#but i can see other docs being like
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Exploration of how Doc Ock’s tentacles work! I really love the idea of him experiencing physical pain when they’re damaged—makes sense, what with him being able to control them remotely. Like they’ve got some kind of psychic link. So interesting and spooky!
#idk how he’d feel about me calling that link ‘psychic’ tbh#i don’t think this particular doc would care as long as it makes him more powerful#he was fully ready to accept that he was being haunted by the ghost of hammerhead a few years back anyway#but i can see other docs being like#‘bah! unscientific hogwash’#spider-man#doctor octopus#otto octavius#ppssm annual 1#spiderposting
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takes a bite out of them
#river dipping#ts4#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#echthroi#i'm ripping matthias's sim rn to make a quick little funny haha pose for a post so here i am while i wait...#these are the images i was using in the google docs for their questionnaires!! i figured i'd post them bc crabbey liked theo's#these aren't their latest versions tho so theo's eyes are the old ones and there are some small changes i made to matthias that're missing#but i think theo looks sooo gorgeous w/ the icarus bg and this cas lighting...#the luumia height slider doesn't work on mattodore for some reason (tho it used to?) so i haven't used height sliders in ages#but i downloaded a different one to mess w/ the other day which is why you can see matthias is taller here#still not accurate to their height difference bc i was just messing around but i'll fix it some other time#i rlly want to restart my casual oc gameplay bc they both look so different now compared to how they looked when i started it#dutchie has also changed a lot................... am i really gonna dump my months long save just bc of that? yeah probably jkngfknfn#ALSO... i have to update my game tonight bc lush made a sim for me but i FORGOR that i haven't updated since... hsy? so.#obviously i have to update now#which also means i will FINALLYYYYYYYY have infants.................................#when i tell you i will be making a baby just so i can put them in theo's hands i am being so serious#i will be in there like lightning#i need to see theo holding a baby so so sooo bad#it would cure every mental illness i have i think .
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Imagine your siblings child referring your F/O as their Uncle/Aunt because you two have been together so long !!
You've been together practically their whole lives, whether your F/O is good with/likes kids, they were always around when you babysat (Because you live together. Maybe they were helping you with your niece/nephew! Maybe they were just watching TV in the same room and got dinner ready so you could continue keeping an eye on the baby. Maybe they hid away in your shared bedroom the whole time but the child always knew they were there), they maybe even went to family gatherings with you!- they have just been a constant in your niece/nephews life. Just like you.
In this kids mind, you and your F/O are a package deal.
#i dunno why. but this is one of my favouriteee thoughts.#package deal! 📦 doesnt that sound good? XD#at hearing the kid refer to her as their aunt 👠👠👠cruella would roll her eyes. she doesnt like kids. this kid is not an acception#... but she does treat them slightly better then other people because she knows i would leave her ass if she was mean to my niece or newphew#she's the kind that spends most of the days i'm babysitting in her study#but throws expensive toys and treats the kids way when she's forced to see it XD#so she's the kids mean rich lesbian aunt.#🐊🐊🐊jim would be slightlyyy better with kkds then CRUELLA at least 😅#he may be that kinda 'dad' type to look at this kid getting spoiled with affection by HIS s/o like#'this means war'#after getting called uncle he looks to me like 'this isnt gonna make you want kkds is it?' '#'no'#'then i dont mind being uncle jim. lets annoy your aunt until she gets us mcdonalds'#🥼🥼🥼doc and 🚓🚓🚓sheriff and i are the kids wierd Triple Pack of adult family members XD#other kids on the playground say its wierd but its just notmal for them ^^#anyway- doc and sheriff are perfectly happy to be called uncles.#they would be the bestttt to babysit with!! <3<3#you can tell i wanna be an aunt XDDD#F/O Imagine#F/O x Reader#F/O Imagines#F/O's#F/O
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Since the ending of the season has been confirmed… and nobody new joined this season, it’s possible someone new is joining s10! So…
a serious alternative to the other poll. I think some of these have a pretty low chance of happening, but I chose options that are at least possible (i.e. the hermits know them). don’t take this too seriously, i’m just curious on what the fandom thinks is the most likely option
#how the hell do you guys write out scotts name. scott. smajor. scott major?#particularly looking at empires/traffic series people because they would know the hermits decently well#locus fandom time#hermitcraft#hermitblr#my personal thoughts on these: scott - didn’t even think of it before but it could happen. he knows the hermits well and is a builder#skizz - most likely option imo. collabs so often with hermits and is impulse’s best friend. only thing is that he isn’t a builder/redstoner#but i think being friends with the hermits is far more important in the application process than that#martyn - i would love if this happened but it never would because i don’t think hermitcraft is his playstyle at all#rip martyn/keralis and martyn/doc those duos would be so funny#joel - another really likely option. he is a builder and said he admires hc a lot. knows them well. i can see it#jimmy - i don’t think its his playstyle but it would be fun to see#lizzie - pretty talented builder. butttt i don’t think she’s going to join? it doesnt really seem like her thing#fWhip - can’t really see him joining either but it’d be cool#mythical sausage - he would be amazing on there but he’d chuck up the rating from general to 13 in no time#options I didn’t include: bigb (his main focus is like skibidi toilet videos not minecraft). oli (he produces 2 videos a year he isnt cut#out for the grind). pix (i think it would be awkward being a hc member and doing recap). katherine elizabeth (possibility but doesnt#interact with the hermits too much at crossover. others here know them way better)#there’s also the chance of someone who isn’t hc adjecent but knows them otherwise (like psmp or newlife whatnot) joining but it is less
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Prior to The Confrontation, it wasn’t uncommon for Kaeya to ask Diluc to read over things for him, to correct it or because he couldn’t get certain words. It started because Kaeya needed a little help with his lessons and reading, then continued when it was clear Kaeya still struggled with certain things, especially when it came to paperwork and letters written in fancier script when they joined the knights.
#hc; kaeya#//After Diluc left; Kaeya frequently found himself trying to ask Luc for help with his paperwork#//Each and every time; being met with silence heavily soured his mood; more than the struggle of reading and writing through it already did#//He hadn’t really tried asking anybody else for help; not wanting to seem ‘incompetent’ at first#//Esp with how frustrating he found it all. Then bc it’d gone on long enough; he felt it embarrassing to bring up#//Lisa knows somewhat#//He consulted her after seeing how well she worked with Razor; asking ‘for a friend’#//She saw through it IMMEDIATELY but humored him; so he wouldn’t feel so daunted and back off from the help he needed#//She’s helped him immensely; but he still struggles with things#//I like to think eventually; he comes to ask Noelle to do smth Luc used to; and look over his docs for errors#//That much he’ll allow. Prolly actually be honest w her why; since she’s so kind to him#//Feels weird relying on someone outside of Luc for smth like that—even Addie didn’t get called on as often#//If only ever when he was at the Winery with her; bc again; he wanted to seem capable and independent to her#//But it’s smth at least#//Even if Noelle being such a sunshine and so nice to help him out like that can be disconcerting at times#//But that’s a whole other can of worms#//That I think I mentioned in a prev hc; but eh#//Tldr; he is dyslexic. Luc helped then disappeared. Kae sad. Lisa helped lots. Noelle might help more in the future#//Prolly didn’t help that Teyvat’s common language wasn’t Kae’s first language either
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see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place
#what i need is smthn for my anxiety and PROBABLY the obviously worsening ocd#but anxiety meds and antidepressants dont mix well#just like adhd meds and anything else dont mix well#which is why i just have a redbull if i need to focus bx it works for a few hours and then i pass out#which isnt healthy but its better than going through the diagnosis process AGAIN bc they dont have my info anymore#its early sad times rn w brina who hasnt gotten an ounce of treatment at all hi#see the other thing is#if i talk about my mental health at all#people will either hate me for being annoying which is what my brain will pinpoint#or feel sorry for me which i also dont want#all i rly wanna do is vent but thats never really an option at all#like yes i know its not normal to want to have a breakdown and cry bc your fucking pillow isnt the correct fluff and wont dluff#i know its not normal to feel like you should die because something wasnt in fhe spot you put it in and was moved slightly#im aware. and the reality is nobody who can do anything about it cares#i have to get an authorization to see a therapist or get meds at all even tho the card claims i dont have to#and the doc tbey gave me wont give me one#they dont allow email so i cant leave a paper trail when bitching at them and my calls go ignored#im losing my mind steadily#and thats not even onto the physical problems#but also the sheer fucking audacity of the website being all ‘oh just go to ERs and UC snd we’ll cover it’ vs hospitals specifically saying#‘we will refuse you if you have Gov Ins unless you have the money to pay out of pocket#if youre on gov insurance you dont have fucking money thats the entire fucking point. you creedy fucknuts go shove tour nepotism in your#fucking eyes and die if anyone doesnt deserve to fuck its you fuckfaces#sometimes i just want to scream esp when this doesnt seem to be most other ppls issues#but then i talk to other women and it is#it just doesnt make sense and i hate it#but i never rly got help on private insurance either so#tbd#depression cw
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anyways. having fun with the album project thing I mentioned. Using the flat small brush from here for krita. One brush only, no undo button, all done on 1/54th of a 1.5k x 1k canvas. it's actually pretty therapeutic, I listen to the album I'm drawing while I draw it. This does mean that for AM I got to like. track 2 though and most of that was bc of formatting issues lol.
#vent in tags though bc i need. somewhere that isn't yet another 4:30 am vent google doc. too many of those and they're not helping#i don't want to talk but i don't want to be fully alone right now but i can't just spring this on someone in dms either so . tags it is#tw death. like really not a fun time over on torchickentacos dot tumblr dot com right now. genuine warning here#but i'm not doing well and i need this right now. anyways told my therapist i feel like i should be more okay right now than I am#and he was like. you. think you should be MORE okay after someone you knew died?#like. ah. hm. i see. now. how that might not be rational thinking.#i mean in my brain it was like. okay we're approaching day three and i haven't reached back out to my other irls#and i'm awake at 4 am#and i feel like need to pull it together because other people need me for stuff#and like. this happened before but harder. i should KNOW that there's no way to expedite this#because unfortunately I've been through this before!!! people make that choice to leave and it sucks and that's that!#like i KNOW how hard this is especially since it's a very personal topic.#but i'm still trying to rush myself here#it stresses me out to think that I'm not there enough for myself to be there for other people right now#sigh. i wonder how much of it's because i feel like i should have been there for those friends more even though it's irrational.#because that's genuinely not how it fucking works and I KNOW THAT PERSONALLY yet I still put that on myself.#people can have all the support they need and still choose to not take it. and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.#well. tomorrow i return to socializing and being a human person again#little bit at a time.
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THEYRE FINALLY GIVING ME REAL PAINKILLERS.... GOD BLESS
#doc says its almost definitely fibro which is such a . relief i guess.#i was KINDA hoping itd be autoimmune bc my other doc says i cant make a case for disability w fibro#rhuem doc tho said abt the same but also she said she would refer me to a social worker#just to see if theres Anything that can be done for me#that said if these meds genuinely clear my pain. it will open a lot of doors for me in the sense of work ^^#i was put on cymbalta before and it. Helped. but i was so dizzy literally all of the time#i was constantly falling over....#shes putting me on neurontin and buspar btw#i think those are what mom is on also#so like. genetically speaking theyre prob a good match for me#anyway im so glad to officially consider myself part of the fibro community ive suspected for a while#and ultimately i was still onviously chronically ill and disabled so i was already part of those communities#but it does feel good to be able to confidently say. yep im fibro gang#also doc was complaining abt lack of treatment options for pain esp nerve pain#and she also mentioned that theres a new treatment currently being studied that she thinks will be good#but hasnt had enough studies done for it to be a prescription yet.... 👀
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tmi probably
my lunatic ass after telling my therapist "i have a thousand voices in my head all the time, and they tell me all the possibilities, so i deserve to know the future and i actually see it most of the times!" when he replies "not really. none of us can see it, you are just hyperactive and manic."
#ignore ignore ignore ignore go away#doc started talking about inpatient wards and emergency rooms like?? no. i'm never telling you anything ever again. how dare you.#i know he cares about my mental health. but like. i don't know. i feel like i'm being gutted out like a fish#i might throw up#like how dare you tell me i'm manic?#like. i know. i know! i can see it. i can tell.#i just. how do i put it into words. i just need to do the stuff i do and i need the voices to keep going. they just have to be less loud.#also because not all of them are bad!! some just don't make fucking sense.#“you know there are things we can do together that can help if you would just trust me and yourself” impossible.#i don't trust anyone. i have like a thousand voices in my head. which one is me? are they all me? trust is- no. not doing that.#and like yes yes i have to trust others and deep down a voice wants me to since i asked for help but?#i am so confused.#“saying no is something that can be learnt” also impossible.#i want a hug.#and a beer.#and#idk#cuddle pile#that's still hug territory?#oh i miss my mom. she gives the best hugs.#i can't ask a friend to hug me can i?#no but it's not even the same. like a friend's hug isn't the same. just doens't hit the same.#but like. i'd take it.#and also i wouldn't ask my mom for a hug either. they just happen.#she hugs me a lot. and i do hug her back too. love it#but like. it's been 15 years since i last asked for a hug? more maybe?#i don't think i ever did. not like. not after i stopped going to my parents every night until age 9 because of nightmares#yes i used to go to my parents every night until i was old as hell. i know kids stop at 6. i stopped at 9.#and like yeah someone should have guessed something was wrong with my relationship with sleep but
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arasawa 'but are they You Know' can be so funny check this out. literally any scenario involving ichiban being nosy
#snap chats#in the funniest and most ironic way i can say it its like when someones kids really wants their parent to be happy for once#yk what i mean there's like two ways a kid meeting a stepparent can go Abject Horror and Joy#i dont have to say who the first one is. i will though masato wants to scream Why Is Everyone But Me Happy#no listen if you've been reading the essays being posted here the past week i don think ichiban hates jo#and on TOP of that i think ichi thinks jo would be happy if he and arakawa could have One Nice Night and ergo he wont be so MEAN#just no worrying about the clan ichi and everyone else has it covered you can totally rely on them <- no you cant#its like when your parents go on vacation and you comedically wreck the house by accident while theyre gone#but then you SOMEHOW get it all fixed up right before they get home. cat in the hat kind of bullshit#i just think they should have their brooklyn 99 moment. you know the one#'RESPECTFULLY captain you and the boss need alone time'#jo doesnt even get what hes trying to say until he looks at mitsu who looks about ready to jump out the window yk#like 'aniki PLEAAASE shut the fuck up you're gonna get us hit'#and its BECAUSE they arent together Like That that its especially like Put A Cork In It You're Insane#in the alternate timeline/scenario where jo Does like arakawa like that i think ichi should be annoying about it too#listen if arakawa is the only thing that prevents them from maiming each other then it'll be fine#ichiban please be the worst wingman imaginable while jo tells you to leave him alone#hes going to bottle his emotions and store it in his chest and it'll just sit and ferment there until he dies#like are we seeing the potential here. its awful i cant open any new canvases or word docs EW#maybe if i finished my fuckin SHIT..
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officially going to be taking a standup comedy class next semester!!! now my schedule is literally:
improv class
sociology class about queer history
standup class
buddy cole documentary which counts as a class despite only meeting with the professor when i want to and being a project i would work on even if i didn't get college credit
god i love majoring in comedy in college
#i realized my science credit was already taken care of by a dual enrollment class i did in high school so that gave me an opening#and i already have a plan to take care of all the other general education stuff later so i might as well load up on comedy courses#unfortunately due to some bullshit that's not as interesting as i think it is a lot of the comedy classes aren't running this fall#so the only one at my level with open seats is standup#and y'know typically i do NOT enjoy performing standup. i love watching standup very much but performing it's not for me#(plus ik my nemesis is in that class and she's also in my 2 other real classes so ugh i'm gonna be seeing a lot of her)#HOWEVER. i've already taken a course with this professor and he likes me#he's a kith fan so if i have to miss class or get an extension bc of work on the buddy cole doc he'll probably be super understanding#and!!! most importantly!!! he's really into character standup which not a lot of students choose to do#but for me. this gives me a perfect opportunity to actually work on some of my aubrey material as a ''standup character''#or at the very least shoehorn buddy cole into discussions lmao#also. my improv class is right before this one and improv is probably the type of comedy i'm most confident in#so maybe that will give me a nice push to get more confident in standup#and as for the ''constantly having to be around my nemesis'' thing. well i can hope that she manages to chill out by then#but even if she is insufferable. i can take solace in being the one with kith connections and paul will almost definitely let me rant to hi
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#making my two favorite ocs like oh i’m gonna give you both sooo many character flaws you’ll be helplessly drawn to each other bc of it#river dipping#theodore doe#echthroi#cw drugs mention#questionnaire lb#hello all........ i come bearing good news: theo's doc is already at 9.2k words <3#not so great news: i actually still have 29 questions left so.......... um. i'm still not done...#😂🔫💥#i'll definitely be making some cuts for length once i'm done answering all of the questions#like i simply can't have this go over 11k at any point... bc that would be....... just too much. like just way too much.#editing is gonna be rough when i get to it like i can just tell but whatever kill your darlings etc. etc.#also :) i've been so good at not opening tumblr or letting anything else distract me which is how theo's doc is already this long#in such a short amount of time like!!! i'm really proud of myself actually!!#i'm trying to finish it quickly bc i miss being on here but dfjkhh when i took that three hour break the other day to catch up i lost all#of my motivation to write and ended up stopping for the day bc i felt like everything i was writing was awful and ooc 😭#so i'm holding off....... i do see my activity feed and i'll get to it i promise i'm not ignoring anyone on purpose!!#or. well i guess i kind of am but jsdkchddkj i'm just trying to get this done first!!#honestly i'm moving pretty fast tho so i feel like i'll have this done soon :) theo favoritism etc. etc.#okay... i need to go now........ i've rambled here for much too long#just felt compelled to drop another little update since my blog is inactive otherwise#logging out...... wish me luck friends and lovers
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LOVED SAW X!!! gonna put in the tags my """review""" to not spoil anyone even though. we're a month late here in france. but just in case.
#i don't rlly have a rank system of my fav movies...but this one goes very high alongside THE FIRST ONE I THINK...#LOOOVE THE INTIMACY OF BEING DIRECTLY IN THE TRAP ALONGSIDE THEM#so happy to see billy even tho i think it's kind of silly. as. there's not point to have a tape and all when the ppl have already seen you#so it's not really as creepy as not doing wtf's going on who's doing this to you etc. but ig the. prosperity or dmth#*smth. stuff to leave behind so ppl can understand what happened or smth idkidkidkidk#FUCK TIMED TRAP 🖕🖕🖕#for matteo like. it is kinda frustrating that he did it and still he “lost” but that already happened to lots of other ppl in the franchise#BUT VALENTINA?????????? HELLO?!!!!#i think she was way too close to be free that it's actually super really unfair. not that all this is fair but. it's no better to me than#rigged traps. just as frustrating as adam's#i think#GABRIELLAAAAA....#wahhhwahhhh....... fucked up that we was treated as harsh as the others. i think. i mean it's fucked up for the ithers too but yeah.#mandy!!!!! almsot clapped and cheered seeing her#ppl going “who's that” on my left 🙄 THAT'S MANDY MY FAVOURITE FUCKED UP CREACHURE 🖕🖕🖕🖕#LOOOVE HER LIL JUMP I ALREADY SAW IN GIFS#these same kids kept going “who's [name of character CURRENTLY IN THE TRAP. NAMED SAID A BILLION TIMES AT THIS MOMENT KN TIME]#i get not remembering characters' names but this was. when there xas only TWO PPL LEFT.... THE DOC... SO LIKE... HELLO#who's that john they're talking abt again lol#wishing i haven't watched the trailer like every single time i watch trailers but it'snfine#anyway loved loved loved it :3 will rewatch it real soon in vo#i wish lawrence was here....#also the BTS photos of that adam look alike 🧍 i really thought we would get a dramatic shot and all AT LEAST#but seeing the bathroom made me actually cheer lol#ANYWAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW I THINK.#waiting for bf's train to arrive hehe yipeeee
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of course ppl have no obligation to care about characters they don't like... & fandom is about doing what you want and having fun... & it's inevitable for fanon to simplify the cast into little cardboard cutouts...
but i Do wish that ppl who pour a lot of love & effort into analyzing + developing the relationships of + having empathy for the circumstances of the main characters would extend more than a fraction of that to other characters. like my favorite girl kevin day 🐈⬛
#ok. i admit i might like side characters a bit too much. b/c i hate to see an interesting situation go to waste and i ♡ making things up#(<- guy who literally has a tetsuji & kayleigh section in their rambling thoughts doc)#but i do think it's a fair gripe to have abt characters w/ the plot relevancy of say. kevin 🐈⬛#this may turn into a kevin complaints tirade i'm afraid#we have all heard it before... but i think of it often...#like. I Get that 90% of the time he appears he's either 1. reeling from recent trauma 2. engrossed in special interest or 3. plot device#and of course it's hard to conceptualize him as having other desires based on canon b/c he literally isn't developed enough as a character#to be shown with them. And tkm cuts off right at a point where he'd be reeling from another major change (abuser being killed)#so the easy solution is to take what we see in canon (snapshot of him as he behaves in an extremely turbulent situation) (from neil's pov)#(with all of its biases & skewedness) and leave it at that + only write abt him in ways that don't make things difficult for main charas#+ further boil it down into spineless & anxious yet bitchy & ascetic exy alcoholic w/ no relationships.#hm. lemme say this. of course this isn't true everyone who hcs kevin as aroace#& it makes sense to relate to a character who isn't too focused on any relationships as someone who's acespec#so i don't dislike the hc at all. but at the same time i do think that sometimes ppl hc him as aroace for reasons#that aren't coming from the best/most genuine of places: one being that it's easy#ppl don't have to think of him having desires that aren't explored in the snapshot of canon we're given#or really write him in any complex relationships (even platonic ones). like he's out of sight & out of mind#he's not a threat to andreil as a couple/the ot3 tension from kevin being surgically cut from the romantic narrative#can also be dismissed as accidental (?)#lastly this is a reach sure but ppl do like assigning any character w/ vaguely neurodivergent traits as acespec#'how could they be in/even be interested in relationships if their social skills & interests & behaviors are like That' & etc.#i am not sure... sometimes the fanon just rubs me the wrong way... i am just talking to myself on my blog.#mimithoughts#kevin
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my manager has kids:(😕 but i have a new resident doctor crush soooo;)😳
#i knew i didn’t stand a chance !!!!!#also i saw my first pediatric cardiac arrest today#i was okay during the code i was glad i could be helpful i just gave out flushes lol#they didn’t make it but i had a feeling that was gonna be the outcome cuz they were already in rigor mortis when they got to us#the doctor leading the code was the one i’ve recently started talking to more n he’s like rlly friendly w everyone#i wish i knew the difference between someone being nice to me and flirting w me lol#anyways he did really good leading the code as well as the other doctors doing their best n everyone else#he wanted to hold a debriefing w everyone afterwards but i stayed back to clean up the room so when mom say her baby it#wouldn’t be as traumatizing w all the blood snd gastric contents soaked towels and garbage EVERYWHERE#i wish they’d stopped the code sooner the doctor leading the code was the first to point out the baby was in rigor right at the beginning#but obviously cuz it’s a peds case they wanna do everything they can and he literally did EVERYTHING all the code meds u could possibly orde#this stupid lady next to me who had no idea what she was talking abt was like ‘wait i think i see something on the monitor’ n im like bitch?#the baby was literally PEA they’re in fcking rigor mortis stop trying to prolong this horribly aggressive mess just let it end peacefully#baby was asystole throughout the entire code..they couldn’t even intubate him cuz his jaw was clenched so tight#anyways right after everyone agreed w the leading doctor to end it the doc like put both hands on the bed and kinda#bowed his head but i saw the pained look on his face i hope he didn’t blame himself i mean he knew from the start the baby was in rigor and#he asked everyone to give the baby a moment at the end of the code#that’s when they were all gonna go debrief but i stayed behind#anyways my supervisors were asking me if i was ok n i was like yeah bc the baby looked so much more at peace when we readied the room formom#then later the leading code doctor found me and asked if i was okay and i said was fine..i felt better knowing he was already gone before#he got to the hospital and was in literal rigor mortis with a rectal temp of 94 deg F#but i didn’t want to seem too heartless bc i could tell the code had upset him and he was talking in a more quietly#concercdndd voice like he’s usually always loud and joking around like me so :( and the fact that he stopped to talk w me privately n was#genuinely wanting to know if i was okay made me ;-; cuz im not used to being comforted?? or having my emotions validated#i was like ‘yeah im fine now haha it might all hit me later when im driving home alone at the end of the shift lol’#n he gave me a pat on the shoulder n said i did a good job ;—;#ngl i always thought he was kinda cute but i only just started talking n working w him on pts tuesday n i think he likes me????#idk bc he’s friendly n easy to get along w everyone AS AM I but idk we talked 1-1 before n i got a Vibe 😳 from him#but anyways then i got home n had pasta n talked to my fam abt my day and told them i had my first peds cardiac arrest#then all of a sudden something in me switch??i felt myself stiffen n my eyes started watering so i went to my room n ended up crying 4 20min
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at this point im convinced that this reoccuring cycle of me getting nigh-unbareable muscle/back pain -> booking a doctor -> immediately having the pain almost entirely evaporate overnight is like. idk its not a coincidence at this point its straight up a phenomena and im SICK of it
#i mean im mostly incredibly relieved obviously#im still sore and having trouble sleeping but this is the first time.all week ive felt human again lol#its just irritating bc i hate seeing docs and always feel like im wasting my time like#i'll still go but other than pain meds its not like i can afford any treatment lmao#whatever im going to start exploiting this obvious glitch in the simulation#next time i get a flair up its straight the the doc!!!#not bc im prioritizing my health lol but bc my muscles are obviously being scared into submission <3
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