#but at least then my mind will be occupied with other things and hopefully i won't have the time to have such pessimistic thoughts

[cheekblush]

feeling very embarrassed about the thinness of my life tonight...

the lonely city: adventures in the art of being alone by olivia laing

[flemingsfreckles]

Replacement Part 2

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Other chapter HERE!

Warnings: none, language, it’s a tiny bit angsty I guess

WC: 2.7k

A/N: I’ve been struggling to write this to say the least… I’ve got certain scenes written, I’m just struggling with making those scenes come together in a fluid way 🤷‍♀️ hopefully things ease up and I’ll be able to get this series rolling

You spent the next day ignoring Jessie’s texts, thankfully not having practice today meant you could avoid Janine’s questions as to why you were being so stand offish to Jessie as well.

However when you did walk into the locker room the following day, there was Janine. You greet her with a smile and a wave and she returns with a cold glance and a whisper of a hello.

“What’s up with you today?” She’s sitting down in her cubby just a few over from yours.

“Why didn't you text back Jessie?” Her voice is hushed despite the locker room being nearly empty. You knew it was coming, you knew Janine would ask.

“I- '' You start to think, you couldn't sit here and tell Janine it's because you wanted nothing to do with her Canadian teammate. You wanted her to go back to London, back to where she wasn't a threat to your playing time, you wanted her anywhere else. Instead you play dumb. “I just, I opened the text late at night, I didn’t want to wake her if she was already asleep, and I guess I forgot to respond in the morning. That's my bad.”

She gives you a questioning look. “Alright, but maybe text her back, I really think you two would get along, I mean you'll meet her today so, forget it whatever.” You give her a nod and find your way over to your locker, noticing the locker next to yours, where Weaver used to be set up, is now empty, Morgan’s name plate is now sitting two lockers away. You ignore it and sit down, starting to change into your practice kit. You change your socks, shorts, and shirt before you make your way around and down the hallway to where all the boots were stored, you grab yours out and turn to head back to your cubby. You hear increased chatter coming from the locker room and when you walk in you see why.

Sinc is standing in the middle of the room holding the shoulders of a shorter player in front of her. You realize Jessie must have arrived given the line of teammates standing in front of her to greet her. You turn your focus back to walking toward your cubby, you sit down and begin unlacing your boots, occupying yourself with them instead of the excitement revolving around the new girl, you’d meet her eventually.

It takes two tries for you to tie your boots comfortably, accidentally pulling way too hard on the laces the first attempt, cutting off the blood circulation to your feet temporarily. As you begin to retie them you see a pair of feet come to stand next to you, facing the empty locker. You feel a bag get set down, you already knew what was happening.

“Hi.” you look up to see Jessie smiling down at you, she's got a hand extended out to you.

You take a second to look at her. You had never met her in person, you’d seen her play before but never been this close to her. She’s smaller than you thought she would be, you knew she wasn’t tall but you now realize that if you stand up her eyes would probably line up with your mouth. She’s got a hat on, her hair is down resting at a length just above her shoulders. The brown of her eyes is lighter than the brown of her hair and her face is covered in freckles. You look down to her big smile, looking at her lips for a moment before snapping out of your thoughts realizing you’ve been sizing up the girl for a little too long.

You reach out your hand, taking hers giving it a shake before you return your focus back to your shoes.

“Hey. Guess this is your cubby now?”

“Uh yeah, I guess they reorganized it for numerical order or whatever, I feel bad they had to shift everyone, I really didn't mind being at the end, it would've been fine. I didn't want to come in here and disturb the system, but the equipment team insisted. I guess it's easier for them, I don't know.” She rambles at you. “Sorry, I don't know why I’m telling you all this.”

You go back to fixing your shoes as Jessie gets ready for practice, you couldn't help but be annoyed by all of your fellow teammates making their way over to Jesies locker, standing conveniently in front of you to talk to her. You listened to them all say how they are looking forward to getting to know her, how they were excited for her to be joining the team, how they were excited for her to be bringing in talent into the midfield, unintentionally insulting you.

As the next few weeks of preseason training went by you could feel your playing time slipping through your fingers. All of those minutes falling into the lap of Jessie.

She was perfect and that pissed you off. You watched her everyday at practice. She was everything you were and also everything you weren’t. She was more tactful than you, she knew more about other players than you, she was faster than you, she rarely made a bad pass, hardly ever missed a pass coming to her, she made clean touches, she was an ideal midfielder.

On top of being a damn good player she was too nice. She was nice to everyone, all the time. It drove you crazy. She was especially nice to you. She would chat with you while you dressed for training, you thought maybe she’d get the hint when you only gave her one to two worded answers and never really initiated a conversation but she didn’t. She’d offer small words of encouragement during practice as well as helping explain what a coach was trying to get across to you, she’d answer questions in meetings and it seemed she always had the right answer.

During her second week, she walked in with Janine, two coffees in her hand before she made her way over to you. She extended her arm and before you could ask her what she was doing she explained for you. “Janine and I stopped for coffee, I figured we’d get you one too, Janine said it was one of your favorite places.”

“Oh, thanks.” You found the interaction a little weird but it was probably Janine’s idea anyway to get you the coffee. You look across the locker room and catch Janine’s eye before raising the cup and shouting her a thanks. You forgot about the surprise coffee incident until a few days later when Jessie brought you a muffin.

She once again stopped in front of where you sat, hand outstretched in your direction with a muffin in her hand. You recognized the muffin, lemon with a blueberry glaze on it. “Uh, Janine mentioned how much you like these when she and I were at the coffee shop a few weeks ago, she said they’re always out and it’s hard to find them, they had them this morning, I remembered so I got it for you.”

You looked from her to the muffin in her hand. The genuineness of her offer was frustrating you, she truly was just being a kind person, but to you it felt manipulative. Like she was trying to somehow get under your skin, into your brain, she brought you treats and coffees, somehow it would lead to your downfall. That’s what ran through your head every time she walked in with something for you.

“What do I owe you?” You reach for your wallet.

“Oh, no, nothing, it’s just a gift.” She shakes the muffin at you, you finally take it from her and she sits down into her cubby next to yours.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.” You place the snack into your cubby for safe keeping, you were definitely going to eat that after practice.

“I just wanted to.” She responds with a smile before changing into her practice gear.

The small gifts didn’t stop. She’d bring you coffee or a snack every once in a while which you politely would accept but you couldn’t fathom why she kept doing it. You couldn’t lie, the more it happened the more genuine your thank yous became, it made you feel a little fuzzy inside when she’d hand it to you and your fingers would brush against each other. As if the two of you could maybe be friends at some point. But then you’d go on the field and that feeling would be gone as she would outperform you again and again. You’d see the coffee cup upon returning to the locker room and suddenly have the urge to throw it out, to not let Jessie continue to think you were friends, you weren’t, she was competition. The cycle of hating her, to being a civil acquaintance for just a little bit before training and then back to hating her on the field continued day in and day out, week after week.

You shouldn’t have been surprised when the first game came around and you found yourself as a substitute. You tried to keep your emotions at bay as Jessie’s name was listed in the position yours typically was. You clenched and unclenched your jaw, trying to ignore the frustration bubbling up. When you walk to your cubby Jessie is already there, getting dressed.

“Hello.” She smiles at you as she changes her shirt. Her tone happy, upbeat, of course she was happy, she was starting.

“Hey.” Your tone was the opposite, monotone, dull, no sense of excitement.

“Are you excited for the game?” Jessie continued on. You just shrug in her direction before putting in headphones and sitting down to put on your socks. “A woman of many words.” Jessie is still smiling at you when you look up at her. “Come on, be excited, it’s the start of the season!” She gently shakes your shoulder before turning away to go talk with Janine. You look across the room and catch Sam’s eye, she raises an eyebrow in your direction and you see her stand up quickly looking down at the ground.

Sam finds her way to your cubby. “What’s up with you?”

“Huh?” You pull a headphone from your ear and look up at her.

“You’re moping, you’re quiet, it’s so obvious you’re not yourself and you haven’t been.” She’s standing one hand on her hip looking down at you. She must’ve noticed the way you looked around the room to all your teammates standing within earshot. “Alright equipment office, let’s go.” She points a finger in the direction of the always empty office.

You follow her in and quickly hop on the desk, grabbing the pen that’s sat on it to begin fidgeting with it.

“Talk to me.” Sam crosses her arms leaning against the door.

“I don’t know.” You shrug, lying straight through your teeth. “Just in a mood, woke up on the wrong side of the bed I guess.”

“Okay, bullshit. I’m not stupid. You’ve been waking up on the wrong side of the bed all pre-season, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know.”

“I think you’re lying. Are you unhappy here? Did something happen in your life? Because you’ve been weird for weeks and I’ve tried, Janine has tried, but you just shrug everyone off, so what gives?”

“Janine’s too busy with her now, I’m surprised she noticed.” You mumble it and you really don’t mean for Sam to hear it but she does. It was true though, you found yourself spending less and less time with Janine. Despite what she had promised you in the car before Jessie’s arrival, you felt replaced. You’d invite her out for a walk, she’d already be with Jessie, she’d invite you to dinner before conveniently mentioning Jessie would be there too. You felt like not only had Jessie come in and taken your spot on the team, she had taken over your spot in Janine’s life.

“Is that what this is all about? Her? Jessie?” Sam makes her way over to you.

You shake your head, it was, but it also wasn’t. It was more about the fact that you were being replaced, not just used as a sub. “I don’t know Sam.”

“I think you do, you just don’t want to say it.”

You throw your hands up toward the door. “It’s so obvious she’s here to replace me.”

“She’s not.” Sam tries to wrap an arm around your shoulder but you stand up before she can. You didn’t need her sympathy or whatever she was trying to do here. You were frustrated, annoyed, she wasn’t helping.

“Don’t lie.”

“I'm not!” Sam tries to explain to you but you don’t want to hear it.

“Hard to argue when she’s starting instead of me today.” Fed up with everyone, you push past Sam back into the locker room, not saying anything to anyone you throw on your warm up shirt and head out to the pitch early just to escape.

The game is relatively uneventful for the first half. You want nothing to do with watching Jessie play but it seems to be all you can do. Your eyes are constantly on her, as if none of your other teammates or the opponents exist. You watch how she effortlessly can make space for herself, how she can make accurate passes barely having to look at the other players, everything she does is clean. She makes an assist just before the half you cheer for a moment, happy to take the lead before a sinking feeling builds in your stomach.

The second half starts with you kicking your feet together as you sat on the bench still. It isn't until 30 minutes remaining that you get told to start warming up and it’s not until 61 minutes that you are standing next to the referee as Jessie’s number is lit up in red and yours is in green. She gives you a high five as you sub on but you don’t listen to the words she says telling you to do well.

You don’t do much for the remaining 29 minutes only getting a few touches, nothing good but also nothing bad. The game ends with a victory and you start walking around the pitch with your teammates.

Jessie finds her way to your side. “You had some nice passes.”

You look at her, feeling as if her comment is almost backhanded. It wasn’t backhanded, Jessie was genuinely complimenting your playing, she meant nothing negative by the comment, you did have some good passes. You just look at her, no smile, no words, nothing.

“You alright?” Jessie presses.

“Look, Jessie, I’m really not interested in talking to you right now.”

You can’t miss the look of confusion, hurt, and sadness across her face. “Oh, okay, I’m sorry.” She stops walking, letting you walk off ahead of her, you continue to walk alone around, signing a few things, taking a few photos but then making your way into the locker room.

You get undressed and shower quickly before coming back to your locker when Jessie walks up. The tension is obvious between the two, she didn’t greet you like normal, she barely acknowledges your existence. You look up to her. She still has a sad expression on her face, she refuses to make eye contact with you as she grabs her stuff and walks away. You notice Janine’s cold stare when she walks past you as you’re headed out of the room your backpack already packed and on your back.

“That was a dick move. She’s just trying to be your friend.”She mutters to you as you pass her. For a second you think about turning around, telling Janine how despite her promise to you that your friendship wouldn’t change, it had, how she had abandoned you the second Jessie showed up. You debate telling her you want nothing to do with Jessie, that you hate her but she’s too damn nice that you can’t outright shoot her down. But you don’t, you keep it in and continue to walk down the hallway. You open up the door to a rainy evening, leaving your head down you pull your hood up and make your way to your car.

[wosoluver]

To undo a mistake

part 2/17 - previous - next

Lena x Bayern player!reader

Lena Oberdorf Masterlist

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

In front of me with her back turned was Lena.

Kissing a girl who had been cheering on from the stands the whole game.

Wearing her jersey too. I wondered if it was the same one I sent back in a box full of her stuff, the week after our last call.

It hurt. Like someone was ripping the last bit of hope you had, that there was a chance she would call one of these days and tell you she made a stupid mistake.

Out of everything that could've happened, that was the one you were least ready for.

Maybe just the fact that the break up was done through the phone, alone, should of raised a big red flag.

Should of raised the awareness that maybe you didn't know her like you thought you did.

That maybe, most likely, she wasn't the girl you fell for.

At that brought up so much anger. At first you kept fighting with yourself. With the feeling in your gut.

Trying to figure out what was going through her mind. And when you couldn't, it turned into you making up excuses for her.

But now reality had sinked in. You had tried so hard to keep this bitter feelings away. But you couldn't anymore.

The worst part in this, was that you had no right to say anything. You couldn't actually blame her for moving on with her life. What you could do, was blame her for being an asshole. And that you did.

You felt so embarrassed in front of your teammates. You wanted earth to swallow you whole.

You pushed it away momentarily though. You didn't want to be that person. Or didn't want them to think you were. The type that would throw away her professionalism because of some fling that happened to not work out.

Like that was more important, than the career you were building. The one thing you were dedicating yourself to, that wouldn't wake up one day and leave you.

You held your feelings in the whole trip back home. The girls didn't dare to talk to you. They saw on your face it wasn't a good idea.

Arriving home you exploded. You let that anger back out. You were red, your head felt like it could burst at any minute and you cried from anger.

You had the next day off. Sundays home were rare. And you thanked the universe. You didn't have to get up early, to get out of bed, to think, to exist.

And Monday rolled around rather quick. You were well rested. And all you wanted was to go training. To occupy your mind and let those cruel feelings out. Could even consider yourself to be excited.

That didn't last too long though.

As soon as you got to the locker room to get ready for the day, coach pulled you a side to talk about your failing performance.

After that sent you straight to the therapist's office. And if you refused, you'd have to sit out next couple of games.

Couldn't risk it.

Going into the waiting area, it was a pain knowing the therapist would only be in, in around 20 minutes and there was still someone else waiting to go in before you.

She gave you a slight tight lip smile as you sat next to her.

You knew her.

She had just arrived to the Bayern.

"Here for an appointment too?" - She asked sympathetic to the look in your face.

"Yep. Poor Performance. You?"

"Injury recovery."

You nodded along. -"The physio's room is the other way." - Immediately receiving a confused face from her.

"I'm joking!" - putting your hands up in defense. As she cracked a sly smile. - "I'm Y/N, we haven't had the chance to meet yet."

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

I sooo excited for this story! Might post another part tonight! Hopefully next part has a little more stuff going on.

Who are we thinking the girl is? Or who do you wish it was?

If you want to support my work, there's a link in my pined post!

Lots of love 🩷

Taglist: @wosos-world

[fedyaxz]

How the BSD men realized that they're in love with you

ft. Chuuya, Kunikida, Nikolai x co-worker! Reader

a/n: happy valentine's and confession day! Please support my fluffruary!!

Nakahara Chuuya

✧ Chuuya would be someone who will admire you from afar.

✧ Every single one of his close friends would notice his concern for you, his soft spot for you, how he would always smile with you, and of course, how much he likes– no loves you.

✧ Even his subordinates see it, seeing how much he cares for you on mission, yet the only ones who were blind enough to not notice were him and you.

✧ Koyou brought it up while they were drinking, but he refused to acknowledge it, it was only normal to care for a close friend... right?

✧ After that night it bothered him every single day to a point where he noticed things that he had never before like how:

- his heart always fluttered when you were near

- his fists clenched tight when someone was flirting w/ you

- his heart ached when he sees you smiling at someone

- his breath fell short when you were close

- his face became red when you showed worry towards him

✧ Maybe he does love you, he slowly started to accept that fact, but he couldn't have you.

✧ He thinks that you're someone who deserves to be with someone better.

✧ However he doesn't think that someone is and can be better than him in terms of loving you.

✧ So he will continue admire you from afar, maybe– no, hopefully he would be able to confess someday and you would reciprocate the feelings that he held for you and only you.

Kunikida Doppo

✧ Kunikida is someone who will be too oblivious and in denial of his liking towards you.

✧ When Yosano brought up the possibility he quickly dismissed it as an absurd thing, ridiculous even.

✧ But that night he couldn't even sleep, the thought that he may be in love with you filled his mind.

✧ In the end, he dismissed it as Yosano just trying to tease him.

✧ He reasoned to himself that you are too far from his ideal spouse.

✧ It bothered him, too much to say the least, and it came to a point where his asked his infamous womanizing partner, Dazai for advice.

✧ Yet his co worker's advice didn't help, or perhaps he refused to admit that fact.

✧ His so called "care" for you is only a disliking towards what happened towards you, that's what he told himself over and over.

✧ But Kunikida is the type to avoid the matter, he would refuse to admit it because that loving or even liking you is like stomping on the ideals he had set for himself.

✧ Maybe one say, he'll realize it but that will certainly be far from now.

Nikolai Gogol

✧ I feel like he knew it, from the very first second you opened up to each other, you occupied his mind.

✧ He would see love as both a key and a shackle.

✧ He'd think of it as a joke at first, a simple prank orchestrated by his heart.

✧ But little by little, he'll think of it as a problem to his future self, wanting to enjoy the things he felt while it lasts.

✧ He would start by looking over you everyday, giving small greetings and "how are you"s.

✧ Then as time passed he would start sending you fresh flowers weekly along with short hand-written messages.

✧ It would continue for ages until he decides to finally confess.

[nartml]

what are your top 3 or 5 favorite naruto x sasuke fanfics? i'd love to get some recommendations!! i've been looking for something new to read but i feel like i always end up re-reading kizuna hikari lol

Rereading Kizuna Hikari is actually the realest thing I've ever heard. Matter of fact, I'm rereading it right now. For the twentieth time. So I totally get it.

Now, I'll be honest that in terms of characterization, no fics do it like the kizunaverse. None. At the very least, I haven't read a single one with such a staggeringly good grasp on every single character, it's insane.

I'd accuse @sasubaeuchithot of secretly being Kishimoto, but I fear that even he wouldn't be as consistently flawless in sasuke and naruto's portrayal, considering how botched the ending and sequel were. (top kh glazer check)

But enough. Let's see.

Every single fic by @kinomiakai is a certified banger. I find their characterization magnificent as well, their modern AUs are unparalleleddddd.

The way they write Sasuke and Naruto is totally believable, even though they obviously aren't 100% in character, which is normal; characters will always be different in AUs, they have lived considerably different lives.

Their only fic that I haven't read is a current WIP, "Two is a Crowd", which is canon-divergent.

Personally waiting for it to be completed, because I've started wayyy too many WIPs and my heart won't take another one.

"Heaven is a place on earth with you" by zephyrous (amorphia) was a lovely two-shot from Sakura's POV, watching sns through the years. I'm personally a sucker for such fics and I remember this one hit the spot.

Check out "i like his eyes", "i hope the encore lasts forever" and "here's to us (here's to love)" by moviekidd826, they were beyond lovely!

"The sun is too bright, it hurts." by waywardfacegarden, can't recommend it enough, I was obsessed when I first read it. I'm a sucker for fics like that.

Lastly, "Lost and Found" by MadeNew is a fic I had read in one sitting. Check out some of their other fics as well, they have quite a few!

I haven't read sns in quite some time, even though they occupy at least 20% of my brain, so I'm probably not the best person to ask for recommendations.

These are only a few of the fics I've bookmarked, but it's been so long since I've read most of them! I remember loving these fics endlessly, which I can't so safely say for my other sns bookmarks.

A lot of rereads are due, I suppose!

Hope you read these and love them like I have, I'd love to know your thoughts on them if you wouldn't mind that sort of thing!

Hopefully I didn't recommend fics that you've already read.

Thanks a lot for the Ask, have a great day!

[mykoreanlove]

Hi gorgeous 💞

I have been binge reading your stories, loved it so much 💖

I hope it's not too much to ask but my birthday is on 14th March so I was wondering if you could write hyunjin (my bias) x f reader (me) x Bang chan (my bias wrecker) smut ff? Both of them dom and they give the reader a birthday gift (surprise me with your writing).

I would really appreciate it 🥺

Bye 👋

Hi cutie - thank you so much for reading and supporting <3 I always get the most hate when I write about Hyunjin, so it's nice to see that you're enjoying my stories.

I wish you a happy birthday, hopefully you get celebrated the way you deserve to be! :)

I'm currently sick in bed but wanted to write something spicy for you, let me know if you liked it.

All the best <3

************************************************************************

A birthday to remember

Hyunjin had frowned three years in a row as he had watched you unravel your birthday presents in an unimpressed manner.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never get it right. Sure, you were grateful about all the things he got you, but he knew you well enough to understand that you were smiling out of politeness, rather than pure and utter joy. 

Your boyfriend knew you like the back of his hands; he was more than acquainted with the way you threw your head back and tried to hide the little creases that formed next to your eyes when you were laughing wholeheartedly. He was familiar with how your eyes shined brightly or how your whole body vibrated with energy when you were deeply happy.

Unfortunately, his birthday presents had never gotten that reaction out of you.

This time however, he vowed to find the right gift for you. The perfect present that would sweep you off your feet.

That was his plan at least.

It was a late night at the company office and Hyunjin was dancing with his band mates, practicing for the upcoming tour. He messed up a lot of steps as his mind was too occupied with you. In his bag was a very expensive piece of jewelry, one that he had handcrafted himself, but he was still bothered by the thought of you not liking it. 

He took a glance at the clock on the wall - it was nearly midnight which meant it was your birthday in a couple of minutes. 

„Guys, let’s stop for tonight.“

Chan shut off the music and replied to some mails on his laptop while the others got up and left.

„Oh hey, y/n.“, Felix greeted cheerily on his way out.

Hyunjin shot up panicked, looking at you frantically.

„Babe, what are you doing here?“ 

You entered the practice room and shut the door behind you, laughing shyly. 

„Always happy to see you, too, my lovely boyfriend.“ 

You stuck out your tongue and walked towards him, hugging him tightly.

„Babe, I’m all sweaty. And besides, didn’t we agree to spend your birthday starting tomorrow morning? I had it all planned out…“, he whined.

You chuckled as you kissed his adorable pout, reassuring him.

„I couldn’t stand away from you, Jinnie. Are you mad?“

„Of course not, baby.“, he mumbled while kissing you. 

Your make-out session got interrupted by Chan who was clearing his throat.

„Y/N, hi. Always great to see you. Listen, Hyunjin promised to help me out with my workout since Changbin had already left. Can I borrow him for a second?“

You shrugged your shoulders and took a seat on the couch.

„Be my guest, Chan.“ 

Chan got on his back and started working on his abs while Hyunjin was monitoring his movements.

You were so entranced by watching them, Chan in particular. You always had a soft spot for him - sometimes even fantasizing about being fucked by him. You were in love with Hyunjin, oh you absolutely were, but sometimes you couldn’t help but lust after Chan’s broad shoulders and fantasize about licking his abs.

Sweat was building on his temples as he was working hard. 

Suddenly, you felt hot, licking your lips, and imagining what it would be like to be trapped underneath him with his sweat dropping on to you. Your gaze switched to your boyfriend who was holding him in place firmly and suddenly you imagined being trapped between both of them, held in place by one while the other was fucking you into oblivion.

You squeezed your legs, totally unaware of the fact that Hyunjin was watching you through the mirror.

He on the other hand smirked smugly, suddenly realizing what would make the perfect birthday present for you.

„Hyung, can you do the rest by yourself? There’s something I have to do.“, Hyunjin whispered. 

„Eh? Oh sure, go ahead.“ 

Hyunjin got up and walked over to you, grabbing you by your wrist and ushering you out of the room. 

„Where are we going?“

„Shut up and follow me.“, he hissed at you.

The heat in your body started to rise, spreading through every cell of your being.

Hyunjin was the most romantic and caring man you had ever dated unless it came to sex - he was an absolute asshole when it came to sex.

And you loved it. 

He was degrading, he was mean, he was everything that would make you cry under normal circumstances but being treated like that while he had his dick shoved into you?

Priceless.

He pushed you into the shower room, closing the door behind him. You stood still and waited for his command, automatically falling into the role of the submissive one.

He walked over to the other side of the room and leaned against the cold sink while watching you. 

„Take it all off.“, he said sternly. 

You started undressing, silently slipping out of the flower dress you were wearing. You stood before him in nothing but red lingerie. 

„I said take it all off.“, he hissed annoyed. 

Your fingers went behind your back and unclasped your bra, throwing it in the next corner while looking at him obediently. 

Hyunjin watched you with eyes that were filled with darkness and desire, while you were slipping your fingers into your lacy panties, sliding them off. 

He uncrossed his arms and propped himself on the sink, taking you all in. Even though it was your birthday he felt like the luckiest guy on the planet. 

„Come here.“, he commanded. 

You made your way over to him, excited about what was to come. 

„Get on your knees.“

You did as he said and kneeled before him, suddenly painfully aware of the cold surroundings. Instinctively, you fumbled with his pants, but he slapped away your hand.

„Did I say you could?“

You shook your head in shame. Hyunjin grabbed your chin forcefully and tilted your head, looking into your eyes strongly.

„Listen, brat. Did I say you could?“ 

„No...No…“, you stuttered.

„No what?“

„No, Mr. Hwang.“, you replied hastily. 

Hyunjin let go of you, slightly content as he watched you cowering in front of him.

„Now, tell me what you want.“

„I want you.“, you whispered silently.

Hyunjin walked behind you and tied your silky hair into a ponytail while repeating his question.

„Couldn’t hear you.“, he whispered into your ear.

„I want you.“, you said proudly.

He yanked your hair back, pulling at your ponytail.

„I want you what?“

„I want you, Mr. Hwang. I want you, Mr. Hwang, sir.“, you explained hastily. 

He let go of you as he cooed into your ear.

„Good girl.“

He had not even started yet, and you felt yourself leaking already. 

Hyunjin went back to the sink and positioned himself in front of you. He pulled down his pants, giving away his enormous erection. 

You gasped at the sight - he still had the same effect on you. 

„Tell me what you want to do to me. Now.“, he commanded sternly. 

You gulped, trying to hold yourself back.

„Touch you. Kiss your cock. Lick it. Suck on it. Make you cum. On me. In me. Swallow it all. I really want to, Mr. Hwang.“

You looked up at him shyly, waiting for his sign to proceed. However, you didn’t notice his green light as you were admiring his ethereal beauty. God, he was beyond beautiful. Your hands wandered to his shaft greedily, tracing along the veins of his cock. Silver pre-cum was glistening on his tip, getting all your attention. You felt his hand slap your cheek as you were about to suck him off. 

You shot back, touching the reddened, tingling area. 

„Did I say you could?“

You shook your head hastily. 

„No. No, you didn’t. I am sorry, Mr. Hwang.“

He smirked devilishly.

„Oh, you will be, baby. You will be.“

You approached him again, placing your hands flat on his thighs.

„May I suck you off, Mr. Hwang?“

You could have sworn his dick got harder hearing you talk like that. His eyes were piercing through you by now.

„You really want to, huh?“

„Yes, Mr. Hwang. Please let me be good for you.“, you begged silently.

„Fine. Be a good girl then.“

Your eyes sparkled at his approval while your lips got to work immediately.

You moaned the sweetest moans while you swallowed him all, he was as tasty as he was gorgeous. Hyunjin knew that he could use you as he pleased, so he did just that.

„Let me fuck your throat, baby.“

He pushed himself into you, harder and faster, which made you whimper and nearly choke on his dick. You were looking at him with tears in your eyes, loving every second of it.

He was breathing heavily while fucking your mouth, the vein on his forehead already popping out. 

„That’s right, baby. Take me like the dirty slut you are. Take all of me.“

It didn’t take long for you to feel the warmth in your throat, tasting his savory cum on your tongue. 

You closed your eyes in enjoyment. You felt your best when he used you like that; when you were of service like that.

Hyunjin patted your head, loving you with all his heart exactly for all that you were.

Naughty and nice.

However, he wasn’t done just yet.

Chan was about to enter the shower room any minute, his workout had to be done by now. And once he entered? He would be greeted with the most perfect ass kneeling on the floor, sucking on his friend’s dick. Who could resist that?

Hyunjin smiled to himself, being utterly proud of his genius plan which would make him boyfriend of the century.

You opened your eyes again as you noticed the door behind you open. Panic flooded your system; you were kneeling butt-naked on the floor with Hyunjin’s dick in your mouth. Would you get in trouble?

“Didn’t expect to see that”, you heard Chan proclaim as he entered the shower room.

You looked up at Hyunjin with panic in your eyes, but he remained calm about it. Smug even. You tried to make sense of the situation, but he reassured you that everything was okay.

“Just enjoy it, baby”, he winked at you.

“Get up”, you heard Chan command.

You glanced one last time at Hyunjin who nodded his head, transferring control over to his hyung.

Shakily, you got on your feet and waited.

“Now turn around.”

Chan’s breath got stuck in his throat as he saw you in your rawest form. He had always thought that you were absolutely beautiful, breath-taking even but every time a thought like that entered his mind, he shut it out. He would never cross boundaries like that but on rare occasions he jerked off to the sound of you being fucked by his friend in the next room.

Chan knew that you thought about him in that way, too, as he had often caught you glaring at him while he was changing clothes or working out. He would have never assumed though that Hyunjin would share you; at least not like that.

“I heard it’s your birthday, y/n?”

You shook your head eagerly.

Chan approached you and whispered into your ear seductively.

“Tell me, baby girl, what do you want then?”

Your head was about to explode – was this really happening? His long fingers traced the soft skin on your collarbones, making his way down to your breasts. Chan circled around your nipples softly but squeezed them forcefully after as you had not replied quickly enough.

“I said what do you want, baby girl?”

“Fuck me.”, you whispered silently.

“Hmm? A bit louder, baby girl.”

“Fuck me!, you boldly proclaimed.

A warm chuckle escaped his lips, making his chest tremble in amusement. He was circling around you, eyeing you like prey.

“I see. Well, how do you want me to pleasure you then?”

He stopped right in front of you and lowered himself to get a good look at your face. Chan was observing every reaction as he asked his next questions.

“Do you want me to eat you out? Do you want me to hit it from the back? Do you want to sit on my face? Do you want to be fucked against the wall? Should I turn on the shower and make you really wet? How do you want it, baby girl?”

Hyunjin was watching with his back to the wall, holding his breath due to the immense suspense. Would you really do this?

You tilted your head up and looked into his eyes daringly.

“I want you to fuck me while I’m bent against the sink…”, you paused for a second. “While Hyunjin is watching us.”

A small gasp escaped his lips; you really wanted this.

Chan smirked and turned to Hyunjin. “Is he okay with this, though?”

You turned around slowly and looked at him beggingly.

“Is this alright, Mr. Hwang?”

God, he would let you do anything if you called him that. Hyunjin nodded, not saying a word.

Chan clapped his hands eagerly. “Let’s go then.”

He walked you over to the sink and stood behind you, admiring your backside once more.

“Mr. Hwang is a very lucky man, baby girl.”

Chan started kissing your neck and went down further, leaving wet kisses all over your body. He started out softly but got more aggressive as he continued, leaving all of you in dark marks.

Neck, shoulders, lower back, ass cheeks, thighs and even shins were marked as his.

You whimpered as his lips touched you – the slow anticipation was killing you.

“What’s that whimper, baby girl? Are you that needy?”

You nodded your head and prepped yourself on the sink; you needed him now.

With a swift motion he glided into you, making you gasp for air. Chan was big, stretching you out in ways you had never been stretched out before.

He thrusted himself into you forcefully and you couldn’t help but moan. Sounds of his hips hitting against your ass filled the room as well. The mirror above the sink was fogged, just as your mind was.

It was all too much.

The hotness in your core. The coldness of the sink. Hyunjin’s curious eyes that were watching. All your fantasies were coming true, and you had no idea how to process this.

Chan didn’t go easy on you.

The first orgasm hit you like a truck; it left you a whimpering mess.

The second orgasm shook you to your core; by now every person in the building must have heard you being deliciously fucked.

The third orgasm however took you out for good; your legs gave in, shaking uncontrollably now.

Chan held you strongly in his embrace, praising you for taking him so well.

His slender fingers collected his cum that was dripping out of you, running down your thighs. He looked at his fingers greedily and turned to Hyunjin, staring at him daringly as he was sucking his fingers. Your boyfriend was too shocked to speak though, simply watching his friend eliminating the evidence of his girl being fucked by another.

Chan turned around and kissed your neck, praising you all the way.

“What a good girl you are, y/n. I’m proud of you, baby girl. You’ll be thinking of this birthday forever, huh?”

You were too exhausted to think, less even speak and drifted off to sleep.

When you awoke you found yourself on the floor of the shower room, lovingly embraced in your boyfriend’s arms. He was gazing at you affectionately, wiping away the sweat on your forehead.

“Hi, baby”, he whispered as you finally woke up.

It took you a moment to realize that the memories of the past hour were indeed real and not some fantasies that you had made up.

“Jinnie, what was that?”, you smiled warmly.

He chuckled amused.

“Your birthday present, baby. Did you finally like it?”

[tieronecrush]

water in your hands

joel miller x f!reader

rating: E (18+ ONLY, MDNI. you will be blocked if you don’t have age/range in your bio)

word count: 9.7k (she's long but hopefully good?)

summary:

You are sick, and you're married, and you might be dyin' But you're holdin' me like water in your hands…

Joel will only end up failing you. You deserve better than him. He needs you to move on, to give him peace of mind. So, he gets married to someone else, to try to force you away. Except he just can’t let you go, and you always come back when he calls. Like a dog with a bird at his door.

warnings: NO USE OF Y/N, cheating (it’s moon song y’all), marriage, age difference (joel is canon age, reader is 20s/30s), use of pet names, discussions of water/drowning, ANGST, hurt/comfort, unprotected sex, fingering, praising, lowkey possessive joel & reader, undefined relationship, alcohol use, mentions of john lennon cause he needs his own warning, joel is messy and selfish

author’s note: this is my first time writing any sort of fiction in literal years, but i couldn’t help but try to write this idea cause i'm a sad girl who wishes joel miller was real! apologies for any typos/errors, i am the actual worst at proofreading (see, my master's diss that i read at least 50 times and still had typos in the submission). any interaction is appreciated <3

PART II HERE

dividers from @saradika

Fresh snow had fallen this morning, wiping away some of the evidence of daily life here in Jackson. The air was biting, you work your sleeves over ungloved hands to keep the chill away, cheeks flushed. Snow crunches under your boots while you rush from your house to work at the Tipsy Bison, Jackson’s bar. Because of course one of the first things restored in the commune, in the middle of the apocalypse, was the one place with all the alcohol. Not that you were complaining, it gave you a job in town that you enjoyed; you got to pass time by being around people and making conversation, something you didn’t get in the small cottage that you occupied by yourself.

Keeping your eyes trained on the ground as you walk, careful to watch out for patches of ice, you only look up when you hear your name called. It’s the familiar voice of your boss; at least, you call him your boss cause he makes your shifts, but he hates to feel any sort of claim over the place since, y’know, the whole communist thing.

Tommy Miller stands near the steps up to the bar, clad in his signature look of denim and chambray, denim’s sister (the man wore a Canadian tuxedo nearly every day, you kept a tally). He’s waving you over, and before you can greet him, your attention is pulled from Tommy to the pair standing next to him. 

A man, looking slightly older than Tommy but eerily similar with light grays sprinkled in his brown hair, donning a suede winter coat that was fitted across broad shoulders. His beard was patchy, not covering much of his strong jaw. Hooked nose, syrup brown eyes, olive skin looking pale from the season. There was a scar on his right temple, and other healed injuries dotting around the exposed skin. He’s handsome.

The young girl next to him just reached the man’s shoulders at her full height, bundled up in layers of sweatshirts and an open coat that didn’t look very warm. Her beanie framed her face along with her brown hair, the look on her face one of obvious teenage annoyance. She looked barely fifteen.

Tommy started introductions, barely getting a word out before the mystery man cut him off.

“I’m Joel, Tommy’s older brother. And this is Ellie.” He gestures to the girl and she gives you a nod. Joel removes a glove and extends his hand. You meet halfway, feeling the need to apologize for your cold skin chilling his own much warmer. Work-worn fingers wrap around to meet the skin on the backside of your hand. Your mind wanders to how those hands would feel in other places like -- 

Tommy’s voice breaks up your thoughts, “They’ve been traveling for a few months now to come here to Jackson.”

A smile crosses your face, grip not yet leaving Joel’s. His mouth ticks up slightly to one side.

“Welcome to Jackson, Mr. Miller, and you too, Ellie. It’s nice to put a face to the brother that Tommy’s been telling me stories about.”

“Please, just Joel. And it’s nice to meet you too, I hope he’s only told the good stuff.” Before you can respond, Ellie quips in.

“For months you have refused to tell people your name and now the first pretty girl in this perfect fucking town and you’ve given it twice.” She rolls her eyes so hard they disappear into her skull. Been there, Ellie. The attitude of a teenager is universal, even in the apocalypse.

Joel’s head snaps to Ellie and he grits out under his breath a little too loudly, “Ellie, quit cursing.”

Blush creeps across his face and you note that he didn’t say anything about Ellie knowing he thought you were pretty. Joel breaks eye contact and lets your hand go.

“Alright, hon, we should be on our way. I won’t subject you to any more of my older brother. He’s not much of a conversationalist,” Tommy teases. Joel gives Ellie a run for her money with the intensity of his eye roll.

Waving to the newcomers, you step back to head up the stairs. Out of the corner of your eye, you swear you see Joel take the smallest step towards you, about to follow like a puppy. 

“See you later, boss. Nice to meet you again, Ellie and Joel, enjoy your tour of our perfect fucking town.”

Joel glances back over his shoulder to watch you walk into the swinging doors. Lord, if you could read his thoughts. He knew he was in trouble the moment he saw that damn smile.

The last few weeks have been torture to Joel. He and Ellie had been back in Jackson for about a month now, getting settled in their new normal. However, it wasn’t the lifestyle change that was anguishing him.

He’d thought of you a few times after he’d met you that winter; remembering your smile when Ellie was quietly resting against his back on the horse, a fever dream of you when he was in the basement of that abandoned house, a rush of nerves when Tommy brought him to the bar for the first time since he’d been back. He was infatuated with you, and now that he’s living in the same town as you, it’s gotten worse. Foolish mind daydreams of you and him together, feeling like a teenager again with the way you make his knees weak. He’s been careful not to spend much time alone with you, reminding himself that he shouldn’t let someone like you get involved with someone like him. All he’d do was fail you, fail to give you a good life. Words were carved into his skull at this point:

You’re too broken, too bruised, too scarred, and full of guilt - you’re going to fail her, too..

The small two-bedroom cottage diagonal to his and Ellie’s house was yours, and the proximity wasn’t helping his situation. And not only were you his neighbor, but you worked at the place where Joel spent a good chunk of his free time - the bar. He’d get drinks with Tommy or other guards after a shift, and that evolved to going by himself in hopes to see you and drown his guilt over those hopes (among a lot of other things).

It’s these nights when he’s become a bit looser with his self-inflicted rules around you. He occupies the stool at the end of the bar, stealing glances as you help other customers. His index finger rims the dry glass in front of him. You approach with that same damn smile aimed at him. It’s a dangerous combination along with the liquor, both fuzz his rationality.

“Another one, Mr. Miller?” you nod to his glass, reaching out to take it from him. Soft fingertips brush over his skin, sending a jolt of energy up his arm. 

He clears his throat and answers, “Now, darlin’, I think I told you to call me Joel. Actually, at this point, I think it would be classified as begging. Mr. Miller makes me feel old.”

Throwing your head back with a laugh, the skin of your neck is exposed. His tongue involuntarily wets his lips when he thinks of leaving a mark there.

“Feel old? You are old, Miller,” he fakes offensive, eyebrows raised, “Aw, c’mon Joel, you know I’m just kiddin’. You’ve still got it. That silver fox thing you got goin’ on really does it for women ‘round here.”

He wants to be bold enough to ask if it’s doing anything for you, but instead, he huffs a laugh and shakes his head in disbelief, taking the two fingers of whiskey you poured.

“And how do you know that, darlin’? Haven’t had many offers for courtship since I got here.”

“I work in the bar. Women get drunk and spill their every thought. Including that the new guy with the daughter is hot,” you lean over the edge of the bar top, face less than a foot in front of him. Your eyes shift down to his lips. “Plus, I might encourage the conversation with my own thoughts.”

That smile again, except now it’s more of a smirk. He sips his drink, capturing the lingering alcohol with a lick of his lips. Your eyes go again, watching his tongue.

“I’m glad I can be such a riveting topic of conversation for you, sweetheart. Hope it’s good thoughts only.”

“Wouldn’t say the thoughts I have about you are good, Joel,” he swallows hard hearing the flirtation in your comment, feeling his jeans tighten.

Snapped out of hazy judgment, he resurfaces from the alcoholic tides; the rules he has about you act as a life preserver for him to cling to before getting caught in your rip current.

Joel throws back the rest of his drink, standing from the stool. He needs to get out of here if he wants to keep his promise to himself. Well, not that he wants to, but it’s what’s right. He can’t get you involved with his broken self. Your face drops slightly at the sight of him leaving, and part of him wants to lean over the bar to grab your face and kiss you hard in reassurance that he has the same kind of thoughts. But he can’t.

So he wishes you goodnight and walks home, angry with himself for nearly crossing the line. But he can’t help but think of your smile, and those flirty comments, as he tries to fall asleep.

You’re wide awake. Every time you close your eyes, your brain starts looping your conversation with Joel. Fingers rub circles in your temples, cursing to yourself as you get the replay of his extremely quick exit after you’d said you have…not so good thoughts about him.

The only indication you’d gotten from him that he felt any type of way toward you is his periodic visits to the bar on his own, spending the night chatting and laughing with you. You’d sometimes find yourself meeting his stare when you’d see each other across the street from your porches or in town.

But he’d never made a move, hell the most he’d touch you was to take a glass of whiskey or beer bottle from you. So why did you think he would suddenly reciprocate when you’d made openly flirty comments?

You needed some air. Just to clear your head of this embarrassing play-by-play. You pull yourself to stand and grab the sweatshirt at the end of your bed before heading out.

Jackson had the sort of late spring, early summer climate that happened to be your favorite. Warm, mildly humid days that brought the colors back after winter, and chillier nights, the right temperature to keep your cotton sleeping shorts on and add an extra layer up top to keep you warm.

Without thinking, you started towards the old barn on the edge of the residential area. The structure had seen better days, mostly used for storage now, but the open field behind it had an incredible view of the sky at night. It was a place you loved to go when that deep, dull ache in your chest wouldn’t quit.

Gravel crunches softly under your feet, small pebbles slip out from under your soles with each step. Not remotely focused on what’s in front of you, it comes as a surprise when hands land on your biceps. Your knee-jerk reaction is to scream, but as you look from the ground to the person grabbing you, the sound dies in your throat when you meet chestnut eyes.

“Jesus, Joel, you scared the shit out of me! Hasn’t anyone told you, you can’t just go grabbing women at night? Well, at any time of the day, really.” Your voice is rasped into a whisper despite the fact that there’s not a soul around.

“Maybe you should be paying a bit more attention to your surroundings when you’re walking by yourself at night, sweetheart” Joel counters, mouth ticking up to the side as his drawl continues, “Don’t know who’s lurking in the shadows in little ol’ Jackson.”

“You’re apparently the only person lurking, and you’re not doing a very good job since you just came right up to me.”

“Couldn’t help myself, I guess. What’re you doin’ out here at this hour?”

Heat burns under the surface of your skin when Joel drops his hands from your arms, the sensation radiating throughout the rest of your body. “Couldn’t sleep. I was gonna go sit out in the field behind the barn for a bit, admire the moon.”

He lights up with the first genuine smile you’ve seen from him. He has the best poker face out of anyone you know, but a part of you hopes that he feels like he doesn’t need it around you.

“Mind if I join ya, darlin’? Might be nice to stargaze a bit.”

You have to hold back from nodding frantically, attempting to play it off as if you’re weighing your options, “I don’t mind at all. You can teach me about the stars.”

The walk over is quiet but comfortable. At the shabby split-rail fence, you lift your foot to the lowest rail and push off the ground to mount the barrier. Joel’s hand meets the small of your back to hold you steady. Heat emanates from the spot, fingertips brushing your sweatshirt. His warmth leaves you as you make it over, watching as he easily clears the fencing with one smooth movement.

“Any spot in particular?”

As an answer, you grab Joel’s hand. Nerves bubble in your stomach, two steps ahead with your arm outstretched behind. His larger strides are quick to close the gap, arms between your bodies with palms pressed together. His hand shifts in yours, fingers lacing with yours and curling around the outside of your smaller hand, his thumb skimming back and forth.

Steps slow at a small clearing in the tall, overgrown grass, settling down on the dewy ground. He lays back with you, not focusing on the stars right away. His eyes are a cooler shade in the moonlight, yet no warmth is lost in the way he looks as if he’d been waiting for this moment.

Suddenly aware of yourself under his stare, you lightly clear your throat and turn toward the sky. “Do you know a lot about astronomy? I never got to learn much, other than my brother teaching me how to find the north star to navigate.”

Joel’s attention moves to the stars, his voice coming out lower and softer than in the daylight, “I used to know a lot more. Did a lot of camping before and learned to find the major constellations. Taught Ellie some of ‘em, and now she’s got a few books on astronomy. She kept saying how she wanted to fly, go to space or the moon like Sally Ride.”

“She’d be a pretty badass astronaut.”

He laughs softly, nodding before his expression settles into one of reminiscence and guilt all muddled together.

“You’re not wrong,” he pauses shortly before continuing, “But, I think I can still remember most of the constellations. What’s that thing called where you’re assigned one when you’re born?”

“Astrology?”

“That’s it. I know where my constellation is. I’m a Libra, whatever that means.”

Joel lifts your joined hands, his index fingers extended as he traces out the shape of scales in the corner of the sky.

Pulling the limited memories you have from the book you’d found sitting on a shelf at home, you follow Joel’s finger, “Libras are supposed to be balanced, that’s the whole scales thing, I guess. And impartial, but sometimes indecisive. Oh, and charming.”

Joel nestles your hands back on the ground. “Balanced, impartial, and indecisive? Sounds a lil’ vague, darlin’. Not sure I’m believin’ the stars can tell you about your personality.”

“Well, they got the charming part right about you. You’re certainly a Southern gentleman, got ladies swooning left and right.”

“Nah, I don’t even notice ‘em. Too busy focused on someone I’m pretty charmed by myself.”

You let go of Joel’s hand, turning onto your side to face him. He mirrors you, and you take the chance to lean in. Lips touch together with a brush, breaths fanning over both of your faces as you wait for his response.

Joel sits up, weight resting on his elbow. Broad shoulders lean over to shift you onto your back, rich eyes never leaving you. His touch is confident, a large hand fully cups the side of your face. Fingers sprawl along your jaw, thumb on your cheekbone. His frame leans further over yours, lips hovering as his voice breaks the moment of silence in a rasp, “This okay?”

Your voice thick with anticipation answers, “Yes.”

His kiss sends ripples of tension over your body. Fingers curl into the fabric of his sleeves, feet press into the dewy earth, chest tightens with quickened beating, lips match his depth. He tastes minty from toothpaste, mixed with notes of the Tennessee whiskey he orders. It’s intoxicating, reminders of him to seep into your daily life.

Joel brings you closer with a hand in your hair. His tongue traces your lips, parting them to let him in. When his fingers leave the crown of your head, his touch floats over your body, caressing your waist, sprawling under your breast, and jumping to your exposed thigh. He’s pressing your skin back against your body as if you were going to flow out from under him.

His frame shifts over you, pulling him away and breaths mix from open-mouth exhales. Legs open and hands find purchase on his expansive shoulders, heat pooling at your center when his knees settle between yours.

“You’re so beautiful, darlin’,” Joel’s earthy tone sighs, his hands moving along your body with a rumble of satisfaction brewing out of his chest.

His touch surrounds your cheeks as if he was bringing water up to drink from his hands, only your lips are the means to quench his thirst. You moan into the deep kiss, finding a frantic rhythm together. Fingertips dance along his torso to reach the hem of his navy t-shirt.

Hot, humid kisses line your neck to the collar of your sweatshirt. Tugging at the fabric and slipping his hand underneath, you comply to get the material off. Your t-shirt follows in its wake, the chill of the ground and Joel’s touch spreading goosebumps on your skin.

You breathe out a moan at his teeth scraping the curve of your shoulder, hands pulling at his shirt. He follows the silent order, getting the soft cotton over his head.

His hips grind down, arousal flooding your core. Another moan slips at the feeling of Joel’s breath meeting a small peak on your chest, sucking the pebbled skin.

Hips jerk up against his bulge, Joel’s throaty groan cutting into the night.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so soft…”

He gives the same treatment to the opposite breast and large fingers hook in the waistband of your shorts, tugging lightly to ask permission.

“Touch me, please. Wanna feel you…”

Joel’s lips separate from the skin with a pop. Your shorts come off, Joel retaking his place between your velvety thighs.

His eyes worship your body, dark with lust but still harboring a warmth. A slight ache burns in your hips that you completely ignore when his knuckles brush up your covered slit.

There isn’t a single thought in his head that doesn’t revolve around you.

His fingers slide against the last piece of fabric covering you, feeling your wetness through it. Your delicate sounds encourage him, thumb finding your clit and rubbing slow circles. He watches for a moment, eyes catching your face as you whine.

“Joel, please…”

His teasing doesn’t cease. Instead, he removes his thumb from your clit, hooking his finger to pull your panties to the side and exposing your wetness to the chill of the night.

“Gonna have to tell me what you want, darlin’. Not a mind reader…” He grins as you huff out your frustration.

“Please, Jesus Christ, want your fingers inside of me…” you look at him impatiently as you wait for an answer.

Biting his lip to hold back a groan, he pulls your panties off to leave you completely naked under him. His mouth waters, taking you all in as his touch runs up your bent knees.

Two fingers gather your wetness, pressing harder circles into your clit. Your whimpers egg him on, slipping down to tease your entrance with one finger.

“Good girl. ‘M gonna make this pretty pussy come around my fingers.”

With a smirk, one finger slides into you. Moans fill the still air, the tightness of you around his middle finger making him stiffen. A second finger easily joins the first to work you open.

His name is repeated like a prayer when he hooks his fingers on the uptick, searching for that rough patch inside your walls.

“Fuck, Joel, feels so fucking good,” you writhe under his touch, the sight and sound of you falling apart making him ache. He uses the hand resting on your stomach as a temporary fix for himself, a deep moan interrupting the orchestra of your whimpers and wetness. He pulls his hand away from his jeans, the need to feel you come overpowering his own.

He moves in circles around clit while fingers work in and out quicker, wanton moans growing louder and higher in pitch to accompany the sounds of your drenched cunt.

“So tight around my fingers. Feels good, yeah? You gonna come for me, sweet girl?”

The sounds you make in response are lewd, pleasure overtaking you as you rasp out, “Joel, I-I’m-”

“I know, baby. Let it happen.”

His words push you over the edge, fingers nearly pushed out from how hard you clench around them. Moans flood his ears, and all he can focus on is making that feeling last for you.

Soft breaths return when you’ve recovered, hand finding him hard and working your palm. Fingers open his button and fly, shoving the fabric as far down as you can manage.

“You sure, darlin’? We don’t have to, watching you was enough for me.”

You make your way inside his jeans, fingers wrapping around his cock and stroking slowly. He’d never really been one to care about underwear in the middle of the apocalypse, and right now he was thanking his past, lazy self for the lack of barrier. A shudder ripples down his spine, your touch so much better than his own fist.

“‘M sure, baby. Need you inside of me,” he twitches in your loose grip at the request, pushing his pants down just far enough to free himself.

Nails scrape against his scarred chest, a moan escaping you as he guides the head of his cock through your slick before positioning himself at your entrance.

His eyes lock onto where your bodies meet as he enters with a gentle thrust, your nails biting into the skin under his collarbone. He looks for a second at your face, your nod permission for him to move once you’ve adjusted to the stretch. 

He nearly comes at the sight of you taking him fully, your tightness and warmth making the edges of his vision blur. “So, so good, baby…Feels so tight and warm and wet. Perfect, you’re perfect.”

Wetness pools around the base of him and onto the grass below, drenching the sound of skin meeting skin. He watches your eyes screw shut, whimpering as you take every thrust, “Fuck, Joel. Feel so full, ‘m close already.”

His hips work you harder, feeling that taut rope in his gut near its breaking point. One hand leaves your leg held against him, licking his thumb to make quick movements on your clit. His name tumbles from your lips in a high-pitched whine and your head presses back against the ground.

“Come for me, baby.”

Your walls grip him tighter and nearly knock the wind out of his lungs, your back arching off of the grass and nails biting into his shoulders. Eyes open when you settle, clouded and full of pleasure. His thrusts grow sloppy as he chases after his own high.

“Fuck, ‘m close. Feel so damn good.”

“Come for me, please Joel, wanna see you come.”

Your begging snaps that taut feeling in his gut; he quickly pulls out and replaces your warmth with his fist. His chin falls to his chest with a guttural moan as he watches his spend cover your lower stomach, glistening in the soft light. Warmth spreads across his body in a tingle, pleasure clearing his head.

They say drowning is one of the more peaceful ways to go. Once the first few breaths of water fill your lungs, your muscles relax and there’s a warmth that washes over you. Then you pass out and everything goes black. It’s not comfortable, but the tranquility makes it better.

Joel feels like he’s drowned in you, muscles relaxed, warm peace in his chest. His vision is black for a moment, breaths deep in recovery. His eyes adjust to see moonlight flooding your face and body in cool blue. His hands start roaming again, softer this time. Pulling out of you slowly, your whimper meets his small hiss.

He lays you on your side to face him, your form molding like fresh clay.

“You okay?”

Your eyes close contently when his fingers brush your hair from your face, humming, “Fantastic. I wanted that to happen ever since I met you.”

His heart beats quicker at your confession, his mind immediately repeating those words - you’re going to fail her, too.

He only holds you closer in response, and by the time you’re both dressed again and walking back to your street, he knows that he can’t let this continue.

Guilt harbored in his chest over forcing himself to avoid you for weeks after you’d given him exactly what he longed for. He didn’t want you to think that he saw you as a one-night stand, it had felt like more than he wanted to admit, but he couldn’t seek you out to apologize. If he saw you alone, he’d end up doing it all over again. He didn’t regret it. He was just trying to do right by you. Give you space, give you the means to move on before you’d drift too far into the deep end with him.

So he decided to move on himself, try to force your hand into someone else’s if you saw him coupled up. It was cruel, but that’s who he was deep down. Cruel, guilty, undeserving.

He asked Tommy to set him up with someone, and his brother told him about a nice widow who’d been in Jackson since the beginning and had mentioned how cute she thought Joel was. That was enough for him. He asked her out that night.

He’d been dating Heather for a couple of months now. She was pretty, with medium blonde hair and blue eyes. Not much younger than him. Everyone knew they were together, and he assumed that meant you did too. He’d seen you around, eyes never meeting while he walked to his house hand-in-hand with her. He heard rumors of you leaving the Tipsy Bison with a guy in tow a few times, and despite the pang of jealousy that he felt, he kept reminding himself that this was right. You’d fall in love with that guy or someone else, forgetting all about him.

A few months of dating led them to a quick engagement. Joel still couldn’t get you out of his head and took extreme measures to ensure nothing more would happen. They got married in his backyard in a small ceremony. The occasion was lowkey, at the request of Joel. Word spread after the first outing Joel had taken to the market, the silver band on his finger telling everyone what they wanted to know. Each conversation came with congratulations to him and his new wife. He returned them with tight, polite smiles, hiding the oozing guilt that was filling his chest.

Joel had found out that you’d skipped work a few times when Tommy mentioned it in passing on patrol, which was extremely unlike you considering you loved your job. He knew it was because of his marriage.

He tried to bury his worry, telling himself that he was doing the right thing. For him and for you.

Heather had lived her young life with her first husband, she wouldn’t grow to resent him for what he failed to give her. You would move on, as he did, and find some nice guy to settle down with, who could give you what you were looking for. What you deserved.

The worry carried over the day, his brain jumping to worst-case scenarios. He had to make sure you were okay. He would knock on your door to see if you were there. It was the neighborly thing to do.

Joel silently left his bed with his wife sleeping next to him, slipping out the front door in the hours before dawn. He needed to check on you, even if he had to look in through your windows to make sure you were alive. Knuckles lightly rapped on your door, and just as he was nearly about to go find your bedroom window, the door cracked apart from the jamb, and your face was lit by the soft night light.

“What are you doing here?” He can taste the bitterness in your tone.

He swallows down at the toes of his boots, raising both shoulders in a small shrug.

“Tommy said you skipped out on work most of this week. Just wanted to make sure you were alright. That you were alive.” He tries to joke, but your expression remains annoyed.

“Well, I’m fine. Alive. You should probably go, your wife’s at home.”

The door starts to shut, but he quickly grips the edge, rasping out, “I need to talk to you.”

You pause for a second before opening the door. Not waiting for him, you move to sit on your couch. Joel strides over, sitting at the other end and cheating his body towards you curled up in the corner.

 “What do you need to talk about?”

“I need to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have ignored you after that night. Hell, that night shouldn’t have even happened. I got caught up-”

“Do you regret it?”

He thinks about saying yes. It would make everything so much easier. You could hate him, call him an asshole for fucking you and breaking your heart. But he can’t lie to you.

“No. I could never regret it.”

“So why shouldn’t it have happened?”

He sighs, wringing his hands together and resting his elbows on his knees.

“Honestly? I’ve been trying so hard to do right by you, darlin’. You deserve so much more than me. I’m broken, bruised, scarred. I’ve lived an ugly life, and I don’t want to end up giving any part of it to you. I can barely live with myself for the things I’ve done, even if I’ve done them to save my people. I’ve lost so much, and taken all the same. You’re so bright. I see it in that beautiful smile of yours. You deserve someone who can add beauty to your life, to live a long while with you. I can’t do that for you. All I’m going to do is fail you; it’s all I can seem to do these days. So I chose for us, and I moved on, and I hope you can find the same thing.”

After a breath, he feels like he can face you. That confidence crumbles immediately when he sees the tears streaming down your cheeks, the soft sniffle as you wipe your runny nose with your sleeve.

“That’s not true, Joel. You could never fail me because all I ever wanted you to give me was yourself. I love you, Joel. You are someone that can give me a beautiful life. Or could’ve, I guess, but now…” your eyes flick to the band on his left ring finger, “What you did was so fucking selfish, Joel. You couldn’t even have a conversation with me. And no matter how angry I get with you, I still can’t help but fucking love you.”

All he can do is kiss you. He’s spilling every emotion he can’t speak into this kiss. It would be wrong to tell you what you want to hear from him, even if it hurts to keep it inside him. His hands run over your body, gathering you in his arms and guiding you back to your bedroom.

He shouldn’t keep going. He should stop. But the feeling of your lips on his, your soft skin in his hands, and the fact that you love him keep his feet moving down the short hallway.

He can’t give you up. He was in way too deep and he would be damned if he wasn’t going to pull you in with him.

Despite the anger, sadness, and betrayal, your love for him overpowered it all. You needed to show him, to let him go with a searing memory of how you feel.

All of the actions between you two are sloppier than before. Each touch is rougher, grabbing at whatever you can take in the midst of heady kisses. Every movement is filled with unspoken words.

Joel gently pushes you the last few inches onto your bed, kicking off his boots and working at the buttons of his shirt, “Take it all off, baby, don't wanna waste a second.”

You’re only apart for as long as it takes for clothes to be shed. Back against the pillows of your unmade bed, arms pull Joel in and legs spread wide. His weight is supported with one arm, a soft moan exhaled as he bites his mark into your neck. Fingers move through your wetness, circling your clit.

It’s your turn to be selfish, and all you want is for Joel to feel himself inside of you. To remember what it’s like to have you when he goes home. To think about you when he fucks his wife. It feels wrong to want that, but you can’t help but feel a claim over him. The fingers tangled in his hair pull his head from its spot at the curve of your shoulder. You meet his lust-blown eyes and speak your demand.

“Fuck me, please, I need you now.”

Joel groans, fingers ceasing their movement as he questions you, “You sure, darlin’? You ready for me right now?”

“Yes, ‘m ready, please, baby,” you plead with him.

Joel repositions himself upright on his knees between your wide legs, stroking himself to get fully hard. He drags the head of his cock up your slit, coating it with your wetness before he presses the tip inside of you. You feel a tinge of pain as he splits you open, but you whisper for him to keep going.

When he’s completely inside of you, Joel sighs out your name, hands gripping your thighs and bringing one up to wrap around his waist, allowing him to sink further.

“Please, Joel, want it hard…” you whimper out, feeling the sensation of him in your gut. Joel needs no further instructions, pulling back to fuck into you hard and deep.

He watches where your bodies connect, how the drag of his cock swells your cunt. Lip pulled between his teeth, the sight makes his hips snap roughly against yours.

He’s leaving bruises with how tight he’s holding onto you, keeping you from moving up the mattress with the power of his thrusts. You don’t say anything until Joel breaks, fucking you with a possessive drive, “Mine. You’re all mine.”

“Only yours, baby. ‘M only ever gonna be yours.”

“You’re made for me, sweet girl, made to take me. Feel so fucking good, such a perfect pussy.”

You’re relieved when his eyes leave yours as he watches him hit inside you again, tears pricking your eyes from the pain and pleasure pounding through you and the thought that he won’t ever be completely yours.

That stupid piece of metal around his finger burns against the skin of your thigh. It should be a symbol of you, not someone else.

Hurt, anger, and pleasure meld together. Hands move to Joel’s shoulders, using your strength to flip over. His back hits the crumpled pillows at the headboard, sitting up as you straddle him.

“Look so beautiful on top of me, baby,” his chest rises and falls in quick succession, the next inhale sharper as you sink down completely, watching his eyes screw shut and a deep moan vibrate his chest.

“Oh fuck, take what you need, darlin’. Use my cock. I’ll give you whatever you want.”

Your mouth opens to tell him you can’t have what you want most. Because of what he decided for the both of you. Instead, a moan tumbles out, hips starting to roll to work him back to that near-ecstasy feeling. The room is filled with the wet smacks of skin meeting skin mixed with wanton moans. Your movements keep you both near the edge, your head back and eyes closed as you scream Joel’s name. He doesn’t reprimand you for potentially exposing yourselves to the neighbors, only reaching a hand to the back of your neck and pulling you in for a passionate kiss. You can tell he’s close when his feet dig into the mattress, hips under his vice grip. He starts fucking up into you, both of your rhythms meeting to work you higher. One hand leaves his chest to hold the side of his head, forcing him to meet your eyes.

“‘M yours…” you echo his lust-filled words. You need to remind him that at least part of him will always belong to you, that only you can make him feel this good, this loved. That you’re the one who fucks him like this. “Made for you, right? Just for you, baby. No one besides you can make me feel this good, make me come like you can. Ruined me for everyone else.”

“Mhmm, that’s fuckin’ right, darlin’. This pussy’s mine. You belong to me, all to me.” Joel’s thrusts become frantic and you lose your rhythm, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing quick circles.

You come hard, screaming his name again and whining with each thrust after your intense orgasm. Joel’s right behind you, your sounds pushing him over the edge. Warm ropes coat your walls, his husky groan reverberating under your palms pressed to his chest. Your voice can barely reach a whisper when you look at him, fingers moving to tug his hair, “And you belong to me.”

He doesn’t say anything if he even hears you, his skin sticking against yours and his come dripping out of you onto his stomach when you move to lie down. Joel gets up after he steadies his breath to grab a warm cloth from the bathroom to clean you up. He crawls back into bed, slipping under the covers after tossing the dirty washcloth into the hamper. Your head finds his chest, curling up into his side with his arm wrapping you up. He kisses your forehead as you drift off, feelings of guilt, anger, and love rising from your gut to sit square in your chest.

Cold sheets. That’s what you wake up to. Sitting up in bed, you glance around your room with sleepy eyes, searching for any evidence of Joel.

Nothing. He must’ve left after you fell asleep. You can’t blame him. It definitely wouldn’t look the best if his wife woke up in the morning and he was nowhere to be found. And he couldn’t risk someone seeing him sneak out of yours in the morning light.

You’re remembering your confession that was met with his claim over your body. Your own stupid attempt to make him believe that he belonged only to you, spurred on by his possessive words.

Something on the nightstand catches your eye. A note from Joel:

Meet me at our spot tonight, sweet girl

You met him that night, and nearly every night since then, too. Mostly in that overgrown field behind the barn, sometimes at yours when you craved complete comfort of the couch or bed.

Joel started staying later with you, holding you after the possessive claims he made over you like a prayer. He opened up about his time with Ellie before Jackson, stories about Boston, about Tess. What it was like growing up with Tommy, confessing he loved to sing and play guitar, even wanted to be a singer when he was younger and somehow ended up as a contractor. He even told you about his daughter Sarah, how beautiful and bright she was.

You told him your own story too. Leaving the Chicago QZ with your brother and sister when everything went to shit with FEDRA and the Fireflies. How you lost your sister soon after, bit by a straggling clicker in a gas station you were raiding. How your brother was the one to shoot her when she begged you both. Stories about traveling west with him, how he protected you until the day he died. You were chased by raiders looking to kill you both for your supplies, running through the forest just along the river outside of Jackson. You didn’t know the community was there, but it ended up being your saving grace. Your brother pushed you to run over the bridge, the men finally catching up to him. You couldn’t stop, couldn’t look back. All you could do was scream as you heard a gunshot.

Joel held you as you cried, you comforted him when he needed it. He never told you what happened after he and Ellie left Jackson that first time, he didn’t have to if he didn’t ever want to. These vulnerable moments brought you closer together.

But it was never close enough to stop the cycle he developed of pushing you away after a few weeks together, getting so in his head about the situation, feeling guilty, or getting paranoid if he suspects that Tommy or Maria or his wife are catching on. His abandonment would last a few days or even a week at a time.

And you always wait it out, always come back when he wants you.

Like a dog with a bird at his door, you gave all of yourself to him.

It’s a late night at work for you. Joel parked himself on his usual stool, drinking ‘til last call after his buddies left, something he’d done often in the last few weeks.

Tommy finished restocking the fridges under the counter and tossed you the keys to lock up. As he leaves, he gives Joel a knowing look and you a sympathetic one.

Joel slaps his hands against the bar top, standing when you walk from behind the counter. His steps falter a bit as he gets used to the ground underneath him. Steadying him with an arm around his back, he wraps his own around your shoulders to keep you at his side.

“Let me walk you home, baby.” Words slurs together, eyes half-lidded and glazed over. It would be a bit endearing to see him without his usual stoic persona, but the fact that this is the third night this week that he’s gotten this drunk is concerning.

You end up carrying Joel all the way home, and just when you’re about to get him to his front door, his strength overpowers your own and he pulls you away with him, dragging you two in a drunken stupor down the road.

His steps are heavy and sporadic while he whistles some song in your ear, reaching the field. He flops down into the grass, his arms sneaking around your waist when lay down with him. Joel pulls you in close, kissing you deeply and sighing against your mouth. He smells of whiskey, leather, and musk; all combining to be uniquely Joel.

You couldn’t bring yourself to argue with him about getting home so you let him kiss you, let his hand under your shirt. You listened to him recollecting the night with the patrol guys. The only touches exchanged were his fingertips running up and down your side under your loose t-shirt and your cheek pressed against his denim-covered chest.

He brought up a song that was playing on a record at the bar, John Lennon’s Woman. He reminisced about hearing that song as a young teen for the first time, and telling you how a couple of years later he wrote the lyrics down for his tenth-grade girlfriend, telling her he wrote a poem for her.

“She read it, obviously knowing the song. She crumpled it up, said ‘That’s John Lennon, not you, Joel Miller,” and walked away from me. Needless to say, she broke up with me.”

“Wow, a breakup over plagiarism. Must’ve been a real stickler for academic honesty,” you reply, sending both of you into giggles.

His laugh faded slightly, the wrinkles still showing next to his eyes and his smile lines present, jovially commenting, “You probably barely even know who John Lennon is.”

He laughs but his words made you feel small. He teased you before about the age difference, but for some reason, you couldn’t brush this one off.

“Y’know, I still remember what life was like then.”

His hand finds your chin, tilting your head up with a sigh, “That’s not what I meant, darlin’, you know I was just teasin’. You probably didn’t even know it was John Lennon if you heard one of his songs when you were young, baby.” You sit up quickly, separating from him.

“He was a fucking Beatle! Like the biggest band ever. I might be younger than you, but I’m not stupid. They were around even before you were born, so yeah, I do know who John Lennon is. And did you know he cheated on his first wife, like, a bunch of times and left her for one of those women? Sound familiar, Joel? Actually, probably not, ‘cause you’d never actually admit how you feel about me and leave your wife, even though you love me,” your words come out before you even have a chance to think about them, and as you look at Joel, you can tell he’s letting his anger and annoyance come over him, his expression turning to stone, “I feel like you just see me as some naive girl who doesn’t know anything or hasn’t dealt with shit in this world -”

“You haven’t done nearly a fraction of what I’ve had to do in this world, darlin’, so don’t get started. You are a naive girl. You’ve always had someone to protect you, and I’ve always been the protector. You don’t know nothin’ about losing yourself or having to do the worst possible thing just to save yourself or your people,” his voice is low and unwavering with an intensity you hadn’t heard before. He’s trying to hurt you now, bringing up the protection that you’d been given by your brother before he died to save you, the fact that you’ve always had support from him or the people of Jackson.

Your eyes gloss over, blurring his hunched-over figure. His words are venom seeping through the well-worn cracks in your heart. Curling up into a ball and chin on your kneecaps, pressing down into the bone to keep your lips from trembling. How childish you must look like this. Joel doesn’t move to comfort you, staring a thousand yards ahead, emotionless.

“I know you think I don’t know the guilt or pain or heartbreak that you feel 'cause I’ve been protected for a lot of my life in this world. But being in love with you, being some dirty secret to you, has given me enough guilt, pain, and heartbreak to last for the rest of my life.”

A shaky breath slipped out of your parted lips, untangling your limbs from their locked positions to stand. You turn away, legs carrying you home. You don’t look back, wiping your tears away as quickly as they fall. You’re exhausted from him, from this whirlpool of loving and leaving that he’s pulled you into. A part of you breaks just the slightest bit more, a new piece for you to mend whenever he calls you back.

You should hate Joel. He pulled you in and pushed you away, and all you could do was fall, but now it felt like sinking. And your feet won’t ever touch the bottom.

He’s taken your love willingly, and only given you possessive invocations over your body, only made your constant pain burn hotter. Linen soaked up the tears that were left on your cheeks as you laid down in bed, exhaustion taking over.

The image you see feels warm, blurred around the edges. It was his home, no sign of his wife but evidence of Ellie in the comic book and worn-out sneakers near the chair across the room. Soft strums of a guitar float around, and your sights lock on him at the other end of the couch. You have this feeling that you need to say something to him, but can’t remember for the life of you what it is; the moment overwhelming. He’s singing and playing guitar, unabashed, and with a genuine smile only for you. Tender brown eyes glance away as someone walks into the room. Ellie’s holding a lopsided birthday cake with a few candles lit. It’s decorated with a sloppy frosting drawing of the ocean, a boat on the horizon. It was a reminder of the daydream you had vocalized to Joel, spending a life on the shore in a small sailboat together. The song he was playing softly fades into Happy Birthday, his smile matching Ellie’s. All you hear, before the image fades, is his voice as you lean in to blow out your candles, “Happy birthday, darlin’. I love you.”

The clinking of stacking glasses is the only sound echoing through the empty bar as you and Tommy close out. Joel’s been ignoring you, has been for a couple of weeks after your fight, spending his free time picking up shifts or staying at home with his family. The rag you’re holding moves in circles over the shiny bar top, reflecting your face back to you. You can see the pain in your eyes seeping back after spending the night putting on a face for your customers.

“You don’t need to keep on paintin’ that pretty smile on your face, hon. I hate seein’ you looking like you’re gonna crack your jaw from forcing yourself to look happy,” Tommy sighs, looking over at you while he continues to polish the glass in his hand. “What he’s doing to you, it’s wrong. You deserve to be treated with respect.”

“He wasn’t doin’ anything I wasn’t letting him do. It takes two, Tommy. Think you’d know that with a newborn around,” you try to lighten the mood, kicking yourself for still defending Joel.

“I know. But I also know how you look at him. Like you’ve been drownin’ at sea and he’s the one who’s come along to save you.” You finally look up from your reflection on the bar surface; the shame in your face becomes too much for you.

“At this point, it feels more like he’s the one pulling me under.” 

Tommy sets the glass down and tosses the rag at it. Closing the small space between, he pulls you against his chest, arms around your shoulders. You can’t cry in front of him, embarrassed that he even knows about you and Joel in the first place, let alone that he feels sorry for you. You reciprocate the hug, gingerly wrapping your arms around his torso. The sound of the door swinging echoes in the large room. Tommy let’s you out of his comforting embrace and turns to meet the late patron.

Joel.

He’s standing across the room, eyes moving between his brother and you. He came looking for you, not expecting Tommy to still be closing out the bar with the baby at home. A furrowed brow creases lines between those soft, guilt-ridden brown eyes. The same look he’s had every time he’s shown up at your door at 2 AM to apologize, kiss you, show you how much he needs you. You fall every time, wanting to be his comfort, his relief. His lighthouse in the storm of remorse he’s constantly battling. Loyal to a fault.

At this moment, you wish for a wave to pull you under and sweep you into the tide.

Tommy asked him to wait outside.

Asked is generous. More like, grabbed Joel by the collar and dragged him outside like a scolded puppy, pointing his finger and giving him a strong, “Stay.”

He did as he was told, leaning against the post at the top of the stairs. Arms crossed over his chest and anxiously tapping his foot against the wood porch.

Both you and Tommy left at the same time. Joel would be knocked out on the spot if Tommy had his way, judging by the look on his face. The younger Miller wished you goodnight and you gave him a reassuring nod as you stayed back to face Joel.

Tommy’s out of sight and out of earshot before you break the silence.

“So…why’d you come here? Thought you’d be done with the naive girl.”

Joel raises to his full height, taking a hesitant step toward you. You don’t move away, but he keeps his distance in order to get his thoughts out.

“Darlin’, I’m -” he starts, pausng for a moment to gather his words, “I keep doin’ this, don’t I? Being happy with you, then pushing you away and hurting you. I’m sorry, sweet girl. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t want to fight with you. I shouldn’t have said those things to you, I know what you’ve been through. You’re not naive. You’re mindful, attentive in ways I could never be. I hurt you. I haven’t done this the right way. I haven’t protected you like I should’ve 'cause I couldn’t stay away from you. I’m what you needed saving from and I’ve been too selfish to keep us both from drowning.”

You worry your lip between your teeth as tears gloss over your eyes. He steps closer to you, hands reaching up to cup your face. He’s not sure if you’re going to slip between his fingers, but he’s trying his best to keep you there with him. Tears fall, his thumbs working to wipe them away. Not letting a drop of you to slip away from his touch.

He can see the innerworkings of your brain in your eyes. He knows how to read you; he can see the battle in your head about whether or not he’s saved this time. Your voice is coated in emotion when you finally speak up again, “I’ve heard drowning is actually kind of a peaceful way to go, all things considered. And if it’s going to be with anyone, I’d choose you.”

That damn smile finds its way across your face in spite of your tears, and he can’t help but mirror it. It’s a welcome home for him, the light pulling him into your harbor - safe once again. He leans down to press a soft, tender kiss to your lips, deepening it for a moment when you reciprocate.

His hand finds yours when he pulls away, “Let’s go for a walk, sweet girl.”

Joel leads you away from the bar, walking down your street. You slow down when you get in front of your cottage, moving to walk down your path. He stops you, shaking his head and mouth ticking up in a small smile. His eyebrows are raised in a silent question, asking you to come with him. You fold easily, taking your place next to his side, hands intertwined.

He takes you to your spot where he’s set up a blanket and a couple of flickering lanterns for some light, but not enough to disturb the view of the moon.

“Joel…this is wonderful, I’m - I don’t know what to say, thank you.” Your hand squeezes his and he shrugs the praise off.

“Don’t thank me, baby, I should be doin’ this for you all the time. ‘S what you deserve.”

He’d gotten a couple of strange stares when he’d been walking down the road with a blanket under one arm and the lanterns in his hand. It occurred to him that people would think he was doing it for his wife, that they might ask her about it tomorrow and he’d be in for a line of questioning. But damn the consequences, he needed to do this for you. To give you something.

Joined hands pointing out more constellations he remembers and ones that Ellie knew, having asked her specifically to help him find the one for your zodiac. As the two of you lay on your backs, curled into each other, he’s taken back to the conversation Ellie and him had about their combined dream of a sheep ranch on the moon. Now that dream, at least for him, included you, too.

“I think it’d be nice out there. Without this world, feeling weightless.” He wishes for that down here, to lighten the load on his chest and the guilt on his shoulders. A different life.

You hum in agreement and he continues, “I wish I could just bring the moon down here, to take the weight off us, and to give Ellie the chance to get her dream.”

You’re quiet for a beat before your words wrap him in warmth, “If I could give you the moon, I would.” 

You’d do anything for him, he knows that. And he’d do anything for you.

As those words cross his mind, the ring from his finger burns in his pocket. He’d taken it off to rid you both of the reminder of how this night would end, how every night would end. A little metal circle that has decided your fates, at least for now. His voice is slightly gravelly in his throat as he answers, “Maybe in another life, yeah?”

if you got to the end, i'm giving you a big smooch.

taglist: @swiftispunk (supportive bae)

[abbyromanoff]

GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

PAIRINGS: Natasha Romanoff x reader (parent/child), Wanda Maximoff x reader (parent/child)

WORD COUNT: 1196

WARNINGS: angst, grief, death, WandaNat x child!reader, ghosts, depression, think that’s all!

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!

You were cleaning your room, due to your mom’s late request that you were hurrying to finish. They were both on a mission with their team, it was supposed to be their last one for at least a few years.

The three of you originally had plans for the day, just like every Sunday, but they were called out and left with an apologetic smile and a promise to make it up to you. You weren’t mad at them, more so just at the world for cursing you with Mom’s who always had to put the world before you. You just wanted to be their priority for once.

You understood why they’d have to put the lives of billions before your one, but you just wished their attention didn’t have to go to them as well.

You suddenly heard a voice behind you, jumping and grabbing the pocket knife you always kept on hand and aiming it at the intruder, only to lower it when catching their eye.

“Momma! You’re home!” You ran over to hug the older woman, smiling into her chest as you relaxed in her warmth.

“Hey, kiddo, did I scare ya’?” She chuckled, running her hand through your hair and rubbing your back before patting it, causing you to let go.

“Where’s mom?” You gulped nervously, the fear you had since you were a little girl coming back suddenly. You always worried you’d lose them, especially with the high risks of their job.

“Don’t worry, she’s okay. What, you don’t like spending time with your momma?” You rolled your eyes playfully and moved to sit on the side of your bed, Nat following suit.

“So, does this mean we still get to have girls' day?” You asked hopefully, excitement running through your veins.

“Of course, we do. And because we had to leave so early, how about I buy you that new toy you’ve been begging for?” You groaned in embarrassment, your ears catching up on her short laugh. She loved teasing you, they both did.

“Momma, it’s not a toy, it’s a collectible.”

“Yeah, yeah, same thing.” You basked in the sweet moment you got to share alone with her, but your mind was still occupied by the thought of Wanda. Where was she? Was Nat lying when she said she’s okay? She wouldn’t lie to you, right?

You could then hear a door slowly being opened, a small call of your name being heard. Before you could head out of your room to see who it is, hoping it was your mom, your door received a knock.

“Come in.” A smile broke out on your face when seeing your mom, but it soon disappeared when you saw her saddened expression. You had never seen her so…broken? So hopeless, it worried you.

“Mom? What’s wrong?” You furrowed your brows, too focused on her to notice Nat was no longer sitting where she was before.

“Sweetheart, uhm, I think you should sit down for this.” You did as she told you, turning your head to look at your momma, only to no longer see her.

“Where- where’d she go?” You asked, pointing to her empty spot on the bed.

“Where’d who go, kiddo?” She took a seat in the same place your other mother was just moments ago.

“Momma, she was right here.” Her mouth curled further into a frown, you didn’t think she could do so. Her arm went to wrap around your side, her lips pressing against your forehead as tears pooled down her face.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.” And that was when you knew. That was when you knew that she was gone, your momma was gone and she wasn’t going to return. She was dead, no longer with you or Mom. She left you two alone, not realizing how the two of you couldn’t last without her. It was always the three of you, a sweet, loving family that everyone dreamed of having. You were loved beyond hope by both of them. But now it was only you and mom, your momma’s love for you died with her, and you didn’t know how you’d live with just half of your heart.

Only a week later you had to bury her casket. Your mom had driven you to Ohio where your auntie lived, you only got to meet her once before so seeing her now was a breath of fresh air. Although, no person was able to heal the pain you felt, not even your mom or aunt.

You had always been a Momma’s girl, and as much as you loved Wanda, Nat was always your favorite. But now, here you were, watching her sister say her goodbyes to the gravestone. When it was your turn, you didn’t move.

“Honey? Don’t you want to say goodbye?” You didn’t move, didn’t talk, didn’t even blink, you were blank. There was no emotion on your face besides the tears that had streaked your cheeks. The ride there was the first time it had been so quiet, it sickened you. You had to put your headphones in to ignore the agonizing pain and the deafening silence. You tried being there for your mom, you knew she was feeling a deep amount of pain, but if you couldn’t even be there for yourself, how were you supposed to help her?

“I’m not saying goodbye.” You spoke up after a minute of no response. She looked at you with an apologetic expression, you knew she felt beyond guilty for not being able to save her.

“Y/N, dear, I know it may be hard but…but I think it will be best if you let yourself be in acceptance with her…with her passing.” She struggled to let the words out, the harsh reality being too much for any of you to handle.

“She’s not dead, Mom, she’s still with me.”

“And I’m never leaving you, kiddo.” Nat’s hands placed themselves on your shoulders, her soothing voice bringing you the same sense of comfort it always had. But it wasn’t the same, her touch wasn’t like the one you received for years. It was lighter, less warm, she felt cold. She felt as cold as her emotions, and now as cold as her body.

“What do you- what do you mean, Y/N?” You looked up and turned your head to look at the deceased woman, she was giving you a small smile. You returned it, and that was the only emotion you had shown all week.

“What are you looking at, kid?” Yelena asked from beside you, both of them looking in your eye line to find empty fields. They shared a worried glance but calmed when you finally looked back at them.

“She’s right here with me, Mom.” You knew deep down that at some point you’d have to let her spirit go, but you were too in love with the thought of still having her, no matter how so. You didn’t care about the consequences you may face or troubles you may have, you had your momma. She was dead, but she’d continue to live on in your heart and mind forever.

[skelswritingcorner]

This is a gift for the wonderful @lovenotcomputed, based on the request that she fulfilled. Go check it out, it's wonderfully delicious writing!

Story below the cut because this is a long boi.

Words: 5408 (oopsies)

It hasn’t been long since that giant red… thing took you out of your little makeshift home in those dusty vents and put you in that box. It was pretty big for you, you could lay down with your limbs stretched out in the middle of it and you couldn’t touch the sides. Would’ve been nice if you had a blanket though.

And it would be nice if you weren’t constantly assaulted by bright lights. You could probably get some good sleep. The black-helmeted one with that weird eye thingy was always supervising you, writing on that translucent blue tablet and muttering in a language you didn’t understand. Frequently, the red one would come in and look at you, talk to the other one, then leave. It happened at least five times.

Perceptor observed the human as they sat in the ventilator chamber, writing notes on his datapad about their vitals and behaviors. He already checked the blood, there was no evidence of them having any sort of bacteria or virus. However, the human coughed several times. Whatever affliction the human has requires a scan of their vents. Probably best to go get one of the medics, either Ratchet or First Aid.

The door to the lab opened, and Rodimus walked in. Perceptor turned to the mech, who briskly walked to the ventilator with the human inside.

“So, is the human alright?” Rodimus asked, optics flickering between Perceptor and the human.

“The bloodwork showed no signs of any afflictions. However, the human likely has some kind of chronic condition that affects their vents.” Perceptor answered.

The captain winced. He already planned on keeping the human, but learning that the human has a chronic condition makes him feel more justified in adopting them. Someone needs to make sure they’re doing alright!

Perceptor looked back at the human, who was blankly staring from their ventilator. “I plan on asking Ratchet or First Aid to help do a more thorough checkup on the human, see if we can do a scan of their vents. We might need to sedate the human, based on their previous behavior.”

“Also,” Perceptor checked his datapad once more, “we need to get the human stuff they can eat. I doubt we currently have anything safe for them to consume right now.”

Rodimus’s optics widened, “Primus, I forgot! We’ll have to stop the ship somewhere that has supplies for humans. And the Lost Light isn’t exactly made with those their size in mind.”

“Correct.” Perceptor nodded, “I’ll open a comm link with First Aid, see if he has something that could be used for the human. I’m sure they might feel a bit cold.”

Rodimus nodded, “I’ll ask Swerve about what possible supplies we need, he knows a lot about human culture, more than anyone else on the ship.” He left the lab, leaving Perceptor alone with the human.

Perceptor leaned forward, noticing purple half-circles under the human’s optics. They must be exhausted. Guess the exams will need to be done another cycle.

He opened his comm link to First Aid, “First Aid, do we know if we have any human supplies on this ship? Something that could be used as a blanket? The presence in the ventilation system Rodimus was complaining about was a human. I put them in a ventilation chamber right now, but they might be too exhausted for any exams. I’ll tell you more once you get to my lab.”

“I’ll see if I find something.” First Aid replied. Now, all Perceptor had to do was wait. He cleaned around his lab, mostly as a way to keep his servos occupied.

After a bit of time, the door opened to First Aid holding a cloth in his servo. “I had to ask Ratchet since I don’t have experience with humans, but hopefully this should do.”

Perceptor nodded, opening the lid to the ventilation chamber “Hopefully, it will.”

First Aid walked up to the ventilator, placing the cloth down. They grabbed it with their smaller servos, tugging it. First Aid let go of the cloth. The human investigated it, then started setting it up in their temporary home.

“How long do you think you’ll leave the human in there?” First Aid turned to Perceptor.

Perceptor put a servo on his chin, “They’ve been in the vents for a long time, after they do a recharge I’ll see if we can make a temporary bed for them.”

“I’ll ask the Captains if we can make an emergency stop, then. Hopefully, we can get all the things necessary for the human to be comfortable. I’ll see you later.” First Aid left the laboratory with a wave.

Perceptor turned back to the human, closing the ventilator once more. “Rest now, little human.” he turned off the lights, then left the room.

A different red one came into view, holding something in their white hands that you recognized as some kind of cloth. The two talked for a bit, then the one that put you in the box in the first place opened up the top. Unfortunately, the opening was too high up for you to try and escape, so you waited for what was going to happen.

The white hand with red fingers lowered the bedding to you, which you grabbed with a small tug. After they let go, you investigated the bedding. No pillow, but it was a pretty large blanket. Turning to the two strange beings, you just nodded and started setting up the blanket in your little jail. As you were doing your thing, the two talked to each other.

After the red robot left, the black-helmeted one said some words to you. You didn’t recognize it, but after that they turned the light off and left the room. Guess this is a good time to sleep. Wrapping yourself in the blanket, you fell asleep.

[wandasmistress]

Trapped

Requests (2)- A bottom!Natasha x Reader where Natasha and the reader are heading to a mission spot and while they’re in the quinjet R is eating out and fingering Natasha + Bottom!Natasha x reader where they have sex on a mission

Synopsis- Steve shouldn’t have tricked you into going on missions causing Natasha to miss you dearly, but once you’re back for good there is always time to make up for what was lost.

Pairings- Bottom!Natasha Romanoff x Top!Reader

Warnings- 18+ Content, and Steve?

Word Count- 4k

A/N- I’ve been really inactive for the past few months but I feel that I have got my motivation back to write so hopefully I can start to put out more stories :)

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Your body was exhausted to stay the least, it was a mistake for you to sign up for quick missions, a big mistake. The need to always be in non-stop action to rid yourself of growing daily boredom was prominent within you. You didn’t mind all that much because doing missions was something to keep you in check and present in reality, besides one other thing.

Because of that other thing which is a special someone that you dreaded leaving for missions. Each time boarding a quinjet or black decked-out SUV there would be a sorrowful presence looming at the door of the compound’s exit, Natasha. 

When you weren’t on missions she was your constant light throughout your day because with her around you never got bored and always had a fire to keep you lit inside. When she left for a lengthy recon mission months prior you had to do something to keep you entertained for the time being. That happened to be quick missions Steve had encouraged you to sign up for when he saw your lack of life as you stared out the compound’s grand living room window that held a magnificent view of the surrounding wilderness that kept you entranced for the time being while your lover was away.

What Steve “forgot” to mention to you is that if you signed up for quick missions it would be official for eight months, let's just say you almost got into a fight with America’s most beloved. Once you signed with your signature you couldn’t take it back. At first, it was fine for the months when Natasha was gone, you had something to occupy and eat up your time, but when she came back it was a different story. 

You still had four months left on your contract and time seemed to slow down significantly, so to Natasha, it felt like an eternity. Every time she saw you off a piece of her inner happiness chipped away while uncertainty replaced its spot. She was filled with tremendous dread and loneliness during all the nights she spent without you. She longed for your touch every second of the day and especially at night, she yearned for your company so bad it was absurd. 

She had been pestering Steve about taking you off the quick missions but he ignored her advances and excused himself immediately so he wouldn’t receive her raft. Constantly following him around the compound to disrupt his day, in her eyes if she couldn’t get any sort of peace,  why should he? During all the time she had been pestering Steve, it was the end of the eight months; she couldn’t have been more delighted. She was like a kid at a candy store, only a few feet taller, tapping her foot repeatedly against the pavement as she waited to hear the familiar buzz of the incoming quinjet.

Her deep red tresses swayed from the sudden gush of air, a dark shadow cast upon her from the monumental aircraft. The shadow was a stark contrast to the fierce light that was present in her from the thought of finally being able to have you fully.

Stepping off the mechanical quinjet for the first time in hours made you relieved to breathe in the fresh air, smelling blended natural fragrances and a familiar perfume that you knew all too well. It was in a flash and then the next moment you were bombarded with Natasha’s presence. It was hard for you to hug her back with your duffle bags still in your hands but you wasted no time in dropping them and enveloping her in your arms.

She clung onto you as a sloth does to a cecropia tree, her head buried deep in your chest as she took time to fully embrace your presence. You understood her actions because the last time you spent a full day together was two months ago, who knew how many small missions there were out there to be completed.

Natasha brought her head out of your chest and peered up at you. Taking in your wondrous features that she admired staring at during the brink of the night when the moonlight shined just perfectly on your dormant face. She would study you for hours until she fell asleep in your comforting hold with only the thought of you there with her lulling her to sleep.

“Take a picture Nat, it last longer.” You say softly to Natasha as your hands naturally travel towards her hips to hold onto them.

“Oh, shut up.” She lightly chuckled as she gave a gentle slap to your shoulder, “I would take a picture of you but it could never truly capture your beauty.” Her words made your cheeks heat up along with the way she was intensely staring at your face.

“I can tell you missed me because that was cheesy as fuck, but don't worry I forgive you for that cause I missed you too.” She rolled her eyes while letting out a breathy laugh at your response as her hands trailed up your abdomen and around your neck.

She came close to your face causing your breaths to merge, you could practically smell the minty freshness on the cusp of her breath, “But ‘Take a picture it last longer’ isn’t it?” Your mind was too hazed with the thought of her lips on yours to fully understand what she was saying. Leaning forward to catch her lips only for her to back away at the last second making a frown come to your face.

“Such a big baby, don’t worry you're gonna make it up to me with more than just kisses for your absence.” She teases you as she pecks the corners of your mouth then continues to give small kisses all around your face but never your lips which slightly agitates you.

Although, not more than Steve coming to interrupt your moment with Natasha. She instantly got annoyed as he rounded the corner. A glint of sweat can be spotted on his face meaning he ran twenty miles non-stop. 

With a roll of her eyes, Natasha instantly stares down Steve as he walks up to you both, her arms now crossed over her rigid stomach.

Steve awkwardly greets the both of you with a skittish wave as he avoids Natasha’s fierce gaze.

You greet him back satisfactorily, putting your hand on the lower part of Nat’s back to wordlessly communicate with her to acknowledge Steve.

“Steve.” Natasha bluntly replies, showing no ounce of welcome in her tone.

“I hate to say this, but you both need to meet me in the debriefing room. Be there in the next ten minutes.” He says with a militant tone, fleeing towards the door of the compound straight after his assertion.

Natasha made a move to follow him but was stopped by the firm grip on her waist that held her back. When she turned around with lifted eyebrows she was met with your unimpressed face as you rolled your eyes at her abrasive antics.

“I’m off of those little pesky missions now, there's no need to hold any grudges. Help me put away my stuff, yeah?” You softly ask her, reducing your hold on her waist because you trusted her enough to not go after Steve to give him a mouthful.

She shook her head and gave you a small smirk, “Since when did you turn into a peacemaker?” She scoffs slightly in a mischievous manner as she starts striding off.

You give a light chuckle at her words but wrinkle your eyebrows in confusion at her retreating form, “You're not gonna help with my bags?”

She turns around while still strolling with a charming pout on her face and shouts, “My hands are kind of tired from all the stroking they have been doing since someone wasn’t here to do it for me!”

Your face runs cold as her coy pout turns into a naughty grin. You're stuck in a trance at her distant figure and you swear you can see her hips swaying more than they were a few seconds ago. You wasted no time in picking up your duffle bags and catching up with her, she always had a way with words that left you awestruck.

»

You and Natasha had just walked into the debriefing room Steve mentioned and the first thing your wondering eyes spotted was the brown box of your favorite, Dough Doughnuts. Treading straight towards the box of donuts as if your life depended on it; grabbing a plate from the table where the donuts were held to stack some of the pastries.

Helping yourself to multiple thick and doughy donuts put a bright smile on your face, “Help yourself, I got them for you, out of guilt.” Steve murmurs next to you rendering you to jump from the sudden surprise, managing to save your plateful of donuts as you turn towards him with a warm smile on your face.

You thank him genuinely, “although this won’t be enough for me to fully forgive you.” Your words cause him to take in a deep breath as you send him a shallow smile as you move around him and make your way to Natasha sitting at the immense oak oval table.

As you come closer to Nat she makes eye contact with you, her eyes broadening at your approaching figure. When you made it over she raised her right eyebrow as she eyed your plate stacked with donuts. By that time you had already started eating them on the walk over so when you spoke your mouth was full of mushed donuts.

“What? The last time I ate was hours ago.” You reasoned.

Natasha’s resting smirk only grew as she replied, “moya malen'kaya rybka fugu ”

You playfully narrowed your eyes as you took a seat behind her, quickly flashing your mouth full of mixed donuts only for her to swiftly pinch your stomach with a twisted grimace. Quietly chuckling to yourself as you got seated; Steve cleared his throat for both of your attention.

Just as he got attention to start speaking Natasha kicked up her feet on the deep oak conference table with a loud thud followed by a displeased sigh. You had to look away for a moment to contain your laughter, you had yet to ever see her be this petty towards Steve.

“I just wanted to start this meeting to say I never meant to have you sign up for the missions but no one else wanted to, and god knows the shield agents aren’t prepared enough for constant tasks like that. Leading to the point of this gathering, which is a final mission for you both.”

Natasha’s face turned into a passive expression that only Steve could see from his angle; a slight hesitation in his speech from the direct eye contact Natasha had with him.

“Don’t flip your lid Nat, this is a recon mission that should take less than a week. More of a getaway if you ask me, it’s in Madrid, I searched on that engine Googlet and their beaches are said to be nice during this time. The mission file is on the table, have fun ladies.” He declared before he left the room with a clasp of his hands.

There was a few seconds of brief silence until Natasha turned around in the twisty chair with her signature smirk ingrained on her face. She slowly arose from her position in her seat to saunter a few steps and rest herself on your awaiting lap. 

In between the mid-bite of a donut, you stared deep into her eyes, slowly moving the pastry away from your face to deliver a soft peck to her nose. Her face scrunching up in mock disgust as she pinched you on the cheek complaining about the sticky filling that now occupied her nose.

You couldn’t help but not take her words into account as you zoned her words out to only focus on the accentuating features that reeled you into her as a fisherman does to fish. The only thought on your mind was her ethereal beauty, not only did her outer beauty look so magnificent, her inner beauty was millions of times better. Cherishing the moments when her relaxed personality came out because of your presence; the way her face seemed to light up when you were near, and the way you found solace in her viridescent irises.

»

You were standing in the cockpit, leveling the controls of the quinjet to kickstart the autopilot mode so you could catch up on some sleep that you dearly missed. As you were focused on turning on the alarm to notice another aircraft in the air, turning on the radar, and checking safety controls caused you to fail to notice the slim figure approaching from behind.

Nat takes this moment why you are in mental solitude to absorb your features; your concentrated face making a knot deep within her start to ache. The way your hands are flexed across the controls, moving in practiced synchronization as if you could do it perfectly with your eyes closed. Also, the small barely noticeable scars littered across your arms and hands that she knows all the stories to you, courtesy of you telling them to her in the deepest of the night as her head lay on your bare chest when sleepiness was absent.

She came up behind you while you were slightly leaning on the controls, encircling her hands around your stomach, laying her cheek across the side of your back as she watched the view of the endless clouds. This is where she loved to be, anywhere with you, no matter the place.

When you felt her hands on your abdomen a sense of warmness spread throughout your body at just her touch; what she could make you feel in just a matter of seconds was a feeling you always loved.

There was a few moments of sereness that passed by before her face shifted away from the clear window to face your back.

“I really missed this.”

You let out a small chuckle, pivoting your head scarcely to the left so you could see her out of the corner of your eye. “I never knew you were so needy, babe.”

She slaps your back with her right arm at your tease which causes you to tremble away from her grip but eventually turn towards her, leaning back on the controls now so you were face to face. 

“Well you have been away to satisfy my needs, and I can only do so much.” She expressed softly with a playful angry expression on her face as she stands on her toes to connect both your lips once and for all.

The laughter within your stomach automatically ceases as her plump lips come in contact with yours, being substituted with a desire. Your hands were quick to move up to her hips and gradually down to her plump bottom, giving a gentle squeezing. 

A soft moan discharged from her closed throat at the pressure that was so close to where she needed you to be. Her lips miraculously worked with yours in an erotic dance as the force of the kisses made each of your heads move back and forth. Her hands unhurriedly came up to your firm stomach for balance, her hands skimming over your clothed breast which made a groan escape between your parted lips as you came out of the kiss for air.

No words were uttered as you wordlessly looked into her eyes for the next few seconds, her dilated pupils and the salacious look that resounded within her darkening orbs made you dive in for more of what you so badly dreamed for.

Your hands left the position on her lower half to quickly cup her face and bring her closer while her soft tongue pressed against the entrance of your lips for admission to your tongue. Bestowing her access by parting your lips, your tongues clashed together in simultaneous congruence. A deprived moan came from the pit of her throat from the way your mouth deliciously sucked on her tongue. That eruption from deep within her vocal cords was the moment something clicked on inside of you to grant her real satisfaction.

You swiftly picked her up by the rear and carelessly sat her down on top of the controls, damn the quinjet because if you go down this would be a gratifying last moment of your life. While still retaining a steady pace of indulging in Natasha’s succulent lips, your hurried hands tugged at the hem of her leggings. She snickered as she caught onto your intentions and lifted her bottom so you could quickly pull her lower garments off. 

Greedy fingers instantly met Natasha’s clothed cunt moments after her leggings had been moved and forgotten by her ankles. You took your middle and pointer fingers together and rubbed them against her clothed protruding clit. Provoking a loud moan from her; your breaths integrating from the brisk withdrawal by both of your damp lips. Her right hand presently snaked up the back of your neck while her left hand rested on your shoulder; making eye contact with her as you devoted more pressure on her clothed clit, her pupil now a tiny black speck in the sea of inveigle basil green. 

Her eyes squeezed shut as they rolled back while her mouth hung open and twitched from the constant motion happening right where she needed you to be, her head inclining forward as you pressed harder. Your sweaty foreheads came together for only a moment until you shifted your head to start sending temperate but firm kisses along her face and later neck.

You had enough of taunting her, wanting to feel her needy opening sucking up your digits. Impatiently pushing aside her lacey panties as you were met with a beyond moist sticky cunt; quick to find her clit and begin irritating it for more pressure. 

Natasha’s celestial moans and faltering sighs filled the quinjet's advanced space, luckily it was just you two, or else things would have been inconvenient. Although your fingers did not just stop at rubbing her clit, too eager you wait not one more second and plunged them straight into her opening. A coarse protracted whine came from her hushed mouth, as her face rested on your shoulder she took the opportunity to bite down to help with the influx of pleasure she acquired in such little time. 

This didn’t deter you as you only started to pump your digits quicker, the only sound echoing throughout the aircraft was your low grunts now and then, Natasha’s moans that began to sound more like yearning cries, and her pussy making various squelching noises that rang like music to your ears as you continued to hammer into her.

It didn’t take long before that tight knot within her stomach that had been itching badly inside of her, in demand to be undone, finally erupted. When that knot flared deep in the pit of Natasha’s stomach that’s when a real guttural whine escaped from her lips. You knew she was quite the verbal person in intimate situations like this, but the moan that was unleashed from her sounded extra-terrestrial, an almost jarring roar that was brought out from a hidden place inside her.

You weren’t close to being done yet, the second you remove your fingers from her center a tired objection came from her heavy breathing mouth. Her muddled head leaned back until her heavy eyes looked upon your face, her creased eyebrows hinted to her examining your sudden action to stop. Before she could let out a weak protest you stuck your soaked fingers that had just been buried inside her past her plump lips and flat onto her unexpectant tongue.

She sucked her juices from your fingers slowly in a seductive manner as she kept eye contact with you; your knot within starting to beg for release just from the way her pristine lips grasped around your digits and slowly slid down the expanse of your fingers. When she popped the fingers out of her mouth you immediately brought them up to your lips to get a taste, unknowingly to you Nat’s eyes hazily watching the movement of your hands and the way you searched for any leftover taste of her on your fingers only for it all to be gone.

In a matter of seconds, your lips instantly met Natasha’s again, causing a groan to leave her from the force of roughness. In your little plan, you had found what you were looking for, but there was still some leftover taste of Nat scattered on her tongue. A deep moan set free from her drowsy self at the feeling of you sucking her tongue harshly. She brought her head away from yours slowly, a string of mixed saliva drooping between your faces as both your lustful eyes stared deep into one another's souls.

“There’s more where that came from.” She uttered in a husky voice.

After dispatching another quick peck to her lips, you sank to the ground in an instant. Your knees collided against the hard steel just as Natasha had spread her legs open, wide enough for you to have full sight of her exalted pussy that could never be replicated. Natasha took her bottom lip in between her teeth and smirked from the way you were taking time to adore her bare cunt as if she hadn’t told you to continue the vulgar actions that you were performing moments earlier.

It didn’t take you any longer to get back into the swing of things as your face merged into her sodden cunt, her thighs encompassing your head as her radiant smell plagued your sense as you took a deep breath in. Sticking your deprived tongue out from behind your lips that were submerged in her center, licking an elongated vertical line up her center. Her shivering that knocked you off your course made you resort to wrapping your hands around her outer thighs to keep her in place, talking into her pussy which sent a thundered hum attack her clit which stimulated her so much that she bucked and whined like a lost wolf that has strayed from its pack.

Her body shuddered from your attempted talking inducing numerous buttons on the control deck to be pressed while some switches flicked on and off. Your grip on her thighs constricted to ensure she changed no controls that would cause the quinjet to plummet to the ground instantaneously. Even with a slight chance of crashing, you stretched your hungry tongue past her entrance, and as deep as your face would let you without suffocating, making this another satisfying moment to go out. 

Your tongue wriggled back and forth inside of Natasha, numerous times pressing on the bundle of nerves that made her go crazy each time you hit it just right. Natasha needed something to hold onto as the knot in her came undone even more each second, her pale fingers sliding in between your locks and barring onto the roots. You hissed slightly from the tugging she would do every few seconds from hitting her g-spot now and then. That didn’t hold you back from going deeper as her taste was so addicting, her juices being like holy ale sent down from above just for you only, sacred nectar that could never be found anywhere on the earth no matter how hard you searched. 

Ultimately getting lost in the tempo and taste of Natasha brought her to another orgasm that struck her harder than last time tenfold, you were always so proficient with your tongue that she could never get enough. This time no sound was emitted from her opened mouth, only a sound of strangulation as she failed to take in air. Her tense chest heaved in and out as she got a hold of her breath but was still moments into seeing the stars. That was all muffled for you because she had you interlocked tightly within her pale plush thighs, her juices drenching your face as her cum oozed out from within her. You were entrapped, and truthfully, you don’t think you want to leave just yet.

»

[divinesyn]

Giselle scenario based on this song: https://youtu.be/GZZluy6EXkQ?si=4OXU-DA7Kq94kaOr

hi hi! the song comes off as super chill so i decided to go with a more fluffy vibe for this one hopefully it's okay 🥺

-x-

brief: based on this song pairing: idol!reader x giselle genre: fluff with minor [useless] plot oops

-x-

AN: Sorry for the delay, been chipping away at this super slowly because of work! Didn't have much time to proof read so things might not make sense and I haven't written in AGES. Hope you enjoy :(

Promotion periods were always considered a double-edged sword in your mind. A relentless cycle of obligations that you would have to keep up with, as a single misstep could easily break the equilibrium between your mental and physical demands. The constant glare of cameras and clamor of fans wrings you out eventually, but that was the reality of it all.

Thankfully, it wasn't you who was enduring it for the time being.

Your group had just concluded a final run of promotions two weeks ago and the reprieve was more than welcomed amongst you and your members alike. If anything it was just a few minor broadcasts and public apperances to maintain some extra momentum but those were spaced well apart where they wouldn't be cumbersome and resting was guaranteed. The only issue that you saw was, well, on your laptop screen right now.

A smile graces your lips at the sight of now raven-black hair, eyes locked on Aeri as you watch her position herself on stage amongst her members. Reflective stage paneling and idly looping graphics on the main screen bounce light across her features as you watch her eyes dart around in nervousness, but that easily fades as soon as the instrumental starts.

---

It seems that your lucky streak with promotion periods has ended, seeing as Aeri and your schedules have just narrowly missed each other for this month. Given your time was spent between a stage and at the company practice rooms, the time you and Aeri have spent together was essentially non-existent aside from the occasional video call and coffee meet. Even then those times are cut short by practices accompanied by rushed I love you's and don't forget to eat as the screen goes black. You stare longingly as she performs, making sure to send a you did amazing today text with an attached photo of your laptop screen, lips quirking down at the mismatched messages you two have sent from the past month.

As their performance ends, you wait patiently throughout the night before finally receiving a reply.

aeri: Thank you baby, miss you so much &lt;3 aeri: Maybe we can meet up soon? Even if its a quick one? :(

---

To say the least, soon never really came.

The world seemed intent on keeping you two apart and the more you checked in on Aeri you could see her resolve chipping away. Even keeping yourself occupied was starting to become a challenge in itself and you find yourself checking your phone more often than you'd like as you sought out Aeri's attention. Despite all the posts she made on her social media you couldn't help but be more selfish in wanting to see her for yourself, something that isn't shared with her fans.

y/n: The choreo for my upcoming special clip with Haerin has been killing me TT

y/n: You guys finish with promotions soon right? Can finally see you soon

[Seen 37m ago]

Idly sitting on the polished floor of your company practice room, you gather up your belongings with a sigh as you ignore the slight aches in your body. Pressing your body against the door, the glass frame opens to a startled figure.

Equally startled your eyes track upward to a familiar face. One that you haven't seen in far too long.

'Aeri...?'

'Hey y/n'

Her voice sounds worn and the slightly concealed darkness under her eyes is a testimony to just how exhausted she is, but you can't refrain from the gradual welling of excitement in your body as you immediately wrap your arms around her. Taking note of the plastic bag she held in one of her hands, you tip-toed slightly to press your lips against hers.

'Missed you' Your lips parted slightly for you to mumble 'What are you doing here? Don't you have a schedule tomorrow?'

The nylon of her windbreaker rustles as she shakes her head with a grin, forehead pressing against yours briefly as she pulls away, her free hand resting lightly against your forearm.

'Ning and I have tomorrow free actually.' She gestures to herself with a flick of her hair 'So now I'm here.'

You couldn't help but chuckle though it fades as your lips quirk into a frown and Aeri is quick to notice the change.

'Is something wrong y/n?'

With a pout you meet her gaze 'Figured it would be better if you rested though, you look so tired'

Your hand reaches up to her cheek and she presses herself against it gently with a hum.

'Missed you too much to do that. Wanted to see you.' Her hand shakes the plastic bag with what you assumed to be food, mouth forming a lopsided grin. 'So how about dinner?'

---

You could always trust that the riverside was going to be busy regardless of the time but it was ambient enough for you two to pass through without being recognized, though the masks you two wore were just an extra precaution. Having been weeks on end without seeing Aeri you clung to her, arms looped as you braced the bite of the night air.

Exhausted and seemingly on edge for the past week Aeri found herself shedding the weight of expectations, her burdens melting away with each passing moment as you two meandered to a secluded spot to eat. In fact, it was her members who suggested that she go visit most likely tired of watching Aeri slouching around lovesick.

Masks strung around your jaws you ate in comfortable silence, littered with conversations about how their comeback was going and Aeri's plans of visiting her parents once they finished.

'You're free to come along as well you know. Mum loves having you around and I know you like bullying me with Dad...' Aeri chuckles, her breath fading into the darkness. 'Or we can hang out with the girls. Jimin said she wanted to go to those markets you mentioned a while ago.'

'Anything is oh-'

Aeri's thumb swipes at a drop of sauce from the corner of your lips before returning it to her mouth with a quirked brow.

'Oh?' She grins 'Continue baby'

You roll your eyes with an exasperated sigh.

'As I was saying,' You pause, teasingly glaring 'Anything is fine with you.'

'Three weeks away and as sweet as ever.'

Not even a beat passes as your lips meet hers, the warmth between the two of you transferring between the exchange. Surprised, Aeri quickly softened at the contact having realized that amidst the chaos of stardom, it was these stolen moments of intimacy that truly mattered. These nights of pure calm, far from the glare of the spotlight made her press into the kiss more in the hopes of savouring every second. You feel her reluctance as you pull away with a smile, heart overwhelmingly warm and full.

'For you? Always.'

[softcitrus2345]

I've finally started feeling the motivation to draw, so hopefully I can get back to my commission queue soon, and then to replying to all the great asks yall have sent in over the past.... months 😬😅

I'm still kind of in a weird mental place but I've been trying to keep myself busy with other things, plus working retail 5 days a week tends to keep your mind and body pretty occupied so there's that too-

I've seen all the asks and replies you guys have sent me, and I haven't forgotten about the few of you still dming me about commissions, I promise I'll get back to you all, as soon as I can

Thank you to everyone who has continued supporting and sharing my art even during this month when I've been practically radio silent

I'm sad I couldn't celebrate pride month with you all, but hopefully I can eventually make some kinda post for pride, I really have been wanting to ;;w;;

I'm still healing but this blog makes me happy so I'm gonna try to get back into the groove.. yall are the best for sticking around and for all your sweet comments and condolences, it really does mean a lot to me, even if I can't always find the right words to respond with

I'm gonna head to bed for now but I'm relieved I'm feeling motivated to create again, even though I'm still grieving

My wounds are still pretty fresh but I'm trying to give myself grace, grief isn't something you just "get over", especially not this quickly, baby steps, baby steps..

Anyway, this is a kink blog, but I wanted to at least share this, if nothing else. I'll try not to bum yall out too much in the future, no promises though /hj

Take care, everyone, and I wish you all a very happy pride month TTuTT

[storiesofsvu]

Girl Dinner

Casey Novak x Rita Calhoun Warnings: language, sass, bantering, smut. Welp, at least this is finally done. I can't tell ya if it's any good or if I even like it, but I finally actually managed to write after a solid two weeks of nothing. Hoping that the creativity will continue to bless me and I can get some more of it done as the month goes on. At least I managed to finagle my way into getting Thursday off so hopefully that will help! Manifest more writing to come from me soon! lol, apologies for things taking so long. Especially to those of you who have bought me ko-fi's for specific requests! Also this is my first time writing a full blown smut piece for a ship and not a reader insert, so it's not gonna be perfect lol

Working through dinner in the Calhoun/Novak household was a very usual thing, especially during the week. Weeknights were for ordering take out to the office while slaving over files or opening arguments and witness lists. They were for going out with the firm, bartering, rubbing elbows and climbing the social chains, making connections that would no doubt come to help you out later down the road. Nights spent sharing bottles of wine with prospective clients at the finest steakhouses in Manhattan for hours while you started to piece together people’s character and integrity. They were for hours spent at Forlini’s, shooting the shit and attempting to make plea deals with the prosecutor on the case, sometimes multiple at once. It was very rare that both of them actually made it home in time for dinner at all.

Not that Casey minded, she was used to eating alone in her office at Hogan place, putting blood sweat and tears into cases that she might not even end up winning. Besides, it certainly wasn’t like Rita was going to cook for her, the best she was getting was pricey take out (which Rita sometimes would send to the apartment when she knew the other woman was home). Most nights Casey got home first she’d toss together something delicious and semi healthy, setting aside a plate for Rita whenever she did get home, if she’d already eaten, it would be tomorrow’s lunch.

Tonight was the rare occasion where they were both home by dinner time, but that didn’t mean either of them were done working. Rita was in the home office; door open just a crack and Casey could hear her on the phone. By the sound of things, she was talking deals, and the sassy and somewhat playful tone in her voice told her it was Barba on the other side of the line. So she chose to stay at the kitchen island and finish up her own closing argument, leave her girlfriend squabbling with her best friend for a little longer.

It was almost an hour later when Casey’s stomach began to rumble, but the office conversation had since changed to speaker phone, meaning it was nowhere near over so she treated it like any other night they were apart. She closed her file folders, stashing them in her work bag and padded through the kitchen to the fridge, staring into it, the pantry and the freezer until she found something suitable to throw in the oven for herself. When it was finished, she took it into the living room with a glass of wine, throwing a mindless show on the television to keep her occupied while she waited for Rita to wrap up whatever she was working on.

She was done a second glass of wine by the time she realized how late it was, letting out a soft sigh as she pushed off the couch. Stopping in the kitchen she poured out another glass of wine for Rita before wandering down the hallway and knocked gently on the door. Rita’s soft ‘come in’ echoed through the space and Casey smiled, stepping into the office.

“Are you that deep into it tonight?”

“I was.” She laughed lightly, “then Raf got me all distracted.”

“Well,” Casey perched on the edge of her desk, placing down one of the wine glasses, “if you’ve still got work to do, start with this, I’ll get you some dinner going.”

“I have dinner.” The older woman replied, gesturing to the snack box she had made to take to work, a handful of trail mix, half a bag of salt and vinegar Boom Chicka Pop, some now very brown apple slices, and cubes of cheese.

“That is not dinner.” Casey practically snorted, “that barely constitutes a snack.”

“It counts.” She protested with a laugh, popping a piece of cheese into her mouth with a shrug, “I had a big lunch, went out with Liz. It’s fine darling.”

“Is this how you eat when I’m not around?”

“It’s food, isn’t it?” She shrugged, munching on some more of it while continuing to scribble on a legal pad.

“Did you survive on Lunchables at Harvard?” She asked with a laugh, the look Rita gave her making her realize she probably didn’t even know what a Lunchable was.

“Rafael cooked. Or we went down to the dining hall. You’ve seen it, that constitutes real food.”

Casey let out a small huff, “I was about to make a comment about how expensive that must’ve gotten but then I remembered who I’m talking to.”

Rita chuckled, her pen stilling in her hand as she looked up at the redhead, “I know you enjoy cooking for me, but I am being perfectly nutritious.”

“Okay, but lunch with Liz, that,” she gestured to the snack box, “plus the half an egg you ate on your way out the door doesn’t count as three balanced meals.”

“Oh,” She grinned, “and I’m so sure your dinner of… what was it? Let me guess, dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and tater tots, does?”

“Hey!” Casey pouted, “at least I actually cooked them! It counts as dinner. Rita, c’mon.” she tugged at her hand, “I’ll even order expensive take out, you need something hot and delicious to eat.”

Rita let out a low laugh, her lips curving up into a devilish smirk as she looked up at the other woman, “you know… if you wanted me to eat you out all you had to do was ask.”

“Rita!” Casey felt her cheeks heat, her eyes widening at the other woman’s words.

“What?” She shrugged, her eyes dragging up and down her body, lingering on the swell of her chest peeking out from under her shirt, “you said something hot and delicious. And something hot and delicious happens to be standing right in front of me…”

“Rita…” She warned, letting out a huff.

“Are you telling me you don’t want me to eat you out?” She asked, picking up her pen again, flipping it through her fingers, “fine, I’ll keep working. But I thought I had you trained better, you should know every good dinner needs an even tastier appetizer.” She glanced up at Casey, her brow raised and a hungry fire in her eyes, “and I am particularly fond of how you taste.” Casey gulped, shifting awkwardly on the edge of Rita’s desk, pulling a dark chuckle from the other woman, “that’s what I thought.” She swatted at her hip, “bedroom. I’m not risking you ruining any of this paperwork.”

The heat from Casey’s cheeks started to tingle through her body, her mind already beginning to cloud at the thought of Rita’s mouth on her. The woman knew exactly just how to drive her wild, she could have her turned on in the flash of a second with just a lingering look or her extensive vocabulary, made even spicier the moment she started dirty talking.

And that was before she even laid a hand on her.

By the time Casey was in the bedroom her shirt was tugged over her head and she was ducking to kiss Rita, accepting the other woman’s tongue into her mouth as she let out a soft moan. Rita’s hands were on the waistband of her pants, pulling them and her underwear down over her hips so Casey could kick them off. The brunette nudged her to sit on the edge of the bed, softly pulling away from the kiss and Casey’s hands flew to her waist, untucking her blouse, fingers sneaking underneath the fabric to tickle across her heated skin. Rita caught her wrists, pressing a kiss to the palm of one of her hands,

“Uh-uh.”

“But.” She began to protest before Rita cocked a brow at her.

“This is about getting you off, and then getting me dinner. I can have my fun later.”

“Promise?” She practically pouted and Rita laughed softly, cupping her face, thumb stroking over her cheek before she leant down, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose.

“Promise.” She nodded, “now lie back darling.”

Casey shifted on the bed until her head hit the pillows, her skin prickling as Rita climbed over her, catching her lips in a kiss while her hands began to trace patterns on porcelain skin. She couldn’t help but moan when Rita’s tongue slipped back into her mouth, dancing with her own as their lips moved with a familiar grace. The tingle between her legs grew at the feeling of hands softly groping at her chest, rolling her nipple between finger and thumb and she broke the kiss to moan gently, her head falling back into the pillows.

Rita took advantage, her lips trailing down her neck, teeth nipping gently at her skin in an attempt to not leave any marks in the morning. She licked across her collarbone, pausing to press a gentle kiss in the middle before her lips continue to trace across Casey’s skin. The other woman wound her fingers gently into her hair, holding her to her as she worked her way across her body, little whimpers escaping her lips as her pussy began to flutter. Rita’s lips wrapped around a nipple, sucking it into her mouth as Casey moaned softly, her nails scratching at the brunette’s scalp, her hips rocking up off the bed begging for more contact. Her lips curved up into a grin on Casey’s skin before her teeth nipped at her nipple and she let out a gasp, back arching off the bed. Satisfied with the reaction she repeated the motions on the other side, leaving Casey whining beneath her, body shivering against the bed, her pussy practically dripping. Wrapping a sturdy arm around her waist, Rita rolled onto her back, a small shriek leaving the other woman’s lips as she did so.

“What’re y—”

“Come sit on my face.” She muttered; her breath hot on Casey’s lips as she surged up to steal another kiss.

“But…”

“My appetizer,” Rita squeezed at her hips as she stole another heated kiss, “my choice of how it’s presented, right?”

“You’re ridiculous.” Casey shook her head, kissing her once more before she crawled up the bed, settling her legs on either side of her head and Rita’s hands slid up her legs, softly grasping her waist.

Casey let out a gasp when Rita yanked her down onto her face, her tongue lapping at the other woman’s pussy. Her lips moved with expertise, tongue slipping in just enough to tantalize her, pulling waves of pleasure from deeper within her body with each pass of her tongue. Juices began to smear across her lips as Casey whined above her, her hands shooting out to clutch at the headboard. Rita groaned against her skin, her fingers tightening into her hips, rocking her body ever so gently, encouraging Casey to grind down onto her, to chase her release as needily as she wanted to.

“Oh fu-uck.” Her body trembled when Rita’s nose nudged against her throbbing clit, a whimper escaping her lips.

She could feel Rita’s lips curving up into a smirk against her skin before her mouth shifted upwards so she could suck her clit into her mouth. Casey moaned louder at the sensation, her head falling back as she continued to grind down onto Rita. Her heart was thundering in her chest, heat prickling under her skin as the pleasure soared through her, pussy fluttering around nothing, dripping down her thighs. Rita’s tongue danced patterns against her clit, flicking with the tip exactly how Casey desired, her noises getting louder with each movement from the other woman. She was so close and Rita could sense it, sucking harder on her clit, moaning into her pussy, the vibrations driving Casey wild, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

“Please…” she whined, pulling a chuckle from Rita whose hand snuck between the redhead’s thighs, playing with her folds before two fingers sunk into her heat, “fuck.”

Rita groaned again, feeling Casey’s pussy pulse around her fingers as she fucked her, her lips sucking harder around her clit. Juices dribbled down her wrist, her fingers curling, quickly finding the sensitive spot inside her cunt, Casey let out a gasp, her head dropping forward as pleasure shot through her body.

“Oh god…” she moaned, “d-don’t stop.” Her body jolted, thighs threatening to suffocate Rita as she continued her motions, “s’close.”

Rita moaned in response, her tongue flicking faster, working in tandem with her fingers, the tips pressing into Casey’s g-spot with each thrust. She rubbed harder, lingering against the sensitive spot and Casey cried out, her entire body shaking as the coil burst and her orgasm hit her, coursing through her body, the fire bursting from under her skin. Rita’s tongue lazily licked at her clit, smirking at the way it made the other woman shudder before she pulled her fingers from her pussy, her mouth sinking back down to gently clean up the mess she’d made between her legs.

Casey could feel her body aching to go limp and in an attempt to actually not suffocate her girlfriend she mustered up the strength to swing her leg off her, dropping down onto the bed as she panted. Rita chuckled beside her, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before she reached out, pulling Casey into her embrace. With a soft sigh the redhead relaxed into her, curling into her side as her head found home on her chest. Rita’s nails softly scratched at her scalp, gliding through her hair as she pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

“Feeling better?” She asked, her free hand gliding up and down Casey’s back.

“Much.” She mumbled in reply, finally able to catch her breath. It was only after a minute that her brow furrowed and she pulled her head up, looking up at Rita, “wait… this wasn’t about me, this was about you eating.”

“Did I not just eat?” Rita cocked a brow, a grin on her lips and Casey rolled her eyes.

“An actual meal, consisting of physical food that was better than some Lunchable.”

“I’m perfectly fine.” She smiled, leaning down to place a kiss onto Casey’s lips. As much as she would claim she was fine, her body was about to betray her, a loud growl echoing through the room from her stomach. Casey barked out a laugh as Rita huffed, dropping back onto the pillows.

“No denying it now.” Grinning, the redhead stole a kiss, “what do you feel like? Something fancy or something comforting.”

“If that’s your way of asking if pizza is acceptable, my answer is yes.” She pinched at Casey’s waist, “just keep the pineapple on your side please.”

“Of course.” Casey kissed her cheek before rolling over to grab her phone from the nightstand, quickly punching in the order before tossing the device to the side.

“How long.” Rita asked, shifting the blankets around the two of them.

“Twenty minutes.”

“Perfect.” Her arms wound around the other woman, “that’s plenty of time for another round.”

“You are insufferable.” Casey laughed as she accepted the kiss.

“And you love it.”

“Mmhmm.”

________________

@svulife-rl @mickey-gomez @naturalxselection @clarawatson @yesterdaysgone @momlifebehard @alexusonfire @summergeezb @rainbowelshrhian @daddy-heather-dunbar @alcabots @ladysc @daffodil-heart @thisisraes @happenstnces @kmc1989 @valentinesfrog @noahrex @prentiss-theorem

[mynameismckenziemae]

She’s a Fire-Chapter XV

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x OFC/Reader (no use of y/n)

Hotter than Hell

(previous chapter here, next chapter here)

Warnings: mutual masturbation, pretending to be into your BFF to tease your men…so queerbaiting I guess? Sending dirty pictures, unintentional orgasm denial, etc.

Three days pass in radio silence and it’s killing you. Sunny does her best to keep you distracted but she works 12-hour shifts with virtually no phone access.

10 PM on Thursday, you finally get a text.

Bradley: Hey, sweetheart. Sorry to text instead of call, but I’m sharing a room with Bobby and it’s lights out, so we’re both stuck in here. How’re you?

You laugh, knowing what he’s hinting…Please don’t turn me on right now.

Rowan: It’s okay, I understand. I’ll send you my dirty pictures next time. I’m good, just missing you. How are you?

Bradley: Can’t fucking wait. I haven’t gotten off since we left. They’ve been running us ragged. I’m so tired. Bob doesn’t cuddle like you. He’s all ‘Get off me…’ Why are you hard?’

Rowan: LOL, why do I feel like you’re not kidding though?

Bradley: …

Bradley: Kidding. Seriously, Sunny would kill me if I touched Bob (and didn’t let her watch).

Rowan: Wow…same though.

Bradley: Oh yeah?

Rowan: Definitely. I’d be ticked if I missed you getting dicked down by Bob. 😏

Bradley: No, it’d be the other way around. I’d be doing the dicking-downing or whatever.

Rowan: Not a chance. 😂

Bradley: Wow.

Bradley: Damn it, times up. Hopefully, it won’t be too long before we talk again. Love you, see you soon.

Rowan: I love you too, get some sleep.😘

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Even though Bradley keeps a tidy home, you spend Saturday doing a deep clean. You find some photo albums in the attic when you bring a box of your things up, not sure yet if you want to donate it yet or not.

Tears fill your eyes as you flip through the photos. There’s one of Carole holding teeny-tiny Bradley in the hospital, tired but glowing. The next one has the tears spilling over—Nick’s holding him, terrified but excited. You laugh at the one of Bradley on his first birthday, frosting all over his face and curly hair, grinning at the camera.

Your smile falls a few pages later when you see Bradley alone in front of his dad’s coffin, saluting. You turn the page, a wave of nausea hitting you imaging your own child in the same position. The next photo is at least a year or two later and you swallow your sob, knowing Carole was probably so devastated and overwhelmed trying to take care of herself and Bradley that capturing memories with pictures wasn’t even a thought in her mind.

You decide that’s enough for now and put everything back where it was and head back downstairs to finish cleaning.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Sunny picks you up on Sunday for brunch and wedding discussions. She and Bob picked a date next fall back in Minnesota when the leaves should be at their peak color.

Sunny snorts as you show her your conversation from the other night with Bradley about her and Bob. “Agreed. Bradley would definitely be the one bottoming.”

After eating and a few drinks, you both decide to shop off your slight buzz (in truth, neither of you wants to go back to an empty house).

“Ooo, let’s stop here, I want to pick something pretty up for under my bridesmaid dress for Jake and Nat’s wedding,” Sunny says, opening the door to a fancy lingerie boutique.

You laugh, but follow her in. Never should’ve let Sunny have that second tequila sunrise.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Maybe shopping wasn’t a good idea, you think as Sunny tosses items at you to try on.

There are only two fitting rooms and one is occupied so you share the vacant one as it’s roomy enough for two, and the girl at the counter barely looked up from her phone when you walked in.

It’s pretty in the dressing room; walls painted a dark burgundy, accented with a baroque chair and flattering lighting.

“You know what would be fun? To send the boys some sexy pictures of us together in here. I’ll put this little robe on for the ones we sent to Bradley and you can for the ones I send to Bob…?” Sunny asks in a whisper, checking her reflection in the mirror.

Apparently, tequila does more to Sunny than make her clothes fall off. But…it’s not a bad idea. Bradley would lose his mind.

“I like the way you think” you whisper back with a wink.

Sunny wears white, while you’re in black

You take a few photos of her alone; your favorite is her kneeling, eyes closed and your manicured thumb is pressing on her bottom lip. She then does the same for you.

“Go bend over that chair, arch your back, look over your shoulder at me….yeah like that, bite your lip now. Perfect! Bradley is going to die. Look at that butt!” She whispers excitedly, showing you what she snapped.

Next, you set your phone on the shelf and hit the timer for the ones of you together.

You put on your robe and then start behind her, one hand on her lower stomach, the other skimming her cleavage, eyes half-lidded on each other. You step around to her side, hands still on her body as you press your lips to her neck. A few more positions and then you switch; you drop your robe as she dons hers.

You start off the same way, her hands skimming over your body, she takes it a hair further and puts her fingertips in the tops of the lacy underwear, “Hey, buy my dinner first.” She snorts, causing you to laugh.

You take a few more, lips almost brushing in a near kiss before turning to her side and rotating you around, so your ass is to the camera. You bite your lip to not laugh as she squeezes a handful of your ass. “I’m straight but your ass is making me question things.” She whispers before delivering a hard open hand smack to your cheek.

“Jesus, Sun,” you whisper, trying not to laugh too loud, “You’re gonna get us kicked out!”

“Nah we’re fine. Wait, don’t move. I’m gonna take a picture of my handprint.”

You can’t help but laugh, and let her, knowing Bradley will like it.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

You both end up buying what you had on for your impromptu photo shoot and a few things more. The girl at the counter didn’t comment on the fact that you were both in the same fitting room for 45 minutes; you weren’t sure she even noticed.

You two sit in the car and go through the pics, giggling as you send them to her.

“I’m not sure I should even send these…” Sunny laughs as she pulls out of the parking lot.

“What?! Why not? It was your idea!”

“I’m kidding. I’m so sending them. I may regret it though when I can’t walk the day after Bob gets home.”

You laugh. “Same.”

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Later, you smile as you hit send, hoping you don’t have to wait too long before you can talk again.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

“Your 2 hours start now!” Cyclone yells.

Bradley heads to the common room, giving Bob privacy in their bunk room for the first hour. His phone is vibrating nonstop, incoming messages all coming in at once as it powers on.

Sitting on a chair, he pulls out his phone and scans the room—nearly empty save for a few others scattered around.

Rowan: Dirty pictures as requested, featuring a special guest.

What the…oh my fucking God, Rowan, he thinks as he clicks on the first picture of you, his cock hardening in an instant.

He slowly flips through them, looking you over in pretty lingerie, nearly swallowing his tongue as he sees one of you bent over the chair, looking at him so innocently over your shoulder, worrying your lip between your teeth.

He discreetly adjusts (palms) himself as he finds the first one with your “special guest”.

It’s his oldest friend clad in a silky robe. Sunny’s a beautiful woman, but he’s never been attracted to her.

There is definitely something attractive about the way she’s touching you though, skimming her fingers over your breasts. Holy shit, her fingers are almost in your panties.

He groans at the next one but covers it (poorly) with a cough. Sunny’s got a handful of your perfect ass. You’re looking at each other’s lips like you’re about to kiss.

His cock twitches and precum leaks as he swipes to the final one. A close-up of Sunny Girl’s handprint on your butt, the red a stark contrast to the pale skin.

40 minutes later he realizes he could’ve been talking to you this whole time.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

You reach for your phone as a text comes through.

Bradley: Your pictures had me so distracted I forgot I could text you for the last 40 minutes.

You laugh as you type a response.

Rowan: Sorry?

Bradley: Don’t be. You are the most breathtakingly beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, hot, woman I’ve ever seen.

Bradley: Sorry, that wasn’t even remotely smooth, lol. I don’t even know what to say. All the blood from my head is in my dick, which is gonna fall off soon if I don’t get to jerk off.

Rowan: Lol, thank you. You’re always smooth. 😉Wait, you still haven’t been able to? It’s been almost a week.

Bradley: No. Shared bunk rooms, shared showers, shared fucking everything. There’s always someone around. We have phones until 9 so Bob’s in there now, we’re gonna switch at 8.

Rowan: 11 minutes and you’ll be able to. I’ll even let you watch me.

Bradley: I can’t fucking wait. Is the vibrator charged? I want to see you use it.

Rowan: Yep, charged it after I used it last night.

Bradley: Oh, don’t even say that. I’m gonna end up jizzing in my pants.

Rowan: Again? 😬

Bradley: Ha. Ha. So fucking funny. 🙄

Rowan: I thought so. ☺️

Bradley: I’m heading back, I’ll call you in a few.

Rowan: Can’t wait.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

A red-faced Bob is coming out just as Bradley approaches the door.

“Sunny send you pictures too I take it?” Bradley asks.

“Yeah. Never thought I’d be okay seeing someone else touch her but…Jesus Christ,” Bob says, running his fingers through his hair. Bradley’s never seen him flustered like this.

“Yeah, I hear ya,” Bradley says, slapping him on the shoulder as he walks into their room, locking the door behind him.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

You answer on the first ring, grinning when you see his handsome face and bare chest.

“Poor Bob looked like he was put through the wringer” is the first thing Bradley says, smiling when he sees you.

“Hey, it was Sunny’s idea…after we had tequila sunrises with brunch” you laugh, “I wore a robe for the ones she sent to him, just like one she wore” you assure him.

“Eh, I wasn’t worried. We share everything else nowadays.” He jokes, winking at you.

“Oh yeah, Sunny and I talked about it and she agrees, by the way. You’d definitely bottom if you two were to get together.”

He scoffs, offended. “Whatever.”

“Sorry babe, you just give off that submissive vibe” you tease.

“I’ll show you submissive.” He says, changing his tune, “Get naked. Now.”

“Yes sir,” you reply sarcastically but oblige.

You set your phone on the nightstand and strip quickly before flipping back on the bed.

“Good girl,” he says lowly, and a shiver crawls up your spine. “Now tease those pretty nipples for me. Yeah, like that. Pinch ‘em too…good.” He tells you, his voice rough. You can hear he’s starting to touch himself too.

“I wanna see all of you, baby, please?” You ask, still playing with your nipples.

“Yeah, hang on,” he says, setting this phone above him so you can see more of his stomach and his hand stroking his erection.

You sigh as you watch him. Out of all the things you’ve done together, this is the first time you’ve watched each other masturbate.

“Your body is incredible Bradley,” you say, fingers now circling your clit. You pick up the vibrator from the nightstand, turn it on, and replace your fingers with it. “God, just look at you.”

He groans, hating and loving your words. He’s so worked up from not cumming in a week, especially after getting off at least twice daily in the 10 days before deploying.

“Row, fuck, I’m sorry but I’m close already. I want you to get there first. Can you do that?” He pants, cheeks ruddy as he fists himself.

“Yeah, I’ll try,” you say, pushing two fingers in and pushing the vibrator setting higher. “I can’t wait to have you inside me,” you whine, curling your fingers and finding your G-spot.

“I’m almost there-almost…I-I…” you can’t finish your sentence as your orgasm hits you, whimpering as you do. It feels so good but it’s not the same without him here.

You notice he’s quiet you catch your breath, not yet able to open your eyes. “Bradley, did you cum?”

No response. You open your eyes and your phone is black. You pick it up and turn the screen on.

The call was disconnected.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

“Row? Can you hear me?” Bradley pants, so so so close as the screen going black.

“Are you still there? Fuck!” He growls, picking up his phone to call you back. But it’s no use. ‘No service’ is all that comes up when he tries.

He hears frustrated voices in the hall, so he’s not the only one affected. He looks down at his throbbing erection and sighs before pulling his pants back on, hoping to find out what’s going on so he can call you back.

Bob is about to knock as he opens the door.

“Something was detected on sonar, so they cut the phones early. I got a text out to Sun before mine went, I’m sure she’ll let Row know.”

“Thanks, man”, he says flopping back on his bunk, reciting the flight manual in his head to get his cock back under control.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

A/N: I hope the queerbaiting doesn’t offend anyone—if you read Sunny’s story, you’ll see that she (like Rowan) gets off on teasing her man and loves turning him on at inappropriate times (can you tell I like it too?) I am pro-LGBTQI.

Tagging:

@its-the-pilot

@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@shanimallina87

@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

@lexixstewart

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@mrsrobertfloyd

@charmedkim

@k-k0129

@bellaireland1981

@ingoaliesitrust

@hookslove1592

@amiets2

@nero4te

@eli2447

[viilpstick]

"This year, mark my words, neither of you will dare forget about Claire's birthday again," Vil warned Ace and Deuce, still fuming over their oversight from last year. Despite Vil not knowing Claire before her birthday last year, he found the idea of her friends forgetting it outrageous.

"We didn't knew! She never told us- She didn't even told Grim!" Ace attempted to argue with Vil, but his efforts were met with nothing but a darkened glare.

"I do not care what your excuse is." He sighed.

Vil turned his gaze to the window, his mind consumed with thoughts of Claire. He wanted, even prayed, that tomorrow would be a day solely dedicated to her happiness. With a sense of certain despair lingering in his heart, he hoped he could make her enjoy celebrating her birthday for at least this once.

"So, let me get this straight," Deuce began. "We have to keep her occupied elsewhere for as long as possible, so you can set up the decorations with Rook, Cater, Riddle, and the others for her surprise birthday party?"

"Exactly. But tomorrow, make sure to still wish her a happy birthday. Pretending to have forgotten wouldn't be wise," Vil replied, turning his body to face the duo squarely. "Do you both understand?"

They both nodded in agreement. Everything just needed to go according to plan.

Rising early from her bed, Claire embarked on her usual routine. She got up, began her classes, hoping that no inconveniences would disrupt her day, and looked forward to possibly meeting up with Vil later on. Then, she anticipated, she could finally rest once again.

She reached for her phone, intending to check the time, but as the screen illuminated, she realized— today is the day of her birthday.

Surely, nothing would interrupt her routine because of it.

"Claire! I remembered!" Grim exclaimed, waking up in an instant. "It's your birthday! Happy birthday, Claire!"

Claire chuckles a bit. Nothing will, hopefully, change her routine.

"Thank you, Grim. Just let not make a great neither big deal out of it. Okay? Grim playfully pretended to zip his mouth shut. "Again, thank you. You didn't had to, but I appreciate it."

As lunchtime approached, Claire found herself relieved that no one seemed to be acting suspiciously around her.

"Dearest," a voice behind her made Claire flinch, and she quickly turned to see who it was. "Happy birthday, Claire," Vil said with a warm smile, his eyes reflecting his genuine affection for her.

"How-"

"Bold of you to assume your own boyfriend wouldn't know such a thing."

"Still, I never told you..."

Claire chuckled shyly as Vil took her hands, placing a tender kiss on her knuckles. A gentle warmth spread through her at his affectionate gesture, her cheeks darkening to a deeper shade of red.

"I have my ways." He responded with a gentle smile, his eyes filled with fondness as he looked at her.

"Well, thank you, Vil."

"No need to thank me."

After lunch, Claire found herself with some free time on her hands. All the classrooms were filled with students attending their courses, and there were no available classes for her to take. The only options were practical magic and conjuration, where she would likely just sit around doing nothing. At least outside of class, she could read a book. Or so she thought, unexpectedly caught off guard by Kalim.

"There you are! Claire!" He jumped on her, almost making them both fall down. "Happy birthday!"

It was understandable that Vil would know her birthday, being her boyfriend, but the fact that Kalim also seemed to be aware of it was a bit surprising to Claire. She couldn't help but wonder how he found out.

"Why, thank you- But, how did you..."

"Kalim! Back to class!" Crewel's voice cut through the air, tinged with anger, as he swung the door open. Seeing Claire's figure his expression softened. "Happy birthday, pup."

"What-"

"-Have a good day!" Kalim goes back inside the classroom.

The sudden interruption left Claire feeling confused and almost overwhelmed by the unexpected turn of events. Claire struggled to articulate her feelings, but deep down, she knew she wasn't quite liking with the situation unfolding around her.

With some time still left on her hands, Claire decided to make a visit to Sam's store. After all, in any moment, Grim's tuna was going to end.

As Claire browsed the items on the shelves, humming a soft tune, Sam suddenly appeared behind her.

"Why, hello!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

"Hi, Sam. I didn't see you; I thought you might be restocking..."

"If it isn't the birthday girl herself!" Sam interrupted with a flourish of jazz hands. "Happy birthday, Claire! You know, just for today, I can give you an extra discount on the tuna, and-"

"No." She interrupts him this time. "I am sorry, I just feel like it's just a birthday. I don't understand why people make this a big deal." Claire furrowed her eyebrows, not knowing how to explain what was causing her to get so upset.

"My apologies," Sam muttered softly, sensing Claire's discomfort.

"I—" Claire glanced at the clock. "Thank you, I'll just go."

With a nod, Sam watched her leave, feeling puzzled by her unusual behavior.

As the day finally came to an end, Claire took a deep breath, resolving to head to Ramshackle before anyone else had the chance to wish her a happy birthday or engage in any further unexpected interactions.

But, of course life wasn't going to play easy with her.

"Floyd! Put me down."

For, Claire is now getting kidnapped by Floyd and Jade who are taking her to the Mostro Lounge.

"But, shrimpy! It's your birthday, we can't just let you go without showing you what Azul has to offer." He giggled looking behind to his brother. "Ne, Jade?"

"My brother is quite right Claire." Jade nodded in understanding, but Claire couldn't help but sigh, feeling her impatience growing with each passing moment.

Forced to sit down in the VIP room, Claire anxiously awaited Azul's arrival, her mind racing with anticipation and uncertainty.

"First of all; happy birthday, Prefect," When Azul finally arrived, his words triggered an instant reaction from Claire, causing her emotions to surge forth in response. "Second of all, as a birthday gift we have an perfect offer that-"

"I don't care!" Claire exclaimed, rising to her feet with a mixture of anger and anxiety evident on her face. "Why does everyone make such a big deal about birthdays? I've spent so long treating this day like any other, and now suddenly everyone decides birthdays are important?!" Her words carried the weight of pent-up frustration and confusion, her voice trembling slightly with underlying nerves.

She left the room in embarrassment, her cheeks flushed with emotion, unable to bear the intensity of the situation any longer. Trying to hold back tears.

"We were supposed to make her loose more time with us..." Whined Floyd.

"Don't worry," Azul commented, adjusting his glasses with a calm demeanor. "She inadvertently provided key information about why no one knew about her birthday before."

"Has she?" Floyd raised his eyebrow.

"Call the House Warden of Pomefiore."

Opening the door of Ramshackle, Claire felt exhausted and overwhelmed. Yet, as soon as she stepped inside, she was enveloped in strong arms, the embrace comforting and reassuring. Whispered words of comfort washed over her, easing some of the tension that had built up throughout the day.

"Vil?" She asked confused.

"I am so sorry, Claire, I..." He let's her go. Then she could see what was behind him...

The decorations weren't quite ready yet; the only things on the table were some buttery biscuits and a cake that wasn't even finished. It was a plain vanilla cake adorned with scattered blueberries, awaiting its final touches.

Everyone was present, but instead of happiness, an air of shame seemed to hang over them. Claire couldn't understand why.

"Vil and I thought you would like to experience a birthday with us… We just didn't anticipate it would become so overwhelming to arrange—Not that you're ungrateful!" Cater attempted to explain, his words tinged with a mix of apology and frustration for putting his friend through such a horrible day.

"Is…" Claire trailed off, a sadness creeping into her voice as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I just never saw my birthday as something special, so, seeing you all trying to make it be…" Her words faltered, her emotions too complex to articulate fully.

“Darling…” Vil sighs.

"I will have you know, why should all the other birthdays be special, yet yours not be, Claire?" Riddle questioned, his tone gentle but firm, as if urging her to reconsider her perspective.

“Well-“

"Your birthday is important because we care about it. We care about you," Deuce expressed, his smile fleeting as he turned to meet her gaze with a soft and sincere expression.

“I-“ Claire tried to stay calm instead of crying infront of others.

“I spent most of my time in the kitchen this morning to do your birthday cake, this wouldn’t be something I would do for anyone… Unless you pay me and I am at the bakery.” Trey chuckles scratching the back of his neck.

“It ain’t too much, but when we been to Harveston you mentioned to find those blankets really cozy, so I brought you one. Made by my grandma!” Epel proudly says.

“You do realize, my gift for you is an discount at the Mostro Lounge? For who else would I give it?” Questioned Azul.

Claire smiles holding back her tears shyly at the situation.

“You… Thank you, everyone. I just didn’t-“

“-Knew you would be this important? Of course you are?” Cater says.

Claire smiled, wiping her tears gently, feeling the warmth of an extra jacket being draped over her shoulders. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes of the care and support surrounding her.

"Better to find out late than never, isn't it right?" Vil asked, presenting her with a white birthday jacket handmade by him. "Shall we start everything?" His words carried a sense of warmth and reassurance, inviting Claire to embrace the moment and enjoy the celebration that had been prepared for her.

Claire nods with a smile.

“Yes, let’s go.”

Part 1. | Part 2.

[tranquilpetrichor]

the formula for late nights

cast: gunwook (zb1) x gn biochem major!reader

wc: 722

genre: college!au

warnings: food, mentions of yn drinking sometimes to deal with stress, descriptions of food, academic pressure

a/n: eris try to make a story where yn isn't slightly unhinged challenge failed. also the two could be interpreted as having a crush on one another. now that my finals are over, hopefully i can post more

sitting on an armchair in your suite, you sigh with relief as you finish your chemistry homework. you place the little pencil back into the iPad and shut the case. the device goes back into your bag, where you hope you won't have to see it until tomorrow's class.

you're glad that you've finished your homework for the day because you're sure as hell that you cannot handle doing another problem (no more stoichiometry, please!).

your friend, park gunwook, steps into the common room of your suite and greets you. he's been over for a while, but he was busy helping someone else in the suite with math homework and hasn't bothered you since.

he'd wondered if anyone would even ask for his tutoring help, but you assured him that there would always be someone agonizing over math. hm, maybe you should try it one day (if only you had the time)..

he glances at your packed bag. "so, you're finally done suffering through chem?"

you groan, stretching your muscles. holy shit, you worked for about an hour without getting up?

"i guess. for now, at least."

he chuckles and walks over to your snack cabinets. "for now."

you're not even tall enough to reach some of the shelves on the upper cabinets without the usage of a step stool, yet he has the audacity to steal food from there sometimes.

seemingly changing his mind, he walks to the freezer instead, opening the door to peek inside. you don't bother to ask what he's looking for because you already know.

"i can say goodbye to my chocolate ice cream," you mutter.

he protests. "what? it's good. and it's not my fault we like the same flavor."

perks of having a friend with way too much of a similar taste in food, you suppose.

"i guess we could share? we do have a lot."

not even thirty seconds later, two small bowls, two spoons, and an ice cream scoop are out, the latter item present because you never want to try scooping out ice cream with a regular spoon again.

there also happens to be brownies in the fridge that another friend of yours named jiwoo brought over yesterday.

"take them," she had said, "i won't finish them all anyways."

of course you took them, because who are you to say no to offerings of food?

you find the container and give it to gunwook, who's sitting on the couch across from the tv. there's six brownies left, but you'll probably save some for later.

"oh, we forgot drinks." gunwook says. he stares at you as your lips curve into a knowing smile. "no, y/n, not the alcoholic kind. we are not asking our neighbors for soju today."

you pretend to be disappointed and laugh. "don't worry, you know i only allow myself to drink in the dorms during weekends. it's only thursday. and it's an every-other-week type of thing."

(is it from stress built up through the week? perhaps. did you choose the life of a biochem major willingly? yes, so maybe this is your fault.)

gunwook looks for some chocolate milk instead and rolls his eyes.

"not the best habit, but at least you're more responsible than some other people we know."

you shudder. having to be the parent of the group along with gunwook and help drunk friends home from frat parties is a terrible experience, but you digress. tonight is a time for staying in, occupying the couch, and sharing treats.

he calls out to you. "do you want to watch tv?"

without a second thought, you perk up and join him on the couch. he's already unfolded the blue blanket that sits there, and drapes it over both of you.

"what show?"

he's surfing through the various programs on his tv, and you seem to sink a little further into the couch.

"how about the last of us?"

you nod. "i haven't even started it yet."

(you're known in the friend group for saying "i'll watch [insert show]" and never doing it.)

he smiles and navigates over to hbo max on the screen with your remote. "i think a little brain break is well-deserved."

"couldn't agree more."

with that, you allow yourself and gunwook the luxury of another late night spent in good company with each other.