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#but i didnt get very far because i didnt want to overwhelm him with everything at once
thisqueernerd · 5 months
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#rejection and heartbreak rant part 3#i wonder if hell let me adore him as friends#but im right back where i started before confessing#where im afraid to be affectionate because i dont know how he feels about it#except now i fear even more than hell be uncomfortable#i asked him his boundaries on physical affection once and he said he wasnt ok with it when there was a deeper meaning#idk being in love with him seems like a deeper meaning to him#i wouldnt be doing so to try and get into a relationship#i really just want to fucking relax and enjoy one of my two comfort people#but everythings messy#im pretty sure id be happy without a relationship as long as i could freely show my love#but i dont know if hed be alright with that#we starting talking a bit about that#but i didnt get very far because i didnt want to overwhelm him with everything at once#why does he have to be the most complicated and closed off person ive ever met /aff#i wish i knew all his thoughts#i wish he wanted me#im not delusional when i say were practically perfect for each other#oh and im afraid that even if i am happy adoring him but not being with him#that hell choose a romantic partner over me and leave#because lets me honest#thats what happens in society#i dream of having a home and raising a family with him and my qpr#(who he loves /pl as well)#(or at least i assume platonically)#(but a part of me fears that maybe he likes her instead)#(he always did prefer fem people and shes way more confident and funny and similar to him than me)#anyway returning to my dreams with him in the next part#him
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boredandwiredkitty · 1 month
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WAIT! Before you go any further this is part two of a two part fic! If you didnt read the first part here is the link
PART ONE
REMEMBER this fic is NSFW and 18+!
Minors DNI
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You fled to the next hangar over. Quickly running up the steps inside to reach an internal office. If you locked it you would be relatively safe. At least that's what you hoped.
But you couldn't get very far. Just as you got to the top of the seemingly never ending stairs he was already behind you. Your body wasn't synching up with your mind very well and coordination was next to none. The scent overpowering now. Filling your mind with dangerous thoughts and your body with a desire that burned so hot.
You backed away till you bumped into the cool wall behind you. Your hands flattening out against it. Hoping it would give you some stability. The offices unfortunately on the other side of where you were. His much larger frame already blocking your escape. Slowly he stalked up on you.
Every step felt predatory.
The way he stared you down. He was a desert and you were the last bit of water to drink.
He moved over to you till he was standing right in front of you. His frame still towering over you despite you being on the raised platform. It made you feel vulnerable. Oh so very exposed. You might've as well be standing naked in front of him with the way his gaze penetrated you.
"Stay away!" You snapped. Trying to sound at least a tiny bit menacing. Though you couldn't fight instinct as you turned your head to bear your neck at him. A subtle sign of submission.
His optics pierced you with the ferocity inside them. A caged beast ready to be unleashed. "Why did you run from me?"
The timbre of those words shot straight to your core. It reverberated though you. Your spark skipping a beat. Stoking the fire raging within while your body clenched around nothing.
"Because...." you trailed off. Why were you running? Your hazed mind starting to glitch. Why do you run? He could help you. All you had to do was give in. Your knees started buckling as he stared down at you with blazing optics. Charged energy crackling in them. Thinking was progressively much more difficult now that his scent was overpowering your senses. "Because of shockwave this is what I have to deal with. It's my problem." You grit out. Barely finding your voice.
His servo slammed against the wall behind you. Caging you in with his arms. "No it is not!" He snapped at you. His venting becoming ragged. "You have me!" He rasped. There was almost hurt in his optics. "Stop thinking you have to fight everything alone. You know we're here for you."
"I know... ratchet is currently making a suppressant for me." Your voice was low. You didn't realize your nails were digging into your palms as you fought the urge to leap into his arms and beg for him to take you. Every second you stood there it was getting harder to rationalize fighting your urges. You tried to control your breathing. Everything was overwhelming your senses. Him being so close. If only...if only.....
"I see." Was all he responded as he took a step back. Giving you some space. Taking his deliciously sensual pheromones with him. Giving your mind a bit more clarity.
He didn't want to leave you. He didn't want ratchet giving you a suppressant. He wanted to help you in a way only he could. It was taking everything he had to keep hold of his self control. Being in close proximity to your tantalizing pheromones he wanted to mark you right there and then. To bond with you.
Oh how he wanted to hear his name being begged from your lips.
As he moved away from you your chest throbbed painfully. A strong tug towards the retreating mech. That invisible chord that connected you both pulled taut. The mech so inexplicably intertwined with you. The sharp pain causing your eyes to water. Fuck. To hell with this.
You pushed off the wall and wordlessly walked up to him. You could hear your blood singing in your ears.
Yes yes yes!
You slinked to the edge of the railing and placed your hands his chassis. Running them up slowly as you pressed your body against him. Reveling in the delicious contact. Little tingles erupting over your skin. How good would it feel with more contact? The clothes truly had to go. You wanted to explore every detail. Leave nothing untouched. Your movements were slow and gentle. Teasingly sensual. The opposite of the desire that raged in both of your sparks. The hunger to touch and claim all that could and couldn't be seen.
Such a shame ratchet had to waste time trying to make that suppressant for you.
"I can't hold back much longer." He growled lowly. The low roughened timbre of his voice having an edge of danger to his warning. The vibration tickling your chest.
His servo caressed your face as you looked up at him. Energon now glowing in your irises.
"Then dont." You murmured back. Pressing your cheek furthur into his servo. Nuzzling into it affectionately. You were lost to your heat now.
His systems hitched. "Do you want to wait for ratchet?" His voice was strained. His free servo hovering over your frame. He so badly wanted to touch you. But if he started he knew he wouldn't be able to stop. Not with you teasing him like this.
"Ratchet can make it for next time. I'm done denying myself."
"Are you absolutely sure about that." Wheeljack urged. There was an unmistakable yet faint crackle of static in his voice of the strain he was putting himself under. He rather not be having this conversation now but before you started your heat. He doubted his ability to just pull away now that his instincts were in overdrive. He was trapped by your pheromones.
You pulled away from him. Your sparks crying out in protest at the sudden lack of contact. Backing away slowly from him just enough to give yourself enough space to jump over the railing. Fuck taking the damn stairs.
Wheeljacks panicked optics followed you as you went to stand in the middle of the hangar. The light from the moon filtering through the open door to softly illuminate your flushed features. Giving you an ethereal glow.
Celestial. Hypnotic. Perfect.
It pained him to think you might be rejecting him. Though he wanted to give you a choice. Even if it's one he didn't want to give.
You extended your hand out to him beckoning. "I want you."
Wheeljack was awestruck. His luminous blue optics drinking you in. Captivated by you.
"Only you can do this. Nobody else. It is your energon that flows in my veins. It has to be you." You confessed.
He didn't need any more reassurance. That was just enough. It only ignited the inferno that raged inside his spark for you. What you weren't expecting was him to mass displace. Only now slightly towering over you as he came to take your hand.
You could only blink before you were forced on your back. Him leaning over you with that same intensity earlier burning in his bright optics. He reached his limit. There was no escape for you. The beast was freed.
"What are you waiting for." You giggled with a murmur. Your hand reaching up to caress his cheek while draping your right leg over his hip. "Make me yours."
His servo gripped at the thigh pressed at his side. Digits pressing into the soft flesh. He decended onto your lips with his own. Roughly capturing yours in firery passion. A blaze that removed all doubt.
Moving to grip your ass he lifted your hips up. You wrapped your other leg around him for better leverage as he ground his hips against you. Earning a needy moan to slip out past your lips. The action made you breathless. Your hands gripping at his back. Desperate to press your body as tightly against his as possible. Any space was too much. You wanted as much skin contact with him as possible.
He bit your lips teasingly. Pulling away just enough to bury his face in the crook of your neck.
So enticing.
Danger flashed in his optics. He wanted that pretty and untouched neck of yours to bear a mark. HIS MARK.
He nipped at the area. Testing your reaction. Pleased when you gasped and ground your hips harder against him encouragingly.
"Please." You whimpered into his audial.
"Not yet." He murmured. Gotta save the best for last. It's much sweeter that way.
He sat up for just a moment to see you splayed for him. To ingrain every detail into his mind. To never forget. Your chest quickly rising and falling. Your glowing eyes glistening as your lips were parted in anticipation. But it wasn't enough. He wanted you completely bare for him. No obstructions from his view.
He was tempted to cut your clothes off with one of his swords but thought against it. You needed those for later to prevent others from spying on what was rightfully his.
You sat up as well. Taking the opportunity to carefully pull your shirt over your head. Your upper body now in full view. You wrapped your arms around him as he pulled you close. Letting his servos roam over your supple chest to trail over the sinful curve of your waist down to your hips.
Every touch was electrifying. It left you hungry for more.
You let your own greedy hands roam. Exploring different parts of him that weren't easy to get to at his full height. While kissing his cheek to his audial you let your fingertips trace up and down the underside of winglets on his back.
He gripped you tighter with a jolt. Never have he been caressed so gently.
So intimately.
You felt him sudder against you. Letting out soft groan in your ear from from your delicate touches. He could already feel the charge building within his circuits.
He tangled his servo in your hair close to the nape of your neck. Recapturing your lips before pushing you back down. Pinning you underneath his larger, stronger frame.
You were drowning in him. The heavy scent of lust mixing in both yours and his in a intoxicating concoction.
Your head swirled. Consumed by thoughts of him. "Jackie please." You moaned out breathlessly as you arched your back. You felt overwhelmingly empty between your thighs. You wanted him to bury himself deep inside. Your underwear were already soaked through in eagerness to take your mech.
"Wheeljack!" Ratchets voice cut through the night air. Making you both jump.
Instantly wheeljack moved to shield you from view. Snapping his head up to glare at the CMO with a threatening growl rumbling from deep within his chassis. "Why are you here?!" Predatorial rage flickering in his icy blue optics.
Ratchet noticed wheeljack clutch you closer to himself. Trying to separate you both now would be too dangerous. There would be no reasoning with the rutting mech. It was obvious that wheeljack was seeing him as a threat. Wheeljack was a skilled warrior. It wouldn't be wise to put himself between the two of you. But there was still something he must do.
Ratchet raised his hands to show he meant no harm. Now speaking in a softer tone. "I came to find you in case if this happened." He slowly shuffled towards the two of you. "I'm not here to separate you. Only to give you this." He stated while showing a cybertronian sized syringe.
"It's a nanite suppressant. For you. A precaution to ensure (name) doesn't get sparked." Ratchet continued. Hoping wheeljack was lucid enough to listen to reason. Ratchet was glad that he found you both before it was too late.
Wheeljack narrowed his optics in warning. Tensing more as ratchet crept closer.
As ratchet cautiously moved forward wheeljacks optics would flick to him then to the syringe. This was dangerous no doubt. Ratchet was mentally kicking himself for not giving it to wheeljack sooner.
Ratchet was now only a few feet away. "Wheeljack I need you to give me your arm." Ratchet urged the mech. "I'm not here for them. This isn't the suppressant. This is for you. If you want to do what's best for them please give me your arm."
Wheeljack glowered at the medic before shifting you in his hold. Shielding you more before reluctantly outstretching his arm. Sharp optics watching him closely.
Ratchet sighed in relief. It was going to be more difficult since wheeljack was mass displaced but it was just going to have to work. There was no way that the wrecker was going to let you go.
Ratchet slowly crouched and administered the injection. Watching as wheeljack let out a sharp hiss as the seemingly larger syringe was inserted. Once that was taken care of ratchet stood and backed away. "I will only say this. Please be careful." And exited the hangar. Taking care to close the door so you both should be left undisturbed.
While your mech was getting his injection you nuzzled furthur against his plating. Taking in his dominant aura.
He was agitated that you both were interrupted but calmed seeing your unfazed state. Your doe eyes peering up at him with curious hands roaming over his plating.
You turned to kiss the spot where he was injected. You could almost sense his pain.
Eagerly you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss you again. Your tongue finding his glossia.
You could've melted. Passion pouring through the kiss. You needed more.
You pulled away just long enough to murmur up at him. "I can't wait any longer. Jackie. I need you.
A soft primal growl escaped from wheeljack. Nothing was going to stop him this time.
With enough care not to hurt you he yanked your shorts and drenched underwear off with fervor.
He drank in your naked body lying underneath him. Ready to be taken. His spike begging to be freed from behind its panel. He wanted to sink into you. To feel you mould around him.
He placed his servo on your cheek. Slipping his thumb in your mouth to press against your tongue. Wondering dangerously how it would feel against his spike.
You sucked on it cautiously. Making a tremor run through is body.
He removed his thumb and brused across your plush bottom lip. No it would be too good. He would probably lose himself if you did. He trailed his servo down over your soft chest to your abdomin. Here. This is where he wanted to fill you with his transfluid.
He trailed his glossia across your skin. Nipping at your warm flesh. He wanted nothing more than to bite you right now. Instinctual need urging him to hurry and claim you.
Kissing your neck he finally let the panels shift to release his spike. Letting out a sigh in relief that tickled your neck.
Venting hard his spike pressed against your belly. Throbbing as you rolled your hips up in an attempt to grind against its length.
Panting with flushed cheeks you pouted at him. Your walls clenching painfully.
Testing to see how eager you were for him he slid his servo over your dripping opening. Coating his servo in your warm slick. "Do ya need me here?" His voice husky with the need to fuck you senseless. Digits rubbing against your bundle of nerves.
You could barely let out a whimper. Two digits carefully pushing past your opening and curling just right.
"Right there?" He rumbled leaning closer. His glossia trailing against your superheated skin.
"Yes! Right-ah! hah!" You cut off with a cry as he added a third to your needy entrance. Sucking on the spot where he would place his mark.
You felt lubricant drip on your warm belly from his straining tip. You reached your hand down to wrap your small hand around it. Giving care to pump your hand over it. Taking time to feel every bit of it. Imagining how it would feel between your legs.
Wheeljack let out a tense groan as you jerked your hand over his spike. Coating your hand in his fluids. You were making it harder to not slam it in. To make you cum hard against his needy spike.
He removed his servo from your dripping folds with a wet squelch to wrap around the hand that pleasured him.
In one quick movement he pinned both hands above your head with one servo. Using the other to grip your hip. With a roll of his hips he drug his length down your belly to rub against your soft wet folds. The ridges teasing your hypersensitive clit.
The sensation of his spike rubbing against your most sensitive area sent shocks of hot pleasure to course through your electrified nerves. Your legs trembled around him from the stimulation as little whimpers and pleas tumbled past your swollen lips. He watched you come undone under him with ravenous optics. His cooling systems kicked on high.
Lining the tip of his spike against your opening he slowly started to press it inside. You head tossed back your mouth open with a loud moan.
He sunk deeper and deeper. It was electrifying. The feeling of fullness spreading as he pushed all the way in. Fully hilting as you bottomed out. His spike being slightly thicker at the base made the burn of stretching amazing.
"Good girl." He moaned in your ear. "You're doing so well." He praised you with a deep rumble. The sensation tingling against your nipples.
You both stayed like that Venting hard. So close already to overloading.
The way you were wrapped around his spike was perfect. Everything about you in this moment was perfect. So raw. So intense.
Recapturing your lips he quickly pulled out to snap his hips against yours. Every ridge hitting all the right spots he swallowed your cries of pleasure.
He gripped your hip tighter as his servo released your hands to retangle into your hair. Pulling you closer as he began to rut into you. He needed you like he needed his very own spark to live. Charge building and building in his circuits. Begging for release.
You clawed at his back in a desperate attempt to pull your bodies even closer. Holding on for dear life as he stirred up your insides. The wet sounds mixed with your collective moans of heated passion was sinfully erotic. Just edging you further.
Your thighs clamped harder around his waist as you ground against him in time with his thrusts. The way his spike hit your wall made you see stars. You could feel the tingle in your canines.
You started to tighten around him even more. Your vents getting deeper and faster. Feeling your enlongating canines prick his glossia he released the kiss with a pop and watched as saliva stretched from your mouth to his. Burying his face in your neck he pounded harder into you. Instincts pushing him harder as your nails scratced at his back encouragingly. You both were right at the edge. So close. So so close. Your bodies so intensely hot with built up charge. You could shatter and melt in his arms.
"You're mine and mine alone." He growled before clamping his mouth on that special spot of your neck. Dentae breaking the delicate skin. Further tying yourself to him. White hot charge exploded over your systems. Blinded by pleasure as your overload crashed over you. Letting out a loud sharp cry before your sharp teeth instinctually sunk into the softer cabling of his neck.
Pleasure rocketed over his symptoms. A groan escaped his throat as you both rode the wave of your intense overloads. Bodies shuddering against each other in exertion as his spike released hot pulses of transfluid inside your throbbing channel. Trying to milk him of everything he had. You both tightly wrapped in eachothers embrace.
You both stayed interlocked. A thick knot near the base of his spike keeping himself firmly nestled inside. Not letting a single drop of your mixed fluids escape. Trying to cool your heated frames as the comfort of the bond washed over you both. He released his mouth from your neck. Licking the wound apologetically. The metallic tang lingering on his glossia.
Who knew human blood had such taste to it.
You followed suit and released your teeth. Nuzzling your face in his shoulder. The bond was finally complete. Before you knew it tears spilled over your cheeks and dripped onto his plating.
As soon as he felt those drops hitting his shoulder he tilted your chin to look up at him. Worry filled his optics as he stared down at you.
"What's wrong?!" He asked. Sobering up for a moment from the haze.
You let out a stiffled laugh. After what just happened his expressions were like night and day. "It's nothing. I'm just relieved. It's not an one sided bond anymore. I didn't even realize it until now that I was suffering all this time with a partial bond." You confessed with a sigh of relief.
His optics softened as he gazed at you. You were ok. More than ok now.
You reached and grabbed his servo. Fingers lacing with his. "We are biologically integrated." A warm smile spreading over your features. "Inexplicably linked."
He sat up and pulled you with him. careful not to hurt you since you were still tied by his knot. He held you close in his lap. resting his helm against your forehead. Sparks steadying as they synced together.
You both enjoyed the feeling of the completed bond while the sensation of his spike still pressurized inside reignited the hunger that consumed you. Such an amazing overload made you crave more. Your instincts urging you to do it again.
You tilted your head up to capture his lips again. Earning a playful growl to vibrate wheeljacks chassis.
You ground your hips against him. The sensation of his knot inside stirring up your hunger.
He gripped your hips as you rolled them against his. Enjoying the way his thick knot felt inside of you.
"I need more Jackie!" You whined. Feeling the tip of his spike press against your cervix. The desire for him to fill your womb consuming all other thoughts. You needed more. You wanted your belly round with his seed.
More. More. More.
You started to lightly bounce on his spike. The knot tugging at your entrance in such a pleasurable way.
As his knot receded you vigorously bounced on his spike. Lips locked again in heated passion.
He thrusted up in time with your movements. Intensifying the heat that pooled in your abdomin. You rode him eagerly as you both chased your nearing overloads. Chasing that sensation of instinct driven blinding pleasure.
A chorus of cries as your overloads crashed over you again you didn't have time to bask in it as wheeljack flipped you and pinned you down. You were on your knees with your chest pressed against the ground. A servo holding the back of your neck while the other held your hips in place as he continued to fuck you into submission.
You cried out and saw stars at the depth that his throbbing spike pounded into you.
Your nails digging into the ground beneath you as wheeljack mercilessly buried into your wet heat.
"Ah! Ah! Jackie! So good! More! More!" Pleasure filled cries poured out of your mouth as his hips slammed against yours.
He loved hearing your cries as he fucked you ruthlessly. Making a mess of your insides. Feeling the way they squeezed around him. Trying to suck him in further.
The way he animalisticly rutted into your hyper sensitive channel had you scream in pleasure. Another overload exploding through you with a ravenous intensity.
Your throbbing walls being that little extra push over the edge left him blinded by his overload. He leaned over you to bite the back of you neck as he pumped into you. The pulsing of your walls in sync with the trobbing of his spike. Spilling more thick hot fluids into the opening of your womb.
He stayed crouched over you still clamped on the back of your neck. Your venting the only sound echoing around the hangar.
After letting his heated frame try to cool itself. He let go of your neck to pull you next to him. Cuddling you against his chassis possessively. A servo slipping down to smooth over your rounded belly. Full of him. It stoked his pride. You were his. Your body full of his seed.
"You did so well." He rumbled in your ear. Softly murmuring prase to his little mate.
You nuzzled up against him as he continued to purr. It's soft vibrations relaxing you. You slumped against him as fatigue settled over your body.
You moved to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. Earning a purr that rumbled from his chassis. Wrapping his sturdy arms around you he adjusted carefully so that you were on top of him again. Contrastingly gentle in the way he helped you turn to press your chest against his.
He laid back with you resting on top of him. Rubbing your back as you relaxed fully. Purely enjoying eachothers company as you waited for his knot to release.
For the rest of the night you both rode out your heat. Overloading together over and over again before you both succumbed to exhaustion. It was the most pleasant dreamless sleep you both had ever gotten. Wheeljack couldn't remember the last rime he recharged so peacefully.
"Wheeljack." Ratchets voice rung in his head startling him awake.
Jolting up Wheeljack clutched you close while looking for the source of the sound. Fear coursing through his spark at the thought of an intruder. He would not let harm come to you.
"Wheeljack can you hear me?" Ratchets voice spoke again a bit more clearly.
Wheeljack now realized ratchet was comming him.
"What." He growled back. Trying to keep his voice low not to disturb you.
"Glad to see you're lucid." Ratchet spoke with a hint of sarcasm.
"Shut up." Wheeljack snapped back. Dragging a servo over his face. Why was ratchet comming him at such an hour.
"While I personally don't have an issue with it. Fowler might have trouble lending the hanger to you for personal use for the duration of (name)'s heat."
Wheeljack let out a groan. Of course. "Any suggestions then." He grumbled.
"I'll do my best to get Fowler to let you borrow that hangar this time but be prepared to possibly relocate."
"Yea yeah. Got it doc." Wheeljack grumbled again. Hoping that was the end of the conversation.
Wheeljack brushed your hair away from your neck. Staring at the marks he left. It was healing well and left a sense of pride in his spark. You were precious. The greatest gift he could've ever hoped to receive.
He was going to protect you. He vowed on his spark he would until the day he offlined.
Thankfully Fowler was able to convince the higher ups to let you stay in the hanger through the rest of the duration of your heat. It was a very awkward and uncomfortable conversation to have. On Fowlers part. After ratchet had to brief him on the situation of why you both couldn't be disturbed. Though next time you get your heat you would have to go somewhere else. But that was fine. Wheeljack preferred to be somewhere secluded. Far from others when you would have your heats. It's just that he wasn't in his right mind when he first cornered you in the hangar.
When your heat finally ended you both looked like you've been to war.
Love bites littered your neck and chest. Not to mention the ones that peppered your thighs. Wheeljack couldn't hide the scratches and a few bites on his shoulders and arms you made in the throes of passion. There was no point in hiding them. So he decided to wear them with pride. Like little badges of honor.
The other bots tried not to stare. Acting oblivious to what went on while you both were away.
It was when you were sitting up on the couch with two of the three kids when miko couldn't help herself.
"Wow. You look beat up! What happened?"
Your faced warmed. "Oh. Uh not much." You lied. Earning wheeljack to raise a brow with a knowing smirk.
Miko eyed you both suspiciously. "Something is going on." She stated with her hands on her hips.
You laughed nervously as she stared at the bite on your neck. "Tell me!" She demanded impatiently.
You glanced awkwardly at wheeljack while his optics glittered down at you with mischief. Guess you weren't getting any help from him. Whatever.
"I would actually like to know too." Raf shyly interjected as he peered over his laptop at you three.
"We were out and bonded with eachother." You told them. Hoping that would be a good enough explanation.
By the way miko stared at you. You knew it wasn't good enough for her.
"Then why are you beat up?" She asked deadpanned.
"Because...." you trailed off at a loss of words.
"Crazy things can happen while bonding." Wheeljack interjected. He had his fun watching his little mate squirm. Leaning closely he pointed to your neck. Letting miko and raf get a closer look at his neck and shoulder.
"It's so others know that we're bonded." He informed the teens.
Mikos eyes lit up in understanding. "Ohhh I get it."
"I still don't know why it has to look so painful." Raf stated thoughtfully. The boy genius examining you and wheeljack closely.
"That's just the nature of it." Wheeljack shrugged.
"Is it always like that?" The poor young boy seemed concerned.
"For the most part." Wheeljack stated nonchalant. "Not as painful as you might think."
"It wasn't?" Miko asked incredulously while looking closer at the bite on your shoulder and neck.
"I didn't really notice it so much." You stated slightly leaning away from her probing gaze.
"I'll tell you later." You placated the teen. You knew she was in biology class and was learning about reproduction. But Raf was still a bit too young. You wouldn't get into detail but would give a better explanation. It's not like miko hasn't read supernatural shifter romance novels before.
"I'll hold you to it!" Miko grinned at you.
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safetycar-restart · 1 year
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Ive been thinking about this for so long but dont know how down you are for semi angst, more like hurt/comfort headcanons... what are the boys apology styles like, say they say something they dont mean, i think of little charles just immediately bursting into tears as soon as he realizes what he saud, i see him as always sort of on the precipice to being little so i inagine when hes overwhelmed and he upsets mommy it just gets so much worse 😭
Little max on the flip side i see not being willing to admit what he did, i almost think of him as someone who just walks away, feelsbad and tries to silently make it up to you.i see his dom/mommy making him hold himself accountable though. I think it would honestly be a trauma response to his dad where he would just try to not stir the pot and move on, he also probably learned it from him cause i dont see that man apologizing... basically just like unlearning those behaviours so they can be healthy and happy together.
Id live to hear your thoughts on anyone else. i just dont have as certain feelings about the others in my head as these two ... exceot fir lando, hes a brat that takes ot too far repeatedly and then is a crybaby qbout it
I don’t know if it’s different people asking this style of question with littles or the same person but either way, I would die for you all of you I love this type of thing so much.
CHARLES:
All Charles wants, whether little or big, is to make his mommy happy, that's it. He tries so hard, but when he's little he's just so small and so vulnerable and there are so many things he can't do. He gets so overwhelmed very quickly, and it can lead to a meltdown very easily because the poor thing just doesn't know what to do.
He doesn't mean to be rude to his mommy, but everything is loud and scary and he doesn't know what to do and the next thing he knows, he's pushing you and away and yelling at you to stay away and curling in on himself. He doesn't mean it, he just doesn't know what to do or how to cope.
The actual meltdown doesn't matter the moment he's realised what he's done. Then he's having a whole other meltdown, crying his little heart out and begging for forgiveness, promising that he can be good boy, that he will be a good boy.
Of course you just hold him close and comfort him, promising him that you know he didnt mean it and was just overwhelmed. He sticks to your side for the rest of the day, like he's scared you might actually leave him if he can't see you at all times.
GEORGE:
I know you didnt mention George, but I want to talk about him because I think he would actually only apologise once he's in his adult headspace again?
He's so small when he regresses, mostly too small to even speak properly and far too small to realise that he might have hurt you with something. He can be quite fussy sometimes, especially when he's overtired and he just cant settle. He doesn't realise he's being difficult, and he really doesn't mean to, but he's just too small and can't express himself properly.
You two always get there in the end. And within an hour or two he's cuddled up in you arms, napping or listening to a story and being your sweet little boy.
But once he's back to his adult headspace, he'll remember how fussy he was and how much more work than usual he was and he'll come to you with his tail between his legs and apologise. Every single time he tells you that he understands if you don't want to be his caregiver anymore, which is absolutely ridiculous because that will never happen.
He'll often bring you flowers or chocolates or a book to say thank you for dealing with him, and he just loves you so so much.
MAX:
I definitely agree that Max really struggles to work through whatever he's done wrong. And yeah, it's absolutely a trauma response from his childhood. When max was younger, the only option when he made a mistake was punishment. That's it. There was no talking it through, no trying to understand or making it better. It was just instant punishment and being screamed it.
Because of this, max learned to hide whenever he had done something wrong because he didnt want to be punished like that. He would just try and make up for it in some other way.
Of course this usually fails because he cant properly take care of whatever has happened on his own. He's too small to clean up the milk he spilt or fix the picture he ripped or wash his dirty clothes. He needs you to do those things for him.
You can always tell when max has done something wrong or made a mistake, because he'll hide from you. Usually, max always wants to be with you. Not necessarily on top of you or even next to you, but he always wants to be able to see you and know you're close by. So if more than a few minutes have gone by with Maxie in a different room... then you know something has happened.
The first few times, max just starts sobbing instantly, so bad that you actually worry he might make himself sick. And it's over something that honestly doesn't warrant that reaction? He spilled some milk and now he's sobbing on the floor.
However, unlike Charles, you can't just clean up and comfort max, because he'll continue to feel bad and guilty and not let himself enjoy his time with you because he doesn't think he deserves it.
I think natural consequences would be best for max? He split his milk, so he doesn't get anymore milk. He had an accident, so he must help you clean up and then be in diapers, etc. You always talk it through with him very nicely and very slowly, praising him for being so good about it and helping him work through it all.
You're so proud of him the day he comes to you and tells you that he knocked over his sippy cup and now there is juice all over the floor, because he finally understood that he wouldn't be punished the way he was when he was younger.
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edai-crplpnk · 1 year
Note
Hey hey! So i havent fully read ur fics (its on my to read list but uh..... Im really bad at actually reading stuff on there djdndn one day i shall read ur entire fic list) but ive liked what ive seen so far so ur really high on my to read list and i saw u post the new chapter for the smell of the rain and i didnt see it was a multip chap at first so i just started reading it sjsjsjdj and this line specifically took me out so bad that i couldnt finish the chapter the day i started reading it bc i just kept laughing every time i went back to read it.
"he had always thought of himself as the kind of person to be able to make rational down-to-earth decisions no matter what – which was a delusion already, Kankurou’s memories of his first exchange with Shino are definitely infused with a lot of acting on impulse and out of spite –" like this is just fucking gold its so hilarious hello? Anyway. This has made me eant to read all ur works like right this second so expect a lot of kudos ig?? Idk what the point of this was i just wanted to let u know how much that line made my day and it felt awkward leaving it as a comment when i actually hadnt fully read the series. Hdjdjdd so ye. But im loving what ive read so far! The way u characterise is really fun! Hope u have a good day/night ty for sharing ur writing with us!
No judgement, I am bad at getting myself to read things too haha
I just love the idea of Shino being like- this guy that really imagines that he is calm and not emotional and not the type to make decisions on impulse and everything (not like a certain somebody) (kiba) when he is truly easily overwhelmed by emotions and generally not great at dealing with them.
And it doesn't help that a lot of people do see him like that too. He's the nerd with the monotonous voice that you can always go to to ask a question and is always available and will answer even you don't listen to him 9 times out of 10. He serves that role both within the konoha 13 and within team 8 between Kiba's impulsivity and Hinata's shyness/emotional sensibility. He's meant to be the down-to-earth guy and he's not.
He repeatedly gets angry and frustrated in the canon but it's barely ever listened to because he's not good at expressing it in a way that sounds serious enough. And also I think he's not great at handling irrational and unanticipatable things, like his own emotions. He needs to be able to rationalise and makes sense of things and have explanations and justifications. And on the one hand, it does help because he spends a lot of time thinking his choices through and explaining them, but on the other, when he is faced with an emotion that is too strong or unexpected to be able to be channeled through reason, he as absolutely no tools to deal with it and he's just overwhlmed.
In conclusion, yes, I think he's the type of guy to make implulsive and maybe misinformed decisions because he's horny and he has a crush and the whole time he is internally staring at himself thinking "god why the fuck am I doing this???" lmao
Coincidentally, for the "why is Shino a teacher in Boruto where did that come from" crowd (I'm not judging, I get it), I think this why he's both good and bad with children. He's good at containing people and providing a cohesive and explained framework, justifying rules and letting space for them to be debated reasonably so that things make sense, and I think that's valuable for a lot of kids who often get assigned random rules and you have to follow them because that's what rules are for and adults decide. But also, children have many emotions often, they can be chaotic, especially a group of them, and, once again, when being consistent and fair and justifying himself does not suffice to make this manageable, he is probably quite quickly out of other options.
Anyway, I love him!
Please enjoy my 135k words of KankuShino as you please, I hope you'll have fun!
(another time maybe o can write about how, coincidentally, makes him both very similar and the opposite to Kankurou haha)
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leonleonhart · 11 months
Note
how have you been enjoying FF16 so far?
(i'll try to be as vague and spoiler free as much as possible out of respect)
its honestly in my top favorite final fantasy games (maybe games ever) when i really thought it wouldnt appeal to me. its an honest to god ff game and gives me the same feeling of world exploration that, let's say, ff9 does for me. tho it took me forever to catch on to wade's name lol, feels natural in the setting
the active time lore is there just in case you get overwhelmed by the, admittedly, numerous cutscenes and the names they throw around. (i personally dont use it cuz i forget its there half the time. the detrimental effect of playing while hitting the bong)
the character writing is excellent too, you understnd motivations clearly even when you know its something that you definitely dont want to happen you kinda actually want it to happen because of how much it makes sense
i think its very easy to be endeared to a characters quirks almost immediately (if i see any Mid hate i'll riot) i dont think i've interacted with a quest npc that even if i cant remember their name i can remember what they were like. the hideaway completely accomplishes what (in my opinion) skyhold is supposed to feel like in dragon age inquisition.
like you kill this one character and you know theres the looming threat of that coming back to bite you in the ass the moment it happens. and there was a hope for a certain something i genuinely didnt expect to become a real twist but it did and it was so worth the lead up to the reveal
clive is such a great ff protagonist. he gives off that typically broody aura around him when you see him but when you hear him talk you can feel the way his upbringing comes through. very good dialogue and very good voice acting. 100% 10/10 would watch him sobbing, naked on the floor again.
i've personally never been the biggest fan of childhood friends turned lovers trope but its done just perfectly with jill and clive that i'm cheering for them while playing now. the first scene where there was an almost kiss was heartbreaking to watch
but yeah. its a great game near perfect if official reviews are anything to go by. everything ff15 kinda wanted to be ff16 blows it out of the water. like, imagine having good world building lol
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Note
So I just went to see this guy I've been talking to for over a year now long distance. I went alone, payed for everything the hotel, and flight and all and it didn't go well at all. The guy and I have been having communication issues, I have felt that being long distance that we are he should call, face time me more but he kept telling me to go visit him and how he would not put in effort to talk to me if I was not coming or booked a flight. So I booked a flight to see him feeling pressured because he told me he wasnt ever going to see or talk to me again and that he would block me....I expressed many times how anxious I was and overwhelmed with all of this but he assured me it would be okay and that we wouldnt just hookup, we would do other things and not just drink...so when i got there he was working and told me to continue to message him so that he knew i wasnt going out and meeting other guys so I did but still had a dating app downloaded on my phone as I am keeping my options open because the situaton with him has been hard and hes not my boyfriend...anyway so while hes at work he tells me to get dressed up and ready to go out because we were going to go out for drinks and dinner. So I got all ready he came and brought the alcohol which I was confused about because I thought we were going out, he then said we were going to drink first then get dinner and i suggested sushi which we was down for so we drank the hotel tequila with a chaser and I ended up getting pretty drunk fast...All I remember after that was walking to get sushi and in the restaurant he asks me to pay and i was like ok..so then they try charging my card and it declines so then he pays but then asks if i can cash app him...the rest of the night was a blur and woke up with throw up all over the bed, he had left and I tried reaching out to him to discover I had been blocked. I was so anxious because he told me how he wouldnt leave me, how i didnt want to drink alot especially not get blacked out but did...i tried calling him from private number and he finally unblocks me and messages me and goes "listen. I blocked you because you were talking to other men, thats so dirty, you were even trying to meet someone down here, i saw the dating app, the messages, i cant trust you, you really came here to hoe out, bye for good" then blocks me...im just so hurt he not only looked though my phone when i was drunk but sent himself money for the sushi while i payed for everything to go see him and waking up naked not remembering anything....The very reason I even had a dating app and was talking to other guys is because he doesnt treat me right and so i especially dont trust him...i could have died being blacked out
Hi Love
I’m so sorry you went through that traumatic experience. What this man did was unacceptable. That was gross violation of your privacy. I hope you opened a case against him for drugging you. However, there were red flags about this man that you may have overlooked like how you had to pay for everything including the flights and hotel rooms. He even went as far as to get into your phone and send the money for the sushi. this man is nothing more than a user and is nothing short of pathetic.
I hope this experience has opened your eyes to the dangers that are out there and I hope you stay safe.
Xxx
M.
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fungal-wasted · 2 years
Note
For the OC ask game
Lufe: number 5, 10 and 25
Sinyat: 44, 21 and 16
Please :3
Ohhh the sibliiings, I haven't talked about them much here, huh? To be fair they developed a lot kind of recently and spontaneously, but before that I didnt think much of them beyond placeholders
Summary:
Lufe: Very caring, and it kinda overwhelms her when there's conflict, not very clingy though, and yeah... pretty fearful.
Sinyat: more capable than he thinks he is, not too superstitious? idk hard to tell, pretty quick-tempered, oh my god if you knew.
Lufe
5 - caring: YEAH she's super caring. She's rarely open about it, though. I mean, Sinyat knows that she supports him, but she extends this caring nature to others as well, and she also assumes good faith in other people unless proven otherwise. She thinks... she isn't a bad person for having to fight her way through life, right? It's pretty much the thing that's kept the mantis tribe standing as far as she knows. She's got a right to defend herself and those she loves... but so do others. She wishes she could deal with conflict better, and maybe she'd show this kindness more openly.
10 - clingy: Kinda neutral on that one. She doesn't strike me as someone who's clingy, but honestly if she feels validated by someone she will grow very attached to them (looking at Harsata here, oof). But overall, she isn't very clingy.
25 - fearful: YEAH A LOT. See above in the first one. Her biggest fear is that she feels like she's pretty much on her own, and she wants to do the right thing, but what is the right thing to do in a world that's so complicated? And does her opinion even matter when she lacks more experience and others don't listen?
Sinyat
44 - capable: This guy :/ I mean. Yeah he's capable. He's pretty damn smart really and he wants to show that off in whichever way he can. It kinda sucks because people around him mostly focus on his flaws, and since he's very clumsy that´s... a lot. He's clever, proactive, but just a bit too impulsive. I wanna boost his self esteem ngl
21 - superstituous: Again not sure. His tribe isn't one to pray to gods or anything of the like, so that sort of thing doesn't cross his mind. However, he's at that stage of life where he's trying to make sense of what adults expect of him and he's very confused about the mixed messages he gets from people, and lowkey thinks some people just plot against him at times.
16 - quick-tempered: YEAH WHOOPS. I mean he gets frustrated really fast, he doesn't take bullshit from other people and he's not very patient when he thinks the situation is pointless. It is easy to find him and Lufe just, arguing about everything and nothing at all. He tries to keep a calm front but he won't doubt to speak his mind. He is Very Smug whenever he wins the argument though, or whenever he gets his point across and people agree with him.
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khodorkovskaya · 1 year
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Idk what I want tbh.
Like, I feel so so much sometimes that its overwhelming and I wish that I could just not feel it or not be bothered etc
But then I've had depression before, like quote bad to the point I really didnt feel anything at all and had no motivation or anything... and I certainly do not ever want to fall back as far as a did then (I still have depression just nowhere near as bad as I did)
So I'm like?????
Where is the calmness and serenity? Where does peace lie
there is no peace but there is beauty in the chaos.
my favourite thing right now is microdosing on mass hysteria. like going to church, going to group exercise classes, hanging out with people who are like reallyyyy into certain things, etc. my homo sapiens brain really has a thing for herd mentality, like it gives me such a rush of emotions and makes me feel so alive!
i think the secret to not being depressed is to like go all out and do everything at a 100%. like obsess over a fandom, hyperfixate on some random shit, join a group and be the most motivated person in it. really let your mind and body feel those emotions to the max.
like idk if you've read my storytime on here on how i caused a divorce. but basically i have a friend called lucien who's like super manic about everything and i admire him so much for it. like he will go all out at any given occasion! tomorrow my oxford bestie is participating in this ballet performance cos she was taking ballet classes at this activity centre thing in her village. and lucien is coming and he's bringing the big red tiktok boots with him and he's gonna wear his frog hat and a tshirt with my face on it. it's gonna be so good! and every time he's so enthusiastic and hyped about everything!
and i feel like we should all be inspired by lucien to an extent. like giving it your all does wonders to your mental health. just go insane and you'll feel so much better!
but also on a more serious and sensible note, not knowing what you want is a huge struggle for me too bc i don't know what my values are yet. and that's why im often torn between things and then im like "i should just stop feeling". because im a very sensitive person, yknow, so i want so many things at once and nothing at the same time. so i really need to get my values straight. and my plan for that is to feel as many things deeply as i can, so that i know what i vibe with and what i don't vibe with. like i just want to absorb it all. and then things will be clearer i think.
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rinbowaman · 1 year
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so hee from the mgr au became like obsessed with yn at somepoint? like even when he was still with vicky right? so what was his pov ? like the moment he met her and everything that happened what when on in his mind, how did he know she was just the one.. i suppose?
idk i find his character so intriguing it would cool to hear more of his part of the story!!
if u dont mind me asking all of this ofc <3 i loved the story and the sequel is great so far!!!
First, I'm so thrilled to hear that you enjoy the story and the characters. I really enjoy writing them out, and in later chapters, whenever I get to them for re-edits, there will be more about the male MC, you'll actually start getting to know a side of him either next chapter or the one after in MRE, which i'm going to try and post today and tomorrow.
I wrote alot to give you a better breakdown on MGR/MRE heeseung below, so i hope that gives you the answer. I really enjoyed answering questions so if you have any more, feel free to reach back out.
MGR/MRE Heeseung is a little bit of a hopeless romantic. He was always a sweet, hard working, talented and a very innocent type of boy growing up. when he grew into the stages of early adulthood, and started to notice girls and explore sex, he really couldn't get into finding any sort of enjoyment unless there was a strong emotional connection, regardless if it was sudden or built over time. (if you read the MGR series, towards the later chapters, theres an internal monologue where heeseung literally opens up and you learn a whole lot about his past and personal life...its going to be in one of the 18+ chaps)
MGR/MRE Heeseung is/has always been a nice person, a very nice guy, but he's also one you do not want to piss off. So he's got a very unique, soft and kind personality but also a strong one as well. Beginning MRE series, he's tired and established that vicky is not worth the effort (she had been cheating on him with gabe just bc well..money unfortunately) He was at stage where he was highly considering breaking it off with her, just trying to be considerate on how to do it without crushing her. Or he was about to, like was just waiting for the opportune time to do it. Or maybe in between both.
Heeseung's fondness for you was developed over time. When he met you and saw your gestures of courtesy and saw how nice, genuine and original you were, that triggered him to immediately develop a fondness for you. As time went by, you guys built a bond and got to know each other, normally when he was waiting for vicky to get out of class inside your dorm (after you extended the invite ofc) he became even fonder of you.
This gave him just that last little push he needed to just break it off with vicky, and thats why he pretty much ghosted her, normally he would opt to handle things rationally and end things with at least providing closure, but he didnt do that with vicky because he was overwhelmed with thoughts of you. like he was really into you and couldn't function because he was started to develop really strong feelings after getting to know you more and more each day.
The point where he did end up becoming obsessed or infatuated with you was during the last chapter of MGR (during the very 18+ scene) where if you recall reading it, he paused and asked you a question that took you by surprise. when you gave your answer, you can tell by his response to you that you were exactly what he was looking for, and at that moment thats when he became completely enamored by you. like you are what he breathes, drinks, sleeps, and eats.
Now i dont know a whole lot about the members, i have a friend who is a part of the enha community and her bias is heeseung. when she asked me to re-edit the draft to reflect hee/read MC, i asked her to give me like a full breakdown of heeseungs personality so i could add a flare of real heesung (ie, his kindness and his enjoyment for simple things in life vibe). she informed me many things, but the one thing that stuck out that i used to really help develop the yearn for love in his MGR character, was when she told me that he really loves his mom and compliments her. when i saw videos of him talking to his mom on the phone to get a feel of their bond, i translated that side to MGR hee.
he's a man who loves his family, really loves his mom because she's an amazing kind woman with a soft voice and the way he watched how she would love and take care of his dad growing up, really enabled him to yearn for someone that was similar to her in that aspect. so in MGR/MRE series, you reflect the same type of virtues, strengths, and feminine appeal that his mom has displayed towards his dad, and it just makes him feel wholesome and nostalgic. and that is really what triggered him to like you in the first place.
Now i will close with this. MGR/MRE heeseung has kind of the Rurouni Kenshin effect. he's nice, loving, caring, and a very ethical type of person. Once he does get pissed off (and its gotta be like really bad) thats when the Battosai comes out, ya feel me? so the latest chapter, we kinda dabbed into that regarding his sexual nature (Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde) which this side of him, i just imagined up all on my own, but just a hint, one of the next chapters, it might shock you just how...whats the word i'm looking for?....contemptuous. he's creative both beautifully and terribly (if he needs to be) and the next chapter (or the one after) might shock you.
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itinere-ignoto · 2 years
Text
elephant
summary: you and daniel meet for the first time at a bar before the melbourne gp and sparks fly
pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader
warnings: language
word count: 1.2k
a/n: my covid positive test got me feeling all kind of ways and all I can say is this presented itself to me in a dream and wowee I cant stop laughing at myself hope you have as much fun reading as I had creating
title is because that song has been on repeat and the wiggles cover is just brilliant
this is gonna be some form of multi-chapter-fic because I didnt realise how little you need for one chapter lol
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You're over at the bar looking at the very extensive menu, there's an assortment of cocktails and specialty gins that have caught your eye. It's taking you a while to decide what you would like to order and you feel a presence beside you.
"Sorry, I'm going to be a while, everything looks so good." You don't even look up, still figuring out what will taste the best.
"That's really kind of you," the guy beside you responds and turns to the bartender "can I grab one Seadrift Coast and one Botanist please?" You scan the menu looking for the two gins he just ordered, interestingly one is an alcohol-free gin. You look up to ask him about it and your words get stuck in your mouth. It's none other than Daniel Ricciardo, F1 driver and certified hottie.
You know you should stop staring, it's impolite, but you've heard so much about him. He looks over to the bartender, who's still making his drinks, then back to you, seemly impatient to avoid a conversation.
"Sorry, I just meant to ask," his glance away from you enough to break you out of your own head, "what would you recommend? You had such a clear idea of what you wanted and here I am overwhelmed with choice."
Daniel looks genuinely surprised and grins wide.
"I'll let you in on my secret." He says, reaching for the two drinks that have just been placed in front of him. "I just pick the ones with the coolest names."
From there, he saunters back to the booth in the far corner of the bar, winking at you before he sits down out of your gaze.
"So, have you decided what you'll have?" The bartender pulls your eyes away from him, forcing you to make a quick decision.
"I'll have two Blue Dresses please."
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Going out for drinks with your best friend May was something you two had been looking forward to doing for ages. You've just returned from overseas and May had endured two years of the pandemic in the most locked down city in the world. You were both super excited as you'd heard lots of good things about this bar on Chapel Street that was famous for cocktails and gins. What you didn't expect was to run into actual famous people at this famous bar, let alone Daniel Ricciardo of all people.
"May, I think we've made a good decision." She looks at you and the drinks in your hands.
"Yeah, no shit you have! Look at these beauties. I cannot wait to taste."
"Seriously though, it's not just the drinks that are on fire tonight."
May looks at you, confused. "What do you mean?" she asks.
"You'll never guess who I ran into at the bar."
"Who?" She looks at you expectantly. "Hamish Blake? Jacob Elordi? Harry Styles?" Her responses getting wilder with each guess.
"Better," you say, the grin widening across your face, "Daniel Ricciardo."
"No way," May stares at you in shock "well did you at least talk to him or did you just stand there in shock fangirling?"
"Nah, you know me. Fangirling is an art perfected on the inside. I asked him about his gin recommendations." You replied, trying to make it seem like you hadn't just struggled to talk to the man in question.
"And he recommended this?" She asked gesturing to the bright blue cocktails in front of you both. You laugh before replying.
"No, he said something about picking the ones with the best names." You and May clink your glasses together and you think to yourself before taking a sip.
Cheers to Daniel Ricciardo and his drink choices.
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One cocktail turns into two, then several, and then you're back at the bar looking indecisively at the menu.
"Stuck again?" Daniel's voice cuts through the buzz in your brain.
"Yes, obviously." You sigh, exasperated. All you get in response is a laugh.
"So picking the ones with cool names didn't work out for you?" he asks, genuinely curious to see if you'd followed his advice.
"Oh no, it did! It works like a charm!." You've actually gone through all the cool sounding ones already and the struggle is whether to drink more or call it a night. "On that thought," you continue "I was thinking about what you said about picking the ones with cool names, and I'm thinking you should have mine. I'm Y/N."
"Wow Y/N," he says testing your name on his lips, "that was really smooth." You freeze at the compliment barely even realising the words that had come out of your mouth. "I'm Daniel" he pauses squinting his eyes at you a little, "but you already knew that." You flush completely, obviously the inner fangirl was not contained properly.
"Hey, look I'm sorry." You start to babble on. "I'm just here with my mate and we wanted cocktails, I swear we're not those stalker-y teenage girls that scream and carry on. You go have your night and I'll go have mine and I can go back to pretending you're not actually a real person."
"Not a real person?" He laughs at you. "That's something I'd love to unpack later, but for now just listen." You thought you were rambling before, but he seems to be ready to launch into a full essay. "We're just over a kilometre away from Albert Park race course on the Wednesday before the Melbourne Grand Prix. I'd hate to sound egocentric" he doesn't look the slightest bit shameful " but do you really think that was coincidental?"
"So you want people to gawk, stare, and attempt to be sneaky while taking photos of you?" You say, with your eyebrow raised in disbelief. Everything you've ever heard about celebrities, in particular people involved Formula 1, was that the overbearing fans can be insane most of the time.
"Yes." He sighs. "The attention can be overwhelming, but McLaren loves spoiling our fans and being in close proximity to the track makes it the best way to spot the ones that will appreciate these." He reaches into his back pocket, producing two paddock passes.
"Holy shit." You exclaim, looking at the passes then back up to his face, only to find his smug grin plastered all over it. "You know what they say about pulling a face like that," you continue, "is that people usually want to punch the smugness out of you."
"Yeah, I know." he rolls his eyes, "Max tells me something like that about once a week, but do you want them or should I go find an actual fangirl not just someone who has banter?"
"Sorry!?" you ask, your brain trying to process everything he's just said but you don't seem to be keeping up.
"Ah," he says, laughing, "the indecisiveness extends further than the drinks." You're definitely staring now, buzzed and confused and can't seem to understand any part of what is currently happening.
"Let me make the decision easier for you." He grabs your hand and places the two passes in your palm before folding your fingers over the top.
"Can't wait to see you on the weekend." He says turning to wave at someone over in the booth, seemingly unbothered by all that has just transpired.
"Um," you're frozen in shock, "thank you?"
"You're welcome!" He winks at you again and then disappears into the street with Michael in tow.
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
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loousir · 3 years
Text
[Satyr} Insecurities
Soft Male Presenting NB Satyr x Male Reader
Dakota
Warnings: Dakota get comforted by you after a sudden breakup and you end up confessing, they realized they like you too, mentions of alcohol (tho not explicitly stated other than beer), two faced boyfriend (now ex)
Masterlist
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Currently, you are on your way to third wheel for your best friend, Dakota. This guy that Dakota was dating was one that you really did not like. He was all sweet and kind around Dakota but the second they turned their back, he was a complete jerk. You knew you should tell Dakota but they just looked so happy being with this guy that you didn't want to ruin this momentary happiness.
Anyhow, both of you were walking down the street to a small yet busy pub that he had asked Dakota to meet. Dakota had asked him if you could come and he said yes but you knew he would have said no if that didn't ruin his "perfect boyfriend" image. You developed feelings for Dakota years ago, long into your friendship with him but you never confessed. You knew they didn't feel the same so you decided to just try to be the very best friend you could be.
Dakota pointed out the place you two were going and you followed them up to the front door. You opened it for them and they almost instantly spot their boyfriend, going over to him and hugging him. You smiled a sad smile and looked at the two before joining them at their table. He had sent Dakota off to get drinks for the three of you. "How have you been (R/n)?" He looks over to you with a not glare for once. "I'm breaking up with him."
Your eyes widened slightly. "What?" He nods. "Yeah I got hit pretty hard in the face with reality after the last time we met." His whole demeanor had changed from what it was before. You tried to say something but Dakota came back with a beer bottle and two glasses. They set one of the glasses down in front of you and handed the bottle to their soon to be ex who's demeanor went back to perfect boyfriend mode.
You smiled at Dakotas smile before taking a drink of what they got you. "Ah, (R/n)! Did you see the new episode yesterday? It was so good!" Dakota said before going on to ramble about bits and pieces. (R/n) smiled and nodded, chatting about said episode with Dakota.
A few minutes had past with the three of you talking before (R/n) decided it was time to bring the bad news. "Dakota." They looked up to (R/n) who looked like he just accidentally kicked a puppy. Dakota noticed and went to grab his hands to ask what's wrong but he pulled away. You looked away out of courtesy but still listened in. "I'm sorry Dakota. I dont think we can be together anymore. Its really me, not you. You've been nothing but good to me and I want you to be happy but it can't be with me."
"Maybe we'll see each other around. Don't worry about paying for drinks, I'll cover it on the way out." He said standing up to leave. Dakota couldn't seem to process what what happening as they watched their now ex-boyfriend walk away. "Kota, let's go." You said standing and grabbing their hand.
They didn't move but instead started to shake slightly. "Dakota, please." You pulled them up and practically dragged them out of the pub and stopped when you were a block away from it. Dakota hadn't said a word but held on tightly to your hand. "Do you wanna go back to your house?" You asked, looking to them. They nodded softly, more hair moving to cover their usually covered eyes.
You squeezed their hand gently as the two of you walked back to Dakotas place. It wasn't too far from the pub so neither of you saw the point in taking the car. After a few minutes of walking, Dakota stopped, making you look back. "Im... S-so sorry... I... I cant..." They tried to say something but ended up almost collapsing, legs shaking like crazy. You caught them before they could and opted to carry them the rest of the way.
Dakota holds onto you and cries into your neck. You gently rub the back of their head and whisper reassuring words into their ears. After a few more minutes of walking, you make it to the house and carefully unlock the door and close it behind you before taking them upstairs to their bedroom. "I'll go grab some water. I'll be right back ok?"
You head back down stairs, lost in thought as you grabbed water from the fridge before heading back up. You didn't expect to see what you did though.
Your body stood ridgid with shock. Standing in front of you, staring back with wild and afraid eyes was your best friend of 5 years. They looked like they were wearing pants but they weren't. Their legs were covered in dark brown fur, same colour as their hair. Your eyes followed the soft digitigrade shape down to the cloven hooves in place of feet. A small tail to match laid tight against their body.
"Dakota..?"
You breathed out hesitantly. They seemed to snap out of whatever trance they were in for a moment and they started to shake. "Hey... Hey whats wrong?" You asked as you very slowly approached them, as if the wrong step could send them sprinting away. They didn't say a word and you eventually got to their side. You very carefully grabbed their hand but they pulled it away faster than you could blink.
They looked at you with such fear that you could barely even tell if it was your sweet Dakota anymore. A tense moment passed as you had seen his eyes for the first time. You gently took their hand again and pressed their palm against your chest. They could feel your heart pounding, theirs was probably just as fast. You and Dakota had this thing where if one of you were panicking, the other would place a hand on the heart of the one whos panicking. It usually ended with a hug but it was really just a comfort thing that Dakota had started with you when they had a panic attack in public. Once they had seemed to realized, some lever must have flipped as they pulled you into a tight hug.
"(Y/n)..."
You hugged them back, gently placing a hand on the back of their head to keep them close. A silent minute had past before you felt your shoulder getting wet again. "I'm so sorry." It was barely a whisper but you heard it. Neither of you said a word after that. Dakota pulled their head out from the crook of your neck and rested their forehead against your chest.
"I didn't want you to find out like this..." Their voice was small as they spoke, hands gripping tightly to the back of your shirt. You carefully set a hand on their cheek, coaxing them to look up to you. Their eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying. The bright green, almost yellow irises stood out against their pink-ish scleras. "Your eyes are so beautiful." You mumbled out without thinking.
Dakota blushed and looked away. "I know you probably don't wanna talk so let's sit down and I'll go first." You lead them over to the bed and both of you sat down. "Judging by your reaction you didn't want me knowing about the whole... Lower half thing." You paused to look at Dakota who nodded. "Sorry." You said, still processing everything. Dakota shook their head. "N-no... I..."
"I don't know what to say..." Dakota said with a heavy sigh. "It's ok. You don't have to say anything-" They cut you off before you could continue. "(Y/n) I've lied to you for 5 years about it! Of course I have to say something!" You looked away from them and sighed. "I would be lying if I said it didn't upset me that you never told me what you were." Without hesitation, you grabbed Dakotas hand again, staring at it as they let you intertwine your fingers. "But I always had a feeling you weren't exactly human anyways... Of course I wanted to know but I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable around me."
Dakota looked to your eyes, tears welling up in theirs again. You could see that they wanted to apologize for not saying anything but you just shook your head. "Kota, I could care less that your a Satyr. If anything I like you even more." You mumbled the last part but they still heard it anyway, signaled by the blush that rose to their cheeks yet again. Dakota placed their free hand on your cheek and made you look back to them.
"I love you so fucking much Kota. You don't even know. I'm sorry. This is probably a lot on top of me finding out about probably your biggest secret and the... Y'know." Dakota shook their head. "Its all been so overwhelming. I'm honestly surprised I haven't passed out yet." You let a small huff of a laugh pass as they pulled your face closer to theirs. "You seemed to have calmed down a lot." You mumbled out.
Dakota nodded. "Yeah. I guess I'm... Relieved... I've known you long enough that I know you when you aren't feigning truths." They pause for a moment. You took this moment to observe their tear stained face. "(Y/n). I dont ever want you to leave me." Their voice had been shaky since you found out about them being a Satyr but it was even worse when they said that. "I couldn't truly live if you weren't in my life Kota."
They looked at you with wide eyes. "Sorry, said something weird didnt-" You were cut off by a pair of soft lips against yours. You carefully kissed back, tangling your hand in their soft, fuffy hair. The second both of you pulled away, Dakota smiled and pulled you into a tight hug. "Kota-" "I think him breaking up with me was the best decision ever." You furrowed your brows, really confused.
"What? Why? I though you two were happy together." Dakota nodded. "I was happy. But I also saw how unhappy you were. A-and it made me realize... Just how much I wanted to make you happy because you make me happy." You couldn't say anything but just looked at them with surprise. "Can I... Can I kiss you?" You asked quietly. Dakota laughed and nodded, pulling you into a kiss.
Your hands decided to test the waters a bit and you gently ran a hand through the soft fur that coat their leg. They shivered and gripped onto your shirt, leaning into the kiss more. You pulled away and let your hand linger on their thigh. "Did... Did you really mean it when you said that you liked me more knowing I was a Satyr?" You blushed and laughed awkwardly while looking away. "Yeah... I didn't realize I said that out loud."
Dakota let out a gentle laugh and pulled you into a tight hug. "Let's take a nap, I'm tired after crying so much..." You nodded and kissed their neck softly as the two of you laid down.
"Please stay by my side."
I originally started this one shot at the paragraph that starts at "Your body stood ridgid with shock." so sorry if everything above it seemed weird-
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1890
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safetycar-restart · 1 year
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Okay now that I have notifications again (thx tumblr) I’m back. And with sb!Mick.
You’ve been really busy at work, and Mick has been doing his own things, making sure everything is as it should be, but neither of you have really had time to spend the time that you want together. So, you basically end up scheduling an all-day meeting one day and arrange to work from home. Mick knows about this and thinks it���s an actual meeting but you surprise him with a lovely breakfast in bed and cuddles when he wakes up.
Mick is so genuinely surprised and touched by this that it’s almost overwhelming and he tears up, but he lets you pamper him all day and neither of you wear many clothes for the duration of your ‘meeting’. You end the day watching your show together, and Mick falls asleep on your thigh.
I am so happy to see you in my askbox again!! And I think that the sugar baby au is criminally underappreciated, especially soft thoughts in that au, so this is just amazing.
Firstly, I think Mick is a pretty high needs sugar baby? In the sense that he really needs constant reassurance that you actually enjoy being with him and buying him things and letting him stay at home while you work.
If you leave him for too long, he'll get caught up in his own head and think he's not good enough and just be so sad.
Most sugar babies are happy to have a few days to themselves, but not Mick. Mick wants to be with you every single day, because he's your sugar baby! He needs the attention and affection far more than he needs the gifts and money. He'll get all sad and pouty if you don't have enough time for him, and no amount of expensive gifts can make him smile again, only being with you can do that.
This time, you had already warned Mick that you would be having a very busy two weeks where you'd be working very long hours and overtime on the weekends and you probably wouldn't have time for him. You felt so bad, but it couldnt be avoided.
Mick, because he's just the best, tries so hard not to show how sad and lonely he is, because he understands that you didnt choose this and he can see how stressed you are. He would never want to make you even more stressed by showing you how lonely he's feeling.
He still does all his day to day things, still cleans the apartment and takes the dogs for jogs and goes out with friends. He needs to keep up appearances so that you don't get too worried about him, but of course you can see right through him.
You can tell just how lonely and sad he is, and it breaks your heart, but luckily you had expected this. That's why halfway through the second week, you took a day of work. You booked the day in your shared calendar with Mick as a meeting the whole day so that he would have no idea.
When Mick saw that you had one very long meeting, he got even sadder! Usually you'll text him between meetings, just a quick message to let him know you're thinking of him and love him and he looks forward to those messages so so much. He thought that if you were in such a long meeting, you probably wouldn't get any time to message him and that just breaks his little heart.
So on the Wednesday, he wakes up in a very bad mood because you aren't in bed so he thinks he's somehow slept through your alarm and you're already at work. Which means he thinks he didn't even get a kiss goodbye!
The poor thing is nearly in tears when you suddenly appear in the bedroom, carrying a tray of breakfast with a flower. At first he's confused, asking why you aren't at the meeting.
When you explain to him that there is no meeting, but that you felt you hadnt been giving him enough attention since you've been so busy so you took a personal day to spend with him, then he really starts crying. How could he have gotten this lucky?? He has no idea.
You hand feed him breakfast in bed between kisses, and of course you can't resist and simply have to give him a handjob too. Being so busy meant that mick hadnt been getting the sexual attention he was used to either and the poor thing was so worked up! He's so so sensitive and in just a few strokes, he was spilling all over your hand and shaking again, mumbling thanks over and over again until you bring your hand up for him to lick clean.
The whole day is spent like that, cuddling and talking and fucking, just making sure that your sweet sugar baby is getting all the attention he needs.
Mick, meanwhile, is in heaven. This is exactly what he needed without even knowing. He just lets you pamper and play with him the whole day, allowing his body to just be a plaything for you, which is exactly how he likes it.
You take the dogs on their walks together, stopping at a little cafe for coffee and sharing a treat before walking home again. Mick is all smiles, so so happy that he got to spend the entire day with you like this.
Maybe after that, you start letting Mick come with you more? If you're working from home, then he's allowed to come sit with you while you work, and if you're just in your office not doing meetings then he's allowed to sit on the couch. He just needs to be with you and then he's happy.
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wizkiddx · 3 years
Note
I lovelovelovelove ur writing. Was thinking if u could do one where readers relationship w tom exposed bcos someone recognises her but she isnt famous? And its all backwards and caught out sort of thing
thanks for being so kind! also I feel like me narrator-y voice has gone WAY too far, what do u guys think? I won't be offended promise I just think it sounds so fucking annoying rn
Tom Holland x reader
summary: you run into possibly the most infuriating family members the one time u and ur boy are showing PDA
warnings = none I think :)
///////////////////////
It was a late late evening, on the last train of the night towards manchester, the British countryside plunged into darkness that appeared as a blank, black canvas out the rounded-rectangular windows. 
And although the serene surroundings were calming, the regular and rhythmic movement of the carriage on the tracks - you were more on edge. Your relationship with Tom had yet to be revealed to the world - though you’d travelled as part of his extended entourage before under the guise of a ‘family friend’. So now it just being you, Tom, Harry, Andrew and Rachel - you felt more exposed. Of course, you were incredibly grateful that Tom had planned this weekend away for the two of you (after a work commitment, hence the presence of his manger, makeup artist and Harry). But it was scary.
Coming out of Euston station, the earlier time meant the train had been more of a hive of activity. Kids running up and down the aisle, inevitably recognising Tom and then asking for a photo. Enough that you’d had to move a few seats down the carriage, so no one would associate you travelling with the a-lister. 
But after you’d past Birmingham and the clocks past eleven pm, everything had quietened down and Tom convinced you to come and sit next to him on the table of four.  Andrew and Rachel were taking use of their little duo seat across for you to catch up on some well needed beauty sleep. They’d all been working with Tom doing promo for his most recent movie in London so it’d been pretty 24/7.
That left you, with all the energy, contrasting greatly with the two flagging Holland boys. 
“Lets play heads up!” You announced to the much less enthusiastic faces round the tables. 
“You can’t play that quietly and the whole carriage dont want to listen to you screeching.” Harry rolled his eyes whilst slightly ripping into you, then picking up his phone - thinking that would shut you up.
“I can play quietly!” You huffed, looking for Tom for backing… which never came. He didn’t even need to try and defend himself before you whacked his chest in false-annoyance. 
“ It’s not a bad thing, just passion.” Tom murmured, desperately attempting to sweet talk your round - which of course, was not going to happen. 
“No way! I’ll prove it to you!” 
“Nonono darling, look I’m tired.” He straight refused, wrappings his arms round your shoulders to try and cage you in. He ended up with his back pressed against the window and your back against his chest. “Lemme just relax with my best girl.”  You huffed in reply, worming round in his clutch before eventually giving up and relaxing your head onto his collar bone. For the reasons previously mentioned, you did not for a second believe he was serious with this PDA. Just sitting next to each other was risky enough,  now he was very clearly hugging you in a public place. Arching your neck back, you were shocked he already had his eyes shut - looking perfectly contented and relaxed. 
“T, are you serious?” You whispered, making him crack one eye open with a questioning look. Instantly he knew what you meant, I mean, it was him that was most worried about people finding out about you - for your sake. His horror stories of previous relationships hadn’t helped, to the point now only your mum dad and siblings knew about your relationship to Tom - mainly for the sole reason your nan was the biggest gossip in the world and could NOT be trusted. 
“Course love, it’ll be fine no ones around and I got my cap on. No one will notice us.”
Foolproof. Or so you both thought. 
And honestly for an hour or so you relished in the fact that in a public space, your boyfriend was showing you physical affection. It was exciting, which meant as Tom’s arms grew lax round you as he slumped slightly in the chair your energy only increased. No one else was being any use either - Harry had his head in his arms on the table and similarly neither Rachel nor Andrew were conscious enough to keep you company. Finally you settled on playing a game on your phone whilst also ever so softly wiggling round on Tom’s chest, purely because you enjoyed the little huffs and the way he’d squeeze you tighter as he snoozed. 
You were engrossed in shitty little iPhone game when a person who was walking down the aisle slowed down, drawing your attention away from the phone. And then your heart literally dropped because you instantly recognised your uncle and cousin, who was 12. Worse though, they had most definitely clocked you. 
Of all people, your uncle and boy cousin too. Possible the best (or worst depending on your point of view) at winding you up, at messing  with you, for genuinely causing all chaos and mischief with you. They were most certainly not going to be discrete. They’d rib you till your dying day. 
“Y/n?” Your uncle spoke first, noticing the that the group you with all seemed to be asleep, so at least trying to be a bit sensitive. Not that it mattered on Tom’s part though, you instantly bolted up and away from him, making him groan as he slowly woke up. 
“Er yeh, I-um  fancy seeing you guys here. Why were you in London?” Because yes half your family did live in manchester - a fact you felt slightly guilty about, considering you couldn’t fit in a quick and explainable reason as to  why you were in that area of the UK during a ‘pop in’. So you’d chosen to keep the whole trip a secret too.
“We’ve been at the footie, could ask you the same question.” Your uncle smirked, noticing toward Tom, who now was blinking his eyes heavily - looking with furrowed brows between the two of you. 
Because yes, the cap had been great to stop people recognising Tom. Neither of you were to expect it’d be you that’d be YOU stopped by someone who noticed you. 
“Oh um… well er this is my friend Tom, he’s got a work thing in manchester so thought I’d tag along. What was the score?” Yes you described your boyfriend of 9 months as a friend, when it was clear to everyone you were more than that. Though frankly, you still felt sick introducing him as ‘boyfriend’ - that itself was cringe as hell. The reference to football was an in-vain attempt to distract them with the most-boring-sport-in-the-world talk. If only Tom had kept his mouth shut. 
“Sorry mate” His voice was a little hoarse, making him force a cough before stretching his hand out. “I’m Tom”
“Nice to meet you, I’m Ritchie and this is Matt” Your uncle motioned to his twelve year old son who was smiling politely but his expression seemed to drop as he made eye contact with Tom. Blissfully unaware, Tom shook Ritchies hand your a soft smile. 
“How do you guys-“
“I’m her uncle. Tell you what, didn’t imagine bumping into my niece on the 11:30 train to manchester.” 
Tom’s face fell and he froze. You’d both been caught out. Massively. It couldn’t get worse, till it did. 
“Y/n is that Spiderman?” Because yes, Matt was prime Marvel fanboy age. And yes, of course his favourite hero was Spiderman. And yes, this would probably be the most exciting day of his life. And the most embarrassing of yours. 
It was at this point Harry was sufficiently disturbed, enough to make him sit upright whilst also backing away into the corner of the booth, watching from afar.
“I-uh” You didnt really want to say it, for the sake of that meant he was revealing this secret you’d guarded with your life. But at the same time, you had this overwhelming sense of pride for Tom because “yeh, yes he is spiderman.” Matt started jumping up and down like an overexcited boyband fan which made you laugh, heart swelling as Tom chuckled along beside you.
Yes by no means was this ideal. And yes you were now forced to tell your family (so ultimately the world) about your relationship. Maybe that wasn’t so bad though?
hope u enjoyed + thank you for reading <333
tagging: @hollandfanficlove @hallecarey1
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angelicmichael · 3 years
Note
hi! could i request some dad!jim finding out you’re pregnant (but it’s very unplanned and you both are like very young adults who are definitely not ready for something like this) but he’s very excited nonetheless? thanks! <333
A/N: hello!! Thank u for requesting this 🥺💖 hope u like it!! I tried to make it pretty fluffy but ofc theres a little angst hehe. This is basically already a given but just in case - Jim is 18+ in this.
Warnings: angst revolving around being pregnant and just.. general mentions of everything that has to do w being pregnant LOL, bit of Jim being insecure for 2 like seconds, lots of fluff
As much as you would like to claim that it was a typical Friday night; to your absolute dismay you found it was proving to be quite the opposite. Instead of enjoying the night and going out with your boyfriend like you had previously planned to do - you were curled up on your bed.. in tears.
You told yourself earlier today that by now you would've pulled your shit together; atleast enough to go see Jim at the bowling alley like you had planned but.. of course, that didn't happen. Things never seemed to go according to plan as of lately.
You currently stayed buried under far too many blankets on your bed.. not bothering to watch TV or go on your phone (going on your phone would only force you to see all of the missed messages and calls you had gotten from Jim) so - you settled on listening to the stormy weather outside your window instead. Rain battering against your glass window helped distract you from your current unwanted, rational thoughts but.. it was soothing and distracting atleast. It helped you take your mind off of the problem you were currently dealing with.. which, had to do with your current state of being.
The past couple of days you had felt odd.. to say the least. At first you merely thought you were coming down with the flu; you had all of the symptoms. Like nausea, aches and pains.. but there was also some inconsistencies that started to make you question whether it was really the flu, because you didnt have a high temperature.. And thats when you conveniently missed your period.
You knew you didn't have the fucking flu.
A pregnancy test sat on your nightstand; the box it came in was discarded on the floor amongst other.. various trash. You had taken the test hours ago; and you were right about your suspicions of your illness not being the flu. The two pink lines on the pregnancy test confirmed your previous thoughts.. and that's what prompted your episode of you staying in your bed all day.
Your first instinct was to call Jim but.. you knew you couldn't do that. There was no fucking way you were ready to let him in on what was happening. You knew that you two were both completely unprepared to be parents; for multiple reasons. You were both extremely young, neither of you had super steady jobs and.. it just wasnt the right time. That's what you kept telling yourself anyway. The more you denied what was probably going to become your reality made you feel more in control and safe than how you currently felt.
However; you still were yearning to call Jim and to tell him to come over but you also didn't want to let him in on the fact that anything was wrong. He had more than enough on his plate as it was with his chaotic family (and even calling them chaotic was a nice way of putting it).. you knew that Jim didn't deserve to deal with how you were acting right now but; you were selfish. Even though you knew Jim would be better off not knowing, you still wanted nothing more than for him to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay.. even if it was a lie.
Your train of thought was suddenly interrupted once you heard the front door of your house unlock and click open. You immediately jolted up in your bed and pushed your blankets off of you. Attempting to smooth out your clothes as fast as possible; immediately knowing that it had to be Jim Mason. After all, only one person had a key to your house besides you..
You heard his footsteps start to grow gradually louder as he approached your room.
"(Y/n)?" Jim's voice was loud and high pitched as he called out to you.
It startled you a bit to hear how concerned he sounded, but you quickly bounced out of bed and flew to the door - opening it quickly just to find Jim a foot away.
"Jim," you breathed out with relief.
You rushed over to him and greeted him with a harsh hug. Completely disregarding how startled he looked, and instead relishing in how truly happy you felt he was finally here.. but you knew that the complications of him being in your room with you now also meant he would know of your situation in no time at all. You knew there was absolutely no way you could hide it now.. fuck.
You felt one of his hands rub up and down your back - loosely following the curvature of your spine in a soothing way. You let yourself exhale a few shaky breaths; letting the anxiety leave you with every exhale as you tried to fully relax - knowing damn well that Jim was probably going to ask you for a explanation soon. You hesitated before breaking free from his arms to speak.
"How did you know to come?" You asked; your words spoken quietly and delicately.
You and Jim locked eyes as he stared at you - his blue eyes were swarmed with confusion. He looked at you as if he didn't know the answer to the question you had just asked; almost like you had spoken in a different language entirely.
"W-what do you mean? Of course I came.. we had a date tonight and I got worried when you no showed. Is everything okay?" he stumbled on his words; alluding to the fact that he felt uncertain in himself.
You felt your stomach drop as you heard his words. Oh fuck, your date. You and Jim's date was something you had totally forgotten about after seeing your test results.. you instantly felt horrible. The feelings of guilt, anxiety and fear that started to creep into your system was too overwhelming and too much to handle all at once. You took a few steps back from him; partially retreating back into your room.. hoping he wasnt here to solely yell at you or make you feel even guiltier than you already felt. 
"Holy shit. I totally forgot, Jim. I'm so sorry," you admitted; your voice cracking.
You were aware of how your words sounded like a pathetic excuse but.. you were hoping that Jim knew you better than to think that lowly of you. You wanted to say more to help your case but you knew you couldn't.. how could you even explain this situation to him without fully explaining?
Jim slowly approached you, only just to brush past your shoulder and go into your room. He stood close to the center, turning around and seemingly examining the objects and state of your room whilst you continued to stay underneath the doorframe. Watching him in horror as every sense of yours heightened with fear of what he was really doing or thinking.. praying he wouldn't see the pregnancy test you left stupidly on your nightstand.
Your chest was aching now with the unbearable amount of anxiety your heart was infected with. Sweat was starting to grow on your skin; everything nearly moving in slow motion as you watched Jim move to look at your nightstand and then-
"Your room is a mess," he says with a chuckle.
He turns to make eye contact with you for a split second before going over to your bed. Pushing your blankets off to the side  before sitting on the edge, and patting a spot off to his left - urging you to join him.
A soft laugh finds it's way to your lips as you exhale with glee and relief.. but you still try your best to act casual and nonchalant for the time being. You walk over and sit next to him, a bit closer than you had originally intended too but Jim automatically wraps an arm around your shoulders. Coercing your body to melt right next into his.
"I miss our date, and act like the worst fucking girlfriend in the world and all you have to say is that my room is a mess?" you said with a laugh.
Jim is quiet at first, but the newfound silence isn't awkward. However, before you can avert your gaze somewhere else - he puts a finger under your chin so that you're forced to make eye contact with him.
"Dont ever say that about yourself when you know that's not true. I would never think something like that about you."
The pain that lived in your heart so vividly only moments before, struck once more. It was clear as day that he was hurt, but it wasnt by your actions. It was your words that did the damage instead.
"I'm sorry, I just.. I'm not feeling the most like myself right now," you tried your best to not clench your jaw as you spoke.
You figured that from this point forward you were going to have to chose your words very carefully.. but you also knew that Jim deserved the truth.
You started to get restless with anxiety, even with Jim's arm still around you (which had now dropped south to your waist). You gaze fell down to your hands.. the urge to just stand up and escape this inevitable conversation that you knew was going to happen was stronger than ever; but you knew that if you were going to be honest with Jim - you had to start now. It was now or never. Jim seemed to notice that you had more to say because he stayed silent, watching you as you sat with your mouth ajar - trying to find the right words.
"I'm not sorry for just missing the date earlier.. There's something else," you sorely admit.
You felt sick with anxiety as you felt Jim's arm pull away from you.
"Something else?" He spoke timidly.
He stood up; taking a few steps backwards away from you as his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched. You knew you would have to speak fast before anger completely took over him.
"Yes but.. it's not what you think," you stood up and walked over to him.
You took his hands into yours.. pretending to try to not notice how he slightly recoiled from your touch - his hands limp as you held them.
"I've been feeling really different lately.. I've been sick.. and i know it's not the flu or the cold, Jim."
As soon as your words left your mouth - it was almost as if Jim knew exactly what you meant. It was nearly impossible to try to not laugh at his reaction - seeing how his entire demeanor changed so fast. You felt his grip start to tighten on your hands. His blue eyes suddenly held so much emotion and pure joy in them.. His happiness was so infectious that you couldn't help but to smile too.
"Wait.. Your-"
"Yeah. I'm pregnant," you spoke with a giggle.
Jim fully smiled this time and let out a loud, full laugh.
"You're pregnant?? Why didn't you tell me?"
He let go of your hands and enveloped you into a tight hug. You wrapped your arms around him without any hesitation; so happy that he was taking this news greatly but.. you still couldn't help but to feel sort of unsettled  still about how unprepared you two truly were.
You broke away from the hug; and took a step back. Nervously holding your hands together as you spoke.
"I mean.. we're so young, Jim. I wasnt sure this was something you even wanted, or that you would be ready for."
"Is this something that you want? And I mean in regards to us. This is a big deal and this would mean that-" Jim's voice started to shake as he spoke.
You almost could feel his insecurity seeping through his words. You knew exactly what he was getting at - this meant that you two would essentially be settling down. Previously in your life; the idea of settling down so early fucking terrified you but.. with Jim, you would be willing to do anything. As long as he was by your side, you weren't scared and you knew you had no reason to be. Everything happened for a reason and after all.. maybe this was the perfect time for this to happen. You and Jim had been through so much thus far - you knew you both deserved to have some stability and to have something that was genuinely good for once. Although the exact details of how you would make it work were still murky; living out the rest of your life in domestic bliss really didn't seem like the worst option at the moment.. If anything, it was starting to look like the best.
You put one finger up to his lips to shush him - looking at his light blue eyes before muttering, "shut up and kiss me, Jim Mason. Of course I want you."
Your finger fell off from his lips; and your hands gently moved to his face. Before your lips had even met- you felt his hands at your back. Pulling you in closer.. closer.. and closer until the distance between you two had completely dissipated. Your lips moved together at first in a tortuously, agonizingly slow manner. It was soft and tender; yet needy. As much as you wanted things to escalate and pick up -  you thrived in the delicious slow burn that Jim was putting you through.
All fear and anxiety you had previously felt completely melted away and was replaced with utter euphoria. Every fiber of your being felt as if it was on fire; you felt like you were glowing. Your senses being completely occupied with Jim only made your feelings of contentment grow. The smell of Jim (a mixed combination of the ocean, bonfire and cigarette smoke), the taste of Jim (which tasted faintly of energy drinks along with a bit of saltiness that was reminiscent of the ocean) made you feel like you were in heaven.  The one and only coherent thought that ran through your mind was: Jim, Jim, Jim.
Your hands moved from his soft, burning cheeks to his hair, while you let your other hand drop down to his back near his shoulders. Your fingers ran through his hair; pulling a bit on a few random strands when you felt his teeth sink into your bottom lip gently.. You heard a groan expel from his throat in response to this; which only made you smile into the kiss - and then giggle which of course; unfortunately ended you and Jim's kissing escapade. You two didn't fully pull apart from eachother though. Jim took a step or two back but he chose to hold onto your hands.. refusing to let you completely escape his embrace.
"I would be lying if I were to say I wasnt nervous, you know," he said.
You hesitated for a second before swiftly leaning in and kissing the side of his mouth - choosing to stay a little closer in proximity this time when you parted. If it wasnt for him bringing it up - you would've completely forgot the conversation you two were having prior to the kiss. Your hand resided on the side of his face as you looked into his eyes.
"Its okay. I'm nervous too but.. were in this together. Me and you," you stated with a reassuring smile which Jim only mirrored. 
"That's all I need," Jim replied softly.
You knew in that exact moment that you had absolutely no reason to dwell or worry about the future when you had someone like Jim to rely on. Even with the future being as uncertain as it currently was; having Jim's love was really all you needed.
Jim insisted to stay over for the night; even though you tried your best to assure him you'd be fine - he didn't believe you.. and your kind of glad he didn't. You quickly realized that trying to make solid plans for the future would be for another day; for when every time you tried to speak - Jim shut you up with a kiss but you weren't complaining.. how could you, when this is what you wanted so badly? The comfort of knowing you would have Jim forever by your side was enough to let you fully relax and melt into the moment with him.. and let the future become something that you could have dreams about later.
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dakotafoster · 4 years
Text
ᴅʀᴜɴᴋ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ
ραιяιиg : katsuki bakugou x g/n reader
ɢɛռʀɛ: fluff ♡ crack humor
աօʀɖ ƈօʊռȶ : 2.1k
ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: a bit steamy
���𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪 : When your boyfriend comes home intoxicated, he shows you a side of him that is reserved for only you. ✰
This will be my first one-shot on this blog, so please any constructive criticism will be really helpful! Hope you all enjoy. ッ
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╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗
It was a chilly starry night. Japan from the balcony window had never looked so serene until now. The bright stars that dotted the dark velvet sky, giving the gloomy canvas a little bit of life--of light. It was somber yet luminous, they drew the lights of heaven and gave the citizens of below a meager taste of something so divine and sublime, a measly fragment of the beauty we long to see in ourselves and the world around it. It was magnificent.
A heavy knock interrupted your attention on the black before you, muffled whispers and giggles could be heard from the opposite side of the chestnut door. As you lifted yourself from the glass railing you took a brief gander at the clock sitting on the desk beside your TV. It read 2:43 a.m.
Wrapping a small nearby cardigan around your frame and rubbed your eyes of sleep before making a beeline toward the door, the muffled voices becoming clearer as your got closer.
“Dammit Bakugou, quit messing around and give me your keys!”
“Gotta find it in my ass first shitty hair!”
Swinging the door open your (e/c) optics landed upon a frustrated Kirishima who was wrestling a very drunk Bakugou for a silvery white ring of keys right outside your flat doorstep. Bakugou seemed to be having an absolute blast, giggling like a little school girl as he evaded Kirishima’s attempts to swipe the item from his grip, and Kiri was having none of it. They both seemed rather oblivious to your presence and persisted to look like complete idiots in the halls of the complex.
“Both of you stop it before you wake up the neighbors!”
Your harsh tone is what finally received their attention, gazing timidly at you with wide eyes frozen. In one last attempt to get a rise out of Kirishima, Bakugou swiped his palm brutally on the back of his friends head, his head flung forward rough smack and a grunt, mumbling something about Katsuki being a dick. You heaved out a sigh at the sight of your boyfriend, his face sheen with a thick layer of sweat and a radiant red flush adorned his cheeks and across his nose. His eyes still the blazing crimson you had come to adore so much puffy and irritated.
“Sorry ‘bout this (y/n)... I didn’t mean to wake ya but Bakugou has had too much to be alone right now, and I still have to take care of Kaminari so...”
Kirishima timidly began to caress the back of his spiky locks, giving you a sheepish grin and gave a quick glance at the blonde next to him who was struggling to keep himself from tumbling forward. Too exhausted to even argue, you simply waved Kirishima off and moved to grab hold of your intoxicated boyfriend. The strong aroma of what was seemingly Fireball mixed with rum made your nostrils flare in distaste, far from his usual caramel scent.
“It’s fine Kiri. Just get home safe ‘kay?”
“Yeah, have a goodnight (y/n)”
You slammed the door behind with a swing of your foot, you then proceeded to lead Katsuki into your bedroom with an arm wrapped around his bulky torso to keep him straight. He stumbled over his feet a couple times along the way there, leaning on you for support so he didn’t face plant or dive to the floorboards in any way. He was mumbling incoherently to himself, slumping against your shoulder which led to his breath brushing up against the side of your face and into your ear, the hot sensation produced a shiver down your spine. Katsuki interpreted this rather well, because he immediately attached himself to your neck and pressed soft, open-mouthed kissed to your soft spot. He knew exactly how to drive you crazy even if he couldn’t even fucking walk straight.
“I need you babygirl.”
“Not tonight ‘Suki, maybe tomorrow.”
Your eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of his searing hot lips against your pulse, his wet tongue slipping out everyone and then teasingly. You hummed softly and weakly cupped his scalding cheek to pull him from your nape, cursing whatever deity that made him so goddamn tempting.
“C’mon lets get you ready for bed hun.”
“Mmm... Babe...”
He groaned lowly as you sat him down at the foot of your bed, his large frame slouching over his knees. Crouching down you gripped his ankle and raised his seemingly massive leg into your lap, silently untying his shoes whilst feeling his vivid gaze burning holes into your skull. Placing his shoes to the side you began to fumble with his belt to get rid of his ebony jeans. Amid doing so, Katsuki had graced with a lazy smirk and casually reached his generous hands to your head, running his fingers through your (h/c) strands.
“Hell yeah, this is what I like to see baby.”
Fuck. The way the words fell from those lips made you utterly weak. Your face felt like it was on fire with how carnal his gaze was, you were sure you looked like a fish out of water with the shock and overwhelming arousment you were feeling. Nevertheless, it was short lived when Bakugou dropped onto the bed and burst into a fit of laughter and giggles just by your reaction. You couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle with a twitch of your brow, you gave a quick smack to his thigh and tiredly tugged at his jeans once he had calmed down. His endless taunting was never so apparent until now and frankly, it was debilitating and instigating all at once.
“Stay here. Please don’t try and get up, I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“Yeah.. Sure.”
He released a small giggle and his head rolled to his left shoulder, laying tired on his back upon your white duvet. You rose from your spot on the floor and exited the bedroom to get him a glass of water and some ibuprofen to somewhat relieve his hang over. You didnt think you’d return to find a very naked and very erect Katsuki laying splayed out across the bed, the remainder of his clothes discarded on the side of the bed and his arms crossed behind the back of his head, his sculpted six-pack presented to you in such a way it made you drool like a fucking dog.. And the same arrogant smirk he’d been adorning for entirety of his stay among your apartment, the same enticing glimmer in his optics.
“Oh my god Katsu! What the fuck?!”
You shrieked, averting your eyes to your feet and stumbled around to find his boxers or at least something to conceal his manhood. Bakugou cackled our in delight before he was met with his boxers on his face, picking up on a faint grumble and your feet stomping toward the nightstand next to him.
“Put on your damn boxers Bakugou! I’m too fuckin tired for this shit..” You hissed at your dopey, idiotic boyfriend as he just began to fumble with the garment and mishandle them up each leg, snickering throughout the whole process. “Okay okay... No need to yell. So much for trying to serve it to you like a Hot ‘n Ready Hotpocket.”
You’ve never laughed so hard in your damn laugh at that. He grinned at your shaking form, watching intently as you struggled to breath through each laugh and chuckle, snorts coming out every few seconds. God, you hated him and loved him simultaneously for doing this to you. You wanted to give in to his desire because Jesus the sex was with him was down right unbelievable. Man, did this hunk of a man know how to pleasure a woman and fuck was he exceptional at doing so. Although, at the same time you were tempted to knock his ass into sleep. Either way you couldn’t officially decide. After several moments you composed yourself, taking deep breaths as you made your way into your restroom. You managed to stifle a few chortles in the process of grabbing a rag and moistened it with lukewarm water from your sink, then returned thankful you hadn’t walked in on another naked Bakugou. Making your way around the king sized mattress you were pleased to find he had already taken the ibuprofen and the water both absent.
“Let me clean your face baby. It’s all sweaty and sticky.”
You mumbled out drowsily, sitting down beside Katsuki and tilting his chin up to face you and nimbly wipe his face clean. You looked up at him to make sure we wasn’t falling asleep and you froze, your heart erupted at the sight you were provided with. Katsuki’s face was free of his usual scowl, instead his eyebrows were relaxed, tilted upward and his lips in a small, soft smile. Those dazzling vermilion eyes staring into you, glistening with so much adoration and passion for you. You choked, mesmerized with how calm and serene he looked. The next words to tumble from his lips could’ve sent you melting onto the floor like wax.
“I am really really... Really in love with you (y/n).”
You believed every single word. You never even questioned it for a second in that moment. Really because you had no reason to discredit his love for you, he was a genuine man with a sharp and palpable tongue 24/7. You both were aware of that, and you didn’t complain. It was nice to have him so honest with you, and yes sometimes he wasn’t always nice with the way he expressed such honesty you had grown accustomed to it. Which is why you had been so shocked to see the brash and usually loud brute suddenly become so hushed and tender.
“I mean it princess. I love you so fuckin’ much. I know I don’t really show you how much I do like normal shitty couples, and i’m really fucking sorry for that but I love you with everything I got babe.. I know how much I can be a pain in the ass sometimes.. But.. I promise I’ll never stop lovin’ you, and I’ll show you every damn day just to fucking prove it. M’kay? Your fucking stuck with me until you’re too damn old to even try and fight me on it. I’m so happy I met you and I’m terrified at the same, ‘cause fuck babe I never knew I wanted love until now, until you. I never saw the fuckin’ point. So please jus.. Fuckin’ stay and be in love with me too.”
He refused to give you a chance to reply before he gingerly took your face into his hands and brought his lips to yours. The world fell away as you felt his soft, chapped lips against your own. The kiss with just as delicate as his words and touch, moving smoothly and overwhelming emotion. You immediately raised your hands to weave together behind his neck, pulling him in gently to deepen the kiss. In response to this, Katsuki rolled his tongue across your bottom lip in a silent request for an entrance. You whimpered, opening your mouth as his tongue began to explore your wet cavern, faintly tasting the alcoholic beverages from just hours before. His thumbs swiping tenderly across your cheekbones and your fingertips tangled themselves around his strong neck.
It wasn’t rushed or rough in any way, not like the many nights were he would intend on fucking you senseless, this is when he would truly let himself be vulnerable. Moments like these when he was so damn soft and loving toward you, and only you.
The kiss lasted for what felt like only a minute when in reality lasted 15 minutes. He left you seeking for more. Heaving for breath at the mere intensity of the make-out, resting his forehead against yours, noses brushing against each other gently. You both stayed like that for a moment, just basking in each other’s loving glow with stupid grins across your lips. You took your time taking in this hidden side of your boyfriend, loving each second of it while you still could before he would return to his sullen self. You reveled in every moment you lost yourself in his soft caress, were it was nobody but the two of you acting almost as one. In which you could feel close to him away from intercourse and instead with sensual kisses and grazes. Nonetheless, he was certainly the half that made you whole.
“I’m in love with you too Katsu’.”
╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝
Thank you so much for reading! Request are open, and feel free to leave feedback or ask any questions! ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔ
- 𝖑𝖎𝖟 ☾ ✩
𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 : (𝟔/𝟐𝟏/𝟐𝟎 - 𝟏:𝟓𝟓 𝐚.𝐦.)
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hysokaz · 3 years
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why did hisoka not kill gon in zevil island?
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he wanted to see gon grow. he even said so himself, he wants to see gon grow into an opponent worth killing. but we all know that.
he wants to see gon grow stronger so that he will reach a level where he feels he can fight him and get a good match out of it. but thats a boring answer. i think that hisoka didnt kill gon in zevil island, despite the fact that gon was down and paralyzed, because he respected gon in that moment.
hisoka doesnt really have "respect" for a lot of people. or things. i think his respect can go hand in hand with if he wants to fight someone or not. does hisoka mind killing, or fighting? of course not, but theres a difference between him not minding and him WANTING to kill/fight. you have to impress him or at least do something that makes him reasonably think that youre "worthy" of fighting him. some people he respects include illumi, chrollo, machi, etc. anyone who he would REALLY like to fight some day. i dont think he respected gon in the beginning of the exams; i think he thought it would be fun to fight gon, but i dont think he thought it would be any time soon that the urge to fight him would pop up.
the start of his respect, and urge to fight gon grew the second that he saw gon with his own badge in hand.
so why does this matter?
because the respect gon gained from hisoka kept him alive.
i think its interesting to compare the way hisoka views targets he doesnt MIND fighting and targets he WANTS to fight, aka, respects. agon, the bird-looking guy who he kills, was nothing to hisoka. hisoka was in a trance when he killed him, gon even said that hisoka wouldve just killed anyone he saw. when hisoka killed agon it was quick, and hisoka let agons body fall without a second glance. in fact, the next thing he does is a clear indicator of the way he views the people he respects. he drops EVERYTHING, in quiet shock, to look for the person that ripped the badge of his chest. you know its shock because hisoka places his hand on his chest, where his badge had been, to see if it truly was gone. its enough of a shock for him to completely snap out of his bloodlust trance and to focus all of his attention to the person who took them down.
gon
and when he saw gon, what was his reaction? he was happy.
gon is special, in a way. hisoka saw potential in gon, but he didnt seem to care too much for him. it was enough to make an impression, though. that impression instantly grew once he saw gon was the one to take his badge; he realised that gon truly would grow into an opponent worthy of killing.
it almost seems like hisoka WAS going to kill gon at first, the way he reacted after spotting him, but i can GUARANTEE you he wasnt. hisoka was no longer in a trance once he saw gon, he was completetly calm and in his sound mind (as much as that counts). hisoka approaches gon, or at least begins to, calmly and quietly. he visibly shows himself stepping towards gon, he doesnt try to go quick before gon can react, in fact, he waits for gon to get over his startlement before approaching. gon, still scared for his life (for good reason) ran away. but i can still guarantee that he wasnt in a trance even without him not physically being on the screen-- all of it revolves around geretta. he kills geretta quietly, gon doesnt even know hisoka kills geretta until after it happens. hisoka is careful, collected, and assassinates him without a sound. had hisoka been in a trance he wouldve been running to kill gon, and that wouldve made geretta hear him and it wouldnt have been such an easy kill; when hisoka is in a trance, he doesnt care who sees him-- hes so overwhelmed by his own bloodlust to not sense the presence of others. theres no reasonable way that hisoka wouldve calmly approached geretta if he was truly in an urge to kill gon, therefore he didnt want to kill gon.
hisoka is not too... prideful. i wouldnt use the word to describe him at least. its not like he wakes up in the morning to admire himself, hes never said something that leads me to believe he even tells himself hes strong. i dont know how to explain it, but hisoka doesnt NEED to tell himself that hes strong; hes confident, but hes not vain. i would only ever call him overconfident when bloodlust gets to his head-- but when that happens, hisoka plain cant THINK, so i dont think its too far to use that. the only counterargument against this that i can think of is the way he is with chrollo, but i havent thought much about their relationship and i dont want to bring that up now. what im trying to say is that hisoka couldve honestly given less of a shit if he lost his own badge. it wouldnt mean anything to him so long he could still win. but hes not stupid, he knows the value of a badge. the knows the value that gaining an opponents badge would mean to someone, i think he wouldnt exactly KNOW know but i think he would have a hunch that it WOULD mean something to gon.
so i think that hisoka giving gon his badge would be a sign of respect, as well. he COULDVE taken all the badges he needed, he COULDVE just let gon be, but instead he went out of his way to gift gon his badge. this wasnt mockery, like gon took it. it was a sign of respect, because hisoka WANTS gon to pass. he knows hes going to be fine even if he has to get 3 more cards and gives his own to gon so that he may pass. its the thing that sparked my analysis, it was CLEAR that it was a sign of respect.
i have one more argument. believe it or not, knocking down gon was another sign of respect. while yes it brought gon to a very low point, hisoka didnt mean for that to happen. him knocking gon down was mercy, in hisokas eyes. he obviously doesnt want gon to not pass, its obvious. another sign is that geretta is killed. hisoka couldve let gon deal with it, i mean geretta didnt give a lethal dose, but hisoka didnt let that happen. he dropped his badge and left it with gon, and ran off with gerettas. if gon passed and if he passed, he was fine with that.
its all respect. he has enough respect for gon to want him to live (for now) and pass.
so why did hisoka not kill gon in zevil island when he had every chance? he had too much respect for gon to do it.
#hxh#hxh meta#gon freecss#hisoka morow#ik i got pics from 11's but i was actually watching the 90s version when i got the idea to write this#i was arguing with myself because im crazy about the way hisoka acted and i was trying to deduce WHY he didnt kill gon and#why he acted the way he did in general during that time#and i just slwoly came to realisation that gon only survived because hisoka respects him#and its so. hisokas fucking brain is so intersting i need to dissect it#litearlly i am going insane soemtimes i feel like im one of the only people in this website who fundimentally understands this clown#i know thats not like something to brag about and i sound stupid but i. i feel like i understand his reasoning but damn near everything &#perhaps that is a cause for worry#not my fault i got mentally fucked up in the head symdrome#anyways guys im hongry and the glue in my nails is peeling off and its 2am#seriously i spent hours doing dishes and that makes the glue fall off sm faster it fucking sucksssss#why do i spend hours doing dishes? because i spend hours cleaning and organising. why do i do that?😎 please help me#side note writing this at 2:25 im really hongry still man#i litearlly do not know if any of this makes sense im ujst jmjrsg .stupid clown#okay i finaly ifnished it at 4:42 am i need to go to bed i have like a hair appointment at 12 and thats important i need my blondness to#keep my sane..dont worry i only dye half of it platimun blonde because i hate yellow and its a stupid colour#anyways i feel like i couldve explained this better but i try my best#omg wiat 4:44 making this edit yayyy angel numbers#um anwyays wanted to say..shit what did i want to say........oh yes i wanted to say that i know no one asked but but i really had been thin#kin about this and i realy needd to get it out of my heaed
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