Snippet Monday
❤️Thank you very much for tagging me @ghost-of-a-dream-girl, @busy-baker and @xxnashiraxx! ❤️
This is something I've started working on for the 300 followers celebration for @pursuitseternal - a Magistrate Astarion x Reader one-shot where Astarion was never turned! Such a brilliant idea, thank you so much!
So, basically this has all the events of BG3 but Astarion is an elf. And the one-shot takes place post-game. So far, I think I have a general idea of what I'm going to write, so hopefully this is something along the lines of what you would like it to be!
The afternoon sunlight brushed warmly against your cheek as you enjoyed a rare moment of peace. Instead of running around Baldur's Gate, fixing buildings, helping those in need, the Hero of the Gate for once decided to read a newspaper in a park. Something quite mundane for some, a rare luxury for you.
You were not slacking. But you have come to realise that in your bid to please everyone you would soon completely burn out. Which is why you didn’t feel a smidge of guilt when you found yourself going to Bloomridge park instead of the Upper City.
Not having to make any decisions and just simply be for an hour felt absolutely heavenly. Children played, the members of the book club gossiped, and couples whispered among themselves. This was exactly what you loved about this city. No matter how much havoc was wrought, Baldur's Gate healed rapidly and would soon be back to its former glory.
You cast your eyes over the articles in the newspaper. Nothing special, thank the gods. Just silly gossip and the like. You quickly looked through it and gave a happy sigh. No news was always good news in your books!
Yet, no matter how pleasant this little break was, you were well aware that your assistance was needed at ten odd locations today. It was time to get back to work.
Getting up, you looked at the newspaper in your hands and decided that perhaps someone would enjoy reading it. Afterall, there was hardly any reason for you to take the paper with you. And leaving it behind would probably save some poor student a copper. Thus assured that you were doing no harm, you folded the newspaper up neatly and set it down on the park bench for another to enjoy.
Just as you were about to walk away, you heard someone clear their throat loudly.
"What do you think you are doing?"
It was one of the Fists. You didn't recognise him. Perhaps it was a new recruit, seeing as otherwise he would have known who you were.
"Excuse me?"
"You are littering," he stated, pointing to the newspaper with an accusatory finger.
Ah, so a simple misunderstanding.
"I am not littering,” you smiled pleasantly, in spite of feeling that it was rather strange of the Fist to worry about something as inconsequential as litter out of all things. “Just thought someone else might enjoy reading the paper now that I'm done with it."
The Fist did not look impressed by your explanation. In fact, if anything he seemed even more set in his belief that a heinous crime was being committed in broad daylight.
"I am arresting you for littering in a public garden," he seemed to think about it for a moment. "And for arguing with a city guard."
"I've hardly said any-"
"Resisting arrest, are we?" he drawled, making your mouth tighten as you bit back a snarky retort.
"No, I will come with you willingly," you grumbled.
Perhaps if you played along for a bit, you could talk to someone of a higher rank. Saying anything to an overly eager guard who was obstinately sticking to his accusations would just attract onlookers.
"Good. The judge is waiting for your arrival."
"What? What do you mean judge?" you frowned. What business did any judge have looking into misdemeanours and especially something like littering?
"His Honor judge Ancunín is waiting for you. Don't dawdle. It's rude to keep him waiting."
Suddenly all of this made sense. You ground your teeth and followed the Fist. Of course it was Astarion! That ass!
"Oh, trust me. Him waiting for me will be the least of his worries once I see him."
He couldn’t just come by the tavern and talk to you like someone normal. No, he needed a show of power, especially with him being promoted to judge in high court! Because apparently this was how Astarion got his kicks nowadays. He needed for you to be near forcibly escorted to the courtroom and thrown at his feet. Preferably pleading for mercy and asking him if there was any way that you could make it up to him.
You scowled. The whole scenario just sounded like the plot of some cheap, third-rate smutty novel one would pick up at Sharess'. But if he thought that he you would cower before him, that elf had another thing coming!
No pressure tags: @clazberryk, @inkymoonbunny,
@preciouslittlebhaalbae, @lanafofana, @marlowethebard,
@honeybee-bard, @fangbangerghoul
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any voxval fics you’d recommend?
Ah, yes, voxval fics... The one ship that finally made me cave and read explicit stuff. I am now numb to everything.
Everything.
I'll only be posting completed fics. Warnings, almost all of these are explicit. A couple also have Angel, you know, suffering.
And please mind the tags.
First off is a couple of favs that I always go back for a reread:
Corrupted Love by DoveFactory (Words: 149,495)
In a moment of blind desperation to one-up Alastor, Vox puts himself in a compromising situation that leaves him worse for wear. His state triggers something in Valentino who decides to change the nature of their relationship.
The title and summary of this is so misleading I thought it was going to be a dark fic but nope. The Vees are a bunch of goobers and Valentino always wins. I would scream about this every time it updated. I love the characterizations and their banter it almost made me forget there's sex in like every chapter. Honestly I wish there was more tags referencing the character/story stuff.
Virtual Reality by passthevoxcord (Words: 7,634)
Vox gets tired of his cybernetic biology being a barrier to his sex life, so he starts a new project to fuck Valentino in VR. Val will try anything once, but he has something else in mind.
This one ends up being so sweet I want to die. passthevoxcord's other fic, Only a Shadow, drives me nuts but its a WIP and hasn't actually gotten to the voxval yet.
choke behind a smile by gloriousmonsters (Words: 19,881)
"I'm not scared by extreme, although I doubt I'll find it interesting. What is it?"
Valentino's eyes narrow slyly over his smile. "If you aren't scared, why do you need a warning?"
Vox has everything under control in his new business partnership with benefits. His emotions, his unfortunate desires, the little mind games they play. Even Valentino himself. When Val offers an invitation to a special show he's performing, Vox knows it's a dare, and knows he has to take it, show Val that he can't be scared or destabilized.
He has no idea of how deep under his skin the show will get.
Everyone's so normal. I love this Valentino. There's another Valvel fic that has the same Valentino I also recommend called bad girls go backstage.
Great Expectations by MarenRose (Words: 11,280)
“It’s his goal. Those three simple words. If he could get to hear them once, could let the reality of their meaning and spoken existence occupy his mind for only a few indiscernible moments, then maybe, Vox could learn to see the appeal of this god forsaken holiday. He might even learn to ‘love’ it too.”
Or: Vox hates Valentine’s Days. His prick of a ‘wife’ is just too damn hard to please.
This miiiight have been the fic that made me Lock In on voxval? I'm not sure. It's sweet. Alastor is hilarious.
biting keeps your words at bay by Subedarling (Words: 1,511)
“You can’t hit me,” Valentino says. He’s practically vibrating with rage. “You’re not allowed to—you can’t hit me!”
Vox sneers, cruel and mocking and hopefully masking the way his heart is breaking apart inside his chest. “Baby, I can do whatever the hell I want.”
A decade into their partnership, Vox and Valentino have their first and last physical fight.
This might be the only non-explicit fic in this list. I am all for Val being the worst just because he's Like That. But I will not say no to an implied tragic backstory. I read this one a lot and want to die. Can I draw this. I want to draw this. Oh my god I have free time I can totally draw this...
And my other recs:
Just For The Record by PeppermintWalrus (Words: 13,795)
Vox is thrilled about his new film enterprise with his business partner, ready to build a lucrative empire for the denizens of hell to experience true cinema, in the only genre their depraved minds desire.
There’s just one problem that he finds out too late; Valentino has never filmed porn before. Vox decides that some... hands-on teaching, is necessary to save their production.
Yeah you read that right.
a putrid feeling that i've addressed by spoondrifts (Words: 5,162)
They weren’t a couple because Valentino was pathologically noncommittal and Vox simply knew better. He tried the whole romance thing with a certain radio demon a few decades back, and he’d learned his damn lesson.
Hell just wasn’t the place for that sort of cutesy bullshit. Also, he was pretty sure that Valentino was straight up incapable of love, which was both par for the course for Vox’s friendships and amazingly convenient—things couldn’t get complicated if there was nothing to complicate in the first place.
Or: Full Moon, Vox/Val edition.
Haha I love pain. I lied, this is the second non-explicit fic.
Little Miss Hellion by DoveFactory (Words: 10,657)
Hell’s worst married couple spends a day of family bonding at a beauty pageant doing whatever it takes to make sure their daughter takes home the crown, because failure is never an option for the Vees.
Pilot AU where Vox and Valentino are married and Velvette is their adopted daughter.
It's more Vees than voxval but they're married so.
The Art of Pimping by MarenRose (Words: 9,161)
Desperate to close a deal with one of the most lucrative investors in Pride, Vox does the unthinkable and pimps out Valentino for a one-time date. What could go wrong?
Val's attitude in this one is funny and Vox. Yeah. Vox made a mistake.
You Found Me by passthevoxcord (Words: 4,338)
Long before Velvette came along, it was just them. Vox and Valentino. Valentino and Vox.
Sobbing.
Something Less Than Dishonest by daphnerunning, Galiko (Words: 33,931)
He isn’t expecting the way Valentino walks, for some reason. Maybe it’s the extra limbs. Maybe it’s the wings. Maybe it’s the heels. Vox had skipped briefly through a few of the slut’s movies, for research, and isn’t expecting the way Valentino moves in person to feel so…
Different.
“…You must be my four o’clock,” he says, standing and offering a hand. Oh, shit, he’s huge. Valentino towers over him, easily would without the stripper heels. Vox is not afraid of heights.
Vox is so offensive in this it loops back around to hilarious.
Red Skies and Valentino by alternatedoom (Words: 86,050)
"Vox and I are special friends, doll. Go give him a kiss," Val says to the boy.
Angel does not have a good time. But the Voxval is nice.
before you go by xoTsundoku (Words: 4,426)
Before Alastor came into their lives, Vox and Valentino were happy.
Maybe they still can be.
A Farewell to Ghosts by Accidental_Ducky (Words: 37,149)
"What do you think that is," Vox demands, pointing at the new guy. Valentino turns, eyes raking greedily over the man's body. He's gorgeous, skinny in a heroin chic way with big blue eyes and blond hair that falls just so across his eyes.
"Hot."
"Don't fucking call the ghost hot!"
The only human AU I've liked so far. Love the character interactions. Vox and Val are hilarious.
God I hope I didn't miss any. There's definitely some good WIP ones out there.
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I posted 15,341 times in 2022
That's 15,333 more posts than 2021!
48 posts created (0%)
15,293 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@dailyflicks
@heroeddiemunson
@castlesrichards
@thewintersoldier
@frodo-sam
I tagged 15,335 of my posts in 2022
#pretty much. - 738 posts
#series: house of the dragon - 718 posts
#series: stranger things - 708 posts
#series: the witcher - 653 posts
#hotd spoilers - 506 posts
#series: 911 - 461 posts
#series: obi wan kenobi - 393 posts
#series: shadow and bone - 392 posts
#series: 911 lone star - 385 posts
#movie: the batman - 345 posts
Longest Tag: 119 characters
#and i can't get over the fact that guillermo del toro said he envisioned the mako/raleigh sparring scene as a sex scene
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
it still feels unreal to see obi-wan and darth vader again, BUT TO SEE THEM ON SCREEN TOGETHER AHHHHH
6 notes - Posted June 1, 2022
#4
THE WAR IS GOING TO START ALL BECAUSE OF A MISUNDERSTANDING???
7 notes - Posted October 9, 2022
#3
i was tagged by the lovely arwen ( benoitblanc ), thank you! 💖
favorite color: blue 💙
currently reading: six of crows by leigh bardugo ( it's taken me months to read this, but i'm more than half-way done lmao )
last song: mind over matter by young the giant
currently watching: new girl ( currently on season 6 )
last film: encanto
savory, sweet, or spicy: this is a tough one, i probably have to go with sweet for right now
currently working on: most of my time is spent at my new job nowadays, but recently outside of work, i officiated my friends' wedding last weekend so now i'm trying to put together a few post-wedding gifts with some of our friends who attended the wedding 🥰
no pressure to participate, i'm tagging @spacenerdevans, @yelenabeluva, @jakeperallta, @william-byers, and anyone who would like to answer these questions ( feel free to tag me ) !
7 notes - Posted January 20, 2022
#2
daemon really just came back to king's landing, have a nice family reunion with his brother and get a hero's welcome, only to get exiled yet again the next day
8 notes - Posted September 11, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
also getting chased after by darth vader in the dark would be completely terrifying
24 notes - Posted June 1, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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