#but i had to share this masterpiece

[frog-person]

This is what I do with my graphic design qualification. I regret nothing

[the-raven-lady]

Astartes blood making a person infertile is (from what I can recall) kind of old lore that might not be fully accurate to the current canon. And I think that an ink-infused-with-blood tattoo would function differently than a full on blood transfusion, since the blood is supposed to stay in one specific place acting as a kind of human microchip rather than as a means of actually replacing blood.

Also space marines are notoriously poisonous (like have you seen those guys??) their bodies contain all kinds of fucked up chemicals that get carried around their body via the bloodstream. So if a human got a direct blood transfusion from a marine I think they’d just straight up die. But a blood tattoo could be less lethal, of course it would still be injecting poison into your body, but it would be in smaller amounts and also a more gradual process. People can die from that too if they’re in poor health or have conditions that severely weaken the immune system. But for an average person it’s pretty survivable, though it would leave them ill for a week or so while their body gets used to having the blood of someone who can eat solid rocks inside it.

So imagine getting the tattoo and feeling the aftermath of it nearly immediately. You’re sick, you have a fever, and at this point you’re not even aware of your surroundings. Your Night Lord owner moves you to his quarters, letting you rest on his bed while you get better. He keeps an eye on you the entire time, trying his hardest to take care of a fragile mortal like you.

Soon enough he can’t help it, he takes off his gauntlet and (very gently) runs his fingers through your hair. And you (in your unknowing state) lean into his touch. You’ve thanked him before, yes, but always through words. And at times he wondered if you were just putting up an act, if you did all of this just to rise up through the ranks of serfdom. But now he knows how foolish those thoughts were. Right now you’re nothing but a small and frightened animal, you don’t even know where you are, and yet you’re holding on to his hand and looking at him with such trusting eyes.

He wonders if this is how his cousins feel when they rescue a baseline from a battlefield, if this is what it’s like when they describe their eyes lighting up at the sight of the astartes. Awestruck and relieved at their heroes protecting them.

You shift a little bit, your other arm tries to wrap around his shoulder, trying to hold him closer to you. And he obliges, but then tries to suppress a whine when you press the side of your face against his. Mumbling something incoherent into his ear. Showing him such genuine affection.

He wonders if this is how the serfs feel when they talk about falling in love.

Between you and Misty's most recent drop, I'm making a Night Lord OC for this immediately.

I am someone who will often ignore certain aspects of canon that I find to be either stupid or unfun, I am absolutely willing to shuck off the 'infertile' part of Astartes blood.

But! To be able to take canon and twist it, the Astartes that have canonically given blood to humans only shot a vial's worth into them, which is not an incredibly significant amount. I was literally just talking with someone about how the human lymphatic system would easily be able to break down small amounts of blood around the tattoo ink generally, but I also am a huge fan of Astartes blood just being like "no <3" and staying right where its put.

I think I am personally of the volition that an Astartes blood-ink tattoo would be more like getting a powerful stimulant than a powerful poison because I actually liked that part of canon, but I also think that it would be so much more accurate to human biology to say that everyone just has a different reaction to it. Some people react like they've just been given a shot of morphine, some react like it's pure cocaine, others straight up die, and some just get violently ill.

Poor little serf being of the group that gets delirious with fever, needing their Astartes to take care of them?? Please, won't you touch me? Please, I just need you here. My light in the dark.

UGH that fills me with such strong emotions. Jaded old night lord learns how to love (colorized), circa 31st millennium. You wrote that so beautifully and I am inspired.

[kokichispanta]

DSMP Fics

(that I recommend)

(I have not actually finished all of these so if you see smth nasty I promise I don't know about it- Though do tell me so I can remove it from the list, thanks :D)

ROYAL AU 🜲

Butterfly Reign: By SilentTeyz

The royal family of Antarctic empire isn’t exactly close. Emperor Philza is always occupied; Tommy hasn’t seen Techno in months, and even if Wilbur is here, their relationship can be described to be strained at best. The royal family doesn’t need to be close, however, it only needs to be balanced, like the pillars holding the country above their heads – as long as they are strong and steady, the Empire will be too. It’s the principle that held Tommy’s back straight and his shoulders broad through the years of hardships and trials of errors; through yet another formal meeting where his father’s gaze would look past him and where his brother’s words would be filled with poison that makes the deepest parts of his soul ache. At that time, Tommy couldn't know that his family would find a replacement for him in the face of a commoner boy named Ranboo. Tommy's family has replaced him. It's only fair that he gets to do the same.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 39/50

https://archiveofourown.org

I was a kid in a village, doing alright, then I became a prince overnight: By sircantus

(Yes the title is from sofia the first, yes I'm laughing at it, I find it funny-) In which Phil has created the Antarctic Empire from the ground up and takes in Techno and Wilbur along the way, and raises them while also ruling his kingdom. Tommy, sixteen, lives with Tubbo in an orphanage, the two of them running around in the cold streets of their town. After a hectic day of getting separated from Tubbo, getting into a few fights, and ending up in an entirely new town, he comes across Phil, and saves him from an assassination attempt by smashing a plate over someone's head. So then both Techno and Wilbur decide to see who this kid is, and Tommy sure is endearing, in the way that the first time they spy on him, he starts a fight in an alleyway over a bag of cookies.

(and then Tommy basically gets kidnapped into the royal family, but like, legally, y’know?)

Status: Finished

Chapters: 28

https://archiveofourown.org

Who the Ever-Loving F*** made me a prince?: By sherashalala

Tommy wakes up in a book he's read once before, now casted as an infant prince named Theseus-- that would have been fine if this infant isn't destined to die at the age of fifteen by the hands of his own royal brother. Tommy as Theseus will not have that. He'll be changing a few things in here. For one, he will not be called Theseus. That's such a gaudy name. Who the hell chose that-? Oh right. The brother who is going to execute him. ---

OR The SBI Who Made Me A Princess AU we all needed. OR OR Tommy gets stuck inside a book and he has to use childish charm to change fate.

Status: Unfinished/Discontinued

Chapters: 27

https://archiveofourown.org

the curious tale of a not so lost runaway prince: By xMultiFandomsx

Tommy is the youngest prince of the Antarctic Empire who's fed up with being ignored by his family so he takes matters into his own hands. He begins to sneak out from the palace into the city nearby in hopes to catch someone's attention. It's there he begins to form a new sort of family. He experiences life like never before: discovering friendship, running from criminals, and (most importantly) eating wonderful foods.

-or- Prince Tommy was sick of his family forgetting about him and tries to get their attention which ends up leading him right into the arms of a whole new one. Will Tommy's royal life get in the way of his new city life? Will the royal family finally notice their youngest prince? There's only one way to find out.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 18

https://archiveofourown.org

TANGLED AU 𖤓

The Golden Phoenix: By emiartse

In his dreams, there had always been a voice. A soft melodic voice that sang their mother's lullaby. A more monotonous, but just as loving voice that promised he'd teach him to fight one day, once he was old enough of course. The doting voice of a mother laughs with a toddler as she gently tries to fix a small crown onto the boy's brow. And then there was the gentle voice of a father, that promised to always keep him safe from those who'd do them harm. And in the morning when the boy would awake, he'd wonder who exactly he needed to be protected from. "Tommy?" A voice called out from the doorway and Tommy grinned gleefully at the sight of his older brother. "Dream!" He yelled, stumbling out of bed and into his arms, hugging the man tight. His brother returned the hug in kind, his hands pressing warmly into the spot on his back where his wings would ignite from for the first time in a few days, fully grown. Surely Dream was all the protection Tommy would ever need in this world, right? A knot of doubt coiled tightly in his chest. -------------------------------------

AKA The DSMP Tangled AU nobody asked for.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 35/37

https://archiveofourown.org

The Ballad of Theseus: By Bumblebeeii

News said the Queen and her unborn child were sick. Rumours said the Kings guard were looking for a magic flower to quell all sickness, a flower that could pull someone back even from the brink of death. To the people of the Antarctic empire and greater lands beyond, the flower was nothing but a legend, forged many millennia ago. The story had quickly became one of myth, and was lost to the ever moving sands of time… —————————————————— When Tommy and Tubbo cross paths, an unforeseen pact is forged. Will their alliance rewrite destiny's design? ——————————————————

AKA a Tangled AU featuring Tommy, SBI, Tubbo, Dream and everyone else.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 15/22

https://archiveofourown.org

healing (in more ways than one): By orphan_account

For his entire life, Tommy dreamed of seeing the floating lights in person. His brother Dream, however, won't even let him leave his cottage, let alone go off into the world. With the help of Tubbo, a thief who breaks into his home while hiding from the kingdom, he just might be able to. Tubbo just wants to sell the lost prince's crown in exchange for a healing potion for Ranboo, who is gravely injured. However, when he meets Tommy, a loud teen with healing abilities, he might not have to. After all, he only needs to take the guy to see the lanterns. Easy, right? Princes Wilbur and Technoblade have been trying to track down Tubbo, but they lost him soon after he stole their missing brother's crown. Tubbo and Ranboo have been stealing from the castle for quite some time, but never anything this valuable. And even though they have yet to catch their criminal frenemies in all the years they've known each other, they're determined to get back the crown. -------

or the dream smp tangled au that literally no one asked for but i decided to write anyway

Status: Finished

Chapters: 21

https://archiveofourown.org

Gleam and Glow: By beepers

Long time ago, an ex-deity found a magical flower that made him younger and stronger if you sang to it. Centuries later, the flower is taken away from him to heal the pregnant Queen of L'Manberg. Luckily, she lives and gives birth to third son of King Philza, Tommy. Unfortuantely, Dream cannot live without his precious flower. He steals the golden-haired prince and hides him away from everyone, so no one can take away his youth again. Years later, a boy called Tubbo accidentally discovers a small house hidden in the mountains as he runs from Technoblade and his hounds. A great life-changing adventure has just began.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 27

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

https://archiveofourown.org

Little Flower: By Canadiantardis

The floating lights only came up the night of his birthday, Tubbo had learned. Hundreds upon hundreds of lights floating up the sky, just within view of the opening of the grotto’s opening. While Father had forbidden him from leaving the grotto, there had been a time, on his seventh birthday where he couldn’t sleep and snuck out to watch the sky, to see the moon, when he had seen the floating lights for the first time. Instantly, he had been entranced, and he had watched until he was close to passing out before he hauled himself back to his room, knowing Father would be furious if he found him by the entrance.

Tangled x Platonic Soulmates AU

Status: Finished

Chapters: 15

https://archiveofourown.org

AVIAN AU 𓅪

Avians (The Gods Have Spoken): By Your_Local_Valentine

Techno blade was nobody special. Really, he wasn’t. He was just some homeless rat in the streets, with no purpose in life. He’d been on his own since before he could remember, being raised by any other homeless person on the streets. He was not anyone important. He wasn’t supposed to be important. Until he woke up one day with wings. - Every god has chosen someone to be their angel. The god of Time, Chaos, even Death. They have all chosen their angel to represent them on earth, to protect the mortal plane. People who already had power in the realm- people of royalty. The only one who has never chosen an angel is the God of Blood. They never have. It was speculated that they were evil- that they hated angels and wanted to kill the gods and everyone else. Until that fateful night.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 8/?

https://archiveofourown.org

I'm Not Tired (Please Let Me Sleep): By Nissified

The blonde sighed and closed his eyes, the familiar ringing starting up in his ears again as he started to count backwards from thirty. At twenty, glass shattered and contorted voices screamed in his ears, leaving him almost deaf. He ignored them to the best abilities. At fifteen, he felt the sensation of someone punching him in the face, the pain almost enough to make him open his eyes again. At eight, something stung on his cheek, followed by the sensation of something dribbling down the skin. Something thick and warm. At three, the screeching became unbearable. At two, something snapped his wrist, the dull pain almost enough to pull him out. Almost. At one, he felt the blade of a knife digging into the skin of his throat, the pain would follow soon after. Zero.

or: Tommy is just some random dude who keeps getting attacked in his dreams by a particular bloodthirsty green Teletubby. Unfortunately, this leads to him not sleeping much and passing out on the Syndicate. They're more than just flabbergasted upon finding out he's got no clue who they are

Status: Finished

Chapters: 21

https://archiveofourown.org

Imprinted: By Euripides406BCE

Prompt by @corpseyreads on Twitter: SBI superhero au- where civilian tommy, with newly grown wings, dares to leave his apartment for the first time since manifesting them He doesn't mean to end up in the midst of a hostage situation with the syndicate

Some SBI supervillain madness with some fun Origins shit thrown in!

Status: Finished

Chapters: 40

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

https://archiveofourown.org

Every Flight (Begins With A Fall): By SilentTeyz

The crows continue to surround him. Maybe they know he isn't a real crow, sense the impostor. Tommy would have laughed if it wasn't for the hundred fucking crows watching him like a walking bag of food. He is about to get ejected. He is about to fucking die.

OR Tommy dies in the prison and respawns in the body of a crow. Phil and Techno are clueless that this angry injured fledgling is actually Tommy.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 11

https://archiveofourown.org

VILLAIN AU ☯

the world forgetting by the world forgot: By bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti)

“Something has been stolen from us,” Thanatos said, his wings puffing up as he spoke. “Something that is very important to us. And we are fairly certain that the person who stole this thing of ours is in this very crowd.” Dream tensed beside Tommy as the crowd broke out into murmurs. Eyes were darting towards the different heroes in the crowd, the benefactors no doubt assuming that the culprit had to be a hero. “Like we said, we haven’t crashed your party to cause trouble. But we want this thing returned to us, and we won’t hesitate to take extreme measures to get what we want.”

or, Tommy was a lot of things: a newly debuted hero sidekick, an amnesiac, and a former kidnapping victim of the Syndicate. Tommy didn't actually remember that last one though. That was just what Dream told him. Only weeks after his hero debut, the Syndicate announces they are searching for something, and Tommy knows it has to be him. The scariest part? If they find him, Tommy will have no clue what to expect, because the Syndicate might know him, but he has no memories of them. So he can't let them find him. No matter what. Of course they end up finding him anyway.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 21

https://archiveofourown.org

tommyinnit's clinic for supervillains: By bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti)

“W-What do you- I mean can I- are you here to rob us?” The person managed to stammer out. Siren snorted. “No. I’m just here to order some food.” “Wh-What about him?” The cashier asked, glancing at Tommy. “Did you- did you kidnap him?” “I mean… yeah, let’s go with that in case this ends up on the news,” Siren shrugged, looking back at Tommy. “I kidnapped you, right?” “Yeah, sure,” Tommy agreed, knowing that if they said he was kidnapped, it would keep people from getting suspicious of why he was seen in public with Siren. “Anyway, can I get the chicken nuggets happy meal, with a coke?”

or, how Tommy—who is not a hero, or a villain, or even a vigilante—saves the life of one of L'Manberg's most feared supervillains, and accidentally ends up becoming the resident doctor for every supervillain in town (and maybe gets a family along the way too).

Status: Finished

Chapters: 26

https://archiveofourown.org

Tommy's Ultra-Important Keychain: By SeriouslyCalamitous

“Be my apprentice,” Icarus blurted. Tommy blinked. Gradually, the corners of his mouth dropped into the deepest frown he’d ever made. “What the fuck? Why?” “Why?” Icarus froze and Tommy raised a judgemental eyebrow. “It’s because of your powers.” “My powers,” he echoed. “I never told you whether or not I had powers.” “I can… sense them,” Icarus bullshitted. Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Right. What are they, then,” he retorted. “Uh… super… powers,” the villain answered, sounding more unsure of himself by the second. Tommy wanted to bash his head against a wall. “Really? That’s the best you could do?” ------ Tommy isn’t sure why handing someone their keys is such a big deal, but now he’s left with a huge problem: Every supervillain in the city wants him to be their apprentice!

- or - Tommy’s lame superpower turns out to be a game-changer.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 39/42

https://archiveofourown.org

Tommyinnit’s Guide To Familyfying The Syndicate On Accident: By Six6

He turns to look back and… Is that fire in his apartment? Wait, no - Is that… IS THAT FIRE ON HIS COUCH?!?! Oh, the tragedy. It hurts, it hurts in more ways than one. That couch was Tommy’s whole life, his dreams, his love, his family. And that stupid, motherfucking hero that’s getting beat up in his apartment set it aflame. This is Tommy’s villain arc now. He’s a villain. He’s gonna take down the hero organization and dominate the world. This is his turning point; it’s set. No going back now. Whoever that fucking hero that’s getting beaten up in his apartment deserves what he’s getting right now for what he did to his beloved couch. He deserves worse, actually. Fuck that fiery hero. If he remembers correctly, that fiery hero that’s getting beat up is Hero Flame from the Dream Team, actually. And the one beating him up the way he deserves is… The Blade…? Great. They just broke the floor and fell another story down. The fuckers set the whole apartment aflame, and is that screaming he’s hearing? ~~~~~~~

Or Tommy somehow manages to keep getting himself into very fucked situations and familfys a group of anarchist villians called Syndicate. Did I say familfy? I mean friendify.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 11/?

https://archiveofourown

A Mockingbird In The Crows Nest: By LilBitO_Sunny

“It seems like someone set off multiple bombs at the News Tower. Looks like Pyro’s work- but we can’t be sure. The entire building is on fire, but Soulfire is across the city-” “I’m on it.” He said instantly, cutting her off. “Call Charon and Peleus, too. There might be people trapped on the higher floors and we’ll need to get them out.” Tommy’s excitement screeched to a halt at that. “Get Warden, too. We need someone who can breathe smoke to get in there and help us look.” Erebus continued, but Tommy wasn’t really paying attention. People? What did he mean by people? There weren’t any people in the tower- it was nearly 2 am. Why would there be people at a news station at 2 in the morning?? The Villain League would never intentionally hurt innocent people. Then his ears popped, and he heard the screams. Oh god.. What has he done?

Or: Tommy's a supervillain tasked with going undercover at the Hero's Tower. His job is to gather information, sabotage what he can, get their identities, and get out..But he doesn't expect for people to actually like him. He doesn't expect the enemy to treat him kinder than his own family.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 37

https://archiveofourown.org

run boy, run: By 212rime

Tommy was many things: feared, free, powerful… but he wasn’t proud. He wasn’t proud of the title he had or the name they’d called him, honestly he didn’t think he deserved it. Tommy never had an evil plan, or a secret lair, or any of the cool things villains had. All he had was a shitty apartment and the clothes on his back, and a desire for more. He couldn’t be a civilian, and he certainly wouldn’t be a hero, so he did what he had to do. At fifteen years old, Red Death killed the top heroes in L’Manburg, and Tommy became a villain.

Or: Two years ago, the top heroes of L'Manberg were killed by Red Death. Now, ex-villain Tommy tries to juggle the fallout while also forging new relationships, some of which may be more complicated than they seem.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 23

https://archiveofourown.org

Everything Will Be Okay: By erynestel

So, Tommy was pretty sure he was in a video game. How he came to that conclusion, you might ask? Oh, well, you know, he just went to sleep one night in the bedroom he shared with the two other kids at his latest foster home, clutching Henry to his chest and trying to ignore the snores from the bed across the room – and then woke up somewhere else. In an alley. A fucking dirty alley overflowing with trash, he might add. He was pretty sure he’d even heard rats scattering around somewhere. It also had been winter, the morning air cold and quickly seeping through his thin pyjama. The only other thing he’d had with him were Henry and his blanket, laying on the ground. You know, just your typical Tuesday.

OR Tommy wakes up in a world where the new video game everyone is talking about is *very* real. That includes the three main villains, heads of an organization called ‘The Syndicate’. But it’s totally fine! He just has to make sure he never meets them – he’s got a feeling they won’t be pleased about another crow hybrid in an otherwise hybrid-less world.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 2

Extra: I usually wouldn't add in ones this short but this is like in my top three DSMP fanfics

https://archiveofourown.org

One Man's Trash: By SilverWing15

The kid is glaring down at him and eating a partially moldy apple like he’s daring Wilbur to come fight him for it. “What the fuck?” Wilbur says. The kid takes a huge chunk out of the apple and definitely doesn't chew it enough before he swallows. “You got a fucking problem, asshole?” “I mean...kind of?” Wilbur says. “There’s a child eating literal garbage in front of me so I feel like that’s a bit concerning.” “Shouldn’t you be robbing a bank or getting your ass kicked by superheroes?” “Shouldn’t you be in school?” The kid snarls wordlessly and chucks an empty carton from some chinese place at him. “Fuck off man. Forget this dump.” “What, you know a better one to eat from?” “I know one that doesn’t have a fucking weirdo supervillain in it!” The kid slams the lid of the dumpster down. Rude.

Or: It was only a matter of time before I did a superhero AU

Status: Finished

Chapters: 17

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

https://archiveofourown.org

FANTASY AU ✧

bones in the ocean: By bunflower

“The Angel of Death, the ferryman of the Styx, the terror of the western seas. One of the most feared captains ever to sail, and yet, I have to wonder… how did a man like you end up all on his own? We searched the area where you were found—not another soul in sight. So,” He fixes him with a long look, allowing the silence to hover like a dark cloud, the words rolling off of his tongue with all the venom and smugness he can muster, “—tell me, Philza. Where is your crew?” —

OR: Technoblade is a naval captain, and Phil his unwilling prisoner. Somehow, they manage to come out of it as friends in the end.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 19

https://archiveofourown.org

Only at the Ocean Floor: By Kokichis_Panta

Tommy has never been one to get too close to the surface. He's been above it a few times just for a couple of seconds, but he never saw anything interesting. Though after he started to keep an eye on the surface more, he'd sometimes spot a large shadow trail past him. It would usually drop down ropes weaved together that would pick up fish and bring them back up to the surface. He had to admit that he grew jealous with how easily it picked up a hundred fish and had tried to craft his own out of seaweed. It didn't work. He supposed it wasn't that much of a loss. After all, siren claws were sharper than mermaids, he could hunt better than Niki anyway, he didn't need a fish catching contraption. Though when he told the girl about his discoveries, she quickly forbade him from ever nearing the shadows again, especially the weaved ropes they dropped into the water. Fine. He could just look at them from a distance. Until, he got too curious. So curious that he peaked his head above the water just for a second. It was an interesting sight to say the least. That shadow wasn't exactly just a shadow, and for some reason there were some strange creatures on it. Ones with two flesh sticks for a tail.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 2/?

https://archiveofourown.org

Few Mercies For Fools: By MathanLin

“Bullshit. That’s the dumbest thing you could do.” “And why would that be?” Too many responses to count flashed through Tommy’s mind. This man was going to kill him, there was no denying that. No denying that Tommy had been stupid. That mantra had gotten him through the night, sure, but it wasn’t true, and now he was going to die. In the forest, he didn't know what was coming to kill him. Now, though, he knew it would be this man, with his soft cloak and softer eyes, Tommy wasn’t so afraid. Might as well encourage him to make it quick. “Because I know where you live, you rebel fuck,” he spat. “I know exactly where we are.” ///

Or, the SBI coven adopts a foul-mouthed child soldier with trust issues.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

MODERN AU ⾕

there's something about the soots: By No_one_you_know

It’s common knowledge that you’re supposed to avoid the Soots. Sure, the father, Phil, is nice, but his three sons are most definitely crazy The oldest- Techno, talks to himself, and there are rumors that he killed someone once. Wilbur is an actual psychopath- he was the one that burnt down the barn all those years ago. And Tommy? He’s just… Weird. Tubbo is new to town, having just moved in with his cousins, Fundy and Niki. He doesn’t know the rules. Which is why he approaches Tommy one day, and his whole world is changed.

Tubbo and the Sleepy Boys Inc. There's kind of a light magic system involved but it's not convoluted i swear

Status: Finished

Chapters: 26

https://archiveofourown.org

Build This Unsteady Bridge: By odymcbea

Wilbur was exhausted. It was raining and his throat hurt and with every step, Tommy was getting heavier in his arms. But he’d already made the kid walk so far today and in all honesty, Wilbur would rather deal with sore arms than a six year old’s tears of exhaustion. Finally, Wilbur stumbled onto the street they tentatively— and illegally— called home. It was lined with identical townhouses, one of which was currently empty. They’d been squatting in it for nearly a month now. It wasn’t the safest place they’d ever slept, but when it came to insulating them from the winter chill, Wilbur would give it five stars on any hotel website. Unfortunately, the window he climbed through was not the one they'd been using these past few weeks. This window belonged to the most terrifying man Wilbur had ever laid eyes on.

Or, while on the run, Wilbur and Tommy accidentally break into the wrong house. Technoblade finds them asleep in his living room. Family ensues. Eventually.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 10

https://archiveofourown.org

Home Is Where Your Heart Is: By arcticjaybird

It’s quiet. Tommy doesn’t like it when it’s quiet.

Tommy was loud. Tommy was combative and hostile and defensive and aggressive. Tommy was destructive. He knows he’s a problem child, constantly getting into trouble and wrecking any semblance of a family he might have left. But he doesn’t stop- he prefers the disgusted looks and constant new faces to the heartbreak that comes with caring. Tommy’s been bounced from home to home for most of his adolescence. This place is supposed to be a new start with people who care, but Tommy can’t bring himself to open up. He knows it’ll only end in pain and bitterness. He has his friends and support system, and he tells himself it’s all he needs. “We’re here.” He was told. “Try not to fuck this one up.”

Status: Finished

Chapters: 18

https://archiveofourown.org

Theater Major: By Annex

Tommy hasn't seen or spoken to his brothers in almost seven years. And it was supposed to stay that way. In fact Tommy wasn't ever supposed to see or speak to his brother until they apologized to him. Or at least that's what he thought. Now in his senior year in the most prestigious school in the country due to a very strange set of circumstances, Tommy is shocked to find his out his brothers are coming home a semester early and are going to be staying at home with him again. With his whole world shaken and his perfectly crafted world crumbled by this news, Tommy figure out how to manage his knew home life with his current school life. Not to mention he's also part of the school theatre program that is much more demanding than anything he's ever done before. Tommy has to make it through his last semester of high school, last show with the school that has done so much for him and now his entire schedule and life has been thrown to the wind by his family. And why are they acting like nothings wrong? ----

Or Tommy's a theater kid who now has to deal with fact that his brothers are disrupting the life he had ever so perfectly created in the massive wake they left behind.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 23

https://archiveofourown.org

If I Lie, Maybe I'll Believe It: By weepingvirtue

At sixteen years old, Tommy knew so many things. He knew that people were predictable and selfish. He knew not to trust, not to take, and not to get comfortable for too long. He knew that the concept of family was as fake as the highlights in his last foster mother's hair. Tommy had known for years that life was painful and had no extra love for some ratty foster kid like him. He knew that it was him and his copy of The Odyssey against the whole world. He knew that he only had to survive long enough to make it to his eighteenth birthday before he could escape. But when Tommy ends up fostered in the Watson household completely by chance, he finds that maybe he never knew anything in the first place. //

or, the one in which Tommy Innit has never really experienced love, family, or belonging, and is suddenly surrounded by it all at once.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

His Curse of Binding: by orphan_account

Tommy had lived and died as Theseus, Icarus, Orpheus and Sisyphus. But all he wanted to be was free. In which Tommy Soot, originally born in 1509, is cursed to be reborn, to never reach adulthood unless he figured out the Greek myth of his lifetime. He had one rule of not allowing himself to get attached to people but he would have never guessed that a foster family of the creator of Minecraft, an anime stan and a Soundcloud musician would break that rule.

~ SBI Foster AU but with Greek mythology.

Status: Completed

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

VIGILANTE TOMMY AU ✩

This is Not an Act of Spite: By ellis (ellabellachicketychella)

Could the universe be kind enough, so that Tommy could get a damn break from the mess that is his life? Please? Just for one day. --- Okay, so maybe coming to the interview with a few broken ribs was a bad idea, but what choice did he have? Just not come and keep on being unemployed? Several bad things could happen during his interview, given the circumstances. There was an AI in the building designed by Vulcan which not only kept unwanted people from getting in, it scanned people for any unauthorized weapons or injuries. There was also the problem with his illegal documents since he wasn't an actual adult. But the biggest risk is that the job is at a hero organization. And he's a vigilante. Which are highly illegal. ---

or, yet another vigilante tommy au... except this time, there is at least one brain cell (you can figure out who has it)

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 45/56

https://archiveofourown.org

TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death: By eneliii

“I uh,” Tommy starts, not knowing how to break this to the hero lightly. He hates to be the bearer of bad news. “I think your powers are broken? It’s not a bad thing of course, but like, I swear you tried to mind control me and it like, totally failed. Which is fine, honestly, don’t feel insecure. Everyone’s power stop working sometimes… I think.”  Sheesh, this is very awkward. Why is no one else talking? Why is Philza looking at him like he grew three heads? Why is the Blade staring at him so intensely? Why is Willow still frozen? “Did I, did I hit a nerve? Yikes,” Tommy hisses, “Well um,” He steps back, bracing his legs and bending his knees, “This was like super fun, but I’m - I’mma head out.”

or, in which Tommy manages to annoy the hell out of Phil, Techno and Wilbur by being both impossible to catch and irritatingly endearing.

or or, a crack fic where Tommy is a vigilante and Phil, Techno and Wilbur are the heroes hunting him down.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

No Cause for Concern: By hedgehoggeryyy

So maybe applying for a job at the heroes' base of operations when he could be arrested any moment for being an illegal vigilante wasn't Tommy's smartest move. But he gets to work with his idols — Ghostbur, the Blade, and Philza Minecraft, Angel of Death himself, just to name a few — how could he turn down that opportunity, honestly? And keeping his two identities separate can't be that difficult, really. It'll all be a piece of cake. ---

or, tommyinnit just wanted to pay the rent and save people at the same time. things can't go his way for just once, can they?

Status: Unfinished/Discontinued

Chapters: 35

https://archiveofourown.org

harness your hopes: By thanotaphobia (blue000jay)

“Well,” Phil says, letting go of the blond’s mouth and wiping his hand on his pants with a grimace. “There’s my unethical deed of the day.” “You committed tax fraud this morning.” “I did no such thing.”

(or, the ethically dubious vigilante!tommy fic, where SBI are crimelords and Tommy just wants his best friend back, man.)

Status: Finished

Chapters: 9

https://archiveofourown.org

Into the Night: By Interjection

“Don’t touch me,” Tommy hisses, leaning against the railing. “I will - I will-” They’re a hundred stories up. Wind lashes against Phil’s face. Next to him, Sam makes choked noise. “But why?” Tommy looks up to meet Phil’s eyes, terror struck so deep in those pale blue irises Phil thinks they must hold all the world’s fears within them. “You’ll die,” he whispers. “And then I’ll die. But I’ll come back.” “And I don’t want to come back.” Others have the freedom to live. Tommy doesn’t even have the freedom to die. But maybe they can teach him that living doesn’t have to be so bad. ---

(Superpowers AU where whenever someone touches Tommy, they both die. But Tommy will always come back to life eventually. He just wants it to end - but instead, he’s on the run, terrified of how his power will be exploited if he’s caught. A few people reluctantly team up to save him.)

Status: Finished

Chapters: 8

Extra: You can only read this if you have an Ao3 account

https://archiveofourown.org

Tommyinnit a Vigilante? Never.: By greenpinkroe

Tommyinnit leads one of the worst double lives in history. After his parents death Tommy was quick to take care of himself, and soon his close friend as well. He became a vigilante because he was never able to have the same opportunities considering his financial condition. So as a remedy he gets a grant based internship with a highly respected corporation. The very corporation that helps with any legal work that heroes face, meaning Tommy is surrounded by the people trying to catch him for the better part of most days. His biggest issue now is for them to never find out, and to do the occasional coffee run.

Or, I read a Hero fic with Tommy as a vigilante and fell in love with the idea.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

Rogue: By milk_tea24

Tommy ran. He ran as fast as he could. He needed to leave. To be safe. And he thought he finally was. He made it out. Away from the monster who raised him. Tommy found friends and got a job. But he screwed everything up like he always does. Now what can he do but what he does best. Go Rogue. ______________________________

Or, Tommy escapes Dream, after being locked away by him for years and becomes a vigilante.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 33

https://archiveofourown.org

OTHER ☻

Stay underneath my wing: By sircantus

"Wilby says that- that if a stranger ever tries to grab me, I can bite them." Tommy nods, giving a little glare towards Techno and his bitten hand. "Okay." Technoblade says slowly. "But don't bite me." "No, I'm gonna bite you." ---

SBI Zombie apocalypse AU, in which Tommy is a little kid who's been separated from Wilbur. While Wilbur is on a desperate search for his little brother with Phil, Tommy stumbles across Technoblade, who is the definition of 'no chill' in the zombie apocalypse. Techno accidentally gains a new little brother.

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 33/?

https://archiveofourown.org

mayday, mayday, mayday: By always_an_anxious_mess

“Mayday mayday mayday, this is Ship 268454, CCS Clara, does anyone copy?” After an accident that he isn’t even sure how occurred, Junior Crewmember Tommy Innit is stuck out in the dead zone of space with a dead crew and on a damaged ship. No nearby inhabited planets. No nearby stations. Nothing. He’s billions of kilometers away from any hope of rescue, and has to figure out a way to safety. Not only that, for the first time in his life, he’s completely alone.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 30

https://archiveofourown.org

The Children's Rebellion: By Aria_Cinabun

His name was Tommy Innes, and he was born to touch the stars. Of course, touching the stars was going to have to wait, because he'd lost that dream the moment his parents had died when he was ten years old—the moment he had watched that starship explosion and felt a bit of his heart die with them. He'd lost that dream when he was transported to prison and then to a place called Pogtopia. He'd lost that dream when he watched hundreds of children starve on the streets of Pogtopia. When he and two friends become the lone survivors of the Red Planet's Genocide. When they were rescued, and he was captured again. But maybe—maybe one day, he would regain that dream. Maybe he would hunt down the mass murderer that had executed his friends and gain his revenge—but that day was not now, and now he sat in a prison and stared at the faraway stars. Perhaps there would be people that he could call family again. People he would see again—people whom he had lost years ago. One day. Because he was an Avian, born to be forever alone amongst broken stars. And Avians did not fall unless they wanted to.

or a science fiction fic about rebellion

Status: Finished

Chapters: 58

https://archiveofourown.org

Just One Mistake (is all it will take): By Bluestrasa

Whisper blinked, dumbfounded. “Nix what—” “Tommy! Tommy, can you hear me?” She scooped up the body and Whisper finally got a decent look at him. He was young, too young to be passed out alone in a rainy alley. His blonde hair was darkened by water and streaks that must have been blood if his batter face was anything to go by. His skin was pale and his body trembled slightly, even in unconsciousness. Whisper moved side by side with his partner, pulling out first aid supplies and searching for major injuries. “You know this kid?” he asked.

--- or --- What do you get when one of the city's most famous vigilantes is actually a sixteen-year-old with the opposite of flashy powers and severe trust issues? A tragedy in the making, that's what.

Status: Finished

Chapters: 38

https://archiveofourown.org

TommyInnit's Maladjusted Magic School Experience: By MikiIsDying

Tommy was bullied for being a late-bloomer in the magical world he was born in. Tommy dreams of being on the magic battle field, but he lacks magical abilities. Disregarding the fact he lacks all qualifications, he applies to go to the most prestigious magic combat training school in the country. By going there, Tommy hopes to be like the famous witches he idolizes. Tommy waits in excruciating anxiety for his acceptance letter to arrive. -

or The writer has nothing better to do in their free time so why not make a terribly written rendition of mcyts but as witches. -

Basically this story is mainly the Dream SMP characters in a fantasy school setting :) Tommy centric + mainly SBI & BenchTrio moments

Status: Unfinished

Chapters: 45/?

https://archiveofourown.org

The Last Heist: By crystalSkiez

In Manburg there's no mercy for criminals. Getting caught by the guards is an immediate death sentence. Tommy has managed to avoid them for 9 years now--by day, as an arrogant pickpocket with a mouth almost as fast as his hands, and by night as the renowned Underground thief known only as Theseus. Things are going well, all things considered. And then he gets a message from the infamous Antarctic gang and everything goes to shit. Now Tommy has to handle pulling off the heist of his life, all while hiding his true identity from both the tyrannical government and his new associates in the most feared gang in the city.

or I wanted a sci-fi found family AU with the SBI gang

Status: Unfinished/Discontinued

Chapters: 34

https://archiveofourown.org

If you're new to DSMP fanfiction I recommend starting with 'tommyinnit's clinic for supervillains' and 'Butterfly Reign' as those two are big parts of the fandom. If you get into fanfiction, you're bound to hear about those and you might be confused if you haven't read them. Another popular one is called 'passerine' but I personally am too much of a wimp to read it cause it's full of angst and will for sure make me depressed. That one might be the most popular by far though, even I know basically the whole plot and I haven't touched it.

If you have an recs for me I'd be happy to see!

[thebaronsilver]

[akabendyfan]

bro its crazy how they be doing starscream dirty like this 😔😔😔😔

[bobmckenzie]

GUYS... GUYS. OMFG.

IM SO HAPPY I CANTWGBEJENEKD I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW FANTASTIC AND ACCURATE THIS IS IM GONNA CRY... AUGAHAYHAHAHAH IT COULD NOT HAVE COME OUT ANY BETTER !!!!!!

[strawbebbiesart]

Crochigi (crochet Tigi) 🐅🪴⛵️

[eldritch-bisexual]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 长月烬明 | Till the End of the Moon (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Li Susu/Tantai Jin Characters: Li Susu, Tantai Jin Additional Tags: Romance, Post-Canon Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Humor, Drama, Li Susu is afraid of birds, too bad she's a Phoenix Goddess Summary:

It all started with an egg.

When Li Susu discovers she's pregnant, she and Tantai Jin are eager to welcome their child into the world. Things, however, don't go exactly as they'd imagined.

[“Susu, you are a Phoenix Goddess,” he said plainly.

“Yes?”

“And that’s a bird.”

She sighed, her shoulders dropping as she deflated. “...Yes.”

“Didn’t you hatch from an egg?”

Li Susu pouted. “Yeah, yeah I get it.”

“Did you never consider—-”

“Did *you* ever consider?”

He had the decency to look apologetic. “No, I didn’t either.”

“How do we raise an egg?” she finally asked, her voice flat and resigned. ]

A one-shot about how a happy ending plays out for a very unusual couple; a Phoenix, a Devil God, and the egg they hatch together.

[codemonki]

OMG! They put Nightwing in the Animal Jam Masterpiece creator???

[yumichikah]

-- thanks to @hainekc, I ended up drawing a grumpy Yumi waking up in the middle of the night to a text from a drunk Rangiku. He's _so done_ with her lol.

[nichiperi]

So I started playing this game called everskies and uhhhh

I can't post images but I can do this. Apparently. 😬

[bl00dw1tch]

.

[raventhekittycat]

Dreamt of a new fandom concept called cannonballing. The idea was that someone who had seen all of a show (the weirder the better, Riverdale was the one in my dream), would have someone else with little to no knowledge binge watch the entirety of the show. The person who knew it all would be the "sponsor" of the person who was going to watch it. They have them come over to their place and have food and snacks for them and stuff.

That's sort of as far as the dream explicitly went but i got the impression the person watching it would compare it to other stuff theyd seen or whatever show they were super into and that maybe they're reactions would be recorded (which as i understand is already kind of a thing?) and either livestreamed or not.

Oh the term cannonballing came from jumping into the pool as the way to get into something, i.e. getting completely immersed in it with no warning/prior knowledge. Also since riverdale was used as the example I guess maybe you'd do like a season a day rather than going without sleep but I think you'd go into the next season the next day and the next the day after that without stopping.

Anyways what shows would you use for a cannonball?

[sun-moon-and-stars4]

its a fend for yourself night and ya girl is fucking fending

annies mac (animal shapes bc why not) and i added real cheese bc im not a lunatic

and yog with granola i made like 5 minutes ago! (also honey and strawberry jam from a market i went to last week)

went to the pool today, worked out, honestly livin my best this june

[margarethelstone-2]

so i've been thinking about the ways to re-use my wedding dress somehow. ended up sketching the thing.

[nereidprinc3ss]

slumber party

in which there's only one bed. fem bau!reader x spencer reid

fluff! warnings/tags: dark humor, (the word molest is used jokingly once but in my defense your honor its completely on brand for early seasons cm humor, if u cancel me u have to cancel the whole cast those are the rules, its just a joke cause reader always flirts w him aggressively, pls don't come for me i have a wife and children and three boyfriends to take care of,) mutual pining, bullying and death threats as flirting, they love each other so much and bicker like children, glasses spencer, (moans), emily and rossi are mentioned bc canon means fuck all to me, i think thats it but this is my most out of pocket duo so if i'm wrong lmk a/n: just a silly little thing that i cooked up, not a masterpiece but i think its cute!! I hope u enjoy!! lmk what you think!! looooveee youuuu

“Oh, there is no way.”

Your duffel bag hits the dingy carpet as Spencer is still closing the door behind you. 

“What? Is it—”

You give him a look over your shoulder, eyebrows raised as if to say, what are you going to do about this?

But he only manages to meet your eyes for a split second before they’re back to the singular queen bed, darting over the white sheets and pillows like he might find another mattress if he looks hard enough. 

Sharing a room with Spencer, you can handle. You've done it before. Whenever the team has to pair up at a hotel, you two are an obvious choice. And while you occasionally butt heads, mostly you adore each other and it's great.

But sharing a bed is a whole other situation.

One you were not prepared for. And evidently, neither is he.

Watching his big anxious eyes flit around the room nervously, you feel sort of bad for your reaction. You know you can be a bit… abrasive, sometimes. 

“It’s fine, I’ll just—I’ll see if I can share a bed with Emily or JJ in their room—”

Just then there’s a knock at the door. Spencer looks relieved to have something else to focus on, turning back around and quickly undoing the latch again before opening the door to reveal your favorite raven-haired SSA. Emily leans past the doorjamb, eyes immediately honing in on the awkward sleeping arrangement. 

“Oh my god! You guys too?”

“What?” You and Spencer ask at the same time. Emily raises her eyebrows at this and glances between you, but otherwise doesn’t comment. 

“Me and JJ only have the one bed. I thought it might just have been us.”

You frown. There goes your plan of sharing a room with them. 

“What about Morgan and Garcia?”

Spencer snorts.

“Something tells me Penelope wouldn’t be too torn up about it if that's the case.”

“Hotch and Rossi?”

The room goes quiet and a little chilly as the thought disturbs everyone equally. Emily frowns deeply.

“I don’t even… I can’t picture that.”

“Can we please not try to picture it?”

“Great. Okay, well. I just wanted to make sure everyone is suffering equally. Good luck, champs.”

“Thanks,” Spencer mutters dryly. Emily smiles, eyes darting between the two of you for just a moment too long, before pushing off the door frame and disappearing from sight. Once the door is closed again, a heavy silence ensues. “I’ll… I can take the floor—”

“It’s fine, Spencer. I’m not going to make you sleep on the floor. We’re both grown-ups. Besides, we like each other, right? It’ll be like a slumber party.”

“I’ve never had one,” he admits. His glasses slip further down his nose as he frowns. Your fingers itch to push them back up. 

“Then I’m happy to be your first,” you tease, facing him fully with your hand on your hip and barely resisting the urge to add, I’ll be gentle. “Do you want the shower first or can I?”

Spencer has a habit of looking you up and down like he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. Some might find it odd, but his utter lack of social graces is, lucky for him, incredibly endearing to you. 

“You can have it first,” he says, meeting your eyes again. “Just don’t do that thing where you get the entire bathroom soaking wet.”

“Aw. But I love doing that. It’s my favorite part,” you tease, scooping up your bag once more.

Twenty minutes later you’re emerging from the bathroom with damp hair, clad in loose shorts and a college hoodie. 

“Nice outfit,” Spencer says from the spinny-chair at the desk, examining your outfit choice with a scrutiny you wish you’d been prepared for. Really, you wish you’d known ahead of time you’d have a roommate and brought some alternate sleeping clothes. “I had no idea you felt so passionately about… Scooby Doo?”

“Shut up right now,” you grit, tossing your bag into the corner of the room and tugging your hoodie down over your cartoon-patterned shorts as far as you can. 

“What?” He’s laughing as he brushes past you on his way into the bathroom, bearing his own bag. “It’s a good look for you.”

Your face is burning as you choose the side of the bed furthest from the door. Springs creak underneath your weight as you sink down, sitting with your legs hanging off the side for a moment before swinging them up onto the mattress, leaning against the headboard and side-eyeing the empty space next to you. There’s really not very much of it. The bed feels even smaller than it looks. 

From the bathroom you hear the sound of the shower squeaking and starting up again—a cacophony of droplets against tile on the other side of the wall. You try not to be nervous as you imagine Spencer filling the space beside you in just a few minutes, hair wet and in pajamas. And yet you spend each second wondering if he’s almost done, wondering if the shower will finally sputter to a halt, and once it does, wondering how long it’ll be before he’s out again. It’s ridiculous how impatient you're getting—and by the time you finally watch the door knob twist you feel crazy. 

“I think that was your longest shower yet, Dr. Reid.”

The teasing affords you a moment to ogle him head to toe, taking in his choice of pajamas—tonight, familiar plaid pants and an MIT crewneck—as well as his hair which has already begun to dry. Briefly you wonder if he does that thing guys do, where they lean down and haphazardly dry their hair with a towel because they have no concern for its texture whatsoever. But you kind of doubt it, because his hair always looks so soft. 

“You were sitting here waiting for me?” He chuckles, and honestly you’d been expecting a shyer response. But you adapt quickly. 

“Maybe I was. Big spoon or little spoon?”

“Ha-ha.” He opens a drawer in the dresser and begins unpacking his clothes into it. It's a funny habit of his. You never unpack your duffel. “You took the better side of the bed.”

“Uh, yeah. I’m the woman. I get to do that.”

“Well you should know that if an intruder breaks in, I’m not fighting him off. You’d probably have a better chance than me.”

“And my chances will be even better if he’s distracted with you first.”

“So I’m just bait?” He scoffs, looking back at you. Strands of wet hair hang so prettily around his face, like the perfect frame around a work of art. You smile sweetly from your spot on the bed before playfully biting at the air in his direction. The message goes unspoken but reads loud and clear. Of course you are. You make such good bait. 

That gets a blush out of him and he has nothing else to say as he turns back to his drawer. Happily you lean back against the headboard, stretching your legs out and bouncing slightly in place. Beneath you the mattress springs groan and squeak in protest. 

“I hope you're not going to be this irritating all night.”

It's clearly lighthearted, but you promptly stop and frown at his back. 

“Call me irritating again and see where you end up sleeping tonight.”

“I just don’t see how you’re even more hyperactive than usual right now. Has anybody ever told you that you’re crepuscular?” Spencer asks, finally sliding the drawer shut and going to shut the overhead light off. Your eyes narrow. 

“Obviously nobody has told me that.”

“It means y—”

“I’m most energetic within the few hours around dusk and dawn. Contrary to your belief, Dr. Reid, other people are also capable of looking up words in a dictionary and remembering what they mean. Are you going to stand in the corner all night or are you gonna come to bed?”

“I am,” he scoffs, clearly embarrassed and shy and embarrassed of being shy. “I’m just… you look like you kick in your sleep. And hog the blankets.”

You shrug, folding your knees to your chest and hugging them quaintly. 

“I’ve never had any complaints. In fact, you should be so lucky to share a bed with me. All five star reviews, baby.” 

You toss a suggestive wink in at the end, which seems garish enough to break the tension so that Spencer can stop lingering in the corner like a sleep-paralysis demon and move to carefully take his place next to you. He almost mirrors your position, but his legs are too long to quite manage your level of compactness and so they simply fold underneath him. A few silent moments go by, in which you have the dumbest smile on your face and you keep glancing over to the side, waiting for him to be looking back at you. 

“This is already the least relaxed I have ever been in a bed.”

“Good thing we’re not going to sleep yet.”

Finally he looks at you, a casual mix of hesitance, concern, and moderate curiosity coloring his features. 

“We’re not?”

“Oh, my god, Spencer,” you snort. “I’m not gonna molest you. We have to do slumber party stuff, remember?”

He flushes again, glancing at the digital clock in his bedside table. 

“But it’s late. We should go to sleep.”

“At slumber parties you have to stay up until you literally can’t keep your eyes open anymore. Those are the rules. I don’t make them.”

Still, your insistence that you follow the international code of sleepover law goes unabided by Spencer. He simply leans over to flick off his lamp, bathing the room in darkness. 

“I appreciate the effort,” he says, and your eyes haven’t adjusted but you can hear the rustle of sheets and blankets as he gets under them, “but unfortunately we have to be awake and alert in five hours.”

“You’re no fun,” you huff, but climb under your own side of the cover and scoot down until you’re flat on your back, covered in blanket and hands folded on your sternum. 

Spencer doesn’t respond. 

It’s silent for maybe five minutes, during which your brain doesn’t slow down at all. Maybe you are crepuscular. Or slightly nocturnal. You have nothing but energy. 

In an attempt to get comfortable, you try adjusting your position.

The mattress squeaks. 

You do it again. 

Another squeak. 

A second goes by, and now you’re intentionally jostling about, squeaking the mattress as much as you can. 

“Would you stop that?” Spencer says, voice already gravelly with sleep. You manage, but you’re already devolving into a fit of giggles. “I’m going to smother you with this pillow,” he threatens, but you hear the disgruntled smile curling his words. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just not in the mood to rest.”

Another moment passes. He sighs deeply. You smile into the dark. 

“What are you in the mood for?” He asks flatly, and you’ve won. 

“Tell me a secret,” you immediately demand in a hushed tone, flipping on your side to face his back. “Something you’ve never told anyone else.”

“I don’t—”

“Shh! You have to whisper it. Those are the slumber party rules.”

“I don’t have any secrets,” he whispers, clearly flustered, and to your delight, rolling to face the ceiling. “None that you’d want to hear.”

“Oh, now that’s just not true. You’re an enigma, Spencer Reid. You fascinate me.”

You’re only sort of kidding. 

“I… fascinate you?”

“Completely. You know, ever since you moved your desk across from mine I get distracted just staring at you and wondering what you’re thinking about. But you’re very… hard to read, sometimes. I think it’s because you’re a Scorpio.”

“The position of the stars at the time I was born has no bearing on my personality.”

“Fine,” you concede, still in a glorified stage whisper. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t display the archetypal Scorpio traits. You’re all brooding, mysterious. Kinda, I don't know... intense and sexy and unknowable…”

“Sexy?” He laughs, breaking the whisper rule. You grin and let it slide. You’d hoped he would catch that one. 

“Hey,” you snap, losing the smile immediately and lightly shoving against what you hope is his shoulder. “You’re supposed to be telling me a secret, damnit. I won’t let your wiles and charm distract me from getting what I want.”

“When have you ever let anything stop you from getting what you want?”

Truly, your cheeks are going to start aching with this constant back and forth between poker-faced and huge Cheshire smile. 

“Stop flirting and answer my question, Reid.”

With the amount of times you’ve made him sigh tonight he must be dizzy. You chew your lip apprehensively in the silence, picking a loose thread on your pillow. It’s so pitch black in the room, you can’t see him where he lies only a few meager inches from you. But you can feel his presence. You can feel the unexpected bass to his voice when he’s tired and speaking this lowly, which you’ve never heard before.

“All the secrets I’ve never told anyone are just… depressing.”

Your heart sinks a little at the way he swallows between words, like that in and of itself was hard to admit. Unthinkingly your hand slides into the small gap of white cotton between the two of you. 

“Not very good slumber party material, I think,” he laughs self-consciously. 

“You’d be surprised.” 

The sentiment comes quieter and more serious than you’ve been all night. If only you had the words to tell him that he can tell you anything. That you want to hold his secrets for him under lock and key. That you would never, ever do anything less than offer him kindness and support—even if it doesn’t always seem that way when you’re teasing him. 

“Do you have any secrets you’ve never told anyone else?” He murmurs eventually, so soft it could kill you. 

And you do. There are plenty of dark ones, probably not all dissimilar from those he’d elected not to share only a moment ago. 

But you don’t bring those up. 

Instead, you decide to admit to something silly. Still, it makes you nervous as you feel it coming loose in your chest. You’ve really never told anyone this, and it’s perhaps more vulnerable than you’d realized before the words were already leaving your mouth. 

“I, have…” You pause to laugh at yourself, and continue on. “I have a stuffed dragon that I take with me on every single case.”

“You do?” Spencer laughs, so loud and unexpected it almost hurts your ears, angling his head toward you. Blood rushes to your face. 

“Yes. He usually sleeps in bed with me. He’s an excellent listener and has been the origin of several of my most genius breakthroughs. You remember Gibson Cooper?”

“Family annihilator from Houston?” 

“Correct. He’s in prison because Oscar helped me make the Cook Creek Campground connection between the O’Hara and Diangelo families.”

“You have a stuffed profiler dragon named Oscar? Is he here?”

“He’s—I mean, I wasn’t expecting to share a room with someone.”

“So he’s in your bag.”

“Yes,” you seethe, “and I will not be introducing you to him. He doesn’t do well with men.”

“You are genuinely psychotic.”

You huff.

“Fine. I’m sorry I told you anything.”

You’re about to roll over onto your other side—but Spencer surprises you by catching the hand that had been outstretched in his direction. He carefully intertwines your fingers and squeezes gently. 

“You’re right. That was mean. Thank you for telling me about Oscar.” His tone is surprisingly teasing, and you’re so uncharacteristically flustered by this rare show of physicality and affection that you can’t muster an adequate comeback. Spencer doesn’t seem to mind filling your silence, though, sounding a little more solemn now. “I’m sorry I don’t have any secrets for you.”

The way his voice gets all thin and scratchy sometimes—it’s like the earnest sincerity just pours out of him. He can’t control it. He can’t be anyone other than who he is. Maybe that’s a part of why you love him so much. You wonder if he knows how much you love him. It’s not exactly a secret—anyone on the team would be able to tell as much. You’ve been relentlessly teased for the way you are with him. For your batting lashes and your lingering touches and your unabashed flirting. But beneath it all is true affection, and nobody doubts that. 

“It’s okay,” you decide with a squeeze of your own, after a moment of deliberation. “You’ll think of something. ’Cause, y’know—you’re stuck with me for at least a few more days.”

“Oh, god,” he laughs, and releases your hand, rolling over to face away from you. But you don’t mind. You’ll get lots more time to invade his personal space over the coming week or so. “Goodnight.”

“Sweet dreams,” you sing-song, turning away to face the wall with what is perhaps your biggest, stupidest smile yet.