#but again! i dont think he'd be unhappy with that ending

[layzeal]

See thats the thing. Yes it will make him absolutely miserable to end the bloodline. But thats the thing. He can't do otherwise. The more he fails to get a wife (and to examine why), the more he interiorizes that it must come from an inherent fault of his and the worse his attempts get. Thats also why I dont think he would "adopt" either, his problem is that he can't really move on. Jin ling is different, because he's his sisters son, not his. And hes channeled all his energy into him, which is crazy politically speaking since jin ling can never be a jiang heir. I think part of him is terrified that he would do to his actual son what his father did to him (bc he will always love jin ling more on the basis of him being jiang yanlis son, the same way jiang fengmians affection for wei wuxian was a continuation of his love for cangse sanren). I think its really complex but honestly I'm compelled by the increased misery as stated above :)

i get you friend, but i really think you're giving him more credit than it's due 😭 my man has never done a bit of self-analysis in his life and i don't think failing to get a wife will get him to start

[manicpixiefelix]

he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way)

{ One-Shot for head, heart, hand. }

Summary: When Oliver's lies are revealed to you and Felix, you have a much better time understanding his reasoning for it all, and Oliver convinces you to help talk Felix around into hopefully forgiving him. Felix, however, just grows more frustrated as it appears that you've very quickly moved on from the betray, and are urging him to do so too. Meanwhile, Oliver has come to realise that no matter the outcome, Felix will never really want anyone else if he has you by his side.

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: death (YOU DIE IN THIS ONE), murder via overdose, oliver's birthday party situation, oliver being incredibly manipulative, reader and felix arguing a lot, felix being a bit of a dick, angst with an unhappy ending, toxic felix/oliver endgame, heavy drinking and drug use

{ now with an epilogue }

A/N: 6267 words. ooft ouch ooft my heart. i dont like reader & fi fighting and this whole thing fucked me up bigtime. like bigtime bigtime. big angst, please heed the warnings. what do you think about this one? i like it even if it made me cryyyy

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

"Please," Oliver's lip trembles when he grabs your sleeve. He doesn't try and chase Felix after you all get back from the disastrous trip to his parents' house, perhaps part of him knew he wouldn't get through to him in this state, so he latches on to you instead, "you- you know," and even just the helpless sense of desire in his voice is familiar to you, "I just wanted to be his friend, be your friend; be close to you both -" Oliver's fidgeting with your sleeve and your heart's breaking for him, despite the betrayal of his lies.

"Ollie-" you sighed, but he took both your hands in his, tears gathering in the beautiful blue eyes you've come to care so deeply about in the past year.

"I never meant any harm," he insists. His hands are shaking.

"I know, Ollie," you finally concede, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.

"He won't listen to me- won't believe me; please, please, I need you to believe me, I need Felix -" and though he can't seem to finish the request, it's enough. The lies he's told, what they mean for the friendship you've all forged, it makes you feel more than a little queasy, but you think you understand him. At least better than Felix would in this moment.

"I'll try," though your tone doesn't inspire confidence, "just give him space, give him time -"

"I don't have time," Oliver croaks out weakly, gave dropping to the floor, "he'll throw me out tomorrow and never look at me again," this time, when his grip on your hands tightens, it becomes almost painful, face scrunching up as if dreading the tears he was about to shed, the things he was about to say; "and even if you don't hate me the way he does, I'll be losing you too."

Your silence speaks volumes. You hate that he's right.

"You know you're the only hope I've got left." Oliver's nails dig into your skin, but your hands don't shake.

"I will try, that's all I can do."

By the time you get to your room, Felix is already cutting up lines of coke with a delicate little razor from one of the various stashes you and the other wards of the Saltburn Estate had hidden throughout the building over the years. He doesn't look up when you enter, quietly, and furiously focused on the task at hand, cross-legged in the middle of your bed.

Sitting behind him, you lean in to press your forehead between his shoulders, sighing deeply.

"Yeah," Felix mumbles, "it's a bit like that, isn't it?"

Squeezing your eyes closed, all you can see is the love and desperation in OIiver's eyes as he'd held you back, begged for your understanding, forgiveness, friendship -

"You never loved someone so much you'd do anything to keep them around?" You asked softly, and feel Felix go still, "you never lied about your family because you were worried about how people would react if they knew the truth?" The more you consider, the less anger you feel towards what Oliver had done.

"You're different," Felix's voice is carefully neutral. There's a pause, a snort, a line of white powder going up his nose, "you didn't pretend that your dad died just to get sympathy out of me," he points out, already picking at the threads of similarity that you'd laid before him in hopes of softening the betrayal he felt so strongly.

Then he's moving again, doing things you're still not sure of, forehead still pressed to the fabric of his shirt between his shoulders. Sighing, louder this time, you go to say something more, to try and argue your case further, but Felix cuts you off. It's the sharpest he's ever been with you, you think, practically orders you not to talk about this anymore.

Then, he shifts, he reaches for you behind himself, and you move with him, without prompting. Felix leans back, and you move to his side, allow yourself to settle your head on his chest, looking up at him. One hand loosely draped over you, Felix tucks his other behind his head, eyes closed; even if they were open, he wouldn't be looking at you.

"Just shut up about Ollie, just shut up -" his tone is much softer now, but his words still bite more than you're used to, "I don't want to hear anything about fucking Oliver Quick right now." There's a nausea twisting in your gut that you're unfamiliar with, heavy and upsetting, that you somehow know has everything to do with Felix's tone. Part of you feels so embarrassed for even feeling like this, for being so wrapped up in pleasing him that even the slightest hint of disapproval for the first time in years has you so viscerally uncomfortable.

The other part of you ducks your gaze, and curls up against his side, obedient.

"Sure, Fi."

A long silence, softened only by Felix's deep breathing for several long moments before you finally feel him relax.

"I love you," it sounds almost like an apology. You wonder if he knows how to do that. Still, the nausea in your gut immediately begins to clear. This time, when you close your eyes, you try to just be present in the moment for what it is, Felix's arm around you, his steady heartbeat warm beneath your ear; you can find contentment here if you tried.

Much to your chagrin, Felix's mood and feelings of betrayal also meant he was no longer interested in the full costume you'd put together for him for Oliver's birthday party. He's well aware his mother would be appalled if he just showed up in jeans and a shirt, so he reluctantly pulls on the wings you'd spray painted up on the roof a few days before.

"I put time into this, Fi," you pleaded softly, looking at the rest of the costume you'd put together hanging sadly, untouched in his wardrobe.

"Maybe I just want to save it for a happy occasion," Felix refused to even sit down at the dresser, despite where you'd neatly set out both of your accessories for the night. He doesn't even spare the various, gold accoutrements that you'd curated for his costume a second glance, simply fusses with his hair in a way that won't even last.

"You're being ridiculous about this," you finally voice, unable to stop yourself, "he's still Our Oliver, his family doesn't change that -"

Felix goes still in the mirror, expression displeased when he meets your eyes in the reflection. Nausea again. You never want him to look at you like this ever again; you half want to apologise already.

"I don't care about his family, I care about how I don't know if I can believe anything he says! He lied to you, to me, he was clearly lying to his family, considering they have no idea he'd be nothing but a fucking joke at uni if it wasn't for me!" The outburst blindsides you, it seems to even blindside Felix, who has to take a few moments to compose himself before he can look you in the eyes again. Softly, that look of betrayal is turned upon you, "how can you be okay with that?"

A million answers blow through your mind - love, compartmentalisation, hypocrisy - but none feel right. There's no way for you to justify this to Felix, at least, not one that would make him happy, make him understand.

"Our Oliver-" but as he's standing, he cuts himself off, shaking his head, "Your Oliver -" but the words get stuck in his throat. After a beat, he scrubs his face over his hands, "I just don't understand," far calmer, he lets out a deep breath and continues, "how you got over this so fast," but before you can answer, his eyes open, and there's no fire, nor fury, just hurt; "and I need you right now, but not if you're going to be like this."

Oh, you're going to be sick.

It's apologies that spew out of you, nervous, still only half ready, and regretting every word that made Felix look at you like that. He tries awkwardly to tell you that it's not that bad, that he just wishes it felt like you were on his team. Insisting that you are gets you a weak smile from your best friend, but he still leaves seeming unconvinced.

There are voices outside, on the grounds. The party has begun, the sun will be set soon.

Half of your costume hangs up beside Felix's, your elegant, green gossamer robe shining next to the matching, gold gossamer pirate shirt that you had made for Felix. Neither leave the wardrobe, and perhaps you are underdressed in what was basically a set of incredibly ornate, bejewelled, and bedazzled lingerie, and boots, but you couldn't even bring yourself to care.

Perhaps, you consider, if Felix had blown up before you'd gotten this much on, you'd be as dressed down as he was for the event.

Before you leave, however, you go to double check yourself in the mirror, and don't think to knock. Oliver catches sight of you in the mirror before you properly realise he's there. Both freeze, both deer trapped in each other's proverbial headlights. Both with red-rimmed eyes. You wonder if he knows, if he waited with baited breath and an ear pressed to the bedroom door as Felix tore him down and you immediately gave him up to keep your best friend happy.

"You look like a dream," Oliver's voice is hoarse, and he turns to properly face you, to give your costume a generous look over, "merry wanderer of the night," he offers, meeting your gaze again. The line, pulled straight from the play upon which the whole night was based, was one you'd gleefully recounted to him when you told him you would be going as Puck.

There's a slight, sad smile on his lips, a shyness to the way he leans against the counter, but none of the awkwardness he carries around others. There, in his boxers alone, you realise how vulnerable he truly is in this moment, the moment you've so callously interrupted. But Oliver doesn't call you out, nor does he shy away from your gaze.

All words have escaped you in this moment, however. Even the idea of Felix's reaction to his moment makes you feel ill, but part of your heart still breaks for Oliver, for this boy so overwhelmed with love that he would do anything for it.

"I can go," Oliver says softly, apologetically, when you seem frozen even still. It breaks you out, however, and you shake your head vigorously.

"No, its okay Ollie."

"Your," he says slowly, pointedly, "Ollie." He'd heard. Fuck; how much? "I heard all of it," he admits slowly, approaching you. This time, you are the wild animal, cornered in the bathroom. Oliver doesn't look at you like prey, he doesn't approach you like a predator; he doesn't want to spook you, "I didn't mean to get between you and Felix," his voice is soft, and he sniffles a little, but tries to smile through it, "ever; back at Oxford, over Summer, ever."

But you can't bring yourself to look at him. Gently, you loop a finger through the fine, silver chain around his throat, keeping your gaze focused on it without ever tugging it too hard.

"I'm trying," you whisper, voice watery despite your best effort, tears gathering in your eyes, "but I -"

Oliver pulls you into a hug as the damn finally bursts, and the tension, the pressure of the day that had already been pressing down upon you finally breaks. Oliver lets you cry on his shoulder, petting your hair gently.

"But you're a good dog," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to your temple, and you're too distraught to catch the echoes of resentment in his tone.

"It's all I know how to be!"

"I know, pet, I know."

Once you've calmed down, you apologise for your outburst, for having him comfort you at a time like this. There's something different about him, about his smile, the look in his eyes, as he just assures you that it's fine, that he's going to still try and enjoy his night.

After cleaning yourself up and fixing your makeup, finally you make it downstairs. There's more people on the first floor than you'd been expecting, so you have to worm your way through the crowd to search for Felix.

"My gentle puck, come hither!" Felix voice rises through the crowd; if your ears could prick up, they probably would. Just the brightness in his voice lifts you from your melancholy, and when you finally reach him you're beaming.

And he's already drunk.

Which you would like to be too. As if anticipating your requests, he puts two fruity looking drinks in your hands, and picks up another two with a wide smile. You trot along behind him as he cuts a path through the crowd towards the sofas where your friends from Oxford had found themselves. A cheer rises when they see you, all glad for your company, all desperate to hear how your Summer had been so far.

At first, you're simply sitting on the arm of the sofa, beside Felix, bright and animatedly engaging in conversation with the others. Felix finishes his first drink and his arm goes around India, tucked up against his other side, but as soon as his second drink is finished, and you've leaned across him to put your own empty cup on the coffee table between you all, he uses it as an excuse to pull you into his lap.

"Felix," India says when she means what the fuck are you playing at right now? Felix gives a surprisingly cold smile, his hand slipping from her shoulder, moving lower to grip her side rather possessively. You simply wait, ready to move at a moment's notice.

"What?" There's something biting in Felix's voice, something that sounds so uncharacteristically mean as he raises his voice enough for the group to hear, "aren't you all still deluding yourselves about me and Y/N? Don't you still think we're related - or whatever it was Farleigh told you all?" Immediately the tension in your little circle of friends spikes. Felix's hand is practically between your thighs, gripping your thigh like he owns you. In any other circumstance you'd probably enjoy this, but every single one of your friends is suddenly looking at you like they'd never seen you before.

"You hot people disgust me," India finally breaks the tension flippantly, and everyone else cackles with laughter. Felix does actually grin at her, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"No we don't," he teases gently, and India tries to continue playing at being annoyed, by insisting that she needs something stronger than the bar could offer. As she stands, she looks back, holding out her hands to you and Felix.

"Come on, disgusting hot people; I know you're both already high and probably want some more."

"Knew there was a reason I liked you, India," you grinned, glad to have escaped that encounter without much of a mental or physical scratch, though Felix does make a point of grabbing your ass as you stand, even with India holding his other hand.

However you're another line deep in the bathroom, with India, Felix, and two of the others who'd followed along, when that good mood evaporates. Oliver stands in the door, waiting, watching; you're the first to notice him, to catch his gaze properly, but all he does is clear his throat. Felix looks to him when Oliver finally calls his name, but pointedly acts like he doesn't in the next moment.

"Can I, er, talk to you for one second?" Oliver asks faintly, but is met with no response. Instead of looking at Oliver, Felix momentarily flicks a frustrated gaze at you, like he feels your sudden discomfort and fidgeting is a personal betrayal, "you can't ignore me forever," Oliver tries, but Felix gives him a cold smile.

"I can try."

"Fi," you hissed, but all you get is another glare.

"Felix, we need to talk," Oliver was begging now, but he turned his attention to you, pleading, "can you get him to please listen to me, just for a moment -" but his words have your heart freezing in your chest. You can't even stutter Felix's name out before he's dismissing you both.

"I tried being nice about this," Felix huffed, "but if you're still insisting on playing Devil's Advocate for him, the both of you can fuck off and go bother the rest of the party." He relights his cigarette, but he doesn't even look at you once. One more time you try, reaching out, apology on your tongue, but he shrugs you off and finally gives a cutting look, "no I told you, okay? You're over it; fucking great for you. I'm not, and I don't have to be, so piss off and be over it away from me."

You stand, momentarily unsteady on your feet before you regain your balance and head to the door. Everything in your mind is a mess of emotions. The drugs and alcohol are sending you into overdrive, though neither is the reason you're feeling so sick. Still, while you know where Felix is coming from, one look at Oliver as you reach the door and you can't help but stop. Turning back, you hope Felix can read how damn hurt you are by all this;

"I'm not a monster for having a heart, Felix."

And you take some small victory from the surprise in his eyes. Before he can respond, however, you grab Oliver's hand and lead him away.

With another two fruity drinks, you and Oliver sit on the edge of the fountain outside, watching the revelry, mirroring each other's weary slump.

"How are you finding your birthday party?" You asked lamely after a few minutes. Oliver took a few moments to deliberate, while you sipped down your drink quite quickly.

"Don't know anyone," he says mildly, "and the people I do know think I'm a joke -" right, he'd heard Felix's earlier comments about the group from Oxford's feelings, "and I was aware kind of from the start of knowing youse," he casts his gaze to you now, turning to you, eyes meeting yours, "that my two best friends were bonded like those cats at the shelter, the kind you can't separate from each other or they'll cry all day and refuse to eat until you put them back together," the smile he gives you is humourless, and doesn't even reach his eyes, "but one hates me and the other has no spine," he shrugged like he hadn't just insulted you, going back to people-watching, "so I don't think it'll go down as my best birthday ever."

"I have a spine," you scowled, as if straightening your posture proved his point at all.

"Why? You don't need it," still as mild as before, Oliver takes a long, loud sip of his drink, "you've got Felix."

"I'm trying to help you, Oliver, I swear -"

"You don't know how to stand up for yourself, Y/N," this time, the look that he gives you is simply pitying, "I'm sorry I asked you to try and stand up for me." The words ache like a punch to the gut, "you're not even trying to help me for me, or for how much you supposedly love me; you love that I love Felix."

"Oliver, I love you!" You insisted through angry tears and gritted teeth, "how your mind works, how you figure things out, the books you like, the way you're constantly watching and cataloguing and remembering, it shows you care about the world around you and the people in it. I love that you're obsessive and ambitious and that you can be ruthless -" it comes out messy and unrehearsed, but you slowly see the shock and genuine awe on Oliver's face as he comes to terms with the fact that you're being genuine. For the first time all evening, you think you see guilt in his eyes. It's gone too fast, Oliver turning away.

"I love you too," he says gently, following it carefully with, "but we both know who you crawl into bed with at the end of every night." Then, under his breath, sounding so forlorn, "do not separate."

"Oliver-" but he stands, stretches, and finishes off his beer.

"He's probably already missing you, waiting to forgive you," he puts his empty beer bottle down on the edge of the fountain, and for just a moment, he reaches out and gently holds your face. Nothing is said, but there's endless, unreadable emotions in his eyes as he gazes into yours.

Then he's gone.

Making your way back to the estate itself, you forgo looking for Felix, half ashamed of the idea that Oliver was right, and instead slip beneath the velvet rope that cordoned off the upper floors of the house. Back in your bedroom, the stash of coke Felix had raided before the party was still reasonably well stocked, and the bottle of bourbon that you'd stashed in the broken piano last Christmas was thankfully untouched. There was something seriously sad, you think to yourself, about drinking and snorting alone in your room, upstairs from a party where you know your friends are all doing it too. But you don't want to see them. Don't want to see anyone.

The remainder of yours and Felix's matching outfits taunt you silently from the closet door on which they hang. They're beautiful and vapid and cold; you hate them.

"Oh, sorry, didn't realise you were -" it's Felix at the door - of course it is, who else would it be? - who startles you out of your thoughts. There's no frustration in his eyes anymore, no anger, just surprise. His gaze roams over you, from the drugs balanced on your knee to the half-full bottle cradled in your lap, "you okay?" Oliver's right, of course. Oliver's right about a lot of things.

"Yeah," you sniffle, taking another swig of the drink, "what did you need?"

"Think they're gonna sing happy birthday to Ollie soon," Felix leans against the doorframe. You share in an awkward silence for a long moment.

"That why you're here?"

"I came up to see if there was any of that coke left from before," he says, looking at the mirror on your knee and the still mostly full baggie on the bed next to you. Then, he gives a sheepish little grin, "yeah," he admits.

"We should be down there," you say without thinking. Felix's expression falls, and he kicks at the doorframe for a moment, "you do care about his family," spills from you; you're not even sure from where. Felix's expression grows darker.

"Why are you so insistent about doing this?"

"Because you love him, Felix," you remind him firmly, before putting down the bottle and rolling up the already significantly curved bill beside you, "and he loves you, and you know that," picking up the mirror, you make short work of the last line to avoid looking at Felix. Dragging your finger across the glass, you pick up the last of the residue, wiping it on your gums. Your hands remain busy as you pack the remainder of it all into the little, wooden box it was kept in, as you spoke, "you hate the parts of you he figured out, the buttons he learned how to push; Oliver," you snapped the box shut, looking up at him, "was too good to be true, and that's why you're hurt; you're scared it's like Eddie all over again, too good to be true -"

"You shut up about Eddie -" Felix warned, but you stood, box in hand, approaching him with a fierce, intoxicated determination.

"Eddie was never too good, you were just in love! Eddie wasn't even loyal!" You cried, shoving him with the box, letting out a desperate sentiment that you'd let fester in the darkest part of your heart for over a year, "he was never going to be loyal! He never loved you as much as you loved him! Never! And you were so blinded by how happy he seemed to be with this 'better life' you were offering him, you could never bloody see it -"

"You are drunk and high," Felix spits at you, clearly holding himself back from tears.

"But all I ever want is you to be happy," hanging your head, you push the box into his grip and stumble back to the bed, searching for the bottle, "why can't you trust me about this?"

"Oliver fucking lie to me, betrayed me -"

"Us!" You shouted, unscrewing the lid with vigour, "to keep you in his life. You just don't like what the lies he used to keep you around say about you." And with that you furiously started chugging more of the drink.

"I'm done with you," Felix's voice is weak, hands coming up to cover his face. Lowering the bottle, all you can do is stare at him. It's like you've been splashed with ice water.

"Fi -"

"I need space; I need you out of my room for the rest of Summer."

"Fi, please -"

"I thought you were fucking better than this!" He snapped, finally stalking away, while you were too disorientated to even go after him.

The first thing you manage to do is stumble to the bathroom and throw your guts up into the sink. Physically you feel a bit better, but the nausea you can now tell is psychological. Downstairs, though you don't know how much time has passed, the house has transformed itself into a rave. Too bright. Too hot. Too sticky. You think you catch sight of Ollie, but your gaze quickly moves to Felix, silhouetted by neon and haze, looking like an angel. Beside him, India sparkles and giggles and her hands are all over him. You want him to be happy, you don't want to interrupt but you have to -

Someone catches you before you faceplant in the middle of the dancefloor, and it turns out it is Oliver.

"You look like a bit of a mess," he says, aiming for a light, joking tone, but it almost sets you off. Seeing you about to start crying, Oliver starts to panic, and suggests the two of you get some air. Though you want to protest, you see Felix and India, hand in hand, making their way to the side doors. Oliver, champagne in one hand, has his other arm under yours, supporting you as the two of you made your way out too.

The night air is cool, a sharp contrast from inside, so sharp it almost stings.

"I should'a kept my mouth shut," you whimpered, "I didn't need a spine, why did I listen to you?" Oliver is simply quiet, listening to you ramble, getting the gist of what had happened between you and Felix as you slowly made your way to the maze.

"I don't wanna go in," you whispered at the entrance, looking down it's tall, green corridor. Oliver looked at you strangely.

"Worried you'll get lost?"

"I could never get lost, Felix made sure of that plenty of times." Carefully, you extract yourself from Oliver, sitting cross-legged by the entrance of the maze, looking out over the rest of Saltburn with your back to the hedges; Oliver watches you curiously, "I can wait for Fi here."

"I can't wait," Oliver finally says, "I don't have the time. I have to try."

You, surprisingly serene and content with your decision, more at peace than you'd been during the entire walk over, make no attempt to stop him. You just tell him you'll be here when he gets back. This time you genuinely smile, insisting he go in without you.

"I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."

So he goes, and you listen to his footsteps retreating. After a few minutes, however, he returns.

"I think you need this more than I do," and he hands you the bottle of champagne he'd been carrying. Turns out there's only really a quarter of the bottle left, but at least you think it won't be enough to make you sick again.

As frustrated as Felix could get, he's never not forgiven you. That's all you can think about as you finish off the bottle.

You would apologise. You would make it up to him. You could make this better again.

Except...

Hang on, wait, who was that who just ran out of the maze? Someone ran out of the maze? You were pretty sure someone did anyways... maybe India, if Oliver had confronted -

Oliver is the second to escape the maze. Instead of heading directly back, he waits, unseen for Felix to leave, observing the way he'd stumble out, not even glancing around enough to see you on the ground in the shadow of the maze itself. Once he was sure he was alone, Oliver crept over to your catatonic body, mouth agape, bottle still clutched but empty in one hand. Still breathing, though it was shallow, he checked your pulse only to feel a heartrate like a humming bird. If he called out now, Felix could hear him, could get help, could save your life.

But Felix would want for nothing as long as he had you by his side.

When you start convulsing, Oliver leaps away, startled. But he watches, and remains quiet. He takes the bottle, and just for a moment presses his forehead to yours.

"I'm sorry," it almost gets caught in his throat, "I loved you, I promise I did."

And he leaves.

Oliver wakes to a knock on the door. While Felix doesn't exactly seem happy to see him, it appears he has bigger things to worry about.

"Is Y/N in here?" He cuts right to the chase; there's dark circles under his eyes.

"Have you gotten any sleep?" Oliver yawns. Felix shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"I've checked literally every other room in this house," ignoring him, Felix explains himself, "I told them last night I wanted them to stay somewhere else, but I didn't mean it," he frowns, peering around Oliver as best he could, trying to see for himself. Oliver, who already knew this, but still played dumb, went wide-eyed.

"You didn't talk to them last night?"

"I was talking to them a lot last night -"

"They were waiting outside the maze for you; they were there when I left."

Oliver's never seen Felix run so fast.

It takes Duncan informing the rest of the family over breakfast that a gardener has spotted Felix sat by the edge of the maze for the past hour, to clear up his whereabouts.

"And have you heard from Y/N?" Elspeth adds, though Venetia buts in.

"Probably at the maze with Felix," she rolls her eyes; Oliver looks at his eggs, his runny, sickening eggs, and keeps his mouth shut. Elspeth sighs and requests someone go and collect them, tell them that lunch is ready, and promptly directs a smile at Oliver, asking how he'd enjoyed his birthday.

Oliver's halfway through an awkward thanks, assuring her it was grand, before Duncan re-enters. For the first time since Oliver first laid eyes on him, he looks genuinely shaken.

"I, uh, I do apologise," his words keep getting caught, and he can't seem to focus his gaze for too long, "I have some tragic news; Captain Y/N has passed away."

The world stops.

Felix Catton sits in the shadow of the hedge maze with you, his best friend, the love of his life, dead in his arms.

"I thought you were fucking better than this!"

His last words to you echo endlessly in his head as he cradles you to him. He'd found you slumped over at a painful angle, clearly having been sitting cross-legged on the grass, waiting, just as Oliver had said, still wearing part of the outfit you'd prepared. You looked so cold, so he'd wrapped you up in the robe he'd been wearing, maroon; you'd always said it was your favourite of his, but you'd never wear it, said it looked better on him.

"Can't believe I made you wait," it wasn't the first time he'd muttered it since finding you, "I'm so sorry, I won't do it again," he assured, and leaned in, pressing his forehead to your cold shoulder and collarbone, "and I didn't mean it about needing space from you; I couldn't even do it for one night, I got so lonely I spent the entire night searching all hundred and bloody something rooms we have, for you."

"Felix?" Venetia's voice is the first one he's heard since Oliver's, and it shakes, "Feef?" And maybe it's the way he can tell she's started crying, or the nickname he hasn't heard since he was six, but it all hits him at once. Finally he starts to cry, the shock giving way to anguish as Venetia drapes herself over him at the sight of you. Farleigh goes into shock, silent, falling to his knees before he brings his head down too, completely shutting down.

Oliver doesn't know how to react, doesn't know if he can. He stands back from the others, back from even James and Elspeth, silent. He did what he had to do. It takes him a long time to realise he's even started crying too.

Elspeth and Sir James try to keep up a sense of normalcy around the house, but barely anyone is able to keep up. Farleigh and Venetia show up and barely speak, Oliver can't bring himself to even look at anyone at the dining table, and Felix hasn't shown up for three days straight. He's been locked in his room, and none of them blame him.

None of the others know that he comes out at night. Well, he opens the door during the day since the staff have started leaving plates of food for him at his mother's request. But during the night, Felix leaves his room to crawl into Oliver's bed. Oliver never makes comments, but he always makes room, and Felix still hasn't kicked him out of the house. Small steps to victory.

"All those lies, all that shit you told us, you did it because you'd do anything to keep us around," on the third night, Felix speaks into the darkness, back to Oliver under the expensive sheets.

"To keep you around," Oliver corrected quietly, "I knew as long as I had you around, I would have them too." After a few moments, he could hear Felix start to sniffle. Carefully, testing his luck, Oliver shuffled around to face Felix. Wriggling closer, he draped an arm over Felix's chest and pulled him close, pressing himself against Felix's back. In the moment, Felix takes Oliver's hand and laces their fingers together.

"They always loved you, Felix; I never saw anything like it."

Small steps to victory.

At your funeral, Felix finally sees your parents. He wonders if looking at them is anything like looking at the idea of who you would have grown into. He doesn't think so; their expressions are so cold beneath their performance of grief.

They do, however, seek him out, ask his name, and hand him a framed photo. They say they won't be needed it anymore. It's you and Felix beneath the Eiffel Tower, arms around each other, each of you using your free hand to together form a heart between you, laughing at something just off camera. Oliver makes a disdainful remark about your parents, but slips his hand in Felix's, and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

Elspeth asks if Felix wants to keep the photo in his room, and when he remarks that he doesn't know, she suggests it gets placed with the other family photos over the fireplace in the television room. It fits in perfectly.

"I love you," Felix mumbles in the dead of night, pressed up along Oliver's back, lips in his hair, arm around him, "like proper love you." Oliver is quiet, "the kind of love I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but now I'm terrified that the reasons I love you aren't even real."

It's been a few weeks, he's intergraded back into life at home, but has taken a leave of absence from Oxford. As has Oliver. He still hasn't left Saltburn, he wonders if he ever will, if he ever has to.

"What parts?" Oliver said, voice barely more than a whisper, "I'll never lie to you again; I want you to know the truth of me." There's a rush of electricity, his fingers and toes feel all tingly; he doesn't want to sound too enthusiastic, but can't help but feel a giddy rush.

"I like how you can figure heaps of stuff out, but," Felix hesitates and hums, "I don't think I like what you figured out about me," he admits.

"I'll never bring that up again," Oliver reassures him, but Felix just hums once more, "and I figured out more stuff about you, good stuff; I figured out what made me love you too."

Felix presses a kiss to the back of his head. He doesn't smile, but that's to be expected nowadays. Felix doesn't really smile a lot anymore.

But Oliver takes it for what it is; his victory.

{ epilogue }

[vintageaustin]

i takes strength to forgive but...

pairing: Austin butler x y/n

Summary: Austin cheated on you and now he's back

Warnings: Angst angst angst mentions of cheating uhm... Cursing mentions of a break up and mental health

It's been months since you last saw austin. you swear you had nightmares from that Saturday in july. you got a phone call from your boyfriend you two had been dating for about 3 years, you haven't seen him in weeks at that point, and was so excited to talk to him, in excitement you picked the phone up. the only thing you didn't expect to Hear him and some girl moaning.

sure it hasn't all been Sunshine and rainbows, but the trust that he betrayed and the confusion that still lingered, he took EVERYTHING you loved and crushed it between his two fingers, you haven't talked to him since it happened, it's been 5 months he tried to contact you he tried trough you’re friends, family hell he even wrote you a letter saying how much you mean to him and  how sorry he is.

you told them you didn’t care and said you were fine. but they knew you couldn't let it go. You tried and tried and….. tried again,  and if he ever thinks about the damage that he did, but you held onto every detail like your life depends on it… So here you were on a random Thursday night. At 2 am fantasizing about everything he'd say he's a little fucking sorry until you heard Baning on you're door. you frowned, sure you didn’t live in the best part of the city.

But this was a first,  you opened the door and your heart stopped for a minute and all you wanted to do was scream, there he was… looking a mess the smell of alcohol hit you the moment he stepped closer. “A-austin W-what are you doing here..?” you mumbled as austin cupped your face.  “i miss you, I miss you so much baby i was so goddamn stupid.” he muttered as he walked both of you back into your apartment. 

you remembered the countless arguments you won in your head, in the shower, the car, the mirror before bed  you name it. every time you hoped he’d feel sorry. and here he was standing in front of you and you couldn't get a word out. and here he was apologizing over and over again, 

after a whole while you spoke up “do you ever think about the… damage that you did…? cus i hold onto every little fucking detail austin, i tried to understand why you did this to me. were you so unhappy?” you spoke as he interrupted “no baby not at-” he stumbled over his words. “Austin, let me talk,” you said and sat down on your couch. “I really wonder how anybody could do the things you did so easily aus… like did I deserve it..? I try to be tough and I try to be mean. but even after all you did you’re still everything to me…”

you said as tears streamed down you’re as you looked  up you saw the tears stream down his face. you blinked your tears away before continuing. "And I know I hurt people, hurt people and we both drew blood but cuts were never equal austin, you had everything and you still wanted more i-i dont get it.” you spoke with your chest “i never did anything but be there for you and support you..” you said choking in your tears. 

‘i… i was drunk, it didn't mean anything, and when i heard you cry on the phone y/n i… I snapped back to reality, you are the only one for me …. it's always been and always will be you baby, i'm so sorry… I'm so sorry I haven't been here  for you, i… can we restart? I know I don't deserve it but… please can we restart?” he pleaded 

you sighed softly ‘it takes strength to forgive austin and.. I'm not sure I'm there yet, I guess…  i'll give you another chance… but we take it slow my pace.. okay? you asked softly 

Austin nodded “thank you thank you thank you.” he said. and grabbed your face and kissed you softly he had his girl back he couldn't be happier. you on the other hand felt … scared to give him your heart again… 

the evening ended with you falling asleep in Austin's arms.

[wewerebornsextuplets]

what would kenny say if he could see his family now? would he be happy at how far his daughter has come? would he feel pity for his wife, seeing how grief has changed her? would he still wish for his family to be together? (<- insane)

this ask is absolutely diabolical. i cannot thank you enough for giving me a chance to talk about kenny more in-depth. unfortunately most of this ended up being context for how he thinks + a bit of further exposition on mayumis relationship with her parents [since family is a big deal to kenny and well. yknow], so the actual answers are a bit further down but i hope this is still at least a little illuminating 👼

one thing thats important to know about kenny for this to make sense, is that he has some very strong values and beliefs surrounding the idea of family. while i wouldnt exactly describe these ideals as him being "family-oriented" in the traditional sense, its more like... okay. you know how older people, usually in their 50s and 60s, all seem to be capable of talking at length about That One Relative they despise, how they wish they could have nothing to do with them, because nothing good ever comes of it, but then they end their diatribe by going "well, they're still family, so i love them"? kenny's like that, hes committed to family to a fault. obviously there are still things that he would consider as going "too far" or irreconcilable when it comes tothis, but his tolerance for that is much higher than it probably should be.

to this point, i think even when he was still alive, he could tell that tears were beginning to form in the family dynamic that weren't solely caused by his inevitable passing. its not something ive discussed much here, but mayumi actually wasnt on very good terms with her parents before kenny got sick; she left home and started her career as a gravure model when she was 20 as a means of "sticking it" to her parents' more traditional wishes, and she was unhappy when she was living with them, but never actually did the work to figure out What was so wrong with the situation. as such, when kiru was born some years later, and she started to settle into life with kenny, she began to recontextualize her dissatisfaction with her parents' treatment of her as her just being a bratty teen. so, when kenny got sick, and she decided their best bet financially would be to move in with them, kenny agreed, though he viewed it as something of a necessary annoyance because hey, they're family.

even still, in the last year or so before he passed, the effects of living in the family home again paired with the inevitable realization that kenny was Definitely Gonna Die were becoming more and more apparent, primarily through how mayumi acted towards him and to kiru. he could tell she wasnt taking the process lightly at all, but part of him hoped that after his passing, she would be able to move on and mayumi, kiru, and her parents would be able to continue on as a family unit without him. he thought the bitterness between them and the cycle of mistreatment was just something theyd have to "work through" or "get over" because theyre Supposed to be close, though i dont think he ever said his out loud.

so, i think if kenny were to see the family structure now with full context, he would be pretty upset and confused that things didnt go quite as he'd hoped. i dont think he would blame them for going no-contact after the incident at christmas, but he would certainly be unhappy with the fact that things reached that point in the first place. there's a lot that he wished could have happened differently [esp. once kiru became an adult and left to live on her own, as well as some of the decisions made in the months following his death], though he was quite even-tempered + logical when need be, so i dont think he would really be able to find it in him to stay angry at either party for very long [though he'd certainly be mad about the concussion. physical harm is one of the aforementioned "okay even i think this is too much" bars for him wrt familial conflict, even though mayumi herself was also very freaked out by herself in this instance]

with mayumi as a person, more than anything i think he would just be very sad about her resignation to a life of isolation now that he's gone; he'd hoped that theyd be able to "get over" their differences and become closer now that circumstances were easier for them with him gone. but again, i dont think kenny really understood the full breadth of the emotional abuse mayumi endured, especially since mayumi herself never really came to grips with it. and having never endured that himself, he isnt able to wrap his head around the fact that its the sort of thing there isnt ever any "getting over". its a very naive take on family conflict, borne out of his own inability to really understand incompatibility in this sense + familial abuse due to his lack of experience with it. this same confusion and upset also applies to how things shook out with mayumi and kiru, though i think he was more understanding in this case since there was a physical aspect to it. but past that he just wishes mayumi could find it in herself to move on and meet new people, that she might be able to be happy again in spite of all of this. its a strange mix of pity, confusion and a tinge of anger.

as for kiru though... theres no question that kenny would be immensely proud of the person she is today. to put things into perspective here, he was born and raised on chichijima, and sickness aside, only ever left for long periods of time when he was attending college. he regards this as being the most difficult thing he ever had to do, and its a decision HE made! so for kiru, who went through so much more than that and made the move at a much younger age than him, to STILL come out on top with a doctorate and a nice job? that on its own is enough of a feat in his eyes. but past that i think he would also be very proud of the kind of person she is, since she really is just such a sweetheart and is incredibly level-headed. he'd be very very happy that she managed to do so well for herself even after all that went on, and that she managed to find such a wonderful group of friends who love her [joblessness aside. though i dont think he'd really gaf if we're being honest]... and furthermore i can see him really liking her and keiko as a couple HEHE

furthermore, i imagine kenny would be pretty happy that kiru at least stayed in contact with SOME family on her mom's side, since again, hes still quite family oriented in a strange roundabout way. he would definitely be confused as to why it was yanagida of all people, since they didnt visit one another very frequently before the move and always seemed to be bickering with each other After they moved, but hes happy nonetheless

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

what is the story of you and violet like how did you start and how did it reach to where it did, of course only if you’re comfortable. ( i’m not trying to mock you or make fun of it, ik what you went through but since you said anything personal, i have wanted to know this. i’m interested in things which are none of my business. i pray im not sounding rude, i really want to come of as nicely as i can, but i can’t)

whole story below the cut, there’s a tldr at the end bc i added a load of unnecessary details. js brace its kind of a long one.

so we met when i was 12 and he was 15. i remember it was june 2020. i didn’t like him at first—got sort of a weird vibe. but then i got to know him more and, by september-ish, he became one of my best friends. by november, i thought of myself as having a crush on him (i didnt know i was aroace at the time) but i never made a move bc he was dating one of my friends, lets call her jude. we talked pretty much every day. i had to leave our friend group for safety reasons but he was my source of contact with the rest of my friends. i think we mainly talked on discord at the time?

flash forward to new years eve of 2020, and something happens. i’ll spare you the details, but needless to say my devices got confiscated. i still remembered his discord id, so i got my best friend to msg him and tell him what happened. i also got my favorite cousin to do the same, so he’d have two ways of talking to me.

keep in mind, my best friend and cousin both had it in their minds that i had a crush on him, so they’d both try to get him to like me. in june i think he broke up w jude. my cousin was also in regular contact with jude on instagram, so i got to msg jude at some point after the breakup and i distinctly remember her saying she’d be okay if i dated him but she personally was so unhappy w him. i didnt get that, but i think i later did

years pass w barely any contact. december 2022, i start dating someone else. january 2023, i realize i chose the absolute worst person and i break things off. then april 2023, i manage to get in contact w violet. we start dating the next day. (here he’s told me that he’s genderqueer he/she, but later he denied this)

i talked to him anytime i could and he'd send selfies a lot. i was scared about my parents so i asked him not to. he'd do it anyway. i didnt ask him to stop after that

he wasn’t necessarily a bad boyfriend, i js didnt rlly feel. idk. special? i’d make playlists for him and send voice recordings whispering “i love you” in arabic but i never got any of that back ig. the first few weeks were the best but after that? nothing. i’d send pics and he’d call me pretty and hot and say he’s so lucky to have me. later i found out he called every girl pretty when he’d see a pic of her.

i self-harmed for the first time when i was with him. what he did was ask me to send a pic of it so he could check if its bad. i told him i was suicidal. i dont remember what he said.

and then came june 15th, 2023. what a day. i talked to him at like midnight my time. i remember the last thing he asked was for me to send a selfie so he could show me off to his friend.

then my mom found out. and i was so scared of her getting angry at me that i downed 16 pills and got rushed to the hospital.

my mom didnt get angry. but my devices were confiscated again. and i couldnt talk to him. keep in mind, he knew i was suicidal. i was expecting some kind of response from him through my best friend because he was still talking to her at the time, but i didnt hear anything. instead, nine days after i tried to kill myself, on the 24th of july, he broke up with me. 

i didn’t blame him. when your suicidal gf ghosts you for nine days ofc you’re gonna wanna move on. it’s not his fault. i js felt kind of lonely, yknow? on the 30th i managed to log into my acc to talk to him, to explain everything, n all i saw was a breakup msg. i dunno.

in october-ish of 2023, i managed to get thru to him. i explained everything. he didnt give much of a response, but he did ask if we could keep talking. i said sure. we did keep talking and i invited him to tumblr bc i had more of a presence here than anywhere else. when my mom confiscated tumblr in november, i continued talking to him on google chat

in february 2024 he was my valentine js bc we were both single and alone and we thought itd be fun. i wrote him a letter. he didnt make me anything but its fine. you get the idea we were getting closer again

by this point i realized i wasnt receiving the amount of love i deserve, and i was kind of sad bc he’s not a muslim and i am, so we couldn’t get married, therefore we wouldnt have a future together (i’m the kind of person who wouldn’t have a relationship w someone if it won’t lead to anything in the long-term). he told me he wouldn’t become a muslim or study islam for me, so i respected that. i wouldnt forcibly convert him. but i also acknowledged that i couldn’t be w someone who’s not a muslim, so i asked him to stop talking to me. he said okay.

he’d still reblog stuff and send me asks—he even asked me to write a poem about him for my follower event. but around that time i had kind of been getting drained from exams and i didnt want boy problems on top of that, so i asked him to stop all contact w me. he respected that, as far as i know. he wished for me to have a nice life. i wished the same for him. and i blocked him. i havent talked to him since then at all, i dont think

so yeah. kind of lengthy story thats a whole load of nothing. i dont want you to go bother him about this. he was my friend before being my boyfriend, and he was with me during a dark time in my life. i respect him and i ask for you to please not send hate towards him. think what you will, just dont bother him. i’d be happy to answer anything else, but i think i js about covered everything.

tldr; we met when i was 12 and he was 15. we dated starting when i had just turned 15 and he was almost 18. he broke up with me after i attempted sewerslide. we continued talking for a while after reconnecting but i cut him off again last feb for religious reasons and we havent talked much since.

[leo-kinnie]

King if you started ranting about (any) Sandro for hours even days I'd be sitting listening to you with starry eyes- please rant please rant please rant

Ooh, how about CF!Sandro's fav place?? And I wanna know how sandros role was in episodes like portal chopped (? Was that the name) and Mind Meld 👀

-☆staranon☆

So many days biting my tongue on ranting about Ash.... oooh...

Sand's got multiple fav places!! All for different moods, obviously. But the place that holds a special spot in his heart is the very top of Central Park Tower!! its the place he goes to sit down and daydream/let himself experience negative emotions in solitude, since Sand doesn't want his little brothers ever seeing him unhappy.

Bonus piece of knowledge: Raph is the only person who knows abt this specific spot and its importance to him + is the one to go seek out Sand if he's gone for too long.

long ass text under cut

OHHHH okay so in the episode Portal Jacked (U MEANT THIS ONE I THINK???), Sandro Also got split up from Leo like the rest of the brothers. In my mind Leo makes a LOT MORE wailing comments about how "if Sandro was here he'd SOOO laugh at that" "I'm missing my hype man, so, Hueso you need to step it up!" "Everything reminds me of him..." and he's looking at the ugliest green splash of paint

Whereas Sandro was freakin' out internally because um. um. um. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITHOUT LEO RIGHT BESIDE ME. Dude is basing his entire personality off of that brother he doesn't know how to act without him.

Honestly it goes pretty good overall bc Sandro gets to let a bit of his personality shine through during those moments relaxing with his other brothers. But then it goes back to normal when they're reunited and Sandro says, and I quote, "That shit sucked."

THE MIND MELD EPISODE IS MY FAV ONE I'VE ALREADY SPOKE INTENSIVELY ABT THIS ON TWITTER (when i HAD ONE) SO I REMEMBER IT ALL. Sandro DOESN'T get Donnie-fied like the other brothers because his dumbass walked off before the machine was turned on. Like, Donnie is at the control panel, SEES Sandro there, and then looks down and when he looks back up he sees Sandro off to the side chewing on one of his wrenches while the others are smart now.

So Sandro helps Donnie when he wants to un-smart the brothers, altho he's hilariously out of his depth because Leo is not LEO anymore. So he'll have moments going Ummm wanna go read comic books? And Leo will not only turn him down but say some fancy jargon about being above comic books and Sandro is just

because what the fuck was 60% of those words.

Would also like to state that Sandro is the one who half-heartedly suggested the beachball idea and was extremely surprised when Donnie praised him up for the idea and actually USED it. He felt like this

Donnie had a cute little speech at the end when all was well like Maybe we can work together. Maybe we do have common ground, my fortunately less-intelligent brother. And because of that, I would like to reinvite you to my lab.

Sandro went starry eyed and said really ?! I'm not banned anymore?? And then proceeded to get banned again after biting Shelldon's rotor.

[drpeppertummy]

ok Dis Claimer this is like so tiny & all over the place & doesnt have an ending and what it really needs is to be scrapped and rewritten entirely but im sick of messing with it & i want it out of my sight so im just posting it as is

[stuffing, button pop]

Gray didn't think he could eat another bite.

Actually, Gray had thought that very same thing at least an hour ago, but Sunny had been unintentionally stuffing him all day long. It had started that morning; he'd invited Gray over for French toast and filled him up with a bulky, sugary breakfast. Unable to finish his own--his tummy was much smaller than Gray's--he'd passed off the last few bites to his bigger friend, who had kindly put them away for him. Those last few bites had left him feeling a little too full.

Following breakfast, the two had gone on an errand spree, and, at Sunny's insistence, had a few snacks along the way. Sunny seemed to digest things much more quickly than his friend did, and while he'd been full by the end of the trip, Gray, who hadn't had a chance to recover from breakfast, had been utterly stuffed. His belly had bulged out conspicuously over the seatbelt during the ride back to Sunny's place, though Sunny hadn't noticed.

By the time they got back to Sunny's apartment, Gray was about ready to lay down and pass out. They'd stopped for lunch on the way back, and while Gray had tried to get something small, it was still far too much. Now, his shirt was stretched tightly over his distended belly, threatening to ride up, and the waist of his jeans was squeezing him uncomfortably around the middle. His jeans had already been a little too snug when he'd first put them on; he'd gained more than a few pounds since buying them and hadn't gotten around to looking for a new pair. Now, they were barely holding on, and the button creaked ominously as he sat down beside Sunny on the couch.

His belly was spectacularly round, pushing out absurdly as though he'd swallowed a beach ball. Fullness didn't typically show on him the way it did on skinny little Sunny, but right now, it was more than apparent. Still, Sunny, ever distractible, didn't seem to notice. He had a million and one things on his mind, and it wasn't long before he was up again, scampering around the apartment trying to accomplish a multitude of tasks. As much as Gray wanted to doze off on the couch, he supposed he should help his disorganized friend. With a soft grunt and an unhappy belly rumble, he pushed himself off the couch.

One of the many things Sunny was currently trying to do was test out a new recipe. Gray, feeling too lethargic to remain standing, sat on a stool at the counter. His belly felt unbelievably tight and heavy, and he felt like he might pop if he tried to fit anything else into it. Still, when Sunny asked him to taste test, he did. And he did again, and again, and again. His stomach, already well beyond its limit, stretched tighter and tighter with each bite, and the button of his jeans creaked as the pressure beneath it grew.

Finally, it was one bite too many. The button popped off and the fly snapped open, and his too-tight shirt rode up slightly as his belly was freed from its constraints. Gray's face flushed deep red, and he hid behind his hands, absolutely mortified. Sunny stared at his bloated tummy in surprise, not sure how to respond. Then, setting his wooden spoon down, he gave it a gentle pat.

"I guess that's my fault," he said, placing a hand on Gray's shoulder.

[I DONT KNOW HOW TO END THIS. GOODNIGHT]

[scourge-sympathiser]

dont worry abt needing to add anything i just wanna share this idea b4 i forget it but also i dont rlly know any1 who likes warriors so,,,

okay i saw a little animation on utube about fallen leaves and while i was reading up on his wiki it hit me

in outcast, after jaypaw has been having dreams about fallen n his death, n after meeting him while looking 4 the missing kits in the tunnels, fallen asks him to stay but jay declines.

what if, unhappy w/ being forced to be a medcat, and wanting to live his *own* life he accepts? and a similar thing to what happened to holly happens where the cave entrance collapses (whether fallen and jay had smth to do with it or it was just convenient, idk), n everyone thinks that jay died saving these kits. but really hes living his best life in the caves. fallen teaches him how to hunt and fight well, bc the caves are dark, 's not like you can see very well even if you weren't blind.

and jay starts having the dreams where he's jay's wing, back in the ancients time, and its a little different where instead of having a crush on halfmoon he (jay's Wing) had a crush on fallen before fallen died in the caves. and thats why jay brings up the idea to leave to the mountains. and when he ends up back in the present he realizes that he once again has a crush on fallen.

and fallen remembers, or recognizes jay as jay's wing and is like "oh... Oh!" and realizes he also, once again, has a crush. and so jay choses that as his full name. Jaywing.

jay starts walking in dreams and having visions of The Battle, and at this point its been a couple of years at this point, the whole thing w/ ashfur happened and the gathering where holly tells after killing ash happens, and jay finds out through holly's dreams, bc shes projecting her own fears, anger, and insecurities hard while she sleeps. and that really makes jay upset but then he talks w/ fallen and comes to the conclusion that it doesnt matter who his real parents were, bramble and squirrel are still his parents to him.

eventually with the battle looming on the horizon, and rock urging him to go, he leaves the caves. and returns to thunderclan. n fallen can follow him due to his powers, and at first the clan think jay is a rogue or loner, but its dove who has Never seen him before who mentions that he's blind just from observing how carful he puts his paws down that everyone freezes before going "jay???"

and oh mouse dung, hes no longer a grumpy, scrawny medcat apprentice. he's still on the shorter side but he filled out, muscle no one thought he'd have ripples beneath his coat, he's as strong as a *warrior*. and has the skills as one, too. he can hunt and fight as well as the rest of them, its almost like he isn't blind when he's actually in the zone. but he still bumps into things n trips over roots or uneaven ground.

and yeah the Battle happens and he's out there, using his starsight to fight along side fallen leaves, until the battle is won and fallen reunites with his family, and is torn between staying with jay in the caves and actually going where hes supposed to. jay tells him to go, he'll be okay, and to wait for him.

but wait, if cats can be reincarnated and have powers... why can't the tribe of endless hunting and starclan let him properly live where he left off? so hes given another chance and put back into the tunnels with a physical form, and meets jay again and joins him in thunderclan.

idk thats what i have sorry abt rambling!!

ok actually i kinda lov this? im a suckr 4 ghost romance & jay being like ok actually fuck yall........... i would perhapz move the kit thing a little further down the timeline so tht jay is a bit older tho, maybe

like the idea tht part of why fallen asked for him to stay waz a hint of fimiliarity tht just growz & one day he just like... Seez it on jayz face whn he wakez up from a dream about the ancients- or like maybe jay callz him by a nickname from timez long since passed, tht kinda thing? on one hand im like yea on the other the trope of "i like u bcuz u remind me of a dead personi loved" isnt my fav but like a little sprinkle isnt bad

interesting 2 think of wht would happen 2 hollyleaf with her escape into the cavez long since blocked off by both rockz n the truma of loosing a sibling.... like, doez she stay in the clanz? might be fun if she ended up living in the field tht crow & leaf once tried 2 leave thru, but also he awkwardly still being in thunderclan..... lov tht

n well i just Cannot care about the battle i do LOV jaywing coming out of the tunnelz just likle hai guyz whtz up :3 as if he didnt fake his own death.... also the idea of jay using his dreamwalking ability 2 just check up on his family & see how thy r like. Doing

idk about fallen coming back with a body bcuz tht seemz like more thn starclan or endless hunting could do but also it would be VERY VERY weird 4 fallen 2 come back w/ the regular method of being reborn a kit.......... pursonaly i think it would be fun for him 2 stay a ghost but no longer be attached 2 the cave system- instead just exploring & hanging out with jay who can alwayz sense his presence- other catz somtimez catch glimpsez but hez not like. very tangible most timez.... many catz think jay probably just lost it a little in the tunnelz, not tht he rly goez around like hey evry1 herez my ghost make he just talkz 2 himself, laughz at seemingly nothing, tht kinda thing

..... honest 2 god didnt mean 2 add this much im holding myself back, evn,

[pippuns]

Thinking about in from the cold and The Emotion Zone... Au where after the fistfight wol doesn't want to fight anymore and wants zenos to learn what made wol happy so the emotions in the emotion zone make wol and zenos swap bodies and then the scions emotions make the teleporter appear and tp wol onto the ship but its not wol its zenos pretending to be wol and now zenos has to live wols life

WOL GETS LEFT BEHIND IN THE EMOTION ZONE OH NO. man :((

no one's happy in this au. zenos lost the one thing that actually made him want to live, and the scions lose their friend, and wol doesnt get to live and go back to a low stakes life in the end.

i dont think zenos would ever be able to pretend to be wol; this isn't the ending he wanted for himself (and i dont think the ending in that place of nonexistence was what he wanted either; he died unsatisfied and i'll die on this hill) so i doubt he'd bother putting up the effort, but after in for the cold i'm sure the other scions are hyper aware of this kind of thing happening again, especially since endwalker was like The Worst Week Of Wol's Life so it wasn't that far back

unhappy times for everyone!! angst galore :^)

[igotyouniverse]

Breathe Me - Chapter 1 [nct vamp au]

Description: After dropping out of college and coming home for the first time in two years, 22-year-old Ava Lee gets caught up in a mystery surrounding the people she thought she knew for so long. Between friendship, affairs and true love the young women finds herself being pulled into a  nightmare she would never wake up from.

Pairing: Oc x Taeyong , Oc x Johnny [several side-pairing involving Mark, Ten, Lucas and Jaehyun.]

Included Members: Taeyong, Johnny, Mark, Lucas, Ten, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Haechan (maybe more)

Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst, Action, Fantasy

Warnings: none (this chapter)

suggestive content, strong language, violence, blood, death. probably more, not sure yet (later chapters)

a/n: Here it comes! After years of procrestination I finally managed to write the very first (very boring) chapter of my vampire au with nct! Anyway, the main drama will start in the next chapter so stay patient and bear this one with me. It took me long enough, haha. All the warnings will be for later chapters so don't start reading if u dont feel like reading stuff like that qq If someone wants to get tagged please send me a message, ask, comment or whatever qq

I really hope you guys enjoy it, it was a very heavy birth. ♥

ch.2 || ch. 3

                                                   †

The girl sighed deeply and took a look outside the small airplane window. She saw how the plane slowly drove into the prepared parking lot and felt how her level of anxiety rose with each second. Even though the flight was 18 hours long and her legs started to hurt she didn't want to stand up. Standing up meant for her to actually leave the plane, get her luggage and meet her family which would sooner or later lead to them asking all these questions. It wasn't like she didn't miss them.

She missed them very dearly. She missed the Sunday morning brunches with her neighbours, the movie nights where her dad would always pick out a movie because he'd pout if not, she even missed  her little brother Mark bursting into her room without knocking and asking her some totally stupid questions. She missed catching up with her best friend. She missed all these sleepovers when all they had to worry about was who the cutest boy at school was and what they'll do together once they were adults. She craved for all these past memories. The last time she set foot onto this ground was two years ago at her very first spring break after leaving home, moving to a town thousand of miles away, not knowing anyone.

She heard a beeping noise which indicated that the passengers could stand up and get out but she waited. All of them seemed in such a hurry to leave the plane, grabbing their belongings, everyone trying to get out first which ended in a crowded queue inside of the plane. She stretched her legs as much as possible, not making the slightest move to stand up.

Her eyes wandered back to the window, allowing her to take a glance at the sky, she wished to be into again. It was still quite bright outside, even though it was nearly evening, the sun nearly blinding her when she looked up, leading her to cover her eyes with her hand. The sunsets were so different in the States than here, in South Korea. Her eyes tried to focus on the slowly fading sun, leaving the sky in beautiful pinks and oranges with just a hint of soft white clouds.

Her mind started to spin, thinking about all the things she had to explain to her family sooner or later. But for now she needed to stay positive and hide the fact that she – the oh-so-perfect – student managed to drop out of a university, her parents nearly went insolvent to pay for to allow their daughter to get the best medical education they could think of. At the beginning the girl actually thought that it was her biggest dream to become a famous surgeon but after a short while she had to face the ugly truth that the job she so desperately wanted to do as long as she could remember just wasn't her thing.

She tried so badly to keep on and thought that it's just a phase every young adult went through when they started university but every time she talked to her friends at university she saw that that wasn't exactly the case. Everyone was so focused and motivated to become a successful doctor or surgeon they underwent the torture of endless sleepless nights, insane pressure and the feeling of not being able to even cut an onion correctly, which the professor didn't even care to make better. Every day she got told that she would never be able to work in the medical field and could try herself with some more basic and easy studies. It didn't matter how hard she tried to remember all the lectures and do her assignments – she failed miserably at everything.

Of course, her family didn't know. She was way too afraid to burst the bubble her parents created around her, leaving her in that perfect, white spotlight, portraying her like some sort of angel on a pedestal for everyone to see. They loved to talk about her in front of everyone, telling them that she'd be a successful surgeon, working hard and publishing groundbreaking articles, making herself a name in the medical community. Maybe even getting some famous award. Everyone in that small town knew about the smart daughter who got into one of the best medical universities in the United States, who worked so hard she was barely home.

She couldn't bear to see the disappointment on their faces once they see what she really was – a failure. She managed to hide her dropping out of university so well, she created her web of lies carefully over the last year, she sometimes even believed what she was saying. But as soon as her alarm clock went off, remembering her to go to work at a small corner café to pay her rent and even save some money in case her parents might throw her out, she had to face real life again. The life in which she dropped out only one year after starting, loosing hundreds of thousands of dollars and leaving the incident in her resume forever.

She was glad she got a job in the café as it belonged to the parents of one friend she met at college, who managed to get in because of a scholarship. They allowed her to work as much as she could to save money and even helped her sometimes.

“Excuse me, Miss?”, a soft and gentle voice made the girl leave her deep thoughts and look up. A beautiful, young flight attendant smiled down at her. “You need to leave the plane, please.”, she said in sweet yet demanding voice  and got her luggage out of the cabinet above for her. The girl didn't realise that the plane was already as good as empty. She thanked the attendant, grabbed her bag and went out of the plane into the airport, feeling her legs shaking more with each step she took.

She pulled out her smartphone, turning off flight mode only to get bombarded with dozens of messages, mostly from her mom asking if she already landed and that they waited for her at the gate. After that she only texted emojis. Hearts, heart-eyes and some other stuff which made her feel even more anxious. How could she disappoint a mother as proud as her? No, she needed to keep her secret for a bit longer. Maybe until her brother messed up. But what could he possibly mess up which would overshadow her dropping out of college? Maybe if he committed a crime.

Mark was different from her, She didn't know how but he actually managed to tell their parents that he doesn't want to become a doctor or lawyer, and instead insisted of becoming an author or journalist. To say her parents were unhappy would be an understatement. They were more than angry and told him to pay the tuition himself. They believed it was just a small teenage dream he had but when he finished High School and started working at the local bookstore to save some money to actually study creative writing they realized that he was serious. That small incident happened just 14 months ago, yet he continued to work there and save up. He even managed to visit her every couple of months, as she didn't want to come.

When she arrived at the luggage claim the suitcases were already out on the baggage belt and she waited as long as she could, watching her lonely suitcase making its turns on the device, purposely ignoring it until it was the only one left and she had to grab it. Her phone vibrated in her pocket again.

Mark [06.07pm]: Where r u?

She rolled her eyes and just put it back in the pocket of her jeans as she headed towards the exit. The girl took a deep breath, putting on the brightest smile she could manage and stepped out of the doors. Her family wasn't hard to notice. Her parents held a way too big and bright  banner in their hands

WELCOME HOME AVA

Ava tried to keep her smile up and waved at them. “Oh, honey welcome home!”, her mother shouted as she lowered the banner to hug her daughter tightly. “I'm so happy you're finally home again, our doctor!.”, she said and patted her back softly. She felt her dad joining the hug and giving her a warm smile as well, joining her mother in telling her how happy he was to have her back home. Ava clenched her jaw, trying to smile as honest as possible.

“You're really squishing me to death guys.”, Ava chuckled and was glad when her parents finally let go of her. She looked up and saw her brother Mark smiling at her.

“Come on, give your favourite sister a hug.”, the girl laughed, making her brother chuckle before embracing her in a loving hug as well. The last time she saw him he visited the campus a few months ago. Of course he didn't know she dropped out then and nearly choked on his water when she told him. She knew he wouldn't tell their parents but he thought it would be better if she told their parents as soon as possible, which she didn't of course.

“Happy to have you back.”, Mark said and squeezed his sister one more time before he let her go and took her suitcase.

Ava stretched her body slowly before getting into their car, really not wanting to sit down for another hour but apparently she had to. As soon as she sat down and put on her seat belt her mother turned around to look at her and smiled.

“Tell us, honey, how is Stanford? Is it going well, yes?”, she asked and Ava felt like she needed to throw up.

“Yeah, everything is fine. I handed in all assignments last week and I have a good feeling.”, she chuckled and felt guilt crawling all over her body. She smiled slightly and turned her eyes away to avoid her mother proud gaze, yet she could feel Mark eyeing her.

“Ah, that's so great, honey. Your father and I just talked to the Lee's from across the street and they told us their son wants to apply to Stanford, too. We told them you could talk to him and give some advice.”

“Sure.”, she just sighed and pulled out her phone again, hoping her mother would understand her silent plead to leave her be. Her mother smiled again and turned back to talk to her father about what she'd make for dinner on this special occasion.

Ava checked the other texts she got, scrolling through them. She smiled when she saw a text from her best friend, sending her a picture from her in her nurse uniform. She looked so cute, proudly standing in front of the mirror in the dressing room, posing with a finger heart.

[Ava 06.54pm] Cute! Just landed, on my way home. Wanna hang out later?

[Yunmi 06.57pm] Can't. Night shift today but pick me up tomorrow morning and get breakfast? The café next to the bookstore finally opened!

[Ava 07.00pm] absolutely! Can't wait. Miss you so much ♥

She scrolled through the remaining texts just to feel a little disappointment in her body after not seeing what she so desperately wanted to see. But then again, she didn't expect to see a text from him after he ignored each and everyone of hers the last two years. He didn't even care enough to wish her a happy birthday in November so he probably couldn't care less texting her when she came home.

She sighed lightly and looked outside the car window, seeing how the landscape came and go in front of her eyes and how the sky got all these beautiful colours in it, she could even see the moon already. A wave of tiredness crashed over her exhausted body as she decided to close her eyes for just  a moment.

The girl felt someone poking her arm multiple times, calling her name.

“Wake up, we're home.”, she heard Mark say and groaned, before rubbing her eyes.

“Yes, I'm awake, you can stop poking me.”, she said when her brother continued to poke her arm with a grin on his face.

“Don't make me hit you.”, she warned and slapped his hand away.

“Pff, please.” he answered mockingly and jumped out of the car before her fist could reached his body.

Ava chuckled , getting out of the car stretching her stiff body slowly, hearing all her joints crack at once.

“How old are you? 80?” Mark said teasingly, getting out her suitcase from the trunk.

“Trust me, I feel like it.”, she yawned loudly and slowly got up the stairs to their house.

She inhaled the sweet and calming scent of her mothers vanilla candles as soon as she set foot into the house, taking of her shoes before she walked further inside. It hasn't changed a bit. The beige coloured walls still had pictures of the family on them. Ava smiled and looked at the picture of her and her family from her Highschool graduation three years ago. She smiled when she saw the exact picture her parents had chosen. Mark and her making some weird pose while her parents rolled their eyes.

“Honey, dinner will be ready in half-an-hour, okay?” she didn't realize that her mother was standing right next to her and flinched a bit.

“Yeah, sure, thank you, mom. I'll start to unpack then. Love you.”, Ava said, kissing her mothers cheek softly before going up the stairs into her old room where Mark already put her suitcase and bag.

Her room hasn't changed either. Of course, it looked a bit colder as she took all her personal stuff with her to the US when she moved out, but it still felt comfy with it's cozy beige sofa and her queen sized bed, which her mother already prepared for her. She closed the door behind her and looked outside the big windows, which connected to a small balcony, which was only hers. She remembered how mad Mark was when she got the room with the balcony and not him and grinned. She stepped outside for a moment to breathe in the still warm air, listening to the rustling sound of the trees as a mild breeze blew through them.

The small wooden bench she made herself with her dad back when she was younger still stood in the very same corner and even had pillows on it and a blanket, indicating that someone still used it even while she was gone. Probably her mother when she wanted to have some time and space for herself, she thought and smiled before going back into her room.

She stretched her stiff body once again before squatting down and opening her black suitcase to unpack her things. Ava only brought some clothes and other necessities with her as she didn't believe of staying home for a longer period of time. She rented her tiny apartment, or as she preferred to call it, her shoebox to a friend from university who looked for her own place as long as she stayed with her parents so she didn't need to worry about paying rent. So she just packed her essentials and hoped to keep her pretty little lie for some more months to figure out what she actually wanted to do with her situation now. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to stay in Stanford . She just knew, she didn't want to stay here in this tiny town where everyone knows everyone.

She loved the size of New York, she loved the vibes, the people and even the stink it had. It was charming in some kind of way and she enjoyed the anonymity she had. She liked living in the famous city which never sleeps but it didn't feel like a complete home to her yet and maybe never would. Not to mention, that she was just working in a café which was barely enough to live so she needed to get something more permanent very soon. But she had no idea what that could be. Maybe she'd apply to another university, maybe she didn't want to go to college at all. But what were her options anyway?

Ava groaned, throwing a stack of clothes into her closet in frustration, before squatting down again to fold them neatly. She felt her phone vibrating in the pocket of her jeans and sighed when she saw the name of the person who messaged her blinking in front of her. She opened it and thought about her answer for several minutes before she decided to ignore it for the moment and maybe get back to it later, unsure about her wanting to meet the sender or not.

She furrowed her eyes as she looked at the clock hanging at one of her walls, showing that it was way later than she expected and her mother still hadn't called for dinner yet. She put the last of her belongings in the connected bathroom she shared with her brother and checked her phone to make sure she didn't receive a text from him telling her dinner is ready. Ava didn't realize how hungry she was until she thought about the dishes her mother was probably busy making and her mouth started to water. She really missed good Korean food. There were quite some Korean restaurants in New York but of course nothing tasted as good as her mother's home cooked meals.

Just as she wanted to open her door and check downstairs she heard her mother shout from the kitchen that dinner was finally ready. She opened her door and could already smell the kimchi and meat her mother apparently made and couldn't wait to finally taste it.

“Coming! I'm getting Mark”, Ava shouted back and wanted to knock on Marks door, telling him to come down but the boy who opened the door wasn't her brother.

“Oh, hey Ava. Haven't seen you in forever. How are you?”, Johnny asked, seemingly surprised but a small smile appeared on his pretty face.

He hasn't changed a tiny bit. He still looked as gorgeous as three years ago when she left and never heard of him again. His hair was still black but a tad longer than before. It framed the contours of his face just perfectly which made it hard for her to look away and think about how she was mad at him for ignoring her for the past years, even though the last thing she remembered with him was actually something very nice. Or that's at least what she thought it was. Apparently he thought differently and had to treat her like air. Not even daring to step a foot in their house when she came home for spring break once.

“Umm, fine. Are you staying for dinner?”, she asked, trying to sound as calm as possible but she couldn't hide a tint of anger in her voice, yet the anger mixed up with other feelings she was way too bad at hiding.

“Yeah, I invited him. He basically lives here anyway.”, she heard Mark say behind Johnny who didn't seem to sense her displeasure over his invitation. Why do they have to be best friends? She asked herself and secretly hoped for Johnny to disappear or something. But of course that wouldnÄt happen.

“Please, the food gets cold, come down.”, she heard her mother saying from the foot of the stairs with her hands stemmed in her hips, still wearing her red-dotted apron.

“Actually, I'm not hungry.”, Ava said taking a step away from Johnny as his simple presence made her legs feel stupidly weak.

Her statement got quite unbelievable when her stomach started to growl from the heavenly scent of her mother's food.

“Doesn't sound like it.”, Mark said and raised his brow looking at his sister questionably.

“I'm really not hungry and I'm meeting a friend. Can we postpone our family dinner to another time?”, she said while purposely emphasising the term family to show her displeasure about the clearly unwanted guest guest.

Before her mother could answer something Ava ran down the stairs, giving her mother another short kiss before running outside, leaving her house behind.

She took a deep breath before letting out some vulgar curses towards the situation and especially the person causing her to still feel all these things.

Ava pulled out her phone and messaged the only person she could think of, who might get her thoughts somewhere else, even if she might regret it in the morning.

masterlist

[toorurot]

say no to this but it's drarry !!!!!

—widower draco

—ok but even when astoria was alive nd married to draco she alr knew his heart belonged to someone else

—years of unhappy marriage bc draco !! wants the bespectacled blockhead called harry potter !!!! and not some woman his parents approved of

—harry married to ginny !!! kinda a sad marriage tho :( he loves ginny, he rly does. but he cant help but yearn for the blonde boy he hated for years

—drarry constantly thinking about that one night they shared with each other in 5th year !!! it was in the ror and draco just . crumbled completely :( harry was there to witness it all— draco coming apart, draco holding onto him as if it'd save his life, draco falling asleep in his arms. harry realizing he'd never been as peaceful as he was in that moment. that night they weren't fighting on opposite sides of the war, they were just two boys finding solace in each other ))): no gryffindor vs slytherin bs, just desperate sobs and whispers of 'shh we're alright.' :((((

—anyways draco nd harry do see each other again when draco finally snaps and decides to follow his heart. fuck what his family thinks! harry is worth all the bs he's bound to face ++he's waited far too long :/ not being with harry physically hurts

—so they meet nd it goes like this: harry and draco see each other in a muggle coffee shop. (yes it was a wednesday. ofc it was A Wednesday) obviously this Was Not an accident ! draco knew harry would be here (he did some snooping around) harry,, he's stunned bc after how many years he's still a goner for the slytherin asshole who hated his guts.

—draco walks up to him nd kisses the fuck out of the man,, harry kisses back. ofc he does, he's been dreaming of this moment for years.

—harry ends up paying for a muggle hotel room. they dont talk, they dont need to. they just feel. !!!! so much pain nd yearning !! that's when it hits harry tho— he is A Married Man !! but god draco looked as helpless as harry felt ): this was wrong, harry knew it was wrong but god how could something be wrong if it felt so right?

—so harry n draco share another night. they cry, they touch, they kiss, they whisper sweet nothings to each other. it was like 5th year but so much More !! this time it's harry who slips out of the room before the other wakes up tho :(

—draco wakes up to an empty bed. he understands tho. harry is a married man. it's not that easy either bc this is The Harry Potter nd not just any married man

—it doesnt happened again nd maybe for the better. maybe their nights together were just meant to serve as a reminder that each other is something they could never have :(

gn I Dont Know what this is just . Drarry brainrot !!!! i should go to bed hhhhh

[katphantom69]

Sweet Dreams.

((Just some writing of a soft moment between my sona and the master of dreams))

"Its been a long time since you visited my realm child, do you not wish to see me? Have I angered you in a way?" Nocturn asked as he approaches the demigod who was sitting on a storm cloud high up in the night sky.

"The last time you had a decent amount of sleep was around 50 years ago. Is something wrong?" He asks gently placing a hand on one of the small ghosts shoulders.

Kimera hummed at him, not turning around as she watched more storm clouds gather. Vortex was planning a huge storm that would last all night and some of the morning as well.

She soon turns back to face the dream god and chuckles.

"The day you anger me will be the day the world comes to its end. I dont think its possible." She says as she stands up, shrugging Nocturns hand off her shoulder.

Nocturn lets out a soft chuckle before a look of concern appears on his face.

"That still doesn't answer my question child. Its been 50 years since you've had proper sleep... why?"

Kimera sighs a bit, unhappy.

"Because... well because..." She starts, lifting her hands up unconsciously as she trys to explain what was wrong.

Nocturn lays down on the cloud, enjoying the sounds of rumbling thunder as his husband's storm approached. He pats a spot at his side so Kimera could come over and lay down.

Kimera sighs and walks over to Nocturn, flopping down next to him, resting her head on his side.

Nocturn hums a bit, not saying a word. He'd let Kimera speak when she was ready.

For a while none of them said anything. They observed Vortex work on making it thunder and rain. Despite the loudness of the storm, Nocturn found it quite soothing and relaxing. No night was better than a stormy night to get some rest.

Finally Kimera sighs and speaks up.

"Nocturn I can't sleep." She says looking up at the dream lord with sad eyes.

"Every time I try my dreams twist into wicked heart wrenching things. I see mistakes of my past unfold before me once more. I see every loss of dear loved ones again and again. I... I..." she paused again bringing her hands up to her face as she had unexpectedly started to cry.

"I see... twisted visions of the other gods." She says softly.

"I see them look at me with such disdain, coldness and apathy. It... it hurts." She says covering her face to sob into her hands.

"It hurts for I do not feel like I belong in the pantheon with all of you and my subconscious while asleep just makes it worse." She says, a bit mumbled as she sniffles into her hands.

Nocturn looks at the small god sadly. He gently pulls her into a soft embrace humming softly to try and sooth her.

"Hush now child, do not weep" he says softly

"For those visions are just dreams and nothing more. Yes the loss of loved ones will always lay heavy on ones core, but its best to remember the happy times when they were still around. Memories come and go in the mind spontaneously. Some are good, some are bad and its hard to control which come to the surface while one is sleeping. But what you can do is acknowledge the memory and think of all that you have changed since then.

We have all made mistakes in the past." He says rubbing the smallers ghost back to sooth her.

"I know I have. Big horrible mistakes that we look back to and wish we'd never done.

But we did, and we've learn to grow and move passed that. We learn from our mistakes and move on. They'll come back to haunt us at times yes, but just remember that you are not the same person you were back when you made those mistakes. You've grown, gotten better and learned from those mistakes so you won't make them again."

He gently picks her up in one hand and uses the other to move her hands and gently wipe her tears away.

"Do not weep anymore. You've grown, you've learned and have become a god in your own right. You've done incredible things and achieved feats that most would deem impossible. So do not doubt yourself anymore little one. You have well earned your place among us. We do not look at you with disdain or apathy, well, I know I certainly don't, on the contrary I am quite proud of you and what you have become." He says with a smile.

Kimera looks up at him and cleans her tears.

"Really?! You are?!?" She asked incredulously.

Nocturn chuckles and rubs her head with one of his fingers, being careful to mind his claws.

"I wouldn't lie now wouldn't I?" He says with a gentle smile.

"And if any god ever gives you any trouble, just send them over to me. I'll take care of them." He says clenching one of his hands into a fist, eyes glowing brighter for a moment.

Kimera gave a soft smile up at the dream god.

"Heh, thanks Nocturn. This talk helped a lot." She says as she slumps onto his side yawning.

Nocturn chuckles a bit.

"Seems like you're all tuckered out. What better place to get some rest than under a stormy sky at the side of the dream god himself?" He says giving a soft yawn as well.

Kimera curls up besides him and closes her eyes.

"Well... if you insist." She mumbles as shs soon dozes off.

"Good night Nocturn."

Nocturn smiles curling up to rest with her.

"Sleep well little one. Sweet dreams will come to you at last."