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qqueenofhades · 4 years

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Okay, y'all. Time to do this one more time. Let the fact that there are so many of these posts right now reinforce the point. Many of you already know this, and I see and love you, but for anyone still ~undecided about their choice, should they be an American citizen of voting age on November 3, 2020:

Time to not be. It was time a long, long while ago, but I am going to have to say it again.

Primary season is over. The endless fine-tooth combing of candidates' policies and positions is over. We are all deeply well aware that the candidates on the Democratic ticket, being human beings and establishment politicians, are flawed. "BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS POSITION FROM 19/ 20-WHENEVER AS JUSTIFICATION FOR WHY IT'S TERRIBLE TO VOTE FOR -- "

No. Stop. Just stop. Stop threatening to hold the rest of us hostage, in the middle of a pandemic, the Great Depression, and racial inequality and protests on a scale not seen from the 1960s, because you did not get Barbie Dream Candidate. That is the behavior of terrorists and toddlers. If your supposedly enlightened morally pure ideology does not involve any action to mitigate the harm that is directly in front of you, it isn't worth a shit as an ideology actually devoted to helping people. If your approach to politics is to shout about how Pure your ideas are on twitter and tear down anyone working within a system of flawed choices to do the good that they can: you're not helping, and frankly, your constant threats to withhold your suffrage as a punishment to us aren't convincing the rest of us that we really need to listen to you or that you have anyone's best interests at heart. The Online Left TM is as much a vacuous, self-reinforcing noise chamber as the Online Right TM, and can sometimes tend to be even more dangerous.

I was saying this in 2016. A lot of us were saying this in 2016. I am just about to turn 32 years old and have been voting in federal elections for almost 15 years. For what it's worth.

This is not an ordinary election. This is not a contest between two flawed candidates who respect the system and want to work to enact their policies in the ordinary way. One is a flawed 90s era Democrat who nonetheless has already been pushed CONSIDERABLY left in his policies and platforms since the end of the primaries (and his existing platform would already make him the most left president elected, even more than Obama). The other is a fascist dictator who has openly spoken about refusing to accept the election results, his desire to abolish term limits and serve for life, and complete the pillaging of any remaining fragile American public funds for him and his cult of cronies. He does not respect the system. He does not want to do anything for anyone that is not himself. 160,000 and counting needless deaths of American citizens have already happened. Will keep happening.

This is the last time Trump has to face voters. This is the last chance the country has to repudiate his entire poisonous ideology and its marching Nazi minions. IF he steps aside, which is already far from guaranteed, he can ride off into the sunset as a vindicated two term president and probably be rehabilitated like George W. Bush was within a few years of leaving office. American political memory is very short. It will happen. Again, if he even leaves.

RBG is 87 and has cancer again. She will NOT survive another four years. Stephen Breyer is 81. Their seats could both come up in the next four years. The Supreme Court could be a right wing rubber stamp for whatever time we all have left before climate change and coronavirus kill us all.

"But if people just thought for themselves and did their homework and didn't vote the party line like sheep, we could support a third party/write in -- " Stop. Just stop. Attend a ninth grade civics class and learn about how politics work in America. Yes, the two-party system sucks. Yes, the Electoral College is a hot steaming pile of absolute bullshit. Magical unicorn fairy dust fantasies WILL NOT change that.

Do not vote for Kanye (who has pretty much openly admitted he is trying to play spoiler to Biden on behalf of his buddy Trump). Do not vote for godforsaken fucking Gary Johnson or Jill Stein who appear on ballots just to give sanctimonious leftists the illusion of virtue-signaling. If you want any chance of fixing the mess that 2020 has left America and the world in, you need to vote for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. The end.

Biden is a flawed old man who was our last choice, sure. He is also a distinguished public servant who has already been in the White House for eight years under Obama and thus we KNOW what to expect. He is an empathetic man who connects with people's personal tragedy and picked as his running mate a younger Black/biracial woman who directly confronted and called him out on past behavior. While the pundit class was simpering and whining about how it was Disrespectful and how could he consider her, Biden did so, and that speaks well to me of the fact that he is willing to learn, to take criticism, and not just accept it from a former Black female rival, but make her his second in command and the potential first female president of the United States.

Can you EVER picture Trump doing that? Not in eight thousand million years.

As for Kamala, we are all aware of her previous checkered history as a prosecutor (and even then, she did plenty of good things as well!). Since joining the Senate, however, she has consistently become one of its most progressive members. She is the co-sponsor of an economic aid package designed to give every American $2,000/month, backdated to March (the start of the coronavirus pandemic) and continuing at least a few months after its end. A Biden-Harris White House could make that happen. Especially if they are put into office with a Democratic House and Senate (for the love of God, Kentucky, kill Mitch McConnell with fire). That is just one example.

Harris's nomination is obviously historic. And Biden didn't choose another Biden (or another Tim Kaine, the blandest white man imaginable). He chose another Obama: a younger rising star of an immigrant background, a person of color, a former lawyer and someone who represents the diversity of the country that the white supremacists and the Cheeto in Chief have tried to paint as its worst and most degenerate evil.

A vote for Biden and Harris means getting rid not just of Trump, but Mike Pence, Vladimir Putin, Jared Kushner, Betsy Devos, the Trump crony destroying the Postal Service, the rampant coronavirus misinformation and bullshit, the destruction of Social Security and Medicare, the spread of Nazi propaganda from the President's twitter account, the likely two Supreme Court picks that would be as bad as Brett Kavanaugh or worse... on and on. Biden and Harris would be elected by progressive voters and thus answerable to them in 2022 midterms and 2024 general. They can both be, and already have been, pushed further left. They are reasonable and competent adults who have demonstrated experience and compassion. I KNOW about their flaws and past actions I don't agree with. But I'm frankly done with any more counterproductive straw man bitching about This One Bad Thing They Did and how it makes it a terribad awful choice to vote for them. Open your eyes. Look at the alternative. LOOK AT WHAT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED AND THE FACT THAT THIS IS NOT EVEN AS BAD AS IT COULD STILL GET.

Check your registration or register at vote.gov.

DO NOT LOOK AT POLLS AND DECIDE "EH BIDEN IS CLEARLY GOING TO WIN, I DON'T NEED TO VOTE." THAT IS HOW WE LOST LAST TIME.

Unseating incumbents is HARD. It is even harder when the other side has openly laid out their plan to cheat in great detail, and there is nothing really stopping them from doing it. The only thing, in fact, is massive, unfalsifiable results on an undeniable scale.

So:

Vote.

Vote for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

Thanks a lot.

#hilary for ts #politics for ts #rant #long post #i will be reblogging this periodically as election day nears #haters/trolls will be blocked out of hand

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lessonsfrommadamexmas · 4 years

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EREN JAEGER AND THE ENNEAGRAM TYPE 6

First of all, to my followers, please excuse me. This account isn’t for SNK but it’s the one I have and I wanted to write this.

Secondly, I hope this post finds the fandom lol. But if you’re expecting this to be another meta to judge Eren’s actions, don’t waste your time. The enneagram is a tool of understanding, not judgement, and I just wanted to share one thing I appreciate immensely about Eren’s characterization.

Well, why don’t we start with chapter 137? There, Zeke states that life’s purpose is to propagate and it’s core fear is to be extinguished. In other words, from the moment we are born, our organisms need to survive. As humans, we are on our own: suddenly, you gotta breathe on your own; the food is no longer provided. Everything is scary. A baby cries because everything is hard and far away and something in their biology tells them to keep fighting to survive.

Now, onto a more spiritual approach. In El Eneagrama de la Sociedad, Claudio Naranjo says that several cultures have their own ideas and tales regarding a disconnection from a primordial state of wholeness. Once born, we become individuals and are separated from the Universe, as if we’re no longer in sync, and something is lost in the process. How can we survive? Our defense mechanisms start with that question. We need love, we need resources and we need to stand our ground in this cruel, but beautiful world. This, on the enneagram, is called “childhood trauma”.

What I want to do in this post is to break down Eren’s character development through the lens of the enneagram, but for that, I need to give you an overview of the system. It is cruel and beautiful, just like the SNK world. It sees us with care and understanding but it also exposes the harsh truths we don’t want to see.

The enneagram, first and foremost, is an ancient symbol, a figure of nine points connected within a circle. There’s a lot of fascinating history to it, but I’m gonna focus on what matters to this post. The enneagram is a personality system that encompasses nine essences of the Universe, and once our childhood trauma sinks in, we attach to one type which defines our worldview. Here’s how each enneatype manifests itself:

Type 1, the reformer: this person seeks to not make mistakes. They are principled and meticulous in everything they do but highly critical of themselves and others.

Type 2, the helper: this person seeks to be needed. They are proud of their independence and helpfulness but believe they can only receive love if they give first.

Type 3, the achiever: this person seeks to be worthy. They are motivated and ambitious but shape themselves around what is expected of them.

Type 4, the individualist: this person seeks to build their identity. They are sensitive and creative but reject the ordinary and focus on what is harder to reach.

Type 5, the investigator: this person seeks to be a specialist. They are perceptive and curious but withhold themselves and their resources and worry they’re never prepared.

Type 6, the loyalist: we’ll talk about it in a moment.

Type 7, the enthusiast: this person seeks to avoid pain. They are joyful and spontaneous but afraid of facing hardships and being swallowed by negativity and sadness.

Type 8, the leader: this person seeks to be strong. They are fierce and protective but don’t allow themselves any vulnerability and need to be on top.

Type 9, the peacemaker: this person seeks to be in peace. They’re kind and their inner stability is unshakable, but have a hard time asserting themselves.

So what does it mean to be a type 6?

Some of you might not believe if I told you that Eren is moved by fear. But that’s what it is. The type 6 represents fear itself. It’s our search for safety and support. The person who is a type 6 has disconnected from their inner guide and they don’t believe they have the same capability to make decisions as everyone else. That is more of an unconscious state, which manifests through an overly alert stance. Sixes are always on the lookout for threats and danger, their minds work predicting things that can go wrong, so they can be prepared. In other words, the type 6 fears how imprevisible life is, because they truly don’t find in themselves the compass to the answers they need “in this very moment”. They have to be one step ahead and they have to find outside structures for support, people in whom to trust and who’ll give them the guidelines and sense of balance. Fellowship and loyalty are essential to the type 6 as they look for reassurance in their concerns.

In Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery (1996), Don Richard Riso has described nine levels of development for the enneatypes. They are the path from our healthy, healed state where we’re closer to wholeness again (Level 1) down to our most broken state where we’ve abandoned ourselves (Level 9).

When we start Attack on Titan, Eren is on Level 6. Here’s what Riso says:

“In its innocent forms, counterphobia is well employed by people to master their fears — for example, children who are afraid of the dark might purposefully go to a dark room to overcome their fear.”

Eren, too, wanted to overcome his fear since he was a kid. He wanted to go outside and face those faceless titans. He wanted people around him to be prepared, but since the Garrison was incompetent and lazy, he needed to be prepared. Grisha seems to be Eren’s first authority figure. From what we know, Grisha allowed Eren to have his own thoughts and didn’t impose anything on him, which is a kind of reassurance. Thus, with his father, Eren felt more understood.

Carla, on the other hand, wished for Eren’s immediate safety and cared about him living a quiet life. But that also means she couldn’t understand his concerns, and the type 6 interprets that demeanor as vulnerability — his mother is more exposed to the threat. If the type 6 is a room where nobody is vigilant, the only option they see is to step up and become hypervigilant.

This relation to an authority is very specific for the type 6 as they search for people and systems in whom to rely on. Since the Garrison aren’t the most reliable soldiers around, Eren turns to the Survey Corps. That section of the military consists of the rebels, those who want to explore the unknown, understand the titans and figure out the best way to fight the enemy. The SC wants to be free, so they become Eren’s next “authority figure”.

Riso also says that the type 6 in Level 6 has a more aggressive stance and wants to prove to others that he isn’t indecisive and can’t be pushed around.

“They blame and berate whatever threatens them. They become rebellious… and are desperate to latch onto a position or stance that will make them feel stronger and dispel their feelings of inferiority.”

The type 6 feels inferior because they feel lost inside. Eren, too, knows that the threat lurking behind those walls is much bigger than him and a single human doesn’t stand a chance. And he berates people around him for not seeing what he sees, or for disrespecting his “heroes”.

Eren will be back to Level 6 later, embodying other aspects of it, but let’s talk about the moment he joins the army.

At this point, Eren reaches the stable position he has been eager for. He is part of a group and working towards his goals, he feels more confident because he’s preparing for the next attack. He has climbed to Level 4:

“The security which groups and institutions provide far exceeds the strength of any individual members...”

As we know, Eren sees his mission to eradicate all titans also as a social responsibility. The type 6 can easily fall into “us versus them” mentality where they are putting effort into something and will trust only the people who understand the importance of it. Eren’s bickering with Jean, as well as his admiration for Reiner starts from there.

“And even within their own group, average Sixes make it their business to find out who is pulling the weight and who is not... If others are not loyal or committed, it not only makes them angry, it threatens them.”

Eren talks over and over about how he’s going to join the suicide squad, to the point people start making fun of him. But he is testing everyone’s commitment to the cause of “fighting titans” and he finds people like Jean, who only really want their safe life, as well as Reiner, who is dedicated and understands him immediately. Reiner becomes his new “authority figure”: whenever Eren’s failing, Reiner is there to understand him, to offer help and to remind him of why he’s there.

“The loyalty of average Sixes for the people with whom they have identified is almost without bounds. They find it extremely difficult to break their emotional bonds, even should they desire to do so… Their love may, in time, turn to hatred but never to indifference.”

That one speaks for itself. It’s exactly how Eren felt upon RBA’s betrayal. He’s in total denial about Annie, while for Reiner/Berthold all he has left is rage.

Choosing who to trust is part of the type 6 identity. All of their beliefs, all their inner world is shaken if they are betrayed, because the network they build is how they find a safe space for themselves in the world and how they orient themselves. Annie was Eren’s parameter of fighter, Reiner was Eren’s parameter of leadership. The first backstab is too hard for him to process, we see it all unfold. He can’t admit she’s a traitor, and he doesn’t even have the will to transform and fight her.

The second one, however, is embraced somewhat faster and he’s even able to contain himself and play along. But it doesn’t change how deeply it affected him and how vengeful he gets. Years later, that hatred would dissipate, but never to indifference — Eren still feels a need for some closure between them.

I got ahead of myself on the timeline, so I’m going to rewind to the moment Eren joins the Survey Corps, which is his childhood dream. Erwin is his main authority figure now and you see that, even though Erwin locked him up, he trusts the guy. As Don Riso explains, the type 6 on Level 4 plays by the rules of his group because he strongly believes in those rules and they bring comfort to their minds. In reality, the SC doesn’t really know what they’re doing. Erwin himself doesn’t know how he’s gonna cross the walls and find out the truth. But Eren is devoted to them. Their cause is his cause and he knows how hard it is but what matters is they’re trying. Besides, they embrace him. They want to reach the basement and want to defend him on the court and want to investigate/use his titan power. Thus, for Eren, the SC is the most solid and welcoming place to be. He’ll do whatever they want from him.

However, Eren was about to find out that things were far from glorious out there. Although the Survey Corps work under strict “plans” that soldiers are supposed to follow blindly, Eren can’t just watch people being sacrificed to protect him. Especially when he has enough power to act in a more significant way than those individual humans. But how much control does he have over his own power? Eren can’t answer that, and he feels immensely conflicted as soldiers continue to drop dead.

In that moment, Levi could’ve forced him to follow his orders, and perhaps that would’ve eased his mind when he chose not to transform. But the captain is a different kind of leader than Erwin, and he challenges Eren instead:

And I really appreciate how fitting that is to the type 6 conflit. It’s very difficult for them to accept it, sometimes there simply isn’t a clear path, sometimes it is okay to trust yourself and act on your own. But this is what Eren’s thinking:

That didn’t turn out very well, did it? At the end of the expedition, Eren is forced to admit that the SC don’t have all the answers and that all his power and training can’t always keep everyone safe. He’s once again reminded of that after activating the Coordinate — not even the power to control titans can avoid sacrifices.

Ideally, the type 6 can only reach the safety they seek once they allow themselves to move in the chaos with the courage to face it step by step, instead of predicting it. This may sound easy for others but not for them, especially if they are inserted in a reality where the cost of a mistake is lives.

So we get to the Uprising arc. It starts with the Survey Corps planning the retake of Wall Maria while they put Eren through hardening experiments. Time is not on their side and Eren’s determined to go beyond his limits during the tests.

“They consequently try to further strengthen their ‘social security’ systems by working harder to be accepted and approved by their allies and authorities… Others wonder if they resent the workloads and pressures they seem to be under, yet Sixes seem eager to fulfill their obligations and duties...”

Eren’s entire world would fall apart again once he’s kidnapped by Rod Reiss and discovers the truth of his father’s sin. Like I said earlier, Grisha was one of Eren’s authority figures, and even though he was absent, the basement key and the promised truth kept son and father connected. Wherever Grisha was, Eren could still count on the answers he’d left behind.

That is, until he is hit by a trainwreck of a revelation that his father killed an entire family and sacrificed himself to pass on the titans to him. Eren’s left completely lost, he no longer knows what to think of himself, of the world, of his father.

He falls from Level 4 to Level 7:

“Sixes become trapped in an unhealthy pattern of self-disparagement and massive insecurity which reinforces feelings of inferiority and worthlessness, a marked deterioration from the indecision and evasiveness we saw [before].”

This shift to a much more confused and self-loathing state doesn’t last long because Eren has his friend’s support for now. Historia chooses to see his worth and let him live. Levi once again challenges him to make his own decision, and Eren manages to save the day.

As Eren becomes aware of those destructive feelings, he tries to get rid of them by “fighting” himself, in an attempt to put himself back up.

He realizes he isn’t alone and he doesn’t have to do everything on his own, people around him are also strong enough to stand up for themselves. That helps him return to a more average stage and it could have been the beginning of his growth...

Well, if only life wouldn’t have a surprise waiting for him at every corner.

I hope you’re being able to follow and understand that we all have ups and downs in life. The levels of development represent exactly that, so it is common to find yourself in the same stage in different periods of your life. Nevertheless, after Eren learns the truth about the world and sees his future memories, it all goes downhill for him, no turning back anymore.

Here is what Riso comments on the ambivalence of the type 6 on Level 5:

“Sixes begin to follow the narrow path between the expectations of their allies and authorities and their need to resist having any further demands placed on them.”

Eren is overwhelmed by the view of the outside world. He has experienced his father’s memories first hand and it’s nothing like what he expected. No one around him has the same perspective. A lot of self-awareness and self-doubt emerge from the future memories he saw through Historia. Riso explains that on Level 5 the person starts to become more worried about how their allies feel about them.

“They become skeptical of new views and ideas, feeling that they have already put a lot of effort into understanding the perspectives and approaches they already know.”

Eren went from “I HATE TITANS ALL TITANS ARE MY ENEMIES DESTROY ‘EM ALL” to “titans are my people and they haven’t chosen this horrible outcome”. And that’s A LOT to process when you wrapped your life around that initial idea. But things are changing even faster, and his friends are talking about how the enemy could be reached out too. This thought needs to coexist in Eren with the clear image he has of the enemy, one that only he has accessed. Add to that how Eren was kept away from the Marleyan prisoners as Paradis also feared some kind of betrayal. As long as there’s people out there against them, he can’t so easily rest.

Who knows at what point Eren returns to Level 6. The time skip is covered very loosely. But probably when he is feeling so lost that he actually comes to Historia to vent.

“As in other types, to be functioning in this Level or lower usually indicates that there were extremely dysfunctional elements in the child’s environment.”

Self-explanatory. It’s even hard to talk about Level 6 because it is a point where Sixes start to overthink threats that aren’t that big, but in Eren’s case, the threat is 100% REAL and there’s a world isolating them and wishing for his people to die and throwing gigantic creatures at them. No big deal at all.

Eren turns to the people who actually understand the urgency he feels. Floch is eager to follow him, while Zeke and Yelena have an actual plan. Eren says he’s acting out of his own decisions, and he sure is, but he has also left it in Zeke’s hands to set the course. At this point, it no longer is a positive thing for the type 6 to have reassurance instead of a grounding support, it’ll only leave them trapped in the current mentality.

What would be more appropriate would be a balance between rejection…

…and full acceptance.

(By the way, I can’t even know where Historia stands, since she let him do his thing, but I’m still using her here because of how immediate her reaction was, which could lead Eren to think he can’t risk telling anyone else. Unhealthy Sixes are just that paranoid.)

Zeke could have been Eren’s new “authority figure“ if their goals were the same. But more and more the only thing Eren is starting to rely on are the future memories.

Riso talks about how a violent environment would lead to violent actions and “they end up using the same aggressive tactics on others”. And I can draw a parallel with how Eren has been facing titans for so long and watched them take people from him, that he just feels aggression arise whenever he thinks of all the injustice he has witnessed. Same would happen later on, when he sees Ymir’s memories and finally decides to unleash this pain on the world.

“It’s hard for Sixes to work for something. Instead, their energies are galvanized by being against people and things.”

Despite being highly conflicted and problematic, Eren so far has waited. It’s too hard at this point to fully engage with those dreams, but he has watched things unfold and allowed the Survey Corps to do their stuff and try to contact the outside world. On Level 7, the type 6 is just going through the day with little hope. When the SC reaches Marley and Eren meets the boy of his memories, he can no longer escape from facing himself.

“Tearful and obsequious, they are disgusted with themselves for not having been tough enough to stand on their own two feet, to defend themselves, to be independent.”

Not only Eren, but Paradis as a whole, have been unable to be independent in a much bigger world, or this is how he sees it after Kyiomi monopolizes the resources and the pro-Eldians group rejects the island. Finally, Eren recognizes in himself the person who would be capable of trampling the kid he currently wants to save, and that leaves him disgusted.

“They do not necessarily deceive others maliciously, but to escape punishment or abandonment. They believe they may be able to repair the damage they have caused...”

What Riso is saying here is that the type 6 feel the need to hide (themselves) so their loved ones won’t abandon them. And again, in Eren’s case, he has a damn good reason to think his loved ones might not be super happy if he said he was going to destroy the whole world. Let’s not forget they are the people who counted on him to save the world this whole time, and he is the person several people have been sacrificed for.

All this pressure has brought him this low, but Eren reaches rock bottom when he allows himself to admit he wished for it all to be destroyed. Now, he can no longer face his family (as he would tell Falco) and he has little faith in himself.

Again, Eren’s paranoias aren’t so far from reality because there is, indeed, a world against them, and that keeps feeding into his anxiety. Paradis’s progress is little and the future is uncertain. When the type 6 reaches Level 9, they can no longer get out of this spiral. They know it’s only a matter of time until the threat comes to them. So they call the threat upon themselves.

Eren allowed himself to go as far as understanding his enemies and accepting that they’re the same, but with the declaration of war, he can’t wait anymore.

I already told you the reason: the type 6 needs to be able to predict. That’s the very core of their beings, their minds seek to control events. Striking first is their final attempt to make sure they won’t be taken by surprise. Ultimately, they are lost and desperate to find support again. Here’s what Riso says about the type 6 on Level 9:

“They may drop out, abasing themselves as vagrants and living in skid row conditions, thus allowing their health and minds to deteriorate to the point of no return.”

It almost feels like Isayama has read this book, I swear to God. Yeah, that’s word by word what Eren does. He goes to enemy territory, injures himself and throws himself in war. Despite resisting for so long to a new perspective of his enemies, Eren allows himself to see them with his own eyes. All because he’s desperate to understand his enemy, desperate to understand himself (and what would lead to his decision) and desperate to run away from his friends. He is ashamed of choosing those future memories as his new authority figure, get it? They are the most certain thing in his life now. As much as he waited and as much as the SC tried, they don’t have any guaranteed future and it’s just too hard for the type 6, especially unhealthy Sixes, to wait. It’s impossible.

Remember I said that Sixes want to feel understood? Well, I think Eren feels understood, to some degree, when he’s among those broken soldiers. They are relatable, more than anyone else.

“Neurotic Sixes bring disaster of some sort upon themselves not to end their relationship with authority figures, but to reestablish a protective one. [...] It is also important to notice that neurotic Sixes are masochist not because they take pleasure in suffering as such, but because they hope their suffering will bring someone to their side who’ll save them… as if to say, ‘Punish me, because I’ve been bad. Then you can love me again.’”

In the mind of the unhealthy type 6, if he can’t find the answers, he can’t be there for his allies. If he fails his allies, he doesn’t deserve their support. But even when he feels he doesn’t deserve it and feels they won’t forgive him, he desperately needs it — the type 6 doesn’t know how to live without support. He is completely aware of his cowardice, he may unleash his despair in innocent people, he seeks punishment for his behavior and hopes for someone to end his pain.

“Unhealthy Sixes are self-defeating persons who are their worst enemies. If they persist in their masochist behavior, neurotic Sixes will drive away everyone on whom they depend. They will be abandoned and alone, the very things they most fear.”

Eren pushed everyone away, but deep down he waited for them to come to his rescue. He knew he was a lost cause, but still couldn’t let go of what he saw as a compromise, a duty to them. His completely cruel and extreme actions are, in enneagram terms, his way to not leave his allies adrift. But aren’t all his actions for his own freedom? I don’t think so, not entirely. There’s a reason the type 6 has been named “the loyalist” — they always, always see themselves as part of a group. And in the end, he saw himself in Ymir, someone who was trapped and waiting to be rescued, understood. Don Riso says the worst part of coming this low is how much Sixes hurt others while they hurt themselves, both because they want to harm everyone who doesn’t understand and to show people the worst in themselves; they want to punish and be punished at same the time.

That is what I wanted to break down — Eren’s inner process. Yes, the type 6 is an ambivalent, contradicting personality type, precisely because that’s how they feel inside. Other enneagram types don’t escape from their own personal conflicts, that’s also important to point out. The enneagram does not define integrity, people capable of causing great harm exist in all types and no one from type 6 is fated to destroying the world — just in case that isn’t obvious.

This post is heavy, I know. One of the things I love about SNK are the emotions it evokes and how human characters are. I’m so thankful to have followed Eren’s fascinating journey. He has never hit me as a one-dimensional character as some people claim. To me, Eren is not a chad, he’s not a monster, either. He’s just human.

I’m thankful for this fandom as well. We’re a total mess but the monthly wait would’ve killed me without the crazy theories and the heated discussions.

#snk 137 #snk 138 #snk 139 #Eren Jaeger analysis #attack on titan manga and anime #enneagram #LONG post #eren jaeger #snk analysis

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a-womans-rhetoric · 3 years

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Natalie Wynn's "J.K. Rowling" and Disruptive use of Women's Rhetorical Tropes: A Defiant Reply to Transmisogyny

ContraPoints, surrounded by an opulent, candle-lit set and adorned in witch's garb, leisurely pours champagne into her glass — she's ready to breach the internet's hottest topic of January, 2021: her childhood idol being outed as a transphobe (link here). The video itself being over an hour and a half long, I would be hard-pressed to claim that I could ever hope to cover its entirety, comprehensively, in a single post. So to save-face, I'll be dedicating this space only to breaking down her most frequently used rhetorical tropes, one by one.

Irreverence

"Joanne, I wanna talk to you, Joanne! [Fans herself with a rainbow paper fan with the word "BIOLOGICAL" written across it] What is it about Joannes? I can't catch a break from these people" (00:23-00:29, emphasis added).

Wynn's introductory lines immediately open a dialogue with J.K. Rowling — however, this invitation of discourse is defiantly "irreverent" (reminiscent of Nomy Lamm's punk-feminist style in "It’s a Big Fat Revolution” (1995)). Contrapoints, herself a transgender woman, is aware that her very existence is considered in opposition to the TERF-ideology that Rowling subscribes to. Thus, she's rather playful — even openly disrespectful — with her diction: calling the British author by her first name in a mocking-tone and flaunting her own trans identity to the camera (in a way that would likely offend the fragile sensibilities of a transphobe). Her personal tone (with ample use of the pronoun "I") servers a duplicitous purpose: a simultaneous message of "sit down and listen" and a fair degree of "I don't care if you can't accept me."

"So, now that 2020 is finally over, I think we can let the record conclusively show that it was a year whomst is bad. And on top of everything else going on, truly the last thing we needed was the author of Harry Potter coming forward to announce there's two things she can't stand: bigotry, and the transgenders. (00:31 - 00:50, emphasis added).

Finally broaching the subject at hand directly, Wynn employs kairos alongside her irreverence. Kairos, or the rhetorical use of an "opportune moment," holds incredible weight in the first month after 2020: the year in which the whole world fell into a stasis. Characterizing Rowling's transphobia as a collective "the last thing we needed," is also rather dismissive — she unites herself with her audience with the pronoun "we" and invites us all to groan at the exasperating nature of Rowling's bigotry.

Claiming the Right to Speak / Personal Experience

"This is a painful topic for me all around because, as a transgender woman, I am honestly really hurt by a lot of the things Joanne has said in the last year. But I also know what it's like to be the target of a Twitter mob" (01:36-01:47).

As she begins to touch on the topic, Natalie Wynn claims the right to speak on the issue of Rowling's transphobia — a type of bigotry that directly effects her. However, Wynn also situates herself partially with Rowling in her acknowledgement that receiving Twitter backlash is a terrifying experience (an experience, she argues, that the human brain is not prepared to handle the scale of, 01:49-02:39). In treating her subject with such dignity — and adding her own deeply personal account— ContraPoints creates a credible ethos in the beginning of her video essay. The audience is inclined to listen to someone who has been directly effected by the subject of Rowling's controversy (transphobia) and someone who is, rather compassionately, willing to empathize with those who would wish her harm. Although the generally sassy, glamorous, and irreverent tone of the video still appears soon after (see: the above image), her opening up for this somber moment garners a fair degree pathos in the viewer — we, as human beings, are inclined to sympathize with people who are open about being hurt.

Metis (Embodied Rhetoric)

[The following ContraPoints quote is addressing the above J.K. Rowling tweet, content warning for transmisogyny] "Transphobes love to play this game where they pretend that trans people just don't understand basic biology, that's our problem! As if I didn't start taking female hormones because I'm acutely aware that my body is not the same as a cis woman's body, that sex is real. "[Fictional TERF character] You will never be a woman, Nathan. Every cell in your body is male and has a Y chromosome." Really? That's crazy. How you'd you learn so much about science? You know I don't really feel the need to have a second X chromosome, I get by with only one, I make it work. I actually like the Y chromosome, I think it's a little more dainty, you know, it's little softer, a little more petite. The X chromosome has a lot of extra appendages, and don't you think? I don't need anymore of those, thanks. No trans person thinks it's possible to change chromosomal sex and to pretend otherwise is to argue in bad faith" (08:47-09:34).

If you can excuse my gargantuan quote, I hope you'll agree that the dialogue ContraPoints builds here was just too good to cut short. Within this excerpt, we see Wynn's use of irreverance and personal experience blended seamlessly together. For this YouTuber, the personal is perpetually political — especially when her own identity is constantly taken as an ideological stance. She uses her own expertise in trans issues to pick apart just how disingenuous Rowling's assertions are — even accusing her of "argue[ing] in bad faith" with her reductive claims (later, taking specific issue with how Rowling treats trans-ness as a costume). But, here, she also directly invokes another rhetorical trope: that of metis, or embodied rhetoric. Natalie Wynn specifically references her transgender body as a sort of counterpoint to the condescending "sex is real" claims by TERFs. She cites her intrinsic desire to pursue hormonal therapy as evidence that she — and other trans people like her — are all "acutely aware" that there are chromosomal differences between themselves and cis women. With this salient statement, she then follows with some humor: which, again, utilizes her trans body in her rhetoric. Her characterization of the Y chromosome as "more petite" and playful declaration of not needing "extra appendages" lightens up the often dark tone that arguing for trans rights and liberation can take. The clever points she makes are by no means weakened by her humor — if anything, the audience is more willing to listen to someone who can "joke about themselves" (so to speak) while still arguing an incredibly important message.

Naming and Defining Issues

"When I see Joanne tweeting about how trans people think sex isn't real and they're erasing same-sex attraction and they're silencing women, alarm bells are ringing because I recognize these as familiar transphobic talking points, specifically TERF talking points. "TERF" means trans exclusionary radical feminism. God are we still talking about this? I promise this is the last time. So TERFism is a hate movement that disguises transphobia as feminism. ... The fundamental problem with TERFs is not that they're mean. It's that they're politically reactionary, they want to reverse the progress of trans liberation." (14:05-16:02)

In her definition of TERF rhetoric, Natalie Wynn outlines some dog-whistles that are obvious to her, as a trans woman. She calmly explains to the viewer that, oftentimes in the present-day, rhetorics of exclusion are thoroughly disguised; TERFs, specifically, hide their rampant transphobia as a form of feminism. However, she further clarifies that the specific "danger" that TERFs pose is not from their cruelty — it's from their fervent dedication to strip away trans rights through political means. By specifying this danger, Natalie Wynn shifts the conversation away from empty discussion of offensiveness/terminology, to issues which directly affect the lives of trans people every day.

[This portion addresses the picture above] Also an act of naming and defining, ContraPoints makes a distinction between "Direct" and "Indirect Bigotry." She argues that many people envision bigotry as a festering, public, frothing-at-the-mouth hatred — a phenomenon she dubs "the Westboro Baptist Church theory of bigotry" (20:06). In bringing attention to the human tendency to think of people as exclusively practicing "direct bigotry" — envisioning them as a sort of delusional "other" — she then forces the audience to contemplate the relative omni-presence of the more covert (and possibly alluring) "indirect bigotry." This definition, crucially, requires introspection. By allowing ourselves to think of bigots not exclusively as "Westboros," we're made to adopt a much more nuanced view of subjects (most) generally prefer to keep black-and-white. Natalie Wynn uses her J.K. Rowling case study to complicate this 2D view of "The Bigot," inviting others to more carefully examine how politically reactionary views develop.

Phew, this was probably the longest post I've ever typed up on tumblr! Hopefully, I succeeded in demystifying (or at least adding clarity to) some of the specific tropes ContraPoints uses (that are common to women's rhetorics as a whole). Thanks for reading if you stuck around this long, and my ask box is always open!

#contrapoints #tw transphobia #tw transmysoginy

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wickedmilo · 3 years

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SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM | MILO & CHLOE

PLACE: A dive bar TIMING: 10:49 PM SUMMARY: After realising he has run out of money, Milo approaches Chloe and asks her to pay for his drinks. WRITING PARTNER: @chloeinbetween CONTENT WARNINGS: Addiction, alcohol, references to emotional abuse, drug manipulation (Leanan-Sidhe kiss), chronic illness

There were a lot of things Chloe hadn’t done for years, banned because the only thing allowed to be a detriment to her health was the fae feeding on her. There were a lot of things she wasn’t supposed to do now either, against medical advice or the general opinions of the town on what wasn’t and wasn’t safe. Drinking a glass of whiskey by herself in a bar that was too dingy to have a crowd on a weeknight probably fell into all of the above. Which was why she was doing it. Her fingers drummed against the sticky linoleum of the bar, looking at messages on her phone that she had no plan of answering. Her old messaging app had kept all the old messages from before she’d been taken, so in her worst moments she scrolled through the texts she’d received demanding to know where she was, and why she’d abandoned them.

It was hardly surprising in pits like this that she didn’t notice the young man sidling up to her curiously. Not until he was much too close. “Can I help you?” Chloe asked, looking him up and down.

Until very recently, Milo had no reason to concern himself with boundaries. The circles he usually ran in had far more important things to worry about, like who had the drugs, and where they were going to use them. He was too used to stumbling, getting close to strangers, or sharing paraphernalia with people he didn’t recognise. Being forced to avoid people, Humans, was new. A habit he was being forced to form. That didn’t mean his other habits, the ones he had been establishing for years, weren’t demanding his attention though. Which was why he had made his way over to a quiet bar, a bar he knew didn’t often draw in the crowds. As depressing as it was to drink alone in a shadowy corner, that’s exactly how he had been spending his night. Up until the moment he had reached into his pocket for the crushed bills he usually kept there and realised they were no longer present. He shouldn’t be surprised, he had been handing them over for hours. But everybody knew running out of money was anxiety inducing, even when you didn’t have habits to maintain.

His bank account was empty, that had been the last of it. He wasn’t stupid enough to assume he counted wrong when he had withdrawn the remainder of his funds. And he hadn’t been to work since his official time of death. He could make a run for it, but even in his inebriated state he knew being chased down and potentially tackled by a bartender would only end in said bartender being drained of blood. There didn’t seem to be many options ahead of him. So instead of eyeing the door, he began to eye his fellow patrons. It was very easy to single out the person least likely to punch him in the face, and he pushed himself out of the booth he had been slouching in, getting far too close before he could hold himself back. His limbs felt heavy, his entire body clumsy, and uncoordinated. But he pushed on. “Yeah, actually-” He insisted, a familiar rush of longing creeping up on him as her scent began to permeate the space. Taking a hesitant step back, he swallowed his craving, willing himself to stay where he was. “You can pay for my drinks.” Maybe it wasn’t the smoothest way of asking the woman for money, but his brain wasn’t functioning at full capacity and pathetically, it was the best he could do. Maybe she would take pity on him. “I mean- I’ve probably had the worst fucking month of my life, and I… shit, I mean I have no money. What do you want me to say?”

“Excuse me?” Chloe replied, twisting in her seat to look him over. There was a buzz in her head, but it did nothing to numb the immediate annoyance at his request. If anything, it removed any social insecurity, Chloe was no longer interested in being careful with her words. A fae would be more eloquent than that anyway. She pushed her drink further onto the counter so that she would not knock it, and looked him up and down. There was a loose, chaotic way of his movements, like he didn’t quite know how to hold himself together. He was drunk, drawling, obviously. Her lip curled in disgruntled annoyance. “Why the hell are you at a bar if you haven’t got any money?” Chloe snapped back, looking right back up at him.

“I really don’t see how that’s anyone’s problem except yours. And the bartender’s. How disrespectful do you need to be to expect something like this from other people?” She rolled her eyes pointedly at him. There was another thought, biting at the corner of her mind, after another moment of looking at him, the sentence slipped out before she could stop herself. “Can’t have been too shitty a month if you still have the capacity to make bad life choices.”

Milo knew the moment the woman turned to face him that she wasn’t about to hand over her credit card. Even if it hadn’t been obvious in her tone, it would have been obvious in the way she was looking at him. Letting out a huff of breath in response to the question, it was a sharp reminder of how important it was to take shallow breaths. He didn’t need the oxygen, and breathing in too deeply was only going to put her in danger. Each intake brought with it a wave of tantalising scent. “I had money.” He countered, an edge to his own voice. “I drank it.” Honestly, he wasn’t sure what he would do if somebody approached him and asked him to pay for their drinks. Maybe in the morning her reaction would feel reasonable, and valid. Right now though, in this moment, it was infuriating. It didn’t make any sense.

“And it isn’t disrespectful to be a total dick when somebody asks you for help?” He demanded, twisting the situation to frame himself as someone to sympathise with, someone to feel sorry for. He fell silent again, his eyes narrowing as she carefully observed him. Even with so much alcohol in his system, it made him feel vulnerable, and exposed. He didn’t like it. Shifting awkwardly on the spot, he felt a spark of genuine anger when she eventually commented on his life choices. Did he really look that bad? “Oh, yeah?” He snapped. “You’re here drinking alone too, you know? Seems like we’re both making shitty decisions. I’d like to see anybody go through what I’ve been through and not want to drink themselves into oblivion. Haven’t you ever heard of coping mechanisms? Fucking crutches? Maybe I just need a fucking break.”

“Sounds like a you problem,” Chloe replied, matching his edge just as harshly, even though her voice croaked with the effort. There was a way he looked at her that made her skin crawl, like he knew more about her than he should, or that he wanted more than her money. Perhaps what was left of her life, she though, and shook the thought away. He didn’t have the charisma to be like Lydia. He was pitiable. Still a threat, maybe, but under her anger she understood just want this looked like.

There was a knife edge difference between drinking to cope and drinking to lose herself, and Chloe was terrified of landing the wrong edge of the line.

Then he opened his mouth again and her sympathy was quashed immediately. “Only if they’re not a dick in asking for it. You didn’t even ask! You demanded. You look young but not too young to know the difference.” If nothing, her barbed comment only seemed to raise his hackles even further, his voice raising. Her hands curled tightly around the edge of the barstool. “I’m not pissing off anyone else though, am I? I don’t think you’re in a place to throw rocks, dude. Oh fuck off, do you really think you have a monopoly on suffering?”

Milo glared at the woman, irritated by the tone she was taking although he had a feeling he might look back on this conversation and feel it was entirely justified. “I’m trying to make it an us problem.” He muttered, thinking of every time Dani had ever called him a smartmouth. “I didn’t ask for shit.” He added, his glare only growing in intensity. Clearly it had been a mistake to approach her. She must have known he was likely going to ask her for money regardless of how she chose to begin their initial interaction, but technically he was being honest. “You asked if you could help me, and I said yes, you could pay for my drinks. If anything, you offered.”

Noting her voice growing in volume, the last thing he wanted to do was cause a scene. But he also felt as though he had every right to be angry. He hadn’t done anything wrong. “I didn’t come over here to piss you off. I actually have better things to do.” He snapped, running a clumsy hand through his hair as he struggled to reign in his frustration. “You know what? Yeah, I really fucking do have the monopoly on suffering right now. Why do you think I’m even here? I had friends, and a fucking family, and I’m really fucking tired. So forgive me for not realising I was nearly out of cash. And forgive me for thinking that maybe someone might actually take pity on me and offer to help me out. It’s whatever, okay? I’ll fucking go-”

“I’ll remember next time to be clearer with my sarcasm as you don’t seem to get it. I fucking doubt that,” Chloe snarled back, eyes creased in a frown, back straight. She couldn’t say whether it was the alcohol or the attitude that was giving her a headache, but she was pretty sure he was the problem either way. But somewhere in his furious tirade, Chloe heard the hints of something that… well, nothing justified treating people shittily, but something awful, something Chloe understood a little too well.

No friends. No family. Alone in a dark place with an unhealthy coping mechanism and a need to drown your thoughts in a buzz. Chloe hadn’t had access to alcohol for the last few years, but… well, there had been something available to take the edge off. Chloe shivered. “Wait.” She said curtly, jaw flexing, unable to believe she was about to say this. Maybe because in the biting harshness of his features she saw snippets of Todd and Sammy, young lost men who had found the wrong source of comfort in their troubled lives. Chloe already knew it was fantastical to think she could fix things, but if there was a kindness to be offered…. On the other hand, he was an asshole who had pissed her off, so she almost let him walk away just to teach him a lesson. “Just this once, okay? So you don’t end up in jail on top of whatever other shit you have going on. Now get the hell out of here.”

“Maybe don’t engage strangers in conversation and you won’t have to.” Milo countered. She had spoken to him first. He wasn’t about to take responsibility for something that wasn’t his fault. He was just turning to leave, his hands balled into fists, when he heard the woman call out to him. Surprised, but too irritated to show any gratitude, he faced her once again, a frown still fixed firmly in place. He hadn’t been expecting her to change her mind, and he was in too bitter a mood to be honest about just how much the gesture meant. Taking the bills she was handing out to him, he was careful to only take the amount he needed, leaving a few of them behind. There were other ways to find money if he became desperate. Right now, it seemed like the very least he could do to acknowledge she was offering him help. Crumpling them in his hand, he sheepishly caught her eye. He knew he should say thank you, but he was stubborn. Too stubborn to admit he might have been unfair to her. So he left, instead. Without saying another word. Maybe one day he might feel guilty about that fact, but it wasn’t as though he was ever going to see her again. Something, he thought, that might very well be for the best.

#addiction tw #alcohol tw #emotional abuse tw #drug manipulation tw #chronic illness tw #milo & chloe #alcohlism tw #c:chloe

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ratingtheframe · 4 years

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Why Armie Hammer’s Scandal Is More Than Kink Shaming

The 34 year old actor has had numerous allegations thrown his way this past month, from cannibalism to an obsession with BDSM. But do these allegations go beyond a widely accepted community of kink lovers and venture into deeply rooted misogyny?

Warning: this article contains mentions of cannibalism and sexual assault.

For those of you who aren’t aware of Armie Hammer’s presence on screen, you may be scratching your head and wondering what on earth people are talking about, seeing the cannibalism aspect to this all as face value without making the connection between Hammer’s past behaviours and current allegations. The actor who rose to prominence in Aaron Sorkin and David Fincher’s The Social Network (2013) playing both of the Winklevoss twins, has become quite the favourite amongst the film industry. His role Oliver in Luca Guadagnino’s Call me by your name (2017) has sent Twitter into a permanent frenzy as memes and daily adoration for Chalamet and Hammer’s on screen romance continue to thrive even 4 years after the film's release. As well as Call me your name, Hammer is known for roles in Sorry to Bother You (2018), Rebecca (2020), On the Basis of Sex (2018) and soon to be released, Death on The Nile (2021). He currently has another film due to be released and a Call me by your name sequel in development. Sounds as if he’s got a lot going for him and despite him not being the biggest star to be churned out of Hollywood today, the recognition is still there and with that, he’s still being paid.

The Allegations

At the beginning of the year, an account emerged under the handle of @houseofeffie, that was created to expose some lurid and unpleasant communication between several women and Armie Hammer. Some of which he had relations with whilst married to his now ex wife Elizabeth Chambers. The nature of these dms are incredibly disturbing and worrying considering that Hammer not only has children but as an actor, spends a proportionate time around women.

These are just a few of the messages that were exposed that led the media to brandish Hammer as a “cannibal”:

Hammer:

“You are the god damned standard I hold women to in terms of kink and enjoyment of fucking the[n]...”

“I need to drink your blood, why the distance?” “...thinking of holding your heart in my head and controlling when it beats”

“I am 100% a cannibal...I want to eat you....Fuck...that’s scary to admit..”

“I’ve cut the heart out of a living animal before and eaten it while still warm”

“You were the most intense and extreme version [that I’ve ever had]. Raping you on the floor with a knife against you. Everything else seemed boring”

“You [were] crying and screaming, me standing over you. I felt like a god. I’ve never felt such power or intensity.”

“You just live to obey and be my slave”

“Would you come and be my property till you die? If I wanted to cut off one of your toes and keep it with me in my pocket so I always had a piece of you in my possession?”

“I want to see your brain, your blood, your organs, every part of you… I would definitely bite it...100%”

...O-kay. Lots to unpack here. First and fore mostly, I’d like to address the kink shaming element to all of this. I personally don’t see any harm in kinks, BDSM, pornography, as long as people are consenting and aren’t inflicting unsolicited pain upon people. Therefore, kink shaming and finding Hammer’s taste in sexual preferences isn’t what we are here to discuss. In fact when I first read the allegations, that wasn’t even my initially thought. CNN posted an article two days ago titled “Armie Hammer May Be Disturbed, But Is Shaming Him the Answer?” an opinion based article by Aaron Weaver that explores the allegations and believes Hammer shouldn’t be shamed for his kinks. But this begs the question whether Hammer was actually being shamed? I didn’t see much evidence for this seeing as people were mostly horrified by his taste in human flesh than anything else, a kink that is uncommon in the BDSM community and is only practiced by the most extreme.

Kinks aside, the most worrying thing about the DMs above is the way in which he views women and their bodies. It’s clear to see that he might not have much respect for women seeing as he proudly states his willingness to cut them up and drink their blood. And funnily enough, the sexual objectification of women’s bodies for one's own sexual pleasure without considering their comfortability is classed as misogyny. A reddit user made an extremely good point on a thread about Hammer’s scandal stating:

“To me, the problem is not that he’s into rough sex, or that he has kinks some people find scary. It’s not about yucking his yum, so to speak. I’m more concerned that he may have ignored safe words and pushed his partners beyond their limits. I feel like the media is focusing so much on his kinks and sexuality as opposed to his ignoring of consent, which is a complete and utter inversion of priorities”

Past Relationships

Another example of Hammer disrespecting the boundaries of women and sexual pleasure would be his past girlfriend Paige Lorenze. Lorenze is a 23 year model and former professional skier who has shone a light on Hammer’s worrying behaviour and his involvement in BDSM activity. The sources of Lorenze’s allegations are highly unreliable, which is one of the most frustrating things about this entire charade. The BBC BRIEFLY covered the fact that Hammer dropped out of his latest film amid the allegations, without fully going into detail about the allegations or the abuse subjected towards his former partners. It just goes to show we’re rubbish at taking abuse seriously enough to the point where people are punished for their wrongdoings. Had a more reliable news source covered this story, then it’d make it more viable to the public. Even though this scandal is in its early days, that doesn’t necessarily mean it's unimportant or should be swept under the rug along with the hundreds of other scandals that Hollywood refuses to expose.

Only the Daily Mail, The Sun and Page Six seem to have gone in depth with the accusations, making the entire story rather murky for the reader. Anyhow, Paige Lorenze said to the Daily Mail that Hammer had carved an ‘A’ above her groin without her consent and licked it whilst it bled. He had also reportedly tied her up and hit her with paddles to fuel his BDSM obsession and sexual desires. Lorenze was quoted saying 'Any man who is fantasizing about crushing bones, eating them, having sex with female limp bodies is a danger to all women'. Hammer insisted to Lorenze that his behaviour was normal, and that there was an entire community of people that carried out the same things he did on her. This is partially correct seeing as the global sex play market is worth over $30 billion, with practices in such activities dating back to the mid 19th century. However, the one thing the BDSM community doesn’t condone is not giving consent, which is where the fine line is drawn in between Hammer’s sexual preferences and the BDSM community. His choice to carve that ‘A’ into Lorenze isn’t backed up by a wider community of people who enjoy a variety of sexual pleasure. Lorenze claims he also DMed nude photos of her being tied up to people without her consent, further perpetuating Hammer’s lack of respect towards people’s boundaries. This is a serious incident, that sees someone with more power (Hammer is 6’5 and Lorenze is 5’6 btw) assert their dominance and by doing so, degrades and harms someone else. We shouldn’t be kink shaming Hammer, but shaming him for thinking that this behaviour is acceptable.

Hammer’s previous relationships can also draw some light into his lack of respect for women. He and his wife Elizabeth Chambers divorced in July 2020 after a decade of marriage. Though it's unknown what triggered the separation, these recent allegations may have something to do with it. Furthermore, two other women have come forward to express their distaste towards Hammer and his questionable fantasies. Entrepreneur and ex-girlfriend of Armie Hammer, Courtney Vucekovich, told Page Six that Hammer wanted to “break [her] rib and barbecue it and eat it”. She also expressed how easy it was for Hammer to charm his way through into getting women, especially young women into doing what he wants through “active manipulation and making you feel like he’s never felt this way about anybody.” Lorenze was also subjected to similar retort after reporting that Hammer too wanted to barbecue one of her ribs because she “didn’t need it”. Writer Jessica Ciencen Henriquez took to twitter last summer after a lunch date with Hammer and expressed that she had blocked him on Instagram. She later went on to tweet this:

“If you are still questioning whether or not those Armie Hammer DMs are real (and they are) maybe you should start questioning why we live in a culture willing to give abusers the benefit of the doubt instead of victims”

Exactly my point here. There’s not much to this scandal other than the fact that several people were hurt and undermined and someone else caused it. Someone who is societally above everyone because of their race, class, status and gender, with a well connected and dominant family support system.

His background and past

Hammer comes from a very powerful and wealthy family. Hammer’s great grandfather, Armand Hammer, was the chief executive officer and president of the Occidental Petroleum company founded in 1920. Now if you’re wondering the exact scale of such a company that is still running today, they are the 4th largest oil and gas acquisition in the entire world worth over $100 billion. ONE HUNDRED, BILLION, DOLLARS. Not all actors in Hollywood can say that their great-grandfathers were worth that much, which gives me little hope in seeing Hammer be held accountable for what he’s done. He was also kicked out of UCLA after apparently not “being able to do it”. Just another rich white male with enough power, malice and money to work his way around any struggle.

Now that we’ve established Hammer’s allegations, it’s worth looking back to see whether the signs of such behaviour were already prevalent in the numerous interviews he partook in over the years. Complex highlighted an episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert from 2017, where the host brought up Hammer’s obsession with knots, to which he laughed off and claimed that “knots make sense” that they are a “language” and referenced how man used knots before the wheel. Valid points but ones that are debunked in light of his interest in BDSM. during a 2013 interview with Playboy (appropriate) Hammer expressed that his “sexual appetites changed'' when he married his wife and that hair pulling used to be something he enjoyed but could no longer do now that he was married “even though he wanted to”. This is quite the backwards comment when we’re talking about respecting boundaries and it's clear to see it was only a matter of time before his desires could no longer be repressed.

Since this whole shit storm began to travel Hammer’s way, he has since dropped out of the film The Billion Dollar Spy, which would’ve seen him star alongside Jennifer Lopez. BBC News reported that this move was made as Hammer stated that “I cannot in good conscience now leave my children for four months to shoot a film in the Dominican Republic” following the ‘vicious’ online abuse he’s been subjected to. Hammer was again put in the firing line by Grand Cayman law enforcement for lying about a woman provocatively shown in a video was Miss Cayman of the Miss Cayman beauty pageant that’s held on the island. He and the woman were warned for their misconduct and had confirmed the matter is now closed.

Final Thoughts

There are enough red flags in Hammer’s behaviour to open up a flag store, and I would go as far as to say that this isn’t the end of it. For someone who’s grown up having the majority of things they want, it's easy to want more beyond morality and despite the discomfort of others. Hammer’s move to drop out of his latest film was an attempt to lessen the blow of hate being turned towards him as opposed to the benefit of those he’s hurt. So far, him and his lawyer have denied all allegations and further action hasn’t been taken against the Hollywood star. He’s apologised for the DMs and brandished his actions a “foolish attempt at humour”.

Wrapping his own behaviour up in humour is an attempt to detract from the severity of the behaviour itself, whilst excusing it, something he can get away with because of his status.

Major media outlets haven’t done much in even attempting to expose this man’s behaviour and have left it up to unreliable sources to piece together the true persona of Armie Hammer. Though innocent until proven guilty, common sense is widely available to the general public meaning we should be delving into the past a little and comparing it to these allegations. Along with Hammer’s character, family and unnerving Instagram posts of cutting up meat and eating raw steak, there doesn’t seem to be much in the actor’s favour.

All I would say is as a director, producer, writer or actor, would you feel comfortable in being associated with someone who believes they're a cannibal and marvels at the idea of drinking human blood? Or someone who goes as far to objectify women to the point where they become nothing but sexual fulfilment and pieces of meat?

That’s all I’ll say and those who do feel comfortable doing such a thing means that Hammer may still have a career at the end of the day. One point to Hollywood, no points to political correctness and respecting women.

#armiehammer #call me by my name #actors #hollywoodmovies #paige lorenze

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cursedserpenthq · 4 years

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(summer bishil, 33, woman, merperson) Blimey! Is that (BRIAR BRANDO)? (SHE) is the (CARPENTER) on the Cursed Serpent and has been onboard the ship for (TWO YEARS). Legend has it they are (QUICK-WITTED & PROVOCATIVE), but don’t get on their bad side, because I hear they’re (INFLAMMATORY & HEDONISTIC). Aye! Stop staring! (BRIAR) has their (FLINTLOCK BELT PISTOLS) out! (ooc: dea, pst, 24, she/her, rape/sexual assault)

THE CURSED SERPENT

After devoting several decades to living amongst her merfolk colony, conflicts of interest led to her choosing a more landbound existence. She found it easy to blend in with the lively energy Westburgh, having observed and the behaviours and dynamics of humans as well as the amount of traffic which crosses through the city. However, eventually, she found herself getting restless and in desire of a profession which would sufficiently satisfy her mind and body. She developed a fascination for metalsmithing and carpentry, shadowing masters of each field in exchange for fetching them supplies. Her good looks allowed her to barter fares for goods to a significantly lower amount, which paid off the space she took up. Otherwise, she kept a low profile and wore deliberately unflattering clothes, keeping her hair tied back and her words few; altogether generating an attitude aligned with a masculine demeanour that blended in better.

Time passed and eventually she grew restless in her apprentice positions, having understood what needed to be done multiple times over. Unfortunately, when Briar’s impatience flared an unfortunate event was soon to follow. Since her departure from the sea, she was careful to neglect using her sonic abilities — it was merely coincidence that the local lead carpenter happened to one night wander past the city limits and slip into a watery grave. With an open position, Briar seamlessly filled it and kept customers pleased and impressed with the speed and precision at which she worked.

Briar heard rumours of the Cursed Serpent throughout her years in Westburgh. Their reputation and the obstacles they’d surmounted preceded them — each one singing louder to Briar’s disobedient scallywag heart. To be a part of such a group always sounded enticing, although she was less interested in the prospect of being at the sea’s mercy for a prolonged period of time. Since leaving her colony, she harbours a hatred for the sea. The idea of swimming or being underwater to hear the voices of her kind leaves a sour taste in her mouth and a white hot anger under her skin. But, once again, she began to grow restless in her city-bound existence that followed the same rhythm everyday.

Considering life aboard a ship meant commanding the waves rather than falling beneath them, she reasoned with herself that it seemed a safe enough distance to submit to her heart’s longing for piracy. Soon, the siren call of adventure, prosperity, and infamy beckoned her over the edge. After following the trails of gossip, Briar found the Cursed Serpent and boldly pledged herself as the carpenter they needed to truly succeed in the rough times ahead. It remains her highest goal to maintain truth in the statement.

Briar enjoys being of aid and service to whatever the ship demands. She has a hungry work ethic and ability to juggle projects, likely to fly under the radar for stints at a time as she works in her preferred space — below deck. In the aftermath of storms she has remained acutely aware of any issues on board, and tends to stay an active member on deck taking initiative on repairs or reinforcements when others venture to shore, restock at ports, or find a rare moment of sleep. Briar mostly likes doing her own thing, but will readily take on tasks when asked. She works at an incredibly rapid pace without sacrificing perfectionism.

Briar fits right in with the lifestyle of a pirate with her rowdy attitude and hedonistic desires, likely to stir the pot whether she intended to or not. She finds it keeps things dynamic, and enjoys witnessing others as work almost as much as she likes bothering them. Although she likes the crew for their attachment to the Cursed Serpent, she has remained emotionally distanced and wary of everyone. Only shallow bonds have been formed with fellow members, in her reluctance to divulge much about herself nor interest in being close friends with anyone. At the end of the day, she wishes to find the Jewels more than anything else. Lives lost or injured along the way is inevitable collateral damage, hence her disinterest in growing too fond of anyone lest they be lost to the larger goal. Accordingly, in the face of any tragedy, she does not dwell in gloom or disappointment. Three modes govern Briar, at any given moment — rage, sardonic humour, and impulsivity.

The Captain’s death unnerved her, making the mistake of deeming him better than other humans for the kind of ship he ran and the notoriety he was responsible for. Briar deeply respected his leadership and intelligence, never in disagreement with the calls he made. His death had Briar, for the first time, considering him weak and tactless for not avoiding the final hit that killed him. It made her feel bitter. Human mortality was a heavy burden to live with and, with more dangerous waters likely ahead, above all else it frustrated her to think the Jewels may be harder to access without his level-headed order and discretion as the crew’s compass.

SECRET

In her spare time, on the down low, Briar likes to work on developing unique weapons. With a specific interest in fire and ignition; grenades, hand cannons, and other explosive projectile matter are her predominant under-development works. Most prototypes are too dangerous and volatile to work on in an enclosed space whilst active, and although it sacrifices swift progress, she ensures her materials are kept dampened until satisfied with her design. She remains confident that her awareness of the elements on board could curve any potential malfunction issues, but also knows better than to waste materials. In the meantime, she stocks up on ideas and their necessary frameworks as she awaits the day she can assemble something and put it to real use.

Briar was exiled from her merfolk colony for repeatedly breaking the law, branded for repeated fraternisation with a sorcerer that supposedly put her colony in jeopardy. Even though she claimed she was careful, travelling a great distance each visit, the relationship was deemed reckless for both the act itself and the (literal) dangerous waters she tread in the process. As a result of the mark bestowed upon her, Briar exclusively wears long sleeved shirts — high collared or tightly laced at all times, at the bear minimum. Even on sweltering days. She would say it’s for protection from any shrapnel or splintering that she may encounter during her work. Due to the painful treatment her colony put her through despite her efforts to explain herself, she is very wary of other merpeople until she learns where their allegiance lies. Merfolk wandering in disguise amongst humans make her paranoid that her cover of normalcy may be blown. She is only sympathetic for outsiders, whether by force or choice — she wouldn’t hesitate to help another in true and dire need, as it’s what she would have wished happened to her in her initial castaway phase.

KEY RELATIONSHIPS

ALLUDED APPRENTICE: Someone that wishes to learn more about carpentry. Briar didn’t like the idea of company at first, and was by no means interested nor in possession of the patience required to be a teacher. Initially it was purely through absorbing continuous examples of her at work from a distance that they were able to pick up a few things. Only when it became obvious how observant they were did Briar willingly begin to divulge a few techniques or skills that would enable better execution. Occasionally, she’ll make a game out of it and challenge them to making something in a limited amount of time. She’s far more critical than likely to praise anything they come up with, but she’s grown to appreciate having someone to share with and bond over her enjoyment of crafting.

CHARRED CAMARADERIE: Briar’s abrasive manner sometimes gets the better of her for its lack of discrimination. Anyone in her line of sight is fair game to rub the wrong way, even if that entails disrespecting someone ranked above her or twice her size. She doesn’t care much for rules and order, at the end of the day far more willing to be selfish if it means survival. It’s her unyielding audacity that this person can’t help but somewhat respect, yet they don’t want her to give her the wrong idea that she has any power in her beliefs. For the sake of order, no matter the weight of their personal opinion, they always make sure to shut down any instigative remarks she makes. Inwardly, she finds it both challenging and commendable that someone dares to keep her accountable and under some measure of control. At the heart of this dynamic, there is deep respect that goes both ways. However, on the surface, one wouldn’t be able to tell. It’s a lot of bickering and empty threats — a game of baiting and entrapping until one side concedes… until next time.

ALL THE FIXINGS: chock it up to plain clumsiness or one too many drunken stupors, this person is always causing bumps, scrapes, and breaks upon the ship’s materials as well as their own possessions. Briar fixes the result following each incident, no questions asked. It’s an explicitly need-to-know basis. The only thing she asks for her services is for there to be an exchange of some sort, which varies on her mood. Sometimes payment is as simple as a coin, other times a bottle of booze, or — for an undisclosed yet ongoing project — some pilfered gunpowder. The “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule goes both ways.

ANYTHING ELSE

Intended to play the assisting role in Lachlan Rhodes’ Guardian Angel WC.

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thereturnofthedirtyblog · 5 years

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Paranormal reality show blames Witch community for hauntings

By Heather Greene | January 7, 2018

WOLF CREEK, Ore. — The paranormal reality show Ghost Adventures (2008- ) blamed a local Witch community for the hauntings being reported in a Oregon ghost town. Airing Sept. 23, the episode “Golden Ghost Town” finds the Ghost Adventures crew in an old mining town in southwestern Oregon. The old town, which is currently in a state park and being restored, is well-known for its hauntings, which the show labels as being demonic and “unleashed” by local Witches.

As is explained in the show and by various websites, Golden, Oregon was once a mining town established by Chinese immigrants. The promise of gold attracted William Ruble, who eventually purchased much of the land and established the town with the post office opening in 1896. Ruble was reportedly very religious and kept Golden dry.

However, the town only lasted until1920, when the post office officially closed. The area was abandoned, leaving only dilapidated structures and, apparently, some ghosts.

When the September episode of Ghost Adventures opens, the crew, made up of Zak Bagans, Aaron Goodwin, Billy Tolley and Jay Wasley, is driving into the abandoned town. One of them feels an immediate sensation, saying his stomach hurts. Later, several of the interviewees say the same thing.

Bagans then interviews local religious official Archbishop Cloud, who claims that he heard rumors of “occult activity” taking place in the church after it was abandoned. This activity, as he explains, has “desecrated” the sacred space. This type of religion-based narrative is not unique to this show or to paranormal reality stories. In fact, such a narrative structure provides the baseline for a large percentage of ghost-related fictional works. In these stories, a sacred space of some sort, as typically-defined by Catholic theology, is violated, misused, or abandoned, consequently attracting evil. In other cases, it is only the sacred that can save.

However, in this particular show, the ghost adventure goes so far as to blame modern Witches for the haunting, rather than only dead ones from some long ago past.

After experiencing an encounter at night in the abandoned Golden church, the archbishop and Bagans discuss “what might be feeding the malevolence that permeates the entire area.” Bagans asks Cloud, “Have you ever heard about this sanctuary out here in the woods somewhere that is very close to this? They do these rituals; I know it’s Witchcraft. It said Pagan rituals. Have you heard about this group?”

Cloud answers he has and that the Witches are all over, and that the ritual practices are “steeped in Witchcraft,” and that he is sure that “they are conjuring demons.” Another interviewee later confirms that by saying that she “knows” it is caused by the local Witches.

During the discussion between Cloud and Bagans, there are flashes of various images of people at night in the woods obscured by branches and trees. The entire sequence, which includes hanging stick figures and dramatic sound, is reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project (1999).

“Could the unusual number of violent acts in this area be caused by the dark entities conjured by this group of Witches?” asks the narrator.

Interestingly enough, there actually is a Witch camp not far from Golden. Bagans is right; the area does have modern Witches performing modern Pagan rituals.

It is Free Cascadia Witchcamp, one of Reclaiming’s annual retreats. Last year, the week-long event happened in late June, quite possibly at the same time the show was being filmed. However, that has not yet been confirmed.

During the show, Bagans claims that he attempted to interview and meet the 100-plus people at this Witch camp, adding that his request was denied. They are a “very secretive group,” he explain, “Which raises the question what are they doing? What are they conjuring?” It also has not yet been confirmed whether he actually did reach out to anyone from Reclaiming, or any modern Pagans in the region.

Like many paranormal stories, the entire Ghost Adventures episode feeds off of the theme that the Witch activity is feeding whatever was once conjured back when the church first shut down. The absence of the protection of the church, so to speak, leaves a void for evil, as the story goes.

The show concludes that the hauntings are mainly due to these “man-made” conjurings, both old and new, and they have affected the region’s animals and have enchanted the forest.

While elements of Witchcraft are commonly recalled in paranormal reality stories, this one points very directly to modern Witchcraft practice in an accusatory manner, and has Pagans, who regularly enjoy such shows, deeply concerned.

Peter Wize told TWH, “I have been an avid watcher of Travel Channel’s Ghost Adventures for some time. In one of their recent seasons I have noticed an increasing level of anti-Wiccan /Pagan bias on the show.” Wize found the episode “offensive and openly hateful toward Wiccan, Pagan and Heathen people.”

“I have also noticed that in recent months the Travel Channel’s other ghost hunting show Dead Files has also had a radical traditional Catholic influence to it as well,” Wize adds. “The RTC Christian sect has had a history of paranormal investigation going back to Elizabeth and Ed Warren of ghost hunting fame who called themselves ‘religious demonologists’. Needless to say they take a dime view of witches and occultism in general.”

As Wize notes, the Warrens were famous or infamous for their religion-based paranormal research. Their stories have inspired many fiction films, such as The Conjuring (2013), Annabelle (2017), and perhaps the most famous, Amityville Horror (1979). The concept of the paranormal in such stories pits Christianity, as the safe and sacred, against the occult, as the evil and the ruin of humanity. This is an age-old duality of good versus evil, noted by other Pagans who showed concern.

Like Wize, Yaya Nsasi Vence Guerra is a fan of paranormal reality shows. She explains that, as a medium, she enjoys watching them and critiquing them. “They are entertaining,” she says.

However, Nsasi also recognizes the problem. In an email interview with TWH, she wrote, “Rather than educate, many of these paranormal shows prey on this nation’s puritanical and traditional views of religion. They demonize that which is considered ‘other.’ They give any practice that is non-Abrahamic as ‘occultism.‘”

Along with being a medium, Nsasi is a Yaya Nganga in Palo Mayombe, and a devotee of Santa Muerte. She says, “Many religious denominations view the occult as being anything supernatural or paranormal which is not achieved by or through the god of the Bible, and is therefore considered the work of an opposing and malevolent entity. This is how we then see all paranormal activity connected to demons. Altars are portrayed as gateways to Hell or other dimensions. It gets tiresome.”

“Ghost Adventures is sensationalistic and is constantly naming Satantic practices as the reason house have demon entities,” Nsasi continues.

“This is not to say that there aren’t demons. However, it doesn’t take into account that some entities are not demonic. Some entities are just plain dark, lower-level entities that are operating on low frequencies. There isn’t an exploration of the metaphysical components of the given aspects of all entities; frequencies, how frequencies work, elevated spirits versus lower spirits. It’s always Satan and demons.”

However, according to a 2016 TWH interview with Paranormal Lockdown stars Nick Groff and Katrina Weidman, the reason is not always one of disrespect.

In that interview, both Groff, who once himself starred on Ghost Adventures, and Weidman said that they are not personally religious at all, and that they are very aware of the modern Witchcraft community. However, they both noted that the language of paranormal research is steeped in Catholic theology. It is just what is used, for better or worse.

When asked if they ever consulted or worked with Witches or Wiccans on their show, they said that they had, and welcomed the opportunity. One such person that they cited was author, medium, psychic, and television personality Michelle Belanger.

Belanger is best known in the paranormal world for her work on A&E’s Paranormal State, but she is also considered an expert on paranormal research and the occult in general. One of her books dives into the intersection between occult and the paranormal disciplines. That book, Ghost Hunter’s Guide to the Occult,was published in 2013.

The book’s advertising blurb reads, “How do you tell the difference between the symbol for the Order of the Eastern Star and a pentagram? What does a Wiccan mean when she says she practices Witchcraft? Paranormal State’s Michelle Belanger explores the complex and sometimes confusing realm of the occult, outlining the history of the Western tradition, defining key terms, and exploring the meaning of a variety of icons and symbols.”

The need for such an explanatory text appears to be important considering Groff and Weidman’s statements concerning the language used in paranormal research, which has lead to or has supported the negative, or at the very least confused, portrayals of occult practices, including Witchcraft.

Outside of the religious aspects of the paranormal shows, Nsasi also notes her concern over the treatment of the dead. She says, “Sometimes it gets frustrating because they don’t respect the spiritual realm.”

“Many of the ghost hunters have this hubris about them,” she goes on to say. “They are the living; they have audio recording devices, ghost meter sensors, electromagnetic field radiation equipment, digital spirit voice detectors and, what not. Here, they are all powerful mortals. When the truth is, that these spirits are more powerful than we are and our alliance with them can create beautiful and wonderful things.”

Despite these concerns, many Pagans join the general viewership in being fascinated with ghost hunting and the paranormal. Many of those that we spoke to said that they enjoyed seeing the reality of spirits recognized in the mainstream media.

Alpandia, a Strega living in South Florida who likes going to haunted places herself, says that she enjoys the stories. “It’s another connection to a time past and people who lived before. And seeing the look on the face of the investigators when they are in the moment and have what they feel is a genuine interaction is always fun.”

Emrys, a Witch in Pennsylvania, agreed. She said, “I enjoy the historical and biographical aspects of these shows. They tend to share stories of everyday people you wouldn’t learn about in regular history classes.”

In a 2017 TWH interview, paranormal researcher Brian Laythe did say, however, that “not a single T.V. show […] practices anything close to a reliable scientific method for verifying paranormal claims. Producers want ratings and excitement, not valid science. Thus, most (if not all) shows promote shoddy practice and their own paranormal perspective. Not anything that would come close to science.”

While that may be the case, paranormal reality shows, such as Ghost Adventures, are undoubtedly popular and have been since the early days of television. There is a basic human fascination with this type of storytelling experience whether it is accurate science or not, from the fictional horror films or television serials, to the reality-based shows, or to the lived experience of legend-tripping fun.

Nsasi said, “At the heart of this interest in paranormal shows is the search and/or need to find proof that life isn’t random or prescribed (depending on the spiritual/non-spiritual path of a person). Also that we have less control over things than we thought we did. Also, it adds credibility to the stories we all grew up with about things that go bump in the night. [They] are an actual intersection between science and ‘spirituality.'”

Laythe, who wants to see more occult and magical studies used within actual paranormal research, said, “A scientist is a scientist. We respect all religions, practices, and faiths. Most people don’t separate phenomena (what physically occurred) from the interpretation (whether Christian, Pagan, or otherwise). Any legitimate parapsychologist should be able to separate the two. In other words, something floating is something floating. Whether it was [the Abrahamic] god, the devil, an angel, or Odin is a function of peoples[sic] interpretation of the event.”

In that light, the general fascination with what is termed “the paranormal” is not really much different than the enduring fascination with the occult. The two have more in common than they do different.

Credit: @ourxrayspecs

Link: https://wildhunt.org/2018/01/paranormal-reality-show-blames-witch-community-for-hauntings.html

#HauntedParaClassics

#submission #zakbagans #zak bagans #ghostadventures #ghost adventures #dirtyblog #dirty blog #thedirtyblog #the dirty blog

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deereelis · 5 years

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RE-CALIBRATING...

Written June 11, 2019

Transcript:

Good Morning sunshines, thank you all for being here today. I’d like to start by acknowledging all of you for being here at this moment, friends, family, colleagues, ex-boyfriends, ex-PO’s, teachers, my esteemed spirit community but most importantly... my long lists of partners in crime. My partner whom I share with spirit, my other partner who I share with in love, My other partner whom I share with in laughter, my other partner whom I share with in art and my favorite partner of all: the one whom we shared a body: my seed, my love my utter joy, my mini-goddess... mi hija.

I invited you all here today because I’ve got a little bit of bad news & rather than go and send this many individual text messages, I decided to do it the ‘old-fashioned way’ & make a video on you tube.

Speech: I gathered you all here today to hold myself accountable and apologize to all the men & women I’ve disappointed. I recognize that I have not been the easiest person to deal with and for that, I am sorry. I also recognize that sometimes my snarky remarks, smug face, and my ability to lift your mistakes and downplay my errors can be provoking. Maybe those provocations have led to you wishing bad things for me, saying mean things to me and hoping I would disappear. Maybe you tried to make me disappear, maybe you threatened me, poked me, put yours hands on me, raised your voice, maybe you tried to smear me. Or maybe, you just didn’t say anything when you saw others express meanness toward me. Either way, I wanted to apologize to all of you whom I triggered or offended to the point that you felt uncomfortable.

I accompany your sentiment of discomfort. I too feel extremely uneasy that I exist in a world where we could treat one another so poorly. I have been treated like crap and I have treated others like crap and I regret it, I do. I am by far not a saint, though every day I try to be better than the day before. My life has given me the most unique of perspectives & I’ve learned to embrace them all. Every memory has contributed to the person that I am and who I strive to be and for that I am eternally grateful. The ability to have such vast life experiences that it allows you to connect with people genuinely through love is one of the many blessings of my life. It’s been a long journey and I still have a ways to go. As a child, I chuckled when I saw 2 men kiss; because that's what I knew to be humor. These days, I feel ‘love’... so deeply inside... it overcomes what the eyes can see and what the mind perceives. Sometimes I roll my eyes or make fun of people when they say foolish things, because that’s what I know to be humor; but I want to work on my humor not being at the expense of possibly shaming an individual. Though shame can build character, it’s not my place to build outside of my temple.

I want to free my mind of colonialism.

I want to be in the business of building others and not contribute to their stress. If my humor comes at the expense of picking another apart or using my words as venom to your spirit; no lifting can occur if I am pulling you down.

I want to free my mind of colonialism.

Far from perfect as I am, I live in a home where individuality and creativity is encouraged. I come from a long, deep lineage of strong Puerto Rican matriarchs & the warriors that lift us. In my community we hold up our men and our men hold us up. I have been lifted and supported through the grimiest seasons, by the most masculine of gods.

I try not to make plans too far in advance, because while I may enjoy drinking wine & sitting by a fire right now; in a couple of weeks I may not want to toxify my liver and would rather meditate by a lake. I am constantly changing, and more times than not- am barely recognizable, even to myself.

As many know, I ran for local office for the first time in 2015, because I was tired of challenging a non-inclusive system whose representatives didn’t feel they needed to respond to people like me. So I ran and I won. It’s been an amazing run and there’s nothing I love more than being able to sit at decision-making tables on behalf of folks who don’t typically have a voice: (My identities: disabled, woman, MOM, less-affluent, of Puerto-Rican heritage, reformed hood-rat, Goddess, Artist)

But the truth is, the system needs WD-40 because it is rusty and it has creaky ankles. This structure is set with such rigidity that any attempt to change anything would create such a significant shift in a cycle that’s perpetuated convenient chaos for years. I have had many heated one-sided conversations with humans of the male persuasion who believed that disagreeing on a vote was grounds to threaten, disrespect, or slander another. (Let’s hold this thought)

For the past few years, I have been on a spiritual journey that has intensified deeply in the past few months. Everything I’ve known to be true and my life as I knew it, was no longer. It wasn’t that I stopped loving those whom I’d chosen to build a life with. It was that, the way I was showing up for them, wasn't conducive with my best self (or who I believe her to be). In fact, recognizing that lacking self-love for so many years, created a falsehood of sorts, I had to re-evaluate EVERYTHING. How could I fully love my husband, if I hadn’t learned how to love me yet? What was I teaching my daughter about what love and relationships are through my actions? How could I ensure that my judgmental or critique didn’t make her self-aware or insecure? How can I create space for her to be her fullest self without inflicting my conditions? How can I be a better daughter, sister, mentor- without being a better individual, first? How could I fix my life when I’m so stuck in the hamster wheel of cycle of life to stop & actually fix it?

So I worked at being better. I woke up early to watch sunrises, sunsets, I’ve written, I’ve meditated, traveled, spent time in nature, be mindful of how I eat, reading, called old friends, spoke my truths, participated in ceremony and began to exhibit this beautiful thing called unconditional love within friends and friends of friends. Through this healing community of love, I made new connections with people with similar interests. The question remained, how do I maintain these newfound relationships when I still haven’t figured out how to maintain my nucleus, myself? And who was she anyway? (Let’s hold this thought)

I’ve been in conversation with friends where we project our insecurities onto each other. You accept it because as the more ‘enlightened one’ you see the bigger picture and respect their process? When family begins to ‘judge’ you; ‘resent’ you; and loved ones want to attempt to ‘compete’ with you; you tolerate it because you know that they must be going through something and it will eventually work itself out. When people who were once supporters begin to attack you, and ‘agreeing to disagree’ is no longer a viable option, but you accept it because you accept it as part of the ‘game’ you signed up for. (Let’s hold this thought)

When death, abuse, disease and long held traumas begin to peer their ugly heads to remind you of your limited time on this plane. When you see loved ones suffering, homeless, sick, dying, abused, children left with no parents. When you know your love is vast but your resources aren’t. When you stretch yourself so thin that you no longer respond to emails, phone calls at the pace you once did. There were activities that I once was so excited for that no longer resonate for me, because of my constant evolution. It seemed like a great idea in January, but NO, I am no longer interested in going to that concert. Yes, the book seemed like a great idea a month ago, but I rather read something pertaining to astrology or genetically modified foods. I am a constant, ever-changing soul that has found her way and unfortunately it is NOT the way in which people know or remember me. I am not sorry for what this loss means for you. For to know me is to know how I’ve struggled and to know those struggles, only an enemy couldn’t find joy in my growth.

You see, I am holding myself to a higher standard. I want to ALWAYS see the humanity in folks and am committed to treating everyone I come in contact with, with full-respect and honesty. Mainly, because as long as your heart beats, you remain a wonder and worthy of love. As a steward of love, I accept that calling.. I don’t ask for ANYTHING in return, except mutual respect..

This means that those games of ‘playing victim’ to make me feel bad, the little jabs you take to send a message when you refuse to ‘use your words’ to communicate, those blatant calls and texts of mine you ignore, the ways in which you feel it’s okay to touch me when you’re upset, lie about me, spread rumors about me, threaten me; if it isn’t centered in love & growth; I NO LONGER speak that language. So you can go fly a kite and go fu&k yourself with all that negative self-talk. I can’t keep holding space for all those thoughts without it depleting me.

You see, with all due respect: colleagues, family, friends, husband, daughter, soul mates: we all have a lot of work to do. I won’t ever sit here and pretend to be healed because I’ve got a long way to go before I even scratch the surface of progress. But, I can recognize that I haven’t been living up to the standard in which I know I’m capable of and want to strive to be better. You can come with me for the ride of growth or you can stay where we’ve been. I will love you anyway, but for me- settling in the same ol’ same ol’ is NO LONGER a path I’m willing to travel. I want to be better. I will be better. I don’t mean better THAN you, I mean better than I have been to myself and to others.

I scheduled a trip for my spirit in the first week in July where I’ll be traveling alone to New Orleans. While down there, I will be attending a concert of soul music and only invited my best friends for the concert ONLY. The rest of the week is to nurture my soul, sit with myself and just be. I have a lot of releasing to do of the many ways I’ve absorbed other people’s toxic behaviors towards me and in the ways I’ve internalized and perpetuated those vicious cycles. I also have a lot of forgiving to do: of myself & those who’ve demonstrated remorse.

Being a City Councilor while on this spiritual path has been the most exhausting time of my life. Holding space for others and not having a place to release those holdings has been tiring. Having people tell me I’m a diamond, yet ignore and disregard me like rubbish, is brutal. But what is even more brutal than someone who dares mistreat the Goddess is that their view of whether I am rubbish or a diamond are irrelevant; what matters is that I KNOW I’m a diamond & never settle for less-than diamond treatment.

This diamond has been in the rough & as she buffs herself to shine; she hopes you do the same. So we can all shine together.

For those that feel discomfort of my shine; it isn’t your decision to make.

Blessed be, beloveds.

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jigento-archived · 6 years

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the time has come-- honor code time !!

honor code assessment, here we go !!

for starters, i’m going to start by saying that after looking through a lot of what kuwabara considers his honor code, or at least, the hints to what he includes ( stand up for your fellow brothers, don’t fight women, fight for your beliefs even if it means death ) it leads me to believe that his honor code is heavily influenced on the code of the bushido as well as some of the more notable rules in the yakuza code of ethics or jingi.

as far as the yakuza code of ethics: jingi is concerned, these would be the things that kuwabara would bestow on his fellow gang and, subconsciously, on those in team urameshi. of course, i mainly mean that in the sense of standards that kuwabara holds for those around him and those that he gets involved with. the codes and ethics that others hold themselves to must match or level with his own in order for kuwabara to value the words and actions of someone else.

the jingi is shorter than the lengthy and detailed bushio code, but they basically employ these main concepts:

1.) treat the head of the family with respect. because kuwabara runs a small collection of close friends that double as a street gang, it’s been altered to treat each other with respect. if his fellow friends treat him with respect, then he can respect them.

2.) don’t steal from the everyday man. thievery and criminal activity aren’t things that kuwabara wishes anyone to engage in. in his case, involving the innocent bystander in something that’s between his own group and groups from other schools goes against how they should act. what originates between gangs stays between them.

3.) don’t disrupt the harmony of the gang or touch the partner of a fellow member. this you can definitely see a lot in the way kuwabara interacts and treats yusuke. this can be translated to any and all altercations within his group of friends and kuwabara’s desire to keep things resolved and running smoothly at all times, of course, you can argue with his back and forths with hiei. those, despite being violent in nature don’t detract from the fact that kuwabara respects hiei to a pretty high extent. will he ever admit that ? oh hell no. the second half is very clear in regards to yusuke and his relationship to keiko. it makes the idea of kuwabara bonding with keiko during yusuke’s time with the makai so much more difficult when feelings and emotions come into play. since yusuke and keiko have more history and a more profound bond to one another, it makes sense that kuwabara would keep his distance and be respectful and supportive. he understands that their consideration of each other is something that would be dishonorable to disrupt.

4.) never involve yourself with drugs-- self explanatory.

5.) always be chivalrous. i’ll go over this again with the bushido code of honor later on, but this is hugely important. it’s something that not only does kuwabara hold to his gang and his friends in team urameshi, but it’s something that he holds himself to as well as his enemies. the most important of these, to kuwabara, is first-and-foremost, being a decent human being. respect for everyone, reaching out to help those in need, acting on impulse to defend the helpless, to stand up for those who need someone to stand with them, fighting for just causes, keeping violence where it belongs and with who it belongs, leading back to the bit about the everyday man a bit-- this is one of the main cornerstones of kuwabara’s code of honor.

now the real base of the standards that kuwabara holds himself to can be directly related to the bushido code. within this code are what are widely known as the eight virtues. they can also be tied back to the knight’s code of chivalry ( again with chivalry being one of the cornerstones and foundations of kuwabara’s honor code ).

1.) rectitude - the power to decide a course of conduct in accordance with reason, without wavering; to die when to die is right, to strike when the answer is to strike--’ in the bushido code of honor, this is said to be the strongest defining virtue. of course, it could be argued for kuwabara as well. it’s one of those ‘ goes without saying ‘ type of virtue. he might act recklessly, but that’s only because he knows for a fact what he believes is right and he knows what his morals are. if those morals coincide with fighting or risky maneuvers, then he will act without hesitation. call it instinctual.

2.) courage - courage is exercised in the cause of righteousness and rectitude. kuwabara’s drive to jump in at a moments notice to fight on behalf of someone, in most cases it’s yusuke, or to fight to prove value in his beliefs and/or the beliefs of the team, can be attributed to courage. to know when to fight, when to die, when to act, when not to-- knowing and understanding is one thing, but making the switch from that understanding into a physical acknowledgement and action on its behalf is where courage comes into play as the second of kuwabara’s codes as well as the second virtue in the bushido code.

3.) benevolence/mercy - love, forgiveness, affection for others, sympathy and pity, are traits of benevolence, the highest attribute of the human soul. if anyone knows kuwabara well, they’ll definitely know this is one of the traits that comes naturally to him. love and affection, whether it’s the respect his has for people who are stronger than him, to those who look to him for protection and safe-keeping. it might be difficult to verbally affirm the feelings that he has for certain people, but being able to act on those feelings and allow them to influence his treatment of others for the better, will always prove to be important to his inclusion of those around him in the way he holds himself.

4.) politeness - the description of politeness in the bushido code is mainly rooted in the respect and consideration for the emotions and feelings of others. manners may play a small part, which kuwabara tends to have a difficult time with, but the consideration of others in order to treat them with the highest form of respect has driven him to make decisions and pursue specific plans of action without judgement of the individual in question. this profound respect is most often, in kuwabara’s case, reserved for those who are close to him, this still extends to those outside his personal circles.

5.) honesty/sincerity - within the bushido code, this applies to the earning and spending of money. thrifting proves just how far one can go with the resources that they possess. in terms of kuwabara, his sincerity comes mainly from his open devotion to his code of honor. he’s sincere in the fact that he won’t shy away from admitting that something he’s observed or a certain course of action isn’t true to the person he wants to be. this has nothing to do with money and more along the lines of his own personal conviction.

6.) honor - a vivid consciousness of personal dignity and worth. kuwabara’s worth, while he hasn’t yet figured out what it is and has no way of really understanding his worth in the eyes of those around him, bases his worth on how well he follows his own code. in a way it’s related to conviction, not just his own, but being held accountable by those around him.

7.) loyalty - once those who find themselves close to kuwabara will not live a day to regret the unspoken pact they’ve signed. those he values will find it damn near impossible to dissuade him from standing in their place for battles or speaking up on their behalf. their happiness and wellbeing becomes a priority to him above all else. their hardships become his hardships. their struggles become struggles he hopes to lighten. those that he trusts and puts in faith in will receive an insane level of dedication from him. those close to him are closer than even family. even without blood, the bond that binds him to those he cares deeply for cannot be broken unless their faith and trust in him is brutally severed. there hasn’t ever been a case like that before amongst his peers, so he’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

8.) character/self-control - both the hardest and easiest of the virtues for kuwabara to implement into his honor code. what’s right is right, and what’s wrong is wrong. the difference between good and bad and between right and wrong are givens, not arguments subject to discussion or justification, and you should know the difference. character also leads into kuwabara’s insistence that he not fight women. he was raised understanding that it was disrespectful to hit women, therefore, he’s included it into his honor code. the aspect of self-control is one he has the most trouble with. when he isn’t consciously aware of his actions and how his emotions are affecting them, he borderlines breaking his ability to control himself, and it’s where he gets into the most trouble. he can’t control what he says more often than moments where he can’t logically control what his body does. most of the time that loss of control is caused by his issues with anger.

overall, this is the basis for how i feel kuwabara’s honor code is set up. it’s not as if he’s written any of this down. all of it is self-taught and he carries it with him as if it’s been burned into his memory. maybe it’s subconscious and he’s tailored his lifestyle to include these standards and virtues over time ? for now, all we know and all that i’ve thought about has been that this is something he’s worked on developing and worked on teaching himself so that he can actively model his life around a set of self-established rules to help guide him towards being the man he so desperately wants to be.

#↪ ᶤᵗ'ˢ ᵃ ᵍᵉᶰᵘᶤᶰᵉ ʰᵉʳᵒ'ˢ ᵗᵃˡᵉ : headcanon #in this TEDtalk I will.... no lie-- it's a fucking essay #i'm incredibly proud of this by the way

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mypeachykitty · 3 years

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My boyfriend broke up with me on Valentine's Day.

In Feb 2020 I had brought up the topic of life long commitment, marriage, and kids as a far off plan. But a plan nonetheless. It was different than what we had started our relationship with so I gave him time to process and think about what he wanted. In September, i brought it up again. And he admitted he cant agree to wanting the same thing. So we went our separate ways. 1.5 weeks later he comes to me and shows me his money spreadsheet and says he wants me in his future plans. So then we continue our relationship.

This February he said he felt like he was forcing him self to be committed and he didnt want to feel tied down. I was very surprised bc I always made sure our autonomy was respected. There was always trust and respect and we never had issues of infidelity. I thought we were good so the break up hurt like hell and I tried to make sense of it by trying to understand him and in turn I ended up understanding myself more.

As I'm processing and going through the motions 3 weeks later we talk and I unfold a lot of stuff I had been thinking about and processing. I noticed the red flags I chose to oversee bc I loved him and had many redeeming qualities and I never wanted to change him. Then I told him I wish he would have handled everything better... but we ended the way we did and in turn I've learned what I want in a partner and I'm learning how to show up for myself.

So then he deeply apologizes and admits that he fucked up and wishes we could work shit out and that he wants to work through the stuff that holds him back to fully opening himself up in a relationship. As reluctant as I felt, I was being pulled back in. And at first I think it was to see if I could call his bluff about wanting to work out his issues with commitment and heal his inner child. Then he tells me he wants to work on it together. After carefully thinking about it, I realize - I do want to be there with him as we both work our own stuff out. We don't have to figure this stuff out apart if we are willing to do it together. A part of me is annoyed at him for saying all the right stuff after jumping the gun but I jump the gun too so it's hard not to be understanding.

I want us to redefine what love means to us and make sure our definitions match. What kind of love experience do we want?

We started therapy together. We talked about accountability. I felt triggered because his indifference to things makes me feel like he doesn't take ownership. He seems so removed from himself and in turn he removes himself from others. And he also noticed he does this with people closest to him and not his friends or acquaintances.

I want to give us a fair chance and be present in the now but in order for me to do that, I want to move through the pain.

How do I move through the pain and learn to invest in our relationship again?

I think the pain he caused is so great and I dont know how to reconcile the fact that someone hurt me so effortlessly and unintentionally. Can I still be with someone who i feel this towards? It gives them the opportunity to hurt me again and i can't trust that he won't. He can't trust that he won't. So then what am I doing? Relationships are living organisms, they breathe, they expand and contract and if we get to a place where the contracting feels too long, I can sense it. I'm hypersensitive to his closed off energy and I try to ignore it sometimes because I don't want to take things personal but I notice it and I dont know how to put it in words. When I have asked, he brushes it off or just ignores stuff that bothers him but I would like for these things to be brought up. And maybe they have nothing to do with me but I cant trust that they're not having to do with me bc he held back a lot for I dont know how long.

The little things make up the big stuff. I want to know his needs. Conversely, I feel like I hold back from communicating my needs as well so as to not push him away. At least this used to be the case but I'm learning to speak from a place of kindness and self worth. We're not on the same wavelength. Sometimes we think we are but it's better to talk it out bc I think we hold back. Maybe if we did talk more honestly with one another, we would realize that we're off balance? If we did, would we find a reason to let go?

If he spoke to me honesty and transparently, can he still do it with kindness and humanity?

Sometimes I feel like he's living a secret life that he's ashamed off and idk what he has to be embarrassed about. Id like to work on my judginess bc that is off putting to him and I would like him to be more open with me, otherwise I feel insecure.

You have to know what you're willing to fight through. I do not tolerate disrespect or violence. I want mutual respect and freedom.

Can we achieve this?

#Relationship #Codependency #healing

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hecallsmehischild · 7 years

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Reading on into chapter 3 of The God Delusion. I have to agree with Dawkins on the weakness of a lot of the arguments that have been made, though C.S. Lewis would have something to say about the paradox of omniscience and omnipotence (and honestly his exasperated snark over the use of the English language to bring about a meaningless sentence is a riot to read). The proofs Dawkins pulls from Aquinas do not feel like actual proof, more of probability theories that don’t stack up, so I agree there. And St. Anselm’s ontological argument is little more than evasive wordplay to me and if anything could be used as an equal argument that we created God out of our minds. So, I agree there.

The issue with the “argument from beauty” is similar to the issue with the “argument from personal experience” which is that Christians tend to take that which is a personal proof and try to make it universal. (side note, I am not here trying to convince people, I am rambling on my understanding and giving examples, so I am not trying to build a ground up case, of course I have some assumptions. But I’m meeting things I read with my reactions and understanding) So, given the vast expanse of humanity and the insanely different experiences we all have, I don’t find it unreasonable to think that if God did make us and cares for each person, then if He is calling someone He will speak in that person’s language. And I don’t mean just their spoken language. There are languages within each language. The language of art, the language of science, the language of a fanatic collector. There’s also a specific shade of meaning that I may give a word, yet that word has an entirely different association to another person. Certain images or symbols or games may have certain histories or associations with certain people. All this is part of learning an individual’s “language.” To me, it is not implausible that God will reach out to a person through an experience that directly correlates to their personal “language” to let them know how deeply they are known and loved. The trouble comes when that person then uses that as proof to another person who does not speak the same language; it sounds like nonsense. Here I would also agree with Dawkins that (while I do think personal experience is a beautiful thing and can be affirming among people who believe) it is unlikely to be any kind of proof to someone who does not. Further, it is unfair to assume that beauty and personal experience can be proof to everyone and “the end of the argument”.

However he’s starting to hit a wall with me on the argument from scripture because a lot of what he’s charging (in fact some of his statements word for word) have been asked and answered in a book I read called Case for Christ. They were answered, in fact, so thoroughly as to make the statements he is throwing out sound sullen and petulant. I understand that is not his tone and I don’t mean disrespect, but with the things I read, there is no way that Jesus could have been mistaken about who he was and, actually, if you do take the historical understandings that he claims have been missed, there are many times that Jesus claimed divinity (the evidence is not nearly as “minimal” as he claims). In the Case for Christ, document transmission is accounted for, the time between Jesus’ death and the accounts of his life is explained (and not as long as Dawkins seems to paint it) and… I’m super curious now if Dawkins ever read the Case for Christ or talked to Lee Strobel, as Strobel’s book has been out since the late 90’s. The sheer amount of evidence for Jesus being exactly who he said was laid out in exacting detail by an investigative journalist who, at the time, did not believe. (And I am highlighting strongly that it is laid out in exacting detail IN THE BOOK. The movie was good, but only touched on the major highlights because, well, it’s a Hollywood movie, not a documentary miniseries). Basically every point Dawkins brings up to disprove the gospels is really thoroughly addressed in Case for Christ so I can’t say this section convinced me of anything.

The argument for admired religious scientists is a fairly won point that I will concede. I think I already agree about Pascal’s Wager arguments. The Bayesian arguments kind of went over my head?

All in all, most of the time I found I already agreed with Dawkins about arguments that were weak, though sometimes I believe the arguments are misplaced (i.e. beauty and personal experience arguments really shouldn’t be classified as universal proofs even though yes I know many Christians make those into universal proofs. I don’t think they should be. They lend themselves more to internal or personal confirmations). I only very strongly disagreed with his assessment of the gospels because I’d read a book that dealt with pretty much every single point he raised.

My boyfriend, who is reading this with me, raised an interesting question too. Dawkins dismantles weak arguments with fairly large sections spent on each, and yet while he acknowledges C.S. Lewis once or twice, he spends about as much time talking about him as he does listing 6 points from “Over 300 Proofs of God’s Existence,” giving idiotic points the same weight as Lewis when Lewis spends a whole book on each point he wants to make. Dawkins must have read Lewis to be referencing him. Is there a reason he didn’t spend more time on the guy who, in spite of repeatedly professing to be a layman, laid a lot of theological foundation for understanding why we believe what we do? I’m not asking rhetorically or suspiciously. I’m honestly curious why he didn’t do more than briefly reference Lewis and his arguments.

Next up is the much hyped chapter 4 (if I have to read the phrase “which you will see in chapter 4” one more time… sorry, that sort of thing bugs me when it’s overused). Overall thought so far is… I feel better? Odd as it may sound, I was really afraid to read this book because I was afraid I was too stupid and it would be so mind bogglingly convincing that I would be shaken. And I’m not saying HE’S stupid either, by the way. But what I’m saying is, I’m finding where I do agree and where I don’t agree and WHY and in the process I’m also realizing I’m not nearly as stupid as I’ve been afraid.

#wrestling with God #Child loves books

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koriginaladdict · 7 years

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How now that I had a good preview of TW fandom i confirm what i already said, too many “cas fans” completely failed their “fave” for a ship

I’ve been in spn fandom, and now i went back to teen wolf

I’m a castiel and derek hale fan, and while i looked for fics about them i noticed a glaring difference between how the fans support them

most cas fics are dest/el, but you could find like 5% other than that if you dig enough

almost 99% of derek fics are sterek

BUT

most cas fics written by dest/el shippers (most not all) tear down the angels, write them as uncaring, horrible to cas while in canon most were shown to care deeply for cas and want what’s best for him, and defended him against how badly the winchesters treat him all to show how “the brothers are HIS REAL family”

most derek fics written by stereks actually explore his backstories more than the show ever cared to do, his family was fleshed out, given flashbacks, laura hale is pretty recurring in those fics, also a lot give his pack (erica, boyd, isaac) a 2nd chance, explore an actual pack dynamic (instead of acting like derek is the worst thing ever when he never had a chance to make it up) they create such amazing stories even a non shipper like me, find myself completely hooked in most of the fics, the relationship is there,but no one is ever brought down to prop it up

what i love most about derek stans is that, they viciously defend him no matter what, scott blatantly said that “maybe his whole family did something to deserve burning alive” something like that and no one acts like scott loves derek or scott is a better friend to derek than anyone else, scott uses derek’s body to give gerard the bite, tricking him into thinking he has accepted being part of his pack and then gloated in his face, the fandom doesn’t act like every one else treats derek horribly and scott is the only one worthy of being with him

well over the dest/el fandom the standards are so fucking low it’s pathetic, while i mentioned two big examples paralleling them with scott/derek well, let’s just say what dean put cas through would take me hours to list just check cas deserves better tag, and yet people (again not all, but too many) act like dean loves cas and his verbal abuse is a sign that it’s a “cute married couple” and is secretly in love

ok someone might say “you’re biased, derek was pretty agressive back on s1 and you don’t defend stiles”

again i’m not a shipper, but it doesn’t matter unlike dean, derek is always held accountable for anything he does or blamed for things he didn’t, but here’s the thing HE EVOLVED!! he got better, he didn’t spend 6 seasons mistreating anyone (he was mostly the receiving end) there was development and i can accept that, cause no one is perfect

(and stfu about “but john” bitch derek is the living breathing example of how having a shitty life isn’t an excuse to be a shitty person to others no need to make excuses blaming anyone but your fave, he needs to get over himself and be better)

dean rarely changes, while there’s slightly less horrible abuse by s10 but that’s mainly because cas isn’t around as much as he used to, the track record is horrifying, 8 years of endangering cas, rarely saving him, can you believe after all the sacrifices cas made and all the suffering he went through it took the winchesters 8 whole seasons before doing anything that could be considered remotely decent by not leaving him to die in 12x12, while yeah it’s good it shows how horrible the situation was

and the shippers, when dean does something horrible like ? bully a mentally ill cas and yell “nobody cares that you’re broken” or kick him out to starve and freeze while he was human. what would the fans do ? yeah they’ll jump to defend dean against any valid criticism using the old “it’s john’s fault” “he didn’t tell him bedtime stories and trained him to surive being hunted by demons so everything he’ll do as an adult is his fault” “dean probably heard john say that to him”

ok but how about sam, they had the same father? while yes it was dean who suffered most of it i admit but still, sam never ever treated cas the way dean does (with 2 exceptions and one of them was souless) so are you implying that dean is so weak he has no ability to be better?

I almost forgot to mention, while the abuse is always overlooked at best, glorified at worst, there’s another aspect i don’t like : “REDUCING EVERY SINGLE HEROIC THING CASTIEL DOES ABOUT DEAN” cas wants to save sam? it’s not because he’s that good or because sam is his friend, it’s for dean, cas saves the world? it’s all thanks to dean who taught him, cas rebels, nah it’s not about the world ending it’s all for dean

also, i wrote a rant about how the showrunners disrespect the actor playing castiel misha collins, what was some of the shippers’ reaction? to completely dismiss it, saying the show’s mantra that they’re family and love each other and it was his idea when there’s no proof of that, they’d rather defend anyone but the person they act like supporting, we even lost like 15 followers because of it, if i reblog some posts defending castiel losing some followers is guaranteed and it’s just, idk cas deserves better than his “fans” completely ignoring his pain cause acknowledging it would severly harm their ship

my point is, when i joined yet another fandom it’s more and more obvious how spn fandom is pretty messed up, and failed their so called fave just for a ship, a toxic ship that is a huge reason why he’s left with so many mental issues, why with the constant abuse and bringing down he completely stopped believing in himself (also the writers sabotaging him plays a role but nvm)

#castiel #cas deserves better #bitter cas girl #anti destiel #destiew #anti dean winchester #don't read this if you're a shipper or if you're gonna be pissy about it

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djgblogger-blog · 6 years

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The NFL and 'Close Ranks,' 100 years later

http://bit.ly/2GYyoVu

The NFL is attempting to make protests like this one by members of the Cleveland Browns illegal in the league. AP Photo/David Richard

The recent decision by the NFL regarding player protests and the national anthem has yet again exposed the fraught relationship between African-Americans and patriotism.

The controversy has taken place nearly a century after another time when African-Americans painfully grappled with questions concerning loyalty to the nation and the struggle for equal rights.

W.E.B. Du Bois. Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division

In July 1918, at the height of American participation in World War I, W. E. B. Du Bois, the acclaimed black scholar, activist and civil rights leader, penned arguably the most controversial editorial of his career, “Close Ranks.”

“Let us, while this war lasts, forget our special grievances and close our ranks shoulder to shoulder with our own white fellow citizens and the allied nations that are fighting for democracy,” he advised his fellow African-Americans. Du Bois acknowledged that this was “no ordinary sacrifice,” but black people would nevertheless make it “gladly and willingly with our eyes lifted to the hills.”

Pressured from league owners, white fans and the president of the United States, black NFL players are now faced with the dilemma of closing ranks and forgetting their “special grievances,” or continuing to protest against racial injustice.

The history of African-Americans in World War I, as I have explored in my work, offers important lessons about how to confront this challenge.

The NFL, race and the national anthem

Last season, during the playing of the national anthem, dozens of NFL players kneeled, locked arms and raised their fists in protest against police and state-sanctioned violence inflicted upon African-Americans. Their actions elicited a fierce backlash, much of it fueled by President Donald Trump, who encouraged his overwhelmingly white base of supporters to boycott the NFL so long as players, in his view, continued to disrespect the flag. Seeking to avoid further controversy, on May 23, Commissioner Roger Goddell announced that for the upcoming season, “All team and league personnel on the field shall stand and show respect for the flag and the Anthem.” Not following this directive could result in teams being fined and players subject to “appropriate discipline.”

Approximately 70 percent of the players in the NFL are African-American. They have also been the most visible faces of the national anthem protests, which began in 2016 with quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who is currently unemployed and suing owners for collusion to keep him out of the league.

I see the decision by the NFL as an unmistakable attempt to police the actions of its majority black work force, impose what amounts to a loyalty oath, and enforce through intimidation and threat a narrow definition of patriotism. The message is clear: Either demonstrate unqualified devotion to the United States or be punished.

African-Americans and World War I

African-Americans confronted the same stark choice during World War I.

In previous conflicts, African-Americans had sacrificed and shed blood for the nation. But patriotism alone has never been enough to overcome white supremacy. By 1917, as the United States prepared to enter the world war, disfranchisement, Jim Crow segregation, and racial violence had rendered African-Americans citizens in name only.

Black people thus had every reason to question the legitimacy of fighting in a war that President Woodrow Wilson declared would make the world “safe for democracy.” African-Americans immediately exposed the hypocrisy of Wilson’s words, while also seizing the opportunity to hold the United States accountable to its principles. They did this, in part, by serving in the army, as some 380,000 black soldiers labored and fought to not just win the war, but to also make democracy a reality for themselves.

African-Americans also recognized the importance of protest. Discrimination and racial violence continued throughout the war, highlighted by the East St. Louis massacre in July 1917, where white mobs killed as many as 200 black people. In response, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People organized a Silent Protest Parade in New York City, where more than 10,000 black men, women and children peacefully marched down Fifth Avenue carrying signs, one of which read, “Patriotism and loyalty presuppose protection and liberty.”

‘Closing ranks’ and the costs

Just as it does today, protesting racial injustice during the war carried risk. The federal government wielded the repressive power of American nationalism to crush disloyalty to the United States. The Espionage Act (1917) and Sedition Act (1918) severely curtailed civil liberties by criminalizing “disloyal, profane, scurrilous, or abusive language.”

“100 percent Americanism” entailed the policing of immigrant communities, restricting freedom of the press, jailing anti-war activists, and monitoring African-Americans, including W. E. B. Du Bois, for potential radicalism. This pressure, along with the personal desire to demonstrate his loyalty to the nation, compelled Du Bois to soften his critiques of the government and issue his call for African-Americans to “close ranks.”

“The words were hardly out of my mouth when strong criticism was rained upon it,” Du Bois later remembered. Even during a time of war, most African-Americans refused to set aside the “special grievances” of segregation, lynching and systemic racial abuse. And Du Bois paid a heavy price. William Monroe Trotter, the fiery newspaper editor and civil rights leader from Boston, branded Du Bois “a rank quitter,” adding that his one-time ally had “weakened, compromised, deserted the fight.”

But African-Americans, having fought for democracy, would surely be rewarded for their loyal service and patriotic sacrifices, Du Bois reasoned.

To the contrary, they were greeted with a torrent of racial violence and bloodshed that came to be known as the “Red Summer” of 1919. White people, North and South, were determined to remind black people of their place in the nation’s racial hierarchy. Race riots erupted throughout the country and the number of African-Americans lynched skyrocketed, including several black veterans still in uniform.

The NFL’s decision is essentially an attempt to appease the mob in 2018.

Echoing the backlash following World War I, the vitriolic reactions to the national anthem protests reflect what happens when African-Americans physically and symbolically challenge an understanding of patriotism rooted in white supremacy and racist ideas of black subservience. I believe the NFL has acquiesced to the threats of President Trump and the unrest of its white fan base by establishing a policy that requires black players to remain docile, obedient employees, devoid of any outward expression of racial and political consciousness, which sole purpose is to entertain and enrich their owners.

And now, the NFL wants black players to “close ranks” by giving them the false choice between standing for the pledge or hiding their protest in the locker room, conveniently out of sight of fans in the stadium and away from television cameras.

The league ignores any mention of the “special grievances” of police brutality, racial profiling and antiblack harassment that remain alive and well. Ironically, the NFL has been the one to transform the flag into a political weapon to silence black activism, protect its corporate interests and maintain a racial status quo. Displays of patriotism and loyalty to nation are meaningless when not accompanied by the actual freedoms and protections that come with being a citizen.

W. E. B. Du Bois would spend the rest of his life questioning his decision for African Americans to “close ranks” during World War I. He ultimately recognized that until America reckoned with its racist history and embraced the humanity of black people, the nation would remain deeply wounded. At the age of 90, reflecting on the questions that shaped his decades of struggle, Du Bois pondered, “How far can love for my oppressed race accord with love for the oppressing country? And when these loyalties diverge, where shall my soul find refuge?”

Like the battlefields of France 100 years ago, the football fields of NFL stadiums are just one place where African-Americans have historically sought to answer these questions. And simply closing ranks has never been sufficient. In this moment of racial repression and moral mendacity, when the ideals of democracy are undermined daily, the debate over national anthem protests reminds us that the fight to affirm the sanctity of black life is much longer and deeper than a Sunday afternoon game.

Chad Williams does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

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marklewis777-blog · 6 years

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The day it all changed...

At the age of 53, today I celebrate my 27th birthday. Hang with me.

Perhaps some friends with very different world views will find this thought provoking…and not preachy…perhaps even dialog worthy. You know where to find me. 27 years ago, on April 7, 1991, Jesus gave me new life and started a "new thing" in this human being. I hadn't hit "bottom" or anything...that came 10 years later. He BEGAN the work in me...and it continues each day. Today, I see His hand in my life more than ever. There are still plenty of challenges, but I face them with different perspective...an eternal(long term) viewpoint. I see the dark parts of my soul and thus my need for him more than ever. I am more grateful than ever. I love him more freely…and more deeply than ever. I am humbled by the 27 years worth of people he has sent to sown into my life. I am in awe that he has used me to do the same for others. I've seen and personally experienced physical healing and watched peoples lives that were in bondage(serious emotional/chemical/spiritual) be set "free". I've seen very broken relationships healed. I've seen "coincidence" that is NO WAY coincidence, but nothing short of answer to prayer and/or miraculous intervention/insight. I trust that those of you with different world/faith views know I care for you deeply, and you don't see me as a nutcase(well, at least not spiritually:)...and know I respect your viewpoints. We can dialog and disagree without offending one another(what a concept). I am grateful for the wisdom I often receive from you! Here's the deal: Jesus is not a placebo. Not a crutch. Nor is he a guarantee of an easy life. Relationship with him is life-giving, transformational and catalytic. Our western idea that "all religions are basically the same" is just, well…western. This idea doesn't work when one looks at the facts. I believe we disrespect other faiths by throwing them in one bucket so we can stay comfortably on the fence. BUDDHISM holds that life's suffering is caused by desire, so the "goal" is to rid oneself of any worldly or personal desire(kinda impossible in 2018 America, huh?). At it's core, it denies a "god" and holds to reincarnation and/or nirvana (not heaven). HINDUISM is polytheistic with no personal god, but millions of gods that must be pleased. It holds to reincarnation and karma - you get what you deserve(which, if we are honest, puts each of us in a very precarious position spiritually speaking). ISLAM, like Christianity is monotheistic, and though it recognizes Jesus as a prophet, it is blasphemy to consider him to be God. Also, one must earn his/her way into paradise...without really knowing if one has done enough "good". Exhausting. JUDAISM is also monotheistic, and though it points to Jesus all through it's own writings, the Jews are still awaiting their messiah. ATHEISM takes the huge leap of faith that there is no creator(though they often get offended by people worshipping this non-existing god). No ultimate meaning to life. No afterlife. All truth is relative(except for the "truth" that all truth is relative. Whoops). NEW AGE exalts self to "god" and oneness with an impersonal universe (As far as I've seen, humans make pretty bad gods who fight primarily for their own little kingdoms, and the universe doesn't "know" me personally…nor does it, or can it love me.) There is an innate response in the human being to worship SOMETHING. All through history… human beings have worshipped something or someone. It sure seems we are hardwired for relationship with a "higher power" or entity. Always searching for "it'. CHRISTIANITY is monotheistic and has a relational God. It is not based on do's and don'ts or earning one's way to God. The believer lives in RESPONSE to Gods gracious and loving response to him/her. God came TO man as Jesus…as a servant. He left eternity and ended up on the cross. God became SERVANT to man in order to build relationship. Let that sink in. Does any other faith that has thrived have a servant, sacrificial creator? With Christ, there is GRACE, not karma (AKA - you get what you deserve). No deeds needed to gain favor. No need to "find God"…he was never lost. He reaches out to us. This is love.

Now…before your knee jerks too fast... Early in my faith, I was still skeptical at times. The more I studied, the more I saw that even liberal historical scholars acknowledge the following about Jesus:

1 )He did exist.

2) He claimed to be God incarnate(One cannot call him a "good teacher" or a "moral man" if he falsely claimed to be God, and that HE was the ONLY way. What do you do with that?! Either he was God or he was a nut job).

3 )His opponents did not deny his miracles which they SAW and HEARD about, but blamed them on "demonic powers".

4) The religious leaders crucified him for his claim of being God.

5 )He died by way of crucifixion.

6) He was VERY much dead.

7) His tomb was found empty- which was guarded by Roman soldiers (highly trained killing machines who, if they lost the body of Jesus, would be executed)

8) Historical accounts show he appeared to over 500 people AFTER his death.

9 )He appeared to men walking on the road to the town of Emmaus. This was a 7 mile walk from where he was crucified. Remember, he died with spikes through his feet and hands. Flesh ripped from his back. Spear into his heart. Massive blood loss. He was dead…and days later, appeared alive walking on this road (this story is told by previously cowarding disciplines who were eventually killed because they would not recant.

10)After seeing him alive again, His followers, who scattered like cowards while he was being beaten and crucified, were suddenly emboldened and all but one died as martyrs for what they stood for.

11)People will often make up and follow something they know is a lie, but they will not die for what they KNOW is something they made up…at least not en masse.

12) The historical apostle Paul was not only considered to be one of the brightest, influential and intelligent religious leaders of his day, but he was a hired gun sent out to persecute and kill people of "The Way"(Christians). He would gloat over his victims. Today we would call him a terrorist. His historically documented conversion has got to make one consider what he experienced when Jesus appeared to him. Paul became, arguably, the most influential voice of Christianity aside from Jesus himself.

13) Immediately after Jesus' alleged resurrection, people became part of this movement (now about 1/3 of the world's population - it all started from a homeless "peasant"(?).

Lives and cultures have been transformed for over 2000 years because he is the real deal.

27 years ago, I got to a place where, if I believed there was some sort of Creator(which makes a lot of sense if I was being intellectually honest), this Jesus made a lot of sense. It is not a matter of one spiritual bent being right or wrong, but a matter of one that makes sense. One that yields ongoing good fruit. If one is going to hold tightly to a "faith" of any sort…which will ultimately greatly influences how they live, it ought to hold up to hard, objective scrutiny. If God is real, it makes sense to discover what that journey would look like. Even if it challenges one's status quo, personal preferences or life-long held beliefs.

One might say, "well what about the crusades"(etc) and all the bigoted and violent things done by those who claim to follow Jesus. Not to mention our current day “far right” culture that wrongly marries nationalism and so-called “conservative politics to Jesus. I will say without hesitation that they do not represent the historical and biblical Jesus. Sadly, there are people and groups from all faith streams that bring shame to what they claim to believe. Don't let "church" or professed Christians be your (only)example of what the Creator of the universe is like. The truth is, all humans are hypocrites at times and misrepresent what they say are their personal convictions. Don't let politics dictate your view either. Believe it or not, there are true Christ-followers who are republicans, independents, and yes, even democrats. Yep…I know some Jesus lovers who where "feeling the BERN" in the last election cycle:)

Look to the source - Jesus. Do some objective research. There have been much smarter, more highly educated skeptics, more vehement “God-haters”, more vicious murderers, more broken addicts, more promiscuous adulterers, and more wretched sinners than you and I who have come to love this Jesus.

So...here's my happy bday card to me:) Thanks for the 27 years. Looking forward to the next.

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