#but havent had the time to dive in yet

[arolesbianism]

The sadness and agony that emerges everytime I start a new oni save and am forced to remember what it's like to have a dupe without a hat only to put them in a hat because I think they'd look cute only to remember hats make half of them look bald but I spent this long maxing out a skill for them so Im too stubborn to back down and remove the hat

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Birthday Planning

SO! Fun fact. I was kinda running out of ideas.

Then I had THIS idea.

And well. After the last ride? We deserve cuteness don't we? ;)

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

No edits we diving right in! (pppst. @spotaus I got the new installment get in here ;) )

*---------------------*

"Horror! Wait up!"

Horror blinks as he turns back around and searches the crowd. It only takes him a moment to spot the excited bunny monster. He tries to give a smile while he waits for a moment for the other to catch up.

Ellie stops before him panting harshly as she leans against him "Oh god." more pants and weezes.

Horror tilts his skull as he keeps the other steady "Hello Ellie... something wrong?" Maybe she needed help or something?

Ellie manages to pull herself upright again adn smiles brightly "Nothing is wrong! It is just I had something very important to ask you guys and saw you so i sprinted all the way over here."

Horror nods and gives her a look "What did you want to ask?"

Ellie grins widely "When is Nightmare's birthday? Like. No worries! I get that you guys havent been here for quite a year yet and with everything going on especially the whole kidnaping thing. we get you guys want the first birthday to just be you guys but Dani realised we still had some of our better quality cherry jams left over and I got the amazing idea to use those in a birthdya cake but! Well.. you know... gotta know when the birthday is. and we both figured it hadn't happened yet as you guys hadn't mentioned yet... so... When is it? And all you guys birthdays for that matter."

horror needs a moment to process all the information she just dropped on him. When he realised what she was asking he realised a tiny problem.

They all come from different universes and the calanders were not the same.

Worse.

Horror isn't even sure if Nightmare even has a birthday he celebrates. They never celebrated it as the castle.

Horror looks down at the groceries in his arms before looking at Ellie "Is it... okay I give an answer later?"

Ellie frowns before her eyes shoot up to his skull and hole and she cringes and rubs her neck as she looks abcka t his face. sheepish smile on her face "Right... sorry. That... that was a lot at once wasn't it? Just... think about it okay? And you guys got our number!" she takes a few steps backwards, almost bumping into someone before she disappears into the crowd again.

Horror sighs in relievve, crisis averted. Now.

When the fuck are their birthdays in this world anyway?

--

Horror returned home to his datemates and their kid. Horror still feels his soul pulse happily even at just the thought.

They sit together in the nest while their dinner cooks slowly in their oven. It is an old stone oven and Horror loves it. it is sturdy and takes up a lot of space but he love using it.

Killer frowns as he is still staring at his phone "I mean... We can just pick dates and call it a day? It isn't like I was still celebrating my own birthday back in my universe anyway. I only started that up again with you guys in the castle."

Dust hums his agreement and Cross nods too "True! XTale also wasn't big on birthdays unless it were the once which marked important ages. I am down to just pick one and call it."

Nightmare frowns as he looks between them before pushing closer to Dust "Not like it matters. It isn't like i am growing and stuff."

Dust nudges Nightmare's skull with his own and mutters softly "Hey... what did Fauna say?"

Ngihtmare doesn't say anything and just pushes clsoer to Dust.

Dust doesn't look like he is bothered by this at all as he just nudges Nightmare gently again "Come on... what did the nice deer doctor lady say?"

Ngihtmare grumbles but actually answers this time "That I won't grow until i am healed."

Dust nods "exactly. As long as you are healing you won't grow. Which, she told us is a normal response for children to have as their bodies and magic are much more fragile." he bonks their skulls together softly "Which means. You will stay our adorable six year old until you are healed fullly. Including physical, mental and magic health."

Nightmare looks down embarresed and mutters "should be healed by now... I am a god..."

Dust looks unimpressed "You are also a six year old who lived his whole life being abused and hurt and when you finally had the power to defend yourself you had to do an adult god's duty." he nuzzles him "Take your time. We aren't in a hurry and any monster knows what it means if a child isn't growing."

Nightmare relaxes a bit and nods. accepting Dusts words.

Dust looks content as he glances up before looking slightyl embarresed as he tubs his hood closer around his skull "what?"

Horror then realises he is staring and a glacne confirms to are Cros and Killer. Cross looks completely enchanted and Killer is straight up cooing. Yeah no wonder Dust is getting shy. He was the same when the four of them spoke about dating.

Horror smiles at Dust before taking his chance to say something "Well. We better pick a birthday for him." Horror smiles at Nightmare "Or do you have one we don't know about Night?"

Ngihtmare shrugs and mutters "Dream and I were born on the longest day of the year... I don't know which date it was in our universe and when it is in other universes."

Killer groans "Of course it was on the sunniest day of the universe- ugh." Killer shoots Cross a glare but Cross jsut sends him a warning look back.

Horror agrees. Killer would have no doubt said something about either Dream or Nim and neither of them matter. At all. Not when they have a babybones that probably never even had anyone celebrate his birthday.

Dust stays on task as he hums in thought "Well... we could figure out when the longest day is here... and say that is your birthday? usually those fall in summer."

Killer shoots upright "or! We can pick the day when the longest night happens! Go right to the other side of it all!"

Horror watches Dust and Killer debate the options while he watches their tiny charge think. and that is why he sees Nightmare blink and looks up a bit as he no doubt gets an idea. Then the doubt sets in wihtout him saying anyhting.

Horror speaks gently "Did you have an idea?" luckily Killer and Dsut shut up right away.

Nightmare shrugs and mutters "maybe... I thought... you know... I became six again... and you guys picked me up so second chance and stuff... so shouldn't that count as the day? Because it is the day this whole thing started?" he tugs himself clsoer to Dust.

Dust hums as he rubs his spine oh so gently "I think it is a great idea." he glances at Killer "Kills?"

Killer grins as he taps away on his phone "already on it! lets see..."

Horror smiles at Nightmare "I think we all agree it is a great idea."

Nightmare smiles a tiny bit and Horror sees a tine glimps of that confident monster Nightmare had been with his powers. Which is good. This means they are guiding him alright towards a future where he is confident in himself, and hopefully happy and healthy.

Killer sits up and holds up his phone in triumph "Figured it out! We got here near mid summer and we had Ngihtmare for two months at that point. Ngihtmare become his true self a month before we got him. meaning!" Killer grins at Nightmare "You are a spring baby!" Killer shows the date to them all.

Ngihtmare looks away embarresed and Dust nods "Sounds good."

Nightmare however looks a bit anxious "But that is so soon already?"

Dust nuzzles him "That is okay. We will just do a small party with us five. Well and Crop and Straw if they want to come."

Horror sees Nightmare looks surprised and just chuckles "It will be nice. Something nice to focus on and enjoy together." he rubs the tiny cheek and Nightmare closes his sockets to lean into the touch.

The five of them relax and eat dinner soon after that as they casually discuss when everyone wants their own birthdays. Horror makes a point of picking up their housephone and calling Dani and Ellie to give them an update on the birthday situation and to invite them the party if they want to and have time. Horror also gives Crop the same update and invitation.

They are together. They are healing. The are happy.

And they have a party to prepare. They have to make sure Nightmare enjoys his very first birthday party after all.

*---------------------*

First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble

[thefreshprinceofjunes]

soriku endgame: an imagining

OKAY WELL HERE IT IS

TEN WHOLE PAGES OF HOW SORIKU ENDGAME MIGHT ACTUALLY PLAY OUT

i was rewatching vin play RE2 and fsr this invaded my thoughts and wouldnt leave

this is barely proofread and i reused a lot of the same words/phrases BUT its just meant to be an outline/abridged version so keep that in mind

(if i got any lore wrong tho pls let me know)

btw if you dont want to read this on tumblr for whatever reason, heres a link to the google doc

note: this is going off the assumption MoM saw everything (or at least everything soriku) through the gazing eye

scene is quadratum probably. master of masters (or whoever the bad guy in kh4 is) has sora and riku caught in a bad situation (for temporary visuals im picturing something similar to the dark guardian restraining aqua and ven in kh3)

sora and riku are struggling to break free, while the MoM just laughs. some kh dramatic banter occurs, before MoM changes the subject and starts monologuing (with sora and riku probably interjecting here and there)

MoM: [to sora] you still havent figured it out yet, have you?

MoM: dont you ever wonder why rikus heart holds as vast of a darkness as it does?

MoM: its not because of jealousy, or ansem, or even his desire for strength since you were children.

MoM: no, its much simpler than that.

MoM: remember that dream you had, sora? before the islands were destroyed?

MoM: there was a voice speaking to you, from deep within your heart:

MoM: 'the closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes.'

MoM: well, the road goes both ways, kid. the deepest of darknesses can only come from the brightest of lights.

sora: wh-what are you saying?

MoM: its been in front of all along, but you were too blind to see it.

cut to voiceless flashbacks of all the times sora encountered the brightest light: when receiving the keyblade, when almost pulled out of sleep by the memory of aqua on DI, during the dive to heart at the beginning of kh3 (assuming it really happened and wasnt just for gameplay purposes), and after using the power of waking at the KBG (the tunnel scene)

sora looks at riku, then back at MoM. riku is grimacing.

sora: that… that was… that was rikus light?

MoM: bingo!

MoM: but theres even more to it than that.

MoM: theres another force of power in this universe that keeps light and dark in harmony

sora: another…?

MoM: you feel an unfathomable depth of it in your heart for, well, pretty much everyone youve ever met.

MoM: what lies in rikus heart, however, comes from the same place, but is also very, very different. its something you claim to not understand, even though youve encountered it many times during your adventures.

rikus eyes widen and he tries to interject, but the MoM physically stops him; sora calls out for him

MoM: its more than just friendship. its hearts that are really, truly connected between two people.

MoM: think about it. think about all the times when everything seemed hopeless, but something, something, kept the bad guys from winning. it wasnt light.

cut to voiceless flashbacks between many of the disney couples sora has met: the beast arriving at hollow bastion out of sheer force of will in his search for belle, flynn sacrificing himself for rapunzel and her tears bringing him back to life (some shit with will/elizabeth and sam/quorra too maybe idk), and finally, herc gaining his strength back as he rescues megara from styx, followed by herc saying, 'people always do crazy things when theyre in love.'

sora stares ahead at nothing in particular, before wincing in pain; suddenly, a forgotten memory surfaces in his mind (if the convo with NS confirms he hasnt completely forgotten, then its the key details that have been missing):

rikus sacrifice in the KBG

riku calls out for him and struggles, but MoM just laughs so more.

MoM: there, now its coming back to you. and that wasnt the only time riku sacrificed everything for you, yknow, although it was probably the most heroic instance. remember him taking on ansems form to beat roxas? and his dive into your heart to wake you from slumber, despite the tremendous danger? you only met her briefly, but one of the princesses of heart experienced something very similar.

MoM: aurora. maleficent placed a curse on her when she was a baby, causing the princess and the rest of the kingdom to fall into a deep sleep on her 16th birthday. but the heir to a nearby kingdom, prince phillip, valiantly fought his way to the castle, and woke up the sleeping beauty– through a kiss. a kiss, of true… 

MoM trails off and looks at riku, then back at sora, expectantly. riku is still struggling to free himself before the truth is revealed, but its no use.

sora stares off again, before looking MoM in the eyes.

sora: … love…?

MoM does jazz hands and poses.

MoM: ding ding ding ding! we have a winner! it only took you, what, 12, 13 years to figure it out? honestly, i just couldnt stand watching it go on for any longer.

MoM: but, hey, i still have my honor. if im wrong, im more than happy to apologize.

MoM turns to riku then.

MoM: well? am i wrong, riku?

riku doesnt respond, and MoM sighs dramatically.

MoM: still no answer? okay, guess well have to do this the hard way.

MoM starts hurting sora, causing him to cry out in pain while riku watches helplessly 

MoM: come on, riku! do it! use your true strength! unleash the power hidden within your heart!

sora gasps and winces, barely getting out rikus name 

suddenly, theres a bright flash of pink energy (maybe rikus eyes also turn dream eater pink too?)

(if the power of love is too cheesy even for kh, then maybe its a black and white darkness/light combo attack)

riku breaks free of whatever MoM did to him, and then channels the energy through his arm, blasting it through soras restraints.

unfortunately, sora was being held in the air, and starts to fall– but in the blink of eye, riku is there to catch him in his arms.

MoM laughs in triumph and draws back slightly.

MoM: there we go!

MoM then shrugs.

MoM: well, this was fun, but ive got places to be. and im sure you two have a lot to talk about. toodles!

MoM disappears, leaving sora and riku in stunned silence.

after a moment, riku sets sora down and turns away from him, avoiding soras gaze.

sora meanwhile takes a second to catch his breath, before staring at riku with wide eyes.

sora: r… riku… is… is that...? is that really… how you feel?

riku clenches his fists at his sides and stays turned away. after a pause, he responds.

riku: … even if it is, it doesnt matter.

sora: what do you mean?

riku: i know… im not the one for you.

riku takes a deep breath.

riku: … when you were put to sleep for a year to fix your memories, some of them found their way into xion. they happened to be your most important memories– the ones you couldnt wake up without.

riku: those… were your memories of kairi. and xion took on her appearance because of them.

sora is stunned, only having been vaguely made aware of what happened in that year.

sora: k… kairi?

riku nods solemnly.

riku: yeah. and the only reason your memories got messed with in the first place is because the organization forced namine to make herself the person most important to you, instead of kairi.

sora pauses.

sora: you mean… castle oblivion.

riku nods again.

sora watches, before feeling a pain in his heart and grabbing at his chest instinctively.

underneath his hand, he can feel the cold metal of his crown necklace.

and thats when it finally clicks.

everything blurs, and theres a sudden rush of memories.

(maybe a memory sequence that you actually play through?)

sora, holding kairis wayfinder in castle oblivion. suddenly, the memory gets static-y, like during soras memory restoration.

cut to namine confessing to sora shes not the girl he cares about– but every time the word is feminine, its distorted by video static. (this is how we fix the aitsu thing)

"no. the g̸͓̦͙̫̮̦̠͗͐͗̊͑̕͝i̷͖̝̝̱̐ͅͅŗ̸̄̆̓̆̊̄̿l̶̮͉̦͓͔̹̀̂͗͝ͅ you care about...the one who was always with you... its not me. its ḧ̴̳͔̻̾̇e̵͚͂̀r̸̺̣̠̓̂̀̚."

cut to namine speaking to sora before he goes to sleep.

“but theres another promise you made—a promise to someone you could never replace. s̵̹̀͗͜h̷͇͇͌̆̐e̷̡̛̱'̷̦̆s̵̫͖̦̄̈̄ your light. the light within the darkness. if you can remember h̷̼̼̜͚͒e̸̢̡̤̹̬͖͐̒͒̾r̸͓̣̜̼̜̠͚͂̋̃...all the memories lost in the shadows of your heart will come into the light."

cut to a flashback of repliku talking about their shared promise. again, the feminine words are indecipherable.

"there was a meteor shower one night when s̶̳̄͑̆̅̆͗h̴͍̞͖͙͑̔̋̈́̎̈̾ę̷̧̰̰̖̝͆̆̕̚ and i were little... n̸̨̙̼͑̽ả̴̗͕̮́͊͝m̴̻̳͚̒i̸̳̟͑n̶̡̥̋̑̌é̸͍̦͑͐͋́ got scared and said, what if a shooting star hits the islands? so i told ḧ̷̡̬̽̅͆̊ė̸̙̩̠̥̿̃̚͠r̶̛̥̻̖̉̾̽͝, if a shooting star comes this way, ill protect you! and then—"

cut back to the memory pod.

"look at the g̴̬͛̄̚͘ŏ̴̞̙̰̍͂̀ö̴̘̥̗̱̐͋͆ͅď̷̨͙̙̩̓́͝ ̸̢̋̈́̂̚ļ̷̯̥̲̪̐̋͌̾̚ṵ̵̼̥̥͖̎c̸̱̟̹̚ķ̸̭̱̖̓̇ͅ ̷͇̳̃̑́͑͐͜ͅc̸̢̤̈̈́̊̚̕h̵̙̗̓͊̾ͅą̷̣̮̞̾̈́r̶̜̜͓̥̀́͋͝m̸̺̖͈̖͓̊̀̕. i changed its shape when i changed your memory. but when you thought of ẖ̴͚̙̆ȅ̴̡̛̞̲̥̼̋͐r̸̹̱̐, it went back to the way it was."

finally, a few more lines from namine.

"remembering one thing leads to remembering another, and then another... your memories are connected, like links in a chain. those same chains are what anchor us all together. i dont destroy memories. i just take apart the links and rearrange them. you still have all your memories."

cut back to sora in the real world. everything is still blurry, but now rikus voice can be heard in the background calling for him, distorted.

and then, a flash of light.

nighttime. its still. everything is quiet and peaceful.

young sora and riku are walking back from the beach.

suddenly, theres a bright streak across the sky. 

sora and riku both gasp.

then, another. and another. and another.

the night of the meteor shower.

riku watches the sky in amazement– until he feels a tug on his arm.

he glances at his side and sees sora, utterly terrified and clinging on to him for dear life.

sora: wahhhh!! r-r-riku, the sky is falling!!

riku laughs.

riku: no, those are shooting stars. theyre way up high in the sky.

sora however is not convinced, and keeps shaking as tears start to well up in his eyes.

sora: b-but…! theres so many of them. and theyre so fast!! what if a shooting star hits the islands?!

the reality of soras mood finally sets in, and riku is left staring as he tries to think of what to do.

hanging from his pocket is his wooden sword.

the words of the man with the real sword echo in his mind:

“no more borders around, or below, or above, so long as you champion the ones you love."

riku grabs his sword then and holds it up to the sky as he looks at sora, courage glinting in his eyes.

riku: if a shooting star comes this way, ill protect you! ill hit it right back into outer space!

sora sniffles as he watches riku swing the sword around.

sora: r-really?

riku nods his head confidently.

riku: i will. i promise!

after a moment of thought, riku reaches into his pocket and pulls out a silver chain with a crown dangling from the end.

riku: here. take this. i found it the other day.

with the magic of cutscene, riku somehow turns the chain into a necklace, and then reaches over to hang it around soras neck.

riku: whenever you get scared, all you have to do is look at this, and remember that ill always be there to protect you. no matter what.

tears run down soras face as he looks at the necklace.

the voice of the strange girl theyd met before rings through his mind:

"so then if something happens, and riku is about to get lost—or say, he starts wandering down a dark path alone—you make sure to stay with him and keep him safe. thats your job, sora, and im counting on you to do it, okay?"

sora gulps and then reaches out to grab rikus free hand in both of his own. riku is surprised by this.

sora: ill… ill protect you too! i-i know im not as strong as you, but ill… ill try! i promise!

riku is taken aback for a moment, before he smiles gently at sora.

riku: … thanks, sora.

afterward, a multitude of quick flashbacks to all the times sora and riku protected each other, culminating in seeing the KBG sacrifice one more time.

fade to back.

in a hotel room (or smth similar), sora suddenly sits up straight in a bed, heart beating rapidly.

sora: riku!

(paralleling when riku called out for him after waking up from the dive into his heart in ddd)

riku has been seated at the edge of the bed, waiting and worrying. when he realizes soras awake, he scoots down the bed towards him.

riku: sora! youre okay!

after catching his breath, sora looks around the room, confused.

sora: … what… happened?

riku: you passed out, so i brought you here. how are you feeling?

sora puts a hand to his head, grimacing slightly at his pulsing headache. but that doesnt matter right now.

sora: im… im fine. listen, riku… i saw… i saw some of the things that happened at CO.

rikus eyes widen.

riku: you did?

sora: yeah. i saw you… well, a version of you. and namine. namine…

sora looks into rikus eyes.

sora: she… she was wrong. or… maybe i was wrong, and she just played along for my sake…

riku: huh? what are you talking about?

sora swallows as his voice starts shaking, just a little.

sora: kairi… kairi wasnt the one most special to me. you were. i remember… i remember the night of the meteor shower.

sora clutches at the crown necklace.

sora: all this time, id thought id remembered everything important… but i forgot about it. [sighs] im sorry, riku

riku stays quiet for a moment, before putting on a forced smile.

riku: its fine, sora. we were little kids.

sora frowns.

sora: but… you never forgot, did you?

riku shrugs, and theres a moment of silence between them, before riku speaks again.

riku: maybe i was the one most important to you back then, but its not the same now. thats alright. im just happy to be your friend. i know how you feel about kai-

sora suddenly moves forward, closer to riku, now yelling as he cuts him off.

sora: i get to decide how i feel, riku! its my heart!

riku is taken aback at the shouting, and stares in shock. sora realizes hes gotten loud, and takes a moment to calm down.

dearly beloved starts to play in the bg

sora: i… i know now. maybe it took me a long time, but… i figured it out. the person most important to me… all along, its been you.

riku freezes up in pure shock. he cant believe what hes hearing. hed talked himself out of hoping for this day long ago.

sora finally smiles again.

sora: youre the one i love.

(paralleling prince eric with ariel)

BOOM FIREWORKS MAGIC SORIKU ENDGAME

riku is absolutely speechless, staring at sora with his mouth agape.

sora gives riku a sheepish grin, now growing nervous at the lack of a response.

sora: and… im the one you love… right?

after a second, riku returns soras smile– and, for the very first time in the series, starts crying.

he nods, shakily.

riku: … yeah. yeah, i do. i always have.

riku wipes at his eyes to stop crying, but its futile. the tears flow even harder.

sora feels himself start crying, too, but hes laughing at the same time.

he pulls riku into a hug, grabbing his upper back tightly.

without any hesitation whatsover, riku returns the embrace, holding onto sora in the same way.

(like so [sora in orange, riku in teal])

fade to black.

then they kill the MoM, get married, and live happily ever after. the end. :)

love balancing light and dark is largely taken from these tags by @osrinlore on this video of mine btw:

[dollfacerecs]

— jeon ⋆ jung ⋆ kook

jjk fic recommendation list by clover. 🍀 ↓

♡ = smut ; ♤ = angst ; ♧ = fluff ; ♕ = favorite

main list

♢ mutual help ; ♡, ♤, ♧, ♕ || series — by @personasintro

⇝ fwb, fakedating, slowburn // lmao. if u know me u know this is one of my all time, if not all time fav fic. personasintro really outdid herself w this one. i love her so much she really inspired me to pick up writing again and im glad i did 😭😭 guys when i tell you nothing has ever slowburned the way mutual help has like guys. the messiness of it all THE DRAMA. the jealousy. the pining. the sex. literally the way she wrote jungkook is just too fucking good. what a dream to have a man like this in ur life. i can’t tell you how many times i reread certain chapters and just spend nights thinking abt certain moments like its popular for a reason guys. don’t let the amount of chapters scare you away from diving into this guys its sooofucking goodidndkdnskdn

♢ we weren’t just friends ; ♡, ♤ || series — by @jknoah

⇝ fwb, situationship // guys like.. trust me. jk so fuckin insufferable i need him rn. what a little shit. ughhh i love this. kisses to u noah ! <33

♢ once the thrill expires ; ♡, ♤, ♕ || one-shot — by @alphabetboyluvr

⇝ fwb, situationship // again… jungkook is a fucking asshole and he knows it. the way this author describes the details in this literally so fucking good guys like i need a whole series of this its just excellent 😭😭😭 reread this like 3 times soooo good

♢ about u ; ♤, ♡ || one-shot — by @ugh-yoongi

⇝ exboyfriend!jungkook, jealousy // idk whats up w jk being shitty in fics but i just can’t help it guys. its saur good. this one is so heartbreaking tho like they rlly just love each other man.

♢ soft ; ♡ || one-shot (part of a series) — by @hamsterclaw

⇝ cop!jungkook, mortuaryassistant!reader // jungkook is so fucking cute in this djfbcnf vomitboy <333 and the way he gets teased by the others bc of ur nickname for him dbfhf i also really like this reader

♢ bad decisions ; ♤, ♡, ♧ || series — by @alphabetboyluvr

⇝ bartender!jk, barista!reader // jk and yn are best friends who don’t act like best friends. clearly in love w each other. constant misunderstandings and annoying exes. i havent finished but im very much intrigued. this author is very poetic. very gewd. inspires me a lottt. like this a lot. just excellent.

♢ throttle ; ♡, ♤, ♧ || series — by @alphabetboyluvr

⇝ racer!jk, clerk!reader // jk is soooo damn shady (im not that far into the series yet but i had to recommend bc its already so damn good) and yoongi is the man of my dreams ummm but a bad boy will always prevail and jk in this saurrrr fucking hot i gasp for air

♢ pending…

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

would i be the asshole for contacting my ex to ask them if they could stop talking about me online to a community that knows who i am? (🥐)

tw: kinda emotionally abusive relationship

bg info

me (24f) and my ex (28) were in a three month relationship three years ago following a whole year of friendship. they were my first partner and i came out as a lesbian to everyone during our relationship. when we were together, they were 24 and i was 20. i was very emotionally dependent on them when i was 20 due to mental health issues and so were they which is probably one of the reasons why our relationship was as explosive as it was. i looked up to them, my whole emotional world revolved around them, and our friendship/relationship was the only thing i had in my life at the time. they constantly asked me "hey is it even ethical that im dating you, im 4 years older, you tell me please, oh i feel like such a bad person", yet, they still continued dating me every time they would ask.

our fights were horrible and truly explosive as they broke their stuff in front of me out of anger, threw things at me and insulted me as stupid, amongst many other things. our fights usually ensued because i would ask them for reassurance and they would start panicking and screaming at me to shut up. to be fair, i would cry every time i was asking for reassurance which probably made them feel scared about losing me, so i consider myself 50% at fault for everything that happened in our relationship, i shouldve been able to talk to them in a secure manner that wouldnt trigger their abandonment issues. our fights were quite jarring and made me walk out on them several times out of fear. yet i always came back and apologized and took the whole accountability, even though i dont consider myself the only one at fault. walking out several times during fights was probably one of the worst things i could have done but at the same time i was simply scared. even when i walked out after our last fight, they begged me to come back, which i did, i apologized under tears, and yet, told them that i cant promise them to stay no matter what.. and left.

we met through tumblr and were in a medium distance relationship. after our relationship, i went to a clinic and had to learn a lot about myself, what i experienced and what i want from life. im in a very happy and healthy place now and since the end of 2021 im with my current partner whom i want to be the love of my life and whom ive started to build a life with.

context

i have my ex blocked on all social media because they used to do hour long deep dives into my blog, even as of recently (i have statcounter installed for my safety bc im paranoid about them sending me anonymous asks). at first i also used to visit their blog after our break up but stopped doing so after moving on with my life. one year after breaking up i temporarily unblocked them and explicitly asked them not to look at my social media (or at least to do it in a way in which i dont notice aka asked them not to watch my instagram stories).

while i dont visit their blog/social media because i dont want to know whats going on in their life, tumblr mutuals frequently dm me stuff like "hey i think you should know that your ex posted about you/shit talks about something that you posted". i havent asked my mutuals to tell me whenever this happens but i imagine they do so because within the tumblr space we exist, everyone kind of knows everyone (so my ex doesnt have to mention my name for people to know who theyre talking about). sometimes mutuals send screenshots of the posts so that i dont have to visit my ex's blog. last ive heard my ex joked about throwing jewelry at me and posted extensively about a tattoo that i got. my ex's behavior makes me uncomfortable and feel just as helpless as i did back then.

why i might be the asshole

im scared that they might be venting because i was more at fault in the relationship than them and that i am unconsciously deflecting. however, i talked about every detail of the relationship and this fear extensively with my therapist, friends, and partner who are of the opinion that i was young, scared, and intertwined in a relationship that was incredibly toxic. im still unsure though because my emotions frequently triggered theirs.

why they might be the asshole

i asked them once to stop visiting my social media and i feel like venting about our relationship that broke off 3 years ago to a tumblr community of friends and acquaintances is kind of unfair. however, i might be the asshole and they might just need the space for venting. i could just ignore the vents and let them heal in their own way from what ensued.

WIBTA if i confronted them again and told them that i want them to stop talking about me online? or would i be a party pooper because every person needs a space for venting?

What are these acronyms?

[funnyscienceman]

Ok but like WHYY did ubisoft have to insist with the one game a year thing. Why couldnt they let syndicate cook in the oven more. Why do they have THREE queer men in the same game and not do ANYTHING with them!!!

Like yes, yes, i get it, i get wanting to for once make a story in a fun setting where you dont have to think about real life prejudice and hardships and bigotry and just have characters be silly, i love that too. I do! And id be all for that if doing it just didnt waste a potentially banger study of the characters and the setting ;-;

Like god i go back and forth on this constantly. I already love syndicate as it is, i think it's fun and neat and the happy gaming vibes about it is core to its identity, it's just that simultaneous to that, three queer men in the same game!!!

like GOD im still miffed that there are only, like, two or three fics about this, and so far i havent found any discussion or anything of it, but oh my god how different all three of them are from each other. You could do so much just with having any of them in the same room — and they are often enough in the same room (jacob and either ned or roth at a time), but nothing's really done there!

we have roth who sees fcking nothing wrong with getting kids hurt, because he doesnt actually care about anyone or anything, he's just some fucking joker wannabe that yeah, sure, probably has some anger and resentment at society because he's a gay man in his 40s or 50s by now, but jesus fucking christ retaliation against homophobia does not equal rampant needless unproductive violence roth!!!

then we have ned, who — i mean he doesnt ever give his opinion on whether kids deserve any respect or anything but considering in every other department he's pretty much just Some Guy, it'd be fair to assume he also has the extremely average stance of 'dont fcking kill kids and dont blow up buildings for no good reason??' in the grand scheme of the templar-assassin stuff he has just about as much relevance as roth: roth was just the boss of the blighters, ned just finances the fryes by virtue of them working for him. He probably doesnt even know about it, and tbh i dont even know if he'd care??? But like i imagine roth doesnt care in the way of 'as long as you dont get in my way, it's all set dressing,' ned i imagine would be smth like 'are yall fckin serious? are you kidding me rn? i have to skirt around transphobes on a daily basis, now youre telling me there's a secret society on top of that with even worse ideas?? What the fuck???'

like uh, not caring about it as in 'I cant deal with this rn i need a nap'

HE'S JUST AN EXTREMELY REGULAR PERSON (besides the crime lord stuff) IS WHAT IM GETTING AT.

then there's jacob, who's the youngest out of these guys btw, fckin 21 good god he should be at the club not trying to disassemble systemic oppression— ANYWAY

(ned is 27-28 over the course of the game, btw; we dont actually have a solid timeline for anything, just the year, so tbh jacob could've also been 20 and not 21 yet during the game. both he and ned have late birthdays, just a month apart)

so, yknow, being extremely early 20-somethings, both frye twins just take a train to london completely on impulse and dive headfirst into undoing the templars that've had an iron grip over the city for basically as long as they've been alive, yknow, as you do; and throughout the game jacob has to deal with goddamn daddy issues and fighting with his sister and insecurity and trying to be an assassin — and that's a lot for a guy to handle!! Especially one who's still just a couple years out of being a teenager! That's a fucking lot and if the devs are right, then he hasnt even realized that he's bi yet! Not until roth fucking kisses him while jacob's got a knife in his throat for the aforementioned indiscriminate, unproductive violence!

i mean, granted, yeah there were gay undertones during sequence 8, but i have to admit my bias here because i honest to god cannot take those missions seriously. Roth fucking preaches this and that about freedom and whatnot and then im plopped into the mission and it's the most rule-heavy shit ive ever seen in my short life as an assassin's creed player. Like what the hell, those missions were atrocious. Apprently i need to detonate the bombs a specific way, i cant just shoot them from a distance, i have to hold a button crouching down right next to the bombs, and then run the hell away! I have to avoid THIS and THAT while kidnapping xyz! Like there's freddy's apprehend missions and then there's THIS.

at least with ned's missions all you have to do is get the shit and go… i'm still salty that ubisoft cut his questline because they fucking insist on releasing a game a year >:((

my battery's dying. All these guys are different flavors of queer on top of just being pretty different and pretty similar in various ways, and there's just… barely anything about it. Ned especially, since he's just a quest giver whose screentime totals to, like, 2-5 minutes. I just wish they really did more with the setting; not just the queerness and these three specifically, but like, evie, henry, the class conflict — like there are shreds of it, seeds, but there's not much before you kill starrick and credits roll :((

idk. im just gonna refresh ao3 again cjemddjekjx

[myillusions]

Noisy Sunday (Joel Miller x f!reader)

Summary: You've entered a mindset you're unsure how to come back from, your own emotions drowning you in a pool of despondency. Joel is there, trying to help you pull away from it.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: HEAVYYY angst, fluff, cursing, large descriptions of depression, anxiety, dark thoughts, undefined age gap (reader is of age), kind of dark themes its very somber

A/N: hi hi!! oh my, im so sorry i havent posted in so long. life has been so busy lately with exams and work, but here's this whilst i struggle with that and writers block! sorry (not rlly) that its so angsty, THANK YOU SO MUCH to anyone who reads, i hope u enjoy lovelies! also please please PLEASE i cannot stress this enough; if any of the warnings i've stated make you uncomfortable, please DO NOT read this!! and for anyone who may need to talk, my messages are always open <33

It’s peculiar, you think. How it eats away at you, gnawing down against supple flesh when you’ve already been forcefully spiralled onto the floor. Most say it’s like greeting an old friend; and you agree. It’s almost like reuniting with a family member whom you rarely see at a gathering. The one which then continue to pester you with inquiries you don’t have the vigour to answer. 

It comes in a moment. Sometimes for no reason at all. It reminds you of the subject which stops your musical theatre production mid-way, shining a glaring light towards you whilst you stare wide-eyed back; a deer caught in the headlights. Your character starts to break down around you whilst you’re stood onstage, its pieces cascading along your incapacitated physique like thrashing water which you’ve just dived into from a twenty-foot jump, limbs flailing by your head until the inevitable crash through the translucent liquid stings at your skin.

It attaches itself like a shadow to you, not always so visible yet constantly looming from around your shoulder. It never really made sense to you, how the more the light shines against this tenebrosity, the darker the shadow it casts. Shading you. Smothering you. A copiously adamant fire which refuses to be extinguished, its embers dancing up past the hillocks perched in the distance and threatening to singe anyone who comes near.

It made you yearn for a reposeful night, where the stars shimmered like pools of water in reflection to the sea rather than your own tears surging down your cheeks. Where a modest zephyr tapped gently at your swaying hair, twirling locks around its invisible finger gingerly. Where the whole world paused on its axis, bringing forth those few moments of pure solace. Nothing to bother you, and nothing for you to bother.

“How long has it been since you’ve slept?” A husky voice drawls out from beside you after the door to the front patio squeals open on its hinges, revealing Joel; adorned in his sleepwear of blue plaid print trousers and a black long-sleeved sweater. Considering his normal attire of worn-down jeans and a permanent scowl, he looked almost ridiculous, but in an admiring sort of way. His inquiry forcefully dragged you from the dazed state you had found yourself caught in, your eyes hauling themselves to face him laboriously slow, like it was strenuous to do so. You blinked a multitude of times to attempt to clear your head of its cloudiness.

You gave a harsh swallow before you even attempted to reply, “Not long. I just needed some water and air.” You lied right through your teeth, wincing towards the factor that a glass of water was sitting idly beside you on a tall and round wooden coffee table, still full to the brim with the reflecting liquid. Joel didn’t look convinced. To be honest, you had maybe caught a total of eight hours of sleep in the past three or four days, if lucky. Your body drums with craving for rest at the deprivation, but you couldn’t bring yourself to relax for long enough to lull into even a light rest, thoughts striking their way through forcefully in the canvas of your head, ripping downwards to leave their mark fiercely, consistently reminding you that pain is not an easy thing to ignore.

If you could say the apocalypse surfacing has brought you anything, it’s that it’s made you tired. So tired. But there are two types of tired, you suppose; one is a dire need of sleep, the other is a woeful need for peace.

Joel exhales past his nose harshly, his head dipping downwards for a moment, maybe in disappointment- you’re not sure. Either way, your stomach lurches with guilt, and you turn your head to face forward once again and pay rigorous attention to each detail lining the Jackson street in front of your given accommodation. The street was entirely empty, the only sound to be heard within earshot being the light whisk of the breeze against your supple skin, reddening the tip of your nose and turning your fingertips numb. You should’ve guessed Joel wouldn’t believe your white lie. Knowing him, he likely noticed you retracting the sheets from your legs and his arms strewn around your waist at just the start of the night, before tiptoeing down the stairs as quietly as possible to weave through the kitchen then to the front patio, where you have been set for a couple of hours now.

You’re both silent for multiple pregnant pauses, and you have to fight the urge to nibble nervously against your bottom lip, apprehension swirling within your chest.

“Do you want to come back to bed?” Joel tries cautiously, to which you visibly tense. You tilt your chin downwards dubiously, before giving an almost indistinguishable shake of your head from side-to-side.

Joel doesn’t give a response to your discreet answer, but instead pushes himself forwards from where he’s leaned against the doorframe to move past you and settle against the uncomfortable wooden chair opposite your own. The chair creaks as he perches himself there, the only intruding sound to the tranquillity before it swallows you both whole once again, thudding against the thin air which is gradually turning palpable. It’s suffocating.

“…Would you-“ He starts, his gaze turning upwards from the patios surface to face you, “Want to talk about it?”

Your heart throbs agonisingly at his offer, your fingertips tracing the wrecked linen material of your pants. You try a small, consoling smile, one that barely reaches your eyes; your head lifting to face him.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You murmur back, sombrely. You weren’t fibbing about this, though. There was no explanation as to why you were feeling this surge of perplexing emotions. It appeared as if it were just a protruding root sticking awkwardly out from the soiled terrain, its only task to trip and surprise anyone who were unfortunate to tread along. Even if you wanted to talk with Joel about it, you weren’t sure how to put it into words. It’s fine, until it’s not; a surprise.

“I can’t help you if you won’t let me.” Joel speaks, his voice softer than usual, as though he was afraid for what your reaction would be.

You bottom lip purses as you bite down against your tongue roughly, almost drawing blood to quarrel against the melancholy rising in your throat. You’re not sure how to reply- you don’t wish to reply. You would rather descend into the quietude than face this situation. It’s not that you liked the silence, no- you actually despised it. Silence gave any thoughts swirling around the midst of your head permission to inflate and rise to the surface, bobbing up and down there, whilst its limbs helplessly thrash around, wishing to get back to shore.

It's only after you notice that Joel is still peering over at you expectantly do you swallow gratingly, opening your mouth to answer.

“Well, I- It’s not anything, I’m fine-“

“Why can’t you just stop for once in your life?”

“What?” You ask, your voice cracking at its edges. Your brows shoot upwards at his words, taken aback.

“You lie to me, act like you’re okay- when you’re so clearly not and you won’t even let yourself realise that you need help.” He speaks sternly, eyes firmly trained on you- whilst you can’t even meet his gaze, eyesight shifting to anywhere but where he’s sat opposite you.

You weigh over your words, a trepidatious lump forming inside your throat. Your vision blurs at its corners, your brain fogging over with despondency.

“Please don’t make me say it.” You eventually speak again, your voice strained painfully, as your head drops down in a swaying motion, defeated.

Joel doesn’t reply, but instead reaches forward, gently placing his hand atop your own where its set against your thigh. He gives a gentle squeeze, urging you to blink back up towards him, where he’s peering at you with a softened gaze; and you can’t fight off the tears that instantaneously build up against your vision, attempting to rip past your shields and barriers which are gradually toppling down around you.

“I am barely holding on.” You admit, your shoulders slumping forward with the heaved effort of speaking without letting a cry rip through in interruption, causing a few teardrops to plunge down the canvas of your cheeks. A harrowing headache thrums against your forehead, your field of view only worsening, but not enough that you can’t see the way that Joel’s expression is overcome with visible empathy, which only results in making your stomach lurch more.

“And I-“ You exhale sharply, “And I can’t even tell you why. I just- there’s this thing, and it’s weighing over my shoulders. I can’t shake it.”

“You don’t have to find the perfect words. Just tell me what you’re feeling. I’m here.” He encourages softly.

“It’s like- like I’m here, but I’m not. I’m away from my body, watching over myself; whilst continuously being dragged backwards by this unknown force- pushing me somewhere I think I know. It’s like déjà vu, when you walk into a room, and you don’t where you know or remember it from, but you can feel that you recognise it. I-I’m angry, I’m sad and I’m confused. Maybe I just have a built-up resentment against the world.” You speak rather sullenly, but try to mask it with a small, tight-lipped smile towards Joel once your brief monologue comes to an end.

“I can’t say I know exactly what you’re feeling. But… I don’t want you to push me away. I want to try and help you, in any way that I can. But I can’t if you won’t allow me to. And… I don’t want it to seem like I’m tryin’ to coddle you, or anythin’. It’s because- y’know, I care about you.” Joel speaks steadily, his gaze shimmering with uncertainty.

Your heart lurches downwards in repentance with his words, as though you were liable for your own shifting thoughts and feelings. It bruises you; how much you’ve allowed your emotions to take hold, guiding the wheel in a swerve as rubber burns against asphalt distastefully. How far you’ve come, just to end up here. You know you need help. You’re just unsure how to accept any. But you know that you wish to breathe again. To hold out a hand to loved ones. To be afraid of death again. To have excitement at the idea of different winding roads. To feel free as a light breeze washes against your skin, clearing any distress from you in a wave. You wish to dream again. This longing is what powers your words onwards, as you peer over at Joel, vulnerable,

“I need help.”

Joel’s hand raises from the back of your palm, and instead encompasses your icy fingers with his warmer ones, intertwining them. He searches your eyes for a moment, and once he discovers a bold outline of authenticity, he promptly nods towards you.

“Together?”

“Together.” You reply.

It evokes a memory of a familiar oak tree. One you were very accustomed to when you were younger, before the outbreak. As a child, you used to wonder down the street to the park perched at the end after every school day. Outlining the grounds, just opposite a wooden bench, was an oak tree. Tall and mighty; confidence resonating from its stance, daring anyone to meddle with it. Thick arms branching from its moss-coated wood, whilst the lime-coloured leaves bundled against each other cascaded the surrounding distance in shade. You would lay beneath it, basking in the frigid yet reassuring atmosphere it created, hair messily sprawled out around your head. You would frequently come to the spot to just rest within the constant spiralling of the world, watching as the tree’s features changed with the reoccurring seasons; its leaves shifting from green to gold, from gold to ginger, then from ginger to cherry, and then falling, oscillating down to the soil with the wind, before repeating its cycle. It was almost soothing, watching its colours shift around with the change of the earth, whilst resolutely remaining staunch in its attitude, its branches a prime symbol of vigour. Changing, but still remaining what it is; strong. You deeply envied that, and hoped- wished, that someday you would build yourself up to resemble that oak tree.

"We drink the poison our minds pour for us and wonder why we feel so sick." - Atticus

Noisy Sunday - Patrick Watson

Comments and feedback are appreciated!

[beardisable]

The Ring

ok im very suprised i havent seen a post about the ring yet(maybe i didnt look far enough idk) but here's some Thoughts i had right away hurm, its long oops

my first thought seeing this was the caduceus symbol as ive seen at least some ppl mention

which i thought was VERY interesting, considering 1 the hermes connection and 2 the connection i recalled to doctors/medicine

according to wikipedia at least this symbol IS for hermes, with some great connotations for both the rogue's identity and for the doctor who has the ring now

Hermes himself... protector of humans, travelers, thieves(rogues...?), messenger of the gods... can move anywhere quickly with the aid of something, mercury which is the beautiful volatile liquid metal... the divine trickster(are you the court jester lmao), god of cunning, language, wit...

the wand itself, to send people to a gentle death or even resurrect them? role of the soul guide.

much to think about...

ANWYAYS the use of the caduceus for medical organizations is actually kind of a misuse

the Rod of Asclepius is actually the correct symbol, with no wings and one snake

i went on kind of a Dive and the rod's name is related to a god that was seen as a patron for medical practicioners, and invoked in taking the hippocratic oath

Now how is this relevant ??

WELL it might not be. maybe i got the symbol wrong, as i honestly feel i did, bc it looks a bit like a sword if i look at it differently

BUT. if i were to indulge myself i think this has many interesting implications.

So like. first thoughts: oh its the caduceus symbol? i think it has some kind of relation to doctors? AHHHH see very much fits for the doctor! and its a symbol for hermes as well who is a traveller god, jack of all trades... fits !

which might just be the correct reading, a cool significant choice

But im also now thinking about the Layers that i pointed out earlier... how its NOT actually the symbol of doctors/is mistakenly used as it... implies some kind of "not what it seems" that has been constant over this season, implies lying, a front, a mask... possibly incompetence? misunderstanding?

The oath taken invokes the god of the correct symbol, and it just made me think about The Doctor title... about all the conflict over it and if it fits the doctor after all, how it's a self imposed title instead of something given, does it really fit with their actions all the time? do they follow the oath? first do no harm? they surely try

and yes it did make me think about the rogue is master theories and hints, i am not completely convinced on it, but if it were true? Very Master to give the Doctor a ring with a false symbol for his identity...

OTHER read on this is of course. what if the symbol is about the Rogue instead? He does also seem to fit many of the allusions. especcially being a thief/rogue... hummmmm

i dont really have a Big Point, this is mostly rambling lmao, i wanted to get these thoughts out

also most of my knowledge is from wikipedia and percy jackson so if anyone actually educated in this mythology or the history of medicine wants to weigh in, i absolutely welcome you :D

[isa-ah]

what are your top reasons for hating totk? i havent actually played yet but i like listening to you talk and love being a hater so 👀 whats those opinions

oh my god okay i tried to do a cliffnotes of this like 10 times and it got so long and ugly every time let me just show u some of my favorite totk breakdowns:

and for good measure here is ZELTIKS review, which, in the wise words of skitty bitty, "you have to really fuck up to disappoint the professional nintendo fanboys" (thats his face when they say it LOL):

what i need you to understand is that i was HUGELY active in the zeldatube sphere while botw was a hot topic. the amount of fan theory videos about literally every aspect of the game was a never ending gush of inspiration, every day, for years and years and years. it never slowed down. monster maze, nintendo black crisis, masked nintendo bandit, zeltik- videos CONSTANTLY surfacing about new ideas and details theyd come to appreciate and speculate on.

when the first totk trailer dropped we ALL lost our minds. especially because the zonai had gone from a niche mention to center stage, from center stage to meme, and from meme back around to being talked about in earnest. when the trailer showed ZONAI ARCHITECTURE i cannot EXPLAIN how exciting that was. the videos were coming out right up until launch day, tripping over each other to be seen.

so how the fuck did tears of the kingdom go SO BADLY despite having zonai as the CENTERPIECE OF THE GAME that i have seen next to NO fan theories, speculation or deep dives into it? at all? in the YEAR since it released, the ONLY tears of the kingdom content ive seen are meme builds or disappointed retrospectives like the above. all of the botw content came to a screeching hault and nothing has cropped up to fill that void since. its been crickets. even the speedrunners like linkus that i follow are hard pressed to want to play the game because the opening segment is SUCH a slog.

this game was SO BAD it stopped the entire zeldasphere i was in on youtube. the only things ive seen since are some tentative excitement towards echoes of wisdom, and even those have come with severely tamed expectations. thats it. it fucking sucks

[redlestat]

hannibal season 2 thoughts

this was my first time watching the show and all of this are all my own opinions. i do not have any knowledge of the show except of what i have watched

PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL SEASON 2 TO ME AS I HAVENT WATCHED IT YET

i genuinely don’t know where to begins my head was so clear in s1 but right now im 🙂

“did you think you changed me like i changed you” “i already did”

this exchange resumed the whole season perfectly.

when will will was in the BSHCI he changed, he accepted this part of him he tried so hard to refute for both reason :

- understand hannibal and dive into his darkness to catch him just like he would do to a crime scene

- everyone think im insane why fight it and just embrace it. he has nothing better to do anyway

as the season goes, it is evident will is becoming hannibal-like and we see that the whole season, the way he thinks, he even adopts hannibal’s sense of style and hairstyles. The empathy that once defined him isn’t that noticeable anymore.

for exemple he orchestrated all by himself and in his own mind hannibal’s murder by manipulating the nurse and hannibal in the process. he only had one purpose and it was to get hannibal and he was willing to do anything no matter the consequences. He doesn’t stop even after his release. he chose to go back to hannibal to enter his mind to uncover the truth, find evidences and expose him. He was well aware it meant being under hannibal’s manipulation again and i think Will lost himself in confusion between who he really was, what he wanted, his objectives and his feelings towards hannibal wether it was platonic or romantic.

When bringing human meat to hannibal was to please hannibal, to make him think they’re even more identical that he thought but also to understand hannibal’s world. We know freddie lounds isn’t dead and will would never bring animal meat as Hannibal would recognize the authenticity of the meat so in my opinion it’s Randal Tier as we saw that will had part of him in his refrigerator.

at the end will had to choose between his loyalty to justice and hannibal and he chose both. im convinced will was never going to let that dinner happen, but he couldn’t just run away with hannibal because his empathy couldn’t abandon jack and his sense of justice behind, he probably would have surrendered himself with proof that hannibal’s was the chesapeake rippers.

in the first half of this season, i really hated hannibal. I think it’s because we didn’t get to see his friendship with will wich balanced things out in season 1 . Plus he didn’t have a psychiatrist anymore, we couldn’t understand him or what he was doing. Not being able to understand hannibal was a big struggle for me this season, to connect or feel bad for him. he was unpredictable, unreadable.

hannibal started to become more like will, because he started to have feelings, started to have empathy and something/someone to care about. he saved jack’s wife because he valued their friendship, he killed the judge because he could not bear to have will get the death sentence.

hannibal didn’t kill abigail because he wanted to create a “family” with Will, he wanted to give will a child. family was never something he anticipated before.

his thing was alana was weird it showed us how far hannibal is willing to go, he obviously didn’t love her or have feelings for her it was all to manipulate her and to let will only have one person which is him. To me it’s also Hannibal's desire for control as he felt his influence over Will slipping. Controlling someone like Alana, who seemed more susceptible, gave him a sense of stability amidst the chaos. It showed his need to maintain power in his world, even as things fell apart around him. But in reality he still had will and everything under his fingers besides will being aware of the manipulation he still went in.

this whole season was how will and hannibal cannot bring to kill each other no matter how much they needed to. when hannibal sent randal tier he for sure knew will would kill him. He sent him to satisfy will’s need to kill more than anything else.

will pointed his gun at hannibal far enough to kill him but he was never able to pull the trigger. he told peter “i envy your hate because its makes it easier to kill”. that’s why he cannot get to kill hannibal because no matter everything hannibal has done, Will cannot get himself to hate him. he loves hannibal, he wants to spend time with him even if it in a very toxic environment.

in season 1 it was unclear what type of feelings they had for each other but it’s very clear this time, undeniable. it cannot have words to describe it but its beautiful in it’s own way.

no one knows them better than each other. Despite the lies, the covers they aren’t themselves more than when they are together. They never say it explicitly but they know. Every of their dialogue is a love letter.

here are my favorite quotes that are worth a thousands i love you

“ do you have a shadow peter?, someone only you can see, someone you considered a friend, he made you feel less alone”

“i would kill you with my hands” “guns lack intimacy”

“stay with me” “where else would i go”

i need to talk on this one. Hannibal made sure will had no one in his life expect him so when will said this, it’s a mix of resentment towards hannibal control over his life and entourage but also the fact that even with that he wants to be with him in such situations, because he feel safe and understood despite the facades and the danger.

“we know where we are with each other, shouldn’t that be enough?”

the achilles and patroclus dialogue

they both know they can kill eachother at any time but they can’t stay apart for too long. even at the end, when hannibal felt the most betrayed and vulnerable, he couldn’t get himself to kill will. yes he stabbed him but hannibal knowledge of the human body is far enough for him to know what and what not could kill a man. He could harm him without killing him. hannibal killed his own sister but couldnt bring himself to to kill will. When he hugged will , it felt like he was apologizing, to feel him one last time, to show him that he does love him despite all of this. Will understood hannibal bc he felt the same thing at the beginning of the season. that’s why he didn’t defend himself and even if he did it would just be a battle going nowhere with no death.

i was surprised when Hannibal killed abigail, im not sure why he did it. Maybe he thought will loved abigail more than he loved him, or perhaps he didn’t want them to be together without him when he left or even to show him what it is to lose someone you love. He showed his control over will’s life once again.

This season was a roller coaster, the killings were even more beautiful than the first season, and the killers even more insane, making hannibal kind of look good. The cinematography, the transition, the parallels, the soundtrack were perfect.

My favorite scene was the dinner between will and hannibal when will brought meat. it was just perfect.

side notes: i loved jimmy and zeller and wished we have seen more of their dynamic. i understand that it is due to beverly passing but they brought a bit of laugh and fresh air in this very dark and cold blooded show.

[crescencestudio]

Devlog #33 | 07.26.23

Hi everyone!

It's only been a month (per usual) since the last devlog. But it feels like so long ago! Very weird that last devlog I hadn't even released Intertwine yet. But here we are, back with another one!

Before we get into things, I want to extend the biggest thank you to everyone who has played and supported intertwine!

if you havent played yet, here it is. this is me on my knees asking because i am quite proud of it and what our team accomplished in two months!

in the almost month it's been out, we stand at almost 15k total plays and 200+ reviews which is so crazy to me. i never would've expected that kind of reception for our little game and when i say it has been so motivating for alaris!!! u dont even know!!!

thank you again for all the kind words---i know you are all Sick of me talking about it but i don't know how else to express my gratitude <3 it means so much to me ;_;

I wanted to make sure I inserted an official section for it in the Devlog just to really thank you all for the support. But with that, I shall get into the updates!

But not before a quick belated happy birthday to Fenir!

Writing

I posted it earlier this week, but I HAVE!!! THE MOST EXCITING NEWS!!! At least for me.

I FINISHED DRUK'S FIRST DRAFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all know how long this has been in the making. I've been talking about his route for what feels like an eternity. Evidently, it's Very Normal to experience burnout, struggles with motivation, creative ruts, etc. etc. at this point in development. The initial and final stages of development are easier because your motivation is up. In the beginning, it's like Wow!! This is Fun!! And towards the end, it's like Wow!!! I actually Fckn Made It!!!!

And so the middle part of development, aka the stage I just entered with Druk's route, is the slog.

Now that I've overcome that initial hurdle, while I'm not near the end of development, I do feel like I will have a better handle of progress on the following routes since I have a better set of expectations and tools on how to get through this stage (compared to when I initially started Druk's route, and I was like what are all these Feelings?? Why am I Struggling so much??).

That being said, WE ARE OVER HALFWAY DONE WITH THE SCRIPT! It currently stands at 200k words including the demo, and with how each of the routes have been shaping up, we have about 150k left to go. Wow!!!!! It is crazy to know I've written that much for Alaris, and this feels like such an exciting milestone to know that I'm over halfway there for the script!

We also have just about wrapped up Fenir's developmental edits, so that makes Kayn and Fenir's foundational versions of their routes done (all that would be left at this point is line tweaking and/or revisions based on beta feedback)!! Overall, this was a really exciting month for writing updates, and I'm so happy to feel back on track with Alaris development <3 I also finished my dissertation proposal in case anyone is keeping track of that HEEHOO

Art

Most of my attention for art was (un?)fortunately on Intertwine this month AGAIN. I really had anticipated being able to dive right into Alaris and irl work this month after Otojam ended. But the reception to Intertwine made it so I needed to dedicate some time to "marketing" artwork aka the artwork I like to make when reaching certain milestones of support (e.g., 1k downloads, etc.). Obviously these aren't necessary, but I like to show my thanks and appreciation in some way, and the artwork is what feels best conveys my gratitude.

Because we hit milestones relatively quickly, I ended up having to make those pieces faster than I anticipated prior to release. So I spent the first half of this month mostly on intertwine "promotional/apprecation" artwork. Near the tail end of this month though, I've prioritized Alaris artwork and have made progress on both the Kickstarter physical rewards and some CG sketches!

sneaky peeky of pretty mermay Aisa

Vui continues to hit it out of the park with the backgrounds. Most of them are spoilers at this point. But I do have one that isn't too bad of a spoiler! And because you all have been so supportive and patient with me, I show hehe

vui and his bg mastery: a preview of the dragon springs

The demo mentions dragon springs (I..... think......... LMAO), and here is a preview of what those dragon springs can look like. Wonder what the context will be in which we visit them, teehee! I'm in love with the way Vui brings the fantasy world of Alaris to life. I am so grateful for him ^^

Market Research

My wrist was feeling ~delicate~ this month due to Otojam crunch and then post-release pieces. So I don't have any actual art pieces to showcase this month for market research. I did play Otojam games and started Cupid Parasite (ryuki and allan my beloveds). But crescence's wrist needs to relax LOL. So no art pieces more than necessary for this month!

I will send some love to my besties over at Ravenstar Games though! If you haven't heard, they have a game currently in development called Lost in Limbo. It looks sick as hell, and the team is unbelievable talented and hardworking. This month to celebrate Barbie, they were able to sneak this promotional piece in, even while working on their Master's ((Do you see...... a familiar group of people..... heh))

Alaris x Lost in Limbo x Barbie the collaboration of the century

That's all from me for now. Thank you again for all the support and love on Intertwine! I've truly cherished all the fanwork, reviews, kind messages, etc.

That being said, while it was a bit of a struggle getting back returning to the Alaris world initially (I was literally like what.... was the plot of this again... LMAOsazodujf), it's been so rewarding to return to my OG gang. The intertwine release and return to Alaris work has also been strangely sentimental since it's reminded me how far I've come in the two years I've been in this dev Thang. As always thank you for your continued support (and for supporting Alaris since it's inception when I was a Wee Dev), and I look forward to bringing you more updates in the future <3

See you all next month, and stay safe!

[mysteriouslee]

lee!alex switch!sam switch!clover ler!gladis

Today was a slow day, the girls had no assignments, no classes, no dates and for what it seemed, no missions. Thank Christ for that.

Sam lay on her bed, curled up with a good book, listening to Ricky Mathis. Suddenly she heard a shriek from Clover. Then she got up to see the commotion. When she opened her door she witnessed a giggling Alex running as fas as she can away from a determined Clover.

"What's going on!" She yelled, grabbing on to Clover before she ran down the stairs.

"It's Alex! I was trying out this new outfit I got yesterday, then when it was over my head, she snuck up on me and tickled me! I fell over and almost tore the tag off" explained the blonde.

The red head sighed and shook her head. For the past week Alex had been pulling pranks on them and sneaking up on them to tickle them then run away.

"I say it's high time we get ourselves a nice cold dish of revenge" the green clad spy said with a smirk.

Two hours later....

The girls went out for a little while the returned to their dorm. In between Sam and Clover was Alex eating the froyo they bought her.

"I'll pay you guys back as soon as possible, I swear" said the ravenette.

Sam and Clover smiled sweetly and very suspiciously.

"Don't you worry your cute little head about Alex, it's on the house" responded the red clad spy.

"You guys are acting weird"Alex accused, stepping back warily.

"Alex c'mon, we just wanted to treat you,since you want to pay us back, would you mind giving us a hug" Sam asked nicely, however her exspression seemed suspicious.

Alex stared at them with suspicion as they closed in to hug her.

"This has nothing to do with messing with you guys all week, right guys? The orange clad spy questioned.

"What ever do you mean" Clover said awkwardly.

That settles it.

Alex attempted to get away, however Clover over dived foward, toppling over all three of them.

"Oh no you don't!"exclaimed Clover.

Sam found her way on top of Alex beside Clover. "Guhuhys" Alex began giggling nervously.

"Oh Alex, we havent done anything to you yet" Sam pointed out

"Ihih knohow, I cant hehelp ihihit" the ravenette covered her face in embarrassment. Sam and Clover looked over at their friend fondly, giggling to each other. "Just let us know when we go too far Al" Sam said, ruffling Alex's hair. Alex felt delicate nails tracing up her back and the restrained giggles were quick to follow. Next, she felt Sam's palms against her sides. Sam pinched and squeezed Alex's sides up and down and Alex buried her face in the carpet. Sam moved down to Alex's hips and the shriek was immediate. "SAHAHAMMYYYY" screamed Alex.

Clover leaned down to give Alex raspberries on her neck. Alex's whole body convulsed and she tried to buck Clover and Sam off with all her might. "It can't be that bad Alex" Clover remarked

"It is for Alex, she's the most ticklish person I've ever come across" Sam teased

" *snort* PLEAHAHAHASE" Alex cried out "Please what ?" asked Clover Alex shook her head, she wasn't falling for that this time......like the other bajillion and counting times.

A few minutes passed and Samantha and Clover had a managed to reduce Alex to a mess. Alex indicated that she couldn't handle anymore and just as they let up, a trap door opened beneath them. The trio plummeted into Jerry's office, groaning as they nearly missed the couch. "Greetings ladies" Jerry welcomed. "Jer, can I have like a couple minutes to recuperate, Sam and Clover almost just killed me" Alex sighed

"You deserved it you goblin" Clover retorted, reaching over to poke Alex. Jerry snickered at their shenanigans and Gladis's eye seemed to focus in on Clover. Suddenly a few mechanical arms reached over and began tickling Clover, on and under her knees and on her shins, which just so happened to be her worst spots. " *snort* AHAHAHAGLAHADIHIIS" shrieked the blonde. "I'll avenge you Alex" Gladis stated robotically. Sam noticed Gladis turning their gaze over to her, and before she could register anything, mechanical hands were now attacking her stomach. Sam threw here head back and dissolved into cackles. " *hic* *snort* NAHAHAHAH" Sam let out hysterically.

Jerry sighed, I guess the mission can wait a few minutes.

[spamtoon]

DCRC week 3 time! ...In week 4.

you see. every time i wanted to open this comic. i wanted to do something else actually sosososososo bad. however now's the time

my history with the comics is ZILCH. i've had my friend show me a few duck comics they had in their first language and i've read some of the darkwing stuff but i haven't dived head first into scrooge's origins the way that many other duckblr members have

please note i might be off because i am very tired as of writing this. i will pass out directly after i finish this and so my judgements might be a bit. Strange

First comment I'd like to make her is how professional the comic seems, though that may just be because i'm viewing this though the don rosa archive on the definitely legal website. i'm glad at the very least that all of these like. little comics that are hard to keep track of are in one place

second off i just want to shoutout how tiny louie is here. ity bity. the 87 triplets are so small. sorry this is how it is with me i'm like wow... i appreciate these comics and all of the work people put into them and then im like oh louie little

Oh my aching eyebulbs! I did in fact misread that as lightbulbs

great panel we've got going on here. og glomgold acting quite fruity while donald needs to catch the thing... Glomgold you do understand you are also claiming other people's fortunes given the work for you in the south african diamond mines... a detail that i've only ever heard in trivia until now.

donald is so just continuously done with their garbage and he deserves to be i think. for all he's been through

sorry i just like the exaggerated poses here and the sillouettes and line effects. showcasing the them

Oh deliver us!

sorry i just love the expressions (and posing in the third) here. i know i'm mainly admiring comic panels so far but dang it. they...

aaaaand this is where the stuff that. didnt quite age starts. i've heard from chatter on discord that Things Happen in this comic and that scrooge should be wanted in Peru because of it. they way that some of the descendants are just casually helping him gnngnsn. i understand it was the 80s...

glomgold ate in this outfit and i'm sure you all agree. assuming this is glomgold i havent read that yet but look at him. that's glomgold. his goofy ahh smirk

FOEIJFIOUSGJEIAFEAFOJIUEAAEJOFEADAEFJIEA well. i did forget that glomgold held scrooge at gunpoint. and he does! i'm so . the way he's just. being held at gunpoint and scrooge's reaction is like THIS IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE i'm so. not even a gun can stop scrooge mcduck. or the triplets for that mater they also are kinda unphased at this point

another case where i just want to note these panels for the pose and expression contrast between the two of them... they

FEAHUIAOEJFEA the cogging way that the sound effects STREEEEETCH across the winds. priceless i think

i also want to note the action panels in the plane crash section i'm so. this one in particular but all of them really

Okay so i guess they were just. stuck with glomgold for multiple days. and scrooge is like where the barp is everyone ohhhh curse me cog darn kilts sorry

also omg calisota mention. calisota girls we're unforgesorry

glomgold's little happy handstand... you deserve to dark.wing cartwheel actually i think. also caro thinking about quack.erjack

parrot mention (context. im normal about that phone guy)

also please know before it registered that was a shine effect i thought the zebra's tail was a Bomb for a second and that the twist was going to be it all explodes in glomgold's face. but alas

HUIDAEJIOJFAEIJF THE WAY SCROOGE IS JUST. CASUAL ABOUT IT like dammmm you guys were slow. the fact scrooge has just had a little setup out here i'm so. yeah let's prank glomgold

im so mad... its beautiful. ive heard comics scrooge vs dt.17 scrooge described as business scrooge vs family scrooge and if this isn't way to differentiate between the two of them. the adventure's over because Business glomgold.

sorry every serious comic person that may or may not be reading this because i am. not very serious especially right now but please know i have so much respect for these and cant wait to read more. except i have to do an assignment first. two assignments. four. school is kicking my behind right now thats part of why i'm late but i will catch up eventually. now time to go to sleep

OH WAIT THERES MORE COMIC hold on wait what if you see this while i'm editing no you don't. i can't believe i actually got juked by the fake ending. i will admit i have been coasting along for a bit now but Now i am invested

the way he spends multiple panels gloating about the gems specifically... both of them are so petty here and its beautiful

rooooolling giiiiirl sorry my legitimate first thoughts. i am having an era right now. yes glomgold chase your big gem frisbee

the way that they're dragging both of them out and away from each other. like alright folks. time to break it up here. you're gonna destroy the temple. and they do!

GLEEP!

okay now its the end. this comic has made me a fan of comic glomgold and thats what i'm going to say here. good night everyone i hope this is a great start to my beautiful comic journey

[oldestenemy]

How far into playing Wizard101 are you because i dont want to give a character you havent met yet?

That being said...

Duncan. I know you have thoughts on the lad

I'm. hangon I genuinely forgot--hold please while i log in--i'm like twenty quests deep into Lemuria (so, just out of the starting area basically). I am fully caught up as far as the story and stuff goes as I've never been one to care about spoilers so I'm aware of everyone I am simply not, hmm, not attached to everyone I have yet to meet (looking at you Heroes of Lemuria).

ANYWAYS

Duncan fucking Grimwater you stupid fool of a child.

(I want to clarify what I mean by "The fandom is so mean" which is that I--and a decent chunk of the people I used to talk to early-days wiz and when I would bounce back into it after a long break HATED Duncan, found him extremely arrogant annoying and insufferable to interact with. Prime Confront Character energy. Younger Stevie would look at my feelings on Duncan Grimwater and go "How and more importantly why.")

ANYWAYS, I am so extremely abnormal about Duncan Grimwater. For a variety of reasons. Arc 3 was the first time I'd ever seen like, wizard101 story spoilers as they came out, because when the whole brain dive with Mellori and Grandmother Raven came out the tag ended up trending on Tumblr and I remember distinctly going "what on earth could wiz have done to make this happen?" and it was canonize the yw as being from earth and also grandmother raven is evil????? (again, concepts as my brain took them back then, but still, wild revelation for someone who had been stuck in zafaria for two years).

So I started diving into the spoilers and found out we got to duel Duncan by way of stumbling across his enemy/monster page on the wiki and just. Dude. Dude. It changed something in my brain alright? Because Duncan trying to be an agent for the schism, ending up as this weird mirror to the yw, as another child soldier on the other side, I just lost it.

Anyways canon is dead to me where Duncan is concerned, he's with the Wizard from Empyrea onwards and he is going to loathe every fucking second of being dragged through Karamelle.

<3

-Stevie/the wizard Nightshade

[redheadloverr]

Distracting him from work

gn!reader x diluc

cw: nsfw, praising, fluff

A/N : hey hey long time no see, sorry for any spelling / grammar mistakes I will fix this later lol. This will hopefully be first of many more fics to come!

“Luc!” You were ecstatic to hear your boyfriend coming home from work. You thought he was coming home earlier tonight but ended up staying at the tavern later than planned.

“Hi baby, I’m sorry I had to stay late. Did you eat already?” he says hugging and kissing you on the top of your head.

“I ate lunch but I havent eaten dinner yet. I was waiting for you, Luc.” you say letting him go as he takes off his coat and shoes.

“Hun, you should’ve ate earlier, I still have some work I have to do before I can end the night.” Diluc said in a sad tone.

“You should eat too though! You’ve had a long day at work and I understand you have to finish up some things for work but you should eat before you dive back into work Luc!” You say eagerly waiting for his response. Diluc told you he wouldn’t be able to make it back earlier today but you still wanted to wait for him and have dinner with him like you wanted. You weren’t gonna let him dive back into work that easily.

“Baby, I would love nothing more than to eat dinner with you but I should really get working.” He held your hands and kissed you once before embracing you in his arms. “You can bring some dinner upstairs though and we can eat in my office, would that make it up to you?” He said it so softly, it was for you and you only to hear. None of the maids were at home still so he had no reason to whisper it other than to show you how sincere he was and how much of a soft spot he had for you.

You nodded excitedly as he stopped embracing you, you were almost jumping up and down. He smiled softly and kissed the top of your head one last time before going up to his office without a word. You didn’t mind though, you knew how equally excited you two would be for this even without words. You quickly ran to the kitchen and made a simple dinner. It wasn’t fancy like the maids make your meals but it was enough for the two of you to enjoy. After you finished making your dinner you quickly walked back upstairs to find Diluc in his office. You knocked twice before opening his office door.

“Hi, baby.” He said with a smile. “You know you don’t have to knock, my love.” He chuckled softly.

“I know, I just wanted to.” You said chuckling as well.

You sat down in a chair he pulled up next to him. You watched as he moved some papers aside to make room for the food. You decided to share the food on one plate so he didn’t have to make much room. You both took a bite before continuing with your conversation.

“How was work?” You say eagerly waiting to hear his voice again. It was really something else, Diluc had the voice to make you go absolutely crazy. He knew it. He had to know. There’s no way he didn’t know how much you loved his voice. Diluc may not have been a eager talker but with you he opened up so much more than he did with anyone.

He talked about his day like normal, he told you about some wild customers, told you about the staff, about venti’s drunkard self. You could do nothing but stare and admire him. By the time he had recapped basically his whole day to you, you two were finished with dinner. He quickly got started on work again and you quietly went to go wash the now dirty dishes. After a few minutes you went back up stares to Diluc with some grape juice and water.

“I brought you some grape juice, luc.” You say quietly as to not disturb his focus.

He looked up at you, “Thank you my love. Here, come sit on my lap.”

You were shocked that Diluc would be the one to offer you such a request but you would never in a million years deny this specific request. Sitting on his lap was like sleeping with a warm sun dried blanket. He smelled amazing and sitting on his lap elevated his smell ten times more than usual. Plus who doesn’t love sitting on their partners lap? Especially while they did work, being in your partners vicinity, having your partner want you in their vicinity while they’re doing something important such as work is such a nice feeling. And you took advantage of it one thousand percent.

You quickly took a seat on his lap and snuggled up close to him. He loved it when you did it, and you knew full well that he did. You had your way with Diluc, you were the only person who could ever have their way with Diluc and you didn’t mind what so ever. And since you could have your way with him, you decided to tease him a little. You started humping his thigh a little to see if he’d react in any way, you were full on expecting him to tell you to knock it off or to tell you to get off his lap and sit next to him. To your surprise, he did neither. He let you hump him more, you could tell he wanted to see how far you’d take it and honestly you didn’t know why but it excited you.

You continued to watch him work and hump his thigh, he started smirking a little before you started humping his thigh with more passion. It felt good, humping his thigh when you should’ve been quiet and let him concentrate. Seeing how far he’d let you go and seeing what he’d do after he’s had enough. It was all so exciting, it made you want to hump him more and more.

“What are you doing, hun? Do you think you’re gonna get away with this?” He said whispering in a calm voice. “Look at me.” He wasn’t asking or begging. He was demanding. You stopped humping his leg and proceeded to look back at him. “Good, now get up.” You were a bit confused but you did as he said. You got up off his lap and looked at him confused. He started taking your clothes off, all of it. He didn’t let you keep just your shirt on, he ripped every single piece of clothing on your body off.

“Sit, facing me.” He pulled you onto him, back onto his thigh. “Go ahead.” He said smirking, eagerly waiting for you to continue humping his thigh. He looked you up and down, to your eyes, your mouth, your nipples, down to where you were sitting on his lap. You were stunned, you didn’t know what to do, he never acted like this before and even though it was a pretty big turn on you had no clue how to proceed.

“I said, go ahead.” he said in a stern tone that made you want to jump. You started humping his thigh again but this time you felt embarrassed. He was staring at you, while you were trying to hump him like a dog in heat. It was humiliating yet also so thrilling. You loved how he looked at you with those lustful eyes but you hated how lustful you probably looked to him. You couldn’t help it though, you wanted him to watch you, you wanted him to touch you, be lustful for you. And he was, and he did. He started small, grabbing your waist and guiding you as you humped back and fourth. Then, he moved just one hand to your nipple. Squeezing just hard enough to make you flinch. And then he moved both hands to you nipples, now full on making you scream every time he pinched them. You started to cry from the pain and excitement. He moved his hands back to your waist and started kissing your neck going down to your nipples. He sucked your left nipple, hard. He swirled his tongue around your nipple making your head spin and started pinching the right nipple as he did. You were starting to lose your grip on his thighs, making it harder for you to continue humping him. He didn’t care, he just moved from one nipple to the other.

He finally stopped playing with your nipples and looked at you. “Can I leave marks on you? Visible marks?” His question stunned you, a mixture of pleasure and a mixture of joy. You couldn’t respond other than just a weakly nod. He chuckled seeing how weak you were from just humpimg him and having him play with your nipples. He went ahead and started leaving hickies all over your chest and neck, you were too weak to even realize how many he had left on you and at the same time you didn’t really care. Everyone in mondstadt knew you two were a couple and you didn’t care if people looked at you funny. You enjoyed when he left hickies on you, and he enjoyed giving you hickies.

“My love,” he said taking you out of your trance, “let’s go to the bed, shall we.” He said it as if it were a question but you knew he was going to take you even if you didn’t want to. And so he did, he lifted you up, leaving your clothes and his paper work messily on the desk and the floor. He carried you to your bedroom which thankfully was right next to his office. He gently placed you down on the bed as you started eagerly tearing his pants off. “Love, I can take my own clothes off.” He says but you didn’t care. Your mind was mush, filled with nothing but lustful thoughts and you were just ready to have him absolutely destroy every part of you.

He took his shirt off as you took his pants off and then you started kissing him, it was a long and deep kiss, lustful and vicious. He started touching you as you two kissed, rubbing his member against you, just as eager to devour you. You two panted as you pulled away from the kiss.

“Im putting it in.” He doesn’t ask or wait for a response. He knows what’s his and he takes it. He was stern and rough, he was damn near basically shoving it in but you liked it this way. You moaned loudly, not even caring if people could hear you two or not. He grunted with every thrust, your moans only making him thrust deeper and harder. He wanted you, he needed you.

Your moans filled and echoed throughout the room, his grunts only being loud enough to be heard by you. Only you could hear how passionate and how different these grunts were compared to the rest. Only you could truly hear and understand that this feeling, these lustful thoughts and needs were a new experience. And you loved being the only one who knew. You tightened around him each time he goes harder, he loved it. He loved feeling how tight you were and he loved hearing you moan in pleasure each time he forced his way through your tight walls.

“Baby ngh… you’re so tight..” All you could do was moan in response. You couldn’t make out any words, you couldn’t even make any noises besides moans. He had turned you into mush, he made you a sex toy for his personal use.

“You’re doing so good baby.. take it all just like that” he said pounding into you harder, making you tighter.

“You’re doing a wonderful job taking my dick hun. Is this what you wanted earlier? Did you want me to bend you over my desk and pound into you this roughly?” You could tell he was also struggling to speak, every sentence was getting harder and harder for him to speak fully.

“Doing such a good job baby.” He reached over to kiss you. “Doing a great job taking me in. Do you like it when I fuck you like this? Huh, baby?”

You couldn’t take it anymore, his teasing only turned you on more, making it almost impossible for you to not climax in that instant.

“I..ngh, I need to..ngh.. I need to cum..” You said practically whimpering to him.

“Go ahead baby. You can cum. Cum all over me baby, you can do it. Be a good little brat and cum for me.” he couldn’t stop panting, almost as if he was about to cum as well.

“I..” you said holding back tears. “I’m cumming” you say followed by a moan.

“Me too baby, I’m cumming too..” he said softly as he ran his hands down your body.

You were both panting. Him still being inside you, reached down and kissed you. It wasn’t a lustful kiss, it was passionate and overwhelming with genuine affection. “You did a good job baby. I’m sorry if I was too rough.” He says running his thumb along your lips. “You weren’t.” You reassured him, pulling him back in for another kiss.

“We should probably go take a shower now.” He says looking at you softly. You giggled at him, “We should, shouldn’t we?” Both of you now laughing softly. He plants a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll go get the water running.” He says before kissing you one last time and going to the bathroom. You lay there, ready to go to bed any second now.

Diluc gently wakes you before telling you the bath is ready. The two of you help each other sleepily wash of that night’s event. Diluc hands you your pair of pj’s before grabbing his own. You two quickly change and proceed to walk back over to your bed and sleepily getting under the blanket together. Diluc turns off his nightstand lamp, making the room go pitch black. He goes to cuddle you up close to him before kissing your forehead. “Goodnight my love, sweet dreams.” You hear as you drift off into sleep.