#but dw this place is so lovely for the most part and the gems of people here are everything 2 me and far outweigh the bad!!

[otrtbs]

i'm so good nat!!

i hope that the cheese and wine contribute to The Vibes™ bc that sounds heavenly (esp in scotland).

As for people being mean, ik it seems to be an epidemic i'm afraid. i feel like i see a million asks by writers asking when a new update will be, tho idk if there is anything else that isn't swag money that's going on because i'm like, pretty out of the loop.

anyways i hope you're doing good too <3

yayay!! so glad to hear you're doing well!! <33

the wine and cheese are contributing to the vibes. i went to the farmers market and i let the nice lady running the stand pick the cheese for me (It's a goatsmilk cheese w herbs and stuff and she was like "it tastes like pizza" and i was like,,, "ummmm" and she was like "no! not like that! trust me!" and i did and it slaps and it doesn't taste like pizza askjfhsskgjhds) then i went home and i took a nap and the vibes are just UP today!

as far as things not being swag money, idk i've just seen a lot of tiktoks being super negative recently "am i the only one who didn't like [insert fic here]?" or "how did you all read [insert fic here]? it was so bad." a lot of stuff like that has been cropping up. or people will make tiktok videos praising a fic and then people will be in comments complaining about the fic anad ripping into it and the creator of the original video will like the comments??? like that couldn't be me. i would either delete the entire video or the comments ripping into a fanfiction. yk, like a decent person would. also just some of my writer friends are getting harrassed on the dash recently by rude anons. ppl just being very demanding of fic writers to update or include certain tropes or demanding they take their fic in a different direction. also some comments on ao3 are out of POCKET! i can only speak for myself on this one but ppl coming into my ao3 telling me 'i skipped the last chapter because it was boring.' or 'this is dragging out' like ??? okay???? why would u tell me that. just go away 😭

but yeah i've noticed it happening to a lot of fic authors recently, like no one is safe from people just generally being rude about fanfic that authors uploaded for free and expected .0003 ppl to read? which are just my personal gripes but i do wonder where all these people came from. and when they'll be quiet 😭😭 i feel like people forget that fanfic authors are in the fandom and in the same circles?? and they will read and see what you say about their fics?? like it doesn't just hide in a tiktok comment section. long story short i've been blocking ppl left and right on here, on ao3, on tiktok (even tho it's my personal account lmfaooo. there is no room for meanies in my little fandom garden!)

[tim-shii]

DAMN I LOVE YOUR ITOSHI SIBLINGS FIC SO MUCH ❤️ TOO MUCH CUTENESS, especally when baby key call her brothers 'nii-chan' ❤️❤️❤️ Imagine baby kei ask both her 'nii-chan' for some 'siblings quality times' together, and both sae and rin cant say 'no' to baby kei despite their 'relationship' ❤️❤️

a/n: aa tysm for saying that omg i love kei shes the best ever 🫶 this request is so fun to write hshdhah live laugh love itoshi brothers ‼️ not beta 😣 baby itoshi is named kei ofc ,, this is like a part two to the baby itoshi fic i wrote on my old acc but u can read it separately dw enjoy reading mwamwa

rewatching football matches isn't new to itoshi rin. as a player for the national team, he gave himself the responsibility of analyzing and observing the opponent's tactics in order to think of possible plays that would shut them down. 

thirty minutes into the game, rin can't help but furrow his brows. the most skilled player on the team is about to make a goal that got the team the first half of the match. concentration was written on his face, completely focused and silent. there he is, reeling back his feet, about to shoot the ball in the goal. soft patters on the floor echoed in the loving, but rin was too focused on the game to notice. 

taps on his knee caught his attention. looking down at kei who just woke up, hair a mess, blanket in one hand and a plushie clutched to her chest. "good morning you gremlin. 'ya had a nice nap?" said rin as he picked her up and settled her on the couch beside him, pinching her cheek gently after.

"can we play with sae-nii today?" kei yawned, small fists rubbing her eyes. her brother froze, mouth agape, unsure what to say. how does he tell his three year old sister that her brothers have a strained relationship with each other and can't even stand being in the same room for one minute.

"what if he's busy?" rin tries to reason. god forbid he'll have to spend an entire day with sae. kei looked away, huffing grouchily. "but he said he's free today. he told ma yesterday."

oh great, they've talked the day before. "but what if i'm busy?" 

"rin-nii doesn't do anything but soccer. what are you busy about?" sometimes he hates how kei, his sweet little sister, is so blunt with her words. but because she's cute, rin decides that he'll let this one slide. 

realizing that he's playing a losing game, he had no choice but to nod at her. pursing his lips in a forced smile, rin nodded to kei. "how about you go pick out your outfit today while i go ask him?"

"yay!"

itoshi sae, the prodigy of japan and a valuable gem in the soccer world, rarely gets days off. instead of resting, he would rather spend his time practicing alone in the field. however because of a promise he made yesterday, his cleats are left alone in his locker. 

itoshi sae has been glaring at his phone for three minutes. getting calls is a rare occurrence for him. other than the calls his manager makes and the spam calls he gets from a certain demon, his phone stays silent most of the time. 

so why is his brother, the one whose last decent conversation with him was before he left for spain, calling him on a random tuesday morning. before he could answer the call, the ringing stopped, quickly followed by pings.

itoshi rin

'meet us at xxx' 

'kei wants to see you'

'don't be late'

an amusement park. of course, of all places in the world, in japan, kei would pick out the amusement park. sae doesn't necessarily hate the place, he just deems it too bright and … bright.

"sae-nii!" kei ran towards him, immediately hugging his legs. rin follows behind, a small pink bag hung over his shoulder. if the two brothers made eye contact, they certainly didn't make it obvious. silently handing the bag over to sae, rin ruffles kei's hair. "okay you gremlin, nii-chan's here. i'm gonna go now."

"where are you going?" kei frowned at him. "i thought we're all gonna play together?" 

if rin was thinking about leaving, now he was not. one look at kei's sad face is enough to trigger all phases of guilt he'll experience if he chooses to walk away. "but i'm busy, kei." 

the two brothers were staring intently at their youngest sister, observing her every expression. once they noticed the trembling of her lips and the tears starting to pool around her eyes, telepathically, the brothers made a temporary truce to try and get along today. 

"rin's just gonna go buy the tickets, kei. he's not leaving, right rin?" sae picked her up, patting her back as he stared at rin, silently telling him to play along and just get the tickets.

"right. c'mon don't cry, i'll be back with the tickets and we'll go to your favorite rides." 

kei's eyes seemed to sparkle at that. "all of them?" 

"of course, kei. i saw a dango stand, let's go get one." sae steered away, ending the conversation before they agreed to more of kei's ideas. rin turned away, too, after waving at kei, to walk to the booth and purchase the tickets.

sae and rin may not get along due to their contrasting ideals and dreams but for their little sister, they'll always be willing to set aside their 'strained relationship'. after all, her happiness will never not be important for both of the brothers.

likes & reblogs are appreciated !

[pjsk-writin]

( 🐈 anon here massive madoka magica spoilers ofc ) SO lets say, randomly, you encounter a white cat-like creature. you believe only you can hear it and see it. cat-like creature ( his name is kyubey) tells you that it can grant you any wish, but, you will have to become a magical girl and fight 'witches'. you get any wish youd like AND you also get to destroy witches in cute outfits?? you agree. Now for your wish, lets say instead of you, its kanade, but when her father wasnt in a coma. Kanade wishes for her dads work to become succesful. He does become succesful, but like in main story he cannot recreate a 'succesful' song and eventually falls into a coma. Pretty much all wishes come with weird side effects, say you wish for x group to like you and their personalitys are shifted so they like you. Most magical girls end up regretting their wishes deeply in the show, and, from the deep regret and despair is one way where the witches come from. If they fall into a deep despair, they turn into witches and p much turn into mindless beasts, for the other way that witches come to be, you remember that the cat-like creature gave you a "soul gem". It told you your magical power was stored there, and that if it gets shattered, you will die. after defeating a witch, you notice two things. one, your soul gem seems... darker. its lost some of its color and shine. you also see that before dying, the witch drops a seed like "thing" on the floor. after putting the seed thing next to your soul gem, it seems your soul gem absorbs it, and recovers its shine, so you deplete some of your magical power each time you fight one of those witches. You go ask the cat-like thing, and it tells you something; your soulgem contains, quite literally, your soul. if you go more than 100 meters away from it you will faint until its returned to you, and if your magical power runs out, you'll also turn into a witch. Now, you could say "well, i can just take the wish and stay home without depleting magical power", but, now that your body is nothing but a soulless shell, it takes magical power to keep it running. if you do not go out to slay witches, you will die. This causes to be zones "owned" by magical girls, causing girls to actually die in combat with ones of their own kind rather than working along them.

Your wish gives you a special ability of some kind, as an example, if you wish from someone to recover from an illness, you'll have great healing powers.

Magical girls can ONLY die in combat or becoming a witch, so all magical girls are destined to either die in a witches hiding place and never be found , fall into despair, or get slain by another magical girl. Basically there is no hope for them.

Witches have hiding spots that are p much just sekais but creepier and not so cute or not so,, coherent i guess??? magical girls can acces through portals to there, but witches cqn kindap normal humans.

Extra info you can easily skip over: soul gems are normally in the form of accesories. A necklace, earring, etc.

THIS SIS SO LONG IM SORRY IVE BEEN WAKING ROUND MY HOUSE LIKE A MADMAN AS I WRITE THIW —🐈

WOAG OKAY this is super cool actually!!! and its ok dw, ill probably check out madoka sometime....but I used the same charas from the original prompt, I hope you like this!! <3

♡ MADOKA MAGICA - Mizuki Akiyama, Rui Kamishiro and Nene Kusanagi x Reader

Mizuki:

When Mizuki first learns that you're a magical girl, they think it's the coolest thing ever!

Well, that is, until you explain all of the schemantics of it-

They're very confused, but they try to keep up. You had a wish, you were gifted a soul gem, you now had to kill witches in order to stay alive??

The only thing they truly understand is your whole "territory" thing, and they try their best to help you manage it

For all the strife that you being a magical girl brings, they absolutely LOVE your outfit. If there's a way for you to change into it without the whole transformation part, they will try and replicate it for themself

Sometimes, they tease you on the whole thing, but they mean it as light-heartedly as possible. It was certainly very impressive, and they would never discredit that

Rui:

Sticking with my Rui loves magical girls headcanon, he also believes that it's the coolest thing ever!

When you explain everything though, he gets very curious

He won't test your limits persay, but he'll certainly try to find out how everything works. How do you transform? How does you being soulless work? Can he make something to hold your soul gem easier?

He definitely makes drones in an attempt to help you. Even though they can't actually shoot deadly lasers, they can help you look around your territory easier

He always loves watching your transformation, and definitely takes notes for any costume/costume change ideas that he can bring to Tsukasa. He'll ask where Rui gets the ideas and he just shrugs with a grin

He surprisingly doesn't tease you on anything, simply asking questions to quench his curiosity. He'd definitely try to be a sidekick if he could be one!

Nene:

Nene kind of understands the concept of magical girls, so she'll look at you with awe when you tell her

The awe is immediately replaced by concern when you explain everything in detail

She definitely understands that you have your reasons, but she's worried that that is far too much for you to handle on your own, especially with the risk of being killed by someone else-

She'll try to go around town and observe people, telling you about people she thinks are suspicious. More than half of the time she ends up being right, and she doesn't know how-

Your transformation impresses her a ton, but she doesn't say so, in fear of weirding you out. You just remind her of her favorite character in a fighting game...

She asks you about what you do from time to time, but expect her to leave you alone on it otherwise. It's your business, and unless you want her to be involved, she'll stay out of it

[tired-demonspawn]

I am a big big meanie, so for the WIP ask game, even though I already know this one (I'm pretty sure you've infodumped to me about all of them at some point) I feel like your followers deserve to know as well, so tell them about the Delicate Balance Of... stories ♥️

i fucking hate you!!!! :DDDDD!!!!!

alright so it would be probably one fic since then the naming gimmick would be more apparent, however some have more detail than others and therefore a multi-chapter approach might be best?

anyway the naming gimmick is that each of the chapters would be "...x and y" therefore the whole name would be "the delicate balance of x and y", the next chapter would be "...a and b" and so on.

now this fanfic would take place in a everybody lives/nobody dies au and while it would take place in the same universe as all the other jjba fics i have the previous ones would not be mandatory reading to understand the current fic as it is basically just silly little stories that could've taken place in literally any other everybody lives au.

aaaanndd well... since i am what one might call a connoisseur of the noriaki x jotaro variety... there is y'know... that

i dont really feel like explaining further so i shall just impart the chapter titles and my favourite parts from the outlines i have for each of them

i think for some of them it will really show that they probably would be better as multichapter, ah well theres always the "... s and t - part 2" solution:

...schoolwork and hospital visits

the notes are actually not funny so uuhh yeah tldr outsider pov(classmates of the 2 only fucking stand users in the area of maybe 50km)

...young love and being emotionally stunted

this one actually has at least 2 versions and both have some gems so yeah dw its normal that they contradict each other:

...college and long-distance relationship

because we have to have jolyne we gotta introduce her mother. the alternate name for this was actually "the bizarre college experience of one Marina Cujoh":

...trying to beak down your nephew's walls and serial killer hunting

i love part 4 if i didnt include it i would've actually lost it. yknow even further than i am currently lost:

...having a 15-year-old mafia boss uncle and trauma regarding said uncle’s father

i honestly do not much care for part 5, but at this point i mean... i wasnt just gonna not include it:

and finally:

...having a stand-developing teenage daughter and all the trouble that brings

good ol fatherhood to cap it all off!!:

these must all sound absolutely unhinged but ah well thats all for now

since this is the first work that has been asked about(and most likely the last, but ah well), imma tag it as WIP asks work 1, for any uuhh yknow, subsequent... asks about this particualar work.

again not really holding my breath about further asks since this was asked out of pure spite, i believe.

[staryuee]

becoming their sugar mommy — genshin hcs ⸝⸝

꩜ warning[s]: mentions of gambling / casinos , slightly nsfw ?? , reader is still gender neutral :)

𖥻 synopsis: they lose a gambling bet to you and now you can’t help but spoil them <3 (modern au!)

ᜊ characters: childe , zhongli , lisa , diluc

childe / tartaglia

power couple except you’re the only one who holds power and he’s just there to look pretty

i feel like he’d want to be coddled when in a relationship so having someone who constantly spends money on him instead of vice versa makes him feel warm

definitely teases you !!! especially if you send him a gift with a note attached saying “reminded me of you <3” but in reality he loves it sm he doesn’t know what to say

felt very flustered the first time you sent him some expensive champagne — since yk after that tragic loss in the casino he was sure you’d ridicule him

not that he’d complain tbh, being humiliated by you is the best way to go down in his opinion-

one of the gifts had a note attached with your number and boy was he ecstatic ! he could finally talk to his not so secret sugar mommy (i want to use the term glucose parent so bad)

the convo started off slow but as each day progressed you both became more friendly with each other and longer conversations were common

managed to turn gift-giving into a competition :]

it got out of hand, there were literal stockpiles of different luxurious brands from all around the globe and as much as you both appreciated it you would rather have places to walk in your own house

when you sent him a bunny boy costume with some of his favourite flowers though, you didn’t hear from him for a while - dw he loved it

from that point forward the gifts got more,, risqué

most likely had a one night stand with you and caught feelings lol

he will be your malewife if you asked btw , say the word and he will be in the kitchen cooking up some pierogis , rosł and katsudon , to spice it up a bit , all the while you’re doing your own thing

zhongli

unfortunately lady luck wasn’t on zhongli’s side , but maybe she had a change of heart since he managed to meet you

losing to you must’ve been the biggest blessing on zhongli’s part as when he woke up the next morning with a massive headache, he found a gift basket at his door

a pastel yellow note that was attached to the flowers within said basket explained that after his massive loss at the casino you drove him home to help him clear his head a bit <33

that explains how you got his address - but doesn’t explain why you decided to show such kindness

very appreciative about each gift that you give him no matter what it is , in his eyes if it’s from you it holds more value than any precious gem

though his elegant and assertive demeanour can fool the public eye , he will most definitely use you to get things he wants while being bratty

you’re happy to satisfy his needs of course , just as long as he satisfies yours in return ;>

he’s your personal play toy with each expensive item that you so graciously provide him with

the luxuries he receives from you can’t compare to the nights of repayment which you can imagine as you wish

however he does truly worry for your well-being at times , last week you gave him a cute beige coloured dragon plushie, but then yesterday you bought him cow print lingerie ??

he still never questions you no matter the obscurity of your gift

occasionally , he will drop by and gift you something of his own , it’s very sweet he especially loves just making you different beverages whilst your working

your personal malewife !! <3

lisa

her ? losing ? no ones ever heard of that like ever !!

her good looks are an easy way to appeal to the side of good fortune , yet it also allows her to use deception

by that i mean, you managed to call out the fact she was cheating from the get-go - unlike the previous people - but you let her have her fun for some entertainment

a pretty and sophisticated lady like her shouldn’t be hanging around in a place with lowlife drunkards is what you told her, by the second she drew in closer and closer almost to where your lips were touching

honestly the sexual tension between the two of you was making everyone else uncomfortable but in a good way [ if ykyk ]

the first gift you gave her was a golden necklace with a detailed rose at the end , in return she took you on a date to a high end restaurant

she asked you if you decided to take pity on her due to her losing or if it was just her looks that drew your attention — and if you’re being honest it’s more the fact she scammed so many men without getting caught

it was impressive and hilarious that people were so easy to manipulate with good looks , men are truly naïve creatures /hj

who doesn’t want to spoil an irresistible lady ??

she would definitely give you something in return for the luxuries you give her , whether it be a unique and ancient book , a kiss , hug etc etc.

falls in love with you 100% <3 it’s not just bc of the things you gift her tho ! she loves your company and the fact you don’t really want anything in return

diluc

the news of this happening spread like literal wildfire , it was on every news station possible that a CEO of the biggest company in germany, mondstadt (let’s just say mondstadt is the city and not the actual nation) lost to a rival CEO

the smug aura that you radiated pissed diluc off , he stormed out yet still managed to look professional and calm

wasn’t very pleased to find an unlabelled gift sitting on his work desk with no prior knowledge and was even less happy to find out it was specially delivered by you

honestly the gifts started off as taunts to make fun of him , trying to get that precious reaction out of the ever so stoic diluc

the final straw was when you asked him on a dinner date to talk things through - he accepted just so he could scold you about your childish behavior

the date didn’t go according to his plan , you managed to fluster him with a few lingering glances and a batch of roses that matched the CEO’s fiery hair <3 he didn’t appreciate that .. only to some extent

hates to admit it but he genuinely enjoyed the date with you as he got to know more about you outside of a work setting

let the obvious romance between two CEO’s commence !!

both yours and diluc’s employees started to get irritated by the vast amount of presents that laid around carelessly around the departments

the number of letters from you respectively made his workplace look absolutely different from what it was months ago (why cant you just send an email like a normal person,,,)

the media caught on faster than u did tbh

oh yh, you 100% have fights over who pays for the dinner but you always manage to win since you’re you

you hold the power over diluc , you can decide what to do with that <3

©IHEARTGANYU do not copy, steal or repost <33

notes: ahhh tysm for 180+ followers <33 mwah mwah ily lot !!

[mirclealignr]

BEING A MUSICAL/BOOKWORM S/O OF THE MARAUDERS + CO. ;

requested by anon. I couldn’t help myself, and decided to do both bookworm and musical!! basically full of 60s and 70s music but also like instruments too dw djdjf i hope you like it bestie boo <3

a/n: there are mentions that the reader can play an instrument, but it’s not the focus of the headcanon so it’s still pretty inclusive!

James Potter ;

You’d have a lot to teach James.

He wouldn’t be able to deny his ignorance of good muggle music. Though Sirius and Remus had shown him some, he wasn’t very well versed in it.

So the task would fall to you—Queen, The Beatles, Elvis, David Bowie, The Who, Eric Clapton, ABBA—it all came down to you.

I think he’d take a particular liking to The Rolling Stones, and would often request it when you were listening to music at home.

He’d always want to get up and dance to it, even if he didn’t know the song. As long as it had a good beat, he’d drag you up to dance with him.

He’d love to listen to you play, especially when he recognised the song you were playing—he’d definitely sit there trying to think of the name of it the whole way through.

He’d probably get really excited if he could remember the name or who sang it.

James would definitely have started to learn guitar during his teens and would take it up more after he met/started dating you.

He’d try to learn all your favourite songs so he could play them to you and, if you wanted, play them together.

He wouldn’t be a big reader either, but he wouldn’t mind winding down listening to you read in the evening.

Something about your voice reading sentences strung together by people who’d lived a hundred years ago made him feel like he was in another world.

He would always laugh at your impromptu commentary or how giddy you’d get when two characters finally got together.

Eventually though, he’d grow restless and toss the book from your hands and silence your upcoming protests with his lips.

Remus Lupin ;

Exchanging books—that would be how it started for Remus and you.

He’d give you a suggestion, and you’d give him one, and then you’d come together later to talk about what you thought of each other’s recommendations.

Most of the time, you each brought up something the other had never thought of, or never looked at in the same way.

Most importantly, you’d gush over your favourite characters together and favourite scenes that took place.

Eventually, Remus would feel confident enough to give you the books he recommended from his own collection, which were lined with his inner thoughts, spilled out into the margins.

His books would be worn and frayed in some places, but it was so perfectly Remus that you wouldn’t mind.

Despite living in a muggle part of England, Remus wouldn’t be too familiar with the music going around.

He’d be a little too wrapped up in travelling to and from the library, books in hand and retreating to quiet places to read.

However, he wouldn’t be so terrible and would particularly enjoy The Beatles and The Monkeys, which you would never complain about.

After all, they did have good albums.

But you’d expand his horizons to the true gems of the 70s.

Whenever he heard a new song, he’d have to sit and listen to it properly—to the music, the beat and the lyrics as much as he could.

With songs he already knew he’d sing them softly under his breath, without even realising it at first.

After a while he’d notice, and know that you had been listening to him. He’d look up smiling with dusty cheeks and carry on singing along while looking at you.

Probably pulling you into his chest so he could sing the lyrics softly into your ear—even better if it was a love song.

He’d even tap to the beat on your skin, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

And then, he’d press his lips to yours as the song faded away.

Sirius Black ;

Sirius would always take you record shopping, especially on the streets of London.

You’d both get excited when you saw a good sale on, and come home with a brand new set of vinyls that you’d play immediately upon arriving back.

You’d probably get up and dance wildly to your favourite songs, not caring that yours or his parents were downstairs, ready to reprimand you at any moment.

Jumping up and down on beds before falling to the floor while doing air guitar on the solos.

Sirius would act out the lyrics as if he was the vocalist, singing them to you most theatrically.

Most of the time it would be during Queen or David Bowie—eccentric, of course.

Sometimes though, during particularly stormy nights or difficult mornings, he’d take to the piano and let his fingers dance delicately over the keys.

That would be when he looked most troubled, most broken. Ironic really, that such a beautiful sound came as a result of it.

And after a few songs, you’d always wrap your arms around him from behind and remind him that he had you.

Depending on how he was feeling, sometimes you’d sit beside him and play a duet to try and take his mind off things.

Sometimes you’d play just for him, and Sirius would adore the concentration you had, making sure you played the right notes at the right times.

During quiet nights, you’d often read to him on the sofa, your legs stretched out over him.

He’d listen intently, building the world in his mind, creating faces to the characters you gave voices to.

He didn’t much enjoy reading alone, but being read to, or reading to you brought a new sense of enjoyment to it.

Sometimes you’d finish the lines he was reading to you, and he loved it every time, pecking you on the forehead afterwards.

And after he finished, every time without fail, you’d express your excitement for the next chapter.

Sirius would smile, leaning down further and bringing you with him, listening to you talk as he gently let his eyes close and hands roam over your back.

Lily Evans ;

Though Lily was very studious, she also enjoyed her fair share of fiction.

She’d be a hopeless romantic, drawn to the classics—Brönte, Austen, Hardy.

Her favourite quotes would be underlined in her paperback copies, and she loved quoting them to you.

You’d always carry one around in your bag in case you got stuck somewhere or the bus was late, or for long car journeys with your families.

At nights, you and Lily would read your books next to each other, sometimes holding hands in the middle while the candlelight flickered over your pages.

You’d usually concede first, putting your book down and nestling into Lily until she finished.

She’d never be far behind though, sinking into the bed and wrapping her arms around you and drifting off to sleep.

You’d always wake Lily up with music if you woke up before her.

Most of the time it was softer songs like ‘Dreams’ by Fleetwood Mac or ‘Love Me Tender’ by Elvis Presley—something nice for her to wake up to.

She’d shift and her eyes would flutter open before her lips stretched into a smile and beckoned you back to bed.

She knew her muggle music, having used it often to drown out the drone of her sister.

It was almost fitting that she was so into AC/DC and Led Zeppelin. But when she was alone, she listened to a lot of Simon and Garfunkel.

She’d be more than happy to learn from you too though, just as much as she would be to share her taste in music.

Most of your likes would coincide quite closely, and Lily would never dislike anything you showed her.

But she couldn’t deny that she had her favourites, just as you would of hers.

Lily would focus a lot on the lyrics, quoting them to you much like she did from her favourite classics.

Most of the time you’d sing the next line back to her and have the song stuck in your head the rest of the day, fondly thinking of Lily as you hummed it.

Marlene Mckinnon :

Fleetwood Mac. Fleetwood Mac. Fleetwood Mac. Fleetwood Mac.

Marlene would adore this band, and whenever she played it, she’d just embody the music.

It was one of the times she’d look most beautiful, her hair swaying as she moved, her smile lighting up the room, and her hands reaching out for you.

You’d always sing ‘Rhiannon’ to her, because it was as if the song was written with her in mind. The lyrics described her in every way.

ABBA would be another big one for Marlene—screaming the lyrics to Waterloo no matter where she was or what time it happened to be.

At first Marlene would find it hard to let you pick the vinyls to play, but she’d quickly realise that you had impeccable taste in music.

After that, she’d be excited to hear what you put on next, and see if you could play it before she could.

At nights, she’d place the needle over the record and let a soft sound play soothingly through the room.

Sometimes she’d hold out her hands and invite you to slow dance with her, foreheads resting together, close to kissing but waiting for the perfect moment.

And sometimes she’d come sit with you on the bed, picking up a book and handing it to you.

It would be left from the night before, and she’d get comfortable, resting against you while waiting for you to begin.

Sometimes you’d even flick through Vogue magazines, picking out your favourite outfits and bags or laughing at how strange popular fashion could look.

Most of the time you’d go out shopping to local or nearby markets to buy second hand books and records.

It was always exciting, wondering whether you’d managed to snag a book with notes in the margins or if your records would play well.

If they didn’t, it wouldn’t be any trouble to you or Marlene, you’d just take the warped or scratched vinyl and decorate your walls with them.

Either way, money, and time, well spent.

Regulus Black ;

Regulus is a poetry kind of guy, and he’d like to recite his favourite poetry to you, especially in the middle of the night when neither of you could sleep.

Keats, Donne, Shakespeare, Shelley, Byron, he’d know it all, and would never get tired of the way your eyes watched him and how you listened to every line carefully.

Sometimes, he’d let you finish the lines, and you’d go back and forth until you’d finished the poem together—it was always best when they ended with a rhyming couplet.

Since he was such an avid reader, like you, your exchange of letters often had the power to take your breath away.

He would truly have a way with words, and to think that he was sharing them with you, or even writing about you, was incredibly humbling.

It would make you feel…wanted.

He wouldn’t like to share his deepest thoughts like that, but with you, it wouldn’t seem so daunting—he’d find himself desperate to share.

Another thing he wouldn’t mind doing with you, was playing the piano. Usually an audience was the worst thing he could think of, but playing to you would be the best thing he could imagine.

They weren’t modern songs at all, but you’d still enjoy hearing them be played by someone so talented and willing to let you listen.

He’d never feel uncomfortably exposed with you like he might have done with others.

At your home, you’d be convinced that he’d prefer older songs, the oldies.

The Ink Spots, Frank Sinatra and Billie Holiday.

You’d be right, of course, but he’d also enjoy the early Rolling Stones and The Beatles.

He’d love to dance with you, holding your hands and moving to the beat of whatever song the record was spinning.

He’d always pull you close, whispering the words in your ear once he’d learned them.

Dancing with Regulus would always feel incredibly intimate, just like your exchange of letters or poetry reciting.

It all felt so genuine that sometimes it would be hard to breathe, but he’d always be there to give your breath back with a slow kiss.

- - -

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[cassberry]

hey, I realise this is a. very broad question, but what's hermitcraft actually like? what are the vibes? bc I used to watch mindcrack uhc and I know a few of them ended up doing hermitcraft stuff (beef, for example) but part of the reason I never tried watching dsmp is because it was wayyy too fucking dramatic and emotional for me. so is hermitcraft a little more lighthearted? if so, where should I start? (btw, I know I personally love a good opportunity to ramble abt my current interest, but if this is too much info I'm asking for dw abt it!)

Please don't apologise for giving me an excuse to ramble about hermitcraft! I wish more people would let me loose to infodump so thank you for this! I am so sorry this has become as long as it has and that I took so long to answer lol

The best way I can describe hermitcraft is a chill, fun vanilla server in which the hermits collab together on and build just the most ridiculous things. Just so many big builds. It's super light-hearted and honestly, if you like just pure minecraft gameplay with great creators this is really the best place for it.

Now for a place to start, I would highly recommend the latest season, season 9. Whenever the hermits start a new seed/world they call it a new season, and a new season is to both give the hermits a break from the minecraft grind and allow them to start up again with fresh ideas. There can be callbacks and references to previous seasons as you move forward, but each season tends to be its own self-contained thing so you don't need to watch 1000's of hours of content to "catch up" if you don't want to.

Starting with s9 is great because it’s only been going for a bit over a month so there isn't a tonne of backlog if you want to see if you like the vibe. It has been packed with collaborative events such as the spawn village, secret fools and currently an easter egg hunt is running. S9 has been fantastic so far as all the hermits are at the top of their game and the builds done already are jaw dropping. I made a post with pictures of a few of their "starter bases". Starter bases!

(This is Scar’s starter base...)

In regards to lore like in DSMP, individual hermits may have storylines or themes their season follows and there will be occasionally a server wide event such as the s6 civil war, the s7 mayoral race and uhhh,,, "moon big" in s8. But most of the time hermits will be either working on their major project for the season, whether it be their mega base or somehow breaking minecraft to get 1 billion item drops in their farms.

(Season 8 is an exception here as it was a highly experimental but condensed season which had lore relating to "moon big". It is an incredible season, with many of the hermits sharing bases and all jammed together on a small island, but if you just want plain minecraft gameplay it can be a little jarring. I adored it but I can see how it might not be everyone's cup of tea.) 

If you do end up wanting to watch previous seasons (which I do highly recommend), I would personally start with s7. There is a post on it that expands on this way more than I do, but s7 and s8 are fantastic and can give you some more insight into each hermit, as well as some great content.

Which hermits to watch is a little trickier because there are currently 26 hermits and they all tend to have their own style and vibe. I was writing out all the hermits I'm watch but I'm actually embarrassed how many of them there are lmao

But for the sake of honesty my favourites that I'm watching this season are Gem, Grian, Scar, Zedaph and Beef. (I would also be watching Etho and Mumbo but alas they're on a break right now ;-; they are very missed)

For hermits I would recommend if you were used to the old mindcrackers maybe start with Beef, Bdubs or DocM. If not, Grian or Scar are always fun, as well as maybe Keralis, Tango or False. Check out hermitcraft.com for a full list of all the hermits or let me know what kind of things you like to watch and I can give you specific recs :)

You did mention UHC so if you wanted something a little more self-contained and death game-y then please watch 3rd Life and Last Life. They are short series run by Grian and are full of a bunch of hermits and non-hermits. 3rd Life is around eight episodes and although it is very, very different to hermitcraft, it’s a great way to see a bunch of hermits interacting.  I could write up a whole seperate post on why everyone needs to watch 3rd Life and Last Life but I'll save you from that haha

If you have any other specific questions, please don't hesitate to ask! I can info dump about hermitcraft all day, every day!

[onmyyan]

Hi its me again. I love your writing and the fact that there isn't as much abuse like there is in others. It reminds me of old yandere stories were it was genuine lovesickness. Anyway, how do you think jjba yanderes would react to a darling that is taller and more muscular than them by quite a bit. You can do whoever you like I don't mind.

A/N: Omg ily🥺 it means a lot you said all that because I really love this genre it’s my comfort trope anyway thank you for the request n I hope ya like it!! Kira should be a trigger warning in an of itself but dw he’s just weird, not mean. Mentions of his past ‘girlfriends’, a curse word or two, lil suggestive in someplace’s Mista murks a few people, tw//gun violence

Characters: Pt2 Joseph, Josuke, Kira, Mista

Joseph was used to looking down on people, standing at a proud 6’5” he was literally and figuratively knocked on his ass when he’d first laid eyes on you, his immediate thought was you were a forgotten pillarman coming from nowhere to get revenge for your masters only to quickly realize you were just a stallion. You were strong enough to put him on his back after one too many cheeky comments. Unafraid to speak your mind and keep him in check, You would stare down at him with that mind melting smirk, all too aware of his frustrations, you assumed he was just being a man, ashamed to be outclassed by someone other than himself, oh honey how wrong you were. You enjoyed teasing the behemoth of a man as no one else really could, at least not as well as you did, throughout your little jabs and snark he always had a retort, a response on the tip of his tongue, eager to do this dance of yours until one of you broke, to you he was a way too cocky dangerously self assured pretty boy who was entertainingly easy to rile up, but to Joseph, you were his everything. Someone he could proudly take home to Granny Erina once he’d finally tamed you. He had a plan, a three step plan to steal your heart just as you’d done his, and this little game of who could annoy the other the most was just step 1. “It’s been fun JoJo but you’re gonna have to find someone else to bother.” You’d jokingly said one day out of the blue, an odd friendship had formed through the month you’d been in town and it felt wrong to leave without notice, an act of kindness you’d learn to regret. “Is this one of your famous jokes (Y/n)? Not so funny to play with a mans heart like that I nearly believed you.” He finished with a scoff, his signature smirk not reaching his eyes. “It’s true Joseph, my flight leaves tomorrow, I didn’t wanna leave without saying goodbye, because as much as we fuck around you’re pretty fun to hang out with.” Your sincerity almost made him feel bad about rushing the next few steps of his plan, he’d have to cram months of planning into a night but he’d accomplished more with less time on his side. He huffed, his grin stretched wide across his handsome features. “Then we outta make tonight count eh?” A thick arm was tossed around your neck, you had to bend awkwardly for this to be possible much to your amusement. “Okay you weirdo, whatever you say.” You let him lead you around town with a grin, unaware you’d be missing that plane, and any other one you tried to take without him.

Josuke watched you eat with the dopiest grin on his face, he’d spent an extra hour in the mirror this morning in preparation for your first official date! Well you didn’t exactly know it it was a date and Okayasu was eating rather messily beside you two but still! You’d actually agreed to come to Toni’s with him! You’d been an enigma since you transferred to the bizarre town, choosing to keep to yourself, and despite the intimidating height and mass you possessed, he saw through your act in seconds. There was a huge softie under all that muscle, he’d watched you enough to know this as a fact, you were a gem and he was intent on showing you his appreciation and adoration for the rest of his days, a vow he’d silently taken the day you’d stolen his heart, the moment was brief in reality but it lasted forever in his mind, you smiled at him in passing, he could feel time slow down, everyone around you faded in the background, a backdrop to the beginning of your story. He could imagine telling your kids how you’d met, something about the way you’d stare down at him, eyes sharp and attentive, like you truly listened when people spoke, your laugh was loud when it was real and every time he heard it he felt 10 years added to his lifespan. At the same time that icky feeling at another person making you laugh was conflicting, he’d never been in love before but he suddenly understood why his mom had never given up on his dad, love was weird but he wouldn’t give it up for anything. You’d accidentally snapped your chopsticks laughing too hard at a joke he’d tossed out, your face scrunched in embarrassment before chuckling at yourself and switching to a fork, his stand came out on its own, pocketing the shards to fix later, a new item for his ever growing collection, what a cute little memento from your first date! His thoughts swirled happily with the stories you’d be telling your kids. Thankfully neither of you noticed his little pickpocket moment, dangerous plans forming as he stared at you with those misleadingly soft puppy dog eyes.

Kira could die in this moment, happily I might add, as your firm but soft hand was wrapped oh so deliciously around his throat threatening to crush it with ease at the slightest movement. He’d been watching you for a while now, the longest he’d ever spent on someone he didn’t plan to kill, it become sort of hobby he’d picked up recently, the morally upsetting activity bringing peace to his day to day, usually he used his stand to carefully observe your routine, eager to learn all he could about his future spouses likes and desires, but he was getting greedy. Of course he could always introduce himself but he resisted, knowing there was a time and place to get exactly what he wanted. He liked to think he knew everything about you by now, your favorite color, how you liked your coffee, your love for cats, but he didn’t anticipate this. You were much more observant than he’d given you credit for, while you couldn’t see his stand you could sense yourself being watched, and seeing the large blonde lurking indiscriminately in the crowds throughout the day was enough to set you off. So you trailed off into the less crowded parts of town quickly entering an alleyway, he followed in pure confusion only to be roughly slammed into the wall, his stand came out on reflex but simply stared at his attacker, it seemed almost confused as what to do. “Why the hell are you following me pretty boy?” His eyes rolled to the back of his head at the feel of your fingers tightening, god he’d never felt this rush of exhilaration, none of his past ‘girlfriends’ could pull such an illicit reaction from him with a simple touch. When he didn’t answer you simply scoffed and tossed him aside like it was nothing. You left with a threat to stay out of your sight, yet all he could do was smile, the faint imprint of your fingers burned in his skin deliciously, how lucky could one man get?

Mista observed you with hungry eyes. His stare was unapologetically locked on your form. He made no intention to hide his attraction for you. The day you’d joined Buccarati’s crew was the day his world flipped. He assumed his new teammate would be no one to fuck with based on what Bruno told him about your stand, but when you walked in? Needing to bend down slightly just to enter the doorway had him sweating in his seat. He didn’t know what to say as he watched you happily interact with his fellow teammates, immediately you blended with the group, but all that was running through his mind were all the fun things you could do with those muscles. He usually stayed silent around you, not out of dislike as one would assume from his piercing gaze, but fear of accidentally voicing one of those nasty thoughts kept him quiet. You didn’t seem to mind though, always including him in the conversation, you even understood his very valid fear of that dreaded number! How could god plop such a perfect person in his lap and expect him to not do anything about it? Alas, Bruno had specifically told them not to make you uncomfortable with any flirting so he bit his tongue. Your aura was calming, a contrast to your powerful stand, speaking of, he couldn’t get his under control. Whenever they could Sex Pistols was out and all over you. They climbed and clamored for your attention, thankfully you didn’t seem to mind, always entertained their antics when you could, even giving each one a small peck when they wouldn’t let you leave for a mission without Mista, to say he was done for was an understatement, it took one mission going foul for his resistance to snap. His stand moved faster than it ever had, piercing the skulls of the idiots who brought you pain. He left the last one slowly bleeding out kneeling down to wipe the matted hair from your forehead, “You okay baby? Don’t worry honey I’ll make the bastard hurt.” He spoke not breaking eye contact, his hand pointed behind him, grip steady as he unloaded in the poor fool who thought it was a good idea to make you bleed, the wound was small, not even deep enough to trouble Giorno but that didn’t matter to Guido, any slight against you was disrespecting the future parent of his children, and what kind of man would he be if he didn’t defend your honor?

[goji-pilled]

Tamura bcuz i havent started th next part of DW AU!

"So, let me see if I have this correct."

Tamura stared at the young lady seated next to her, headache pounding behind her eyes as she downed another full mug of that god awful cider Barkeep gives her. Homura That Won was nursing a cup of cola once more, her mystery compatriot standing so closely behind her.

"This bar is a place where every and any Akemi Homura can freely enter? And interact with one another?" A dull nod as the Homura That Loved Pranks swindled her most recent whoopie cushion victom cheered behind them. "And not only does this all not destroy the fabric of reality, but we can freely enter one another's... realities? Worlds? Dimensions?"

"Timelines is the most agreeded upon term, but yeah. We do that here." The novelty of educating a veteran Homura in metaphysics and temporal rifts lost its charm after the fifth re-explanation.

The Winner still held a look of confusion on her face. "But wouldn't more alternate versions of ourselves be within this establishment right now? With every reset our individual timelines warp and change. If we replaced ourselves with different versions of ourselves, more branching timelines would have to be created and-"

Tamura couldn't take anymore of this. Actually, no. That was a lie, she's endured skeptical Sayakas and Madokas more untolerable than this woman. Fuck it, might as well play into the madness. Loudly interrupting the Winner, Tamura said,

"If you're having th-hic-at much trouble, 'scuse me, then wait till you find out about the others."

And three... two... one~

"'Others'. W-what do you mean by others?" Oh her head was gonna explode. Pressing two fingers into her mouth Tamura blew a shrill whistle and waited. Ever since their early interactions Tamura made an agreement with the other three that should they ever need each other, they only need to whistle for the others and they'd all meet up. There wasn't much reason to do so other than to avoid the crippling loneliness and realization that they were all from too similar worlds that they could never go back to.

But they mainly just dicked around like they would've done as friends, in their own timelines.

Strolling out from one of the sliding doors was Mami, wearing a golden kimono with red and blue accents that swirled into blossoming flowers. Stumbling out of the kitchen behind Barkeep was an unkempt Kyouko who had ttried to tame her wild hair with hair ties and hair nets. Finally entering the bar from the back door was Sayaka in full armoured uniform, sending one of her cutlasses away as she pocketed a whetstone. They all hovered around Tamura for a second before all collectively leaning againts each other (and the bar) and having a brief hug.

The Winner only stared as she saw her best friends, her family, all young and hugging each other in a space where time didn't exist and only Homuras should be able to find.

"I-I am sorry, what!?" Here interruption garnered only jeers from the other Homuras and glares from the quartet.

"Did you forget the part where you had your friend come in with you?" At that scathing accusation the Winner blushed a fierce red as she seemed to remember the new girl drapped herself atop her back.

"You said that only other Akemi's would be able to enter this space! Or was that a lie that you had told me?" Ah, she was blindly accusing now. Must've drank more glasses than she noticed.

"Says the girl who had seemingly broken the magical girl system and gotten her 'Good Ending'. You probably broke the laws of reality to do it." Not noticing the sweat drop on either of the new customers brows, Tamura tapped each of her friends arms to let go. Pointing from one girl to the next Tamjra continued.

"Mami here was the first of them to show up here. She came from a timeline where she was saved by a version of us that hadn't been too bitter yet. Unfortunately, Mami had activated the shield's time travel feature by mistake just as that Homura lost her soul gem to Nagisa's witch."

"That's the theory at least." Mami grew somber as she inserted her version of events. "When I had come to, I found myself in this vast space of nothingness, empty void as far as I can see. When I tried to find some sign of life I eventually saw... flashes of other timelines." She clutched her arms around herself, remembering uncomfortable memories; Sayaka hugged her from behind while Kyouko placed a hand on her shoulder.

"That wasn't the only thing I saw, however. In my wandering I stumbled across a familiar face, one I thought I'd never be able to see again." Turning around she smiled at Tamura, who smiled back at her long-past mentor. "She was able to help bring me back from the beginnings of insanity, and brought me here, where I won't be alone anymore."

"My story isn't all that happy." Sayaka grimaced as she started her tale, frowning at the floor and shifting out of her uniform; she wore a stained t-shirt and torn jeans. "When I came here it was in a deep, consuming rage. In the timeline I came from, I had just lost Mami, and ended up fighting Kyouko soon after. Eventually Homura ended up talking to me and- I don't even know. One moment we were talking and the next..."

Her breaths became shallow and rapid, a glossy sheen covering her eyes as Sayaka's body trembled. A dark aura seemed to radiate around her form, before it disappeared when Kyouko lunged herself onto the blue oni and hugged. Taking deep breaths Sayaka confessed her sins.

"I-I just saw red. We got into a fight and I just- I wanted her dead. It was almost like my fight with my Kyouko, but instead of just, wanting her gone, I-I wamted her dead. She must've saw she was going to die and... next thing I know I'm here, and the others were calming me down."

"Mine ain't all that gruesome." Kyouko squeezed her friend tighter as she tried to line her story up. "Way it went was sorta like this:

In one of your loops ya had the idea to bring pinkie with ya, back in time to March. Eventually things went ta shit fer the both of ya, but I ended up making it to the end. Sadly she ended up contracting and so Homs went back in time; I tried to convince her to at least bring me with her, but the two of ya wouldn't allow it. Said Mitakihara needed a hero in Mami's place."

The Crimson Survivor gave a look to Mami and the two seemed as if they were about to have a moment. They both sucked in a deep breath and shook their heads.

"How I got here wasn't all that big though. I was practicing my magic - once I had a goal to live to I got it back - and next thing I know this ripple in the air next to much shows up, and then hauls me off to here. First thing I saw was a little kiddie Homura, cute kid by the way" every Homura blushed at that comment, "and then pointed me to a very pissed Sayaka. And then, i uh, may have cried like a bitch, but I calmed her down and yeah. Here we are."

The Winner could only stare as she tried not to let tears flow out of her eyes, the tragedies they've downplayed a fierce reminder to her own apathetic treatment to her own loops. She stood up and hugged each of the girls before sitting back down in her seat, the mystery girl hugging her close before standing aside.

"Well, you've got our life stories. Now what's her deal?" Tamura pointed with the bottom of her mug as she sipped her cider, the girl with shiny limbs giggling at the question. She placed a palm against her chest and then pulled it out flat in front of her, as if she were presenting her soul gem.

Instead of a gem was actually a very large grief seed.

"Well... do you want the long or short story?"

yes i did make the happy funny silly slin off manga sad and angsty a bit. also added lore because i actually liked homura's revenge. this is what i churn out at 11:30pm. now i mayb sleep

I love the Tamura stuff like. Genuinely.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Parrotfish

Parrotfish has 20 stories at Gossamer. For many of my interviews I wonder what’s wrong with me for having posted so few fic recs for an author over the years, and Parrotfish is for sure one of them. (What’s wrong with me is what’s wrong with XF fandom - there’s an overwhelming number of amazing fics.) Check out her stories, including gems like Twelfth Voyage and the Caught in the Act series that’s heavy MSR and ends with a long casefile. Big thanks to Parrotfish for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It doesn’t surprise me now, but there was a long period when it did. When I started writing fanfic, I thought of it as fleeting and ephemeral, never expecting it to have any lasting power. Mostly I was grateful if we just didn’t get sued for copyright infringement. When it started to become clear that fanfic had permanence, I was gobsmacked. But here we are.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

For me, it was a very positive experience. I managed to steer clear of most flame wars and unpleasantness (in XF fandom, anyway). And I made friends I’m still in touch with today – that is absolutely the best part.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

ATXC, baby! I know it makes me sound like a dinosaur, but I actually miss usenet.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

X-Files fic and fandom is where I learned that wanting to tell new stories, or retell existing ones with a new twist, is not a childish impulse, but a really valid, creative endeavor. And also, that smut is good. Well, good smut is good. Bad smut is funny.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

Compelling characters responding to impossible circumstances, plus a really creative use of genre storytelling to reflect the times.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I honestly don’t remember how I stumbled across ATXC, but once I did, I think the elapsed time between reading my first fanfic and writing one could be measured in nanoseconds.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Completely nonexistent. Back in the day, I would never have believed you if you’d told me that I would someday be indifferent not just to XF fandom, but to the XF itself. But honestly, I am, other than a vague sense of nostalgia.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

My first fandom predates XF by decades – Star Trek. After XF, I was very involved in just one (Doctor Who), and nominally in a couple more. As crazy and argumentative as XF fandom could be, I felt DW fandom was worse, probably in large part because the internet had exploded, and there were just so many people involved. DW fandom ended up being a much less positive experience than XF fandom. I felt that people had abandoned all pretense of being supportive or kind. When I realized that meanness was starting to suck me in, I walked away.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

This could take all day, so I’ll just randomly pick one: Captain James T. Kirk, because he (and Star Trek) was my first fannish obsession. You never get over your first.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Nope. But I suppose I got a liftetime’s worth of M&S in just a few years.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

XF, no. Other fandoms, almost never. I dunno – the shine seems to be off that apple.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

You know, it’s been so long, it’s hard to remember. Of course, Iolokus by MustangSally and RivkaT springs to mind. I’m hesitant to mention various others whom I only remember by their real names (and many of whom published under their real names early on – we never imagined that would become a problem!). But I do want to mention Leyla Harrison, who wrote so feelingly about the Scully cancer arc as she herself battled, and ultimately succumbed to cancer. Later, a character was named for her. She was a friend.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Sub Rosa, which was an installment in my otherwise forgettable, mostly smutty Caught in the Act series. No idea where the inspiration for that came from. It was written entirely on trains commuting to work.

Do you think you'll ever write another X -Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Mmmm….nope.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

It’s been a while.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I used to scuba dive a lot. I liked parrotfish, and I loved that it was a fish named for a bird.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Mostly no, or very little. It’s my own private little world.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Nope. It’s all just floating out there in the ether somewhere.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

There are no bad story ideas, only badly written stories.

(Posted by Lilydale on March 16, 2021)

[popculturebuffet]

DWD Reviews: Negaduck or The Good, The Bad and Both are Darkwing (Commissioned by WeirdKev27)

The march to “Just Us Justice Ducks” continues as I bring on the bad guys! And it’s a twofer as we focus on Megavolt and Negaduck! And because the  show apparently wasn’t confusing enough in terms of continuity, this is a second Negaduck who was created before the one we all know, but whose episode aired after, but whose only episode was aired after several of the other ones and...

Point is Megavolt’s latest gizmo creates two darkwings, one a sacchrine goody two shoes and the other an ax crazy, trollish, nightmare of a being who wants to destroy everything. So basically insert your own Ned Flanders and Donald Trump jokes here. Review continues after the break

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Whelp after taking most of the week off i’m back.. in part because of another Kev Comission, and it’s not exclusive to him, anyone reading this can commission any animated episode I have access to for five bucks, 15 for a movie, he’s just the only one taking advantage of it.  But yeah plug aside i’ve been a bit distracted by the election, a new fridge and bunches of other stuff going on to really focus on my reviews, though I do have two planned for the future and regular coverage will rock on. So this was a nice little jolt back to reality and back to business as usual. And it keeps me on something resembling a schedule for getting to “Just Us Justice Ducks”. Given how many months it’s taken me to get as far as I have covering Tom Lucitor episodes that’s probably a good thing. So with all that settled let’s talk about Negaduck. Negaduck is an interesting one to talk about. It’s one of many episodes, such as the episode directly after it “Fungus Among Us” which I covered right before this one which very obviously takes place earlier in the series continuity but aired way late into the syndicated part of season 1. In this case instead of debuting a major character, it debuts the PROTOTYPE for a major character, in this case Negaduck. It’s fairly obvious to me from this episode what happened: This episode was made as a one off, a fun episode where Drake gets split into two people, a good one and a bad one, and Gosalyn has to take charge to stop him. But the Tronsplit Negaduck was such a delight to write and watch, and i’ll get into the why as we go, that they wanted to make him a regular character, but deciding his origins were a headache to deal with as they’d have to create ANOTHER origin story just to get a copy of Negaduck out of Darkwing’s head, they just decided to say screw it and gave the new version the simplier origin of being an evil mirror universe version of darkwing. Simple, opens up story possibilities, and prevents a headache. To Tad Stones credit though had their been a season 3, he had plans for Darkwing and the Second Negaduck to team up against the first one, so there’s that. So that’s how I assume we ended up with two different Negaducks..  and yes i’m aware the Funkos call him Negatron.. but it’s not a great name, nor the one he actually uses so i’m sticking with Negaduck. Point is we ended up with two and with this one being hte blueprint for the one debuting in Justice Ducks, I thought it’d be fun to use as Negaduck’s episode. 

And since i haven’t covered Megavolt, this one’s for him as well since he’s sitll a large part of the episode, and uttelry charming throughout. So with the setup out of the way, check out what I think of the episode itself under the cut. 

We open with Megavolt doing what he usually does: Rob a bank, this time using his new gizmo the tronspliter which spits something into positive and negative Trons... i’d make some joke about one Tron movie being better than the other but I only MILDLY prefer Legacy, as while both have Jeff Bridges being awesome, Legacy has great visuals, an utterly awesome soundtrack, decent performances and Gem, who i’ll embarrassingly admit to having a crush on because my dignity hasn’t gone into the basement enough over my life. But it’s not quite enough to call the other film outright bad, just not for me. Point is despite the obvious opening I got no tron jokes and I just wasted two minutes of your life so let’s move on. 

But instead of loot Negaduck finds a smoking bag! It’s Darkwing Duck.. in what I consider to be the funniest bit of the episode, and that’s not a knock on the episode as a whole as it’s a really damn funny episode. This bit just killed me. Darkwing coughs through his intro from the bag.. I THOUGHT it might be from dye but it turns out.. HE STILL DID THE WHOLE SMOKE BOMB ENTRANCE THING INSIDE THE BAG... despite no one being able to see it and it only making it harder. Just.. it’s such a simple idea but i’ts so brilliant. It’s why I love this show.. the jokes can be silly, but much like classic Disney or Looney Tunes shorts, especially the latter oddly, it’s rooted in the characters, and that makes it that much richer. It’s why i’m a sitcom guy, as long as the sitcom’s good and you know.. doesn’t plug for a transparent wannabe dictator. I like comedy that’s really rich in the characters and who they are. It’s why I like the Ducktales reboot as it has that in droves. It’s why I like either writing the cast in comedy scenarios or plugging them into other sitcoms for my chat: they just FIT there really naturally. I”m also praising the humor because I’m trying to find a balance between accurately representing how funny an episode is and not just going “a really clever gag” over and over and over. Needless to say, this episode is really damn funny and if I didn’t spotlight a joke, it’s only because i’m trying not to repeat itself. This show has aged well for a reason after all. 

We get another great gag I can’t glance over as Megavolt tries to escape and forgets their on the 97th floor. A fight breaks out, including Ball Bearings, but Darkwing easily trounces Megavolt.. until their guns crash, and it triggers the tronsplitter by accident. The result is our episode’s premise as noted in the intro:Double Darkwings! Both are also finely established with their first lines, with Negaduck, darkwing’s negative emotions, wanting to quit crime fighting for something more profitable, and Posiduck, take a wild guess, wanting to quit it for something safer.  The two halves make their way home just as Gosalyn and Launchpad are horsing around playing baseball with a bowling ball, with the predictable result of smashing “Dad’s favorite statue of himself”... again i’m barely into the episode but it just keeps coming up with bits like that. It reminds me of Simpsons, which given my referencing the series near constantly to an OSW Review level, it’s not a huge surprise, but it has the same rapid fire character based jokes as the Simpsons in it’s prime, which funny enough was around this time. It just keeps coming while keeping a compelling story. It’s good stuff is what i’m saying. Not all comedies can manage that  let alone way back when. 

Naturally both Darkwings have.. diffrent reactions. Posiduck just walks it off, kids will be kids, hippie parents stuff which only makes Gosalyn more paranoid he’s going to do something since DW usually isn’t THIS nice, or gracious about destroying his carefully branded stuff. Negaduck.. wants to outright murder her. Then both show up together...

Gosalyn naturally freaks out and given the sheer number of people that have impersonated her dad, and this is pre the second Negaduck, understandably assumes one’s an imposter. But HILARITY insues when the Muddlefoots show up. And this is the first one i’ve watched since I started rewatching to really involve them: They DO show up in Dry Hard, which i’ll get to, but i’ts mostly for Herb to do what he was born for and piss off Drake. Though while Herb was meant to be the Ned Flanders being his neighbor and everything, the passage of time and my recent binge of Schitt’s Creek has me comparing him more to Roland Schitt from that show: A slob of a man with a nicer, more attractive wife who thinks he’s the lead character’s best friend and insuates himself into his life and buisness with varying levels of obnoxiousness, either being a total jackass without realizing it or trying to help but still.. not exactly helping.  Naturally with that kind of parallel Herb is forcing himself in to watch the Pellican’s Island reunion.. but is it the one where they can’t adjust to life outside the island or the one with it turned into a resort after they returned and the Harlem Globetrotters? Point is normally Drake would be, understandably, pissy, but Posidrake, despite Gosalyn’s understandable attempts to clear the muddlefoots out, is more than accommodating. Negaduck.. upon hearing they were coming went to get his shotgun.. and upon seeing them yells at herb for eating his food again, which granted Posiduck gave it to them but given his track record with drake and the way he just barged into Drake’s house to borrow his TV without asking, I can’t blame him for assuming and when Tank, Honker’s brother and little asshole, tries hitting him over it, Negaduck threatens him. Are.. are we sure he’s the bad one? I mean he’s not wrong. Wanting to actually murder them and not just think about it is, but wanting them out of his house isn’t. Gosalyn however shoos him away and gives the Muddlefoots their tv.. they can get a new one but Drake can’t beat murder charges. She does keep Honker, her best friend and local nerd to help since she’s an 11 year old and a launchpad trying to keep Negaduck from killing Posiduck. They sucessfully tie up Negaduck and Posiduck, being a pushover, ties himself up. 

Honker, after examining both’s feather’s under the microscope, concludes what we already knew: Neither of them is fake, their simply positive and negative.. in the DWD universe, Poistrons are good particles and someone’s good half and the Negatrons are someone’s bad half. It’s even taught in school as Gos knows it. After some banter, Gos remembers Posiduck mentioing the tronsplitter and they figure they can be reunited. Naturally, Negaduck does not want that, and due to Goslayn getting a case of the stupids and not being able to tell them apart, despite Negaduck having some big angry eyebrows that make it obvious, frees him and he cons them into a closet and baricades it, sets his other self up for a dynamite filled death trap and runs off to raise some hell. Thankfully Posidrake ends up coliding with the barricade Negaduck put up, and while singed, is still alive because .. split in two or not i’ts still darkwing and Gosalyn drags him along with her and Launchpad to find Megavolt. 

I”m, ironically split a bit on the split darkwings. On one hand, the two don’t really evenly represent drake as neither really act like him, with the most Negduck does is clearly acting out Drake’s darkest impulses he usually mutters under his breath. On the other.. i’m willing to ignore that because it’s just too funny, with Negaduck being hilariously violent, again his recation to the muddle foots is “i’m getting my shotgun”. Not only am I awed a tv show could actually use that as a gag at one time and miss those times, it’s just so hilariously over hte top. That and I love that canocially, drake just had a shotgun lying around, which while making sense given he dosen’t have batman’s gun aversion and likely only uses gas because he’s not a murderer and this is a kids show, is still just a neat fact. The fact it’s not Darkwing branded is a genuine suprise, but it’s just as likely Negaduck couldn’t find that one. 

Negaduck hits up a theater to .. be obnoxious in a REALLY great scene, which I used for my screencap. While Negaduck’s final form is iconic, and we’ll get to it, I went with this simply because that shit eating grim is classic.. we also get Negaduck running into the screen to chase bunnies with a shot gun. Really this is the scene that i’m sure convinced them to find some way to bring this character back. Jim’s delivery, the petty dickey of Negaduck’s villiany here as he literally just drives into a movie theater and ruins everyone’s day for the hell of it, as well as assaults some rabbits with a shot gun.. i’ts just magic and it’s no wonder they’d retool the character to bring him back, nor that they’d put that refined version first. Jim Cummings is good at a LOT of things voice acting wise, there’s a reason he is a legend, but he’s especially good at playing a dickish, comedic villain who revels in being evil. While I didn’t really think about Negaduck at the time, he’d end up taking a LOT of the characters energy with him when he played Lord Boxman on OK K.O.! years down the line and if you haven’t checked it out and like Jim, do. It’s an amazing show. Point is cummings is amazing at this and I can see why they brought the character back. While Posiduck is fun, he’d probably wear his welcome out with more than one episode, while Negaduck had endless potetial and they used it. 

But once he’s done Cape Fearing, Negsy runs into Posi.. and uses him as a scapegoat for the angry mom after him, giving Negsy time to find Megavolt first while Posiduck gets positively pummeled despite Gosalyn and Launchpad’s best efforts.  Negsy finds Megavolt at the Dead End, a bad guy bar on the edge of town where Megavolt is drowning his sorrows.. by plugging a car battery directly into his socket. It’s just a fun visual gag and fit’s his personality and powers. Naturally Negaduck calls him out, and then wipes the floor with him but Megavolt is more than happy to help him once he finds out Negaduck was created by the tronsplitter, jubiantley yelling son and hugging him.. a great gag. Honestly I now see why Megavolt was one of the most popular and used villians in the Rogue’s gallery: he has a great gimmick, great powers, defined limits so unlike poor Liquidator he’s easier to work with, and  Dan Castellaneta really brings his a game here with a unique voice i’ve never heard used on the simpsons.. sorta like crusty but mixed with Bobcat Goldwait. It’s really good.  So while Father and Son bond and head to Megavolt’s place, Team Darkwing heads into the bar, where Gosalyn runs interference for both Darkwing and Launchpad whose just kinda.. there this episode. He really didn’t need to be here and feels like he only is because someone needs to drive the Ratcatcher.  Don’t get me wrong I love the guy, I just don’t get why he’s in this one especially since this is the first one since the pilot i’ve watched to really focus on Gosalyn. While she IS in Tiff of the Titans, it’s mostly in a supporting role. Here she really gets to strut her stuff and show why she’s awesome, intimidating men 4 times her age and size and getting the info they need.  At Megavolt’s, Negaduck continues his plan to just smash the thing but Megavolt doesn’t want one of his kids killing the other and yanks it .. and accidently shoots Negaduck with it while it’s on the merge setting. The result instead galvinaizes him giving him godlike destructive power. How the does this work in any way shape or form?

Negaduck, now above crime, goes to destroy the world with his dad disowning him while Team Darkwing Shows up. Megavolt agrees to help, and his reasons are both funny and work: If Negaduck destroys the city, where will he rob? Also of note is Negaducks new look, looking like a photo negative. There’s a reason besides Laziness it was brought back for the Funko Pops as a recolor, and that reason is DAMN it looks awesome. I get the switch to the easier to use Yellow and Black, but damn if this isn’t cool. 

Gosalyn cleverly gets the two grouped together by saying Negaduck’s abotu to step on a bug, but Negaduck swats Posiduck aside.. however since Posiduck is also made of ions or whatever nonsense this episode is running on that i’m just going with at this point because it’s entertaining and this review’s almost done. Point is we get a glorious sequence as Posiduck basically becomes a disney princess, summoning animals, moralizing that sort of thing. But unlike Gizmoduck this parody over overly sachrine heroes works, partly because it’s clearly amped up to 80 degrees. The two breifly fight before Posiduck holds his counterpart long enough to recombine them. Megavolt, naturally tries to betray everyone and has a zoom lense ready but Gosalyn beats him. Darkwing is restored, helpfully confirmed by his egotisim and Gosalyn hugs her dad despite him docking her allowance.. though i’m sure he reversed that once all was settled. Here’s hoping. Point is we have a happy ending. 

Final Thoughts:  This.. was easily my favorite of the ones i’ve rewatched so far which, along with the ones reviewed already, includes Beauty and the Beat and Dry Hard, which I’ll get to eventually. It’s got a clever concept that while used before in cartoons certainly is mostly used for parody here, gave us the blueprint for a great villain, and in general is just fun. Also as I didn’t realize earlier in this review this episode apparently AIRED earlier, but was put later in syndication because I don’t know. But this one’s a classic and an easy recommend to go to right after your done with the pilot. It’s fun, fast paced, and just packed with great jokes with only so many I could mention here. If you want this show at it’s finest, this is it. It was also a great introduction to Megavolt whose a great villain and I can’t wait to see him in action again. Overall a truly excellent episode and it was a joy to watch.  Until next time, Courage. 

[doomedandstoned]

OLDD WVRMS REVEAL ALL

~By Billy Goate~

OLDD WVRMS. It feels like they've been eating away at my flesh and swimming in my bloodstream for a very long time, so much so that I forget to talk about how they've infected me. I was halfway through a review of their last effort when life swept me away to other places, then it was already time for a new release from the Belgian band. No, scratch that -- two new releases!

This month, the doomed instrumentalists revealed a split with Liège devotional math-prog threesome Ilydaen, just months after the release of the February five-tracker 'Codex Tenebris' (2019 - Cursed Monk Records). That's now two long-plays, two extended-plays, a compilation album, and the aforementioned split to the band's name.

The Wave & The Swell ( Split LP ) by Ilydaen & Oldd Wvrms

OLDD WVRMS is a band that seems continually tinkering and experimenting. I mean, you really have to if you're going to cross the coveted five-year mark as a band, a milestone that seems to be key long-term viability. "There is the beautiful, spacious atmosphere of Agalloch," I wrote of their last record 'Ignobilis' (2016). "All this is good news if you long for the cold, crisp air of winter, forests filled with unspeakable darkness, whispering tales of bravery, misunderstanding, and tragedy. The emotion is especially palpable and will haunt my memory for quite some time."

Ignobilis by OLDD WVRMS

I also noted at the time that Ignobilis represented "a massive turn to clean singing over previous releases." In contrast, Codex Tenebris is a reconnects with works like 'Mater Serpentium' (2015) and NØT (2015), which are also sans voix. Stylistically, you’ll find OLDD WVRMS painting from a similar tonal palate as Enslaved, even dabbling in the technical terrain of Psycroptic, though in much slower compositions.

Codex Tenebris by OLDD WVRMS

OLDD WVRMS occupies the space between shadows, where slow, patient, penetrating riffs dwell and dark words are uttered. "La vallée des tombes" is one of the gems of the record, striking a strange balance between meditative bleakness and pounding discord. I’ve long been a fan of dissonant harmonies since I realized it was “okay” to play them as a pianist delving into the oeuvre of Franz Liszt and Alexander Scriabin. Like those composers, OLDD WVRMS utilizes dissonance no merely to jar the listener, but as a critical tactic for establishing bleak moods and a sense of the sinister. Codex Tenebris is available on Cursed Monk Records right here.

On the eve of their music video, "A l'or, aux ombres et aux abîmes," Doomed & Stoned visited with ØW guitarist and OLDD WVRMS founder Ben in hopes of getting to know this fairly low-key and mysterious doom metal trio -- rounded out by Oli and Cho on bass and drums -- just a hair or two better.

What is the meaning of the band’s name OLDD WVRMS? Is their significance to the unique spelling of your name?

It’s old Germanic to "Old Worms." There’s no particular meaning, although I’m a fan of the Dark Souls saga and it could be a reference to the primordial snakes.

I'm curious how your individual paths through life brought you three together?

We’re all from the French side of Belgium, down south. Cho and Oli have known each other for almost two decades. I was searching for bandmates to put up this new project and they were the perfect match. We all played in many bands before ØW, nothing worth naming.

There’re no guidelines. The music serves your imagination.

Why does instrumental doom appeal to you guys so much?

We tried several singers, with expectations they couldn’t achieve. It wasn’t bad, but we felt locked in restricted areas -- musically speaking, I mean. I took the mic on our previous release Ignobilis, singing just a bit, and even at that point we had the feeling that it wasn’t necessary at all, so we started writing the new album with a fully instrumental approach.

Rare is the band that can make instrumental metal stand convincingly on its own “two feet,” but OLDD WVRMS has done it. What would you say is the secret to pulling this style off successfully?

Thank you. Honestly, it’s hard to say. I guess it’s because we don’t hesitate too long on what’s good or not during the creation process. This and the fact that we blend a lot of influences from various horizons, seems to create something spontaneous. I think that’s what people like about ØW.

What instruments, amps, and gear do you find most useful in bringing your vision to life?

Cho’s setup is pretty straightforward: his beautiful DW kit with aggressive and shining cymbals -- and a ferocious need to beat the shit out of it!

Oli is using an Ampeg SVT 3 pro, SWR Goliath and Megoliath cabs with a Fender Aerodyne, plugged into a pedalboard loaded with many effects, drives, octaver, delays, reverbs, etcetera, to achieve the drones parts.

I use a Marshall JCM 800 over modified by Ruthenberg, Marshall and Orange cabs, custom guitars by Denzo Custom Guitars, and a pedalboard loaded with overdrives, delays, and reverbs.

We record in my own studio, The Pale Flame, using the exact same rig live and studio.

I don’t read French, but I’m guessing the song titles are quite important in this selection of five tracks. Can you translate them to English and tell us what you intended to express with each song? Are they meant to stand independently or are they united by a concept?

Basically, all the songs originally had lyrics -- and yes, they’re all linked, almost as a soundtrack. The atmosphere we wanted to translate through the songs titles were way more powerful in French, with a little something more poetic and dramatic.

The only concept about Codex Tenebris is the presence and absence of light and obscurity. The idea that the audience is not guided by lyrics and can travel between the songs with their own imagination and create their own stories while listening to our music is extremely satisfying. There’re no guidelines. The music serves your imagination.

So, the first track "Ténèbres" means "Darkness." It starts the record in a cold, dark place, and song expresses loneliness and fear.

Second track, "A l’or, aux ombres et aux abîmes," means "To gold, to shades, and to the abysses." It’s my personal favorite, all about deception, anger, and melancholy.

The third one is "misère & Corde," literally "Misery & Rope" -- a song about grief and loss.

Next one, "La vallée des tombes" or "The valley of tombs," is a psychoactive and hypnotic song about terror and despair.

"Fléau est son âme" is hard to translate, but it would be something like "scourged is his soul." It is about letting things go, acceptance, and abnegation.

We briefly corresponded about your EP a few years ago, when I emailed you about a sample you’d selected for the final track. I heard another sample in the final track of the latest LP that intrigued me.

It’s an Egyptian monologue taken from the movie Angel of Mossad, and it’s in correlation with "Fléau est son âme." It’s the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. The narration is beautiful.

What's the area of Belgium like where you OLDD WVRMS calls home?

We all live in villages -- small villages. Everything is very quiet and calm. Nothing ever happens. (laughs) Sorry, there’s just nothing much to say about it.

No worries! I've lived in my share of small towns, too, so I get it. What are some of the bands that you play with in your heavy music scene?

We shared the stage with badass bands like Hangman’s Chair, Primitive Man, -16-, Jucifer, the body, Grime, Ortega, and more -- hopefully many more to come.

When you look into your crystal ball, do you envision yourself touring?

Yeah, we’d love to. Like everyone else, we have jobs and families, but touring once or twice a year during a few choice weeks would be awesome. Only time will tell if this will happens.

Finally, what would your ideal live performance look like, if you could spare no expense?

Small venues, crowed, with our light man Chouffe and a good sound engineer. You know, keep things simple.

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[professional-anti]

Chapter Eight: Weapon of Choice

Heyyyyy!! Sorry, life has been cray, and it’s never gonna change, unfortunately. But guys, dw, I am dedicated. Also, weirdly, doing this has made me appreciate books even more? It’s so much fun to talk abt books, and I learn so much, even if it’s a book I hate. Okay, getting started (pray for me):

We last left off with Clary jumping thru the surprise door, like one does. Jace lands on top of her, yay, OTP moment, gag me. There’s a nice little detail where “Clary coughed hair (not her own) out of her mouth” which kind of captures the chaos and would be cute if it were an actual good ship. I hate when that happens. Jace criticizes Clary, FINALLY for a valid reason.

It turns out they’re at Luke’s house. Oh, classic, he lives in Williamsburg, the gentrified hipster paradise. Where else would a man who wears flannel live? Even more classic, he lives behind a bookstore. Clare is obviously one of those heavy-handed authors who has exactly two professions for her Intellectual Men™: bookseller and evil Giles.

I’m going to shake Clary. She doesn’t know why they’re here, despite having thought “I want to go where my mom would have gone” right before jumping. Like, bitch??? Do you have a brain? I’m cryingfff

Clary decides she wants to leave, even though there’s cleary something super sketch abt Luke. He’s so obviously protecting her, so he must know something, right? Well, Clary rubs her two brain cells together and decides, nope, nothing to see here! Time to go home!

Jace, being reasonable for once, is like, yo, maybe we should stay. They run into Simon, so you know there’s gonna be Dramaz. Jace and Simon apparently devolve into primordial wild dogs driven by the intense urge to fight for the girl dog so they can screw and produce puppies that are as annoying as they are. Here is what everyone is doing:

Clary is fixing Simon’s hair bc she’s a Woman Simon is pushing Clary’s hand away bc he’s Annoyed Jace is using his stele to file his nail bc he’s Not Paying Attention

There’s some horrible forced tension between Simon and Clary, where he’s all, “Clary, you ran away from me, I thought I and my dick upset you,” and Clary’s all, “Never, Simon, I love you,” and Simon cums. Not actually, instead he slut shames Clary:

“Yeah, well, you clearly also couldn’t be bothered to call me and tell me you were shacking up with some dyed-blond wanna-be goth you probably met at Pandemomonium”

On the one hand, draaaaag him, Simon!! Jace IS a peroxide blond who listens Evanescence (I almost wrote MCR before googling it and learning that if I wrote that, about a million punks would stream into my inbox in tears).

Simon’s eyes are “dark with suspicion”. which is just annoying. Yes, I would be so fucking annoyed if my friend ran out on me and then disappeared and then reappeared with a blond guy. But I’d also do some more questioning of the situation. Is she okay? Why is she with such a rude guy? Is he hurting her? Was she kidnapped? Is she being held against her will? Is this a drug thing? Does she need my help? Why did Luke cover for her? Is something deeper going on? Instead Simon is all possessive Nice Guy.

Apparently Simon spied on Luke packing a duffel bag of weapons. So he couldn’t give Clary any benefit of the doubt? It sounds like her family is caught in a bad situation! Maybe she had to hide for her life! Simon, use your brain!!

kajlkfaklsdjfalksdflk Clary tells Simon everything, and Simon asks if they kill all these different magical creatures, and Jace says ONLY WHEN THEY’VE BEEN NAUGHTY a;dlfjals;kdjfl;asdjfl;aksdjf hahahahahahahah This image that Clare is going for is just sooooo overdrawn. This dialogue, omfg.

Simon loses his mind and excitedly compares everything that’s been going on to D&D. Let’s totally forget abt the fact that Clary’s mom is missing, or that Luke just filled a duffel bags with murder sticks, shall we?

Jace and Simon have a bizarre conversation, and then they walk. In. The. Back. Door. Bc Luke doesn’t lock his back door. Bc that’s totally not something that someone who fills a duffel bag with weapons would do. At least the door to the bookstore is locked, though Jace opens it pretty easily with his stele. Why didn’t Luke have Jocelyn fix up some wards or something?

Simon asks Clary how she stands Jace, and she’s like “he saved me life” and he’s like “huh?” even though she told him everything that happened. Why is Simon so dumb. I guess all his blood is in his dick? Wouldn’t surprise me.

They find manacles in the wall, so either Luke and Jocelyn have (even more) hidden depths, or Luke practices

Luke’s apartment is filled with books. Of course. Look, I love books. I have about 500 in my room at this moment. I buy them constantly, I get from the libarary, I read and read and read. I think most of us on booklr do. But when every single Good Character in your book has books, it’s boring. And no one has unique book taste. What if all of Luke’s books were nature books? Jack London? Travel guides? That would paint a picture. Instead he has a bunch of fantasy and other fiction. That’s boring. I learn nothing, bc every goddamn person in this goddamn book reads fantasy. It’s so fucking generic. I totally approve of “good” characters admiring and liking reading bc that’s how you get ideas, and that’s how Lemony Snicket rolls, but there are more books than fantasy and mystery (the other main type that Lucas has) in the world. Justice Strauss has an inexhaustive library. Uncle Monty has all those books about snakes. Lucky Smells just has that one history of Lucky Smells. Already, you know so much abt each person (and place) by what books they have. We learn nothing about Luke.

Clary finds the overnight bag she leaves at Luke’s and changes clothes. I mention this only bc she puts on “a blue tank top with a design of Chinese characters across the front” bc of COURSE she is That Bitch. I hope it translates to something like “Radishes” or “Bridge”.

Luke’s bedroom has a shelf of “Indian statues and Russian icons” which, idk, makes me a little uncomfortable. These sound like things that are holy to someone. But I think the worst part is that Clary says, “Luke collects stuff. Art objects. You know … Pretty things.” I just googled it, and Hindu statues, like the one Luke has of Kali, are seen as actual avatars of gods. Clary is diminishing someone’s god to a “pretty thing”. It’s not a nick-nack or a trinket. (If you know more abt this, like if I’m wildly off-base, feel free to send me an ask!)

Jace finds the Metaphor known as a smashed picture of Luke, Jocie, and Clary, which Clary threw at the Ravener in her apartment, so realize that Luke went back through the apartment. Jace says that Luke must have gone through the Portal-potty last, so it brought them here. I’m still team Clary Asked to Go Where Her Mother Would Have Gone and Therefore the Portal did What it Was Supposed to Do and Brought Her Where She Wanted.

Luke and some warlocks show up, so Clary and co. hide behind the super convenient silk screen. Jace uses his sonic stele to make the screen transparent and we get this gem:

Jace shook his head at them both, mouthing words: They can’t see us through it, but we can see them.

Bc mouthing works that well. You don’t mouth compound sentences!! You mouth something simple like they can’t see us. Simon and Clary already know they can see Luke and the warlocks bc they’re looking at them right now! And this spell or whatever that Jace did takes the tension in the scene waaaaaay down. If they can’t see Luke, then everything becomes more tense. Are the voices getting closer to the screen? Is somebody about to reveal them? Instead, all the tension is drained in a dumb quick-fix.

Bc Clare thinks we’re stupid, she adds “It was frightening even though [Clary] knew [Luke] couldn’t see her, that the window Jace had made was like the glass in a police station interrogation room: strictly one-way.”

GD ARE YOU THERE??????? STOP THIS.

Jace realizes that the warlocks are actually Shadowhunters dressed as warlocks. Idk how he can tell, but whatever. He conveys this by whispering, so I don’t know what the mouthing nonsense was earlier.

The Shadowhunters are named Blackwell (redhead) and Pangborn (gray mustache). What sorts of names. It’s like Clare used a fantasy-name-generator. Who are we kidding, that’s totally what she did. Pangborn picks up the Kali statue and this conversation happens:

“Ah,” said Pangborn, taking the statue from his companion. “She who was created to battle a demon who could not be killed by any god or man. ‘Oh, Kali, my mother full of bliss! Enchantress of the almighty Shiva, in they delirious joy thou dancest, clapping thy hands together. Thou art the Mover of all that moves, and we are but thy helpless toys.’” “Very nice,” said Luke. “I didn’t know you were a student of the Indian myths.” “All the stories are true,” said Pangborn, and Clary felt a small shiver go up her spine. “Or have you forgotten even that?” “I forget nothing,” said Luke.

So the Shadowhunter mythology is that all religions are true? Inch resting. I vaguely remember this. Idk how I feel about this. The Shadowhunters are still gonna be super Christian no matter what lip-service Clare pays to other religions. She has angels! And demons! She’s trying to be inclusive, but it’s never really gonna work, bc she’s doing it in name only. But at the same time, I wouldn’t want her to mess with any religion but Christianity or, sigh, Judaism. Christianity bc it’s the dominant religion and can’t be marginalized (different denominations can be, but not Christianity as a whole) and Judaism bc she’s Jewish. There’s not very much Jewish in these books, though. Yeah, there are angels in Judaism, but it’s not really the Jewish Vibe. A book influenced by Judaism would have a lot of magic based on specific wording, and arguments, and Hebrew and Hebrew-derived languages. This book uses Latin and is into angels. It’s Christian-influenced, which is fine, I guess, but the lip-service to other religions doesn’t ring true. But also, saying “Christianity is the one religion!” is super upsetting and she shouldn’t do that. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, I’m literally thinking on the page. Do you guys have any thoughts on this? Please hit up my ask box or talk about this in the notes! This discussion really interests me, and I want to get diverse opinions.

Luke asks if Valentine sent them (he did) and if their clothes “are official Accord robes” “from the Uprising?” (they are). Wow. The Uprising. What a descriptive name! We don’t call things “the Uprising” in real life. It’s more like, “The French Revolution.” “The Cultural Revolution.” “The Revolutionary War.” “The Civil War.” Am I being unfair?” I guess someone right after one of the French Revolutions might just say “the Revolution.” But something about The Uprising is so boring. And aren’t there more than one Uprising? There should be. The Warlock Uprising. The Vampire Uprising. It doesn’t have to be all internal. Any organized group would rise against the Clave. The Clave is legit the worst.

It turns out Luke’s real name is Lucian AND. I. AM. DYING. Luke is Lucius Malfoy, confirmed!! Let’s do a list of what we know so far:

Clary: Ginny Jace: Draco Jocelyn: I’m getting Bellatrix vibes? Bc of the whole in-love-with Voldemort thing? Valentine: I don’t know?? I can’t think of who he could be??? We’ll have to leave this blank for now I guess :/ Hodge: Giles. Not a HP character, but this is a crossover event with Buffy. Isabelle: Pansy Parkinson Alec: I actually don’t know here. He’s the GBF. Simon: Does Harry make sense? They’re both boring nice guys (don’t @ me!)

This game is getting boring, let’s move on. Luke apparently used to fight with B and P, so we know he’s a Shadowhunter (or, if you’ve read this book before, you know he used to be one). Then he tells them he doesn’t know where the Mortal Cup is (they think Jocelyn hid it).

CLARY IS SO FUCKING DUMB OMFG. P and B talk about how Jocelyn hasn’t regained consciousness and Valentine wants to see her again (using her name) and Clary goes:

Jocelyn? Can they be talking about my mother?

NO THE OTHER FUCKING JOCELYN. CLARY HOW RU STILL ALIVE.

CC must think her readers are really dumb and can’t figure anything out on their own:

“I’ve never felt any way about [Jocelyn], particularly,” said Luke. “Two Shadowhunters, exiled from their own kind, you can see why we might have banded together. But I’m not going to try to interfere with Valentine’s plans for her, if that’s what he’s worried about.”

He might as well have said, “Jocelyn and I were both exiled. EXILED. We were exiled. We were exiled as fuck. Do you get it? Reading context clues is hard, so I’m saying WE WERE EXILED.” The quasi-warlocks should have responded like, “Yeah? We know you both were exiled? We were there?”

Blackwell refers to Jocelyn as “that bitch” bc institutionalized mysoginy is the absolute best! I love when vicious sexism is included for no reason! Bc also these guys aren’t any worse than Luke! Bc may I remind you that Luke was basically a supremacist! Just like them!

For some reason, these idiots believe Lucius when he tells them that he’s not close with Jocie. Then please explain why you both live in Brooklyn.

P and B threaten to make Luke stay in the city, and Luke threatens them, and somehow they let this happen? In other news, Clary is still dumb as rocks. She’s super hurt that Luke said that he doesn’t care about Jocie bc she has about 0 critical thinking skills. We’re talking none. She could have someone whispering the answers in her ear and still bomb the SAT.

Jace thinks that P and B think Luke “knows more than he’s telling” so why would they let him go???? Then Jace reveals that P and B murdered his dad, and this chapter is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone bring me a Bloody Mary. It’s how I feel inside.

[whale-shark-queen]

You mentioned fucked up weird AUs in your one post? I'm interested. Tell me about your favourite one(s)!!

AAAaaaah thank you so much!!

Uhhhhhhh heck most of them involve N turning into some horrible Thing because he’s the Estranged Outsider with a Connection to the Bad Guys Even If It’s Not Willingly (yknow like how Eren from snk is a titan shifter or Rin from blue exorcist is part demon) and all of them involve vuvuzelashipping (Nxall the Nuvema lot) I don’t really have a single favourite but I’ll summarize the ones I like most (also note that some of them are good dad Ghetsis/Dadsis aus because u gotta balance out the angst somehow plus dadsis aus are Cool)

Under the cut because I literally can’t summarise for shit and I’m sure no one wants to scroll past 3 pages worth of this (mobile users I apologise since the app is SHIT and refuses to even acknowledge these) 

Also here’s a bit of an index so u can skip to ones that sound interesting instead of going through them all but first u should ask nationalharmonica about her aus bc I love all of hers and they’re awesome and need more love and she also helped with alot of these aus too!! ESPECIALLY the Dragonflower au which I won’t include here because I think she has it on her blog somewhere already.  If ur wondering why I haven’t posted any of these it’s because a) i have neither the skill, time or patience to draw up proper references for all of the characters involved and b) I’m always worried theyll seem too Out There for some people but here we go au masterpost i guess, if anyone reading would like more info feel free to ask!!!

Bacterial Contamination inspired au aka bacterial pestileNce

BotW au

Ib au

PMMM au (the longest one)

Plasma/Aether swapover, N wins+UB monochromeshipping au

Simple fNaf dadsis au

sister locatioN dicksis au (yes I have two for that because I only found out about the secret springtrap cutscene at the end of SL that changes everything the other day)

Nombie (dadsis) au

isolatioN au- Au based on the song Bacterial Contamination.  N goes to the snobbiest most pretentious school you can imagine only because his ex mafia boss dad wants the best for him.  N hides the fact he’s being relentlessly bullied until a teacher phones Ghetsis up asking why N is in such a state whenever he comes into school (BC bruises and cuts and looking roughed up in general).  N goes to therapy and gets meds but surprise they’re an experimental drug and he’s a bug boy now

- BotW au where Touya is Link, Cheren as Revali, Bianca is Mipha and Touko is Zelda.  Ghetsis (who is kinda like Demise if he hung around to make sure his curse worked) is the king of a neighboring region who’s a bit of a warmongering asshole but his son N is friends with princess Touko and her…ahem, associates, which is the only reason Touko’s dad stays civil with him at all.  He uses this to his advantage and infects N with the Malice and reveals his plan to take over Unova, knowing fine well that N would run away to Touko for help.  The truth is he’d set up N to be a ticking time bomb and eventually he becomes the Calamity.  After the whole ~100 year coma and releasing the divine beasts~ thing Touya only remembers who N is after killing him but dw there’s a blood moon just as Touko is sealing the Malice away and N’s freed spirit is brought back to become a friendly giant fluffy spider boy just because I said so

- Ib au with N as Mary (obv Ghetsis is Guertena) except instead of going crazy and trying to kill everyone and being burned up and dying himself the toutous make him sit in the frame while they drag it out of the portal to the real world: problem solved.  I have all this stuff about the others being able to step into his frame but he can’t leave unless someone else draws him so he can possess the drawing but I won’t go into it here BC this post is gonna be long enough already

-Okay I have two madoka aus because possibilities for N are Ndless but I’ve only really developed the dicksis version whereas I only have a witch design for a possible dadsis version so here’s the dicksis one.  The first: Ghetsis is kinda like Walpurgisnacht and N was originally a familiar that represented Ghetsis’ interest being only in things that directly oppose him who was becoming powerful enough to become a witch of his own.  Not wanting him to have even a fraction of power himself Ghetsis transformed him into a human shape, gave him sentience and intelligence and as close to a pure heart as possible so he would be easier to manipulate and led him to believe that magical girls/boys hunt down innocent witches for fun and have witches trapped in their soul gems and tasks N with stealing people’s soul gems to ‘free the witch inside’.  The problem is that the alteration gave N the mindset of ‘innocents who aren’t involved must be protected at all costs’ rather than Ghetsis’ mindset of ‘don’t give a fuck about anyone unless they’re a problem’.  N is also sent to integrate into human society so that he can find magical peepos easier so he ends up coincidentally going to school with the Nuvema kiddos.  He ends up becoming friends with them until he finds out Cheren and Bianca are magicas (I’m just gonna call them that for simplicity) but even though the toutous arent magicas they still support them which is all very upsetting and conflicting for N but he tries his best to protect the witches and steal more soul gems until the others eventually call him out on it and prove to him that the shit Ghetsis told him is bull.  When he goes to confront him about it it’s too late, Ghetsis has absorbed enough witches to become a Walpurgisnacht-like entity, and finally allows N to become a witch.  I’ll link the drawings I’ve done of him but basically his labyrinth would be like a puppet theater and even tho hes the witch he’d have this fuckin giant messed up ghetsis-lookin puppet master familiar who pulls at his strings and coordinates his attacks.  There’d be an audience of masked figures that look like all the magicas he’s caused the deaths of, tiny animals with scissors to represent his wish for freedom and also his fear of his ‘father’ since they never actually get to cut the strings holding him up, and figures that look a heck of a lot like the nuvema kiddos watching in a balcony.  This is all tied into a theory I came up with that almost all the witches are able to be saved since yknow how Homura had that figure of Madoka locked away and Madoka was able to bring her back, and how Sayaka had the violin guy and Charlotte had that doll that probably represents her dead mother? My guess is that if the people those figures represent are brought to the witch and reach out to them the magical girl inside would be able to be freed.  But yeah since N was never really a human the Nuvema kiddos can only really save a fraction of his conscious and he ends up like Bebe.  They all beat the shit out of Ghetsis and everyone lives happily ever after with their pocket witch bf

- the au where 1) plasma and aether are sort of swapped around and 2) N beats the toutous in the final battle.  This is actually based on nationalharmonica’s courtesaN au which is awesome BTW (but it doesn’t involve actual courtesans or N being a courtesan at all but its Sarah’s au so if you’re interested you should totally ask her about it).  Ghetsis keeps Touko and Touya prisoner and just to rub it in their faces blackmails Cheren and Bianca into joining and doing sciency experiment shit which ends up with Touko and Touya becoming UB fusions/hybrids themselves; Touya with Kartana and Touko with Celesteela.  Ofc in the later stages they are able to destroy their place of confinement and escape with Cheren and Bianca to find N who becomes understandably fucked off and upset that his friends have been put through all this shit but begs them not  to kill Ghetsis so he can ask what’s going on.  When he does Ghetsis stabs him with a syringe full of UB fusion shit because he knows fine well hes gonna die he just wanted a final ‘fuck you’ before he is killed by both fire and paper cuts.  Surprise! It’s a Guzzlord.  N becomes a big squishy boy. I’ve done drawings of N in human Guzzlord fusion/hybrid form but I’ve been afraid of posting it but uh if anyones interested i will

- Simplified fNaf dadsis au - basically N and the Nuvema kiddos are the ones that were killed and stuffed in the animatronics, Ghetsis owns the place but risks going bankrupt pouring money into helping find the culprit and also his son and his friends when they’ve been stuck in the one restaurant he kept open to stay afloat.  Nate is the new nightguard and they decide to fuck with him to get rid of some of the boredom of being alone together in the one building for like…30 years or so.  In the end they fess up and make Nate pizza as an apology and they’re chill again

- sister locatioN dicksis au - I already summarised a thing i wrote of it in response to an anon but I’ll include here too.  Once again Ghetsis owns all the shit with the animatronics.  Anthea and Concordia get killed by one of them when they were young so years later Ghetsis sends N down to ‘free’ them (surprise he only wanted to get rid of N) but since their spirits have been fused into one hideous amalgamation of animatronics they’ve gone a bit loopy and want to leave.  The whole scooping room thing ensues and they accidentally turn their brother into a zombie

- Nombie au bc Z is a sideways N heheh I ahven’t thought up much of the background for it but it involves Plasma being a pharmaceutical company that is sort of accidentally being the cause of it.  N gets separated from his dad who ends up being the leader of a large group of people in a little town sort of thing they were able to reclaim but is Sad bc he thinks his son is dead which ends up being half true bc surprise N is half immune and ends up being a conscious zombie boy who wears a curtain as a cloak so he doesnt immediately frighten people bc he got his eye shot out by hillbilies, his face scratched up, his throat bitten out and his heart impaled on a pole (hes a freak without a human heart geddit) zombie apocalypse stuff happens

- isolatioN au - basically spawned from the thought of ’what if N was kept even more hidden away/locked up/never even left at all’.  Plasma is instead secretly in the Pokemon poaching/hunting/selling business but are disguised as…well you already know about Plasma.  The nuvema kiddos had varying levels of rough childhood and were desperate for money so they all joined up; the toutous as night guards and the dualrival s as researchers.  Hidden deep in the facility is a certain tree haired manchild who has been kept in a cage for pretty much his entire life.  Ghetsis does a mother gothel and makes out its to keep him safe and brings him Pokemon to ask about where they live and what other kinds of Pokemon live there so that Ghetsis can release them safely back into the wild go hunt for more Pokemon in the area if there’s anything good there

There’s a few more that I have but I won’t include them because im worried it’d be a waste of time if no one takes interest in any of these but uh thanks for asking and reading if you did!!!