#but i really wrote this post for fun and not educational purposes lol

[fishareglorious]

So. Yanfei’s antlers and shedding season. You’ve might have had it as a passing thought, you might not have.

It probably is a massive shock to see her without her iconic antlers to the Liyue locals not used to it, but then she could really just pay a craftsman to make a headband with her old shed antlers and just wear and hide it under her hat or something.

But that’s not the point I’m making.

See, have you seen a deer with velvet covering its antlers?

Well, now you have.

Thing is, at some point, the deer need to shed all that fuzzy stuff to expose their antlers in all of their, well, horny glory I guess. While the process isn’t painful to them, it gets kinda bloody. The velvet is the one that supplies the nutrients to help them antlers grow, so expect a lotta blood vessels in there.

So yeah. Imagine being a client walking in her office to see that.

Or maybe you’re Yelan dropping by in the dead of night to check on her, and you almost have a heart attack at the sight of Yanfei looking like she gored someone to death with her antlers and won.

For anyone who wants to see what a deer shedding velvet looks like (TW: for Gore and Blood):

[cielsosinfel]

Favorite 2023 reads pt 2

Cus I said I'd come back and finish after making this post. I've been super busy + exhausted lately though so this will be less detailed lol (maybe, we'll see how much I ramble)

Once again, links to places I already discussed the book are added if they exist.

Fiction

Helen House by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya: This is a VERY short book, barely I novella I feel, but it has so so so so much packed into it. I'm just gonna copy what I wrote on DW:

It's a story that opens with our unnamed narrator realizing she is a terrible girlfriend, as her girlfriend Amber shares that her sister died years ago. Our narrator also has dead sister trauma, and she is coping with her grief in fun and exciting ways aka sex addiction. A ghost story steadily unfolds, but what really got to me was how this book delved into sex addiction, codependence and objectifying not just your partner(s) but also yourself. Really plunges the depths of how far someone can fall in their grief and how it radiates outward to affect others.

Idol, Burning by Usami Rin, tl Asa Yoneda: A story about Akari, a high schooler deeply obsessed with a particular male idol, deeply involved in fandom for her oshi, has her world upended when rumors circulate that he hit a woman who may be his girlfriend. This was a beautiful, amazing novel (and wonderfully translated) about a teenage girl spiraling into depression, the failures of the education system to provide meaningful support, and the fractures in a family where everyone is coping so badly with the struggles life throws at them. I found this a very, very thoughtful book on depression, social isolation, eating disorders, and living with undiagnosed learning disabilities and dyslexia. It's also a beautiful exploration of all the ways fandom can offer a lifeline in one's darkest moments, and also contribute to spiraling further and further into a depressive and self-loathing rut.

I still have complicated feelings about the ending, but I think I also still appreciate the realism of it all, and how much more relatable it made it. Even as someone who has never been involved in oshi/idol fandom, let alone Japanese fandom, it resonated a lot as a man who was a disabled, undiagnosed teen girl desperately seeking connection and purpose with online fan communities.

I read some of the original Japanese novel too and I think the language is perfect for someone still intermediate with their Japanese literacy!

A Man of Lies by Ben Crane; A former enforcer for the local mob boss fucks up big-time when he and his boyfriend (that mob boss' accountant) are caught trying to steal money to run away together. Now his boyfriend's dead and the enforcer will be too, if he doesn't pay his boss back. But he's got a much better idea what to do with the money he gets from his last big heist.

I wasn't expecting to be as into this as I was, but the writing pulled me in and didn't let go- the prose is quick and easy and never loses its pace; this would really make a perfect action film. And the plot was a lot less predictable than I was expecting; the cast was genuinely fun and endearing barring a few characters, which helps cus there are SO MANY PoVs. It's just a very fun trope-y genre romp and a good break from much heavier stories lol. I'm excited for the sequel after the damn cliffhanger this ends on.

A Guest in the House by Emily Carroll: an absolutely GORGEOUS comic (as all Carroll's comics are) about a woman struggling to fit herself into the life of her new husband and his daughter, with the ghost of his former wife ever present in the background... more literally than she wants to accept. Really good terrifying and beautiful F/F horror exploring sexuality and relationships and mental health and domestic abuse.

Poetry:

The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes on by Franny Choi

Yin Mountain: The Immortal Poetry of Three Daoist Women by Rebecca Nie and Peter Levitt

Postcolonial Love Poem by Natalie Diaz

[loved2]

I love writing and reading so much. I would love to write a book some day but i don’t think it would be any good. I write poems basically everyday but it would be so scary to take it seriously. My boss and old friends keep encouraging me to drop a book about all my family (trauma) drama lmao i have a lot to say they have made life so heavy for me but i love them too much to ever let the rest of the world perceive them this way. I have also been very good in (at?) english ever since i was a kid but i don’t have the reach for even typing out small posts like this sometimes and i guess that’s okay it’s better to bite the tongue than rip it out i guess (idk what i just wrote what does that even mean but #relatable). Sometimes when i read your posts i think i sound like a toddler bc i type exactly how i think like this shit never ends and i go off track for a minimum of 5 times in every post. And its kinda become a habit to sound like i have no brain i love typing posts without proper sentences on purpose. N e ways i will be spending 2023 reading, writing, reading, reading, crying until my eyes bleed. Very excited bc i have a very diverse reading list so no more hyperfixating on just one genre at a time. Also thinking about actually blogging my actual thoughts instead of just my daily rants lmao bc i’ve been wanting to improve my english and sound more *academic* for like 2 years now but instead i keep learning 3 other languages every year bc that sounds more fun in my head. Yes very 9th profection year indeed. Yesterday i attended my aunt’s inauguration as professor and i wanted to finally attend university just so i could have extremely intellectual conversations lmao there really is no other motivation for me to go except for the vain pursuit of becoming an academic and sounding smarter. I think i am very wise maybe just bc of my trauma and having to be an adult since i was like 10 and i can have intellectual conversations and understand it but creating complex sentence sounds very… complex to me. I also think i am wise in life but not in education obviously eventhough i graduated at the top of my class. Also that time i was supposed to enjoy education i was too busy thinking about life too much so thats a blur now lol. Sorry for your eyes in advance xx I’ll write a post in a month and you’ll be thinking wow when did you start writing like this?? Sorry for being an absolute academic genius :*

[drosselmeyerwrites]

20 Questions: Writer's Edition!

Thank you for the tag, @chierafied! I'm sorry for such a late response!

***

1. How many works do you have on AO3? I believe I have 45!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 221,141 - started in 2019

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Fandoms currently posted include Inuyasha and Doctor Who. But the first fanfic (unpublished and lost now) I ever wrote was for Gundam Wing, and I'm currently working on my first Zelda - Breath of the Wild piece.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? E Pluribus Unum When winning against Naraku takes everyone from them, Sesshoumaru and Kagome find themselves suddenly thrust together and trying to survive their grief as they figure out how to get rid of the completed jewel and move on with their lives. When Comes the Rain A miko and a demon lord share a common interest when it rains, and in the quiet and peace of these stolen moments, something neither of them could have predicted begins to grow...

On Unexpected Love It's by chance that they happen across each other again, but it's by choice that they don't let each other go.

Chasing Your Tail When an item up for auction offers Kagome a piece of her past, she jumps at the chance to hold onto it. But she may be getting more than she bargained for when that past bids against her and then follows her home...

Fixer Upper 500 years and a fixer upper are no match for married mayhem...

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes. On AO3. I don't post on other sites anymore, but their system was more difficult to work with. But AO3 makes it very easy, and it's one of my favorite things about the platform. If someone takes the time to write me a comment, it makes my day, and I'm going to respond back to them, even if it's only to say thank you. But I love it when there's the opportunity to discuss what's happening in the story and answer questions!

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Probably Until Death because it dealt with tragedy and was left open ended. There's still hope there though.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Morning Light. It's a proposal one-shot.

8. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Crossovers have never been my thing, but I have one planned - potentially. We'll see if I ever get to it. But it's a crossover between Zelda and Inuyasha.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic? I have. I'm all for constructive criticism - that helps me do better as a writer. But there have been a few comments here and there that go beyond that. Most of the time I ignore that. Recently I did not because the comment crossed some major lines that could potentially affect other readers, so I made my opinion on their attitude known there. I believe in constructive and effective criticism and embrace that. But I won't put up with readers going out of their way just to be an ass. That's a disservice to fandom in general.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind? LOADED QUESTION, lol! I like to think I write love and/ or intimacy. If I write a sex scene, it's going to be with a purpose that fits within the context of the story. Personal bit of info - I'm demi. So, smut for smut's sake has never been my thing (no shade to those who feel otherwise!). In my case, I just don't go there. Any sex scene I've included in my work is there for a reason (though it may not always seem that way to readers). But if asked, I can explain why I included every single one I've written and why I felt the scene added to the story. I do enjoy exploring the different facets of sex within a relationship, particularly because PWP isn't my thing, and I want to see the connection that intimacy brings explored. So, I don't shy away from writing it (though writing friends can attest to the almost panic attacks I have including it).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge. But I have had writing stolen before in my professional life, so I feel pretty adequately prepared to deal with it should the time come. Hopefully not though.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have not! Someday I want to finish translating EPU into Spanish. I've had people request it before, but I'm just not comfortable yet allowing people I do not know to translate what I've written.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Tried. It's not my thing. I'm too particular with how I write (as most writers are), and I find collaboration difficult. It's hard for me to stay motivated to work on co-written fics. As a rule now, I just don't do it, but I would make and exception for one person (you know who you are!) because we have this weird brainwave thing going on, and it might just work, lol.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? It is, likely unsurprisingly, SessKag. Though, I am really enjoying exploring the various ships within the Zelda fandom.

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? Deseo a una estrella.

16. What are your writing strengths? I feel like I can never evaluate myself on these matters, so I'm going to go with what others have told me and trust them. The comments I get most about my writing tend to be about how I say a lot with very few words and then an ability to evoke strong feelings and emotion. I have appreciated that feedback and hope my writing truly reflects that!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I am a SLOW writer. Between life and a tendency to overanalyze the most ridiculous things, it's hard to just punch work out.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I love it, lol. Foreign language has been a part of my educational background since elementary school and was always my favorite subject. So, I get really excited to see other languages pop up in fic. An unpublished piece (SessKag) I'm working on called Beneath the Eternal Blue Sky actually includes a language I created to use in fic. Tribal inuyoukai group (Sesshoumaru's extended family) has their own native language, and that's fun for me to play with. Poor Kagome though, lol.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Gundam Wing! But the first piece I ever published was for Inuyasha.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? This changes every time I'm asked. But right now? Probably the EPU one shot First Blush. I hit publish accidentally more than once when writing this, so I apologize for the mess that made! Tagging @sereia1313, @jafndaegur, @stormielikeweather, and @ladygoshawk if they want to participate!

[woodsiessilverduckies]

My view on Jumin Han and the MASSIVE effect his route had on me

Look it’s late I should be asleep let me rant about this legend, also I’m sorry this turned out to be an essay but honestly what I wrote is really important to me

He might just be my favourite fiction character ever because I relate to him so hard

From what I’ve played so far-

((I haven’t finished every route of every character, in fact I only played 1 Jumin route and I got a bad ending around day 9. Why don’t I play more if I claim to love him so much? SCHOOL))

-his route really managed to capture a lot of what I’ve been through, on a really personal level.

I think I started to realise we were in similar shoes when he talked about his father and his relationships (my dad has literally been with more girls then I can count)

Also my dad isn’t a good person, I’ll come out and say he’s an asshole to everyone. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like, that I don’t have fun with him sometimes and that I don’t enjoy being around him

I’ve read a lot of fan fiction, experience a lot of people’s ocs, seen a lot of media where terrible parents are made out to be absolute evils. But Jumin’s route was the first thing I’ve seen to make me go “...Finally. Someone finally understands.”

Another thing Mystic Messenger managed to represent wasn’t a hate Jumin harboured towards his father, or some type of warped love either. Just pure indifference when it came to the aspects of his father he disliked.

I can not emphasis enough how true this is!! I can’t count on both hands the times my dad’s picked me up from school with a girl I don’t know in the car, or when I walk into a room I don’t know with a woman in it I’ve never met.

I’m never confused, angry or disappointed when this happens; just indifferent. Try and be polite but also make sure not to get attached at all (both of which I do without even realising). Just pure indifference. Like how he was on his phone during dinner.

This was my second “Finally someone represents it right.” Moment.

From then on I was already attached.

Something I noticed about Jumin (though I may be reading too into things) is that he always has so much pressure on his shoulders. But, I don’t think that pressure is from his father, he seems pretty chill about Jumin’s whole “heir to the company” situation.

That pressure may have stemmed from his responsibilities, but Jumin put it all on himself.

I understand this so much. Both my parents have rather good jobs (or had... in the very least they had amazing education) and I’ve always been a smart child praised by them

But my mum puts no pressure on me at all. Well she does but only the normal amount. And my father the same, pretty much. Yet I still have to be at the top of the top class, the smartest of the smart, I’m always more disappointed in myself then they are in me.

I definitely feel like this is something Jumin struggles with.

Along with that pressure, he’ll never let anyone see him break. I’ve talked about my family life more in this post then I have to anyone irl. Why? Because I’m the smart, happy girl. The perfect student, perfect daughter, perfect friend, honestly I think I’m the empitomu of normal if I don’t consider my family life.

Jumin is like that too to an extent. He’s never going to let someone else see him break (unless they’re me of course, but we don’t all have mc’s in our lives lol). It really hits deep, ya know?

At this point I was beyond loving his character. Because Jumin was just incredible, beyond that even. A real representation of what I’ve been through, I’m genuinely in love with him.

Also, there are things we have in common on a basic level too; a love to an extent it’s practically religion for cats, casually formal and proper, and honestly I thought he was funny! Like seriously guys his jokes weren’t actually bad they made me laugh a lot!

It reached a point where I was so into Jumin’s route that every visual novel scene I would find my cat and cuddle with her while playing (funnily enough she’d a black ragdol so she looks a lot like what I imagine Jumin would look like if he was a cat).

So then, I vividly remember reaching a scene where Jumin starts talking to Elizabeth the third. He knew it was unhealthy that he trusted a cat more than any human being, and that the Elizabeth the third doesn’t actually understand what he’s saying, he’s just deluded himself into thinking that.

So this makes me look down at the cat in my arms, the cat who shared my bed most nights for the past eight years, the cat that’s seen my cry more then twice as much as any real human being, the cat who I’ve always spilled my heart out to and imagined as my best, most understanding friend.

//FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK//

I got the bad ending on purpose because I’d heard about the bad endings for Jumin and I was done being serious I just wanted some time to laugh and something to remind me that Jumin Han is not Jesus himself despite bringing me the realisation of a lifetime

Obviously I don’t relate to Jumin exactly, I’m not the son of a corporate legend and I’m sure Jumin’s never had to worry about his families financial status, and I bet he doesn’t have any of the problems I do with my health

Still crazy in love with Jumin though and this is how I am a Jumin Stan to death without being a kinky queen

I genuinely see him as a very wholesome and loving character because, well, because I see him as myself. I think he’d be so kind and gentle to MC because unlike anything else he owns, he can’t just buy a new one if she breaks, his money can’t solve any issues with her, and that’s what I think he needs

To summarise I need recommendations for wholesome Jumin fanfics or literally any Jumin fanfic lemon without all the kinky stuff please it’s surprisingly hard to find

[myulalie]

On modern comment culture

First off, I’d like to make the distinction between honesty, and being hurtful under the pretense of being honest.

Hate, be it anon or not, is hurting someone’s feelings on purpose.

You can receive hate and be a hater too. It might be easier, even, to go from the hate you receive on your work, and take it out onto someone else’s.

Here is how I picture a hater's mind: “easy to pour some hate into a comment section, you don't see the person and they receive nice comments. They probably won't even notice.”

Sometimes, constructive criticism, even with your best interests at heart, hurts.

We don’t expect it, it’s not what we meant to write, or we just didn’t worry about how our work could be perceived.

It might be a very European vs American perception of criticism, and I aspire to get better, so the choice I made is to receive constructive criticism (concrit for short).

I wish someone would tell me if I’m writing something that doesn’t work, and why it doesn’t. I wish someone would point it out if I misuse a word.

Positive feedback is great and encouraging, actual comments about what someone likes/dislikes and why is helpful.

Not wanting any concrit is the author’s choice and I respect it. This is the reason I only offer concrit to anyone who told me they’re interested.

I wish concrit was still a thing

Modern comment culture is protective of authors, and there is a general agreement that concrit, especially unsolicited, is unnecessary.

I fully support the fact that fanfic authors are writing for free, so they deserve basic respect for their work.

This doesn’t give them the right to be assholes.

You put your work out there, you have a responsibility to at the very least let people know you’re not interested in concrit, and to disable/moderate comments if you don’t want them.

If someone comes to bug you when you explicitly mentioned you’re not interested in concrit then yeah, by all means, tell them to fuck off.

I think it’s important to let haters know their behavior is unacceptable. As they say, the only way to deal with a bully is to punch them in the face (or make them face the consequences of their actions as a general rule).

The author’s reply to hate tells a lot about them, but their reply to concrit also does.

Being polite should be a given.

And it goes both ways!

Readers are offering concrit for free too, they take the time to do so because they genuinely want to help. They enjoy your story enough to want to interact with you.

I’ve had a lot more comments than usual with kinktober, and I’ve built up a new habit of replying the next day before or after posting my daily take on the prompts.

I am aware that the amount of comments I receive is manageable, and some people have to deal with a lot more every day (like, hundreds).

In my experience, replying to short and sweet comments can be challenging because a simple thank you message isn’t personal enough, and you as a writer don’t have much content to actually reply to either.

Longer comments often open up more possibilities to reply, even if it’s just to let the reader know how you felt when reading their comment.

I believe that no matter how shy or busy you are, copying and pasting a little thank you message isn’t that difficult, and doesn’t take that long. You could even leave a note in each new chapter to let your readers know you read their comments and appreciate them.

Acknowledging readers will encourage them to comment your fics more, and potentially to the benefit of other authors too.

Don’t start fights because of concrit

Readers, please know that a simple heart as additional kudos goes a long way. Saying what you liked or just that you're enjoying the story is really encouraging too!

If you’d like to leave concrit, maybe formulate your comment as a question instead of pointing something out, to avoid upsetting the author.

I’m sure you mean well when you leave a comment, and you don’t want to discourage the author if you like what they’re writing!

If the author is open to concrit, they’ll probably reply to your question and ask their own, which leads to a conversation. Better safe than sorry, offer concrit and wait for them to agree, there is no use in getting into a fight with the author.

A better use of your time as a reader would be to read even more, I’m not getting in the way of your fun, or go and offer comments & concrit to someone who is interested in what you have to say.

As a writer, I guess you can always write more, and maybe thank readers for their kind words!

How to establish dialogue with your readers

Disclaimer: I’m still learning, and the amount of comments I receive compared to my free time is manageable. Before you proceed, please note I asked my reader for permission to use their comments as examples.

Myulalie: I would like to make a tumblr post about comments and include yours as an example.

It's to explain why I value them and how I proceed to reply, because I have strong feelings about author/reader relationships ^^

Would you be okay with that? It's totally fine if you're not, I am asking for permission because I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

Also, if you agree and for some reason change your mind once you've read the tumblr post, I'll remove it, no questions asked ^^

Reader: I don’t mind at all, I know a lot of people don’t leave feedback, for a variety of reasons, so any education in how/why is always important. I’m just glad my comments fall in to the good category 😁

Thanks for asking, you have my permission to use any you like.

The context is as follows: The characters went on vacation and asked friends to pet-sit their cats. I then used the characters’ cats as plot devices for the characters to move in together. A cat hid under the sink and refused to leave, which brought forth the “moving in” conversation.

Reader: Alcohol + other person = trautamised cat and an empty drinks cabinet... which I would be making them restock, oh and embarrassed friends... the cat might want to stay but I know the signs of a traumatised let.. sometimes taking a chance on something turns out to be the best thing in your life, so far, until the proposal

This reader is lovely and has been commenting on every chapter of this story, as well as some other stories. We never had any issue whatsoever and even chatted about their cat.

This is what I consider a good relationship, and when I read this comment I was surprised. I did not expect them to interpret the story this way.

The fact is, this reader is “wrong” because it’s not what I meant when I wrote (nothing happened to the cat, the alcohol part of the chapter is not related to the cat’s behavior).

This reader is also right because this IS what I wrote. The cat is hiding for plot purposes, but the plot also includes the pet-sitters getting drunk. I implied them making out, then regretting it later, thus behaving weirdly around each other, which was meant as comic relief.

I have seen replies to similar comments and needless to say people get into fights over such misunderstandings.

Here is my reply:

Myulalie: I would like to make the official statement that nothing bad happened to the cats D:

Ragnor & Jace's shenaningans were meant to hint at drunk making out and nothing more. The worse thing Church had to go through is second hand embarrassment I promise ♥ I can't bring myself to traumatise Church and I'm glad you pointed out that it sorts of look like something was wrong with him ^^ The only thing "wrong" is the plot device I used to have malec move in together haha :')

I appreciate this reader trusting me enough to point this out and letting me know how they feel.

I think it’s important to be aware of how this can be read. A beta would probably have told me how the chapter looked from an external point of view and suggested writing the same idea differently. As things are, I didn’t have a beta-reader for this fic.

Here is the reader’s reply:

Reader: Lol, good to know, although in my experience cats bring it on themselves, nosy little voyeurs that they are....

See how we solved the problem by simply having a conversation? This is why I appreciate concrit and do my best to treat readers well.

edit: upon checking in with the reader to make sure the post sat well with them, they told me they never meant it as criticism and actually found the chapter funny, their comment was written in a sarcastic manner that I totally missed!

There, you have it. I am full of good intentions and I still miss some of the meaning of the comment!

There was a second comment on the following chapter.

I’ll just mention that one of the cats dipped his paws in a can of paint and made a mess on the wall. One of the character makes a pet account on Instagram to post pictures of the cat’s “artwork” with paint.

Reader: I always love a story that ends on a happy ever after, although I do think alec was taking a big chance tying the rings to the cats collars, especially after the paint incident... we won’t go in to what I think of people having Instagram accounts for their pets, although the paining does sound nice...

This was a very cute story and I’m glad that they found their forever person :grin:

If you don’t get it, this reader and me disagree on pet accounts.

The fact is, they are allowed to express themselves, and they did it respectfully. I don’t think this comment is rude, and I don’t think this reader feels “entitled”. Quite the contrary, they’re polite and felt comfortable enough to let me know what they think.

I didn’t argue with them. My reply consisted in politely reminding everyone who might read this story that this is a work of fiction, and that it’s here for both the reader’s and the author’s entertainment.

Myulalie: Well, I definitely don't recommend doing your proposal this way IRL, fortunately stories are a safe space to make crazy proposals for entertainment's sake :')

I'm glad you liked the ending! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me all throughout the story, I really appreciated our chats ♥

edit: I thought we disagreed. We chatted again and they told me they don't have IG so they don't see the point of running 2 accounts, which fair. Because I used to run a pet account for my dog, I felt "attacked" where I absolutely wasn't.

One more example of misinterpretation!

I think the only way forward is together.

Authors deserve respect for their work, it doesn’t exempt them from being polite. Readers might need some sort of education on “comment etiquette”, and should be respected in return.

I want this platform to be a safe space for authors AND for readers.

[cakesandfail]

Got tagged to do a thing by @sassysnowperson- thank you!

Author Name:

I’m ‘gemothy’ on AO3, which should give you a little hint at just how pun-centric my writing is.

Fandoms You Write For:

Discworld, mostly, with a bit of historical fiction thrown in. I’ve also written for a few other things in crossover snippets, particularly on here- usually Harry Potter, but on one occasion it was Monty Python’s Flying Circus. More on that later.

Where You Post:

AO3, generally, though fic meme prompts and such get posted on here. There’s also a few bits on kink memes here and there.

Most Popular One-Shot:

In terms of kudos, it’s A novel idea, a Vimes/Vetinari fic where they lie in bed and read shitty fanfic of themselves.

In terms of hits, it’s Country Matters, a Three Musketeers fic based on the recent-ish BBC series. It’s mostly about sex education from one idiot (Aramis) to another (d’Artagnan).

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story:

I’ve only got one lmao

It’s What’s Past is Prologue, another Vetinari/Vimes one and the only thing I’ve written that has anything remotely resembling an actual plot. It’s still very silly though, don’t let the fact that it’s a bit longer than usual fool you.

Favorite Story You Wrote:

Everyone probably knows this already because it’s the one I always talk about, but: Ankh and Accountability. Vetinari is so much fun to write, especially if you take the opportunity to speculate about his rise to power.

This one is my favourite partly because Vetinari is my number one fave, and partly because I’ve always been really pleased with the way it turned out. I’m rarely as happy with the way fics turn out as I was when I finished this one, and I had a great time writing it too.

Story You Were Nervous to Post:

Flexible Working- it’s the only explicit fic I’ve posted on AO3 and I was really nervous about it. It’s only short, and not actually particularly explicit overall, but... well, I’m ace, and I don’t know what I’m talking about when it comes to this sort of thing. Except that maybe I do? Because it got a pretty good reception. Who knew, eh?

How Do You Pick Your Titles:

They’re all sitcom episode titles.

I’m joking, to some extent- they’re not literally sitcom episode titles recycled for fanfiction. But I do use the general principles of “is this funny” and “what would be a suitable pune (or play on words) to use here”

Things that tend to crop up regularly include: lines from Shakespeare, other literary references, and dreadful puns. Those aren’t deliberately recurring themes, they just happen. I have started to use a theme on purpose for vetvimes fics though, and it’s ‘corporate jargon that sounds like innuendo and/or feelings’.

Do You Outline:

....well. Technically yes, in that I’ll jot down the gist of an idea when I get it so I can actually write the thing later, and I did do it for What’s Past is Prologue, but uhhhhhhhhhhhh not for fic memes, generally, because those tend to be fairly short.

How Many of Your Stories are complete:

Everything on AO3 is complete, or at least every chapter that exists is self-contained. I have more WIPs than I care to admit to, though.

In-Progress:

Nothing published! But I’ve got a few bits and pieces in the works. There’s a thing about Vetinari going “oh right, that’s what sexual attraction is like” (as if I know lol), and an extremely silly Doctor Who/History Monks crossover. Those are the ones most likely to end up making an appearance.

Coming Soon:

The aforementioned “welcome to middle age, guess who’s demi now” fic, probably. I write non-fiction all day at work and work has been busy as fuck so it’s taking a while to do anything for fun at the moment, unfortunately, but I really do want to get this one done, and done well.

Do You Accept Prompts:

I do! I can never guarantee anything particularly long in response to prompts, but I do take them, especially if there’s an askbox meme going around.

If you want something, do feel free to ask, and I’ll see what I can do. You all know what sort of things I like, I’m sure I can have a go at something other than grumpy old city dads if you like ;)

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For:

Bold of you to assume I can muster up that much enthusiasm when it takes me all my time to write anything in the first place. Ask me again at Christmas when work’s calmed down and I’ve got some time off for fiction, then I can give you a proper answer.

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions:

aw shit uhhh loads of people I know write and now I can’t remember any of them, fuck

@bigdiscenergy @july-19th-club @treesinspace you all write, right? @patricianandclerk I know you do but I also know you’ve answered a lot of questions like these fairly recently so don’t feel obliged to do these as well

[a-v-e-z-a]

Fanfic of Fanfic, or Fanfic Squared

So... y’all know that @ahiddenpath is my fellow Digimon fanfic writing ladybro. 

She’s been exceptionally critical in why I’ve written as much Digimon fanfiction as I have, because a) she has always been supportive and encouraging when it comes to my writing and b) she sets an inspiring example for the craft of writing itself. 

Moreover, the plots and settings and characterizations that she develops are SO GOOD. They have--and continue--to influence my own writing, so much to the point where I found myself writing fanfiction of HER FANFICTION. 

YES. YOU READ THAT RIGHT. 

So, in honor of Fanfic Author Appreciation Day, I thought I’d share a snippet from my fanfic of her fanfic Four Years. 

Scenario is simple: Tai has a harebrained scheme involving getting the Chosen to run an obstacle race (think Spartan or Tough Mudder sort of of thing). Chaos ensues. 

I may or may not eventually post this on FF.net. Part of me is too embarrassed (like, really? Fanfiction of fanfiction?) But, honestly, why the hell not? 

But for now, here’s a tidbit. 

And if you read this, Hidden, I hope you’re not abashed or angry. I just love that story too much. I can’t help it. lol. 

More below:

King of the Mountain 

(Excerpt)

Izzy followed Amy unwillingly down the creaky staircase, each step dropping onto the next with a plodding thud. Tai had called a general house meeting, the nature of which happened to be important enough to merit an emailed invitation—which didn’t make sense. He, Tai, Amy, Sora, Matt, Mimi, Joe, and Hana all lived in the same house, rented from Mimi’s father. If Tai wanted a meeting, all he had to do was yodel, “Asses in the living room! Now!”

“You know that was probably Hana’s idea,” remarked Amy, seemingly able to peer into his thoughts. Izzy glanced up from his feet and looked at her as they reached the first floor.

“The email invitation?” he asked, wondering if he had, in fact, been muttering his musings aloud.

“Tai is not a planner, Izzy.” She passed him into the living room. “It was definitely Hana.”

Her lack of suspicion over the meeting had Izzy pursuing her with a wrinkling brow. True, Tai was the innovative one, chockfull of ideas—crazy and some, surprisingly, astute—but Hana was the orchestrator, the executor, the (perhaps less endearingly) conniver. She was the Loki to Tai’s Thor. Izzy would never admit fear, but the two of them together did present a certain force majeure.

Everyone else was already in the room, situated in various (or favorite) spots. Izzy was surprised to find Ken and Davis sitting on the floor, in front of the couch Matt, Sora, Joe, and Mimi occupied. Kari and TK were also, oddly, present. They shared half of a mismatched loveseat, the latter sitting on the armrest rather than on the cushions. Kari must have spotted them both. She gestured at the empty spot beside her.

Amy sat, and Izzy, mimicking TK, parked his bony rump on the opposing arm rest. He crossed his arms.

Hana sat in a folding chair by the front of the room, adjacent to the TV. Her laptop rested flat on her thighs, Tai leaning over behind her, pointing at the screen at things the rest of them couldn’t see. Despite sending the invitation, the appointed start time was not respected.

Izzy rolled his eyes, annoyed with the needless tax on his time.

“So, guys…” TK pitched his body towards them, nearly falling over Kari before she extended a hand and corrected his balance. Stable, TK continued, his voice dropping low. “What do you think’s going on? I thought this was a house meeting, but we don’t even live here and we got invited. Davis and Ken, too.”

“You seem to have ideas already, comrade,” Amy replied, supplying the prompt TK didn’t need to share his theories. “Let’s hear them.”

The smile he cracked split open too readily, white teeth gleaming, blue eyes shining with light.

“You don’t think they are going to announce they’re getting married, right?” he conjectured. Izzy sputtered an unpleasant sound, as if he were being throttled, rudely depleted of oxygen.

Amy set a hand on his shoulder and patted, gently. She gave TK a knowing look.

“You did that on purpose.”

The freshman did nothing to conceal his shame. He grinned widely.

“Sorry. Had to do something to wake up the senses. Everyone’s been complaining when they enter the room. That’s no fun.”

Amy tipped her head, unknowingly (or knowingly) leaning into Izzy as she considered the observation.

“Have they?” she asked.

“Yeah,” TK reaffirmed. “No one is even contemplating the possibilities of such a meeting. I mean, what if they are planning a trip?”

“In the middle of the school year?” questioned Izzy, insulted by the sheer inconsideration of such a proposal. “That smacks of massive irresponsibility. And even if they were, it doesn’t merit a scheduled, one-hour meeting on a Sunday.” He continued to rant. “Any trip information could be shared and coordinated via email. That is why cloud-based share drives exist.”

A testy silence followed. Izzy returned his glance to the others in the room, how they were preoccupied with side conversations with their neighbors, apparently not as concerned about the now late meeting the two people at the front of the room had arranged. He felt Amy shift behind him, her body peeling away, and he peeked over his shoulder to see what had caught her attentions.

She faced TK, who had tipped forward himself, the edge of his hand pressed to his cheek.

“Did you give him his vitamins this morning?” he heard him ask. “Because yikes.”  

Izzy snorted.

Both Kari and Amy admonished TK in their flippant, doting way. Amy shook a finger at him and Kari poked a dimple.

As tempted (or provoked) as Izzy was to rebut, he never received the opportunity. Tai clapped his hands, once and loudly, and the room quieted.

“You’re probably wondering why I’ve called this meeting…”

Izzy tried to soften his glare to a stare of mild disgruntlement, going so far as to rub his forehead to smooth away any furrows—if only for politeness. If Tai could read on anyone’s faces a hint of displeasure or a roll of the eyes, his enthusiasm was no less incandescent. His hands were fused at the palms, suggesting he’d start rubbing them together maniacally like Dr. Frankenstein’s mad lab assistant.

“I’ll get right to it.”

He turned sharply and volleyed finger guns at Hana, who, playing along, saluted him with a wink. Laptop keys were pressed, and in a second, the blank TV screen behind Tai lit up to show the black and orange vector graphic of what looked like the silhouettes of a man and a craggy, forested horizon.

Tai stepped aside and gestured at the image like a magician completing his trick—proudly, and with a dash of flair.

“Anyone know what this is the logo of?” he asked.

Izzy’s poor posture worsened. He slumped, planting elbow on knee and chin on raised fist like an emaciated version of Rodin’s The Thinker. Tai’s prompt had all about it the beginnings of an infomercial. He was the smooth-talking spokesperson and marketeer, shouting questions at an audience cued to reply monosyllabic answers in loud and spiritless unison.

True to his metaphor, his group of friends began offering their thoughts.

“The Bionic Man?”

“Daniel Boone.”

“Forrest Gump?”

“Sasquatch.”

With the quality of educated guesses deteriorating (if any were educated to begin with), Tai closed the call for suggestions.

“What the hell, TK?” he yipped. He didn’t so much point at the screen as he poked it. “You think that’s fucking Bigfoot?”

“Brawny guy in the woods, my dude,” TK replied, calmly. “It practically wrote itself.”

With a snort, Tai again tapped the screen with his finger.

“This,” he explained, “is the logo for the race ‘King of the Mountain.’”

Despite the regal name, it inspired no immediate curiosity or interest. The room simmered in silence, all of them collectively trying to find the significance in Tai’s words. No one even asked the obvious. “What is ‘King of the Mountain,’ Tai?” Instead, Mimi used the time to express her displeasure with the gendered name.

“Why not ‘Queen’? Better yet—royalty.”

“Jesus Christ,” Tai muttered. “It’s a name. Girls can be kings and vice versa. Anyway, it’s a race, all right? Held on a local and national level.”

“Oh, like a marathon?” piped Davis.

“Yeah!” Tai jumped, perhaps overjoyed someone had finally shown intrigue. “Well… sort of. Marathons are 26.2 miles, Davis. King of the Mountain—max—doesn’t even reach half.”

Davis scratched his collarbone, prompting a slight puff of the chest.

“Walk in the park if you ask me,” he boasted, glimpsing at Ken.

“Dude, you didn’t let me finish. King of the Mountain goes anywhere from ten to twelve miles, but along those miles will be a series of up to twenty-five obstacles you’ll need to get through to reach the finish line.”

“Obstacles?”

“Twenty-five?”

Tai looked at Hana, and the screen blipped to its next slide, which listed all twenty-five potential obstacles. In skimming the list, Izzy found events colorfully and deceptively named “Ice fishing,” “The Matterhorn,” “Lightning Rod,” “Mudskipper,” and “Krakatoa!” Whoever named the events might as well have been captioning images in a history textbook.

“And there you have them,” said Tai. “Next slide.”

It surprised Izzy little that Tai forewent any explanation whatsoever into the particulars of the dubiously named events. Luckily, hands rose and interjections voiced the instant the slides changed.

“What in God’s name is the Executioner?”

“That doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

“Or life threatening.”

“The hell kind of race is this?”

Exasperated, Tai shut the disturbed and muttering public with a sharp “Just hold it! Jesus!”

Outburst released, he turned, more calmly, to his girlfriend. “Han, can you go back to the previous slide?”

“Firstly,” Tai resumed, “the race, as I’ve said, is only a maximum of twelve miles.”

Only? Izzy retorted. He could barely run a mile, let alone eleven more, with God knows what booby traps lie in wait. Did he also really intend for Amy to run the same race?

“Secondly, the race isn’t tomorrow, or next week, or in three weeks. It’s in three months. We have plenty of time to train and prepare. Speaking of—Han, skip ahead a bit, please.”

Izzy’s brain still buzzed from Tai’s unexpected foresight. He shared Amy’s opinion that Tai rarely planned for anything, but to plan for something three months ahead of schedule qualified as a miracle. Though, all it took was for Izzy to peek in Hana’s direction, and there was his answer. She regarded her boyfriend with an affectionate, engaged attention, nodding subtly in agreement with his points, one crossed leg swinging idly in his direction.

“Now, there’s a prize for the team that completes the race first—along with individual winners—but I thought this would be a great thing to do as a group.”

Never one to avoid publicly contesting Tai’s harebrained schemes, Matt raised a hand, though he was already speaking before Tai acknowledged him.

“Tai, not all of us are athletes.”

About half of the heads in the room nodded, encouraged by the challenge. Izzy nodded so vehemently his chin nearly hit his clavicle.

“The hell did I just say, guys?” Tai answered, exasperated. “This is three months away. If you aren’t an athlete now, you will be by then.”

Izzy raised his eyebrows, momentarily distracted by the mechanics Tai hoped to employ to reach such an end. But the curiosity was short lived when he realized he would be subject to those designs.

TK raised a hand, pointing a pen at Tai like a reporter at a press conference.

“I noticed you are using the general, pluralized ‘you,’” he began, “is it your intention to involve all persons present in this athletic endeavor?”

Tai shrugged, crossing his arms.

“Well, not all,” he admitted, a tad too readily, a natural at the hypothetical pulpit.

“What do you mean?” Matt demanded.

“Could you elaborate?”

TK’s softer, more professional question was overwhelmed by Matt’s complaint, and Tai answered the former.

“It means not everyone will participate in the race.”

“So, what?” Matt countered. Sora laid a hand on his shoulder, ever sensitive to her beau’s warning signs. “You going to run a lottery to see which of us has to do this with you?”

As acidly as the question was given, Tai was impervious to its sting, as if he were forcefielded against negative feedback—or cobra spit. Their fearless leader even smirked.

“If you’re not up to task, Matt,” he said. “Just admit it. No shame.”

The instant Matt stood, Hana rose as well, all five or so feet of her. Carefully, she set down her laptop and stepped in front of her boyfriend, though not without shooting him a pointed look.

She opened her twiggy arms the way actresses on stage performing Shakespeare did, like they were swans unfurling their wings, placating the tense air.

“Everyone can calm the fuck down,” she said, in contrast to her soothing movements. “This isn’t the Hunger Games, okay? We understand that not everybody here is an athlete, but we have arranged a regimen that includes diet and training, each generally accommodated to everyone’s schedules. We also looked at everyone’s strengths and weaknesses and took that into consideration, too.”

Matt sat back down, but his anger was replaced with indigestion.

“Holy shit,” he breathed. “You’re not giving us the option to say no, are you?”

“It’s called the power of preparation, Matt,” replied Hana, all smiles, evidently pleased with herself.  

“Yeah, and anyway,” Tai interjected, with a shrug, “I already bought us the tickets and ordered team shirts, so… it’s a done deal.”

The blond musician’s well-coiffed head sprang up.

“You inconsiderate son of a bitch,” he growled. “You stinking little—”

[skammovistarplus]

Culture and Translation - S01 E01 C01-05

Welcome to the first post in what a I hope is a series of thorough cultural and linguistic explanations. I’ve had a lot of fun learning about other cultures from other Skam remakes, and I’m seriously looking forward to sharing Spanish high school culture with people abroad. 

This first post was getting pretty long, so I decided to stop with clip 5. There should be a second part coming at some point. 

General notes:

All of the characters pepper their speech with discourse markers. You can read up on those at the link, but they are words and phrases that, generally, don’t change the meaning of the sentence. Some of the most typical discourse markers in English are: oh, well, now, then, you know, I mean. By contrast, these are some of the discourse markers the characters use: pues, es que, bueno, eh, a ver.

Even though they have no real value at the meaning level because they don’t change the meaning of the sentence, I have tried to include as many discourse markers as possible. The main reason I’ve done that is because the characters are teenagers, and teen slang commonly uses a lot of discourse markers (see: Valleyspeak). The second reason is that they add nuance to a scene or a character. The more chill a character is in a certain scene, the more discourse markers they will use. And vice versa.

Ciao: I have opted to translate all instances of “chao” as ciao. As in English, “chao” is an Italian loanword, which origin is ciao. “Chao” is a common usage word, in that it’s not perceived as Italian by Spanish speakers. However, the way it sounds is recognizable to English speakers as ciao. I’ve decided to keep it, instead of using something else like bye. Spanish speakers already have many other ways of saying bye, so I find it pointless to translate “chao” as something else when English speakers already understand what it means from sound alone.

As happened in the OG and many of the remakes, the characters use a lot of English loanwords. Chalk this up to American cultural imperialism. By the way, I find it strange that people have no issues with the European characters peppering their speech with English loanwords, but seem to think the Austin characters peppering their speech with Spanish loanwords is unrealistic. Texas used to be part of Mexico, for one, and for two, they use Spanish loanwords because it’s part of their upbringing, their characters, and the culture they live in. Just something I thought I should note.

The characters swear, and swear often. Spanish people of all ages swear as often as the characters in Skam do. I will get to each specific swear word as it comes up.

CLIP 1: Last day of summer vacation

Bachilller/Bachillerato: Already wrote about it on Twitter. Bachillerato, or Baccalaureate or Upper Secondary School, is a type of schooling that prepares students for university. It consists of two grades: first and second. Eva, and all the characters born in 2002, are starting Bachillerato this year.

There are five kinds of Bachillerato tracks: International, Arts, Sciences, Humanities and Social Sciences. Not every high school offers all five tracks, which is why some students will transfer to a different high school for a specific track.

Most Spanish high schools offer both the Mandatory Secondary Education (or ESO) program and the Baccalaureate program. This is why some of the characters are new to the school, while others have been going to the school for years.

“Hostia,” which I translated as shit, is an extremely common Spanish swear word. It literally means sacramental bread, as in the one used for the ritual of the Eucharist. I’m not completely sure how it evolved from a religious word to a swear word. I posted a theory on twitter that it might’ve happened when people started saying, “te voy a dar una hostia,” to mean, “I’m going to slap the shit out of you.” “Hostia,” as in the swear word, means either a hard slap on the face, or serves the same purpose that “shit” does in English.

I can’t tell wtf Eva is eating in this scene. I think it’s some kind of bread sticks, or possibly these.

CLIP 2: Boy squad two seasons early

“Mierda como un piano,” which I translated as A PILE OF SHIT, literally means, “a piece of crap as large as a grand piano.” I thought the expression I used did the trick.

“Urbanización,” the housing complex where Hugo lives, can either mean a rowhouse complex, where each house has many stories, or an apartment complex, where there are two or more apartments in each story. Either of these can feature, as a perk, a pool for the exclusive use of the residents. It’s not made clear whether Hugo’s family owns a rowhouse or an apartment.

“Se me fue la puta pinza” literally means, “the fucking clothespin slipped away from me.” Not too sure about the origin of this expression, lol. I translated it as, “it slipped out of my damn mind.”

This was the first, and so far, the only appearance of the boy squad. As far as I know, this hasn’t been confirmed anywhere, but I believe this is the boy squad we will see in season 3, should we get that far. I believe Hugo is the Magnus expy, while Dilan is the Mahdi expy. Anyway, I am a big og boy squad fan, and I really liked the boys’ dynamics in this clip. I really, really enjoy that Lucas is so loud and talks over everyone. I don’t necessarily think this is a departure from Isak. In my opinion, he’s just in a good mood in this clip, for reasons that shall become clearer as the season unfolds. He’s definitely more low-key in clip 1.

CLIP 3: Ye olde bait-and-switch

Already covered the stuff about Baccalaureate tracks. Lara transferred to this high school because they offer the Arts track, which was not offered at the school where she did Mandatory Secondary Education.

“Delegado de clase” is a concept I translated as class president, although I’ve seen other fansubs that use “delegate.” I initially wanted to use class representative, but it seemed like class president is more understandable to English speakers. I’ll go into a little more detail about this role: in Spanish schools, students are assigned to groups of about 30 kids, which remain more or less stable through every class period. We’re already familiar with this through og Skam, where Even says to Isak that he’s in 3STB. In Skam España, a character would say they are in 1ºA. 1º means first, and 2º means second. A would be the letter assigned to that specific group. Lara and other students in the Arts track will take different courses, but join the bigger group for most courses. This is the reason Lara only meets Eva at 11:30, rather than in first period.

Anyway! Unlike the United States, where the Sophomore class president will represent all Sophomores, class presidents or “delegados” only represent the lettered group they belong to. These class presidents act as a go-between students and teachers/the school. As Lucas and Lara explain, this is a job most Spanish students would rather not deal with. However, if there are two or more people in the running, it becomes a popularity contest. Therefore, if someone has a history of being an outcast at school, they might run on purpose for validation.

“Marrón” and the superlative form “marronazo” literally mean “brown” or “big brown.” I kind of suspect this word might have its origin in the color of poop, because of course. That said, a “marrón” is something annoying that you have to deal with. Hence, pain in the ass.

CLIP 4: Eva’s mom is at the hospital

I’m checking the subbed episode now, so I’m seeing some of the finetuning I did when we went from subbing clips to subbing full episodes didn’t make it to the final edit. I’ll deal with that at some point.

Anyway. Eva’s mom is most likely a doctor or a nurse. The literal translation of what she says would be, “I’m going to the hospital!” Of course, that line, as is, in English, would come across as hugely alarming, lol. The translation I eventually decided on was, “I’m going for a shift at the hospital!”

When Eva’s mom says she sees that Eva is online, she means that she can see Eva is online on Whatsapp. That means that Eva’s mom is also checking Whatsapp as she’s going out the door!

CLIP 5: Russefeiring a la española

Viri is an INCREDIBLY weird way of shortening the name Elvira. Spanish people are more likely to shorten names by using the first couple syllables in a name, not the last two. For a long while, fans were stumped as to what was Viri’s full name. Some of the guesses were Virginia and Viridiana.

That said, it’s not surprising that Viri prefers to have a cute nickname. Elvira would sound fairly plain to a teenager’s ears.  

This is as good a moment as any to deal with the “tío/tía” stuff. Translated literally, “tío” and “tía” mean uncle and aunt. We definitely use these words to refer to our actual uncles and aunts, too.  But we also, consistently and across all age groups, use them to address or refer to literally anyone. “Tío” and “tía” are fairly casual, so you’ll generally want to be peers to address someone as such, but in conversation with someone else, a Spanish person will refer to any one person as “tío” or “tía.” It can be your best friend. It can be someone you just met. It can be your teacher. It can be your boss. It can be the prime minister. It can be your mailman.

I have opted to translate the instances of “tío” and “tía” as (the, to me, gender neutral) dude, for the most part. So Jorge can call Eva dude, and it’s just a friendly way of addressing her, no other connotations. That said, there are instances where I’ve preferred to translate “tía” as girl, such as when Viri tells Lara that there are a lot of things she wants people to get involved in. I feel that there’s a nuance to that “tía” in which Viri is trying to come across as open and friendly to Lara, in a way that is specific to women wanting to be friends with other women. So, for that particular instance, I chose girl. In general, if the subs say “girl,” but you’re clearly hearing “tía,” it means that there’s a specific nuance to the dialogue that makes it relevant that the person addressed or being talked about is a woman. Otherwise, it’s dudes straight down the line.

Eva doesn’t mind being late to Maths. Slacker.

As Viri has noted, she too is a new transfer to the school. Meanwhile, it seems like Cris has gone to this school for years. At least, she seems to have her own circle of friends/acquaintances.

Class trip as substitute for russefeiring. In Spain, my experience has been that class trips are organized by the school, for all the students in a specific grade. They have designated victims, a.k.a. teachers, who travel with the students and are responsible for the well-being of hormone-ridden semi-domesticated teenage forces of nature. These trips have a set price per student, which the parents pay for. That said, the school will organize fundraising events, so that the price per student is lowered. These trips are not mandatory, students sign up for them. In my case, I went to Mallorca on a class trip when I was 14. By the time I got to Baccalaureate, neither I nor my friends were very interested in hanging out with people from our year, so we didn’t sign up.

In the universe of Skam España, it looks like students can’t give two fucks about class trips, and so the school has ceased organizing them. Therefore, Viri has taken it upon herself to organize a class trip, whatever it takes. I don’t REALLY mind it, but it’s definitely not how class trips work in Spain. I’m not sure to what extent parents would be comfortable having their school aged kids go off on their own somewhere. I will write more about this when we get to the meeting clips, though.  

[realtalk-princeton]

To Maybach -- Anon 2023 again. Honestly, my other major option is Brown (and Penn, but that's out by now) and I'm concerned that I'd be sacrificing happiness if I choose Pton. "Happy" is a part of the Brown brand, whereas "ahhhhh" seems to be a part of Pton's. I want the name and the opportunities Pton would afford me. I suppose that's not a question, but how would you respond? Do you understand what I mean? Is it so awful to pick Pton 4 name/opportunity (in addition to the other stuff)

Sorry for the delay everyone, I just got caught up in a lot of obligations. Due to multiple popular demands from both pre-frosh and current students, I decided to structure my Brown and Princeton story in the following manner. In the first section, I’ll give my background context prior to starting college and my feelings throughout the years on the subject. In the second section, I’ll specifically address the above question in more detail with my many thoughts on key distinctions between the two schools. I think the combination will serve the purposes of everyone quite nicely. Lastly, if any pre-frosh ever want to talk to me, feel free to reach out and ask for my contact information. Or even better yet lol, I just remembered that PREVIEW started, so I guess it might be easier to just talk in person to me. I actually don’t even have class tomorrow haha. I just think that talking is sometimes easier than writing and also in these responses sometimes I have to speculate. For example, I can pretty safely state that if a pre-frosh is almost certain of being a pre-med, Brown is probably going to be a much less stressful experience, but I have no idea if this applies to you beforehand.

So anyway, even though it was four years ago, I still remember it like it was yesterday. Boy time flies. I was not the most studios or stand-out HS student. I wasn’t the valedictorian or salutatorian of a rather small school far away from major cities. While some Princetonian HS students spent summer doing lab research at universities, I spent mine goofing off with friends and traveling. We used to actually have a bonfire at the end of the school year and burned stacks of our HW up to 4 feet high lol. When it came to applying to college, I did not actually even again acceptance to NYU or BC lol even though my stats were more than up to par. I guess maybe they were concerned that I wouldn’t be a very hard-working student. Luckily, I am very fortunate that despite coming from an extremely educated family (grandfather and mom went to Columbia, Dad went to Berkeley, etc.), my parents never put that much pressure on me. So as you can imagine, I was super excited when I heard that I got into Princeton, Brown, Cornell, and some other schools. For a period of time, I was actually getting ready to go to Brown. My SO at the time had committed to URI and I was psyched by the super expressive culture of Brown. Students prided themselves on being true to themselves and also took full advantage of freedom with responsibility. The location was close enough to NYC and some kids from my HS were already there. I always hated excessive structure and authority growing up and the prospect of 70%’s A’s granted, no +/I’s, and pass/failing anything was totally alluring! On a side note, I always laugh when they say that people don’t abuse pass/fail and use it only like 10-15% of the time. Well, maybe that’s because they’re already handing out A’s like it’s water and all A-’s become A’s haha. But anyway, I was psyched. Who wouldn’t want to live at camp Brown and take it easier than HS, but still be guaranteed a legit degree on your resume? However, after I visited Princeton, connected with a large number of alumni, and actually started putting real thought into my education, my perspectives slowly, but surely started to change. I think what I really underestimated was the power of the Princeton degree and how impressive our alumni network truly is. The people I met and still meet to this day are absolutely brilliant in several respects (e.g. they aren’t just nerds in one subject) and many are focused on maximizing their impact and allocation of influence in this world. The alumni donation rate is nothing short of incredible and the chance to be part of this network was alluring. I remember meeting a guy actually who got waitlisted and was already attending Duke when he got the chance to go to Princeton. He lived every moment to the fullest with his academic pursuits, the social network of brilliant, but diverse persons, and solid career plans. Anyway, it just became more clear to me over time that while Princeton was rigorous, it’s academic qualities could be much more intimate and engaged than Brown and the intellectual horsepower of its students (mostly) created truly incredible and impactful people. Jeez lol I forget sometimes how many alumni we have on the SC, in politics, business, arts, etc. At Brown, all they do is gush over Emma Watson in an almost cult-like way (sarcasm). But anyway, I was getting pushed as you can imagine, but I was still worried as I wasn’t the best HS student and grade deflation had literally only ended the year before. But eventually, the offer was just too good to pass up. Once you become a Princeton student, your life truly does change and people will treat you give you credit solely based on this fact (whether it’s right or wrong is another story). I remember before I even committed, I was hanging out at the Princeton Club in New York and a few days later some of the guys (who literally knew me for like a few days), invited me out and basically paid of lunch at Smith and Wollensky and lauded me on my “accomplishments” lol and how they could always be resources to bolster a Princetonian. Pretty soon after I committed.

As for answering your specific question, I’m already seeing red flags. Whenever you choose a school for the name, that’s setting yourself up for a bad time. Yes, our opportunities are better. Look at the difference in endowments lol. It’s like that for a reason even though they have way more students and more grad schools. It’s also reflected as well in our post-graduation salary averages. Brown is more creative with RISD and it’s curriculum, but that doesn’t always equal more opportunities. Princeton has the most power and resources of any university on a per-student basis and gives us an incredibly powerful brand and network. That said, you should probably explore why you want to go to Princeton other than the name and brand. One of the miserable people I know picked Princeton over another school because it was the “Best” school she got into and that’s just not fun when you didn’t research enough beforehand. By contrast, I know someone who turned down Harvard for a small liberal arts school in the middle of nowhere and she had an amazing time. If you feel like and click with Brown’s social scene, that’s another reason for not going to Princeton. Academically, Princeton is better for people who want rigor and want to truly maximize their learning in a short period of time and be around amazing minds. Our depth is much better than Brown’s and it shows with how strong our students are in critical thinking skills both inside and outside of their majors. However, there is a downside to this. For example, if you want to major in physics at Princeton, you better adapt fast or be damn good at it. You can’t just “love” physics and be relatively bad at it (compared to your peers) to succeed here because we teach you to be the best students possible from professors who literally wrote your book. At Brown, sure you don’t learn as much or go as deep, but you can major in almost anything because you just aren’t held to the same standards. So there’s a tradeoff. If I majored in Brown’s business program, let me just say that I would not NEARLY be perceived by others to be so intelligent (even though I’m not lol). I know the kids in the degree, it’s not like they are dumb, but jeez lol is it a joke a bunch of the time. Relating sociology to business for example on the surface can seem like a good idea that teaches people until you actually see what they’re writing and working on. I would probably have a 4.0 without working as hard too. And I don’t mean this to mean I’m like super smart or anything. It’s just not comparable to Princeton. However, I am super blessed and thankful that I did take Economics here seriously. The kinds of critical thinking skills and the ability to analytically dissect complex multi-faceted problems that I have developed serve me very well and I feel so rewarded. I literally got a position at a hedge fund with no experience at all because the interviewer liked how I wrote a research paper on guns an applied rigorous statistical analysis in many novel ways to answer new questions. This is no different in many ways than using public information using novel techniques to find value where nobody else sees it. But overall, I think that I’m feeling Brown for you unless you are willing to work harder here for greater depth of learning. I just want to say too though that despite me working hard, I still don’t pull-allnighters almost ever and I still have achieved very high grades. You don’t have to be a genius to do well here. Take it from me. I had piss-poor test scores (by Princeton standards) and was not a valedictorian, but if you are strategic and work reasonably hard and are disciplined, the work is more than doable. I don’t want to brag because I think it promotes bad culture, but you ought to know that a student like me can succeed academically and perform at the top of their class without working in the library all the time. So you should really evaluate what kind of learning experience you want and where you will be most likely to be happy and healthy. Some people just want a break after HS and don’t care about going super deep into their learning development. That’s totally fine, but then Brown is probably better (assuming you also like the culture). Some people would really abuse Brown’s system, not really learn, develop unhealthy and bad habits, and be kind of bored. In that case, Princeton is better. It really depends on you, but if all you see here for you is a name, you’re probably shooting yourself in the foot coming here.

Anyway hope that all helps. I can answer specifics if you have them too.

Edit. also I realized how long this all is and noticed that maybe some of you should just call me or I can connect you with people I know who love Brown lol. It’s sometimes harder to write these things and express everything properly compared to like a 30-minute dinner conservasation. Just putting it out there. I’m also exhausted lol from staying up until 4am the past few nights for this huge deal coming up. I did this tonight so that I wouldn’t mess up my sleep schedule any further and avoid taking a nap lol.

[cassolotl]

Women and titles and marital status - a brief survey for personal investigative purposes

That’s my new way of saying nosy: “personal investigative purposes.” Good, huh?

The survey ran from 16th until 18th October 2018, and there were 707 participants after I removed a TERF and someone who said “I’m a dude lol”. (Hi weiros, thanks for taking part, wouldn’t be the same without you!) You can see the responses and my tables and make a copy to play with the numbers yourself here.

Each participant was first asked to confirm that they were a woman. (Trans women and nonbinary women were explicitly invited in promotional posts and on the survey itself.) Then I asked for age, title, and marital status, in that order. On the last page before submitting there was an optional feedback box, which 12% of participants used, often to adorable effect.

I was essentially curious to know what the deal is with women having like 3 different feminine titles that each express something different about marital status. I wanted to know who was using each title, and whether Mrs or Ms was more popular, especially among married and separated women.

This was my previous understanding:

Miss: never married.

Mrs: married now or previously.

Ms: does not wish to disclose marital status with title.

And here’s how it went down.

~

AGES REPRESENTED

So the age ranges were pretty much representative of the social networks the survey was promoted on, which is not surprising. That’s Twitter, Mastodon, Reddit and Tumblr, as far as I know. Participants were invited to promote the survey themselves afterwards to make the science happy by increasing all the numbers, and that might have happened on other social networks that I’m not aware of.

In the end 90% of participants were under 40, and 63% were under 30, but we still heard from 68 people over 40 and 5 people over 60, which I thought was pretty great considering I threw it all together in an hour or two and it only ran for two days, right?

The youngest participant was 13, and the oldest was 64. The mean age was 28, the mode was 22, and the median was 27.

~

AGE AND MARITAL STATUS

This was fun, I hadn’t been planning to investigate but I thought, why not?

The darker the colour, the higher the percentage. It shows that the older participants were, the more likely they were to have married, and then divorced. It’s probably not surprising, since the older you are the more likely you are statistically to have done basically anything, right? I’m sure the numbers would’ve gotten higher for anything, like bungee-jumping or whatever.

Along those lines, folks were generally more likely to use the title Dr if they were older. Because as you age you’re statistically more likely to have earned a doctorate. There’s hope for me yet.*

~

MARITAL STATUS AND TITLES

This is why we’re here, am I right?

I was honestly expecting the Mrs percentages to be a lot higher than Ms for married and civil partnered people. For married and civil partnered participants Ms was higher than Mrs right up until the last few hours of the survey.

I’m guessing this is because of the generally liberal and progressive attitudes of my followers and their followers and their followers and so on, and it wasn’t until right at the end when the survey was making it further out of my social bubble that it started to shift back towards my expectations.

I added Mr on the end there because two people wrote it into the “other” box, but I’d like to mention that it wasn’t a tickybox option on the actual survey. Most people used the “other” box to write “Ms or Mrs” or something like that, so Mr was the only standalone standard title that was written into the “other” textbox more than once. The titles entered only once were “Bachelor of Arts” and 1LT.

I wanted to find out more specifically how all titles looked for married and divorced/separated people, so...

Among married women, as the age of the participant increased they became less likely to use Mrs and more likely to use Ms or no title at all. I thought that was super interesting!

There were 4 married women using Miss, which made me go “huh?” until I read one bit of interesting commentary that was typed into the feedback box:

If Dr isn't an option I prefer Miss - I don't share my husband's surname so Mrs is not appropriate.

I HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY. I love doing surveys, I see all kinds of new perspectives, this is the coolest.

My mum is a divorced Mrs, as far as I know, so of the 35 divorced or separated women I thought there might be one or two Mrseses, but no, it was Ms or no title for the most part. (14% were Mx, which I appreciated, being a Mx myself!) It is worth noting that the divorced/separated group was comparatively small, only 5% of respondents, probably because the sample skewed young, so it might be super unreliable and/or unrepresentative?

~

FEEDBACK

Some of it was puzzling. I was accused of nonbinary erasure on Mastodon, and one person wrote into the feedback box that I am hardcore enforcing binary gender, which is weird because I explicitly invited trans and nonbinary women to take part.

Some of it was really helpful! Like, that I had forgotten to include “widow” and “common law marriage” in the marital status options, and if I do this survey again I will not be making that mistake, so thanks for that. Some of it was just generally interesting, like the person who told me that titles based on marital status have been scrapped in France.

And some of it was just lovely. Big up especially to the person who loves narwhals, the person who was confused about why they had just done the survey, the person who declared their love for me, and the person who said “i wish there was more time in general” - big mood, #relatable for many readers I’m sure.

~

CONCLUSIONS

Conditional formatting with colour scales is really useful. Spreadsheets are magic. People are many and varied and wonderful, with the occasional tendency to leave sweet messages in the feedback box just because.

Divorced women don’t use Mrs.** The older you are, the more likely you are to be a Ms, even when you’re still married. Younger people are more likely to shun titles altogether. People use whatever title they feel is right, for sometimes surprising reasons.

You’re all great. Thank you for coming along with me on this journey of curiosity. Take care!

* I am 32, I did two A-Levels in my teens and then stopped, and I have no plans to go back into education. But statistically...

** Small sample, though.

[larryssunflower]

TRR AU- Teachers (part two) Butterflies

Hey! I wrote a part one to this fic :) You should read it first lol

The lovely @simplyaiden-blog asked me to post my part two as soon as possible so here it is! Enjoy :)

Pairing- Drake X Mc (Elle Garden)

—-

After lunch I head back to the classroom, letting the kids file in. I go to my desk, pulling out my schedule. After lunch and recess, they have an hour of class then physical education after. With Drake. I inform the kids what project they are going to do and hand out papers and crayons, but Drake is still on my mind. I can still almost feel the pressure of his knee when he bumped it against mine.

As the kids are laughing and working on their projects, I go through some paperwork because I still haven’t solidified my school year plan. I suddenly jump when there’s a knock at my door, I look up at it opens, Drake walking in. “Hey, sorry to bother you, but it’s time for PE.” He says, and I bring my hand up to my forehead, laughing lightly. “Oh I’m sorry, I totally lost track of time,” I say embarrassedly, getting up and gathering my work.

“Kids! You guys need to go to PE now, just leave your work where it is, we will pick it up after.” I say, and they all get up excitedly, scrambling over to the door. “Single file!” I remind them and they get in line almost immediately. Drake grins at me before turning around and leading them outside. I follow the class.

I sit on the sidelines, still doing my paperwork as Drake plays soccer with the kids. I can’t help glancing up to look at Drake. He is laughing and shouting orders to the energetic kids as they run around in helpless circles around the field. I smile looking at them totally ignore Drake as they leave the ball to chase each other around. Drake glances up at me and grins, making me smile more as my stomach erupts in butterflies.

He still doesn’t give up, trying to get them into the game. I try to ignore the fact that his white shirt is starting to stick to him. And getting a bit transparent. Just ignore him, Elle, just do your work. I listen to myself for a while, actually just doing a good chunk of work. I decide to leave it there for the rest of the class, and look up, nearly having a heart attack. Drake is now shirtless, yelling (still grinning) at the kids to keep up with him as he does jumping jacks.

I’m dumbfounded for a whole minute as I watch him. He is much more fit then he lets on. I notice the trail of hair which goes down the waistband of his pants. I bite my lip and look away, my cheeks burning. Is he doing this on purpose? I mean the kids don’t care, did he do it intentionally? For me? No. No way. Right? I look back up and meet eyes with Drake who was already looking at me. He winks before stopping the jumping jacks and telling everyone to get water.

I’m disappointed as I realize that it’s over. I stand up, turn around, bending over to grab all my things. I stand up straight, my paperwork in my arms and turn, nearly running straight into Drake. Who is still shirtless. When will I get a break? “Oh. Hey.” I say breathlessly, looking up at him. Wow, we are very close. I can see small freckles along the bridge of his nose and flecks if lighter brown in his eyes. We are probably four inches apart. With anyone else, this would be uncomfortably close, but for some reason, it’s not with him.

I step back, clearing my throat. “You have great kids, Garden,” Drake says, making me smile proudly. “Yeah, they’re the best,” I say, looking over at them, laughing with each other as they drink water under a tree. I look back at Drake who has a strange look on his face as he looks at me. I’m about to say something but then he clears his throat, blushing momentarily. “So tonight, Maxwell, Hana, Liam and I are all going to a bar, do you want to come?” He asks, seeming almost nervous.

“Sounds fun,” I grin. Kiara isn’t on the list.. hehe. “Heh, it’ll be great.” He says. The kids run over, and I smile at them. “Had fun?” I ask, and I hear a chorus of ‘yeah!’. “Alright, time to get back to class, get in line!” I say, and they rush into line, wanting to be as close to the front as possible. I turn and see Drake putting on his shirt. He walks up to me. “Leaving already?” He teases. “Heh, thank you for distracting them for an hour. They love you.” I say, smiling. “No problem. Here, I’ll walk you to your classroom.” He says, grabbing his bag. “Okay.” I smile, and the kids lead the way.

“Are you leaving?” I ask Drake, looking at his bag. “Uh yeah, no more classes after yours. Which is good, I mean I actually think I got a decent workout.” He says, making me laugh. “It’s cool that you try hard with them. They really do love you,” I say, bumping against him playfully. He grins down at me shaking his head. “What?” I ask. “You are just- nothing.” He says, cutting himself off. Before I can push further, we reach my classroom. “I’ll see you later Garden.” He says, winking, walking away and out the front door. “Bye,” I say quietly, before heading back into the classroom.

—-

(Group chat with Maxwell, Hana, Liam, and Drake)

Drake- guys we need to go out tonight.

Maxwell-  why is that?

Drake- I invited Garden out. I said you would all be there too, we need to welcome her to the friend group.

Liam- Aw Drake, Are you being nice to the pretty new girl?

Drake- Ha ha. Hana was probably going to make us all hang out anyway. Why not now?

Hana- you aren’t wrong, I was already planning something :)

Maxwell- what about Kiara?

Drake- what about her?

Liam- why isn’t she invited?

Drake- I don’t know, I find her kind of annoying.

Hana- Drake! You know she has a huge crush on you!

Drake- She still isn’t over it? Can’t she take a hint? I mean she’s nice and all, but not my type.

Liam- yeah, your type is fourth-grade teachers from New York with green eyes, brown hair, and yellow dresses ;)

-Drake has left the group chat-

Maxwell- he couldn’t even deny it lol

—-

I’m getting a glass of water in my apartment when I hear knocking on my door. “One second!” I shout, walking over. I open it to reveal Hana standing there with a huge grin on her face. “Hey!” She says, walking right in. “Hey Han, what’s up?” I ask, closing the door. “I’m here to get ready with you, duh.” She says, walking into my bedroom. Alright then. I follow in, confused. “I was just going to wear this,” I say to my friend who is digging through my closet. She turns to me. “I think not.” She says, and she pulls out a piece of clothing I never thought I would wear again. “No Hana, I only bought that for a costume, I’m not going to wear it,” I say, crossing my arms. “Come on Elle! It’s cool!” She says, waving it around. I roll my eyes. “At least try it on?” She asks hopefully, using her puppy dog eye trick. “Fine.” I huff, unable to say no to her.

“I feel stupid,” I announce as I walk out. Hana squeals, getting up quickly. “That looks so good! What are you talking about?” She says, getting up and looking around me. “The jacket is perfect! You look like a cool rocker chic!” She says ecstatically. I sigh, looking at my reflection. “Well, you can’t change your mind because we need to leave right now!” Hana says as she glanced at her watch, and rushes away, grabbing her purse. I groan and follow her. Nerves biting away at me.

—

We arrive at the bar and spot the boys in a booth, talking. “Hey, guys!” Hana says, walking right up to them. I follow behind. What if Drake thinks I look dumb? Like I’m trying to hard? God, I look like an idiot. “Hey!” I grin, trying to hide my nerves as I sit next to Drake. “Woah, you look great Elle,” Liam says, making me smile more. “Thanks, Liam!” I say as I shift in my seat. I turn to glance at Drake who looks pretty shocked. “You look like you just walked out of the Grease, freaking cool!” Maxwell says, making me blush. “Alright enough about my dumb outfit. How was your guys’ first day?” I ask, leaning forward.

We all discuss the kids, the other teachers, and plans for the school year. “Alright, enough with the work talk, I need a drink,” Drake says, getting up. “I’ll help you bring them over, Drake,” Liam says, but I notice he is in the middle of the booth. I get up, brushing myself off. “I’ll go, don’t want to make everyone else get up.” I smile and turn to see Drake, who smiles slightly at me before going towards the bar. I follow, wondering why he hasn’t talked to me. We were okay during PE, why is he acting like this now?

We reach the bar and Drake orders what im guessing the group usually gets. Im not really paying attention, watching a woman perform drunk karaoke. “What will you have Garden?” He asks. I turn to him. “Oh, a whiskey please,” I say, turning back to the singer. I glance over and catch him shaking his head, muttering something under his breath. “Is there something wrong?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. “No, its just I’ve never met a woman who likes whiskey,” he says, smiling. I laugh lightly. “Doesn't sound like you’ve met the right woman yet,” I say, lightly biting my lip. “No, I think I might have...” He trails off, a strange look on his face. The bartender suddenly comes up. “Alright, we have a white wine, a beer, a cosmopolitan, and two whiskeys.” He says, pushing them towards us. I grab a couple, leading the way back to the booth. I may have been swinging my hips a bit...

I place the cosmopolitan in front of Hana, but she just laughs, giving it to Maxwell. “Not really my drink, but thank you, Elle, ill take the Chardonnay please” she grins, making me laugh as I hand her rightful drink over. “I didnt take you for a cosmopolitan kind of man, Maxwell” I tease, making Drake snort. “Then you definitely haven't gotten to know him well enough,” He says, making everyone laugh, even Maxwell who mumbles ‘‘Its true’’ with a shrug. 

Many rounds later, we are the loudest table, laughing and drinking. I’m not really drunk myself, just kind of tipsy. I can’t say the same for Maxwell. Somehow we migrate to a table near the karaoke stage, and before I know it, im picking a song. I find one that is perfect for me right now. I grin at Drake as the music starts to play. He seems pretty sober to me and he's looking at me with a curious look on his face. Probably waiting for me to embarrass myself.

(This link is to the youtube video of the song :) I recommend listening in a different tab or something. It's Butterflies by Kacey Musgraves)

‘ I was just coasting, not really goin’ anywhere, 

caught up in a web I was just kind of used to you stayin’ there

then out of the blue, 

I fell for you.’

I start singing, definitely not sounding as good as the original singer but not too bad. My group sways along to the acoustic song, except for Maxwell and Drake. Maxwell is slowly breakdancing and Drake is just sitting there, looking at me with an intensity in his eyes I had never seen before

‘I didn’t know him, and I didn’t know me, 

cloud nine was always out of reach, 

now I remember what its like to fly,

 you give me butterflies’

I sing this, looking right at Drake, getting butterflies just like the song. I smile, looking down, continuing the lyrics.

‘kiss full of color, 

makes me wonder where you have always been.’

I sing this and I imagine kissing drake. I bet his lips are so soft. I do wonder where he has been. I have never met a man who has affected me like this before. I do the rest of the song, finally singing the last lyrics;

‘You give me butterflies.

mmhmm,

butterflies...’

I finish, and everyone applauds, making me blush as I clamber down the steps, walking back to the group. Liam, who seems a little more than tipsy stumbles over to me. “Hey hi hello,” He says, his words slurring. “hey, you alright Liam?” I ask, steading him with my arms on his shoulders. “I’m kinda drunk,” He whispers loudly, giggling. “Yeah, I can tell,” I say, laughing. He suddenly gets serious. “I-I’m just working up my nerve for- to do something,” he says, slightly swaying. I furrow my eyebrows. ‘Wha-” He cuts me off, pressing his lips on mine.

what the fuckkkkkkkk

*end of part two*

Hope you liked it! Tagging:

@simplyaiden-blog @butindeed @monosodiumglutamateme @mfackenthal

@drakelover78 @mrsdrakewalkerblog @crookedslimecreatorpasta

[escarlatafox]

@mackledberries I’m making a new post to respond since the other one was getting kinda long-ish even with the cuts :P

If someone seemed alright at one point but then went on to do something terrible, it’s more than a little hard to think much of them anymore. It’s kinda like with, say, Bill Cosby. If anything it’d be more painful trying to think on the past, knowing what they will go on to do, or already did and we didn’t know it. Or that stuff with Channel Awesome, I doubt a lot of people who were outraged at the events will be tuning into any older stuff anytime soon.

I do understand the point you’re making, and I’m going to proceed to point out a few key distinctions. But your perspective may remain unchanged, or it may not, at least we’re hearing each other’s point of view.

First off of course is that your examples are real people in real life, not cartoon characters. In the case of someone like Doug Walker, the fact is that he was always the way he is, and us learning about some unseemly stuff now doesn’t suddenly make it that way - he always was that way. I think a huge part of what would sour people on going back and enjoying the previous work of real people is this kind of “behind-the-scenes” knowledge they would have gained. It doesn’t matter how hilarious or amusing or cool whatever the stuff they did was if you know that they were far from good people the moment the cameras weren’t rolling.

You could use the example of a real person who was actually a good person behind the scenes but went on to become a bad person. That would still make enjoying their stuff hard, so that would be a better analogy to what you’re talking about.

But it would still be one cohesive whole real person you’re talking about as compared to a character handled by multiple writers over decades, on a show where the consensus says that it got worse over time and the characters, too, for the most part got worse over time, including hers.

Lisa is largely produced by the script, the writers, the people who handle her character. If you can look and find that a different set of people are handling and writing for her, if so much else about the show is distinct and different from the old one, it’s not too far a leap to say that this version of the character is distinct from the old one, too. You have

1. for the most part, different people handling the character

2. Different behaviors compared to the old character

3. Everything else about the show taking on things over the years that sets it apart from the older episodes

if so many factors are distinct, why can it not be that the character too is distinct compared to its former versions?

Besides, even if I make much of a distinction it wouldn’t make much of a difference. There’s quite a bit that actually does bother me in the older seasons [...] It’s just I don’t bring those up much because they’re not the worst examples and on some occasions there is some justification [...] I guess if things stayed more like that, I’d at least settle for “not a fan”. Because even at my most positive, I still felt that way at most.

Even if it wouldn’t make “much” of a difference, I still think it would make an important difference though. Of course, in the end that’s up for you to decide. Because even if there’s stuff that bothers you in the older stuff, you yourself admit that there is justification sometimes, AND there’s the fact that there was nothing anywhere on the level of the stuff that you complain about from later on. That still accounts for different behaviours imo.

(Bart in particular. Goodness he’s a subject for an entire essay’s worth… so many conflicts there)

I really would like to talk to you about Bart sometime too, because I think there’s a lot you could teach me! I could go on about that but I may save it for another time haha. (I don’t dislike Bart, but I only started appreciating him as a character in like... my late teens. And even then I still had a ways to go, and still do. and still aim to understand his character better)

I dunno, even with authorial favoritism I don’t know how people find enjoyment in writing characters like that.

And this here is also an interesting issue to explore where we have very different perspectives. You’re annoyed at Lisa’s lack of flaws; you don’t understand why people would a) enjoy writing such a flawless character b) could like such a flawless character so much.

I can’t fully speak for the writers but I can speak for my love of Lisa Simpson (although I will address some things from a writer/writing POV).

Do you remember me saying how as a young girl she was my role model and I idolised her, deified her? She was an inspiration and I wanted to be like her! So I wanted to be able to look up to this amazing, practically perfect character as my inspiration. I wouldn’t want this character I love to be very flawed, I wanted to idolise them for a reason. In my mind, Lisa was even MORE perfect than she actually was, and she still is to me. Real people are flawed so they will inevitably crash down from a pedestal. But Lisa is fictional, so I want(ed) to be able to place her on that pedestal and just leave her up there to look up to, to appreciate.

I completely understand how it might seem boring or pointless and such because I love love love plenty of very flawed characters, flaws make characters interesting, flaws are good!! But. I get so much mileage out of just appreciating Lisa in all her Mary Sueness.

Lisa IS “flawed”. She does have oversights and blind spots. I guess you couldn’t really count them as “flaws”; for all her intelligence, there are a lot of stuff that is characteristic of an eight year old added to her character. Her love of ponies, Malibu Stacy, things like that. And then there was stuff like the Cory hotline which was also a flaw, or a “flaw”, whichever works. Another “flaw” is her over-reliance on good grades, basing much/most of her self-worth on them. How she completely dedicates herself to and embraces the education system, when a different character may see it as flawed, another character could realise that you don’t need to get so caught up in good grades, don’t need to stress so much, don’t need to let a less-than-perfect grade bother you. And here’s a big stretch -- another “””flaw””” or rather, something that positions her character as less-than-perfect is the simple fact that the show and the writers and the greater message of a given episode are not always on her side. These instances aren’t very common lol, but SOMETIMES it happens, and then - instead of being an all-powerfully-ridiculously CONSTANTLY in the right character that cannot do any wrong mouthpiece-for-the-writers, she moves down a notch to “almost always right. Technically not Completely Perfect.” In the rare times the show isn’t on her side, she’s actually positioned as being in the wrong.

Of course, whether or not she has flaws doesn’t actually affect my love for the character at all. There’s some other things I’d like to address about this too though. Outside of Lisa Simpson, pretty much EVERY character on The Simpsons is VERY, RIDICULOUSLY flawed. I would argue that the show can get away with having this one very flawless “perfect” character because everyone else is so absolutely riddled with vices. And those vices (can) make the characters entertaining, can be funny, a source of drama/conflict/etc. Lisa is positioned on the show as the voice of reason. Her role is to serve as this kind of moral objector, the rational one, what have you. You’re right, this might make her less funny, less entertaining, or even less interesting as a character! But being the funniest and most entertaining character on the show isn’t her job. Her character is serving a different purpose. Will this, does this make her a less popular character as a result? Sure. But that’s the sacrifice that her character has to make.

I don’t see the point in complaining about Lisa being not as funny/entertaining because just about every other character on the show succeeds at that. The audience is spoiled for choice here. Sure, you might have this one Mary Sue-ish girl but if you’re looking for laughter and entertainment you can look basically just about anywhere else, at ANY other character and you’ll find it, it’s very easy. She doesn’t need to work hard at that because just about everyone else already has it covered.

Lisa’s character is supposed to play off of the characters and the environment around her.

And I think for the writers, instead of having this environment where every character is wrong and flawed and no one has a clue, you at least have this one window of truth, to reason.

And another thing is that this morality or centre of reason oftentimes gets ignored! Lisa gets to be a stand-in for the centre of reason or whatever sometimes specifically to be rejected or ignored to highlight the flaws and the lack of logic of everyone around her. Because The Simpsons satirises and whatnot. Instead of being flawed her presence further serves to highlight the flaws of the people and the world around her. Whether you like her or not she serves a clear purpose in the show, and she can pull it off whether or not she is liked (at least in the older seasons).

Because the world of The Simpsons is supposed to be fundamentally flawed, etc. etc.

So, Lisa is insightful, plays off of the other characters, and the other characters would be fun to write so there isn’t so much emphasis on her being fun to write. And a lot of really emotional episodes feature Lisa so she can be interesting to write from that angle as well where you’re going for an emotional response.

I agree that hardcore Mary Sue fic could be a huge chore to write, but people have their reasons. A lot of what I wrote above specifically applies to Lisa but maybe it can apply to that too, idk. But I also think a big driving force behind people creating mary sues is just, from a here’s-a-character-I-want-to-idolise perspective. I created a massive mary sue character when I was a kid. I just, like really intelligent, driven, outspoken girl characters that lack obvious flaws because they inspired me. They were like a positive presence in my life yknow.

I could go on and there’s bound to be points I left out but I hope you at least get an inkling of my point of view.

Also there was some point I wanted to make about how, oftentimes, men get to be individuals but girls often become a stand-in for their whole gender that this kind of touches upon:

And there’s some point embedded in there about Lisa being so perfect and being a girl and why I don’t mind that compared to her being more flawed or something. BUT. I don’t know how to properly articulate that thought to you as I haven’t fully fleshed it out myself. So here’s me, throwing you the scraps forming that idea haha.

now onto ace attorney lol

I don’t know how to feel about Betty actually being a fan of Trucy haha, because I genuinely REALLY REALLY liked her whole character and then they kinda added that curveball. I mean I like all versions of Betty but of course we get different versions of her set-up in the case which don’t turn out to be the true her, and by that point I’d already gotten attached to them. I mean you have

1. Betty being the mastermind/genuinely evil and whatever (I just loved the concept so much, so I’m all torn between “I LOVE HOW THE CASE ACTUALLY TURNED OUT, SOOOO MUCH” and “I LOVE WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN/WHERE IT SEEMED TO BE HEADING, SOOO MUCH” hahaha)

2. Betty not wanting to kill anyone but wanting to take Trucy down because she does hate Trucy

3. Betty not actually hating Trucy, it’s kinda a front.

Obviously the third one is true but it kind of takes the edge off of Betty’s attitude, y’know? And I love her attitude so much. Bonny’s sweetness, A+, Betty just... yes. But then the whole Trucy thing kinda undercuts it? idk. What’s your take on it?

Also here’s a small addendum;

One of the Lisa flaws I listed above was Lisa basing her self-worth on grades which as a kid I actually saw as the opposite of a flaw because I thought it was The Right Way To Be and really took a leaf out of her book on that front. I’m not just drawn to smart female characters but smart academic female characters. I really liked Lisa and Hermione as a kid. The Mary Sue character I made up as a kid also started off as “impossibly intelligent straight-A student”. cue me getting into ace attorney when I finished highschool and I loved Ema Skye in RFTA. Of course, Ema has her clear differences from Lisa and Hermione but what I also love is her intense passion and stuff, and a kind of innocence and all too. That’s what Hermione and Lisa also have: they’re passionate, they have things they believe in that they will stand up for. Idk I’m rambling on at this point.

I like smart intellectual characters in general, I just seem to only like/enjoy the male ones being super flawed I guess ??? going into the gender stuff I mentioned earlier. But I guess it all just depends.

I knew about the transparent gifs btw; super cool!

[theboykingofhell]

(acting anon from earlier!!) i read ur whole thing and its FILLED with rly good info ty!! im british and im looking to start getting into acting but i always shyed away from it in schools etc cause there's always be a dance side to it and :/ no ty id rather eat nails than dance ever. but im rly interested in the acting techniques n stuff u mentioned and id defo read as many posts abt it as u wanted to write :0 ty for your time!!

OK YEAH now that i actually have time and by that i mean i have no time there’s like three things i’m supposed to be doing rn but i want to stall starting them lmfao I’MMA TALK MORE ABOUT THIS RN

imma be real i cant remember all the things i mentioned in that post i wrote and i cant be bothered to go back and look so IF YOU EVER HAVE A SPECIFIC QUESTION LITERALLY ASK ME ANY TIME

oooooooooooh... yeah.. love... babe.... go to acting schools lol it’s not even JUST the fact that they literally teach you how to act but. you. need to network. god. especially since you ARE british, acting schools are very important because a lot of companies will pretty much hire you based on what school you went to. just the short amount of time i was there made this VERY obvious that it is VERY hard to get picked up by a company if you haven’t gone to school, and getting picked up by a company is how you get consistent theater work for YEEEEEEARS...!!! also, usually a school will give you a rly good chance to network by having some sort of showcase at the end where you can get in contact with a bunch of agents and the more famous the school, the more agents see your work and try and help you out!!!!

and, like... the whole dance bit is just a hurdle you’re gonna have to jump. it’s def rly important to just partipate in the classes, you don’t have to be GOOD but it gives you just that little bit of awareness over your body and your movement that you might not have had before and that’s rly important, especially on the stage!! i felt the same way about singing but, man, the more you work at it, the more mangeable it gets. and you don’t want to have this grudge on you forever because it’ll really limit your work :/

but i mean man you don’t actually have to, there’s no set way to become an actor! if you find work, you have that work, it doesn’t matter how you get there t b h. i just think it helps and the more skills you acquire, the better of a chance you have to get that work...

(i RLY suggest lamda, it’s a hard school get into but it’s one of the best if not the best and also the education is beautiful and ALSO lamda-trained actors get the most consistent work because the uk just nuts all over itself about lamda-trained actors)

BUT YEAH. ACTING TECHNIQUES. GONNA FINALLY ADD A CUT LOL

i’m only gonna talk about these vaguely cuz tbh i’m not as ~studied~ as i should be because i’ve been far too lazy until now to actually sit down and read acting textbooks but HERE’S THE GIST....

stanislavsky is like... pretty much the most well-known most taught acting technique. so many of the other techniques you learn BUILDS on his work. there’s a huge range of shit that he’s got to offer because his and later similar teachings are SO focused on realism (which tbh is a very new thing in acting), but some of the most important is stuff like emotional recall and objective work aaaaand character building by using yourSELF and projecting it onto the character. it’s a very psychological form of acting and it’s... MY BASIS but not actually my fave!

now, a lot of parts of it is very useful. emotional recall, for one, is SUPER nice. it’s a very good way to build that vulnerability up, tear down a lot of walls and explore how to summon emotions up....

my first exercise with stanislavsky, i remember them making us lie down and pretty much meditate, and then you listened as the teacher described a bunch of things: your favorite beach as a child and what it felt like, all these sensory memories about the smells and tastes and sights of the beach. and then it moved on to the night of your first kiss, your first love, and then your first loss. a nice basic range of basic emotions, and then you build on that.

stanislavsky (and stuff like uta hagan who wrote a RLY great book that i havent finished reading yet but it’s a GREAT way to rly build on the technique) rly encourages taking yourself and putting it into the character. SO!!!! if your character is going through their first break-up, summon the feelings and memories of your first break-up and push that into your lines, so on and so forth.

the big criticism with stanislavsky and all the techniques like them is that it COULD be very unhealthy for you... considering it’s all about reliving and reliving old memories. and i agree, i mean, one of my favorite plays and one of my monologues of choice for auditions is from a play where the main character is kidnapped and raped, and i’ve been kidnapped and raped before so i am CONSTANTLY and purposely triggering myself just to perform that monologue well. THAT AIN’T RIGHT! helps tho! 

(stuff like method acting falls under stanislavsky and his successors strasberg and stella adler, so....! you can see why not everyone fucks with it)

MY criticism about stanislavsky, which is why it doesn’t work as much for me, is that it’s very VERY heavily text-based. uhhh THIS IS LONG ALREADY SO SOMEONE SEND AN ASK ABOUT OBJECTIVES AND I’LL EXPLAIN but they want you to do a lot in the moment that makes it very distracting if you don’t have this process pinned down and that’s AGGRAVATING FOR ME ANYWAY

chekov is another technique that’s interesting, again not a fave but VERY helpful. this one builds character more from the outside in, it’s all about like... a lot of very subtle details that you can add to the background to add color to your performances. a lot of it is about atmospheres, attitudes, body language, and how that affects your character and how your character is thinking through the scene. it’s VERY reactionary and very fun because you don’t have to think NEARLY as much. 

pretty much you form... gestures, or moods for your characters, and instead of perfoming an ‘action’ (stanislavsky thingy, i’ll explain that in another post i guess), you’re using this ‘gesture’ to explain yourself. it is far FAR more abstract than stanislavsky, which is a lot more technique and exact, and it’s very vague, which does make it very hard for people. it also doesn’t stress realism like stanislavsky and company does, so it’s not as popular at the moment!

 meisner technique is my second favorite technique and kind of hard to explain because i haven’t rly gotten a comprehensive course in it yet besides a few workshops and activities, but it’s a technique that stresses STRESSES ‘listening’. that’s something you hear a lot as an actor, it’s one of the hardest things to really get but it’s also, truly, the essence of good acting. you can’t be a good actor if you don’t listen, because if you don’t listen, you’re not in the moment, and if you’re not IN the moment, you’re just... reciting lines!!!

it’s so hard to explain so i’mma link a cute video i just found because it shows a lot of variety and also shows the actors messing up a lot and it’s cute omfg

it focuses a lot of repetition (either of the same one line for each person or they’re both doing the same line back and forth) which forces the actor to not think about what’s being said but how it’s being said. you’re stuck in the moment because you KNOW what you’re gonna say, you don’t have to worry about saying anything else, all you gotta worry about is what the other person does and how you’re gonna react to it. if they suddenly start screaming in your face UHH YOU’RE GONNA SCREAM BACK HOW DARE YOU? and it’s automatic and SO natural and that’s why i love it, because you don’t have to THINK through it. you don’t rly think through your life like they make you do in other techniques, so i adore the ability to not have to do that on stage.

however i’ve never gotten far enough in the technique to find out how to apply it to a set script but it might just be about building that openness to just... DO and BE and let whatever happens happens, which is NICE

LAST THING THAT I’LL TALK ABOUT IS FUCKING GROTOWSKI YE  S. ok so a lot of techniques overlap, so by this i’m also talking about lecoq and peter brook’s acting techniques. it’s all physical theatre which is all about the GROTEQUE and like UGH there’s so many fascinating things honestly just google ‘theatre of cruelty’ because it’s FASCINATING

the emphasis is... not rly on realism altho the acting i’ve seen come out of it is the most realistic i’ve seen? it’s rly gritty and about accessing the most... EXTREME of emotions, it’s about rly grasping human nature and twisting it and bringing it on stage. peter brook especially (who has a book called the empty stage or something like that that i got to read) stresses that... theatre shouldn’t be about costumes and sets and whatever, it should be just about the actor, and that you can do a PERFECTLY GOOD show with a completely empty stage, with just the actor in the center.

it also has an emphasis on YANKING the audience into the show and being very interactive and like... nothing’s held back, it should be hard to watch, THEATRE SHOULD BE CATHARTIC AND FUCKED UP AND YES.

so physical theatre involves pulling emotions from the body through your movement. life isn’t just about the mind, after all, your body holds emotions through it, there’s chemicals and hormones and what your body does on its own and against other bodies and just. again, hard to explain so HERE’S SOME COOL VIDS THAT SHOWS DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES AND COMPARES THEM ALL

i lied there’s one more technique i wanna mention: it’s called alba emoting! it, again, builds on the idea that trying to access emotions through the brain is UNHEALTHY AND DANGEROUS and that you can, instead, try and access it through the body! how???? cuz emotions are PHYSICAL. you feel sadness and anger and love and whatnot in your gut and chest and through your head and all through every nerve in your body, right????? so why not try and mimic that for the stage???

it’s SUPER COOL because! what you do with alba emoting is: affix yourself a certain way. it involves certain body postures or positions, certain expressions sometimes... EVERY time it depends upon a different breathing pattern... and all you gotta do is do it. and your body doesn’t know better, it gets tricked into it...!

so, if i were to alba emote fear... it’s hard to describe through text rather than do it but this one might be the clearest one... part of the positioning is to have your hands up in front of you, as if you’re trying to ward someone off or shield yourself. you have your mouth open, you have your eyes stuck to the floor in a submissive sort of way, (there’s more that i cant describe but then) you start to make yourself hyperventilate by taking short, quick breaths through your mouth. after a few seconds of this, your body just starts SHOOTING adrenaline through you because it starts thinking WHOA SOMETHING BAD’S HAPPENING I’M AFRAID?FUCKFUCKFUCK

and that continues until you stop! you can stop at any time and then just go. you get left with a ‘residue’ (which is very chekov in nature in that it ‘colors’ your performance) where you can just act and do the lines and do your actions (stanislavsky) without worrying about needing to push any fear into yourself because it’s THERE, it’s PRESENT and whatever happens in the scene will either alliviate it or make it worse!!!

it’s a BEAUTIFUL way to prepare for a scene right before you go on stage too omg. last semester we were doing julius ceasar, and there was a scene where i had to play a servant who just witnessed a murder and just. go in and beg for my life and the life of my master. so i did the fear emote, and then my friend (playing my master at the moment) decided to talk to me in character and give me the order to throw myself in front of the murderers and LMFAO by the time i ran on there i was like fucking in tears i was so terrified HA

THERE ARE SO MANY MORE TOO IT’S SO FUN YOU JUST GOTTA GO AND SEE WHAT WORKS FOR YOU WHOO!!!!!! HOPE THIS WAS FUN AND HELPFUL YES

[frwdmvmnt]

12:14PM PST, TWENTY-SIXTH POST: HUMILITY

** PLEASE NOTE, I WROTE THIS ON 4/12/17 AT 12:14PM PST ON A PLANE & NEVER UPLOADED THE POST. THIS WAS THE TRUE 26TH POST, SO MY NEXT POST WILL BE THE TWENTY-NINETH. THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING....OR NOT. LOL BUT THANKS FOR READING THIS PART.”

Hello, you. Thanks for reading today. I really do appreciate your eyes and patience. You see, I value every part of life, so I feel it’s important to pay attention to everything and hold onto everything. I remember dates and faces, secrets, anniversaries, favorite colors, first times, lots of things. I’m intrigued by others and when I get to know them, I listen. So, the more people I meet, the more I absorb. I’m on a plane, thousands of miles above the ground, in the aisle seat sitting next to a sweet woman who reminds me of my mom. I don’t know her, but I love her. Before we really got to speaking, I felt moved by her and I prayed for her. Then we got to talking and had the best chats.

the best

I’m going to get off of this plane and see my parents for the first time since in a few months. They felt helpless remaining in New Jersey, but they respected my wishes to stay there and allow us to handle this part of the journey the way we wanted too. My mom has been there for me through every single thing I’ve ever gone through in my life. Over the years, I’ve involved her less in the detailed parts of the processes being navigated.

flashback

I’m writing as I experience. I literally just had a flashback to when I was younger and remember I was always in shock that my mom felt affection for me. She wasn’t affectionate, but she was always there. If we had practice or a game, she was there to watch. Sometimes, we had games that were really far and she would drive to each one, almost always getting lost and refusing to stop for directions. I’m kind of like that; I like seeing new things, so getting lost is fun! I know I’m not the only one. When I went through something scary, she showed fear for the first time; that’s when I knew she loved me. When I realized it, I felt so sorry for all the things I ever felt toward her when I didn’t get my way. I felt so horrible for being mad at her and for disobeying her. I promised myself I would never lie to her again. So, if I’m not ready to talk to her about something, I just avoid her.

Sorry, mom.

She’s always had her life together, so I look up to her and want to do things on my own. I never sat down to think about how I viewed her when I was younger, except for recalling how strict she was with me. Now that I do, I remember all the times I had a moment when I was like, “Wow, she’s amazing.” That just made me cry. I don’t share this to boast about how great my mom is because there are many people who didn’t share that experience. I’m so grateful for her, so what I’ve learned most from her is that when you do what you are called to do, you just go out into the world and change it without getting a parade in your name in return. Once in a while, she gets a thank you or an old student who thanks her. Everyone who knows her, hugs her. It’s great.

Purpose

When you know your why, nothing can shake your method of pursuit. I remember, many times, in the years I was competing in the NPC, meeting people who had an opinion about what I might look like or how I may place in a competition. The experience was what I did it for. I knew I didn’t look like the girls who were winning. Still, I did what I was told. Why? I wanted to practice obedience and discipline. I wanted to prove myself that I could do it and not just one time. I continued to follow instructions provided to me by my coaches and, ultimately, my body responded poorly to the way I prepared for my last few competitions. I made conscious decisions to follow instructions and I’m proud of my determination. From that point on, however, my health spiraled downward. It isn’t anyone’s fault. I had never competed at that level and I hadn’t competed under my coaches long enough for them to know my body. I loved every day of that journey; the happy were glorious and the tough were romantically challenging. I wrote on Instagram every single day during my preparation and from the time I became apart of the team in 2014. I wanted to make sure I took it all in and kept myself accountable. Who know I would inspire others to start working out also? Others who were in my life—people i’d met through the gyms I went to, friends I had in college, my own family members—began messaging me and letting me know that I played apart in their decision to incorporate fitness into their lifestyle. At that point, I realized competing wasn’t just about me; it was about my own kids who, in the future, would watch me get on stage after watching my discipline and resisting temptation at dinner with the family, see my hard work pay off and inspire them to execute their goals with that much, if not more, discipline.

It was never about me.

I was so upset when my health started to shift into worrisome territory. I went into a depression that lasted for a while. I stopped posting about my workouts for a bit, then stopped posting my own workouts. I gained weight and I was upset that it wouldn’t come off. There were many reasons for the weight gain and for the duration of that weight gain. However, it wasn’t until recently that I decided that those reasons don’t matter anymore. I’ve stuck to a whole-food and, for the most part, paleo-ish diet. I eat whole foods along with RX bars, which are made from whole foods, and supplement with vegan protein before/after the gym, depending on the day. I never stopped working out when I was diagnosed with cancer. I continued to work out and committed to going to five classes per week at my gym with my friends so that, when I my body is cancer-free, I’d still be strong and just get stronger, faster, more fit, etc. In the last few weeks, I’ve lost about ten pounds and actually finished a workout well within the average range of the gym goers that day. I’ve spent the last few months being in the back of the class, losing my wind and feeling like I still can’t get my breath. However, this week, I adjusted my breathing; it almost sounds so simple, but its exactly what worked. I know my body even more now; I feel something is wrong and I listen and adjust.

Do you ever hear something trying to grab your attention?

When it comes to my physical body, I am really quick to act on my body telling me something. However, when it comes to my mental body, I hesitate at times instead of diving right into an idea. Not every idea is meant to be brought to life. I’ve never met someone who disagreed with that and I’ve learned that I’m so much happier when I accept something to be true for myself after ensuring I’m understanding what I’m saying, showing, responsible for. Have you ever gotten into a car accident and learned that you don’t have full coverage? “How!?,” you wonder because of how much you pay monthly for insurance. Well, you signed on the dotted line without completely understanding what you were signing up for and what you were responsible for.

Education will help you be free.

There are so many characteristics humans share that come naturally to so many. However, there are many that don’t. I’m realizing that one of my favorite lessons is having learned how to be hospitable. Our parents sent us to Puerto Rico in the summer and we stayed with her cousin, Madeline, one time without our parents. We had cousins that we played with at some of our aunts and uncles houses, but when we were at Madeline’s house, we felt like we were at home. She was the best host and she reminded us a lot of mom. She taught me to always do my best to help others feel like home. Whenever and wherever I am, I try to take care of someone or some few, for the sake of my soul’s purpose, which is to serve. I love to do for others and it brings me great gratitude. My grandma is like that; she pretty much raised me. I love her like I love my mom and I think they’re both so special and kind. All of these women taught me do be there for others and be attentive to others; to give others privacy; to be present if needed; to express myself and to offer what I had if it could help.

You never know how much of a difference in the world you’re making.

Thanks for reading! I hope you have a wonderful week and, if you’re celebrating Easter, yay!!! I’m excited for this entire weekend. My friends and family, you are so loved and so cherished. God bless each of you.

—E

[ilonavic]

25 Q/A Personality Tag

A dear friend of mine asked me to do this tag myself after I wrote this a while ago for my lovely friends here on Tumblr, thanks to the post by @annarieta regarding this tag, it gave me a little courage to do it. (I actually think there are many scary questions, I don’t like the idea of revealing it to just about anybody.) RULES: Tag people you want to get to know better.

1. Are you introverted or extroverted? I’m very introverted. I can go weeks on my own, without needing company or social stimulation. 

2. Are you ruled by emotions or logic? I reason from a point of logic, but ultimately make decisions based of what I feel will make everyone the happiest. 

3. What is your happiest memory? Like many others have said already, which was a bit surprising to read, I don’t recall many outstanding happy memories. Like @annarieta said, it’s the small things mostly. But I remember happy car rides with my best friend where we sang (screamed) to music, and traveling to the Vatican City with my classmates. Even if the company wasn’t necessarily good all the time, that place really made me happy. It was so beautiful. 

4. What is your saddest memory? Nowadays, every winter, I go into a state of hibernation really. It’s very dark here during the winter, we have about 5 hours of sunlight everyday. It’s cold, it’s dark and murky. It makes me very depressed. But um. The day I lost my best friend is a terrible memory. We were friends for 8 years and I’ve missed her very much for 3 years since. 

5. In what kind of world would you rather live in? I’d love to live in an Elven world. I love the architecture, I love the purple/blue/mystic gloom of the places. The nature, rivers are very beautiful. Where people cherished art, music, writing, love, beauty etc, and no one cared a wit for politics, cruelty or had any desire to forbid people from being different or happy. 

6. What is your favorite video game? The Witcher, Skyrim and BioShock are my babies. 

7. What is your biggest fear for yourself? Being hated by people. 

8. What is your biggest wish for yourself? To be a happy little hermit =) In a beautiful place where I can write stories, paint and be surrounded by 20 dogs.

9. What fictional character do you relate to the most?  Queen Freya from The Huntsman (she’s my avatar for a reason guuuuuuys). Wait, let me explain, haha. She’s portrayed as a complex evil character. I don’t consider myself to be evil, nor do I consider myself to be purely good either. I can relate to her character process. Alike her, I was very trusting and happy when I was little, I was truly a little sunshine. But like with so many of us, life happens, and then life happens again, and I became... well, a different person really. Like her, I often feel misunderstood and isolated. But I also cherish loyalty above all, and shun love away from me (I also freaking love ice and snow). I think love is beautiful when I see it with other people, but I could never love like that myself, somewhere it’s hardwired in my brain in a twisted way that love is a weakness and can be used to manipulate and harm me. Heartache and emotional suffering is something I'm terrified of (you know, when you can physically feel pain in your chest), and I can’t handle it anymore. So I don’t feel romantic desire towards people anymore, I think I’ve... removed it?  

10. If you could become anything, without any education or demands, what would you choose as your profession? Author or an actress.

11. Do you have any siblings? Two brothers and one sister. I’m the second youngest. 

12. Have you ever wanted to injure someone? When I was bullied, I wanted to injure the people who hurt me all the time, but I never actually did it. 

13. Have you ever wanted to help someone, but didn’t? Yes, but I always try to do the best I can to help someone, even if I don’t know the person. It doesn’t matter, I’ll happily embarrass myself to help someone in need. 

14. What makes you angry? Bullies, homophobes, racists, sexists, rapists, murderers, especially animal abusers can fuck off right to hell. 

15. What makes you happy? My precious jewel, doggy.<3 Also, traveling and airplanes is a joy. Museums, exploring new places, yeah. Fun fun. 

16. Would you rather beat up a small child once - or get beaten up by an angry man every single day for the rest of your life? I don’t want to beat up anybody, so bring me the man. Maybe I’d get really psychologically twisted and Stockholm Syndrome would set in so I’d start to like it lol. 

17. What places would you visit today if you could? Ireland! Scotland! England! Just because @lithiumgrayangel showed me how beautiful Sevilla is, I wanna visit Sevilla one day. But of course, beautiful Italy (Rome is stunning), Venice again, Russia (possibly Moscow), FRANCE! Finland, Norway and Iceland are beautiful too. Also Warsaw, UK and US. And Budapest. And New Zeeland, Canada, Australia... Gosh I wanna go everywhere, I can’t pick one!

18. Do you want children? Why? If not, why not? To be honest, it will depend on what situation I am in. Did I, against all odds, found a person who wants children? Then yes, in a stable household and in happy relationship, I’d consider having one or two, no more. But... Right now, that future is looking very bleak. And if I end up with someone who don’t want children, then I won’t have children. Just get a dog instead, they’re less fussy.  

19. Did you have a happy childhood? It’s a bit complicated. When I was young, I did have a happy childhood, but my father was also abusive back then. He calmed down once I became a teenager, and then the bullying started, and when the bullying stopped, my dad became sick. And my mother has basically been hysterical and wacky my entire life so. But um, to be honest. I had friends, a roof over my head, food on the table. I got nothing to complain about. 

20. Have you ever done drugs? If you have, would you do it again? I’ve been offered, but I’ve never been interested and nor will I be. I know a couple of people who just smokes pipe and marijuana in front of me? I think it’s odd but. I try not to judge, and it’s not my business. 

21. Would you rather become a child again, possessing all the knowledge you have today, or become middle-aged, with 45 000 000 € on your bank account? I’d become a child again, start my life over, and be twice as intelligent. Could be like a scientist or something. 

22. If you could become any existing famous person in the world - who would you be and why? I admire Lana del Rey a lot, but I wouldn’t want to be any celebrity. Unless I can become someone really powerful and change the world. Like Donald Trump and resign as the president so someone more capable can take over. 

23. Are your parents married or divorced? They’re divorced, but sadly live together still. It’s a stupid decision, but I reckon my father wouldn’t last a day on his own, and my mother must be addicted to misery. 

24. Where do you see yourself in the future? An author, hopefully. Making a positive change, helping people, having meaningful friends in my life, living in a beautiful place surrounded by nature and animals. :) 

25. If you’d like, a question of your own here. Mine is directed to my fellow Witcher lovers; Who and Why?

For friendly purposes, Regis or Cirilla?  I like Ciri, and I can understand why people would choose her, she seems like she would be a lovely friend. But ultimately, I’d have so much to discuss with Regis. I feel like, without being self-absorbed or... delusional in any way, I have some things in common with him. We’re too loyal, we fight for people who don’t cherish our love or advice and we both like discussing philosophical topics with loooooooong sentences (as you’ve probably noticed by now). I’d feel so good in his company, he’s a lovely lovely man. 

For romantic purposes, Dettlaff or Avallac’h? My darling Avallac’h, I know there are so many people who misunderstands him, confuses his intelligence for arrogance. People call him horrible things. To be honest, I don’t have too much against Dettlaff though, I like him, and I love his complex nature. But of course, I’d never pick anyone over Avallac’h. He’s brilliant, and I would love to discover a million new worlds with him. (ps. marry me have my babies)

As your co-worker, Caranthir or Geralt? Caranthir would be a brilliant colleague, though Geralt is probably more lovable, Caranthir is intelligent. He’d help me with my tasks and I’d sit there gazing into his eyes and not hearing a word he’s saying. ♥‿♥ (true story, I often drift away when people talk to me)

As your boss, Eredin or Ge’els? I don’t know, he feels more attainable than Ge’els do. Ge’els is just da boss, he’d rule over me, I’d always feel incredible stupid and inferior around him. But Eredin is kinda wacky, but I love him, but he’s a silly goose so I’d just try to befriend him to eventually marry him so we could rule the galaxy together. 

As your best friend, Yennefer or Shani? Yennefer, my oh my, I’ve been in love with her since the first time I saw her. She’s INTELLIGENT AND INTELLIGENCE IS SEXY ASF. Shani, you cool too but. Meh, I think her character is a bit boring. There’s not much interesting about her that makes her stand out? She’s not really complex either? She’s just... idk... pretty and stuff. Redhead and stuff. (sorry @vaporeox dont kill me)

As your ally, Vernon Roche or Anna Henrietta? Nah nah, always Roche, I love that man immensely. I’d marry him too. I’d marry everyone. 

As your worst enemy, Triss or Dandelion? I don’t really like Triss that much. What she did to Yennefer has ruined her in my eyes.

Tagging: I’ve already tagged people for this tag, but I would like to tag some of my lovely followers who haven’t been tagged in this, tho I can’t possibly tag all of you, I’m sorry about that: @blackeasteagle @everydayzer0es @spooky-cowfish @dovahkiin-deathbat @shadanakara @i-am-the-sword-in-the-darkness @o-moonyue-o @heroesneverdiie @blohandrum @rosiesuzuya and anyone else who wants to do it - you can write you were tagged by me. ❤