#but for rue getting to know them better made the reveal more satisfying

[lovevalley45]

i haven’t seen anyone talking abt this but oscar saying he wanted to reveal rue’s true appearance in episode two,,, could u IMAGINE if we’d gotten that and the binx reveal in the same episode. the chaos that would have followed…

[allicekitty13]

I Got What I Wanted

With only ten more days until Alice's Christmas party Jasper is at a loss for what to get her. Will his friends be of any help? Will Alice like the results?

Read On Ao3

Read On FFN

There were only ten more days until Alice's Christmas party, and Jasper had a problem. He'd been dating his long time crush Alice Brandon since Halloween. Having been friends with the girl for a few years now, Jasper usually had no issue selecting a Christmas gift, yet the teen was at a loss as he brainstormed this year. Somehow, every time he thought about the girl who lit up his life with her energetic and loving personality, any gift he could think up felt far too insignificant. 

When Alice had agreed to a date that night, he'd stood stunned under the tree in her front yard. It was more than he'd expected, the only thing he needed. What did you get for the girl who came into your life like a whirlwind changing everything for the better? It was far too soon for an 'I love you,' but Jasper couldn't imagine his life without her. 

So with the clock ticking, Jasper knocked lightly on the doorway of his twin sister's bedroom. The door already open, he peeked inside to see the tall girl, sitting in front of the mirror intently analyzing her long hair. It was a silvery grey color from the Halloween dye incident, and roots were beginning to grow out, revealing her natural honey blonde shade. The girl cast him a quick glance nodding at him in a way that indicated he should enter. 

Jasper crossed the space sitting on the floor next to his twin as he leaned back against her bed. "Should I dye it again?" She asked offhandedly, playing with some loose strands. "I'm thinking blue." 

"It would look cool, but dad would probably kill you." He shrugged.

"Nah, I'm the favorite." Rosalie giggled, finally turning to face him. "So, what's up?"

"I don't know what to get Alice for Christmas. Nothing I think of feels right."

"Did you look at her list?"

Being a very particular person, Alice had posted an itemized wish list to her Facebook the day after Thanksgiving. There were items in every price range ranked from most to least desired and links to order them. If anyone else had done this, it would have come off as narcissistic, but it was oddly charming coming from Alice.  

"Yeah, obviously, I started there like I always do. Nothing feels right, though. Like... I feel like just picking something off a list feels so impersonal. And I... really really like her, Rose. I just want it to be perfect." 

"Well," She rose from her spot sitting crosslegged in front of the mirror, crossed the room, and grabbed her purse from its place hanging from a hook by the door before turning to look at her brother. "Looks like we need to go shopping."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately for Jasper, there were now five days until Alice's party. The shopping trip had been a bust, at least for Jasper; Rosalie had a blast in Rue 21, leaving the mall with a satisfied grin and plenty of shopping bags. The amount of time to order something online was quickly dwindling, and he still had no idea. 

This was how he found himself on The Swan's doorstep at 9:00pm on a Sunday. Charlie Swan opened the door to find a very distressed Jasper and wordlessly stepped aside, allowing the teen entrance into his home. Once inside, Jasper climbed the stairs and walked into Emmett's room without knocking, thankful to find both Bella and Emmett were already waiting. 

"Dude," Emmett asked, not looking up from his game of Halo. "What was with the SOS?" 

"He still hasn't gotten Alice anything for Christmas." Bella chimed in from her step-brother's armchair, where she sat tossing a baseball in the air. 

"How did you know that?" Jasper asked from the doorway.

"Rosalie told me because she obviously can't tell Alice. But," Bella picked up her phone from where it rested next to her on Emmett's desk and tossed it to Jasper, who caught it despite her terrible aim. "You're in luck; I went ahead and pulled up some options she would like that aren't on her list of demands."

"It's not a list of demands, Bells." Emmett, who was still focused intently on his game, scolded his sibling. 

On Bella's phone, she'd pulled up an Amazon list she'd compiled titled 'Alice.' most of the selections didn't catch his attention, but a book on fashion history that was unfortunately far outside of his price range did catch his eye. He made a mental note to mention the book to Alice's mom as he handed the phone back to Bella.

"Nothing?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. 

"Nope," Jasper replied as he flopped backward onto Emmett's bed and threw an arm over his eyes. "I'm so stressed about this; it has to be perfect. The pressure is going to drive me insane."

"Pressure you're putting on yourself, dude." Emmett finally paused his game and turned to focus on his friend. "Alice loves you, man, you could get that girl a balloon, and she'd treasure the damn thing." 

"I would like to do at least marginally better than a balloon," Jasper groaned. "This is hopeless; I'm overthinking it. I'll end up getting her nothing at this rate."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually, the day of the party came, Jasper was eating his words from the conversation with Emmett. He had, in fact, come up with nothing. He was sitting in Alice's living room, watching his friends have a great time. Frosty The Snowman was playing out on the TV, and the group was watching intently. Everyone except for Jasper; the teen sat with an arm wrapped around Alice, who was happily snuggled into his side with her feet extended across the couch hanging over Bella's lap. He found it near impossible to focus on the classic film; it was Christmas Eva, and as soon as the cartoon ended, the group would be saying their goodbyes. 

As soon as their friends were gone, he would be expected to hand over a gift to his girlfriend. Knowing he had shown up empty-handed was causing him distress as he tried to treasure the moment, sure Alice would be so disappointed she would dump him on the spot. Maybe, he thought to himself, he should have at least picked up a balloon. 

The movie ended too soon for Jasper's liking. He hung back, allowing Alice, ever the perfect hostess, to see all of her guests off. If he thought the movie ended too quickly, that was nothing compared to the short amount of time it took for Edward, the final member of their group, to head home. 

"So!" Alice plopped down on the couch next to Jasper, facing him with her legs tucked beneath her body. "I see you got the movie all pulled up." 

The pair had planned to watch 'Holiday Inn,' Alice's favorite Christmas movie, once it was just the two of them. Feeling quite guilty enough as it was, Jasper had gone ahead and sat up the DVD while his girlfriend was occupied. 

"Is there anything you wanna tell me first?" When Jasper remained silent, she continued with a knowing grin. "Like how you didn't get me anything?"

"Wha... how did you know." 

"Please," Alice giggled, launching forward to give him a hug. "You should know by now that I know everything." 

"You're not mad?"

"Nope," Alice snuggled into his chest as she reached for the remote sitting on the arm of the couch. "You hate old movies, and you hate musicals. And yet, watching this tonight was your suggestion. That's your gift to me, spending time doing something I love."

"Alice, I..."

"Shut up and watch the movie, babe."

As the black and white musical's opening scenes began to play, Jasper relaxed into the moment. It might be too soon for 'I love you,' but he found himself biting back the words anyway.

[hopelesstvaddict]

ASOUE’S CONVOLUTED PLOT COMES TO ITS FINAL DENOUEMENT

It all led to this. With The Penultimate Peril, ASOUE manages to encompass all the ingredients that made its success - adults being incompetent, children being too bright for their own good, self-deriding humor and dry fourth wall-breaking, big emotional moments (good and bad), secret organizations and of course, how could it not end up in flames ? The Penultimate Peril sees the Baudelaires arriving at the Hotel Denouement, which again channels Wes Anderson - The Grand Budapest Hotel, anyone ? - along with Kit who of course, cannot go with them because the too rare adults who seem competent at what they’re doing cannot be too helpful. Otherwise, where is all the fun ? Kit explains that the concierge of the hotel are twins, Frank and Ernest (both played by Max Greenfield), with each one belonging to one side of VFD. The entire first part of this penultimate installment is dedicated to a funny and intriguing detective game where the three children try to discover who is the mysterious J.S who has summoned (almost) the entirety of VFD while balancing their interactions with the aforementioned concierges. Going up and down the immense hotel - a grandiloquent retro-chic styled set reminiscent of the luxurious Squalor appartment, only make it ten times bigger - yields hilarious situations such as the oblivious children asking ‘Are you Frank or Ernest ?’ and getting a simple ‘Yes’ as an answer, the darkly noir-ish giant clock which has nothing better than to utter the word ‘Wrong’ each time it rings, or the numerous returning guest stars.

Because yes, just like in the book, it seems all the people that the Baudelaire orphans ever encountered on their disastrous misadventures - everyone that managed to survive, that is - is somehow present in this hotel. If this sounds like a big reunion for a grand finale, that’s perhaps not too far-stretched because this two-parter actually works as a finale of some sort. In addition to Mr Poe (sans Mrs Poe, unfortunately), we are happy to reunite with Larry-Your-Waiter (Patrick Breen), still trying and failing to be helpful, Babs (Kerri Kenney-Silver), Vice Principal Nero (Roger Bart) - who himself introduces a seemingly random piece of information on the deeds of Prufrock Preparatory; of course, this show has taught us to never let anything slip past our attention and this late in the game, this cannot not be relevant to the rest of the story - and Jerome Squalor (Tony Hale), still bitter and completely afraid of his ex-wife (though he technically still refuses the validity of the ‘ex’). Originally, Sir (Don Johnson) and Charles (Rhys Darby) were also present; due to the actors’ unavailability, they were written out. Given how this whole event ends, it’s perhaps for the best but Jerome still undirectly mentions Charles, referring to he and himself as an item.

The whole guessing over the identity of J.S is compelling enough for those who like me, had forgotten the book. There are enough characters with the initials to fit the bill, chief among them the dearly departed Jacques Snicket (Nathan Fillion who unfortunately only appears in a photo). But Jacquelyn Scieszka, Jerome Squalor, Justice Strauss (Joan Cusack) or Julio Sham could also be candidates. The first part of the installment culminates in the ‘denouement’ of the J.S mystery as well as the Frank/Ernest question, introducing one last VFD member, fan-favorite Dewey Denouement, the triplet to Frank and Ernest (because in this series, everything works better in threes). It must be said that Max Greenfield does a great job in portraying the three brothers. The show makes the relationship between Dewey and Kit more explicit than it was in the books, which allows two things. First, a sense of shock and suspense, as the pair is seen kissing and we are made to believe we are seeing Ernest, the evil brother; second, it makes it that much harder to watch when another trusted ally is ripped away from the Baudelaires. Just like Olivia (Sara Rue) at the end of last season, Dewey meets an untimely death, only this time, Olaf is not (really) to blame. The scene in question, which caps off Part One, is beautifully framed as everything unravels for both the orphans and Olaf himself who finally alienates himself from Esme. Lucy Punch really nails the break-up scene and leave it to ASOUE to finish it off with a daddy joke. But it’s really the subsequent scene that follows which is the real highlight of this first part. As Olaf threatens to harpoon Dewey, Violet, Klaus and Sunny all place themselves in front of him and reason with him over the attempted murder. It’s really the culmination of the twisted relationship they reluctantly, unwittingly developed - no more running, no more hiding on the part of the children, and no more chasing them around on his account. The face-off could very well be amplified to epic levels. Instead, it is handled subtly, quietly and in a very soothing way. Olaf’s arc continues to evolve and we see the facade cracking further. The Man With A Beard But No Hair and The Woman With Hair But No Beard may play a villainous role in The Penultimate Peril but overall as characters, they are more like the Sugar Bowl, narrative devices used to propel their former pupil forward, rather than formidable adversaries on their own.

The scene ends with one of the most beautiful cinematography the series has achieved yet (in fact, the whole episode is aesthetically wonderful) with the dead Dewey floating above the secret underground library that no one knows the existence of, now that its owner is dead. But again, this is upstaged by the next scene, which reveals the long-suspected identity of a cab driver who offers the Baudelaires a ride to safety after the catastrophe they caused. This season, Patrick Warburton gets to interact with the rest of the cast as his Lemony meets for the first (and only) time the Baudelaires. While the scene is insignificant for the children themselves, present-day Lemony goes to great lengths to explain how this brief and failed meeting caused him regrets and prompted him to go on his investigation about the lives of the orphans, which is essentially the premise of the whole show.

The second part is dedicated to Olaf's trial in what could be a reference to the Seinfeld finale which staged a similar story for its own conclusion. With the show coming to an end, it finally brings satisfying answers as to the backstory of VFD and the fateful night at the opera that provoked the schism. After 23 episodes of obscure references and mentions, Beatrice (Morena Baccarin) finally makes an (instantly delightful) appearance. The flashback is compelling and while clearly a toned-down adaptation of what transpired in the books, it does work in terms of explaining what turned Olaf against the Baudelaire and Snicket families. Back in the present, the trial allows Olaf, the Baudelaires (in their iconic book outfits! I swear, the love and respect for the book material sometimes really amazes me) and Esme to shine as they each take the stand. The theme of morality comes back in full stance as Olaf turns the table on the children and forces them to admit that in surviving, they too have sometimes indulged in grey areas. It's an arc that played out for two seasons and seeing the Baudelaires finally come to terms with it is a good payoff.

This being the de-facto finale, the producers pack as much as they can and there are many references to the show's trademarks - Olaf is cut short in one of his musical numbers, several recurring phrases return - but not so much as character arcs closure. Larry is the only definite casualty of the episode - the death itself was (kind of) hilariously stupid and fitting for the character but it is a bit unnerving to really think about it and about the contrast it draws when Olaf later cannot bring himself to kill the Baudelaires - but the fates of the giant supporting cast is left dangling in the air as the episode comes to a fiery end. Olaf plans to poison the entirety of VFD with the Medusoid Mycelium but he needs the Sugar Bowl first. The Baudelaires convince him to burn the hotel instead, stemming from the logic that a fire will be slower than the poisonous fungus and will allow some to escape. That's unfortunately overestimating the capacity of reasonable logic from the adults in this show and we are treated with a delightful scene where the Baudelaires try to warn various characters of the danger only to be rebuffed; even when adults do believe them, there is nothing further they can do. And so we bid goodbye to Esme, Carmelita, Mr Poe and pretty much all who assembled at the hotel. The feeling is perhaps frustrating but that's exactly how it happened in the books and at this point, the story has worked itself enough to not make us care that much about the characters that are left behind. I must say that I have never seen fire depicted so strangely beautifully anywhere else. The visuals really defy the expectations I had when imagining those fires as I read them.

The Baudelaires sail off with Olaf with two more lessons; justice can be blind sometimes, courtesy of the Man With A Beard But No Hair and the Woman With Hair But No Beard, and sometimes you do fight fire with fire. In trying to prevent Olaf from mass-murdering an entire hotel, they have possibly achieved the same result. The fire thus destroys almost the entirety of VFD, both sides of the schism, all evidence that could damn Olaf and perhaps the Sugar Bowl which was dropped in the secret library. This could very well work as the final scenes of the series. So many things are now resolved. We know the backstory of VFD and now it does not exist anymore. We have searched and failed at finding the Sugar Bowl and now it doesn't exist anymore. We have tried to prove that Olaf is guilty and we have (kind of) but the proof does not exist anymore and we instead have come to the realization that the Baudelaires are not as pure as they want to appear. In terms of what this series was about, this is as close to full-circling as it can get and as good a sign that the end is near as the visual clues - none better than the opening scene from the season premiere where Lemony walks through the now-decaying underground tunnels. Present-day Lemony continues his monologues in those tunnels, repeating that for him, the story of the Baudelaires stops here as he lost all traces of them. Past Lemony is seen sharing a heartfelt moment with Beatrice which explains why he's been on the run all series long and features, for longtime fans, his iconic declaration of love, in a toned-down version of its original form as it appeared in The Beatrice Letters. (If you have nothing else to do, treat yourself to the entirety of it, you won't regret it. As Beatrice says, he 'always had a way with words'.)

To complete the many parallels harkening back to the beginnings, we are treated to a reprise of the song ‘That’s Not How The Story Goes’ while moments from the past seasons recap the unfortunate series of events that graced our screens for three years.

The Slippery Slope | The Grim Grotto | The Penultimate Peril | The End

[christinaroseandrews]

Part 1

First off, I’m going to have to break this review up into pieces. I’ve got too much to rant about - complete with screen grabs - that tumblr will hate me. Not to mention, I want to show you the pain and then talk about some of the more salient problems with this book in depth. 

A little over a month and a half ago I said I was going to do something stupid. I was going to read my way through Faleena Hopkins’ book You Don’t Know Me. I got through the first half in a fairly decent clip - the writing was not good, the characters weren’t good, the plots were flying more than mosquitoes in summer... and then I got to the part where I just started continually shouting.

Laws of physics, laws of nature, laws of storytelling were all thrown aside as if they were garbage and then literal garbage was shoved into its place.

This was not a good book. This is not me ragging on her as an author. But I am not joking when I say I’ve read stuff by actual teenagers that was much, much better than this. And because I had to suffer through it, you have to suffer through my ranting.  Aren’t I nice?

The story takes a common trope “Secret Love Child” and combines it with another “The Missing Heir” and adds a dash of “Draco in Leather Pants” and “Poor Little Rich Boy” into the mix. By the way, if you can’t guess, TV Tropes is my wiki-walk rabbit hole and I have no regrets. The same cannot be said for this book.

Rue Calliwell (and I don’t care if I misspell the name - the author doesn’t; why should I?) is trying to make it in Los Angeles. She works the graveyard shift at a local grocery store while trying to catch her big break as a dancer. When Jack Stone, one of America’s Famous Billionaire Playboys, suddenly appears on her doorstep hopping mad, she wonders what died in his Wheaties and maybe if she can kiss away the frown he’s fixing her with. (Yep, she’s dreaming about some brother banging.) After dragging the story out for way too long, it’s finally revealed that Rue is the bastard daughter of Jack’s father and that he’s been embezzling from his company to stock up an inheritance of $50 million that has Rue’s name all over it. If she refuses the money, it goes to the KKK and she can’t allow that to happen. While her other brother, Sean, treats her to a Pretty Woman makeover, Jack wrangles their best friend Alec (and super hot lead singer of a band that’s never mentioned and isn't important to the plot in any way) to seduce his sister and then break her heart. Because that’s what all pissed off brothers do, dontcha know? 

So where do I even begin with this?

How about at the beginning... I have over 120 notes that I made on this as I read it. I’ll share some of them with you.

This is the opening paragraph to this book. There is so much wrong with this I just can’t even. From the random thought, to the run-on sentence (a Faleena Hopkins Trademark), to the weird-ass descriptors. Frowning Forehead? Are there lips on this forehead? Another face? Not to mention that there are missing en-dashes and it’s in a confusing tense. (Most of the book is in first person/present tense... because of the contraction, the sentence can be read as both present and past tense.)

The story introduces us to Rue, Jack, and Sean in pretty short order. Rue is supposed to be the heroine. The one we’re rooting for. Jack is the antagonist. One of the two wronged brothers and the one who thinks that Rue has an agenda. He is not a nice character. Then there’s Sean who is too good for this world and is written like every single stereotypical gay best friend but he’s got a “SECRET!” You have one guess what that is going to be.

If you can’t tell, this is in reference to Jack. But not only do we have a wild apostrophe, but we also have Exorcist levels of neck contortion. Not to mention a super awkward sentence.

This is also a Faleena Hopkins Trademark.

See...

I also mentioned that the story was in need of a good editor. Not just a proofreader, but an actual story doctor who could prune the 15 or so subplots down to something manageable while actually giving us a romance. Not a sex story shoved into a family drama. By the way, this story BARELY qualifies as a romance and I’m not totally convinced it is. The main characters end up together, but it is in no way satisfying and the focus of the story wasn’t on the relationship. More on that later.

But let’s go back to the editing.

Sorry about the italics not translating between Goodreads (where I can access my notes) and what’s in the actual book.  Trust me when I say that this woman hasn’t met an italic she didn’t love, except when she should use them.

As you can see, there are now enough errors for me to mark it down a star for poor proofreading.  And I’m not even a quarter of my way through this. The errors continued including something I find a death knell... the author spelling her main character’s name wrong. I’m not going to bother sharing more of her proofreading errors, unless they are really eye-roll enducing.

Another reason why this book is so bad is because the foreshadowing is heavy-handed as fuck. Like I’m going to hit you over a brick with it but I want you to act surprised when the reveal takes place. It’s that bad.

Here’s one of the most egregious examples.

We didn’t get the actual reveal of what was in the summary until 7% of the way into the book. Which is 21 pages and 5 Chapters into the book. Even then, the author played with it for a while, making it so that Rue didn’t believe the lawyer and thought this was some elaborate reality show prank. Yeah.

The author also wasn’t terribly good at hiding her foreshadowing.

This was in the character’s head. You don’t hide that kind of thing in your own head. It’s why most mystery writers don’t write from the POV of the killer, “The Strange Case of Roger Ackroyd” aside. It gives away the mystery. Coupled with the over abundance of POVs and this heavy handed handling of the character. I would have dropped this plot line entirely.... More on this later.  Trust me, what goes on with Sean is a rant in and of itself and is enough for me to rate this one star.

Now let’s get into the flashback portion and will portion of the plot.

This is where the first gif really starts showing through.

Part of me really wanted to send Hopkins the Wikipedia article on cancer. The other part of me wondered: if this is what she considers hyperbole, then what other horrors did I have in store?

I shouldn’t have asked.

This is brought up, but never actually addressed. Also I need to talk about how the father gave Rue the money. He gave it to her in a lump sum. $50 million. Not a trust. Not a foundation. Just here! Cash!

The author tries to address it later. But fails.

And that’s assuming that there aren’t locality taxes and again congrats you’re in a higher income bracket.

The biggest problem with this is that the father would know better. Or have the money offshore... not something that would be transferred into a U.S. checking account to make the IRS piddle their pants like an errant puppy. The father who claims to have loved the mother and the daughter, would make sure that the daughter had the money to keep her comfortable for the rest of her life and not able to spend it or give it away all in one go.

I used to work for a lawyer’s office who specialized in estate planning (and real estate) - in most cases, if you have more than $250,000 in assets that will survive your death, it’s recommended to have a trust because the federal government takes so much.

These tricks are one of the many ways that the rich stay rich.

As I mentioned before Rue gets a makeover, courtesy of Sean.

I’m thinking of the now deleted video of hers... But here’s the author.

So of course from here on out, I’m picturing Faleena as Rue... which did not help matters.

The reason why I say this is a nice lampshade is literally until she finds out that Jack and Sean are her brothers, she’s fantasizing about sleeping with them and kissing them.  Which again is “Ew!!!” for the reader and not funny and kinda crosses the pseudo-incest vibe that Amazon will allow and goes into Incest because again, we the reader know what the score is, it’s in the damned summary.

This is a huge problem in the book. The sainted mother who died of the mystical cancer is the sole woman who doesn’t get the slut/bitch/sexist treatment. Huge problem. Not even Jenna is immune (which happens later) and Jenna falls into another bad trope which I will get to later.

There’s more, but let me tell you, headhopping in the first person, present tense is tough. You’re deep into one character’s head. That takes talent.

Crappy talent. But talent.

This is where I’m going to stop my first post. We’ve just got the first mention of the love interest, Alec. And opened up another problem.

How is Alec Sean and Jack’s only friend? I say this as someone whose best friends growing up were identical twins. Most siblings, especially those that aren’t twins, won’t have the same bestie. They don’t want the same bestie. It’s a thing. They may have friends in common, but most best friends tend to be someone else. Mostly so they have someone they can rant to about the other.

If you think this is bad, wait until you meet Alec and the new siblings have a night on the town.

It’s going to be great....

If you want to support reviews like this consider donating to our Kofi!

[shslmahoushoujo]

Covering the rest of :RE in 12 episodes

Well, I did say I wanted to sit down and figure out how you could possibly do chapters 59-179 in 12 episodes. What I’m running with here is the assumption that it’ll hit the same major plot points without being exactly the same plot, in fact, I did a fair bit of cutting and changing things to lead to the same ending, and I thought also about which cuts could make this ending feel more satisfying, too. General outline and explanation of why I’d do certain things a certain way like this. And no, this is not the 10 chapters an episode solution you’d need to cover it otherwise. And of course, needless to say, after the cut I’ll be going into spoilers, so if you’re anime-only, I’d advise staying away from this post.

So let’s start with some general notes: First, I’d cut Koma and Irimi except for their reveal as living Quinques. Kaneki's fast aging and weaker regeneration would not be addressed, and he’d never turn into Dragon, avoiding a fair bit of issues raised with the finale. Tooru’s downfall storyline would be cut off preemptively by the Qs confronting him, parts of the Clown Siege would make their way into Rue, and the recording of Eto-Furuta conversation would be made public following Cochlea/Rue, allowing compression of content between 100-156. The Clown Siege and Dragon arc would be merged heavily, with only some aspects of the 24th ward arc remaining. Urie and Kuroiwa would join Amon and Yomo in going after the clowns, Saiko wouldn’t get infected and would have a more active role, and since we’d have aspects of the Clown Siege, Touka and the White Suits would be busy aiding people and rejoin the fight at the end rather than a sudden Naki revival and Touka just waiting. Anyway. Here’s how I’m thinking it could work.

- Episode 1: Chapters 59-63. Set up the upcoming conflict, set up the idea of humans and ghouls coming together through Eto's book and the concept of the One Eyed King.

- Episode 2: Chapters 64-68. Beginning of the conflict, first proper look into Kaneki's mindset, promise to kill the One Eyed King, Kaneki's martyr complex.

- Episode 3: Chapters 69-74. :RE enters the fray, battle against Arima, Furuta makes his move, Kaneki's new kakuja, crusher cliffhanger.

- Episode 4: Chapters 75-76, Cochlea parts of 81-86. Defeat and death of Arima, defeat of Eto, truths revealed (Marude and Yoshitoki scenes from Rue remain), reveal of the One-Eyed King and the meaning of :RE.

- Episode 5: Chapters 77-80, Rue parts of 81-85, 87. Tooru's transformation, mystery of the dead Special Class and follower's suicide, Suzuya vs. Kurona seen through to the end, cliffhanger with Seidou and Akira.

- Episode 6: Chapters 88-95. End of Tatara. Akira's inner conflict and Tooru's descent into darkness, fights with Seidou and Amon. Battles in Kanou's lab and the playground. Arrival of the Qs to the scene.

- Episode 7: Chapters 96-98, Clown Siege and Dragon aspects. Battle between the Qs and Amon, but Amon escapes. Kaneki's part of the group that arrives in Rue, so Kaneki and Amon's encounter from the lab arc happens here. Kanou's suicide from 149, Kimi and Nishiki reunion. Conflict between the Qs and Tooru over Tooru's actions against Akira (new version of Dragon arc event).

- Episode 8: New version of chapters 113-120, last page of 98, chapter 99. Attack on Matsuri from 116, battle between Takizawa and Amon; conversations between Kaneki/Touka and Amon/Akira, Furuta obtaining power and reveal of Rize alive, formation of Goat.

- Episode 9: Furuta and Kaneki conversation from 100/101, some major plot points between 121-149. Recording forces Furuta to force his hand and unleash dragon, destruction of :RE, Touken happens. Humans turning into ghouls, dragon orphans appear, chaos in the streets. Goat reconvenes in the 24th ward, Hide finds them and begins arranging the alliance.

- Episode 10: Aspects of 127, major plot points between 150-168, aspects of Clown Siege. Kimi determines the origin of Dragon and that humans are suffering from ROS. Goat rescues people above ground and forms the alliance with the CCG. The alliance unites against Furuta/Clowns/V, Clowns and V attack with some controlled humans and controlled Eto (mix of Clown Siege and Dragon fights). Urie, Kuroiwa, Amon and Yomo go to face off against the Clowns. Kaneki and Ayato head underground and are forced to separate.

- Episode 11: Chapters 169-174, new version of the office fight with Roma and Shikorae. Climactic battles against the clowns. Urie and Kuroiwa face Roma and Shikorae, and Urie faces the truth about how he felt about his father. Yomo and Uta face off, Amon stands up against his own demons and defeats Donato. Kaneki fights and overcomes Furuta.

- Episode 12: Chapters 175-179. Furuta's death, human-ghoul alliance takes down V thanks to the assist from Eto and the White Suits, humans controlled by Donato are saved following his death. Kaneki faces off against Rize/Rize's death, finale happens.

Would it fix all of the issues? No. But a few. Kuroiwa would certainly be in bad shape following the fight with Roma and Shikorae, but without Furuta stabbing his neck, his survival is more believable. And having Urie be part of the group fighting the clowns would succeed at having Donato address the stuff with Urie’s father (which could connect with Amon’s development) while still allowing him to reach his development from 137.

You might notice there’s also another glaring omission: The oggai. I thought a lot about this, and frankly, I think cutting them is for the better in this case. For one, because of time; but two, because their death is never really addressed the way it should’ve been and I think Kaneki not going on his dragon-transformation rampage would make the ending more palatable without that one issue.

Then there’s Tooru. Having Urie decide to act when he thinks about it in a prior chapter and confront him on his actions rather than just staying quiet and fighting Amon is a perfect way to cut off that storyline before it really gets moving, and it both avoids controversy and makes it possible to compress a hell of a lot of content.

Kaneki’s arc would be the most interesting to work around. The main thing is that he stagnates a lot between 100-159 and he makes a lot of bad choices due to it. It’d take some finesse, but I think it’d be possible to have him get to his post 159 self not long after Cochlea. My idea has him showing some presence in Rue (which I feel was originally meant to happen but never did, but that’s another topic) which gets some of his Clown Siege development set, he internalizes it and is a bit more mature when forming Goat, and by the time Touken happens he’s got a better head on his shoulders than when it happened in the manga.

There’s probably more I could say about my reasoning here, but I think I’ll end this here before I lose my train of thought. Even if the anime doesn’t go this direction (it could go for 144+movie or even the dreaded 10 chapters an episode) it certainly was a fun exercise in thinking and I honestly just really want to see how it actually plays out. I’m pretty damn excited!

And just a little final addition. One of the main things I tried here was adding actual original content, but rather just recontextualizing, merging, and reordering canon events to make this work out. And working this like a puzzle in a way is fun. If the screenplay is any similar to this, I can see why the writer would call it a bold arrangement though. It’s not just slap things together, understanding the manga nicely makes it easier to know what to cut and so on. It was good times.

[the-master-cylinder]

SUMMARY Police Superintendent Bellaver, investigating the murder and mutilation of two young women and the disappearance of a young athlete, learns from American pathologist David Sorel that the women’s bodies had been drained of blood. Helen Bradford, a police decoy, lures the suspected killer into the open, and police handcuff him. He proves to possess superhuman strength, however, and escapes by tearing off his hand and racing to the clinic of Dr. Browning, where he leaps into a vat of acid. Meanwhile, Konratz, a mysterious foreign agent who is systematically eliminating his political enemies, blackmails British agent Fremont into persuading Scotland Yard to halt the investigation of the “vampire killings.” Although unauthorized to continue work on the case, Sorel and Helen go to Dr. Browning’s mansion and discover a modern operating room. They are caught by Dr. Browning, who reveals that he is creating human bodies by transplanting limbs and organs to form a perfect composite; the missing athlete was used for his strong arms and legs. Konratz, the mastermind behind the scheme, arrives and fights with Browning for allowing the murders to interrupt his political maneuvers. In the ensuing struggle, Konratz throws Browning into the vat, and Fremont arrives in time to save Helen and Sorel by pushing Konratz into the acid along with his victim.

Gordon Hessler

Interview with Gordon Hessler

 How did you get along with Christopher Wicking for the first time on that film? Gordon Hessler: He’s a highly intelligent fellow, very witty. He’s a wonderful guy. On SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN, he did extraordinary work on the script. That was really a pulp book, a throwaway book that you read on a train. There was nothing in it, just empty pieces of action. But it was Chris who gave it a whole new level by using it as a political process of what might happen in the future. That is what made the picture, he’s the one that came up with all those ideas, yet he still managed to keep the nuances of the sort of pulp fiction novel. He was a fine writer, I thought. He had some very good ideas. It’s funny because we never thought much of those films. They were just formula pictures as far as we were concerned, but we enjoyed making them. The problem was what do you do with a script, how do you solve a problem?

SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN is an extraordinary film, very different from the typical Poe/Price cycle. Was AIP happy with it? Gordon Hessler: Well, they didn’t know what the film was about and were always questioning what I was doing. The editor kept assuring them that everything was fine, but they didn’t quite know what they had as a picture. I’m sure they were a little queasy when that film came out because Arkoff had to try and sell it. We knew we had a good film. It was different. It was a science fiction film really, but the thing is, although the pulp book was very badly written, once Chris Wicking had put the nucleus of that idea into it, it elevated the whole picture and made it much more interesting. But all these pictures were made so quickly with so little money, I think we shot that in three or four weeks. But we had fun making it.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

You had Christopher Lee in small parts in THE OBLONG BOX and SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN. How did you get along with him? Gordon Hessler: I got on very well with Christopher Lee. He became even more talented as he moved on in his career. I was quite surprised at how good he was in certain movies. When you’re shooting, you’re so busy and you never really get to know the actors very well. You meet them and they get a sense of what you want, and then you don’t see them again because they’re off doing another picture. I think that the thing with a horror picture is that you have to convince your actors to believe in what they’re doing. You really have to get embellished in it and enjoy it.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

You also worked with Peter Cushing in SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN. Gordon Hessler: I really didn’t get to know him because he was put into the picture. That was Deke Heyward’s idea. Deke would try to find some well known actor to dress up the picture who at least Americans would be familiar with which was a good idea. He did the same thing with Lilli Palmer in MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE. When I was doing the AIP pictures, I tried to keep a stable of actors and give them different roles. They were so wonderful, and they had to work for practically nothing. Since I was producing and directing, I had to go to the actors and tell them that I could only offer them so much, and that they could take it or leave it. It’s not that I was in a situation to bargain with them. I just didn’t have it in the budget. When you only have £70,000 and you’re working in a large studio, everybody else got screwed these actors. Hopefully they get some residuals of some kind, I’m not sure.

Did you enjoy working with the great horror stars: Vincent Price, Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing? Gordon Hessler: Vincent Price is an extraordinary man. We had a prince from Nigeria come to lunch with us at the Shepperton Studios, we were showing him around the place and we asked Vincent if he wouldn’t mind coming along. Many actors have to talk about themselves or their careers and so on, but not one word of that from Vincent. All he talked about was African art, by region and in such detail that this prince was absolutely amazed Vincent Price is a wonderful personality. Christopher Lee is made of much sterner stuff: very exacting, very correct. But he was very well educated and has a great deal of charm. I enjoyed working with him as well. Peter Cushing is just a wonderful individual to work with. You couldn’t have a better professional.

One complaint about Scream and Scream Again is that none of those stars have scenes together. Gordon Hessler: That was an unfortunate thing, but it just worked out that way. It was a last-minute “Deke” Heyward decision to try to get all three stars together in one picture, and we hadn’t designed Scream and Scream Again for anything like that.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

DEVELOPMENT/PRODUCTION SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN is a picture that turned out well almost by accident. Amicus producers Max J. Rosenberg and Milton Subotsky were developing a screenplay based on a pulp novel by Peter Saxon, The Disoriented Man, AIP agreed to co-produce the film.

For Scream and Scream Again, we got a pulp magazine story, which if you read, you know was just trash, but the ingenuity that Chris Wicking brought to it made it a film of a much grander scale. It was ahead of its time. and we tried to figure out some kind of stylistic approach. But again, these films were made in three and four weeks.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

When Michael Reeves dropped out, Heyward considered Hessler a trustworthy replacement. Hessler remembers meeting with Reeves during pre-production, and said Reeves was quite sick at the time and was undergoing shock treatments. Christopher Wicking was brought in to rewrite the script, but there was only so much that could be done within the framework of what AIP wanted from the picture, so Hessler was left with the problem of trying to make an interesting film from a script neither he nor his star was satisfied with.

Interview with Producer Louis M. Heyward

Louis M. Heyward

How much contact did you have with Milton Subotsky and Max Rosenberg (of Amicus Pictures) in making Scream and Scream Again? Louis M. Heyward: Quite a bit. They brought in the project, which was a paperback, and they were two guys full of enthusiasm. If I recall correctly, I had Subotsky thrown off the set. and Rosenberg allowed to come on. I felt there was too much interference going on. They were earnest. they were well-meaning, but they got in the way of production. I didn’t have that much traffic with them. but it was very difficult. I don’t bar people from sets too frequently, but when you’re trying to protect time and a budget. you have no recourse. You can’t fight about the little things.

Hessler says Subotsky’s script was so bad it was unusable. Louis M. Heyward: Chris Wicking was brought in and together with Gordon they fixed it. Because it was a script that had not come from Hollywood, we could get away with tinkering with it. I was protecting the future I hoped to have when I left AIP!

It was your idea to put all three of the horror kings-Price, Lee and Cushing—into Scream and Scream Again. Did it work well? Louis M. Heyward: Not as well as it could have. It was interesting to have them all in the same film, but they should have had the contretemps between them, utilizing all three in one scene in a face-to-face showdown. But there was no way of working it in; we just brought them in to take advantage of the names. for marquee value.

Cushing was the one that got the short end of the stick. Louis M. Heyward: He really did. I played that film just the other night and I asked myself, “Why did he accept it?” I think the reason is, the British are so damn nice as actors again, they’re good soldiers and they’ll do what they’re told. They’re dear. sweet people and they’re professionals.

Any other Scream and Scream Again anecdotes? Louis M. Heyward: I felt Michael Gothard was going to be the biggest thing that ever happened. He had that insane look and that drive, and he was wonderful. Here is a kid who really threw himself into the picture wholeheartedly. Do you remember the scene where he appears to be walking up the cliff? That’s a stunt that I would not have agreed to; I’d say, “Hey. get a double or get a dummy. I ain’t either one.” But the kid agreed to do it, without a double-he was that driven. He had a lot of class and a lot of style. Gordon came up with the idea of using an overhead cable to give that illusion of his walking up the cliff.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Said Hessler, “Vincent was concerned, and he had every right to be, with the scripts that were whipped up. He had a contract to make three pictures, and I had to make four. So you had to make it. They’d already sold the picture from the poster, so the script came and you worked on it. All you could go for was the melodrama and try to be interesting with camera angles.”

This time, working from the ground up, rather than revising someone else’s script, Wicking contrived an extremely intricate and convoluted tale which far exceeds the source material. The novel, unlike the film, was about invaders from space. Hessler was given a free hand to direct as he pleased. The final cut went out exactly as he intended, rather surprising when one considers AIP’s later tampering with Hessler’s MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE (1971), but as Heyward explained, the product was never as important as the deal, claiming that the film was left alone because AIP had booking deadlines to meet.

The movie is based on Peter Saxon’s science fiction novel The Disorientated Man. For the most part, the movie follows the novel quite closely. In the novel, the antagonists turned out to be aliens. According to Christopher Lee, the characters were indeed going to be revealed as aliens in the movie’s climax, but all connections to that fact were cut out of the movie before it was released, leaving the enigmatic villains’ backgrounds unexplained.

What makes SCREAM AND SCREAM AGAIN so unusual, and so interesting, is its avoidance of the traditional dramatic structure in which a protagonist follows a clearly stated goal. Instead, the film presents several seemingly unrelated stories, which do not become clearly connected until the final twenty minutes when the audience finds out that both a series of “vampire murders” and a political takeover in a fascist country are the result of an artificially created super-race. Said Lee, “Playing some of those scenes, shot out of sequence and with no clue to how well they’d be edited, was maddening.”

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The film marks the first teaming of Vincent Price with Christopher Lee, but their only scene together consists of Price finding Lee bleeding to death on the floor. AIP was only interested in getting their names on the marquee, not in giving them worthwhile material to play. Nevertheless, Lee remembered the filming with good humor.

Said Lee, “As I expired messily on the floor, gurgling blood, which is spouting all over the place, Vincent comes in wearing the biggest cloak I’ve ever seen in my life-a great, big, blue traveling cloak which went right down to the ground. He had to bend down beside me and roll me over in my last throes, being careful not to get blood all over him. While he was supposed to be fussing over me, all I could hear was his voice whispering, “You’re lying on my train!’ He had rolled me over onto his cape and couldn’t get up!”

Christopher Wicking

Interview with Christopher Wicking

Scream and Scream Again was a co-production with Amicus. Milton Subotsky came up with the project and had the rights to the book The Disoriented Man by Peter Saxon; Deke Heywood, head of AIP’s London office, was looking for other projects in which to use Vincent Price. Subotsky did the initial draft of the script, Heywood didn’t like it and you were brought in. Christopher Wicking: Gordon Hessler didn’t like the screenplay. He didn’t feel Milton could deliver what they wanted. Milton initiated the project, and it was his up to that point. I got a call from Gordon requesting I read the book and then Milton’s screenplay.

The book gave me goosebumps. Then I read Milton’s script, which was totally flat: it was like watching a souffle dying. it just caved in after a while. Gordon and I discussed it at length. He saw the police material as Coogan’s Bluff country, which was an idea that excited me. The one radical thing we did, which changed what Milton had done and came directly from the book, was take out the blobs from space. Blobs from space are great, but we didn’t want it to be that kind of picture. We wanted to do a Don Siegel-style horror film, Coogan’s Bluff meets Invasion of the Bodysnatchers, and we needed something stronger than lumps from another planet. So we took the aliens away and implied that Vincent Price’s mad doctor character was responsible for the superhuman creatures. We never quite know in the picture how this is possible, but they are not blobs from space. We wanted to investigate science and politics, so we used a lot of material from news headlines, material about transplants and genetic experimentation. The film sticks quite closely to the book, whose structure was very cinematic.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

You worked frequently with Hessler. Was it a good partnership? Christopher Wicking: It was delightful-and, in retrospect, an inhibiting factor why I never pushed to direct until recently. Working with Gordon was easy, very stimulating. We shared a lot of ideas, and for the most part he directed my scripts the way I wanted to see them made. Obviously, there were occasions when he didn’t, but those decisions were usually due to time constraints. I learned a lot from him. It was like an apprenticeship.

Didn’t AIP try to recut Scream? Christopher Wicking: They did try to take out one of the three strands of the Scream and Scream Again story and found the film didn’t work without it.

SCORE/SOUNDTRACK

Scream and Scream Again (1970) David Whitaker

The eponymous theme song for the film was by Amen Corner, who appeared in the film singing it. This was one of their last appearances before Andy Fairweather Low departed for a solo career after a brief career as Fair Weather.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

CAST/CREW Directed Gordon Hessler

Produced Max Rosenberg Milton Subotsky Louis M. Heyward

Written Christopher Wicking

Based on The Disorientated Man by Peter Saxon

Vincent Price as Dr. Browning Christopher Lee as Fremont Peter Cushing as Benedek Judy Huxtable as Sylvia Alfred Marks as Detective Superintendent Bellaver Michael Gothard as Keith Anthony Newlands as Ludwig Peter Sallis as Schweitz Uta Levka as Jane Christopher Matthews as Dr. David Sorel

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Fangoria#53 Fangoria#84 Fangoria#97 dvddrive-in.com Cinefantastique v19n01-02

Scream and Scream Again (1970) Retrospective SUMMARY Police Superintendent Bellaver, investigating the murder and mutilation of two young women and the disappearance of a young athlete, learns from American pathologist David Sorel that the women's bodies had been drained of blood.