#i mean im mostly incredibly relieved obviously

[rosykims]

at this point im convinced that this reoccuring cycle of me getting nigh-unbareable muscle/back pain -> booking a doctor -> immediately having the pain almost entirely evaporate overnight is like. idk its not a coincidence at this point its straight up a phenomena and im SICK of it

[keilemlucent]

steaming

(r18+)

pro hero! todoroki shouto / reader

ao3

word count: ~3.8k

You and Shouto have been busy as hell and haven't seen each other much, but a 'relaxing' (read: horny) trip to an onsen is sure to remedy any and all lost time

warnings: pro hero shouto, onsen sex (please do not fuck in onsens im begging u please learn etiquette for onsens too), temperature play, a little bit of insecure reader well

this is a piece for the fanfic event yagami yato server i’m apart of! the theme for this month was an onsen getaway so here u go! hope y’all enjoy ;^)

The onsen trip was one that Shouto had been particularly excited about. It was a small place in Akita, far away from the drone of the city that the two of you were both accustomed to. 

Both you and Shouto had been working ridiculously hard the past several months, stretching to your physical and mental limits. It had taken a toll in many areas of your shared lives, but a lot of it was on that quality time the two of you were able to spend together. 

Shouto wasn’t particularly clingy, but he was definitely starting ache for you. It had been far too long since you’d been able to relax as a couple. A weekend onsen getaway seemed like the perfect opportunity for both of you to unwind and spend some quality time together. 

Shouto tended to go... overboard. Mostly due to the fact that though he was perceptive, he was also somewhat dense. You’d gotten fairly flustered when Shouto dropped that he reserved the entire resort for the two of you. It was small and family-run to begin with, but still. It felt a little excessive, but part of you was relieved that no public, prying eyes would disturb the two of you.

When the two of you arrived, the resort was surrounded by pretty autumn leaves, all orange and yellow hues that stretched through the rolling hills. 

It was overly relaxing, almost. 

By the time the two of you were able to check-in and settle down, the sun had already begun to set low in the sky. 

You dropped down on the futon in your somewhat small room. The day of traveling had worn you down, leaving a bit of sleepy haze clouding your mind.

“Baby?” Shouto flopped down beside you, pulling you close and burying his nose in your hair. “Are you feeling alright?”

You hummed, nodding, “Yeah, just a bit tired. Do you want to try out the hot springs tonight or wait until tomorrow and get some rest now?”

Based on the way Shouto let out a rolling, deep chuckle, getting ‘rest’ was unlikely, “Let’s try them tonight, hm? Get some of that stress out of your shoulders.”

As if to emphasize the point, Shouto’s lithe hands went to rub at the stiff muscles. You could only press into his touch, practically purring.

One of the cheekier parts of this trip was that the onsen Shouto specifically rented allowed didn’t have any separation of sex. It was more than acceptable for you and Shouto to share the same pool at the same time. Most of the other exceptions that you and Shouto were sure to need had been... ‘ prepaid for’ (read: Shouto bribed the very nice owners who were sure to be kept up long into the night for several days in a row).

Shouto and you did have to separate for the different lockers room to rinse, but that was hardly an issue. If anything, it was incredibly therapeutic to have a few minutes to yourself before the so-called ‘main event’ of the (long) evening.

Shouto had been remarkably busy with hero work. Being one of the top heroes in Japan had been taking a deep toll on him, even if he was amazing at hiding it. You had been busy as well, far busier than usual. Part of you, a larger part than you wanted to admit, was terrified that you and Shouto’s relationship would fall apart due to sheer lack of contact.

The fact that Shouto had somehow arranged an entire vacation behind your back mostly smoothed that fear over, but one still wondered and worried.

As you rinsed yourself down in the locker room spray, scrubbing your body of any bit of scum and dirt that you could. Perhaps you were taking too long— perhaps it was purposeful.

Because you and Shouto had not done anything sexual in what was, in your book, a considerable length of time. 

It wasn’t intentional, the two of you had clarified before leaving, but it still was the cause of a somewhat unbridled wave of anxiety that you couldn’t escape. 

Old insecurities gnawed at you, fear, its swirling relative. 

This was all magnified by the fact that you’d be very naked with your very attractive partner for the first time in a while.

You gulped, shutting off the spigot and toweling off somewhat. With unsteady legs and a half-covered body, you made your way out to the onsen itself.

As you pulled open the door to the outdoor area, you felt the bite of the wind chill the water droplets still clinging to you.

The unpleasant feeling was washed away rather quickly as you took in the scenery. The area was rocky and mossy, leading to a smaller hot spring, bubbling away with steam rising lazily from its depths. Trees ringed the onsen’s outcrop, obscuring any potential wandering glances. It was all lit by soft, warm, modern-looking stringed-bulbs, wound high above.

The best part, of course, was Shouto looking very smitten with you, as he was already submerged.

“I was wondering where you were,” He laughed so easily, beckoning you by tapping the water. 

You could only muster up a half-assed smile, “Would you believe me if I told you I got cold feet?”

You didn’t see his expression as you turned around to walk into the hot spring, incredibly quickly, after removing your towel. 

(If you had been looking, you would’ve seen Shouto’s eyes widen with your words, water losing steam as his ice side fired subconsciously.)

  Admittedly, the water did feel amazing against your skin. The heat of it curled around your body, seeping in your wound up muscles. You audibly moaned as you fell next to Shouto in the water, leaning your head on his shoulder. His arm wrapped around your waist, squeezing under the rolling water. 

A moment of calmness passed, the sounds of flora and fauna echoing off the natural stones and tall trees. 

“What do you mean by cold feet?” Shouto asked, eyes flickering down to meet your own. “

“Nothing bad, dear. It’s just...” Your voice trailed off with the anxiety in your chest spinning. You buried your nose in the muscle of his shoulder, a bit embarrassed. “It’s just been a minute, you know?”

Shouto raised an eyebrow, turning to move directly regard you, “I’m not sure I do.”

“Uh,” You stumbled, giving him a wobbly smile. “It’s just been a minute since we’ve, you know—”

“Had sex?” Shouto finished your sentence with his own teasing smile. 

Your face erupted in red, very obviously not from the hot water you both were submerged in. 

You physically lowered in the water, up to your shoulders, “Yes, had sex, Shouto.”

“Why would that make you anxious?” Shouto asked, mirroring your motion, not to give you guff, but rather comfort. 

“You know—” You paused before answering, eyes watching the light churn of the water as opposed to the Shouto’s incredibly focused gaze, “Just like, dumb insecurity stuff. You don’t need to worry about it, I’m just happy to be here with you.”

That made Shouto frown, rough hands grabbing your hips under the water, “I’m glad you’re here with, very glad, but I’d like to help if I can.”

You bit your lip, focusing on the way Shouto’s thumbs pressed and rubbed idle circles on the meat of your hips, “It’s just been a while, and I get scared that you... you know, will feel differently about me than before. In a bad way.”

Shouto was silent, unspeaking, and thumbs stilled on your skin. You knew him well enough to understand that he wasn’t upset, but rather in thought.

Suddenly, you were being dragged through the water onto Shouto’s lap. You yelped, grabbing his shoulders for stability as you ass settled on his strong thighs. With this arrangement, it was difficult to turn away from him as you had been. It was made even more difficult when Shouto gently grabbed your jaw, holding your face level with his own.

You gulped.

“Though I understand your anxiety,” His free hand massaged the bulk of your thigh. “I can thoroughly tell you its unfounded.”

The next moment, his lips pressed into yours. They were petal-soft, but there was force behind it as he moved against you. You couldn’t moaning against his mouth, hands falling against his chest as you moved ever closer.

Shouto seemed to have similar needs in terms of proximity, hand going to palm you ass beneath the water and pull you nearly chest to chest with him.

You broke away with a sharp breath, wetting your lip. Your eyes darted up to meet Shouto’s own, all blown wide in adoration and lust. He chuckled at you sheepishness, pressing kiss after kiss to your face. He dropped them onto the sweat-slicked skin of your cheeks, nose, chin, forehead, and eventually trailed them to your jaw and neck.

“(Y/N), you’ve given me quite the job to do,” Shouto murmured against the soft skin under your ear. 

You sucked in a harsh breath, nails digging into his shoulders, “Yeah? And what job is that?”

He hummed, suddenly licking a quick strip from your throat to the shell of your ear, leaving you with a sharp bite as he whispered, “I guess I just have to show you how I feel about you, with our time apart.”

The hand that had been cupping your ass moving slowly towards your sex, teasingly. Your hips shifted and the prospect, your need already dialed up with lost time. 

“I do feel differently about you, but it’s only positive, I promise,” Shouto assured you, going back to kissing your neck, going to bite and suck at your collar bones. “I just want you more than before.”

It had been so long since he’d been able to mark you up in the way both of you so enjoyed. One of your hands twisted in his two-toned tresses, crying out as he left a particularly dark mark.

“I missed you so much,” Shouto kissed the words into you, using both hands to half-lift and half-force you higher above the water, still straddling him but lifted up on your knees. Your chest was out of the water, nipples hardening in the autumns chill.

“S-Shouto!” You bit out as he palmed at one of your breasts. “Someone could see us!”

All he did was raise a sly eyebrow at you, blowing frosty breath onto one of your nipples, hardening it, and the droplets of water that clung to your chest. You hissed but quickly were soothed as it melted with the steam of the water below, leaving a tingly numbness dabbled across your chest.

You shuddered as Shouto took in his discovery. 

Temperature play was one of your mutual old favorites.

“I’m not too worried about that,” Shouto peppered your chest with kisses as he spoke, leaving a few dark marks on your breasts. They were sure to ache later, and the thought made you wet.

(Could you be wet? You were underwater—)

Any controversial thoughts you had were quickly seized as Shouto’s hand began to massage the inside of your thigh. You keened in the back of your throat, shuddering as his hand was so fucking cold, despite being surrounded by steaming water.

“Do you like it when I touch you like this, baby?” Shouto kissed the words into your chest. He hummed with what could only be satisfied as you trembled in his lap, nodding. 

“I do,” You sank lower in the water, recovering your chest in the process. It was an easy sacrifice as you could now, far easier, reach between your two bodies and gently grab Shouto’s cock. You rubbed your thumb of its head, loving the way Shouto’s stunning eyes closed in what was near rapture. 

You grinned to yourself, giving your own smattering of kisses to Shouto. Lovebites trailed down his neck, sparing not one of his more sensitive spots. Shaking exhaled breaths and soft grunts fell from his lips so beautifully as his hands trailed up and down your back, fisting in your hair when you found a particularly tender spot.

All the while, you pumped his cock at a somewhat tortuous pace. If he was going to get make you twitch for him every few seconds with his frigid hand, you were only going to give him a bit of satisfaction.

Though, that plan quickly went down the drain when his hand drifted closer to your sex, teasing at the apex of your thighs.

You fizzled out a whine, pressing your slick forehead to Shouto’s, watching the way his eyes opened, dilated pupils regarding you in the same way a man starved would.

“Some options,” Shouto breathed again your lips, dulling the numbing use of his quirk, much to your chagrin. “I can fuck your pretty cunt in this hot spring, or I could fuck you over the side, or I could lay you out on that moss—”

You cut him off with a kiss, loving the small noise that came when his words stuck in his mouth. You drew away with the sweetest smile on your face, “Can I ride you like this?”

Shouto’s matched your grin with his own, kissing the side of your mouth sweetly, “Of course. Once I feel you’re properly prepared. It’s been acknowledged that it has been a while, and I’d hate to hurt you at all.”

“Well, at least on night one,” You smirked, reminding him that you still had several more days to go at one and other. 

Shouto rolled his eyes, all affection, before rolling his thumb over your swollen clit. You gasped out a clipped breath as he repeated the motion. You couldn’t help the way your hips rolled in his hands and the way your own tangled in his hair.

The lapse in your sex life truly hadn’t taken away Shouto’s ability to read your physicality. He knew just the right rhythm and speed to take things, having long since committed every inch of your body to his memory.

Like any length of time apart from intimacy would take that away from him. He coveted his knowledge of your body like a god cherishes its domain. 

Truly, he worshiped you in all aways and it was a crime that it had been so long that he had been able to show in. 

Shouto sank two elegant, long fingers into you, a pretty cry falling from lips. You pressed yourself into his neck, already starting to move your hips against his fingers.

“Eager, are we, baby?” Shouto teased, cursing as your hand was once again around his cock, giving it a rough pump or two.

You snickered against his neck between moans, dropping a few kisses on his pulse point, “Like you aren’t.”

His fingers curled just right, alternating between rubbing against the spongy spot in your cunt and stretching his fingers to ease you to open for him. 

You were all lovely, breathy moans for him, idly stroking his cock and dabbling him with slick kisses. You couldn’t do much else, truthfully. The feeling of Shouto’s fingers buried in your heat while being surrounded by heat was something heaven-sent, you were sure of it. It felt especially true as Shouto’s thumb moved back to circle your clit while his other fingers kept at work.

You could feel a rising heat in your gut and all you wanted was more of it. 

But not yet.

“S-Shouto, wait,” You cupped his face, eyes pleading. “I want to come with you, while you’re fucking me, please.”

Oh, what an easy request to oblige. 

Ravenously, he kissed, drinking you down like you were divine ambrosia. All you could do was fall against him, writhing as he gripped his cock on the surface, lining himself up.

Your nails bit into his shoulder as you bore down on the head of his cock, a little whimper sounding from the back of your throat.

It had been awhile. 

Shouto quickly hushed you, thumb going back to your clit as you sank down. 

“Fuck, you’re tight,” Shouto breathed, resting his head against your shoulder as he bottomed out.

You could only imagine how it felt for him, cock filling you up so well. For you, it felt like your brain was short-circuiting, the way his cock pressing up against your insides was turning you to mush. It had been far too long for both you, your breath matching in the way it shook.

“Fuck,” You managed to curse, readjusting your knees for more leverage. You truly did want to ride Shouto’s cock with every inch of your life, but based on the bruising grip he had on your hips, he wouldn’t stand for you doing much of the work. 

Slowly, you slide up Shouto’s cock, relishing the way how his normally controlled speech devolved into strings of muttered curses. The hand on his ice side kept firing cold on your hip, the odd but pleasant sensation making it all the more difficult to keep your thighs from trembling.

You nearly pulled off him, watching the way Shouto wetted his lips with blown pupils and half-lidded eyes. 

You let the tension of your legs go, slamming back down on his cock. Shouto cried out, hands tensing on your hips and you harshly bottomed out. 

You raised yourself up again, repeating the motion as sounds left your lips, unrestrained. A smug smirk came to your face as you watched Shouto’s blushing face come undone so beautifully.

You sank down on his cock a few more times, grinding whenever he was fully sheathed inside you. The way how his cock head bruised your cervix with each thrust made your insides feel gooey and warm. 

Shouto’s self-control was unmatched, fucking or otherwise. But, you could feel his hands start to twitch around your hips. 

“Baby?” He gritted out as you slide down on his cock once more. 

Your thighs shook from exertion as you wiped your damp hair from your face, “Yes, dear?”

“May I please fuck you proper? As much as I love watching you fuck yourself on my cock, I’m getting a bit—” He ground up into your cunt, angling his hips just right to hit your g-spot. “Impatient.”

You cried out, letting your forehead fall against him, still holding onto a bit of yourself, “So polite, Shouto.”

He thrust up into you again, drawing another sharp moan from you as your thighs shook around his own, “That’s not an answer, baby.”

“Please,” Your words came out half-broken as Shouto damn near smashed his lips into yours.

Without missing a moment, Shouto’s hands fire both heat and nearly unbearable cold. You jolt, hardly able to move due to the nature and strength of the grip he has on your hips. He fucks up into your cunt, adjusting your hips perfectly to smash in your most sensitive parts with familiar accuracy.

Your cunt clenched down around him, the heat of Shouto’s body combined with the hot spring making your head spin. All you could do was press yourself into Shouto’s neck, muffling your sounds and sucking at his salt-slick skin.

“I missed this,” Shouto groaned, bringing your hips down to grind deep on his cock. You pressed your face into his neck, not used to Shouto speaking so much during sex. “I missed your pussy so much, baby. Can you tell?”

When you didn’t immediately respond, mind approaching a fucked out stupor, Shouto took it out himself to pull out, rapidly repositioning the two of you.

You yelped as Shouto put you on your knees where he had just been sitting in the onsen, guiding your arms to rest out of the pool against the rocks and moss. He pressed down on the small of your back, forcing you into a deep arch. Shouto stood behind you, mostly out of the water, panting. 

He pushed into a moment later, hissing the new tightness of your cunt, somehow managing to speak, “Can you tell?”

“Yes!”  You sobbed out, voice shattering as Shouto slammed into you. 

Shouto (somewhat gently) tangled a hand in your hair, the other stabilizing your hips before fucking you with what could only be called reckless fucking abandon. If your sex hadn’t been submerged, the lewd, wet noises would’ve surely echoed over the nearby trees and rocks. 

Not that was really on your mind, nothing really could be except for the overwhelming sensation of Shouto fucking you with every he had.

Your arms scrapped against the rocks below you, but you could hardly care or notice. Your back ached as it was forced into its arch, Shouto slamming you even  better the deeper you curved it. 

your mind truly turned to mush as Shouto leaned over your form, his chest to your back, reaching a hand around to roll over your clit as he continued to pound into you.

“You’re going to come with me, right, baby?” Shouto gritted out, just next to your ear. You nodded with everything you had, pleasure and sensation making your toes numb. 

Shouto’s thrusts became more frantic, panting and grunts joining your whimpers and soft cries. Your entire body felt so fucking hot. Mixing that with your arousal was making your vision black-ringed. 

“I-I’m close, please," You begged Shouto, surrendering to your senses as you laid your head on your arms. “Please!”

“Since you asked so nicely—” You could hear the smirk in Shouto’s voice as he bit at your ear, stroking harder at your clit, and somehow fucking you deeper.

You damn near screamed as you came, vision leaving you as you finally were given release.

Shouto gave his own cry as he fucked you through his own orgasm, filling you with stringy cum with each thrust. 

Shouto panted as he slowed, staying inside you as he pressed a few gentle kisses to your shoulders.

“Baby? You alright?” Shouto asked way too sweetly for the how filthily he had been plowing into you moments before.

“Very alright, just like...” You nodded, body shaking and sweating, turning to face him.

You had to stop speaking, seeing the way Shouto was just beaming at you, two-toned eyes shining in the low light. He noticed, stifling a pure laugh, “Like?”

“I’m mush right now. Mush for you in general,” You gave your own laugh, cutting yourself off with a gasp as Shouto pulled out, leaving you feeling incredibly empty. You almost whined.

Shouto carefully guided you from the hot spring, mindful of the various aches and abrasions. As you exited, you wrapped yourself in your discarded towel, giggling to yourself.

“Something funny?” Shouto asked, raising an eyebrow as he similarly covered up. 

“Nah, not really,” You pulled him with an arm around his neck, planting a wet kiss on his hot, flushed face, just under his scar. “Just thinking about how I have all weekend to show you how much I’ve missed you.”

Shouto just chuckled, wrapping his arms around your waist and smiling, “I can’t wait to find out.” 

[kinkymagnus]

Henlo!! I love your blog so much 😍 it gives me life and makes me happy when I have a bad day. I was wondering if you had any headcanons about Malec’s first time or something where Magnus is a nervous wreck cause he has to tell Alec that he’s trans? Thank you and sorry for the bother 😭♥️

y’all it is a CRIME how long this has been in my inbox, im really sorry and ur not bothering me at ALL i just love this ask and wanted to do it JUSTICE 👏

also im!!! so flattered!!! aaaaaAAAA im glad my blog can cheer u up :) 

okokok so trans magnus + malec’s first time + magnus being nervous about coming out lghkjgfh

ok i have no fucking idea why but i’m making this twi malec. i’m just. in the mood for twi malec i guess. fuck it amiright

magnus is just. he has a lot of secrets. there’s a reason he hasn’t gotten close to anyone in a long time, there’s a reason he only talks to two or three people who actually know him, there’s a reason he hasn’t been how he used to be--out and about, flashy and showing off and wearing armor made of glittering beauty and colorful silks and bold makeup, instead of comfortable cardigans and twitching hands and quiet. 

speaking of which: def headcanon twi magnus wasn’t always the way he is in that episode. he was a lot like canon magnus once upon a time, charismatic (well, he’s still charismatic, but like, in that bold flashy way, you know?) and open (closed off, but with the illusion of having all his cards on the table) and bold

anyway. there’s a reason. lots of reasons. mostly all the secrets he hides.

the fact that he has magic, that he’s immortal, a dusty relic of a time long gone, of an age past, clinging on past his due date. he feels like he doesn’t belong in the modern world, like he should have died with the shadow world, like he should have been sealed out with all the other demons.

the fact that he is a prince king of hell, son and slayer of the greater demon asmodeous himself. even tho he’s sealed it all away, he has a huge amount of power, both from just. originally being the son of such a powerful demon, a fallen angel, and also from managing to kill one.

i don’t think it fits with canon twi lore but i don’t care, i’m saying twi magnus was involved in the sealing of the realm, and he managed to kill asmodeous and basically absorb his power, so a) he actually did this huge incredible feat that changed the whole world, whether on purpose or not i’m not sure yet (it has something to do with asmodeous, but i’m not seeing the whole picture yet) and b) he’s actually. more powerful than canon magnus. it’s partially why he sealed away his magic for so long, he was afraid of what that power could do. 

honestly i dont have this super well thought out but i like the potential

but anyway! barely related to this! let’s get back on topic!

and. the fact that he’s trans. a decidedly more mundane secret, but still one he keeps close to his chest. he’s lived through a lot of eras with bad very transphobic times? like he’s lived through places/times with very accepting atmopshere, but he’s also lived in like, victorian england, you know? and canon magnus had a chance to be more out of his shell and open in the modern world but this magnus has completely closed himself off. he mostly talks to people other than his close friends to give them a tarot reading. he’s not like, totally cut off, i can’t imagine him like. not helping people. you know. idek. but the point is he’s more isolated. canon magnus was closed off in a lot of ways, but still surrounded by people. he had a job to do, people to protect, and parties to attend. not to mention going to pandemonium and stuff. twi magnus isn’t really doing that. man i really went on a tangent here but the point is i feel like that would contribute to how he feels about being trans. feeling isolated, having less friends to be open with and to help him you know? in my experience it’s a lot harder to feel like. valid? without that sense of community. even with a few close friends, it’s hard. if you’re “passing”, which magnus is, it feels like a secret. 

the point is! i am getting so off track! magnus has got layers and layers and layers protecting him, both literal and metaphorical (he doesn’t wear the more flashy and revealing clothing canon magnus occasionally favors, preferring thick and comfortable sweaters and cardigans and stuff like that. bonus headcanon: whatever happened that ended in asmodeous dead and the walls of the world sealed, it left magnus with more scars. not to mention top surgery scars he may have, or even just hiding a binder, or using thick layers to disguise small tiddies since binders are great but you can’t bind all the time or every day for centuries and still be like, healthy. anYWAY) 

and when he starts dating alec despite that little cautious voice in his head insisting he needs to not get attached, alec begins to just. effortlessly peel those layers away

he’s so blunt and honest, unlike people who have lied to and manipulated magnus in the past (CAMILLE, anyone? i feel like she’d still be a thing in the twiverse. also asmodeous, albeit in a different way) and he’s gentle and loud and bold and he’s funny and sweet and he just. fucking cares about magnus.

when he finds about magnus’s magic he’s like “oh my god that’s so cool” he just fucking accepts him so easily!!! 

and even when magnus ends up tearfully confessing he may or may not be a literal king of hell (or, one of the hell dimensions) alec’s like “damn, i’m dating royalty?” and maybe makes a joke about not everyone getting to make a king scream with pleasure and magnus is just so relieved???

but that’s later

anyway

they haven’t had sex yet and magnus is just like. he feels like inevitably this relationship is gonna fall apart. he has too many secrets, too many hidden parts of himself that if he ever shed light on, alec wouldn’t see him the same way

and as much as he wants alec to fuck him, as much as he wants to be in bed with alec and cuddle with him and have sex with him and show him everything, he feels like he can’t, it would be the beginning of the end

he keeps pulling back just as alec begins to initiate, and alec never pushes but wonders if he’s doing something wrong, or if maybe magnus is asexual, or just doesn’t want to have sex for other reasons, and eventually he broaches the topic with magnus and magnus is so surprised alec noticed something is wrong (he expected alec might confront him over not “putting out” but alec doesn’t seem to care about the sex--he makes sure to emphasize while he is attracted to magnus and would lvoe to have sex with him if that’s what magnus wants, it’s by no means a requirement--but more about. magnus. and communicating with him.) that he just blurts out i’m trans. 

and alec kinda blinks at him. his beautiful, wonderful, nervous and scared boyfriend. and he ends up blurting out oh thank god. because he would be more than okay with magnus not wanting to have sex--he’s super gorgeous and absolutely smoking hot, but alec doesn’t ever like, want to have sex with him unless magnus wants to. obviously. but he was honestly worried it wasn’t magnus but him, that he’d done something wrong or wasn’t attractive or something, and honestly worrying about something being wrong with him was not a feeling he was used to. then he realizes how bad that just sounded, and he’s like, aaaaaaaAAAA WAIT and ends up panickedly rambling like i mean sorry i just was kind of worried i was doing something wrong but like, i love you so much and you being trans changes nothing about that, and if you never want to have sex that’s totally okay and i love you, but if you’re worried about me still being attracted to you that’s not a problem, but-- and magnus is like y-you’re not?? but you’re gay! and i’m-- and you know that feeling of like. internalized [insert form of bigotry towards yourself, in this case transphobia]. where you think something bad about yourself. and if you think about it you’re like “no that’s transphobic i would never think that about anyone else” and your brain is just like “yeah it’s true about you tho” that’s this. magnus is like. i’m not a real man, how could you be attracted to me? and alec (not to be all Cis Savior, but look, magnus deserves a loving supportive boyfriend who comforts him and shit, okay! i am PROJECTING) is like yeah i’m gay and you’re a gorgeous, beautiful, stunning man? 

and they end up talking it out and get it sorted that yes, magnus does want to have sex, but it would be okay if one of them didn’t want to, magnus being trans does not make alec unattracted to him, it’s okay, they’re okay, because malec are Kings of Communication,

ANYWAY

ACTUAL FIRST TIME

probably not the same day, that day they cuddle and talk 

but like later

>:)

alec is just so gentle and reverent y’all. like. them big hands on magnus’s body, all warm and gentle and magnus is like oh fuck this is nice

they do have to kind of communicate boundaries--alec’s asks if there’s anywhere magnus doesn’t want to be touched because dysphoria (or any other reason) and vice versa, magnus trying to be like “you know if you only want to fuck my ass or have me wear a strap-on or anything like that it’s fine, i understand you’re not necessarily attracted to those parts of me” and alec’s like “we’ve established that you would enjoy me eating you out and i WANT TO EAT YOU OUT” 

their first time probably is pretty simple, “vanilla”, idk why but im thinking they just exchange oral sex tbh like magnus blows him and then alec eats him out 

also magnus cums pretty fast bc he hasn’t been touched like this in a long time and he’s very embarrassed about it but alec is like “damn that’s hot can i try to make you cum a few more times” 

ok but imagine their first time it’s just alec holding him down and eating him out until he sobs and squirts? yes

anyway tho they have like, lots of “other” first times too like. first time alec fucks his pussy. first time alec fucks his ass. etc. 

first time alec slides that Thick Dick balls deep into magnus’s cunt he’s for sure immediately on the edge of orgasming he’s so full and it feels so good--

and alec’s like holy SHIT bc he’s warm and wet and tight and he clenches every time alec praises him or dirty talks him and it feels amazing

first time alec fucks his ass is also very fun for both of them ;) 

it’s just a good time all around folks communication and magnus getting pounded the way he deserves :’) 

not to mention when they first start getting into kinks 

alec, carefully broaching the topic of bondage: how would you feel... about handcuffs?

magnus, barely looking up: mm, padded or not? and what kind of padding? the normal kind hurt my wrists after too long and not really in a nice way, so i like padded. furry can get a little itchy sometimes but they look real nice. also, are we talking above my head to the bedpost, and if so, am i on my stomach or back? because stomach is a little uncomfortable. or like, behind my back? especially bent over, mm. good view for you ;) 

then he like looks up and realized he’s said all of this very casually and alec’s looking at him with 1. shock and 2. lust 

like. “i wasn’t expecting this, but i really should have, and now i want to bend you over and tie you up and fuck you hard” 

and he blushes just a lil bit like o shit i just said all that and alec’s like “padded it is. behind your back or above your head... hm... both have potential, but maybe the latter? i love you on your back under me, i can see so much of your beautiful body and all of your gorgeous face :)” 

and like TOYS 

aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA ANYWAY

[johnnq]

want

laying lazily on the couch in your living room, you tapped away at your phone screen as you barely registered the movie in the background that you had put on, let alone the small and desperate attempts your boyfriend, mark made to get your undivided attention.

he'd been doing it all day - trying to get your attention. it started off small, poking you, kissing you in every place possible on your face, making noise in the other room to distract you; but ended in going as far as deliberately burning himself while he made lunch for you both so you'd come out from the realms of your phone and to his aid. he wanted you to pay attention to him and you knew it.

mark was the clingy type. a boyfriend who required constant small little validations, mostly involving loving acts such as forehead kisses, cheek kisses, holding hands and generally having you let him know you were important to him. but one thing he wasn't, was desperate.

until today, when for some reason he had decided that he would do everything in his power to get the attention he craved no matter what he had to do in order to get it, and that he would incessantly push the notion until you caved. so far though, you'd been cuddled under the blanket you took from your shared bedroom, and had stayed there for half the day even after mark made you eggs as a half-assed offering he hoped would butter you up a little. unfortunately, it hadn't.

"b-baby, do you want to have sex today?" he asked innocently after handing it to you.

"not today mark, im too tired." you mumbled in response to him, too interested in your phone and the tv rather than him.

once he left to go and run a couple errands you couldn't quite believe just how much it was bothering him.

you didn't definitely know why today you had a particular spike of amusement seeing him get so frustrated over you blatantly ignoring all his efforts, but you figured it probably had something to do with the fact that since the early morning when he dragged his feet to the living room after waking up unbearably needy, he'd had a painfully persistent hard-on that seemed to only worsen whenever he was around you.

he was shy so he rarely said anything, and lucky for him you'd usually be the first to initiate sex because after all, you loved pleasing mark just as much as he liked to please you in return and you understood that he was less comfortable about sex than you, but today was about trying to see how long he could keep this game up for because god knows it was incredibly obvious he was running out of options.

finally almost admitting defeat, mark sighed and trapsed his way over from the kitchen where he'd just finished dishes, to you on the couch where he plopped down next to you and leaned on you reliantly, as you were still engrossed in your phone and your twitter feed.

"so.. whatcha doin'?" mark asked, his hand lightly touching your arm, and his head turning to try and see what you were doing as you looked up at him for a few seconds before continuing to scroll.

"twitter." you barely even utter, silence quickly following the one word answer. the way you had just killed the conversation with that one word answer was inevitably uncomfortable for the both of you as mark looked completely lost for words at how uninterested you were.

"what on twitter?" he hesitantly asked after an absurdly lengthy pause on both your parts, his hand coming up to hook into his hair as he tugged on it gently and sighed.

shifting your position as you felt yourself getting slightly restless, you shifted from having your legs crossed to just straight as you adjusted your blanket and poke your tongue out in concentration once you continue focusing on your phone.

finally realising you would need to answer him, you sighed, grinning to yourself knowing just how annoyed he was getting by the second.

"just you know, checking some of the guys tweets. it's been so long since i saw them all you know." you replied confidently, the smugness in your tone glaringly obvious by now.

"c'mon baby.. just look away from your phone for a few minutes. just, uh i don't know, play with my hair at least." he plead with you, bargaining at this point to gain anything he could from you.

you let out an annoyed breath, and forfeited.

"fine. come here." you conceded, patting the patch of couch next to you as he followed your instructions and rested his head there, allowing you to run your fingers through his hair and play with it, curling it absentmindedly.

"y/n?" he asked from next to you, motioning to his pants as you turned to look at him and his growing erection, the wet spot he had created earlier from his arousal still not completely dried.

poor boy, he didn't deserve all this teasing.

without a moment's hesitation, mark manoeuvred himself onto your lap, pulling the blanket off of your body and smiling to himself as he smiled down at you.

now this, this got your attention. it was unlike mark to be so forward and terse as he often opted to be more subtle with his hints as he knew you often picked up on them quite quickly. you very rapidly lifted your head up to look at him and smiled to yourself and him, tutting out loud as he bit his lip in response.

"oh, wow.. did i get the baby all worked up, huh? you must be absolutely begging for it if you're getting on your knees for me that easily." you let the words roll of your tongue as your dominant side cames out, causing mark to blush outwardly and let out a small whine.

"i've been waiting all day baby.. ALL day, and my cocks been so h-hard for you and i tried so hard to get rid of it in the bathroom earlier b-but you look so sexy with your hair up like that and i-i had a dream about you last night.. and i-i-" he whined to you, as you covered his mouth and hushed him, absolutely loving how he was stuttering already and practically begging for you to do something, anything to relieve the tension in his ever tightening pants.

"first of all; it's not baby, it's mommy. and second of all, use your words babyboy. tell mommy what you want her to do to you." at this, mark let out a sigh of relief and giggled at the difference in tone from how you were just minutes earlier, and leaned forward a little thinking to himself.

"c-can i.. ride your thigh mommy? i know it's weird and probably really pathetic b-but I need to cum quickly, it h-hurts being this hard for so long."

and he wasn't even lying, either. you knew that he had been hard all day and that from your own experience, being turnt on for that long could hurt if not dealt with, so you decided that you would give him this, just the simple act he asked for if it meant he'd get off you and leave you in peace.

you sighed and smiled, a playful bite of your lip following. "..okay. but, you can't touch me, ask me to touch you, and you have to cum in your pants only. got it?"

before you could even finish your sentence mark was already hurriedly nodding his head as you could see in his eyes just how excited your statement got him, and that despite the rules you layed out he was just as grateful as ever.

"y-yes mommy, thank you so much." he breathed out weakly as he looked down at your thigh exposed completely for his use, no pants to keep a barrier between his clothed cock and you since you were wearing sleep shorts.

"good, now" you motioned to your thigh and gave him a stern look, looking at his pants again and seeing him blush a deep crimson.

"ride my thigh like the little puppy you are."

without anything other than that, mark positioned himself straddling your thigh, and made quick work of relieving himself as he began to move back and forth in a rhythmic motion, the feeling of his cock rubbing against you as he gripped onto the couch for support, beautifully submissive whimpers and moans overflowing from his little mouth as he could barely contain his excitement and pleasure.

watching him chasing his own high, not caring about anything else got you deliciously aroused even if you knew the moment would be short-lived by the loudness and consistency of his sounds, you barely managed to keep your composure and the dominant facade you often played at the forefront as you scrolled through your twitter feed once again while mark humped and gyrated against your thigh like his life depended on it.

"f-fuck g-ah.. bab- i mean mommy, it feels so good." he told you, his tone shaky and unpredictable as he could barely control the pitch and loudness of his voice as he sped up and let out more and more sounds.

"i know babyboy, i can see by how needy the sounds coming from you are and that wet spot your needy little cock is making on my thigh? you love being mommy's little puppy don't you? humping her leg like the obedient little slut you are, so messy." you goaded him further, feeding into his fantasy as he only moaned in response nodding vehemently and allowed the beads of sweat now forming on his forehead to drip down completely.

he spent around 5 minutes doing this until he began to throb against your thigh quite obviously and he whispered to you that he was going to cum. by now, the wet spot and the substance had dripped further down you as he continued to move against it without a single worry, and for you it kept getting gradually harder and harder to pretend that you didn't want him to milk his cock all over you as he whined and moaned your name.

with every moan or whimper that he conjured, his cock was throbbing and moving more and you could just tell that his orgasm was approaching fast.

"is the little puppy gonna cum all over himself in his pants, hmm?" you teased, using your hand to grip his lower face and turn his view to you, knowing full well that he could barely form coherent sentences at that moment and loving it.

"this is the first time you've been this quiet all day babyboy, is my thigh really making you feel that good?" you continue to tease, seeing him screw his eyes shut and a grunt leave his lip.

"im cumming, y/n.. for y-you." he moans pathetically.

in mere seconds he's reduced to a screaming, writhing and sensitive mess as his orgasm washes over him like a wave, and his cock erupts generous amounts of warm into his boxers as he thanks you for being so lenient on him.

he almost immediately afterwards flops down next to you exhausted, breathing heavy and laboured as he kisses you on the cheek.

"i would say that im up for a second round but by the looks of you, you'll be lucky if you can catch your breathe properly." you joked with him.

"hey! you're the one who left me all day!" he spat back, looking at you in disbelief.

"i know i know, and im sorry for being so mean." you told him, lifting your head gently and changing position again not paying much attention to the wetness on your thigh still.

"the question is though, is a second round on the menu?"

[krreader]

chance encounter or fate?

pairing: im jaebum x reader ; min yoongi x reader (fwb) fandom: bts ; got7 warnings: language ; mentions of sex ; fwb relationship genre: angst ; fluff

summary: got7 was looking for a new producer. and if yoongi didn’t want to see your talent, jaebum would. and he found much more than a producer in you..

a/n: I understand babe. that man is.. PHEW. anyways, I hope you like it ♥

ask box | masterlist | fandoms | faq | multifandom reader blog

Yoongi pulled out of you with a moan, immediately pulling off the condom and throwing it into the trash, while you slowly stood up straight again, a little scared your legs might give in after that sex session.

“You were good,” he kissed your shoulder blade and helped you pull up your panties and jeans, “Thanks for stopping by.”

“Thank you for calling,” you laughed as you made your way over to the couch to relax for a second, “I needed that today.”

“Stressed?” he sat down on his chair opposite of you, so that you could talk for a bit. You might not be in a relationship, but you were still close.. in a sense.

“A little, yeah. My boss is being a bitch again, as always..”

“You should really quit if you're so unhappy, you know? Do something you love,” he turned around to his computer, “Like me,” then he smiled happily.

But that was exactly the problem, wasn't it?

You've been fucking Yoongi casually for over a year now and continued to drop hints that you really liked producing music as well. And you weren't too bad at it, you knew that. It was just so hard to get into this industry, so you definitely needed to know the right people. And for god's sake, you were having sex with one of the best producers around right now.. if anyone could get you in, it was him.

But he either didn't want you to do the same thing he was doing, or really didn't understand your hints.

And you didn't want to be blunt either, because you didn't want to make it seem like you were using him and having sex with him, so that you could get benefits from it.

No, you were having sex with him because you really enjoyed it and he relieved a lot of tension. And quite frankly, Yoongi was the best guy you’ve ever slept with..

“Yeah, I guess I should,” you sighed heavily and got up, “I'll get going. Call me this weekend?”

“As always,” there was no goodbye kiss or whatsoever.

This relationship was purely sexual. You both knew that and you have never crossed that line.

People always said women couldn't have these kind of relationships without catching feelings, but honestly? This has been going on for more than a year and the only feelings you had for Yoongi were attraction in the sexual sense. You wanted him to fuck you, not to love you.

You weren't attracted to him in that way.

That's what made this so easy for you both.

The perfect agreement.

And yes, you'd obviously love to find someone who'd love you one day, but until then, you would enjoy your time with Yoongi to the fullest.

On your way out, you couldn't help but stop by at one of the empty studios.

You always checked the schedule on the door and made sure it would be empty for a while and so far, nobody had noticed that you had ever even been in there.

And since you didn't have equipment at home, this was all you had. All you could ever really use..

At the same time, Jaebum entered BigHit, clearly a little upset.

“I don't understand why we have to work with someone from BigHit. We have our own people for this..”

“True.. but we want your next song to be different. And when it comes to different, BigHit is the spot to look for good producers.”

He hated this, hated having to look for producers like those of JYP were shit. Or maybe he just hated having to come here to look for them.

Sure BTS was doing great and Jaebum was happy for them, but GOT7 was doing great too, right? They didn't really need BigHit..

“Wait here,” his manager said as he walked into an office.

So Jaebum did. He pulled out his phone and texted his band members, telling them just how much he hated this until he heard sounds coming out of a studio to his left that were the kind of different his manager had talked about before. They sounded new and fresh.. they sounded fantastic, to be honest.

Curiosity got the better of him and he pushed the door open just a tiny bit and was surprised to find only one person in the room.. and a pretty person at that.

He watched you play around with the buttons like you were destined to do so, watched you smile when something sounded good and watched you bop your head with the rhythm. And then he watched you stare right back into his eyes. That’s when his jaw dropped a little.

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry,” why were you apologizing to him? He had been the one to intrude, hadn't he?

“It's fine,” he quickly said and shook his head, but you continued bowing as if you had just committed a crime.

“Please don't tell anyone I was in here.. I'm begging you.”

“I.. I won't,” he laughed, “I'm not from here.. I'm from JYP.”

You took a deep breath, releasing it a moment later, clearly being relieved. But why?

“Thank god.. you're not going to rat me out, then?”

“Why would I do that? And anyways, you're incredibly talented.. you should be in that studio and getting paid for it.”

“Wh..- What?” your eyes widened.

“Did nobody ever tell you that? You're amazing..”

No. Nobody ever told you that, mostly because nobody knew about your talent in music production. Nobody had ever cared enough to ask and if they had, they just shrugged it off, because how could you, not involved with any music company, have talent in that area?

“Thank you so much.. that.. you don't know how much that means to me,” you beamed from ear to ear, brushing your hair behind your ear.

“I'm Jaebum, by the way,” he extended his hand.

“Oh! Hold on.. I know you! GOT7, right?” shit. He did look familiar.

“You're ahead of me, I'm afraid,” he laughed, but you thankfully shook his hand a moment later. That would have been majorly awkward otherwise.

“I'm (Y/N). I'm uhm.. a friend of Min Yoongi.”

“Yoongi, huh? Didn't know he had a lot of friends.”

He didn’t. But you didn't want to say that.

And speaking of which, a moment later, Yoongi came out with another guy. A guy that turned out to be Jaebum’s producer.

“(Y/N)? What are you still doing here?” Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows.

“I was just..-” oh god.. if he found out you were playing with the equipment, BigHit’s equipment, he'd definitely end this thing between you two. So you had to come up with a lie.. quickly. However..-

“I want her to be our producer,” Jaebum smiled at his manager, “She's not from BigHit, so we wouldn't have that connection to them. No offense, Yoongi.”

“None taken, but.. (Y/N) is no producer, though?”

“Yet,” Jaebum shrugged, turning his head to look at you “All she needs is a chance. And I'm willing to give it to her.”

That's more than anyone else ever had..

A knock on the door made you look up from your laptop, a happy smile on your face when you saw the man you owed all this to walk in.

“I thought you might want something to eat..”

“You're amazing.. thank you so much,” you gladly took the cup of Ramen and crossed your legs, immediately beginning to eat.

“How's it going?” Jaebum sat down next to you, looking at the screen of your laptop.

“Really good,” you quickly gulped down the food in your mouth, “I think you guys are going to like it.. It's new, it's different and it's hopefully going to bring you a few awards.”

“Know that if so, that's all your doing,” he smiled and leaned his elbow on the desk, simply watching you eat.

After you had shown JYP your talent, they had been quick to hire you, agreeing with JB that you were one of a kind and that they had to get you to work for them, before someone else would see your talent and snatch you away from them. That was almost two months ago, now.

Two months that Jaebum saw you almost every single day. Two months that he got to know you and two months that he had fallen for you.

Which was so easy, to be honest.

You were yourself around him, had never tried to be someone else and he loved that. He fell for your personality, the real you. He fell for your talent and your beauty. 

But he knew that there was something going on between you and Yoongi, so he never told you about his feelings. But it just got harder and harder, day by day. All he wanted to do was at least try to ask you out and see if you said yes.

But that fear of rejection..

..we all know that.

“Do you have anything planned for this weekend?” you asked as you wiped your mouth.

“Don't think so.. why?”

“Someone from my family is having this party that I need to go to and I don't really want to go alone, so.. I was hoping you'd come with me.”

“To meet your family?” he raised his eyebrows, “Shouldn't you ask.. I don't know.. Yoongi to a party like that?”

“Yoongi?” you snorted, “No. I don't think my family wants to meet Yoongi. Besides, I only ever told them about you.. they wouldn't even know who Yoongi is,” and you doubted they would like that introduction: ‘Hi, fam, this is Yoongi, the guy that has been banging me for the past year’.

Yeah, no. That didn’t sound too good.

“You.. told your family about me?” his eyes widened, clearly surprised to hear that.

“Yeah.. the wanted to know who they had to thank for helping me get this job.. and now they kind of do want to thank you,” you scratched the back of your head, “I know it's weird and you probably don't want to, but..-”

“I do! I do want to!” he quickly said, but then cleared his throat right away and repeated it a bit calmer and an octave lower, “I mean. I'd love to meet your family.”

“Great.. I'll tell them later tonight.”

But what neither Jaebum nor you knew and only found out on the day you both arrived at the party, was that your entire family thought you were a couple. You didn't know if you had accidentally made it sound like you were, or if it was just the way you two were so comfortable around each other when you talked, but everyone told you how handsome he was and how lucky you were to have him by your side.

“Your family thinks we're dating,” he muttered under his breath when he showed up next to you at the buffet.

“I know.. did you.. tell them otherwise?” you looked up at him with questioning eyes.

“You?” he asked, almost a bit hesitantly.

“I asked you first.”

He let out a sigh and shook his head, “Didn't.”

“Me neither.”

This is it, Jaebum thought. Ask her out now, now is the perfect time.

“(Y/N).. when we get back.. do you think.. well.. you and me could.. I don't know.. get some.. you know coffee or something? Like.. as in.. uhm.. a date?”

He was so bad at this. You'd think he was better at it and just go all in, but nope. He was so awkward.. and yet so sweet and gentle that it made your heart flutter.

“You want to take me out?” you were genuinely surprised. Had you developed feelings for him? Absolutely. How could you not have after everything he had done for you. Did you think he would ever reciprocate these feelings? Not in the slightest, mainly because you thought he only ever was interested in what you brought to the company..

Seems as if you had been wrong all along.

“I mean.. only if you and Yoongi..-”

“Jaebum,” you grabbed his hand to stop him from talking any further, “I ended things with Yoongi a month ago.. when I realized I wanted to date someone else,” not that you ever thought you had a chance with Jaebum, but you suddenly felt really bad that when you were sleeping with Yoongi, you kept thinking about JB. That wasn’t fair to you, and definitely not to Yoongi.

..who had taken it surprisingly well and you still called each other up every now and then to just talk and see how the other one was doing. So that was nice.

“You ended things with him? Really?”

“Yeah.. even though.. I never thought you’d be interested in more than my talent.”

“I am interested in so much more,” he grinned and interlinked your fingers with his as you were still holding his hand, “So is that a yes, then? A date?”

You tried to keep yourself from smiling, but it was so hard not to, when he looked at you with so much happiness, “Yes.”

You always wanted to fall in love.. maybe you now finally could.. maybe he was the one.

[redwoodrroad]

1, 6, 11, 29, and 46 for Eridunis!

:D wow thank you!!!! sorry it took so long to respond, but here’s another picture of Eridunis:

Also I’m putting it all under a cut because it’s a long response adhfaslkfjh i talk so much in these LOL

1. What does your character’s name mean?

i am….. a gigantic astronomy nerd; I love space, i love learning about stars, and i have a fondness for named constellations / asterisms. Originally, I fell in love with the name “Eridanus”: In that pretty famous Greek Mythos that pretty much everyone knows (another one of my obsessions), Phaethon begged his father, Helios (God of the Sun who rode a chariot every morning across the sky that would pull the sun into its place), to drive the chariot one morning. Helios allowed it, but Phaethon wasn’t able to fully control the chariot, and the horses went wild; Zeus eventually struck it down, and Phaethon with the chariot fell into the river–the river Eridanus. Here’s a hot pic of the constellation marking this event, right next to my FAVORITE constellation:

The son of the sun god, in his tragic tale, being felled by overconfidence, oversimplifying a massive task, and a much more powerful force to be deeply respected. Really sounds familiar now HUH i REALLY called that one three years aGO

Of course, as soon as I tried typing in “Eridanus” into the character creator, I found out it was already taken SO i retyped “Eridunis” as just a small alteration, and it worked! Also, unlike Eridanus (which I pronounce as “er-i-DA-nus”), I pronounce Eridunis as “er-I-du-nis” which the emphasis on the I if that makes sense. I know that was a long explanation, i’ll try to keep the others shorter, but I LOVE explaining how i got his name, and even then there’s more to it with Arkus next to him.

6. Do they have any hobbies that their lover finds unusual, odd, or otherwise annoying?

UH hm since he’s always traveling, it’s tough to do his usual hobby, which is gardening (especially in the desert), but he’s also a weaponsmith and a jeweler, so I think he takes that with him. He tries crafting items late at night, as like a distraction or a stress reliever, and Arkus has to frustratingly drag him to bed at 1am.

11. What is something that would make your character fly into a rage?

Anything someone else would say that would disrespect Arkus or his authority / integrity / expertise. He’s heard a lot of people, over the years, talk smack about Arkus–mostly because a lot of people don’t really know what Arkus does for the Pact and don’t know how he’s involved with Eridunis–and Eridunis has either overheard or been told about people saying things like, “he’s the Commander’s hype man, and that’s it,” “he’s just here to look pretty,” or if they do know what Arkus does, they might be like, “the Priory obviously doesn’t need him there, so he bums around here,” you know, things like that. Eridunis loses it when he hears things like that or even hears about them–he doesn’t even do diplomacy for these situations either, no “look, you need to respect Arkus because he’s with me; if you respect me, you need to respect him” shit, it’s just curses and punches at that point, immediately. When Trahearne was around, he had to break up a lot of these sorts of fights rip

29. What is one of the most courageous things your character has ever done for a loved one?

I don’t think there’s ever like a pinnacle moment where they’re like separated because Arkus has been taken or something, like no life-threatening thing has ever made Eridunis sacrifice himself for Arkus; however, there was like a…. social-political kerfuffle… Arkus is a Magister for the Priory, but he always wanted to rise to Archon status. Sometime around 1326-ish, like I wanna say around living world season 1, Arkus presented his research and submitted himself for Archon consideration, and when he sat through the ceremony (in which I feel like only one Magister might be named; it’s probably like a yearly thing so it’s incredibly competitive and hard to obtain), surprise, surprise: Someone else gets it over him.

Eridunis is also there, supporting Arkus, and after the reveal, he encourages Arkus to ask Gixx for some clarification, and Gixx sort of vaguely tells him that he hasn’t done much beyond dragon research (which is for the Pact, Gixx argues, NOT for the Priory), he’s always away with the Commander, but he avoids the fact that the research Arkus did submit 1) wasn’t dragon research, and 2) was incredibly thorough in its own way and had nothing to do with the Pact at all, and Arkus felt like Gixx was just hiding something.

To make a long story short (too late), Eridunis takes it upon himself (sort of at Arkus’s warning and behest; he didn’t want either of them to get in trouble) to sniff out a conspiracy and unveil that Gixx was no longer examining submissions for Archon consideration; he had silently given that task to someone else at the Priory. To make matters worse, that person had biases against several Magisters and Archons–and they had a particular bias against Arkus because of his race and his connection to the Pact. The reason I bring this up for this purpose is that the Durmand Priory is a huge organization, and Gixx is incredibly influential. Even if he lost his status from a slip-up like this–ESPECIALLY consider that it was during this time where the Aetherblades were infiltrating organizations and garnering power, imagine the damage that could have done under Gixx’s complacency–he still pulls the strings on a lot of smaller groups affiliated with the Priory. Not only that, but the Pact could risk losing the Priory as a subsidiary group–all because the Commander took the personal issue of Arkus’s “failure” and made it bigger, and public. Eridunis risked his job, his authority, he could have made the Pact suffer a huge loss in manpower, and he knew he was risking it–because Arkus warned him it could happen like that. But he did it anyway because the relief Arkus felt in recognizing that his research was enough–he was enough–for receiving that title made it all completely worth it to Eridunis. and that was a really long explanation for something that isn’t even like, traditionally-heroic, but adfakadfh i think it fits

46. What is some random affectionate thing that your character always does to their lover?

Later in the story, Arkus and Eridunis start doing a little bit more PDA (nothing beyond hand holding; they’re really private people), and I think Eridunis starts putting his hand on Arkus’s back. Just anywhere, but particularly in the upper-middle part of his back, and he just runs his fingers along his spine over the cloth. And if Arkus is wearing the Elonian Elementalist outfit (which he wears in the hottest parts of the desert), Eridunis lets his fingers sit down on the small of Arkus’s back, and he’ll do the same thing–or if he thinks no one is looking, he’ll put his whole hand flush to Arkus’s back and drift it up under the cloth to casually hold him for a sec. very cute ;u;

im SO SORRY this is so long but i hope you enjoyed reading all of it, i had a lot of fun writing it all out; thank you again so much for asking!!!

[joonshadow]

"i'm not straight"

being in the closet isnt that much fun

or

namjoon comes out to the other members after hiding for so long.

/namjoon-centric fluff/

namjoon knew he wasn't straight for quite a while now but never told anyone, neither his family or his members. not because he wasn't sure about it, heck no, he knows for a hundred percent.

but coming out to yourself is really hard and coming out to everyone else in your life is even harder sometimes.

the leader always is open and accepting, never judging anyone. he has some not straight friends and loves them so much, couraging them to be open and happy. but being not straight himself is a bit different.

first, he could never be open about his sexuality to the whole world. its just the sad truth that an idol isn't supposed to be gay, they should be "normal" and appealing to their fans, who are mostly female.

which leads to the second reason; the hate.

as the leader of the group its his job to hold the members together and look after them. if he came out as gay, the media would go crazy and not just attack joon, but probably the whole group with hate and drama.

so no, being out and about isn't really an option for him. but for a while now he thought about telling his little "secret" to his members, his best friends who are like a second family for the boy.

-

turns out that trying to come out is nerve wracking as fuck.

all seven boys are cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie yoongi choose called "love simon" and eating popcorn.

namjoon is squished inbetween jungkook and hoseok, the youngest laying his head down on joons lap while his head is on hoseoks shoulders.

namjoons hands are sweaty, his heart is bumping hard in his chest and his throat is dry as hell. the blonde boy kept thinking over and over how he should say it but everytime he wants to say it out loud, he gets too scared.

its weird because he knows he will receive nothing but love and support from his friends, so he doesnt know why its so scary to actually tell them.

probably because his whole life, it was his little secret just for himself that no one else knew. so telling it someone else who obviously isnt him, is scaring the hell out of him.

and the time passes, the movie almost over and jungkook asleep on his thighs.

the first one to speak up wasnt namjoon, it was taehyung.

"i love this movie, its awesome. the two boys are so cute together!", the blue haired boy said with a sleepy voice and smiled at the other members, everyone agreeing with him instantly.

which makes joon incredibly happy. he doesn't know if its just something he feels or if its common among lgbt people, but everytime someone whos important to him says something accepting or nice about the community, his heart secretly bursts full of happiness in his chest.

"its late, we should sleep.", hoseok mumbled while carefully standing up, trying not to wake the youngest member up.

"youre right, hyung. do we have any schedules tomorrow?", asked jimin, who also was almost asleep next to jungkook.

seokjin told them all that they dont have anything planned for the next week since promotions are over and their tour starts in three weeks. everyone smiled because that means they would all be able to sleep as long as they want tomorrow.

namjoon brought some blankets from his room for jungkook who will sleep on the couch today because everyone is too tired and lazy to wake the youngest up and bring him to bed.

he carefully put them over him and tucked the sleeping boy in, kissing his head before turning off the tv and going out of the living room as quiet as possible.

seokjin and hoseok already dissapeared in their rooms, tired from practising their newest choreo all day long, while jimin and taehyung were in the bathroom and getting ready for bed.

namjoon did the same, telling the younger ones to sleep well and not to stay up too late before going to his room as well.

yoongi was his roommate, the two rappers sharing their room for quiet a while now.

the older boy was already in his bed when namjoon came in and crawled into his bed after changing into his pyjamas.

namjoon thought he was already asleep so he tried his best to be quiet and not make any noise to disturb the other. he almost fell asleep too before he heard some footsteps coming near his bed, his big blanket being held up and yoongi going under them.

it wasnt surprising since the two of them cuddle almost every night. but namjoon still got surprised as yoongi began to talk in a soft, calm voice.

"whats wrong, joon? i know somethings on your mind. you can talk to me, you know?"

is he that obvious? okay maybe he is a little bit tense lately, trying so hard to act normal but at the same time trying to find a good moment to tell his members about his sexuality.

after the movie was over today, he was kinda pissed at himself because he wasted such a good opportunity to tell them.

"i dont know what you mean, hyung. im just like always?"

yoongi sighed but besides that he just stayed silent. he softly caressed joons hair and waited for the younger boy to speak up when he is comfortable with doing so.

namjoons heart started to pound faster and he felt his hands getting sweaty again. maybe this was better than telling it everyone at once.

so he took a deep breath, tried to get his shit together and with a voice that yoongi almost wasnt able to hear, he finally said it out loud.

"im gay."

namjoon couldnt see yoongis reaction, wasnt able to read his face because it was pitch dark in their room and his back was turned towards the older one.

he started to breath faster, anxiety rising up in him because yoongi didnt say anything and for a second namjoon thought that he will hate him now.

but all his fears went away as yoongi wrapped his arms around namjoons waist and pulled him a little bit closer, giving him a soft kiss on his shoulder and smiled against his neck.

"hyung?"

"what?"

"arent you gonna say anything?"

"what should i say, joon? its no big deal,

i still love you. youre still the same person as before, you know?"

namjoon fell asleep a few minutes later with the biggest smile on his face.

-

"so for how long have you known?"

yoongi decided the morning after that just the two of them should sit together and talk a little bit. namjoon was more than okay with that which resulted in them sitting on yoongis bed, both with a cup of tea and surrounded by soft blankets and pillows.

namjoon told him everything, about how he found out and if he ever had a boyfriend, to which he sadly answered with a no.

"i dont know if anyone would every truly love me for who i am, you know what i mean?", namjoon said and looked down at his cup.

yoongi looked at the other boy and smiled softly, hitting his shoulder playfully.

"i bet youll find the perfect boy soon, joonie. dont worry too much about it."

-

this same afternoon namjoon decided that he should tell the other members too. it was unfair to just tell it yoongi and keep this big secret from everyone else.

its kinda hard to plan this kind of stuff since he is the type of person to back out on the last second. but after feeling so relieved from telling yoongi about his sexuality, he figured it wont be that bad to tell the others as well.

he went to seokjins and hoseoks room, knocking on the door twice and letting himself in after hearing a tired "yes?" from the inside.

there they were, sitting on their comfortable beds while probably scrolling through social media and stalking fan accounts. neither of them looked up, too concentrated on their phones and whats going on on the internet.

"hyung?"

both of them looked up after they heard namjoons quiet voice filled with anxiety, instantly putting away their phones and just focusing on him which, to be honest, didnt make this any easier.

"whats wrong, joon?", hoseok asks curious while standing up, taking his hand and pulling him over to seokjins bed.

hoseok sat right next to jin, which meant that namjoon is right in front of the two older boys.

nervously he was fiddling with his hands, taking a deep breath and thinking about what yoongi told him.

its no big deal,

youre still the same person as before

"i have something to say that i feel like you two should know, okay? its nothing big, at least thats what yoongi hyung says, but i just wanted you guys to kno-"

"are you gay or what?", hoseok said while letting out a small giggle, stopping the moment he saw namjoons surprised face.

"wait, youre really gay. holy shit, im sorry namjoon, i didnt mean to-"

"oh shut up hoseok, dont make this even more embarassing for yourself.", seokjin insisted and then just focused on namjoon, who was just hella surprised and a little bit shocked to be honest.

"yeah, im actually gay. thanks for ruining my big surprise", namjoon joked and smiled at hoseok, who still feels kinda bad and tightly holds joons hands in his.

the two older boys gave namjoon a big hug, telling him that theyll love and support him no matter what and reminded namjoon that theyre always here if he needs someone to talk to.

everything they said means a lot to joon and he is so happy to hear it, especially from the oldest member in the group. the two were always really close with each other so to know that seokjin still loves him just the way he is, means a lot.

-

"hyung?"

namjoon looked up from the pot with boiling hot water in it, making pasta for everyone or at least trying to. taehyung came into the kitchen and just silently started to cut the vegetables that joon already put out for cooking.

"whats up, tae?", joon asked while taking out spices from the cabin, tasting the sauce for the noodles before adding some more salt and pepper. hes not the best cook but still able to make simple pasta with tomato sauce without making everyone sick or burning down the kitchen.

taehyung put away the knife for cutting the veggies, puts his hands on joons shoulders and turns him around so that the two boys are facing each other.

"uh, taehyung? what are you doing?"

the younger one just hugged joon tight and buried his face in the taller ones neck, pulling him close. to say that namjoon was a little bit confused was an understatement.

taehyung began to speak quietly with a shy, almost embarassed voice against joons soft skin.

"i heard you, hobi hyung and jin hyung talk in their rooms. i shouldnt have listened, but i was so curious about what you guys were talking about. im so sorry, hyung."

he was a little bit confused but understood after a second whats going on.

"so you know?"

the blue haired boy nodded quickly and promised namjoon that he doesnt mind it at all and that hes still the best leader of the whole world to which namjoon just responded with a soft "thank you", a big smile and an even bigger hug.

-

the day is almost over, no one really did anything besides sleeping and eating all day long. days like these are much needed after stressful promotions and exhausting award shows.

the boys ate joons pasta for dinner, complimenting him on his "amazing" cooking skills and after that they all just dissapear in their rooms or somewhere else in the house.

it was already dark outside as namjoon sat down on their big couch, pulling his phone out and scrolling trough social media.

most of the fans dont know but all of the members love to look at all the different fan accounts and see what they say about their group. its fun.

around five minutes later he got a message from jimin.

jimin: hyung

jimin: do you want to watch a movie

jimin: just jungkook, yoongi and me

namjoon: sure

after hitting send, he made his way to jimins room, already hearing their voices and the tv playing in the background. he just went in there without knocking and got greeted by the sight of jimin making little ponytails with yoongis grey hair and jungkook eating leftover pasta from dinner.

"wow, looks like you guys are having a lot of fun without me", namjoon said laughing and just laid down on the bed next to jungkook.

"its boring just with yoongi hyung, most of the time he falls asleep during the movie and thats-"

"oh shut up, its not my fault that the movies you guys choose are always so boring."

both of them laughed after yoongi jokingly hit jimins arm, which hurt not even a little bit since he isnt really the strongest.

"what movie are we even watching today?"

"probably a bad love movie which jimin found on netflix after feeling lonely and sad again"

the next second jimin just deadass jumped on jungkook and both of them tried to push the other one down on the bed. jimin gave up a bit after since its unfair because jungkook is "way stronger and hes tickling him which is fucking unfair".

namjoon just laughs and sits a little bit closer to yoongi, the older one putting his arm around joons shoulders and pulling him even closer.

"guys, come on now. if you dont want me to fall asleep during the movie, we should start now and not just in a few hours when you two decided to calm down.", yoongi murmured kinda annoyed, he would probably rather be in his bed now.

after a few minutes the movie was playing on the big tv screen and all four of them cuddled up on jungkooks big bed.

namjoon couldnt hold back a small giggle after seeing that jimin chose 'titanic' and hearing yoongi and jungkooks annoyed sigh.

to be honest, it was actually really nice. a few minutes after the movie started, taehyung decided to join them too and just snuggled between jungkook and jimin.

yoongi couldnt hold back and after a while he was softly snoring on namjoons lap with messy hair and parted lips.

the younger one of the two just caresses the older ones hair, loving the way it feels between his fingers.

"did hyung fall asleep again?", jimin asked with not even a little bit of surprise in his voice.

namjoon just nodded without saying anything, he didnt want to wake up yoongi and taehyung, whos also sleeping in jungkooks arms.

maybe now is the right time to tell them too since they are the last ones who dont know about joons little secret yet. jimin is still looking at namjoon with sleepy eyes, smiling a bit.

"jimin, jungkook, i have to tell you guys something", namjoon whispered as quiet as possible, hoping the younger boys would understand him anyways since he would rather not say it twice.

"what is it?", asks jimin, now wide awake and looking at namjoon full of curiosity.

from jungkook he just heard a tired "hm?".

"im gay", he whispers softly.

he honestly expected to be more calm now considering he came out to so many people in such a short time. but hes still nervous, his heart beating fast and waiting for a reaction he already knows will be the same as all the others before.

"not surprising, hyung"

wait, what? namjoon was confused.

"what do you mean, jungkook?"

jimin just giggles and shrugs his shoulders. jungkook told him that it isnt really that big of a surprise since hes not that stupid and knows his hyungs well. namjoon wanted him to be a little bit more clear, so he explained why he always kinda knew that joonie isnt that hetero.

"you never had a girlfriend and neither do you really talk about girls the way, for example jimin, does. and since there were never any signs that youre straight, i just assumed you arent."

namjoon just laughs and sarcastically congrats jungkook on his smart brain and his skill on finding out peoples sexuality. jimin joins in too and after a bit they all just cant stop laughing.

both, taehyung and yoongi woke up from the noise, confused and tired.

"whats going on?", yoongi said so quiet that namjoon and the others almost didnt notice.

"namjoon hyung likes boys!"

after that, the three boys just started to laugh even harder, not even knowing whats so funny about the whole situation.

but theres one thing namjoon knows for sure.

and that is that hes genuinely happy right now, feeling so good after knowing that he doesnt have to hide anymore and that hes so so loved.

--------

you can find my other stories on wattpad @ smolouis

please leave feedback!!

[paradoxnbstuff]

this dumb bitch decided to make up my mind about top surgery once and for all and aside from just also wanting to do cool makeup again i took like an hour and did nice makeup and actually put on a bra (that i had to fill quite a bit bc i have no titty now lmao) and wore like. one of those cool v neck skin tight crop tops i always shy away from now and a pair of matching womens joggers designed to accentuate hips and like. took a minute. and figured out how i felt about it. and the biggest thing that made me really sad is how good i looked? like how easy it was to look like a fucking incredible 10/10 for a cis woman of my age. like. im not an incredibly sexual person but my god id be speechless in front of me any day of the week. and it was real fucking bittersweet because thats what id look like if i were comfortable being cis. and its exactly the aesthetic i love seeing and love on other people and i pulled it off easily and my body fit it perfectly and shit and my makeup looked incredible but after maybe 30 seconds i felt like i was about to crawl out of my skin and the thought of leaving the house was like completely untenable. and fucking christ. life. very obviously isnt fair but i feel like it needs to be stated. and yeah there are good things about being trans and its not all misery all the time but sometimes i just fucking hate it. and this isnt just about me being fit and thin and hourglass and shit amd thats why im sad that i look good if i were comfortable looking like a woman and its some sacrifice or some shit. its that the amount of effort and struggle that ive gone through for years and still do day-to-day just to be even partly okay with how i look and going through hrt and working out to try to make myself fit into a shape that is so so very far away from me and knowing i kind of look silly and ill-fitted and knowing i dont look my age when i dress in clothes that i can stand to have on me. and having the knowledge directly in front of me that the alternative is so fucking easy is like a slap in the face to all that work and i hate it.

that got real off topic but. point is i kept holding out because of mostly insecurity. like. no matter what i can still looking fucking incredible as a woman for my age!! maybe id just enjoy the ability to do that sometimes when i want to just to take a break from all this effort! etc etc. but like. nah. i gotta kind of make a choice at some point to stop second guessing myself. i know what makes me comfortable and happy to go outside and be seen as despite the fact that my shoulders are a bit too narrow to fill out shirts and my hips are a bit too wide to let things hang correctly, and its going to take a lot of work to make those things better, and theyll probably never go away completely. i shouldnt keep the easy option of looking cis as a backup because im scared of committing to maybe never passing as cis again or looking as good either way. especially not if it means hindering my progress in the directions i know i should be going in to relieve dysphoria.

anyways top surgery is a thing i know for 100% certain i want now and it only took making myself violently dysphoric by choice for 10 minutes and a long ass talking to myself to figure it out woohoo

[monsta-sextories]

Poolside - 7

Son Hyunwoo

word count: 2247

🎧 ocean eyes- Billie Eilish

“What are you thinking about?” you ask as you break away from Hyunwoo’s kiss. Tonight you both end up in the small guest house that he’s been occupying. You’re pleased to notice it’s still clean, but that’s about all you notice before you find yourself laying in Hyunwoo’s bed unwilling to leave for the night. 

“Always so quiet, but I know you’re thinking about something,” you continue with a smile, “I can see it in your eyes.” It’s hard to tell if he’s still dazed from the current situation or if the look he’s giving you means something else. Something specially for you.

His body goes a little still before he pulls his gaze away, just for a moment, and then he looks back at you with the same serious look he seems to wear often.

You’re both wrapped loosely in towels, the thick cotton the only thing separating bare skin- recently dried from the swimming pool. Neither of you have made any action to remove the layers, but with each gentle touch or subtle trace you can feel them disappearing, as the fabric slips looser around your bodies.

One of his hands is curled around your hip and you feel it falter for just a second.  

“What’s wrong?” you ask. There’s something unsure for a moment. His weight doesn’t seem as heavy, and it’s the closest thing to pulling away without pulling away.

“I don’t know what to do,” he finally says. He seems the slightest bit shy about the words, but not quite embarrassed. 

“What you did the other night was fine,” you say with a playful smile. He quirks a half smile for just a second and then refocuses again.

“I mean… what is this?” he says looking at you with furrowed eyebrows. The question is a little too blunt, and honestly, answering in such a position makes you panic. 

“It can just be this,” you say too quickly. There’s nothing truthful about it. Nothing that tells him what you want, or asks him what he wants, but after a moments pause the words just seem to slip out of you.

“It doesn’t have to be anything,” you say without much thought, and you can feel yourself regret the words immediately, because it’s already something. 

He doesn’t say anything, but he seems to accept it for what it is and slowly presses your lips together. It would be hard to not think about what just happened, and what you just said, if he hadn’t resumed so easily. 

It doesn’t take long until the towels are gone and you have the amazing view of Hyunwoo’s perfect torso hovering just above you. His arms on either side of you support him at just the right angle.

He slides into you carefully and it’s incredible that a man can seem so controlled in his movements, yet seem as though he’s trying to hold himself together just as bad as you. He fucks you for awhile tonight. There aren’t any words this time passed through his heavy breath or your soft cries. 

You come twice, but he doesn’t stop until you tell him to. When he does, it’s as if he’s relieved to finally let go as he collapses on top of you. His body nearly convulses and his toned physique allows you to see each contraction of muscle as they rippled through him. For some reason you find yourself thinking about weakness, and how this moment you feel completely open, unguarded… you wonder if Hyunwoo feels that too. If he’s ever felt it, what it means to be completely vulnerable for someone else. It makes your heart ache. 

His calloused hands find rest on your body here and there and eventually you both fall asleep wrapped around each other… it’s definitely something.

…

“This is relaxing,” you say as you smooth the soil around the stem of a newly planted fern. Your free hand lazily pats the mounds of dirt with the top of a trowel while Hyunwoo holds the other one in his hands.

“Mm,” he replies as he finishes wrapping the new bandage around your cut finger. It was a sweet, wordless gesture that made your heart warm at the sight but you didn’t want to bring too much attention to it. 

He releases your hand when he’s satisfied and immediately takes back his gardening tool. You’ve been helping him for the past few hours, mostly because you’ve realized it’s the only way you can really spend time with him during the day. 

He gives you simple tasks that you can’t really mess up, and he allows you to talk to him as much as you want. As long as he keeps moving, he probably wouldn’t even care if you just sat there and watched.

“Am I slowing you down?” you ask as he tunes back into his work. He looks over at you, and then turns around as if to see if anyone’s watching. He gives you a small smile and then shrugs.

“Are you trying to?” he asks with a raised brow. 

You shake your head and smile back. “I just like spending time with you.”

You notice the way Hyunwoo’s eyes almost disappear when he smiles even bigger now. There’s something about this man that makes you want to do anything for him. Fly him to another country, dress him up in something, eat expensive meals, and never leave the bedroom for days. But on top of that, you want to know what goes on in that head of his. You want to one day talk for hours and learn everything you can about him…

“Can we make another deal?” you finally ask. The question throws him off guard but he looks at you and nods. 

“What kind of deal?”

“If I help you get all your work done for today and tomorrow, you take tomorrow off.”

His face turns skeptical.

“You want to split two days work, in half the time?”

“I know you’re already ahead. And if there’s two of us…”

“You want to help me, so that I don’t have to work tomorrow. Why?”

“Well, obviously I expect something in return.”

He looks at you waiting for the catch. His stare alone makes you crumble just a bit, and regaining that composure is hard as always.

“You and I. Go out for brunch… and spend the day. Away from this house.” 

It’s much harder to sound confident with your request when you see his brows lower just a bit, and his expression twists into something of confusion. 

“What if you can’t keep up?” he asks, which isn’t the first question you were expecting but it sparks something like hope almost immediately.

“I’ll keep up,” you answer firmly because all that really matters is the fact he didn’t say no. He seems to ponder for a second before his face finally breaks into a quirked smile.

“Then it’s a deal.”

…

The rest of the day picks up rather quickly. He shows you what needs to be done and sends you on your way. You do the best you can, picking your tools mostly going off of memory from what you’ve seen Hyunwoo use. Some things don’t look nearly as good as what you imagine Hyunwoo would be capable of, but they get done. It doesn’t take long for the blisters on your hand to appear and the sweat to start running down your face, but you tell yourself to just keep moving. You think about the questions you’ll finally have the chance to ask when you finally sit down at a table and just… talk.

You don’t bother to check the time not even once, so you’re a bit surprised when you see Betsy starring at you bug-eyed from the back porch. You can see the smile twitching at her lips as she tries not to burst out laughing or make a comment. Perhaps you’d laugh too if you saw yourself, covered in dirt and sweat, still wearing a sundress trying to move as fast as possible. But you don’t have time to laugh, so instead you stick up a gloved middle finger and send it her way. She laughs and calls out a goodbye, which catches you off guard because it can’t be that late, can it? 

It’s been a good couple hours and you haven’t seen Hyunwoo. You do see the sky though, and the sun is starting to set. Unfortunately, you’re not done with the work. You straighten your back for the first time since you started working and you nearly hiss in pain at the stretch. Your knees are sore, you’re covered in filth, and the bandage that had been wrapped around your finger from earlier has disappeared. You sit back just a little, but your body seems to be acting on its own accord as you fall further back to lay flat on the ground. 

You’re running out of time… 

Before you get too comfortable though, you notice the figure making its way towards you. It’s Hyunwoo and you realize he’s moving much faster than you thought. Before you can make out what’s happening, he’s kneeling over you with concern.

“Are you okay?” he asks shaking you just a little.

“Im fine!” you say as you jerk yourself up. Wide eyes stare back at each other until Hyunwoo relaxes first.

“I thought you fainted,” he says finally sitting down next to you. You can tell by the way his body sinks that this is probably the only break he’s taken since he started. He wipes the sweat off his forehead and you almost want to smile at the way he rushed over here.

“oh,” is all you can think to say. Your momentary happiness washes away when you take in the work you’ve just done. Unfinished. And you still didn’t get to the third flower bed…

“Wow, these look great,” Hyunwoo says as he looks over what you’ve done. He seems genuinely impressed. You try your bets to smile back, feeling almost delirious from the exhaustion. He looks down at the stains on your dress, and you try to brush some of it off feeling self-conscious. 

You didn’t finish. You couldn’t keep up. And you can’t even bring yourself to say it just yet. 

He looks around and then takes your hand in his. He gently pulls off the gloves and sets them on the ground between you.

“A deal is a deal,” he finally says as he lightly presses his thumbs into your palms. Its just enough to sooth the horrible cramping.

“I didn’t finfish,” you say almost embarrassed. The odd heaviness of guilt apparent. He quirks a smile, something knowing hidden in it. 

“don’t worry about it,” he says as he places a really fast kiss to your cheek. “You did great,” he adds and quickly gives your dress a quick brush to get rid of some dirt. Part of you feels relieved because you can barely think about working on another part of the yard, much less actually moving. 

“You even put the stone in nicely,” he says as he pulls himself off the ground.

You stare up at his figure towering over you, and the happiness creasing his features. You’re exhausted, but even through your body screaming in pain, you’d follow Hyunwoo to the ends of the earth. You try to untangle your legs and pull yourself up as well, but you limbs feel as though they’re on fire. 

Hyunwoo bends just enough to offer you his hand and pull you up himself. 

“I’ve been watching you since spring,” you nearly croak out as your body adjusts to supporting your weight. He blushes slightly, but his hold on you doesn’t falter as he wraps an arm around your back to make sure you don’t topple over. 

“I don’t know how you do it every day.”

You both walk slowly alongside each other to make your way to the patio. As you do, you nearly double-take. The third flower bed you hadn’t finished… well, its finished. So many things run through your head at that moment but all you can do is stare. The perfection of each placement that is so Hyunwoo, but then again who else would it be.

“How did you…” you trail off, but you feel the reassuring presence of his arm around you as it pulls you closer. His smile is just tucked away, as he keeps his gaze on the ground.

“You’re incredible,” you say simply, trying not to let the small bubbles of guilt and humiliation break through the sweetness of Hyunwoo’s action. You could kiss him right now. And you should…

“I’ve never been invited to brunch before,” he says with a hint of humor. His hand finds yours as you make your way to the first patio step. He squeezes it tenderly, but it hits you like a wave of emotion.

To feel so vulnerable for another person…

“Uh, I don’t know if I have clothes to wear for-”

“It doesn’t matter,” you interrupt with finality. “That doesn’t matter.”

He looks at you the slightest bit surprised, but with a soft smile that you could stare at forever. 

“Get some rest,” he says before releasing your hand. He leaves you there at the edge of the patio before turning to leave. But your hand still tingles from where it was just joined to his, and your heart thrums at the thought of tomorrow.

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[deafinatlyafan]

i don't-im sorry part 2

Tw: suicide idealization ?

@starrykid @sanders-sideblog @romanass forgot who else i was supost to tag im sorry

thanks to @killerfangirl3 for the help and @analogically-prinxiety

It took a while for Logan to realize what had happened when he didn’t see Roman for weeks. Once he figured out Roman and Anxiety were hesitant to be around each other, was when he realized Prince had admitted his crush to Anxiety. (and Anxiety had rejected him.)  Logan didn’t know how long it had been but he knew he had to talk to him.

“Prince you okay?” he asked after a video Thomas did with the others. Thomas noticed how awkward and silent Prince was and had asked talked to Logan about it. Logan promised Thomas he would look out for the fanciful side (he about to do that anyways.)

When logan would ask Prince, he would brush him off.

“I’m good.” Roman would say.

After a few more times he decided he had enough of Prince’s lies and walked into his room. Prince was surised and stumblring with his pants on the ground, trying to put it back on. It didn’t faze Logan at all, but Prince was very flustered and angry.

“sheesh Logan! Give a warning next time!” Prince hissed, face blushing.

“Look Prince, I’m sorry Anxiety rejected you. I don’t know what it’s like but I can tell it’s having a negative impact on your emotional wellbeing, please talk to me.”

He didn’t know what to say, but he knew Roman needed to talk. Logan stood there with a hesitant and nervous Roman. It took a while before Roman said;

“it feels like he stepped on my heart.”

“that’s impossible! How-” “I said it felt like it, I didn’t say he actually did it.” Roman snapped. Logan shut his mouth, wanting to say that he couldn’t possibly know what it was like to have your heart stepped on, but he decided now wasn’t the best time to make corrections.

“I’m sorry, I’m not good at this kind of thing, go on.” Logan felt awkward but he was glad his friend was talking about it.

“I don’t know, I just, don’t want to be alive right now. I wish I could skip this part of life.”

“I’m sorry Roman, I wish I knew how to help. Just know this, you know how your cells keep on dying and regenerating to help you?” Roman looked confused but he nodded his head, “If they skipped even a part of you, you would end up different, that’s why it’s better to not skip this moment. It sucks you have to be in pain, but while this moment may as you say “suck” it will get better and you will fall in love again, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.”

Roman didn’t understand anything about his cell speech, but he could tell Logan was trying to help, “I just- “he started crying.

Logan was alarmed but went rushing to his side before he could fall and sat beside him, holding Roman close to his chest.

“Shh, its okay, I’m here, just let it out, it’s okay to cry.” Logan felt awkward but he knew Roman needed this. Roman (while feeling incredibly upset) was mostly relieved to have a friend to lean on.

Although it took a while before he could see Anxiety again without hurting as much, they were starting to be friends again, but during that time he started spending time with Logan. It was… oddly satisfying.

It took a long time -seven months, but he managed to get over him, and within that time he fell for somebody new.

He was scared, but he loved it.

Of course, Logan would never love him.

“Prince can you please get the third edition for this book,” Logan lifted a book from the kitchen counter he was sitting at, “from that shelf over there.”

Everyone knew Logan could have gotten it, but Prince knew that Logan didn’t like getting up during his studies.

“Thanks prince!” he said grabbing the book from Roman. Roman’s heart fluttered but he tried to keep it cool.

“No problem.” He left the room trying to stop grinning (he couldn’t). he walked towards his room but was stopped by Anxiety leaning on his door frame.

“You love him” Anxiety sang.

“shut up.”

“aww come on princy it’s adorable!”

“shut up.” Roman said again, he was too embarrassed to think of a comeback.

“but seriously, he obviously feels the same- “

“what do you mean? He’s aromantic of course he doesn’t feel the same.”

Anxiety sighed.

“obviously, he’s attracted to you in some way. Why don’t you ask him out?”

“he’s not looking for a relationship. HE’s aromantic, and doesn’t experience romantic attraction.”

“but-“

“end of discussion.”

Anxiety sighed walking away, trying to think up ways to get them talking about it. He needed to talk to morality.

*

“Come on! It’s so cute!! You should have seen the way he was grinning when he thanked him for that.” Morality was cooing and it was getting on Logan’s nerves.

“Why would he want to be with somebody who doesn’t experience romantic attraction. You know how he is with romance. He’s…Roman.”

“don’t you mean Roman-tic?!” Morality grinned.

“Exactly!” Logan said the joke going through his head. Morality sighed. “Look Logan, I don’t know how you’re feeling about all this, but he does like you in that way.”

“Morality can we talk about this another time please, I need to focus on my work.” Logan was feeling a bit tense and didn’t want to talk about it. To his surprise Morality complied and walked to the TV and turned it on.

Logan pretended to go back to his work. He wanted to be with Prince, but his feelings were so confusing. Could he be aromantic and want to date? Most of his aromantic friends didn’t even like to think about dating, the only ones who were okay with even considering dating were demi-romantic, but Logan wasn’t having ANY romantic feelings. He never experienced it.

After a few minutes, he was getting frustrated and upset so he slammed his books shut and carried it to his room. Avoiding Princes eyes when he walked by.

*

Prince was going to get food when he saw Logan. He refused to look at prince and kept walking past him. Prince was suddenly panicking. Did he overhear his conversation with Anxiety? Crap. Crap crap.

However, as the days passed by Roman startled talking to Logan less, embarrassed and ashamed. He hated that he felt this way. He wasn’t sure if Logan did overhear about the conversation, but he didn’t want to ask. However, it was when Logan’s attempt to joke around when he realized that Logan was bad at emotions and wouldn’t know how to let Prince down gently. (Actually, Logan noticed Prince was becoming distant and asked Morality for some jokes to help them bond.) he started to ignore Loganmore, trying to make it easier for when Logan was going to tell him that he didn’t want to talk to him again.

* After a few more days Logan couldn’t stand it anymore. Logan was reading when prince came in. “morning prince! he said. Prince ignored him and walked toward the kitchen.

Logan was furious.

"Why are you avoiding me? Why won’t you look me in the eyes anymore!" he snapped. Roman looked at him surprised. Tears were fillign his eyes. He didn’t want to lose him. Dang it, he didn’t want to lose him.

"You- you know why." Roman said. "No I don't! Just tell me. You’re not running away this time." Logan said standing in front of him. "It's because I love you!" roman snapped blushing and tears forming in his eyes. Logan stared him confused. “wait what?”

“I know- you think its gross, unnecessary and even stupid, but I think it’s great, and-and I hate that I feel this way towards you.” Prince didn’t know what to say so he stayed quiet, waiting for Logan to speak. “I still experience other attractions.” Logan felt hesitant and embarrassed, but if Roman was admitting this to him, he needed to admit this. Roman looked surprised.

“what?” “well aesthetic attraction-the pleasure of looking at someone pleasant, and sexual attraction.” both Logan and Roman blushed at this “and I do want a relationship, but I didn’t think you’d want to be with someone who doesn’t experience romantic attraction.”

“Wait what?” prince was confused.

“I-I don’t know I’m confused too. I thought I could only like platonic things, but I noticed I want to do things couples usually do.” He notices roman staring at him and felt embarrassed.

“oh sh- I’m so sorry Roman I didn’t mean to- I know you still have feelings for anxiety and that you aren’t ready to date and that you wouldn’t have to date someone who doesn’t feel romantic towards you, I-I just” he had never felt so embarrassed and horrified in his life. Was this how roman felt that night with anxiety?

“No, its okay, I’m just-I’m surprised. I -I like you a lot-uh-I jut.” Now roman was blushing hard.

“I don’t understand this either. I want to date and do the couple things, but I also don’t understand why I want it. I don’t experience romantic attraction, but I have wanted to do” he cleared his throat feeling a bit embarrassed “other things with you.”

“really?” Roman was feeling hopeful, but he wasn’t sure, “are you just saying that because of what I went through with Anxiety or- “

“No! it’s a legitimate feeling I have. I have wanted to do things couples do with you, but I know it’s not accepted. I’m glad you like me that way, but I’m also confused and hurt because I want to be with you, but I don’t experience the attraction, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“you could have a queeromatnic relationship with him.” Morality pointed out. Both Logan and prince jumped and turned to face Morality, who was eating popcorn smiling wide.

“wh-what” Logan asked.

“Do you care about him a lot in a way that isn’t quite a best friend but not really romantic?’

Logan thought for a minute. He realized his feelings for Morality and Roman were different. Morality was his best friend, but roman… wasn’t his best friend, but he wasn’t a friend or acquaintance either. Logan pondered this before realizing he and prince were staring at Morality.

“What? I do a lot of research! Sheesh, it’s like you guys think I’m a child.” Morality said turning around to walk away.

They stood awkwardly. “so, do you want to try? It’s totally fine if you don’t, I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.” Roman was stuttering and Logan found it cute. He went up to Roman and grabbed his hands

“Sure.” Logan said smiling before leaning forward to kiss him. “what was that for” roman asked clearly surprised, “I mean don’t get me wrong loved it, but why?”

“for being as you would call ‘cute’” Logan smile before kissing him again, Prince was smiling through the kiss. Maybe he would get his happy ending after all.