#but also right now she's just a smooshed little baby. who knows! who knows what she will look like

[britneyshakespeare]

you know my niece was at the house two days ago. im just realizing right now that this might be the first time i mentioned on tumblr im an aunt now. since mainly i post my mundane and momentary thoughts on here, not my significant life updates that i do a lot of reflecting on. sometimes ill make the book im reading sound like a significant life update but alas. yes i have a niece now and she's just over a month old. she was over on sunday along w all my other siblings. it's actually the first time ive gotten to HOLD her bc she was in the nicu for awhile after she was born, and then shortly after she came home everyone in my house took turns catching colds. the niece was over though. yeah.

and my brother (not the one whose baby it is) said "you know her hair almost looks reddish." and it honestly. HONESTLY. it never occurred to me, for as long as ive been aware that i had a niece bakin in the oven (and i found out in like... mid-january that my sister-in-law was pregnant). for the entire year of 2023 i never pictured the possibility that i could have a niece or nephew with red hair. SOUNDS STUPID BECAUSE I HAVE RED HAIR. i know. i have a big irish family but in my generation out of all of my cousins, kaily and i are the only redheads. my brothers dont have red hair, neither do their wives. my parents dont. you know how jkr and other writers like to write a trope of an entire family (of celtic ethnicity) is all redheads? thats actually incredibly uncommon. if anything that's why i like having red hair; it has distinction. that distinction very much still holds within my own family tree.

so i love baby, i love her so much, she's wonderful. she's beautiful. i love her so so much. and i love her beautiful parents too. however, if she does end up having red hair. it's just reddish tinted right now and she doesn't have a lot of hair overall. and you know how babies are, it can change. if this little girl grows up with red hair i'm suing for copyright infringement. im sorry but i did it first so that's not fair.

[absurdthirst]

The Cost of Addiction {Frankie Morales x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11k

Warnings: Drug use, angst, heartbreak, childbirth, fighting, mentions of divorce, breastfeeding, fingering, vaginal sex, clitoral simulation, nipple play, slight lactation kink 

Comments: Frankie misses the most important day for you, the day of your daughter’s birth. All because he was getting high while you were in labor. At your wits end, you throw him out. Making your husband desperate to make things up to you, to be what you and your daughter need. Even if it means going to South America with Pope for the money he’s offering. 

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

A/N: This story contains issues of drug abuse/childbirth. If these topics bother you, please do not read. 

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“Come on, come on!” You hiss, staring down at the phone as it continues to ring. The sense of fear and foreboding gripping you tightly as the seconds tick by. 

“You’ve reached Francisco Morales, leave a message.” 

Groaning, you wait for the beep. “Frankie, where the fuck are you?” You demand, voice creeping up as you feel another contraction start to roll over you. “I’m in labor. Get hereeeeeeee!” You break off in a cry and try to breath through the contraction for the next forty five seconds, the recording still going. “Fuck.” You whimper, alone in your hospital room. “Please baby.” You beg before you disconnect the call and immediately open your messages to send yet another text that will be delivered but not read, just like the last fifteen texts you’ve sent this morning. ‘Where the fuck are you?’ You demand.

“This is the last time.” He promises himself as he stares at the baggie on his work desk. You will be having the baby any day now and he knows he can’t keep doing this. No matter how much it numbs the pain of his past misdeeds. The screams of the men he killed…the accidental deaths of women and children who were known as collateral damage. It haunts him every single day. This is the only thing that helps him silence the screams of their deaths. He swallows, grabbing the baggie and shoving it into the trash can, burying it at the bottom for the cleaner to unknowingly throw out when they come by later. 

His shift has ended and he knows he should go home, set up that baby rocker you’ve been asking him to fix up but he’s worried he’s not going to be a good dad. Is he too fucked up to nurture his child? Is he going to be hated by them when they are older and find out what he’s done. Closing his eyes, he lets the high wash over him until he hears his cell vibrate again. Picking it up, his eyes open and widen at the missed calls and texts from you. “I’m in labor…" That’s all he needs to hear before he is grabbing his car keys and speeding to the hospital. He doesn’t know how he gets there without crashing from his high but he does and he shouts for your room before speeding down the hall.

You hear the commotion from down the hallways, but you don’t even look up. Too entranced by the tiny little face of your daughter. Perfect and slightly smooshed from being pushed out just twenty minutes before. You bundle her closer and stroke her tiny cheek, smiling when she makes a small noise and wiggles slightly, impossibly small fingers coming up to rest beside her face in a fist. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” you murmur softly. “I can’t believe that he missed this. Missed you being born.” The door bursts open and you see Frankie rush in, chest heaving and his eyes wide.

“Oh my - fuck. I’m so sorry baby. I’m so, so sorry.” He chokes, stumbling over to you and looking down at his daughter in your arms. He smiles, a grin on his face as she coos and he is instantly in love with her. Almost the same feeling he had when he met you. Like he had finally found a missing piece of himself. His eyes flick up to you, “I’m so sorry, hermosa. I- fuck. My phone - it was off for flying and I was working late and then - I didn’t see your messages but then I came straight here when I did.” He promises, hoping you believe his lie.

You want to believe him, but you can’t. Not when his eyes are blown, pupils dilated and he’s looser than he normally is. He’s high. Your heart shatters and you shake your head, swallowing as tears fill your eyes. “You’re fucking high, Francisco.” You nearly sob. “I- you got high while I gave birth to our daughter alone!” It’s difficult to keep your voice down, you don’t want to upset the baby, but you are furious. Tears spill down your cheeks, both in heartbreak and having one of the most important days of your life ruined.

He chokes, guilt threatening to strangle him as he stares at you, crying because he missed the birth of his child. “Baby. I- I’m so sorry. Please. I didn’t - tonight was the last time. Because of her - I wouldn’t - I’d never - it’s done with. I’m never doing it again. I just needed to calm the screams. Please. I’m so sorry.” He sobs, chest heaving as the guilt settles on his chest.

You shake your head, having heard every time that it was the last time, that it was only a little, it didn’t affect him that much. “Francisco…” You take a deep breath and look down at your daughter. “You need to leave.” You tell him firmly, having come to a horrible realization that the first time he laid eyes on his daughter, he was high on cocaine. You didn’t want that for her. “I’m done, I can’t do this - I have to do what’s best for my daughter.”

Frankie rears back like you've slapped him. "Wha- what? You - baby please. Don't - don't do this to me." He begs, shaking his head at you. "Don't - I love you. God, I love her already. Give me another chance. I can be better. I can stop doing coke. Just - please. Please."

“You missed our daughter's birth because you were snorting coke!” You hiss. Your heart rate monitor is starting to beep wildly as you get more and more agitated. “Just go, go Frank.” You reach over with the hand that isn’t holding the baby and swipe at your cheeks. “You love the powder you shove up your nose more than us and you’ve proven it. Just please go.” You sob.

Frankie’s high is starting to wane so he says something he never ever would say sober but he can’t help it when his high is rushing through his veins. “Fuck you. How do I even know she’s mine? Maybe that’s why you want me to leave.” He spits at you, knowing deep down that he will regret that later.

You choke out a cry and the baby responds to your distress, letting out a squawking cry of her own. Your nurse, your wonderful nurse who had held your hand while you cried when it was obvious that Frankie wasn’t going to make it, rushes into the room. She sees you crying and Frankie standing by the bed and immediately takes charge. “You need  to leave. Now.” She orders Frankie sternly, pointing towards the door while you try to shush your daughter, curling around her protectively.

Frankie clenches his jaw, ready to fight. “I’m not going anywhere. Fuck you.” He points at the nurse before he turns back towards you. “You can’t keep me from my kid. I have rights.” He growls and the nurse calls for security. When the two men come into the room, he realizes what he said. His shoulders slump and he nods, “I- fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry baby. I love you. Please…please forgive me.” He begs, tears streaming down his cheeks as he steps towards you.

You flinch away, twisting your body to protect the baby. You don’t think he would hit you, but you know he’s not in his right mind. Who knows what he would do now that you are kicking him out. “Just go.” You beg, voice cracking.

Frankie chokes, shaking his head and the security guys step closer to him. “Come on, man. You gotta go.” They reach for Frankie’s arms and although he knows he could shrug them off, he doesn’t. Crying as he lets them guide him out of the room. His glassy eyes fixed on you and the baby, knowing this could be the end. 

“I’m sorry.” He calls out, sobbing as the guards guide him to his truck, helping him in and he slams his hand on the steering wheel.

You bite your lip, tears still pouring down your cheeks and you lean over to kiss your daughter’s forehead. “It’ll be okay.” You promise her. “It’s the two of us and I’m gonna be here for you.”

****

Frankie calls up his dealer, devastated and honestly, wants to just black out. Forget this ever happened. Swallowing harshly after making the call, he drives back to your shared home, walking in to see the baby bouncer he should have put together in the hall, and he collapses. He knows he’s fucked up everything good in his life. All he can hope is that you’ll forgive him.

****

You had driven yourself to the hospital and it was lucky that you had installed the car seat yourself as well as packing the baby’s bag to keep in the car since it was your first baby. So you didn’t have to call anyone to bring you anything. You had ignored the few texts he had sent, almost blocking him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You were done, emotionally and mentally. Two days after Frankie had been thrown out of your hospital room, you pull back into your driveway and sigh. You were home with your daughter and it’s bittersweet. Especially with Frankie’s truck in the driveway.

Frankie looks up as the garage door opens, his heart pounding and he hopes he’s cleaned up properly from the baggies he had done during your absence from the house. He’s going to get clean if you forgive him. He shuffles around the house, quickly checking everything is ready, including the balloons he’d put up for the baby plus the baby bouncer he has cursed but managed to put together.

You manage to get the baby out and push the door open, stopping when you see Frankie standing there in the kitchen, scrubbing his hands on his jeans and shuffling nervously. You can’t concentrate on him, too busy trying to get the bags and the car seat in without waking her up.

Frankie rushes over to help, reaching for the car seat but you bat his hand away. “Leave her.” You hiss, not wanting her to be woken up and Frankie’s heart breaks at the disdain in your eyes. 

“I- im sorry.” He whispers, “can I help?”

“No.” You carry her into the living room and set the car seat down and deposit your bags beside her before you turn and look at the man you have loved so much. “I- Francisco, what are you doing here?” You demand, putting your hands on your hips and frowning at him.

He frowns back, “I live here. I don’t - I - I know i fucked up baby but I ain’t moving out.” He shakes his head at you, “she’s - she’s my daughter - our daughter. You can’t keep her from me. I haven’t even held her.” He chokes out the last part.

“I don’t trust you to.” You admit, glancing back at where she is sleeping peacefully. “Francisco- I- I can’t trust you, you knew I was due any day and you got high.” You shake your head. “I can’t trust you around her. What if you drop her? What if you get high and forget to feed her?” You swallow. “Either you go or I will.”

He hesitated, knowing he can’t kick you out with the baby. He wants to stomp his foot and demand you stay here and so does he so you can work this out but he also knows you’re stubborn like him. He needs to give you time to calm down. “Fine. I’ll go get a bag. I’ll go to Will and Benny’s.”

You stand guard over your daughter, trying to ignore the memorabilia of the life you had built together. You had meant it when you had said you didn’t trust him. For all you knew, he was high now. Instead, you start to go through the bags and unload them, knowing that you should take advantage of her being asleep.

Frankie is pissed off when he packs a bag, unable to understand why you won’t stand by him. He shakes his head, flinging the bag over his shoulder as he walks into the living room. “Can I- please. Can I just see her?” He pleads, wanting to see his daughter.

You glance at the car seat and give a small nod, knowing he deserves that much. “Surprised that you actually believe she’s yours.” You huff, carefully unbuckling the straps and easing her out of the seat. She whines but settles back into your arms quickly. Soon she will need to feed, your breasts are starting to get heavy. “You should have been there.” You murmur. “You should have held her the moment she came out.” The bitterness is heavy on your tongue but he doesn’t seem to care how badly he hurt you.

Frankie sets his bag down, walking over to you holding the baby. “I know. I know I should’ve gone there. I’m so sorry baby, I’m so sorry.” He chokes, looking down at the baby in your arms. A sob escapes his lips, “oh baby. She’s - she’s so beautiful.” He reaches out to gently caress her soft cheek and he’s glad you let him do it. “Hermosita.”

You sniffle and nod, agreeing with him about that. “I’m sorry too.” You murmur softly, wishing that he hadn’t fucked up so badly. You had known he had a problem, but you thought he had it under control. “I- take care of yourself, Francisco.”

He feels like his heart has been ripped out of his chest but he’s caused this. You just need time. He lowers his hand away from the baby and looks into your eyes. “I’m gonna fix this.” He promises before he turns and grabs his bag, lifting it onto his shoulder. “If you need anything…call me. Any time of day or night.” He pleads.

You bite your lip, resisting the urge to comment that it might not be the best idea because he might be high. “I’ll - I’ll keep that in mind.” You tell him finally, tears glistening with unshed tears.

Frankie stares at you one more time, swallowing harshly before he makes his way to the garage. Driving away from his home, from you and his daughter, is destroying him but he knows he’s fucked up and he has to repair that. He’s gonna find a rehab first thing tomorrow to be better for his family.

****

You shift your daughter to your shoulder, patting her back as you get up from your spot on the sofa and walk towards the door. You had just finished feeding her when the doorbell rang. Trying to keep her on a schedule was difficult but you were trying. Worn out from doing it on your own, even if you haven’t heard from Frankie since he had left the house the day you brought the baby home. Will and Benny had checked on you a few times, but hadn’t mentioned your estranged husband.

Frankie shifts from one foot to the other, flowers in his hand, and he prays you’ll forgive him. When you open the door, he swallows harshly and looks at you, hoping you will give him another chance. “Hey hermosa.” He offers you a smile, his dimple showing as his heart pounds in his chest. The teddy bear tucked under his arm is for Mia.

You swallow, running your gaze up and down him and am surprised to find that he looks good. Not that he doesn’t always look good, but he looks sober. “What do you need, Frankie?” You ask, tired and ready for a nap as soon as Mia falls asleep.

He shifts awkwardly from one foot to the other, not sure what he expected from you - he expected you to be cold but this is arctic. "I went to rehab. Thirty days. That's why you didn't hear from me and I - I am going to therapy. I also got fired...they found the baggie and my license is suspended so I'm just trying to focus on staying sober. I've - I missed you so much." He croaks out, his throat tightening.

You deflate, sighing and shaking your head. “You still had that shit?” You shouldn’t be surprised, you knew he wasn’t going to quit. “Congratulations on completing rehab and I’m sorry about your job.” You offer woodenly before you hear a loud belch from your daughter and smile at her for a moment. “I- I need to put her down for a nap. I’m sorry, I have to go.” You murmur, moving to shut the door.

"Wait. Please. Can I-" His dark eyes flick down to the bundle in your arms. "Can I please just see her?" He begs, his tone pathetic but it's all he thought about while he was in rehab. You and your daughter. He is desperate to see her. "Please, hermosa. Just- just one look."

Your heart cracks slightly, hearing the plea in his voice, the desperation in his eyes. She’s five weeks old and her father has laid eyes on her twice. For all of twenty minutes. Even if you know it’s because you made him leave, it still hurts. Cradling her head, you shift her off your shoulder and into your arms so he can see her.

Frankie's eyes widen when he sees the beautiful eyes of his daughter. A smile stretching over his cheeks as she looks up at him. "Hey baby girl. It's your daddy. God, look at you. Already so big. Beautiful, just like your mama." He reaches out to caress her dark eyes - just like his own.

Mia is curious, staring up at him and you swear that this is what you wanted when you had found out you were pregnant. After going so long without kids while Frankie was active duty, it had seemed like a blessing. Except you never imagined doing it alone. She yawns and blinks owlishly, making you start to gently sway her in your arms. “I need to put her down for a nap.” You repeat. “Because I desperately need one too.”

"I can watch her. Or do something around the house. Make lunch. Please, just let me help. I won't stay long...just until you've had a nap." He is desperate to stay, having seen his child and you, he doesn't want to leave. He will beg at your feet if he has to.

“That’s not-“ You stop yourself from finishing the sentence, about to turn him down. Except, if you refuse him he’s probably going to leave and go get high. “The bassinet is in the bedroom with me.” You explain. “But if you want to just watch her sleep, you can.”

He takes the opportunity, nodding as you step aside to let him into his home. It’s strange being back here after so long but he is comforted. “I’ll just watch her.” He promises, setting the flowers down along with the teddy.

You lock the door behind him and turn to make your way down the hallway towards the bedroom you had shared with him for years. It was strange feeling his presence behind you. You couldn’t hear his footsteps, you never could, but you knew he was there. Walking in right as she starts to fuss again, apparently deciding she wanted a second meal right before her nap. “Okay, sweetie, okay.” You murmur softly, shifting her to your breast and pulling your tank top down so she can root around and immediately latch on. Breast feeding and walking was a thing, so you continue over to the bed. “It’ll be a few more minutes.” You tell Frankie, not ashamed to feed her in front of him, he had helped make her, he had seen your body thousands of times. 

Frankie stares, unable to look away from you and the nursing baby. He should’ve been there the very first time this happened. He knows he’s fucked up but this moment right here has him wishing he could go back in time. He feels sick with regret that he’s missed so much time with his daughter and with you. “It’s okay, hermosa. How is she sleeping? How are you sleeping?” He asks with concern, wanting to know if you’re struggling. He should’ve been here to help you, for those 3am diaper changes, for cooking you meals and letting you nap while he watches her. He should’ve been here for it all.

“It’s….having a newborn.” You manage. “She’s cluster feeding so pretty often we are up most of the night with her latched on.” You shake your head and look down at her, smiling as she gulps greedily and you smooth back the downy fine hair covering her little head. “She’s a good baby. Little monster when she’s hungry, but she’s good. She rarely cries.” You could talk about your daughter all day, have - in fact. Although you’re sure that it’s common for new parents. “I’m managing.” You give a small shrug as if it’s not a big deal. “Already gone back to work- from home.” You don’t mention that you had to. The finances had dictated that you needed to when you realized there weren’t any paychecks being deposited. You had thought he had just decided that he was redirecting his pay. Now you know it’s because he was fired.

His heart is about to break. You shouldn’t be managing, he should be here to help you. He should be taking care of you and his child. It kills him inside that he chose coke instead of his family. He wants to go back in time, change it all so he could be here with you and Mia, loving you and living together as a family. “I- I can try and help. I am trying to find a job until I can get my license back. I’ll help.” He promises, knowing that you should be concentrating on Mia and not work.

You give another small shrug of your shoulders. “I don’t expect anything, Francisco.” You murmur softly, knowing that he will need to survive too. He couldn’t live on Will’s couch forever. Right now, you honestly don’t know if you would ever be able to forgive him for what happened.

“You should. I fucked up and I- it’s not her fault that I fucked up. She deserves the best of everything. So do you. You deserve the world and I want to give it to you. I am so sorry. I regret every fucking minute of the day that I wasn’t there for you and her. I’m so sorry. hermosa.” He chokes, tears in his eyes.

You bite your lip and give a small nod, unable to say much. Mia’s little eyes start to flutter closed, falling asleep with your nipple in her mouth. Making you huff fondly and shift her so you can put her down in the bassinet. “What’s done is done.” You murmur softly as you cover her up, tuck your breast away and turn to look at him. “I’m going to- I’ll be right here.” You will wake up as soon as she cries, but you still worry. “Just- wake me up when she wakes up.”

Frankie nods, leaning back against the chair you have in the corner of the room after taking a seat. “Sleep.” He orders, noticing how exhausted you look. When you settle under the covers, asleep within moments, the guilt really threatens to overwhelm him. He walks over to the bassinet, just staring at Mia as she sleeps. 

He isn’t sure how long he’s there for until she begins to wake up. He sees how exhausted you are and takes the risk to scoop her up into his arms so he can soothe her, murmuring to her as he carries her into the living room. “Hey hermosa. It’s me, your daddy. I- I am so sorry.” He chokes, tears in his eyes as Mia looks up at him, blinking before her face screws up like she’s about to cry. He rocks her, soothing her until she settles again, and he begins to tell her about his mistakes. Promising her he won’t fuck up again. “I promise you, I will be here for you and your mama. I won’t ever leave, even if your mom doesn’t want me, I will always be here.” He assures her.

Waking up, you gasp when you don’t see Frankie or Mia in the bedroom. Scrambling out of the bed, you remind yourself that Frankie wouldn’t take her. Still, you’ve never been too far from her since she’s been born. You stumble into the living room, wide eyed. “Everything okay?”

Frankie looks up from Mia, blinking away the tears that gathered in his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m good. We are good. I just - I wanted to just sit with her. Talk. You know…explain why I haven’t been here. I know she won’t know but I just - I wanted to….” He trails off, feeling a little dumb now.

“Oh, okay.” You murmur softly and nod. You want to cry at the image of Frankie holding your daughter. You should be mad, since he didn’t wake you up - couldn’t follow instructions - but you aren’t. Instead you hate that you haven’t seen this a hundred times already. “Okay. I’ll- I’ll take this opportunity to shower?” You ask. “If you don’t - if it’s okay?”

He nods, “of course, hermosa. Go shower. Do you - do you have any milk? I can feed her. Or change her?” He offers, desperate to help out in any way he can and he wants to help you, he should’ve been helping you.

You gesture toward the kitchen. “I’ve got some milk stored in the fridge, but she’s never had a bottle.” You admit. “If she doesn’t want the bottle, just bring her to me. Won’t be the first time I’ve fed her in the shower.” You joke weakly.

He is thankful he has family who have kids so he is used to feeding and changing diapers. He lays Mia down in the Moses basket in the living room, caressing her cheek before he makes his way over to the kitchen to get the milk you’ve stored in the fridge for his daughter. Once he has it all prepared, he settles Mia in his arms to feed her but she keeps her mouth closed, not wanting the bottle. “Come on, sweetheart.” He murmurs softly. When she just won’t take the bottle, he sets it down and carries her to the bathroom, knocking on the door to interrupt your shower.

You had honestly felt like she wouldn’t want to eat from a bottle, leaving the door unlocked. “Come in.” You call out, fully aware that he was still your husband. Your post baby body was nothing to write home about, but damned if you weren’t too tired to hide behind a towel. He could just deal with flabby skin and stretch marks while he was giving you the baby.

Frankie tries not to stare as he holds the baby out towards you when you pull back the curtain. You look fucking beautiful. God, so fucking beautiful. He feels sick about fucking up so much and losing you. You have just had a baby but Jesus, his cock twitches anyway. “She wouldn’t take the bottle.” He tells you, averting his eyes to focus only on your face.

“I honestly thought she might not.” You admit, stepping out and reaching for her. “I can feed her really quickly and then finish up.” You tell him, watching her immediately latch on greedily to your breast as if she were starving.

“Okay. I can change her if you want after?” He offers, wishing he could stay longer but he knows you’re gonna kick him out soon. “Sure.” You nod, dripping water as you breastfed and Frankie is certain he’s never seen a more beautiful sight.

Frankie doesn’t leave the bathroom, even though it’s filled with steam and you don’t have the heart to kick him out. His eyes are fixed on Mia and you feel another little chip of the ice covering your heart fall off. Despite what had happened, he obviously wants to be here with his daughter. “I’ll work on getting her to take a bottle.” You say, more to yourself than anything, but you know he would want to feed her.

“Whatever you want, baby.” He responds from habit, knowing he shouldn’t say that nickname to you but it’s a slip of the tongue. “I, Uh, I can go if you want?” He offers, knowing you might be sick of him being around the house.

“It might be best.” You acknowledge, unsure of how to navigate this with Frankie. “I’m sure you’ve got a lot to do. And I don’t want to keep you from it.”

Frankie nods, suppressing the sigh that’s about to escape his lips. He knows he has caused this himself and he won’t argue against you. He knows he needs to go and leave you be. “Can I - would you mind if I come back another day to see you both?” He asks hesitantly.

You know you can’t keep your daughter from Frankie. You could, but you don’t want to ruin him. He’s doing a good enough job of that himself if kept on. “Sure.” You give a small shrug and switch her over to the other breast. “I’m just trying to work in the mornings during her first nap.”

Frankie nods, “I’ll try and help you. Get you some money to help towards Mia. I don’t - I don’t expect to have - whenever you need help. Day or night. You call me. I’ll be here.” He vows, wishing he could come home. Spend all of his time with you and the baby, but he must accept the consequences to his actions.

“Okay.” You agree, knowing that you won’t keep him from knowing about Mia. Just that you won’t text him. You don’t want the disappointment of him not coming through.

Frankie hates leaving but after kissing Mia goodbye and telling you he will see you later, he gets back into his truck. He feels like he’s leaving his heart behind but he has no choice. He has to prove to you that he can be better, that he is better.

****

It’s been two weeks since Frankie showed up on your doorstep, sober. He’s called and texted nearly every day and been over as often as you will let him. Eager to please and to prove himself to you. You know that it’s because he wants to come home, but you are so very scared of that, of him doing the same shit again. “So Benny’s fight is tonight, right?” You ask, shifting Mia onto your shoulder to burp. She hadn’t wanted to take a bottle again this time so you had fed her while Francisco told you about his plans tonight. You wish you could have a night out, but you bite your tongue and don’t comment.

He doesn’t want to go to this fight. He’d rather stay here with you and Mia, but Pope is coming and he said something about a job. He desperately needs money, his license still suspended and pending investigation. “Yeah. Pope is in town so I gotta go.” He explains, knowing you’d understand he wants to see his best friend.

“You don’t owe me an explanation.” You remind him, giggling slightly when your daughter lets out a man sized burp. “She inherited that from you.” You tease, at least feeling good enough to joke with him about things that concern Mia. “Ms. Gassy and I will just hang out and go to bed early.” You shift her down to your arms and smile when she gurgles at you. “Won’t we, sweetheart?”

Frankie is reluctant to leave but he knows he has to. Swallowing harshly, he gathers himself and stands up, brushing Mia’s head with his hand before he leans down to kiss your forehead, unable to stop himself. “I’ll see you later.” He promises, knowing that what Pope has to tell him will be about some kind of op. It always is. He just hopes this one is an earner so he can get his license back and support his family.

Your evening is calm. Just you and Mia. After a bath, she goes down to bed easily and you order some food, too tired to cook. Francisco has been by often, but you didn’t let him do much for you. If he wanted to hold Mia or change her, that was fine, but he wasn’t beholden to help you. Sitting on the sofa, folding a load of endless laundry with a newborn, you stream some new show that you don’t even really pay attention to, just there so you don’t feel quite so alone.

Frankie knows he should turn down the op, knowing it’s gonna be risky if Pope says it’s safe and quick. He doesn’t want to leave you and Mia but he has no choice. He has to go. He needs the money. He wants to say goodbye first so before he heads to the airport, he drives over to the house, ringing the doorbell.

You look up from your take out and frown, wondering who is at the door. It’s late, and you know that Francisco is probably still with the boys. You wish he was here as you cautiously open the door.

Frankie shifts from one foot to the other, waiting for you to answer and when you open the door, his eyes widen. “Hey.” He says weakly, “can I come in?” He isn’t scared of your reaction, you’ll probably be glad to be rid of him.

“Hey.” You are relieved that it’s Frankie, relaxing and opening the door wider. “Sure, come in.” You offer. “Mia is asleep though.” You check his eyes and see that he isn’t drunk. You wonder why he’s here. “Something wrong?”

He shakes his head as he enters, “no. Nothings wrong.” He lifts his hat off of his head to run his fingers through his hair. “It’s just…Pope has a job. It’s in South America and he wants us to leave tomorrow. He said it’s safe but it’s Pope and he says what he wants to get us on board so I wanted to come by and just - I wanted to see you and Mia before I go.”

Your entire body freezes when you hear that he’s taken another mission. “I- you’re going?” You choke out, instantly fearful of what might happen. He’s not taken any more contracting jobs since you had put your foot down when he got out.

He nods, knowing you hated him going on ops but he has to go. His future depends on it. “I have to. It’s…it’s seventeen grand. It’s enough to get my license back and give you and Mia what you need. Shit, I gotta go. I have to do this. For my family.” He tells you, wishing you would let him touch you, kiss you one last time. He knows the risks involved with this mission.

You swallow and shake your head, furious that he would once again put himself at risk. “I knew that they were always more important.” You lash out at him, hurt that he would put himself in the position to potentially get hurt or even worse. “Just do whatever you want.” You finally spit after a long moment where he stares at you silently.

Frankie shakes his head, knowing you're mad at him. “I know you’re pissed but I gotta - I am doing this for my family. The guys…I love them all but you - you and Mia are everything to me. I’m doing this for you. You deserve the word and I am going to give it to you. Prove to you that I am worth a second chance.”

You huff and shake your head. “You don’t go around the world to prove you deserve another chance.” You argue, knowing his mind is already made up and he is going.

Frankie knows you’re pissed and he won’t push you. “It’s complicated. I gotta go pack. We are leaving at 4am. Can I - can I see Mia before I go?” He asks, wanting to say goodbye to his daughter just in case he doesn’t come back.

“Sure.” You won’t deny him even if you are upset at him. He’s been good with his daughter. “She’s asleep but if you want to wake her up, that’s okay.”

He nods, knowing he shouldn’t wake a sleeping baby but he has to see her before he goes. He doesn’t know if he will be back. He walks into the bedroom he used to share with you, walking over to the bassinet to see a sleeping Mia. He scoops her up, chuckling softly at the small whine she releases at being woken up, a cry escaping her lips before she snuggles back into Frankie’s chest, recognizing her daddy. 

“Hey hermosita. It’s me, daddy, I’m sorry to wake you up but I wanted to tell you that I love you. I’m going away for a bit but I’ll be back soon. I promise you, I’m gonna do every single thing I can do to get back to you and your mama. God, I love you both so much. You’re my world and I swear, I’ll do whatever it takes to come home and when I do, I’m gonna look after you and mama, give you everything you’ve ever wanted.” He murmurs, kissing her forehead.

You close your eyes, having heard everything he said through your baby monitor. Blinking back tears, your wish you could talk Frankie out of it, but you know you can’t. All you can do is pray that he comes back. You listen as he murmurs to your daughter as he puts her back in her crib. You blink back tears and take a deep breath to try to keep your emotions in check. It hits you that your husband, even if he was estranged right now, he’s still your husband and you love him. You still love him no matter what has happened.

Frankie stares at Mia for another second before he makes his way back into the living room, seeing you by the baby monitor and he knows you heard everything. “I meant it. I know you hate me right now but I love you baby. I will do everything I can to make it back and then I want us to talk, figure out what we are doing. Whether it’s giving it another go or - or divorcing. I love you. Just remember that and if - if it all goes to shit, my will is in the safe.” He walks over to you, kissing your forehead before he makes his way out of the house, determined to not change his mind.

****

You bite your lip, watching the international news trying to look for any news on Americans in South America. You haven’t heard from him in nearly two weeks, even though he was supposed to only be gone five- six days max. “Come on, baby.” You huff. “Where the fuck are you?”

Frankie exhales in relief when they make it into the boat, choking on the water he swallowed by accident when he was screaming for Will to hurry the fuck up. He can’t believe he’s alive, certain that he was gonna die on that beach. On the mountain. At any fucking point the past few days. He wipes his forehead, watching Will and Pope carry Tom’s body across the deck and he knows he has to call you. That could’ve been him. He finds the captain, asking if he has a satellite phone. The captain nods, pointing to the phone on the side. Frankie grabs it, immediately dialing your number.

“‘ello?” You mumble into the phone, broken from your sleep by the ringing of your phone. Blindly reaching for it and answering when you don’t recognize the number. “Frankie?” He would call you from crazy numbers all the time while he was on ops and you have been praying to hear from him.

“Baby it’s me.” He feels like a weight is lifted off of his shoulders when he hears your voice. 

“Frankie?” You gasp, eyes opening as you realize your husband is alive. “What happened? Where the hell are you?” You ask and he sighs, rubbing his dirty cheek. 

“It went to shit. Listen, don’t worry about that. I’ll tell you later. I just - I wanted to call and tell you that I love you. I know I’ve fucked up but you’re the love of my life. I love you. I - fuck - you and Mia. I don’t want to live without you both.” He chokes, tears in his eyes. “Tom’s dead. He got shot and I- I kept imagining it was me and I have so many regrets. I fucked up and I’m - so so sorry.” He sobs, his composure finally falling after enduring hell for the past two weeks.

“Oh my God.” You immediately tear up, thinking about Molly and girls. Even though Tom was separated, it was still going to crush the woman who had been married to him for seventeen years. “You’re okay? You’re not hurt, tell me you’re not hurt?” You demand, sitting up and gripping your phone like you are holding him. “When are you coming home?”

Frankie swallows, trying to compose himself. He can break down later when they are all truly safe. “I’m okay. Bruised up and fucking exhausted but I’m okay. Baby, I am so sorry. I love you. I just want you to know I love you and Mia. I would die for you both. We should be home in a couple of days. We have money. Lots of it. We are going to put it in a bank in St Johns. Then we will be home.”

“Okay.” You are nodding, even though he can’t see you. You don’t care about whatever money he’s talking about. You just want him back safely. “We’ll be waiting, Francisco.” You promise before he hangs up.

****

When Frankie arrives at your door, he is freshly shaven, and exhausted. He just wants to hold you and Mia. He rings the doorbell, shifting from one foot to the other, his bag over his shoulder as he counts down the seconds until you open the door.

When you open the door, you can’t help but gasp. He’s different. Sorrow weighs on his shoulders and he’s clean shaven. Something he hadn’t been since he had gotten out of the Army. “Frankie!” You don’t have the baby, she’s down for a nap and you are so relieved that he’s back safely, you launch yourself into his arms. “Oh my God, you’re home!” You cry happily.

He wraps his arms around you, pulling you close and he buries his nose into your hair, just breathing you in. When it hits him that he could’ve died - the closest he had ever come to dying - he starts to sob, pulling you impossibly closer as he chokes up. After a moment, he pulls back and tilts your head up, your own eyes glistening with tears, and he surges forward to press his lips to yours. After a second, he realizes what he has done and pulls back, his face shocked. “Shit. I’m so sorry, hermosa.”

“Don’t-“ You grab his shirt and drag him closer for another kiss. You decided after the call that had kept you awake for the rest of the night, that you were going to give him another chance. He’s your husband and he’s tried to make up for it, he’s still trying. He almost died trying to make up for what had happened. “I love you.” You tell him breathlessly against his lips.

He is shocked but doesn't give himself time to mull it over as he desperately needs you. "I love you. So much." He rasps before he presses his lips against yours, it's not soft or sweet. It's desperate and sloppy, he has to touch you. His hands trail over your body, squeezing your ass to pull you up against him.

You whimper against his lips and slide your hands around his neck and tangle your fingers into his hair. Letting your tongue slide against his and kiss him back just as roughly and passionately as he is kissing you. You moan when you feel his cock pressing against your hip. “Frankie.” You are wearing a sundress since you had gone out with the baby to shop earlier.

He groans, sliding his hands under the dress so he can touch your skin. He feels like he’s on fire, having gone without touching you since before you had the baby. He continues kissing you, plundering your mouth with his touch as he grinds against you, fucking desperate for you. “Tell me what you want.” He pants against your jaw, wanting you to tell him before he does something you’ll regret later.

You shudder, loving the raspy, deep timbre of his voice. Getting lower when he’s turned on and wants you. He teasingly calls it his bedroom voice but it absolutely is and it always makes you wet to hear him talking in that tone. “I-I want you.” You confess, turning your head and scattering kisses along his clean shaven jawline. “I need you, Francisco.”

That’s all he needed to hear. Grabbing your thighs, he grunts as he lifts you, carrying you over to the sofa since the bedroom seems so far away. He sighs into your mouth and kisses down your neck, pushing your sundress up to your waist. “I’ve missed you. Longed for this every fucking night. God baby. I love you. I love you.” He moans against your chest, nuzzling your breast and he needs to see all over you. He grips your dress, lifting it up higher and pulling it off when you raise your hips for him.

You nod, knowing that you have missed him too. Despite everything, you are still wildly attracted to the man you had married. “Love you too.” You promise. Reaching out and stroking his hip, sliding your hand under his Hawaiian shirt that he had shown up in.

His heart feels like it’s about to jump out of his chest when your fingers caress his stomach and he slides his hands under you to unclip the nursing bra, desperate to see more of you. He tosses the bra aside after tugging it down your arms and he bends over to take a nipple into his mouth, not bothered about the squirt of milk as he sucks on your tit.

You gasp, grabbing onto the back of his head. Keeping his mouth on your breast. “Oh fuck, Francisco.” You moan quietly, feeling the way heat pushes through your entire body. “It feels, oh God it feels good.” Your fingers tangle in his hair and you stroke his shoulder while he sucks.

He has missed this more than he could ever say. He groans, switching to your other breast, sucking and swallowing the spurt of milk, biting down softly and loving your gasp. “That’s it baby girl. I got you.” He murmurs after releasing your nipple and he begins to kiss down your stomach.

“No.” You stop him from going down further. You don’t want him to do that, a little worried about what he would think now that your body had changed so much since you have given birth. “I want you.”

“I want you too, baby. I just - I don’t want to hurt you. We haven’t - it’s been a while. You want my fingers or my tongue?” He asks, kissing your stomach, lathing his tongue over your stretch marks, loving each one since they gave him a daughter.

You whimper and shift your hips up. “I- your fingers.” You whine, imagining the stretch of his fingers inside you before he  slides inside you. Trying to drag him up so you can kiss him.

He moves quickly to slide his hand into your panties, loving the whimper that escapes your lips when he finds your clit. Rubbing small circles on it as his lips find yours, sliding his tongue back into your mouth.

You can’t help but moan, even though you know that Frankie doesn’t mind. He’s not the most vocal in bed, unless he’s extremely pent up, but he loves making you give him all the little sounds he says are so sexy. Arching your hips up to meet his hand, you can’t help but make the comparison to when you had found the energy to rub your clit a few nights ago - hoping it would help you sleep. He did it so much better. 

He rubs your clit slowly, kissing you and just loving how responsive you are. Sliding his fingers lower, he pushes two into you, groaning at how wet you are. “‘Is okay?” He asks, knowing you’re past the six weeks but he wants to make sure you’re comfortable.

“T-thicker than I remember.” You pant out against his lips. Your hand grips the back of his and you moan, rolling your hips into his next pump. It’s perfect, the way that he stretches you out and fills you. So much better than what you could ever do. 

He hums in delight, pleased that you aren’t hurting, and he presses his lips to yours once more, rubbing your clit with his thumb. He’s determined to make you cum, to somewhat make up for all the time he’s been gone.

In and out, his fingers pump and curl while he rubs your clit. Making you feel better than you have in such a long time. You always feel right, when you are with Frankie. Moving with him and rolling your hips up while your kisses breathe into one another, making you even wetter when he bites down on your bottom lip and makes you gasp his name. 

“You gonna cum for me, hermosa? I want that beautiful little cunt to grip my fingers, soak them with your cum. You gonna do that for me? Soak my fingers and moan my name so sweetly like only you can.” He isn’t a talker usually but the near death experience has him rambling.

“Fra-Frankie.” You whimper, biting down on your lip and feeling your body build itself up for an orgasm. He always knows how to wind you up, to make you sing for him and today is no different. “Baby, I’m- I’m gonna cum.” You feel him nuzzle your jaw, kissing and humming with a low groan of approval. 

“Cum for me hermosa. Want to feel it. Want to hear it. Cum.” He pleads, his cock throbbing in his pants and he works his fingers a little faster, pressing up against that spot inside of you.

“Baby!” Your cry is soft, mindful of the baby, but your entire body reacts when you cum. You stiffen, back arching and your cunt clamps down around his fingers while you sob his name. Pushing it out, every syllable coming from your lips with another wave of pleasure.

He loves it, he’s missed this, and he silently swears to himself that he’s gonna do whatever it takes to make sure you give him another chance. He wants to make you feel like this all the time. He groans and kisses along your jaw, working you through it while his thumb moves from your clit, just working his fingers in and out of you.

“Oh God, oh fuck.” You whine, eyes rolling back and you reach down to slide your hand over the hard bulge of his cock beneath the denim. “I need you inside me.” You beg softly, squeezing him firmly. “Please baby, I’m on birth control.”

He groans at the feel of your hand. He has only jerked off since he left the house, unable to even look at another woman when the love of his life is on bad terms with him. He shifts, slowly pulling his fingers out of you and he shoves them into his mouth so he can taste you, pulling them out before he works on taking off his shirt.

You gasp when you see the bruises, making you sit up and kiss your chest. “Oh God, love.” You whisper, pressing your lips to his heart. “I'm so glad you are here.” You promise. “I want you inside me, Francisco.”

His heart thumps in his chest when you call him by his full name. He loves hearing you say it despite hating it as a kid. He shrugs off his shirt and reaches down to unbutton his khakis, shoving them down his thighs along with his boxers to expose his hard cock. “Are you sure?” He asks you, caressing your thigh as he looks down at you.

Spreading your legs wide, you throw one leg around his hip and beckon him closer. “Don’t even take them off all the way.” You tell him with a smirk. “Let’s re-live those early days when you would fuck me in your uniform.”

He chuckles, remembering those frantic romps when he could spare a moment to come and see you. He shifts closer, hovering over you and notching his cock at your entrance after spreading your arousal on his length. His eyes meet yours and he slowly pushes into you, watching you for any sign of discomfort.

“Oh fuck.” You whimper as he stretches you out around his length, making your eyes roll back. “Franciscoooooo.” Your nails dig into his shoulders as you cling to him and you moan out. “It’s so- so good.” You’ve always loved sex with him, loves the way he feels inside of you. You’ve missed this since you’ve given birth, since you’ve missed him.

Fuck, he’s missed this. You always look so fucking hot when he first pushes into you. Almost like your soul is leaving your body. He groans and leans down to press his lips to your jaw, wanting to hear your cries of his name as he pushes deeper until he is pressing against your cervix.

There’s always a slight pinch of pain that accompanies fucking Frankie, but you love it. You love how deep he gets and how full you feel. He pauses, just like he always does and your whimper is met with a slightly breathless chuckle from your husband. He knows you want him to move. Contracting your cunt around him, he grunts at how tightly you squeeze him. “Move baby.” You beg, wanting to feel that delicious scrubbing sensation of the dragging of his cock inside you. 

“Impatient as always.” He chuckles, shaking his head at you before he slowly pulls out, his elbows by your shoulders as he slowly pushes back into you. His arms practically shaking with his control. He wants to fuck you hard, reassure himself that he’s alive and with you and not in a body bag. He doesn’t do that though because he doesn’t want to hurt you. “So tight. Always so goddamn tight. Shit baby. I love you.” He murmurs, kissing your neck.

You can feel his restraint. His back is trembling under your fingers and you sense the tension in his entire being. Having felt this before when he was pent up and needing to work out his emotions on your body. You wrap your legs around his waist and moan, turning and biting his ear. “Fuck me.” He shudders. “I love you, but right now, I need to you fuck me rough. Make it ache.” You beg. “Leave bruises under my skin. I need it.” 

He is reluctant at first but when you scratch your nails down his back, he lets go. Pushing in harder and deeper on the next thrust, he groans your name and works up to a harsh pace. His hips hitting your ass as he rocks into you with wild abandon, teeth gritted with the effort.

“Fuck!” You cry out and push your hips up, meeting  his harsh thrusts and moaning when he hits deep. “Yes baby- oh fuck!” You squeal when your cunt clenches involuntarily, his cock hitting the perfect spot deep inside you. 

Frankie knows that cry when he hits that spot so he keeps his hips angled to make sure you cry out like that again. Thrusting hard and deep, he hisses your name when your cunt gushes around his cock, making you even wetter. "That's it hermosa. You gonna cum for me?" He asks, shifting his weight so he can squeeze one of your tits.

“Yes.” You gasp out, toes curling in pleasure and you turn your head so you can scatter kisses down his jaw. “G-gonna cum. Cum all over you baby.” You promise, panting out his name again. “Oh fuck, Frankie.” He’s rocking into you frantically, hitting that spot over and over again for another half dozen thrusts before you are falling apart for him. “FRankie!” 

He fucking loves this. God, he's fucking missed this. "Fuck." He growls, "that's it baby. Be a good girl for me. God, soaking my cock. So good for me." He bites down on your shoulder, struggling to work you through it with how tight you are gripping his cock.

When he talks like this, it’s all you can do. Soaking his cock exactly like he wants you to and shuddering through the bursting pleasure that courses through your body. Shaking and trembling under him in the first satisfying orgasm since you’ve given birth, you whimper out his name again before your orgasm eases off and you stop clenching around his cock like a vice. 

He swears his heart is about to burst with love and lust when you cum around his cock. "Shit baby. So fucking beautiful." He slows his hips, wanting to give you one more orgasm before he cums. He pulls out of you, making you whine, but he shifts to sit down on the sofa. "Ride my cock baby." He orders, reaching for you.

Your limbs feel like spaghetti as you climb onto his lap. Slightly self conscious of your changed body as he holds his cock for you to sink down on. Nothing is the way that it was before and you try not to look down as you line yourself up and start taking him inch by inch again. Moaning quietly when you feel him throbbing within your walls again. 

He reaches up to cup your cheek, making you look at him, and he can see the insecurity in your eyes. "Hey. Hey. Look at me. Baby, you are fucking perfect. One hand slides down to caress your stomach. "This body gave me a beautiful baby girl. I will forever be fucking grateful to this body for blessing me like that. You are incredible and I - I am so sorry I fucked up." He chokes, tears stinging his eyes.

You can’t say anything, choked up as well. Lunging forward and pressing your lips to his desperately, trying to tell him that you feel the exact same way. You should have calmed down sooner, tried something else rather than just kicking him out of your life for nearly two months. “I- I love you.” You murmur quietly.  

"I love you too." He whispers against your lips, his hands caressing your back as he holds you close, not ready to cum yet. He wants to have this for a little while longer in case you change your mind and kick him out after the haze of lust has lifted.

Your pace is slower, rolling your hips and making sure that you kiss every inch of skin from his lips to his shoulders. Sighing softly and murmuring small ‘I love yous’ into his skin. Wanting to make sure that he knows that you do love him, that was never a question. You want to make sure that he doesn’t doubt it, ever. 

Frankie just clings to you, letting you ride his cock and he feels like he’s finally home. After all the violence and surviving the past two weeks, he finally feels safe with you. Your murmured “I love yous” seem to seep into his skin and make his blood race through his body, warming him up. “I love you too. So goddamn much.” He chokes, shifting so he can press his lips to yours and he thrusts up into you.

“Good.” You whimper and turn your lips so you can kiss him again. “Want to feel you cum.” You beg, needing to feel him fill you up again.

“No. No. Want you to cum first.” He shifts to reach between you, quickly finding your clit so he can rub circles on the bundle of nerves. He wants you to cum again for him before he fills you up.

You can never call Frankie a selfish lover. Whining when he starts to rub your clit, you bounce on his cock a little faster. “God baby, it’s so good.” You praise breathlessly. “You feel so good inside me. Made for me.”

He wants you to cum again, continuing to rub your clit, needing you to soak his cock again. “Come on baby. You can do it. Cum for me. Cum for me.” He pleads, thrusting up into you as he continues to rub your clit.

“Yes, yes, yes!” You lean back, keeping yourself from falling off his lap by your arms around his neck. “Frankie!” You sob, gripping him tight while another orgasm rips through your body and you cum all over him again.

He chokes at how tight you grip him, his hand leaving your clit to pull you close. He presses his lips to yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth, and he groans, thrusting up into you. It squelches from how fucking wet you are and he loves it. “Shit.” He hisses into your mouth, “gonna cum.”

Your fingers find their way into his hair and you tug on it, making him hiss again right as he starts to thrust harder, the tipping point for his own orgasm. “Cum baby.” You beg desperately, needing to feel it. “Fill me up.”

He pants, thrusting up so he is buried deep as he groans your name, filling you up with his hot seed while he buries his face in your neck. “Shit baby. Shit.” He grunts, his cock twitching as he cums.

You sigh, closing your eyes and leaning your cheek against his heat when you feel the hot rush of his cum filling you up. Making you hold onto him just a bit tighter and send up a silent prayer to the heavens that he had made it home safely. “I love you.” You whisper, smiling to yourself as the baby starts to cry. The monitor crackling to life with Mia’s unhappy howl. “No rest for the wicked.” You tease, pulling back to press your lips to his again.

Frankie grunts when you lift up off of his cock, unable to stop himself from groaning at the sight of his cum dripping into his pubic hair. Something he hasn't seen for a while - he hasn't had the desire to jerk off often without you. He watches you as you make your way into your bedroom to get Mia and he sighs, standing up to clean up in the kitchen before he pulls his boxers and jeans on. "Is she okay?" He asks when you come into the living room with the baby at your breast.

“She’s okay.” You promise, walking over to where he is standing to show you his daughter as she greedily gulps down mouthfuls of your milk. “She’s hungry and probably got woken up by us.” You smirk at him before you look back down. “Look Mia, daddy’s home.” You coo softly, watching her eyes flutter and then focus on Frankie as he leans in. 

He presses a soft kiss to her forehead, closing his eyes as he breathes her in, just grateful he’s alive and here to see his family. Tom was not so fortunate. “Am I home?” He asks softly, hesitant and wary. He doesn’t want to assume you’re letting him come home.

You smile at him and reach out with your free hand to take his. “You’re home, Francisco.” You assure him softly. “Why don’t we go snuggle in the bed together as a family while she finishes eating?” You suggest, wanting to let him bond with his daughter. It’s been a long road to get to this point, but you don’t want him to miss another second. 

He nods, letting you guide him to the bedroom and he settles against the headboard in the middle while you carefully shuffle over with Mia in your arms, settling between his legs so you can lean back against his chest. He kisses your forehead before looking down at Mia. “You are incredible. She’s incredible. I promise…I promise you I won’t fuck up again. I’m gonna work on getting my license back and keeping sober. I’ll do it for my girls. I'd do anything for you and our baby.” He vows, resting his head on yours.

“I know you would, Frankie.” You whisper softly, looking down at your daughter that has been created in love and born in adversity. Hopefully she would know nothing but the love of both parents as you work to give her the best life. “I am just glad you are willing to give up that for us.” 

“It was ridiculous to even think it could come close to you. This op…it’s taught me more about myself than any other. I swear I’m gonna make it up to you and give you and Mia the best life I can. I love you. So much.” He chokes, nuzzling his nose into your neck as he reaches out to gently caress Mia’s head. He knows what is important now and it’s not some stupid drug or an op or money, it’s his family.

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[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 39 Part 2: Baby Pharaoh

My memory is something like tossed coleslaw at the moment with my on-and-off again long covid fatigue, but I’m pretty sure last we left off, Yugi and co were looking for Pharaoh, who as I’ve mentioned several times now, has fallen down a hole and can’t get up.

Alongside the Nile they have stumbled into Mana (man I hope that’s her name, it’s been so long since I’ve done a regular update, if her name is like Arkansas or whatever, I will not know, that’s just where we are. Bro who fact checks and spell check’s this blog was like “I dunno, sounds right? I’m not looking it up.”)

Whatever her name is, Mana is living her best life on this background that is askew just enough to cause me pain.

That horizon is killing me. I don’t recall exactly, but I’m pretty sure the bg was not supposed to be at an angle. Ugh, suffering.

(read more under the cut, assuming that tumblr still uses cuts? Pretty sure it auto-shortens my posts but I’ll still put cuts in for legacy users)

Anyway, this girl is a card as well as a magical person, so unlike all the other NPCs in Egypt, she gets the opportunity to set her eyes on 20th century people and be like “wtf are you assholes wearing?”

Rather than convince Mana that Yugi is the Pharaoh and see where this plot line goes, Joey says, “Isn’t that Pharaohs’ royal purple cloak like right over there? This cloak that probably costs in today’s money like 5 billion dollars because he’s a literal Pharaoh and wears an entire dowry on his ear lobes?” and Mana is like--”Oh shoot. Weird I did not notice that when I was so fixated on the fish.”

And so Mana has decided to join Yugi and Co because she is very much just here for the ride and also any information on how to run into her kind of sort of whatever the hell relationship is between her and Pharaoh. This makes sense to me, honestly, this was how I navigated all of college. You end up at a lot of weird parties doing this, but you’d be surprised how many people will ask you to just join their crew if you happen to be walking the same direction and know one person in common.

Bro came up with that pun and he’s extremely proud of it.

Again, rip the horse from last episode, at some point an alligator must’ve gotten to him (or the fall made him explode into little pieces, don’t worry about it). But we find Pharaoh in this cave, just out of sight of anyone who would actually be able to spot him.

Perhaps he’s doing this to stay out of the heat, but it’s also very likely that he’s just very embarrassed for that huge L he took falling down that hole and would like to just vibe out in a cave for a bit and contemplate his earliest memories.

To go from the man who remembers nothing to remembering yourself as a baby who gets his ass wiped 7 times a day.

Memory is freakin wild to Pharaoh.

I know this is a lot of caps of Pharaoh as a baby but that is a WEIRD ASS BABY. Also kinda cute but the baby is WEIRD.

Peak Renesmee energy, this old ass child.

Covered in tears, a preteen Yami is dragged to a tomb somewhere in Egypt, as if to scope out his future abode that he absolutely will not be buried in because he does, in fact, get smooshed into a puzzle.

And seeing a wonderful opportunity he immediately topples into it.

name a more iconic duo than Yugioh and ledges.

After walking down this long pit, we come to take part in some sort of Ancient Egyptian gods ceremony. Which is fascinating, because it’s not too, too often in this show that we reference the Egyptian gods outside of what is in the cards that Marik plays. But these are like the literal gods, not the fancy cards.

I have no idea if this is referencing an actual ceremony we know about or an actual mural that we have in some tomb in Egypt in real life. but I’m gonna guess this is probably not 100% historically accurate.

I have since been informed it is Kul Elna and not Kel Elna but I am not bothered enough to fix the cap.

Or this one.

Death count according to my google doc is 7,805,847,571 by the way. Originally I thought there were 700 people in Kul Elna. But thousands infer at least 1300 more so lets add another 2K just to round it off.

Says a lot when I’m like “eh give or take 700 deaths it makes like no difference to the number.”

A nice shot for anyone that wants to do an anime panel redraw for that meme (do people still do that meme? I have avoided art twitter rather successfully lately so I’m blessed to no longer have to draw memes. Unfortunately I’m still on webcomic twitter but that’s just a place where people get viral by complaining, so I don’t have to draw nearly as much promotional material. It kinda rocks.)

I really should not have laughed while watching this part of the episode but that realization that Pharaoh was trapped in a necklace anyway, and then this immediately following it was quite a funny jump cut.

And then he was gone.

so like.........

.......no backstory on Hassad, I guess? He’s just a guy who is wearing/is literally a millennium item and is currently depicted in a tablet?

I don’t even know where that backstory would go, it would have to be between Dartz and when the millennium items were forged out of the millennium stone. Or maybe he’s just a card? I dunno. But that guy jumped out of no where, just a brand new millennium item and now he’s gone.

My brother cannot tell the difference between Tahoma and Papyrus so hopefully it’s clear that Tea talks in Tahoma and Mana in Papyrus fonts. Unfortunately, they...have the same font color because I never initially thought they’d be on the same screen.

At this point, they run into Pharaoh, and Mana pretended like she knew that Pharaoh fell down a hole the whole time and that she didn’t spend half her day fishing.

Bro was like “Can you imagine trying to explain America to Mana?” and it sure was food for thought.

So, that’s all for this episode, in the next we shall find out how many more holes we can throw all our characters down. Which honestly is just Writing 101 when you think about it. As in Writing 101 the class, not 101 holes. Sorry I have a hard time reading and writing with long covid, although I still like to do it, so if parts of this are like incomprehensible, I’ll fix it in post. Like that joke just now. No idea if it made sense but we’re going to print it because I want to move on to the next episode.

And as always, to read these in chrono order from the very beginning when I had more than 3 operating brain cells, you can use this link here:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[rocketsagan-blog]

Review of "American Prometheus" - Pros and Cons

Or - when one reads a very, very long biography, one feels compelled to say a little something in some kind of format.

Okay, yeah, book wins a Pulitzer, movie "Oppenheimer" is good, things are kinda controversial and complicated on the surface, lotta historical stuff underneath the surface, why not read the book!?

Why not to read the book (it's not a lot, but it is worth mentioning for those who feel passionately about some of these things):

She long - my ebook was 1100+ pages in font big enough for my stupid eyes.

She depressing - if you've struggled with anxiety or depression, there is going to be a lot to relate to, but it is also going to be - at times - a lot. I found it to feel more like "hey look, other people have felt like this" but it also felt like "well shit, it all keeps happening, everything sucks, ahhhhh" just a little bit.

The ending is, of course, basically right now, our time, and now is depressing. We live in a world still filled with nuclear weapons. It is going to be hard to compartmentalize - we still have this problem, and it will probably never go away. Crap.

But ALSO reasons to read the book (which yeah, gonna put my thumb on the scale, I think it's worth it to read the book):

If you have already seen the movie Oppenheimer, you are already starting out with a visual language for a HUGE cast of characters. I have read similar books before in nonfiction with large casts, and it can be hard to keep things straight. The movie does a pretty good job pinning down the key characteristics of the main players, and while reading, I could easily call up what I remembered from the movie and navigate around.

The movie is pretty darn accurate, which makes reading the book a joy to order what is going on when in that light. Some events are kind of 'smooshed' together in the movie, and some events do vary from other people's perspectives, but it is not wholly comically off the mark, so pairing the movie and book works well, but the book of course goes beyond, and looks deeply at a lot of the people and events.

The book DOES discuss the after effects of what happened in Japan, and what Oppenheimer did and did not know at the time, and better describes his reaction. He is a tricky guy to understand at times, but this book does wrestle with what the bomb means, and what that meant to Oppenheimer and others as time went on. Based on his words, Oppenheimer had what we would call 'guilt' but it was guilt in action - he really tried to do something about how he felt, though he wouldn't call what he felt 'guilt' - it's complicated. Obvi, the book is LOADED with citations, so if one were to read the book and feel victims didn't get enough time, my god, there is a lot more to read, the book comes with a very long reading list for those who are interested - and of course, please, think of those who have been impacted, it is a lot.

I think The 'Trial' makes more sense in the book to an extent than it did in the film. I got the gist in the movie, but the book really explains who is in that room, why, and their histories leading up to that moment. If you like straight-forward courtroom drama, this is it baby.

THE QUOTES GET SO FUCKING FUNNY AT TIMES. If you like people watching, if you like complicated people being a little much just a little bit, and people being catty, oh my gosh, this book is full of it at times.

Like, I cannot reiterate enough how often private moments were captured in Oppenheimer's circle because fuckin' EVERYONE WAS WIRETAPPED at some point! That sucks, like, bad, don't illegally wiretap people, don't do that, but in the aftermath and a few Freedom of Information Act requests, there's so many weird little moments that have been captured, and it's just people being people and fascinating to read.

Dr. Jean Tatlock sounds so cool and I would have been her best friend. This is the only thing I'll just fangirl over, she genuinely sounded like a lovely person, and I want to emphasize that she was a doctor, and cool, and she gets her own part of the book, which is great.

The authors really did spend years and years pulling together source material, while respecting that memories vary from person to person - it is nice to see that different perspectives are respected.

And there's obviously a lot more that can be said, but I promised myself I'd keep it at least somewhat contained? But yeah. For those whose ticks or whatever lead to wanting to read That Big Book, go for it, it is fascinating, post your review too. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

[peachiemallows]

🎬📺 Share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order 🎮🃏 Then send this to 10 people (anon or not, your choice)

WAAAAAAAA ILYSM BABY

This was real hard, but it was really fun to do, thank you wifey!

Go check out my wifey's blog go go go do it right now she is literally so amazing and funny and she reblogs all the best stuff <3

(Ilysm wifey kiss kiss lemme smooch)

Okay okay okay so here's my list.

AhEm-

Dick Grayson / Nightwing

(DC)

(my beloved menace smhsmh pretty boy)

I personally don't like the Titans show too much because it's... I don't know, I just don't vibe with it and I can't see shit in the darkness, ever. :(

Dickie in the comics is just... so pretty. Such a good boi. A sweet man. I want to smash him but I also kinda want to be like him.

Tenko Shimura

(My Hero Academia)

Literally I want to just give him a kiss :(

Like. His backstory just reminds me of myself;; I wish I could comfort him and give him chapstick.

(gif credit to GlitchHopp on DeviantArt)

Lucifer

(Sandman)

Literally I want them to step on me so bad it's fucking insane-

In all seriousness though, I love Gwendoline's portrayal of Lucifer and the vibes they give off. I really wanna see more of them someday.

Ghost / The Knight

(Hollow Knight)

look at my tiny child. look at them. i would hug them but that would probably squish n smoosh them ;(

Fire Emblem / Nathan Seymour

(Tiger and Bunny)

"They say a man is made of courage, and a woman is made of love. So what does that mean for people who are both? We are invincible!"

Just for that quote, they're going on this list.

I love them. I want to be like them so bad. They're my hero and there should be more characters like him honestly :')

Sam Wilson / Captain America

(Marvel)

My Captain! :D

One of the best written characters in the MCU. FatWS was the best Marvel show, really. It made me think, a lot.

Sam is my favorite Marvel character just for being himself, I love him so much. So much, no matter in the simp way or not.

Nacho Varga

(Better Call Saul)

Look at the precious boy :(

He deserved so much better. Like, shit, man. Everything went so wrong so fast, I barely processed it at first when The Thing happened ;;;;

Anyway watch Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, I promise they're good. The writing is amazing and all the subtle hints and references and foreshadowing is just.. Genius. Every little detail has a meaning and it's so good.

Adrian "Alucard" Tepes

(Castlevania)

Look at the precious boy. Look at him. He deserved better. :(

I can kind of relate to him, ever so slightly. He's just... So sad, and often so lonely. I wish I could hold him.

(also sis drop that hair care routine holy shit)

Michael

(The Good Place)

I literally love him so much (not in the simp way). I still need to finish The Good Place, but God. I love everything about Michael. The way he's written, the way his character grows, his portrayal, everything.

I want him to be my dad.

Kimiko Miyashiro

(The Boys)

Listen I am just a useless pansexual okay. I don't ever have like a coherent comment. Look at her. Look at her smile. I want to kiss her so bad. I am but a useless gay. I am but a simp. Please. God I have such a crush on her.

Honorary mentions

Yuri Petrov (Tiger and Bunny)

Abner Krill / Polka-Dot Man (DC)

Desire (Sandman)

Wanda Maximoff (Marvel)

Joe (Sk8 the Infinity)

Ollie Ramses (Dislyte)

Gustavo Fring (Breaking Bad)

[kubrik-was-a-c-nt]

EVIL DEAD RISE IS ON MAX

FUCK YEH LETS DO THIS

Nice fake-out with the drone, I think this is the first time the demon movement was paired with the movement of a real object.

Why the fuck did these guys rent the burning building from Midsommar? Or the cult church in Mandy? Perfectly triangular buildings are super sus now.

Ooooh we got ourselves an OG cabin clock.

Are they just jumping right into it? No build up? Just deadites from the start? I guess I would take anything over stupid family drama.

Uh.... well, that just happened. A scalping 5 minutes in.

I guess this isnt the first time there was a cold open featuring a possession and a bunch of gore. I guess my face blindness made it so I didnt realize that none of the actors I saw were in the trailers.

Okay, we got a rocker chick who I mistook for Mia for a sec who I guess is pregnant? Interesting so far.

How old is this lady that he has several kids? She doesnt look that much older than her older daughter.

"Hey Bridget, Moms on nights so we're watching all the Freddy movies in a row."

"Even the shitty ones."

"There arent any shitty ones."

Excuse me, did we watch the same Dream Master? Dream Child? Freddy's Dead? I love Freddy but he has as many bad movies as he does good.

I like this strange small child with her baby head battering ram.

Oooh, is mom using overtone on her hair? Her hair looks like mine when I used to dye it. When I could afford to dye it. (I got a better paying job so I can start to do that again!!!)

So Beth is forever young mom's sister, interesting.

Staffanie is fucking awesome.

Oooof... Ellie, did you send a text or an email? Two calls and a voice mail are easily forgotten when someone is super busy on the road.

Also, Beth, listen to your sisters voicemail when she leaves one. Call without voicemail is a chat, call with voicemail is important.

Wait, what was this bank built on top of? Or did Mia deposit the Necronomicon into a bank vault to keep it safe?

Are people in movies just not scared of the dark? Of bugs? Of-

JESUS CHRIST JESUS CHRIST

DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING THAT WAS STASHED IN A GRAVE. ITS CURSED AF. I DONT EVEN BELIEVE IN CURSES OR GHOSTS AND EVEN I WOULDNT TOUCH IT. AND NOT EVEN BECAUSE ITS DIRTY AS HELL.

That pizza was still good to eat, just a little smooshed.

"Weird shit like this gets locked away for a reason." Bridget is smart. Bridget should throw that book out the window right now.

The Necronomicon, now featuring a tooth/claw lock with a blood release. Not seen that before.

ONE OF THREE. THREE.

Is this actor on the vinyl trying to imitate Dr Knowby from Evil Dead 2? Like obviously hes not the same guy but the way hes talking.

Oh no, haunted turntable. You see, that's why CDs and MP3s are the superior formats.

NOPE NOPE NO ELEVATOR HORROR FOR ME. PLEASE NO IM STILL WORKING THROUGH MY PHOBIA.

Well great, you just had to take the book and vinyls and now your mom is haunted.

No tree roots available? Ropes and cables will make a good substitute! Cant do an evil dead movie without a little bondage.

Eeew, how many fertilized eggs did you get in your dozen? Where did you get them?

Sorry kids, your mom is a tweaker now.

You think the elevator is going to work in a blackout?

Um... I would be worried if a 'dead bodys' eyes reopened. I know there can be post-mortem spasms but the eyes perfectly reopening and nothing else moving is very strange-

FUCK I SCARED MYSELF. I have my tablet next to me and I saw movement in the screen reflection and I almost jumped out of my skin. It was my hand moving to set down my glass of water.

Hm... this feels like a new ploy for the deaddites. Play dead for a while and then reanimate in the creepiest way possible? I like it.

This is when you jump down the broken stairs and run for your lives. Hell, most elevators have little ladders in the shafts to climb up and down. Fuck it, take the cable and rappel down, just get the fuck away from the possessed tweaker with a glass shard.

Do not kiss a freshly made tattoo. That is very unsanitary.

Wasnt an eye popping out and going into someones mouth in Evil Dead 2? Like, wasnt it Henrietta and Bobby Joe?

El is doing a poor impression of Annie from Hereditary. You need to smash your face against the door way faster than that.

Sorry neighbors, but its every man for themselves now. Not even a gun can save you now.

Yeah Danny, you see cursed shit, you leave it ALONE. I love antiques and mysterious vinyls as much as the next antique enthusiast, but that book was CLEARLY fucked up.

Little girl whose name I forget, grab Staffanie, you're gonna need her.

Oh no, Bridget's face is haunted. We gotta cut it off. Should we do it Mason Verger or Nick Cage style?

It might be easier to convince your daughter to leave the apartment if you move the dead armless boy from view.

Oh Kassie... I cant be too mad. At your age I would have done the same thing. I remember getting scared when I saw my mom walk into a wall and faceplate on the ground. I would have done anything in that moment to believe she was okay (she was, she was super sleepy when she hit the wall and the fall dazed her. She only had a few bruises after)

Bridget, you are not Phoenix Wright! You cannot eat glass and not expect serious internal injuries! And you are not Rohan Kumakura, so put that cheese grater down!

Oh no Bridget... I'm so sorry they couldnt save you before you got impaled. And I'm sorry Kassie that you had to do that to your sister. This being a family and not a group of mostly unrelated friends is making this a lot harder.

Danny with the good ideas now. Where were your good ideas when you climbed into the bank vault?

Chekhov's soldering iron coming in clutch.

IF YOU KNEW THAT THE WORDS WERE CURSED, WHY DIDNT YOU DESTROY THE VINYL THAT HAD THEN RECORDED??? YOU CAN'T DESTROY THE NECRONOMICON BUT YOU CAN DESTROY YOUR RECORDING OF THE WORDS.

The mom is too big to fit inside the vents... is the armless kid in there wiggling around?

IF YOU ARE TYING UP A CORPSE YOU THINK IS GOING TO RISE AGAIN, TIE THEM UP SUPER TIGHT!!! Also Beth, keep one ear open in case the kids need you.

Oh, I guess mom is thin enough to fit in the vents.

Is the mom making a Lilo and Stitch reference? Putting her nail in the vinyl and making the noise come out her mouth?

They are killing a lot of kids in this movie. Barring any deaths from the TV Show, which I abandoned after a while, I don't think they've killed kids before. I'm assuming Bridget is under 18.

I guess this Book works differently than the one in the last movie. 6 kills and no rain of blood yet.

DEAD BY DAWN. DEAD DAWN. DEAD BY DAWN

Kids... what are you doing to your mom? Why are you putting your hands in there?

So this is what the elevators in the Overlook Hotel look like from the inside. And of course this built up to a clear Shining reference.

It didnt rain blood, it flooded blood.

Oooh! Theres a truck with a wood chipper attached to it in the garage! The deaddites can't possess a body that's a pile of mush!

I'm going to see that thing in my nightmares. Holy fuck, what were the designers got this movie thinking when they made this monstrosity? Like, I'm legit scared to look at it right now. I'm trying to not look directly at the screen but I also don't want to miss anything.

Kassie will not become your Saffanie! You don't need one!

You must choose your destiny, the chainsaw, or the boomstick?

You know, I was criticizing Beth for wearing her shoes inside the apartment, but they helped keep the chipper from hurting her.

I can't even begin to imagine all the therapy that Kassie is going to need once this is all done. She will never be able to be around wood chippers again. Or chainsaws. Or elevators. Or look through a peep hole.

That garage MUST smell awful. Theres blood EVERYWHERE. Before I was on birth control I had super heavy periods and the bathroom would reek of blood during my heavy days. That's a tiny drop compared to the ocean of blood in that garage. How did that lady not IMMEDIATELY smell it? (Unless shes like my old boss and lost her sense of smell)

I see... the cold open is a result of these events. The Mandy Midsommar temple cottage wasn't demonic, just the girl who can't smell.

LEE CRONIN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. YOU TOOK AN ALREADY PANTS SHITTINGLY SCARY REMAKE AND MAKE IT SHIT PANTS HARDER

Good job

[squirrel-the-adhd-mom]

Chapter five- Ugh Colorado

9/30/2022

I am up early this morning. I was worried about my little boob buddy. Last night I set up a little bed with a heating pad underneath it so I wouldn’t accidentally smoosh it in my sleep. Little thing made it through the night and is now safely back in my bra to begin the day. Time to try and get Tommi to feed it. She gets a little mad at me but ultimately she lets it happen. I am happy this little thing is doing alright.

Usually I don’t want to get up. When I am up willingly before my alarm it’s a good sign. Maybe some motivation this morning instead of the typical get me away from this house feeling. We will see how the rest of the morning presents it’s self.

Rest of the morning went well not the greatest but I could’ve been worse. Right? Theo wasn’t wanting to do much of anything on anyone else’s terms but his own. Spit in his sisters face because she was doing something he didn’t like. His excuse was he was just “talking.” I was going to flick him in the tongue but after constant crying and getting his coffee stop taken away I think the fear of the flicking did the job. So the day went on. Sometimes with our brains like I’ve mentioned we beat out selves up more than anyone else possibly could. So the hysterics proved that he knew he messed up.

I think it’s time I start learning a little Spanish. Why? Well because 98% of the time I pull up onto a location there is an entire crew of Mexicans and not one speaks a lick of English. Or maybe the pretend not to… I really have no idea. So if I learn just enough Spanish to understand them a little and to say “I have a load of trusses or floors for you, where do you want them?” Maybe just maybe the won’t look at me like the crazy white girl that just pulled in in an 18 wheeler. Although the still might. Who knows. I don’t. Regardless they are usually very nice and try to understand me and that what counts. So maybe I should do my part. As if my brain doesn’t have enough shit going through it already let’s add learning another language.

Three loads in Colorado today. Insert eye roll here. The people in Colorado treat us semi drivers like we are a dead bird in the road. My brain: “Excuse me sir but if I was an ass hole I could just run you over.” Not to mention their stupidly small streets and ROUND ABOUTS. Man, fuck round abouts. When did people forget how to do a four way stop? Insert another eye roll. I might’ve taken out a street sign today I am not sure, oops.

Theo, we’ll get had a rough day at school. Change is hard for him and he had a substitute the last two days. He had to be taken to a different classroom to do his work because he was not being the greatest for the sub. He also proceeded to assist in breaking his best friends, little brothers tablet by throwing it and then running it over with their bikes. This is the impulsive side of ADHD that I’ve touched on. At the moment it’s fun, funny or exciting, but we do not take into account the consequences that are going to follow. What’s done is done but a lesson to be learned.

The booby baby is still holding strong. I have faith in this little thing. I have named it. Even though I won’t know the sex for a while (I hope it’s a boy) it’s name is Meatloaf. Another legend in the world of hair bands. It’s late I’m exhausted and I need to have motivation to clean tomorrow wish me luck. Peace out Girl Scout! Boy Scout! Whatever. Goodnight.

[chocolatecakecas]

To Infinity and Beyond: baby!Jack truthing Birthday Ficlet

Today already looked like the perfect day. Warm weather, the sun shining, the birds singing, all the usual qualifications for "perfection". And if Dean had anything to say about it, it is also going to be, the perfect day.

Because Dean had planned out everything. Tents and tables spread out in the backyard of their new house, enough hamburgers and hotdogs to feed an army, a giant sheet cake in the freezer, and it looked like a Party City catalogue threw up all over their house, both inside and out. Hell, he and Cas even got a bounce house.

Yup, today was going to be perfect, Dean thought as he surveyed the backyard. He was going to make sure of it, nothing was going to go wro-

"To infinity and beyond!"

And the next thing he knew, he had a recently turned four year old, barreling into his legs almost knocking him off the porch.

(read the rest under the cut)

He looked down to see Jack already dressed in his outfit for the day. A shirt with Buzz Lightyear's costume printed on it, complete with little cardboard Buzz wings (Cas made them), purple shorts with a purple tutu, and of course, his favorite Buzz light-up sneakers.

"I'd say that was a bit of a crash landing there, Mr.Lightyear" Dean laughed, as he bent down to right Jack's scribbled cardboard wings. Jack just ignored his reference, instead letting out an excited shriek as he took in the backyard.

Every tablecloth, plate, napkin, cup, balloon, and cardboard decoration was covered in Toy Story characters.

Toy Story, was the end all be all in their house, because they were Jack's favorite movies. So everything, was 100% Toy Story, 100% of the time, hence the party theme. And his favorite character was Buzz Lightyear, hence the costume.

"Dee where's your costume?" Jack questioned, after he finally recovered from the shock of seeing the, probably, overdecorated backyard.

"Yeah Sheriff Woody, where's your costume? It's almost one thirty" Cas called as he stepped out the backdoor. Cas was already dressed in t-shirt with Jessie's outfit printed on the front, her matching red hat, jeans and of course, cowboy boots which Dea-wait shit they only had a half an hour left.

And he hadn't even double checked th-

"The backyard and inside of the house already look incredible. Go on and get ready before everyone starts arriving" Cas smiled sweetly, knowing how worried Dean was about today.

"I will, after I chec-"

"Dean, I promise, I'll double check all the decorations, and the food. Me and the little space ranger have got it covered, right baby?" Cas supplied, looking fondly over at Jack.

"Yeah me and Da got it! Get dressed Dee" Jack cheered, as hopped down the steps and raced "flew" across the grass cardboard wings flapping behind him.

"Go get changed, cowboy. Everything already looks perfect" Cas teased, pressing a quick peck to Dean's lips. And then he was bounding down the steps towards Jack, warning him not to go near the bounce house.

So Dean reluctantly walked inside, forcing himself to ignore all of the things he wanted to check on, and instead making a beeline for their bedroom. He quickly pulled on his costume, but unlike Jack and Cas it was the real deal, not just a graphic t-shirt, Dean had the actual shirt, the vest, whole nine yards. Jack had asked if Dean would wear a real Woody costume and, hey who was he to deny his kid on his birthday?

So with a sigh, Dean made his way back to the living room so he could reorganize the snack table.

He wanted everything to be perfect today. Perfect for Jack because, this was his first real birthday party after all. And because Dean's oldest memory was of his fourth birthday, his last birthday party actually since it wasn't like they were throwing big family bashes on the road. No, birthdays were a box of cigarettes from his Dad (if he even remembered), or Dean sometimes scraping together enough money to get a cake for Sam's birthday.

Which is why today had to go smoothly. Because Jack deserved the world, he deserved to have a good life filled with memories of big family parties with fun decorations and food and laughter. And Dean could give it to him now, give him what he and Sam never had. So today had to be special, it had-needed to be perfect.

"Dean, I don't think Jack is going to care if the clouds are a little crooked" Cas pointed out, amusement dancing in his voice as he walked into the living room.

Dean huffed a laugh, but didn't stop his mission to straighten out the paper "Andy's Room" clouds taped to the wall above the table. Cas just sighed as he gently pulled his hand away from the wall, turning Dean towards him.

"Dean I know how much you want to make this day absolutely perfect for Jack, believe me I do too. But he's going to love every single second of it. He's practically bouncing off the walls already, and the party hasn't even started yet" Cas assured as he squeezed Dean's hands.

"I know, I know. But he deserves to have the best damn birthday. Especially after everything and he's just- Jack shoul-" Dean started, only to be cut off by the sound of the doorbell.

"It's Uncle Sammy and Aunt Eileen! Can I open the door, please?" Jack called from down the hall, asking for permission.

"Yeah buddy, you're allowed to open the door. Let them in" Dean shouted back, unable to help the smile pulling at his lips when he heard Jack enthusiastically telling them about "all the cool decorations".

"See? Jack is already loving it! Now relax, and enjoy the party, cowboy. Everything is going to be perfect" Cas smiled as he made his way down the hall to greet Sam and Eileen. But not before giving Dean's ass a little smack.

A few hours into the party everything was smooth sailing, and Dean had only been scolded for readjusting some decorations four times. The kids Jack invited from his class were having a great time, as where their parents, which was especially great because not a single one of them managed to see a member of Dean and Cas’ family discreetly place their weapons in the spare bedroom (Dean wasn’t a fool, it was a party full of hunters, he wasn’t just gonna make a no weapons rule because what if something happened?). So then Dean and Eileen manned the grill like champs, Cas and Garth kept an eye on the kiddos in the bounce house, Sam had handled the Buzz Lightyear shaped piñata perfectly, while Dean organized the kids, making sure Jack was the one to break it. The sun stayed shining, the birds kept singing. Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn't.

And it was all Dean’s fault.

Dean's stomach dropped as he stared down at the now smudged faces of Woody, Buzz and half of the green aliens. Because Dean just smooshed the entire left side of the cake while trying to take lid off.

He just destroyed the most important part of the party, the part Jack was most excited about. Now Dean just ruined everythi-

"-come in star command, do you read me?" Cas joked, completely startling Dean, because how long had Cas been standing there?

"Dean, what's wro-oh" Cas sighed as soon as he caught sight of the cake. 

"I friggin smooshed the whole thing with the lid. It's destroyed we can't-the party and Jack and-" Dean rambled, heart pounding against his chest, while Cas took the life from his hands and gently set it on the other side of the counter.

"Dean, stop it's okay breathe for me. It's just the cake. It's not your fault. It's still edible, we can fix this" Cas soothed as softly cupped Dean's cheeks in an attempt to ground him.

"Hey are you guys alri-oh shit" Eileen gasped as she and Sam walked through the kitchen door, which caused Dean’s heart rate to pick up again.

"It's okay, it'll be fine. We can try to scrape some of it back together with a knife" Sam offered, quickly moving Dean and Cas to the side so he could get at the cake.

But it only made the faces look completely unrecognizable.

"Damnit, what are we gonna-"

"Dee! Can we have cake now?" Jack asked as he came racing into the kitchen, and Dean, Cas, Sam and Eileen quickly huddled in front of the counter to hide the cake from sight.

"In a few minutes squish, we're still uh-getting it ready" Dean managed plastering a wide, hopefully convincing smile on his face.

"Why don't you go jump around the bounce house again, buddy?" Sam suggested, which had Jack nearly bolting out of the kitchen again with a nod

"Make sure one of your aunts or uncles, or your friends' parents are watching you!" Cas called after him, which only got a tiny "okay Da" in response.

They all let out a breath when they heard the backdoor slam, and quickly turned to look at the offending cake again.

"It's not that late, what if one of us runs to store and see if they have ano-"

"They won't, we ordered this specia-"

"And there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere" Claire joked as she entered the kitchen and quickly surveyed the mess before her, eyes widening when she spotted the cake. And Dean normally would have teased her the reference but he was too busy, freaking the fuck out, so he chose to ignore it.

"What do we do? We can't fix this, there's no time it's completely rui-"

"Wait, dude calm down. I have an idea, hold on a minute" Claire proclaimed, and swiftly exited the kitchen, which did pretty much nothing to calm Dean's panic. In fact he was getting desperate.

"Do you think Rowena might have a spell-"

"That's not how magic works. But honestly Dean, I'm sure Jack won't even notice-"

"The kid can recite the entirety of Toy Story 2 from memory and you don't think he's gonna notice Woody is missing his entire head?"

"Alright, start grabbing the Toy Story figures and wash them off. Then we can put them all over the cake instead, and cover up the horrifyingly smeared faces" Claire ordered as she came back into the kitchen with Kaia in tow, and box of Jack's toys in hand.

And Dean could have cried from relief (he did).

"Holy shit Claire you're a genius" Dean praised, as he quickly began sifting through the box.

"I know, I know. Now c'mon, I want cake"

And a few minutes later everyone was gathered around the dining room table, singing a completely off key rendition of Happy Birthday. Jack was seated in the center of it all, with a half smooshed, slightly lopsided, plastic figure covered cake, with Dean and Cas crouching on either side of him. Jack hadn't even commented on the completely smeared face of Woody or Ham, he was just clapping along, bouncing in his seat. In fact, he the biggest smile Dean had ever seen on his face, and he teared up at the sight.

"Blow out the candles and make a wish, baby" Cas encouraged, and Jack attempted to do just that. Only succeeding when Dean secretly helped blow out the candles for him.

"Yay! To infinity and beyond!" Jack shouted again, as he stood up and jumped on his chair. The room easily erupted into laughter, while Charlie and Jody each snapped pictures from across the table.

"Alright Lightyear, let's not fall with style into the already smooshed cake" Dean joked, as he quickly stabilized Jack, which only caused everyone to burst into more laughter.

So, Dean scooped up Jack, sitting in his chair and placing him on his lap, while Sam offered to cut up the cake. And Cas took plopped down in the chair next to them, sliding him and Jack a plate.

"Are you having fun at your birthday party, baby?" Cas questioned as he handed Jack a plastic fork.

"Yeah! Claire jumped in the house with me! And Danny and Sarah and me played in the sandbox! An-and we played tag, and Aunt Donna played too! And the cake has all my friends on it, see!" Jack rushed out all in one breath, stopping to point at the now sliced cake. By "friends" he of course meant his actual Toy Story figures of course. But before Dean could even react to any of that, Cas was whispering in Jack's ear, and pulling away.

"Thank you for all the party things, Dee!" Jack beamed as he turned and threw his arms around Dean's neck.

And Dean's heart clenched as he tightly wrapped his arms around his kid, feeling a tear roll down his cheek. He looked back up to see Cas smiling widely at them, so Dean whispered something in Jack's ear too. And then Jack was off flinging himself around Cas' neck.

"Why doesn't all the family get together, I can take the photos" Marissa, the mom of one of Jack's friends offered.

And soon the three of them were surrounded by their family on all sides. Everyone laughing when Marissa suggested they all say "yeehaw" instead of cheese. Jack giggling when Claire zoomed over, and bent down so she could smoosh their faces together for the obligatory "silly face" picture. Dean quickly swiping icing on both Cas and Jack's noses, causing Cas to tip Dean's cowboy hat and Jack to shove a handful of frosting on Dean's cheek.

So maybe it wasn't the flawless, smooth sailing birthday party Dean had planned. But the weather stayed warm, the sun still shone, the birds still sang. His family laughed, and ate and had a blast.

And Jack looked about as happy as they had ever seen him, as he ran around the yard with his friends and played games with his family. Dean would even go as far to count it as a complete success. Especially since Jack asked Cas, "when can we have a big party again?", as they tucked him into bed later that night.

So as far as Dean is concerned, it was the perfect day.

Tag list:

(please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed!!💛)

@wormstacheangel @smiledean @shelikestv @chaoticdean @midnightwings-deancas @jellydeans @sunshine-jack @archervale @wikiangela @organicpurplepants @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @writtendevastation @tkdwolf2012 @doemons-blog @sinnabonka @rolling-stoned-girl @skylerkernaghan @icefire149

@shadowywerewolfqueen @the-cookie-navy @thelahatiel @thefantasyfiend @castielle-deanna @aestheticflyer26 @multi-fandom-imagine @x-mypeopleskillsarerusty-x @wellofwoes @becky-srs @multi-fandom-dark-lord @perfectkoaladream @castiel-for-lunch @it--hurts--to--become @bowtiesandneckerchiefs

@dakiaty @feraldean @teamfreebees @keshetcas @hrh-princess-bea @martymar1963 @midnight-sparks-studio @slipper007 @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @winchester-novak @lyonessrampant @angelic-bee-enthusiast @nguyenxtrang @idiot-on-the-hill @ethicalbitch @fandoms-and-things @doreschary @confix @milfcodeddean @seraphcastiel @seraphlm

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Drabble#7)

Summary: You come back from Japan.

Pairing: Always You!Jungkook x female reader

Genre:, fluff!!

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: mentions of sex

Notes: Here is technically the first drabble I wrote but I am only now just posting hehe. it's just a lil something something. This isn’t the end of drabbles don’t worry! Remember requests for drabble ideas are open! Lets chat:)

Taglist: @seagulljk @fancycollectormoon @justinetingball

© taestefully-in-luv

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since she left and you still get this nervous every time you see her.” Jimin playfully jabs Jungkook.

“Like, didn’t you just see her two months ago?”

Jungkook stands here, in the middle of the airport, holding a rose. He breathes in and out, his unsteady breaths making Jimin giggle.

“Two months is a long time ago dude.” Jungkook pouts, he brings the rose to his nose and takes a sniff, hoping the aroma will calm him.

“And she’s here for good now…and you know why I am so fucking nervous dude.” Jungkook keeps staring ahead, watching as crowds of people walk through the busy airport. His heart is slightly pounding as he watches in anticipation…you should be walking through at any moment.

“I know, I know.” Jimin smiles, “She’s going to love it.”

The last few months you were home before you left for Japan, you and Jungkook decided to get a place together. The few months you got to live together were pure bliss. Jungkook and you lived happily and comfortably together again, except this time sharing a room. You two did everything together, letting the newness of the relationship swallow you down in the most wonderful way. Cooking together, sleeping together, sometimes even bathing together. BFF bubble baths? Yeah, that. But naked. Just everything.

Jungkook had visited you in japan 3 or 4 times. But in a whole year only seeing you 3 or 4 times felt like nothing. He found himself feeling lonely quite often in your empty apartment but having the guys around really helped. Jungkook is beyond excited and also nervous to see you. He always feels this way, the distance that Japan put between the both of you really took a toll on him but he always stayed strong.

“I think I see her!” Jimin’s giddy voice makes it to Jungkook’s ears, “Let’s go!” Jimin grabs on to Jungkook’s arm and starts dragging him towards the crowd of people.

“Okay, okay.” Jungkook picks up his pace, his eyes scanning for you but he doesn’t see you. Why doesn’t he see you?

“Right there, right there!” Jimin begins pointing in some general direction. And then he sees you. He sees your bright green cardigan first and then he sees your smile next. Jungkook starts jogging towards you as his smile grows so fucking wide on his face, his teeth proudly displayed.

“y/n!” he calls out, now running towards you.

You see Jungkook making his way towards you, this boy is not slowing down. You start to laugh as you start walking faster and faster towards him too.

“Jungkook!” you yell at, not caring how loud you’re being. You are seeing your boyfriend for the first time in a couple months and you are so fucking excited. Especially because there is no more goodbyes after this.

Jungkook finally reaches you and scoops you up in his strong arms, he holds on to you so fucking tightly that you struggle to breathe. You’re laughing so loudly and hugging him back. He spins you around in a couple circles, his excitement is clear to any bystanders. Jimin finally catches up to you both and you catch his eye. You smile excitedly towards him and he slumps his shoulders in pout.

“I wanna hug her too Kook.” Jimin playfully frowns.

Jungkook keeps squeezing you, his head in the crook of your neck as he inhales you. He mumbles something into your hair and neither you nor Jimin understand what he said.

“My turn, my turn.” Jimin continues to whine. You can’t help but continue to giggle when Jungkook lifts his head from you and spins you around until he’s facing Jimin.

“No. All mine.” He says matter of fact and you hit his back.

“You have to share me, baby.”

“I most certainly do not.” Jungkook says in a stern voice and you start chuckling.

“Okay, okay. You can put me down now.”

Jungkook sets you down gently but he doesn’t loosen his grip around you. He continues to hold you, his eyes finally meeting yours. You look up at him and he feels himself transforming into a god damn puddle.

“Why do you look so beautiful, hm?” Jungkook leans in closer to you, “Why does my girl look so fucking beautiful?”

“Jungkook” you lean up until your lips barely touch his, “I missed you.” You whisper against his lips. Jungkook smiles and nods his head, he leans down to catch you in a sweet kiss.

Finally, he has you here. For good.

“Need I remind you, I am still here? And waiting for my hug and kiss too.” Jimin winks and you laugh into Jungkook’s kiss.

You finally pull away from Jungkook and he pouts dramatically, he does not want to let go of you ever again. You walk towards Jimin and embrace him fully, his arms go to wrap themselves around you with all his love. You guys sway your bodies back in forth in a tight hug, and you playfully kiss his cheek, making him burst out into giggles.

“Okay, back to me.” Jungkook softly whispers with doe eyes. “Back to me, back to me.” He repeats over and over, holding out his rose for you.

You finally notice the red flower and you start to turn a nice shade of pink as your blush deepens.

“For me?”

“No it’s for me.” Jimin deadpans, “Can you just take his flower already.”

You take a few steps until you’re in front of Jungkook and you reach out for the rose, your fingers brushing against his and even after all this time you feel butterflies fly in swarms in your stomach.

“This is so sweet, Jungkook.” You go in to hug him again and he gratefully embraces you back.

“Red roses symbolize love…” he says shyly, “So I thought it was appropriate.” He pulls back slightly, “I was going to give you a dozen…but I thought taking care of one is work enough already.” He chuckles, scratching the back of his neck.

“We couldn’t even take care of that Venus fly trap.” You remind him with a pointed smile, “So, smart move on your part.”

“Well, guys.” Jimin doesn’t mean to interrupt. “We should get going. Everyone’s probably wondering where we’re at.”

“What do you mean?” you tilt your head, “Where are we going?”

“Surprise.” Jungkook says with a grin. “Let’s go.”

~~~~~~

“Oh my god you guys are crushing me.” You are in the middle of a fucking group hug. Who’s idea was this? For sure Taehyung’s. He, Hobi and Jin are absolutely crushing you as they hug you tightly. Namjoon and Yoongi stand off to the side just waiting patiently for a turn, bless them.

“Because we—” Taehyung begins, “Missed. You.”

“So. Much.” Hobi finishes for him.

“SO MUCH!” Jin yells, “Visiting you once in Japan was not enough.” Jin begins to pull back, Hobi follows his lead but Taehyung continues to smoosh his cheek into your head, squeezing you so tightly it makes you laugh out loud.

“Okay, I believe it is my turn.” You hear Yoongi say calmly. “You can let go now Taehyung.”

“NEVER!” Taehyung giggles, “But fine.”

Yoongi goes in for a rather quick hug, but holds on to your arms as he speaks.

“The record shop was not the same with out you.” He somewhat whispers. “I just had to hear about Tae’s girl problems the whole time.” He teases.

“And Jin was right,” you hear Namjoon walk closer to you, bringing you in for a tight hug. “Visiting once in Japan was not enough.”

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you guys in what? 6 months?”

“And girl, that is too damn long.” You hear her voice cut through and you bubble over with excitement.

“TRINA!” you practically jump in her arms, she laughs that loud ass laugh you love so much and you can’t help but smile.

“And Holly too!” you rush to Holly’s arms, she hugs you back and you feel like everyone is here and you feel so whole.

“Happy?” you hear Jungkook’s voice from beside you. “We thought we would surprise you with a little welcome back party…”

“I’m so happy.” You admit, “Thank you.” You reach for Jungkook’s hand and interlock your fingers with his. “As much as I can’t wait to hang out here with everyone,” you bring your voice down to a whisper. “I also can’t wait until I am home alone with you.”

Jungkook turns a bit red before he’s smirking, squeezing your hand. He leads you to Jin’s backyard where everyone is starting to end up.

“We don’t have to wait until home before you can be alone with me.” Jungkook whispers back, you can hear his teasing tone and it goes straight to your lady bits.

“Be careful.” You warn, “I might take you up on that.”

“God, y/n. I am hoping you do.” He stops at the doorway and pulls you into his body, he grinds he hips into yours and you feel his half hard length.

“What are you thinking about that’s got you so worked up?” you tease, your hands running down his chest.

“You.”

“What about me?”

“Your lips have been on my mind since we got here.”

“Want to kiss me baby?” you press yourself into his chest, tipping your head up.

“So fucking badly.” But before Jungkook can lean down and capture your lips he hears someone’s throat being obnoxiously cleared.

“You guys are so fucking gross. Can’t even check if you’re alone.” Jimin rolls his eyes, he continues walking towards you two with a cup in his hand.

“Why is it always me that you guys always end up making out in front of?” He whines, and you chuckle. Not feeling too embarrassed since it’s just Jimin.

“Sorry, sorry.” You step away from Jungkook and put your hands on your hips. “Where’s my drink, hm?”

“Here, take this one. Not strong enough for me anyway.” Jimin hands you his cup and you roll your eyes with a grin.

“What about me?” Jungkook pouts, “I want a drink too.”

“You’re both fucking babies.” Jimin says with a playful smile, “I’ll make your drink, but you gotta keep me company.”

“Deal.” Jungkook nods his head, “You can go ahead and hang with everyone else baby.”

“Oh, thanks for the permission.” You salute towards him and he waves you off.

You head outside to find everyone else with their own drinks in their hands, chatting away. You find Trina and Holly and go take a seat next to them.

“I have missed you guys so much.” You sip on your drink, “Japan was so cool but nothing beats being home again.”

“We missed you too.” Holly puts a hand on your knee, “We’re so glad you’re back.” She says as she brings her hand back to her body.

“Yeah bitch, never leave us again!” Trina jumps into the conversation, “You should of seen Jungkook, honey. He was so miserable without you.”

And then you’re frowning. You know going abroad was a really tough decision. Especially because you had just gotten into a relationship and just 5 months in you went long distance. Jungkook struggled a lot in the beginning while you were thriving in Japan when you had first arrived. He talked a big game, saying you guys could handle it, saying going a few months at a time without seeing one another wouldn’t be such a big deal but it was…he grew depressed without you.

You nod your head once you get out of your thoughts, you take another sip of your drink and then you hear Taehyung speak up as he walks to you girls.

“He wasn’t that bad guys.” Taehyung assures you. “Maybe in the beginning… but after his first visit with y/n he lit up light a spot light and he got stronger. Plus he had us.” He gestures towards everyone.

You look up at Taehyung and feel immensely grateful…for his words and because he’s right, Jungkook had all of them to lean on.

“So when are you going to do it?” Jimin gives Jungkook a knowing smile, “Here? Some fancy date?” he continues pouring a “couple” shots of Vodka in his cup.

“Why the hell would I do it here? I planned a whole date, of course. I want everything to be fucking perfect.”

“When’s the date?”

“Tomorrow.”

Jimin watches as Jungkook wipes his assumingly sweaty palms on his jeans and he can’t help but softly smile towards his friend.

“It’s going to be fine, Jungkook.” Jimin’s tender voice does little to calm Jungkook though.

“What if she says—”

“She’s going to say yes.” Jimin sets the bottle of vodka down, he swirls his mixed drink with a spoon, giving it a look before shoving it into Jungkook’s hands.

“You need this one more than me.” He laughs, “Listen, just relax.”

“I can’t relax, I want tomorrow to be here already. But I am so nervous. What if things don’t go smoothly at the restaurant? What if—”

“What if it all goes wrong? Really?” Jimin raises a single brow. “But what if it all goes right?” he pats Jungkook’s shoulder. “Just do it when the moment feels right?”

“How will I know when that moment is?” Jungkook bows his head. A frown decorating his face.

“You’ll just know.”

You can’t believe you’re back home with all your friends. You’ve missed this. You don’t regret going abroad at all, you needed it, if you’re being honest. You needed to do something for you no matter what. You needed to go out into the world and experience something wild and new. And Japan was an absolutely perfect experience. Every time Jungkook would visit you two would have such a lovely time, but saying goodbye never got easier.

“What are you thinking about?” Jungkook snuggles you closer to his body, you’re sitting between his legs on the grass on a blanket.

“Oh nothing.” You sing. “Nothing.”

“y/n! Do you want chicken or beef?” You hear Jin ask over the light music filling the backyard.

“Chicken!” you yell back and sink lower to the ground, cuddling closer to Jungkook.

“I’m serious y/n…” Jungkook begins, “You don’t have to wait until we’re home to be alone with me.”

“Follow me inside the house then.” You turn your head to face him and you wink, “I’ll be in the bathroom.”

“The bathroom? Oh, we’re being classy tonight.”

~~~~~

Jungkook’s fingers barely touch you as he skids them down your bare back, you lightly moan at the contact.

“Missed touching you.” He says softly, he fingers now running up your back before they’re sliding back down again.

“Missed being touched by you.” The side of your face is pushed into your pillow as you stare at him. “I missed you so much.”

It’s the next morning, you two are lying naked in your shared bed, the sheets barely covering you. Jungkook continues stroking your back as you lazily close your eyes.

“I’m glad you found a job here.” Jungkook admits, “I don’t think I want to ever be apart from you again.”

“Was it that bad?” you whisper out.

“Baby…no matter what we can get through it but yeah, it sucked.” He chuckles, his fingers graze your skin lower and lower. He lifts the sheets back until your ass is in view, Jungkook kneads the flesh before bringing his hand back and giving you a little spank.

“So, be a good girl and never leave me again.” He goes back to massaging your cheeks and you groan.

“Never again.” You promise. You keep your eyes shut as you enjoy Jungkook’s touch. You roll over to your back, bringing the sheets to your face and you sniff them.

“It feels so good to be home…” you say, “To be with you. In our home. Together.”

Jungkook feels his heart flutter, like a butterfly is taking off and flying towards the big, blue sky.

“Are you happy?” Jungkook asks, “With everything? With…me?”

You crack open one eye to get a look at Jungkook…he’s lying on his side with one arm stretched out to stroke your soft skin and his other arm is holding up his head. He looks so soft and like he has a glow surrounding him.

“So unbelievably happy, my love.” You assure him, “With everything…with you.”

Jungkook eyes expand before they narrow at you and he smirks.

“What about me makes you happy?”

“What about you makes me…?” you begin to laugh lightly. “Can I say everything? Or do I I have to list specific things?”

“I want a list. In alphabetical order, please.” He jokes. “Least to most important.”

“They’re all important!” you close your eyes again. “But okay…A: ass…” you say and Jungkook spanks you again.

“I’m serious y/n.”

“Dude me too, you have such a nice ass.” You point out, “But fine, A: your attitude. Even when things get hard you try to stay positive and it really helps me to be honest…B: body, you are really hot. C: Coc—”

“Okay, I feel like I know where this list is going.” Jungkook cuts you off with a blush. He can’t help but chuckle.

“Really Jungkook, everything. You make me happy when you breathe. Just being here with you makes me happy. You make me laugh all the time, you make me think about life, you make me challenge myself, you push me to do things for me, you support me, you are always honest with me, you…” you take a breath, “You…love me and you don’t make me doubt it for a second.”

Jungkook looks taken aback for a moment, like your words are really surprising him. He continues to glide his hand down your back, feeling your skin beneath his fingertips. Jungkook never wants a moment like this to end. It’s perfect. You look so beautiful here, relaxing after a night out partying and welcome home sex. He thinks this is the most beautiful you’ve ever looked. But to be fair he thinks that a lot.

“Because I do love you.” He finally says, “So much.”

“Trust me, I know. And I love you just as much if not more.”

“That’s impossible.” He leans down to kiss the top of your head. “My love for you is endless, how can you top that?”

“I can live my life trying.”

This is a moment, a special moment. Does he need a fancy dinner date to create a moment like this? Or is this the moment that Jimin was talking about? The moment where he knows.

“y/n…do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?” his tone is soft, tender and shy. Your cheeks get painted a lovely shade of pink as you think of his question.

“Of course I do.”

“No… I mean it. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me? Me and you forever? Me and you until we move on to the next life, and even then you have to promise to spend that one with me too…”

“Jungkook.” You giggle, “What are you going on about? We already said—”

“You’re it for me.” He admits, “You are without a doubt, the love of my life.” He blinks rapidly as if he were trying to rid himself of any oncoming tears.

“I mean it when I say you are the best thing that’s happened to me.” His lip slightly quivers and you reach up to caress his face.

“Baby,” you begin. “I love you.”

“Then…” Jungkook draws his hand that was stroking you to his body, he scratches the back of his neck and smiles shyly. “Will you spend the rest of your life with me?”

“Yes.”

“Then let’s make it official.” He says and you grow slightly confused. Jungkook stands from the bed and heads to the closet. You lay here wondering what the hell he is doing, is he putting on clothes? But he walks back out still naked, with something behind his back.

He comes to your side of the bed and gets down on both knees, he scoots closer to the bed until he’s face to face with you.

“Want to marry me?” he asks, reaching for your hand. His other hand holds a small box and your eyes grow twice their size. There’s no way he’s…

“Jungkook…” you breathe out, “Are you proposing?”

“Well, I have a ring. And I quite literally asked if you wanted to marry me. So yes?” he chuckles and you gasp.

“We don’t have to get married for a while. But being engaged and planning a future could be nice.” He suggests and you want to faint. You were not expecting this. Not so soon anyway. But he’s right, you don’t have to plan a wedding and get married right away. And he is without a doubt the love of your life as well.

“Jungkook.” You choke on his name, “Yes.” Jungkook sucks in a sharp breath…you said yes? His shocked expression slowly morphs into something much more soft. He takes your hand and he’s slipping the ring on your finger.

“Mine.” He says with a timid smile.

You stare down at your hand with the sparkly jewelry accompanying your finger.

“It’s so beautiful.” You say somewhat surprised.

“To be honest, Jimin really helped.” He admits with a laugh. “And by helped I mean he picked it out.”

“Figures.” You giggle and you reach for him, your hands on either sides of his cheeks as you bring him in for a kiss.

“You really want to marry me?” you raise a brow at him and he gives you his dopiest most in love bunny grin he can manage.

“I wouldn’t marry anyone else.”

“Good, me either.” You peck his lips again, “You want a whole life with me?”

“I want you in this life, the next life, the life after that…”

He plants kisses all over your face and you laugh.

“Want to marry you y/n. Want to adopt a pet with you…want to put a baby in you…want to grow old with you…” he says all between kisses.

“A-A baby?”

“One day. Multiple times.” He grins, kissing you again. “Don’t you want that?”

“Yes.” You say breathless. “One day.”

“I just really want you forever, you know?” Jungkook whispers. “Do you think you would like that?”

“Babe, I would love that.” You bring him in for another kiss, then you open your eyes and they travel to the ring on your hand. “And we just made that our plan.”

[sin-of-jess]

Ok how about this

Sub!Fayumi Todoroki x Dom!Male reader rough shower sex

It’s been on my mind days on end and I want to see my imagination come to lifeish,so work your magic

Warning: Rough sex and lots of name calling!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fuyumi had made a mess of herself making the family lunch I was invited to, and once everyone had eaten she scurried off to the shower to wash her flour-filled hair. I knew she'd be disappointed to realize that everyone left virtually the second the bathroom door closed, but the sudden solace gave me an idea good enough to make my cock twitch.

She had only been in the shower for a few minutes when I quietly slid the bathroom door closed behind me, making an effort to keep my footsteps silent. I stripped just as quietly and was greeted with a shriek when I pulled the curtain aside. "Y/N!!! M-MY FAMILY-"

"The last of them just left, they had to get back to work," I respond, easing into the shower's water flow to help warm myself.

It was easy to tell she was still unsure, so I focus on the most sensitive spots on her collarbone as I let my lips kiss along her skin. I roughly massage her hips, bringing her flushed body towards mine to remove any space between us. She was shaking despite the heat in the room, but the way her body leaned into mine let me know she was only nervous. "What if someone catches us?"

I gently bite the juncture of her neck and shoulder, "Don't worry, no one's gonna know how much of a dirty little slut you are," I comfort her, letting my left-hand travel down and slide through the soft curls above her slit. She audibly moaned at the derogatory name, and I knew I had her wrapped around my finger. "Look at how wet you already are Fuyu-chan, and I've barely touched you. Does daddy know he raised such a pretty little whore?"

The teasing words clearly riled her up, and she opens her mouth to protest. My thumb hooks the lower part of her mouth, stopping anything but a soft gasp from coming out. "The only thing that dirty little mouth should be doing is sucking my cock."

I pull down with my thumb, Fuyumi following as she dropped down to her knees. Once on her knees, she places her delicate hands onto her thighs and looks up at me through half-lidded eyes. "Open your mouth," I tell her, the obedient woman doing just so while also poking her tongue out. Her eyes are focused on my cock, watching as I give the length a few good pumps as I position myself to properly use her.

I slide the head past her lips, her mouth making an airtight seal as she begins to suck my cock. At first, I let her take her own pace, enjoying as she focuses on moving her head up and down while keeping her cheeks concave from the suction. It feels good, but I'm in the mood to show her who's in charge. I grab her by the head, her eyes widen as I speed the pace up much more than how she was going. As I hit the right place and angle to properly face fuck her, she brings her hands up to my thighs to balance herself. She looks up to make eye contact with me, my cock twitching in the back of her throat at the beautiful sight of her. It was hard to tell what wetness was droplets from the shower or the tears in her eyes, but she always rushed fluids from everywhere when I did this to her.

She loves it though, and it's easy to tell that when the hands on my thighs slide to the back so that she could physically tell me to go deeper. My pelvis is slamming into her face now, choking noises coming from the white-haired woman at my feet. As I feel my end coming I push her off me, her hands barely able to catch herself as her body drops onto the floor. She looks up at me with wide eyes as I loom over her, "Think you can get this over with that quick baby girl?" I ask her, enjoying the lustful look on her face.

I crouch down beside her, shoving my hand between her legs to feel the distinct feeling of her pussy juices covering most of her upper thighs. I roughly shove two fingers inside of her, her walls sucking me in deeper, "Look at how desperate your pussy is Fuyumi, your body is practically begging for my cock." I pump them in and out of her, the sound of squelching and her moans a beautiful symphony in my ears. As her body curls into my arm, I pull back, a loud and almost bratty whine coming from her. "Beg for my cock." I demand.

Her eyes flicker up at me, her chest heaving as her eyes go between my face and my throbbing cock. "I- I uh..." She watches as I lazily slide my thumb and ring finger up and down my shaft. "Please Y/-"

"Who?" I ask almost mockingly.

"P-please sir, please fuck me with your cock..." She meekly mumbles.

I shake my ear as if there's something in it, "What was that? I thought your slutty little mouth said something."

She leans up to be closer to me, her voice louder and more firm, "Please sir, please fuck me until I cum all over you!" It's all I need to hear and I jump on her, pushing her over onto her stomach and yanking her hips up to put her pussy at level with my cock. I slam into her, immediately pounding into her in quick strokes. She wails out in pleasure, hands reaching out in an attempt to anchor her body against the brutal pace I set.

I yank her up by her hair, a slap to her ass interrupting the scream that was in her throat. I push into her hard enough her cheek lands on the shower wall, her face smooshed up as garbled nonsense came from her. I slap her ass over and over, watching as her ass jiggled after every hit.

"I- I'm CUMMING!" She wails out, eyes screwed shut as small bursts of her cum squirt out around my cock. As soon as her orgasm passes I grab her by the throat, her back hitting my chest as I urge her to crawl forward until her entire upper body is up against the wall. At this new angle, I can tell I won't last much longer, so I let whatever dirty thing I could think of coming out of my mouth.

"Dirty whore, fucking cum slut just waiting to be filled by me." I place my hand onto her face, pushing her onto the wall even harder, "Tell me you want my cum, bitch."

That's exactly what she does. Between the mass of moans she's attempting to make sentences, "Fuck, give me- cum- fill me- more... MORE!" She wails out as another orgasm wracks her body, encouraging me over the edge. I groan loudly as my hips crash into her ass, pumping my cum deep inside her.

As the high settled and my cock softened I grab the woman in front of me, easing her against my chest and running my hand down her still-damp hair. I can feel her heart pounding, and her sexual afterglow is absolutely beautiful.

"You doing okay, darling?" She grins as she looks up at me through her lashes.

"doing amazing, handsome." She promises.

[curiousb]

The Brandon Family Album: Volume II

Get your hankies ready...

Alfred might be getting on a bit in dog years, but he still takes his role as Guardian of the Family very seriously, especially when it means keeping a close eye on Random Townies who lurk in the shrubbery to stare through the curtainless windows.

He also has a brand-new new family member to protect - meet Margaret’s little sister Beth Brandon!

Time flies, Beth grows up fast and doesn't make friends with the potty - that’s not a happy face.

Beth’s toddler stats:

~ Capricorn 8 / 4 / 9 / 7 / 8

~ Kind / Virtuoso

~ OTH: Music & Dance

Alfred now has two tots to keep an eye on...

and he couldn’t be happier.

But of course, the inevitable happens! Oh, Alfred, you’ll be missed (I was seriously sad that he was gone)! At least he spent his last day doing what he loved best - playing with the children.

Even without The Best Dog Ever, life goes on, and Margaret grows up well, despite losing her best friend.

Margaret’s child stats:

~ Sagittarius 4 / 5 / 10 / 2 / 4

~ Genius / Dog Person / Computer Whiz

~ OTH: Science

~ Favourite Colour(s): Turquoise

Evenin’, Mr Skunky McSkunkface! (I love this daft game!)

Christopher can’t wait to meet his new child! Perhaps it will be a boy this time? I’m afraid we’ll have to wait until later to find out though, as I completely failed to capture the moment for posterity.

Oh dear, life simply got in the way of paying the bills! Thank goodness the household has no Fortune Sims.

Well, you’re welcome to the computer - it didn’t work anyway.

But taking the kids’ toys is just mean!

Another event I almost entirely failed to record was Christopher and Marianne’s long-awaited wedding, where Marianne’s sister Elinor was bridesmaid and much cake was smooshed into faces.

It was all too much for little Beth, who retired to Alfred’s now empty dog house to escape the excitement.

Nope, still not looking happy, despite growing up well.

Beth’s child stats:

~ Capricorn 8 / 4 / 9 / 7 / 8

~ Kind / Virtuoso / Supernatural Fan

~ OTH: Music & Dance

~ Favourite Colour(s): Pink / Blue

Virtuoso Marianne’s still got it, even in her nightshirt.

Ever since ageing up, all Margaret has wanted is a puppy, so it’s off to find a new pal.

Well, we already know who Thomas Bertram went home with. (Charlotte, you don’t even have a pet.)

But whom did Hester Fairfax choose?! (And no, Charlotte, you really don't have a pet - I thought you were meant to be logical?)

Well, Margaret didn’t actually find what she was looking for at the pet shop (I didn’t realise that they don’t actually sell puppies), so they resort to old-fashioned methods - i.e. using a mod, because I didn’t like any of the options in the adoption pool.

Playful pup Chester is an instant hit with everyone, even eliciting a rare smile from Beth...

Chester’s stats:

~ Sagittarius 2 / 1 / 2 / 1 /1

and getting cuddles from the youngest sister Joanna Brandon, whom we finally get to meet (yes, the new baby was in fact another daughter).

Joanna’s toddler stats:

~ Sagittarius 8 / 2 / 6 / 3 / 6

~ Bookworm / Never Nude

~ OTH: Film & Literature

He also eats a lot.

Margaret and Beth appear to have swapped hobbies for some reason. Margaret seems determined to follow in her mother’s talented footsteps...

while at the moment Beth is more interested in discovering what might be out there amongst the stars.

All is right with the world, especially with Chester watching over Margaret while she sleeps, just as his predecessor Alfred once did.

[chaoticpuff17]

When the Chips are Down

part 9

masterlist

The next day came much too slowly. Y/N hated bed rest, and the constantly squirming future futbol star in her belly didn’t make finding a comfortable position easy. Namjoon also didn’t make bed rest any easier. The man was an expert at hovering. When he said bed rest, he meant bed rest. He didn’t let her so much as get up to use the bathroom by herself. Supposedly if she was up for even a moment without him watching, she and the baby would go into distress again. Perhaps on someone else the hovering would have been sweet, but it was Namjoon, and all she wanted to do was throttle him. She restrained herself though, if only for the sake of their new deal and the fact she wasn’t sure she could beat him in a fight with her belly so big. 

“You should really eat something.” He sighed, fully dressed and ready for the day as he sat beside her watching her pick at the food on the tray that Miss In had brought up for breakfast. “It’s good for the baby.” 

“I’m aware.” she shot back dryly, as she continued to poke at the food in distaste instead of eating it. 

“Just a little.” he tried to conceal a smile, finding her little frown adorable, even if he couldn’t allow her petulant refusal to eat in the mornings. There was only a few weeks left until the baby arrived, and he wanted them both to be as strong and healthy as possible. 

She turned to him, looking both tired and completely unimpressed. “I’m not a child, Namjoon.” 

“I know that, jagi, but the baby…” 

She took a deep breath, counting to ten to keep her temper in check. Mornings had been rough for her for the majority of the pregnancy. Morning sickness that was meant to go away half way through the pregnancy lingered, and true to its name, it liked to hit her in the morning. 

“I am aware that there’s a baby. I’m the one whose organs it's using as a punching bag. I know what I’m doing.” 

“Just a little. Please.” he did his best to keep his own temper in check, knowing full well that their truce was still fragile, but he was only trying to look out for them. 

“Fine.” she growled, gritting her teeth.

“Thank you.” he leaned over, pressing a kiss to her temple with a smile. “The new doctor will be stopping by today to check on you and the baby. I’m sorry I can’t be there for it, but I need to get things in order before the baby comes.” 

She nodded, taking a reluctant bite of breakfast. “That’s fine.” 

“Your sister will be here though.” 

She perked up at that. “Iyla?” 

He smiled, relieved to see her something other than ornery. “I thought you would like to have her with you, and I did promise you could see her today.” He loved the bright smile that spread over her features. He only wished that she would smile like that for him once in a while. “Jin will be coming by as well, just to make sure that everything is in order with the new doctor.” 

“No shooting this one.” she grumbled, taking another small bite. 

“No shooting.” he promised. 

After breakfast, where he forced her to choke down a minimal amount of porridge despite her still tender stomach, Namjoon was off to work, and she was more than happy to see him go. It gave her freedom to attempt sneaking her way out of bed, a plan that was quickly squashed by Miss In who had a gaggle of maids constantly checking up on her if she wasn’t there herself. She wanted to be dressed in something other than pajamas, but that apparently wasn’t going to happen. 

“Y/N!” a wonderfully familiar voice called right before the ball of energy that was her sister came barrelling into her, smooshing them both back against the pillows. 

“Hey, Iya.” she whispered, squeezing her sister tight and ignoring Hoseok who lingered at the door. “We’re fine, Hoseok. I’m sure Namjoon needs you for something or another.” the man didn’t move. “There are guards everywhere, and Miss In checks in every twenty minutes it seems. Do you really want to be here for my check up?” 

“Probably not.” he shrugged, smiling slightly. “I’ll wait till the kid’s born to coo over pictures.” He turned a sharp eye to Iyla who was still curled tightly around her sister. “I’ll be back later to pick you up, okay?” she didn’t say anything, and Hoseok sighed tiredly before making his exit. “Good luck with the check up.”

Both women waited for Hoseok to leave before they said anything else. 

“You’re okay right?” her sister pulled back, scanning her over once they were both sure Hoseok was gone. “You were so upset when I left, and you had pain in your belly. Is the baby okay?” 

“Baby is fine, but are you okay?” she lifted her hands up, gently cupping her face. “Hoseok didn’t hurt you at all?” 

She shook her head, causing a few stray strands to fall out of the bun that sat messily on top of her head. “I’m fine. He’s not the most pleasant,” she grimaced. “But he didn’t hurt me.”

“Good. That's good.”  she flopped back onto the mattress in relief. “So what are we doing today?” 

“I’m on bed rest.” the news was met with a sympathetic ‘oof’ from her sister. “But the new doctor is coming today to do a check up, so you’ll probably get to see the ultrasound.” 

“New doctor?” Iyla propped herself up on her elbows. “What happened to the old doctor?” 

“Namjoon shot her.” 

“And I thought mine was bad.” she huffed, laying back down. “Are we better or worse off than with Marcus?” she turned looking at her sister with a serious expression that wasn’t typical of her. 

Y/N sighed, settling herself back against the pillows as well. That really was the question. Were they better off? She’d told Namjoon that he was worse than Marcus, but was it actually true or had she just said it to rile him? 

“Well, I’m not getting beat up every other day.” she offered weakly. 

“Y/N.” 

“I made a deal.” she admitted, resting a hand over her belly. 

“What kind of deal did you make?” 

“They can’t hurt us. They can’t do anything that Marcus did, and I arranged for him to let Mark, the guy who helped me escape, go unharmed. The catch is we can’t leave, or at least I can’t. I made no such promise for you. If you find a window, you take it.” 

“I’m not leaving you here alone!” she argued, sitting up and glaring at her sister. “If I’m leaving, I’m taking you and the peanut with me.” 

“I can’t.” she shook her head sadly. “I’ve gotten out of here twice, and neither was without help, and both times ended badly. I got Jackson killed, Iya.” 

“We run together. We go back to the states!”

“We don’t have phones. We don’t have passports.” 

“We get to the embassy!” 

Y/N shook her head. “We have no way of getting to Seoul. You’d have a much better chance of getting out of here without dragging a pregnant lady with you, and how exactly do you think we’re going to get out of here? There are guards everywhere, and I don’t think  Namjoon is going to be taking any chances with the baby due in a few weeks.” 

“We have to try!” 

“If I leave the deal is broken, and there is no protection for either of us. If you have a chance to go, you take it, and you don’t look back.” 

“I can’t leave you here!” she cried. “Are you insane!” 

“Your sister has a point.” a new voice called from the door pulling both of their attention to Sen who stood there with her little boy perched on her hip. “But even if you have a chance it won’t end well for you. Hoseok isn’t a man to cross. He can be sweet if he wants to, but there’s a whole lot of crazy behind that sunshiney exterior. You’re safer here where you have family to look out for you.” 

“And who are you?” Iyla growled, protectively scooting closer to her sister. 

“This is Sen.” Y/N placed a calm hand on Iyla’s shoulder. “She’s Yoongi’s wife, not by choice.”

“What’s she doing here?”

“Came to check in on you and the baby.” 

“You’re not needed.” 

“She’s a friend.” Y/N scolded, lightly smacking Iyla’s shoulder. “Don’t be rude.” 

“Well, then we take her too!” Iyal conceded, already getting fired up again.

“Right.” both older women scoffed. 

“How are you planning to sneak you, me, a baby, and a pregnant lady out of here?” Sen asked arching an elegant brow. “I’m not risking Yoonho. Taehyung might be busy with his girl, but he has eyes everywhere, and I’m betting Hoseok had Jin stick one of Taehyng’s trackers in you just like Yoongi did me. They’re a little paranoid if you hadn’t noticed. Two out of seven have had pregnant women slip away from them. Apparently, it’s a little traumatizing.” 

That shut Iyla right up, if only for a moment. “We can take the trackers out!” Her voice was more frantic now as she grasped at straws.

“Done that.” Y/N grimaced at the memory. “It wasn’t a pleasant experience.” 

“We can’t do nothing!” 

“You’re not doing nothing.” Sen assured her. “You’re keeping your head down and keeping safe.” 

“I can’t risk any more travel with the baby.” Y/N added softly. “I almost went into labor yesterday. But you’re safe so long as I keep up my end of the deal.” 

“What about you?” Iyla insisted, gaze heated as her eyes darted between the two older women. “You’re content to just sit here and play house?” 

“I’d rather you be safe.” Y/N took her little sister’s hand in hers. “I won’t have you go through what I went through with Marcus, and at least this way, you have some level of protection.” 

“It’s not fair!” 

“I know.” she agreed softly. “But it’s the best I can do for now.” 

“Namjoon’s not going to hurt her.” Sen promised. “He went crazy when she was gone. He might be a raging psychopath, but he has some sort of twisted love for your sister. So long as she and the baby are here with him, she’ll be okay.” 

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” 

“It’s the best we can do.” 

“What’s the best you can do?” Jin asked, popping into the room with a rather pale looking Hayan trailing behind him. “Good to see you again, Iyla. How’s the arm?” he asked, nodding towards the arm where he’d inserted the chip. 

“Great.” she hissed, glaring at him. “What’s the quack doing here?” 

“I’m offended! I offered to play Narts with you!” 

“Quack.” She grumbled, scooting even closer to her sister.

“He’s here for the appointment, Iya.” 

Jin perked up, turning his attention to the very pregnant woman. “And how is our gorgeous mom to be today?” 

“I’d be a whole lot better if I wasn’t on bed rest.” 

Jin laughed, and Hayan made her way over to the bed, perching on the edge and sending Y/N a small attempt at a smile. “Just for a few days. It’ll put all our minds at ease after the scare you gave us yesterday and all the stress Namjoon’s put you through.” 

“Hi, Hayan. You doing okay?” the other woman nodded slightly, but it was clear to everyone in the room she was still shaken. 

“I wanted her to stay home and rest, but she wanted to see how you were doing.” Jin sighed dramatically. “It’s my lot in life to be surrounded by gorgeous stubborn women.” 

“How’s the baby?” Hayan asked, voice soft. 

“Kicking.” 

“Kicking is good.” Jin nodded. “The new doctor should be here soon, and then we should be able to take a proper look at you and baby. Are all you ladies staying for the check up?” It was a question addressed to all of them, but they all knew that it was Y/N who was meant to answer. 

“As long as no one but the doctor is checking things down there, we’re fine.” 

“Okay.” Jin clapped his hands together. “I am going to ask that everyone who isn’t Iyla go sit over there, except you.” he reached out, lifting Yoonho right out of Sen’s arms. “You get to stay with Uncle Jinnie, spend some time away from stinky old Yoongi.” 

The little boy stared at him, completely unimpressed looking so much like his father before he started fussing for absolutely no reason, reaching up with one chubby little fist to roughly grab a lock of Jin’s hair and yanking. 

“Ow! Okay! Okay!” Jin handed the baby back. “Not today then. He gets more like his dad every day.” he huffed, pouting as yoonho settled back into his mother’s arms. 

“He cries for Yoongi too.” Sen offered as a consolation, bouncing the baby lightly. “He’s a momma’s boy.” 

“More like his dad every day.” Jin muttered again, shaking his head sadly. 

“Buin.” Miss In called from the door. “The doctor has arrived.” the woman stepped aside to reveal a different woman dressed professionally with her hair neatly pinned to the top of her head. 

“Buin.” the woman bowed respectfully. “I’m Dr. Yang. I’ll be taking over your prenatal and postnatal care.” 

“Dr. Yang.” she greeted eyeing the woman warily. 

Miss In had done a wonderful job of cleaning the master bedroom and at record speed as well, but the memory of what had happened just the other day was still fresh in everyone’s minds. 

She could tell just by looking at the woman, it was going to be a long day. 

part 10

[outerbankspreferences]

You Could’ve Been Killed - Steve Rogers

Word Count: 2601

MASTERLIST

WARNINGS: This fic does contain smut so 18+. It’s a dom!Steve x braty!Reader I hope you enjoy!

It wasn’t like you to defy orders from Steve in a life-or-death situation. It wasn’t like you defy Steve at all, but this time you couldn’t help it. He was making the wrong call; he was second guessing your abilities. You had been practicing with Natasha for months and this was your first mission since the incident.

You knew Steve didn’t want to see you hurt again. What happened was bad and took a while for you to be okay again, but that didn’t mean you weren’t ready. “Y/N get back to the jet.” You heard through the speaker in your suit. “No Steve, I can do this.” You spoke a little above the whisper. “No Y/L/N, we’re falling back. We need to regroup.”

 He was probably right; you had gotten some bad intel about a Hydra group and a simple integration turned into a hostage negotiation. Steve knew as soon as there were hostages involved you weren’t giving up. He knew you didn’t want anyone to suffer the same fate you did, but that didn’t mean you had to put the rest of the team in danger. “Y/N if you’re not back here in 2 minutes, you’re done. Get back to the jet, that’s an order.” There was a little voice of reason going through your head, ‘go back to the jet before you get yourself and everyone else killed.’ “I guess it’s a good thing I don’t know how to listen to orders Cap.” You spoke and he could almost hear the smirk in your voice.

 ~~

 You guys were on your way back to Avengers Headquarters, and you were stuck listening to Steve lecture you about the choice you made. You saved the hostages, but Hydra got away and you were no closer to stopping them then before. “You went against my orders; how can I trust you to be in the field if you can’t listen to what I say.” He spoke in a stern tone, and you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. You watched Steve closely as he rambled on about the safety of the others waving his hands around in the air and all you could think of was those strong hands wrapped around your throat. “Y/N are you even listening to me?” Steve questioned pulling you from your dirty imagination.

 “You know what Rogers if it weren’t for me, those people would have died, or worse. In my books that’s a win.” You spoke with an authoritative tone as the jet began to land. You weren’t one to speak out and everyone looked at you when you yelled at Steve. “You could’ve killed all of us. You could’ve got yourself killed Y/N.” He spoke a little less stern, trying to balance out your emotions. “Wouldn’t you just love that, wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore.” You spoke before turning on your heels and leaving the quinjet. What you said hurt Steve, he didn’t mind caring about you. He also didn’t know that was how you felt. He started to go after you before Nat stopped him, “let her cool off, I think today was a bit triggering.” She reminded Steve, but he didn’t want to leave you alone, he wanted to follow you. He wanted to tell you that it was okay to fear your past, that it was okay to feel sad, but he didn’t follow you.

 After a couple hours, you still hadn’t come out of your room Steve grew concerned. Everyone came down for supper, but you hadn’t. Nat said that you were in your room listening to music, and Steve knew that it was like your escape from the world. He made you a piece of toast and a cup of tea before heading up to your room. After any mission you could be found hidden away trying to cope with what just happened and wind down from the day’s events. Steve knocked lightly on your door, when you didn’t answer he knocked again, “Y/N? you in there?” He spoke through the door before it swung open. “Oh, look who it is, I figured I would skip supper, wouldn’t want to get anyone killed.” You spoke with sarcasm lacing every word. Steve rolled his eyes at your comment, choosing to ignore it. “I made you something to eat, you must be hungry.” He gestured to you letting him in.

 You looked at the plate of food, and then back at your room. He wasn’t wrong you were hungry, but you didn’t want to let him in. You hadn’t gone to supper because you couldn’t forgot how Steve made you feel when he was yelling at you. It wasn’t fear, it wasn’t anger, it was lust; those dirty thoughts about his hand around your throat only got worse with his lecture and you didn’t know if you could face him again. “Y/N are you going to let me in or not?” Steve asked looking slightly annoyed with you.

 “Uh yeah, sure thanks.” You spoke not trying to give yourself away. You moved out of the way so he could come into your room. You led him over to the little seating area you set up and gestured for him to sit down. You two sat in comfortable silence before you finally spoke up, “I couldn’t let those people die today, myself that’s debatable but not them” You tried reasoning with him. “No one is expendable on this team. That includes you.” He spoke leaning forward putting a hand on your knee. You almost jumped at the contact and you were hoping that it went unnoticed by him. He was a super soldier, of course he picked up on it. “Are you okay?” He asked being completely oblivious to what was going on. “Oh yeah, I’m fine, just tired is all. Long day.” You spoke quickly and you knew with every word you spoke you were giving yourself away.

 Steve wasn’t an idiot; he knew what was going on with you. He could almost smell your arousal when you opened the door. He moved closer to you. “You know, it was pretty dangerous what you did.” He spoke in a low tone and you could feel the weight of him in his hand on your knee. “Yeah, well you know me, always doing stupid stuff.” You spoke trying to seem as innocent as possible. “I don’t think I ever got a proper chance to punish you.” He spoke but this time his breath was fanning over you ear and it caused you to shiver.

 “Oh god”, was all you could manage to say as Steve started to place slopping kisses on your neck, pulling you to stand up. “You’re going to be praying to god I stop when I’m done with you.” He spoke again right in your ear and the comment went straight to the throb in your panties. You’ve never seen this side of Steve before, out of everyone on the team he is the softest.

 Steve moved his knee between your legs to create a gap between them and you moved your hands to the back of his neck pulling his lips onto yours. Steve fought back for just a moment to remind you he was in charge of what was going on. You moaned into his mouth when he moved your leg to wrap around his waist grinding against him. “Are you that fucking desperate for me?” Steve spoke in a condescending tone and you whimpered at his words. “Yes, Steve, please.” You moaned out. And he grabbed onto your checks in a harsh grip forcing your eyes on him. “You are going to listen to me. When I tell you to touch yourself, you touch yourself. If I tell you to ride me, you’re going to ride like we both know you want too. And maybe if you’re a good girl, I’ll let you cum.” He spoke in a low husky voice that gave you butterflies. “Is that an order?” You ask trying to push his limits a little more.

 In a few seconds Steve threw you against the bed and had your ass up in the air. You were wearing a pair of pajama pants, and he pulled them off you harshly. You could sense the smirk on his face when he could see you weren’t wearing any panties. “Is that what you wanted Y/N? You are soaking for me, and I haven’t even done anything yet.” Steve spoke his breath fanning over your sensitive heat, and you let out a desperate whine. “Yes, this is what I wanted.” You voice cracked at the end and all you feel was lust between the two of you. Steve landed a harsh slap on your ass, and you let out a small yelp. “Ouch.” “oh, that’s nothing babe, but if it gets too much, just say red.” He informed you, and you thought it was sweet gesture to come up with a safe word.

 Steve landed a couple more good slaps to your ass, and now he was just looking at you. Your face smooshed to the bed while your bright red ass pushed up in front of his face. “Now I’m going to eat you out and you’re going to stay still. Are you going to be my good girl?” He asked, lips brushing over your heat waiting for your response. “Y-yes Steve, I’ll be your good girl.” You stutter out and Steve slapped your cunt, “it’s sir, do you understand me?” He hissed out. “Yes sir.” “That’s my good girl.”

 Steve dove straight into your cunt, licking a long strip from your cunt right up to your ass. You let out an ungodly moan, pushing back into him. “Stay still,” he spoke out not want you to mess up his rhythm. He started again, kitten licking at your clit, and you cried out again fighting the urge to push into him again. Steve used his fingers to pull your lips part more, let his tongue have full access to your cunt. He slipped his tongue in your cunt moving around your clenching walls. “oh god Stev- I mean sir.” You spoke and mentally cursed yourself. Steve released his mouth from your dripping cunt, and you whined at the loss of contact. “No go back please. I’m sorry.” You spoke trying to reason with him, but he was in dominating head space and there was no use.

 “Oh baby, I thought you were going to be a good girl for me. That’s not being a good girl.” He responds pulling you to stand up and unbuttoning his jeans, “now you’re going to put that mouth to some good use and suck me off.” He pushed you down on your knees and you were blessed for the rug under your bed softening your fall. Your eyes went wide when Steve pulled his pants the rest of the way down. He was huge, and it made you wonder if he was that hung before the super solider serum. He watched you visibly gulp, and he chuckled at your reaction. “Come on love. I don’t have all day.” He said almost sounding annoyed with you. You took the tip of him in your mouth and then sucked harshly on it a Steve let a loud moan out. You swirled your tongue along the tip and sucked another time feeling a twitch in his thighs. “Stop fucking teasing me you brat.” He spoke harshly before thrusting his entire length in your mouth causing you gag. “Oh, you can take me better then that. Come on princess. You’ve got this.” He encouraged stroking your cheek. Steve continued his assault on your throat, moaning at each time you gagged around him. After a couple of minutes, you gained control over refluxes and focused on pleasing him.

 Steve finally stopped fucking your throat when you could feel him getting close to his release. He pulled you up, watching as you tried catching your breath. Steve wiped the tears and spit of your face with the back of his hand, “now I’m going to fuck you. I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’re going to walk funny tomorrow, and the next time you think about defying me you’ll remember this. You’ll remember how sore your ass is, how sore you’re going to be in the morning and how sore your little cunt is after I’ve had my way with you.” He whispered into your ear and every word he spoke made your cunt wetter.

 Steve pushed you back on you’re the bed and you start to move back into the position you were in earlier, but Steve stopped you. “No. I want to see that pretty face of yours while I fuck into you.” He spoke, pushing you up the bed. He crawled on top you, pushing some of your hair out of your face. You took in Steve’s complexion; his face was sweaty and red, and you reached up and placed a shaky hand on it. Steve nuzzled into your touch and for a split second you thought he was going to go easy on you, but then he slammed his hard cock in your dripping cunt. You let out a loud moan, arching you back towards him. Steve swore he could’ve cum from the sight of you. You were completely fucked out, pushing yourself down to meet his harsh thrust, moaning and whimpering.

 “You like that don’t you. You like when I fuck you nice and slow. Nice and hard into this dripping cunt, and oh fuck, you keep clenching around me. Like this pussy was made just for me.” With every word he spoke he thrusted harder and harder into you. “please sir, please I need to cum.” You spoke and Steve watched as you started to squirm, trying to hold in your orgasm as best as you could. “Just a little longer, I want to finish together, I’m almost there.” He spoke picking up the pace. He thrust were starting to get sloppy, but they were still strong, and you were struggling to hold on. “Now princess. You can cum now.” He whispered in your ear and you let out a moan that would make a porn star jealous. Steve could feel your walls clenching around him and it pulled him the rest of the way to his release. “Oh, fuck Y/N, I’m cumming.” He let out loud groan, feeling you with his hot seed.

 The two of you stayed still for moment, just taking the moment. Soon enough Steve pulled out of you with a hiss. He went to the bathroom attached to your room and grabbed a warm washcloth for you, and then came back to the bed. “Just need to get you cleaned up sweet girl.” He spoke but this time it was much softer, “ouch that hurts,” you wined wincing at the contact. Steve chuckled and shook his head cleaning up the mess the two of you made before helping you re-dress. Once the two of you were snuggled into your bed, you spoke up. “I’m sorry for not listening today. I know I could’ve gotten us all killed.” Steve knew that your apology was genuine, and he choose his next words carefully. “It’s okay. It’s who you are. You want to help people, and I love that about you, but you are just as important as the rest of us. Do you understand me?” He asked pulling you gaze to him. “Yes sir.”

[slashingdisneypasta]

Slashers Toy Story!AU

Or, *cough* a way for me to write out a buncha funny Incorrect Quotes and smoosh two things I love together.

Woody: Jason Voorhees

Buzz Lightyear: Michael Myers

Jessie: Ghostface

Prospector/Stinky Pete: Roman Bridger

Bo Peep and Ham: Freddy Krueger

Mr Potato Head: Chucky / Charles Lee Ray

Mrs Potato Head: Tiffany Valentine

Slinky: Carrie White

Rex: Bubba Sawyer

Barbie: Jennifer Check

Ken: Patrick Bateman

Lotso-'O'-Huggin' Bear: Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt. Was gonna be Bo, but Hoyt just fits way better. Plus he has Thomas.

Chuckles: Monty

Big Baby: Thomas hewitt

The Chatter Telephone: Luda Mae Hewitt

Also, Sunnydale Daycare: Ambrose. Because why not.

*I'm thing the kids in Toy Story are the fanbase and creators of the Slashers in this AU. Like, Andy and Bonnie are the original creators that make up the canon stuff and created them to be the infamous characters we all know- and Sid is us fan-people that twist and distort the characters for our own pleasure, haha XD *

An abundance of Incorrect Quotes bellow the cut!

Chucky: *With all the features on his face mismatched*

Chucky: Hey Freddy, look! I'm Picasso!

Freddy: ... yeah, I don't get it. *Leaves*

Chucky: *what... * You uncultured swine!! *Shakes his fist at Freddy's retreating back. That was a good fucking joke, goddamn.*

~

Michael: *Writing down on whiteboard:* Excuse me... I think the word you're searching for is

THE SHAPE.

Jason: *Already so done with this edgy boy's bullshit*

Jason: *Moves attention to his own whiteboard, starts writing*

Jason: *Shows board*

NO. The word I'm 'searching for', I cant say, because there are preschool toys present.

*Gestures ferociously to Carrie and Bubba.*

~

Jason: *Ughhhh. Shows board that he frantically wrote on:* Its not a KNIFE! Its a little stick of plastic!!

Freddy: What's wrong with him??

Chucky: Knife envy~

Freddy: Ah been there

~

Jason and Michael: *Watching Dr Loomis give psychology advice*

Jason and Michael: *Slowly tilting their heads sceptically, in unison*

Michael: *Holds up board for Jason to read:* ... I don't think that man has ever been to medical school.

~

Jason: *Trying to get Michael to help him. Writes passive aggressively on board and shoves the thing in Michael's view:* Would you give me a hand!???

Michael: *Fucking slices his own arm off and chucks it at Jason*

Look, he's having a bad day...

~

Freddy: *Sneaks up on Jason and digs his fingers into the giants sides*

Jason: *Whips around and cracks Freddy in the face from shock*

Jason: *Realises its just Freddy as the other groans and holds his nose, and looks a little guilty. Oh, Freddy. Writes on board and shows him:* There's gotta be a less painful way to get my attention.

Freddy: Agh- Fucking- Merry Christmas, hockey puck!

Jason: *Catches sight of something above them, tilts his head. Writes and shows board:* Isn't that mistletoe?

Freddy: *A slow, creepy grin rips across his face* Yep.

~ Toy Stoy 2~

Jason: *Frantically holding up a board:* Michael! I was a yo-yo!

Freddy and Chucky: *Look at each other*

Chucky: 'Was'?

~

*Michael and the others watching a dude try to buy Jason and failing.*

Michael: *Thinking: Mm, now just walk away.*

Man: *Follows after where Jason went.*

Michael: *Thinking: ... the other way.*

~

*After Jason has been stolen- everyone is panicking*

Michael: *Stomping his foot, trying to gather these psychopaths' attentions. Wait a minute! Wait, hold on! When he semi has their attention, he shows a piece of paper with writing on it:* This is not time to be hysterical.

Freddy: Its the perfect time to be hysterical.

Bubba: *Gasp. Should we be hysterical!?*

Carrie: *Tries to calm Bubba down, a hand on his arm and voice gentle* No-

Chucky: Yes.

Michael: *Thinking: ... well, maybe*

~

Freddy: Give this to Jason when you find him

Freddy: *SMACKS MICHAEL UPSIDE THE HEAD*

Michael: ... *Holds up board* Alright. But I don't think it'll mean the same thing coming from me.

~

Freddy: *Up ahead* Hey guys! Why did the toys cross the road!?

Michael: *But rolls his eyes. Not now bacon bits.*

Bubba: *Perks up and waives. Oh! He loves riddles. Why?*

Freddy: To get to the chicken... on the other side!

*They all look out and celebrate, seeing where Jason was being kept hostage... but then realise how dangerous getting across will be as a giant fricken truck careens by and crushes a can the same size as them*

Bubba: ... *Promptly turns around and starts walking back the way they came. Oh well. We tried-*

Michael: *Grabs Bubba back*

~

Jennifer: I can help! I'm Tour Guide Jen!

Jennifer: Please keep your hands, arms and accessories inside the car, and no flash photography! Thanks.

Chucky: -I'm a married man, I'm married man, I'm married man-

Freddy: *Shoves Chucky out of the way* Then make room for the single fellas.

~

Michael: *Ugh. Writes on board:* They're on level 23.

Carrie: How are we gonna get up there?

Bubba: *Gestures to balloons, then up to the sky. Meaning: Maybe if we find some balloons, we could float to the top!*

Chucky: Are you kidding? I say we stack ourselves up, push the intercom, and pretend we're delivering a pizza.

Freddy: How bout a roast? *Grins*

Freddy: *Assesses Chucky and Carrie in turn* With tenderised pig and a slaughtered lamb as sides.

Chucky: Hold the fuck up did you just call me a pig- and a side-

Carrie: What?

Bubba: Oh! Oh! *Pats his chest excitedly. Do him! What about me??*

Freddy: ... Eh, you can be the toy that comes with the meal.

~

*Michael does something to get them all hurt and doesn't to care at all, of course. Just moves on.*

Chucky: Remind me to glue his mask on his head when we get back.

Freddy: *Nods, yep*

~

Chucky:*Embracing Tiffany after having been away saving Jason*

Glen and Glenda: You saved our lives! We're eternally grateful!

Chucky: Oh, fuck...

Tiffany: You saved their lives, Chucky?? Oh, my hero.

Tiffany: *Immediately drops Chucky in favour of picking up the babies* And they're adorable! Lets adopt them!

Chucky: *Thinking: What? No- Absolutely not- Don't say tha-*

Glen and Glenda: Daaaaddy!

Chucky: Fuck.

~Toy Story 3~

Jason: *Holds up a sign as he stands there menacingly with his machete:* You got a date with justice, Charles.

Chucky: Heh, too bad, 'sheriff'. I'm a married man.

Tiffany: *Comes out screaming, wielding goddamn nun chucks*

~

Michael: *Eyes narrow behind mask, slowly holds up sign he prepared earlier:* Bastard son of a hundred maniacs.

Freddy: Hah. That's Mr Bastard son of a hundred maniacs, to you!

~

*The toys/Slashers watch some toys, including Jennifer and her car get thrown in the donation bin*

Ghostface: Oh, man, poor Jen.

Freddy: ... I get the corvette.

~

Tiffany: Its alright, Jen, it'll be okay.

Jennifer: Well... Needy and I have been growing apart for a while...

Jennifer: Its just... I cant believe she would kill me!

Chucky: *Who's 'best friend till the end'/victim also killed him* Yeah. Welcome to the club, toots.

~

Hoyt: They just love new toys, don't they?

Chucky: Love!? We've been chewed, kicked, drooled on-

Tiffany: Just look at my nails!

Hoyt: ... Hm. Well, here's the thing, sweetheart. You aint leavin' Ambrose.

Tiffany: *Thinking: Oh fuck no he did not just- * Sweetheart!? Who do you think you're talking to!? I have over 10 kills, and I deserve more respec-

Hoyt: *Covers Tiffany's mouth with his hand* Ah, that's better.

Chucky: *Thinking: I'm going to fuck this douche up- * Hey, no one takes my wife's mouth. *Shoves Hoyt back off her by the chest* 'Cept me.

~

*Hoyt and Thomas bring Chucky back from 'The Box'. He's more fucked up looking then usual, sand all through his hair and stuck to his plastic features. He shakes it out of his pockets.*

Tiffany: *Gasp* Sweetheart!

Chucky: Eugh... it was cold. And dark. Nothin' but sand and a couple of Lincoln logs.

Freddy: Ehhh... I don't think those were Lincoln logs.

~

Ghostface: I was wrong...

Chucky:

Chucky: Ghostface is right. He was wrong.

~

Jennifer: *Fake cries*

~

Chucky: *Slaps a Pidgeon*

~

*Trying to reset Michael back to his former settings/self (The one that knows them and therefore will maybe-perhaps-possibly not kill them*

Freddy: Oh- oh- oh, here we go. there should be a little hole under the switch.

Jason: *Little hole little hold little hole- Nods. Got it!*

Freddy: To reset your Michael Myers action figure, insert paper clip-

Jason: *Sharply turns to Bubba, urging him to put his finger in the hole quickly*

Freddy: Caution; Do not hold button for more then five seconds...

Michael: *Suddenly stops thrashing and goes slack*

Everyone: ...

Bubba: *Jumps off him, holding up his hands. Its not my fault!!*

~

Michael, on Spanish Mode: *Gives Jason two sweet kisses on either cheek*

Jason: *Awkwardly, slowly holds up sign:* We gotta switch him back.

~

Ghostface: Oh! Mikey!!

Michael, still on Spanish Mode: *Sees Ghostface*

Michael: *Drops to his knees, gathers up Ghostface's hand*

Michael: *Looks up at Ghostface in utter awe and admiration*

Ghostface: *Freaken freaked out. Shouldn't he be the creepy one in this outfit? Leans away* Uhh... did you fix Michael?

Freddy: Uh, sorta. I mean I for one think this is a huge improvement.

~

Michael, STILL on Spanish Mode: *Does a dance of feelings around Ghostface, wanting to express himself*

Ghostface: What- why- please stop I'm gonna pee myself- Of laughter or fear I have no idea but I WILL PEE

Michael: *Grabs and dips Ghostface, and holds up a sign* We will be the most famous killers in history, together.

Ghostface: *Thinking: Oh I can get behind that, hell yeah- *

Jason: *Arrives*

Ghostface: Oh- *Scrambles out of Michaels hold* JASE!

Michael: *Watches them move on together* *Throws down the sign*

Freddy: I suddenly feel disgusting, like... I somehow ended up in some kinda... love-square, of some kind...

~

Jason: *Nicely gestures for Michael to give him some help*

Michael, stillllllll on Spanish mode: *Sniffs his nose at Jason's hand, shoving him out of the way with one arm like no thank you.*

~

Jennifer: Authority should derive from the consent of the governed. Not from the threat of force! // Or, alternatively which I think fits a whole lot better- // I am not going to stand back here and let another fucking old white guy tell me what the fuck to do!

Chucky and Freddy, two old white guys: *Look at each other*

Chucky:

Freddy:

Chucky and Freddy: *Shrug*

And that's it seeing as I don't really wanna see Toy Story 4. I hope you enjoyed this silly thing with me at least a little XD

Okay so I got a little attached in the end.

[lovemeleo]

Asher’s First Dumo Dinner

You know I had to continue the Asher series, I love that little bub. So here is Asher’s first dinner at Dumo’s with the team. 

Here are the other parts if you haven’t read them yet: 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

____________________________________

After Asher met Dumo, they decided it was time for the rest of the team to meet him. They had plans for the Lupin’s to come the following week, but they also wanted him to meet their other family. Asher had just hit the one month mark and the team had been chomping at the bit to meet the “Coops baby.” 

James and Lily had gotten to see them at the hospital once, but they hadn’t seen their godson since. The group chat was constantly filled with baby pictures as well as the constant pressuring to bring him to the rink, to practice, to Sid’s.

As new parents, Remus and Sirius were both a bit nervous but had agreed when Dumo offered to have dinner at his place that way everyone could meet him at once. 

Tonight was the night and they had just finished getting everything together. For such a small being, Asher needed a lot of stuff constantly. Remus was changing him into a cute onesie with a little lion on the front, as Sirius put the bags by the door. 

“Mon loup, we’re going to be late.” Sirius yelled up the stairs as he grabbed his keys. 

Swooping the baby off the table, Remus pressed kisses to his tummy, “C’mon, bub, let’s go meet some of your crazy uncles.”

Asher chewed on his fist as Remus carried him down, getting him buckled into the carrier, “Ready?” He asked Sirius, tucking the carrier onto his arm. 

Sirius let out a nervous breath, “As I’ll ever be.” He murmured as he leaned to press a kiss to Remus’s cheek. His stomach had been in knots all day. This was not just the day his team would be meeting Asher, but also the day his brother would meet his nephew. 

Squeezing his hand, Remus led the way out the car and they were off to Dumo’s. 

Sirius’s fingers tapped nervously on the steering wheel as he drove, “What if something goes wrong? Or he doesn’t like them? Or if I forgot something in the bag? Or-”

He was cut off before the what-if’s could continue, Remus resting a hand on his thigh, “Baby, it’s going to be fine. They all love him already just from the group chat, and he is going to love them right back. Take a deep breath.” He murmured as they pulled into the driveway.

Sirius inhaled deeply, resting his head back on his seat, “Alright. Let’s do this. You wanna grab him?” He asked as he unbuckled, glancing back at Asher who was happily oblivious to his father’s panic.

Pressing a kiss to the other man’s cheek, Remus pulled away with a smile, “Nah you grab him. I’ll grab the bags.”

Sirius got out quickly, as Asher tended to get whiny when the car wasn’t moving, “Viens ici, mon petit amour. I’ve got you.” He murmured softly, unbuckling the carrier from the car before carefully lifting it out.

“They’re already staring.” Remus said with a laugh. Sirius followed his line of sight until he saw them. What looked like the entire team had their faces pressed against the front window, breath fogging up the glass.

Sirius shook his head, laughing as they walked to the front door, “Looks like something out of a horror film.” As soon as they knocked, the door swung open to reveal Celeste, smiling widely.

“Boys, so glad you’re here. I’ve so many face prints to clean off my window because of you.” She teased, peeking into the carrier. “Bonjour mon petit chou.” She cooed as she let them in.

After shrugging out of his own jacket, Sirius began unbuckling Asher who let out a soft whine, “I know, I know, baby. What’s going on?” He whispered.

Remus leaned in to give Celeste a hug, “Thanks for letting us take over your house for a little bit. It’s nice to get out of the house.”

She laughed, squeezing him tight, “We’ve been there, mon fils. Now let’s get you guys in there before they trash my house, non?”

Remus reached back to grab Sirius’s free hand before they followed Celeste into the living room. He had honestly never seen this group so still. Or quiet. The quiet was weird. 

“Didn’t know you guys could be this quiet..” Sirius teased, eyes flickering over his team as they peered at the small bundle in his arms.

Dumo walked over, peeking at the small face staring at him, “I told them they had to be quiet, or they didn’t get to see you. Right, mon petit?” 

“We didn’t wanna scare him. We’re being good and everything.” Finn whispered, his hands clasped under his chin. All of the boys nodded, watching as if they had never seen a baby before. 

Sirius held him gently, pulling the blanket away so everyone could see the small face blinking back at them. “He looks even smaller in person.” Kasey said from where he sat with Nat on his lap.

“That little face, I sorta just wanna smoosh his cheeks a lot.” Talker said as he tried making funny faces, Asher’s eyebrows coming together as he watched.

Remus smiled, wrapping an arm around Sirius, “Who wants to hold him first?” He asked.

A voice from the stairs behind them made Sirius jump, “I called first dibs.”

Regulus.

Sirius bit back a smile as his little brother walked over. In all honesty, he had wanted to have Regulus over separately to meet him. He could tell his brother was nervous. 

“Of course, Reg. You wanna sit on the couch?” Sirius offered, as the Cubs scooted to make room for him in the middle. 

Regulus nodded, moving in between Finn and Leo, “How do I… Is there a way to put my hands?” He asked anxiously.

Moving forward, Remus moved Regulus’s hand into a cradle shape, “You just wanna support his head and then have the other hand under his butt.” He explained as Sirius moved to sit on the table in front of the couch.

“Ready to meet your uncle, mon petit?” Sirius murmured, a small hand reaching out from the blankets to grab at his finger. “Oh, I know, very exciting stuff.” 

He looked up at Reg, smiling softly, “You ready?” He asked. The younger boy nodded, biting his lip as he held the cradle position.

Sirius carefully transferred Asher over, watching as his brother’s face changed to awe. 

“Oh you guys got a cute one. Look at that little nose.” Leo cooed, his long finger tracing down Asher’s nose, a small huff leaving his tiny lips. He curled closer to his uncle, fingers reaching to grab at his shirt. Regulus seemed to hold his breath as if he was afraid one wrong inhale would have caused chaos.

“None of the Black DNA and he still managed to have our hair.” Regulus muttered teasingly, but his eyes never left the baby’s face.

Sirius smiled fondly, his hand rubbing over the top of his son’s small head, “I know, the only difference is he’s going to have Rachel’s curls.” 

“Curls are so cute though. It’ll suit his little face.” Lily added, leaning her head on James’ shoulder. Harry was resting on her hip, his big eyes hidden behind glasses as he stared at the new addition as well.

“He’s perfect, you guys.” Regulus said, trying to blink away the tears that had welled up in his eyes. This was a lot. He never thought this would be in the cards for him. A relationship with his brother? Getting to hold his nephew? He shook his head, as wide green eyes looked up at him, “This is probably dramatic and more of your dad’s style, but I’m pretty sure I’d die for you, petit.” He whispered, one finger tracing over the small fist clutching his shirt.

Letting out a laugh, Remus shook his head, “You and your brother are more alike than you know.”

Regulus looked up, making eye contact with Sirius, “Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.”

[ackerslut]

lost in the citadel (this is how villains are made)

ao3

Two Morties and a Rick stand facing each other at the end of all things.

Morty, the ordinary one, the stolen Morty--because as it stands C-137 isn’t his Rick and the family he’s stealing time with isn’t his family-thinks that maybe this is a beginning.

The beginning.

The start of something that was always going to happen. The splinter in the timelines that they’ve been careening toward for years but have always been brushing off with offhand jokes about serialized adventures and canon adventures.

Or maybe, instead of a horrifying beginning, it is the merciless end after all. The thrilling conclusion in the clusterfuck that is Rick Sanchez’s life, featuring one Morty Smith.

Or maybe they’re all missing the point.

Maybe this story isn’t about a Rick at all.

Morty Smith, dressed in a black jumpsuit and rapidly keying in sequence codes to the terminal beside him, offers Rick a cold glance over his shoulder and it occurs to the other Morty that this story isn’t about C-137 and or even himself.

It’s about a Lost Morty.

Because the thing is the Stolen Morty remembers the other Morty, the Morty who was President but who is now evil, but also maybe a little bit right, and very very Lost.

He remembers him tagging along after Evil Rick- the Rick who may have not been a Rick at all - remembers the expression on his face when he dragged Morty away from his not his never his Rick and the furrow in his brow after everything, before all the Morties got herded away by Ricks.

Something intelligent has always been gleaming behind the surface of this Morty’s eyes, and the ordinary Morty has been a fool to ignore it. He remembers Rick’s warnings of cocky Morties and his own itching trigger finger and how far he’s willing to go when Rick isn’t around or, even worse, how far he’s willing to go when Rick is around, how far Rick pushes him, how far Ricks push their Morties to do things against the shaky moral code they all possess, how much everything hurts so much all the time and how scared and lonely and worried he is all the time-

The Smart Morty, or maybe distinguishing him from other Morties as smart is wrong-because they’re all smart, you can’t be in their family and not have at least a little bit of something upstairs, despite what Ricks say- maybe the word he’s looking for is free , or even tired or maybe calling him Lost Morty was the most correct-

The Morty who’s currently making every Ricks killcount look pathetic turns and calls them “an infinite fucking baby” and the Stolen Morty thinks fucking relatable .

This thought is quickly lost in a barrage of oh shit oh shit oh shit as the Citadel fills with screaming. The place is literally falling apart around them, Ricks and Morties screaming as they try to activate protocol Phoenix, when a piece of the ceiling crumbles and takes C-137 down with it.

The Stolen Morty takes a step toward him, despite his anger, despite the now you’re evil Morty too ringing in his ears, when the Lost Morty turns and says-

- you can come with me and everything comes to a standstill.

Because the stolen Morty understands what the lost Morty is saying.

Just like how every Rick knows each other’s moves and hates each other, because how could they like each other when they don’t even like themselves, and understands each other on a level that no one else ever can--and despises every other Rick for it, like any of them could help it--just like every Rick knows what the other Rick is about to do-

Morty understands what the other Morty is saying.

Infinite fucking baby.

Jackshit, I’m leaving.

That’s what makes me evil.

Now you’re evil Morty too.

Or even,

You guys can’t help it-

Maybe they’re all Lost Morties and this Morty is the only one who can see that.

Except now the Stolen Morty can see it too.

And that realization breaks every foundation the Stolen Morty has, because hasn’t he been lost too for as long as he can remember?

Isn’t he lost and exhausted and hitting rock bottom only to find that there’s another rock bottom waiting for him after that one? Doesn’t he look in the morning every day and see another part of himself chipping away as he becomes more and more compliant to what everyone else wants, to what Rick wants?

Doesn’t he lie on the roof every night, with the stolen cigarettes from under Summer’s mattress, bare heels digging into the rough shingles, hoping that if he inhales enough smoke everything will stay numb when the sun rises and it all starts over again?

Isn’t Morty so so lost?

Two lost Morties and a Rick face each other at the end of the universe, the beginning of something, and the diverging of paths.

The stolen Morty, ordinary Morty, the Morty who keeps fucking up, the Morty who once opened a book and read about abuse cycles and snapped it shut, but has never forgotten but watches his mom stop drinking only to start up again two weeks later, but watches Summer promise to do better but then fall for Rick’s manipulations without fall again and again, but he, himself also keeps crawling back to the people hurting him again and again and again…

This Morty hears the words you could come with me and for the first time in his life sees possibilities.

Every taste of freedom Rick has ever given has been tainted with the knowledge that one of them always comes crawling back to the other. It’s a universal constant, as long as there’s a Rick there must also be a Morty. And usually vice versa, although Morty’s met Rick’s without a Morty. He doesn’t like to think about them.

But now someone stands before him and offers a world where “Rick and” doesn’t proceed a Morty’s existence.

He hears Rick say something about this being the better offer and something about him not having a plan, but there’s a high pitched whine ringing in his ears, breath squeezing tightly in his lungs, a burn like anxiety itching under his skin.

But there’s no time for that because everyone’s dying and Rick’s groaning with pain and the other Morty is about to leave.

Morty has only a split second to make a decision and he-he doesn’t-

He doesn’t know what to do.

There’s a burn in his lungs and a pulse in his ears and the only person in his life who’s even chosen him is in pain and Morty doesn’t even think , suddenly he’s across the room, helping Rick, the Rick that’s hurt him and forced him to hurt over people and won’t stop no matter how many self actualization moments he has or promises he makes to do better, but none of it matters to Morty because, because-

--Rick is dragging him out of bed, rambling loudly- loudly enough to wake the whole family, so Morty shushes him, makes panicked little noises begging him to just quiet down -but then they’re out in the garage and then in Rick’s ship and then they’re zipping through space and Rick won’t tell Morty where they’re going, why he’s dragged Morty out of bed this time, and on a school night again

but then Morty sees it, three orbiting stars going supernova and Rick is saying something about statistical anomalies and epic light shows , but Morty isn’t even listening because now he’s seeing colors he didn’t even know existed and he’s aware his nose is smooshed against the window and he’s fogging the glass, but he doesn’t even care-

-he fails another test and Rick tells him school is wasted on him anyway that not even he’s the kind of stupid that needs the American education system to mold him into a mindless citizen-

-the garage blows up and Morty has glass in his eye and he’s sobbing screeching yelling begging, but then warm, rough hands are on his face and everything goes numb for a second and then the pain is gone -

-Morty watches Rick fuck around the keyboard before sitting down next to him, exhausted because school sucked, school always sucks , but then Rick is guiding his hands toward the keys and saying shit like m-middle c, M-Morty, it’s not that hard , and then they’re pressing keys together and the sound soothes the itch under his skin-

-he’s no stranger to the smell of smoke, but the bar smell has him feeling a particular way, so he steps outside for a moment, just a moment to catch his breath, to quell the nausea in his stomach, but some humanoid creature follows him out and drags him into the ally and just before everything goes wrong , his assailant shrieks and crumbles to the ground and there’s Rick, streetlight silhouetting his furious face-

-he’s sitting in the Principal's office and they can’t get ahold of his mom because she’s at work and who knows where Jerry is and Summer ditched because that what she does now and Morty’s eyes hurt and he’s pretty sure he’s bleeding on top of everything and the sensory overload is just too much he can’t

there’s a hand on his shoulder and a familiar drawl interrupted by belching and suddenly Morty’s being whisked away, he’s in the parking lot, he’s in the ship, someone’s pushing a pair of earplugs into his hands and it’s suddenly, blissfully quiet-

-his knuckles are red and his lip is split and Rick hands him ice cream and says next time punch with y-your two front knuckles, du-dumbass, and then something buzzes in his ears and his skin is healing-

-Rick slings an arm over his shoulder and belches loudly-

-a hand ruffles his hair-

-a voice that is soft sometimes but also yells sometimes and calls him names but also says things like I’m so sorry and I’ll do better and god, M-Morty would you just shut up -

The president Morty does that thing with the curve thingy and the citadel explodes.

____

When the golden light fades away and the crack in the curve slams shut after the other Morty--the smartest Morty, or maybe just the tiredest Morty, the Morty who had finally said enough and used his brain for something other than defending Rick--the Rickest Rick and the Morty who threw his chance at freedom away stand in what’s left of the Citadel.

Morty--possibly the dumbest Morty, the Morty that belongs to Rick C-137, even though this Morty isn’t from dimension C-137, the Morty that keeps getting a shot at getting out , but throwing it all away because at this point he doesn’t know how to exist without a “Rick and” in front of his name--turns in a slow circle, blinking rapidly.

Mortyberg is a little worse for wear, but nowhere near as bad as the rest of the Citadel, which is miles away and crumbling fast. Morty seriously doubts there’s any survivors --not after the clusterfuck that had happened there.

Morty turns back to Rick--not his Rick, but also his Rick--and his eyes lock on what the man has been staring at in horror.

The portal gun is empty.

They are lightyears from any civilization--possibly universes away, because even though Morty can’t really comprehend what the Citadel really is, he’s also fairly certain that it doesn’t exist in any universe besides it’s own--and Rick’s portal gun is empty.

Rick turns and stares at the closing crevice in the stars. Morty follows his gaze.

The tiny sliver of black disappears and so does Morty’s freedom.

He chances a glance at Rick. The man’s eyes are glued to-to-

Morty looks at the other Morties, some of them normal, some of them those terrible, hideous things they saw beneath the citadel, and realizes that it’s just them, just whoever Rick managed to drag to this part of the citadel and anyone fortunate enough to already be here.

He thinks he sees a few Ricks too, their Morty’s clinging to them in terror or watching with mild disinterest--cynical, jaded Morty’s, one step ahead of this Morty and yet still ones step behind.

“Well, shit,” Morty hears himself say, lack of stutter almost startling. It’ll come back full force in a minute, he’s sure.

Rick doesn’t say anything, lips thinning with either irritation or panic. Morty can usually tell, but the past hour has shaken him. Possibly shaken both of them.

Another Rick suddenly appears in the terminal that they’re all standing in and Morty’s stolen Rick goes expressionless again. There’s a lot of shouting that goes on, between them, between the other Ricks, and a couple of scared Morties, but this Morty barely registers any of that.

Everything has narrowed down to the other Morty’s voice in his head and the sound of his stolen Rick’s voice in his ear. Angry. Irritated. Worried.

The other Rick smacks a hand to his forehead in exasperation and says something that Morty doesn’t quite catch, but suddenly both Rick’s are practically shrieking at each other and it’s too loud -

Morty flinches away, stumbling into his Rick, who catches him on impulse, not really paying attention. His hand grabs Morty’s upper arm and he rights him, while continuing to throw insults in the other Rick’s direction. Eventually they calm down-although Morty isn’t paying attention enough to know how they actually came to a resolution on...whatever they were fighting about (he should really start paying attention)-and the other Rick sulks off, herding Morties off the terminal and into the streets.

Another Rick comes running- cop Rick-and takes over, gently talking to the Morties and asking them if they needed anything, if they were okay and everything right now between that and the Evil Morty-the Lost Morty- blowing the place up and Rick-Rick-

Everything right now is so surreal Morty distantly entertains the scenario that he might, in fact, have died. Or never come out of those memories.

He lets out a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes so tightly shut that stars burst behind the lids. When he opens them, he’s still standing on the last functioning part of the Citadel, with several Ricks, even more Morties, and no way of getting home.

No way yet.

There is no doubt in Morty’s mind that Rick already has a plan with at least fifty contingencies and contingencies for the contingencies. He is still Rick Sanchez after all, even if eight percent of his personality is a product of trauma.

But when he turns to look at Rick, the man is still staring blankly at the sky, where they had last seen the other Morty disappear.

His grip on Morty’s shoulder tightens.

____

It takes all of three hours to figure out that every Rick here has a plan, and not every plan really gets along with the others.

Morty’s Rick clearly has the best idea-and he’s not just saying that because he’s biased, he’s not - but it’s going to take a hell of a lot to convince the other Ricks, so Morty takes his exit when the fighting starts and finds a back alley to hunker down in.

There are much nicer places in Mortyberg to hang out in, he’s sure, but there’s also less chance a Rick will stumble across him or, even worse, his Rick.

He really just needs a moment to himself.

There’s a dumpster lying in the middle of the path, upended onto its side in the chaos, so Morty hops on top of it and sits, with his feet dangling over the edge.

Despite being the master of compartmentalization, Morty’s hardly been able to focus.

He and Rick often liked to joke about twenty minute adventures and about how cramming so much action into so little time was jarring, but this was the first actual time Morty felt it . Between the memories of someone else’s life- Rick’s life-suddenly dumped into his skull and the President Morty killing eight percent of the Citadel and offering to take Morty with him -

(he’s still not sure if the other Morty was kidding about the toilet thing.)

(he thinks he wasn’t.)

(but what if he was?)

-Morty barely can scramble his own thoughts together, let alone hold a conversation with anyone.

Which is why, naturally his self imposed solitude is quickly interrupted.

Cop Rick pokes his head into the alley and frowns.

“Y-You look like shit, kid,” he says, arms crossed as he approaches.

Morty scowls.

“N-nobody asked you,” he snaps, mirroring Cop Rick in crossing his arms.

“No, I-I mean you-you really look like shit. Christ, does your Rick even feed you?”

When Morty glare deepens, Cop Rick winces reflexively, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, di-did your Rick-was he on the Citadel or-”

Morty groans, already done with this conversation. “My Rick’s fine , he-he’s that asshole revving everyone else up.”

Cop Rick barks a surprised laugh. “Your-your Rick is C-137? Sh-shit, tough break, kid.”

“T-tell me about it,” Morty mumbles, drawing his knees up and looping his arms around them.

The Rick frowns at him for a second before hopping up beside him, letting his legs dangle over the edge next to his. “Wanna talk about it?”

This surprises Morty. This is still a Rick, still a complete asshole who smells like a liquor store and wouldn’t know what tactful was if it hit him in the face, but there’s also something surprisingly sensitive about him.

Morty doesn’t trust the guy--he doesn’t trust anyone , why would he trust a random Rick?--but something in his chest loosens ever so slightly at the almost kind voice.

“Not really,” Morty mumbles, just the same, not really up for getting into the highs and lows of the clusterfuck that was Rick C-137 and the Morty from-from-

Christ, what dimension was Morty even from?

“Wa-wanna grab a bite, then?”

A few moments later finds Morty seated in a diner.

The place is a mess- tables and chairs thrown about in the chaos, but there’s still food in the pantries and freezers, so Morty helps himself to the remaining ice cream in the ice box. It’s the first time he’s eaten since this morning and he’s suddenly ravenous .

“Th-thanks,” Morty says, a few hours later and overfull with gross junk food, as Cop Rick guides him back to where he saw his own Rick last.

He gets a pat on the shoulder in response. “Don’t-don’t worry about it, kid.”

____

Morty takes to wandering around Mortyberg at night.

He thinks it's night, at least. The Citadel didn’t operate in a proper universe, so weather and season were completely artificially generated. Even in this broken off piece of the city, a fake sun still sets, blanketing the place in darkness.

Rick and the few other Ricks who managed to survive are still trying to find a way to create portal fluid. Morty doesn’t think it will take them long. The smartest man in the universe plus twenty more of him means there’s more than enough brain power to go around.

Enough brain power that Morty can keep to himself.

He comes across other Ricks-mostly Cop Rick, which is a relief because he’s the nicest Rick and all the other one’s make him feel weirdly uncomfortable for reasons he can’t quite pinpoint-but mostly it’s just other Morties.

He meets mostly Morties like him-a few dimensions off, or a dimension where Jessica is a guy, or Summer is dating a girl, or Jerry is out of the picture-but there are a few oddities: a lizard Morty, a Morty that hit puberty faster than the rest of them, a Morty with curly curls than the rest of them, and even a Morticia.

He spends time talking to some of them, even realizes that a few are some he knew from before, whether it was from the few times Rick has reluctantly dragged him to the Citadel or the occasional Rick and Morty duo they ran into during adventures.

Most of them are Rickless which is both a terrifying and freeing concept to Morty.

He asks some of them what they’re going to do now.

“O-oh, y-you know. Go to school and j-just be normal now, I-I guess,” one Morty says.

The idea of going back to a regular life-a pre -Rick life, is inconceivable to Morty. Even during times Rick has taken off for weeks at a time to do his own thing or the more recent adventure breakout they had, Morty was still traipsing around the universe(s) getting into trouble.

Morticia squints at him when he asks her. “Wh-what kind of a question i-is that?” she asks, arms crossed.

He shrugs.

She scoffs. “O-obviously Summer and I will figure s-something out.” She shakes her head and walks off, muttering things about dumbass boys and what the fuck does normal even mean .

Morty wonders if it’s weird that out of all the Morties here, he and Morticia have the most in common.

____

Morty begins to have dreams on day three.

They aren’t really dreams. No, they’re memories , memories of that brainscan he’d dumped into his own mind. He doesn’t know how long he’d been out, but he guesses it had been somewhere between ten to twenty minutes, which was ridiculous considering the amount of information he’d taken in.

Most of it had barely registered due to, well, everything .

But now snippets are coming back.

When Rick finds him, sitting on a rooftop, a few nights after the dreams started, he only sighs with vague annoyance before joining him.

With all the Morties scattered across Mortyberg, this Morty is distantly surprised that Rick knows it’s him.

Or maybe he’s not.

“He broke the curve, di-didn’t he,” Morty says, eyes glued to a constellation of stars that might not even be real.

Rick flops onto his back, arms spread.

“So there’s a chance tha-that we can go to places wh-where you aren’t the smartest man in the universe?”

It’s barely a question.

Rick doesn’t respond and Morty doesn’t look at him.

“Wh-which means your chances of finding the Rick that-”

“ Jesus , Morty, I said w-we could stop talking about it.” He doesn’t even sound that mad, but Morty shuts up anyway.

He crosses his arms and lays down on his back too.

The roof he’d chosen to perch on belonged to some restaurant establishment Morty barely remembered the name of. It was mostly flat, but he’d found a section of it that reclined slightly enough that it felt like sitting on the roof at home.

If he closes his eyes, in fact, he can’t even feel the difference.

His fingers itch for a cigarette. He wonders if anyone here has any.

When he opens his eyes, Rick is staring at him. He looks irritated, but not in a M-Morty stop being a du-dumbass way. There’s something else behind it, something watchful and analyzing. He wants to know something, but is too proud to ask.

Whatever. It’s not as if Morty can read his mind.

“H-hey, do y-you think anyone here has any ciggs?”

Rick frowns. “W-what, you smoke now? Christ, I leave you for like-like three weeks and y-you’re developing-”

Morty groans and rolls onto his side, fed up with Rick’s hypocrisy for like. The zillionth time since the man steamrolled into his life and derailed it.

The silence echoes between them, only occasionally broken up by a Rick or sometimes even a Morty in the street shouting or saying things that Morty can’t quite catch. His mind is racing a million miles a minute, and, like usual, he can’t get it to calm the fuck down .

He likes to think of his own energy as a cup. When he’s around his family the cup is about half full. When his parents are fighting-are being loud , are talking about him like he can’t understand them, when they say things like “special” and “different’ and “needs”-it spills over the edges, little trickles down the side. When he’s at school it’s definitely overflowing, his patience and the amount of energy he needs to function around people fluctuate wildly.

When he’s around Rick it’s either empty or overflowing so quickly that he’s ready to throw up from the intensity of it.

Right now it feels like that.

His breath starts to come in sharp gasps, adrenaline shooting through his body for the first time since he and Rick escaped the exploding Citadel. His eyes are on fire and his lungs aren’t working and his skin feels wrong -

Rick lays a hand on his shoulder.

It doesn’t urge him to move over or do anything other than simply rest there.

Morty feels distantly-because anything other than feeling overwhelmed is distant right now-surprised. Usually when he gets like this Rick either yells at him or offers to sedate him.

Or just leaves him alone.

But it wasn’t always like that, was it?

Morty can remember a time, when he’d just turned 13- or was it 14? It’s hard to remember a time before Rick- and his grandpa had come literally crashing back into their lives and suddenly there was someone who understood who said things to his mom like jesus what are they teaching kids there, and ye-yeah Morty’s special, bu-but you don’t have to treat him different, wow, and sure it was all condescending, sure it was just another way for him to insult someone else-

But someone had understood .

This is abusive , Rick had said a few weeks ago.

It feels like forever.

Maybe he had actually understood this time.

Or maybe, one again, Morty has been duped into believing the great lie. That a Rick could change. That his Rick is different.

Jesus, this isn’t even his Rick.

But he’s one sitting next to him and absentmindedly rubbing his thumb into Morty’s shoulder.

It’s nice. Morty closes his eyes, skin soaking up the warmth.

“I don’t regret it,” Morty says softly. He feels Rick startle next to him, but doesn’t roll over. He keeps all of his limbs interlocked together, ankles crossed, arms folded, as if he can keep himself from falling apart.

He squeezes his eyes shut and whispers. “I don’t regret it.”

(Morty wakes up halfway a few hours later when Rick picks him up. He falls back asleep a few minutes later--soothed by the rocking of Rick’s gait and his annoyed g-go back to sleep --but something in his chest settles at it.

Maybe everything’s going to be fine.)

____

Morty doesn’t really know how they did it-he thinks some Rick’s salvaged some tech from the floating remains of the Citadel and did some sci-fi shit to it or whatever-but a week after the curve thingy explodes, Rick and Morty are in a ship, headed home.

“Aw j-jeez, what are we gonna tell Mom?” Morty says, face pressed into the window. His sleep schedule, which is normally fucked, is now completely nonexistent. The ride home was supposed to be for napping, but the ever prevalent anxiety is keeping him awake.

Rick shrugs. “T-tell her whatever you w-want, Morty, I seriously d-doubt she’s gonna care.”

It stings a bit, but it’s true.

Well, maybe not as true anymore. His mom has been much sterner with Rick over dragging Morty and Summer on dangerous adventures of late, but Morty thinks it has more to do with control than actual concern.

Still, it’s doubtful they’ll get more than passing irritation for being away for a week.

A couple of minutes before they reach earth, Rick stops the ship.

He lets the engine idle for a minute, fingers tapping against the steering wheel.

When the silence goes on long enough that Morty is distinctly uncomfortable , he groans and uncurls from his fetal position against the door and blinks bemusedly up at him.

“R-rick?”

“W-we should dial it back for a while,” Rick says. “Maybe go back to s-solo adventures.”

Morty clasps his hands together, twisting them into uncomfortable positions nervously. “I-I don’t know, Rick. It-it seems like wh-when we’re apart things get-they get worse.”

“Y-yeah and you almost di-died like sixty times this week, Morty, I-I don’t think you get a say in w-what’s worse,” Rick sneers.

Morty sighs and looks out the window.

“Rick,” he says, wearily and then cuts himself off.

The man in question glares down at the center console like it personally offended him. “L-look, Morty, you-you may have had a point about not-about not trusting me and-”

“Yeah, okay.”

“-and, wait what.”

“I s-said, okay ,” Morty presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I-I just-we keep doing this, Rick and I-I’m just-”

He sucks in a breath and pulls his hands away. Stares up at Rick with wide eyes and an expression that bleeds emotional vulnerability, but he doesn’t even care anymore because he just threw away every chance at freedom, at a life free from the bullshit that’s so deeply infected in everything he touches, for this man, this guy who can barely even look at him and he’s-he’s-

“I-I’m really tired, okay?” His voice is small. “Can we j-just go home?”

Rick stares at him for a minute before putting the ship back in drive.

The rest of the drive home is silent.

Beth is mad, surprise surprise, but not as mad as she could have been.

Morty lets Rick bare the brunt of it and seeks refuge in his room. It’s a mess, exactly like it was when he left, because Beth isn’t the type to come and clean up after her kids and she’s the only person who’d ever actually walk into his room, except Rick, who doesn’t give a shit.

Morty collapses in bed, intent on sleeping for the next couple of hours or days, when the door creaks open.

It’s Rick. Of course.

He scowls. “W-way to go on having m-my back, M-Moorty,” he says, rolling his eyes in irritation.

Morty rolls his eyes back. “Y-you said that s-she wouldn’t care !” he points an accusatory finger at him.

Rick glares back.

After a moment of prolonged, uncomfortable glaring, Morty looks away. Rick takes this to mean that he won or whatever, because the tension in his shoulder loosens a bit and he flops down on the end of the bed, facedown.

“J-jeez, are y-you having another crisis?” Morty mumbles, tugging the blanket up over his head.

Rick mutters something into the bedding unintelligible so Morty ignores him. Sleep is darkening the edges of his vision anyway.

Before he completely passes out, the door creaks open again.

Everything fades as Beth and Rick start talking.

____

Morty doesn’t think they’re ever going to talk about what happened.

Rick clearly doesn’t care about the other Morty- why would he?- but it’s very clear that he’s upset about....something.

If Morty was to garner a guess it’s because Morty could have left with him.

And he almost had.

He should have.

But no, he hadn’t in the end. He’d chosen to pull Rick up and follow him out of there, instead of taking a deal no other Morty had been offered. And Rick was either mad that he hadn’t or mad that he almost had , and Morty didn’t know how to apologize for either.

It was almost easier in that week when they were stuck on the Citadel because then Rick could take out his ire on other Ricks and Morties or throw all of his energy into solving their predicament.

Now there’s just Morty and the rest of his dysfunctional family.

A whole lot of not talking about it and arguing about other things goes around for a while, with Summer trying to break up the tension by forcing them to go on adventures with her or Beth demanding in hissed whispers that Rick figure it how or whatever because I’m not finding us another therapist.

Morty basically tries to ignore everyone.

Until one night, he’s lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling because insomnia’s a fucking bitch, when he realizes…

Why should he have to avoid Rick?

Why did they have to avoid each other in the first place?

“Y-you know wh-what? The other M-Morty was right, you’re a big fucking baby!” Morty says, bursting into the garage.

Rick looks over his shoulder, eyebrow cocked.

“First-first y-you leave and then you come back and s-suddenly everything’s m-my fault j-just because y-you’re mad that you were wrong about something! It-it isn’t my fault that you figured out y-you’re toxic and don’t know wh-what to do about it!”

Rick looks irritated. “Morty-” he begins, voice already a sneer.

“No, I’m talking right now!” Morty points at him.

Rick crosses his arms and waits.

“I-I don’t regret it, but I should, shouldn’t I? B-because you’re always gonna be a dick and I’m always gonna just be h-here.” Morty swallows, fight suddenly draining out of him. “It’s never gonna change, huh.”

Rick sighs and puts down whatever he was working on. “Look, M-Morty-”

Morty groans, running his hands through his hair. “This blows, can w-we-can we stop? Lets-lets just go watch some interdimensional cable or something.”

Rick drags a hand over his face and looks as tired as Morty feels. “S-so that’s it? We-we’re both fucked up and we’re just gonna go watch tv? Real-real healthy, Morty.”

“Y-yeah, you really can’t call me out on that.” He turns on his heel and makes for the door. Rick catches him before he reaches it.

There’s a pause. Morty doesn’t pull away and Rick doesn’t let go. He just frowns down at Morty for a moment, brow furrowed, that same look in his eyes as that night on the roof. Curious. Analytical.

Then,

“Your mom’s already pissed at us, I-I’m not gonna wake her up.”

Morty blinks. He had maybe forgotten that it was 4am on a Sunday night. “Oh y-yeah.”

Rick’s hand tightens on his shoulder. “But w-we could go out for ice cream.”

Getting ice cream at 4am on a Sunday night isn’t much better than staying up watching tv, but at least Beth wouldn’t lose her shit with them.

Morty smiles. It’s more real and less tired than it’s felt the past couple of months-years even, if he’s being honest.

“Okay,” he says, allowing himself to be herded toward the spaceship.

Once inside, he clicks his seatbelt on and lets his body relax to the sound of the terrible noises the engine makes when it turns over. Rick backs them out and takes off, looking far more at ease than Morty’s seen in a while.

He wishes this could last.

It’s not going to. Of course it’s not. Rick will do something fucked up and Morty will either walk away for a while or continue to be addicted to making the man happy. Their own fucked up little abuse cycle, fueled by shared and separate traumas that neither will admit to, let alone work on.

And still, even knowing-even knowing the shape of the rest of his life, he can’t bring himself to say he made the wrong choice.

He doesn’t regret it.

He can’t bring himself to, because he would go literally insane with it. How could he go on knowing that he threw away the best chance at happiness he’d ever been given?

Morty leans back in the passenger seat and lets Rick’s ramblings and the ambient sounds of the ship wash over him.

It’s the closest thing to peace he has.

____