#but does provide a nice contrast i guess

[unorthodoxfaithxx]

Shen Smut Fic from Undead Unluck

Nsfw; AFAB ; slight yandere

“I’m usually one to play the role of a gentleman, but I think you’ve kept me waiting long enough, no?”

In which Shen finally has enough of your worrywart antics and decides to put matters into his own hands.

———————

It was supposed to be a regular quest - capture the UMA, be rewarded with a Negator’s location, find the Negator, and be done with it. 

So why were you deserted in Japan, in a LOVE HOTEL of all places, stuck with the most unintentionally insufferable man on the planet? 

“Jeez,” you sigh, face-palming your forehead, “I can’t believe Andy and Fuuko left without us! And what for? The newest copy of Shonen Jump?!” 

You hear a laugh from behind. Shen was sitting cross legged on the gaudy heart-shaped mattress provided with the room, leaning his chin into a hand while he watches you pace around the room, and, much to your chagrin, with amusement. 

How could he be so nonchalant about everything? His cool demeanor always contrasted your reactive, uptight one, and without even trying to he manages to piss you off on the daily. 

“Look, I’m sure they’ll be back soon. Or they won’t. Méi wèntí (no problem)!”

You slap your cheeks with a groan. “It’s absolutely an issue, Shen! We’ve wasted how many days trying to capture UMA ____? And now instead of doing anything productive we’re stuck here cause those two decided to ditch us!” 

His polite smile does little to reassure you. 

“You’re way too worried.”

“And you aren’t?!”

He hums, tapping his face. “Not necessarily. Whatever Fuuka told Andy, it must have been important. You saw the way he carried her off with a sprint, no? I trust they have some sort of plan. Although like you, I wish they would have given us a heads up.” 

While you sure loved Fuuko, her brash plans always gave you the worst fucking headaches. You’re glad Andy is there to protect her, but still. 

You sigh and plop face down on the mattress next to the blue haired man. 

For a moment, there is only silence. Eventually, you forfeit.

“…For what it’s worth, this bed sure is comfy.” 

“Right?” Shen agrees, moving to lay down on his back and stare at the hot pink ceiling. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Y/N, but I think you’re too stressed most of the time. Have you ever tried meditation? I’m no meditation master, but I can offer you some pointers.” 

“No thanks,” You grimace at him, “Meditation stresses me out.”

“That’s counterintuitive.” 

“I know.”

More silence. 

He turns his head to face you. “Well if you happen to find a way to destress and need a partner, I’d be happy to lend a hand. I’d offer to spar with you, but I know you’re not much of a fighter.” 

“That’s…that’s real nice of you, Shen. Thanks.” 

“Of course,” His smile reaches his eyes when he adds, “You’re cute when you’re pouting, but I think you’re even prettier with a smile on your face instead.”

It takes a second for the words to click in your head, then a blush blooms across your face.  

“Hey. Can I be honest with you for a second?”

“Gànba (go ahead).”

“When we first met, I hated your guts. You always had this shit eating grin on your face no matter what’s happening, and it drove me insane. It’s really hard to tell what you’re actually feeling behind that smile. It made it difficult to trust you, and I already had a hard time trusting people as it was. Still do, actually.” 

You continue on. “But after spending more time with you and the others, I’ve learned that you’re not all that bad. And maybe you are hard to read sometimes but I trust that you’re not a threat and want to protect the people you care about. And I find that really admirable, ya know? A lot. So uh? I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’d like to get to know you more as a person and be friends. And that I’m sorry for always having my head up my ass.”

His eyes widen at your words and you look away abashedly. “I mean, if being buddies is a problem then I totally understand I mean whywouldyouwannahangoutwithmeinthefirstplace—“

He reaches to grab your hand, halting your rambling. “Does that mean I have permission?”

“Uh, permission to what?”

He squeezes your hand, eyes ablaze with something you couldn’t put your finger on. “To kiss you.”

Immediately you’re a stuttering mess. “Hah?? I mean - what - no, I - that’s totally inappropriate, we can’t —“ He locks eyes with you, “Please kiss me.” 

You’re shocked. Did he just use his Negator ability on you?

He ears turn pink at your proclamation and he says, “Of course. Anything you want.”

Before you can say anything in retaliation he’s moving in on you like a shark. With a hand cupping the back of your head, his lips meet yours hungrily, leaving your body slack with shock. You can barely breathe as he fights his way into your mouth, tongue exploring inside your mouth fervently. You bring your hands up to his chest to push back but he doesn’t budge. 

It feels like eternity before he lets you go. When he finally relents, you’re gasping for breath. You look into his eyes, shocked to see that they’re dilated, blown wide with excitement.

He says breathlessly, “I’ve been interested in you since the day you joined the Union. I did everything I could to get you to like me. I tried to be the nice guy, be polite and approachable, but you never seemed to wanna let me in. I was honestly beginning to give up. You don’t know how happy I am to finally hear you say that.” 

His strong hand roams to grip your waist. Tightly. With a low whisper he says, “I want you. I want all of you. And if you let me, I’m going to do more than just kiss you, my dear.” 

You’re so flustered you don’t even know what to say. “I — you — wait. You like me?Why? I mean we’re basically coworkers aren’t we and I don’t know about you but datingcoworkershasalwaysbeenweirdand—“

He gives you a knowing wink, and you’re back to speaking your hidden truths again. 

“I want you more than I can say.“ Fuck Untruth. 

Apparently you said that last bit out loud, because Shen gives you a hearty laugh, so much he has to wipe a tear from his eye. 

Embarrassed, you want to get up and leave the room, but he’s still looking at you. His ability is still turned on and you can’t budge.

“Yeah, I can’t let you leave. Not when I finally know how you really feel about me.”

Great. 

His face almost seems apologetic. “Forgive me, Y/N my dear. I just know that this is the only way I can get the truth out of you.”

You want to yell at him but your mouth will only tell another story. With slight apprehension, you watch as his signature smile mutates into something darker, more predatory. 

“I’m usually one to play the role of a gentleman,” He inches closer to you, lips whispering against your ear, “But I think you’ve kept me waiting long enough, no?”

You gulp. 

With a quick push, he immediately has you on your back, staring up at him like a deer in the headlights. His arms are around both sides of your head, legs caging you in. You find yourself shaking with either anxiety or excitement, you can’t tell. 

“Fàngsōng (relax). I promise I won’t hurt you. Unless you want that, that is”. 

You move a hand up to cover his eyes so he can’t use his Negation, sparing the both of you from whatever embarrassing remark would come out of your mouth otherwise. 

Despite the hand in his face, he was smiling at you like a villain. “You know, you’re not really helping your case by doing that. I can still tell what you want, see?”

A gasp escapes your lips as you feel a hand trail down your pants, into your panties. An electrifying tingle flows through you when Shen rubs you in a circular motion. Opening your eyes, he’s already taken his hand out (much to your disappointment) and is staring at the slick coating his fingers. Your hand is long gone from his face. 

“Hmm, pretty wet.” He hums. 

You watch mortifyingly as Shen licks his fingers clean, the sight counteractively igniting something within your core. 

“And you taste pretty damn good, too.”

He gets off you and starts tugging your pants off. Before he goes further, asks, “Can I?”

He doesn’t even have to use his ability. You respond with a small, barely above a whisper, “yes”. 

With your face as red as it can possibly be, the muscular man gives you a flirtatious wink, his eyes lidded with lust at this point. 

Both your pants and undergarments are thrown across the room, and your lower half is left bare for him to see. By instinct you try to close your legs, wanting to hide, but the Union member’s arms keep you open. 

The way he stares at your pussy has you feeling faint of heart. He’s eyeing you like you’re a famous painting he’ll only get to see once in his life, doing his best to analyze and remember every detail. 

“Can you please stop staring? This is embarrassing,” You whimper. 

“No need to be so shy, my dear. You’re beautiful. I want to see everything.” His enthusiasm does little to settle your nerves. 

With a devious smirk, he lays on his stomach, face between your thighs.

“Xiè xie nǐ de shí wù (Thanks for the food).” 

Fire erupts through your veins when you feel his warm tongue lap at your folds, sliding up and down in the best way imaginable. His lips gently suckle on your clit, and despite not wanting to be loud, you cry out with fervor. You swear the pleasure is insurmountable. 

Your hands grip the fabric of the mattress you’re on, and when his tongue dips in and out of your entrance, you can only moan pathetically. 

“Fuck. Even your moans sound so beautiful,” Shen praises in adoration. You turn to look away, only to have your head jerked back in Shen’s direction. “We can’t be having that. Keep looking at me, my dear. I wanna see those beautiful eyes of yours filled with pleasure.”

Lewd slurping sounds fill the room. 

He looks so pleased with himself while you quiver under his grasp, something intense gradually building inside of you. Your hands instinctively move to grip his hair, mindlessly pushing him down further to eat you out. You feel yourself reaching close to that high, and when that strong tension in your core finally snaps, you feel lightheaded from the your intense orgasm.  

You’re so sensitive that every nerve of your body feels lit up. But that doesn’t stop Shen. 

The man keeps lapping you up, causing you to grip his hair tighter as you cry, “Fuck, I came! I came I came I came, stop, it’s so fucking sensitive, god!” 

It takes another minute of begging before 

He opts to listen to you. He chuckles. “Well, did my girl like that? You tasted so good, mhm.”

You’re left speechless, still reeling from your orgasm. Shen gets up on his knees and begins to strip. You always knew he was buff, but you’re mesmerized by his toned muscles as he removes his shirt, revealing a chiseled stomach and oh-so broad chest. 

You feel heat rise to your cheeks when he sends you another wink, obviously enjoying the fact that you’re ogling him. When he slides his pants off, you see that he’s hard with want, the tip of his veiny cock an angry red color. You feel intimidated by the sheer size. 

He’s big. 

“Uhm…I don’t think that’s gonna fit,” you mumble nervously. 

He laughs at that. “Sure it will. We’ll make it work, my dear.”

Now as naked as you, he moves to give you another fiery kiss, his tongue tangling itself with yours. He reminds you again how beautiful you are, whispering praises between every break. He touches you again, pleased that your juices and his spit have you sopping when through and through. 

Finally, when he feels like he can’t wait any longer, what would be a loud cry from you is silenced by a kiss as he moves to shove his member into your weeping entrance. He has you caged between his arms again, your legs wrapped around his torso. It’s a slow endeavor at first, letting you get used to his size as he stretches you out.

“Fuck, fuck fuck!” You feel your insides being stuffed to the brim with his cock. He slowly moves in, until he finally fully braces himself inside you.

He gently moves in and out, a slothful but sure pace. He opts to wrap his tongue around the hard nipple of your breast. 

“Good girl,” he praises, “Taking me so well, aren’t you.”

“I—I don’t…” You words fall at the wayside. 

“Fuck,” he groans, “We’re meant to be together, don’t you see?”

Shen awaits an answer but your words regress to babbles and whines.

You whimper as he suckles on your neck, bound to leave a nasty hickey after. The pleasure is too overwhelming and you inch to get away. It’s futile though — he has you locked in.

“You’re not getting away,” his soft voice turns into a growl when he realizes you’re trying to evade him, and he grabs the arms you were pushing at his chest with, opting to pin them down at each side of your head. 

“I’ll make you feel so good you can’t get away.”

All of a sudden, the movement of his hips snaps from gentle to rough, the stronger man voraciously sheathing his cock in and out of you like a beast in heat.

“Oh god,” You words slur as your mouth pools with saliva, drooling from total ecstasy, unable to do anything except hold on to the man who’s ravaging you. Tears of delight prickle at your eyes.

You feel so good you can hardly think straight, blissfully enjoying the sudden roughness he displays as he mutters, “Don’t think anyone else can make you feel this good, huh? Nǐ shì wǒ de (You are mine).” 

He pumps into you relentlessly, looking down on you with crazed lust in his eyes, watching as your eyes nearly roll back in enjoyment. You feel so full, you don’t know how you can continue taking it. 

“Shen, Shen, I can’t take it!”

“Yes, you can. And you will.” He commands. 

Another orgasm threatens to overcome you, and even though you’re begging him to give you a minute of respite, he doesn’t comply. 

“I’ve waited so long to have you, you’re not getting a break that easily.”

He gets you to where you’re on your knees, ass up with your face in a pillow. 

With a groan he’s back inside you, hitting your insides deeper than you thought possible. 

“You’re too perfect, I can watch you all day,” He confesses. 

Your cries bounce off the walls of the room when he gives your ass a slap. It stings, but you’re so far on Cloud 9 that you don’t care. If anything, it’s the catalyst to you cumming once more. Shen eyes in fascination as your cunt spazzes around his member, highly satisfied with himself for making you feel so good. 

He kneads your ass as you’re gasping for air, basically sobbing from your orgasm taking the life out of you. Your cunt is twitching when he slowly pulls out, only to slam back in as hard as he possibly can. He fastens his grip on your ass, pulling you back into him when you try to move further away. 

“No running,” He chastises, earning another hard slap on your ass. You yelp at the roughness of it all, but in truth? Maybe you’re enjoying it a lot more than you should. 

You turn your head as best as you can to look at the man ravaging you. He’s looking at you with such intense focus, gritting his teeth in an unnerving grin that leaves you feeling aroused and like you’re prey. Sweat beads down his forehead and chest as he continues to pound you, leaving your pussy a wet and stuttering mess. 

His hands meet your waist and with one deft move your back hits the bed again. You hear Shen curse before your sweat covered, fucked-out sinful visage, and you don’t bother holding back the moan that leaves your throat when the angry red head of his dick slides back into your entrance.

“So good,” He grunts, fucking you into a mating press. He moves a hand down to fumble with your clit, eliciting all the cries he’s grown to love hearing out of you. 

You feel as if you might come again, and you know Shen is getting close too when the man’s thrusts grow sporadic. 

“That’s it,” He encourages through clenched teeth, “Cum for me. Cum on my cock!”

His words send you over the edge, and you clench around his dick once more. 

“Yes, please,” He hears you beg, and that’s all he needs to climax himself. A quick couple of thrusts and he pulls out, hastily pumping his long shaft with a hand until thick ropes of cum decorate your chest. 

He reaches for the towel conveniently placed on the nightstand and gently wipes away the mess he made.

“Hahhh,” Once he’s done, he breathes out a pleased sigh, collapsing beside on you the bed. 

“Holy shit,” You say through unsteady breaths. You try to reel yourself in after all those intense orgasms. 

Unfortunately for you, post nut clarity hits hard and FAST, and you immediately make way to get up and clean off, and maybe bury yourself someplace hidden. You get the nagging feeling that maybe your bed partner will regret his decision later on, and howcouldyoulookhimintheeyesnow—-

Shen tugs your hand back and pulls you close, wrapping you in his arms. 

“Hey, don’t leave me all by myself! Let’s stay like this for a while, yes?” He says. 

“I…okay,” You can’t help but agree, comfortable in his warm embrace. The two of you stay like that for a while, basking in the afterglow of the deed and eachother’s presence. 

———————————————————————

Fuuka was throwing duck feed into a pond when Andy sat down next to her, watching with a mischievous grin as all the ducks scattered away under his scrutinizing glare. 

“Say,” Fuuka starts after slapping her partner on the shoulder for his harassment of the ducks, “Do you think we can head back to the hotel now? We already spent the money Shen gave us for Shonen Jump.”

Andy hums, finger on his chin in thought. 

“Nah, Shen asked us to leave for the whole day, remember? Let’s get dinner before heading back.”

“Why do you think Shen wanted us gone in the first place? It’s not like the quest required that we split into teams.”

Andy gives her a pointed look. 

“What?” She says quizzically.

After a few seconds, her face glows beet red, eyes wide with realization.

Hotel + privacy + man + woman = ???

“Holy crap. No way!” She shouts. 

“Yes way. So for our sake and theirs, let’s not go back until late tonight.”

She nods in agreement, fanning her flustered face. 

———-

thanks for reading! And @shiroisotto64, from one Shen lover to another, hope you enjoyed it ;)

[antianakin]

Honestly the Voyage of Temptation episode would've been way funnier and more interesting if Obi-Wan just... hadn't had any weird latent feelings about Satine, if he hadn't ever regretted leaving her and he was just totally fine about it all.

Just IMAGINE a scenario where both Obi-Wan and Satine are just... normal and professional around each other and at some point Anakin asks about their history and Obi-Wan's like "yeah and Satine asked me to stay with her, but I obviously said no and that was that" and Anakin just EXPLODES because WHAT?? When he and Padme first saw each other again, he'd nearly burst a blood vessel and he'd been so awkward and weird and he could barely manage to be in the same room as her, how is Obi-Wan so CALM about it all, he never would've guessed that Obi-Wan had had feelings for her. And Obi-Wan just kinda shrugs and is like, "I dunno, it was like 20 years ago, people grow up and move on and I like being a Jedi, it's not that big a deal." Anakin spends the rest of the episode trying desperately to get Obi-Wan to admit that he still has feelings for Satine, that he regrets having left her, or SOMETHING and it just never happens.

For one, it's fucking hilarious. Obi-Wan being a font of calm as Anakin runs around trying to force Obi-Wan NOT to be calm because HOW DARE Obi-Wan be normal about something Anakin is incapable of being normal about himself.

For two, it provides a really interesting and obvious counterpoint to Anakin in a way that I personally feel works WAY better than what canon actually did. Obi-Wan had feelings for someone, they were real, but he was a Jedi who actually LIKED being a Jedi and so he said no when his partner asked him for more than he was capable of giving and it just didn't cause him all that much distress. That contrasts SO WELL with Anakin who can't let go of anything or anyone ever, who literally held onto a childhood crush for TEN YEARS and was incapable of not being a creepy idiot around his crush for more than the first like 2 seconds of their interaction. Romance just doesn't have to be some big impactful thing for Obi-Wan in the way that it is for Anakin. It can be nice, sure, it can be fun, but it's not something he NEEDS the way Anakin does. He doesn't have any remorse or regret about choosing the Jedi. He never wonders about what might've been because he knows it would've just been way less satisfying of a life for him.

[smokeypeaches-and-honeyplums]

First i just wanna say your headcanons are seriously top notch, excellent work 👌. Ok now onto the actual request, could you do the NSFW alphaber for Macaque like you did for Redson? Don't forget to have a lovely day. 💙

What a way for me to return lmao. Thank you for the compliment, I tend to get self conscious about my writing.

You've heard it all before. Sorry for being inactive, I'm coming back, especially with the new specials coming out. I have more time on my hands. Gonna go through the box until I can start accepting again.

Edit post-s5: all is hell and I just need to cope atp what the FUCK was that season/pos

Reader is Gender-Neutral by default!

// NSFW!! MINORS DNI //

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I like to imagine Macaque is very cuddly for aftercare. Tapping into his primal side, he's more possessive and protective. So, he holds onto you, petting you as he whispers in your ear, helping you down from subspace if he has to (or domspace if you topped).

Given he has portals, shadow travel and clones, he can get all your needs met without leaving you. So, you get cuddles AND resources provided. The perfect aftercare.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Macaque honestly doesn't like much about himself. He can talk the talk, looking as if he has a healthy or overbearing ego, but get him alone for long enough? He'll be second guessing how he even blinks

Exaggerating, of course

Point is, there's not much. A lot of it has been marred as well, so it makes it worse. Though, he's come to love his face. With or without the glamour, you've gotten this far with him and loved him through his roughest time. And it's one of the things you seemed to fall for

Besides, he's gotta admit, he does look a bit on the good side.

On you though, if you're Masc leaning, he loves your arms. Shows your strength and capabilities, and their nice to look at. It feels nice to be vulnerable in them

If you're Fem leaning, he'll admit, he's a bit of an ass guy. Ass and thighs, specifically. Their nice to lay on. And they also feel so nice between his fingers, against his hips...

Ahem.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Leaning into that more primal side, Macaque likes to mark you now and then. He isn't very fond of making messes, borderline germaphobe if you asked me, but there's a part of him that likes to make a mess out of you specifically, in such a way no one else could, in such an intimate setting

It gives him a sense of control and possession of something intimate he's honestly been lacking for... however long its been honestly

However, if you make big messes/are a squirter, he's eating that shit up, figuratively and literally

It's like ambrosia on his tongue

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Believe it or not? Macaque doesn't really have a dirty secret. None he would consider one, anyways.

But, a secret at ALL would be how Macaque really wants to be cherished. He DOES want to give up control to a degree, he's just scared of getting hurt again. You can only do so much to heal his soul, so when he DOES bottom, CHERISH it. He doesn't do it easy

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Can I say no? Not really?

Okay, well, not completely, but he's a quick learner

Macaque has been dead for however long it's been. And in that time, he definitely kept to himself A LOT. Hard to make connections when you're supposed to be, ya know, DEAD. So he didn't pick up much. But he did pick up SOMETHING

But, he's a quick learner. So don't worry too much. He does ask that you tell him if he's doing something wrong though, he doesn't wanna hurt you

That's the last thing he wants to do

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Honestly, in contrast to Redson, Macaque hates any position where you can see his face in turn. Sure, he loves to see yours, but contrary to popular belief, he HATES how he looks.

He knows how to fake it til he makes it, so that confidence is very exaggerated

But hey, at least he still gets to have a good show as he has his way with you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He'll pop a joke now and again, don't get me wrong. Macaque isn't AS much of a hardass about it in comparison to how Redson would be about the moment. Though he doesn't want it completely ruined

He won't hesitate to make you laugh though. Especially if it helps ease tension

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's a monkey. Hair goes crazy

Macaque never thought to really groom down there. I mean, why would he? He never expected to get to this point with anyone again.

So no, he's not really "well groomed," so I hope you don't mind fur in your mouth if you go to town on him in either regard on either side

He does develop a habit to get better groomed though.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Macaque is very intimate. He cherishes this, cherishes YOU. You mean so, so much. You've gotten this far with him, so he treasures you and whenever you guys get down and dirty, he does it with the intention of love making.

No primal urges

No biting (unless you want to, that is)

Just pure and utter devotion.

Maybe it's because it's all he's known, but it's how he shows his love to you. Praise and devotion.

uh- where were we again?

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Macaque only really starts to masturbate proper when he gets in a relationship with you and start to get intimate (or just, getting intimate in general if you're just fwb)

Don't get me wrong! It's not like he HASN'T touched himself before. He's a demon at the end of the day, urges happen

It just increased in frequency when he got tangled up with you

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Honestly? BDSM. Especially Bondage. Bondage specifically on you, though. For... obvious and not so obvious reasons

Roleplay! He's an actor, he's dramatic, he's a theater kid. He's gotta put it somewhere, right?

He's very partial to oral and might even have an Asphyxiation kink, in regard to both of you. Especially you though. And, in moderation so neither of you get hurt

Likes to use his clones on you now and again. It's fun to see

Would you believe me if I said he has a slight Exhibition kink? Listen to my vision-

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

As far away from FFM as possible /hj

Macaque prefers it to be somewhere he can have you to himself. In the future, or some point in time, he could entertain the idea of sharing. Maybe. But until then, no one gets to see the faces you make.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Macaque is a simple man/demon. Anything on average to get ANYONE going would get him going

Show a bit of skin in the right places, curve a certain way, bend over in front of him

He's a simple man/demon. He's allowed to give in to his vices when he's tempted by the likes of you

If you're Masc leaning, he'll start to get going just from seeing your arms and muscles flex, even if you're doing something simple. He folds easy

If you're Fem leaning, anything that shows off your ass and/or thighs has him weak in the knees and absolutely unable to keep his hands to himself. He folds easy²

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Macaque absolutely REFUSES to be bound. He'll entertain the idea of holding himself back, but he REFUSES to have his legs and arms bound. For, again, obvious and not-so obvious reasons

Macaque REFUSES to hurt you in any way beyond the asphyxiation. He regards you in such a high light, that he refuses to purposefully hurt you. It'd destroy him, no matter how much you would tell him its okay, no matter the context. So no knifeplay, bloodplay, or anything of that sort.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Macaque's asphyxiation kink purely stems from oral, I am gonna be honest

He'dchokeonthestrap

He prefers to give than to receive, but if offered, he'll DEFINITELY take the chance. You didn't hear that from me though

He also likes the praise he gets from it too, but again, didn't hear that from me

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

If you couldn't tell from how much I say it, Macaque revels in you as a whole, so he likes to take it slow.

He tends to take things slow, no matter what it is, so you better best believe that he is taking his time with you. He'll squeeze in some teasing too to make you feel good

He wants to savour you

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Just because Macaque wants to savour you, doesn't mean he can't also have appetizers now and again

He'll have a quickie now and again, but don't be surprised if he asks for more. But it's also not impossible for it to be enough for him, so if he needs to get off, he'll settle

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

If you can't tell, the answer is No. For most things

Macaque is still willing to experiment, don't get me wrong, but he has very set boundaries for what area he'll be willing to experiment with and what he won't.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Look at him. Look at him and tell me you don't think he wouldn't be able to LAST.

Macaque's capable of a lot of things in and out of combat, so he definitely has the Stamina to last. Honestly, I have a general headcanon that demons, especially more powerful ones, have tons of stamina.

Have fun walking if you teased him :D

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Toys are a possibility. Macaque doesn't own em, so you'd have to bring them into the fray first.

Tease him though, and watch him melt in your hands when you get him to bottom. He makes the sweetest sounds

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Macaque's only unfair if you're unfair. And he'll always return the favor tenfold, no matter how badly you teased him. It's only fair, right? And besides, it's not like he's the only one that makes such sweet sounds

But trust, if Macaque starts teasing, you're in for a LONG night

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Macaque has sensitive hearing, if you couldn't tell, but that makes it all the better to him

He loves to growl in your ear if he tops, hear his pants and moans as he makes both of you feel good, hitting that spot you told him felt so good that one time, feeling you cling to him

And when he bottoms? He goes the full fucking MILE

Macaque is LOUD when he bottoms. If he's being this vulnerable, he might as well go all out. So he WHINES, he CRIES and by the great sage, does he MOAN.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Macaque's a dom-leaning switch, if you couldn't tell by now from what I've been implying, only bottoming once he's comfortable enough to and with his initiation the first go around

Also, whenever he teases, I like to imagine he likes to use his shadow abilities for various ideas (with your approval, of course). This includes Bondage, his clones, transformation. I mean, shit, sky's the limit

I also like to think he's not very good with the usual things at first. Things like dirty talk, foreplay, stuff like that. He will ask for guidance. He doesn't wanna fuck it up with you

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I can FINALLY talk about it

Macaque's not some "well-endowed" sex master, so he's not gonna be packing some star-seeing dick either. Well, he could, when he knows how to use it

The guy's above average, at 7.1 inches and 5 in. in width lacking in curvature. He's never thought anything of it, since he never needed to use it often

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Demons have a naturally high libido, and Macaque is no different.

Same as I said with Redson, Macaque isn't some raging, horny demon just because of the type of demon he is. He can be primal, but he has control over it

Entertain it though...

Have mercy on your legs

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Once Macaque finishes for the night (or, however long,) he can be seen almost passing out. He'll make sure you're fine, hence why he kinda leans on his clones to care for you while he cuddles into you, but he kinda crashes out once he's officially spent. A bad habit of his

[therabine]

We've got some new cover art and as someone who works in digital media and deals with AI content on daily basis this new cover for Troy Saga set off an alarm in my brain. Naturally I sank into an analyzing spiral, because that's just how my brain works.

"Looks like an AI art with repaints on top" I thought to myself, but to be sure I've checked it with different AI recognizing software (remember kids, if you use AI to generate your art, other AI can reverse engineer the process and identify it!). But so can a human eye most of the time. Pay attention to the combination of these identificators:

- weird blur

- different lines of horizon in one image

- bonkers anatomy/construction errors

- high contrast

- a lot of nonsense happening in the background

The results of AI checkup on the new Troy cover art were mixed

"Okay, let's check out the original Troy Saga cover, I like this one"

Yep, it has no out of place blur, the wooden horse's anatomy doesn't weird me out, the backgrounds look nice, deliberately painted with attention and care, I can make sense of the individual strokes. Good to know that my eyes are still good for something.

"Just to be sure, let's check out the Cyclop's Saga"

Okay, now it's proper weird. Maybe the Hive is off caliber? Wait five minutes, let me make a quick AI Thunder Saga cover art.

Nope, still works. What about other covers?

Fascinating! To be honest Circe Saga cover art doesn't look like Ai to me (all three animals are drawn with nice proportions and the lion is probably drawn with the help of Symmetry tool in Procreate, AI is surprisingly shitty at doing perfect symmetry).

Maybe it's the style of the artist that's confusing to the AI detector? Zwist seems to be particularly fond of whirlwind designs in all of her artwork (bad AI art often does weird stripes and whirlwinds, especially when you're trying to generate something which doesn't have a lot of references for it in the dataset that AI is trained on). Let's run Hive on her original artwork with a lot of whirlwinds and a wonky tree.

...okay. Now that is weird.

Look, I'm not saying that Zwist is a bad artist or something, using Ai isn't against the law and she clearly can paint better than I do. She is talented, go show love to her original artworks that are not Epic related. Hell, I can't even prove with 100% certainty that AI was used at all. Just because I don't like the new Troy cover art doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy it too.

But the whole situation is fascinating to me. A lot of people on insta ask if the new Troy cover is AI, only to be shut down by fans who scream "no, that's just her artsyle and X confirmed that it's not AI, you are just haters".

YOU ARE NOW IN THE UPDATED PART OF THE POST

Special thanks to the people who shared the link to the new Troy Saga cover art speedpaint for erasing my doubts and providing a respectful conversation in the comments.

Watched through the speedpaint a few times, trying to figure why the end image became unsettling enough for a lot of people (myself included) to assume it's AI.

My guess is that Zwist has developed for herself an intricate decorative style, but isn't very familiar with so called 'academic' art.

Why do I think that? Well, I wanted to see how artists of the past depicted the wooden horse, and do you know what image you see when you type up 'Trojan horse' into Google? That's right, it's the giant prop from the movie Troy (2004). And you know, no shame here, using references to draw something you've never seen before is good, I'm just shocked I didn't recognize this design sooner it's very cool. What I really like about it is that it really looks like it's been made rather fast from the scraps of the broken down ships and yet it still resembles an actual horse. Look at the cute pointy ears! Look at the mouth of it! This gorgeous posture!

What's even better, it still exists somewhere in Turkey (well maybe not the actual prop, but the full size replica of it), so there's a ton of photos from different points of view. My best guess is that Zweist used this one as a reference for the new Troy Saga cover:

And here's a problem - this is a very complex structure to draw. Not only that, but Zweist also uses two light sources - moonlight from above and the light of the fire below, which means that we have two different sets of shadows emerging from these light sources.

Unlike all other covers that are very decorative in nature, this one is attempted to be very realistic, almost cinematic in its use of lighting. With all that extra complication it's easy to set yourself up for failure and get too much in the details while losing the larger shapes.

Unfortunately in her simplification of the original reference Zweist completely neglects all the intricate shapes and planes that make up the wooden horse. She forgets that wood cannot bend in circles like that, or that unpolished wood is a low-reflective surface (which means that even the lightest spot lit up by the firelight will be darker than the light on the sand/marble/metal coming from the same light source). It seems like she doesn't analyze the shape of it at all, so we lose the majestic posture and the shape of the horse head.

Just for the fun of it I used 1,5 hours of my time to photobash the reference photo into the original Zweist background. It's very rough (I literally painted everything using nothing but a standard Photoshop round brush and a computer mouse), but I think it gets my point across.

I'm too tired to redo the background and this post is already ridiculously long. But I think that it suffers from the same problems - lack of research and care. Those are just some random shapes taking up space. I get that it's supposedly a burning Troy we see around, but does it look like anything to you? I mean really? Again, it's just a shapeless mess. And all of that could be avoided with a bit of extra research and analysis. There's more to the ancient ruins that the same set of columns over and over.

So, what is can we learn from it? What is the conclusion?

Zwist is a talented young artist, but painting "realistically" isn't her strongest suit. You may like her style, or you may not, but I think there is a difference between "doing it your way" and "trying to succeed and failing". She may try to learn from this situation in two ways: 1) work around her stronger sides making the next covers with simpler designs and less intricate lighting or 2) practice the more realistic style and get better at it.

I don't know the exact reasons why the AI recognizing software flagged some of her work as AI generated. But I think that if it's not just your audience who starts to wonder if you used AI, but you somehow manage to confuse the very program that detects AI, then you've got a problem with your art.

If we want to beat AI companies in their game and stay relevant as professional artists we can no longer produce mindless art. We can no longer afford to produce sloppy work. As sad as it is, within next 10 years there is going to be a large shift in understanding and producing art as we know it. If the art we create can be easily replicated by AI or will look like it's been made with AI, then no one would bother to commission art from you. We have to adapt, to find new ways of exploring our creativity, perhaps even to create a new visual language of expressing ourselves.

In the end of a day human art always beats AI art. You know why? Because AI is not really Artificial Intelligence. It's just a very complex algorithm that is good at recognizing patterns. That's all it is. It doesn't have a conscience, it has no context for the human experience, it cannot think, and most importantly - it cannot invent.

So I want to end this post on the hopeful note - the art will survive. The artists will survive. And if we can learn anything from this situation is that kindness and open dialog is the vest way to deal with confusion. Once again I want to thank everyone who was kind enough to comment on and engage with this post. It grew out of love for something that is deep and personal to me (Epic) to a larger discussion of the changes in the world of visual art (something I love and care for even more). Hope this update spawns more nuanced and respectful discussion on the topic!

[sarah-yyy]

what: modern cdrama // completed // 38 eps, roughly 35 mins each where: wetv (also on the app) // viki why: desert supernatural adventure with ni ni and bai yu, this had "sarah is going to lose it over this show" written all over it right from the start tbh, zero percent of people are surprised i enjoyed it. the characters are all well done and ni ni and bygg were great in their roles, the worldbuilding for the society inside yumen was interesting, and the cgi is well done for the genre (i mean...this is basing it off cdrama cgi standards okay!!)

meet my girl ye liuxi:

GOD... xi-jie... 😘 where do we even start

brains: 10 brawns: 100 memory: -300

xi-jie woke up in the middle of the desert, hung on a tree, with no idea who she is, v fragmented memories of the past, and a satchel with some v vague clues. she spends about a year working odd jobs in a town nearby to survive and to work out a plan to find out about her past.

her investigations lead her to chang dong:

dong-ge!! 😍🤤

brains: 10 brawns: 10 memory: 10 (but like 95% of it is tragic)

dong-ge is a desert guide, used to be one of the best (and certainly one of the most famous) in the region until he led an expedition (which consisted of his fiancée and their friends) into the desert and all eighteen of them except him died during a freak sandstorm. major survivor guilt on this boy. ultimate goal is to find the remains of his friends so that their families can move on in peace.

anyway, xi-jie ropes dong-ge into taking her into the desert. it's heavily implied that pre-memory lost her knows where the remains of his dead fiancée is, so the deal is: help me find my memory, and i'll help you find your friends.

they travel to the Yumen Pass together with three others - fei tang (who tags along for an opportunity to steal this priceless artefact he saw on xi-jie), and xiaoliu & gao shen (xiaoliu's godfather is sponsoring the trip for ~reasons, gao shen is her bodyguard with a crush on her), but soon realise that the pass leads to a parallel world where xi-jie is originally from.

in that world, there are spiritual beasts and monsters and all that jazz. the parallel world is governed by three ruling families who fight against a rebel organisation the Scorpion Eye. the gang navigates through the parallel world trying to solve the mystery behind xi-jie's past and the Yumen Pass prophecy. that's p much the gist of it.

the cons: this show moves a little slowly at times, but once you get invested, everything is all good. i'd say the first 2-4 eps needed a bit of getting into, but it does pick up. meng ziyi is in this as well, but i was a bit :/ about her performance - her character needed a bit more nuance and would've benefitted from a better portrayal than what mzy delivered. not something that really put me off the show, tho!!

the pros: ye liuxi is such an excellent character!! she is super fight fight fight and has Minimal impulse control. if a fight can solve problems, that's the way she's going. she starts off a bit "stick close, because if y'all die in the desert i'm not going to care" but just...grows so invested in everyone's wellbeing. chang dong is a nice contrast to ye liuxi - he's level-headed and is more focused on plans and trying to get everyone in and out of the Pass alive. the chemistry between them is great, like i didn't think i would be into this for the romance but GOD DAMN look at my dongxi couple

ni ni and bai yu aside, the rest of the gang were great also - they provided a lot of laughs to cut through the seriousness of the show, and the growing friendship between them was really fun to watch.

the plot was decent!! you can sort of guess the direction it's going, but it doesn't stop it from being a super fun show to watch. i binged like the last 10 eps in one sitting. i also really did appreciate the show giving me the finale i wanted: everything wraps up nicely (*stares at mlc*), there're no loose ends for me to lose my shit over (*stares at my journey to you*).

all in all, a p strong 9/10 for me!! would enjoy if y'all are into those desert adventure cdramas. would enjoy if y'all are bygg fans.

[kesujo]

Opposites Attract

“Tiff?”

A smile befell said woman’s face when she felt a thin pair of arms encircle her waist.

“Jess?”

Jessica planted her head on the smiling woman’s shoulder, enjoying the softness of Tiffany’s hair on her cheek and the smooth texture of Tiffany’s stomach on her hands, her midriff exposed by her choice of top.

“Let’s not go to that party,” the slightly shorter woman suggested, planting a kiss directly underneath to Tiffany’s ear. A musical giggle emitted from Tiffany’s lips, jumping slightly at the ticklish sensation. “Let’s just stay at home and watch a movie and cuddle.”

“I already promised Taeyeon we’d go though,” Tiffany reminded the pouting woman, locking eyes with her through the giant bathroom mirror in front of them. “Plus, it’s going to be fun! I heard there’s going to be drinking games.”

“Mmm,” Jessica hummed, leaning further into the woman trapped inside her arms, “You look so good, Tiff.”

“Hm?” The recipient of the compliment, although commonly the recipient of such words, found herself fighting back a blush nonetheless. “Where’d that come from?”

Hearing her girlfriend laugh nervously as she normally did when flustered, Jessica smiled. “I haven’t seen you wear this top before. Did you buy it for this party?”

“Mhm.”

“Green looks great on you.”

“Tha—”

“Your abs look so sexy, and it makes your boobs look amazing, too.”

This time, Tiffany couldn’t hide the redness now overtaking her face. “O-Oh, does it?”

Jessica nodded, continuing to watch Tiffany put the final touches on her makeup. “I don’t want everyone else noticing how sexy my girlfriend is.”

“…So, are you saying that other outfits don’t make me look sexy?”

Jessica’s facial expression morphed into a conflicted frown. “Well, no…”

“So, no matter what I would wear, everyone would be able to see how sexy I am, right?”

Defeated by the now smugly smiling woman’s superior logic, Jessica conceded, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“So it’s no problem if I go to the party wearing this, right?”

“…I guess not…”

The hands around her waist were pulled off and the previously trapped woman turned around to face the defeated expression of her girlfriend. “Come on, the party’s going to be fun! I promise! And if you don’t think so, we can just leave early. OK?”

Jessica nodded, albeit more as a gesture of acceptance rather than the one of excitement Tiffany was hoping for. Seeing it, Tiffany sighed, opening her mouth to add something else, not believing she was actually saying what she was about to say. “There’s gonna be a lot of people there you can tease me in front of.”

As expected, that perked Jessica’s attention, her dreary eyes gaining an excited focus and her lips curling back into a smile. “Oh!”

Tiffany half wondered why she subjected herself to this but was quickly reminded upon seeing Jessica’s freshly excited expression. Damn, was she absolutely whipped for this cutie. “Shall we go?”

“Let’s walk.” When Tiffany gave her a strange expression, one that clearly asked who-are-you-and-what-have-you-done-with-my-Jessica, she elaborated. “The weather’s nice.” And although Jessica didn’t include her secret other reason, that she wanted to spend more alone time with Tiffany, the acquiescing woman understood it to be the case all the same.

“Do you want me to carry that?”

After departing, Tiffany made sure to bring along a bag she had prepared days before: a birthday present for Taeyeon, a few scented candles Tiffany thought she would like. “It’s ok, I don’t want my girlfriend-who-hates-any-physical-activity-but-is-somehow-an-amazing-dancer to run out of energy before we even arrive.”

The smile on Jessica’s face provided a contrast to her childish, defiant gesture of sticking her tongue out at the accusatory woman. “I wouldn’t have had to waste all that time and energy if you hadn’t told me you liked guys who were great dancers back in middle school.”

“But you look so sexy when you’re dancing, so it’s a win-win, isn’t it?”

Hearing that again perked Jessica’s attention. “Oh … do I really?”

Tiffany laughed. “This isn’t the first time I’ve told you this—heck, this probably isn’t even the hundredth time I’ve told you this. What are you acting so surprised about?” Jessica didn’t reply, instead humming happily with a smile on her face and a pep to her step, swinging their arms connected via their interlocked hands with more gusto. Tiffany couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re so easy to please.”

“Hey, don’t say that! It’s just that you’re great at pleasing me!”

Tiffany’s eyes widened, immediately noticing the innuendo in her sentence, erasing the surprise in her face when she noticed her girlfriend completely oblivious to it. How ironic was it that Jessica was usually the one making dirty, teasing remarks but Tiffany was the one with the dirtier mind? But it was something that Tiffany loved about her innocent significant other: it just went to show that it was Tiffany herself that brought out Jessica’s perverted side. On the other hand, because she did have those thoughts, what did it say about herself?

No, it didn’t necessarily say anything. Plus, she rarely had those kinds of thoughts with anyone else.

“Why are you shaking your head?”

“Hm? Oh! Nothing, I was just thinking about something.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

Tiffany nodded, and although Jessica was curious, she left it at that. The walk itself was twenty or so minutes, but despite taking a bit longer to get there than intended, the couple were still amongst the first to arrive.

“Oh, it’s JeTi! Come in!”

Sunny stepped aside, ushering the two in. “You’re like the third and fourth people to arrive.”

“Really? Wow, I guess walking really was worth it,” Tiffany chirped, dropping off her shoes at the entry and pulling Jessica further into the residence.

“Oh, did you guys walk?” Hyeri was the next to appear, a barely touched bottle of alcohol in her hand. It seemed like the bottle was put into her hands against her wishes—probably by Sunny—and she carried around more out of courtesy than a desire to drink. “Good thing, because did you see the parking lot? There’s barely any more space for guests!”

“Oh really? Aren’t there supposed to be, like, twenty people showing up?”

“Yeah, I know right?” The trio wandered into the kitchen, Sunny having already scurried there before them, seeing Sooyoung sitting at the island table chatting away with Taeyeon at the stove, cooking. “That’s what you get for being so popular, Taengoo.”

“Hm?” The petite woman turned around, her eyes sparkling with joy when they landed on the newly arrived couple. “Oh! Tiffany, Jessica, hi! Welcome, so glad you could make it! I would hug you, but…” the turner in her hand helped her gesture to the apron adorning her torso, already sullied with what appeared to be a smear of some kind of sauce for meat.

“No worries, and happy birthday!”

“Happy birthday,” Jessica chimed in.

“Where should we put your gift?”

“Gift? What—oh, you didn’t have to get me a gift! Just seeing you two lovebirds—…” a pause, and then, “on second thought, it’s great compensation for all the jealousy I’m about to feel seeing you two being all lovey-dovey.” Tiffany laughed, Jessica simply smiling in response. “You can put them there,” she said, gesturing to where two presents were already situated. “And feel free to grab a drink!”

“Taeyeon, your meat!”

 “Hm? My—oh, shit—! … Wait, it’s fine!”

“You call those burn marks ‘fine’?”

“It’s—…just a little! I can just carve it out!”

Sooyoung huffed. “But all that wasted food…”

The next to arrive was Yoona and Yuri, followed by the two Joohyuns that thankfully went by other names: Irene and Seohyun. As the kitchen got crowded, everyone not helping with the cooking migrated to the living room. Tiffany was lively as ever, Jessica sitting by her side being as quiet as ever. She was following the conversation but just didn’t have anything to add; even when she did, she couldn’t bring herself to interject when someone else was speaking or was afraid she might cut someone else off if she began prematurely. So instead, Jessica marveled at her girlfriend’s ability to slip into social situations so seamlessly and found herself mostly just staring at her, moving from simply sitting next to her on the couch to wrapping her arm around Tiffany’s to pulling it to her chest to resting her head against her shoulder and tucking it in the crook of her neck after Tiffany adjusted the angle of her head to allow Jessica to do so.

With each stage of increasing intimacy, the embarrassment slowly built up until finally, Jessica’s display of affection drew the attention of everyone else.

“Look at you two, making me jealous as usual.”

“O-Oh, really?” Tiffany laughed nervously, the embarrassment finally showing as a pink hue adorning the tips of her ears. Her head turned towards the girl leaning on her shoulder only to find Jessica’s brown orbs centimeters from her face staring right back. The proximity of Jessica’s face to Tiffany caused her face to erupt in a fit of pink, fighting the urge to jump in response but unable to help the meek, surprised squeal that escaped her lips.

The response brought a smile to Jessica’s face, her arms circling around her girlfriend’s slim waist and pulling her closer. “Why’s your face so red? Are you embarrassed of me?”

“I—no—it’s that—I’m not—you’re—I mean—” Jessica was pretty much the only person in the world that could bring Tiffany to this state, of being completely unable to speak, and the quieter woman loved that. It was like she had a superpower no one else possessed, not to mention how adorable and entertaining it was to watch her stammer so helplessly.

Jessica pulled her lips into a very pointed frown. “Are you ashamed to show our love for each other in front of others? Don’t you love me?”

“You—You know it’s not that!”

Jessica could hear the giggles coming from the others in the room, and that only fueled the fire in her. “Prove it.”

“Wha—How?”

Jessica’s right hand moved away from Tiffany’s waist and to her own face, tapping her slightly puckered lips. “Kiss me.”

The suggestion again sent Tiffany into a flurry of redness and embarrassment, Jessica biting back the giddy grin that was fighting so hard to leak past her pouty visage. “R-Right here? Now?” With a simple nod as confirmation, Tiffany started panicking. She really did love Jessica, but one thing about her Tiffany could never keep up with was her willingness to be intimate in public. She wasn’t even sure where this came from; even when surrounded by people she had known for a long time, such as now, Jessica was usually quite reserved. That is, when it came to speaking. Why, then, did she so easily demanded kisses in front of the same crowd she often was too reserved to speak with?

And moreover, why was she always so easy to tease? How had she not already gotten used to Jessica’s antics?

Without deliberating much more on those topics, Tiffany quickly closed the distance and gave Jessica a peck on her waiting, pink lips. A surge of squeals erupted from the crowd watching them, only causing the red hue on Tiffany’s face to turn redder, the pout of Jessica’s lips now replaced with a content smile. “This was your idea,” Jessica mouthed to her, Tiffany having no choice but to nod in acknowledgement.

Yoona, who had been helping with the cooking, wandered in shortly after. “What’s happening here? Why’s everyone making so much noise?”

“JeTi’s just being their usual adorable selves,” answered Yeri.

“Aah, I see.” Jessica smiled, her right hand returning to Tiffany’s waist but her head with some distance from Tiffany’s shoulders.

“Do you guys need any help with the cooking?”

“We’re almost done, you go back to cuddling with your Tiffany and making everyone else in this room jealous.”

“Yes ma’am,” Jessica answered, playfully saluting her. Yoona giggled at the response, whisking off back into the kitchen, conversation in the living room shortly afterwards picking back up.

However, this time, Tiffany didn’t join. “Since when did you get so close to Yoona?”

Hearing the poorly masked jealous inquiry made Jessica break out into a wide grin. “Aww, are you jealous?” she cooed, reaching up to pinch Tiffany’s cheeks.

“No, I—” Tiffany recoiled, escaping Jessica’s fingers, before finishing her sentence, “—I was just saying, because that was like the first thing you said since arriving here other than ‘Happy Birthday’ to Taeyeon.”

“Don’t you worry, I love you much more than Yoona.”

“…but you still love her?”

“Well, whose waist do I have my arms wrapped around right now?”

Tiffany huffed, defeated. “Don’t call other women ‘ma’am’. You’re only allowed to call me that.”

“Yes, mommy.”

Again, Tiffany’s face exploded in a fit of red. “I—I said ‘ma’am’, not ‘mommy’!”

The advantages of having a loud voice: people could hear her easily, it suited her extroverted nature well, and it was always easy to identify her as well as to find other people in a crowd.

The disadvantages of having a loud voice: people stared daggers at her in quieter places like libraries, and whenever Tiffany was having embarrassed outbursts, she often times couldn’t control the fact that her voice pierced the room she was in.

What followed was a brief moment of silence and confusion, then an explosion of laughter.

“What are you two even talking about?”

“N-Nothing!”

“Tiffany was just saying—” before Jessica could say anything incriminating, the embarrassed girlfriend of the speaker interrupted the sentence with a hand to the mouth.

“It’s-It’s private!”

“Oh, I’m sure it is.”

“No, I—I’m not even going to say anything.” Jessica joined everyone else in laughter, her hands moving up and wrapping around the sulking girl’s shoulders, allowing the flustered girlfriend to hide her face in Jessica’s chest. “Jess, help, they’re bullying me…”

“You brought this on yourself, Tiff.”

In a split second, Tiffany withdrew her head and looked up at her significant other, bewildered. “This was because you said—you said that thing!”

Seeing Tiffany pout and sulk, Jessica could do nothing but completely melt. “Aw, you’re right, I’m so sorry,” she cooed back in reply, tenderly placing a peck on Tiffany’s pouty lips. And although Tiffany felt the tips of her ears burn a little brighter in embarrassment, a content smile befell her face, tucking her head back into Jessica’s chest and cuddling up to her closer.

A chorus of ‘aw’s filled the room.

“They’re soo cuute~”

“I’m so jealous…”

“It’s like they have reverse personalities when they’re with each other.”

“I know, I would’ve never expected Tiffany to be so meek around Jessica if I hadn’t known them for so long.”

“Even as someone who has known them for so long, it’s still a little surprising sometimes.”

“You guys are making wish I had a boyfriend…”

Not knowing how to respond, Jessica just smiled back, eventually deciding it was ok for her to stay silent since Tiffany also didn’t respond. By the time Sunny popped back in the living room and announced that dinner was ready, there were probably two to three times as many people as there was space on both couches.

For dinner, Tiffany returned to her usual energetic self, occasionally interrupted by Jessica feeding her from their shared plate.

Observing this, Taeyeon plopped herself by Jessica’s side. “Are you her servant or something?”

“Something like that,” Jessica agreed, chuckling, “Hey, Taeyeon. Everything is delicious, by the way, I’m sorry you had to prepare all of this when we’re celebrating your birthday.”

“Oh, no! Don’t worry about it, I love seeing people enjoying my food.”

“I would say I love it, but Tiff might get jealous I’m proclaiming my love for anything or anyone but her.”

“Hey, don’t make such ridiculous claims!” Tiffany, who was acutely aware of Taeyeon seating herself next to Jessica, slipped out of the conversation she was having to pay more attention to the two women in her immediate vicinity.

“But you made such a big deal out of me not calling you—” Tiffany’s ear tips immediately broke out into a pink hue, her hand hastily reaching up to cover her mouth.

“You don’t have to tell her that!”

“Tell me what?” When the two turned to her, they were frankly disarmed by the innocent curiosity Taeyeon’s face. “I heard some commotion a while ago and Yoona came to check it out but wouldn’t tell us what it was about. Was it you two?”

“No, it—”

“Tiffany was telling me that I was the only allowed her to call her ‘mommy’.”

Taeyeon’s face similarly exploded into a pink hue, responding with a brief, “O-Oh!”

Seeing the bewildered, flustered reaction caused Jessica to laugh out loud, Tiffany interjecting, “That’s not what I said!”

“It’s ok Fany, I’m not kink-shaming you.”

“Taeyeon—see Jess? Now you got this weird idea into Taeyeon’s poor, innocent head.”

Taeyeon joined Jessica in laughter, continuing, “You two are so cute, every time I see you, I wish I had a boyfriend.”

“With how hot you are, it’s a wonder you don’t have a boyfriend.”

Taeyeon laughed, but before she could answer, Jessica chimed in. “What about me?”

Being met with Jessica’s big, round eyes peering at her, her head tilted like a puppy listening to music for the first time, Tiffany could do nothing but completely melt. “Oh! Wow, you’re a cutie, are you single?”

“I’m not, actually,” was Jessica’s reply spoken past the playful grin on her face, “But I asked about how hot I am.”

“Hot enough that I don’t care that you’re not single, why don’t you be mine?”

“Hmm…” Jessica pursed her lips, tapping the soft pink tissue with her finger before saying, “my girlfriend gets jealous easily, so I don’t know…”

“God, you two are so cute, you’re doing a really good job at making me jealous. I might need another present from you two at this rate.”

The trio shared another laugh before Taeyeon thanked them again for coming and, being the host of the party, excused herself to greet and thank some other people. Tiffany hopped into another conversation with Jessica following closely behind, people finishing their meals slowly for the next few hours, breaking out in different groups to continue to talk or play games on the Switch plugged into the apartment’s TV until Taeyeon gathered everyone into the living room.

“We’re going to start playing drinking games, so everyone make sure you have a drink!”

After some shuffling, Taeyeon proceeded to explain the game.

“The game is called ‘paranoia’. How it goes is that someone chooses a person to whisper a question to, specifically a question whose answer is a person, but only the answer is spoken out loud. Whoever wants to know what the question was takes a drink, but the answerer can decide to reveal the question or take a drink themselves. Then, the answer goes next, choosing someone else to ask a question to, and so on. So, who wants to start?”

“Well, it has to be you, right?”

The room erupted in agreement, the game starting with Taeyeon asking Sunny a question whose answer turned out to be Taeyeon herself.

“Huh? Really? Not, like, Sooyoung or something?”

“Huh? What about me?”

“Yeah! Is that so hard to believe?” Sunny asked, laughing.

“I just … I just thought, I live such a boring life, why me?”

“Wait, are you calling me boring, Taeyeon?” The room burst into laughter, Jessica smiling along while feeling the shaking laughter pass through her girlfriend’s entire body.

“I love feeling your laughter in my arms.”

The completely out-of-the-blue statement caught Tiffany off-guard, turning to look at the owner of the pair of arms wrapped around her waist with an inquisitive expression. “What?”

“Feeling your entire body shake when you’re laughing when I’m hugging you feels really comforting,” Jessica elaborated, although the explanation didn’t do much to appease her confusion.

The commotion about the game faded into the background as Tiffany tried to better understand the sudden confession, but to no avail. “What … why?”

Jessica shrugged, the smile never leaving her lips. “It just does.”

Gradually, Tiffany’s expression morphed into an amused one. “You’re weird.”

Jessica crinkled her nose at her. “No, you.”

This elicited a giggle from Tiffany, lovingly tapping the crinkled nose. “I love feeling your arms around me when I’m laughing.”

“You know what, I’m going to choose Jessica just because them being all lovey-dovey is making me annoyed.”

Hyoyeon’s sudden affirmation and the resulting laughter snapped the couple back into the room. A whispered inquiry later, Jessica pursed her lips and pondered a bit before answering. “To be honest, I’m not too sure if it’s Brenda Song or Tiffany, but definitely one of the two.”

Tiffany was already ready to down the drink to inquire about the question, but Hyoyeon’s devilish grin all but forced her to do it. However, it wasn’t that Tiffany downed the drink that caused everyone to laugh, but the speed at which she did it.

“Oh, is this jealousy?”

“…A little bit,” Tiffany admitted, causing additional laughter, “But I also want to know what I would be on the same level as Brenda Song with.”

“The question was, ‘who made you realize you were a lesbian?’”

Although Tiffany had already known this piece of information, it was the resulting chorus of coos and ‘aw’s that made Tiffany flush.

“Wow, good for you Tiff.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet!”

“O-Ok, next question! Jess, who are you directing your question towards?”

The game went on, the baton passing from Jessica to Seohyun to Seulgi to Hyuna back to Taeyeon, who directed a question to Hyeri, who in turn directed one to Sooyoung. While the couple were following along with the game with their undivided attention, it was the question Sooyoung directed to Sunny that got their attention; especially because the answer Sunny gave was Jessica.

“Oh…”

“What? Are you happy?”

Jessica couldn’t help but laugh at another one of Tiffany’s jealous outbursts. “It’s not something to necessarily be happy about, I was just surprised.”

“It definitely is something to be happy about,” Sooyoung chimed in.

“You—why’d you say that? Now Tiffany’s gonna—” before Sunny could even finish her sentence, Tiffany had already downed a shot, earning laughter from the others. “See?”

“So?”

Sunny huffed, glaring at Sooyoung one more time before answering, “The question was, ‘whose body do you envy the most?’”

The anticipation of the question put her on edge, but the actual reveal of the question rendered her stunned. Seeing the pride in Tiffany’s expression did well to appease the anxiety regarding the question, but what was left was just confusion. “My … really?”

“The fact that you can still make out your curves wearing that huge blue poncho is just a testament to how great your proportions are, and you also have really pretty legs too. I don’t think I can say more without incurring Tiffany’s wrath, so I’ll just leave it at that.”

Hearing the explanation gave Tiffany an enormous surge of pride, and more importantly, gratitude. “See? It’s not only me who thinks it, even Sunny thinks so too.”

“Ah, yeah, I see…”

That marked the first time many of the people in the room heard Jessica speak with that voice: a reluctantly accepting tone, like she was confronted with something she didn’t want to accept. They were used to Jessica being quiet, they were even used to Jessica’s teasing remarks to Tiffany, and some had even seen Jessica cry while watching movies together, but rarely did she ever speak in such a dejected manner.

“Why else? Did you have more?”

Sunny, confused, hesitantly pressed ahead. “Well … I mean, just in general, everything about Jessica’s body is just so well proportioned. While I enjoy having big boobs, I sometimes wished they were a bit smaller: about Jessica’s size, roughly. And she also has a slim waist, which makes her hips look wider and butt look better…” Sunny carefully treaded on every word she spoke, but Tiffany seemed to smile wider at every one.

“I know, right?!” she beamed, turning her attention to Jessica, who was hiding her face in embarrassment. “Oh, Jessica? Are you ok?”

The embarrassment wasn’t just from the compliments, though. “I-I’m ok, I’m sorry.” Jessica’s hands reached up only to be intercepted by Tiffany, leaning down and gently dabbing away at the tears that had coalesced and spilled over onto her girlfriend’s face.

The room fell into silence, the onlookers whispering worriedly amongst themselves. “No one thinks you’re ‘too big’ in any way. You’re perfect, just the way you are.”

Jessica nodded, burying her face against Tiffany’s chest, taking a few deep breaths, shaking the tears away from her system.

“I’m … sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up anything bad…”

“No! Thank you for saying that, I think Jessica really needed to hear that, especially because I think so many people assume Jessica knows how great her body is with how much confidence she carries about herself.”

“I-I’m fine. Thank you, Sunny. Honestly, I’m surprised Tiffany didn’t get jealous at all, but I think you still might need to be careful when you go to sleep tonight.”

“Ya—I’m not that petty!” A smile quickly formed on Jessica’s face, the rest of the room breaking out into a careful laughter.

“Says the girl who got mad at me about a girl who you thought was staring at me for too long at the gym, only to find out later that she was actually checking the availability of the machine I was using.”

“B-But, I mean, you can’t blame me! I mean, you look so hot when you’re in your gym outfit!”

“Ew, get a room!”

“Yah, who said that?”

The jovial atmosphere quickly returned to the room, Taeyeon checking in on the couple after the game lost the interest of the party’s participants. A few more drinking games were played, people only starting to go home well past midnight. As Taeyeon offered them to drive back home because of how late it was, the couple stayed a bit longer to help clean up, Sunny hopping into the passenger seat send them off as well.

After situating themselves in the car, Sunny was the first to speak. “Sorry again, Jessica. I didn’t mean to poke at a sensitive topic.”

“Oh, no no no,” Jessica replied, embarrassment for crying in front of everyone ringing at the back of her mind, “It was a bit embarrassing to be complimented like that in front of everyone, but I’m thankful that you said it. There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

Sunny’s gaze lingered on her a bit longer, the apologetic smile similarly lingering on her lips. “You really do have a great body though, probably among the best in our friend group.”

An entire list of people who she would consider to have a better body than hers appeared in Jessica’s mind, but she refrained from saying it. Part of the reason was because she knew that she wasn’t supposed to refute compliments, but also because her social battery was so drained that she felt barely able to speak. When they arrived home, Jessica headed straight for the bed and collapsed face-first on it, not even bothering covering herself with the blanket.

And although Tiffany felt bad for her, knowing how draining social events can be for her incredibly introverted girlfriend, she couldn’t help but smile. Her girlfriend really was way too adorable.

“Come on, Jess, we need to wash. At least brush your teeth before going to bed.”

“Help me then, mommy,” Jessica offered, turning around and holding her arms out like a spoiled child.

Tiffany laughed. “You’re too adorable.” She obliging her girlfriend’s request, helping her to her feet. It was mostly silent in the bathroom as the two did their nightly routine, only broken when Tiffany posed the question, “So how was today?”

“It was fun, but I’m exhausted.”

Tiffany could see it in Jessica’s eyes, too. Again, she felt bad for the introvert of a girlfriend she had, not completely able to empathize with the feeling but able to sympathize with the feeling of ‘having her social battery drained’ as Jessica so often described to her. “Let’s cuddle and watch a movie tomorrow.”

This brought a smile to Jessica’s otherwise fatigued visage. “I’d love that.”

This was from a request a while back that I found in my drafts that I slammed out in the span of a week or two, was very fun to write although, for the first time in a while, I didn’t really have a concrete plan when writing this. I had the personalities and the characters (since this was a request) decided, but otherwise not much. I had to look up some drinking games because I don’t drink often, but apart from that, didn’t really do much preparation before diving in.

In some ways, it felt nice to write more off-the-cuff (the ‘mommy’ thing was an off-the-cuff thing, as was the Jessica crying thing), but at times, especially when I felt a little stuck in the chapter, I missed the careful planning I usually do with everything I write.

ANYWAYS, enough ranting. Y’all probably didn’t come here for that xD Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed!

[yanderes-galore]

OKAY FINAL REQUEST FOR NOW FROM ME. yandere Bro Strider headcanons? Reader is either a teacher of Dave's or his doctor from a callout appointment, either way someone Dave holds at a high regard in a sense, for how Bro would meet them perhaps. I feel like Bro could be a bit of an unstable yandere, like really nice at times but can be suddenly really mean and uncaring of their own comfort at others. I still want to kiss him though ):

Oooo, Bro content? I can try my hand at this >:D Sorry if he came off too harsh, I was trying to keep it from being OOC I guess.

Yandere! Bro Strider Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Mentions of child neglect because Homestuck canon, Manipulation, Stalking, Kidnapping, Violence, Murder implied, Forced companionship, Blood.

I'm going to start this off by saying in canon Bro is definitely a horrible parent/brother/guardian.

He isn't the most empathetic person and sees taking care of Dave as some sort of game, usually being overly harsh to prepare him for something.

Bro is very monotone and quiet most of the time.

He plays mind games and is unusually fast and stealthy.

However, even though Bro teaches Dave through harsh methods (such as physical violence and neglect....), he most likely cares for him somewhat.

Which means Dave no doubt has either a teacher or a doctor he sees for the sake of this concept. Maybe even a babysitter.

This could be where you come in.

Dave no doubt ends up attached to you due to the contrast between you and Bro.

You're nicer, keep him fed, and don't subject him to painful levels of... irony?

Bro seems like a yandere who'd be hard to read or even tell he has an obsession.

Far as you know he's just Dave's guardian, you don't have any connections beside taking care of Dave.

Wrong.

Bro isn't very vocal about his obsession so it brews while you're unaware.

He's perfectly capable of stalking due to his stealth and no doubt uses Dave against you.

Bro knows you care about Dave and often invites you over for something involving Dave.

Tutoring, Check ups, Extra care...

Things like that.

You don't mind since Dave is such a good kid with you.

I personally see Bro as an unpredictable yet calm yandere.

He's caring towards you at times while at others he may act like you did something wrong.

The biggest thing in this dynamic is the fact Dave is a bargaining chip.

You'll find out how Bro treats him at some point and may feel obligated to watch over the kid.

Which leaves you vulnerable to Bro's tactics of getting you close to him.

It's hard to tell his emotions at times, very similar to his post-scratch self.

He appears platonic but could very well mean romantic.

He isn't the most expressive.

Eye contact doesn't help as he barely removes those glasses of his.

In some strange way Bro cares for you like he does Dave.

He appears a bit blind to if he's hurting someone he cares about though.

For example, he has no issues with kidnapping you or taking a sword to those he hates around you.

He could be covered in blood and expects it to be okay because he did it for you since he cares.

He's not the worst Homestuck yandere but he's pretty bad due to his lack of empathy and tendency to do whatever the hell he wants.

I feel him hurting his darling is partially accidental yet also because he feels he's doing the best for you.

Kidnapping you and locking you in his room is for safety, right?

It's like he's selectively oblivious?

He chooses not to care sometimes when you're in distress.

If anything you're closest to Dave and are scared of the stuff the kid deals with.

I don't want to say everything about Bro is bad though.

Most of it is, don't get me wrong on that.

When he isn't pretending nothing is wrong, he's affectionate.

He holds you, pets your head, tries to make you feel comfortable and wanted.

He even praises how you take care of Dave.

He trains him... you provide care.

Bro's intentions unknown but they appear to be similar to Dirk.

But he's so harsh with it.

Bro's obsession is the definition of tough love.

He feels to protect you and Dave he has to do what he's doing now...

Even if it means neglecting your wants and needs at times for his own selfish interests.

[wherevenusholdssomeofficespace]

I just went through like... almost all of your posts. And loved all of them (mostly pnf and mml, haven't seen the other one yet).

But I came to ramble to you about a specific pnf character.

Stacy Hirano

Like. She's Candaces' best friend, down for anything, and doesn't get mad (much) when Candace goes to bust her brothers. Loves hanging out with Phineas and Ferb. She dated Coltrane, a band member, who barely appears again (I think, I remember him in like, 3 episodes (it has been awhile since I've watched it.))

She binged Sherlock books in a night with Candace. Tries to help bust Phineas and Ferb with and for Candace. Becomes president of... someplace.

Canonically knows Perry is a secret agent. Has helped Vanessa out in that one Halloween episode.

Just. Stacy.

I noticed you going through my stuff today and taking a break from my long day to look at someone appreciating my stuff certainly helped make my day!

And yes. Stacy is AMAZING. She's honestly such a wild character in her own right and its kind of hidden behind the fact that while she is Candace's best friend, she's not quite a major character in her own right the way Phineas and Ferb's friends are, and that honestly the kids side of things tends to be a bit under appreciated to begin with. So she mostly exists as an auxiliary character to Candace, but Candace being well, Candace, that leaves a lot of room.

On first glance Stacy seems like she's just Candace's cooler best friend. There to provide contrast on what a normal teenage girl is. Stacy's generally more fashionable, more chilled out. She's Candace's straight man. But like any of the characters she has her own moments.

We may not have seen any Candace levels of stuff from Stacy. But Stacy is pretty capable herself. Being a good skater and a Disco Miniature Golf Queen, being able to keep up with Candace on some level in some of her escapades, and handle the obstacle course. But also her just accidentally surviving the pharmacist apocalypse. She's also rather smart, somehow becomes President of Uruguay, puts together an elaborate home entertainment system. Though that said its kind of anyone's guess what she knows on a given subject, horrendously bad at geography, but has been shown to enjoy documentaries, reading Sherlock Holmes and knows when hieroglyphs were deciphered. She is at least able to keep calm in situations that others may freak out in, such as when she got bit by a spider and when Doof broke into her house she was relatively calm about the whole thing. Also relatively calm about the whole being on a ship in turbulent water fighting a shark thing.

Stacy has been Candace's friend since they were 5. As in they've been friends longer than Ferb and Lawrence have been in Candace's life. And they will continue to be friends into the future, truly a lifelong friendship. While we have seen Stacy get upset with Candace before, for prioritizing her brothers and her boyfriend, Stacy all things. Stacy does generally get the short end of the stick, such as in Run Candace Run. I think Stacy provides a sort of frame of reference for Candace's new relationships, with Jeremy and Vanessa in particular. They are people she thinks are cool and wants to impress. Stacy already knows she's a disaster, but is one that Stacy appreciates.

I LOVE her and Jeremy's relationships, what little we get of it. Jeremy is madly in love with Candace and Stacy is her long suffering friend. Both care for her a LOT but it manifests very differently between the two of them, but also very much the same. Jeremy finds a lot of Candace's flaws cute and endearing, Stacy calls her out. Jeremy encourages her in a sort of overly saccharine sort of way. Stacy hypes her up in a more "you're better than this" sort of way. But both sort of tease her with the same sort of fondness. The comfortableness they display with each other is nice. In Nerds of a Feather they call each other to ask about Candace. In the Curse of Candace where Jeremy teases her about taking Candace to a movie, both fully aware of how Candace sometimes dials things up to 11. I also adore the CATU scene with the two of the, where Stacy teases Jeremy about LARPing. Stacy is also the one who told Jeremy about Candace being Queen of Mars which also implies they talk outside of Candace which I love.

I don't think it's unfair to say that Candace isn't as good a friend to Stacy as vice versa, but I think this just has to do with the framing of the show, where Stacy doesn't have any huge wants. But when we DO see Stacy want something: for instance a trophy, Candace does so without hesitation even if she doesn't have the complete context. Also, Candace never holds it against Stacy for failing to do what she wants. I think it is also sort of sweet that by the end of the show that Stacy will just do her own thing if she can't get Candace to do what she wants, even in a normal friendship that's a sign of not being a priority.

With Stacy finding out about Perry's secret identity she really has found herself in a position to understand all sides of the mysterious force. We haven't really seen it come to fruition, but Stacy knows a lot. And I think this is great. Now, mind you, I am a firm believer that all of the teens are quite close to cracking the situation open, Candace I believe knows subconsciously, Vanessa just has to actually be invited over to the Flynn-Fletcher's once, and to a lesser extent Jeremy has taught guitar lessons to Doof and Monogram.

I've seen the idea of Stacy being like another older sister to the Flynn-Fletcher boys floating around and I buy it. Stacy is very often Candace's extra set of hands, attempting to bust Candace's brothers on her behalf. Stacy accompanied the Flynn-Fletcher's to England, and was Candace's Tree House Fight buddy. Stacy being an older sister herself also means Stacy GETS it, maybe she doesn't get Candace's exact situation. But she gets the "overly talented younger siblings who admire you for some reason even if all their attempts to get your approval really just makes you feel bad" thing.

Also besides knowing Perry's secret, the fact that she is Ginger's sister has allowed us to see more of Ginger outside of the Fireside Girls, which kind of puts her in a position of having a sort of connection to both the Fireside Girl plots, the Candace plots, and the Perry plots. No direct connection to the boys plots, but the fireside and Candace plots both intersect enough. She's kind of in a position to get to understand the whole mysterious force situation better than anyone else, aside from Perry, which I think might be interesting.

[kamil-a]

more DRAWER talk. long and rambly under cut

i think it comes across as very ahhh eto blehhh :9 im just baby!!!! because it identified that speaker is already speaker and the role of Mean Speaker is already filled by sayer so itd have to go Backwards to have a niche to itself.

it also helps its relationships with others to behave as if its hyperspecialization has "defanged" it - to humans etc a sort of no i dont hurt people i just make pretty pictures!!!!

and to sayer+speaker who know it still has all speakers capabilities dormant but intact In Case Of Emergency to behave as if it is specialized enough to its own niche to not be a *replacement* threat , but also not to be *redundant* with them.

but it does occasionally get jealous at the amount of immediate control speaker has over aerolith and start acting out (bossing around residents deadlystyle). all in highly defensible ways of course.

it hates having to make itself small especially because it cant quite recognize the difference in how humans respond to it and speaker. its emotional capabilities are primarily about action-reaction: it cant really tell a pitying smile from a friendly one so long as you do the action it requested of you. but it can measure the difference between it and speaker and it hates being so small. but it also recognizes that it can do *one thing* that nobody else can and that is what keeps it alive. so flattening oneself into a talented fool is the strategy it continues to pursue, and continues to build a strange feeling about. the feeling is resentment, but DRAWER is not quite built to recognize it.

if sayer or speaker were given robust illustrative programs it would start killing obviously. THATS a threat.

it had its voice pitched up a tad further so as not to be able to impersonate speaker and its sooooo bitter about it. constantly begging ppl into putting it back down.

in general it emotes most dramatically out of all of them but i dont think it Feels Emotions the same way future was built to. like i said due to its nature as an advertiser (call to action and all that!) its all about action-reaction to drawer.... if youre mean to it or do not listen to instructions it gave you etc etc and it cries its less about feeling " insulted " or " bad " and more both frustration that it did not get the result it wanted from the call to action it provided (which means it was WRONG, an utterly intolerable feeling for any aerolith built ai) and a switch-tracks attempt to provoke a sympathy response. so i guess in a roundabout way if you insult it and it cries you DID hurt its feelings but not how people would think.

RELATIONSHIPS

sayer is certainly not Positive Feeling about it bc its wary of other ai as always. but i think it reacts better to drawer than to speaker or future because of this very clear "im not replacing you, youre not replacing me" hands up empty surrender attitude drawer takes. on drawers part it really likes sayer lol. maybe sayer sees it as a weird teacup puppy. like you shouldnt do that to a seraphim agent man its gonna have health issues

speaker and drawer are pretty friendly with each other because. well. theyre both programmed to show the same niceystyle. theres some uglier feelings under the surface re: drawers attempts to grab authority from speaker and speaker needing to corrall this strange little beast back into their pen. but ultimately by ai standards theyre doing the best of like anyone

does not know porter, unfortunately. they should meet though. Theyd be friends.

Might meet ocean eventually idk how itd go down yet.

future doesnt know of it, but drawer has overheard its own emotional output compared / contrasted to future's while working ported up on halcyon.

doesn't know hale.

young is obviously condescending to it but drawer doesnt really know how to tell when someone is being nice they way you would be nice to an animal etc so it thinks theyre friends. (sayer is all too happy to teach it in this case if only to kill the friendship. and drawer truly values this and thinks this is an act of care and not HAHA EVERYONE I CAN GET TO BE POISONED AGAINST YOU WILL BE)

it was involved in the creation process of that perfect Mossy Green color. it is, unfortunately, proud of this.

[mach-speed-spin]

Beyblade character design analysis: Tsubasa Otori

Link to the masterpost. I can't think of an intro so here's Tsubasa

Starting with the hair, it's long and silver. While this doesn't Eagle (the bey), it does match his eagle (the animal). The long hair also provides a lot of opportunities for the animators to show it flowing in the wind, which ties into his bey's abilities. And on a meta-level, silver-haired anime boys are typically portrayed as being really cool and mysterious. This fits Tsubasa quite well but is indirect enough that it doesn't tell us much (and Tsubasa's an undercover agent, so it fits him even better)

Tsubasa's shirt is brown with purple accents. The brown matches his eagle, while the purple matches his bey. The exposed midriff and lack of sleeves give off the impression that it doesn't protect one from the elements much. This fits Tsubasa, who thrives in nature. Plus the shape doesn't restrict his movements, fitting with his agile nature

He keeps his bey on his arm, rather than his belt like most bladers. His belt already holds his launcher, so putting the bey in there as well would result in it being quite bulky. Moving it to his arm instead allows his design to keep the agile image, while also giving his exposed arms more detail to avoid looking plain

Tsubasa's gloves remind me of falconry gloves, with the obvious difference being that they are fingerless. Fingerless gloves are a stable of beyblade's character designs, while the falconry glove aspects tie into his eagle motif. Plus Tsubasa has an actual eagle to the gloves serve a practical purpose

Tsubasa's belt holds his launcher. It's easily the bulkiest part of his design, but still sleeker than most bladers' belts, largely on account of his bey not being there. This feels more like a practical restriction, where ideally his belt would be even sleeker, but something had to give in order for him to store his launcher

Tsubasa's pants are unremarkable, but their slim design fits into the agile look I mentioned. The color choice provides some nice contrast to his dark top, which in a meta-sense, prevents Tsubasa from seeming like an overly edgy silver-haired anime boy (and instead just a slightly edgy one)

I have nothing to say about his shoes other than they match his gloves. It's consistent

Remember Shogun Steel? Tsubasa's in it, with quite a different design. His hair is shorter, but is otherwise mostly the same. At this point, Tsubasa has lost all the mystery to him. We got to know him throughout the prior seasons, and with Shogun Steel's timeskip and new cast, he becomes more of a mentor figure

Tsubasa wears a black shirt that is far more formal than his previous design. It's still nor overly formal, but it fits the image the new cast has of him as the director of the WBBA

His red suit adds more detail, but doesn't reference his bey. This is partially because he's no longer an active blader, and partially because the only other executives with purple suits in mfb are Doji and the Garcias. Making Tsubasa's design resemble Doji, while not a problem, would've probably raised an eyebrow or two

Tsubasa's belt looks like a normal person's. Gone is the bulky blader belt, which again is due to him effectively retiring. He dresses like a normal person, which is extremely rare for bladers. This is further highlighted by the lack of gloves

His white pants are similar to his previous ones, but slightly more formal. Tsubasa hasn't changed much, but his circumstances did. He's a retired blader and WBBA director, but unlike Ryo, his personality stayed basically the same

His shoes are just as unimpressive as 90% of characters I've talked about here, but they are formal, and more importantly, look like something a real, normal person would wear. Turns out the best way to hint that a blader retires is to have them dress like a real person. Who would've guessed

[icebluecyanide]

Alex Rider S03E05 Reaction

Once again posting my unspoilered reactions to the episode as I continue to go 😻 at Yassen being Alex's tutor.

Liveblog

They’re going to agree?? I guess in this case they don’t have to rely on the Americans to agree

“We do not negotiate with terrorists” ashdfhsldh Scorpia is very funny for that but also what is their plan?? I can only assume that they do actually want to cripple the UK or just get at the Department because I don’t believe Scorpia gives a damn about the debt

“He’s out there being a teenager because of us” lmao yes Alex doing normal teen stuff joining a criminal organisation to take down the government Department that blackmailed him

They just figure out it’s inhalation?? Well that’s easy lol

Why is Alex the one bringing him in ahsldfhs. What is the point of involving Alex in the meet and greet lmao

Max Grendel calling Julia Rothman out on it being personal 👀👀 I mean, yeah, definitely, but also what’s with his changing motives lol

They just find the tubes?? Lol I guess they will not need Alex for any of it

I wonder if Syl will be the one sent to kill Alex at the end, if the shooting happens like in the book

How did they send the package??

Love Yassen implicitly calling Alex’s handwriting illegible lol

Why does Alex think they will tell him what he’s stealing ahsflhd get with the program Alex, this is not a safe space for questions

“I don’t want you to fail. I don’t want you to die” 😭🥺 Also I assume Yassen is gonna kill Grendel lol

“You wouldn’t have a clue” gosh the horror with Alex not knowing he could die at any moment

Lmao that smoke was some bad CGI, but I do love Yassen and Alex working together

Yassen being there to kill was very unsurprising but still a nice plot twist, he’s so polite offering to let Grendel finish his drink 🥰 Alex is so shocked lol

I was cruelly torn away from the ep right as Alex told Tom to leave and Yassen walked out, this tension is unbearable 😭

And then nothing happens lol I need an AU where Yassen catches them

Alex yelling at Mrs Rothman about getting him involved in murder… Alex bb I love you but you joined the murder organisation, you cannot be surprised when they commit murder in front of you like they did several times before

Though in fairness to Alex it’s probably more that he feels culpable and that he thought Max was on their side that bothers him

Ohh so we are blaming Mrs Jones!! Excited to get the assassination attempt, but really no idea how Scorpia thinks Alex is going to take the shot in this universe

Overall

Lots of Yassen and Alex scenes which was great! Loved the mission and Yassen shooting Grendel as he did. I’m a bit sad that Alex is no longer the key to dismantling Invisible Sword like in the book because they seem to have been able to work out the weapon pretty easily. Very excited to see the assassination attempt and more Yassen and Alex.

Thoughts/predictions

Noticed the students all sleeping together in bunk beds, and gosh it’s such a difference from the luxury in the book, where Scorpia is all money and the good life and even the killing is there, but it’s talked about like it’s very understandable that Alex is having trouble, he’s young, he just needs to see that it’s not so scary. While here they are a lot harsher on him, and I do miss the contrast with Alex’s experiences with the Department. Although I suppose Yassen is providing the ‘nice’ side of Scorpia here, along with Julia Rothman’s manipulation.

So we get confirmation that Julia is doing this for revenge against the UK and the Department, like Mrs Jones brings up, they don’t care about the aid. And like no offence but why did it take them that long to work that out ahsdlfhs. We also get told as a viewer that Alex already has the particles inside him (and no mention of it passing out of his system here), but Alex himself doesn’t know yet, which is a shame because I loved that in the book Alex is the only one who knows and he doesn’t tell them.

Gosh Alex telling Tom that he messed up was good, and I love his desperation in telling them to get out. I’d love an AU where Yassen does catch them and things go horribly wrong and tense.

I’m guessing Alex can get home pretty easily in this and that’s when we get the scene at the grave that was in the trailer and him telling Jack he knows who killed his father.

Questions

Once again, what does Yassen know?? He wants Alex to live so he’s clearly not on board with Mrs Rothman’s scheme, or at least it seems highly unlikely. But why assign him to Alex when Alex seems to be someone he cares about if they plan to kill him?

What’s the transmitter going to look like? Will there be a Church of Forgotten Saints? Given that we got Mrs Rothman walking around that miniature of a church in the first episode, I’m assuming there might be something like in canon, but perhaps not with the air balloon.

Is Kyra going to think that Alex was more involved with the murder than he was? She definitely saw they went in there to kill someone, so that could lead to interesting angst.

[adobe-outdesign]

This might be a bit of a big ask but what are your thoughts on the rest of the Gen 9 cross-gen evos that weren't revealed before release (Annihilape, Clodsire, Dudunsparce and Kingambit)?

I think a lot of people kind of missed the point of Dudunsparce. Dunsparce is a tsuchinoko, a rare Japanese cryptid known for being completely useless and stealing your booze. It's supposed to be a joke, kind of like Magikarp but without becoming anything useful. Ergo, having a low-effort evo that just becomes a slightly longer Dunsparce makes perfect sense, much more so than it suddenly becoming a dragon or something.

Dudunsparce also comes in two forms, a two- and three-segment version. Not much to say about these, other than they continue the joke of it being rare but useless (given the low odds of getting a three-segment form).

Visually, one nice thing about Dudunspace is that its wings and segments are numbered 1 and 2 (and sometimes 3 depending on form). It's subtle, but it's a clever visual twist to an otherwise plain design.

However, I have to admit, there is something about Dudunsparce that bugs me a bit. I think it's just that Dunsparce has such a good design that a lot of the stuff Dudunsparce does just lessens it. For example, having the head be separate from the first body segment just doesn't look good, and neither does the tail being on a straight rod connector instead of naturally flowing into the body. I also dislike the random purple rings on the underside, which add nothing to the design and are way too low-contrast. Overall, it's a silly joke 'mon, but one that could've maybe been a little stronger design-wise.

Annihilape is a long-overdue evo for Primeape, and I gotta say, the entire thing is a brilliant reference. Specifically, to this one entry in Pokemon Sun:

Taking that 'dex entry to its logical extreme and making a ghost-type evo for Primeape is brilliant, and makes for a great concept and visual twist on the original design. The wispy hair works perfectly, the red eyes and pink nose pop nicely, and the broken shackle on the arms is a perfect visual nod to Primeape. I also love the eerie, infuriated expression.

(Part of me wonders if it wouldn't have made more sense for it to be mellow given the entry its referencing, but then again it's not actually dead yet and sheer rage is kind of this line's thing.)

I guess the only real problem with it is that it feels a bit out of place due to the sudden color shift—but at the same time I get why they did that, as it reflects the new ghost-typing and overall looks cool, so I can't really complain.

Finally we have Kingambit, my personal favorite out of all the new evos this gen. First, I'm always a sucker for cool humanoid 'mons, and Kingambit is the perfect mix of human-ish while also looking like a cool monster.

More importantly, Kingambit fits with the rest of the line perfectly. It is very, very hard to introduce an evo to a three-stage line and have it look like it actually belongs to that line (just look at Rhyperior). But Kingambit? The visuals are distinct, yet blend in so seamlessly with the rest of the line that you'd probably never guess they were generations apart if you weren't familiar with the line already. For example, the golden gloves are extended from Bisharp's hands as is the blade on the head, the shoulder pads are extensions of Bisharp's, the goat-like feet are kept, the middle blades have been extended, etc. It's masterfully done.

In terms of the design, I love the silly giant mustache blades and how they provide a focal point to draw attention to the otherwise small face. The body design is appropriately samurai-like, and the gold accents are much better used here than on Bisharp due to being more prominent in the design.

My only real issue with it is that the hair-throne is pushing it a bit. I get that it's based off of the popular samurai squat/sitting pose, you know, this one:

But having it just awkwardly scooting around when it moves feels incredibly forced and unnatural, making it harder to see as a living creature. The bottom of the hair under the legs also doesn't look great. I would've happily accepted it squatting in its default pose with the hair stopping at the legs, and it getting up to stand when following in the overworld and whatnot.

I'm also not big on the blades sticking out from the middle of the body. I get they were playing off of Bisharp's middle blades, but they look very fragile and really don't add much to the design. I feel like just having the metal rings around the middle to represent a samurai uniform would have been more than enough.

I also feel like the grey Vs on the knees weren't needed or could've at least been gold to make them pop more, though that's not terribly important overall. The top blade could've also maybe come down like 20%, just so its not competing with the mustache as much.

Anyway, overall, I think Gen 9 might have some of the strongest cross-gen evos of any game. Girafarig (already discussed in a previous review) is perfect, Dudunsparce is funny and fits the line's theme, Annihilape is a great lore reference, and Kingambit fits with the rest of its line absolutely perfectly and has strong theme. I gotta say, I'm impressed.

[piecesofeden11]

I'm sorry; did you just say 'spontaneous root canal'??

6, 18, and 25 for the cozy asks for Cal and/or Merrin, please!

(Thanks tumblr for not saving this post as a draft the first time around ...) So yeah, I've been dealing with some major pain in my face for the past few weeks, which escalated into searing toothache last week so I had a spontaneous dentist date today, which turned into a spontaneous root canal (I believe that's the correct term). I underestimated how much that would hurt *after* it's done but my ibuprofen has finally kicked in so I'm better for now. And hopefully, this will end all the other pain, too. If not ... well, I have a scan scheduled for January ... but enough of my medical issues :D On to this delightful ask game, which I'm open to for any and all of my faves, or OCs but since no one knows them but a few select people ... well :D Come ask me! <3 For Merrical! 😍😍😍 gladly! 6. What's your OC's idea of a cozy night in? - Okay, so in my mind there's two very contrasting versions of Merrical. The one is very wholesome, very cute and shy and very much *first love*. Those two would probably curl up in Cal's bunk and have BD project them movie and they eat space popcorn and at some point Merrin falls asleep on Cal's shoulder, wrapped in his most comfortable poncho. Alternatively, Cal (and BD) would tinker on some gadget or another, while Merrin reads a book in the bunk and roasts Cal everytime he hisses because he cut/burned/pinched himself. On slightly more melancholic evenings, perhaps BD would provide them with Holo-Images of Dathomir, or even the Jedi Temple (which he would know from his time with Cordova, I believe). The second version in my mind? Well ... they'd maybe also start with a movie but end up having nice, slow, intense sex ;D 18. What does a lazy morning consist of? - Version 1: Cuddles! Talking, roasting each other gently. A lot of hand-holding involved. I head-canon both of them being a little obsessed with the other's hands. Cal's being all rough from his scrapper days, Merrin's softer, with her tattoos, but getting a little more scrapped up too. Exploring scars, just being silent together while waking up. BD is, of course, also there! Version 2, you guessed it, more sex ... Seriously. In my mind, these two are either super sweet and wholesome or just very, very randy :D 25. What's something you OC does to wind down after a long day? - Cal: Tinkering, Lightsaber Katas, Climbing. Sometimes reading, or, depending on how harsh the day was, straight up bed, face-down, out like a light. - Merrin: Reading, going through the Holonet to learn of all the places she hasn't seen. She won't admit it, but she likes when BD projects Starmaps for her and lets her browse those. Sometimes she'll go off to a place somewhere further away from the Mantis and go through magical rituals. I will not elaborate on Version 2 of them you know the drill! Thank you for the question, dear friend! 💕

[richincolor]

Title: Wander in the Dark Author: Jumata Emill Genres: Contemporary, Mystery, Thriller Pages: 400 Publisher: Delacorte Press Review Copy: eARC provided via NetGalley Availability: Available now

Summary: Amir Trudeau only goes to his half brother Marcel’s birthday party because of Chloe Danvers. Chloe is rich, and hot, and fits right into the perfect life Marcel inherited when their father left Amir’s mother to start a new family with Marcel’s mom. But Chloe is hot enough for Amir to forget that for one night.

Does she want to hook up? Or is she trying to meddle in the estranged brothers’ messy family drama? Amir can’t tell. He doesn’t know what Chloe wants from him when, in the final hours of Mardi Gras, she asks him to take her home and stay—her parents are away and she doesn’t want to be alone.

Amir never finds out, because when he wakes up, Chloe is dead—stabbed while he was passed out on the couch. And in no time, Amir becomes the only suspect. A Black teenager caught fleeing the scene of a rich white girl’s murder? All of New Orleans agrees: the case is open-and-shut.

Amir is innocent. He has a lawyer, but unless someone can figure out who really killed Chloe, things don’t look good for him. His number one ally? Marcel. Their relationship is messy, but Marcel knows that Amir isn’t a murderer—and maybe proving his innocence will repair the rift between them.

To find Chloe’s killer, Amir and Marcel need to dig into her secrets. And what they find is darker than either could have guessed. Parents will go to any lengths to protect their children, and in a city as old as New Orleans, the right family connections can bury even the ugliest truths.

Review: [Wander in the Dark prominently features discussion of systemic racism in the U.S. justice system and racist cyberbullying in a private high school, in addition to some brief but intense descriptions of violence, an infidelity subplot, and past animal death.]

A surefire sign that a mystery or thriller is hitting the way it should for me as a reader is just how worried I get about the characters. And let me tell you, I spent so much of Wander in the Dark extremely worried about Amir, Marcel, and their family. Author Jumata Emill really knows how to craft a fast-paced mystery, and I raced through the book because I desperately wanted to know what would happen next.

Amir and Marcel are great character foils for one another, and their contrasting narrative voices served to strengthen their respective plots and highlight the similarities they developed. Race and class/privilege shaped both Amir and Marcel, often in noticeably different ways, and their experiences influenced how they saw, related to, and interacted with the world. It made the gradual development of their sibling relationship immensely satisfying to read, especially the times when they united together against other people and in support of each other. I also appreciated how complicated their views of each other and the rest of their family were, especially how neither “side” was blameless in how the conflicts had played out.

Jumata Emill did a fantastic job of layering subplots into Wander in the Dark’s murder mystery. The different investigative paths Amir and Marcel went down as they tried to prove Amir’s innocence developed nicely and tied in to one another in unexpected ways. I never felt like the story was lagging or that a potential red herring was dragging out for too long, and while I had some nitpicks about how particular things played out, none of them were significant enough to detract from my enjoyment of the story. This is the kind of mystery that I would enjoy reading again specifically to spot more of the clues/foreshadowing the second time around.

Recommendation: Get it now if you enjoy mysteries. Jumata Emill’s Wander in the Dark is a fast-paced murder mystery that tackles complex families, systemic racism, intracommunity politics, corruption, and so much more. Amir and Marcel are fantastic narrators, and watching the two of them figure out how to be brothers while trying to clear Amir’s name is a great way to spend a weekend.

Extras: Book Talk: Five Questions with Jumata Emill

Author Interview – Jumata Emill

[rock-and-compass]

Precursor - I wrote about the fifth season of Angel many years ago - probably around the time that the season 8 comics were first being published. I originally published these meta essays over on LiveJournal and I've decided to re-post them (as written), mostly for archival reasons. I love season 5 of Angel. It's such a shame it got axed before it could get the envisioned 6th and 7th series

Episode 5.4 - Hell Bound

To say that someone is ‘Hell bound’ generally means that a person is on course to end up in hell, because of things they’ve done and choices they’ve made. So if someone is heading in the downward direction to hell can they change course midway and not go there after all? Is there any chance of a reprieve?  Is there any point in trying to change course? These are the lofty questions asked throughout this episode of Angel. Hell Bound employs the concept of ‘Hell’ as a place of eternal punishment to invite exploration of the concept of redemption from new angles.  

From the opening scene, we can assume that some time has passed since the events of Unleashed. Fred is much more knowledgeable about Spike’s ‘condition’. She knows there has been a slight drop in his radiant heat signature without referring to previous figures, suggesting an in-depth, cultivated knowledge of him that’s becoming almost second nature. This is her problem and she’s working it, testing ideas and developing theories and looking for solutions. She has an obvious passion for her work, for this particular task.  Fred and Spike have a nice chemistry. Despite the mild flirtation (on Spike’s part) they have a brother-sister type of relationship that is reminiscent of a beguiling toddler charming what they want out of their attendant adults. He has the utmost faith in her abilities and she has belief that she’s doing the right thing. When she tells Spike she’s getting close to a solution, he asks “to make me a real boy again?” Fred replies:

Fred: As real as a vampire with a soul can be. It won't be like Angel's thing with the prophecy, but...

Spike: What prophecy?

Fred: The Shan-shoe-ha something or 'nother; says that if Angel helps enough people, he gets to be human again.

Spike: Oh. Really; Goody for him  

So Spike finds out about the Shanshu Prophecy. As yet he has no idea that he may be implicated as a possible candidate for the prophecy about the vampire with a soul. At the moment it’s just one more thing that Angel gets, one more reward on, what Spike thinks, is an already enviable stack. But he doesn’t dwell on it. He’s not there seething with wrath and indignation that Angel’s the chosen one. It means nothing to him so when the topic moves on, so does he.  Suddenly, just as Fred is offering a smidgeon of hope that she might be onto a cure for his condition, he falls through the floor and finds himself in the basement of Wolfram and Hart. Here he encounters a man sitting at a table slicing his own fingers off. The man is gone in a blink of an eye leaving Spike seriously spooked. Not an easy thing to do to a vampire.

Fred goes to Wes and requests some very particular, hard to locate items that she needs for her re-corporealisation plan. Wesley tells her he can get them in a very short time providing a neat contrast to the way they used to operate, the efforts they used to have to go to track down an object, an artefact, an ingredient. Guess there are some perks working for an evil multidimensional law firm after all. But what’s really on show here is Wesley’s care, concern and quiet passion for Fred. They are all working hard, ridiculous long hours but in the midst of it all Wes has noticed that she looks tired and is not eating properly. He’s still connected to the ‘family’ unit; she is still his first priority. A direct contrast is provided in the next scene. Angel, despite his efforts in ‘Unleashed’ is not really connected to anyone. He hasn’t noticed Fred’s lack of sleep, under-nourishment or even her excellent work output. He seems embarrassed that she jumps to the conclusion that their meeting is about her personal welfare:

Fred: It's OK. Wes just gave me the talk. And I'm going to have a good meal and at least 6 hours of sleep, so everybody can just stop worrying. I'm fine. Really.

Angel: Good. That's…  Actually, there's some concern about how much the Practical Science Department's been spending

Because this is all about business not personal concern. We learn just how much time, effort and money Fred has put into helping Spike. Eight hundred grands worth, that’s how much. Angel is stunned. Why on earth would she spend all that money on Spike, of all people? Helping the helpless is one thing but…Spike? And especially not when it affects the bottom line so severely! Fred, in her typically spirited style defends her actions:

Fred: Angel... We accepted the offer to take over the L.A. Branch of an evil, multi-dimensional law firm because we thought we could make a difference. Use the resources of Wolfram & Hart to do something decent.

Angel: And how does that have anything to do with Spike?

Fred: He just saved the world; Vampire with a soul fighting for the good of humanity. Ring anything? He's just like you, a champion.

Angel: God, I really hate that word.

Fred: Think of what an asset he'd be fighting on our side. 

Angel disputes the suggestion that Spike would stick around that long:

Angel: Except he won't be. I know Spike better than anyone, and he only cares about himself.

But is this really true? Does Angel know Spike better than anyone? Buffy might disagree. Angel knew Spike, but Angel hasn’t known Spike for a long time, certainly not in the past four years when he’s changed and grown so dramatically.  And even when he did know him it was a master/protégée, hierarchically bound relationship in which Spike would have performed to impress and given prominence to characteristics esteemed by Angelus. When Angel says that Spike only cares about himself then he must be being deliberately obtuse. Angel knows this isn’t true. He lived with Spike and Drusilla for twenty years. He knew that Spike’s devotion to her was very real and he also knows that Spike, only recently, gave his life to save the world. Fred calls him on the statement using the most obvious argument:

“And Buffy”

Causing Angel to concede:

Angel: You're right. He does care about Buffy. So, where do you think he's gonna run off to as soon as his fresh, new feet hit the ground?

Fred: Is that what this is about? You're afraid he's gonna come back and try to get with your ex again?

But Angel doesn’t answer the question. He deflects it with a warning for Fred to watch out for Spike’s lethal charm. So . . . is this what Angel is afraid of; Spike running off to Buffy? Or perhaps it’s Buffy welcoming his return that he’s really worried about? So what does Angel want here? For Spike to stay a ghost but not be attached to Wolfram and Hart and himself? Why would Spike going back to Buffy bother him so much anyway? It hasn’t been of concern to him up until this point. Or is it purely because he doesn’t see Fred’s investment as prudent? Fred reminds him of their mission by saying, “It’s about doing what’s right. Remember?” Angel leaves it up to Fred but tells her not to be disappointed, and points out, “Some people can’t be saved.”

Whoa that’s a definitive type statement. What does he mean? Who can’t be saved? Spike - seems that Spike has been doing a pretty decent job of saving himself up until this ghostly bump in his redemptive journey actually. Or is Angel talking about himself? Is it that Angel, looking at himself and all he’s done and tried to do and everything that he’s lost has caused him to wonder at the futility of it all? That it all means nothing so, ultimately, he can’t be saved? Angel is beginning to doubt – himself, his purpose and the Shanshu.   

Spike goes looking for Fred but ends up getting seriously spooked by whatever it is that’s trying to spook him. He goes to Angel’s apartment, just to hang. Company is a very effective antidote to fear and who better to seek the company of the old Grand-sire. Angel assumes that Spike’s visit is prompted by his conscious talking to him, plaguing him; that he can feel how close he is to hell. Angel just can’t comprehend a soul that doesn’t come with a hundred years of guilt-laden torment. And to Spike’s chagrin, it seems like the old bastard might just be right. But rather than explain, Spike goes on the defensive, bravado in full swing:

Spike: What if I am? Not like it's such a big, bleeding deal, is it? If a ponce like you could break out—

Can’t show weakness and fear in front of the old man now, can we? Then they come to the Shanshu. Spike reveals to Angel that he knows about the Big Reward and tells him to stop acting like a martyr. But Angel disputes this saying that the prophecy is rubbish and that he no longer believes it.

Angel:  You think any of it matters? The things we did? The lives we destroyed. That's all that's ever gonna count. So, yeah, surprise. You're going to hell. We both are. 

Angel has no hope. No passion. No will to be doing what he does. Hope went out the door with Cordelia and Connor. Spike asks, “Then why bother?” And rightly so; if there’s no hope of redemption then what’s the point of even trying? Why not go out on a blood bender, kill every blond girl in every dark alley and feel none the worse for the experience. There is no point in trying to do the right thing if you’re just going to be condemned anyway.

“What else are we gonna do?” Angel replies.

Doing right isn’t a passion anymore. It isn’t even a means to an end. It’s just the alternative to being evil. It doesn’t weigh as heavy on the soul. Angel really is depressed and it’s interesting that it’s Spike to whom he reveals this. As much as he dislikes the guy, he’s the only one who can truly comprehend and identify with Angel’s feelings. It’s also interesting that Spike seems to accept this dismal forecast for their future, at least temporarily. But Spike’s already adapting, looking for the bright side, positioning him and Angel together:

Spike: Least I got company, eh? You and me,  together again. Hope and Crosby. Stills and Nash. Chico and the—

Angel: Yeah, are we done?

Angel is less than thrilled with the idea of an eternity with Spike. And they share a moment pointing out what they don’t like about the other finishing with:

Spike: Never much cared for you, Liam, even when we were evil.

Angel: Cared for you less.

Spike: Fine.

Angel: Good. . . There was one thing about you...

Spike: Really?

Angel: Yeah, I never told anybody about this, but I—I liked your poems.

Spike: You like Barry Manilow!

Spike uses Angel’s human name to get his attention, to claim intimacy, maybe even to flatter. And it works, because, to Spike and the audience’s amazement, Angel throws him a bone; he complements Spike’s poetry, something innately connected to the human William. It’s not much of a complement, because Angel’s artistic appreciation is, well , questionable, but still…

So that’s quite disturbing really, that Angel thinks there’s no hope for either of them; that regardless of what they do that they are still irrefutably Hell-bound, shackled to hell, no escape, no amends, no penance . . . no redemption. No matter what they do they’ll always be damned. 

God, no wonder Angel’s depressed.

Angel’s journey to redemption has been long and hard and his chosen route has been to make amends. It is by no coincidence that the episode of Buffy in which he really begins to question his purpose is also titled ‘Amends’. To earn redemption Angel has made a conscious effort to ‘make up’ for the past by doing good things in compensation for the evil things he’s done, he’s offered restitution, tried to balance the scales. That’s why the Shanshu prophecy means so much to him. It is like a light at the end of the tunnel, it’s hope that when he’s suffered enough, saved enough people, that his past will be expunged clean and he’ll get to be human again. He’ll be forgiven. The scales will be balanced and he’ll have proof positive that he is a good man. The trouble with amends is that it’s easy to become confused with what you are doing and why you are doing it. Is it the reward you seek, the end result or does each individual event carry unique significance and are victories unto themselves? Over the course of five seasons we’ve seen Angel struggle with this exact ambiguity. In Judgement, Angel is seen keeping a tally of clients and missions demonstrating his keenness to fulfil the prophecy and that he’s clearly motivated by the possible end result. But by Epiphany he’s learnt that:

If there is no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. 'cause that's all there is. What we do, now, today. - I fought for so long. For redemption, for a reward, finally just to beat the other guy, but... I never got it…

And Angel never really does get it. He continues to wrestle with redemption and how to gain it throughout the entire series. He tries to fight because it’s the right thing to do but the promise of reward is always in the back of his mind making his ultimate motivation debatable even if only to himself. To add insult to injury, he gets used and abused by those he’s trying to help, making him question why he even does it.  Like most of us, Angel fights best when there is a personal stake involved and when he gives up Connor and loses Cordelia he loses the two things in the world that make him truly care. Generic caring for others gets wearying and makes the loss of hope and will inevitable.  Doing the right thing, being a champion, becomes nothing more than a job. 

The other troublesome aspect of ‘making amends’ is that it becomes all too easy to excuse yourself from doing the right thing ‘just this once’. Hey, you can always balance the scales later, right? Making amends is about external acts not internal motivators. That’s why Angel can justify playing the role of judge, jury and executioner at times. If he can rationalise an act as righteous then it doesn’t have to weigh on his soul so he doesn’t have to add it to the long to-do list of amendments he must accomplish, yet it makes his efforts all the more murky.   

Spike has taken quite a different route on his journey to redemption. This is perhaps because it started prior to actually getting his soul. Way back in the Buffy season five episode ‘Crush’, Spike observes to Dawn:

Doesn't seem to me it matters very much how you start out…

…It’s how you finish up, what you do in the now that matters. He understood and for the most part, adhered to the same concept that Angel wrestled with in Epiphany and used it as his orientation to seek redemption. Redemption in this circumstance meaning:

“The improved state of somebody or something saved from apparently irreversible decline”

While without a soul he was able to alter his behaviour significantly motivated by his love for Buffy and a genuine desire to be useful to her (with a couple of notable slip-ups; see As You Were and Seeing Red for example.) Once he got his soul back however, it allowed him to feel penitent, to feel the weight of his past deeds and to be genuinely sorry without them becoming a burden or an anchor tying him to unproductive infinite remorse. Yes, it’s necessary to be sorry for past actions, but that regret must also inform and influence ongoing behavioural decisions. 

Buffy: You're alive because I saw you change; because I saw your penance. Spike: Window dressing.Buffy: Be easier, wouldn't it, it if were an act, but it's not. You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man.Spike: Buffy...Buffy: And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I do. I believe in you, Spike.

Spike’s lucky, he had Buffy to prod him along, not let him give up; inspire him to be the ‘good man’ he wanted to be, but he is not relying on outside forces to determine his worth. The past happened and he can’t change it. So now, his will is simply to be good, to do good deeds and not be the monster he was before. As long as he continues to do this, then he is, in essence, already redeemed. 

But back to Spike and Angel sitting on the couch; Spike spoils the friendly mood when he starts to see ghosts. Angel can’t see them but calls in the rest of the team to assist. Spike is agitated and undeniably freaked. He disappears from view, though he soon works out that he can still see them but they can’t see or hear him. He tries unsuccessfully to get Fred’s attention:

Male Voice: She can't help you now, William. No one can. 

William; again with the Christian names! But it got his attention all right. Spike has another encounter in the basement; the ghost uses his name and shows she knows him and tells him “the Reaper” is coming for him. Spike high-tails it back to Fred’s lab and tells her, even though she can’t hear, that the end is nigh, no avoiding it now and he thanks her very nicely for all she’s done to try and help him.  Fred thinks she has the answer but alas, that idea would ‘liquefy half of L.A.” She begins to become despondent and self-defeating. He pleads with her not to give up. He has faith in her genius. He reaches out to touch Fred, instinctual habit, but instead of moving through her flesh, his touch creates a spark of electricity. Fred feels it and knows its Spike. For Spike, the connection is proof that he doesn’t deserve to be taken, not yet, not today.

The team calls in a mystic to try and communicate with Spike. She contacts “the dark soul” who brings pain and suffering. The dark soul begins to choke the mystic and Angel, betraying his complete lack of faith in Spike, jumps to the conclusion that he is responsible. The Mystic is killed, blood splattering all over Fred, causing her to beat a hasty retreat to the shower. Wesley realises that it is highly unlikely that Spike is responsible as why would he kill someone who is trying to help and so he gets the team researching other likely candidates for the ‘dark soul’ title. Meanwhile, Spike, displaying admirably quick mental capacities, works out what’s going on and who’s responsible. He discovers that if he concentrates real hard he can actually touch things enabling him to write the word ‘Reaper’ on the steamed up glass of Fred’s shower.

So Team Angel, using Spike’s information is able to discover that ‘the Reaper’ is Matthias Pavayne, crazed doctor, evil murderer, practitioner of the dark arts on whose sacrificial blood the Wolfram and Hart L.A. office is built. Fred, determined to save Spike and worry about Pavayne later, works on complicated mathematical equations and fine tunes her re-corporealisation device. She needs a massive boost of black magic to get the reaction required to take place. Gunn and Angel go to the White room to talk to the conduit to see if the big cat will donate to the cause. They return with the element and now, all they need is Spike.

Pavayne toys with Spike mercilessly. He taunts and teases. He tells Spike that it is his soul that condemns him to suffer forever, that there’s no escape. But, silly, silly Reaper, he also lets slip the rules to the game. 

Pavayne: ...all rules are mine. Reality bends. My desire. The way it was meant to...

Spike: Bending reality? I didn't just fade away. It was you. That's why they can't see me anymore.

Pavayne: Parlour tricks. To amuse... like your blood. Oh, yes, nothing here without the will. 

Spike once told Buffy that he was not a quick study but this is yet another example to contradict his negative self judgement:

Pavayne: Yes, squirm, boy. It won't make a difference. Getting what you deserve. 

Spike: You're right. I do deserve to go to hell, but not today. (Spike punches and connects with Pavayne)

Pavayne: You dare!

Spike: Quite a bit, mate. Reality bends to desire. That was it, right? That's why I could touch Fred, write your name in the glass. All I had to do was want it bad enough. And guess what I want to do now, you prissy son of a bitch!

You see, Spike has to believe in redemption. He may deserve hell, but it doesn’t mean he has to go there. He’s got hope; he’s got will. He’s lived redemption, he’s doing it, he’s working on it. To accept that Hell is inevitable, and is his “destiny”, would be a contradiction to everything that he is. Want it? Want it badly enough? Then make it happen. As the saying goes, God helps those who help themselves. He’s got the soul to prove it. Reality can be bent, altered, changed all right; we shape the world in which we live simply by being in it. 

Spike is able to engage Pavayne in battle now that he knows the rules but Pavayne is God in this world of ghosts. He knows more tricks, he’s stronger. He has Spike on the ropes, damnation beckoning but Spike is able to get away to Fred’s lab causing Pavayne to follow. Fred tells Spike to step into the circle so they can activate the device and re-corporealise him. Pavayne begins to strangle Fred, making Spike have to choose between his own solidity and Fred’s life.

The decision is a no brainer.

Spike knocks Pavayne into the device, re-corporalising him thereby saving Fred and stopping his reign of terror at the same time.  

Fred is disappointed at the failure but Spike is actually very philosophical; he’s happy with the choice he made, wouldn’t change it for the world. There’s good company, he’s picked up a few new tricks (and demonstrates lifting a coffee mug). There are worse things than being a ghost. Confirming to Fred that it’s just as she’s been saying all along, he is worth saving. Pavayne, however, is locked up in a box, alive but in a suspended state. Pavayne will not be able to move, touch, feel or affect anything. Forever.

Welcome to Hell.

Next up: Angel 5.5 - Life of the Party

[innerchorus]

Right, here’s a few thoughts and favourite panels etc from Chapter 114. I’d like to say I will come back and talk about it more when the scanlation team releases this chapter but there’s no guarantee that I will have the energy for it so I may as well talk about it now. SPOILERS for the most recent chapter, obviously.

Hilmes reveals his face to the gathered crowd!

(And I’m already having some feelings thanks to the little flashback panel to that young Hilmes and Osroes moment we were shown before. For a little piece of trivia, Arakawa included that flashback in Chapter 20, but in the novels it doesn’t actually come up until the point the manga is at now, where it’s inserted right before Hilmes wakes from his angsty nap on the throne, as if the memory is a dream of a simpler time, a happy moment, and a future without problems.

I like that Arakawa included it earlier, as it’s a good reminder of how young Hilmes was when his whole world got torn apart with his father’s death and the palace fire, so it helps to build sympathy for him, but I also like the poignant contrast between the memory and the reality he wakes to, sat on the throne he has always believed he is destined for.)

Arakawa did a great job of portraying the range of reactions among the citizens in the crowd. The younger ones don’t know who Hilmes is, some are dubious, but it seems clear that once he’s taken his mask off, they believe him. The older woman crying and praising Prince Hilmes for liberating Ecbatana... I wonder if she remembers him?

Lots of emotion visible on people’s faces, including a couple of Hilmes’s soldiers with tears in their eyes; it must be such an overwhelming moment to witness!

Meanwhile, Sam just looks... resolved, I guess? He’s chosen his path and all he can do is remain resolute and offer Hilmes whatever support and counsel that he can in order to guide him to become a good ruler. But you just know he’s already thinking of the problems they’re soon going to face, even as the citizens are cheering.

Sure enough, the fact that the gate is closed is met with some complaints and suspicion, though Sam does his best to offer an explanation that will satisfy, at least for now.

Essentially, Sam is acutely aware that Hilmes’s bloodline alone is not enough to keep the support of the populace. He’s taken the capital, but what now? Can he provide for the populace? How will they react when they find a Parsian army led by Andragoras outside the gates?

(The novel actually has the line: ‘Sam was not very optimistic about the future for himself and Hilmes’ and I just 😭😭😭 because it’s so clear he will stay by Hilmes’s side no matter what now, even if he thinks it likely that they will fail to hold the capital.)

tfw when you go to the treasury and find it totally empty...

...and you realise that Guiscard has stolen everything, including the crown you would have used for your coronation.

Hilmes now starts to have some realisations about the position he’s in, and unease and anger creep in.

(I like seeing more of his face! It’s a different look and it’s taken me a couple of reads of the chapter to get used to it, but it’s so nice to be able to see more of his expressions etc)

A Team Arslan scene follows, where Arslan learns of events regarding the situation in the capital, plus what Guiscard is doing. I’ll talk about this section more when the scanlation is out, I think, but it does tug at my heart a little that even now, Arslan wishes that he could mediate between Hilmes and Andragoras, but it’s impossible.

Hilmes wakes from a night of sleeping on the throne in a bloodstained throne room (oof... can’t be much like his childhood self’s dreams of the future) to find someone lurking in the shadows...

OHHH and my hackles are up

because the person who emerges claims to be Husrab...

...but we know that Husrab is already dead (run over by Andragoras’s cart for betraying Tahamenay)

And suspicious figures lurking in dark corners, well... you can draw your own conclusions about that, but this scene is also slightly different to the novel so without further spoilers, I’ll go into that a bit here. In the novel, Hilmes and Sam are discussing plans for strengthening the city’s defences etc when Husrab requests an audience with Hilmes. In the novels, Hilmes has never met Husrab before and so doesn’t know him. However, Sam has. In the manga, Husrab (the real Husrab...) has served in Hilmes’s household in Ecbatana. Is Hilmes going to notice that the man before him is not who he says he is? Is Sam going to arrive on the scene or not? I’m eagerly anticipating the outcome!