#but emily was in LOVE with tsia

[maschotch]

pining emily..

[lilydvoratrelundar]

Jane Doe's backup dancing skills <3

[flaminghotjareau]

are you normal or do you often think about how the only time emily got sick at a crime scene was when she saw tsia's dead body

[beware-of-you-98]

Whenever I mention emily and jj’s tattoos in writing, I feel like I’m in no way consistent with how I describe them but here’s a more coherent idea of what I believe they are, where they are, and what they represent:

They both have 2

They both have a cover up

They both have a simple tattoo

JJ’s are both colored

Emily’s are both nearly black and white

Emily

Emily’s tattoos both represent her survival from ian doyle

The first one is a small one, right on the inside of her right hip near her pelvis

Tsia went with her to get it done in a gritty alleyway studio in the middle of Amsterdam

It’s a simple calligraphy piece that says “marthanóir” roughly translating as “survivor” in Irish

her second tattoo is smack dab in the middle of her chest on her sternum: the blackbird

The bird is poised in mid-flight, poised with both wings spread wide and flanking its body. The tail feathers are spread out and nearly tuck under her breasts

The piece is in full black and white

Except the tiny orange butterfly perched over the bird’s left shoulder that represents the people she lost (it mainly represents tsia, a love lost)

JJ

JJ’s tattoos have different meanings

One is for Ros

The other represents her rising from the ashes in the aftermath of her abduction and torture

She got her first one her freshman year of college

It was given to her by her roommate/gf at the time

It’s a simple gold ribbon on the side of her left ring finger

Her second one is a massive orange and yellow phoenix (this is one I constantly change I feel but hold on)

This one is MASSIVE

It starts at the top of her left thigh, the tail feathers spread out to cover as far as towards her stomach and her lower back

The main body of the bird is tattooed up her ribcage, the flamed wings outspread to her sternum and to her spine

The long, flamed tail feathers of the bird are what cover up her burn scar, the texture blending in

The eyes are the same color as her boys’ birthstones

One eye is opalescent

The other eye is honey colored

[blakeprentiss]

Lauren

emily prentiss centric, mentions of emily/ian

warnings: cm typical violence (lauren arc), suicide, heavy angst

a/n: i posted this on ao3 like 3 years ago so im uploading it here

(my gif) / (read on ao3)

lauren reynolds.

that was her name. nothing else. her past didn’t matter anymore. she had to live second by second, minute by minute. that was the only way she would survive.

sitting in that dimly lit dive bar on the outskirts of boston, that was the only thought running through her mind. lauren reynolds, lauren reynolds, lauren reynolds.

and as the stranger she would grow to know over the next few months sat across from her, she knew who she was. who she would become.

he was charming, a flirt. anyone looking in from the outside would see them as a perfect match, but not to her. she would have to ultimately flirt back, get him to trust her, but there would be nothing serious. that wasn’t part of the plan.

as they conversed, she began to zone out a bit, focusing more on him. he was kind, his eyes hiding more than he would ever admit. truthfully, if he wasn’t a weapons dealer with law enforcement after him, and if she wasn’t more into women, she could imagine some sort of future with him. a house in europe, two kids, the so-called perfect family. but of course, this was real life. there would be no house in europe, no kids to look after.

or so she thought.

***

it was fine in the beginning, being in europe with ian. she’d travel with him, helping him with business. they’d sometimes take weekend trips to get away from it all, staying in the countryside on one of his many properties. she didn’t necessarily enjoy being intimate with him, but she had to. after all, it was really just an act. and it would soon be over, hopefully.

but the first time she had felt her heart flutter when he looked at her, she knew. she had to get out. she couldn’t just fall in love with a weapons dealer, it would end terribly. and he didn’t even know who she really was, that the lauren he had fallen in love with didn’t actually exist.

when they finally settled down in italy, she saw her chance to get out. she’d call clyde every few days, pleading with him to just arrest doyle. there was no good reason that her team couldn’t take him. but clyde had other plans. “a few more days,” he had promised, claiming they were getting closer. but he’d been saying this for weeks. she turned to tsia, eventually, but even that was useless. tsia would say the same as clyde, confirming the thought lurking in the back of her mind. she wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

to her, there was no end in sight. he wanted to marry her, have her raise declan. she knew deep down that this couldn’t go on for much longer. she needed an out. she didn’t want to be lauren reynolds anymore.

every morning, her first thought was “this could be the last day.” and it never was. it was getting to be too much, she couldn’t keep going on anymore. the stress of it all had finally caught up to her.

and as she laid in the guest bed, hidden away from ian’s prying eyes, she let her tears fall. reaching into the drawer of the nightstand, she grabbed the bottle of pills and took one. and another. and another. she took enough that she knew would kill her. and that was okay. she didn’t want to be lauren anymore, and now she wouldn’t have to be. she wouldn’t even have to be emily, a whole other life that she was never quite sure if she wanted to go back to. this was better for her. for everyone.

clyde would get her message eventually, or perhaps he would figure out something was wrong. but she didn’t care, she wanted them to find her when it was too late. the letter on the table would explain everything.

“it’s for the best,” her mind reassured her. she recited it softly under her breath until she couldn’t anymore.

her eyes drifted shut, heart slowly stopping.

lauren reynolds was dead.

***

they caught ian doyle the next morning.

[moowithmidnight]

Just finished the Ian Doyle storyline (+half of S7) and omfg it’s my favorite thing ever I think. So obsessed with Emily’s own stupid brand of self-sacrifice- I love her so much. She was so ready to cut ties with the team forever and she thought they’d literally be fine as if they wouldn’t go to the ends of the earth to find her. They got suspended because of her, they were going to be fired because of their love for her. Like I’m gonna be sick.

Anyways, some things we reallllly skipped over:

1. How long Emily must’ve been undercover if she gained Ian’s trust in a way he literally admits no one else has (told her about Declan)

Like it must’ve been a really long time, and the way Tsia is so confident that making her repeat “Lauren Reynolds is dead” will soothe some of her anxiety makes me thing that Reid’s assessment of the phrase as a mantra is 10000% accurate. It must’ve genuinely fucked with her for a while, especially bc she must’ve been kind of young still.

2. The fact that Ian branded her- oh my lord. Like I know it’s been 7 months from her perspective, but nothing?? Wild to me, I’m sorry- there’s no way in hell that wasn’t extremely traumatic, ESPECIALLY when she was in Paris. Knowing he was out there still, seeing that mark every single day, after he murdered her?? French therapists would’ve been having a field day. And Ik she has a huge ass scar on her stomach too, but being scarred and being branded are wildly different things. Scarring doesn’t imply ownership the way being branded does.

Although headcanon: after Ian died and Emily settled back into the team, her perspective on the clover slowly shifted into the same sort of “I won before you ever got out of North Korea” mentality. Like, “this is the only thing that will ever remind me of you, because you’re gone and I’m still here.”

3. The way that, when he found out she was gone, Reid so so earnestly asked “why wouldn’t she tell us? we’re family, we could help.” OH MY GODDD. Sick and twisted, the whole thing was so sick and twistedddd

4. She kept the ring- she kept the ring and they found it and not a single person asked her about that!!!!

[blackbird-brewster]

Friday Fic Recs - ✨Holiday Edition✨

A few CM fanfics to celebrate the festive season!

Homo for the Holidays

JJ/Emily || Rated: G || WC: 11,830 Author: w00t4ewan

[Jemily Hallmark Christmas Movie AU!]

Jennifer Jareau is a successful magazine editor in New York, but when her best friend Penelope forces her to return to her hometown for the holidays, JJ is less than thrilled. That is, until she runs into someone from her past who may have more in common with JJ than she thought would be possible.

December

JJ/Emily || Rated: G || WC: 6704 Author: SloanGreyMercyDeath

Emily and JJ didn't have good Christmases growing up, so they're doing their best to make it perfect for baby Henry - and each other.

In the Dead of Night

JJ/Emily || Rated: G || WC: 1386 Author: plutosrobin

JJ takes a walk in the snow and finds herself on the doorstep of her unsuspecting co-worker.

a christmas miracle

JJ/Emily || Rated: G || WC: 15,208 Author: kallorys

Anti-Christmas Emily Prentiss finds herself planning and hosting a fundraiser to save a local coffee shop with the very festive (and very beautiful) Jennifer Jareau.

Lover Undercover

JJ/Emily || Rated: E || WC: 8792 Author: mjduncan

JJ and Emily get caught in a blizzard … will this be the time that they are forced to finally confront their feelings?

We Found Love

Tara/Emily || Rated: T || WC: 4954 Author: drivingmishcrazy

It’s New Year’s Eve and trouble is brewing. Will Tara and Emily’s budding relationship survive the night?

Night Changes

Tara/Emily || Rated: E || WC: 4063 Author: drivingmishcrazy

Christmas is on the horizon, Tara and Emily spend a snowy night in keeping each other warm. Will their passion simmer into something lasting, or fizzle out?

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

Emily/Elle || Rated: N/A || WC: 7894 Author: bubblegum_witch

Emily and Elle have never been big Christmas fans; but when Emily finds out Elle is planning on spending the holiday alone, she decides they should try to be.

Home to You This Christmas

JJ/Tara || Rated: T || WC: 2776 Author: w00t4ewan

JJ and Tara celebrate their first Christmas together, with help from Henry and Michael.

Going Home

Tara/Rebecca || Rated: E || WC: 3254 Author: w00t4ewan

Tara and Rebecca share their first holiday together. Memories are made, love is abundant, happiness abounds.

Peaceful Loneliness

Emily/Tsia || Rated: G || WC: 1477 Author: PepperSpicedLatte

And in the end, even on a night where the world is united in celebration, they only have themselves and their peaceful loneliness.

Baby It's Cold Outside

JJ/Elle || Rated: G || WC: 1975 Author: supergreyscorp

Elle and JJ go Christmas shopping.

Snowfall

Emily/Reader || Rated: G || WC: 1211 Author: kattwyllie

Home for Christmas

Tara/Reader || Rated: M || WC: 1202 Author: mggislife2789

[cloudlessly-light]

We go down together (Lauren Reynolds/Ian Doyle one-shot)

A/N: This is a Lauren Reynolds/Ian Doyle story and it’s the second fic for @sapphoe-sun star sign month! It’s a good thing we both have a soft spot for Ian and Lauren together and that we’re equally messed up, pretty boy!   Summary: She found herself slipping into Lauren the moment the car drove through the front gates, by the time she was walking through the door she barely remembered Emily anymore. Lauren had missed him, so much so that she didn’t want to wait until he was done with his meeting. Word Count: 3,6k Rating:  Explicit Warnings: Smut, exhibionism, dirty talk, rough, mentions of violence, drugs and guns

Lauren had been travelling and living with Ian for a few months now. It wasn’t ideal, of course it wasn’t and she was reminded of the fact every time she reported back to her team. It was getting harder, the line between Emily and Lauren blurring the longer she was with him. In the beginning she would feel sick about the things she had to say and do, but the more time went on, the easier it was to become Lauren, that woman was thrilling and dangerous and coming through when Emily wouldn’t.

She had just come back from a business trip, a made up story about a deal in Prague when she was actually only a couple of hours away talking to Tsia and Clyde about what intel she had gathered. She found herself slipping into Lauren the moment the car drove through the front gates, by the time she was walking through the door she barely remembered Emily anymore. She couldn’t if she wanted to play her part well. And she did, because as much as Emily would deny it, Lauren loved Ian and his twisted mind.

She finds him in his office and she clears her throat to make her presence known. When he turns to her, the smile on her face is confident, flirty as greets her with a grin of his own.

“Lauren!” He reaches for her and she rushes into his familiar embrace. “How did it go?” He asks against her neck, his stubble rough against her soft skin.

“It was good.” She pulled him into a kiss, the familiar feeling of want quickly spreading through her as she breathed him in and his rough fingers pulled her closer before one hand tangled in her hair and grasped at the silky straws. If it was one thing that had always come easy to her, it was the dull pulse of arousal that always seemed to engulf her when she was around him. She hummed into him, his other hand finding its way under her shirt to trace circles along the small of her back.

“Looks like someone missed me.” He teased but she knew that he loved the ego boost it gave him so she nodded.

“What can I say, Prague wasn’t the same without you there.” She looked into his clear blue eyes, could see the simmer of arousal in them. “Let’s go to bed and let me show you just how much I missed you.”

“Sorry, love.” He pressed another kiss to her lips, this one rougher as he kept her in place with his grip in her hair. “Gonna have to wait until later.” It still didn’t stop him from grabbing onto her ass and squeezing, pushing her tighter against him before moving his hand up to rest over her ribs.

“Ian,” She gripped at his shirt tightly, the heat of his body comforting, thrilling, terrifying. “don’t make me wait.” She kissed him, her tongue pressing against his lips and his fingers dug into her side warningly.

“Don’t make you wait huh?” He mumbled quietly against her lips as he forced her away and turned her in his arms so he could press against her back. “Didn’t think you’d be this needy, love.” He whispered against the shell of her ear and she gasped in return.  He kept his arms around her, keeping her tight against his chest as he grazed her neck with his lips, enjoying the way she shivered involuntarily. Always receptive, always so good for him, he thought to himself.

“I have a meeting.” He whispered, “and I can’t let the boys wait.” His teeth sunk into her shoulder and she hissed at the pain. When his tongue soothed the bite her head fell to the side, giving herself to him willingly, she always did. Even when she knew she shouldn’t, even when Emily hated what he did to her, Lauren loved it.

“Can I sit in?” She breathed and she felt his lips curl into a smile against her neck, menacing and cruel.

“You want to join us?” He rutted his hips against her backside and she felt his hard shaft pressing against her. “You do like an audience, don’t you?” He growled as she pressed further into him. “You like to be watched, love?”

She nodded without realizing, completely lost in whatever spell he always managed to put her under and his hands tightened around her.

“Answer me.” His voice was laced with something dark, something intimidating and she gasped quietly, her own hands gripping his forearms to keep steady.

“I like being watched.” She said softly, obediently, and he groaned against her ear.

“Is that what you want? For me to fuck you in front of all my men, for them to know just what a needy thing you are for me, love?” His hand found it’s way into her pants, down further into her underwear until his rough finger pressed against her clit and she inhaled sharply. “You want them to know what a good thing I have, what I get to fuck every night and they can only dream of it?”

“God, yes.” She mewled as his finger dipped inside of her roughly and her head fell back against his shoulder again. She knew that she shouldn’t, knew that she should object, but her body was thrumming, the hazy daze of arousal making any kind of logical thinking impossible. “Show them who I belong to.” She panted and she heard his groan, rough and full of determination.

“Very well.” He muttered and pulled away from her completely, leaving her mind blurry and confused until she turned and saw the satisfied grin on his lips. “Let’s go, love, wouldn’t want to keep them waiting, now would we?”

She moaned when his hand gripped the back of her hair tight enough to hurt, but she knew it was coming and followed him easily as they walked towards the room they used for whenever Ian was making deals in their home. When they walked in the loud chatter died down, all eyes on their boss and Lauren, questioning gazes and wondering hums sounding through the large room.

The flush on her cheeks only intensified when Ian pushed her forward towards the edge of the long table in the middle of the room.

“What is this?” Liam asked, his thick Irish accent familiar to her by now.

“Lauren is home.” Ian’s voice is filled with smugness as he speaks over her shoulder, his breathing landing on her neck and leaving goosebumps in its wake. “And she wants to join us.”

“Do you think that’s wise?” Liam asks again, his suspicion of her hadn’t wavered, even after months of her living in the villa with Ian.

“Don’t worry so much Liam,” Ian’s let go of her hair and slowly moved his hands around to her front, fingers gripping her shirt and tugging it off her. “because you’re all going to enjoy this.” His blue eyes move through the room and Lauren squirms as a dozen men take in the scene before them, but she can feel the thrum of arousal in her belly, can feel her clit throbbing from their gazes.

“What is happening?” Another one of Ian’s lackeys ask, a guy she’d only met a handful of times, young and green.

“We’ll get to the meeting, but first, I need to welcome Lauren home.” He chuckles and a few of the men join him with appreciative glances. “She’s not here for you, if anybody touches her, that’s a bullet in your skull.” He clarifies and he catches the way Lauren shivers at his words. His woman was always so receptive to his violence, it was one of his favorite things about her. “She’s mine and you’ve been given the privilege to watch her.”

Emily felt the flush creep down her chest as thick fingers moved to unbutton her pants, Ian’s familiar touch gentle as he pulled them off, leaving her in her underwear and she shivered from the cool air. She glanced behind her, and she saw his eyes on her for a moment, questioning, giving her a chance to stop but she didn’t hesitate when she pushed back against him. She nodded, something quick that was barely noticeable but Ian noticed everything.

“Turn around, love.” He said quietly and she did so quickly. His hands were warm as he lifted her onto the table, and if it weren’t for the low murmurs around the room Emily could have almost forgotten about the people around her. His lips were claiming when he kissed her, his strong hips fitting perfectly in between her spread thighs as she pulled him even closer with a breathy moan.

“Imagine getting to have that every night.”

“He sure knows how to pick ‘em.”

“I always knew she was a wild one.”

“Gorgeous thing isn’t she.”

She didn’t recognize the voices coming from behind her, but it only made her feel hotter, knowing that the men watching all wanted her, but couldn’t have her. She could feel it on Ian too, his hands more insistent on her body, his lips smirking against her neck as he licked over her skin.

“They all want you, Lauren.” He mumbled quietly enough that no one but her could hear. “They all wish they were me.” Blue eyes found brown when he pulled back, his gaze so intense that she felt like he’d set her ablaze. The sound that rumbled from her throat when he grabbed her throat to pull her into another kiss was nothing short of wanton, almost desperate as he grinded his clothed groin against her center.

When she reached behind herself to unhook her bra he snickered at her but he was just as eager as she was, his cock painfully hard in his pants already. He gripped her chin and angled her face towards his, his tone thick with arousal when he spoke and she knew that he wanted the room to hear her.

“You want me to fuck you?” He asked and she could feel her cheeks burn with embarrassment and arousal. His fingers moved to her chest, tugging on her nipples.

“Yes.” She whispered and his grip hardened on her chest.

“Louder.” He grinned like a Cheshire cat and her hips rocked into him in return, searching for friction.

“Yes.” She said louder, her back arching into his touch. “Yes I want you to fuck me.”

“Fucking hell.” Liam muttered beside her and when she dared to look at him, the usually sour look on his face was replaced by something else completely, his eyes lingering on her chest, moving over her exposed body. “You better give it to her, boss.”

The laughs that sounded around the room made her whimper, her eyes closing tight as she felt the humiliation mixing with the want that by now was threatening on delirious.

It was his hand tearing her underwear from her that made her look up again, her breathing hitching when he pushed first one, then two fingers inside of her in quick succession,

“Oh my my, you’re a mess.” He chuckled when he felt her heat, her slick coating her thighs and his fingers in only seconds. “You love this.” It wasn’t a question but he still hummed when she nodded, her head falling back and exposing her neck to him. His fingers curled as he licked a stripe from her collarbone and up her throat, tasting the vibration from her moan against his tongue. “Beg.” He grunted and she squeezed around his fingers in return. He moved his thumb to rub over her clit, the pad of his thumb circling in time with his curling fingers inside of her.  

“Please.” She gasped, her fingers gripping his shirt to keep from falling back, her hips buckling into his touch. “Please Ian.” The plea was whiny and breathy and she could hear murmurs around them again, but too far gone to make out any of the words.

When she felt him step back she whimpered at the loss, but the sight of Ian pushing his pants down enough to release his cock kept her still. He pumped himself as he watched her, and she felt her mouth watering at the sight of him, hard and leaking. She made a move to fall to her knees but he stopped her before she could and forcefully pushed her back on the table again.

She looked around quickly, saw the men had all gotten closer, all of their eyes on her and she flushed. The slap to her thigh made her cry out and her eyes snapped to Ian.

“Eyes on me.” He told her as he stood between her legs and she swallowed hard. Her eyes stayed on his as he ran the tip of him through her folds, making sure to bump against her clit repeatedly.

“Ian…” She gasped and he chuckled, breathy and low as he grinded into her, making sure the underside of his shaft slid against her.

“See this, boys?” He finally addressed the rest of them again, his eyes moving around the room as he felt her eyes glued on him. “This is how you take care of your woman.” He slapped his cock against her clit and she jerked, much to the amusement of the men in the room. “She begs for me, and when a pretty girl like this begs for you, you need to make sure you deliver.”

He pushed inside of her without warning and the moan that left her was guttural and low, her entire body reacting to it as her legs wrapped around him and her back arched, pushing her chest up into his hands. She was pretty sure her mind went completely blank as he started to thrust, both his hands quickly gripping her hips to keep her from moving too much on the smooth surface of the table and his mouth on her chest, licking, biting, sucking, marking.

“You feel so good, love.” He grunted as the sound of skin slapping against skin got louder and the appreciative murmurs got lower as they wall watched Ian take her.

Her short nails were close to ripping his shirt, her jaw slack as moans and grunts and whines left parted lips.

“Ian, fuck!” Her eyes were bleary as she looked up at him, the familiar feeling of him finally inside of her enough to make her writhe on the table. His smirk darkened as he watched the pleasure on her face, one hand moving from his bruising grip to instead rub her clit again, earning a loud cry.

“That’s it Lauren, show them how good I fuck you.” He grunted and she dared another look around the room. Some were close enough to touch her, she could see fingers twitching and hands balling into fists and she knew that if the threat of death wasn’t a promise, that they would all be on her. That thought made her dizzy with want, knowing that Ian had that much power over them.

“I’m close,” She gasped as she looked back at him. “I’m so close!” It was by far the fastest she’d ever come apart and Ian groaned in return. His hips moved harder against her, his finger on her clit matching the tempo effortlessly.

She was sure her scream could be heard through the entire villa when she came, her body trembling hard enough for Ian to pin her down as he grunted his own pleasure into the room, his head thrown back.

“Fuck you feel so good when you come on me.” He panted as he slowed his thrusts, giving her a moment to come down before pulling out completely, making her whine. “Turn around.”

She scrambled to turn around and laid down on her stomach on the table. His fingers were gentle as they trailed along her spine, stopping briefly over the tattoo on her shoulder blade before moving further up to grip her hair again.

“Please,” She pushed up on her arms, pressing her hips back against him, not caring how desperate it made her look. “please Ian.”

“You want to come again?” He pulled her head to the side so he could speak against her ear. The other hand moved over the front of her body, playing with pebbled nipples, stroking over heated skin, rubbing over her clit. “You want more?”

“I want everything.” She gasped and his teeth sunk into her neck, leaving another mark on her before he pushed back inside of her from behind. He let go of her completely and let her move back against him for a few moments before pushing her flat against the table.

“You want everything.” He repeated her words slowly, like he was tasting the weight of them on his tongue. She cried out when his fingers returned to her clit, circling in the way he knew she loved and he grunted. “I’ll give you everything, love.” He whispered and if it wasn’t for the fact that the entire room at gone momentarily silent she wouldn’t even have heard him.

He slammed into her, her entire body jolting with each thrust and she knew her hipbones would be bruised from the hard edge that dug into her skin. She scrambled on the table, looking for anything to grab onto but Ian only pinned her arms behind her back, the hand not between her legs holding her wrists.

“I-I…” She stuttered, unable to form words as her hips rocked back into him.

“You’re already close again.” He finished for her and smiled at his men, all of them looking slightly impressed and the ego boost only made him go faster. “I know, I can feel you strangling my dick.” He slowed his thrusts and leaned over her.

“Don’t stop.” She immediately begged and he snickered against her ear.

“Look at them when you come,” He told her and she slowly lifted her head enough to look around at the different faces “let them see how well I fuck you, how good I make you feel.” He huffed and then straightened again, continuing to thrust like he hadn’t stopped in the first place.

She kept her head up the best she could, her eyes locking on a few familiar faces as she got closer and closer. Her body was trembling, her skin sweaty as the grunts from Ian only got her closer. His low words of encouragement were jumbled and low and she it was less than a minute before she came again.

“That’s my good girl.” Ian growled as she spasmed on the table, his eyes moving around the room as he watched the way they were watching Lauren. He knew that they wanted her, could see the lust on their faces as he claimed her as his.

Lauren’s moans turned into low whimpers and mewls as he continued to move with heavy thrusts, his fingers still on her clit.

“Again.” He ordered before she had the chance to say that it was too much. “You’re coming for me again.”

All she could do was nod, the pleasure all-consuming as he used his knowledge of her body against her. Her hands fisted behind her and he let go of her wrists, for which she was thankful as she pushed herself back up on her hands. She met each of his thrusts, squeezed her muscles around him and when he hissed she smirked through her exhaustion.

“Come with me.” She looked at him over her shoulder, could see the strain on his face. He was just as close as she was. “I want to drip of you all night.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Do it, Doyle, give her what she wants.”

“Hell yes, she’s the perfect fucking woman.”

Emily barely heard them, her focus on Ian and the pleasure he was causing. He wrapped his arm around her ribs, kept her close to him as he continued to pump deep inside of her.

“You ready, love?” He huffed and she nodded, head falling back against his shoulder. “Come on me again.”

Like her body was trained, she came for a third time with a grunt. Her knees gave out and her fingers gripped his arm as the pleasure rolled over her in waves powerful enough to make her eyesight whiten out.

Ian came just as she was coming down, his hips pressed against her backside as he let go. Her walls were still clinging to him, gripping onto his shaft as he released deep inside of her with a breathless growl. His lips were pressed against her neck, tasting the sweat on her skin as he enjoyed the way she was still twitching in his arms.

It was still for a few moments after that, labored breathing the only sound heard through the room. It wasn’t until Ian was sure that she could stand that he moved away from her and pulled off his shirt to pull it over her head and then he pulled his pants up over his hips.

“Come on.” He told her as he sat down on his chair next to them, Lauren quickly sitting on his lap, still slightly dazed.

She pressed her face into his neck as she let herself relax, the sound of his voice comforting as she came down from her high. Soon enough there was talk of guns and drugs and trips that needed to take place withing the coming weeks, but she barely heard any of it. She kept her face in the crook of his neck and when he gave her a smile and his hand squeezed her thigh, she knew that this was only the beginning of their night.

[unitchiefs-blackbirdphoenix]

No please give us an list about your favourite side characters!

Ahh ok, here it is!

Kristy Simmons

Henry Lamontagne

William Lamontagne Jr.

Savannah Hayes

Mateo Cruz (listen I love his friendship with JJ!)

Tsia Mosley (love her and Emily!)

Grant Anderson (he’s just happy to be there and confused when he’s invited to JJ and Will’s wedding)

Haley Hotchner

Erin Strauss

Beth Clemmons

Honorable mentions:

Michael Lamontagne (hate the continuity error but he’s still a cute kid bc he’s AJ’s irl kid!)

Rebecca Wilson (limited amount of screen time rn so a little early to rank her, but I love her and Tara)

Monica Walker (love Tracie Thoms in 911 but not enough screen time and I don’t remember much of s12)

That one coworker that was helping Garcia in s13 in the Cyber Division (I forgot who she was but she’s so sweet!)

[gold-onthe-inside]

In honor of Pride Month, I wanted to praise your writing of Mick and Prophet, especially in the wedding story. Sometimes because things are slightly more progressive now, people can forget how much anxiety there is around pursuing queer relationships during a hostile time and you didn’t shy away from that. I hope Piper gets to officiate their wedding a few years down the timeline once it’s legal. Do you have plans to explore queer identity with other characters too like Emily? Love that you made her explicitly queer.

thank you for the ask and happy pride 🌈 I knew i wanted to have mick and prophet to end up together but I was a little scared to do it because even though I am bisexual, I've never been in a queer relationship. and writing a relationship between two guys is all the more daunting for me.

i do want to explore emily's queerness. like i do think she's had crushes on jj and jordan. i really want to explore the emily and tsia relationship because there's def something there. but i think my endgame ship for her is with tara.

[ihopeineverloseyou19]

As It Was

‘I can't exist in a way that comforts you’ Claire C.Holland.

If London had taught her anything, it was that no matter the circumstances it was okay to leave.

Words:6.4k

The universe had never been totally aligned for Emily when it came to her life, neither her zodiac sign was correct, the times Penelope read it to her, which happened almost everyday she came early into the bureau. Emily never believed in that. She was a lovable mess, it was how Garcia had described her in one of her first girls night games  when they used to host them at least. Penelope, who every morning brought her lunch when she forgot to eat, when the mountain of files at her desk seemed to be interminable. Or Reid who recommended her books, when they were in some foreing airport, the way he noticed her restless in ways nobody ever did. Then she confessed to him that the airport had always made her uneasy.

Agitated, Emily had to always move her leg tap tap tap, as they waited for the jet to come, Rossi, new to the team, the last member to join them, had been the first to notice, or even to care to ask her about it. The reason was simple. She hated airports. There was something behind that statement, something Emily never really had the courage to explore in more depth, something that she knows must be connected to her childhood. Perhaps the lack of stability she had growing up. 

That was something good wherever she had to pack her life into a little suitcase, for cases that they somehow knew would take them too long to figure out. Her go-bag was something she always had in hand in case she was called immediately. Emily loved the uncertainty of working as a profiler, how rapidly changes were made, how their work was solid, in ways her life had never been. 

Ever since she came to London, she could finally breathe, the accent British people had was refreshing to her, something she took comfort in. London, where she lived a big chunk of her twenties, where she started her career in Interpol where her first team was formed. Sean, Clyde, Tsia and Jeremy. Four names she still holds so much memories into, people she can never see again because of past mistakes. Clyde, the only one apart from her who survived Doyle. 

Emily felt so at home in a country forein to the one she grew up in that she only had little reasons as to if she could ever come back to the states, where she knew her life would be turned upside down again. It always was, but the same person brought her back time and time again. This time it was not JJ, who asked her to come, but Will. An anxious Will had woken her up that same night panicking about JJ’s disappearance. Something that had socked her was what JJ told his husband to do, what he repeated to her in the same phone call ‘if something would to happen to me, call Emily’ 

How would JJ know that she would leave everything behind? That the moment Hotch called her she was right here, in the airport waiting for that jet to come and bring her to the BAU, to solve yet another case with a team she left behind, to save someone. This time to save a woman she ached to have, her best friend, whom she did things that she was sure other friends didn’t. She had wondered, the first time it happened, if it was normal to know the taste of the blonde woman's lips. They didn’t really go anywhere apart from a few kisses, nothing more than two women exploring new territory. 

When Emily landed, she immediately recognized the black SUV, a car she had driven wherever they had to go on a case, the vehicle so familiar, Anderson had been the agent assigned to drive her back to the bureau, the man had always been quite silent with everyone, but JJ, she had always been so familiar with everyone that it was hard, not to end up loving her. 

When both of them reached the sixth floor, he put a hand on her back, stopping her for a moment, a pleading ‘find her’ fell from his lips. Emily could only nod, because as Hotch had informed her, JJ had been missing for at least 48 hours since Will called. Emily thought that it was strange, that Will had reached out to her leaving so much time apart. He was a cop after all, he should have known to act sooner. 

Her eyes flickered into the wall of those who had not made it, those who tragically and heroically had died on a case. Emily was up there once. She didn't consider what she did exactly heroic, she did what she had to and still managed to mess everything up by getting them involved in something that was only hers to fight. Her eyes always took over her own picture hanging by a wall that she didn't deserve. In a twisted way that picture grounded her the first time she stepped in after Paris. 

After coming back from the dead, when she took back what was hers to cherish a life that had never been important enough for her. Not until she met them, she was still reckless and still felt the adrenaline pumping through her veins everytime she chased after an unsub. The few times she did especially now that most days than not she was in her office with reports.

She tried to conjure up the image of JJ up there, what picture would they chose to honor her among the lost ones, her brain could not make the image up, ironically because she had faith in the team, the same belief she had when she chased after Doyle, moments before she went to face him alone, when she was hearing Penelope’s last call to her. She knew then that she had to act before he could hurt them, perhaps that rushed plan was what failed, she should have  checked better. JJ would be okay, she had to.

Emily walked out to the bullpen, as she expected nobody was there, the team must be outside, maybe they went to JJ’s house, in search of clues just like they did when she vanished, profiling anyone of the team was always a hard, but necessary thing, that most days than not they used, but she spots Penelope in the conference room, Kevin by her side. Emily was glad that even when they both broke up, they could still work with each other, not letting their relationship ruin their friendship. Not like she and JJ did. Still Emily thinks that what they had was different. 

“Blackbird” Penelope states noticing the new alert that came by a second ago, turning to Kevin she muttered, “What does that mean?”

 Blackbird, a term so familiar to her, a code between them, Emily was in awe that JJ would ever use something so personal for them as a password if something went wrong, Will’s words replaying in her head ‘she asked me to call you’. Even if that call had not been made, that word had been a detonant into the state department indicating that something was wrong. That she would have been in danger, she knows, she had used that same password when Doyle was arrested. 

“That’s JJ” Emily announces as she forces herself to enter inside the room, both technical analysts turn towards her, that same scene so different when she came back after Paris. Although, this time the hugs were not there, neither were the happy tears from Penelope that followed after they stepped apart. No, this time, she had to save her. Return the favor JJ did when she herself was kidnapped, and try to save her. If not for her, because JJ was someone she could never have solely for herself, for Henry and a husband that loves her. 

After all JJ deserved to be happy, it was everything she strived for, wherever she was with her. Emily supposed that it was the price of love. Giving away everything she could, to make her best friend happy, she knew that Will was the one who would make her whole. Emily knew that no matter how much she would have tried, she could never be the one for her, she was destined to be alone. But alone was good. She could make it alone, Emily never needed anyone to begin with. 

"We have a location" Garcia stated enthusiastically, looking at her, but really, it was not that Emily did a lot, only sent them  preliminary information of who she thought had JJ. She barely could do anything more than that, nothing more than wait. Emily wasn't strong enough to face it. She was not the same person that was left unscratched. She decided to stay, to let the team face it alone, it would be hard enough to see JJ in person, she could not imagine how her heart would suffer if she saw her like she had once been, vulnerable, broken. 

This time Emily was not sure that she could stitch back pieces of herself into JJ, like the ex-liaison did with her in Paris, trying to love her unconditionally, living with borrowed time, the few days off JJ took from the state department, where instead of coming back to the states and see her family she decided to visit her time and time again, they walked side by side by Paris, as if everything was fine. 

Neither of them talked about it, nor the way their bodies fit so well together when they spent the night in the same bed, intertwined, with only hours and minutes in between. Emily stills thinks that somewhere deep, beneath all those times and laughs that JJ would feel guilty, for not going  back to her family, for lying to her husband telling him that she had rescheduled yet another free day because they needed her. It was true in a way Emily did need her more than him, it was nice not to wake up alone for once. 

Will. That's the first thing she thinks when her phone vibrates, she needs to find him, at least for a few minutes, the team are already on their way to the location, some abandoned buildings not too far from DC. She has decided not to go, not to step in some unfamiliar territory where JJ could do something that she might regret later, like kissing her in front of the team, when she had a family worried about her. JJ might be under so much stress that the smallest thing, even herself could detonant something within her.

Emily walks away, not wanting to hear Garcia re-directing the team, talking with them, and pleading to bring her home. She gets out of the room and she eventually finds him in Hotch's office, a little four year old Henry with his head on his father's lap, fast asleep. Will scrolling through his phone, probably waiting for an update. "Hey"

"Emily" He turns around and smiles at her, it doesn't reach his eyes, but really how could it, JJ's missing, a person they both care about is in danger. "I'm glad you are back" 

"If the circumstances were better so would I." She scratches the back of her hair. She realizes then that she and Will hadn't had so many conversations, apart from where JJ or Henry were the topic. "How are you?" 

"Holding on" He replies touching Henry's forehead lovingly, it's strange in a sense that he had not asked once if they had any new information regarding JJ, "I have to get this one back home, we only have one more day after all" 

Emily watches, with how much ease he picks his son up, she wonders if it felt natural, if picking Henry up was something he was used to doing. If the child feels safe enough for him to sleep. If Henry would not have had the doubt she had when she was a kid and had to drag herself back to bed, with no one around to guide her through the dark corridors of her home. Where the only light coming down the doorway was the one of her mother's office. How her mother had never considered doing that for her, simply picking her up when she was tired. 

"They found her" Emily states as he stops in the doorway, Henry's arms around his neck, Will doesn't turn around, he doesn't ask where she is going to be sent to for a check up. He simply mutters, "Good" 

He walks out, just as Hotch and Rossi come inside the bureau, they shake hands with him. She watches him go. Will, who some years ago was the perfect person for her best friend, kind, with a smile plastered on his face, bad jokes for whatever circumstances they were going through. Now he looked to be a shadow of the man she once knew. Emily thinks that the years must have taken a toll with him. Maybe the longer hours JJ had been spending now that she had her position were getting through them.

"She's getting checked by the paramedics" Rossi announces as he steps right in her view, "Reid's with her, we are hoping that she accepts going to an actual hospital, but she is just like you isn’t she?" 

Emily snorts, she knows JJ or the person she was exactly, the same hard convincing woman who slept every night for two entire consecutive weeks beside her in the hospital, when she was supposed to be dead. No matter how many times Emily had insisted for her to go home with her family. "It's going to be hard, that's for sure"

"You should go to see her" Rossi says as they go to the elevators, her job here is finished, JJ is alive and she will heal, Emily was sure of it. She had a life that she needed to go back to, a job back in London, a team who needed her. "She asked about you" 

Emily closed her eyes, she heard the sound the elevator made wherever they reached their destination, she kept them closed as she breathed out a lie she had been holding onto since she came inside “My plane leaves in a few hours”. She heard Dave walk out. There was really not an explanation that would be enough, not for her or for anyone of why she didn't want to see JJ. After being kidnapped she asked for her. Not for Will, Henry or even Penelope who she has known forever, but she chose her. Emily could not really comprehend it. 

She has an early flight to catch, a flight that leaves in no more than a few hours. Emily had every movement calculated, from the time she picked her ticket to how much her hotel room would cost if she stayed there less than five hours. She knew back in the jet to DC that she could not go through everything this city reminded her of. How many things she lost and gained in the span of seven years, if the suffering she went through had been enough for her to try again.

DC, where she had lived the majority of her childhood once her mother was named ambassador. A city that not until she entered the BAU could not be called home. The smell of food constantly in the air as she walked back to a car they let her have reminded her that she missed lunch. Emily had been so focused on JJ, like so many times she had been during the years she spent on the team. How she checked after every case if the then liaison was okay after a particularly rough case. How she could not move closer for this one. How could she not be the one that this time around comforted her. 

Their work Emily thought was everything that united them, somehow the suffering other people, victims and families went through made them closer. That pain, palpable on the victims they came across during the years they worked side by side, had enforced how much of themselves they let out, measured actions and words. Emily had always felt that words between them were unnecessary. They could understand each other by merely looking at each other. 

It was a curse that Emily learned to live with. Being able to touch her best friend, but not confess, in the way she wanted to what they felt, or what she thought the both felt for each other. But it finished before it started, Will came in and JJ was happier around him, at least happier than when she was with her. It would not be fair to drag them both down the drain just because her heart hurt around the newly married couple, with their son a few feet apart. It was easier to leave. It always was.

Without barely noticing she took the way of the notification her phone had received an hour ago. She could not exactly walk away and leave her like that. JJ had fought so hard for her to have the anonymity she had always carved for when they went to Paris. Anonymity, something that Emily had always wanted to have, but that it could not be compatible with being the Ambassador's daughter. 

JJ and her were different yet, the dynamic between the two of them never failed to amaze her. How they could be so close without even knowing each other so well. How JJ laid everything out in the open. Contrary to herself, she preferred to hide the truth, partly it had to be because of their different growing ups. Childhood moments that would shape them, not in ways they both had preferred to. Those unfair moments helped them to deal better with their respective works. 

Emily stops the car, most vehicles from the FBI gone, only an ambulance and a black SUV that Reid must have driven. She notices JJ and Spencer arguing. She doesn't get out, the only thing Emily can do is lower her car lights so she won’t be noticed. Emily merely looks up to the scene in front of her, how they are screaming to each other, relieving the tension both of them probably carried. How she and JJ had done the exact same thing the first time she woke up in the hospital cautious whispers, but it was the same anger that JJ must feel. The same rage Emily felt within herself for driving back, not comforting her best friend. Not knowing how to, that anger she thinks it had been hand in hand with a guilt she still hadn’t processed, after all these years she was incapable of forgiving herself. 

If London had taught her anything, it was that no matter the circumstances it was okay to leave. She felt good in that city, where she could go to the cemetery and visit her old colleagues. She mostly visited Tsia. Who didn't get to marry, to continue living a life she had planned with Jeremy. Leaving her favorite flowers every two weeks. 

They meet solely for that last mission, it was supposed to be easy, to capture Doyle and keep on with their lives, but Emily never lost contact with them. They were, after all, an important part of her life. People that when she was undercover had seen around his house. They had her back. Emily failed to save them, she failed to save herself. 

She doesn’t remember exactly how she was opening her hotel room, she barely remembers telling the receptionist her own name. Emily knew where she was getting into when she declined every offer from her old team to pay for her accommodation when she stated that in no circumstances she was going to stay at either of their homes. She felt that in a way would be something that would stay there, she might have to own them her time, her space, something she was not ready to share.

 London, she was focusing on the plane back, no matter how much she loathed flying, nothing prepared her for the feeling of estrangement she had felt since the jet landed. Everything felt so familiar yet so far from her reach, so many things had changed over the course of the years. As if the world had left her apart from everything that happened, every milestone her friends reached. Really, she was the only one to blame here, she was after all who decided that she needed space. The one who decided that leaving was for the best.

The little hotel room she booked funnily enough looked like the ones the bureau chose wherever they had to go away on a case, always the cheapest motels. It was fine, Emily knew that she would have to be up in about five hours, the cab to take her to the airport was already booked beforehand. She took out the necessary contents from her go-bag, some sweater that she had mostly used to sleep in and a sandwich she stopped by to buy. She wanted to avoid DC as much as she could. Emily could not really let the city enchant her once again, she had already a life made up in London, where she had nearly everything she wanted. It had to be enough, she was content in London, yet she knew deep down that comparing the two places would not be fair. 

That city was unknowingly the change she needed so hard to have, some sort of escape from all that happened the last time she was in DC. London was familiar to her, the first place she had lived all on her own without bodyguards constantly chasing after her or her mother who had her own room in every house she ever lived. Emily can guarantee that her mother's bed had only been used on at least two occasions. Both nights Emily doubted her mother really had gotten a full night of sleep before disappearing the next morning. 

London where she took a liking to walking through the farmers market every Saturday, where she could chose fresh hand-picked products on the same exact day (or that’s what the salesperson always claimed), later with her food already bought she walked through the Primrose Hill park, that was a few feet away from the market. Emily liked the views that park offered her, it had the best view of London’s skyline. She packed a new book with her and spent some hours taking in the sunrays, taking in the sun. Enjoying the good weather while it lasted. Until the sky turned dark and the families around dissipated. 

That farmers market was very different from the one she visited in DC, her last house in DuPont had a market which was available during January through late December. The only problem was her schedule with her work as an FBI agent and the little time it was open to the buyers and visitors and mostly due to the desire she had to cook herself above cooked meals. Little by little with a few extra classes Rossi gave her, she could finally get a hang of his pasta recipe, one she had cooked a lot since she left to friends that came to join her for lunch, her kitchen at Londo so small, but it was a rented cheap apartment she could not really ask more than that. She hadn’t bothered to buy a house there. 

Back in DC, Emily more times than not had dinner with Dave, who offered her a weekly dinner with him when she came back. She supposed that the offer might have been decided when he noticed the distance that her old teammates had with her. Most of them could take it, brush apart their personal relationship or what was left from it, based on lies and stories that didn't hold onto one another anymore. But it was JJ, the hardest person to get close to when she arrived, more so, her shocked expression when she noticed the bright new engagement ring on her left hand.

That moment was what it took for Emily to make that decision to leave. Leaving DC for the first time in years, solely for herself. JJ married Will, while they promised each other forever in Paris, the first time they kissed, when all their secrets were exposed and nothing more than the two of them knew, they belonged to each other. It was the only time in all her life that Emily had seen the universe aligning for her, for her happiness.

 It was not intentional on her part that Clyde had called her that day with the offer to direct the interpol. An escape plan. She thought that saying goodbye would hurt more than it actually did. But it didn’t. Emily left and started a new life for herself, she was so used to starting over that the change of London didn’t hurt her as much. She made new friends, being forced to move a lot when she was a child, there was something that she had learned to do, talking with strangers, more times than not profiling them, not too much, just to know if they would be compatible enough. If they would be trustworthy, like Hotch or as welcoming as Penelope. Her friends now are different. Different from her family here in DC, but equally as important. They tease her about her American accent, almost constantly, but Emily’s getting used to it, she mostly teases them back. 

Emily was fond of them, she stayed more time with colleagues after work, perhaps to fill up the void that she somehow still had after DC, about her team, no matter how many rounds in the bar or how funny those moments where, in the back of her mind she was unknowingly comparing each and every moment to her old life, to her team, to her first family. Even when Clyde and her arranged to meet each week to talk about how she as settling in, to talk about the old times, about Sean, Jeremy and Tsia, to commemorate them and sometimes bring them to life between happy times and somewhat bittersweet moments, their last time batling side by side, how they cared about them. How much their deaths impacted Emily and what was she using to cope with that, after those years, she had learned to accept it. It was not her fault, she was not the one who made that team, who assigned them to Doyle, she was not the one holding the gun. 

Emily laid her head on the bed, the pillow was uncomfortable, it sinked along with the mattress. The cushion was not the worst she had been too, but the sheets against her bare legs were a little itchy. She wondered how many times they had been washed with a good detergent. Although Emily has to admit that she had never found sheets like the ones Spencer had given her one Christmas, that soft material made it impossible not to fall asleep wherever she touched her bed at London, those sheets had been probably the only thing she didn’t leave behind.

A series of knocks to her hotel room wakes her up hours later, she briefly cheeked the time, the light of her phone made her shut her eyes in the darkness and she switched on the lamp that was a few meters from her, illuminating dimly the hotel room, she walked towards the door and open it bare, wondering silently who had woken up at such an hour. 

She expected Derek, with an excuse to get some drinks at a bar, or Rossi with a new invitation for dinner, she never expected her. She never expected to have to face things with JJ, not today, she was supposed to go back to London unnoticed. Like she did when she first moved there permanently, away from every ghost she carried. 

Emily observed Jennifer’s messy aspect, where once have been a woman unpolluted, always organized and grounded, now she looked totally opposite to the woman she left dancing with her husband nearly three years ago. She left knowing that JJ would be happy, comfortable without having her around, a constant reminder of what happened between them, of what it nearly transcurred those events into. JJ’s eye bore into her, Emily felt a certain discomfort by the lack of light in those blue eyes she always saw, there was something empty there. An emptiness that might have been settled before her kidnapping. 

There has always been a pull between them, something that Emily could not find the right words to explain, how well they seemed to understand each other, how they knew each other, their lies, or a little part of them. JJ might be the only person Emily had not to profile to get along with her, it was not that she couldn’t (it had become harder with the years apart), but she simply didn’t want to. JJ was the only person Emily accepted a heartbreak from, her best friend who took her out of serious situations, who constantly supported her through everything, was in front of her, as the only thing she had ever been, a friend, nothing more, whatever they felt for each other could not be comforted. 

Not since Will entered the picture, Emily felt herself resigned to be an almost lover. Something that could have been but that because of the circumstances or timing it was not possible, Emily felt as the gravity separated them, holding them apart. She felt jealous of Will, wherever they held hands, she wanted to be in his place, so many times Emily wished to be him. To have a chance with JJ, a chance that she never got to have in the first place. 

“Emily” JJ’s voice was deep, familiar. Her name has always sounded so sweet to her own ears when Jennifer pronounced it, there was something beneath this time, Emily could not exactly place it. “Hi”

“You were there” JJ muttered softly, her tongue clicked with her teeth, softly, as she admitted what she might have known forever, repeating her words, louder this time to let them out, “You were there” 

Emily’s eyelids felt heavy and the many hours of difference between London and DC was getting to her, she shook her head and step into her room, she needed to sleep and JJ didn’t look so well rested. “Come inside”

Emily looked through her go bag, searching for another sweater for JJ, whose teeth were colliding, the FBI profiler was shivering, with only a blue shirt, that looked to be the one she had been hostaged into. Emily hands her one of her Yale sweaters and she observes the difficulties the blonde woman has when she has to put it on, as she assumed. “You didn’t get checked out did you?” 

“I had to come here” JJ stated blowing her own breath in her hands to warm them up, “The receptionist didn’t want to give me your room number so I had to spend a few hours calling into strangers rooms and waking them up” She chuckles, and Emily knows that she is trying to divert the answer to the question.

JJ distracted herself playing with the slaves of Emily's hoodie, it was a little big on her, she was warm and it smelled like her, the lavender perfume Emily had always used, "Rossi told me where you were staying"

Emily nods, she already knew why Dave would be so adamant for them to see each other again. It was him who offered to book her the room, somewhere she had to pass the night since she declined nearly all the team's invitations, she could not bear to spend a last night in company of someone else, because she knew that they might get to her, change her minds and her desires to leave DC. 

"I hoped that you would have gone with the team" JJ states looking directly at her, she was not angry, how could she? JJ knew that it was already hard enough for Emily being here. "When Hotch and Reid arrived I knew you didn't, but I knew deep down that you would be here"  

"Will called me" Emily admits, she would have come if Hotch had been the first, but Will. She still remembers the trembling his voice holded when he was explaining to her about JJ’s sudden disappearance. Emily recalled his fear, how his voice sounded while she was in a bureau meeting, she cut it short, because it was Will, he was unexpected. 

"He did?" JJ inquires surprised, she knows that he was probably wondering why she had not replied to either of his missed calls, she checked all her messages when Spencer gave her phone, JJ makes a mental note to call him later, or maybe tomorrow when she has to pick Henry up. "We got a divorce two years ago, we have Henry's custody split"

Emily understands Will's cold shoulder with JJ's disappearance, the way he grabbed Henry a little too tight while she observed them before entering the room, how he mentioned that they still had one more day. It all made sense, still he called her, because her best friend was in danger.

"How much time do you have left?" JJ frowned when she saw Emily’s suitcase closed, only a few items out, just, like the times they shared a room, she breathed in as Emily looked closely at her clock. 

"I leave a couple of hours" Emily swallows because JJ was addressing it, pointing out that she knew. Emily could not stay, not in DC. Jennifer’s presence had always calmed her, maybe they were the years that passed by but her whole body reacted when JJ grabbed her hand and squeezed hard. 

"I saw you" JJ tells her, her hands still connected, the lack of ring in her hand made their intimate posture better, more relaxed, somehow less guilty by doing something so normal, "when I was in the basement, they had me lowered to the floor…I was about to give up, but then you appeared and told me to hold on" JJ sniffs a little before adding, "Emily you saved me, I fought for you, for us"

"I can't do that" Emily shakes her head, she was not sure if her heart could take being broken twice by the same person, "I can't exist in a way that comforts you"

"Emily, please don't go" JJ pleaded, her body was shaking, tears so close to falling, her heart ached, in ways it had never been for Will, "I can't ask you to love me back, but I never stopped needing you"

Emily singhs those were the words she longed to hear all those years ago, when she came back from Paris, with what they did in the back of her mind, the moments they shared together, early morning soft kisses as they hid under the covers. Late afternoons together, both sleeveless with cups of coffee rested in their hands as they watched the sun go down. Or the sleepless nights they had because she had woken up startled, only to seek comfort in the firm warm body pressed next to her. "I can't let you break my heart again" Emily admitted, "I can't come back one day and realize that I was nothing more than a distraction from your perfect relationship" 

"You were more than that" Jennifer’s voice broke, she felt her throat tighten, it felt impossible for her to mutter her last words,"It won't be the same as it was" 

Clyde once told her what she would change from the past, so that the hurt wouldn't be so permanent in the future. Out of all the things she could choose from her mother, to saving Tsia or not getting involved with Doyle or Declan. The only thing that came out was JJ's name, she had wished to be a better version of herself. A person who would have been brave enough to admit her own feelings, taking all the opportunities they had to make it work. Now she shook her head, she had another opportunity. 

Emily was older, both of them were, they learned from past mistakes, relationships that were wrong, they had been each other's constant thing during years. Emily thinks that they must be meant to be if JJ came back from her. It's supposed to work, if she dreamt about her, it must mean something more than love solely from a friend. 

"You really should get checked in the hospital" Emily ponders taking her phone and deactivating the alarm on her phone, "But I believe that we can leave that for tomorrow"

"That means that.." Emily nods, she could go to London, maybe once a month or ask for her to be transferred back to the team. She had grown not very found of paperwork, "I'm going to stay"

Emily smiled at JJ’s reaction, a small smile in her face as the FBI profiler traced her lips with her index finger, making sure that she wanted it. Making sure that she was ready to experience a kiss that would change everything for then. “You can stop me, if you want” 

Emily chuckled, goosebumps were forming in the crown of her head, “We could start slowly as friends”. JJ shook her head and kissed her, a short peck was placed on Emily’s lips, barely noticeable, a firmer one was placed next to the corner of her mouth. 

“We were never supposed to be friends” Jennifer mutters close to her lips, before placing one more short kiss, Emily looked to be exhausted from the flight and JJ wanted nothing more to curl up with her. Like they sometimes did when they shared a room. 

“Hi” Emily murmurs, as they both lay next to each other, faces bare and clean, hearts relaxed and full. Something she had wished so many times already that it felt hopeless to even think about it. 

“Hey you” Jennifer replies playing with the only ring Emily had stayed with, her zodiac sign in it, a present she chose herself on the last birthday they spent together, “Just for the record, you already do exist in a way that comforts me”. They fall asleep together, pressed against each other, their bodies puzzled in a way that they were meant to be.

[maschotch]

I've gone a little deeper about Emily's past in my fic 'Unrequited' and 'As It Was'. I'm just obsessed with her character and the backstory both she and Hotch have. And I just finish reading the little backstory you did about Emily and I loved it!!

i’m really not much of a jemily fan (partly because i think fanon characterizations of jj are completely delusional, partly because i think fanon characterizations of emily are beyond insulting, and mostly because i cannot fucking fathom what anyone could possibly like about jj), but i went ahead and read those two pieces because i figured you came into my inbox already knowing that. it’s just… not how i see either of those characters. not even necessarily the shipping aspect, even ignoring my reservations about jj, but because of the way i think emily approaches relationships

this sounds hypocritical after writing about emily + family, but i feel like emily doesn’t really care about her biological family anymore. at least i’d like to. i’d like to think she’s accepted that she’ll never be what her mother wants and that she’ll never get what she wants from her mother. she’s 36 when she joins the bau—surely that’s enough time to realize she can’t hold onto those childish fantasies anymore. not that i disagree with what i wrote, i just think it's given her a complex ab family rather than it actually being something she truly craves. it was a setup for her life: she wasn't meant to be with others, which is something she eventually tries to change about herself

i’m a big fan of low-empathy emily, so i feel like she has to put active effort into caring about relationships. as a child raised by an extremely distant parent, she probably chalked it up to never having connections growing up, so she never learned how to make connections in the future. it’s easier to assume she’s broken, and it’s easier to blame her mom for it

but really, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with her, she’s just different. at some point i think she had to wrestle with that: it’s hard to think she fell into the job best suited for her personality just by coincidence. being a spy requires that cold, calculating observation and analysis of relationship dynamics. she can view things objectively because she isn’t naturally inclined to get emotionally attached. she can witness unfathomable horrors without a flinch—things that would rock jj to her core, things that would perturb the unflappable hotch. she knows she’s better equipped to handle those types of experiences because having empathy was never really a priority. (it's part of why i think she was the only one who could've walked through hotch's apartment that day: she wouldn't get distracted)  

that being said, i don’t think connections are impossible for her. the bau proves that, declan proves that. but i think that was a conscious choice on her part: she had seen enough—caused enough—pain and grief to realize that she should feel guilty for it. so i think she wakes up every day and decides to care. she decides to be a good person. eventually she confronts that she's tired of living a life she doesn't feel like she could be proud of

she’s not heartless, by any means. she just doesn’t become emotionally involved until she comes to the logical conclusion to do so. she has a soft spot for kids because they haven’t had a chance to truly know themselves and the world they live in. she loves the team because of how deeply connected they are to each other. so, when push comes to shove, she’s always willing to leave if it means keeping them together. it’s easy to make that choice because she loves them: in season 3 when the choice is between her and hotch and she knows hotch’s loss will devastate them; in season 6 when she’s making them potential targets for doyle’s vendetta; in season 7 when she feels the tension that never quite settled upon her return. i don’t know if any of the others would’ve made those decisions as easily, even if it was the best choice for them as a whole. not even hotch, who is terrified that his proximity is enough to hurt people he cares about. she’s detached in a way that can separate her from others, but she’s able to turn that into her strength: whether that means manipulating her way into terrorist organizations or walking away from the only chance at a family she's ever had just to keep them safe

i have my bits and pieces of evidence for it that i can scrounge into a semi-believable character analysis, but ultimately i think it’s so i can enjoy more of her character without getting irked by aspects of the archetypes she could fit that would typically annoy me. i’d like to think she’s above some of that: she’s too cool to have mommy issues, too badass to spend years pining over relationships, too self assured to be insecure about her decisions, too smart to let anyone see through her. 

i say all this as a hotch fan, who has traits very similar to these. but it suits him. it makes him more interesting, to know that there’s a vulnerability behind his stoic appearance. but with emily i think it’s far more admirable for her to choose to suffer because she wants to care. minimal loss is the perfect example of that: she makes the logical choice to put herself at risk because she wants to protect reid. she’s not running away from who she is anymore, and she’s not really fighting it either. she chooses to be a good person, not out of guilt or even love, but because it’s something she values. 

for me, emily is the cool brooding hero who could be a villain so easily. maybe, in an earlier time in her life, she was. but she’s done being selfish. she’s willing to make sacrifices for others because she decided that living by a code is better than living for nothing at all, even if it causes her pain. guilt and love—two burning sensations that were so opposite yet so intrinsically linked—were burdens she chose to bear so she wouldn’t feel so hollow anymore. and it does cause her pain. so, so much pain. to me, it makes her endlessly more fascinating. i’d rather her be a knife that dulls its edges than something soft chiseled to a jagged point. 

[natsvdova-old]

masterlist

disclaimer: some of these are really old fics posted on my other account, so if the link takes you to that account, i promise i’m not claiming that someone else’s work is mine, it’s still me.

all of my fics are tagged with #han writes stuff

marvel masterlist

natasha romanoff x reader

crazy for you 18+

no one knows that you and natasha are together, but nat wants nothing more than to get her hands on you whilst at a party with all your friends. a quickie in the bathroom.

natasha romanoff x bucky barnes

coming home

natasha desperately wants bucky to remember her and their time together in the red room, but what hope does she have when he doesn’t even remember his childhood best friend?

criminal minds masterlist

emily prentiss x reader

not meant to last

reader and emily's relationship was meant to be, but not meant to last - a breakup fic.

fluff alphabet

headcanons about dating emily prentiss, using a sfw/fluff alphabet as prompts.

emily prentiss x tsia mosely

beautiful ghosts

tsia and emily have always been best friends, unable to confess their love for each other.

emily prentiss x jennifer jareau

she needs a friend

emily's always had a crush on jj, but when she starts dating will, it becomes harder to ignore the pain of loving her when they'll always only just be friends.

emily prentiss x aaron hotchner

painful mortal affection

when emily ‘dies’ in the lauren arc, hotch is faced with the realisation that he doesn’t want to live without her

aaron hotchner x reader

closer to closure

months after reader and hotch break up, they see each other again at will and jj’s wedding

forever hold your peace

reader is getting married, but aaron realised that he wants them to marry him instead

bad hair day

reader has trichotillomania and is struggling with it, but aaron is there to comfort them

[flaminghotjareau]

i’m at the doyle arc in my rewatch and i would totally watch a spin-off based on the jtf-12 team, like just that phone conversation between emily, tsia and clyde at whatever park in dc was enough to convince me of their team dynamic, also i love tsia i wish she had been in the show for longer

[raffaelamusiker]

prosely for ship asks 👀

I'm gonna make this semi crack

Ship It

What made you ship it?

Me. I did. Okay no it was how jealous Emily got when Tsia told her she was engaged and then how worried Emily was for Tsia's safety and then how Emily reacted when Tsia died and also sweetie.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Everything and all of it, they are perfect and I love every verse and au of them. Top tier.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Prosely is better than Jemily lmao bye

[happenstobehere]

Are you ready 👀

1. My favourite fic of yours

‘Measure your life in love’ or ‘come along with me’ or ‘run your hands through my hair’.

2. My favourite chapter in my favourite fic

All the chapters of ‘whole again’ but especially when Tsia and Clyde come to see Emily.

3. The best character you’ve written for

The one and only Emily Prentiss. But your Seven is amazing too.

4. The best ship you’ve written for

Prosely and Saffi but I’m biased.

5. A fic I haven’t read yet from you but I want to

Impossible, I’ve read them all (I think).

6. Something I remember vividly from reading one of your fics

Polycule playing pokemon. How soft Tsia and Clyde are with little Emily 🥺

7. What made me the most emotional after reading

When you hit feelings right on the head and you speak the words that are hard to word sometimes.

8. What I like the most about your writing

That your moments can be super soft or heartbreaking and there’s no in between but that’s okay cause I love them all. And your resilience to keep going with writing even when it’s hard.

9. A fic that I’m excited for you updating/posting

Gimme that r/b/7 *grabby hands*

10. A character/ship I didn’t enjoy/think about as much

Penemily has never been my highest Emily ship but you write them best and I love them.

11. Something I wish/hope you write

r/b/7 and maybe some more prosely but I’m just being greedy.

12. A fic of yours that I’ve reread

Most of them I’d say but definitely all the Picard/Voyager ones.

13. If I’ve ever shared/talked about your fics

Obviously

14. A fic I didn’t expect to like so much

Impossible I have expected to like them all.

15. A question I have about one of your fics

More please that’s bestie ily

ahh thank you bestie ily. you didn’t have to answer them all that’s so soft 😭

r/b/7 is in the works and will be the next thing i post. prosely could happen too if i come up with any ideas 👀