Felt in ur Soul, hands on the steering wheel foot on the gas, has felt it too and hes sitting to ur left, takin a fuckin selfie of u both like sum social media Diva. smfh.

FOUR! they Actually get along???? like ik to some poople theyre tryna Kill each other 25/8 but dawg i think about tom sharing that lil story abt max asking lewis about his hair all the fucking Time its so Unhealthy i need More. n less often but still deserves Stage Time: lewis saying This Guy, this Fucking guy, and max calling him out on it right there on the podium. lewis showing max shit on his phone, makin him goddamn Giggle. the two of them just Joking Around, idk i think its Sweet. that they Can be okay, yknow, even with all the head to head (head 👀) shit they drove each other to in 21.

FIVE: the misc things! i.e. theyre no1s theyve both fucking Dominated the field. who else has on the current grid, i hear? No Fucking one. only Them. i.e. i think there is so much Potential. ik theyre so Different almost polar arctic antarctic north south but it warms my heart sm when theyre together Because of that. i.e. ik this post doesnt read quite so Shippy as it couldve but idk they make me feel More than that in a way bc theyre just so. Apart. and when they come together, it feels Monumental. plus the absolute Dawg the Cunt the 🧎🧎🧎 they can fit into a single photo:

.

Yeah .

[blowflyfag]

Pro Wrestling Illustrated: March 2024

AND NEW PAN-AFRIKAN WORLD DIASPORA WRESTLING CHAMPION … Suge D Topples A Reign Longer Than Roman’s

At 1,338 days, Trish Adora stood tall as the longest-tenured world titleholder recognized by PWI. NOW, her coveted title begins a bold, new era led by ambitious ring vet Suge D

TEXT BY KEVIN McELVANEY

PHOTOS BY JAYLEE MEDIA

“IF YOU SAID I could … if you said i couldn’t … thank you.” Thus reads a tweet by the newly crowned Suge D, composed the night he fulfilled a mission that even he thought might be impossible. Indeed, the veteran grappler–who proudly embraces the label “journeyman” after competing around the globe for two decades–had twice tried to unseat Trish Adora as the Pan-Afrikan World Diaspora Wrestling champion. On Sunday, October 15, 2023, he was finally successful in his third attempt..

“This is the real deal … and I feel like there's like such a weight and a responsibility to go with that, and I'm still letting it sink in,” Suge said, speaking with PWI a few days after likely the biggest win of his career. “(TWE Chattanooga champion) Darian Bengston called me the other day, saying, ‘I was talking to my friends, and it’s like, I wonder if it’s set in for Suge yet that he’s an actual world champion.’ By the time this makes print, no, it probably still hasn’t set in. But I totally get the responsibility.”

The gorgeous, green PAWD title belt Suge D grasps during our interview has become one of the most coveted prizes on the independent circuit since its February 2020 introduction. Commissioned by the District of Columbia-based F1ght Club Pro, the championship is meant to highlight Black wrestlers not just locally, but from all over the globe; to create opportunities in an industry that hasn’t always been kind to marginalized groups.

[Suge D and Trish Adora bridge up off the canvas, each attempting to outleverage the other. Nearby, Darius Carter prepares to put the boots to the two fan favorites.]

“Lucha libre is this authentic Mexican thing,” explains Suge D, by way of comparison. “It’s a Latin thing. And it can exist in its own realm and its own world, untouched by anything else that comes into it. They’ll allow some guests in. But you can have greats in lucha libre that have never touched American soil, and it’s all good. There’s a respect and a reverence for it–same thing with Japanese Wrestling. Once we start talking about the idea of Black wrestling doing the same thing, I feel like it kind of rubs people the wrong way. I’ve even seen people make comments about it, like, ‘Oh, that’s such a racist title.’ No, we’re just celebrating the cultural aspects of us as Black performers, African-American performers, Afro-Latino performers.” Suge adds that he wants wrestling fans of all backgrounds to enjoy the matches and stories on display.

[Darius Carter nails Suge with a blatant low blow during the triple-threat bout. Though he prefers to rely on his mat prowess, Carter is definitely not above taking such shortcuts.]

Though the March 2020 declaration of a global pandemic limited the title’s reach in its early days, inaugural Pan-Afrikan champion Trish Asdora defended it valiantly across the U.S. for the first two years of her reign.She ventured overseas as soon as she was able to do so–March 2022–retaining over Rhio and Mercedez Blaze on two consecutive nights at PROGRESS Wrestling. By that time, the coveted green belt was already seen as the provenance of a legitimate world champion, recognized as such by PWI the previous summer.

Like the IWTV Independent Wrestling World championship, which earned world-title status on the same day in August 2021, the Pan-Afrikan World Diaspora Wrestling crown was a traveling championship in the traditional sense. “The Afro Punk” put it up for grabs with regularity, pinning or submitting some of the toughest competition the U.S. had to offer: dynamic performers such as Big Swole, Janai Kai, Eel O’Neal, and Ashton Starr (to name a few). She memorably retained against MLW superheavyweight Calvin Tankman at GCW’s For The Culture 2023.

[Adora and Suge D know each other quite well, which resulted in another thrilling battle between the two.]

When Adora’s schedule became busier–competing for AEW and Ring of Honor, training at the NJPW Academy–her World title defenses became far less frequent. In October 2023, she faced her ultimate challenger at F1ght Club Pro’s “Thriller” show, battling Darius Carter and Suge D in the triple-threat main event.

The smug, ruthless Carter had never forgotten the disputed finish to an August 2021 title bout with Adora at New Jersey's We Are Wrestling. And the man who dubbed himself “Wrestling’s Richest Prize” was favored by many to go home with the championship on that fateful day two years later–perhaps even by the wrestler who ultimately left with the belt around his waist. “Darius Carter is a terrible man,” admitted Suge D. “But he’s a great wrestler.”

Carter was prematurely taken out of the fight by Eel O'Neal, who attempted to cash in a “wild card” title shot during the scheduled triple-threat. An altercation between the two erstwhile allies allowed the championship to be decided between Suge D and Trish Adora. The fan favorites each showed off their mat prowess, trading pinning combinations until, finally, it was the challenger who pinned the champ’s shoulders to the mat for a three-count.

“I’m not just saying this because she and I have become close friends: I think the world of her. She’s a one-of-one,” Suge says of Adora. “There’s a tenacity about her and goal-making. She’ll write down what she wants and fixate on what it’s going to take to make these things happen. She goes out there and tries every door, every lock, every key to unlock those doors and get where she’s going. If it isn’t enough, she will go back and rewrite that list, fixate, and then try to top that list.”

Trish Adora is a tough act to follow. Twenty years into his career, Suge D now faces a barrage of potential challengers–all of whom want to defeat him and become world champion. This is a prize, after all, that has become world champion. This is a prize, after all, that has been spoken of with reverence by independent and contracted wrestlers alike; one mentioned on ROH TV by wrestler-commentator Caprice Coleman (someone Suge holds in high regard and would be happy to grant a title shot.)

[Carter became incensed when his Best Business Bureau ally, Eel O’Neal, attempted to cash in a guaranteed title shot during the match.]

To his credit, Suge D welcomes the onslaught of contenders. “There are great talents at Battle Club Pro, ACTION Wrestling, West Coast Pro, Naptown, Glory Pro, Asé Wrestling.”he says. “You literally could have a super-indie right now and just book it with Black talent and still be able to have two, three, or four more drafts of a show with completely different talent, and it’s all good.”

[New Pan-Afrikan World Diaspora champ Suge D poses with inaugural titleholder Trish Adora and F1ght Club promoter Jonny X backstage.]

On the U.S. indie circuit, Suge singles out heavy hitters including Bryan Keith, Camaro Jackson, and Arik Royal, along with Joseline Navarro (his first confirmed challenger), as those he’d like to see get a chance at the Pan-Afrikan World championship. In the U.K., he cites the work of Roy Johnson, whose “Everything Patterned events put Black wrestlers in the spotlight: British veteran Warren Banks, recent IMPACT signee Leon Slater, and possible opponents. Then, there’s Zombie Dragon, who competes and helps train grapplers for China’s Middle Kingdom Wrestling. Suge praises Dragon’s aesthetic and in-ring abilities, expressing interest in a possible international matchup.

It’s obvious that the new champ wants to emphasize the global nature of the Pan-Afrikan World Diaspora title. Of course, he’ll have to work hard not to lose it to another determined athlete along the way.

“You know, I’m a wrestling nerd at heart,” Suge D reflects. “When we have these conversations about PWI, I was deep in those magazines, reading the international section and finding out all this other stuff. With social media, I want to know more about everybody that’s out there, and I want to be able to connect us. If Trish was the foundation of this championship, I'm trying to pave the streets that lead to this house, so that we can have a community. So, whether they come to me or I gotta go out there to find them, that’s what I'm gonna do.”

[skyward-floored]

Do you have any idea how tempted I was to just copy paste the entire list of fics? ANYWAYS-

“The Time & Legend whumptober continuation” :D

“Various Incredibles au “oneshots” :)

“An original zelda idea l've been messing with” XD

The Time and Legend Whumptober continuation

Ohhh this is my evilest wip, I went absolutely ham on the angst in this guy. It’s a continuation of a whumptober I wrote in 2021, and a lot of people really wanted a continuation.

So I started out writing just a short thing, but then it grew, and grew and grew and grew and now I have over 13k of this fic in which everyone has a very very very bad time. I was working on it a little today actually :)

“That’s... going to b-be a problem,” he rasps, and Time helps him shift into a better position, where he ends up leaning heavily on the old man’s shoulder with a bitten-back groan.

Time takes one look at Legend’s bad arm and realizes it’s merely dislocated, rather than broken like he originally feared. He runs a careful hand over the veteran’s arm and shoulder, and Legend bites back a whine.

“F-fix it,” he bites out, and Time sighs.

“Vet you’ve got other more pressing injuries, we should bandage them before we try to—”

“Please,” Legend whispers, and the lack of snark immediately convinces Time. A long, measured breath escapes his mouth, and he changes his position, holding Legend’s arm down as he prepares to slot it back into place.

Various Incredibles au oneshots

Once again, going to put this under a cut because this post would be very long without it :)

These are lots of little bits and ficlet things that will probably one day become oneshots, but for now are just little ideas I write down that I don’t want to forget. Some are more put together than others though, such as the one this bit is from!

“I don’t know if we can make it across that,” Warriors said uneasily, squinting at the rain that blocked their view. “The river rose fast...”

“If we don’t cross now though, we might not be able to get back for some time,” Artemis replied, her eyes still bright with worry.

They exchanged looks again, then Warriors grabbed an umbrella, and got out of the car.

“Link, don’t do anything foolish,” Artemis warned, then also got out of the car, following after him to where he stood by the bank of the river.

“I’m not doing anything foolish, I’m just seeing if we’ll be able to get across,” Warriors refuted, then handed her the umbrella. “Here, I’m going to get a closer look.” Then he paused and handed her his scarf as well, putting it around her shoulders with a grin. “Don’t get it wet.”

“Be careful,” Artemis warned, and Warriors gave her a cocky grin before stepping out from the shelter of the umbrella, near immediately getting soaked.

An original zelda idea I’ve been messing with

I’ve mentioned this one a handful of times, but the basic gist is that the Link in this story (I call him Lost) gets corrupted by the bad guy (Vaati im thinking). It’s up to Zelda to travel across Hyrule and discover the identities of the six sages in order to stop the villain and un-corrupt Link, who functions similarly to Ghirahim in that he’s actively hunting her and has to be fought multiple times.

I’ve written bits of it now and then just to play with ideas, but I don’t know if it’ll ever be a real “fic”. Either way, I like talking about it, and I’ve even designed some characters and things :)

Here’s one of the parts I’ve written!

Zelda took a slow breath in, steeling herself for the words about to come out of Impa’s mouth.

“The Hero has been corrupted.”

The room went into an uproar but Zelda barely heard it, biting her lip so hard it nearly drew blood. Link, her best friend, and really only friend aside from Impa, had been twisted into little more then a puppet for Ambassador Vaati to use as he pleased.

She felt distantly like she was going to throw up.

“—doesn’t even have the blade! Are we certain the boy is the hero?” one of her councilors boomed, “for all we know Vaati merely created a lookalike of our best knight to frighten us! Are we even certain the boy is still ali—”

“That’s quite enough,” Impa said sternly, then placed a hand on Zelda’s shoulder. “We have firsthand reports of what happened. Captain Link is who has been corrupted.”

[uighean]

grabbing this from @galacticlamps bc I am nothing if not narcissus staring into a pond ig!!

What book are you currently reading?

I've just picked war and peace back up after ditching it for a couple months!! I'm like. a quarter of the way through ahjgfkdg. getting there.

What's your favourite movie you saw in a cinema this year?

god I think the last thing I saw at the cinema was the broadcast of a coldplay concert?? (which was rlly good & I do need to pick up the dvd. like. I need to own footage of people of the pride being performed live thank you) but I have NO idea what I saw at the cinema before that omg. definitely nothing this year

What do you usually wear?

if I'm out, then a kilt + button-up shirt/tshirt + knee-high socks + docs. maybe a waistcoat or leather jacket if it's a bit colder

How tall are you?

5'3"ish! I am. small.

What's your star sign?

pisces! I don't care about zodiac stuff at all but I do think it's funny that there's sailors + fishermen on both sides of my family, my star sign is a fish, and yet I get terribly seasick

Do you share your birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

I mean probably but I also share my birthday with my fav animal crossing villager & that's worth more to me than any celebrity tbh

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

just by my name! I've never really been one for nicknames.

Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a child?

absolutely not haha. think I kinda talked about this in some tags the other day but I wanted to be a vet right up until I was in late high school/starting uni, & then it all just. dried up. have wound up working in museum collections management & I love it!!!

Are you in a relationship? Who is your crush if not?

yes!!! with @ettelwenailinon ❣️💕💞💓

What's something you're good at versus something you're bad at?

ogufjkdh I am clean out of ideas for this one so I'm gonna say. I'm the gay who can drive and also the gay who can't cook <3

Dogs or cats?

cats, 100%. dogs are cute (& I have a massive soft spot for enormous female dogs who are terrified of everything) but I wouldn't own one. but at the end of the day I am a horse person over everything

What's something you'd like to create content for?

hmm idk!! I think I'm already """"creating content"""" for everything I want to be tbh. I would like to actually learn how to draw but not necessarily anything specific, you know

What's something you're currently obsessed with?

well if you've been around my blog lately you might have picked up on the fact that I'm a little obsessed with holding achilles right now. like, watching it all the way through every day obsessed whoops.

(I need to sit down and actually write out my notes on it bc I have a LOT of thoughts but that's going to inevitably end with me making actual spreadsheets. of recurring motifs and when they crop up. rn I want to figure out all the references to prophecy vs promises (there's an overarching meta in my head about like. the way achilles and patroclus relate to death and responsibility, respectively, and how that drives their dynamic/the plot), but also all the different ways their relationship is defined/described by themselves and others? and how that relates to how ultimately what they want is to be unknown, and the kind of. queer idea of being undefinable. I'm being SO normal about all this if you can't tell)

tbh it's thrown me back into greek mythology in general. I have been watching so many greek god vine compilations & they all absolutely send me

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

eurovision.................. god the songs this year are so. there's a handful of ones that are pretty good but so many are just boring pop songs. take me back to 2021. I'm hinging my entire sanity on kalush orchestra's winner's performance tbh that's going to be the highlight of the night

What's a hidden talent of yours?

ok I said I'm the gay I can't cook but the one thing I can make is potatoes. I do really good mashed/roast potatoes. mutuals you are invited over for this

Are you religious?

nope! my family's never been religious for as long as I've been alive, and I just. don't believe in anything. not necessarily ruling anything out though, the universe is very big. and like, I think I have a kind of spirituality in some ways? like I have some vague beliefs about objects holding stories/memories. but I think that's a function of working in a museum gkfjhds, you can't help but personify stuff a bit

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

the uk visa I'm applying for............................ or the truly ridiculous amount of money I paid for it. god why is it so expensive.

not tagging anyone bc I think this was technically meant to be for new year's??? but hey if anyone wants to do it, you're welcome :)

[dngrcpckwithmurdericing]

#PetDeath #Remembrance

In October 2015, one of my beloved cats died. His name was Vincent and he was one of those black cats who had the tiniest bit of white under his chin. He had two cats who had bonded with him, one who was already dead, and one who I had literally adopted off the street and taken home when he was four weeks old named Theodore.

When Vincent died, Theodore was miserable. He started wandering the apartment. He would wake me in the middle of the night screaming and biting my face. I had taken away his bonded partner and he didn't know why. He had never been alone before.

Jan 1, 2017, I went to the place where my local animal shelter had adoption events. I asked them for an older cat who no one else wanted. They pointed me toward the cat room and said there was one cat in there who would never come out, who hated people, who had been given up in October. (!!)

I went into the cat room and sat down on the floor with my back against the wall and started to read. It was not even ten minutes before a beautiful biscuit kitty came up and sniffed around me, then settled into my lap.

We stayed like that for about a half-hour, and then I adopted him and brought him home. The above is the first picture I ever took of him.

(Side note, they told me he was three, and when I looked at his teeth I definitely scoffed - he was seven if he was a day. I wanted him anyway.)

He was a wonderful kitty, with a great temperament. He let Theodore be the boss cat without complaining or hiding, but also didn't take any shit and would swat the hell out of Theodore if he really got out of line. That meant Theodore ate first, but Seth sat on the topmost bit of the cat tree.

Every time I left the apartment, I would come home to see them in the window, watching off the cat tree, and by the time I was opening the door, they were waiting for me, twining around each other.

Theodore died a few months ago - he'd been declining steadily for about a year, and it was just his time.

Ever since then, Seth was... different. Even though my mom adopted a kitten in November (2021), who Seth loved to play with, he kind of lost interest in her after Theodore died. He stopped cuddling as much, and became even more of a picky eater than he had been previously.

(Yes, I absolutely indulged the culinary tastes of my cats. They can eat whatever they want, I don't fucking care. I will eat ramen every day to buy them the food they prefer.)

Anyway... yesterday Seth looked bad. He was hiding behind the toilet for most of the day, so I decided I would take him to the vet today.

But when I woke up, he had peed all over my bedroom floor and himself, and was lying on the bathroom rug, not moving. Not even when I came in and knelt down with him.

I wrapped him up in one of my used towels that I hadn't gotten around to washing, so he could smell me, and took him to the 24 hour emergency vet. I knew it didn't matter anymore, but I ran two red lights anyway. Seven am in south Brooklyn, no one's around, there's no traffic, and I just... needed to get him to a safe place where we could at least alleviate any pain.

But it really was too late. I brought him into the emergency vet, they sat us down in a beautiful room with couches, and then they took him away to weigh him and measure out the medicine and... you know.

He died while they were measuring the sedative.

I wish I had insisted on going with him, I wish I hadn't let them take him away from me for the last moments of his life.

I'm so sad. I keep reminding myself that he picked me as much as I picked him, and he lived a wonderful life with me (and Theodore), and time is time. It doesn't help make me less sad.

(My mom and dad both asked how it happened and I told them I was holding him for the last moments. No need to make them sadder than they have to be.)

I am a jewish atheist, and I don't believe in any kind of heaven like what christians talk about, but I believe in PET heaven. I have to. I don't want my cat to be star stuff - I want him to have a wonderful afterlife with all my other pets who have passed, where they can be lazy in the sun and chase each other around and take care of each other.

Anyway, I miss him and I'm sad, and I miss Theodore and Vincent (and their matriarch Shiksa) (yes, her name was Shiksa and she was the least Jewish cat I'd ever met). I miss the first cat who I ever held while he died, my buddy Clay, who used to eat broccoli and cheez fries with me. I miss Kitty, the black and white kitten we adopted who had multiple litters of kittens on my bed.

i'm glad it was fast, but... It's just hard. It's hard when they go.

This picture is the first time Seth ever jumped in a box. He'd been living with me for almost two years, and he was just so confused. Why did Theodore love boxes so much, he seemed to want to know. Why?? What is the point of this?? Since then I had only seen him get in a box one other time. What a good kitty.

And here is a picture of the first time he sat on my lap and Theodore yelled at him for it but he refused to jump down. Mostly I thought this was a hilarious picture of Theodore, but I was so proud of Seth for standing up for himself.

And here he is napping in the sun on my 42nd birthday. He was so soft, and so sweet, and had such good beans.

[catrose13]

Chapter Six The First Rule Of Any TTRPG is NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY, I think that my favourite of this chapters "Brought to you By"s is 2021, You Were One Of The Most Years Ever. Because it certainly was. Also remember there are SPOILERS

Oh no, now we're seeing things from the Parasites perspective, this is not a thing I ever wanted

Go Bakura! Trick that MoFo!!

...Rabbit...

Eugh Math and Sand two of the worst things

...Ammit's wearing a tiny hat?

Mokuba in what way does that resemble a dog?

Well at least Shadi's aware of where he ranks in this situation.

"White haired thief".... Mokuba I don't think he's talking about Pegasus

Ammit, Devourer of the Wicked

Is Mokuba talking about Tristan's nephews dog?

Shadi...you are so old

...Joey how do you know how much cocaine costs?

Joey's Dad is seriously in the Bad Parent Box with his Mom and Yugi's Parents

Tristan is such a Mom Friend

Téa when in doubt always guess a lower number

Oof Burgerville, I actually read some of the manga so I've read that bit. Big yikes

Well at least Yugi is aware about the Parasite

They really have had a day haven't they?

....Yugi you really need to phrase things a bit more delicately, you may give poor Yami a heart attack at this rate. Goddamn "Shadow Game Cherry"

"Knives up our sleeves" because cards would be cheating but stabbing your opponent clearly isn't

Oh Damn, Tristan's right guys! There's even a song and everything! It's catchy! I feel like he may need to start singing to them "Don't you know you never split the party? Clerics in the back keep those fighters hale and hearty. The wizard in the middle, where he can shed some light. And you never let that damn thief out of sight" Two of the fighters have bugged off to find, I guess, the cleric, the wizards have gone off to battle for the thief leaving possibly the other cleric behind

"Glaring furiously, like a cat forced to go to the vet" I can envision it perfectly

Shadi now is not the time for your dubious sense of humour to make an appearance

"With a sword. Right down the middle"...This will be important information to remember children

"Thanksgiving at the Wayne House" THE WAYNES!! 🤩

...Shadi those dudes were seriously screwed in the head, despite being a "Created" human you were still a person and they should definitely not have shopped you in half like some sort of sad pizza

...Technologically adept... this should have been another clue

"Dino-obsessed weirdo"... I know who that is

Op Ishizu has now got an Idea

How the heck did she keep all those questions straight?! Actually no she knows the Waynes, nevermind

"Dinosaur Blood Guy" Wow Rex

Despite everything Marik can be surprisingly sneaky

Poor Weevil freaking out in the background "Blood stuff?! What Blood Stuff?!"

"Less crazy Face tattoo brother" and "Blonde. Probably in a crop top and half of Fort Knox in jewelry" These are the best descriptions

HODGEKISS... is it the same one?

lol Wilburforce, that is certainly a name

Oh yeah I doubt there's two incredibly dumb Hodgekiss in the world. Or at least I hope not

...Do the Ishtar brothers know that Hodgekiss could potentially claim Blood Brother status from Ishizu giving him blood?

Ahh Relationships, the only person whose allowed to be mean to you is me

The Heart of the Cards loves Yugi

Lol Seto's Blue Eyes White Dragon is not a fan of you Parasite, prepare to lose your face

...Celtic Guardians are wild. "Just shoot me across the Board Bro!"

Who are you Red Coated Graverobber Goblin?

Lol God Complex Kuriboh

Oh man that Blue Eyes is really determined to get rid of the Parasite

I kind of love the Duel Monsters, they're so spirited

MAHAD, you have a Name! You Remember Things! I mean apparently you also have Amnesia but you still remember more than Yami does

Ah Bakura is ready for his Revenge

Heh Parasite has no idea how to command his Chess pieces

Graverobber Goblin Pawns are on Strike, Blue Eyes White Dragon Queen is looking to kill the player and the only one on their side of the board who know how to play won't help. Nice

Joey freaking a little about the "Romantic Foxes" sounding like the voices of the damned

...We're still talking about the Chupacabra?

Lol yeah Golden Retrievers aren't just cute and friend-shaped, they are also dogs you take hunting

Oh no the Clown done fucked up

Téa's so strong and fierce. She's going to absolutely destroy that clown

"Loud and Attractive is what I do best" Aw Joey

Ballerinas man, they're terrifying...kinda like hippos now that I think about it

"Mr-With-A-K"

Joey's notebook is gonna be so full by the time he actually gets to Pegasus

Oh man I just noticed Pega-SUS....his name tells you he's Sus

Téa's Yugi and Yami's Queen

Aww cute little Mousetrap. Such a good snek

More aww, brotherly snuggles!!

...I'm feeling deep concern for Marik "Future Pharoah and Ruler Of The World" that is a deeply concerning statement, especially the Caps

...Odion are you plotting Hodgekiss' demise?

Little Brother getting the snuggles!! I just want to wrap him in blankets, but I fear that if I tried I'd lose a limb. Sadness

"Karnak Blood Lady" and the "Karnak Dinosaur Blood Guy" those are certainly names

Odions like Hopeful feeling...text message...less hopeful feeling

[adultswim2021]

MAIL BAG

Shamefully I forgot about me mail bag, so it’s been piling up. So this post will be a big mail bag one. How about that?

Also, I have a LID BLOWER at the end! Maybe? I don’t know. I have succumbed to covid-19 and also my marijuana addiction, so this post might be incomprehensible. I’m sorry:

shitsucker69 writes:

Milpool

Nah this was anonymous but I figure some dipshit who would write that would probably have some fucked up name like shitsucker69. This guy is twisted. Anyway, fuck off wanker

speaking of bozo, if you played bozo buckets how far do you think you would get (i believe there are 6 buckets in total)

Bozo Buckets? What on earth... ???

if this hiatus takes long enough can you review the Tiny Toons episode One Beer? I know it was never on Adult Swim but it is a cartoon :)

I will have to start a new blog that is called something like “Shows that weren’t the Simpsons or aired on Adult Swim”. Wouldn’t you just love it? Me talking about Duckman and such? Gettin’ wild talkin’ Family Dog and all that?

you have a cat? tell us more about them!

Her name is Lucy and she we were forced to take care of her by a guy who moved to Africa and I guess cats were illegal there. She is elderly and last time I took her to the vet it cost $700. She spins around in small circles on the way to her food dish which might be cuz of an ear infection but I don’t know because I accidentally ruined her medicine for it and had to wait for another pay day before I could get some more. That day has come but now I have Covid and am much more concerned with my own ailing health.

Bernie Sanders passed away because he was too gay

Uhm, probably because he was homophobic/racist too...

You got more food reviews? I would watch another and others

I am planning to become famous and wealthy from doing food reviews on YouTube.com

you remind me of Philip in the Alex Ross Perry movie Listen Up Philip. Make it your mission to watch it ASAP

(snottily/sarcastically saluting) sir yes sir

The Heaven's Gate stuff is such a trip because remember how stupid looking the old man leader looked. It's like falling under spell of James Quall.

Laughing. My. Fucking. A-S-S. OFF! That guy was a turkey, and I could gobble him up

I heard it's your birthday and I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. What is your number one adult swim birthday wish. You can tell us. It won't come true otherwise.

My number one Adult Swim birthday wish. Uh, I guess it would be to have sex with any woman who has been on Adult Swim. I don’t care who. It could be a normal one even. Like a not-that-hot one. I’m not going to name any names because that would be sexist and I’m not sexist

Seinfeld sucks, jerry is a bitchass hoe

true dat! Actually... nah, I like Seinfeld and Jerry is cute

the real folk blues? more like BABY blues

You ain’t kiddin (also I am reading and reviewing every Baby Blues coming up next)

Okay here is the NEWS, thank you for reading me be nasty online

I have begun a NEW BLOG to cover non-original Adult Swim Content. It’s called ADULT SWIM 2022! What do you think of that? It will take a backseat to Adult Swim 2021 always, but It’ll be a fun side project to tinker on, and you know I love to tinker. It is one of my noted traits! You gotta respect that. There is more information up on the WELCOME POST, but there you have it. A SECOND ADULT SWIM BLOG.

[yessoupy]

7 and 8 for the band of brothers asks (if you're still doing them!) Can you believe I've had the show on my to watch list for YEARS and only watched it fully for the first time over the Dec 2021 - Jan 2022 winter break.. and I've since watched it multiple times. So happy to see a cozy fandom still thriving here !

omg yes I was just talking today about how wonderful it was to have this fandom thriving SO LONG after the original airing of the show!!

7. how did you first find out about the show

8. when did you first watch the show?

the answers to these questions go together! in the summer of 2004 I was a junior going into senior yr of high school. my cousin and I went on a high school study abroad trip to France and England through the college I eventually attended, end of June/beginning of July that yr. it was a ww2 history course. we spent a couple days on campus and then flew to paris, did some stuff there, took a bus to the Normandy coast for a few days, then a ferry to England and did some stuff in and around London, then flew back home.

while we were on campus we watched 'the longest day' and I really liked it! I asked the boys if there was anything like that but more recent and they said "well there's saving private ryan, but that one isn't as good as the HBO show band of brothers." I only retained the name of the movie UNTIL

on July 4 we were in Paris at the eiffel tower and there were these really old guys all dressed the same and the boys in our group were freaking out like they were looking at a bunch of movie stars. we began talking to them...

and learned their names - don malarkey and buck compton. real ww2 vets!! it was so neat. afterward, the starstruck boys asked us girls if we knew who we'd been talking to. we were like yeah, vets, and they said "NO YOU WERE TALKING TO EASY COMPANY OF THE SECOND BATTALION OF THE 506 PIR OF THE 101ST AIRBORNE" and when were were still like 'yeah... veterans.....' they said "no like, BAND OF BROTHERS."

so when we got home I used my fam's Hollywood video acct (unlimited rentals, one DVD at a time) to watch the show. first time I'd binged a TV show, ever, those days in July 2004. then it was like, holy shit we met malarkey and compton!!!!

so then after that I'd watch the marathons on spike TV around D-day anniversaries or memorial day weekend or whatever, but usually I'd fall asleep to the sound of machine guns and not really pay too much attention beyond "oh I met malarkey and compton." it wasn't until a random half-interested watch in 2018 when I happened to look up at the TV right when nix got dinged outside of nuenen and I sat up straight and said "WHAT HAVE WE HERE???" that I found a ship that obsessed me. (I had read fic before, EVEN THAT SHIP!! but in an abstract way of "I read fic for every media I consume because that's just what I do even if I don't ship anything it's just another medium to consume" [who else does this??]).

and then summer of 2020 I was just really desiring some good leadership in my life and started thoughtful re-watches where I gave a shit about what was actually going on in a broader sense, FINALLY read the ambrose book, and on like my second re-watch I sent Google a question

then posted this on my instastory like "wow gliders seem like a death trap" and my mom responded, "your grandmother's fiancé was a glider pilot, that is how he died during the war, that's all I know about him except oh his name was ray and he was from columbus, oh" and that kicked off a research jag which led to me learning literally all there is to know about 2nd lt. ray schott's military career and being named as his granddaughter (close enough) in the glider pilots memorial newsletter. there were no portraits of him online in uniform until I got a scanned copy of him from my aunt.

my grandmother lit a candle for him every year in his birthday, August 25, and the anniversary of the day he died, December 27 (1944, yes he was KIA at Bastogne resupplying the 101st). when I learned this in 2021 I began lighting a candle on those days in her place. she passed away in 2009. ray was the love of her life. she married my grandfather about a year after Ray was killed. she was an anti-war activist up until her death.

[elliebartlets]

Hello everyone. I normally don’t post stuff like this but this is personal and important to me so if you want to take a few minutes of your time I’d appreciate it. Trigger warning: dog attack and dog death (I did not include a lot of details but just in case.)

Back on New Years Day 2021, my aunt’s dog Sophie was attacked and killed by another dog. The dog was known to be unfriendly towards other dogs and was not on a leash at the time of the attack. My aunt’s friend was walking her at the time, and when my aunt heard Sophie being attacked, she ran out to try and save her but was unfortunately too late. While trying to save Sophie, my aunt received injuries from running down the steps and from the other dog. She was covered in blood and bruises, required physical therapy for her back, and needed four rounds of rabies shots, as the dog had bitten her and had no vet records.

She wanted to sue the owner of the dog, but the law firm she worked with told her she wouldn’t get anywhere because of “contributory negligence”. Contributory negligence is a doctrine of common law that essentially states that if a person was injured in part due to his/her own negligence (his/her negligence "contributed" to the accident), the injured party would not be entitled to collect any damages (money) from another party who supposedly caused the accident. Under Maryland law, a person who is found to be contributorily negligent may not recover ANY damages for their injuries. Sure enough, State Farm, the dog owner’s insurance company, is claiming contributory negligence. They are trying to make it look like it was my aunts fault for trying to save her dog. However, my aunt was not just going to stand idly by while her dog was being attacked.

Only 4 states in the US follow pure contributory negligence: Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina, and Alabama. My aunt is currently trying to get this changed in Maryland, where the incident took place, and has started a petition to change contributory negligence to comparative negligence. Most states have adopted a comparative negligence test in which the relative percentages of negligence by each person are used to determine damage recovery (how much money would be paid to the injured person). Comparative negligence is a much fairer doctrine that takes both parties negligence into accounts, instead of assigning unfair blame to one party.

This is not just about damages, or money, to my aunt. Even though State Farm, the dog’s owners insurance, only paid for part of her hospitalization and bills, she has paid them off and managed to talk down the price of the bills. This is about the unfairness of this doctrine. It’s about the fact that if you go to save a loved one or anyone, and become injured in the process, you are considered to be at fault. Who wouldn’t put their life on the line to save a loved one, whether it’s a pet or a child or a parent? In other cases, even if you are slightly negligent you could not win against someone who was very negligent.

If you would like to sign this petition to help I would really appreciate it and I know my aunt would too! (More information on what happened is also in this petition).

[dertaglichedan]

New J6 Footage Shows Ray Epps Whispering To 'Baked Alaska': "We're Here To Storm The Capitol"

Authored by Debra Heine via American Greatness,

Anew report provides fresh evidence that infamous January 6 provocateur Ray Epps may have been an FBI plant.

In the first of a two-part series, “Truth in Media” host Lara Logan spoke with Anthime Gionet, also known as “Baked Alaska,” a right-wing influencer formerly associated with the “alt right.” Video footage from January 5, 2021 and earlier indicate that Epps appeared to be particularly interested in Gionet, who was later sentenced to two months in prison for his participation in the riot at the US Capitol.

Gionet (Baked Alaska) was one of several people who filmed Epps on the evening of January 5, 2021 outside BLM Plaza as he told Trump supporters “we need to go into the Capitol!”  At first, Gionet said he was amused by Epps’ exhortation to breach the Capitol, and yelled ‘let’s go!’ in response, but after he saw him repeat the line several times to different groups that night, he became convinced the “boomer” was an FBI plant and was up to no good.

Gionet is the one who started the “Fed! Fed! Fed!” chant that went viral on social media.

“I’m someone who creates funny content so I just like to agree with everyone and if someone’s saying something crazy, a lot of times, I’ll just agree—say yeah, yeah,” Gionet said, explaining that he does it to encourage a subject  to keep talking.

But the activist said he felt “weirded out” by Epps and quickly moved on to another group.

“I’m like, I’m getting away from this creep, he’s weirding me out,” Gionet said. “I’m getting weird vibes—something’s off.”

Gionet told Logan that everyone else who heard Epps talking about going into the Capitol were also taken aback.

“I go to another group way far away from him, he follows me, and that’s when he begins instructing the crowd,” Gionet said. That’s when Epps was caught on tape again saying “we need to go into the Capitol.”

“Right when he said that, something clicked in my head,” Gionet said. “It was like, whoa! This is scripted because he said the same exact line word for word three times and that’s not natural.”

Gionet said that it seemed very odd that he kept going around to all the different little groups and instructing them on what to do on January 6.

“Maybe the first time, he’s being silly or saying something crazy, but when he said it the third time word for word, I knew there’s a strong possibility this guy’s a fed. I started that chant, and guess what? The whole crowd joined in with me—within seconds!”

Gionet told Logan that that viral moment felt spiritual to him at the time.

“That was the spirit moving. That was God saying ‘somethings up here. Watch out, there’s something going on.’ And that’s what I felt in my heart as a believer, truly,” he said.

Shortly before midnight, Epps took a conciliatory tone with Gionet, telling him they he also despises Black Lives Matter and antifa.

“I stood ’em down myself with three Army vets in Queen Creek, Arizona,” Epps said.

“That’s where I live!” Gionet exclaimed. “Are you my neighbor?!”

After more friendly banter, Epps said ”we’re not here to fight man. He then leaned in and whispered “we’re here to storm the Capitol,” and added: “I’m not kidding.”

[mysticalsoot]

i feel a bit venty so do scroll past if death, pet loss, hallucinations, just like bad coping or like medical stuff bothers you!! just fair warning, it's just there's a lot of sad shit here.

something to note about me is that while most people don't cope with death very well, I don't cope with it at all.

i have an extremely hard time coping with it and moving past it. I live in constant fear of it, not of me dying but of everyone else dying. i hate it, I hate it so much.

I didn't handle my grandmother's death well at all, while most other people just moved along (besides my mom), I stayed there crying at the sight of anything that reminded me of her or seeing her walk towards me or hear her talk to me. it got so bad, I hallucinated her in my dreams after the fact. it was just bad, and I still struggle but I think that's just something that happens. its been two years and I still have my moments but I stopped crying for the most part.

I didn't handle techno well either, he was a great comfort to me when I was dealing with my own medical fears in the summer of 21' and I was devastated when I found out he even got cancer in the first place. and part of me feels bad at how hopeful I was that he'd be okay, because he wasn't and his family lost him, his friends, his community lost him. i still haven't stopped crying over that one and I hallucinate him sometimes too, it's very occasional and sparse now but it was a lot worse at the beginning. it was always worse at the beginning.

and yesterday, I took my cat (who I've had since 2021 before my grandma passed, and that was my cat that bonded with me) to the vet yesterday for a heavy breathing issue. it got worse and my parents finally caved and noticed it more too and we took him to the animal hospital. he seemed to get worse in the car, he was kind of panicky in the carrier before we left the house but I have a feeling it was already bad and he was in pain when he was panicked. he loves small spaces and he loves the carrier. on our way there his breathing got so much worse, it would slow at times, almost stop and I was talking to him the whole way. he was crying to me so much. I'd tell him to focus on his breathing and his breathing would get better and he would stop crying for a bit and I kept doing that the whole way there, it was a 20 minute drive. when we got there, I carried him in and I talked to him. the vet already had stuff ready for him so they took him back not even a few minutes after we stepped in the door. i could still hear him crying from the back. and then we went into the little vet room, and it stopped. he stopped crying. i started to text my mom and told her maybe they sedated him so they could take care of him. and then they told me he coded and asked if they could do CPR. I knew it was bad, I had a feeling in the car he was going to die there, but he held on until I couldn't see him anymore. and they couldn't save him. they couldn't save my baby. they tried and tried, I heard it all. I heard everything every sound, every attempt. they couldn't save him. and then they brought him to me, wrapped in a little blanket he would've killed to have. and I held him and I cried so much. he would have never let me hold him like a baby when he was alive. he only liked being held with his back paws on my hand and his arms over my shoulder and his chin rested with his upper paws. he started hugging me like that a few weeks before he passed. I think he knew. i really think he knew. and god, I should've pushed to take him in earlier, when I saw his breathing get weird the first day. maybe I would still have my buddy and maybe I wouldn't be here crying like I am.

i feel so stupid crying over a cat like he was my flesh and blood, but to me he might as well have been.. he'd follow me around and he liked to watch over me and he took care of me, he was never very cuddly and I was getting to the point where his cuddle stage was kicking in, but he passed before I could get him to stay laying on me for more than a few minutes.. he had so much energy man. he loved to jump up on his hind legs to bump the top of his head to your hand. he was so sweet. he had the same look in his eyes that my grandma did before she passed, the "I love you and I'm sorry" look. maybe I'm looking too into it, but I need something, anything. i have one person that I've known for a good while that's there for me and they are so busy they don't have time to console me. everyone else doesn't seem to care (not talking about elliot), or care enough about me. i share my friend group with my sibling and that's always fucking rough bc I feel like I'm not their friend? I'm just the older brother that hangs around sometimes. i just hate everything right now, and I can't cope..and I'm already seeing him everywhere. and I'm wearing his collar as a bracelet. i feel like most people pick up from where they left off after a pet dies and I just can't do that. i can't at all. i just can't.

[eeveelotions]

a life update

cw/tw, pet death mention, depression, suicidal thoughts, toxic home relationship

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so. I've kinda dropped off since the new year. been meaning to update you guys (gender neutral) but, well. it's been hard. so let me give you a summary of the first twelve days of 2023 for me

-girldriend broke up with me

-my own words caused a best friend to stop being friends with me. it's my fault. maybe if I apologized and begged, I could fix it.

-two weeks ago, on a Monday, the day classes for school started, I took my cat and emotional Support animal, Alfred, to the vet in-between classes

-alfred already had hypothyroidism, high blood pressure and kidney disease, and was on approximately three meds (two pills and a packrt of gel stuff for his kidneys)

-at the vet, they determined he has pancreatitis, hip and back arthritis (which is why he sits and walks weird), and one of his few remaining teeth is starting to go bad

-pancreatitis, I could handle. another pill, no problem, it's fine

-but the arthritis. he's in pain, and has been for I don't know how long.

-the only pain medicine is a shot they give him, which is 75 dollars once a month, not including the price of his other medications, wet cat food from lack of teeth, and check ups

-so, I. I made the decision, and I'm putting him down March 14th. its spring break, a Tuesday, so I can spend one full day with him, and not miss work or school while grieving

-we went back and forth for about an hour before I blew up, saying I was managing it, I was going to keep him comfortable while I processed it, then went to class

-went home, told my mom. she yelled at me, said I was being selfish for keeping him alive for so long. made me feel guilty for considering cremation, I wasn't being fair to Alfred

-two days of peace while my uncle was visiting

-thursday morning before class. I came downstairs, we talked, normal. then she said that it seemed like I cared more about my cat dying than when my grandma, her mother passed in 2021.

-for context, I was close with my grandmother. I visited her once or twice a month for almost a year prior to her passing, and it was incredibly hard on me. I took the whole week leading up to the funeral off of work.

-i guess my mom didn't remember, because she had the AUDACITY to tell me I didn't take a grieving period for my grandma, then she got upset when I said "how dare you"

-then I went off to class, and texted a friend whom had offered to let me move in with their family in the past, if the offer was still on the table and how it would work.

-ive lived here for two weeks now. it's a longer commute to and from work and school, but I havent been yelled at in two weeks as of tomorrow

-prior to 2023, I lost two cats in 2022. Family cat Smokey in August, baby 2yo kitten Princess in October.

-march 14th, the day I'm putting and have scheduled to put Alfred down, is eight days before my birthday.

-i still have class and homework. I have a comm I need to finish, and the person has been so understanding, but I feel awful

-i can't write. I've tried. gods, I've tried. I'm adding small tidbits onto current drafts, but it's so hard. I can't handle angst at all, and that puts several projects on hiatus

-im crying every few days because it hits me that my best friend, my constant companion, will be gone in less than two months

-Alfred is 12ish, I've had him for four years. five in August, but he. won't be here then.

-he was a rescue, so I don't know his true age. everyone, vet included, thinks he may be older.

-vet said nobody would judge me for my decision, and based on Alfred's medical condition and chart, I wasn't making a wrong one

-ive never had to put a cat, or any pet, down before. never had to make the decision myself.

-ive struggled with suicidal thoughts and major anxiety the past few weeks. I'm trying my hbest, but.

-im tired.

tldr: my life is going to hell and will be hell well into the year, and I'm sorry about the sudden halt of fics and posting. I'll try to write what I can when I can, but. no promises, unfortunately

if you got this far, thanks. I appreciate it.

[adamburt1984]

Highs and lows of 2022

Highs

- Seeing Little Train statue at little park in my local area, obessive with it ever since, it might been there ages but only notices it beginning of 2022.

- Met two cats 

- The Batman, last movie I seen in cinema. No job no fun, I hate when times like this. Got Disney Plus so can watch Lightyear (& Sox) and Dr Strange 2nd movie. But unable to Black Adam.

- Meeting 12 Dinosaurs at Leeds City Centre

- Met Thomas the Tank

- Having a Playstation 5

- Having a walk and seen interesting place, my mum advice me to talk a walk to clear mum, fresh air and exercise.

- Had House to myself, with my two cats, Playstation 5, my computer, my soft toys and KFC.

- Visiting Leeds City Museum, thinking of working in museum but only in weekdays, as want no weekend job like my last job.

- Visiting Royal Armouries, also bought a plush, Amour Elephant plush, seem new things in gift shop at times. Not sure when they get new things and where they put some old ones.

- Heatwave

- Started playing Genshin Impact & Watchdogs Legion Bloodline.

- Having dad in my dream, so real I forgot my dad pass away. Was in our house with my brother and woman, but believe inside our house look different and not sure who this woman. My mum show up with dad from hospital, before he pass away he had dementia but he seem normal. Dream sometime don’t make secne, I believe had dad in my dream again forgot what it about.

Also in 2022

- Helping mum taken our two cats to the vet. Gremiln was most scared she moeow alot, feel nerves for these cats. Also day after Queen’s funeral. Arrvied Home from the vet, Gremiln was lay on the floor little shaken.

- Watch the Queen’s funeral, not fan of The Queen, Royal Family & Harry & Megan. But I show respect.

Low

- World Cup 2022, lost to frogs in quarter final, when will England going to the World Cup. I hate the World Cup cos it always England failed and other nations seem always have chances. Sick of it.

- Struggling finding a job, been turn down on two and missed out on two (when try to apply to one again they didn’t respond).

- Problem at home, never a good things. Annoyed by my mum and brother. Moment me and mum fall out when mum say get out of my sight which was upsetting.

- Chip a tooth.

- England lost to Hungray twice.

- Manchester United bad season (2021/22) and bad start in new season (2022/23).

- News about Living Crisis.

- Unsubcrible from Netflix (Twice, enjoyed watching some shows/movies).

- Failed Juctice System that let Coslton 4 out and get away with crime.

- Some Struggle playing Genshin Impact. (enjoyed the game and love some characters but some quests and battle make diffcult and try leveled up characters and weapons).

-  Playstation 5 that broken down just 4 weeks we had it. But got new one before Christmas. 

- Watched Happy Sugar Life, depressing anime and unlikeable/unloveable characters.

2023

- Hoping to get a job.

- Sabaton concert featuring Babymetal & Lordi.

[sarahali199x]

The Animals of the House I Loved Chapter 0-1

The Animals of the House I Loved- All the Pets I Ever Had - By Sarah Ali Wednesday 13 July 2022 - 1 September 2022 About 13,848 Words or 71,814 Characters Warning: Swearing, Illness, Death, Animal Abuse, Fighting Animals, Castration 0./25 Intro There is a great need in me to write this text. Even though I'm only 28, I can feel the memories slowly fading. So I want to lock them in just to be safe. My name is Sarah Ali, I am a trans woman. I was born in 1995, and live since 2021 as a woman. Simply put, I love animals. You can tell how far advanced a society is by how well they treat animals and treat people. Animals have a certain innocence, they do not possess, or to a lesser extent the self-consciousness and responsibility of a person. If you have a pet you can feel this, they are part of the family, they are a family member. I once heard the following: a dog is like a heater of love, as soon as there is a dog in the house or near it, you get love from it, you just have to look at it. I'm talking about platonic love, of course. I would also like to say that all our dogs and cats, neutered and sterilized. In this way we prevent the overpopulation of animals. 1./25 Zola, the Cat and the Chick Warning: Animal Death, Dead Animal Parts, Euthanasia, Animal Abuse Let's start before the beginning, my parents! I have two mothers, a mum and a mooka. My mum used to have a cat, she had named him Zola after a writer I think. The cat liked to eat ice cream. Animals are sensitive to maggots, especially at their buttocks, it is something you often have to check on animals, especially rabbits I've read. Anyway, Mum found out that Zola had worms, so she took him to the vet as soon as possible, but it was too late. Zola couldn't make it anymore, and was given an injection, to sleep forever. My mooka, I think she was about 9 at the time. It might have been the 70's or the 80's I don't know, but her mother, my grandmother, had bought chicks for my mother and her sister. She even let them roam around free in the house. My mooka didn't pay attention, and went to get a glass of water, suddenly she heard "crack!". It was as if a bucket of ice was suddenly thrown over her heart, she hardly dared look. She had stepped on a chick with her shoe! The poor creature. To this day my mother still feels guilty about it. My mum's grandma and grandpa (my great-grandparents) had chickens. They slaughter these birds and then eat them. My mother was still a child, but she had seen the film 'Birds' by Alfred Hitchcock. Her brother (my uncle) often took one of the chicken claws to tease mum. Apparently there was a tendon in those legs, and if you pulled on it, the leg closed. That's how he scared the ship out of mum! Also at my mooka's house chickens were sometimes slaughtered for dinner, she remembered how her mother had beheaded a chicken, the chicken's legs kept floundering and her mother had accidentally let it go, leaving the chicken running around! Apparently this is something that can happen, hence the Dutch proverb: "To walk around like a headless chicken.", it means that you walk around nervous or in a panic, not knowing what to do. This all sounds rather sinister, I suspect it's different times now. Animals are still being slaughtered, but it happens more secluded, in slaughterhouses. You can then ask yourself whether humanity will not become alienated from the animals that we eat. And whether it is more ethical in larger factories and slaughterhouses. People, now, often use a cattle gun or bolt pistol

where an animal is slaughtered quickly and painlessly (or as painlessly as possible). With this gun, a metal pin is inserted into the skull, and shot through the animal's brain, this goes so fast that the creature is immediately brain dead.