#but god knows when i’ll get one…
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(Op of the text post is no longer in the fandom/no longer wishes to be so I didn’t tag, and I’m hesitant to say to flood their notifs! Let’s be respectful but I wanted to give this its dues lol)
I literally have been thinking about this text post for a full year and it’s FINALLY TIME. Happy Halloween 🎃
#the sound I made when I first read that post#NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO REACT#how to get people to stop asking about a costume 101 with Neil Josten#andrew was given the opportunity to just ‘idk whatever you think I should wear’ Neil and by god he took the chance#to dress Neil up to his tastes#(as 025 would say. Andrew Minyard this is boyfriend behavior)#I want this outfit. just gotta find a turtleneck with that fit and I’ll be golden#fan art#my art#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#Halloween 2023#Halloween#chibi
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TRYING TO DECIDE HOW TO DRAW @ryliith ‘s YUMMY TASTIC FARMER ATLAS so it’s atlas dump time. sorry not sorry !
#u know the brainrot is bad when I draw them in winter gear#one of these days I’ll color u atlas.. one of these days ..#literally I have been consumed by the biggest atlas brainrot of all time rn right before going to bed so I had to get it out of my system#his extended god family is filled to the brim w so many shenanigans I literally cannot handle it#anyway. crowing atlas’s name into the night. sadly and softly. im thinking abt u boo#his design continues to evade me. I feel like I can’t do him justice yet. dw I will practice 😋 the most delish hw of all time#farmer atlas#sdv farmer#farmer kendall#sdv shane#sdv#stardew valley#sdv fanart#stardew valley fanart
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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“A Little Chaos,” Moon Knight Annual (Vol. 5/2024), #1.
Writer: Dan Watters; Penciler and Inker: Marco Renna; Colorist: Rachelle Rosenberg; Letterer: Cory Petit
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Moon Knight Annual#Moon Knight Annual vol. 5#Moon Knight Annual 2024#Moon Knight comics#latest release#Moon Knight#Marc Spector#Jake Lockley#Steven Grant#Colleen Wing#Khonshu#there’s SO much I love here I don’t know where to begin so I’ll go chronologically EXCEPT#Joke’s on you Nightmare you just stuck your hand down the garbage disposal#but in other news «Ms. Wing» he’s so polite#and alshsksh «little god botherer»#Mr. Knight should get «professional god botherer» put on his business card#it’ll have everyone reenacting that one scene from American Psycho hahaha#big fan also of Marc being so entirely unimpressed by Nightmare#not only is he not the scariest malicious entity to try and trespass in Marc’s brainpan but Marc knows exactly what is going to happen next#because JAKE AND STEVEN JAKE AND STEVEN JAKE AND STEVEN LET’S GOOO#(and even a Frenchie mention!!!! RAAAAAAH 🗣️🗣️🗣️)#(and Steven???? with the garrote??? I’m so proud oh my gosh?)#love the insinuation that Nightmare ranks below even SERE school/psyop training in terms of «how likely it is to mess with#this particular mind» let alone Khonshu#and I’m fascinated by this discussion of how that old quality of Marc chasing thrills and danger#(something I recall being discussed more in the first volume) is actually something that’s shared across all three of the guys#just in different manifestations (a gamble of finances is still a form of gambling particularly when those finances
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Oh to look into the mirror and realize you’re starting to look more and more like him.
#vent art that i ended up liking be upon ye#I’m terrified of looking like my mom#thankfully she always disparagingly says i take everything from my dad <3#which is also what people said to her when she was my age but now she’s identical to my grandma <3#i swear to god that if one day in my future i’m going to wake up and see her in the mirror i don’t know what i’ll do#what do you mean i can’t get rid of her once and for all and that’s she’s always going to stare at me everytime i walk in front of a mirror#the owl house#grimm’s art#emperor belos#toh oc#gatherer#the owl house fanart#toh#backup au#Grimwalker oc
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</3
lindsey buckingham - d. w. suite // sting - fields of gold // lorde - team // w. b. yeats, he wishes for the cloths of heaven // death cab for cutie - gold rush
#here’s mine#i am not even german and im destroyed god help me the day he r*t*r*s fr*m b*y*rn#no one come for my taste in music ok i know it sucks 😭#anyway#i hope he knows how loved he is#and that when i have kids of my own i’ll look forward to the day they ask me who thomas müller was so i can tell them#wow im actually going to cry there r genuinely unironically tears in my eyes omg get it together#ok bye#thomas müller#my goat <3#germany nt#gnt#euro 2024#german nt#web weaving
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I guess these count as shitposts, they’re just based off of some random text posts I was looking through on Pinterest tho idk. :3
#castlevania#castlevania games#castlevania ii#castlevania ii: simon's quest#castlevania simon’s quest#simon’s quest#castlevania rondo of blood#richter belmont#simon belmont#art post#my art#doodle post#shitpost?#castlevania meme#akumajou dracula#akumajo dracula#god that’s a lot of series tags for one goofy post#I only ever use all the Simon’s Quest tags because I wanna make sure all the fans of the niche game get to see new content ya know?#wow rare richter drawing no way#I should draw him more often but he just only gives me the vibes once every blue moon I guess lol#I used to draw him a looooot more often when I was into smash bros cause I played as him mostly at first#oh how the tables have turned#sorry richter I’ll draw you again soon :(#yeah but they’d be friends and should have more silly doodles together#all the Belmonts would be friends but ya know
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based on your asks responses & characterization of yuuta this is what i’ve gathered — yuuta is like that one high school senior who looked at the new coming freshman’s & just adopted them on the spot. there’s no out. now his friends sees the kid & adopted them too. it’s a family now. a very young, close in age family. (i was yuuta in this situation 😔 i was use to be megumi in this situation but i carried the tradition out. as i should. high school & middle school was wild.)
YUUJI THOUGH. we will probably never see him in your sea glass garden au but your asks is killing me. like his one sided beef with yuuta? he’s just like me fr. i too would fight over megumi if it comes down to it.
i just know yuuji thought that yuuta & megumi was a thing at first cause of the whole “his boy thing”. i know he screamed into a pillow about it. i know he went to gojo to ask for permission to court megumi & gojo was flabbergasted at such a medieval act so he had yuuji do the dumbest shit to get his blessing (ha).
i just know nanami is sighing at the idea of his son yuuji being a jealous little brat because of his other son yuuta. i just know yuuta was so confused until he witnessed yuuji & megumi awkward ass flirting. i know he acts like a little shit to get on yuuji (& sukuna) nerves.
you know what. this is my jujutsu kaisen. this is my sorcery fight. gege who? i only know you. PLS TAKE THE PEN FROM GEGE.
Yuuta is absolutely that senior who adopted that new student and made a little family. That is His Kohai now okay megumi is their collectively raised flour sack baby and they will kill for him.
Yuuji came back to life finally met the second years had just leveled up with his cursed energy and gained a new dad got his old friends back he was so so ready to go live his best life and then his new self appointed brother opened his mouth and started rhapsodizing about some impossibly beautiful and perfect man named okkotsu yuuta and yuuji is absolutely whacked in the face a la rubber squeaky hammer that there’s some gorgeous son of a bitch out there already living his best life.
His death sentence was overturned. He’s so powerful that he can save everyone if he wants. He is the legally adopted child of Nanami Kento. The curse attached to him 1) actually liked him and 2) moved the fuck on which some people (Sukuna) could take a few notes on.
Fushiguro Megumi is his boy.
This could not have devastated him more thoroughly. Even his newly acquired self appointed brother thinks okkotsu yuuta is the perfect man, which he manages to express at length in between warnings from the second years that Yuuta’s going to fly back from Africa purely for the sake of kicking his fucking ass for touching His Boy, which yuuji simply cannot handle.
Yuuji lowkey had a new lease on life and thought “hey! Fushiguro tried to kill someone with an elephant for me! Maybe I have a shot and he’ll let me hold his hand!” and then there’s god’s perfect man off in Africa who’s enticing megumi away from movie marathons with his fucking FaceTime calls right when yuujis almost hyped himself up enough to try the yawning arm stretch thing.
He spends at least three weeks trying to figure out if Megumi’s His Boy because they’re in a long distance relationship and it only ends because maki starts finding it more annoying than funny and establishes that it is not in fact a romantic arrangement. She thinks. (Okay it’s still kind of funny.)
Yuuji resorted to a terrible wikihow on how to get someone to date you and it insisted “get their parents approval” was his in and gojo could NOT have been more of an asshole about it. Nanami had to intervene to get it to stop. He is very tired and very confused. Why are you so upset about okkotsu he’s a lovely young man why is this making you more upset
Of course if yuuji ever found out that megumi became Yuuta’s boy after Yuuta personally restarted his heart he’d instantly understand why everyone acts like Yuuta’s the best thing since sliced bread. He is that amazing.
Yuuta and Megumi are completely oblivious to all of this.
Gege pls call me I just want to help gege pls
#sea glass gardens#just remember YOU can forcibly displace gege and turn the creative property over to me#I will be making several. SEVERAL. changes.#yuuji absolutely goes back into his room and screams into his pillow over Yuuta#he was going to try to hold Megumi’s hand and Megumi left to go talk to Yuuta just because he was ‘calling all the way from Africa’ and ‘the#movie ended five minutes ago why were you just sitting there looking like you were really stressed are you okay itadori’#nobara is exhausted just watching this#she’s the most homophobic lesbian alive why do lgbtq things happen to people who don’t deserve it#god she just wants a girlfriend with a sword and these fucking assholes are the ones who get their high school romance they don’t even#APPRECIATE the gay things happening to them#ignoring all canon since we’re never getting there in sea glass gardens#when Yuuta’s coming back from Africa Megumi’s very simply stating that Yuuta’s an important person in his life and he’s glad yuuji wjll#meet him soon which might as well be a DECLARATION OF UNDYING LOVE yuuji has a total crisis#yuuta gets off the plane and fucking hugs megumi yuuji had to get boyfriend privileges to do that who is this son of a bitch#gojo watching this: do you think I can get yuuji to wash my car again if I tell him I’ll distract Yuuta so he can take Megumi on a date#Nanami: why on earth would okkotsu need to be distracted for that to happen#gojo: that’s the beauty of it it is in no way necessary but yuuji doesn’t seem to know that
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with respect to myself, this whole “i need to wait till i’m out of school to date,” “i need to wait till i’m more historically, politically, and culturally educated to date” is all bullshit. it’s the top surgery. that’s the holdup. they chop these tits off and i’m ready to go.
#for the record - i still think that those first two things are the WISEST course of action#but i’m just saying that i don’t think anyone could hold me back if the opportunity arises#because the top surgery thing is my real hangup#because that would be a LOT to go through with someone in a new relationship and i would rather Not#so it’s better to wait#and i have a feeling that MY confidence will increase a ton in the aftermath as well#i’ll FINALLY be able to dress how i want holy SHIT#no more needless layering and strategically shapeless flannels#thank GOD#and in the meantime i’ll just keep trying to learn as much as i can on the way there!#so that i’m as prepared as possible whenever the moment comes along#i’m really working on not being mean to myself about not knowing things#nobody comes into the world with this knowledge#and i was not given the resources growing up that encouraged me to learn these things#just because some people had parents or friends who introduced them to things when they were younger or grew up in cultural centers#doesn’t make them cooler or better than me#i am educating myself now and that is what is important#i enjoy learning and that is what is important#i WILL become my ideal self one day - i am getting better#i am not perfect - i am still fucking up a ton and insecure and stretching myself to the absolute limit#which is why it is probably NOT a good idea to date right now!!!!!!#but who knows… i’ll just go where the road takes me#and see how that works out
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JOEY IS LEAVING KOOZA….I THOUGHT HE WAS LEAVING IN OCTOBER…….I HAVENT GOTTEN TO SEE HIM PERFORM AS THE TRICKSTER AGAIN YET IM SO SAD
#god damn it brooooooo#I know he’s a young person living his life but gldkfkdj#I had a plan#I was gonna try to see him one more time and then I’d accept the transient nature of live performances and be happy#but nooooooo#he’s leaving with no notice (that I could see)#I haven’t gotten to see his Crooner skeleton dance since last year when I didn’t even know what I was seeing!!#I’m so sad but mostly mad (directionless)#I’m smad#sad face sad face sad face#when Joey dances the Trickster in Kooza all is right in the world#it will never be this good again#I’m being melodramatic but gldkflfkfld my dreams are crushed#I’ll never get to experience this beloved thing again#Kooza#me stuff
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#no one’s gonna pick date but god that’d be a funny option#he’d be supportive but also would be so caught off guard and so uneducated on the topic he’d say just. the stupidest shit#and you KNOW kiryu would just say it out of the fucking blue. date would probably drop a glass or something behind the counter. whiplash#anyway honestly it’s always been hard for me to pick between haruka and daigo- haruka obviously is the number one most important person to#him and if he’s gonna be that vulnerable with anyone it’s most likely gonna be her#HOWEVER. if he (miraculously) picked up on daigo never having an interest in women and having at least one close male companion that was a#liiiiitttttle too close to be Just a companion#then daigo has an advantage because. i mean. it’d guarantee the person he’d admitting this too wouldn’t judge him for it#and would have- amusingly enough- more experience in the area than kiryu himself thus the possibility for advice/reassurance#which is such an interesting conceptual conversation that I started writing it. maybe one day I’ll finish it……….#I think the only way he’d come out ti majima first would be completely on accident / incidentally#like. getting drunk with him and laughing about whatever havin a good time and after a waitress or whoever hits on kiryu majima says like#‘you know- I’ve known you for like 30 years and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you return the favor when a gal flirts with ya- so what kinda#gals ARE you into–‘ ‘I don’t think I’ve ever really been into any women. ………. ah.’#anyway that’s just one thought#anyway have fun with this#kiryu#kazuma kiryu#yakuza#rambling#polls
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so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
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i love being REALLY into something that’s relatively niche. every time there’s a knight in anything it feels like a little treat just for me. a knight armor set will appear in a movie for two seconds and all my friends will look toward me and i’ll be like 👁👁 because i like knights wherever they may appear. you can genuinely sell me on a game by going “you play as a cute little knight” even if the game has nothing else to do with knights. i just need them to be Present
#txt#knights#i knowwww i don’t draw them anymore but i want to#i really do still love them i get all giddy when i see one#but i’m working on something now where i’ll probably have to draw them so we’ll see#also god. i need to make games where you play as a cute little knight for no reason because i KNOW there’s more knightlikers like me
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Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness
#vent#<- slightly? not that strongly? this is a pretty chill post like. I feel pretty chill#but also :( sad#I miss my family and friends at home#I haven’t really talked to my roommates#including the one who’s been my friend since high school bc she’s been sick (?) for the past few days#and this semester is definitely going to be A Lot#I got accepted into another choir but I’m most likely not joining bc my schedule is so packed#but the main thing is#I FEEL LIKE A BABY#my parents never really made me cook or clean and I just feel kinda useless#I’m just gonna have to force myself to learn which is fine#and my parents have offered to walk me through stuff over the phone when they can#but idk I just feel really immature bc like. damn I am 20 and don’t know how to cook Anything#I’m gonna go grocery shopping either tonight or tomorrow and get some sandwich supplies and other non-cooking stuff#so we are not completely doomed lol#also I need to do laundry tomorrow.. which. I can do and have done before. but I’m still gonna call my mom for guidance 😅#idk I think the main thing that’s stressing me out is spending money on food vs. groceries#and trying to eat at least some protein and fruits/vegetables etc. while also not spending exorbitantly#bc I am SOOOO irrationally anxious about money. I hate hate hate spending money#so the whole idea of grocery shopping is just kind of filling me with dread 🥲#but I will do it bc I need to Adult at some point#I just. idk I guess most students do this and I’m being whiny about it bc I’m not used to it??#but it just feels like So Much to be taking five classes and doing a bunch of extracurriculars and living on my own for the first time!#like! ahhh! too much at once!#😰😰😰#and I need to get an internship soon 😀 and if I don’t get one this semester I need to at least get a job so I can stress less about money 😀#but I always stress about money regardless 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀 even though I have scholarships savings etc 😀😀 ocd things! 😁 (🥲)#thank god for my meds and the thought that I’ll be starting therapy in the next week or two#and also my mom for being like the sweetest wver
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I’m just fed up with feeling so ace and yet so sexually repressed. I’M SO FRUSTRATED!
#why can’t it be one or the other!!#I swear to god I’ll draw again I’m just going thru it#I know my identity is valid and all but Why can’t I be satisfied??#why can’t it be at least less frustrating#I’m sure it’s not helping that I work every goddamn day#maybe when I stop doing that someday I can find some time to actually explore my needs#I can’t continue like this!!!!#I need to get into some more kinky shit#more subspace! more topspace!#I have a pyramid of needs and it is looking so wack right now#vent#vampchat#about vamp#kinky ace#the kink shame chronicles#my kink journey
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Trying to keep a lid on it but. Yeah. Literally don’t know what’s it like to NOT be platonically neglected IRL my whole damn life, only that I know this One Person doesn’t deserve to be at the epicenter of it anymore than I deserved to have been at the epicenter of theirs a year ago now.
…why am I like this. Why are we like this.
#tiger’s roar#…but like. good god. someone being Actually Genuinely KIND and insisting they DO like my company and want my friendship#(and is arguably mutually attracted and THOSE feelings of mine and what I’m picking up from them just won’t DISPELL already)#just. really stirs the muck. gets at that emotional constipation in my brain’s grease trap#then having TWICE now having Activities Suggested and THIS Time in FRONT of people then like…never following through?#all but thinking aloud with planning to witnesses things that sound less like hanging out and more like a date#and then just…not doing it?#when the Reality is Apparently Too Busy?#us fighting earlier this year over quality time essentially#when all I want is to have like. maybe an hour or two once a week or once a month#to enjoy someone else’s company. get a fucking REPRIEVE from my life#that’s…that’s it? nothing grand. just have the time found where it can be without causing strain?#I’m actually NOT a romantic even when I have romantic feelings? they just make me yearn for basic contact all the more#I’ll always be ‘too platonic’ within a romantic relationship so no it’s never going to be an ‘expectation’#MAYBE the one with unrealistic expectations is the guy who watches romance films and struggles with AllorNothing thinking perhaps?#and…yeah. trying to not feel resentful of their time spent this summer with existing friends when apparently not working 20+ hrs a week#in addition to their own research and god knows what else#…because it feels like there’s no space for me. and probably never will be. and I have never been ‘cool’ a day in my life#sure I own it as an adult. especially a 30s adult.#but having people recognize me as kind and supportive and easy to talk to 1:1 (my group aqauaintance/casual friendships SUCK)#but. basically never getting to keep any of them as friends? quickly ditched? treated like a used bandaid?#it…gets to me alright? like I only exist as Catch/Treat/Release but for people#which sure. the friend I’m angry at HAS been frustrated about me deserving better. looks at me like I’m christmas.#and I’m now fairly close friends with their beloved sibling. and despite things having THE Worst Start Ever their family seems to trust me#…but…it’s just…think I deserve better? think I’m worthy of your esteem and respect? think I’m kind and approachable?#want me to feel safe and relaxed enough to be myself? then just…do better.#ask when I’m available to kill a few hours then…follow through on that. that’s it.#not all the time. and my ‘expectation’ is to always be either neglected or used and feeling jaded about it#just…a repreive. for both of us. that’s it.
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