#but decided to give it a try and benefit of doubt last night

[crescentmoonrider]

woke up pissed off bc of some cunt being rude in my notes yesterday, so im gonna indulge and reblog all of my bully megumi summer time drawings, aka yuuta thinks toji is hot and megumi wants to cry

reminder that it costs nothing to shut the fuck up instead of insulting artists when they draw something you dont like. either block me, block the ship tag, or scroll past like a well-adjusted person who wasn't raised in a barn

please and thank you

now time for some older art and yearly megumi bothering

[pedrospatch]

to do the right thing l part ii

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Pregnant! Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: Joel has a hard time dealing with things as the pregnancy progresses; you and Joel ask Bill and Frank for the favor of a lifetime.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. BOSTON QZ ERA. ((TW)) PREGNANCY, mentions and references to adoption, angst, asshole Joel, mentions of Sarah, softer Joel towards the end.

word count: 7.9k

a/n: i actually spent more time writing this second part, so hopefully it is a bit more well written than the first one that i wrote in an hour in the middle of the night. T_T

February, 2020

“Well, can I just say that we are just so incredibly thrilled that you two could finally come and join us for dinner this evening,” Frank beamed, grinning from ear to ear as he burst into the dining room with a bottle of his favorite red wine in one hand and a bottle opener in the other.

Bill snorted, stabbing his fork just a little too aggressively into his cut of chicken breast.

“Speak for yourself,” he grouched under his breath before taking a bite. Although he’d quit bringing his gun to the table, both you and Joel knew he had the pistol tucked somewhere nearby. You were willing to bet it was tucked into the waistband of his khaki trousers, but Joel would probably argue that it was in a less obvious place, like strapped to his ankle.

It really seemed as though Bill would never allow himself to get used to you, Tess, and he especially wouldn’t allow himself to get used to Joel. He knew it was the smart, logical choice, keeping you three around for the sake of trading supplies and resources when needed, but overall, it wasn't all that necessary. He and Frank had been doing just fine for years before you all had come into their lives after Frank had met Tess over the radio one afternoon. Or at least, that’s what he liked to believe despite the fact that during your very first lunch together, Joel had easily pointed out several flaws around the perimeter of their neighborhood—weak spots that could be vulnerable to raiders if they ever came along. You and Tess joked that Bill put Joel at the top of his shit list the moment he pointed out that their fence only had about a year left to hold strong. He’d been on it ever since.

Having you all around at this point was more for Frank’s benefit than anything. Bill would do just about anything to make Frank happy, and much to his chagrin, you, Tess, and even Joel, made him happy—having friends made him happy. Bill could do without socializing for the rest of his natural born life, but Frank, on the other hand, would lose his sanity. 

“Oh, don’t mind him. He’s just been in a bad mood because we had a massive roof leak the other day after that huge thunderstorm," Frank explained, rolling his eyes. Being the attentive, gracious host that he always was, he quickly made his way around the dinner table, pouring everyone a generous glass of wine to enjoy with their meal. “He spent hours up on that roof trying to patch it up and then damn near broke his ankle coming down when he missed the last two steps on the ladder. Can you believe that?”

“Thought I noticed a limp,” Joel remarked with an amused smirk.

Frank nudged Joel in the shoulder as he poured his wine. “I had told him to wait for you, Joel, what with you having been in construction before and all. But Mister ‘I don’t need anyone’s help’ decided to do it himself even though he has never patched a roof before in his life.”

“Tell you what, next time we’re over for lunch, I’ll go up there and check it out. Make sure he did it right ‘cause I highly doubt he did.”

Bill glowered at him.

You roughly smacked the side of his thigh underneath the table.

Joel, please, You thought silently. We need to stay on his good side.

Frank chuckled as he fell into step beside your chair. “That would be very helpful if you did, actually. It would definitely give me a bit more peace of mind, especially since the rainiest season of the year is approaching fast.” He offered Bill an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry sweetheart, but we really should let an expert take a look at it, just to be on the safe side. Joel knows his stuff, after all.”

As he reached for your glass, you quickly placed your hand over the top of it and lightly shook your head. “Oh, none for me tonight, thank you,” You declined politely. The wine was normally your favorite part of any meal they hosted, seeing as Bill and Frank, who were both quite the wine enthusiasts, knew how to make the most heavenly of pairings. It really was a fucking shame that it would be at least a few more months before you could drink again. Lord only knew you could use the alcohol after all of the bullshit that had been going on lately with Joel. “May I have a glass of water instead, please?”

“What? You don’t want any wine?” Frank frowned and reached out with his free hand, pressing the back of it against your forehead. “Are you feeling sick or something? Should we be worried? Bill, where’s the reader—?”

You chuckled at his usual dramatic little antics. “No, I’m fine,” You assured him. “I’d just rather stick to water tonight if that’s okay.”

“That’s really fucking weird of you, but alright,” he sang over his shoulder as he disappeared into the kitchen. He returned a minute later with a tall glass of clean, filtered water in his hand and set it down on the table in front of you before taking his seat next to Bill. He picked up his red cloth napkin and draped it gingerly over his lap. “So, tell us again why Tess couldn’t make it tonight?”

“She, uh, she had a few things she needed to take care of back in the QZ,” Joel explained to him briefly before popping a piece of roasted rosemary potato into his mouth. The truth was that Tess had opted to stay behind and sit this one out, stating that the conversation that would eventually take place tonight would be between the four of you. She didn’t need to be there, nor be a part of it.

“Well that’s such a shame. I really miss her,” Frank lamented between bites of his garden salad. “It’s been a while since we’ve all gotten together for a meal. Hell, this is the first time we’ve seen you in what, a couple of months at least, right Bill?”

“Felt like a lot less than that. But sure, let’s call it a couple of months.” Bill eyed Joel suspiciously. “Sounded a bit urgent when you radioed in and let us know you had to come see us tonight, Joel. More so than usual. I’m guessing that you two must really need something from us.”

You and Joel exchanged a silent glance.

“Jesus Bill, can you please not be so rude to them for once?” Frank scolded, waving a hand dismissively at his partner. He smiled apologetically at you and Joel. “Again, please don’t mind him. It seems to me that we still have some work left to do with his manners.” He paused just long enough to take a delicate sip of his wine. He set his glass down, then picked up his fork and knife. “But, if you do happen to need anything, you know that we are more than happy to help you out as best as we can if we have the supplies and resources to spare.”

“Which we don’t,” Bill chimed in, earning himself a light smack to the shoulder.

Joel ignored him and instead focused his attention on Frank. He was the one to win over out of the two. “That’s awfully kind of you, Frank. You know that we always appreciate your warm hospitality,” he remarked, and although he was laying it on a little thick for the sake of getting into his good graces, there was an underlying sincerity in his tone. He actually happened to like Frank—it was hard for anyone not to like him. Joel lifted his glass of wine to him in a toast. “Of all the people we could’ve come across on the radio that day, we’re grateful that it was you.”

Frank touched a hand lightly to his chest. He then picked up his own glass, clinking the rim against Joel’s. “Well, cheers to that.”

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Bill grumbled, shaking his head.

Joel nudged your leg under the table as if to let you know it was time.

On the way up to Lincoln, he had suggested Bill and Frank would be a lot more inclined to agree to yours and his pending request if it came from you. Joel could butter Frank up well enough, but Bill hated his fucking guts, and you probably had a better chance of winning the survivalist over than Joel did.

You cleared your throat lightly, garnering everyone’s attention. “I have some news to share. Well, actually, we have some news to share.”

Bill raised a thick, bushy eyebrow. “What kind of news?”

“News? Is everything okay?” Frank asked, suddenly worried. “Wait. Is it Tess? Is she alright? Did something happen?”

“No, it isn’t anything like that at all. Tess is perfectly fine,” You quickly reassured him, causing him to sink back against his chair in relief. You held your breath for a moment before exhaling it softly through your mouth and announcing, “I’m, um—I’m pregnant.”

Bill nearly choked on his chicken and Frank gasped, both hands flying to his mouth in complete shock. The seconds passed in silence, and the room had gone so quiet that one could have heard a fucking pin drop on the floor. You felt the heat flood to your face and nervously shoved a forkful of baked chicken into your mouth, deciding it would be best to just give them a bit of time to process the news before moving onto phase two. However, Joel wasn’t there to waste any time and decided to step in.

“Listen, I know that this is probably a lot to take in, but we didn’t exactly come over here to share that with you just for shits and giggles. As much as it pains me to say it, Bill is right,” he admitted reluctantly. That was one phrase Joel Miller could do without saying ever again. “Truth is, we do need somethin’ from you two. We’ve got a favor to ask you both, a big one at that.”

That had been enough to slap Bill back into reality.

“Oh no, stop right there! I can see where this is going from a fucking mile away!” He jumped up from his chair, furiously shaking his head as he wagged his index finger at you and Joel. “Listen here, we have been as generous as we can possibly be with the two of you, and with Tess—but there’s got to be a line drawn somewhere and this is it! There is no fucking way in hell that we’re taking you into our home, into our neighborhood! This place belongs to us, we built it, we secured it! We worked our goddamn asses off for all that we have and just because she’s pregnant does not mean we will allow you to—”

“That’s not it.” Though your voice was smaller, softer, it managed to get through to Bill over his angry ranting. “That’s not it at all, Bill. We’re not trying to move here or invade your space like that, I swear it.”

His hand dropped down to his side. “Really?”

“No. Of course not. We know you have boundaries, and so does Frank. And whether you choose to believe it or not, we do our best to respect them as much as we possibly can.”

“Oh.” Bill slowly sank back down to his chair, looking relieved. “Then what is it that you two want? You need baby clothes or baby blankets from the boutique or something?”

“Not exactly,” You mumbled. You took a quick minute to think it over in your head, wondering if there was any correct or tactful way to ask what you were about to ask of them—there wasn’t. It didn’t matter if you spun it a million different ways, Bill was still going to blow a fuse again no matter what. “We wanted to ask you and Frank if you would be willing to take the baby into your care once it’s born.”

And just like that, Bill’s temporary relief vanished.  “I beg your fucking pardon?”

You turned to Joel, saying tightly through your teeth, “A little fucking help here, please?”

“Look. Boston ain’t no fuckin’ place for a child,” Joel started, lifting his hand in an attempt to keep Bill calm this time. “Too much shit’s been goin’ on there lately. Violence has escalated, supplies are gettin’ harder to get and costin’ us more than ever before. So we want to know if you and Frank are willing to take the baby after it’s born. It would be better off here with you two than with us in the QZ.”

Bill didn’t need to think twice about it. He answered Joel with a stern, “Absolutely not.”

Joel let out an irritated sigh and dropped his fork. The utensil clanked loudly against the white porcelain plate. He dropped his face into his hands, rubbing it harshly. “Fuckin’ knew he wasn’t gonna make this easy for us.”

You chewed anxiously on your bottom lip, an overwhelming feeling suddenly washing over your entire body from head to toe. It was strange to feel this way, considering the fact Bill and Frank’s place had always been something of a temporary escape for you. Their neighborhood, their home, it usually brought you a sense of peace and tranquility—you felt comfortable whenever you were here. But between Bill’s angry outburst, his instant decline to your request, and Frank’s wide, shocked eyes still fixed intently on you, you suddenly found yourself wishing you were anywhere but in Lincoln.

“You’re pregnant?” Frank’s incredulous voice broke the silence that had fallen over the dinner table. Part of you wondered how much of the conversation he had even heard or if it had just gone in through one ear and out the other. “You’re really pregnant?”

“Frank,” Bill said his name warningly. “Don’t even think about it.”

Frank ignored him, his attention still on you. “How far along are you?”

You glanced at Joel before turning back to him. “It’s just an estimate, but we’re thinking at this point that I might be about four and a half months, maybe almost five?” You replied with a small shrug of your shoulders. “We aren’t too sure, though.”

“And it’s yours?” Bill questioned, eyeing Joel in disbelief.

Joel glared at him, his aggravated silence speaking for him.

“Oh, Bill.” Frank suddenly turned to him with a hopeful expression. “A baby!”

There had been a couple of different occasions where, while sitting outside on the front lawn enjoying a glass of iced tea in the sunshine, Frank had confessed to both you and Tess of his desire to have a family one day. He acknowledged the chances of that ever happening were virtually impossible, but he admitted that it was something he had been dreaming of since meeting Bill. He wanted to be a father. He wanted a child, and here you were, with one that you couldn’t keep.

“Frank. No.” Bill stared at him, unable to fathom how he could even think that taking in a child could possibly be a good idea. “I’m sorry. You know I try to give you everything that you ask for, but I have to put my foot down this time. I have enough trouble keeping you safe as it is! We’ve had raiders come and try knocking at our door before—”

“And you’ve fought them off,” Joel reminded him. “Successfully.”

“Not to mention, think of all the things we would have to do in order to raise a kid, all the supplies and resources we would use up in just the first year alone—”

“Bill, we know this is a lot to ask of you, of both of you,” You somehow managed to chime in. “We know that a favor like this is one we would never be able to repay you for, not in this lifetime. But it’s this child’s only shot. What kind of life would it have where we live? What kind of future would it have in the QZ?”

“Hm. Sounds like not our fucking problem,” Bill quipped. “Sorry.”

Frank’s eyes left his partner’s and met yours across the table before they fell down to your midsection. “You said you’re about four and a half months?”

You gave him a small nod.

Bill might not have been on board, but you still had Frank.

He was your only hope. 

“Yes, but again, it’s an guess. We don’t want anyone else in the QZ knowing that I’m pregnant, so I haven’t been to see a doctor. But we think it’s a pretty close guess.” Suddenly, an idea came to mind. You hesitated, at first, but knew it was your best shot at finishing the job and reeling Frank in. You slowly stood up from the table and with trembling fingers, you started to unbutton the flannel jacket you were wearing—Joel’s flannel jacket—and showed him the swollen belly you had been hiding underneath it. It was on the smaller side, but still quite prominent underneath a snug-fitting, cotton blue tank top.

“Oh!” Frank breathed out in surprise. He rose to his feet, rushing over and around to your side of the table. He excitedly lifted his hands, but then stopped himself, glancing at you for permission first. “Would it be alright if—?”

“Of course, go right ahead,” You encouraged with a tiny smile as you continued holding the jacket open for him.

Frank sank to his knees in front of you. He lightly cradled the small bump in between his palms, looking up at you with a look of absolute wonder on his face.

It felt bizarre, not only showing your midsection to someone else, but having another set of hands besides your own on it felt foreign as well.

As soon as you’d started showing, Joel had refused to go near you—the way he tried painfully to ignore it caused you to keep it hidden away underneath oversized clothes, even in the privacy of your own quarters.

During the first few weeks of your pregnancy, he’d been just fine. Well, as fine as he could be. But once your belly had popped, it was as if it had all suddenly sunk in and really clicked for Joel—this was one hundred percent fucking real now and that was his baby growing inside of you. Since that moment, he hadn’t quite been himself, at least not with you.

Joel still looked out for you, of course. He didn’t dote sweetly on you and shower you with affection, but he did take responsibility in the ways that mattered. He made sure that you were taking the prenatal vitamins Tess had found for you, he made sure that you were eating enough, and if he ever noticed that you were still hungry, he would shovel his own portion onto your plate without asking and head off to sleep on an empty stomach. He helped you out whenever you were assigned to the same work detail, taking on an extra load of work on top of his own if it meant sparing you from even the slightest risk of straining yourself or over exerting your body.

Sure, he still cared for you. He wouldn’t do any of that if he didn’t.

But that didn’t mean things between you hadn’t changed.

They had.

Drastically.

Joel kept his distance from you, physically. He hadn’t fucked you, kissed you, or so much as even touched you in the last couple of months. He’d even started sleeping on the couch, leaving you to sleep alone in your once shared bed. Whenever he spoke to you, he stood at least a few feet away, and his eyes always remained trained on your face—he took especially great care to not look at your growing stomach. You could briefly recall one morning when you’d squeezed past him in the kitchen to grab a mug from the sink while he’d been making his morning coffee; when your belly accidentally brushed against his hand, he had cringed, snatching it away from you as if he’d touched something unpleasant. Deep down, you knew this was his own twisted, fucked up way of coping with how he was feeling, but it still didn’t stop you from wishing that he’d quit acting as if you and the baby were the fucking plague.

 As much as you tried to deny it, the way Joel had been treating you lately hurt you. It cut you deep, down to your very core. You put on a good front for him and Tess, though, acting as if none of it bothered you. But the tears that you shed on the nights they left you alone to go out on their runs were endless.

“Oh Bill,” Frank glanced pleadingly over his shoulder at his partner, his hands still on your stomach. “Please.”

“Frank—”

“Please.”

Bill couldn’t refuse Frank a majority of the time. But this was bigger than anything he’d ever asked of him and it was going to take more than his usual amount of convincing to get him to agree.

Bill scoffed, narrowing his eyes at you. “Let me guess. You want us to take this baby in and you want us to clothe it, feed it, and protect it. You want us to do the real work of raising it, using up our supplies and resources. And then what? You two come along to play mommy and daddy whenever you fucking feel like it?”

You shuffled from foot to foot, wincing slightly at his harshness. “No, of course not.”

Joel wasn’t all too fond of Bill’s tone towards you. He leaned forward, throwing him a warning glare across the table. “She’d like to visit,” he informed him, keeping his temper under control. He knew better than to go off on Bill, not when you were still trying to convince him to do you both the favor of a fucking lifetime. “Every now and again, just to see the kid. But we think it’s best if we do a closed adoption, if you wanna call it that. You and Frank are the parents, and we’re just a couple of friends who come by and visit daddy and daddy every now and again for lunch.”

“Right, and you really want me to believe that there’s no chance she’s going to be attached to this baby after carrying it for nine months?” Although Bill was facing and speaking directly to Joel, it was obvious he was indirectly grilling you. And here Joel thought the man might have had something of a soft spot for you. “Think about it, Joel. You don’t think one day she might waltz in here and decide she wants to take it back? Break Frank’s heart when he has to give up a child he’s going to undoubtedly fall in love with?”

Anger simmered underneath your skin, bubbling in your veins at the insinuation that you could ever do something to hurt Frank. “First of all, stop talking about me like I’m not in the fucking room, alright? I’m standing right here, so fucking look me in the face if you’re going to talk about me.” You seethed. Frank stood up and placed his hand on your shoulder in an effort to calm you, but it was too late. “This isn’t a fucking game, Bill. This isn’t a decision that we made on a whim or that we’re taking lightly. Me and Joel are just trying to do right by this child. If you and Frank agree to take it in as your own, it’s all yours. I’m not going to take it back,” You practically spat. “Once it’s done, it’s fucking done.”

“Alright, alright. I’m going to need you to just take a deep breath and relax before you bring on early labor in the middle of my dining room.” Frank gently guided you until you were sitting back in one of the chairs and handed you your untouched glass of water. He waited patiently as you took a few sips and then took the glass from your hand, setting it back down on the table. “Listen, before we decide anything, I just have to ask—is this really what you want to do? This is a decision that you made, right? No one is making you do this?” He noticed Joel raise his eyebrows at what he was suggesting, and before he could chime in, Frank quickly added, “I just need to hear it from her, Joel.”

“This is what’s best,” You answered honestly, feeling a dull ache in your heart that had become all too familiar. “I have spent so many long nights lying in bed just thinking this over. We don’t have any other choice, not if we want it to have a chance at a decent life. That is what I want, Frank. For it to have a chance at a decent life.”

“This child is gonna grow up and want to know who its parents are,” Bill pointed out. “Thought about that at all?”

“Use your imagination,” Joel remarked before taking a quick sip of wine. “Make somethin’ up. Lie. Tell it you found it in a basket floating down the fuckin’ river. Whatever it takes. We don’t ever want the kid to know it’s us.”

“Going to be kind of hard if it comes out looking like your clone.” Bill gestured to you with a nod of his head. “Or hers.”

“It’ll be a long, long time before this child is even old enough to notice things like who he or she looks like,” You released a little scoff, tired of him using any reason he could think of to stand against it. “Bill, please. Can’t you at least think about it for the next few weeks and at least consider it?”

“No.”

Your face fell. 

Motherfucker really wasn’t going to budge.

“Well now, wait just a second.” Frank walked over to him and put his hands on his burly shoulders. “Bill, think about it. This is our chance.” He squeezed his shoulders. “To have a family. A real family.”

“Family? It’s not our fucking kid—it’s not a part of me or you.”

“But we’ll love it like it is! Blood isn’t what makes a family. Love is,” he reminded him softly.

You swallowed back the lump that had risen in your throat.

Bill might have been a stubborn jackass, but you knew that Frank would show him how to be a good father. He had already shown him how to be an amazing, loving partner.

“So?” Joel prompted. He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back into his chair.

Bill scowled at him. He said nothing as he reached for his glass of wine, chugging every last drop in one long gulp before he stood up and stalked out of the dining room.

Frank had his answer.

And so did you and Joel.

As the next several weeks turned into months, pregnancy—and your ever ongoing attempts at hiding it from everyone in the Boston QZ—had really started to take its toll on you, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Joel had given you all but his entire wardrobe, helping to keep your condition hidden as well as possible, but it was taking a hell of a lot more than just his jackets and shirts to keep it a secret. When you entered your third trimester, you were starting to struggle immensely with work detail, finding it more and more difficult to keep up with what authorities expected of you. Everything ached—your feet, your back, and even the hairs on your fucking head were hurting, and yet you were forced to carry on with your daily duties as best you could to avoid raising any suspicions.

“Frank said it might be best if you gave birth at their place,” Joel commented over dinner one night. Tess was out doing a solo run, and it had just been the two of you for the last couple of days. Lately, you almost wished she would stop leaving you alone with Joel. Ever since that night at Bill and Frank’s, he had been acting a lot colder towards you, more than ever before. He could hardly look at you most days. Before, he could at least stand to look at your face. Now, there wasn’t a single part of you that his eyes could meet. “As soon as you start feelin’ off, we’re gonna need to get you over to them. Frank talked Bill into lettin’ you stay for a few days if it comes down to it and you need some time to heal.”

You simply nodded, your gaze fixed on the torn paper napkin in front of you. “Okay.”

He bit into his piece of jerky, his eyes also glued to the table. Out of his peripheral vision, he could see that you’d finished your portion already. He reached out, dropping his piece in front of you onto your napkin. “Need to eat more,” he grumbled. He picked up his glass of whiskey, polishing it off before pouring himself another. 

You couldn’t stand it.

You couldn’t fucking take it anymore.

“Joel.” You said his name in a smaller voice than what you had been aiming for. “Can we talk?”

He racked his brain for the first bullshit excuse he could think of. “It can wait. S’real late and we need to get to bed soon. We got early work orders tomorrow.”

“No, Joel, actually, it can’t fucking wait.” Your heart was pounding at a rate that felt far too fast for your body and you tried to remind yourself to remain calm. You knew you needed to keep your emotions in check, or else your distress could cause distress to the baby. “We need to talk. Now.”

Joel drew an impatient breath. “Talk ‘bout what, exactly?”

“About how you’ve been acting over the last few months.” Your voice trembled and you almost kicked yourself for it. The last thing that you needed to do was fucking crumble. “And about the way you’ve been treating me, too. You’ve been keeping your distance from me, acting like I’m some kind of—I’ve seen you cringe a lot less when dumping the infected bodies into the fire pits, let’s just put it that way.”

“Those pregnancy hormones,” he released a short, bitter laugh. “Got you bein’ all dramatic.”

“I am not being dramatic.” Your hands curled into tiny fists. “You won’t talk to me. You won’t touch me. You won’t even fucking look at me anymore! I’m sick of it, Joel.”

“It’s nothin’,” he replied dismissively, shrugging his shoulders. He looked down into his whiskey, feigning a sudden interest in the rich amber hues in his glass.

“Nothing?” You repeated, flabbergasted. “Then why haven’t you slept in our bed with me? Hm? Oh that’s right, because you can’t fucking stand to be that close to me! You’d rather break your back on that old fucking couch rather than sleep next to me.” 

Joel’s jaw clenched, his grip around his glass tightening. “Listen, I ain’t doin’ this right now, alright?”

“Joel.” You hesitated. If you crossed this line and pushed one too many of his buttons, there was no fucking going back. “I know that you’re afraid, okay?”

“I ain’t afraid,” he countered through gritted teeth. Finally, he brought himself to look up at you, his eyes meeting yours—that same emotion that he’d just denied was right there behind them as clear as the fucking stars in the sky outside. Joel wasn’t made of stone. He wasn’t any kind of special exception to having normal human feelings. He hid everything pretty well, and because you cared about him, you were willing to put up with his asshole façade because he needed you as much as you needed him. Still, even after years of trying to take the wall he’d built down brick by brick with your bare hands, you hadn’t gotten very far and you wished the man would help you out every now and again and throw you a fucking hammer. “Ain’t no reason for me to be afraid. I ain’t the one who’s fuckin’ pregnant.”

“It’s yours too! This is your baby too, Joel. Your child. It is part of you, just as much as it is a part of me. And ever since day fucking one, you have been scared shitless of it,” You confronted him, another trembling edge coming to your voice. “And I know why, okay? I know that what happened to Sarah—”

Joel froze, going rigid in his seat. His free hand had curled into a fist, his tight knuckles turning ghost white.

It was something of an unspoken rule. 

Nobody talked about Sarah.

Hell, the only reason you even knew about his daughter was because you’d accidentally stumbled upon an old polaroid of her while washing his jeans in the kitchen sink one morning. You had found it in one of the back pockets while cleaning them out, the photograph heavily creased as if he spent ample amounts of time folding it open and then folding it closed again. Sarah’s name had been scribbled on the back of the polaroid. Her smile, her nose, it was all Joel, and it had taken you less than sixty seconds to realize the young teenaged girl posing goofily in the picture had been his daughter.

When you’d handed the picture to him while his jeans dried, it was like a silent bomb had detonated. Although it’d been a mere accident on your part, Joel had been so incredibly angry with you, as if you had gone snooping through his past life on purpose. For weeks, he hadn’t said a single word to you unless it had something to do with work or a run.

He’d lost her. He hadn’t told you that, but you’d guessed it.

Whether it was to infection or something else, you didn’t know. And you knew better than to ask him. All you knew was that losing her had done something irreparable to Joel Miller. Whoever he’d been before losing his daughter was dead too.

“Don’t,” he warned, his voice strained. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

“Joel, please,” You whispered. “Whatever happened to her, you can’t possibly keep it to yourself for the rest of your life. You can talk to me about Sarah—”

Joel slammed his curled fist down onto the table, startling you. He then turned in his chair and flung his glass at the wall behind him, the sound of it shattering into hundreds of pieces echoing throughout the small apartment. Jumping to his feet, he pointed a threatening finger in your face. “Don’t you ever utter her fuckin’ name ever again! You understand me?”

“But Joel—”

“Do you fuckin’ understand me?”

“I understand.” You hardly recognized the squeak that left your lips.

“Go to bed. Now,” he ordered, whirling around on his heel. “It’s fuckin’ late.”

Without another word, Joel stalked over towards the couch and dropped onto it, rolling over onto his side so his back was to you.

You pulled the neckline of his shirt that you wore over your mouth and pressed your palm against it in an effort to muffle a sob.

A few hours later into the middle of the night, Joel had awakened and stood up from the couch only to find you sitting there in the exact same spot where he’d left you at the table. Though it was dark in the apartment, the moonlight that shone through the torn curtains over the window illuminated your face and he could see you hadn’t stopped crying since he’d fallen asleep.

“Y’need to go lay down,” he told you quietly.

You knew this tactic all too well.

His way of apologizing for losing his shit on you without actually apologizing.

“I’m fucking fine right where I am,” You snapped stubbornly in response, quickly dabbing at your damp eyes with the back of your hand. That was a downright lie. Your lower back was on fire from having sat in the chair for so long.

Joel sighed, hanging his head. He knew he’d fucked up. He’d been fucking up for the last several months. He pulled a chair around in front of yours and sat down, his knee touching yours lightly. That alone was enough to send a chill throughout your body. “Sittin’ in that chair for too long ain’t good for your back,” he stated. He waited to see if you would speak and when you didn’t reply a couple minutes later, he sighed again. “Look, I’m real sorry about earlier, alright? Hell, I’m sorry for everythin’. You were right, I’ve been treatin’ you like shit and you definitely don’t deserve it.”

Stunned, you looked up at him.

“I was angry, but I shouldn’t have lashed out on you the way that I did. Much less while you’re in this condition.” He paused, reaching up to rub his face tiredly with one of his hands. He then let it fall back down to his thigh with a loud slapping sound. “It’s a sore spot for me, alright? Always has been and always will be. Nothin’ or no one is goin’ to change that, not ever. Not even you,” he admitted, shoulders sagging as if the realization had just come to him. “You know you mean somethin’ special to me. You know I care about you, and you know you’re what has kept me goin’ these last few years. I’d do just about anythin’ for you. But I need you to respect that I don’t wanna talk about her and I don’t want you bringin’ her up. She is from my past and that is where I need to leave her.”

“But why?” You frowned, wiping a stray tear that had fallen away from your cheek. “That’s not fair to you or to her. She doesn’t deserve to be forgotten about.”

“That what you think it is? That I’m tryin’ to forget about her? Impossible. Not a single day goes by that I don’t think of her.”

You placed your hands down onto your lap and started wringing them together anxiously. “It’s not that I think you’re trying to forget about her, Joel. But you refusing to talk about her, it’s erasing her memory, whether you think of it that way or not.” Noticing him wince at your words, you wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him—stroke his cheek, hold his hand. But you were finally getting somewhere and you knew better than to move too fast, so you willed yourself to keep your hands to yourself. “And besides that, you aren’t doing yourself any favors by keeping her story a secret. You’ve been carrying the weight of whatever happened to her on your shoulders for what, almost two decades now?”

“It’s my burden to carry, alright?”

“You shouldn’t have to carry it alone.” Your expression softened. It dawned on you. You’d thought you knew how much pain Joel had been in for all these years, but the honest truth was that you didn’t have the slightest clue. You didn’t know how bad he was actually hurting—and that killed you inside. “You need to talk about it, Joel. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But someday.”

“No. I can’t—”

“Don’t you trust me?”

Joel almost seemed offended that you’d even ask such a thing. “Of course I fuckin’ trust you.”

“Then why won’t you let me in, Joel?” A fresh batch of tears brimmed your eyes, and you blinked them back furiously before they could fall. “After everything that we’ve been through together. I’m carrying your fucking child for god’s sake.”

He didn’t answer. Tearing his gaze away from you, he looked straight ahead at the wall in front of him.

“Joel.”

Silence.

“Joel. Come on. Can you just fucking look at me, please?”

Nothing.

You let out a long, sad sigh of defeat. So much for getting somewhere. “Alright. Fine.” You placed a hand on your stomach and stood up from your chair. “I’m heading to bed. See you in the morning.”

As you padded over towards your mattress, Joel’s voice stopped you dead in your tracks. “Sarah was my daughter.”

Slowly, you turned around, your lips parted slightly.

“Pretty sure you knew that already though,” he chuckled in spite of himself. “She was fourteen years old. Her mom walked out on us when she was just a baby. I spent her entire life raising her by myself. Tommy, well, he was around too, but he was more of a bad influence than anythin’ and sometimes it felt like I was lookin’ after two kids instead of one.”

You walked back over to him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Joel reached up and took your hips in his hands, carefully pulling you down to sit on his lap.

“No Joel, I’m way too heavy.” Embarrassed, you quickly tried standing up.

“You think you’re heavy?” He snorted lightly, holding you firmly in place. “If anythin’, you could stand to have a bit more meat on your bones bein’ almost nine months pregnant and all.”

“Blame my nutritious, nourishing diet of jerky and stale crackers.” The sarcasm dripped from your tone. 

He let out something in between a snort and a laugh.

You couldn’t help but smile a little and draped an arm around his shoulders.

How you’d missed this. Missed him.

You leaned into him, resting your head in the crook of his neck. For the next several minutes, Joel just held you.

Just when you were beginning to wonder how long the silence would last, he broke it.

“I’m not ready to talk ‘bout what happened to her,” he explained, quietly. “Might not be ready for a long, long time. Not sure if I’ll ever be ready, if you want the honest truth. Sarah, she was my sweet little butterfly. The absolute love of my fuckin’ life. Losin’ her was the worst fuckin’ thing that has ever happened to me. It’s a wound that’s still raw as hell, even after all these years. Might even be one of those wounds that just never heals, you know?”

You lifted your head from his shoulder, your hand going to his hair. You ran your fingers through it, amazed how even after going days without a wash, it always stayed so soft. “I know you don’t want me to say that I’m sorry—”

“I really fuckin’ don’t,” Joel confirmed with a shake of his head. “Won’t change shit. Won’t bring her back. Sure as hell won’t make me feel any better.”

“Then I won’t say it.” You brought your hand back down to your lap and leaned forward. You pressed your lips against his forehead, letting them linger. He stiffened, and you could feel him restraining himself from completely melting into your touch. You knew things would take a little time and you were willing to be as patient as you needed to be for him.

“Losin’ another child—” Joel trailed off, voice hoarse. “I just—I can’t.”

“I know,” You soothed him. “Which is why we’re doing the right thing and letting Bill and Frank take him.”

“Him?”

You offered him a small, tired smile. It really was getting late now and the exhaustion was creeping in. “I haven’t had the chance to tell you. But I think it’s a boy.”

“And how the hell could you possibly fuckin’ know that?”

You shrugged. “Just a gut feeling. Tess thinks it’s a boy too. She says with the way I’m carrying, it must be—” You stopped, doubling over in pain. “Fuck. Ouch.”

Alarmed, Joel’s hand found the small of your back, the other was in front of you, making sure you didn’t fall over off of his lap. “What? What is it?”

“The baby just kicked me.” You grimaced, leaning back into a sitting position. “Right in damn the ribs too. And there goes another one.” You exhaled sharply, the discomfort radiating throughout your body. “Jesus. He must take after you with all the violence.”

Joel seemed a bit stunned. “This the first time it’s ever kicked?”

“No. He’s done it a few times before. But never this much in one sitting. Or this hard.” You winced. “He’s really fighting in there.”

Joel just stared at you, something that looked a bit like awe in his eyes.

Through the slight pain, you raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you want to feel him?”

“Oh I don’t think, uh, I don’t think I should—”

“It’s not going to fucking kill you, Joel.”

He hesitantly lifted his hand. “Where—where do I put it?”

“Here.” You took his hand in both of yours and placed it on the side of your round midsection. “Just give it a second. You’ll feel it right here.”

You watched his face carefully. He jumped slightly once he’d felt the fluttering motion against the palm of his hand, his dark eyes going wide.

Even before the outbreak, Joel never thought he’d feel something like that again in his life.

“He’s strong,” he murmured. “Real strong.”

“I know. Wonder where he got that from,” You joked lightly.

Moving his hand away, Joel placed it on your thighs and awkwardly cleared his throat. “It’s, uh, it’s pretty late. You really do need to get some sleep.”

“Okay. But on one condition.”

“What condition?”

“Will you come to bed with me?”

“‘Course.” He stood up, letting out a small, labored grunt as he lifted you up into his arms.

“I told you I’m heavy,” You reminded him with a laugh. “Joel, put me down. This cannot possibly be good for your back.”

“Oh, shut up.” Joel walked over, gingerly placing you down onto the mattress. He waited for you to get comfortable before climbing in behind you, pulling a wool blanket over both of your bodies. He pulled your back against his chest and draped his arm around you, his hand subconsciously—instinctively—resting on your stomach. His lips found the delicate spot behind your ear and he pressed his lips gently against it, sending a small shiver up your spine.

“Joel?”

“Hm?” He mumbled into your ear. He was already falling asleep.

They were right there, right on the tip of your tongue, those three words that you had been aching to say to him for years.

I love you.

“Nevermind.” You sighed softly. “Goodnight.” 

“Mm, g’night,” he murmured, nuzzling his nose into your neck before allowing his sleep to consume him.

[pinkyqil]

could you do frido + "you promised you would protect me"

You promised

Pairing: frido x reader

A/n: this is going to be a two part cause I'm not cut for one long fics maybe in the future anyway get comfy cause this fic is about to be a something, love y'all and hope you enjoyed reading this and feel free to send in suggestions on what you'll like to see 🫶🏾

Warning: toxic relationship, vulgar language, angsty, naive reader and a reminder that everything is fictional aka made up so yeah

The first few months of your relationship with frido was amazing she was always there and attentive. to your needs and being the best partner she could be for you.

You also doing the same trying to be a good and caring girlfriend to her building a solid relationship.

It was all amazing at first the being inlove effects that's how your friends called it.

Everything started out with when frido would make empty promises to you and would never fili them and would make you random excuses.

You knew that her job as a footballer had a lots of requirements like travel games,away games,late practices or anything in general but you where honestly getting tried of her white lies that were turning into an unfaithful truth so you decived yourself into believing them.

You knew it was wrong and you should let her know about her actions but you loved her too much to try and ruin what you both have going on so you let yourself believe her. Not knowing things would take a trun for the worst.

You both went from having date night every three weeks to now I don't have time or let's reschedule which never happens. It was always lies ontop of lies, unfiled prom. But you always found yourself supporting her no matter the circumstances.

Your last straw was today frido was supposed to take you out for dinner at your favorite restaurant.

You had already gotten ready and arrived at the restaurant waiting on frido who stil hasn't arrived. You decided to give her the benefit of doubt thinking that she was stuck in traffic but one hour turned into three and you've had enough and decided to leave the restaurant.

Unexpectedly it started raining as if your day couldn't get get any worse.

you felt an unknown presence behind and decided to pick up your pace but it was no use cause you definitely knew that you were being followed.

You managed to hurry up your speed and get your phone out and dial frido number excepting her to answer but it kept going on too voice mail.

Feeling scared and vulnerable you ran as fast as you could've getting into the first taxi that you saw after managing to escape that scary situation.

Finally arriving to your apartment you saw frido laying down on the couch staring at the tv doing absolutely nothing. you felt angry and heartbroken cause the woman you loved. just kept breaking your heart over and over again and you stil stayed making a fool of yourself.

"What the fuck frido is this what you've been doing while I waited for you at a restaurant for four fucking hours while you lay there?". You asked her raising your voice a bit.

"Baby what are you talking about?".

"Oh please don't start with you baby bullshit you can't seem to tell me that you forgot nine months anniversary and that you promised to take me out but you fuck up as always with your empty promises". You said feeling tears dripping down your face.

"I didn't know that it was toda-".

"Oh please that your excuse for everything the one time that I needed you you failed me but I'm always there for you but you never".

"Baby please I promise to change tell me what you want me to do and I promise to do it abd change my ways".

"No frido there's no more promise I'm done this we're fucking over so please get out". You told her pointing out at the door.

"Please baby I'll change it never going to happen again". She said

"Oh no you had plenty of opportunities to change but never did so get out". You fully yelled at her.

Sliding down the door as you wachted frido leaving the place you both shared. You felt hurt and betrayed how could she have done this to you and the moment you called her out on it she talking.

about trying to change knowing it was to late for your love.

[fallingdownhell]

Hello!! If your requests are open do you have any plans on writing something similar to genshin men forgetting your birthday but with different characters? :D maybe diluc and/or kaeya for example

Sure can do! Angst will always be my favourite!

Characters Included: Diluc; Kaeya

Content: gender neutral reader; hurt/no comfort; angst; the boys don't realize their mistakes; cursing; not proofread yet

Word count: 1,3k words

Enjoy the heartbreak<3

Diluc

Being with Diluc was exhausting sometimes. And sometimes, it felt like you were in no relationship to begin with. You knew that protecting the city and it's people was important to Diluc, but.. sometimes you just wished to be his number one...

Sometimes, you really wonder how you managed to stay in this relationship for three long years without any issue.. then again, its not like it has always been this way.

The first two years were amazing. Diluc was an attentive lover, always concerned about your well being, that you felt comfortable with him. Only recently did that seem to change. He had less and less time for you, always coming back home in the dead of night and left before you woke up in the morning.

You tried to deal with it somehow, since talking to him about it was apparently no option, seeing as he always pushed you away when you tried approaching the topic with him.

But today... today might just be your last straw..

In all the three years with him, Diluc has always made it a point to make your birthday a most special occaison. Telling you weeks in advance to clear this day up since he wanted to spend it with you. He always planned something different, but you loved it each time.

This year, however, nothing came from him. No notice to keep your calender clean, nothing.

You thought, that when you spotted him in bed next to you this morning, maybe you just thought wrong and he wanted to surprise you.

But when he woke up, no words of gartulations left his mouth. Instead, he simply got up, got dressed and went out again, but not before telling you that he would be back for dinner tonight.. which was a rare occaison as well.

You tried so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt.. going about your day at the mansion, going on a walk in the nice, afternoon soon as people from the Dawn Winery congratulated you for your special day. You thanked them, while trying to keep your composure.

Nothing meant anything to you when the person closest to you didn't remember it themselves...

Night came, and with it came dinner time. Adelinde took the time out of her day to prepare a full on five course meal, all consisting of your favourite dishes. You told her multiple times that this wasn't necessary at all, but she wouldn't have it. So, as fate would have it, you were now enjoying the food... however, alone.

Diluc has yet to show up, but not wanting to let the food get cold, you decided to just start eating.

Later on, you realized that the dissapointment washing over you didn't even face you anymore, having expected this outcome already.

So, you ate quietly, until the door to the mansion opened, revealing the owner of Dawn Winery himself.

"Diluc!", you exlaimed, standing up from your seat, a smile on your lips. He came after all...

But he immediately put a damper on your mood as he raised his hand, a deep sigh escaping him as he threw his coat off.

"Please, not now, (name). I'm exhausted."

With that, he went directly for the staircase, not even acknowloding anything else around him.

"But.. don't you wanna join in for dinner? There's a lot left and-!"

"I said, not now!", he suddenly yelled at you.

You were shocked, looking at him like a deer caught in headlight. Regret briefly washed over him for raising his voice at you, but he chose not to say anything. Instead, he turned around again and made his way up the stairs where he immediately went into his office, looking himself away from you again.

You watched after him, slumping back into your chair as he was out of sight. You tried so desperately to hold back your tears but they came crashing out of you as soon as you saw Adelinde leave the kitchen, a big birthday cake in her hands.

She gave you a weak, sympathetic smile as she sat down next to you on a chair, patting your back gently as you let the dissapointment sink in..

Kaeya

You were maneuvering your way through the many people in your living room, trying to get to your balcony, hoping to get some fresh air and clear your thoughts.

Lisa planned this whole thing perfectly. Keeping you busy the entire day with her while everyone else was preparing your surprise birthday party in your home.

You had not expected anything like that, especially not after the dissapointment you recieved this morning already. Kaeya has never once failed to remember any special day during your relationship. Be it a birthday, an anniversary or anything like that. You never had to remind him, he just always knew and was prepared.

So, naturally, you didn't feel the need to remind him that your birthday was coming up, thinking that he was already aware of that fact.

However, when you woke up this morning, everything was far too normal. He was still sleeping beside you, cuddling with you for a few more minutes, before you both got up and he left for work.

No congratulations, no gift, no nothing. He didn't say anything at all...

You were feeling kinda down after that, slumping around in your home.. That's when Lisa came over and practically forced you out the house. She congratulated you, then took you shopping, to lunch and so on.

She kept you busy the entire day and the incident with you boyfriend went farther and farther to the back of your mind.

That was, until you returned back to your house. Suddenly, the lights switched on before you could even do anything. People jumping out from all around, yelling "Surprise!", at you, while laughing at your flabbergasted reaction.

A surprise party.. now Lisa's behaviour made sense to you. Your mood lightened up, thinking that it must have been Kaeya's doing and planning.

You thanked everyone that came up to congratulate you, making small talk with them while trying to scan the people for your boyfriend. When you didn't see him anywhere, you went to ask Lisa about him, but she said she had no idea where he was..

This dampened your mood again, so you decided to get some fresh air, maybe that would help cool you off again.

As you were outside on the balcony, you saw Kaeya approaching your shared home. Excited, you went inside again to meet him at the front door. But when you opened it, you were met with a seemingly bad mood from your boyfriend.

Before you could ask him what was going on, he already started complaining. "Seriously? Are you for real?"

"What?", you just said, confused on what he meant. But that just seemed to frustrate Kaeya even more.

"So, everyone leaves work, leaving all of it for me to deal with, just because you decided to throw a fucking party? I've had a fucking exhausting day, (name). How do you expect me to relax with this many people here, huh?"

"I-It wasn't my-!"

"Oh, don't give me that crap! Who else if not you would plan such a thing, and in our house as well? You know what, I'm gonna leave. I'll sleep somewhere else for the night!"

And before you could say anything else, he had already turned on his heels and was walking away. You had no idea what this was about and what caused his outburst..

You were so confused about what was going on, but you felt the tears running down your face as you fell on your knees right there at the open front door while the party was still going behind you...

[imagining-in-the-margins]

CM New Beginnings Fics

Hey everyone! Thank you so much to everyone who participated. I am so happy to share everyone’s hard work. If you have a oneshot or masterlist you’d like me to add, please send me a message - new additions are always welcome.

First, check out @emberfrostlovesloki 's 🌈 Masterlist of Entries ☀️: This lovely prolific writer has entered several fics, which include Hotch, Emily, and Spencer fics! Check out their page for even more!

🌼 SFW S.R./Reader Entries 🌼

Play Dates by me: [GN] Reader finds out Spencer hasn’t had many dates and offers several Play Dates.

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by @foxy-eva: [GN] Spencer was the right person at the wrong time, no doubt about it. When Reader is finally back in town, they're ready for a fresh start. 

You're Gonna Go Far, Love by @writer-in-theory: [GN] After relapsing, Spencer takes the first flight with no plan other than to get a fresh start.

Love Like the Sea by @rynwritesreid: [GN] After Spencer lost Maeve, he swore of love, until Reader came around.

Cowboy Like Me by @foxy-eva: [Fem] Spencer decides to fulfill a childhood dream to become a cowboy.

In Sickness and In Health by @pathologicalreid: [Fem] Minutes before Reader's wedding is supposed to start, Spencer gets cold feet.

Maybe We Found Love Right Where We Are by @andiebeaword: [Fem] Spencer just got engaged to Maeve on Valentine’s Day. Finding out his best friend’s heart will be broken changes things. 

More ratings and pairings below!

🌼 Other Pairings/Gen SFW Fics 🌼

Silent Demon by @angellsell: [Derek/Fem!Reader] Reader celebrates a month milestone of sobriety, but she isn't very proud of it.

Hearts on Our Sleeves by @angellsell: [Hotch/Fem!Reader] Aaron and Reader decide to give a try at a new relationship after a long dry spell.

Good Fortune by @reasonablerodents: [Hotchreid] Spencer and Aaron are the only ones without a partner for a New Year's Kiss.

And When Dawn Came by @snarkylinda: [Gen] Spencer calls Emily the night that Cat has the baby he decided to adopt.

The Date by @codename-mom: [Gen] Jessica didn't expect what her former brother-in-law was going to ask her.

Last Recruit by @/codename-mom: [Gen] There's a new agent at the BAU eager to start her new life. Her name is Penelope Garcia.

First Steps by @/codename-mom: [Gen] Rossi found a young agent named Aaron Hotchner who could be a good new recruit for the BAU.

First Day at School by @/codename-mom: [Gen] Jack is now old enough to go at school and his father has trouble to deal with this very special day.

🌼 NSFW Entries (S.R./Fem!R) 🌼

Second Time's a Charm by @foxy-eva: Back in college Spencer Reid and Fem!Reader left many things unsaid. Years later they give it another try.

It’s Too Cliché by me: Reader and Spencer are the worst at friends with benefits. After an exchange of gifts & nasty words, the two reunite on a very eventful NYE.

For the Love of Lace by @reidmotif: Reader decides she doesn't want to pine for her best friend anymore but needs his help deciding what lingerie to wear for her date.

Sweet Agony by @incognit0slut: After tragedy, Reader believed she was unworthy of love. Spencer proves her wrong.

Maybe Someday by @dudeitiskarev: (Mini-series) A case brought you back to Spencer, and this time, he won’t let you slip away.

Co-Creator Bonus List

🌼 SFW S.R./Fem!R Fics 🌼

The Only Hoax I Believe In by Foxy: Spencer struggles with his addiction after prison until Reader is determined to help him, no matter the cost.

The Perfect Plan by me: Reader has a question for Spencer, but things don’t go according to plan.

Impromptu by me: Reader learns some shocking news when a case lands her in the hospital.

Defining Family by me: Spencer finds out he’s a dad… to a twelve year old girl. Your twelve year old girl, who just broke into the FBI.

Clean Shaven by me: Reader helps Spencer shave after prison.

Drunk Dial by me: It’s been years since Reader talked to Spencer, but after a bunch of drinks it seems like a really good idea.

Repentance by me: Spencer is confronted with his second chance at life, finding it full of regrets. Reader tries to talk him through it.

Happy Hydrangea by me: TransMan!Reader. JJ is corrected in finding out Spencer has had a boyfriend for a while now.

🌼 NSFW S.R./Fem!R Fics 🌼

Lily of the Valley (Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3) by me: Unsub!Reid. Spencer was found guilty but mentally ill after the torture and murder of several men. He finds solace in his psychiatrist at the institution.

Duet by Foxy: Letting the love of his life get away was Spencer’s biggest regret, so he decides to go after her.

Honeymoon by Foxy: Spencer and his wife are excited about their future (and their honeymoon).

To Have and To Hold by me: Reader is trying to save her marriage, but Spencer seems resigned to its failure.

Stork Song by me: Spencer and Reader try to find intimacy again following a terrible loss.

Domesticity by me: Reader gets worked up watching Spencer with kids. He notices.

Different Kind of Daddy by me: After a rough day, Reader has good news for her husband.

🌼 Other SFW Pairings 🌼

Till Death Do Us Part by Foxy: [Emily/GN!Reader] Reader didn't expect grief to linger after Emily came back from the dead.

Motherhood by Foxy: [Tara/Emily] Emily and Tara finally become mothers.

Happy Reading!

P.S. If I missed your fic or you have a new one to add, feel free to send me a message. I would love to add it!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for refusing to help my friend out financially after they got a new dog even though they need financial help often and are currently in debt?

Everyone is this story is mid to late 20s.

I have a friend in America who is on social benefits. So I know they don't have a lot of money. I'm also not rich but I earn minimum wage in my country and can afford to pitch in a little sometimes which I don't mind doing generally. I'm also not a big spender at all and I'm able to save up something every month.

In the past I've helped them with buying groceries and even gave them some so they could buy a laptop for art commissions and some games. I don't mind doing that at all. When their old dog got sick I helped out as well. Since I figure some people are going to want to know, in the last 5 years I have given maybe about 2000 dollars.

They got a new dog after the old one passed, which I get. A dog can be a good companion. I did find it a little irresponsible to get a new puppy when they at the time needed several hundred dollars for rent. I told them it might be better to wait until they where no longer in debt with their landlord before getting a new dog. They told me they understood my concern but they got the puppy for free from a friend so it would not be a big deal and they would be able to feed the puppy.

I did tell them puppies can get sick and end up costing a lot more than anticipated but they told me they were willing to take that risk and I decided to not push any further. I had given my opinion and there is not much else I can do. I did tell them not to count on my help financially especially since I had some things of my own that needed fixing and they told me they understood and not to worry.

But then a few weeks later the puppy ate their medicinal weed, which for some reason was within reach of a puppy, and had to get it's stomach pumped and stay overnight at the vet clinic for a few nights.

They came to me and asked if I could help out with the bill and how they would pay me back in part. The bill was over 4000 dollars. I told them sorry but no I can't. First of all, I don't even have that much, I'd have to take out a loan. Second, I warned them this could happen and that I would not be able to help out financially. They seemed a little pissed at that but I just thought it was because of the stress of the situation. They said they would try and get the funds elsewhere and asked me to share it around, which I did.

Unfortunately they didn't manage to get enough to pay the vet and ended up having to give the puppy to a shelter. It's a cute and calm pup so I have no doubt it will be adopted out quickly but it's still sad and I do feel for my friend. But now I'm being blamed for it. I've been getting several angry messages from mutual friends about how I'm the reason my friend lost their emotional support and how I'm the reason they are having a breakdown and suicidal thoughts.

I feel really badly for my friend but I also don't think it's fair to put the blame on me. The reaction from my online friend group makes me feel like I'm missing something that does make me the asshole.

[4ragon]

maybe a klapollo fluffy thing in which Klavier is afraid of meeting Mikeko bc he's heard that cat is a MENACE to anyone but Apollo and Mikeko just... Instantly likes him and bonds with him and that makes Apollo fall in love with Klavier even more (klav is part disney princess don't @ me)

“Alright, and you’re wearing long sleeves, right? I don’t want him scratching up your arms or anything.”

“Ja, for the last time, I am wearing a jacket.”

“And long pants, right? You’re wearing jeans?”

“Nein I thought I’d try cutoffs today, they go so well with my yes I’m wearing jeans.”

“Okay, and if he tries to make a break for it, just, do not let him through the door under any circumstances, alright—”

“Herr Forehead, please, I’m already nervous enough as it is,” Klavier shot back, knuckles white around the phone. “Just…I’ll call you back if anything happens, alright?”

“Right. Okay. Good. Great. Thanks, Klav.” There was a loud bang, and some shouting in the background, and Apollo cursed. “Stupid—whatever! I’ll be there in like an hour. Or two hours. Some amount of hours.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Klavier said. The elevator dinged, and he was on Apollo’s floor. “I’ll make sure Herr Kätzchen doesn’t starve while you’re in transit.”

“Thanks. Alright, bye.”

“Tschüss.” And with that, Apollo was gone.

Leaving Klavier standing outside Apollo’s flimsy apartment door.

Klavier took a breath. Alright. It was just one cat. He could do this, right? He was already supposed to be heading to Apollo’s place today; now he was just flying solo. Not the end of the world.

Klavier fiddled with the new key on his keyring for a second, before finally slipping it into the lock. He unlocked the door slowly, and then, in one fluid motion, he pulled the door open a crack and slipped inside.

Immediately, the cat that was trying to squeeze out into the hallway sprinted away.

“Ach! Sorry, Herr Kätzchen,” Klavier said, quickly locking the door behind him. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

No cat. Klavier glanced around. Well, no disaster so far. “Herr Kätzchen?” he tried, not expecting much. And then, with a shrug, he turned toward the kitchen.

Apollo had warned him this would happen. Mikeko was a bit shy, after all. Or, well, maybe the words had been ‘a complete bastard’ but Klavier decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. No scratching and hissing so far, so that was probably a win.

Klavier strode over to Apollo’s tiny kitchenette. Now, it wasn’t as if the place was very big, there weren’t many places the cat food could be hiding. It took a moment, but finally, Klavier found it on a bottom shelf. He swiped up the bag, turning.

There was a pair of eyes staring at him from part way out from under the couch.

Klavier froze. The cat froze. They stared at each other.

Admittedly, Klavier was a dog person, and had been for a long time. It wasn’t that he didn’t like cats, he just grew up around dogs. He knew dogs. He knew what noises and gestures a dog would make before snapping at his hands. Cats, however, were a mystery.

Said mystery just continued to stare at him. “H-Hallo, Kätzchen,” Klavier greeted, striding over toward the empty food bowl as he shook the bag of food. “Unfortunately, your normal chef is stuck in traffic on the other side of town. Hopefully I’ll do just as good of a job, ja?”

The cat crept closer as Klavier began to fill the bowl, before scurrying over as Klavier straightened up.

“There we go. Hopefully that’s enough.”

The cat ate quickly as Klavier returned the bag to its shelf. Then he sighed, cracking his back and making his way over toward the ratty couch in the middle of the room.

They were supposed to have a date night tonight, but Klavier had a feeling they would just order takeout when Apollo finally got there. Not the worst night he could’ve imagined.

A small mewl at his feet, and Klavier jumped, head snapping down. The cat was looking up at him with big eyes. Klavier froze. Was that good? Bad? Threatening? Friendly. “Kätzchen,” he greeted cautiously.

The cat mewled again.

Klavier glanced around. Was it trying to tell him something? Did he want Klavier to give him more food? Maybe he should let the cat smell his hand, that was what you did for dogs, right? “Do you need something, mein freund?” he asked, carefully holding out his hand.

The cat paused, sniffing Klavier’s hand. And then the cat lunged forward, rubbing its entire face against Klavier’s hand and making a low, rumbling sound.

Klavier froze.

///

“Okay, I’m home!” The door slammed shut behind Apollo as he sighed, hair drooping. “Can’t believe I had to pay for an uber in this mess. I swear, when I fix my bike chain—” And then he froze.

Klavier looked up at him, a look of wonder and panic on his face. Mikeko sat directly on Klavier’s chest, curled up and purring. “Herr Forehead is this good or bad?” he asked weakly.

“How did—wh—” Apollo gaped, mouth opening and closing. “...you little bastard, why the hell do you never want to cuddle me like that?!”

“...the cat or me?”

“Shut it.”

[jjsmaybank20]

Would you be willing to write a carpenter sisters x sibling!reader who struggles with coping after the events of the scream films (nightmares mostly) and the sisters help the reader?

Nightmares

Sam Carpenter x GN!Carpenter!Reader, Tara Carpenter x GN!Carpenter!Reader

Summary: You keep having nightmares, but refuse to go to your sisters for help.

Warnings: Light angst, talk of nightmares, talk of the events of scream 5 & 6.

Word Count: 791

A/N: So so sorry it took so long!

navigation  scream masterlist

---

You thought you were fine after the attacks. Maybe not physically, but at least mentally. You hadn’t been sleeping very well as of late, but that couldn’t be because of the killer that plagued your dreams. You were constantly paranoid, but you swore it wasn’t because of the surprise attack that led to you being stabbed by one of the Ghostfaces. You couldn’t make friends because you would never trust them, but there has to be a reason for that other than being betrayed by two of your best friends and your roommate in the span of two years. 

Even though you tried to hide it, your sisters knew that something was wrong. You wouldn’t talk to them, which made them even more concerned about your wellbeing. They could see the dark bags under your eyes, and they knew you weren’t getting enough sleep. Tara remembers when she was plagued with nightmares every night. It was after the first attack, right when you guys had moved to New York. She didn’t have them as much anymore, but she remembers being in your exact position. She refused to get help, telling herself that she was fine, and to not be a burden. Those were the consequences of living with your mother. You learned to bottle it up. Push it down. Don’t be a burden. 

Sam felt helpless. She thought that you weren’t coming to her for help because you still didn’t trust her, even though she knew that wasn’t the case. Even though that wasn’t the truth, she still had that little voice in the back of her head saying that because she left, you would never fully trust her again. She was finally able to get over this, though, when Tara brought it up as you played one of your noisy video games in your room. If you truly weren’t telling her because of a trust thing, then you would have at least told Tara. Still, the fact that you hadn’t told either of them was concerning all on its own. 

They decided that waiting for you to come to them wasn’t going to work. Trying not to completely spring it on you, the two told you that they had to talk about something. You were suspicious, but you gave them the benefit of the doubt. You were really hoping that this wasn’t about what you thought it was, but you had a nagging feeling that they would be bringing up your lasting nighttime issues. 

As soon as you sat down at the dining room table, your sisters could tell that your hackles were raised. Tara decided to start, knowing that Sam would push too hard too fast.”Y/N, are you doing okay? We’ve been worried about you.” 

Immediately on the defense, you curtly answer, “I’m fine.” 

Sam and Tara share a look, knowing they would have to push a little harder to get you open up to them. “We know you haven’t been sleeping. Please, we can help you.” You begin to protest, ready to fight with them until they leave you alone. But when you look up, you see the pleading look in Tara’s eyes, and the concerned and scared look in Sam’s. You sigh, realizing that this had been going on for too long.

“Okay.” Your sisters look at each other, surprised. They weren’t ready for you to give in that easily. “Okay?”

You nod. “Yeah.” You let out a sigh, calming your nerves. “I’ve been having nightmares lately. Like, really bad, really realistic nightmares. About… you know.” 

Sam lets out a breath. “Why didn’t you come to us?” You look down at the table, feeling guilty. “I didn’t want to burden either of you. I know that you guys are dealing with stuff too, and you don’t want to add my stupid issues on top of that.” Tara’s chest fills with guilt, wishing that she had tried to help you sooner. 

“We’re your family, Y/N. You are allowed to come to us. We want you to come to us.” You finally look up, meeting your sister’s eyes. They see the emotions in your own, prompting them to round the table and wrap you up in their arms. “We love you, okay? And we will always be here for you.”

You nod in acknowledgment, pressing your face further into Sam’s chest. Into her stomach you mumble, “Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Immediately, the brunette agrees. “Of course. You can sleep with me whenever you want. My room is always open to you, honey. Always.” She can’t see the smile on your face, but Sam can feel it. A similar smile breaks out on her own face. 

It may take some work, but you guys would be alright.

---

@alotofpockets @t-wylia @hehehehannahthings @ampitrit3 @didyoubringauntienat @jensortega813 @ortegalvr @natashamaximoff-69 @osnapitzmel01

If your name is crossed out, it means I couldn't tag you!

Join my taglist!

[maple-the-awesome]

Happy New Year! ||

Pairing: {Any} Link x Reader

Words: 923

Overview: It's New Years in Hyrule and you plan on finally living out one of the most famous holiday traditions. Here's a very last minute New Years piece that I decided to write within the last hour because I've done it for other characters before, so why can't it be Link's turn? Happy New Years everyone 🥳

Zelda Masterlist 🎉 Fandom Masterlist

You’re certain even the inhabitants of Death Mountain can hear the current celebrations taking place in Castle Town right now. If not, then the gorons of this kingdom must’ve invested in some pretty efficient earmuffs.

How anyone actually enjoys parties like this is beyond you. You can barely hear yourself think over the obnoxious shouting of the crowd, let alone enjoy the music being played by a band Hylia knows where. 

Is this street lined with cobble? Going off of what you remember from when you first arrived this morning, you think it is, but there’s no point in trying to confirm it now. It’s been forever since you’ve seen so many people in one spot, packed together like sardines that wear colorful hats and clothing, but you definitely don’t miss being tossed this way then that way by such obvious mobs. 

At least the night will be ending soon. Although you doubt that will put an end to this overwhelming party, it will give you the freedom to return to your comfortable room at the local inn which you PRAY is soundproof or else you’ll really be cranky tomorrow, but for now, you must blink away the sleep and continue on your path since there are far more important matters at hand than a good night’s sleep.

“Where are we going?” The question might as well be whispered during a storm. You don’t hear a word of it, your only hint towards its existence being the way Link’s lips move in the corner of your eyes. They’re turned upward in slight amusement as he follows after your swift pace. The only thing that’s keeping you from being separated into a wave of sweaty bodies is your tightly interlocked hands.

Around another corner, shoving past a drunk trio and into the first breath of fresh air you’ve had in the last four hours. It’s not necessarily ‘quiet’ with the festival only a few feet behind, but you suppose it will have to do. 

“What’s with that sour look?” Link pokes the corner of your lips, earning himself a swat and a misdirected glare; a consequence of your disappointed pout.

“...This isn’t what I had in mind.”

“And what is it that you had in mind?” He raises an eyebrow teasingly, his grin growing naturally when you cross your arms while tapping your foot like a frustrated rabbit.

“I-I don’t know. A garden filled with roses. A lone fountain sprouting glittering, moonlit water - Something more romantic than this!” You gesture ahead to the narrow alley which is filled with only discarded boxes and untouched by any moonlight due to its position between two tall buildings.

“At least it doesn’t smell,” Link points out, but your scrunch up nose tells him that his optimism isn’t helping much, so he wraps his arm around your waist, tugging you against his side where you stubbornly stand with mocked annoyance written all over your face.

“...I suppose it will have to do,” You eventually sigh, leaning your head against him yet keeping your arms crossed as emphasis that you don’t really care for this ‘compromise’. You just don’t want to venture back into that crowd nor do you have the time for it, “...A garden would’ve been much better, though.”

“Agreed.” 

“You must be wondering why I’ve dragged you here.”

“To escape further social interaction?”

“No - Well yes, but that was only an added benefit; a type of ‘kill two birds with one stone’ situation. What I really brought you here for is tradition,” You pivot your body so that you can stand in front of him. 

Almost automatically, he fixes both of his arms around you, keeping them low against your hips as he watches you straighten his tunic, “Tradition? What kind?”

You hum and take your time in answering him,  “...It’s tradition in my world to share a kiss at the stroke of midnight during the New Year. Supposedly it brings good luck or something like that. I’ve never done it with anyone before, but you seem like a decent fellow; I’ll take any good excuse to kiss you.”

“That so?” Link chuckles, gently lifting your chin to look up at him.

You merely nod. Out on the street, you can hear the crowd’s voices begin to fall in sync until they form one joyful rhythm and familiar countdown. Leaning closer, you let your breath fan Link’s lips, your flirtatious smirks a mirror of each other’s, “One kiss for a year of good luck. A worthwhile trade, wouldn’t you say?”

Moments ago, you were forced to walk through a town of drunk people who had forgotten how to behave in public, so it’s surprising how well they all suddenly know how to count: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…

“Fool. You know I don’t need any reason to kiss you,” Link whispers, meeting his lips to yours which acts as the perfect distraction that pulls you away from the eruption of shouts and crackling fireworks that shake Castle Town to its core. What was once so difficult to drown out is officially mute against your ears as you wrap your arms over Link’s shoulders and allow him to dip you into the kiss that molds both of your smiles together.

"Does that make up for the lack of romantic settling?" He pulls away only enough to ask his question, each movement of his lips brushing yours.

"Very much so," With that, you pull him back in for another kiss, after all, who said you'd have to stop after midnight?

[purriteen]

Ad victor spolia, chapter five

content warnings: incest, manipulation, eventual Stockholm Syndrome, toxic & dark!Coriolanus Snow (as if that isn't his default), named!reader, ANGST, eventual smut, non-con, age gap (5-6 years), somnophilia

author’s note: it's been like a month but have this double release I'm feeling generous (crappy proofreading/editing, be warned)

word count: 3,476

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Your head is throbbing from the hangover. You only vaguely recognise the room you're in, with the large Palladian windows and exquisite furniture you're pretty sure it's the master bedroom, and the arm that drapes over your torso as you realise your back is pressed against a warm, distinctly male body. 

You're startled at first, and when you turn around to find that it's Coriolanus, in a pair of pyjama pants and a loose sleeping shirt, you hardly feel any better about the situation. It takes you a minute to register that he's awake, blush spreading on your cheeks like wildfire when his eyes meet yours. 

You feel so exposed like this, groggy and hungover, in the now wrinkled black slip dress that offers you little coverage. You can't even remember taking your ballgown off in the first place. 

"Silia? You're finally awake. I was worried about you, after what happened last night," He sighs, running a hand through his hair. Without all that product in it, his curls have returned. He must've had time to shower sometime between your blackout and now.

Your brows furrow, anxiety building in your chest at his words. "What do you mean, after what happened last night..?" You inquire, although you're not sure you want to know. The whole scenario looks so incredibly wrong. But you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt - how likely is it really that anything would've happened?

Even if it weren't so immoral and disgusting, your brother being intimate with anyone is just unthinkable to you. At most, he'd probably have attended one of those decadent gentlemen's clubs, if he didn't have so much to lose, being the President and all. 

The thought appalls you - but it's not just the idea of him partaking in exploiting the less fortunate women in the Capitol, there's something more to it that you can't quite put your finger on. You push it aside for now; you have bigger, more urgent problems to deal with.

He appears deep in thought for a second, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallows thickly. "Coryo? What happened last night?" You repeat, this time with more urgency in your voice. You shift into a sitting position, your thoughts running wild with ideas of whatever awful thing could have landed you here, making it impossible for you to stay in that half-asleep state. 

He finally looks up at you, stretching out one of his hands to stroke your cheekbone. There's something about the look on his face that makes him seem pained, wounded.

"You got.. very intoxicated. One of my men found you in the corridor just outside the ballroom, with a low-ranking gamemaker. They caught him red-handed, trying to.. to take advantage of you." 

His words start to sink in, and a wave of nausea washes over you at the thought.

Someone had tried to force themselves onto you.

Someone who was likely a friend or at least a colleague of Remus. Who'd possibly even worked with your brother at one point, when he was a gamemaker intern.

"I'm so sorry, Hersilia, I shouldn't have let you get so drunk in the first place, I had your glass checked for any trace of drugs, of being laced with anything, but the lab couldn't find anything. I should've kept a closer eye on you, protected you from anyone who might even think of laying a hand on you.." His voice trembles, and you're surprised to see your brother so raw, so different from his usually so very controlled self. You hardly even recognise him, but you can't help but think that you should be used to it by now.

You find yourself in a tight embrace, feeling both unsettled by his strong arms wrapping around you like a vice, a snake, yet somehow safer. It takes you a minute to muster up the courage to speak.

"Did.. did he do anything?" You try not to let your fright show, but your voice comes out a hoarse whisper. He finally lets go, and shoots you a concerned, puzzled look. He takes a deep breath before talking again. "How much do you actually remember of what happened? You were barely conscious when they brought me to you."

You try and think it over. But the last thing you remember is sneaking off to the powder room to gossip with an old classmate of yours. Idesta Harrington. She'd been a childhood friend, although you hadn't stayed in touch since you seemed to run in different circles once you'd gone off to the Academy. 

Although a lot had changed, she was one of the few whom Coriolanus did not deem 'beneath the Snow name' or otherwise not suitable to be around you. You knew he'd been in the same grade as her older brother, nicknamed Pup, too. You couldn't for the life of you remember anything distinct about him.

"Everything after I went to the ladies room with Dessie is just.. gone. Blank. Don't remember any of it," You try to speak, but this time a sob gets caught in your throat, the shame and shock you felt threatening to spill over. 

Coriolanus takes note of this. He's relieved, but not particularly surprised that you believe him. It very well could have happened anyways - with how wasted and vulnerable you'd been. He'd have to figure out how to deal with the imaginary attacker later. 

Perhaps he'd have to choose from one of the actual gamemakers to banish to the districts, or he could take one of the few Capitol-born traitors currently awaiting punishment. He'd have to probe doctor Gaul for which member of the team she'd be least upset about losing. 

Whatever he needed to do to show you that he would always be the one to keep you safe, to reinforce what he already knew but had yet to get through your disgracefully thick skull. Truthfully, Coriolanus didn't know why he was so protective over you sometimes.

"You were discovered before he could do anything to really hurt you. I would've never forgiven myself if.." He trails off, letting you believe he struggled to even say it aloud. It worked as intended, and you practically throw yourself into his arms, gripping his shoulder tight. 

"It's not your fault, Coryo," You insist, sobs wracking through you as you hold onto him.

He didn't necessarily enjoy seeing you so frightened, so distressed, but he felt powerful like this. You had never once made him feel unsure or lesser than in the way Lucy Gray did. You were so much easier, safer to love. He relished the feeling. 

"I know, dove. But I was so worried," He sighs, petting your hair as your head rests on his shoulder, burrowing into his pale neck. You allow the almost overwhelming, but familiar scent of roses that followed him around to comfort you somewhat. 

"I didn't want you to sleep alone, I'm sorry, I just couldn't let you out of my sight. My conscience wouldn't let me," He kisses the top of your head, and you nod in understanding. 

You don't question even for a second that what he's saying is the truth. You hadn't seen him so distressed ever. Even when he sat you down and explained that he had enlisted all those years ago, or the prospect of selling the penthouse, he had been more so embarrassed and shut-off than distressed, like he was now.

You find yourself thinking that maybe you'd misjudged him. Maybe, he was just as damaged and conflicted as you, rather than evil through and through. Torn between his protective, caring instincts and the ruthlessness his career of choice demanded. You try to scour your emotions, looking for anything that stood out or suggested otherwise, but you find nothing tangible. 

Something about the situation still feels wrong, though. You just can't figure out what. You chalk it down to the shock of finding out about the danger you'd been rescued from last night. Everything he'd said made perfect sense in your head - he'd even respected you enough to leave your clothes on, instead of giving you the bath you truthfully needed by now. And why would he lie about such an awful thing? He wouldn’t go that far. 

As he cradled your trembling form in his arms, you knew that this, this was the Coriolanus you cherished and loved. The one who made you feel so safe and doted on and adored, even in the darkest of times. For the first time in many years he felt like the Coryo you remembered from your childhood again.

A couple weeks had passed since then. The two of you had grown closer, largely thanks to Coriolanus' unwillingness to let you leave his side. You couldn't blame him for that, though - he seemed perhaps even more traumatised by what happened that night than yourself. You couldn't bear the thought of worrying him even more, and since you didn't have much to do anyways, you complied. You figured the paranoia would fade sooner or later.

But he'd taken it a step further by insisting on assigning you security detail for whenever he wasn't around as well, even inside the house. You'd grown quite fond of the first one he assigned, Salomon, though you just called him Sal for short. He was around your brother’s age, short but stocky, with buzzed chestnut brown hair that appeared reddish in the sunlight. You knew because he'd always follow you around on the sunny afternoons you spent tending to the part of the garden Coriolanus had allowed you to make your own. You'd enjoyed listening to his anecdotes from 'back home', which in his case was district four. It was so unlike your life in the Capitol.

But one day, Salomon was gone, just as you'd started to really warm up to him. In his place was a tall, broad-shouldered man who appeared to be in his thirties, but his face was rough, hardened and his storm grey eyes, devoid of any pop of colour, looked as if he himself might as well have witnessed the chain of disastrous events that had led to North America becoming Panem. A cold, cut-throat military man. He was a man of few words, watching over you like a hawk and bringing an uncomfortable, prickly tension with his presence into your everyday life.

You attempted to bring it up with your brother over dinner. He'd coolly explained that it was for your own safety - Salomon had only been a placeholder until he had found someone better suited to keep you safe, someone he could fully entrust with your safety. Still, you'd pleaded your case of how you missed the company Sal provided, and Coriolanus promised you that he would find more time for you outside of work to make up for it personally.

He didn't seem to grasp the concept of you desiring a social life outside of him, which was beyond concerning, but for now you figured that was the best you would achieve. After months of feeling so confused and nothing short of isolated, you were much too exhausted to risk going back to that by confronting him. 

Although the both of you had warmed up to each other more as of late, he was still rigid in his decisions - Coriolanus always needed to have the last word. You tried to accept him as he was, and you even felt as though he might be letting up on his sometimes overly controlling tendencies on his own. Just a little bit, enough to give you a spark of hope.

However private Centho, as you'd come to find out he was called, even after a week, still brought malaise to your life every time you had to be alone with him. You couldn't bear it. Finally, you'd come to an agreement with your brother - inside the safety of the presidential palace, you would be allowed privacy. No more security detail. You figured the storm had blown over by now and that was that.

Yet, now that he could no longer station someone outside your bedroom door at night, the deal came with the condition that you would instead sleep in his every night. He had arranged for the staff to bring you a spare bed that was placed a couple feet away from his own. But somehow you always woke up to find yourself snuggled up to him every morning, without fail.

At first you told yourself it was just the winter chill. His bedroom was large and airy with massive windows, so you figured that made the most sense. But the snow had started to melt away bit by bit already, and regardless, you were provided with infinite warm pyjama sets and bedding. That was no excuse.

Perhaps it was the size and roughness of the mattress. It was of the highest quality you'd find in a folding bed, but it didn't compare to the comfort offered by the plush, extravagant bed you'd grown accustomed to. You wondered if you were starting to become spoiled.

The whole situation reminded you of a book you'd read when you were little, one of the many that you had been forced to burn in the fireplace to keep warm during the dark days. It was about a princess who'd been tested to see if she was noble enough to marry a lonely foreign prince, using a single pea that was placed under tens of mattresses stacked on top of each other. If she was worthy, she'd feel the pea when she laid down through all of those layers.

You'd imagined that one day, when your family was by some miracle no longer dirt poor, you might get to marry a 'prince' too. Of course, there was no such thing as royalty in Panem. That belonged in the old world. Here, you didn't need a title to be important - you needed money and influence. 

Finally, you'd had to come to the conclusion that in truth, it was his warmth, his embrace that you were after. He was often too busy for you in the daytime, and although you enjoyed getting to spend more time with Eugenie again, you wanted him. It was his company you were after. 

You'd missed out on so much when you were little - first, he was always studying, and then after he'd graduated the academy, he was all about both studying and building his career. You wanted to finally get a chance to bond with him, properly this time. The real him.

But once he brings you to the cell your supposed attacker is being held in, you begin to feel that perhaps, he's just as unpleasant if not more beneath the surface.

You vaguely recognise the man, although you can't quite put your finger on it.

Then it hits you like a bucket of ice falling over your head. Romulus. Romulus Dolittle, the youngest son of your former neighbours. He'd been your first friend, you first crush, your first and only kiss. Even if it had just been a quick peck.

Despite the glass wall separating you from the gaunt, bludgeoned prisoner you once called your friend, you can tell he knows exactly who you are, too.

"This, is Romulus Dolittle. You might remember him from the Corso, before his family moved away. Regardless," Coriolanus is clear-spoken and seems entirely unfazed at the sight of the bloody pulp right before your eyes, as if this was a daily occurrence for him.

You can feel bile rising in your throat at the thought that it very well could be - is your brother the one who did this to him? Had he personally made the poor man's life a living hell on the daily?

"You don't expect me to believe that he attacked me, do you?" You interrupt before you can even consider your words. Coriolanus' jaw ticks as he turns to look at you, and you feel as if you want to crawl out of your own skin.

He puts on a cold, thin-lipped smile. When he speaks again it's in an overly calm, smooth tone, as if explaining a complicated subject to a small, petulant child.

"If you had let me finish, you'd know that he is not here under suspicion of attacking you. He was involved in a rebel conspiracy." He explains, the disdain in his voice as he utters those last two words barely concealed.

Your fingernails dig into the skin of your palms as you resist the urge to claw your brother's eyes out. The hint of a self-satisfied smirk in his eyes tells you he knows just as well that the bloody pulp of a man was innocent.

"Why are you showing me this?" You manage to keep a steady tone, feigning nonchalance as best as possible. And although he plays along, you can tell Coriolanus is not buying it. He turns away from you again, facing the glass barrier separating you from the supposed traitor once more.

"Because, Hersilia. You must understand, that even those you trust the most, even your oldest friends, will betray you and everything that the Capitol stands for, if they believe it is in their best interest." He begins, and the urge to tear the flesh off of his smug face returns for a brief moment.

Then you watch as two peacekeepers enter the cell, dragging Romulus out in chains.

"Tomorrow, after he has been cleaned up, the very first public execution in the history of the Capitol will take place."

The whole encounter left you in a state of shock. Once you'd returned to the manor and finally calmed down a bit, your brother had played the recording of Romulus' confessing to the crime, although you could tell by how hoarse his voice that he'd been screaming before. It was likely brought on by torture at the hands of the peacekeepers guarding him.

You could tell Coriolanus was trying to twist the situation in his favour, as he always did. But this was all too much. You felt as if he was taking you on a sick rollercoaster that would only lead you into your impending death.

You knew you couldn't go on like this. You had to do something about it. But how?

Meanwhile, Coriolanus could feel you slipping away from him. He must've taken it too far, and above anything too soon, with showing you Romulus' fate. He thought he could take advantage of your inevitable breakdown to reinforce his status as being the one to comfort you and care for you no matter what, but it seemed that this time, he couldn't.

He did everything he could, against your will he held you as you cried until your eyes dried up, allowed you to wander about the house more freely, he had even given you permission to go into town without him again so long as you brought someone with you. And Centho was finally off your back no matter the unease he felt at being unable to watch over you through that man's observations.

He'd instead opted to give you a diary of sorts to write your thoughts down in, an elegant black leather book with a silver padlock and your name engraved in cursive. Hersilia Honoria Snow. He figured that if you were going to insist on shutting yourself off from him, you might instead turn to something else, and he would much rather see to it that he was in control of that variable rather than give you true freedom.

But, you refused to write anything, and the spare key he had neglected to tell you about only provided him with two hundred blank pages worth of insight.

You had stopped making small talk with him almost entirely. All you did was ask too many questions about Romulus, asking to see Tigris, trying to convince him to let you spend time with Persephone and Remus again. He had to remind you that Remus and his family was only spared from execution because of the scandal their deaths would otherwise cause, and that quickly shut you up. Coriolanus doubted the man would be keen on spending time with someone who falsely accused his little brother and got him killed regardless.

He on the other hand was pleased to have smashed two birds with one stone. No more cannibal friends, no more sleeping on your own and leaving him in the dark. But he needed you to trust him again. Everything had been going so well until now.

So he gave in. You would finally get to see your dear cousin again and get some well needed answers.

Well, you wouldn't get any of those, but you didn't need to know that. Yet.

taglist: @caffeine-addict-slug, @phoward89, @catesbaroquecasahouse, @priyajoyy, @euphemiaamillais @harvey-malfoy

[haddonfieldwhore]

on your side - jey uso

jey uso x fem!reader

word count: 0.9k

warnings: scripted violence, blurs kayfabe + real life a bit

raw: september 18th 2023

tensions had been at an all time high backstage for the last few weeks, ever since cody brought jey uso to raw. you understood that he had hurt a lot of people, and you knew that you were one of the few people that didn’t have an issue with him being back on monday nights. you didn’t know jey very well, but you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. you and cody were two of the top baby faces on the roster, and you shared a common trait; you believed in second chances and seeing the good in people.

it didn’t take long before the judgment day was trying to recruit jey, which would be a dangerous combination if he said yes. they were already a powerful group, you couldn’t imagine if they added the talents of main event jey uso to their ranks.

you were walking around backstage looking for adam to talk about a potential match for you next week, when you turned a corner and almost bumped into jey.

“whoa - my bad,” he said, holding his hands up like he expected you to get mad at him.

“no worries,” you smiled. “good luck on your match tonight.” he looked you up and down, and you weren’t sure if he was checking you out or looking for any sign that you were going to attack him. he must have decided that you were being sincere, as he seemed to relax a little at your friendly demeanour.

“appreciate that,” he nodded.

“have you thought about what you’re going to to about the judgment day?” you asked, and he ran his hand over the lower half of his face, smoothing out his beard as he shook his head.

“i don’t know yet,” he admitted.

“whatever you decide, make the right choice for you,” you said, and he nodded, obviously a lot on his mind. you stared walking away, not wanting to take up too much of his time since his match was starting soon.

“hey,” he called after you, and you turned back. “thanks. you’re cool,” he said, offering a hand for you to fist bump him. you smiled, tapping your knuckles against his before walking away to find adam.

•••

maybe it was because you were curious to see what decision he had come to in regards to the judgment day. or maybe you secretly wanted to cheer him on, but you had decided to hang out in gorilla to watch jeys match against drew. it was nearing the end of the match, and it had been a pretty even fight, when damian, finn, and dominik came out, surrounding the ring. you sighed, just hoping that jey took your advice and didn’t let them get in his head and distract him from the match that was currently going on.

jey was thrown into the corner, and the judgment day cheered him on, jey eventually standing up and giving priest a fist bump before super kicking all three of them, making his decision clear. unfortunately he turned around and walked straight into a claymore from mcintyre, and drew pinned him for the three count. jey was still laid out in the ring as drew jumped over the ropes, and started walking up the ramp.

you watched as a humiliated judgment day surrounded jey. they started kicking and hitting him relentlessly, jey having no chance on his own against the three of them as they picked him up and continued their attack. drew seemed to consider turning back to help him, but never did, and you decided you couldn’t watch this anymore. you ran out to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and pulling dominik off of jey first, and he went to swing at you until he realized that he couldn’t hit you. you superkicked him, and he rolled out of the ring. you managed to pull the other two off of jey, who they had let fall down to the mat, a crumpled heap on the canvas. they backed off as you stood between the fallen uso and the judgment day.

“this isn’t over,” finn spat, and you stepped eye to eye with him.

“yeah, i think it is.”

“we’ll see about that when mami gets back!” dominik yelled. you didn’t have time to reply as cody’s music hit, and the american nightmare ran out to the ring, running past drew and getting in the ring. finn and damian attacked him, now having an opponent they could fight back against, but you pulled finn off of cody, and managed to get him to back off out of the ring, joining dominik who was backing up the ramp in retreat. cody clotheslined damian over the top rope, the taller man landing on his feet before you and cody helped jey up.

jey looked at you, suprised that you had come out to to his aid, but more than that he was grateful. you looked at cody, who gave you a nod, and you returned it.

“are you okay?” you asked jey, and he nodded, finally able to catch his breath.

“you ain’t had to do that for me. you got a target on your back now.”

“i wasn’t just gonna let it happen. and if anyone wants to come for me, i’ll be ready,” you assured him. you knew as soon as she was medically cleared, rhea would be after you, but you had the advantage of knowing she was coming after you.

“thank you,” jey insisted, and you smiled.

“what are friends for?”

jey looked surprised, but cracked a smile, wincing slightly as cody raised his arm. he may have lost the match, and made a few more enemies, but he had gained an ally, and jey considered that a win.

[iamqueenpotato]

Hurts Like Hell Final Part

Azriel x Reader

A/N- This constant support that you all have given me is something I will always be thankful for, seeing you guys enjoy my writing has been the best thing ❤️ This is the last part! Took me a bit longer to make sure I ended it correctly, kinda had a little burnout this past week 🙃 so hopefully, you guys are satisfied with the ending! Enjoy!

⚠️: None!

Word Count: 4.3k

Part One Part Two

Healing wasn’t easy, it took a lot of willpower on your end. But the more you tried, the better you began to feel. Lucien started giving you more tasks, and more errands to run. Forcing you to get out of the house, interact with new people, and enjoy the sunlight on the walks the two of you took. You never once held in your feelings, never let them have the chance to take control. Though there were days you wanted to do nothing but lie in bed, especially when certain memories would resurface, ones of a certain Illyrian. And there were times you wanted to beg Lucien to leave you be, to let you spend your days trapped in your room, away from it all but you would remind yourself of the why of it, remembering that going back down that road of despair would cause more damage than good.

Lucien admired the perseverance you showed. He reminded you daily of how proud he was of you, continuing to be the supportive friend you needed. It would be a lie if you said you haven't cried in these past couple of months, there were plenty of tears shed during the late nights, during any time of the day, but you truly were feeling that your heart was finally healing, all of the fears and doubts that sat so deep within you were slowly becoming a distant memory. In the process, you learned to do something you thought you never could do. You finally learned how to love yourself. Mistakes and all.

Learning how to love yourself was difficult, it took many tries to believe that you were capable of it but you discovered you were worthy of love, even the parts that you had despised for years, the pieces of you that you had long deemed unlovable. It was a time you spent truly discovering who you were, and who you could become, with and without your mate. Though heartbreak and immense pain caused you to arrive at this moment. To this point of healing. It had benefited you more than you would ever have realized. The best part of it all was you were never alone, you had Lucien, and when they could, your friends from the inner circle would come and visit you, and spend a day or two catching up. And when they left to go back home, there was a large part of you that wanted to follow.

Then after a few months had passed, you decided it was time to go home. You were ready, to be back in Velaris. To see Azriel. And have that conversation that the both of you had put off for far too long. There was once anger and heartache within you, the two things that you had thought would occupy you for years, but when you began to change, and you learned to accept them, they had begun to dim. Though your heart still ached for your mate, and the pain that he had put himself and you through had dampened a bit your spirit, you were prepared to talk to him, to hear him out. To see if that bond between you two was still worth repairing.

It was late into the night when you decided to tell Lucien of your plans, as you walked down the steps of the cabin, you found him lounging on the sitting room couch, various papers in his hands. When he spotted you he placed them down, moving over so you could sit next to him. “It’s late, what are you still doing up?” He asked.

“I am ready to go back.” Your words came out quick, like a breath you had been holding in for too long.

Lucien sat up straight, his eyes studying your face, trying to find any sort of second-guessing from you. But this was a decision you thought about for a while and you were certain this is what your next step was going to be. When Lucien realized there was no doubt in your choice he smiled, pulling you into a tight embrace. “I am so proud of you.” He pulled away, cupping your hands within his. You couldn’t help but smile back.

“Lucien there are no words that can express how grateful I am for your support, I will never forget what you have done for me.” You choked out, not expecting to cry saying goodbye. Though it wasn’t truly goodbye, Lucien became your best friend through this, and going forward he would always be a part of your life. But the time you spent with him, the healing that so greatly involved him, it would be hard to leave this place behind. He brought his hand to your cheek, wiping away the tears. You looked up at him, seeing the freshly fallen tears down his own cheeks. “You have been by my side this entire time, even when I thought I didn’t deserve anything, so thank you, Lucien. For being my friend.” You smiled, letting out a breathy laugh, and he smiled right back.

“I am going to miss having you around here Y/N.” Lucien spoke quietly, as if he were trying to dim the emotion within him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him with all the strength you had.

“You have to come to visit, you don’t have a choice.” You spoke, burying your head in his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around your waist, you could feel his tears as they fell onto your shirt.

“Yes ma’am” He choked out as he pulled away, smiling so brightly at you. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, wiping your tears away, both of your noses sniffling. Then the two of you broke out into a fit of laughter, that was soon followed by more tears. And more hugging.

The next morning you awoke on the couch, not having ever gone back up to your room, the two of you spent the rest of the night talking, about anything, the night was filled with many moments of tears but there wasn’t sadness in any of it, Lucien made sure to tell you over and over how proud he was of you and admiring the strength you had built over these months, which only seemed to make you cry more.

Lucien’s figure was spread across the carpet by the fire, still sound asleep as you sat up. You grabbed the pillow behind you, softly throwing it towards Lucien, aiming for his chest but instead landing directly on his face with a loud smack. A little bubble of laughter escaped your throat as he rolled over, groaning, pulling the pillow away from his face. “Maybe I won’t miss you.” He joked, giving you a small smirk, his eyes still closed. You gasped, grabbing another pillow, this time throwing it with a little more force. Laughing loudly you stood up, making your way toward the bathroom to shower. It was time to get ready for your trip back home.

You had written a letter to Cassian the night before, telling him of your plans, though you got no response, the sudden knock at the cabin door could only be one person. You placed the last bit of your clothes in your bag before rushing over to the door, opening it up with eagerness. Cassian smiled widely at you, he stretched his arms wide, inviting you to embrace him, which you did without hesitation. He hugged you so tight it felt like you would crack in half, but you smiled through it, holding him with equal ferocity.

“I had to stop myself from flying over here last night, Nesta actually had to hold me back.” Cassian laughed as he placed you back down on the ground.

You shared his laughter, your smile growing wider each second until your cheeks hurt. “Who else knows?”

“Just Nesta, for now, I assume she told Feyre, but I made sure they said nothing to Az, my lips are sealed this time.” You felt Lucien appear behind you, Cassian reached behind you to give him a firm handshake, while his other hand rested on Lucien’s shoulder. “Thank you for taking care of her, she’s family, and I wouldn’t have anyone else by her side during this,” Cassian added, the sentiment was almost enough to make you cry. Cas smiled at you, motioning to move past you into the cabin. “I’ll grab your bag Y/N, let you say goodbye.”

You turned towards Lucien, your chin trembled as you gave him one last hug. “Thank you again, Lucien, I will see you sometime soon.” You pulled away.

He smiled at you, a strong hold on your hand. “Remember you are strong, you are worthy of love Y/N. Don’t accept anything less than what you deserve.”

“I promise. You do the same.” You spoke as you turned to Cassian, who was walking back down the stairs, your bag in hand. Lucien let go of your hand, standing in the doorway as Cassian lifted you in his arms. “Goodbye Lucien.”

“Goodbye Y/N.” And with that you were in the air, the cabin just a small spec across the land, but always would remain a large piece within your heart.

Velaris was as beautiful as you remembered, you stared down at the city below, admiring all that you had missed so dearly.

The two of you landed in front of your townhome, you took a moment to steady yourself, one breath in, one breath out. Cassian held your hand, smiling down at you. “I need you to close your eyes for me kiddo.”

You looked at him with skepticism in your eyes. “Why?” You asked.

“Do you trust me?”

“Usually, but at this particular moment, I’m not so sure.” You laughed as Cassian gave you a playful nudge. He moved behind you, placing one large hand over your eyes. He walked slowly, guiding you to what you figured was the front door. “Cassian what is going on?” You questioned, hoping he wasn’t tricking you in some way. You heard the door unlock, a quiet array of whispers. Anticipation ate at your gut as Cassian slowly moved his hand away, and when you opened your eyes, you found all your friends standing in your living room. All of them yelled an array of “Welcome home!” Mor was the first one to hug you, then Nesta and Feyre, then finally Rhys. Amren gave you a small smile from behind her glass. You spotted Elain sitting quietly in the corner, who offered you a small wave, and you politely returned the gesture. You turned back towards Cassian, placing your hands on your hips. “You couldn’t keep it a secret huh?” Though your tone was filled with sarcasm, you had a giant smile across your face.

“I couldn’t ruin the surprise. What can I say? Everyone was super excited to hear you were coming back.” Cassian smiled, shrugging his shoulders. But there was one person still missing. You did not see him when you walked in, and as your eyes scanned the room he was nowhere to be found. Rhys came up behind you, his hand resting on your shoulder as he leaned down to speak quietly in your ear. “He has been on a mission for the past couple of days. He will be back tonight. I did not tell him you were coming.” As you looked towards the Highlord you mentally slammed your walls back up, but you nodded in acknowledgment.

The rest of the day you spent drinking and catching up with everyone. It felt so good to be back home with the family you thought you never would have, and when you looked around the room you mentally noted that if things worked out between you and your mate, you would buy more furniture, with Cassian sitting on the ground, Amren’s short stature taking the entire couch, Rhys and Feyre cuddled up on the chair, while Nesta on the other, you didn’t have the seating to entertain. But the thought made you smile, who would’ve known of the many problems you would have faced in your life, not having the space to entertain your friends would be one of them. And when it was time to play cards, everyone found a spot on the floor.

“I think I am going to head out.” A small voice spoke up above the rest. You looked over to Elain, who hadn’t said a single word the entire time, stand up and swiftly move towards the exit, you and your friends watched as she closed the door behind her.

You placed down your cards. “No cheating.” You spoke before standing up and following Elain out the door.

“Elain!” You called out. She stopped moving, turning to face you. “Are you okay?” She kept her head low as you approached her, her hands folded in front of her.

“Y/N why are you so nice to me?” She choked out. “I played a part in the fallout between you and Azriel.”

“Did you do it on purpose?” You asked.

Her head shot upward, Elain’s eyes were wide as she stared at you. “No-no of course not, I would never.”

You placed a hand on her arm, smiling shyly at her. “Then I have no reason to be anything but nice to you. Elain I never had anything against you, I think you are a wonderful woman. Things got complicated between Azriel and me and somehow you ended up in the center of it, but if you didn’t do it on purpose, then why should I be mad?”

Elain smiled at you, and a single tear fell down her cheek as she moved to hug you. “Thank you.” She whispered. You would have never thought that Elain would have become this troubled over the situation, but maybe she truly saw it as her fault, and you were glad that you were the person to tell her otherwise.

She pulled away, waving goodbye as she walked down the street. When you walked back into your home, your friends gazes followed your movements as you found your seat back in the circle. “What?” You asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Nesta spoke up. “It’s good to have you back, Y/N.” She smiled, softly nudging you with her shoulder. You all went back to playing your game and you couldn’t tell if it was just in your head but it felt as though more pieces of your soul healed. And you could thank your found family for it.

Once the sun set, your friends decided it was time to leave, after a long goodbye you were left standing in the middle of your living room. Being alone in your townhome again brought back so many emotions, both good and bad. But it felt right. It no longer was a place that you associated with your pain. You knew Azriel wouldn’t be home for some time. But waiting made a small bundle of nerves grow in your stomach, you rubbed at your chest as if that would help the growing nerves.

But that also meant you had time to truly prepare yourself for this conversation. As you walked around your home, you didn’t realize how much you missed this place, the shared library, your kitchen, and all the memories it holds. The photos that lined the hallway walls of you and your mate, the family you shared. Though you were gone for months nothing had changed, it was as if you were never gone in the first place.

You walked into your bedroom, the last place you truly talked to Azriel. His leathers were tossed all around his side of the room, though your side of the room was clean. Except for the fact that your side of the bed had been slept in, while Azriels was still made. Confused by it all you left the room, opting to wait in front of the fire until he came home. You picked at the edge of the chair, second-guessing yourself if this was the right decision. The doubtful thoughts filling your head, what if he didn’t forgive you? What if he finally decided to move on? But remembering how far you came, how much you needed to do this, you stuck through it and continued to wait.

It was nearly midnight when you heard the lock on the door turn. You stood quickly, watching the door as it slowly opened. Azriel stepped in, throwing his things to the side, he was dressed in his leathers, slowly removing the top layer, being in his presence felt different, but better. Gods you missed him, though you couldn't let yourself run back to him, not until you heard what he had to say.

He didn’t notice you at first, his gaze solely focused on the floor, his hair was a mess, and if you looked closely enough you could see the dark circles underneath his eyes. His shadows darted towards you, alerting him of your presence. His head whipped around to look at you, his movements frozen as his eyes widened though it was as if he didn’t believe you were here, standing in front of him. “Hi, Az.” You whispered.

Your voice seemed to shake whatever trance he was in. He moved to you faster than you could react, rushing over to you but quickly stopped in his tracks as if he wasn’t sure if you wanted him near you. But when you didn’t step back, instead moving closer he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, running his hands along your back. You didn’t pull away, not startled by his sudden movements, you prepared yourself for this, you had missed the warmth that he gave you. You slowly wrapped your arms around him, returning the embrace. “You came home.” He spoke, his voice cracking.

You pulled away and you could have sworn you heard a small sound of protest come from Azriel as you moved the two of you to the couch. “I thought it was time we talked about everything.”

As the two of you sat down, Azriel held on to your hand, you watched his chin tremble as he looked towards you. “I am so sorry Y/N.”

“I am too.” You responded.

Azriel shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for, this is my fault alone.”

“But what I said-”

Azriel gripped your hand tighter, rubbing his thumb across your palm. “I deserved it, I hurt you Y/N and I am sorry. For what I put you through. There is no excuse for my behavior, I don’t deserve you and the love you give. I never meant to hurt you, I didn’t realize what I was doing until you left Rita’s that night. Seeing you cry, made my entire world crash down. I-” Azriel paused, looking down at his hands that were now interlaced within yours, trying to center himself. “I am not good with emotions, I know I love you, gods I love you so much. But I think pushing people aside and those emotions are how I think I am protecting them. But in reality, I hurt the person I care for the most.”

“What were you trying to protect me from?” You asked.

“Myself, my job. After everything that happened with Rhys and Feyre, I was scared. Each time I went on missions, I kept that love for you a secret because I was so afraid that something would happen to me, if I were ever to get caught. They would find out about you. They would use you to get to me. And I would never forgive myself if I put you in harm's way. But in the process when I pushed it so far down, I made it worse. ” He choked out, you could only stare at him, unsure of what your next words would be.

Azriel took a deep breath as he continued. “I got so engrossed in my work, that I neglected the one good thing in my life. When Feyre asked if I could keep an eye on Elain, it became another job. I said she needed me because I thought that is what I needed to do for Feyre and for her, to follow orders. She was never anything else to me. I am so sorry you thought that something was going on, that I made it seem like there was. You are all I have ever needed and I was an idiot to mess it up. These mistakes are mine to bear, not yours. Y/N you remind me where I belong, you have shown me love that I never thought I would be capable of knowing. I should have been a better mate, you deserve so much more than I am. I hate that I couldn’t see you struggling, I hate that I wasn’t there for you. I hate myself. For all of it.” Azriel let his head drop as his body shook with sobs, it hurt you to see him like this, but after hearing his words, seeing what this had done to him, what the two of you had been through, and although there was still more to work on between you two, you knew you wouldn’t want to live in a world without him by your side.

“Please don’t hate yourself.” You spoke quietly, watching him as he slowly pulled away from you.

Azriel didn’t look your way as he spoke, his voice hoarse. “It is what I deserve. I deserve worse than hate. What I did to you-” He paused wiping his face with the back of his hands. “I can never forgive myself, I swore I would protect you, I promised myself I would never make you cry, never cause you pain. But I couldn’t keep that promise.”

Bringing your hand along his jaw, you raised his head gently, making him look at you. Rubbing soothing circles across his cheeks. “I will not lie and say that I wasn’t hurt by this, gods Azriel it broke me. I never thought I would have gotten myself out of that hole. But this bond, this light between us, it is something to be treasured, to be loved. It gave me the strength to heal, to be better so we can be better. But for that to work, I need honesty, and clarity. I need you to be the male I know you are. The one who is fearless, who cares so much for his family, the one that I fell in love with all those years ago, the one that still has my heart.” You paused, holding back those tears that so desperately wanted to fall. “Don’t block me out. I am your mate, for the good and the bad. I understand the need to protect me, but I need to protect you too. We are equals after all, and we have to look out for each other.”

Azriel leaned into your touch as more tears fell down his cheeks. “How can you forgive me? I failed you.”

You moved one of his hands, placing it above your heart. You opened that bond that had been closed off for what felt like an eternity. Letting that warmth from you flow towards him, to show him that you had always held on to hope, even when it felt out of reach. “There is no way to learn things in life without failing, the thought of losing you scared me, so much that I became paranoid and assumed things that were not there, I should’ve talked to you instead of thinking everything would go back to normal on its own. A relationship takes work, and even when it gets hard, I don’t ever want to know who we are without each other. You are a piece of me that will be with me forever. I can’t help but love you.” You pulled on the bond once more, and finally, Azriel opened his side. The sudden rush of fear and guilt that came from him made your breath hitch, but you did not pull away, instead, you pushed more love toward him, in return he leaned his forehead against yours, sending a wave of love down the bond. The tears finally fell as you closed your eyes, cherishing Azriel and everything he was. Faults and all.

“I love you Y/N, nothing and no one could change the way I feel about you. You are light in this dark world of mine, a blooming rose in a garden of thorns. I promise to be the male you deserve. If you’ll have me.” He wiped away your tears, his hands remaining on your cheeks. You nodded, interlacing your fingers with his. Azriel let out a sigh of relief before softly placing his lips on yours. The bond bloomed with so much love between you and him. And as his lips lingered on yours, you finally felt that you were back where you belonged, the hope within you became a blazing fire and not the dim flame it once was. The connection you two shared was never something wild to tame, but something to run with, it was meant to make mistakes, and you two would learn to fix them together.

“I love you Azriel.” You whispered as you pulled away, your hands still tightly gripped onto his.

He smiled back at you, the smile that warmed your heart, the one that sent butterflies throughout your body. “I love you Y/N, with all that I am.”

And when he kissed you again, it was a promise. One that meant change, for a better future. For the both of you.

Taglist: @honestlywtfisgoingon @fanfictioniseverything @marina468 @positivewitch @maviee @blurredlamplight @bookslut420 @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @elle10 @dragonstoneprincess

[missanne]

The great war-

author's notes:This chapter was kind of hard to write, I had a relapse and the panic attack was inspired by one I had, I'm better. I'm giving you the freedom to fill my DM with chapter requests, stay hydrated!

The floor was full of facial masks and judging by the expression of doubt on Satoro's face, he wouldn't know how to choose so easily; Yn was making clay masks and faced the same dilemma: indecision about which clay to use; both in similar situations shared, in addition to the same feeling of doubt, the same decision, to focus on repair and reconstruction. The boy, with white hair, chose the strawberry mask and the chosen clay was the white one, when they both met they laughed mutually:

_ So you think I need to rebuild, huh?

_ Take it easy Yn, I don't even know what all these agents and acids are for, but you're going to explain it to me and only use half.

_ Half! For it to work, you have to use it all!

_ Sad, this mask will have to work with only half. Between laughs, the young people got ready for the night, they chose Hello Kitty pajamas, and lively music for the background, sitting in front of the bed while Yn calmly applied the mask to her face, as soon as she finished it was Satoro's turn to apply it to her, in an attempt to get to know the girl in front of him better, he carefully asks:

_ Yn?

_ Hi

_ Why did you decide to do an exchange in Japan?

_ Because the question is, nowadays, many young people are interested in Japan...

_ It's just that you seemed a little lost on the first day, before... you know...

_ being kidnapped.

_ Yeah, and you were also very calm about all of this...

_ I wasn't calm, I know how to lie well and hide my pain even better, I've been kidnapped a couple of times before this, so I kind of already knew what was going to happen, but why did you apply to watch over and take care of a foreigner who barely speaks Japanese properly? _ My father told me to, he said it was my duty…

_ In other words, you were forced?

_ No! I'm here because I like you… I mean, you're a great friend, and you're very interesting…

_ Oh yes….

_ But what about your parents, have they called you yet? Or have you told them what happened?

_ My parents don't care about me, well of course as long as I don't die here without having a reserve of money to take my body to our family's grave. But anyway, I haven't told anyone yet, I just sent a message to Mrs. Smith, who is almost like a mother to me, saying that I'm adapting.

_ Do you need help?

Yn's eyes, which until then had been tired, took on a tone of unfocus, something similar to the thousand-yard stare, and with a monotonous voice she says:

_ No, I'm fine mentally, thank you for your concern. _ if that's what you say…

The silence was awkward, but after a few seconds, yn says:

_ Sorry, I ruined the mood…

POV: yn

He looks at me confused, even with the pain that cuts through my chest, I can't stop looking at him, it's like there's a magnet connecting us.

_ There's no need to apologize, yn, because I was the one who started it...

Useless

I try to ignore what my inner voice says, and once again I try to focus on the mask that's on his face, it's time to take it off, I think.

_ I-it's time to take it off-

The air in my lungs disappears, I start to shake, and it seems like my blood pressure has dropped, because I feel ice rising in my legs, I see his face, the concern and panic are evident, but the pain in my chest prevents me from thinking straight, I don't want to get sick here, what would he think? That I'm weak...

You shouldn't have been born!

Get out of here!

You can have my last name and enjoy all its benefits, but know that you are not one of us.

You are unbearable, I can't stand hearing your voice anymore, I can't stand seeing you anymore, get out of my sight once and for all!!

All my thoughts are in disarray, I remember things that should be buried, I don't know who said them to me, but I feel the pain they caused me, it feels like my lungs are being crushed and my brain refuses to shut down, I try to stop thinking about it, and I try to remember all the good things that have ever happened to me, but they all seem to have been infected with my past and mixed together.

I need to stop, I need to turn it off…

_yn, breathe…

satoro gojo… he’s in front of me telling me to breathe…

POV: satoro gojo

she was shaking and scared, her uneven breathing was accompanied by tears and this completely undid her mask. If I hadn’t brought up the subject, she would probably be smiling because of some stupid joke, but here we are; when she started crying, I remembered Geto’s words to the guys before we went to find her and I felt a knot in my stomach. Maybe that wasn’t right, but what could I do? It was already done. With each passing second, she curled up more and put her hands on her head and breathed deeper and deeper. It was the first time that this had happened to me. Usually in my life, I was the one who had the crises and he comforted me. I remembered what he typically did on those days and tried to replicate it with her. I put my hand on her shoulder and softly said:

_yn, breathe — for a moment, I realized that I was heard, so I continued

_ breathe... 1... 2... 3 now let it out slowly.... That's it, now let's go again... 1... 2... 3....

_ thank you Satoro — she said in a weak voice

_ Do you want to talk?

_ no, please, let's watch a movie or sleep

_ do you have a movie in mind?

_ it can be grown-ups, as long as it's a comedy movie, I don't mind.

I needed to make her a little disconnected from herself, and focused on something else, so I put on Sailor Moon, who knows she might relax; because until now her body was tense, as if I was going to assault her at any moment.

End of Satoro Gojo's point of view.

When the film was halfway through, the white-haired boy noticed that she was too focused on the film, he picked up the phone and sent a short and self-explanatory message to the pinned group:

_ I need to find a psychologist, as soon as possible, then I'll explain in more detail.

tag:@lunaekalenda

[viennajoell]

Matilda pt 2

-

I know I shouldn’t but I catch myself looking up in the stands hoping to see my parents.

Of course I don’t, I don’t why I thought I would.

But you know who I do spot in the stands half way through the game.

Luke.

He was sitting with Tyler who’s a good friend of ours.

Tyler transferred to umich so I don’t know why Luke brought him, I don’t even know why Luke is here.

I talked to him here and there but not like how we used to.

It’s no secret that I was a accident

I’m somewhat close to Luke’s age.

But still it’s very obvious that I was not planned.

I think that also plays a part into why my parents act the way they do.

I want to give them the benefit of the doubt I really do but I can’t seem to bring myself to forgive them.

I ended up having a great game.

Everyone storms the court like they always do after a win.

I was talking with some teammates when I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I turn around and it’s Luke.

“Nice game” he says. “Thanks” i reply

“What are you doing here?” I ask. “Came to see you play” he replies. “That’s a first” i scoff. “Y/N we’re all worried about you” he says. “Cool” I respond. He rolls his eyes and you can tell that he’s frustrated.

“Look I gotta go” I say walking away. Y/N!” He yells, I continue walking like I don’t hear him.

“What was that?” One of my teammate ask. “My brother” I reply. “He’s your brother?” She practically yells. “Yeah?” I say confused. “Ain’t no way” she replies. “My last name is literally Hughes how did you not know” I reply. “I don’t know i never put two and two together” she responds. I laugh at her response.

“Why do you never talk about him or any of your family for that matter?” She asks. “Cause I don’t like them” I say which catches her off guard. “Why? They seem cool” she replies. “Their cool to my brothers just not me” i replied.

I go into more detail and got my teammate on my side.

Soon parent night rolled around and I thought about texting my parents but ultimately decided not to and that I had to move on.

I never visited them during holidays, I didn’t even go back during the summer

And that brings us here

My first game as a sophomore

I’m starting lilbero since Luke took all the height genes.

What a bitch

I’ve completely forgotten and stopped caring about anyone coming to watch me all I need is my teammates

The game is over and we won

I ended up having a great game as well

Everyone storms the courts and I see my parents walking towards me

“What the fuck?!” I intentionally yell.

“Y/N” my mom says sounding nervous. “No” I straight up say. “I’m sorry honey we all are” she says and then all my brothers come in also. “Oh hell no” I laugh hiding my tears.

Luke catches on and hugs me.

“You should’ve been here” I yell trying to get out of his arms. “You shouldn’t been there for me” I cry wiggling out, suddenly feeling embarrassed and storming off.

“Fuck” jack groans. Ellen is crying and they all begin the walk away.

It’s to late.

[doll-elvis]

** warning drama ahead **

Regarding plagiarism and @lettersfromvenus:

I definitely did not envision this to be my first post back from the break that I’ve been on from posting but after my lengthy exchange with her last night I’d just like to clear the air and explain the situation from a different point of view as I believe lettersfromvenus has been dishonest to her audience

** but before I even get into all of that I would like to sincerely apologize if you have messaged me, replied to one of my posts or sent in an ask, I am going to start working on getting back to everyone as soon as possible- I cannot even explain how much I have missed being active on here and I’d like to give a huge thank you to all the elvis fans and blogs out there because y’all have been keeping my moral high 🫡

my immune system decided to quit a little over a week ago and what I thought was a normal cold/flu turned out to be pneumonia of all things. even though I lowkey almost died from it when I first got it as a kid, I don’t remember it being this exhausting?? I’ve been bedridden like a victorian child and have been reminiscing on all the times that I had an appetite and could stand up without losing my breath

literally me since last thursday

** as for the situation regarding lettersfromvenus **

a few days ago it was brought to my attention that some accusations were being made against her after I saw an ask that was sent to another Elvis blog on here. She was being accused, by the original author, of copying a fic (word for word) from wattpad (including the title and cover-art) and posting it on here as though it was her own work

here is that post from the og author ⬇️

I always try to be as neutral as possible but after reading posts from both @ladiilokii and lettersfromvenus, I ultimately decided that the latter was clearly in the wrong and that her explanations made no sense and did nothing but pivot the blame

and so I left this exact comment on ladiilokii’s post to show support ⬇️

** “at first I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt but her responses to your messages are just insane, I’m so sorry this happened!! I’ve unfollowed her and reported her post, I can’t believe she is refusing to take it down after being caught red-handed 🤧” **

“insane” was a harsh word to use but that is the only word that came to mind after reading lettersfromvenus’ responses to being called out

she claimed that she was sent prompts/scenarios by an anonymous person and that she then wrote the fic based on those prompts, which just magically happened to be the exact same, word for word, as ladiilokii’s og fic. not only is that impossible, but it also doesn’t account for the stolen cover-art as an anonymous person cannot send a photo through the inbox, their username would have to be public

letterfromvenus then admitted to the og auther (pictured below) that she got the cover-art directly from the original fic on wattpad

** “all I did was steal the title and the picture because it had fit so well with what I thought my fic”-lettersfromvenus ** im sorry but how do you “think”something is your fic? you either wrote it or you didn’t…

lettersfromvenus’ full direct message to ladiilokii ⬇️

these explanations made zero sense to me and the lack of accountability on her part is astounding- she basically said “your work was amazing, they meant for it to be copied” ?!?

Much like the og author, I don’t believe that lettersfromvenus was sent any prompts by an anonymous person. I think she found the original fic and posted it as her own work thinking nobody would know where she got it from as it was originally posted in a vast collection of one-shots

I can’t speak to experience of being a writer but I could imagine it would be incredibly disheartening to have someone else take the credit and reap the rewards of all the hard work, effort, and time that goes into writing a fic

and so that was my involvement in the situation. like I mentioned I did decide to unfollow her because I thought it was unfair/dishonest how lettersfromvenus was making ladiilokii out to be the aggressor even though she had every right to call out the person who was stealing her fic

but nonetheless I didn’t say anything to lettersfromvenus and I just hoped that she would learn from her mistakes and offer a more sincere apology and explanation in the future

flashforward some days later to yesterday, when around 5:40pm, I got sent an anonymous ask which had a link to a new post from lettersfromvenus. obviously there is no way to prove who sent in the ask but I had my suspicions that it was her as she directly addressed the og comment that I made on ladiilokii’s post, in her new post⬇️

(https://www.tumblr.com/lettersfromvenus/730026135806722048/okay-so-i-swore-right-down-to-not-waste-my-time-on?source=share)

in retrospect I shouldn’t have engaged but I just couldn’t believe that she was trying to twist the situation and make it seem like she was getting all this unwarranted hate when in reality this was started by her when she consciously decided to steal another person’s work, and then refused to accept any blame. I still stand by my reasonings to unfollow and report her for the stolen fic

and so I commented on lettersfromvenus’ new post (linked above) to clarify again why I decided to unfollow her, as she questioned why I did. I wanted to be as frank as possible and so I wished her the best, but I maintained that I wouldn’t support her work in the future and that I thought the og author deserved a better/more truthful explanation

unfortunately I was blocked by her after our back and forth so I can’t see all of my og comments but here are some of hers and mine that I was able to sc beforehand⬇️

may or may not have had a friend send me more sc of the convo after I was blocked ⬇️

“I did not plagiarize the fic” are you sure about that?

courtesy of @ladiilokii ⬇️ (lettersfromvenus is left, og author is right)

some other screenshots⬇️

“you’re literally blaming me for shit out of my control”- it wasn’t out of your control, you purposefully did what you did and instead of openly admitting to it, you’re pivoting the blame onto an “anonymous” sender (which she has still shown no proof of)

and even if someone did send you a complete fic in your inbox, you are still obligated to say that it is not your own original work if you post it, it is still plagiarizing even if the author is anonymous

** btw this was the caption of the fic she posted that she stole from ladiilokii- “Writing takes a lot of time, so please make sure to support us writers” writing does indeed take time… copying and pasting does not **

and please the irony of saying this fandom is toxic for calling you out for stealing another fan’s work- like ma’am take a look in the mirror before calling other people toxic 🤧

my patience is now non-existent regarding this person so I’m sorry if I’m crass but if her idea of “hard work” is copying and pasting a fic and stealing the title/cover-art, then yeah that deserves to be discredited, like what do you expect??

since I was blocked I can’t see my comment anymore but I mentioned how she admitted to stealing the cover-art and that she should have given credit for that, and she then replied that her stealing was essentially justified because the author who made the cover-art didn’t credit the photographer that took the photos of Elvis ⬇️

she also went on to say that everyone who writes the word “Elvis” is plagiarizing Gladys because she created Elvis- I hope she stretched before she made that reach

we only went back and forth for like 15 minutes but my head still hurts from it. she was just impossible to reason with, she had zero accountability, and at times I felt like I was speaking to an actual toddler… she even told me to go back to elementary school to get common sense 💀

me engaging with her on that post proved to be futile, but I can’t say that I fully regret it because this clearly shows her lack of a moral code as a writer (thou shall not plagiarize)

I hate for this to be my first post back and I do know that I am contributing to the drama (for better or for worse) by making this lengthy ass post but that whole exchange with her truly shocked me and I just couldn’t keep quiet about it, especially when she has gone to her followers and made herself out to be the victim, and made others out to be the aggressors… my brain cannot compute the fact that she is trying to garner sympathy from this

** however, I by no means, wish for any hate sent to her about this. some of my comments and rebuttals have been snippy & I definitely lost patience in all of this but I don’t know how old this person is, she could be 12 for all I know, and I think we have probably all been guilty of doing dumb things on the internet. From my understanding she did end up deleting the fic at the og authors request **

I made this post in hopes that it provides some clarity to the situation and in hopes that I could show the conversation with as much transparency as possible as since I’m blocked I’m slightly worried that she is making me out to seem like I instigated this when I only directly spoke to her once I saw that her post mentioned my comment

to me this situation wasn’t even really about who was involved, it was about the principle of it because no matter who the person is, plagiarism is wrong on all of counts. if someone plagiarized lettersfromvenus’ original work in the future, I would still speak to her defense because no one deserves to have that happen to them

if there is anything you would like to do, please show some love and support to @ladiilokii , the original author of “Welcome to Detroit, Baby” <3

anyways- I cannot wait to get back to my original schedule of posting, I’ve been on a break for only 11 days but my god it has felt like an eternity 😭

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Evie (Ace!Tav) Playthrough Day 4

(I love Evie in this fit)

Day 1… Day 3- Day 5

Astarion x Evie (Ace!Tav) Masterlist

For the uninitiated, I wrote a Tav well before I ever had a chance to play the game. Now, I finally can and thought it might be fun for my first play through to be as that Tav. Or, at least as much as the game play will allow me.

These are just some of my notes and scattered highlights that I thought would be fun to share.

Let me know if you think if I should continue this and any suggestions you might have.

So much happened you guys holy shit!!!

Technically this is a combination of two days, since I didn't have time last night and figured I'd wait until after I played some more today (there is just so much of this game I feel like two hour sessions barely scratch the surface)

First off, it took me way too long to figure out how to deactivate the traps in the back cavern in the Emerald Grove

Legitimately nearly died twice; if it weren't for my saves I would have

Not ashamed to admit, I needed to google it; I have never claimed to be a "gamer"

Still got it sorted (and if anybody knows how to get to that center bit in the middle of the cavern, please let me know)

After that decided to go after best girl Karlach

Ran into the Owl Bear cave first and I am upset

I *really* didn't want to kill the Owl Bear mama, but even with non-lethal damage the cub still eats it's mother; seems like it all is the same in the end

I'm now thinking more and more that Evie and Shadowheart get to be good friends; Evie takes a more benefit of the doubt approach to people, and I don't think she knows enough about the Gods and Shar specifically to have many thoughts on the subject

I've been purposefully handing all the books and other info to whoever else is there so Evie doesn't get the info from reading

Lae'zel and Shadowheart are also majorly at each other's throats in the first act

Lae'zel also would not be a fan of Evie; Evie comparatively talks way too much for Lae'zel's taste (+11 to Persuasion will do that to a person) (did I mention I love bards)

Did eventually get to Karlach and she's so great guys! I knew I was going to love her, but I *love* her

She deserves to wreck the Paladins of Tyr hide out, as a treat

(That one bitch was giving me so much trouble, thank God for Wyll's Eldritch Blast or we would have been spending all our actions just trying to keep up)

I am once again faced with not being able to punch a ginger bitch because of *consequences*

Also, I hate all the options they give you when talking to Wyll after he's transformed into a devil

None of this is what Evie would say to him!

Either way though, I am secure in the fact that Wyll would like Evie (even if he's not a fan of her trust in Astarion)

So, one long rest later and we're heading towards the Blighted Villiage; Astarion, Gale and Karlach in toe

Came across the boar and Astarion really is so suspicious

I also think at this point Astarion really doesn't know what to make of Evie; placing her in category bleeding heart no doubt and not certain of her abilities

She's a good talker, as she's able to convince the goblins to let them pass without a fight

On the other hand, she did assists Gale with his little problem, sacrificing a necklace of Dancing Lights

Also it doesn't help that she was nice to a gnome

I think what starts to change his mind though is when they meet Raphael on the road

I really do wish you could give Gur as a background, because even if Evie didn't grow up in the caravan, I do think just culturally she'd pick up on stuff

Not trusting devils I'm sure is top of the list

I wasn't expecting to have Evie so viscerally mistrusting of Raphael, but it felt right to play it that way

I'm not sure who he'd remind her of in her past, but I do think there is something beyond just him being a devil that rubs her the wrong way

Either way, her rejection of a devil's bargain that would not only enslave her, but likely them as well, even in exchange for a cure does re-color some things

Not sure where to insert this in the grand scheme of the narrative, but Evie did let Astarion open the door on the orger and hobgoblin

Evie's talking did not help in this situation

I know the narrative makes it clear what's happening, but I'm thinking Evie might have had a random ace blind spot moment

Like she's not totally naive about sex, but when it's usually the last thing on your mind (and you just talked with a devil), it's not the first thing you picture at the sound of banging

Not her smoothest moment; (honestly the sudden violence is a god send for everyone not to ask her more questions about it)

Either way, went back to the grove with some of the infernal iron and got Karlach stabilized at least

I love Karlach and Wyll's friendship, I support wholesome ships; low key starting to ship her with Dammon though

He's real cute, Karlach deserves a nice guy, and you know he'd roll with the punches

Another long rest later and we're here

The scene

I've been thinking about the build up to this scene

Obviously we know in origins it's after Astarion has a vision of Cazador and wanting to push the limits of his new found freedom by going against one of his rules

But I keep coming back to why Evie

Astarion can likely smell something being wrong with Gale's blood, Wyll just turned into a devil and would likely kill him, Karlach's blood is literal fire, and Lae'zel would also absolutely kill him

That leaves Shadowheart and Evie

Shadowheart is a big question mark to him; she follows Shar, maybe she might even like being bitten

But then there's Evie who has shown time and time again that she wants to help

This is about survival after all, and it would only be a taste

IDK, exploring it; add it to the list of possible future fics

But Evie obviously does wake up and does allow Astarion to bite her

As for Evie's motivations as to why, yes, Astarion is a prickly bastard, but he's in the same boat as the rest of them

If he wanted to hurt them, surely he would have done it by now

She recognizes the look in his eyes, Gods know she's worn it enough; the man is starving, the fact he hasn't done anything until now says a lot

This is definitely the shift in her and Astarion's relationship where they start to actually warm up to each other

So next morning gang wakes up, Evie stands up to Astarion saying she trusts him and heads out again towards the goblin camp; Shadowheart, Astarion and Lae'zel in toe

So Evie's current standing with the party;

Gale has disclosed his condition and gotten the first magical item; high rating with Evie, thinks of her as somebody who he can not only trust, but as someone who has shown bravery and true kindness (not to mention eloquence); maybe starting to form an...appreciation

Wyll has turned into a devil and certainly likes Evie, but maybe a little doubtful in her trust in Astarion and some dealings with the goblins

Shadowheart; genuinely trusts Evie as she's revealed her ambitions as a follower of Shar, and used the artifact in front of Evie in order to protect them from the influence of The Absolute (also might be starting to crush on her, but Evie has not been taking the opportunity to flirt)

Karlach: too soon to tell, but seems like a good person

Lae'zel: not a fan, too weak willed and doesn't know her place; talks too much

Astarion; unsure, certainly knows he can trust her now, to an extent; still too much of a bleeding heart, but then again, it's helped him; at the very least she knows to draw the line with devils and willing to kill to stay alive, over all a fair ally to have

Oh! I can't believe I forgot about my new best boy!

Scratch!