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please-help-this-little-lesbian · 1 year

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I Miss 2020

I miss 2020. I miss when I pulled up Folklore on Spotify and rediscovered Taylor and freaked out over Evermore and watched Miss Americana and thought Taylor was the greatest person on earth. I miss being ignorant and being able to enjoy her music in peace. I'm no stranger to her controversies (I used to have a blog dedicated to her but deleted it after the Ginny & Georgia fiasco), but somehow I convinced myself to just move on. It was my white privilege I guess, that told me I could still maintain a relationship with her. (Albeit a critical one).

But now?

I just can't. I can't defend her anymore. Taylor's not an idiot. Her team aren't idiots. They know full well who M*tty He*lly is and they don't care. They are, in their good conscience, associating (and in Taylor's case dating) He*ally, a (now) known racist, anti-semite, queerphobe, Islamaphobe, etc. They don't care about who he is. Taylor doesn't care about who he is. She's just in it for herself. And I in good faith cannot continue supporting her. Like, at all. And I feel so lost.

I have multiple of her CDs. She was my top artist on Spotify wrapped last year. I have a fucking CALENDER of her on my wall. She meant a lot to me. Her music means a lot to me. Just last week I was flipping out over Spean Now TV. But how can I listen to it now? How can I still give her my money knowing who she truly is? I can't hide from it anymore.

For those who say this a PR stunt, it's a fucking horrible one. If I were on her team I would have shut this down before it even started. "All press is good press" well sometimes the press isn't worth it. Sometimes it blows up in your face. And I HOPE it blows up in Taylor's face. I hope she regrets this for the rest of her life. Because she should know better! Her team should know better! Shame on them! Taylor, who made a whole documentary about her "stepping into politics" and standing up for minority rights, should know enough that she needs to stick to her word. But she also knows she's a rich white billionaire so IG we know what truly drives her morals.

And for those who say M*tty's just doing a bit or that we should just let her be happy, A) M*tty is a grown-ass man. A grown-ass man does not use bigotry as a "bit" in good conscience. If he thinks it's funny as a bit then he thinks it's funny actually. B) Nobody's happiness is worth more than those who are hurt by it, celebrity or not. Taylor is 33. She knows what she's doing. She sees the controversy. And she's basking in it.

To all the Jewish, Muslim, and POC swifties who are hurting right now, I'm so sorry. You deserve someone better. Your pain is more valid than her money. You have my utmost support.

#if you want suggestions of who to listen to now #i like Halsey and Marina as pop/alt artists!#and Kacey Musgraves and Kelsea Ballerini for country!#ofc they aren't perfect either but at least they aren't Taylor #taylor swift #anti taylor swift #matty healy #anti matty healy #edit: not Halsey since they dated him too apparently

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ughgoaway · 7 months

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under the mistletoe // day 3

content warnings; kissing and probably swearing, I don't remember tbh <3

a/n; okay re-reading this one lowkey killed me... I feel like it's SO cringy and bad??? but it's too late now! despite my self-consciousness, I hope you guys enjoy <3

word count; 2k

(this fic takes place after they have gotten together)

12 days masterlist

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"You're kidding," Matty says with a crestfallen look on his face. Currently, he looked similar to a 10-year-old being told they weren't getting a puppy for Christmas. But Matty would attest that he had it much, much worse.

"Nope!" You say popping the p as you finish. "Matty, it's Christmas. You can only kiss me if we see a mistletoe!”

Matty scoffed at your words, “as if you are going to be able to resist kissing me until we are under the mistletoe, I give it a minimum 2 days before you do those pouty ‘please kiss me lips’ and beg me” he said confidently.

“Pfft. I won't kiss you without mistletoe until Christmas day. You underestimate my stubbornness, my dear” You pat Matty's head consideningly.

“Wanna bet?” he smirks, leaning slightly closer to your face.

You lean closer too, watching Matty’s eyes flick down to your lips the nearer you get, “deal. If I win, you make me breakfast every day next week. And if you win, I'll do the same.” You narrow your eyes at matty, challenging him.

Matty nods quickly, now unabashedly staring at your lips. “One last kiss for luck?” he asks as if he is doing you a favour, rather than yearning for one last kiss.

You teasingly lean in but snap away just before your lips touch, “ah ah ah, no mistletoe. Those are the rules i'm afraid love" You pout at Matty teasingly before spinning on your heels and walking away.

You knew it would be a matter of seconds before he came following, and sure enough, a few seconds later, you heard the sound of footsteps coming behind you into the kitchen.

The water in the kettle is just beginning to boil when you feel a pair of hands sliding over your hips and meeting on your stomach.

Matty's curls tickle your face as he presses his face into your neck, leaving open-mouth kisses at your pulse point and working down your neck. You hum and lean back into him, loving the feeling of his warmth behind you.

His head smoothly slides out from your neck, and his hands slither from your stomach to your waist. He grips and spins you around. Pressing your back onto the kitchen counter with a dizzying pressure. His red kiss-bitten lips were already pouting at you, teasing you. But you were committed. As was Matty.

“C'mon baby, why won't you give your poor boyfriend a kiss?” Matty says, leaning in and pressing kisses to your cheeks. You smile at his actions, seeing right through his sweet facade.

“Oh, I will,” you say, and you've never seen Matty move quicker. He shoots back with wide eyes.

“Really?” Matty was shocked you would fold so easily, sure he'd have a battle on his hands.

You lean close to Matty and brush your noses together, exchanging desperate breaths between the two of you. Softly, you whisper, “Yup, as soon as you catch me under some mistletoe, I’m all yours” You smirk and spin around to finish making your drink.

You hear Matty grumble and shuffle away, annoyed that his pretty boy tactic hadn't worked. But he was gonna catch you. He's determined to win.

///////////

It was a few hours later and suspiciously quiet in the Healy house, you tiptoe around every corner, preparing for Matty to leap out with mistletoe in his hands. The cold concrete on the floor radiates through your feet as you creep through the corridors. You walk past each painting on the wall and, for the first time, really look at a few of them. Matty has interesting taste in art, that's for sure.

As you approach Annie's room, you start to hear hushed voices speaking so you sneak up and listen intently. The warm glow of the light filters into the hall from a crack in the door.

You manage to peek in and see Matty sitting on the floor with Annie standing over him, fiddling with his hair. He has various clips and bows hidden in his curls, Annie having recently fallen in love with playing hairdressers. She will have your hair in her hands as soon as you are within reaching distance.

Most times, he begrudgingly agrees and ends up sitting on the floor with his daughter's hands raking through his curls and carefully placing glitter clips and hairbands. She studies his whole head carefully, thoughtfully placing each item and moving them around until she gets the look she's going for.

Matty once came into the studio with a glittery butterfly clip still caught in his hair, which earned him endless teasing for the whole session.

The teasing continued until the next time Annie came in, she promptly sat Ross down and did nothing but focus on playing with his hair for about 45 minutes. Adam and George were suddenly very happy for their short locks, watching in fits of laughter at Ross’ disgruntled face as Annie placed yet another hair clip in.

So it was a normal sight for you to see, Matty's hair full of accessories and Annie's tongue sticking out with her focused face as she styled him. What you weren't accustomed to was the topic of conversation; you.

“So you know Daddy really likes to kiss y/n?” Matty says, wincing at the pain of Annie tugging particularly hard at one curl to get it to stay in place.

Annie pauses what she is doing before saying, “Yes Daddy it's yucky. But you have to be quiet if im doing your hair. I can't focus!” she says exasperatedly, throwing her hands up dramatically.

“Okay im sorry, baby, but I need your help to play a little trick on her. Do you want to help?” he asks, placing his hands on his daughter's waist and pulling her into his lap.

She fiddles with his curls as she thinks, even using one finger to tap her chin pensively. “Hmm, what would the trick be? Would it make her sad?”

Matty smiles at his daughter's caring nature. It makes his heart happy knowing his two girls love each other so deeply. Knowing the two people he cared most about had such a connection was one of Matty's favourite things.

He knows the way he and you met wasn't the most ideal circumstance, but the connection it gave you with Annie was worth any trouble it caused.

“No sweetheart, in fact, it would make her happy. You know how she smiles after I give her a kiss?” Annie tentatively nods, and Matty continues, “Well there's this thing at Christmas that grown-ups do called mistletoe, and if you go under it together, you have to kiss the other person.”

Annie's face immediately crumples into a disgusted look that has Matty lightly laughing and squeezing her sides, “don't worry, peanut, you won't ever have to do it if you don’t want to.” her face lights back up, and Matty secretly hopes she doesn't participate in the tradition until she's at least 30.

“y/n has said she’ll only kiss me if I catch her under the mistletoe, so I want you to help me surprise her with one. How does that sound?” he looks down at Annie, whose eyes are sparkling with mischief already.

God, she really was his daughter.

She nods excitedly, and Matty starts tickling her all over, telling her all about how fun their secret spy missions are going to be.

You sneak back to the kitchen, grinning to yourself at the idea of Matty roping in his daughter just so he can kiss you. You have to give it to him, he's definitely determined.

Just as you're finishing off some tea for you and Matty, you feel a familiar pair of hands slide around your waist. A wave of deja vu washes over you as they do.

“No ill intentions this time, baby, I swear. Just wanted to touch my girl” Matty says softly into your ear before hugging you properly from the back, putting his head in your neck and breathing in your perfume as he does. He thinks that scent might be the most soothing one in the world.

Matty never told you this, but once he found out what perfume you wear, he bought some for himself. He somehow convinced himself that it wasn't creepy or stalker-like, that he simply liked the smell. But when it wasn't on you, it didn't feel the same. It didn't have the same all-encompassing warmth behind it.

“Well, let’s go cuddle on the sofa, my love. Just no kissing,” you say, leaning back into Matty with your eyes closed in bliss. As you turn in his arms and meet his eyes, you teasingly wag your finger at him. He simply looks at you with enough love to make you dizzy.

The two of you plod your way over to the sofa, clearly ready to relax. As Matty sits down, he lifts his arm for you to wiggle into his side. As you lean your head on his chest and burrow your nose in, you feel him relax, and you audibly sigh. The comfort overtakes you, and you fall asleep burrowed into his side, your tea forgotten once Matty drapes a blanket over you.

////////////

A few hours later, you awake to the sound of rushed whispers and giggles. You keep your eyes closed and try and discern what's happening around you.

“Okay, Annie. Now is the time. Go and get the mistletoe from the kitchen side. And make sure to be really quiet, okay? It's a secret mission, and we want y/n to stay asleep” Matty whispers carefully.

“Okay,” says Annie, trying her best to stay hushed but her excitement can't help but leak into her voice, you hear her small footsteps trailing away and briefly consider getting up and running away.

But now that Matty has roped Annie in, you can't help but let them win. You weren't going to complain about kissing your boyfriend again. Even the past few hours felt like torture, and the loss of the gentle kisses you shared was worse than you imagined.

You had come to learn Matty's way of showing love was stolen touches. If he could stay attached to you, you're sure he would. Every time he passes you, you get a kiss on the crown of your head or a gentle brush on your back.

If you were out with him, his hand would be in yours. But on the odd occasion he couldn't hold your hand fully, he would simply link your pinky fingers together. He needed a reminder that you were there. You were connected to him.

Despite being together for a little while now, every touch still felt electrified to Matty. He went so long without being able to touch you, and now he could do it whenever he wanted.

So he did.

He does it subconsciously. Even in bed he’ll stroke your arm until he falls asleep. And as Annie skulks around the kitchen, he does the same thing, tracing your arm with a featherlight touch.

You hear the pitter-patter of Annie's feet running back in and wait patiently until you feel her standing over you to flutter your eyes open and act shocked. The gasp escapes your lips just as laughter escapes Annies. Matty smiles down at you, too, looking quite proud of himself for his seemingly master plan.

“You didn't even manage to last a day, my love. What a shame. you're going to have to kiss me now” he says, shrugging his shoulders and leaning in.

“Oh you two are cheeky, well if I have to” Your stress on the word only pulls more giggles from Annie and earns you a disparaging head shake from Matty.

You and Matty only share a small peck with Annie there, although you can feel Matty’s tongue poke at your lips instinctively before pulling back for an innocent kiss.

Annie cheers as Matty leans in to hug you, just as you're settling in his arms you feel his hot breath on your neck and hear him whisper, “I knew you were awake that whole time by the way. Just couldn't resist kissing me, hmm?”

You pull back with a smirk and press another kiss to his cheek brazenly, winking at him as you do.

#christmas75 #matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy x you #matty healy x reader #the 1975 fic #teacher au!#might delete this one later...#or at least private it #idkkkkkk

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