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toxophilitis · 4 months

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Horny Peeping Sister cont

Chapter 7

The next week after her piano lesson, Becky was walking home down a dark alley, whistling her favorite piece, when suddenly a man stepped out of the shadows and grabbed her by the arm. She started to struggle and cry out when his voice fought its way through her terror and instantly calmed her.

“Easy Becky, it’s me, shhh!”

“Daddy!” she gasped, her heart at her throat. “God, you scared me to death!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to, ahhh, I guess I didn’t think.” Becky now could see that her father had on the black outfit he now wore whenever they went out spying on people. He’d taken to voyeurism very quickly and Becky was glad for that. She’d gotten some very good fucks out of her old man while watching other men and women getting it on. “What are you doing here?” Becky whispered. “I thought maybe we could go out for awhile,” Jim replied. “But what about mom? She’s home!”

“I told her I was going to pick you up from your lesson and take you to the library. She doesn’t suspect a thing, I’m sure. Come on, Beck,” he whined, “let’s go find a good one and have a little fun.” Becky wanted to say no to punish her father for having frightened her so badly but she just couldn’t. It had been a couple of days since she had been fucked and a couple more than that since she’d been out peeking so she was hot for it. Her stern expression finally broke and she took her waiting father by the hand. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s see what we can find.” As quietly as ever, they slipped up and down the blocks and sometimes even between the houses. Things seemed unusually quiet and they were about to give up when a lighted window up ahead of them drew them like moths to a flame. “That’s Mike’s house,” Jim said, naming one of his co-workers. “Oh, I can’t wait to see him fucking Diane! I swear, if they weren’t married, I might go for that little piece myself!”

“Shhh,” Becky cautioned, worried her father’s excitement might give them away. They quickly moved toward the window, Jim hot to get a look at his friend and his wife fucking their brains out. But when they arrived near the bright window, Jim got quite a shock. Diane was there all right, but the man humping betweeen her golden thighs was no one he had ever seen before! “She’s cheatin’ on him!” Jim gasped. “I don’t believe it!” It didn’t matter to Becky that the couple on the old-fashioned four-poster bed was not man and wife. All she cared about was the fucking being hot to watch. Carefully she opened the gate to their backyard and led her babbling father closer to the fucking action than they had ever ventured before. “Quiet Dad, they might hear you,” she whispered, crouching down beside a potted plant. “And get down!” The bedroom had a sliding glass door that led out onto the patio that Becky and her father were crouching on. The drapes were open completely and Becky could see all of the plushly furnished bedroom and the wanton fucking taking place there. With a lusty sigh she settled down to enjoy the show. The woman in the house, Diane, was a tall honey-blonde, her hair falling nearly to her waist. Right now she was on her back with her feet spread and pointed toward the open window while a dark-haired man humped mightily between her legs. Becky watched his ass bob up and down and creamed. Jim stared at the fucking couple like he had never seen people fucking before. Diane had always been one of his fantasy girls, but he had always imagined her to be beyond reproach and totally unobtainable. She and Mike seemed devoted to one another and now, as he realized how wrong he’d been, his cock ached for what he might have had. Becky was stretched out on her stomach on the grass in front of the window and Jim joined her.

He pulled her into his arms and held her tight against him, his cock against her ass, as they undulated together and watched the man pounding between the blonde’s bent legs. Becky bounced her ass back against her father’s cock. She could already feel that it was very hard and so she mashed herself against it, teasing him. Jim reached around his little girl and felt her titties. She had on a light jacket and he unzipped it slowly, hoping that the people inside wouldn’t hear it. But he needn’t have worried. They were fucking so hard they wouldn’t have heard anything short of a nuclear explosion. Then, opening the middle few buttons of her blouse, Jim at last reached the bare skin of his daughter’s tits. “Where’s your bra?” he whispered. “Who needs it? It just gets in the way.” Jim laughed at her bluntness and cupped her little titties. The nipples were very pointed, partly from what she was watching and partly from being exposed to the cool night air. Jim took them between his thumbs and forefingers and gave them each a little pinch. As always, her tits were very sensitive, and Becky wiggled back against her dad with more vigor than before. The shaft of his hard-on ran right along the crack of her ass and Becky danced against it. Inside the house, Diane lifted her upper body, holding herself up on her bent elbows. The man continued to hump between her bent knees and she took hold of his face and pulled it to hers, kissing him hungrily. For the first time Becky got a good look at the woman’s face and saw that she was very beautiful. Her hair framed her perfect features and her large, luminous eyes made her look rather exotic. Becky could understand her father’s lust for Diane. Just looking at her even made Becky feel a little funny and she moaned. Jim’s fingers moved down, opening her clothes the rest of the way. Then he shoved her sticky panties away from the flowing gash of her pussy and buried both of his hands there. He shoved one finger from each hand into the hole of her cunt and fucked them in and out like pistons, one always inside her. Becky couldn’t stay still while her father finger-fucked her this way. She humped and rolled her hips, increasing the friction his fingers gave her cunt. The night air tickled the hairs of her pussy and she shivered when her warm cream rolled out and met the cool breeze, chilling the hot meat of her cunt. Jim grunted against the side of her neck. As he filled and refilled his daughter’s pussy, his eyes never left his friend’s wife and the man fucking her so mightily. Diane had broken off their steamy kiss and her head had lolled back, her face contorted with fuck-lust and partially covered with her long, silky hair. How Jim wished he could wrap some of that hair around the throbbing shaft of his prick and jack himself off with it! At that thought, he nuzzled his face into Becky’s hair deeper than before. He filled himself with the scent of her and it turned him on like crazy. If he couldn’t have Diane, he could have his own daughter and Jim knew that fucking his own flesh and blood was a thousand times more thrilling than fucking anyone else.

Wet, sticky sounds came from between his little girl’s legs as his fingers continued to trench out her juicy cunt. The scent of her pussy surrounded them like a cloud and Jim inhaled deeply, getting high on the luscious aroma of teenaged pussy. His head swam with it. The smell of her cunt made his mouth water and Jim knew that he had to taste, as well as touch, her juicy young cunt. He gave her pussy a couple more spine-tingling jabs and then pulled his fingers free from her clasping pussy-walls. “Wha-?” Becky mumbled.

“Shhh, turn around, I want to eat you,” Jim whispered, helping her into the position he had in mind. Becky squirmed around until her head was pointing toward the window. Her dad then removed one of her shoes and pulled her jeans down and off that leg, leaving them tangled around her other knee. Her pussy sizzled right in front of his open, ogling eyes and he dove head-first right into its creamy depths.

Becky arched up when her father’s lips hit the open lips of her pussy. Her head tipped way back and she found that she could still see Diane and her fuck-partner only now they were upside down! The picture almost made Becky laugh except that her father plunged his tongue into her pussy deeply and changed her emotion from amusement to pure fuck-lust. “Ohhh,” she sighed, opening her legs as wide as she could and assuming the same sexy position Diane was in. While in the house the man between the woman’s legs, his cock filling her cunt, out in the yard the man filled the woman with his tongue, his head bobbing between her thighs. Jim slurped down all his daughter’s juice greedily, as if he had to get all that he could tonight because tomorrow might never come. Becky humped her ass up out of the damp grass and fed her dripping pussy-meat to her father. She grabbed two big handfuls of his hair and used his head for leverage as she bounced around, now and then still catching a glimpse of what was happening inside the bedroom. Diane leaned forward and so did the man who was fucking her. They embraced and the man pulled her tighter to him, making her sit up flat on her ass.

As Becky watched, she saw them entwine their legs until they were both sitting up and facing each other, his cock apparently still inside of her cunt. “Wow,” she gasped, “that was neat!” Jim looked up over the fuzz of her cunt to see what she was looking at. To his surprise he now saw the back of the man with Diane’s legs around his ass and her pretty face peeking over his shoulder. Neither of them could move much but, from the look of ecstasy on Diane’s face, Jim knew that their new fucking position was pleasing her plenty. Then he flicked his eyes back down and threw himself into the task at hand, eating his daughter out. He curled his tongue into a long tube and thrust into her pussy with it, opening her up like magic. Then he began a series of long, straight fuck-strokes, probing her depths with the soft, slimy length of his rigid tongue. Becky bucked and writhed, her fingers pulling hard at his hair and her nails scraping at his scalp. She made his face bob around between her legs, his nose involuntarily being ground against her upstanding clit. But Jim didn’t mind the slight discomfort his little girl’s lust brought to him. He was glad to let her have her fun. He snorted her smelly juices and gulped them down by the mouthful, loving every tasty minute of this cunt-lapping. As Jim delved his tongue far inside his daughter, scooping out helping after helping of her tasty juices, he rolled his own hips from side to side, his hard-on trapped beneath his body. It was uncomfortable to have to lay on top of such a swollen piece of cock-meat, but the man endured, more interested in his daughter’s pleasure than his own.

“Oh, Daddy, ohhh, ohhh!” Becky whimpered. “You do that sooo goood!”

Jim lapped the flat of his tongue up and down over her entire cuntal area. The tip of his tongue touched the puckered hole of Becky’s ass and he was reminded of how well she had taken his cock when he had first fucked her ass a few days ago. In appreciation he tickled that rough little dent with his tongue tip and then again lapped all the way up her creamy gash until his tongue reached the pulsing button of her clitty. He pulled her clit in between his lips and drew it out long and taut. Then he beat the end of it with the end of his tongue, loving the way Becky bucked and grunted. His hands were on either side of his munching face, keeping the girl’s legs spread as far apart as possible, giving himself plenty of room to work. Slurping noisily, Jim glanced over Becky’s cunt-bush to check out the action inside the house. Just as he looked up, he saw the man lean back and take Diane with him, guiding her up onto his prick. With a look of extreme fuck-lust, Diane took her perch on top of him, his cock securely buried in her pussy, like a queen to her throne. Better than ever her full, mature body was displayed for Jim’s hot eyes. Her curves were the lush, padded curves of a grown woman. She rolled her hips slowly, fucking at him as she looked down right into his eyes with heavy-lidded horniness. Jim watched her tits sway as she fucked that lucky man. More turned on than ever, his cock pounding against the wet grass, he reached forward and took hold of Becky’s young tits. He kept his eyes on Diane, imagining it was her full set of titties that he had his fingers stretched around. His breathing grew heavy and thick and the jets of air escaped his nostrils and tickled Becky’s clit, making her squirm with pleasure. Her father’s tongue was driving Becky out of her mind. Again she arched herself up, giving him more of her pussy and allowing her to take an upside-down look at what Diane was up to.

The sight of the perfect woman moving on top of the man’s cock with such sensuous grace made Becky green with envy. She couldn’t wait for her own young body to finish developing. “Ummm, fuck her,” Becky spat, the top of her head in the moist grass as she moved with Diane, jerking her cunt downward at the same speed. “Fuck him good!”

The growling sound of his daughter’s lewd commands thrilled Jim. He zig-zagged his tongue up through her open cuntal crack, touching her sizzling skin only lightly and feeling the way she shuddered with mounting joy. He intended to toy with her a little more and then, when Becky couldn’t stand it anymore, he wanted to bring her off like never before. Becky arched her body, feeding her dad her pussy while she watched Diane give the other man her cunt. When Jim’s hands left her tits and went back down to hold her legs apart, Becky grabbed her own titties, rolling and pinching and tweaking them, making herself soar higher with her incredible fuck-lust. “Oh, Daddy! Daddy!” she cried, her voice rather shrill in the empty night air. Jim’s pulse pounded in his ears as he shoved his tongue deep into Becky’s cunt and then wiggled it around inside of her. He made his tongue flutter into her cunt-tunnel and then run around her clit, touching her everywhere that mattered as he brought her closer and closer to her beloved orgasm. Becky whimpered, her body jerking violently. Her hands left her father’s head and instead grasped the grass beside her jumping ass, ripping it out by the roots in big, wet clumps. She no longer saw Diane, she no longer saw anything except her own relief, which got closer and closer with each thrust of her father’s fucking tongue. “Oh! Oh! Ohhh!” she grunted, her words louder than ever before.

Jim jammed her full of tongue one last time and then felt her go rigid beneath him. Becky let out a blood-curdling scream, but Jim ignored it, pumping her pussy with his tongue with a quick, deep determination that kept her creaming and screaming for several endless seconds.

“Daddy! Daddy!” she cried, her young body bucking and jumping. “Ohhh!”

Jim was in the groove with her orgasm, enjoying it with her until he looked up into Diane’s bedroom. All the fucking there had stopped and Diane and her partner were looking around themselves, Becky’s screams having broken into even their intense fucking trance. Jim’s heart nearly stopped as Diane bounded off the bed and looked out her large window. Fortunately for him and Becky the difference in the light was so extreme she still couldn’t see them. Jim saw her turn back to the man and say something and, not one to take chances, Jim pulled himself up, gathering the still-whimpering Becky up into his arms. “Daddy, wha...where...ummm,” Becky moaned as he lifted her up and ran with her toward the gate, her loosened pants dangling down from her half-naked body. As he let the out the gate, Jim turned around to see an outside light come on and Diane’s fucking partner stepped out into the backyard, his cock still at half mast. Jim watched him scan the yard and then stride out into the grass. With Becky still cooing and sighing in his arms, Jim watched in horror as the young man bent down and picked up something, straightening up and holding Becky’s forgotten tennis shoe in one hand. “Jesus!” Jim sighed, his heart pounding as he turned and ran down the alley as fast as he could, the burden of his daughter heavier than ever in his arms.

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anastasiabowe · 5 months

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“…ᴀᴏᴍɪɴᴇ.”

Aomine was playing basketball with random people at the basketball courts down the block from his house. You were walking with friends, when you saw him dominating them all.

You gasp and run to the tall fence that surrounded the court.

“Aominichi!” Your pretty voice called out to him. Your friends giggling at the other men who were shirtless and sweaty.

He looked back at you and his energy was… off, but you obviously didn’t notice!

You ran around to where the fence gate was, and your friends followed in awkwardness. You ran to the bench where his stuff was, and he walked over to you, looking a bit annoyed.

“Can you not be here right now…” he looked off to his left and it seems like he was a bit embarrassed you were here.

“I wanna watch you play!” Your bright smile beamed at him, his gloomy cloud not faltering around his head.

“I kinda came here to play to get my mind of things, and you are kind of not helping.”

“Well, I promise I won’t say anything!” Your voice was getting whinier, babier, and he wanted to yell at you so you can take a hint.

“Please, just go do something else away from me.” His voice didn’t sound so cautious anymore, he sounded mean.

“But aomi-“

“Y/n, can you ever just get the fucking hint? Right now I don’t want to hang out with you, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t want to see you!” His voice raised, and your friends looked at him in annoyance.

Your friend tizzy understood him, but understood you more so she helped you up and walked you away, your other friend Kira glared at him.

“Still got a small dick I see,” She spat and looked him up and down. “Fucking bitch.” She walked away towards you both and you were now holding back tears.

Aomine pinched his bridge and turned back to the game. Everyone looked a bit upset at him, not a single person in the mood to play the fun game they were before.

“What?” He annoyingly asked them.

“Who talks to their girl like that? Especially a cute one?” One said.

“Yeah dude, you’re lucky you have a girl that wants to spend time with you.” Another said.

“Would hate to date someone like you.” One whispered.

“Right.” Another agreed.

Aomine rolled his eyes, but truly, he knows they’re right.

“Y/n, please stop crying! He’s probably just in some mood!” Tizzy rubbed your back at a bench far far far from the basketball court.

“He-he’s always in ‘some mood’!” I wiped my eyes, and Kira looked like she was about to kill someone.

“He’s such a dick! You are such a great person, and he is basically using you. I think you should have dated Kagami or some rival of his.” Kira angrily said.

“No, I-I love Aominichi!” My tears finally drying up.

Kira cringed. “He doesn’t deserve to be called ‘Aominichi’,” she mocked in a Whitney voice, not mocking you though.

“Thanks guys, I-i think I wanna go home for now.” I softly said, standing up.

“Do you want us to hang with you, or do you want some alone time?” Tizzy offered.

“I just wanna play with Loki and be alone.” I smiled. They hugged me and we parted ways.

I had walked down to the train and got on. My phone dinged and I looked at it.

Aominichi💗: Hey, can we talk?

I opened the message and closed it, I wanted him to know I read his message but don’t care. Yeah, it hurt to do that, I love talking with him, but again, like many times, he hurt me and I can’t give in to that!

Another ding.

Aominichi💗: come on Y/n don’t ignore me😒

I opened it again and closed it.

I finally reached my house, and outside was Aomine.

“Shit.” I groaned to myself. I walked through my gate and right part him, I didn’t even give him a glance. I opened my door and tried to shut it, but he pushed it open.

“Y/n, talk to me.” He sounded irritated. Good.

“I have nothing to say to you, Aomine.” The name you gave him struck his heart. Yeah it’s his name, but you’ve never, no matter how upset you were, you never called him by his actual name.

“Y/n, come on-“

“I have nothing to say to you.” I grabbed Loki and sat on my couch. The white cat glared at Aomine, knowing he did something wrong.

Aomine stood there like “🧍🏻”.

I looked at him, heart hurting. I’m not a cold person, this kills me more than it kills him.

“I’m sorry,” He finally said. I looked at him and wanted to hug him, but no. “You know how I get!”

“Mhm.” At this point my cold facade was faltering, tears burning at the back of my eyes. My throat was starting to close and tense.

He walked over to me and got on his knees.

“I love you so much, please forgive me.” His hands clasped together and his eyes wide.

“If you loved me you wouldn’t treat me so bad.” A pout formed on my face, slowly giving into his apology.

“I know, I’ll work on it.”

After looking at him, seeing him on his knees asking for forgiveness was not like him, so I guess I could forgive him.

“Alright, I forgive you.” I smiled and his face lit up, but then a smug look appeared on his face.

“Yep. Don’t think I’m getting on my knees for you ever again.” He hopped on his feet and leaned over to kiss me.

“But seriously, I’ll work on my attitude.”

“I know you will.” I smiled and he rolled his eyes.

“Also never call me Aomine again. Doesn’t sound right coming from you.” His face cringed at his own name.

“Yeah, yeah, you big baby.”

#aomine daiki #daiki aomine #Aominichi #knb x reader #knb #knb aomine #tōō academy #dai-Chan

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lilithgreye · 2 months

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MY SCARY STALKER EXPERIENCES

⟢ from a 8h venus, 11h mars, 7h pluto, 8h chiron, and lilith in 1h person ⟣

note: only fake names are used

i have attracted an insane amount of stalkers in my life because of these placements. also if not stalkers just ppl that obsessed with me in general and that won’t leave me alone even when i ask them to. there’s been lots of guys that i’ve rejected but still continue to pursue me and it doesn’t stop at men because women have prayed on my downfall also and tried to one up me every time they saw me succeed or hurt me because they saw i succeeded in anything as well. here are a few stories i have to tell (out of many):

stalker #1: august

this was one of my worst stalkers

i met august in the seventh grade at my bus stop. he seemed very shy and innocent at first. not creepy at all. he asked for my number the first day he met me so i said “sure, why not?” as i had just moved to a new neighborhood and wanted friends. i was always very busy with school and my siblings (my parents didn’t have time to raise them so i did it mostly by myself) so whenever he texted i would try to answer the best i could but i usually didn’t have time. the first time he started being obsessive was when he facetimed me a total of 33 times because i wouldn’t answer him. then shit got way worse. the next day he came to the bus stop he was already there before me and we were there alone. he pulled out a pocket knife to show me that his dad bought it for him. he then made a so called joke saying “i could technically kill u right now if i wanted to”. obviously this scared me. even if he was kidding why do so many men say things like that? this is when it gets scary though. i would go on nightly runs every day after school. mind u i lived in a very safe gated neighborhood and there wasn’t much crime where i lived at the time. i was running past a bush when i got jump scared because i could see someone’s eyes watching me. i carried pepper spray with me at the time but that was it. i got it out and peered around the bush but by the time i had done that the person had already gone into the forest behind the bush and ran off. i got really scared so i ran home only to later that night hear someone outside my window. i opened my blinds a bit to see who it was and they got down really quick to hide so i couldn’t. i got scared so i told my dad and he went outside to check. sure enough .. it was august. my dad told him not to do that and to leave our property. the next day august asks why my dad made such a big deal out of it and i said “because it’s creepy” and i thought this was when he realized i was most definitely not interested in him but then he proceeded to ask me out. i of course say “no i don’t have feelings for u like that” and he proceeds to say in a very serious tone “if u don’t go out with me i will kill u in ur sleep and u will regret it” i was hoping he was being satire but his face did not change. he did not laugh. he meant what he said. i said “if u threaten me again i will file a police report against u” and he said “ur scared then? u should be”. i was so scared to sleep after this because my room was at the very front of the house and he could easily pull out a gun and shoot through my wall or do a number of different things to me. i slept on the couch for the night and of course he begins blowing up my phone. one of his texts read “why can’t i hear u ur usually taking to ur friends on the phone or going for a run at this time?”. i block him. i then hear the doorbell ring and at the time both of my parents are not home. it’s just me, my old brother, and my two younger sisters. i scream through the door “get away from my house or i will call 911” and he screams “i will kill u before they get here if u don’t let me in”. of course i didn’t let him in. i call 911 immediately but he runs away as soon as the police sirens go off. i try to tell the police what happened but of course they dismissed it and said all i could do was ignore him and have my mom drive me to school to avoid him. he wasn’t in any of my classes luckily but he still managed to come across my path during EVERY single passing period. as i was walking out of school to ride the afternoon bus (which he had never rode before) he proceeds to follow me and say he’s riding the afternoon bus now too. he acts as if nothing has happened initially but then says “why did u block me i did nothing wrong?”. i of course sit there in shock making this 😦 face. like i’m sorry? u did NOTHING wrong? are u actually kidding me? this is when he reaches his peak obsession because when we got off of the bus he followed me home even after i screamed at him to stay away from me the whole walk there.

he continued to apologize but finally when we got there (to my house) he said “ur crazy for the way ur acting. just unblock me” and i said “absolutely not leave me alone” then he proceeded to grab me from behind and slam me to the ground. no one was around at the time but it was in broad daylight so i figured he wouldn’t do something to this degree. he did anyway. he pushed me to the ground as hard as he could and pulled my pants down trying to r*pe me. thank god for my neighbor who walked out as this was happening and rushed over to help me pushing august off of me before he could do anything bad. i told the school and he was no longer allowed to be anywhere near me and had to sit alone at lunch for a week since one of the threats he made to me was on the bus. the rest of the year my mom picked me up and dropped me off at school.

#2: rhett

this story is not as bad as others i have but still pretty bad for how young i was

rhett was my first stalker (or because we were so young i guess just the first “obsessive person” in my life. i met him all the way back in the first grade. it started with him following me everywhere. all around the playground at recess, getting mad when i partnered up with anyone but him in class, and telling me if i don’t sit with him at lunch he’ll tell on me. which does seem pretty innocent for a first grade. he seemed like he just wanted a friend initially which i didn’t mind. i thought he had pure intentions so i didn’t mind. turns out i was wrong. by the time we were in second grade he began making inappropriate comments to me that were sexual. at the time of course because i was around 7 i literally knew nothing about sex so i didn’t understand how bad what he was saying was. then things got even worse and he would non stop talk to my mom at our school parties trying to go on a “play date” with me and my mom fell for it. she forced me to hang out with him and then when he came over to my house he groped me and when i told him to stop he would not. then after i told my mom she never made me hang out with him again but it didn’t stop there because in third grade when we had different teachers he would continuously show up to my classes door every day (i assume lying to his teachers and telling them he had to go to the bathroom) and watch me through the window. it was the first time i discovered what an obsessive person was like and felt uncomfortable around a school mate

#3: lindsey

this is more about an obsessive girl than a stalker

this isn’t a long story but basically i had a crush on this guy in fifth grade who we’ll call asher and it turned out somehow (even though i wasn’t cute and was overweight at the time) he had a crush on me and liked me back. lindsey also had a crush on him (mind u i was not friends with her she only sat at my table). asher told me to keep it a secret that he liked me (most likely because i was fat and he was embarrassed idk why i even liked him but anyway) back then i was a loud mouth so i told lindsey. lindsey had shown obsession with me before like for example i remember one time she opened her camera roll in front of me and all of my instagram videos and pictures were in there. i thought it was a little weird but didn’t pay much mind to it until she copied a lot of my instagram posts captions word for word along with the same poses and this was not the only time she’d done something weird like that. anyway she proceeded to tell him during class that i told her he liked me and when i got mad she broke down crying and went on a huge rant saying “well i’m sorry that i’m not as pretty as u and that no boys like me like that and that ur so smart and have so many friends. i just was jealous of u and wanted to take it out on u i’m sorry”

this is lot even all of them either lol. i may have to make a part 2

#astrology #astrology blog #astrology chart #birth chart #astrology community #astro community #stalker #storytime

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rise-my-angel · 9 months

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Heart of the Great Wolf

17 - Plans of Pain and Horror

Pairing: Jon Snow x F!Baratheon!Reader, Robb Stark x F!Baratheon!Reader (Past)

Length: 14.1k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort, canon divergence, reference/discussions of rape, suicidal ideation, grief and trauma response, inferences to miscarriages

Notes: Heavy exploration of heavy trauma and mental duress issues this time. Previous Chapter Here, Series Masterlist Here.

It was an odd feeling, standing there against the railing with a slight nervousness in his body. A feeling he had been learning to let go of, but there were two reasons for them to resurface now. If the circumstances were any different he may have prepared himself for what he once thought was coming to him, but Jon didn’t approach Theon with that kind of intention on his face. Instead of was one of deep introspection, where his true thoughts or feelings were tightly locked away except for the frustrated anger that slipped through the cracks.

Though it was also a nervousness that he knew exactly the last time he felt like that. In the dark dungeon cells of the Dreadfort he had seen the horrific jagged red on your stomach that made him shake. You sat there alive with that, when Theon knew he’d killed men with wounds just like that, and now he knew similar scars sat littered across the chest of the man next to him. The man who may have just stayed dead had you never showed up.

Dynamics twisted, Theon had nothing clever to say or anything teasing to throw. He knew Jon could sense how nervous he was, but now there was something in the man that had felt more commanding then in the days of Winterfell. His voice was low and rasping as he leaned on the railings next to him both looking out to the scene. “What you did for her is the only reason you’re alive right now.”

Nodding to himself, Theons swallowed harshly. “I know that. Even coming here I knew you might kill me soon as I came through those gates.” Sighing to himself he could see the look in your eyes for so long that scared him. “But I knew if I didn’t get her here..she’d rather die then let Ramsay get her back.”

Gloved hands tightened around their grip of the railing and he felt shame once more as the anger fought it’s way to hide in Jon’s voice. “I was going to find her myself, the day they...” Too scared to look at him, he could still feel the pain in his pause. “I didn’t force anyone to come with me, if I was going to have to go after her alone I wouldn’t hesitate. Couldn’t sit here and act as if it wasn’t eating away at me, letting her think no one cared. But I wasn’t the one who protected her. You were.”

Theon could sense there was something intense neither of you were saying. Something that left a protective rage about your safety that Theon had only ever seen in one other man. “They want her to marry Ramsay. More then half the North haven’t come to their side, so they thought if they showed up with their Queen married, already given Ramsay an heir, it would force the rest to surrender.”

Jon beside him was clearly holding a lot back, risking a glance to him that held real pain as he continued on. “If no one helped her get away from him, she would’ve killed herself. Not after what Roose Bolton did, not after what Ramsay..”

“After he what?” Turning with a hand still on the railing to face Theon, he felt intimidated to match his position. Quite the lives they have become for Theon to be the one looking at Jon Snow and wanting to slink away instead of size him up. Eyes dark and the scar around one eye only served to make him seem even wilder as Jon muttered with rough restraint. “I’ve seen the marks around her thighs, I know he touched her but I need you to tell me exactly what he did. Because we both know she’s not okay.”

Maybe it wasn’t his place, but Theon also knew it was torture for him as well. He was the one dragged into that room night after night made to watch. He had to watch as you either fought back or tried to block it all out which only ever made it worse. Force your head up to make eye contact with Theon as Ramsay taunted you both before leaving you to handle the torment and pain. He’d seen the marks some easily hidden, others not because Ramsay wanted someone to watch. It haunted him too, but it also for just a second of seconds, had a question occur to him that blurted out.

“When did you see her like that?”

Jon didn’t respond, his eyes shifted to something a bit heavier behind the grey but it was you with the talent to read so well, not Theon. And certainly not with Jon of all people. “I can’t help her if I don’t know what he did to her.”

Some people were passing by, some with nervous eyes others curious and all directed towards the man draped in black beside him. He wondered if he knew how much he was reminding Theon of those last days he spent with Robb. Once dumb teenagers now turned into leaders, and both of which had a dark temper towards others about you.

“Not here.”

As Jon moved to close the main door to his quarters, his eyebrows quirked up a tinge as he caught Olly’s eyes. Watching with a distant fear and horror as he walked across the gravel with what looked like some kind of drink in hand. Were the place his heart was not right under where that knife had dug into, he would’ve found something to note in how he now seemed to now serve the woman he helped murder Jon for trying to protect.

When he entered, you had barley noticed you didn’t even attempt to touch the food brought to you when Olly sat down a small container onto the desk as you leaned against it. Your head screamed at you to just sleep but you hadn’t found any courage to wander further into this place which held any semblance of her.

It was possible you nodded off at some point in the night, but not enough to made any difference as you went over and over again the plans of your father. The less it made sense for him to have lost the further you understood what he was doing. You had previously been rummaging through everything trying to find the letter. You knew it was right on the desk but it was now gone and you couldn’t take just one more spiralling of panic right now.

But now you felt even more overwhelmed as your palm pressed firm into your forehead. “He thought you would come back to him, he came here still mourning your death. Your father would want-”

“My father thought I was a traitor.” Your hands flew down the desk behind you, the slight slam almost making the boy behind it jump back. “He called Robb a thief, saying he stole half his kingdom if he took Kings Landing he would have come after us next.” The pain in your voice cracked slightly, tone falling as you knew it wasn’t Davos’s fault you were so unreasonable over this. “I stopped being his heir the moment I chose to join Robb instead of sailing for Dragonstone.”

Stepping towards you, your eyes fluttered shut as arms crossed over your chest. Davos speaking quieter then you had yelled, “For a time he was angry, but he knew he made a mistake by turning your offer down. I tried telling him more then once to reconsider making peace with your husband and everytime he denied it right up until you both died.”

Scoffing, you turned your attention to the darkness of the walls around you. “Never once did he step foot in the North. Never liked it, never cared for it but he sent me here for half my life so I wouldn’t end up spoiled and unprepared like Renly. Then he married me to the North only to have them as an easy ally at his back and then still called me a traitor for staying with them.”

The cold in the air now reminded you of that night, how despite the freezing weather around it was the spirits of the North that warmed you. How unsure Robb looked and yet how he never wavered to be the King they needed, the only one they wanted.

“What was I fighting for, if I turn around now and accept the very crown we lost the war fighting against? That I was willing to be their Queen only until something better came into my lap?” Biting your lip before dropping to something softer, more distant and somber. “Besides, I was never their leader Ser Davos. I was Queen only because they chose Robb as their King. I wouldn’t have been anything without him. He was their leader, I wasn’t meant to do this on my own.”

He felt for you, having seen the qualities of the man in person that day. It was clear why the Northmen respected Robb Stark so much, and easy to see those same qualities that Stannis had seen in his brother. He had said it to no one but Davos, but were you still alive Stannis said, he wondered if Jon would’ve accepted his offer of Winterfell, if he too, had offered you as well.

A hand rested on your upper arm as you looked up, an understanding kindness in his eyes that was so uncommon amongst most of the men you’d come across in these years. “These people need a leader, they need someone to follow someone to believe in.”

The way so many had gone to him, the way so many looked to him with love in his new life. “They already have a leader. They don’t need a new one, they just needed to have the one they already believed in back. And he is.”

You hated the ease in which Davos felt like a father sometimes, an honesty with a comfort that was frustratingly effective as it cut to the chase. “Then what does that make you?”

Voice quiet, but both in the room heard it well as it was weak yet conclusive. “Suppose it just makes me someone who is in his way.” Once you may have had something to offer him, but no longer. You had nothing to give Jon or his cause that wouldn’t bring him down. A disappointment you were.

Circling around the desk before he could speak, you sat down with a louder shift in tone. “It might be a better use of your time, Ser Davos to make yourself available to the Lord Commander for the time being. He is the one in charge and with the men who will follow him, he and Stannis were trying to fight for the same cause and they both died for it. He would be better served by you then I would.”

You didn’t mean for it to come off the dismissive way you did, but there was nothing you could see that didn’t leave you behind. It made sense, you married Robb and left Jon behind to the Wall and now it was destiny he do the same to you. And you’d deserve it as far as you were concerned.

He didn’t buy it though, and curse him for knowing you that well. “Your grace if I may,” Your inside twisted at the title, it didn’t used too but since arriving you felt as if it were a mockery. Sitting down in front of you he leaned forward, “You think you’re the only one to worry about disappointing the people you love? That the things we suffer through make us weak in their eyes?”

Hard pressed to find the right words to say, you swallowed heavily hoping it would take the nerves down with it. “Tell me, Ser Davos what could you possibly have done to disappoint the people most important to you in your life?”

There was no hesitation in his answer, the words much more of a surprise. “You had the restraint and the influence to send that woman away yesterday. That isn’t nothing, she’s been attached to the King’s side for a long time and no one has managed to force her to leave until you.” Your eyes narrowed in slight question as he elaborated. “When I tried, it was with a knife and it got me tossed into a cell.”

Your expression must have shifted drastically, because Ser Davos chuckled to himself. “That’s the same expression your father had. She had pushed me one step too far, and right there in the middle of the room I tried to put a knife in her.” It steadied on the tip of your tongue to ask, but you knew the man well enough that something quite wrong must have been that cause. Or very painful.

Leaning forward yourself, you lightened the weight in your shoulders a bit as you spoke a bit more freely. “She only left because I did the exact same thing to her. I was angry, I was confused, hell0 I still am but she just kept trying to convince me to join her. That her visions were all true and not lies made up to hurt people she can’t so easily manipulate.”

Meeting his eyes you found yourself being the open one for the first time, “Told me that her god was trying to say I was with the wrong person. That I was on the wrong side and everything since then had been trying to push me here.” Your eyes drifted to the side, a quiet crack in your tone breaking through. “Saying being with Robb, having our child wasn’t my destiny. I was just so angry, so I shoved her against the wall and told her I’d put a knife through her stomach where Roose Bolton did mine.”

It was an odd thing, but there was a semblance of proud on the mans face. “I don’t mean to overstep, your grace but in my own opinion her talk of destiny is nonsense. You had a husband you loved and a child on the way and she cannot take that from you. Even now that they’re gone, she can’t take away that love between you, that will always exist.” Your eyes flickered down to a spot of nothing on the desk, your throat too choked to make any sound.

You hoped that was true, you really did. But you failed everything Robb had fought for, and betrayed his memory twice over. Davos did not let the thoughts stew though, “You suited each other. Your father wouldn’t have been to happy to hear me say this, but you looked like a proper King and Queen by the others side. Losing both of them will always hurt, but no one can take away what you had. Not even her.”

Not moving, you nodded a single time as he could see the hold in your face trying not to let too much of that pain out in front of anyone. Looking up to Olly he nodded to the side, “Come, let’s go make ourselves useful somewhere else. Give the Queen a moment alone.”

Olly nodded, getting to the door before turning back looking to you and then the food he sat out hours ago. Catching a protest from Ser Davos he quickly grabbed it to bring with him. “I can bring you something warm later.” He was trying very hard to make up what he did in your eyes and you had no idea why.

You didn’t know what Queen anyone saw you as anymore, nor if they should. As the door closed you sat in that silence for a moment before standing abruptly. Ever so slowly, you walked to the main part of the room. Theon had tried to make it relatively inoffensive but you still could sense her right there. Saw where she’d spend her time, where all her books would lay out.

The red woman may have burned her but you were the one to put a knife through her, ending a horrid pain or not it was on you and only you that she was gone. Sending her away was more to spare you from letting that anger inside you take a step too far, stop seeing their faces in hers and maybe they won’t haunt you.

But they did, all of them did. Every waking moment felt as if it was one onslaught of terror after the other in a world that no longer had a place for you in it. Fingers gently tracing over one of the books tucked away you recognized the cover. Smiling to yourself as you flipped it open gently seeing how well worn the pages were, easily seeing Shireen opening it up and going through everything as if she hadn’t read it a thousand times over.

By the time you sat, your back against the wall and knee bent with your feet flat on the floor you rested your forearms over them. Letting your head fall back onto the surface as you looked around. Your father had come here to fight an enemy you barley understood, and yet still found it within him to try and fight for a North that he knew had denied him. Some still would, or did.

You knew of some houses who sided with the Boltons, others more predicable then others. Rumours of the Umbers, some of the Manderlys making you wonder what the justification of their new fealty’s were.

Still not knowing who was left, who escaped or survived or what kind of allegiances lay about the North in truth. Hadn’t even a clue what state the Riverlands would be left in, once under Robb’s rule as well now felt so far away it was impossible to see. It flashed in your mind before you could stop it, the fire around the chanting, the horror of what became of both of them.

He didn’t deserve to be a tossed away pile of bones scattered across the Twins. He deserved be in the North, deserved to be buried with his family he fought for in his own home. He and Grey Wind both didn’t deserve to have it end in such a horror. Bringing any of him home likely wasn’t possible, if the Freys kept track of any beyond that night. Your heart almost plunged down into your stomach as a vile feeling rose in your throat.

An agony in your heart that overtook the nightmares which followed that night beyond. How many of those men would stay aligned with such traitors if they knew what they did with their King. The Young Wolf they had called him and they forced him to die as such. You didn’t know when the tears started, or when they fell too heavy to contain but your head dropped into your arms. Pulling your knees closer to your chest.

You could see them all, feel the blood under your hands and the constant loss surrounding you that all screamed it was your fault. Maybe this new life was for no purpose, maybe this was still the punishment. Eventually the exhaustion took over from the tears, but you had no idea when you fell asleep. Only the dream like sensation of a pair of arms wrapping around you before something soft fell underneath along with a gentle rasp that you couldn’t see in your slumber.

Maybe if you were lucky, you’d never wake up.

Coming around to the waking world, you were laid out under the sheets of a place you hadn’t fallen asleep in. Laid out on your side your eyes slowly opened to the sound of a grumble, as right before you red eyes watched you closely. Ghost sat to the side of the bed, his head laid out on the sheets watching you before letting out a whine when you found his attention. Slowly pushing up on your palms, the sheets fell around your waist leaning forward to run a hand along his fur.

The direwolf leaning right into it with another low grumble before shaking his head out and turning towards the door. Pausing to look back at you, you raised an eyebrow as your voice crept back from a grumbling slumber. “I suppose I can’t argue with that face, now can I?” Head tilting to your words you finally stood up, muscles for once not so angry as you did so. Over a week now had found many rough places to sleep, and even less willingness to stop to do so.

You had felt far warmer then normal and only as you stepped forward towards Ghost did you realize there was a furred cloak wrapped around you, a cloak that had your heart skipping. The last time you had ever seen it was years ago riding away from you when it’s owners father was still alive. The white fur brushed with darker spots alongside it had always stuck out from the other Starks whose were mostly dark with spots of browns and specks of black around it.

Many years ago, still teenagers, you had told him that winters and snow suited him no matter what about it he hated in name. Draped in all black for so many years, it made sense that his companion was the pure white opposite that kept it all balanced. The North felt like it was all around Jon for so long that ever pretending he was anything but a Stark was unfair. You had told Robb that night in Riverrun you never understood why he was treated the way he was.

In truth you logically did know, bastards of Westeros were treated amongst different levels depending on who it was they were born to. It had been a long time since you thought back to that day, but you could still see the boy with striking eyes and dark hair that matched you so well it stunned you into a shock you never quite got over in those days. But Gendry was a lowborn, from what you had been able to tell, possibly knew his way around being sold as a slave as well.

Having any Baratheon in his parentage meant nothing, born destined to live in the slums of flea bottom and that’s all the world would ever care from him because Robert would never have cared. But Jon was as much of a Stark as any you’d ever met and yet the only way you found one another again was in the most dire of lost times at the edge of the world brinking on a darkening end.

He was more of a Stark then you were a Baratheon anymore, no matter what Ser Davos tried to convince you of, you didn’t belong amongst the golds of Stags. But draped in Jon’s fur, you didn’t think you belonged with the wolves either. Just the dirt and rotting ground.

The Lord Commander’s quarters were naturally the most well made of the lot. More rooms were sectioned off with proper privacy rather then most of it in one place. The chill in the air reaching the point you knew it would never truly go away, wrapping the ends of the cloak a little firmer around your front as your eyes narrowed looking around.

For a brief moment, he hadn’t seen you yet. Sat away at his desk with his face twisted into something more exhausted then you’d seen before. It was hard to tell by the light coming from outside, but it appeared to be later in the afternoon, and likely Jon had been there for far too many hours scanning over too many words and numbers to not hurt your eyes eventually.

You hated the jump in your heart, the spike that felt so familiar like everytime you would see him for the first time when returning to Winterfell. Then it was more innocent, a comfortableness with a growing of more heated touch that never quite got off the ground then but just a quiet intimacy with your best friend. Now though, the faces in your mind, the life you lost in one horrible night that told you it was wrong to have anything close to that ever again.

You promised to never leave the other anymore, and you broke that by being pulled back to the world of living and not doing your duty to your vows and following him right back to the darkness. Pain and a scarring ravaging of your mind and body that took away the things he had given you and yet once you escaped that too?

Would they all hate you for what you did? For how it felt now? To look at Jon, his black curls thick, wild, and longer then they’d ever been, and the rest of him sharper and more distinguished from time, face framed by facial hair that you knew what it felt like scratching between your legs. Was it so horrible of you to so easily look at him now, and rediscover things that you once found so easy to love but in a whole new version of the same man. Was it unfair to Robb for you seeing his brother for the first time in years, and that was what happened?

It was a burning inside you that night, like you would be consumed by flames should you not give yourself to him as many times as he needed to take you. Never felt like it was more natural to be with someone, but now it all felt like you were just finding traitor in yourself to more people. A traitor to your father with Robb, and now a traitor to Robb with Jon and all of it was only your fault alone.

Clearly, you’d been standing there for a little longer then you guessed. Jon having set aside whatever took his focus previously as he softly called your name for what sounded like a second attempt. Mind snapping back to him, too falling easily into the wide tenderness of his grey eyes that made you stir uncomfortably. Your voice rough, and tone even more awkward. “You brought me here?”

Jon didn’t respond with the same stilted feeling, just looking to you with the same ease he always had even despite the raging tension in his shoulders. “The only way you could sleep was passing out on the ground or at your desk,”

Your brows narrowed for a moment, “How would you know that?”

His face never changed once and neither did his soft toned confidence. “Because I know you, and I know the last thing you’d want to is to fall asleep in either of their beds.” You hated that he was right, you hated that you had been to terrified to sleep in either your father or Shireen’s beds. Knowing the nightmares would follow thusly.

Stepping a few feet in more, distracting yourself by looking around his quarters to shove the sting in your eyes back down. “So you what, brought me to yours?” Whatever distracting accusation in your voice you attempted failed, either in you or to be fooled by Jon. He knew you so well and you hated every second of it. You couldn’t hide from him and you had the distinct feeling he no longer would let you try.

“If it meant I could keep an eye on you, yes.” You could hear a shift, likely him leaning back in his chair looking you over with a more narrowed, scrupulous gaze. You felt him follow you, as you looked over whatever lay about in the room to not meet his eyes back. Your name slipping roughly from his lips, making your jaw clench and eyes sting more.

Interrupting him before he could push the issue, but trying to push the playfulness in your voice didn’t quite hit it’s mark. “Thought men of the Night’s Watch weren’t allowed women in their beds.” Not looking, you missed the smirk slide easily onto his face.

Still low, his playfulness was much more natural in tone. “No, normally the men prefer sneaking off to Mole’s Town to stay in theirs.” But hair so red flashed in your mind and you knew it wasn’t there which his company was found, and you hated yourself deeply for feeling uneasy over it.

You had no right. You married his brother, kept another man’s bed warm while you were being looked to as a Queen and he was here shut off from the family who wished they did him better. You had no right to feel this way about Jon finding that same thing with another woman it was his life. The hands clutching the cloak gripped tight enough you could feel the strain in your knuckles, at least hidden by the black of the fabric over it.

Trying to smile while casting your eyes over titles on a bookshelf, “Suppose if they punished everyone for that, there would be nothing but corpses to man the Wall.”

“You mean more then it already is now?” You didn’t know if he intended it as a joke or not, but it finally made you whip around with a sharp unamused glare. It was all too clear exactly how those scars on his chest felt and nothing funny about it came to you. But the small conflict in his eyes had you pull back a bit. Wasn’t really funny to him either.

Glad he was giving you the space, you walked a bit closer before sitting in the seat opposite across the desk. Your hands still tightly gripping the cloak around you as he looked you over with something you didn’t want to recognize. Something you wish didn’t warm the chill in your veins. “I didn’t mean-”

“I know.” Your eyes flickered back up to his, something that was keeping himself at a distance to you but yet it appeared as if the effort was difficult for him. Once in another life, you both found it easy to keep apart so honestly. Hide in plain sight and save these kinds of emotion for private. But now? Now doing so in private felt almost worse, like giving into what you didn’t deserve anymore.

The quiet between you was heavy, but you had no clue how to break it. No idea what to say to make any of this easier, make any of it make sense. Neither of you should be here, and yet?

“Ser Davos told me my father offered you Winterfell.” His brows narrowed a tad as you glanced up to him and then back to the window on the walls. A twisting in your own expression at the idea, “Said he would legitimize you, give you Winterfell if you helped reclaim it. But you said no.”

The conflict in Jon’s own eyes were missed as he finally looked away from you. He was confident when he said no to the King, but all it took was one discussion with Ser Davos afterwards that stripped him off the lies he told himself. You did not know what exactly was said between them, and you did not presume to ask the details. It wasn’t your offer and not your right to know and yet here you were running your mouth about it because your mind couldn’t stop itself.

Running a hand over his mouth, there were finally nerves visible in his own person then just you for once. “I swore a sacred vow to the Night’s Watch.” You clenched your jaw as you turned away only to feel confused by the breath of a genuine chuckle from him. “There’s that look again.”

Turning with a furrowed brow, you more defensively turned your voice up. “What look?”

Jon only chuckled harder. “That right there” His forearm leaned with him to rest on his desk to point to your expression. “The same look you gave me that night, when I tried telling you why I was joining in the first place. You gave me that same look then, like you knew I wasn’t being honest with myself.”

You had no idea where it came from, but something so calm and flat slipped from your mouth with a very small amused shrug of a shoulder. “You and I are quite good at that, aren’t we?” You wanted to laugh with him, but it wasn’t quite as easy. “Lying to ourselves about what we really feel.”

His grey eyes shined at you with a familiar fondness so unique to only him. “Part of me didn’t think I deserved it. I spent so many years pining after everything my siblings got, but finally when it’s right in front of me all I could worry was that it shouldn’t be mine.” Voice and eyes far away in both as he let himself open up. “I found a place here, I found a reason to keep going to keep fighting but did any of that mean I should have the one thing I could only get because the rest of my family is gone? So I said no. That my place is here and getting myself involved with politics of the Seven Kingdoms wasn’t my place anymore.”

Pulling something from a drawer in his desk, you stilled. Recognized the tint right away before he even could open it back up. Sitting it face up between you, both knew the other had read and reread it too many times to count. Only this time, as a shaking panic found it’s way into your eyes a darkening anger swirled in his. The proof that what happened to him, was your fault.

You’d run from this very room if you didn’t think Jon would instantly leap up to shove the door closed before you could walk out of it. There also, was no hiding the watering that finally broke free of the dry sting and the red that followed the pressure. “I...what do you want me to say? If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t have come here and maybe they never would have-”

It was uncommon that anger was directed towards you, but the darkness in his eyes and twisting expression of frustration as he looked at you felt horrid. “That’s what you think this is?” He leaned back before forcing himself to stand. Taking a few steps to the window running a hand over his face once more before turning back to look at you. Less of a furious anger and more like a hurt form.

Your name slipping harshly from his lips, making you turn to look at him wishing you weren’t so weak it was obvious you wanted to cry. “The Bolton’s murdered my brother, took my home from it’s own people. And when I finally find out after a year that they’ve kept you alive as their prisoner did I finally get it. I spent all this time trying to convince these men that the Free Folk deserve a place in the North as much as we do, but it wasn’t until him,” His chin nodding to the letter, “Did I realize that I don’t deserve to be the one leading these people if I don’t even try to protect the people I love.”

Your nerves ragged and your muscles under the cloak shook as you shook your head as your words gritted together. “And coming after me got you killed.”

Clearly a sore spot was pricked at, as he stepped forward, his voice raise along with his temper. “They killed me for doing the right thing.” Your head jilted back a small bit, biting your lip at the tone but never moved to make him stop. “The Night’s Watch isn’t the shield that guard the realms of men if we’re only protecting each other. What’s the point of trying to protect the world from what’s coming if I let everything I love die before it even gets here.”

Walking closer to you, your eyes were turned away from him completely. His voice lowering as he braced his palms across the side of the desk angled towards you. “I died trying to protect you and there wasn’t one second I ever regretted it. I didn’t regret it when I bleeding out on the ground, and I don’t regret it now that you’re the only reason I’m even alive.”

One gloved hand rose up to cup your cheek, turning you to look up at him and starling you by how close he really was. Your lungs chose to not even try to work as you looked at him as he whispered, his breathe warm as it gently reached your skin. “So stop avoiding me. I made my choice. Fight for what’s right, for my people, and for the woman I love.”

Even under the leather, you were sure he felt you shiver as you tried turning your gaze away from him, this time the tears just falling. The one hand still on you, running his thumb over to wipe away what it could reach but he never moved forward beyond it. Just kept you there, until your nerves settled down.

For once, you felt a sliver of calm that gave back any strength in your voice. “So, now what? You’re alive, as am I, so what do we do?”

Not that he said it, but the darker animal inside of Jon certainly had a very different answer to that question then the reasonable answer you were thinking. But after what he learned, part of him was petrified that he had scared you. And as much as he wanted you, as much as whatever this feeling inside his new beating heart screamed at him, he would never take that gamble when you were so fresh from such a disgusting torture.

His voice was low, and sure of himself as he came back around to the right conclusion. “First, I’m getting you to eat something for once and then? We do our duty. We start planning how we get the North back. Together.”

Nodding, you felt the loud noise in your head settle. Part of you sick of how only Jon seemed to quell it, but that was just a fact you were going to have to live with. Jon on his part, gave himself credit for having the will power to not kiss you. Running his hand over the side of your head, hair running through the leather between his fingers just looking at you for a moment when he let it slip out. By accident, his voice a quiet, husky awe like it was only meant to be in his head. “You look so beautiful in my clothes.”

Jon’s chuckle was deep as you flushed, turning away from his touch trying to hide the swirling embarrassment. A warmth in the pit of your stomach that felt so normal to be there with him, but you scoffed anyways. “Alright, you already made your point there’s no need to flatter me into it.”

Laughing more freely he let one more tiny part of him slip, and thankful that you didn’t shy away from him for it. Leaning closely he mumbled, “If I’m not supposed to flatter you, then you shouldn’t look so beautiful in my furs, sleeping in my bed.” You flushed one more time as Jon leaned in like it was such a normal thing to do, slipping his hand gently behind your head to pull you to him. Pressing a kiss to your forehead, your heart leaping in your chest at the tenderness. “Stay here with Ghost, I’ll bring you something.”

If you weren’t so flustered, you’d tell him you could do it yourself but by the time you registered he even said anything he was gone. Leaning forward to drop your head in your hands only to be nudged by Ghost. Drawing you back up, you sighed running a hand along his head. “At least I know now it’s just a Stark thing to enjoy making me nervous.”

Ghost just moved a bit closer, begging for more of your nails to stretch around his ears as he shuffled closer to comfort you. If only with the direwolf, that might have been the first time you said something so calmly about Robb and not felt like you wanted to throw up over the pain. It hurt, but it was a hurt that stemmed from memories that weren’t so agonizing to recall.

Eyes drifting upwards, you hesitantly reached out to grasp the letter. Despising how easily you could hear his voice as you glossed over the words. It seemed more unhinged then what he was when you left, but still the details didn’t add up. It had taken about seven days to reach Castle Black and this letter would’ve arrived on the sixth night. Seven days of battle, but only that very night Theon and yourself made an escape did Roose Bolton bring your father up to Ramsay.

The details of his ravings about you added up in your mind, there was only one place, one person you could reliably run too and blaming Jon as if you were stolen in the night was easier then accepting two beaten prisoners out foxed your men and hounds. But why lie about your father? Why would he have reason to lie and say Stannis was dead if he wasn’t?

You froze as it hit you. So much, so very much had happened between then and that day, many people who were there in person or signed to it were gone or prisoners still to the Freys. But there were absolutely still those who would know about it.

Ghost whined at you in concern as you bent in your seat, head falling into your hands at the factor you had so massively forgotten in this haze of your mind. How could you even bring that up now, how would you ever say it? Especially after what your father already tried to offer, he would just think you were trying to manipulate him.

It was made in genuinity, you and Robb both never doubted that choice and there was never even a second choice that you two considered good enough to put first. Not even Catelyn could find a protest beyond her own misgivings, and yet as it all came onto you like freezing water you realized that you had no idea what to say. Was this even a North anymore that would value your words? Would they see you alive and consider your stance as fair and righteous as they considered their once King’s?

One thing after another it seemed, not even a fortnight had passed since you escaped the Boltons and already the weight piled up one after the other with things that you had no idea what to do about. It was a bit odd however, having this weight and yet the giant direwolf here seemed to not just sense it but found discomfort in your own.

Even sized as this, Ghost was still a bit smaller then Grey Wind. Silent as anything when he wanted to be, preferring to slink into the background to watch with keen attention. Whereas Grey Wind stood tall and proud, confident in his intimidating nature that used it as a protective guard to those he cared about and in private, preferred to relax to fall asleep in gentle peace. But the quiet watchful direwolf in front of you was so much more lively alone.

As if Ghost was still a pup demanding your attention, huffing at you when your hands stilled as they scratched along his fur. Standing so close he could knock you over when outside you had noticed he preferred to stay back and watch it all play out with no distractions. Yet both still seemed to regard you with their own protective nature when most others knew direwolves to only answer to one.

But then there were those days, moments that felt like the wolves were more human then animal and something aggressive in them leaping to the forefront at your defence. Jon had said when he died, it was like part of him lived within Ghost, that he could see and control his animal in such a strange way that left him wild and aggressive until you showed up at the gates.

For a moment, you remembered the flames. Those few seconds before there was nothing, and how there was just enough flickers of life in Robb’s deep blue eyes that you knew he had to watch you first and were you not sitting you may have fell over at the thought.

Grey Wind shot full of arrows before his head was cut off just like- jumping up to your feet as if needing urgently to shake off the bile in your throat at the memory. You told yourself countless times not to think about it, but it was the last sight of him you’d ever get and suddenly the world felt dizzy.

Stepping forward, you had to brace your palms against the desk, head hanging low as the world spun both around you and inside your mind feeling like you were at a dozy sea. Only it was the sea which dragged you out, just as a hand reached your arm you spun around in a gasp as you both flinched away from the other. Theon a few feet back, hands now raised in the air as he looked over you with wide eyes at your breathless tone. “What are you doing in here?”

Lowering them back down, he tilted his head slightly to look you over with concern. “Checking on you. The two dead people disappear all day, started to make everyone a bit nervous out there.”

Steadying your breathing you leaned back against the desk, crossing your arms. “There is a difference between being dead and rumoured to be dead.” He didn’t take the hint to leave it be, and you could only wonder just what the talk really was outside your hearing.

Moving to match your position, he eyed Ghost now sitting quietly with watchful eyes unlike the affection of mere seconds ago. His arms crossed as well, tone bordering on light but in a more distant banter then perhaps years ago. “And I know there is a difference between surviving a knife in the stomach, and surviving being butchered like he did to you.” Your head turned to the side, eyes slipping closed to turn it out but he leaned closer. “You can’t keep avoiding it. Everyone is talking about it, you and Jon both, like they can’t decide if they’re terrified of you two or ready to worship you.”

Neither of those things sounded appealing, your resolve shredded too cowardly to be feared and there was nothing about your new life that deserved any kind of reverence. You were just you, alive somehow and far more broken then any Northerner would recall following you as. “I can avoid it as long as I refuse to speak on it. I’m alive that doesn’t mean anyone thinks I’m special.”

His eyes softened as he watched you, your gaze less harsh as you looked meaninglessly around the room. It took a while for it to be spit out, but once he did it was out there and he knew he had to address it further. “Jon does.” Your tone warning him by name but he climbed over it. “You think I’m stupid? That I can’t see the way he looks at you? Like you hung the moon in the sky just for him?”

Nudging his arm, the tiny gesture letting you two slip to a more normal feeling. “Have you been reading poetry in your spare time at the Wall, or did I only miss the fancy words in between ignoring how vulgar you used to be.” Both of you didn’t really laugh, but a far away smile crossing both of your faces at the memory.

Truly two different people in those sights compared to the ones in the present.

He shrugged as you both looked more to the ground in the quiet. “Guess I’m just noticing things more then I used too. Ruined my life always trying to be the centre of attention, decided maybe it might do be some good to take influence from you two and shutting up once in a while. Gave me time to start noticing the things around me.”

You wanted to dismiss it outright, but turning to glance at Theon you didn’t see the once cocky charmer he once was, but a man just as torn apart by the very people who did you. The one who risked everything to bring you here, to someone who had every reason to hate him for what he had done. It wasn’t so easy just brushing him off anymore, not when even now he stood by you instead of finding a better life anywhere away from here. You bit your tongue as something choked up built, but you never spoke of it.

Not outloud to a soul, and with those striking blue eyes still so painfully in your heart you had even less words to describe what those grey ones did to you now. “One of us should be able too. It feels like I have no idea what anyone is thinking anymore, like I could always read a person and their intentions but now there’s a fog overtop of my eyes and everyone is just a mystery.”

Nodding mostly to himself he hummed, “I can lift it for a few people. If you care to hear.” You shrugged a shoulder, and he continued on taking it as a yes. “For once, I can tell you that boy Olly? He’s about as afraid of you as he does admire you. Told you to your face he shoved a knife into Jon’s heart, watched you cut a man’s head off and hang two others for that crime but you kept him by your side. At this point, I think he’ll do anything to make up for what he did.”

You swallowed heavily. “He’s just a boy. I can’t blame a boy for being manipulated into something he couldn’t possibly understand. Seems keeping around people like that is a new pattern of mine.” Eyes meeting the other, you both knew there was direct influence on that one. You had found a true friend in Theon after once only seeing execution as a choice for his life and perhaps it make you more willing to forgive that of another.

“I also know I ruined my own life by going back to the Iron Islands, that the only time I felt like I was part of something good was fighting by Robb’s side. And that I’m willing to get dragged along with you until you figure out what your next moves are as well.” The only thing you could be sure with, was the honesty and dedication in his eyes that was as foreign to him now as it was for you to see it again. “Besides, I didn’t just swear my sword to the King in the North. Pretty sure there was a Queen in there as well.”

Both of you knew, you didn’t feel like that person anymore. Not even close, but now you knew in a strange panic that you were going to have to do your duty. The last real act as King and Queen you had made with Robb needed to be upheld, if only could it be done by one who was less inclined to so easily fall apart. Theon didn’t need to hear it, but you said it anyways. “I’m sorry for ever sending them to you. Truly, I am.”

Eyes meeting once more, it was a bond that likely none else would understand. Forced into a torture upon the other that no one else could image were they not there to endure it. “So am I.” Progress was made for him, a kind moment of comfort where your hands found the other.

Memories of a hellish nightmare that left your souls both in horrid tatters, and yet enough pieces were scraped together to run from it before it consumed you both without mercy.

If the gods had none else planned for you, at least you could rely that Theon would go with you towards that chaos. What worse could you two find that hadn’t been done to either of you over by those blood curling pale blue eyes.

Too far removed from the present still, the small moment as the door from outside opened followed suit with something that only further proved Theon’s point which escaped your notice. But as the door and cold swung open, and as Jon walked in to the sight? Theon couldn’t help but notice that as Jon’s eyes flickered sharply between how close you two were standing and your attached hands, that he had never seen such a quick flash of possessiveness even on Robb.

But as soon as it was there, it faded when you let go of him to stand up straight, a bit of a wall throwing itself back up. One on one was easier, but more then that seemed to put you right back to an edge that you were terrified of looking weak standing over.

Theon also couldn’t help it as the thought came to him, but that he had almost walked in on you and Robb during the earlier days at war. And that even in Robb’s quick temper at Theon to get out considering your state of undress, it wasn’t anywhere near the dark which came over Jon’s grey eyes as he for hardly a second, noticed you holding hands.

If this was some strange connection between you because of what happened, he didn’t know. Theon just hoped you weren’t adding to this onslaught of self punishment by pushing it away out of a surviving guilt. Robb may have died hating Theon, but he knew he wouldn’t have died never wanting you to find any happiness again.

And gods help him, Theon was starting to suspect Jon desperately wanted you to find it with him.

“What would he get from lying about that?” That was the question you still weren’t sure of. Ser Davos seemed to agree that the time of events didn’t line up if Ramsay had been telling the truth about Stannis. But with no word from him, or where his armies were none of you had anything to go off of but a feeling.

Busy looking through the papers left behind from your father, it left Davos and Theon to work with Jon on how everything fit together. Having attempted to pledge Northern houses to his cause, you and Theon could say with certainty who wasn’t loyal to House Bolton but many had denied Stannis or not given him any response what so ever.

If the remaining Ironborn were driven out of the lands, it would leave only the ones who betrayed and murdered their King as the ones left in charge. Must like the rest of the kingdoms it seemed, no longer were the wars fought across the lands but within them just for the right to live. But the North was vast and large with little organization in place to start at.

“Trying to scare me into surrendering. If he thinks I’m a threat, telling me he and his armies are dead might mean less chance I go after them.” Your eyes were starting to hurt, but there was a vast amount of back and forth to put everything together. Half of Jons desk on the opposite side of him was covered in papers as you leaned over in your chair sorting things quietly as their voices moved around you.

Theon spoke up from the side a sudden thought occurring to him, scouring back into his memories to find it past the fears of the moment. “He tired to do more then scare you. They were trying to find Bran and Rickon, and he sent one of his men here to look for them.” Pausing he looked at the slowly filling anger in Jon’s confused eyes. “He said that even if they weren’t, you might be a threat to them, especially if you found out about...”

You knew eyes drifted over to you, but just narrowing your own at the paper hoping to blur passed the thoughts from distracting you even more. Jon asking, “When was this?”

A pause between them no doubt as he tried to recall, you knew too well keeping track of days or weeks in those times was an impossible task. “Wouldn’t have been long after..” Theon clearing his throat trying to push past the looming narrative there, “after what happened at the Twins... He’s not here though, so I don’t know what..”

Your eyes widened, hands gripping the paper a bit tightly trying to not see it. Not see the way in that last time outside the way the sun shined on the Trident and how the next time you saw any sun you were being dragged through the North almost in a delirious fever. You purposely didn’t look up, you didn’t want to distract them either.

Jon connecting it on his own, “We had a man come here, saying he was from the Riverlands but he died when we went to take care of the mutineers at Craster’s Keep. If he was there for me, someone should have told him not to waste his time. Thorne took care of that one.”

If this all happened while still at the Dreadfort no wonder you didn’t hear a thing about it, locked away in their dungeons ready to die was your state. Not much had changed beyond where you were allowed to walk around since then.

Ser Davos was sat next to you, “Makes sense actually. You know the North better then most, your father was Warden of the North for over twenty years, your brother was their King. Roose Bolton’s a smart man, he knows if you come out of the Night’s Watch you’re a threat. Especially after losing what they thought was going to be their key to their claim.”

This time they all knew you were trying to avoid their gazes. Let them speak you thought to yourself, let them figure this out. So far you were deep into discussions and numbers with the Iron Bank of Bravvos and promises to pay out the debt of the Seven Kingdoms should your father succeed in taking the Iron Throne with their backing. How he planned to do that was just another dark hole of headaches and papers and you suddenly could remember why you got so little sleep in the Westlands.

You think your name was passed around once or twice, but you had all been there quite a while and you wanted to get through most of this before leaving for the night. “Alright, so you two escape taking what they thought was their key to gaining the North’s support with, knowing the only person you could go to is me. Then lie about Stannis being dead to scare me out of retaliating.”

Theon responded this time, “Why wouldn’t you hear anything from him then?”

Both likely turned to Davos this time, who took a good moment to consider the most reasonable action he would take. “If he thinks the King would be going right for the Iron Throne, then the most reasonable way is to take Winterfell on the way to King’s Landing, goes right through there. If he’s trying to misdirect them, it’d be easy. The North is big and the Bolton’s don’t have enough men to search for him.”

“Gain support, or try to, from the other Houses and attack Winterfell when they least expect it.”

You didn’t know how to say it, but it wouldn’t work. Your father wasn’t going to gain their help and the reason why was the two people sitting at the desk. But dumping that on Jon, especially now was unfair. It felt too much like trying to convince him to do something beacuse you said so, even though it was the furthest from the truth. You knew the choke hold the Boltons were keeping the North in hurt him, it couldn’t not. The North was Jon’s home and it pained him to see it so shattered from the bloodshed of his own family.

Deep within your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed the time passing enough that only you remained at the desk rereading the same thing over and over. Thinking for a moment you were alone, you put the remaining of it down with the rest of the piles before leaning down in your seat resting your head back in your palms trying to will away the growing headache behind it.

War had crept up behind you all in King’s Landing over four years ago and not once had it left you. The continuation of fighting for your people on one side, and the other just beyond this very wall with things you barley understood. You hardly dreamt of the cold and the ice since that night but now they felt like they were gone. Hints of something you had no way of grasping in the war down south and yet up here you didn’t understand them any better having disappeared.

Inhaling deeply, you gathered yourself enough to stand. Deciding there was no point in lingering in his quarters beyond what he kept you there for initially. But behind you was where his voice rasped out from, your name soft on his lips. Turning to him, whatever calm you felt with him earlier struggled to return once all alone.

Everything about him tried to entice you whereas all the rest insisted you had no right to any of it, not what had already been there and none more. Turned partially to look back at him you clearly were ready to walk out the door at any second. “Was there something else you needed?”

Jon hated how formal with him you were trying to be, hated that he didn’t know if it was him or you that was causing this rift, and most of all that it hurt everytime you built that barrier. A barrier that for the entire time you’d known each other never used to exist. But if it was him, then he knew it was his responsibility alone to mend it. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Your brows narrowed as you turned to him more, confusion all over your face but quiet for him to explain himself. “For what I did. Coming back was...overwhelming, and seeing you again just...” A frown forming deeper as he stepped forward, shaking his head to collect the words catching your eyes once again. “I of all people should know better then to have assumed that was something you wanted, and it probably didn’t help I wasn’t exactly gentle about it either.”

Your heart started to race, trying to grasp what he thought was going through your mind but the implications were making you uncomfortable. “Why would you think I-”

His voice a little louder this time, but you simply refused to even look him in the eye and he hated trying to guess why and only finding an answer in his actions. “Because I know what it’s like.” You found them this time though, and yet Jon instantly could feel what he did back then. That the thing you’d hate was that he was lying to himself thinking it was alright and he couldn’t stand there and not atone for doing the same thing. “You can tell yourself it’s fine, you can lie all alone and say you liked it so what does it matter but don’t lie to me.”

You tried protesting but it seemed he couldn’t stand you trying to shut down the conversation before it even could pick up. “I’m not lying-”

His voice on edge and frustrated as he called your name almost in a tone of a stern lecture, “You can’t even look at me, barley wanted to be around me since that night and after everything Ramsay did to you,” Your eyes flickered back up to his, “and after what she -”

You fully spun to look at him as soon as he cut himself off. Something flashing in his own eyes that you had felt in yourself. “Jon,”

Shaking his head he stepped forward gently pushing back whatever he found almost slipping from his tongue. “Theon told me what Ramsay did to you. I needed to know, I saw the marks on you and I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Thinking that you didn’t want to be around me because I forced you into it-”

Finding your own voice this time with it’s own breathless anger in tone. “Jon you didn’t force me into anything. I liked it.”

“Just because you liked it doesn’t mean you wanted it.”

Your eyes finding something in pain behind his grey ones, the deep breaking in his low tone that was holding back for his own sake now. Your mind only remembering flashes of pretty red and yet before you was something that didn’t match what you thought you had seen that day.

In that thick silence you looked at him, a face that at times so far could be sharp and rough now was a softness none here likely had ever seen. But still, even now, he showed it to you. The girl in you wanted to go to him, but the darkness inside your head told you to leave him alone. Your words being all that was left of the fighting between them. “I promise you, I wanted it. All of it. And maybe if I wasn’t so sure I was just ruining your life being here, I’d let you do it again.”

Just as you turned, just as the cold of the outside slipped in from the turning of the door handle, Jon’s own hand reached over your shoulder. Closing it gently as you felt his warmth radiate over your back, but he was far enough that you couldn’t feel anything else. His voice clearly at least a foot away from you. Whatever he actually wanted to say, he changed his mind at the last second. “You should stay here. It’s not good for you, being all alone in that room, and at least here I can make sure you actually get some sleep at night.”

The tender concern, your mind almost dividing as you could too hear Robb telling you to calm your temper, that it wasn’t good for you. The deep care in both of these men that came so naturally as they were around you, and yet this from the one man you thought it would be gone from for good.

Your voice was a whisper, too afraid to speak any louder or even match his quiet fear of being so loud everyone outside could hear. “So it is only the Lord Commander whose allowed to break his vows about women in his bed.”

Neither of you smiled or smirked, but the lightness in his tone felt more comforting then the pain in his eyes that threatened to break you. “My vows also said my watch does not end until my death, which has already happened.”

This time you did smile a bit, a tiny half one that unseen by you, genuinely let a real one come over Jon’s face. “I don’t think that’s how they are supposed to work, Snow.”

Stepping forward you could see the egdes of his curls dance across he side of your vision, his voice a tad lower but the smile then you could finally hear in this voice. “I also wasn’t supposed to bring the free folk South of the wall, or leave the castle to try and protect the woman I love, but I did both of those things and the only life it cost was my own.” Neither words you had ever found the bravery to say before, not in the growing affection of teenage hood and then the nervousness of adulthood kept them away more. “The only vows that matter anymore are the ones that swore me to protect the realms of men, and that includes protecting you. Even if it means me keeping you safe from yourself.”

Neither said anything else, but you nodded. Jon’s hand removing itself from the door before letting you walk out into the cold. Jon knew lying to himself was pointless and no one here would buy them anymore. The North was his home, it was part of him, and it was his duty to fight for it.

The Night’s Watch couldn’t protect the people from what was coming if they stopped caring about their well being before the darkness came. This couldn’t be about vows and rules anymore, that’s what got everyone he ever loved killed. He broke those vows and Thorne had his men murder him for it, but now he was the dead one and Jon was still here.

Thorne died and stayed dead for the rules the old gods were telling Jon he was right for breaking.

You weren’t sure you had ever been in a room this uncomfortable before. On the best of the years with him, you on many instances had no clue what things to say to your father, and you spent more years with him then your mother. Yet now, you both sat in her quarters nothing but a fire crackling on the opposite wall of her to distract. She didn’t look well, but you supposed in her eyes neither did you.

The small cuts on your face were finally beginning to fade away, but you both knew of the one sitting under your shirt that was utterly fatal. The books by her bedside spoke of titles you never heard before and you need not think of the sort of darkness preached. One that led to such horrors when you couldn’t think of anything less comforting then the fires to your agonized heart.

“You don’t think it’s going to work.”

Looking up from where your fingertips were tapping at the table between you, her eyes were narrowed but something like hope. Selyse and Stannis Baratheon were the most unloving couple you ever had imagined and yet they were your parents. Robert Baratheon was married for over twenty years to Cersei and they despised one another. But Cersei had once admitted there was something akin to a faint love in her heart during their early years towards him. You knew your parents never even had that.

Loyalty to each other is not the same as love.

You could remember telling Robb you were afraid you were dragging him into a life with a miserable woman to love as your parents were. The small hope in her eyes as you told her that you suspected he was using the rumour of death to hide his movements through the north was nothing.

Nothing compared to the way you and Robb would look when in the ends of blood and battle you’d find each others eyes and remember why the fight was worth for the other. Nothing compared to the screaming, dizzying cries in your heart as you saw Jon’s beautiful grey eyes staring back at yours that night in the ice cell.

They were not Robert and Cersei, but their affection stopped at loyalty. She stood by Stannis no matter what he chose, and he never let others disrespect her as they did himself. The thing that bonded them together truly, was their daughters. First was you, young and curious prospering in the strangeness of the island you lived on and a Kingly uncle who would visit, that in those days still held much genuine love of life inside his eyes. Then your father sent you to Winterfell for the first time after the second instance your mother lost a son in the womb.

It felt like punishment on the ship. Your second baby brother was too gone and they sent you away to a strange, cold place where you knew none but the household guard which accompanied you. You aren’t quite sure if your relationship with your mother ever really improved past that point.

“I fought beside those men, mother. In battle, I fought on the front lines with them and watched how even in their own losses, they truly believed in us....in him. They won’t have a king that isn’t one of their own.” The way they all worshipped Robb, and how he never understood it but he accepted their loyalty with such a weight and responsibility.

Her face fell a small bit, leaning more over the table to sip at her drink. Every silence felt like it lasted for hours, to the point even Olly by the door could likely feel it. You barley touched yours, ever since those long nights in the dungeons of the Dreadfort, horribly ill and throwing up so much of what went down that eventually you had only stinging bile to coat your throat, food and drink felt like a feat to down.

There was a sharpness for a moment in her eyes that you interrupted before it got any further to her mouth, “If father really is the only one true king, then they would have pledged their loyalty already wouldn’t they have?”

Your mother sighing, glancing to the fire before turning back to you. “I didn’t ask you here for an argument.”

You nodded, leaning back in the chair as you glanced to Olly. Ever since that day he has seemed to stick by your side, whenever Theon didn’t. Two men who had done terrible thing’s now seem to atone by serving you, and you had no idea what they saw in you to care so much. Certainly not your social skills judging by how difficult you and Selyse found it to even look at the other.

“I know. But I fought a war by Robb’s side for three years, a war we knew would eventually be against my own father. Even if he is passed, I will not sit here and act as if only now do I swear loyalty. If I were going to do that, I would’ve come home to Dragonstone they day I escaped King’s Landing.” Your eyes blazing into hers now actively avoiding you. “But you and father married me to the North, and they accepted me as their own, they accepted me as Robb’s Queen and I died for that cause.”

Her head whipped back to you finally. A sorrow in her eyes slowly painting over. “Could I...would you show me?” You nodded pulling the edges of your shirt up, eyes glancing back to Olly who looked at the jagged scar with the same shock in his eyes that were towards seeing Jon alive, but much more contained.

Your mother couldn’t look away. It was getting harder and harder to deny it, and it was what everyone thought regardless if you pretended it was anything but your end. Letting the fabric of your shirt drop back down, you swallowed heavily. Broken and losing what will was left as his blue eyes looked from how soaked in red his hand was to your face gasping for air that would not come through the blood that flowed up into your mouth. “I suppose the women in this family simply aren’t destined to have boys are they.”

No doubt she could see the pain on you as well as her voice was low. “That is not the same. I lost them from my own body, my health, my failings. Yours was taken from you by another. There is no reason to think you would’ve-”

Where it came from you weren’t sure but it slipped out. Maybe because if anyone understood what that loss felt like, it truly was your mother. “I dreamt about him once. A small baby boy, he had my eyes but..” Your eyes for once found the flames but saw nothing but your own memories behind them. “He had this dark curly hair, face just like a Stark..I didn’t even know I was with child at the time.”

Both of you sat in silence, a pain that was too hard to put back in it’s darkness had unleashed and no doubt both in the room saw the reflection of the crackling fire in tears down your cheeks. You didn’t bother to hide them either. Neither of you finding it in you to speak a word on the matter, the pain too fresh for you and comfort not a commonality between such a family.

Speaking your name quietly, you didn’t bother turning to look at her. Your hand risen up, nails lightly digging into your mouth trying not to see the blood once more. “You’re sure he was dead, it wasn’t any kind of a mistake?” A strange seek for doubt in your mothers tone but one that you were hearing from many on the matter.

Olly to the side dropped his head as you smiled half a smirk with no feeling beyond the simple motion as if a huff of disbelief of the question. As if down there once more, you could feel the way they pressed against your bare hands. Not healed, not quite open, but just open wounds that existed on his body much like your own and how horrible and pale he looked when you first were brought to him.

Voice a slight whisper, “There is no mistake, mother. He was dead, as dead as any man can be.”

Sensing her eyes on you, begging in your mind for her not to say it but she did regardless. “The Lord brought you back to bring him back.” You tried warning her to stop, but she pressed on. “Whatever your destiny is, it’s tied with him and you need to accept that perhaps you are meant for something greater then-”

“Then what.” Looking at her, the remains of once tears trying to dry up. “Greater then what, mother? I had a life, a husband and a son to be, coming home to the North with Robb was my destiny. I was never supposed to have one with..” Your voice so quiet but the room was as well, and she certainly heard you. “We never thought..”

Her eyes watched you carefully but you shook the thought off. For the first time in all your life, you had no idea what to feel or think about Jon Snow and you hated it. You hated that he still knew you without any doubt, but you felt like you were just intruding on a strangers life pretending you could ever still mean something to him.

Selyse had never met Robb Stark, she had no way of knowing what your life with him was like but she had seen you at Jon Snow’s side. And she could say without doubt that she has never seen a man look that way at a woman before, as if their entire world has been consumed with this other person. And yourself? She looked at you now and knew as difficult as it was, how hard you tried to not look at him said just as much as his inability to look away.

Standing up abruptly, you tried hiding any tears with the back of your hand. “You should rest, it’s getting rather late.” As you approached the door, you turned back to look at your mother before turning to the boy. “Olly, I ask if you could see to Selyse for the next coming days. We are about to get rather busy, and I think she would appreciate the company.”

He didn’t disagree, and you could only wonder what about you made him stick to your orders in atonement so deeply. Your mother’s voice speaking up, only catching as you turned only partway to look at her. “Goodnight.”

Nodding back, yours was as stiff. “Goodnight, mother.”

Walking out into the cold, you only got a few feet before finding yourself leaning against the railing you stood on, hands braced as you looked out to the night. Something you didn’t understand was beyond those walls, something that once had you dream of cold and ice, but little understanding beyond those visions.

But there was something in the eyes of those here, something that truly haunted them. As you made your way back, for only a moment did you pause before your eyes slipped closed as you sighed and the path turned only slightly towards a different room.

It was dark, but you found no care to light any fire as you made your way through the quarters with a slower hesitancy. Being in here felt so strange, not right and you were too on edge to consider looking around like any other would normally. But as you draped the fur cloak over a dresser, you ran your fingers gently through the light colour.

In the night just like this, sat in front of the Weirwood in your final moments only together as you found a comfort hiding your face between this very fur and his neck for what you both felt was surely the last time. And as you carefully peeled off your boots, you slept only under the thinnest of the top sheets as you saw and felt too much in the quiet.

Sleeping alone used to be normal, but then it was by Robb’s side for years no matter where you travelled too. Then in the worst of it, your nights too often interrupted by the violence of pale blue eyes and a slimy taunting voice that sought to make you afraid of sleeping at night.

As you lightly drifted off, part of you wished Theon never brought you here. You felt as if you were just ruining his life, and he deserved better. He always deserved better, better then what Catelyn treated him as, better then to be shut away at the Night’s Watch and better then being trapped with you.

Yet later in the night, your mind woke just enough to sense as a figure came into the room, keeping the dark as much as possible like they didn’t need to see to navigate. The part of your mind that was still mostly asleep clenching your hands as if to brace yourself.

If he thought you were asleep, he would often drag you from bed and wake you up with a jostle usually to the head against the hard ground. Make you foggy and a little less coordinated as he begun, but it never came. And in an instant your mind which was slowly finding itself more awake settled itself as the figure was warm. Sliding into the sheets behind you, slowly before leaning over you.

The brush of his curls against the side of your cheek and neck, no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself wasn’t for you to enjoy anymore, relaxed at the feeling. Feeling Jon carefully drape back your hair, collecting it so gently in his hands to neatly move it out of your face and tucked neatly to the side.

A large, calloused hand ran lightly over your arm before finally relaxing. His other arm stretching out to the other side of the bed by your own head as you felt his chest bare against the thin material of your shirt. Slowly, you let him pull you closer into his arms before you shifted yourself to fit better in his touch as well. His free hand draped over your hip with a gentle touch before it slid up to just under your breasts. Pulling you back firmly into him as his own forehead nuzzled against the back of your hair.

For the first real time in either of your lives, you freely found yourself sleeping in Jon Snow’s bed, tucked safely in his arms and were you not so close to the depths of dreams once more?

You may have otherwise cried at how overwhelming it was that you and him fit together so perfectly.

#jon snow x reader #robb stark x reader #jon snow #robb stark #game of thrones #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #jon snow x you #robb stark x you #jon snow imagine #robb stark imagine

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aloneinthehellfire · 8 days

Text

Chapter Seven: We Are The Pariahs

The Pariahs That Saved The World

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: vecna's curse, mentions of death, mentions of homophobia, bad father-daughter relationship (story of my life)

[A/N: omg she made it out of her writers block era!!!! I am so so sorry for the long wait on this chapter, I had planned to write it ages ago but felt myself losing part of my creativity (it's a very long story about the trials and tribulations of an arts uni student) but I am trying to make it up to you all by bringing you the most packed chapter yet! And totally not because I was rushing to get to write my favourite part of the series, okay bye]

We Are The Pariahs

You never thought you’d see this room again.

Soft pink walls, almost entirely covered in movie posters and band memorabilia, a fluffy carpet that felt like home beneath your feet. But it wasn’t the room that made your heart beat faster. It was the girl sat on the bed, mascara tears coating her cheeks.

“Heather?” Your voice was small, scared to spook her.

“Y/n? Is that you?”

Her broken voice almost made you run to her, swoop her in your arms, tell her everything was fine.

No, she isn’t real. Y/n… none of this is real.

You were supposed to be stood in the Upside Down, searching for a way out. You had been calling out for Dustin, you saw… you saw something. What did you see?

“Why weren’t you there?”

Heather’s eyes turn dark, her voice dropping to an abnormal pitch. A jolt of fear from your chest settles into a pit of despair in your stomach.

Vecna. You had seen Vecna.

“You… you could have saved me…” Heather’s cheeks were wet with tears, her mascara slithering down her face likes vines. “You weren’t there.”

No mater how hard you tried, no words escaped the lump in your throat. After all, was anything you could say going to stop Vecna?

“I will always hate you for what you did.”

A sob breaks free from your lips, and a smirk etches onto her face, a face slowly peeling away until all that was left was a red and raw face of horror.

“You never let yourself trust your own gut,” Vecna stands from Heather’s bed, creeping closer as you press yourself further into the wall, “Y/n… always the follower…”

“What do you want?” You manage to whisper, turning your face away as his claws begin to rise above you.

“I am giving you one last chance to finally save someone,” He spits, milky white eyes examining yours, “I want you to warn them all, show them…”

His rotten breath fans against your face and you cry, feeling your head tilt back under his control. He leans impossibly closer, seething venomous words into your ear.

“Tell Eleven… or your soul will be next.”

A silent scream leaves you paralysed, eyes wide as something hot pierces your mind.

Flashing images, displays of terror and destruction. You saw your friends, your family, all burning. Hawkins was crumbling, a giant monster with a gaping mouth breaching through the gates. Chaos flew in wisps of ash and fire until there was nothing but total and complete darkness.

“Tell them…”

“Where is it?!”

Robin could hear Steve and Nancy upstairs rummaging through her bedroom drawers for a hope of a Walkman or even that stupid music box, anything. The longer they took, the paler Robin felt. She was stood in front of you, yelling into your ears, trying to shake you awake from your deathly still posture.

“It’s not gonna work!” Eddie stresses behind her for the millionth time, a higher level of panic detected in his voice with each announcement. “Chrissy didn’t- oh my god, she’s gonna end up like Chrissy. My best friend is gonna-”

“Eddie!” Robin snaps at him, his eyes widening in shock. “We are all fucking terrified right now but I need you to get a grip! STEVE! WHERE’S THE MUSIC?!”

“WE’RE WORKING ON IT!” He yells back, matching her own panicked tone, and Robin could almost throw up.

She knew exactly what was going to happen the moment she saw your face drop, the strike of fear on your features as you stared into your reflection. She already anticipated your shoulders to drop and your eyes to roll back. She just didn’t make it to you in time.

“Please, please, please.” Robin begs you, her throat tightening with every flutter of your eyelids.

A choked gasp shouldn’t have been the sweetest sound Robin thinks she’ll ever hear, but once it escaped your lips, relief washes over her like the tide.

You stumble forward and she only just manages to catch you, Eddie already lunging across the room to help. They both lower you to the floor, allow you to sit as you try and catch your breath.

“You’re okay. You’re okay, we got you.” Eddie kept saying, your wild eyes darting around the room like you were afraid of the shadows, clinging onto his arm.

And Robin just sat there, staring at you, trapped in her own fear of the torment she shouldn’t have been feeling. It felt even worse knowing she had anticipated it all.

“What happened?” She finally asks when your breathing is steadier, watching as a pained expression is woven into your features before disappearing in a flash, shaking your head.

“He… he was warning me. Us. Told us to stop.” You nod feverishly, enough to spark curiosity.

But before Robin could question any further, two sets of footsteps come barrelling down the staircase.

“We got it! We got it- it’s right here!” Steve stumbles over his own words, panting for breath as he holds a Walkman in his hand, presenting it to the ceiling like a trophy. Robin blinks.

“You’re only like 5 minutes late.” She rolls her eyes and Steve looks exasperated, a sigh of relief exhaling from his lungs when he notices you sat there.

“Oh, thank god.” He runs a hand through his hair, laughing nervously. “We couldn’t find any music.”

“You couldn’t-” Robin frowns, shaking her head at him. “Then what the hell were we meant to do with that thing?”

“Improvise?” Steve offers and Nancy clears her throat.

“Sorry.” She surrenders, looking at you. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You nod, attempting a smile but it didn’t settle right on your lips. “Just… just another threat.”

And with yet another lie, they all seemed satisfied enough to continue their mission; contact Dustin. To which they were successful, using light as communication that you usually would find yourself fascinated with. But the entire time you sat there as the others smiled, you couldn’t block out his voice.

“Tell Eleven… or your soul will be next.”

“You and Wayne really aren’t keeping up on the housecleaning.” You comment, and Robin lets out a snort behind you.

Eddie’s trailer was much like the rest of the eerily familiar homes in the Upside Down; dark and filthy. Vines were pretty much scattered across the furniture, almost swallowing the trailer itself whole. But that wasn’t the concerning part.

If you had to pick just one thing to be scared of, it would be the gaping hole in the ceiling.

“This is where Chrissy died.” Eddie says, gulping as you all stared at the thrumming crimson light. “Like, right where she died.”

And just like that, you were now even more terrified.

“Could this day get worse?” You mutter, and you wish you had kept your mouth shut.

“I think there’s something in there.” Robin announces and you all squint upwards, taken aback by a shadow moving against the membrane.

A few slow seconds ticked by, and you wondered if it was just a trick of the light.

Something suddenly pierces through, pieces of the small gate splattering to the ground and you all leap backwards, heart hammering in your ears.

Steve moves first, cautiously peering up before a smile starts to stretch his cheeks. Curious, everyone else follows suit, and you’ve never felt so relieved in your life.

“Hi there.” Dustin laughs in glee as Max, Lucas, and Erica, all wave up to you.

The first face you see as you grin is Robin’s, meeting her hopeful eyes and happy smile with those of your own. In the moment, you reach out your hand as squeeze hers without thinking. You didn’t even notice her grip your hand tighter. You also didn’t remember letting go. Because you never did.

“Holy shit, this is trippy.” Robin laughs, and you can only nod in agreement, looking through the gate as if you truly were Upside Down.

“Bada-bada-boom!” Dustin yells, and you all instinctively laugh.

In a hushed mutter of agreements, the kids start to build the exit plan, dispersing across the trailer. Robin gently tugs on your hand and you look at her inquisitively, her head motioning for you both to step to the side.

“What’s up?” You whisper, unsure of why she wanted to talk in private. If anything, you could only hope why she wanted to talk privately, but that was wishful thinking considering you both barely knew eachother and it probably wouldn’t work because who knows if she’s-

“Did you… did you see something?” She asks and you frown. “Earlier. When Vecna… is there something you’re not telling us?”

“No.” Your response was too quick and her face drops into a serious tone, her hand slipping away from yours and you’ve never thought your hand could feel heavier without the weight. “Robin-”

“You can’t keep secrets, Y/n.” She says and you shut your mouth. “There’s already been so much-”

She takes a breath, eyeing the others as they all appear to be fixated on the events above them.

“You went to the Creel House and never told us about it.” She reminds you, a soft frown marking two small lines between her brows. “You heard Vecna, and you didn’t think that would be important to know. And now you’re having these visions and you’re not telling us the whole story with that, either. Why?”

“It’s…” You begin, but your shoulders slump with exhaustion. She was right. Why are you trying everything to hide it? “He showed me something. Something horrible. About our future, Hawkins. He threatened me, but I- I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t think terrifying everyone else was going to get us anywhere.”

“What did you see?”

“Monsters. Gates.” You gulp, the next word barely audible. “Death.”

“Shit.” Robin blinks, tightening her lips. “Yeah, that’s… that’s pretty terrifying.”

“We need to focus on Max.” You say, glancing over your shoulder to where they were testing out a rope. “We can’t… we can’t help her, or anyone else for that matter, if we’re too focused on the bad ending. And from what I saw…”

“What?” Robin frowns when you don’t speak.

“I don’t think it’s something we can fight.” You admit just as Steve yells out for you both.

“Come on, operation get the hell out of here is commencing. Move it.”

Steve guides Robin by her shoulder, making her frown in confusion. He points to the rope.

“What do you want me to do with that?”

“Climb it.” Steve says, like it was obvious.

“Seriously?” She cranes her neck to look up at it, an encouraging thumbs up from Dustin on the other side. She looks around to see no-one else is volunteering. “Guess I’m the guinea pig.”

She manages to catch your eye before reaching for the rope, unspoken words floating between you both as she focuses on her climb, ignoring the burn on her palms as she mustered up enough strength to reach the top.

The strangest feeling washes over her as her head passes through the gate, blood rushing to her face. She was upside down now, holding onto the rope.

And then she was falling, landing on a mattress with a soft thump, staring up at the ceiling of familiar faces.

“That was fun.” She announces as she accepts Dustin’s hand, pulling herself to her feet.

“Who’s next?” Nancy asks, and after that, everyone started to make their way to the other side.

Eddie landed first, grinning at everyone with a casual “That was fun.”

You passed through the gate next, smiling at Robin as she offers her hand and ignoring the unsettling feeling in your stomach as you stared back up at the gate, waiting.

Nancy readies herself on the rope, obviously affected by Steve’s nature to always be the last.

She didn’t climb.

“Nancy?” You’re the first to speak, stepping on top of the mattress to get a better look.

And then Steve was trying to shake her awake while the others searched in panic for music she would listen to. But you didn’t move.

You refused Vecna’s threat, and all of a sudden Nancy was now cursed? It didn’t feel like a coincidence.

It felt like your fault.

Nancy had snapped awake after a painfully chaotic chorus of panic, her wide eyes of horror speaking more to you than it would anyone else. You were relieved to know she wasn’t cursed, just another messenger for the dark wizard. You were in fear of knowing Vecna didn’t tolerate insubordination.

The things she had told everyone made Robin feel too sober, her back resting against a cabinet on the floor while they had all sat in silence, Nancy’s voice thick with tears.

Vecna wanted revenge, and that meant Hawkins was on his kill-list.

Robin couldn’t help glancing your way when Nancy started describing the details of your own vision, but your eyes were fixated on the carpet. She hadn’t known you for long, but she didn’t think you were ever this quiet.

“Four chimes.” Max suddenly says, cutting through the tense air. “Vecna’s clock. It always chimes four times. Four exactly.”

“I heard them too.” Nancy agrees shakily.

“He’s been telling us his plan this whole time.” Max realises, and Robin feels very sick.

“Four kills.” Lucas understands. “Four gates... End of the world.”

“If that’s true…” Dustin speaks, looking at Max, “He’s only one kill away.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ.” Eddie mutters, rubbing his face, “Jesus Christ.”

“Try ‘em again.” Steve orders to no one in particular, pointing to the phone, “Try them again.”

Max nods and grabs the receiver to dial the number they had been trying for the past few minutes. You had hoped the Byers would be able to help, that El would come back and help you win this. But no one ever answered.

“What do we do now?”

Your voice was a surprise to everyone having been the only person unable to share your own input to Nancy’s visions. Your throat felt hoarse, and there was a pounding headache forming behind your eyes. It was all starting to feel hopeless.

“We’re going back to the Upside Down and we’re killing Vecna.” Nancy announces and Robin’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“Hold on, wait, let’s think this through.” Steve objects, standing from the couch.

“What is there to think through?” She countered, crossing her arms.

“We barely made it out of there in one piece!” Steve stresses and you watch as they argue, unsure of who’s side to take.

“Because we weren’t prepared!” Nancy replies. “But this time, we will be. We’ll get weapons and protection. We’ll go through the gate, we’ll find his lair, and we’ll kill him.”

“Or he’ll kill us.” Steve says and across the room, Robin raises her eyebrows at you. “The only reason you survived is because he wanted you to. He’s not scared of us.”

“And for good reason.” Robin interrupts, standing up and clearing her throat, “We were wrong about Vecna. Henry. One. Sorry, what are we calling him now?”

“One.”

“Vecna.”

“Henry.”

“Right.” Robin breathes out, continuing. “We’ve learned something new about Vecna/Henry/One. He’s a number like Eleven, only a sick, evil, male, child-murdering version of her with really bad skin.”

“Ew.” Erica turns up her nose.

“But, my-my… my point is, he’s super powerful. He could turn us inside out with a snap of his fingers. It’s not a fair fight.”

“Then why fight fair?” Dustin intercepts and you turn around to look at him. “You’re right. He’s like Eleven. But that gives us an upper hand. We know Eleven’s strengths. And weaknesses.”

“What weaknesses?” You question with little effort, and Robin can’t help but feel a little upset at how hopeless you sound.

“When El remote-travels, she goes into this sort of trance-like state. I bet the same is true of Vecna.” Dustin explains.

“That would explain what he was doing in that attic.” Lucas comments.

“Exactly.” Dustin nods. “When he attacks his next victim, I’ll bet you he’s back in that attic, physical body defenceless.”

“Defenceless?” Steve raises his brows, gesturing to his bruised neck. “What about the army of bats?”

“True. We’ll have to find a way past them.” Dustin accepts, “Distract them somehow.”

“And, uh,” Eddie leans forward, “How do we do that exactly?”

“No idea. But once they’re gone, he doesn’t stand a chance.” He smiles, “It’ll be like slaying sleeping Dracula in his coffin.”

“That all sound good in theory, but there is no pattern to Vecna’s killings. I mean, at least not one that I can decipher.” Robin says, “We don’t know when he’s going to attack next. We don’t even know who he’s going to attack.”

“Yeah, we do.” Max speaks up and your stomach drops. “I can still feel him. I’m still marked. Cursed. I ditch Kate Bush, I draw his focus back to me.”

“What?” Your head whips up, frowning.

“Max. You can’t. He’ll kill you.” Lucas whispers out and she shrugs.

“I survived before.” She reminds him and Lucas frowns. “I can survive again.”

“How?” Robin observes the way you stare up at Max with a look of remorse. You really cared about these kids, about her. It’s why you were here in the first place. You could have flown back to Stanford, but you chose to stay.

Which is why the thought of Max sacrificing herself after all of this felt so absurd.

“I just need to keep him busy long enough so that you guys can get into that attic.” She says, slowly nodding. “Then you can chop his head off. Stab him in the heart. Or blow him up with some explosive Dustin cooks up, I honestly- I don’t care how you put this asshole in his grave, just… whatever it is… whatever you do… try not to miss.”

It sounded like her closing statement, an invisible signed document of her stubbornness. Nothing you could say would change her mind, and you knew she was right. This was the only way.

“Now all we need is a shit ton of weapons.” You sigh, spreading your hands in exasperation.

“Where the hell are we gonna get that?” Steve frowns, exchanging a look with Robin. “Doubt Officer Friendly is gonna let us raid the station.”

“No need.” Eddie suddenly stands, stretching his arms. “I know exactly where we can find them.”

Everyone frowns, some in confusion, some in concern. You roll your eyes.

“Don’t say War Zo-” You start, but Eddie doesn’t let you finish.

“War Zone!”

War Zone was pretty much how you assumed a store named that would look. It was a giant warehouse filled with aisles and aisles of anything you could possibly get your hands on. Guns, ammo, grenades, knives. All you could ever need for battle.

It was just a shame the only two excited for this trip had to be hidden from the public. You thought it was ironic that you were trying to avoid suspicion just after stealing a whole Winnebago.

“Hey!” Dustin protests as Steve sits him back down at the table, shaking his head.

“Sorry, man. It’s too risky.” He explains, but the curly-haired boy just pouts.

“Hellfire stays inside.” Nancy announces and despite Eddie’s look of disappointment, he didn’t kick up a fuss. He could look at guns another day, when there was no longer a price on his head.

“Okay, time for some… shopping.” Robin shrugs as Max jumps out of the RV behind you, slamming the door shut. “Are we, uh, looking for anything in particular?”

“Anything that looks like it’s gonna hurt.” You say, surprising the others. None of them object.

Swarms of mostly bulky men were walking down the aisles when you all entered, seemingly curious yet unbothered by your little group. You all definitely looked out of place.

“Uh… we should also probably look out for clothes.” You suggest, gesturing to Steve’s stark outfit. Your own was covered in black slime and dirt, much like Nancy and Robin’s.

“Good idea.” Steve says as he makes a beeline for the clothing department.

“I’m gonna head over to the guns. I’ve got an idea of what I want.” Nancy nods and Max takes Erica with her to the smaller section of knives and bug repellent.

“What do we think?” Robin asks with a lighter tone, posing with a beret on her head.

“You know what, it actually suits you.” You laugh and she flashes you a smile, throwing it into the shopping cart.

She begins to peruse the jewellery section next, making you chuckle in amusement as you spot Steve trying on a jacket further down.

It had been a while since either of you talked. After your vision in the Upside Down, you could tell he was walking on eggshells around you, much unlike your usual banter. Now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time you had an honest conversation with you.

“So, weird question, but, um… how are we meant to be paying for this?” You question as you walk over to him, a surprised look on his face as he glances over at Robin. She seemed to be preoccupied by the studded belt in her hands.

“I’ve still got my whole compensation fund from Starcourt we could-”

He stops once he says it. Starcourt. He saw how your face drops without permission, giving him a small glimpse of the sadness that wore away inside you.

“I, uh… we could use my savings money.” You offer, trying anything to pretend like your momentary lapse of weakness didn’t happen. “I mean, it was meant for books and stuff back at Stanford but I feel like this is a much more important use for it considering the whole end of the world scenario we’ve found ourselves in.”

You attempt a laugh, but it came out with too little volume, and all too much air. You try to redirect your attention to the vest in front of you. It looked like tough leather, hopefully thick enough to add some protection to your frame.

“Sorry I’ve been such an asshole.”

The battle vest almost slipped from your hands as you turn to catch Steve’s eye. His expression was serious, an apologetic look pointed at you.

“Huh?” You frown, unsure when this sudden turn of conversation started.

“I haven’t really been grateful. To have you here with us, I mean. You literally dropped your life just to help us, and I’ve been nothing but an asshole to you. High school was years ago.”

“If it helps, I have also been an asshole, so…” You laugh and you manage to spark a smile on his face. “And of course I’m here. You are, too. I’m not the only one risking everything.”

You didn’t expect a genuine smile from Steve Harrington to ever be sent your way, but you found yourself smiling back. In so few words, it was like a war had been resolved between you. A long time coming, at that.

You watch as his gaze drifts to behind you, his brows furrowing.

“Uh… I’ll be right back.”

You turn to see him jog over to Robin, placing a hand on her back. From this distance, you could just see her standing there with a fallen expression, staring at something further down the aisle. You take two steps back, curiously searching for the source of her uncharacteristic torment, but you can’t see past the couple laughing together.

The guy was quite tall, someone you think you recognise from school. Dan, was it? He was smiling down at a girl not much younger than you, wearing a grin and ginger hair.

It took a second for the realisation to hit, and by then Steve and Robin had wondered back over to you, quickly explaining you all needed to leave before you were suddenly rushing back to the Winnebago, left to sit for a little while longer with your thoughts.

Why was Robin so upset about a random couple in the middle of War Zone?

Robin hadn’t expected to see Vickie anywhere, let alone a stupid illegal gun shop on the outskirts of Hawkins. It definitely caught her off-guard, and since she watched what little hope she maybe had left of dating suddenly kiss a man, it also felt right. After all, she was a pariah. That was all she was going to be.

“I don’t care.” She interrupts Steve’s attempt to rationalise the prior events, rambling about the impossibility of Vickie not liking women too.“And I don’t understand why you do either with everything that’s going on. Honestly, this feels like a perfect time for that little pull of the rug because… in the face of the world ending, the stakes of my love life feel spectacularly low.”

A sigh leaves her lips just in time for her to catch a glance of you across the field. You were sat cross-legged on the grass, laughing as Eddie and Dustin play-fought with their new and improved battle shields. As she sat just outside the Winnebago, holding a funnel for the molotov cocktails they had ordered, she feels a smile tugging at her lips when she sees your grin, and then she shakes it away as fast as she can. Not fast enough for it to go unnoticed.

“Aren’t you always telling me about all the fish in the sea?” He smirks, waggling his eyebrows and she grimaces. She knows he’s only joking, trying to tease her a little bit. But he doesn’t realise it wasn’t a game to her.

“Ew, no, don’t be gross.”

“I just think you’d be perfect together-”

“Okay.” She quickly stands up, almost spilling the bottles. “I think we’re running out of alcohol. I’m gonna go find some more.”

“Why are you being weird?” He frowns as she starts walking away. “But- we have enough bottles here!”

You heard Steve’s shout across the field as Dustin starts making a joke about bats, turning your head to see Robin was quickly walking away from him and disappearing inside the Winnebago. You were twisting grass between your fingers, staring longingly at the trailer home door. You wanted to talk to her. You needed to.

Your legs moved before your brain could comprehend it, marching you across that field with determination. There was no more putting it off. You couldn’t spend your last moments before what could be the end of the world sat on the grass wondering what would have happened if you’d just had the courage to open up.

Robin managed to compose herself for a bit, running her hands down her face and catching a glimpse of herself on a small mirror. Her mascara had rubbed off a little around her eyes, her hair now dirty and wild from the whirlwind of their adventures. With a sigh, she grabs another box of bottles. She so badly wanted a shower. Or at least to just curl up in her bed and pretend like the world was going to be just fine if she fell asleep.

She knew any minute now Steve would come looking for her, demanding answers. He was right. She was acting weird. But how else were you meant to act when you were slowly coming to the realisation that you’d be alone forever? How could she pretend to be normal when she had to sit and watch everyone else fall in love when she couldn’t, or reconnect with their high school sweethearts while she mourned the feeling of never experiencing teenage love?

She wasn’t normal. Nothing in her life felt more real than that.

“Hey.” You suddenly announce yourself and Robin drops the box she was holding, cursing under her breath as she scrambles to collect it before she lost all composure. You wince. “Sorry.”

“No, you- it just-” Robin presses her lips together, sighing. “I didn’t expect to see anyone in here.”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” You grimace even harder, motioning to the door. “This was weird, I can go-”

“No!” She drops the box again, on the small table this time. “Uh… I mean, no. You don’t need to…”

There’s a moment of silence you really wished was comfortable, but even you couldn’t pretend it was anything other than awkward.

“Are you doing okay?” Robin blurts, unable to resist talking if it meant she didn’t have to stand there with her own thoughts for much longer. “With the whole, you know, being a Vecna prophet?”

“A prophet, huh?” You smirk, raising your eyebrow. “No, I’m, uh… I’m okay? I think. Just… god.”

You flop yourself down on the cushioned seats of the Winnebago, biting your lip.

“I should have done what he asked.” You admit, meeting her eyes as she slowly lowers herself to sit beside you. “Nancy is probably, I don’t know, traumatised now because I keep thinking making everything a secret is gonna solve everything. Like it ever has.”

“You were doing what you thought would protect us. That’s not a bad thing.” She shrugs, staring down at her hands. “You shouldn’t even have to be dealing with all of this in the first place.”

“No one would have guessed an evil mind wizard who lives in an alternate dimension would somehow use me to spread his villainous plans.” You chuckle, trying to find the humour in what had to be the scariest experience of your entire life.

“No.” She breathes an airy laugh, biting her lip. “But I made you come here.”

“What?” You looked taken-aback, blinking at her. “No, Robin… I’m here because I want to be.”

“But you hate Hawkins.” She says, twisting in the seat to face you so she could express herself with her hands more. “And I- I don’t blame you. You lost your father… you left for all good reasons. I shouldn’t have shown up at your door demanding help, it… I didn’t realise how badly it would affect you, or-”

“Robin.” You place a hand over hers and she stills, words cut from her mouth by a single touch. “I want to be here. What happened a year ago doesn’t define my actions now. It never did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t leave because my dad died.” Your voice had gotten quieter, and Robin watched as your eyes started to glisten. “I… I left because Heather did.”

Robin frowns. Heather? Nancy mentioned a Heather back in the library after your first encounter, stating the two of you had known eachother since sophmore year. It had only been a passing comment. Robin only remembered the Heather with a plaque at the school, a soul lost to ‘the fire’. Flayed, Robin realises.

“Heather… Heather Holloway?” Robin asks and you nod, wiping away a tear that had slipped down your cheek. “Nancy told me you guys were friends.”

“Right. Friends.” You say almost bitterly, avoiding her eyes. Robin sends a quick glance to the door, making sure it was shut. She had a feeling this conversation wasn’t one you were going to be comfortable sharing with anyone else.

“Was Heather… was she more… more than a friend?” Robin’s mouth felt dry as she struggled with her words, hoping you didn’t return them with a laugh or disgust. And you didn’t. You only nodded, wrapping your arms around yourself.

“Back in the hospital, Starcourt… I had gone with Nancy and Jonathan to try and figure out what the hell was happening to Hawkins. Nancy told us it was related to Driscoll, that we had to hurry. I remember she wouldn’t tell me why she was so scared. But Jonathan let slip that they had been at Heather’s house…”

You take a deep breath, trying to relax your now tensing shoulders. “I kept asking them where Heather was, if they had seen her, if she was okay. I… I knew something was wrong. I hadn’t heard from her for a whole day, I even begged for their help when she went missing but they told me I was paranoid. But I was right in the end.”

“You were too late.” Robin whispers in realisation, and your glossy eyes find hers, nodding.

“Heather’s dad was at the hospital. So was mine.” You recall, twisting the corner of the cushion. “They were flayed, attacked us when we least expected it. My dad was telling me how Heather died, what they did. Right before he drove a knife into my shoulder.”

You gently push down the shoulder of your jumper to reveal a red scar, and Robin’s breath hitches.

“I don’t really remember much after that. Jonathan managed to get him off me. I think Nancy dragged me somewhere safe before a nurse found me.” You sigh, rolling your shoulder. “When I had woken up, my gran was the one to tell me about Starcourt, how my dad had died in the fire. And that Heather and her family had apparently burned in there too.”

“I’m so sorry.” Robin squeezes your hand, wiping away her own tears. She had wondered why Nancy and Steve seemed so hesitant about your story. Only now did she know it was because they couldn’t feel anything but guilt about how they treated you.

“Heather was my best friend, and more.” You smile before it broke, biting your lip, “I hated the thought of staying here. I was just so… angry. At the others. At myself. I had to leave.”

“I would have done the same.” Robin admits quietly. “To be honest… I don’t think I would have come back.”

“I wasn’t planning to.” You shrug, “But I needed to be here for my gran.”

“Does she…”

“Yeah. She knows about Heather and me.” You say, nodding. “I came out to my dad when I realised I liked Heather. He… he wasn’t happy about it. We fought a lot after that until my gran decided to take me in. She’s pretty great.”

“She sounds it.” Robin smiles.

“Being a girl into girls in a town like this…” You laugh, glancing out the window. “When I turned Steve down in sophmore year, I just remember the relentless torment from everyone around me. I didn’t even know I liked girls then, but I knew I was never going to say anything because if I refused a date with a guy and they all hated me for it, what would happen if I ended up dating a girl?”

“It was all so natural with Heather. She didn’t make me feel like a freak, or make me some kind of pariah. Because she understood me. And about a year after we became friends, after the whole Steve incident, we started dating.” You lean back into the seat, pouring your heart and soul to a girl you hoped you had met years ago. “Our dads worked together at the Post, and we had to keep it a secret. That’s why… that’s why everyone out there thought we were just friends. Because that’s what I told them.”

“No one out there would have judged you like that. Especially not Steve.” Robin insists and your face twists with uncertainty.

“How do you know?”

“Because he’s my best friend.”

You knew that. You saw it anytime they bickered or teased one another. You saw it when Steve went rushing over to her the second he sensed her posture drop in War Zone, whispering reassuring words to her on the field after.

Part of you had assumed when you first saw them together that there was no way they couldn’t be dating. So many factors could be against why they weren’t. There was only one you were nervously hoping for.

“That girl… the one at War Zone. You looked really upset…” You bite your lip, heart beating harder. “Is that because…”

“I know exactly how you feel.” She meets your eyes and you almost melt, suppressing a smile.

“Is that why you started acting weird when you found out Eddie was my ex?” You ask and she frowns, obviously curious about that. “I dated him because I thought he was cool, and nice. We broke up because I realised I was gay.”

“Oh.” She laughs, feeling incredibly stupid. “God, I was so sure- I literally hate myself right now.”

“So… does that mean… if you liked that girl…” You struggle to find the words, scrambling your mind with endless possibilities to just ask the question.

“I like you.” Robin finally says in a whisper and you smile.

“I like you, too.”

Her eyes flicker to your lips for just a moment, until she catches something, a red trail starting to stain your upper lip.

It all came crashing down after that.

“Y/n?!”

Steve must have heard her screaming because when he comes rushing in, your eyes are already rolled back, Robin’s hands holding onto your shoulders.

You weren’t a prophet after all.

You were a warning.

taglist:

@kryztalglear @learninglinesintherainn @officerrrfriendly @a-simpfortessa-lesbriean @spacedoutdaydreamer

@endurexxsurvive @em16cor @gray-cheese @chaosofmanyfandoms @kitdjarin1

@some-day--some-how @cultish-corner @marirxse

i try to keep up to date with taglists but if i have missed anyone or if you would like to be added please comment below or let me know via asks! [if i have highlighted your username in pink, it means tumblr isn't allowing me to tag you so please check visibility settings/ update me if you've changed usernames while i try my best to sort this out!]

#stranger things x reader #stranger things #fanfic #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley #robin x reader #robin buckley fanfic #st4 fanfic #wlw #sapphic fic

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queen-of-deans-booty · 5 months

Text

Deadly Proposal: Part Two

Pairing: Vampire!Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Warnings: none, minor angst, vampire bites and drinking blood

Summary: Dean takes you to his mansion where you will be living. There are only two rules to being his. Will you comply or leave? Will he let you? More importantly, will he be able to keep his past separate from his future?

PART ONE

Square Filled: satin for @spnonewordbingo (deleted bingo)

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

Being in the presence of a vampire is something you never thought you be. All you’ve heard is horror stories of them kidnapping humans and feeding off them like blood slaves. Dean is different. He took one taste of your blood and decided you were worth saving. He hasn’t tried to hurt you, hasn’t tried to feed on you, and tries to keep you comfortable on the ride to his place.

Vampires can reside anywhere throughout the United States, but they tend to stay in the colder parts. Dean has plenty of places scattered across the States but his main property is in Rhode Island. They have cold winters but cool summers which Dean appreciates. The drive is kind of tense since this is a new situation for you, but you try to calm yourself down.

Dean’s property is acres upon acres that houses a huge mansion, a massive pool/seating area, and probably much more. There are high bushes and trees blocking the view of the house from all sides, and there is a security gate at the entrance. Dean is very serious about his privacy which you can understand why. You would be too if you were a centuries-old vampire.

Why you? Why is your blood special? Why doesn’t he just kill you like any other vampire would? When Dean offered you his deal, you thought you were making a smart decision. Your sister has become a very serious problem that you hate dealing with because it’s the same shit all the time. However, since arriving at Dean’s mansion, you’re not so sure you made the right decision.

“Wow, this is beautiful and looks expensive.”

“When you’ve lived as long as I have, you learn to save and put your money in the right stocks. It took a while, but I make money every hour without having to lift a finger.”

“Must be nice,” you scoff.

Dean parks in his multi-car garage and you both get out. He escorts you inside and to the room you’re going to be staying in. This room is massive with a huge chandelier hanging in the middle of the room. The California King bed sits on a platform with a couch to the right of it. A vanity is on the right of it and next to that is a huge walk-in closet fit with carousels, a platform, headless mannequins, and a couch. Past the closet is a massive bathroom with a walk-in shower and a big tub for luxurious baths. You’re not prepared to live in a place like this when all you’ve ever known were one-story houses where you had to share a bathroom with three other people.

“There is a live-in chef and maid on site at all times who can help you with whatever you need.”

“Wow, this is kind of overwhelming if I’m being honest.”

That’s the same thing Annabeth said when he first brought her here centuries ago.

“This is overwhelming if I’m being honest,” Annabeth says and touches the satin sheets on the bed.

“I know.”

“I’m not used to such luxury.” She comes from a very poor family who makes enough money to scrape by. “I’ve never known this life.”

“Would you like to stay somewhere else? I have many houses to choose from.”

“I’m sure they’re all the same. You’ve been alive for thousands of years. You must be the wealthiest man in the world.”

“I guess,” Dean shrugs.

“Where are you staying?”

“Down the hall.”

“You don’t want to sleep next to me?”

Dean closes the distance between them and cups her jaw gently.

“Sweetheart, I’m afraid that if I do, I won’t be able to hold myself back from you.”

“What if I don’t want you to?” she asks and steps closer to him.

“Annabeth,” Dean whispers and closes his eyes.

“Kiss me.”

Dean can’t resist and kisses her hungrily.

“I make minimum wage at a bar with tips that are trash and you’re sitting on millions if not billions of dollars in a house too big for even ten people. Can I be a vampire?” you joke.

“No.”

“Where is your room?”

“Down the hall.”

“Don’t you ever get lonely living here by yourself?”

“I have the chef and maid.”

“Right, because I’m sure they’re your BFFs.”

Dean sighs and puts more distance between you two.

“Look, there are only two rules I keep here. Bedtime is at nine every night. You don’t have to go to sleep but you do need to be in your bedroom at that time. Second, never go in the basement.”

“Why? What’s in there?”

“Nothing of importance to you.”

“Why nine?”

“Because I said so.” You roll your eyes and Dean would love nothing more than to give you a reason to roll your eyes. “I have somewhere I need to be but make yourself at home. I have a gym, plenty of game rooms, movie theater… explore.”

Dean leaves your new room and you’re left alone with your thoughts. You walk to the window that overlooks the front of the house and see Dean pull out of the garage in one of his many cars. You could break his number two rule but you have a feeling that he’d be able to smell you down there. It wouldn’t do you any good to piss him off the first day you’re here.

You stow away your curiosity for now and leave your room in search of his. A bedroom can tell a lot about a person, and Dean’s is just as mysterious as him. His room is bare with minimal-looking furniture. His room is dark because of his black walls and grey aesthetic. His curtains are open to let in natural light but it’s not as bright as it should be.

You walk into his closet which is equally as dark with black suits, shirts, and pants with the occasional white and grey shirt. You brush your fingers over the fabrics in thought. You leave his closet and scan the room for any kind of personal effects he might have. There are no pictures of him, his family, or people he’s loved over the years. He shows up on film and he has a reflection, so where are his pictures?

If you were thousands of years old, you’d have a big house full of pictures from over the years. You’d be a living historical document. He’s the complete opposite unless all of his pictures are in the basement. Maybe his whole life is and he doesn’t want someone snooping through it. Maybe that’s why you were attracted to him from the beginning. You should have run for the hills once you found out what he was but you stayed.

You have a thing for the mysterious guys.

Your sister, Amber, is only an hour away from you but she needs to learn a lesson about what can happen if she continues down this path. You’ll give her a week and maybe she might want to change her life for the better. Your phone rings and you jump at the sudden noise. You haven’t talked to your parents since you left them for Amber, so you reluctantly answer your mother’s call.

“Hey, mom.”

“Where are you? Have you arrived in Boston?”

“I’m in Rhode Island right now. I got held up.”

You don’t tell your parents you encountered Dean or the fact that he’s a vampire. If they heard this, they would surely drive down just to stake him themselves.

It didn’t matter where in the United States a person lived, everyone had heard of the vampire rumors. Any time they are brought up in conversation, your parents would shut that shit down immediately. They’d always say they’re not real but then come back and say they’re too dangerous. They’d tell anyone with fang scars on their necks that they’re fake and they’re doing this for attention.

It’s the precise reason why you’re not telling them about Dean.

“Y/N…”

“Don’t worry. I’m staying with a friend right now.”

“A friend? What friend? You don’t have any friends.”

“Thanks, Mom,” you roll your eyes. “He’s an online friend I met. Everything is okay.”

“Listen, you should come home. Amber chose this life. She knew what she was getting into when she chose drugs and alcohol. You know all she’s going to cause you is trouble.”

“Amber is a lot of things, but she’s still my sister. She’s still your daughter. She’s not a bad person.”

“Yes, she is,” your dad’s voice comes from the other line. He might be in the room but he’s not close enough to the phone to hear clearly. “If you even think about bailing her out, then you might be just as bad as she is.”

This pisses you off.

“I’ll be home soon. Bye.”

You hang up the phone without waiting for their response. Amber isn’t the best person but she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. She needs help and her own parents gave up on her. Not you. You’re not going to do this to her. What if you were in her in her shoes? Would you want her to come after you?

Dean was right about one thing, this place is massive with many things to do. If he’s been alive for centuries, it makes sense that he would have such a big house with lots of entertainment. A movie theater, three game rooms, a gym, a bowling alley, a pool room, a spa, a huge library, a volleyball and tennis court, and much more. This place would make anyone want to stay here forever. If you had all the money in the world, you’d do something like this.

After exploring what you can, you end up in the kitchen with a delicious-looking meal in front of you. The chef is cleaning up the dishes when Dean enters. You’re pushing your food around on the plate with your fork since you’re not really hungry. Sure Dean has given you everything you could ever hope for, you don’t want to live in this house alone.

“Where have you been?” you ask.

“Out.”

“Are you going to tell me anything about you?” you sigh.

“No.” Dean grabs a beer from the fridge before turning to you. “Why aren’t you eating?”

“Not hungry.”

Dean chuckles and sits next to you at the massive table.

“This isn’t how this arrangement is going to go. You keep yourself healthy and I drink your blood. If you don’t eat, you won’t be healthy. Then, I’m going to force you to eat, and trust me, you don’t want that.”

The giddiness from agreeing to this fancy lifestyle has worn out. The excitement had dwindled to nothing. You’re not sure you want to do this anymore.

“Maybe I want out.”

“Not going to happen,” Dean shakes his head. “Eat or I’ll feed you myself.” You take a single bite of food in hopes that will please him but he doesn’t get up. “Finish the rest.”

You do but you’re not sure if it’s because you’re scared of him or if you’re actually hungry. Dean sits there and waits until you’ve eaten everything. The chef takes away your dishes to clean when Dean grabs the bottom of your chair to pull you closer to him.

“My turn.”

He grabs your face and tilts it to the left to reveal the side of your neck, and his fangs slide out smoothly. He leans in and sinks his fangs into the side of your neck. You gasp thinking it’s going to hurt but you only feel a small pinch. Whatever pain you think you’re going to have isn’t powerful because the feeling you get from him sucking your blood is much more pleasurable.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as euphoria flows through your entire body. Dean moans when he gets a taste of your blood but fights off the urge to drain you dry. He needs to pace himself or you won’t last long. The time between you and Annabeth is centuries, and if he is going to make you last eighty to a hundred years, then he can’t take too much. He only takes two pints but that’s enough to make you woozy.

He leans back in his chair when he’s taken enough and lets the power in your blood consume him from the inside. He’s been chasing this high since Annabeth and he’s elated to have found it again. When he comes down from his high, he gets up and grabs some paper towels to clean your wound.

He scoops you up bridal style to take you to bed. He thinks back to Annabeth and how different things were back then. He’s going to do a lot of things differently so the same thing won’t happen as it did back then. He’s not going to let you manipulate him like she did. He’s not going to fall for you like he did with her.

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

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honest-moth-of-silver-grove · 1 year

Note

Hi. I don’t know if requests are still open or not, but I was wondering if you could do some headcannons of Hector, Isaac, Alucard and Trevor helping their S/O through a panic attack??

If you feel uncomfortable writing this or if requests are closed please feel free to ignore this request. I hope you are well and staying safe 💞

Ask: Hi. I don’t know if requests are still open or not, but I was wondering if you could do some headcanons of Hector, Isaac, Alucard, and Trevor helping their S/O through a panic attack??

If you feel uncomfortable writing this or if requests are closed please feel free to ignore this request. I hope you are well and staying safe 💞

A/N: Requests are still closed as of right now, but this one made it in before that- I’m just a super slow tortoise when it comes to getting things done. (I think I’ve had like a year of writer’s block. That or it was just a major depressive episode… Who’s to say?) Anyways, onwards and upwards! Here is how I think Hector, Isaac, Alucard, and Trevor would help their S/O through a panic attack. I hope they're good, normally when I'm panicking I just let myself freak tf out lol

☮ ☮ ☮

Hector:

Hector knows exactly what a panic attack is. Okay, well maybe he doesn’t know all the psychology behind it, but he’s had plenty himself, so he understands how overwhelming they can feel.

He may not pick up on the fact that you’re having one right away if he’s preoccupied with making night creatures at the moment. But he’s also one to worry about you- he’s lost almost everyone he’s loved in some way or another, so he makes a point of checking in between every couple of creations.

He’ll see your labored breathing, the fear in your eyes, or the way you bend your body in half and know immediately that something is wrong. He’s learned from observing your behavior: which words and movements mean you’re happy and which ones mean you need help.

He’ll physically come over to you, and place a reassuring hand on your shoulder. If you’re in his workshop, or somewhere else that isn’t exactly an ideal calm spot, he’ll usher you- carry you even- if he has to, to a safer place where the two of you can sit quietly.

If you’re okay with being touched, he’ll hold you close to him, placing one of his hands on the small of your back. Using the other, he’ll grasp one of your hands and bring it to his chest so you can focus on the rhythm of his heartbeat.

He takes deep calming breaths and urges you to match yours to his.

Once you're past the worst of it, he’ll leave you alone momentarily to go and make the two of you tea. The two of you can sip your tea and enjoy the company of your many adorable undead pets together. It may be unnerving to some, but to you, when you’re all together, it helps make the world look less intimidating.

Isaac:

Isaac doesn't panic often, or, well, ever to be quite honest. He used to be terrified as a kid, but now that he’s a man in charge of his own destiny, that’s all behind him. That doesn’t mean he’s unaware of your feelings or anything. As a matter of fact, he prefers the focus to be on your feelings so he doesn’t have to share his.

The first thing he has you do is drink some ice-cold water, to help your brain shift its focus from your overwhelming feelings to the shocking and quite refreshing feeling of the cool liquid going down your throat.

The second thing he does is rub soothing circles into the pulse points on both your wrists. He learned from an acupuncturist in one of his many travels, that these points, called the Great Abyss and the Spirit Gate respectively, are good pressure points to use in alleviating feelings of anxiety.

Thirdly, he makes sure those in and around the palace respect your privacy. He ushers any passersby away and uses his night creatures to reroute people to ensure no one other than him sees you in this state. He doesn’t want you to feel negatively judged for having feelings, because he lived his life like that for so long and he knows how awful it is.

Once you’ve reached the peak of your panic attack and begin to come down, he’ll ask if you want to talk about what triggered you in the first place. After all, he is the King of Styria now. If it’s something he can change in the palace, or in the way people work, you can bet he’s going to fix it for your benefit.

If it isn’t something he or you can change, but rather something you have no other choice but to live with, he mentally makes peace with it and urges you to do the same. Yes, feelings of panic are scary and they mess up your entire day, but if this is a part of who you are, he doesn’t want you to feel in any way angry at yourself or at fault. People carry all different burdens, this one just happens to be yours. And Isaac is more than happy, to let you know, you don’t carry this one alone.

Alucard:

Alucard is pretty stoic most of the time, at least, he tries to be. He’s not used to vocalizing or expressing how he feels. Hell, he doesn’t even really know how to process all that he feels, much less share it. So it’s safe to say, being a knowledgeable and comforting presence is foreign to him.

Greta and Sypha do end up teaching him a little bit, but you’re gonna have to be very honest and open with him going forward if you want him to anticipate your needs beyond eating and sleeping every once in a while.

You’d most likely come to him and tell him. Either with an “Alucard, I need you,” or even a whispered, “Help.” And he’d come running, like superspeed running, over to you.

Are you hurt? Are you bleeding? He’s checking for blood. No blood! Okay, any bruises? No bruises! He’s going through the physical list when he notices the way you’re trembling, the way you keep grasping at your chest, and the way you keep shaking your head ‘no’. He soon realizes it's not that kind of injury.

He takes you to your room and sets you gently on the bed. He asks you directly: what can he do, and what do you need? Whatever it is he’ll get it, or he’ll ask for someone else to get it, so he can stay there in the meantime and hold you.

He lets you play with his hair, something he rarely does, to keep your mind occupied on something else. He’ll even shift into his wolf form if you’d prefer a big fluffy doggie to cuddle with.

Stemming off of what he’s learned from Sypha and Greta, he reminds you how much he loves you, and how much you mean to him. He thinks you’re a wonderful person- brave and strong. Panic attacks don’t change that. And he’s not upset or even shocked- life is scary, and your guys’ life has been very scary.

Basically Alucard just wants you to know that even though he isn’t an expert at emotions, he’ll stay by your side, throughout it all.

Trevor:

Trevor actually used to have panic attacks a lot as a kid, but back then he had his family to help him through it. After they were taken from him, he shut down emotionally- something he needed to do to survive. So now, his emotional IQ isn’t the greatest. That doesn’t mean he’s not observant though.

Being a trained monster hunter, he’s good at reading people. He can spot fear or aggression from a distance, and he’d definitely be able to sense panic in you.

He would want to make sure the two of you are in a place and position for you to freak out freely, preferably away from prying strangers’ eyes. It’s not that he’s embarrassed, he just wants the two of you to feel safe enough to calm down, and it’s hard to do that with a bunch of judgemental eyes on you.

Trevor’s priority is safety: so once the two of you are clear of people (or night creatures), he turns his attention to you. He instructs you to take deep breaths: in through your nose and out through your mouth- he remembers reading something about that in one of his family’s books a long time ago.

If you’re not too hot, or in the middle of an anxiety-driven hot flash, he’ll offer you his coat/cloak to grip on or to cocoon yourself in. If you choose the former, he’ll place a reassuring hand on your shoulder, and practice his breathing with you. If you prefer the latter, he’ll pick your wrapped-up form and cradle you in his lap. And he’ll tell you stories from a happier time in his life- something he doesn’t share with anyone other than you- to distract your mind. It’s his way of being vulnerable with you.

Trevor knows he comes off as stony, bitter, and just completely over-it in general, but he never wants you to think he feels that way about you. He loves you, and he prides himself on his ability to protect you and keep you safe. You’re his family now. He’s going to stick through it all with you- thick and thin.

He might even softly sing some of the old Romanian lullabies his mother used to sing to him. But that’s only if you’re really, really panicked. Once you start teasing him about how he’s really just a big softie, he knows you’re going to be just fine.

#castlevania isaac x reader #isaac x reader #hector x reader #alucard x reader #trevor belmont x reader #isaac imagine #hector imagine #alucard imagine #trevor x reader #trevor belmont imagine #alucard tepes #isaac laforeze #castlevania hector #castlevania #hc

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xxbimbobunnyxx · 1 year

Text

Prompt for @oneforthemunny summer game!! I saw that the one you wrote was also Dom!Eddie x brat! Reader with this same prompt but I’ve been working on it for hours so I hope it’s okay that it’s the same prompt, I promise the story itself is different!!

☀️- eddie comes home to see you sunbathing...topless ;) can be dom!sub! if you'd like, or sweet smutty goodness. whatever you'd like it to be! have fun with it!

Contains:18+ minors DNI, dom/sub dynamics, nipple play/slapping, light choking, unprotected sex (lmk if I missed any!)

Steve’s parents were gone for the entire summer so he gave the whole gang free range use of his pool so no one had to deal with the chaos that is Hawkins community pool. He gave everyone the code to the back gate so they could get in when he wasn’t home and he gave the actual adults the garage code in case they needed anything inside.

Since it was your day off and everyone else was working you decided you’d go over to Steve’s house and have some much needed alone time by the pool. You left Eddie a note on the kitchen counter telling him where you would be and headed over to Steve’s.

You were laid out on one of the pool chairs with an ice cold vodka lemonade, in nothing but your bikini bottoms. The weather was perfect, not too hot, not too cool with a nice summer breeze so you decided to ditch your top and let the sun hit your bare chest.

You had your headphones on, walkman playing one of your favorite albums while you closed your eyes and soaked up the sun so you didn’t hear the footsteps approaching or the sound of the glass sliding back door.

Suddenly the sun went behind the clouds and you huffed, pushing your sunglasses up and opening your eyes. But instead of being met with the sight of the sky it’s your boyfriend standing over you, looking extremely annoyed. “Oh! Holy shit Eddie, you fucking scared me!” You said ripping your headphones off He huffed, clearly annoyed “Yeah imagine if it wasn’t me, huh? You’re out here with your TITS OUT, headphones so loud I could hear them from by the door and apparently with your eyes closed?? Literally anyone could’ve walked up and seen you like this.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes “okay? Well you aren’t anybody, are you? You’re the one who found me so it looks like it worked out. Now if you’ll excuse me, you’re blocking my sun. Why are you here so early anyways? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“Wow. Happy to see you too, baby. I got off early, we weren’t busy so my boss said I could go enjoy the nice weather. Which I WANTED to spend with my best girl but apparently the feeling isn’t mutual”

“Oh my god, you know it’s not like that. I was just surprised to see you is all, and I kinda thought I’d have a few hours to myself before anyone else showed up.”

You sat up, your tits bouncing as you did, Eddie couldn’t resist gawking for a moment. You really did look gorgeous laid out in the sun, your tits on display skin glistening from the sunscreen you had applied to your body. But after a second he was snapped from his trance, jealousy and possessiveness creeping up on him. Any one of his friends could have showed up instead of him and seen you how only HE was supposed to see you. “Okay well what if someone else showed up? One of the kids? The boys would’ve been embarrassed for life. Or even worse STEVE, you’re mine and you know it. So why are you flaunting what is mine?”

At this point you were annoyed with him, Steve left right when you got there to give the boys a ride to the arcade on his way to work so you were positive that wasn’t going to happen. “Eddie, you’re being ridiculous. Even if that did happen it wouldn’t be the end of the world, they're just boobs! Plus I knew for a fact it wasn’t going to happen so why are we even still talking about it? Just let it go already, you’re ruining my good mood.” You knew you were going to rile him up with your attitude, and you’d be lying if you said it hadn’t crossed your mind the minute you took your top off. You knew if he found out you here topless in Harrington’s backyard that he would lose his shit so maybe you wanted to poke the bear a little if you got the chance.

He was starting to lose patience with you and you could tell, he let out a deep breath through his nose before he grabbed your jaw with his large hand and squeezed your cheeks “that’s not the fucking point and you know it. You didn’t expect me to be here and I am so how would you know for sure no one else was going to show up? You didn’t and you did it anyway.” Your stomach flipped at the tone of his voice and you had to clench your thighs together to relieve the pressure building in your core. You tried to hold in the whimper but the slightest sound escaped and you knew he heard it when a cocky smirk spread across his lips “look at you, this is what you fucking wanted isn’t it? Huh? You hoped I’d find you like this?”

When you didn’t answer his hand gripping your face moved to your neck and squeezed once as a warning “I asked you a question baby doll. “

“N-no, I just wanted to feel the sun on my skin. It felt so nice I wasn’t trying to do anything.” You looked up at him with big round eyes but he saw right through you, he knew all your little games.

“Here’s what’s going to happen, you’re going to go inside and go in the guest room and wait for me. I’m going to smoke a cigarette and take as long as I need before I come meet you up there. You know how I want you, go.” He gave your neck one last squeeze and gave you a hard smack on your ass when you walked by him causing you to yelp. You went to the guest room and took off your swimsuit bottoms leaving you completely bare as you kneeled at the edge of the bed with your hands in your lap while you waited for Eddie.

It wasn’t long before you started getting squirmy, you really hadn’t meant to rile him up like this but you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t turning you the fuck on so you decided to play into it. After what felt like hours you finally heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He walked through the door looking so sexy, you didn’t really get to appreciate what he was wearing before but holy fuck. He was wearing that Iron Maiden shirt you loved that he cut the sleeves off of exposing almost his entire rib cage, showing off his tattoos that were usually hidden. The shirt stopped just above his belt and his ripped jeans were sagging slightly so when he raised his arms over his head it exposed that delicious sliver of midriff to you.

Subconsciously you squeezed your hands between your thighs and wiggled a little in your spot. “I thought you were capable of being a good girl when I first walked in here but I see you squeezing those hands between your thighs and I didn’t give you permission to relieve yourself did I?” You whimpered at the sound of his voice but didn’t say anything, just continued squeezing your thighs and looking at him with glassy eyes already feeling yourself slip into that hazy headspace and he hadn’t even touched you yet.

He walked over to you, ripping your hands from in between your thighs and holding them above your head with one of his. Using his other hand to smack your inner thighs until you opened them. “I” smack. “Asked” smack. “You.” Smack. “A fucking” smack smack. “Question.” Smack.

“F-fuck, no, no you didn’t say I could relieve myself I’m sorry.” He cupped your pussy running the palm of his hand up and down with ease because of how slick you already were. “God, this pussy is so fucking wet for me.” He let your hands go and put them at your sides, still rubbing his hand up and down. His palm hitting your clit deliciously with every stroke. You only get lost in the feeling for a few seconds before you feel a big ringed hand land a harsh smack on your tit.

“Oh shit!” You let out a yelp and jolted backwards.

He stopped stroking your pussy to pull you back to the end of the bed by your thighs “did I say you could fucking move? You’re going to sit right here while I remind you who these fucking tits belong to.” He grabbed your hands in his and put them at your sides “Don’t. Move.” His hand came down on your tit again, his rings enhancing the pain in the best way. “Open your mouth” you obliged, and he shoved his fingers in your mouth “suck” you did as you were told, wetting them with your spit. He pulled them from your mouth and dragged them down to your chest, his now slick fingers lightly tracing around your nipple. You let out a moan at the feeling and before you could process his fingers grabbed your nipple and squeezed hard.

“O-oh fuck! Shit.” He shoved the fingers from his other hand into your mouth, gagging you slightly before repeating the actions on the other side. He grabbed both of your nipples at once and twisted them. “You like this don’t you? Is this what you wanted? If you wanted me to play with your tits baby all you had to do was ask” he let go of your nipples and both his hands came smacking down on either one of your boobs, once, twice, three times before he grabbed hold of your nipples again.

It went on like this for a while, him squeezing and smacking your tits. Adding his teeth, biting at your supple flesh and leaving love bites all over your chest. “Whose tits are these, baby?” He was licking all over your chest while he squeezed your tender nipples in both hands.

“Yours! They’re yours! Only yours I p-promise!” You didn’t know how much more of this you could take, your tits were so sensitive and your pussy was dripping begging to be touched. “Please fuck me, I’ll be so good if you please just fuck me.” There were tears starting to form in your eyes, and your words were starting to sound slurred. Eddie was so fucking hard thinking about how he could get you to this fucked out state without even truly touching you that he couldn’t even bring himself to protest.

“Alright baby, lay down, I’ll give you what you want.” You laid back on the bed with your legs hanging off the edge and Eddie came up between your legs, hooking them around his hips before he lined himself up with your dripping cunt. Ready and waiting for his cock, always the perfect fit. He didn’t give you time to adjust, just slamming into you in one thrust and fucking you hard and fast. “You’re so hot like this princess, all fucked out just for ME, my pussy, my tits. Mine mine mine.” He leaned over you and kissed you hard, bringing one of his hands down to rub little circles on your clit. That mixed with the feeling of your tender chest rubbing against his still clothed one had the coil in your stomach tightening.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum on your cock” your eyes rolled in the back of your head and you brought your hands to his hair tugging on it like it was the last thing grounding you to the earth. “Yeah baby, cum for me. I’m going to fill this little pussy up with my cum and make you walk around with it in those little bikini bottoms of yours” that did it for you, your orgasm came crashing down on you and as soon as Eddie felt your walls tighten around him he was right behind you, filling you up just like he said.

He collapsed on top of you for a second before pushing himself on his arms and kissing your nose “You were such a good girl for me baby, do you want to go back down by the pool? Take a nap here? We can go home if you want? Anything you want it’s yours.” His demeanor changed to sweet and doting like it always did after he was rough with you.

“Mmm… I think I'll just take a little nap here if that’s okay? Then maybe afterwards we can go hang by the pool?” You yawned, nuzzling your face into his chest. “Okay sweets, that sounds good.” He slipped out of you causing you to wince, grabbing your bottoms from the ground and pulling them up your legs “we can at least TRY to not get anymore cum on Harrington’s guest bed” he chuckled before scooting you up to the head of the bed and tucking you in the blankets.

Normally you would be more worried about the fact that you were dripping a mixture of you and your boyfriends cum onto your friend's guest bed but you were too tired to care. He shed his own clothes down to his boxers before sliding into the bed beside you and pulling you into his arms, your head on his chest. He ran his fingers through your hair and along your bare back “I love you baby girl” he whispered into the crown of your head before leaving a kiss there. “Love you Ed’s” you barely mumbled before drifting off to sleep.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #oneforthemunny #one for the munny summer game #dom!eddie munson x reader

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natuhcake · 4 months

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This is an excerpt from my Diapered Errands Novel that I’m writing. Currently 45 pages in. Let me know if you Sissies want me to post more of this on here. I normally post it on Deviant Art

Chapter Four: Fun on the Swings

“Wakey Wakey little one! We’ve made it to the park! Aren’t you excited!”

I looked outside and saw a park with a jungle gym and some swings. It was enclosed in a gate and had a large sign on it. Only ones under age 9 are allowed to play here.

Tiffany looked at the sign and opened the gate latch and walked me into the park. She then closed the gate and latched it shut.

“Here let’s get you on the swing” Tiffany exclaimed.

Tiffany brought me over to the swing set and I quickly hopped onto the swing.

“Silly girl! You act way too young to be on the big kids swings. Let’s get you on those” Tiffany pointed to the baby swings with baby seats on them. They looked too small for me but Tiffany insisted.

“I don’t think I’m going to fit…” before I could finish my sentence she picked me up and placed my two dangling feet into the baby swing. I could tell instantly that I was too big and that’s when she let go of me and with my body weight I fell into the baby seat. Both of my legs went through the leg holes and my diapered bottom squeezed inside.

“See! You fit! Let’s get you in the air”

I could tell that I was stuck in the chair, it was very tight but Tiffany didn’t care. She began swinging me up and down and cooing at me.

“Look at how high you’re going, girly! Why don’t you say “weee” for Mommy”

To not make matters worse I listened to Tiffany and began saying “weee” as she pushed me on the swing.

“Wee, weeee, weeee!!” I yelled! Forgetting where I was

I began to worry, what if someone saw me like this, riding on the baby swing in a Pink Satin Romper, buttoned up the back to the top. Pink Satin Bonnet tied around my next and matching pink Satin Booties and Mittens button on. In addition to my pink pacifier attached to my Romper. I tried to see if I could pull myself out of the seat but I couldn’t. My silky mittens weren’t giving me any grip to pull myself up. I’d pull and pull but they just weren’t gripping enough.

Tiffany stopped pushing after a while and was about to take some pictures.

“Oh shoot! I left my phone in the car, I’ll be right back honey, don’t go anywhere!” She said. Before I could attest she placed my pacifier in my mouth. I began suckling the pacifier while I waited for Tiffany to return. After a few minutes I began to worry and turned around in my seat to see if I could see her in the car. The car was not there, it was not in the spot that she parked in and I couldn’t see her MiniVan anywhere. Luckily the park was empty but I needed to get out of the seat. I quickly began to start pulling myself out of the seat but it was really really tough. I was making some progress and then my grip slipped and I fell deeper into the baby swing seat. I began sweating nervously and I ended up filling my diapers with my lunch along with some warm pee. I continued to clutch to the swing. Just when all hope is lost, I see a car pull back into the parking lot. I couldn’t tell what kind of car it was as the sun was setting and was blocking my view but they pulled into the same place Tiffany did. All of sudden the car door opens and an older man comes out. He has a green jumpsuit on and looks to be the groundskeeper for the park. He has brownish long hair and seems to be coming my way.

More Cumming soon!

#sissy crossdress #sissy diapered #sissy cd #happy #blouse #sissy crossdresser #cuteness #humiliated sissy #sissy stories #sissy crossdressing

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cemeterything · 2 years

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I've been sitting on whether or not to say anything or not, I hate to be intrusive. (for ease of access i will be spacing out what i want to say, so i apologize in advance if it appears lengthy; It's also not necessary to publish this if you'd rather not, but for your peace of mind, I thought maybe I'd weigh in. I do apologize if this is unwarranted.

I did want to say that one of the most frustrating experiences, is that there are constantly going to be people who are intent on (if not outright Devoted to) deliberately misunderstanding you. Regardless of how much clarity you provide on statements you've made.

You portray yourself as kind, compassionate, and even handed. You're even patient when others cross your boundaries.

Others should bear in mind that your friendliness and patience are not invitations for blatant disrespect, invasive questioning or mistreatment. Popularity aside you are a person, with very real feelings.

In my personal experience, as someone who has been in online spaces since early 2000's, those taking issue with you on bad faith right out the gate tend to be much older than the people they harass. It's rarely your peers, And truthfully I wouldn't dignify them with a response unless you feel it absolutely necessary.

You don't have to explain yourself constantly to people who are looking for reasons to pick you apart and dislike you. You have nothing to prove to them. You're fine as you are.

i agree, and thank you for this! it really helps to hear and reminds me that it's important to prioritize myself and my personal comfort and mental health when it comes to answering messages from strangers online. but i do also want to say that i genuinely answer most of the asks i do (even the ones accusing me of things i don't agree with or tolerate) because i want to explain myself and clarify my intentions and thought processes. i honestly like discussing things and getting into detail sometimes. i don't intend to let myself get held hostage by anyone, and if people continue to see me in the worst light even after i've clarified my position i try not to dignify them with my time. i even block them if they're especially persistent and/or unpleasant. but this is a really nice and thoughtful message and i'm grateful for the support, thank you ^_^

#for context nothing has happened lately ive just been receiving more anons determined to misinterpret me constantly than usual lol

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 5 months

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Hi! I have kind of a double situation going on with my sex(?) life right now and I was looking for a little bit of advice? I'm 22 and I'm a virgin, but I've felt a lot more comfortable with like acting sexually than I previously did (I had my first kiss literally a year ago and have made out with a couple of guys since then and gave my ex handjobs)and I like physically want to have sex but I feel like there's a mental block? Like I'll put myself in a situation where I feel like I'll definitely do something, like going over to some guy's house on the first date, but whenever they actually ask me to do anything I just like panic and say no? And thankfully these guys have all respected that, except for one who was pushing pretty hard, but it's just disappointing and frustrating. Part 2 of the problem is the only person I've even like kissed since the beginning of the semester is my ex-boyfriend, who screwed me over so incredibly hard when we broke up but is seemingly the only person who I feel comfortable with in that way even though all my friends hate him and I don't particularly trust him as a person. I know this is reading as more like a rant than a question but basically I just wanted to know if you had any tips for getting over that in-the-moment panic and/or if you think it might be a better idea to like keep putting myself out there and get more comfortable or just like take a boys break?

hi anon,

okay. listen.

there are all kinds of things where "do it scared" is good advice. sex is not one of them!!!

if the idea of having sex is making you panic, just take that shit off the table. there's a huuuuuuge difference between physically wanting to have sex and actually being in a place where that's something that feels safe and comfortable for you. bodies want all kinds of stupid shit regardless of whether it's actually a good idea. my body has days where it wants to stay in bed forever jacking off and eating nothing but peanut butter cups, but I'm gonna feel like hot dog shit if I do that so I don't because my brain that's capable of rational thought and making good decisions actually gets to make that call, not my body.

you don't have quit boys completely, but I would recommend setting the expectation right out of the gate that sex isn't going to be an option. one thing that my wife found effective when he was on the dread dating apps was just putting that he was asexual upfront in his bio, which meant that people he was talking to would (hopefully) not be expecting sex to happen.

the other great thing about managing expectations like that is that you can change your mind at literally any time, like if sex starts to sound Not Terrifying, and let the person (or people) in question know that you've changed your mind. but the best way to get to that point might be taking away the expectation of sex happening at all, to avoid any sense of pressure and let you reach that point in your own time.

if setting that boundary sounds like something you don't want to do, then yes! it is time to take a break from boys and focus on literally anything else!

#sex edventures 2023

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jpitha · 1 year

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Just a Little Further 18

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

Ava bows dramatically, "Of course, Empress. Anything else while I'm over there? People are starting to worry about you, so I fear that they might just leave you."

I blink. Leave me? Abandon me here and go?

You're Empress now. They fear your power and what you will do. Some people there also fear you giving them orders.

But, it's not like I'd give them a bad order, or something I wouldn't do myself.

Despite what Ava - pardon us - Builder Ava says, a majority of people do not like to be ordered around.

Hmm. This is becoming more than I thought it would be very quickly. If they leave, then there goes our best ship and best way to traverse the gates. Coming in, it didn't look like the ships docked here were moving anytime soon and Ottarn's ship is proving that. We need ships.

"Ava. I have an idea. When you go back to FarReach and see if anyone else - human or K'laxi - is willing to come with you. Don't tell them we want to make them builders, but don't like, deny it either. We're going to need more help here than just the two of us." I see her face fall a little, uh oh. "But uh, you're still the first, and you're still my right hand, you'll hold a special place." That perks her up a little bit.

"We need a ship. I'm worried that FarReach might leave. See if you can get a duplicate of FarReach's printer database. She should have plans in it to make just about anything we need, up to and including a wormhole generator and Stardrive."

Ava gasps. "we're going to make our own ship? But, we don't know any AIs."

I nod. "We will have Builders though. If they can become starbases, I bet they can become starships. Plus, Venus doesn't use them, so I know it's possible."

At the mention of Venus, Ava raises her eyebrows. "You're not thinking of reaching out to Venus are you?"

I try and make a noncommittal gesture. "Well, they are the official government in the inner Sol system. And they are experts in doing things without AI help."

Ava is firm. "They're assholes Melody. They treat everyone not from Venus with no respect. They don't even think AIs are people."

Ugh, she's right. We can't reach out and contact Venus. If we did, we'd be seen by everyone else in human space as throwing our lot in with them.

Okay, we'll do it on our own. People over here have been in space for a long time, they know how to make starships.

Yes, but why are their engines so weak? Why did they never learn how to use a wormhole generator? They're ossified. They have no flexibility.

Well then, it's time for us to do some stretching exercises and see if we can get some flexibility back in place over here.

"Ava thank you, you're right. No Venus. We'll do it on our own." Ava beams at the compliment. "They must have a printer here. So we'll see if FarReach will let us duplicate their database and we'll build our own ship. We'll start small, a Frigate or something, no need to go nuts and make a Starjumper or Dreadnought right off the bat."

Ava smiles. "Wonderful. I think that's the right plan. I'll head over to FarReach, get your coffee, see if anyone else wants to join us and grab a copy of the database. Back in a few!" She reaches up and kisses me on the cheek before she leaves. My hand reaches up to touch the spot as I watch her leave. What was that?

She understands what it means to be the right hand to an Empress.

What it means to be an Empress? I look around the throne at all the empty seats in the gallery, the empty floor far below me, the wall blocking me off from the rest of the Reach. This will not do. If I am to really be Empress, I cannot rule from the rear. Where nobody sees me. I need to be... visible.

I stare at the huge, closed off opening to the Throne, and the paltry doorway I made just an hour ago. That won't do. Nobody can see me, can worship me from such a tiny door. I concentrate and think how it's supposed to look.

Grey fog boils and flows across the floor from behind me and down the stairs, flowing towards the wall. Making a change this large is tiring, but on the Throne I feel like anything is possible. More and more fog appears and climbs the wall at the far end of the room, and starting from the top, the wall starts to disappear. Working on a atomic level, the Nanites are disassembling the wall, turning some of the matter into more Nanites, and the rest becoming dust.

About halfway through the opening of the wall, I can hear a commotion outside. It's probably surprise at such a large wall being taken down without any heavy machinery. I guess it could also be people worried about the blast of fresh air and the improved environmental settings I just activated. I hope the vendors in front of the wall are able to move out of the way without being injured. I have already decided that if they lose any equipment I'll reimburse them personally. Nobody should be punished for me making sure that I am more visible.

Nobody who doesn't deserve it, at least.

I mentally roll my eyes as I can feel the Nanites nodding sagely.

As the wall comes down, I begin to see it. A crowd has formed outside the wall, and... yes I can hear the same singing I heard the first time. This must be The Smell of Soil after Rain's work.

The wall fades entirely, and I'm able to look down the Promenade of the Starbase. It really is an excellent view. I'm able to look all the way down to the administrative offices and over to the docks. As people come streaming in, they're still singing. I raise the lights in the Throne brighter and illuminate everything just to the point of being painful. They're not the only ones who can put on a show.

Rain's congregation barely fills out the entrance, let alone the lower galleries, but as they come in, more people from around the Starbase follow.

Everyone likes a show.

I decide to play it up. I've heard it enough that I know the basic beats of the song. As it reaches its crescendo, I stand and spread my wings wide.

The crowd erupts.

"People of Reach of the Might of Vzzx! After too long, your Builder, your Empress has returned! I am Empress Melody Mullen the First and I am here to help you become who you are meant to be. Who we are meant to be. No more will we cower in our starbase in our single system. We were an empire once, and will be again!"

They're chanting my name now. I have to admit, this is pretty great. I cast my gaze down and see Rain watching the speech. I wonder how I'm able to pick out individual people in the crowd so easily now?

"The Smell of Soil After Rain! Approach me!"

Bounding up the stairs, Rain is practically floating. They are rapturous. As they near me, they get down on their knees and bows, their head touching the floor.

Everyone in the crowd behind them follows.

"Rise."

He stands, practically vibrating with anticipation. There must be come kind of tech in the room. I don't need to shout, but the sound still has a nice, regal echo about it. "The Smell of Soil After Rain. You were the first. The first to recognize what I was, the first to see me for what I truly am. For that, you shall be rewarded." I reach a hand out and touch their shoulder. The crowd gasps as the white vestments turn royal blue.

"You are now Bishop for Reach of the Might of Vzzx. You will be the head of all the congregations here and you shall be responsible for making sure that I am worshipped correctly. Your first act is to call all the congregations here. We shall meet tomorrow to begin my reign properly. I will declare a celebration and will hear the pleas of my people. Let them know that should they so desire, they may petition me."

He turns and faces the crowd. I incline my head gently towards him, and in response, the crowd kneels to him. Clearly, his head is swimming. "Rise my flock!" He says to the gathered crowds. "The Empress has given us an order. Come, let us go spread the word so that tomorrow we can finally have our prayers answered."

Cheers and more singing. erupts from the crowd. In the time it took me to give my little speech and elevate Rain, the crowd doubled in size.

Rain turns back to me, and I lean in close to them and whisper. "Prove to me you're worthy of this elevation. Do not fail."

Their head jerks back, and their feathers ripple in surprise. Eyes wide, they nod, and swallow. I have taken all their joy of the elevation and turned it to fear.

Like I said, Great Empresses are feared and loved in equal measure.

I gently send him down the stairs, and before he reaches the bottom, his congregation picks him up and carries him on their shoulders out of the room. Presentation over, the crowd begins to leave.

I stand up. You wouldn't know it from looking at it but the Throne is surprisingly comfortable. Still, I was sitting quite a while. Ava hasn't returned either, so I don't really know what to do. I guess I should head back to FarReach and see what's going on.

I don't particularly want to be mobbed while I make it back to the dock, so I turn the crown and wings off. Huh, I am getting better at affecting the world around me.

I walk down the side of the stairs so it's not completely obvious, and I leave the throne room and walk towards FarReach. As I go, I hear Rain's congregation rush around, spreading the word. Some people are amused and tolerant, some tell them to leave and stop bothering them, and others are surprised and excited.

As I approach the dock, I see Ava. She's running towards me with a worried look on her face. Behind her, Omar and Um'reli are following behind looking confused and worried as well.

And she has my rifle on her back.

Ava sees me and waves "Melody! There's a problem!" I rush up to them. "What's wrong Ava? Hello Omar and Um'reli, why are you here?"

"That's just it Melody. FarReach declared Captain Q'ari unfit. She has assumed command of the mission and has stated that they're going home! She's disconnected from the umbilical and left!

What.

"What? Unfit? How come?"

Omar answers this time. "So, have you noticed how whenever anyone is around you, they are awfully chill about how you're now a God Empress who can not be disobeyed if you use your new creepy voice?"

My face said it all apparently. No, I hadn't noticed.

Omar nods. "Well, yes, that's what happens. You are giving off some kind of 'don't worry about it' field when around folks, and when you leave, it wears off. Captain Q'ari didn't... take it well. Dr Irenieum locked her in her quarters. Mei'la and Fer'resi also were pushing for us to leave."

"With me?"

Omar gives me a look. "That was not considered. Everyone figured you wouldn't leave. Ava showed up and said she's a Builder now too, and asked all of us if any of us wanted to stay with you and her to help rebuild the empire. She also grabbed your coffee stuff-" Ava holds up a bag, and smiles "-and said you asked for a copy of the printer database?"

"That's right. We're going to need our own starship. The ones that are here aren't very good, given that Mariens - Ottarn - who is trying to run in one that is practically leaving at a walking pace. I wanted a copy of the printer database so we could make our own Starships."

I look at them again. "So, if you're here then... you're in?"

Omar shrugs. "I didn't have anything going for me back home. Spouse died a few years back, we never had kids, I re-enlisted just for something to keep my mind off things. Staying out here is something new and different at least. I've never been this close to a God Empress before. Also, when Ava said you wanted a copy of the printer database I figured you'd need an operator. I bet you can't run a printer and I don't know how well anyone here would do."

I walk over and give him a hug "Oh Omar. You're welcome with us. Always." I kiss him on the lips and he jumps back. "Woah Melody! you're nice and all, but I'm gay, I'm not into women like that."

I lean back in shock. "Oh no, no, I'm sorry Omar, that's the easiest way I can give people Nanites to make them a builder. I apologize! I should have asked first! I'm so embarrassed."

"It's okay Melody, but next time warn a person."

I look over at Um'reli "What about you? Why do you want to stay? I thought a bunch of K'laxi feared me because of that old religion."

She scoffs. "Not all of us Melody. I'm an atheist, always have been. Most of my familial group is. Ava explained what was going on, and how you had said you didn't want just humans to be Builders-" I glanced over at Ava and she winked "-and thought that you were right. There was no reason that we had to sit by and be a client species if we were being offered a partnership." Um'reli looked at me carefully. "It is a partnership, right?"

I nodded. "Yes, of course. I can't do it on my own, and the K'laxi have been our friends for centuries. I'm not about to say that you are our friends but now you're a client group too. I'm the Empress, but you can be a Builder as well."

Um'reli smiles. "Thanks Melody. So... kissing?"

"Just a quick peck. The Nanites say it's the fastest way to give you some. If you don't want to, we can find out if there's a different way."

"No, no, it's it's fine..." Her fur ripples a blush. "Are you sure Ava won't be jealous?" Um'reli laughs.

I laugh too, but Ava just chuckles politely. I look over and Holy shit, she is jealous. I pretend I didn't notice and bend down and give Um'reli a peck on the mouth.

"Okay, it'll take about a day for the Nanites to grow and reproduce until you have enough to be able to do stuff like me. The language processing comes fastest though, that one should be working at least a little bit in a few hours."

Ava comes forward and hands me my rifle. "I know you didn't ask for it, but... I know how much it means to you."

I can't believe she thought of me enough to bring me this. It's so thoughtful.

"Thank you Ava, it's incredibly thoughtful of you to do that." I go in for a hug, and she turns my face and gives me a kiss too. I shrug mentally and kiss her back.

After, I lean back and ask "How did you get this?"

"Oh While Omar and Um'reli were getting their things I was waiting by the airlock and realized that you still had your rifle in the locker. I touched the panel and it popped open! I grabbed it and then Omar and Um'reli appeared and we left quickly."

I was shocked. Nobody should be able to open those lockers.

Builders can. She probably just thought really hard about being able to please you.

I look at my new team. It's just the four of us, but I'm hopeful that we can do great things.

Omar looks around the dock and then back at me. "So, uh Melody, where do we sleep?"

Shit.

Part 19

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans go on adventure #humans are space oddities #sci fi writing #writing #humans and ai #humans and aliens #the k'laxiverse #jpitha #just a little further

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simpforchuchu · 2 years

Text

Yuken Odajima x reader x platonic!Sachio

a/n: Okay im really in love with High & Low boys xkmekx So here you are ♥️🥳 More H&L requests !!

Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...

Thank you and love you 🥰

Warnings: none

It was an ordinary day in Housen. A quiet, sunny and peaceful day...

Sachio, Yuken, and the others were sitting on one of the garden benches and chatting. The schoolyard was peaceful, or so Sachio thought.

A few minutes later, seeing the young girl running through the schoolyard gate, Sachio quickly stood up and the others looked at her in shock.

All of the Housen leaders frowned when they saw the 2 boys running in behind the girl, and they made their way to the door.

Sachio who was standing in the middle of the garden looked seriously at his friend who is running towards him. Seeing her friend she smiled happily and stood right in front of the young leader.

The girl, gasping for breath, raised her head and smiled at her friend.

"Hey, Sachio! What's up? I think I might be in a bit of trouble"

2 boys running after her shouted while Sachio looked at his friend solemnly

"Oi! You little bitch! Come here!"

Y/n looked back and smiled and turned to the boys and waved.

"You were looking for Sachio, right? He's right in front of you! Leave me alone!"

Sachio glared angrily at the boys chasing him at y/n's words. They probably chased after his friend to get to him, which made him even more angry. He took a step forward, got y/n behind him, and walked towards the boys across from him.

"If you have a problem with me, come straight to me. Stay away from my friend or I will kill you!"

The fight was over as soon as the boys attacked Sachio. It all took a few minutes and the Housen members threw the boys on the ground out of the school.

Sachio straightened himself up and walked over to his friend who was watching the fight. Sachio sighed as Y/n waited with a smile on her face.

"How many times do I have to tell you to stay out of trouble y/n? I may not always be there to protect you."

Y/n wiped the smirk off her face and looked seriously at her best friend.

"I know... but this time it's not my fault... really... they blocked my way and asked about you. I might have punched the long haired one too..."

Sachio rolled his eyes as the Housen leaders laughed

"Oh come on! I swear I was just defending myself."

Sachio sighed deeply and smiled

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

Y/n quickly nodded and showed her fist.

"Remember? I learned from the best!"

Sachio chuckled and ruffled y/n's hair and smiled

"yeah right"

As Y/n and Sachio made their way to the benches, the blond boy next to them watched, smiling. Yuken had always had an interest in y/n. It was funny and sweet to him that she was constantly getting in trouble but still easily got away with it. He also knew that despite how strong she said she was, she was also quite a delicate and weepy person.

While Y/n was chatting with Kenzo and Shojii, Sachio looked at Yuken, who was watching them with a smile, and nodded with a smile.

"She's such a pain in the ass but I love her"

Yuken smiled as he looked up at his friend next to him.

"She loves you too, it seems like there's nothing she wouldn't do for you"

Sachio smiled and shook his head.

"She's like a second sister to me... I want to protect her but I can't always be there for her. That's why I want her to stay out of trouble but... you know she's a bit crazy"

Yuken laughed and nodded his head.

"That's why I like her"

Sachio smiled and shook his head.

"I think she likes you too, she acts differently around you but you never notice it"

Yuken looked at his friend in surprise.

"What do you mean?"

Sachio shrugged and spoke.

"She's more aggressive, louder, and more annoying when she's with us. But when she's talking to you, her tone is softer, calmer, and ... less annoying"

As Yuken thought about what his friend had said, Sachio smiled and walked over to y/n and the others and joined the conversation.

***

No one knew how the time had passed, but when y/n saw it getting dark, she stood up and clapped her hands together.

"I have to go home now, see you later, I love you guys"

While everyone was smiling and waving, Sachio stood up and turned to y/n

"It's getting late, and I don't want you to go alone after today-"

Y/n grinned and shook her head.

"Ahh, are you worried about me? Cute!"

Sachio rolled his eyes and lightly hit y/n's head, y/n chuckled at that

"Yuken, can you walk with her home?"

Yuken was surprised as he looked at Sachio, y/n was also surprised. Yuken smiled and stood up and nodded his head. Y/n quickly shook her head.

"There's no need, really."

Yuken smiled and said it would be okay. Y/n was happy too but she felt nervous around him.

"Well then, see you y/n. Stay out of trouble!"

Y/n smiled and hugged Sachio. She then waved to the others and they started walking

***

It was a quiet but peaceful walk. Neither of them knew what to talk about, smiling shyly when they looked at each other. Y/n thought the silence was awkward after a while and turned to Yuken.

"Yuken-san, uhm... thank you..."

Yuken laughed and shook his head.

"You are a dear friend to all of us y/n-chan, we can't let anyone hurt you because of us."

Y/n smiled and shook her head. She was about to say something when she realized Yuken had stopped his steps and looked in front of her. There were 2 young guys in front of them and they had baseball bats in their hands.

Yuken quickly took y/n behind him and looked at the boys in front of him. The boys were grinning with the bats in their hands.

"Y/n-chan, please stay behind me and don't do anything stupid."

Y/n nodded her head but remembered that the yuken wouldn't see it.

"Please be careful Yuken-san"

Yuken smiled and moved forward to the boys across from him.

"Who are you ?"

One of the boys grinned and waved the bat in his hand.

"We want to leave a nice message for Housen."

Yuken grinned and shook his head.

"You guys are really stupid aren't you? Attacking me? And when there is a girl with me ? I'm going to kill you!"

When one of the boys swung his bat, Yuken pulled back and swung the attack. He grabbed the bat and kicked the attacker.When the second boy hit Yuken hard with the bat, Yuken cursed and turned around. When the bat hit his arm again, he took the bat from the boy's hand and punched the boy.

While Yuken was taking care of the second boy, he didn't see the other boy approaching y/n. The other boy grabbed y/n and pulled her to him, putting the young girl in front of him. He wrapped his arm around y/n's neck and the young girl called out in fear.

"Yuken!"

Yuken panicked as he let go of the boy he had punched and turned around. How could he not have guessed that? He wasn't their target, it was y/n.

"Don't come close or I'll break her pretty neck."

Yuken glared angrily at the boy in front of him. Y/n looked panicked, but looked fine.

"Y/n-chan..."

The boy's arm tightened even more as Yuken tried to get closer, and y/n squirmed in pain.

"I said don't come close to you! She's coming with me."

Before Yuken could even react, he fell to his knees when someone hit him on the head with a bat.

"Yuken-san!"

Yuken looked at her as Y/n screamed in fear. They could hurt y/n if he stood up, so he had to think.

But at that moment, something unexpected happened. Y/n threw her head back and headbutted the boy behind her, and while the boy was pulling away in pain, she turned and kicked the boy between the legs.

Yuken took this opportunity and quickly got up and beat both boys. And he rushed to the young girl, placing his hands on her cheeks and examining her with concern.

"Y/n-chan! Are you okay?"

Y/n nodded with a smile and grabbed his hands on her cheeks.

"I'm a little dizzy but I'm fine"

At what she said with a grin, Yuken smiled and relaxed.

"I think I might be a little dizzy too."

At what Yuken said with a laugh, y/n looked anxiously at the blood running down his forehead. Yuken smiled to comfort her as her eyes widened in fear.

"I'm fine... really. But let's go home now. More may come."

Y/n quickly nodded and threw Yuken's arm around her shoulder. Yuken smiled at what she did and let her support him.

***

When they got home, y/n helped Yuken slowly sit on the sofa and ran to the bathroom. She came back with a small first aid box in her hand and Yuken, who was sitting quietly on the sofa, smiled.

"Are you sure you're okay, Yuken-san? Do we need to go to the hospital?"

Yuken smiled and shook his head.

"I'm fine y/n-chan... actually there's no need for that."

When Yuken pointed to the box, y/n rolled her eyes and poured some tincture of iodine on the cotton. She gently pressed the cotton ball to the blond boy's forehead and gently cleaned the blood and wound.

Yuken was watching her silently and intently. This focused and worried state of her made him adore her even more.

After bandaging the wound, Y/n looked into the eyes that were staring at her intently. Both of them just stared into each other's eyes. As Y/n's eyes slowly landed on Yuken's lip, Yuken slowly brought his face closer and placed his hand on the young girl's cheek.

There were millimeters between the two of them. Yuken wasn't sure whether to make the first move. If he got it wrong it would have ruined everything, but y/n was braver than him. As the young girl gently pressed her lips to the blonde's, Yuken stroked her cheek with his hand and deepened the kiss.

After an eternity-long kiss, y/n slowly parted her lips and smiled. Likewise, Yuken.

"I love you y/n... if you feel the same way-"

"I do!"

Yuken smiled at y/n's excited voice and stood up slowly. He pulled her into a tight hug and placed a small kiss on her hair.

"I think I'm the luckiest man in this town now."

Y/n chuckled and hugged the body hugging her tighter.

#high and low fic #high&low fic #oya high #high and low #high&low #housen #Sachio #yuken #odajima yuken #yuken odajima #yuken x reader #yuken fic #sachio ueda

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boygiwrites · 7 days

Text

Harley D. Dixon 31

Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note.

A short update this time :) Please enjoy!

I couldn't tell you why if I had to, but people have always told me, You're mature for your age.

It wasn't that I didn't appreciate the sentiment — Whatever it was — because at the very least, I could always tell it was supposed to be a compliment. It's just that I don't think I ever understood what I was doing that was so unusual it deserved a compliment, in the same way that most things that deserve compliments are unusual. I was never particularly smart, or pleasant to look at, or good at much of anything except, maybe, starting fights whenever they suited me. No, I was dumb, sour-looking, and bad at almost everything.

It was when our neighbour Betty told me the same thing that I finally realized why I hated hearing it so much.

Merle was right about you, The fat-faced lady smiled to me as I helped her hang her wet laundry in the sun to dry, her kids' laughter like echoes in the distance, their bicycle bells jabs to the heart. Sometimes I wish my little ones were more like you.

I remember watching the two kids in the dirty side-mirror of her small car, wishing I was more like them. But Merle had bragged to Betty that morning about how much I loved to help with chores, that I was mature for my age, that I didn't want to play.

It was as if I'd done something wrong without even knowing it.

I liked watching cartoon animals sing on TV. I liked doing my hair in the mirror and messing it up. I liked collecting sticks.

How could I have been mature?

Maybe it was because I never cried when I got beat?

It never mattered any — I didn't have a choice. It was already decided that I was, mature for my age.

Thank you, princess, Merle would croon to me, You're a good girl. You ain't like them other shitheads, is ya?

No, Merle, I'd reply, so many times that I ended up believing it, Never.

Walking in front of Glenn on our way back to the cell block, I sneak a glance at Carl at my side, catching his guilty expression.

I wonder what I did to deserve that rank, or if I ever even did?

Glenn takes the keys outta his pocket and unlocks the door for us. As it creaks open, I realize that I prolly shouldn't humour that line of thinking right now, because Lori is waiting for us in the cell hall as we step inside, gasping when she notices us.

"Oh, my God," She exclaims, spooking some of the others into turning their heads. "What hap—?"

"They wanted to find the infirmary," Glenn tells her before she can even ask. "Found them trapped in a room."

"What?" She looks from him, to us. "Are you crazy?"

We ain't supposed to respond that, but I'm guessing the answer is, Yes.

"What made you think that was a good idea?"

"All things considered," Glenn admits, shrugging a shoulder as he passes the duffel bag to her, watching as she unzippers it. Inside, there's pill bottles and bandages piled high, making for an impressive sight. "We made out alright. Got just about everything we needed."

Maggie approaches us as Lori stammers before sighing, "It's hard to be very pleased with this, knowing how you got it."

"He's alright?" Glenn asks Maggie.

Nodding sullenly and looking at the bag in Lori's grasp, she asks, "Is this from the infirmary?"

"Yeah," Carl answers defiantly, "Me and Harley went. We had to."

Lori sighs, "We appreciate that—"

"Then get off my back."

"Carl," Glenn scolds him harshly. "Don't talk to her like that."

"Don't worry about it." Flustered, Lori brushes him off and nudges Carl's shoulder. "Just go wait for your father. Both of you."

We're so fucked, I think to myself as Carl lets out a begrudging huff and spins on his heels, stomping off in the direction of the dinner hall. With one last guilt-ridden glance at Glenn, I turn and follow the boy through the gate, unsure if I wish we had not gotten caught, or if we had just not gone at all. I sit next to him on one of the benches, with nothing else to look at except for the single door across from us.

An awkward silence settles in as Carl takes off his hat and sets it in his lap, fiddling with the brim.

"Sorry about before." He looks up at me, regret swimming in his sky-coloured eyes. "With the walker. I should've killed it."

It weren't exactly the best part of my day, but I don't blame him for it.

"It's okay."

"Not really," He insists, putting his hat back on. "Glenn was right. If he wasn't there—..."

I watch as he glances at something over my shoulder — Herschel's cell.

"I-I just didn't have a clear shot," He continues, meeting my gaze again. "Its head was so close to yours. I didn't wanna accidentally sh—"

"Okay," I interrupt him. "I'd be mad at'cha if ya did that."

I kinda need my head.

He pauses for a moment, before seeming to forgive himself, smiling a little. "Anyway. I just wanted to say that, before— Y'know."

Before our Dads get back.

"You make it sound like we're 'bouta die," I joke.

He shrugs fully, as if to say, You never know.

I'm counting the stains on my boot when the door opens.

"Food's here," T-Dog calls out with a toothy grin on his face, peeking out from behind the cardboard boxes in his grasp.

Carl and I stay quiet as Glenn and Lori come out from the cell hall to greet him and Rick, asking them where they found so much food. According to a very happy T, we got canned beef, canned corn, and even canned cans, all thanks to a deal they made with the prisoners, who I suppose have accepted by now that money ain't the way to bargain no more. They didn't look like the deal-making sort, but I know they don't have to be. It must've been that in exchange for some of their food, Rick didn't hang them all from a rafter somewhere.

As T-Dog heads into the cell hall with the boxes, Rick places the two big bags of dried corn on the table.

Sparing us a short glance, he asks Lori, "Any change?"

"Bleeding is under control and no fever," The woman tells him, tucking her hair behind her ear with a blood-stained hand, and hesitating before she adds in a lower tone of voice, "But his breath is labored, his pulse is way down, and he hasn’t opened his eyes yet."

Rick opens his mouth to reply, but she cuts him off.

"And that isn't even the worst of it," She says coldly, nodding in our direction. "Guess what happened while you were gone?"

Just tell him already, I sigh to myself, wanting the band-aid to be ripped off already. Carol had the nerve to call us dramatic.

He frowns. "What?"

"They snuck out," Glenn admits, putting his hands on his hips. I watch Rick's expression morph from concern into something sharper, and more like cold anger. "Slipped right past us while we had our backs turned. Wanted to find the infirmary and get supplies."

"Nobody was hurt, thank God," Lori quickly interjects. "But this is something that affects all of us."

"Just thought you'd wanna know," Glenn adds.

Without even saying anything in reply, Rick calls out T-Dog's name, ordering him to go keep an eye on the prisoners.

"Tell Daryl to get in here," He adds in passing.

"Oh, God," I groan, but not quietly enough.

He agrees, "'Oh, God,' is right."

When my Dad appears in the doorway, approaching us with a frown on his face, all I want to do is grab ones of them spoons from the table nearby and start digging a grave for myself. Rick doesn't waste any time telling him what's going on, and I know I just said I wanted all of this to be over with already, but I take that back. My Dad's body seems to flood with anger as if it were just more blood in his veins.

"You did what?" He snarls at us, his lips curling into thin lines around his teeth, loud enough to make us flinch.

"There's far more pressin' matters for us to worry about right now," Rick lectures us, leaning back against the table opposite us and crossing his arms over his sweaty chest, "Than chasing after the two of you, 'cause you wanna go around playin' superheroes."

"Are you fuckin' kiddin' me," Dad grumbles as his outburst wears off, turning to pace around in the background.

"I shouldn't even be wastin' my breath on this," He says.

"Then don't," I quip. "We get it."

We all have a role, or whatever it was that Herschel said to us before his role almost killed him, anyway.

"No, I don't think you do." He argues, looking back and forth between me and Carl. "I'on think you get it at all."

"We put ourselves in danger," Carl says boredly.

"When you were specifically told not to," He pointedly adds, as my Dad sits down on the bench behind him, lacing his fingers in front of his mouth, glaring at us over his dirty knuckles. "I got T in the other room babysittin' the prisoners right now. I got a cell block to clear out, so that I can keep y'all safe in here; y'all don't have to sleep with your eyes open anymore. I'm not havin' tea and biscuits with 'em."

"We didn't think you were." Carl says convincingly. "We know this isn't a game. We know it's hard work."

"Hard work?" Dad interjects, pointing to the cell hall. "Look at that stump on Herschel's leg and tell me it's hard work."

The boy falters a little. "Okay. Okay, it's not hard work. It's—..."

"It's life or death."

I couldn't feel worse about what happened to Herschel — In fact, I feel partly responsible for it all just by the simple fact I weren't there to help — but to tell the truth, I couldn't give less of a shit that it's life or death out there. Why the Hell should I?

"What?" I can't stop myself from sassing, "So, it's fine if Herschel dies, but not us?"

"Harley, who here do you know is fine with Herschel dyin'?" Rick asks to make me feel stupid. "Maggie? Beth? Me?"

"Nobody, but— Y'all let him go wit'chu in the first place!"

"He's capable."

"So am I," I retort. "And don't talk to me 'bout, 'You're only nine,' because every one'a y'all have messed up at some point, too!"

"I'm not saying we haven't," He placates sternly. "We mess up all the time. But when push comes to shove, could you take me down?"

"Yes," I say without thinking, because that question makes no sense.

"Really? You could knock me on my ass?"

"Wanna find out?"

"Hey," My Dad grits. "Watch yer mouth."

"Because that's what you're gonna be face to face with when you're squarin' up to a walker, Harley. You got your knife. Your gun. You know how to take 'em down when they're behind a fence or twenty yards away. But at the end of the day, you ain't even pushin' four and a half feet yet, and you know as well as I do they'd eat you alive out there, no matter how tough you think you are. No matter how strong."

I hate that he's right. I sure couldn't take down that walker that had me by the arm before.

"Hell." He lets out a little laugh. "I've known full-grown men that thought the same thing."

"But I'm mature for my age," I say even though it means nothing, because even if it don't feel like it, I know it must be true.

Dad frowns deeply. "Who told you that?"

"Merle," I admit easily. "And Betty, and Mrs Kannard, and Dennis' Momma, and even Uncle Kyle. They all said it."

"Baby," He sighs harshly, always faltering at the mention of his brother. "You're just a kid. You ain't mature for nothin', alright?"

"So they was all lyin', then?"

"Yes. Yes, that's what people say to kids who ain't allowed to be kids," He explains without confusion, battling with his own impatience. "That's what they say so's they can boss ya around and make ya feel bad for cryin' after they make ya cry. S'just nonsense."

"It's not," I tell him. "It's 'cause I ain't like other kids. I'm— I'm tough. So's Carl. That's why."

"You're tough," He agrees, "But you ain't no different. You're just as dumb as any other kid I've ever met. Just as innocent."

Funny how when I'm bragging about how mature I am, I feel my smallest. I'm a phoney.

I guess it was all just another one of Merle's lies, then.

"I know you wanna help. I think it's really admirable of you. It shows you care; you have courage. It don't change the fact that these are your lives we're talking about here," Rick says softly after a long pause. "And I'm not gonna explain to you why that's important."

Embarrassed, I resume counting the stains on my boot because at least with this, there's a simple answer. I think he was right. I didn't get it. I ain't even sure I do now. It's all so confusing that it's makin' my head hurt like a sore thumb. What I learnt is that I'm important, but I'm not important enough to make a difference. I'm tough, but I'm also dumb and innocent, and for some reason, even though I love Herschel like he's my grandpa, and he's the reason so many of us haven't lost our minds yet, his life is more expendable than ours.

All I want to be is what people think I am. Merle thought I was mature. Carl thinks I'm helpful. Dad thinks I'm tough. I can't control what they think about me, but I can prove 'em right. If I's what I thought I was, I'd just be a useless girl, and I couldn't bare it.

"I'm going to assume the message was made clear." He says. "We can talk more later, alright?"

This ain't what I signed up for when I said yes to Carl.

As Rick pushes himself off the table, my Dad jokes, "Seems like you're always talkin' more later, Grimes."

"Tell me about it." He muses tiredly. "I need to go speak to Lori and then we can head out."

"Sure."

As he walks away, Dad scratches at his temple and considers me and Carl, before he drops his hand.

"That was fuckin' stupid, sneakin' off like that." He says plainly, like he's telling us the sky's blue. "You get that, right?"

"Yeah," We both say.

"I'm gonna throw y'all to the walkers if it ever happens again, ain't that right?"

"Yeah," We say again.

He slowly nods to himself. "Good. 'Cause I mean it. They like little kids the best."

Against my own will, I'm suddenly scrunching my nose at him and smiling. "No, they don't, Dad."

"Sure they do. They told me."

Carl clearly doesn't buy it. "Walkers can't talk, Daryl."

"That's what they want you to think," He says ominously, grabbing his crossbow and standing from the bench. "Tell ya what — We gon' be gone a while, but when we get back, I'mma be pickin' off some of them walkers in the courtyard. Need me some volunteers."

"Me," I quickly stick my hand up like I'm in school again. "I'll do it."

"And me," Carl nods.

"Okay," Dad lilts as I lower my hand. "But only if you're free."

"We're free," I confirm. Anything is better'un washin' dishes. "We're super free. Free-est we ever been."

His mouth twitches up into an amused smirk. "Alright, then."

Rick marches back into the dinner hall, stuffing a glock in the back of his pants line and nodding toward the door. "C'mon. We're up."

"Stay your asses in the cell block this time," He warns us before slinging his crossbow over his shoulder and following after him.

The door clatters shut.

I let out a big breath.

"We're alive," Carl says, shocked.

Not wanting to jinx it, I stand from the bench and we head back into the cell hall together.

End Notes.

The phrase, "You're mature for your age," in my opinion, is almost never a good thing. Or even true!

As a kid who was told this all the time growing up, I know that it's mainly because of people mistaking trauma in children for maturity. I wanted to reflect my experiences in Harley's. I make a point try not to project any of my own feelings or opinions onto characters because I want them to stay authentic, but I felt like it would be plausible that she went through the same thing as I did.

Hope you enjoyed this short chapter!

#the walking dead #fanfic #daryl dixon #twd #twd fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon daughter #daryl dixon twd #rick grimes #angst #hurt comfort #daryl x reader #daryl dixon fanfic #glenn rhee #carl grimes #twd daryl dixon #ao3 fanfic #the ones who live #norman reedus

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