#but i was so sad despite knowing i personally could never thrive in my hometown

[perilegs]

being homesick and changing as a person so much the place you grew up in isn't your home anymore is such a core part of ati and upon further inspection i think i was projecting a little

[aislingeu]

hello!! i’m kq ( aka kelsey quinn! ) i’m twenty five, livin in the est, usin she / her pronouns!! much like the good buddy who turned me on to this rp, i don’t know a ton about percy jackson!! but mythology was one of the few subjects that held my attention in school, so i hoe i have a good handle on it! :D for now, i manage a comic book store from thursdays - sundays, so i’m scarce those times but i’m usually on discord!!

⟨ ABIGAIL COWEN. CIS FEMALE. SHE / HER ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, AISLING DUNN is actually a descendant of H Y P N O S. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-THREE year old PAINTING MAJOR from DUBLIN, IRELAND has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CLEVER & COARSE.

this got way longer than i intended im so sorry... 

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

she was born on march 12th, 1997 to a pair of irish musicians ( conor and dierdre dunn ) and, unwittingly, one greek god ( hypnos ) in dublin, ireland. her parents met and married shortly after her conception and neither of them suspected that conor wasn’t aisling’s father, until she was claimed.

as an only child, her parents didn’t have much to compare her too in terms of overall strangeness. for years, they wrote off her abilities as kids just sayin’ the darndest things. they remained blissfully unaware of the impact of their daughter’s words, rolling their eyes fondly, when she told them about the man in the cave, who came to her in dreams. they smiled and laughed, when she strangers at the supermarket that she thought erwin was a fine name to give a teddy bear, no matter what anyone else said. how were they to know that she was unearthing the fond childhood memories that passersby had almost forgotten? 

when she enrolled in primary school, they realized that she was... strange, if not special. she was recognized as a bit of a space case, often staring at nothing in particular, while her teacher droned on. her worksheets were seldom turned in complete. instead, aisling began gifting poorly drawn family portraits on the blank sides of her papers, likenesses plucked from the memories she explored when her mind wandered, in class.

eventually, after her skill had developed and people stopped writing off the stick figures as ‘coincidentally accurate’, people began to truly take notice. they speculated that she was a medium, silently communing with the dead and painting their pictures as she did. how else could she know what her art teacher’s late father looked like? and what color tie he always liked to wear? she had to be a psychic. recipients of her art were always so focused on their perception of the little girl with the gift of sight that they hardly even realized what she had tweaked, brightening up their darkest memories, just so they wouldn’t have to hurt anymore. she hardly even realized, herself.

without a reason to believe otherwise, she told the man in her dreams that she was a psychic, but he knew differently. he told her that that wasn’t so. she was special, yes, but not in the ways that the world thought her to be. hypnos let her in on the secret he’d been keeping for the past twelve years and, just like that, aisling could make sense of herself. once she knew the truth, she chased sleep. she spent as much time as she could, communicating with the one person who understood who she was. he saw her hunger for belonging and pointed her in the direction of the camp nearest to her hometown.

after a summer away, she came home faced with a challenge in morality that she’d never considered, as a child. she came home to a world where she could no longer fit. her party tricks had lost their luster the moment she realized that true value of a memory, however sad, was worth far more than the cheap smiles that her alterations had afforded. with that realization, her art took a darker turn. unable to shift the memories she saw into the light, they haunted her. she now saw their fears and heartbreaks for what they were: unchangeable. and, now, they lived within her, too. putting them to paper was the only way to get them out. but, pieces like those weren’t the kind that could be sent home to mom and dad. pieces like those were the kind that got her meetings with guidance counselors and haunted, fleeting looks from those whose memories she’d never meant to disturb. after a year of that, aisling went back to camp, full time.

once she was a year round resident of the camp, she found herself more comfortable around people who understood; there was nothing she had to hide, among those who were like her. each one of them was fighting an uphill battle of their own. they didn’t have to hide it. even if she never allowed herself to get too close, aisling never felt all that far away, at camp.

at eonia, aisling spends most of her days painting, sleeping, or working. raised by a pair of mortal musicians, finding a job at fireside records felt like a natural progression. where her godly parent thrives in silence, she finds her comfort in noise. it’s easier to block out the things she doesn’t need to see when there’s something immediate for her to focus on. at the other end of that spectrum, aisling finds her mind most open in visual arts club, trying to keep her other creative skills sharp, while she keeps her primary focus on painting. in search of inspiration, her mind reaches out in tendrils, dipping into another’s until she finds something she can work with. she only needs to leave the room before they’ve realized what she’s borrowed. 

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

aisling is a naturally empathetic person, always wishing she could do more to help those around her. unfortunately, she knows that she can’t always honor that instinct. her abilities and self-imposed limitations have left her with a hardened exterior that isn’t easy to break through. those who pass through her walls see a softer side: a steadfast friend, always there to put a peaceful end to their sleepless nights or calm their worst nightmares, with a gentle run of her fingers through their hair. but sometimes, she’ll wall herself away from even those she’s closest to after she finds herself in the middle of a particularly harrowing memory. because of this, maintaining close bonds for long is a difficult thing. given her propensity for accidentally rifling through the fondest and most fearsome parts of peoples’ pasts, she’s been known cut them out of her life when she sees something that she has the urge to alter.

𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒

MEMORY RETRIEVAL — for as long as she could remember, aisling knew things that she shouldn’t. at first, her parents just dismissed her gift as imagination and observation combining in a perfect, creepy storm. it wasn’t until she started attending school, picked up her finger paints, and started to draw out moments from the pasts of strangers that people started to truly take notice. sloppy scenes from the librarian’s wedding day graduated into well sketched portraits of her bus driver’s dalmatians. she liked to take those happy moments, immortalize them in art, and hand them off to the owners of the memories. she liked to make people smile. sometimes, she took that a step further. too young to see the value in sadness, aisling would tweak the memories that were harder to bear; even if she couldn’t bring someone happiness in the present, she hoped she could bring them comfort in the future. it wasn’t until she was claimed that aisling saw the flaws in her intervention. it wasn’t until she was taught the consequences that she knew she had to stop. although the memories came to her unbidden, they didn’t belong to her and she had no right to change them. instead of focusing on the alteration of memories, aisling opted to try to learn how to shut them out. like her other powers, though, there’s a direct correlation between her emotional state and her ability to keep a wall up. when she’s feeling something strongly or hasn’t gotten enough sleep, she sees things that she doesn’t mean to.

HYPNOKINESIS — you are getting very sleepy… what proved to be a fun tool at sleepovers had more practical applications than aisling knew possible. the skill of inducing sleep was easy enough to come by and influencing dreams was as simple as altering memories. and while ( without intending to ) she’d been known to cause visions when tensions ran high, refining those visions into ones that took the shapes she wanted them to took practice. even more difficult than that was learning to astral project, but that became a necessity, coming hand-in-hand with building her mental walls. when the uninvited memories start to weigh on her, she’s learned that it’s best to remove herself from the immediate vicinity. even if she’s only technically leaving in her head. 

OTHER ABILITIES — ( levitation ) a skill she only possesses in sleep, predominantly when her dreams are eliciting strong emotions. ( seeing the gods in dreams ) this is how she formed and maintained a relationship with her father, despite her parents being unaware of their daughter’s godly lineage. on occasion, she’ll encounter gods that she’s less familiar with and, in most of those cases, she’s been known to force herself awake.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

there are so many cool, fun things runnin through my brain right now!! i think it would be lovely for her to have forged a friendship with an insomniac or maybe someone prone to nightmares that she could help! and those fun customer service relationships with record store regulars!! or maybe a former friend or significant other, who aisling left behind? maybe even altering their memory slightly, if the parting of ways was ugly! who knows! the possibilities are endless!! and i’m always up to hearing other peoples’ ideas because the Sweet Lord knows i am not the most imaginative person in any given room!!!

thank u for reading ilu!!! 

[rynweaverwriting]

The Dizzy Stargazers Project: 5 Questions for 5 Years of The Fool

Conducted by Maria Kornacki

Shoutout to Malcolm MacMaster for the support and giving me a space to make this happen!

“An artist's duty, as far I’m concerned, is to reflect the times.” - Nina Simone

“Music is a universal language” is a common phrase, but it rings true. Music brings people together. Artists often thrive on the intimacy of live shows. However, quarantine has put life on hold.

Social distancing combined with social media challenges us to communicate in other ways. I’ve seen people’s creativity shine during these strange times.

This project is intended to give voice to people, hear their stories, and see how we’re all connected. It’s also a celebration of five years since The Fool was released. It’s a time of reflection and moving forward.

I sent these five questions to several of Ryn Weaver’s fans/friends. The answers could’ve been in written form or a video:

What’s one of your favorite songs and/or lyrics from The Fool and why?

What does it mean to be a “Fool” to you?

What’s one of your favorite memories  of Ryn, either in real life or just through social media interactions?

How has your perception of Ryn’s album and her music as a whole shifted since first listening to it? In other words, have you gained any new insights or is there something in your current life you can connect back to certain themes in The Fool?

In what ways has music helped you?

Responses:

Maria Kornacki (ig: @maria_kornacki)

1. Here Is Home is a standout stylistically. I just like how it has an “in-between” tempo to fit the lyrics. New Constellations and parts of Traveling Song are lyrical embodiments of “the fool” to me, which brings me to my response.

2. A “fool” to me is someone who asks a lot of questions, but doesn’t get all the answers to feel satisfied. Thus, they live the outer life of a nomad stemming from an endless quest for wisdom in their inner world.

3. My favorite memory has to be going live with you for your enriching and confidence-building creative writing prompts despite me being a little unprepared the first time. It made me realize how many music and book synchronicities we have. Also, shoutout to my blue soul individuals: Maggie and Joni. Nina is a color of her own.

4. I connect more with the concept of loss and not settling in terms of my career life. The themes of The Fool follow me in different areas of my life. I also relate to the idea of “what if there’s more?” even just through learning new info and diving deeper.

5. Music has helped me share my expressive and creative sides as well as connect with like minded people, hence why I started this project (2 weeks ago). I didn’t really see myself as someone that could lead, organize, and share my ideas openly, and yet here we are.

Sam (twitter: @heremotionss)

1. My favorite is Pierre because of how personal sounding it is and I love the chorus.

2. I always associate it with being renewed and falling in love.

3. My favorite Ryn memory on social media is when we tweeted about her pet rat.

4. The Fool is an album that doesn’t age. I think I can associate this album personally with coming into young adulthood.

5. Music is a language that can connect with any emotion, and any time in life. I think when certain pieces of work can make people feel something, then it becomes a movement in a way.

Sarah (twitter: @rynsgirlfriend)

1. My favorite lyric from The Fool is "I've never been one for goodbyes". I have trouble dealing with grief and losses and this is very comforting to me.

2. What being a "fool" means to me is following your heart and passions although it may seem crazy. Being a fool to me means submitting to your desires even if you know better.

3. Ryn has always been nothing but caring and compassionate to me. Every time she has supported me is a time that is my favorite. Throughout the years, I've carried heavy trauma with me that's made me erratic, emotional and hard to understand, and Ryn has always been nurturing and supportive.

4. When The Fool first came out, i haven't experienced the pain I have prior to the album release. When I listen to the fool now, I connect more than ever, having dealt with limerence and how painful it can be.

5. Music has helped me feel less alone. I remember always thinking I was crazy and that there was no one like me i could relate to. When artists release vulnerable songs it is metaphorically (to me) a hand on my shoulder, sitting with me through the pain and letting me know I'm not alone.

Bo (ig: @kyototrain)

1. I think my favorite song off of The Fool is New Constellations because it addresses the main point of the album; the uncertainty of what path to take in life. It resonates with me because when I entered college I thought I was confident in what I wanted to do, only to realize I was clueless and unsure of my future. I had to seriously think about what I wanted for myself and how it might make the people close to me feel. While all of the possibilities life can take you can be overwhelming, there’s a relief in it knowing you can choose to be anything you want and do anything you want.

2. To be a fool is to not let the fear of finding your own way in the world keep you limited to something that makes you unhappy.

3. My friend group on twitter added Ryn to our group chat (Taco Bell vigil). We added her thinking she would never come in to chat but she did one night, and we talked with her until like 2 am about music, theatre, stuff like that. It made us all really happy. She comes back to talk sometimes and she calls us tacos.

4. The Fool came out when I was 16, so I didn’t have much life experience. As a result, I wasn’t able to relate a whole lot to the album (I still had it on heavy rotation though). Now that I’m 21, I’ve had so many wild experiences and growth. I can relate to the album a lot more. Whether it’s the love you feel for a soulmate that you’ll feel even if you grow apart (Here is Home), or the feeling of freedom and the need for something more than you have in the moment (New Constellations), it’s helped me appreciate the album even more than I already do.

5. I love music so much because of how versatile it is in the sense that you can have music that you’ll play to get immersed in or music that you play while you’re studying. It can help me escape as well as help me stay focused.

Tate (twitter: @octatate)

1. My favorite song from The Fool is definitely “Promises”. I think all of Ryn’s lyrics are excellent but there’s something so compelling about the lyrics in that song to me. Also, the chorus is fun to scream along to.

2. Being a “fool,” to me means putting up with bullshit from those around you because you care about them, and letting people tell you what you are and what you will be. My entire life I've had people in my life that have tried to bring me down and stand in my way, and for a while, I put up with it. I didn't want to upset anyone, so I just kept my head down and kept moving. In recent years, especially this year. I’ve realized that I need to STOP being a “fool” and stand up for myself  and now I’m making a conscious effort to do so.

3. My favorite memories of Ryn are probably the ones of the conversations my friends and I had with her in our twitter group chat, Taco Bell Vigil. She used to come in and talk to us about Björk and stuff and she was always so sweet and down to earth. It felt like she was actually one of our friends just having a casual conversation with us.

4. I think my perception of The Fool has changed in the sense that my favorite track has changed constantly throughout my time being a fan of her. For a while, it was “Stay Low,” then it was “Pierre,” then it was the title track, then it was “New Constellations,” and now it’s “Promises.” I think I definitely connect to “New Constellations” the most now though, especially the “What if there’s more?” part in the outro. I'm going off to college soon, and lately I've just been thinking about what more the world has to offer me, and where I'll end up. I've lived in the suburbs my entire life, and I want to know if there’s anything more I can do to make the most of my time left in my hometown, and what more the world holds for me wherever I end up going for college.

5. Music is basically the only thing that consistently brings me happiness in life. It’s a constant and always will be. If i’m sad, it’s there for me. If i’m angry, it’s there for me. Whenever i need it, it’s there. I know how corny it sounds, but listening to music really has shaped my life for the better. Ryn’s music especially is very important to me, and I'm sure that years from now when i’m a grown man, I’ll enjoy The Fool and “Reasons Not to Die” just as much as I do now.

Antonio Múnera (ig: @artangelszs)

1. New Constellations have always resonated with me deeply, especially at this exact moment, since I just graduated high school! The music that I like the best always provides some sort of catharsis, and to me, this song is the epitome of that sensation. Every time I listen to it it’s like all of my negative feelings and thoughts are purified. Of course this doesn’t actually happen, but for those 4-5 minutes, I can almost feel all of my problems disappearing. I find solace in every lyric in the song, but particularly in Ryn’s final inquiry, “What if there’s more?” Songs like this are what keeps me searching for that “more” in my life!

2. To me, being a fool specifically comes with some sort of awareness. Even Ryn herself admits that she’s a fool in the chorus of the title track; it’s both a tragic yet solemn way of describing oneself. It’s being conscious about one’s own self destructive behavior, while simultaneously trying to improve as a person. I’m eternally grateful for people like Ryn that share their stories so people like me, another fool, don’t feel so alone in this behemoth of a world.

3. Initially, my favorite memories of Ryn was when she replied to a few of my tweets. However, talking to her twice on instagram live and being able to read my own poetry to her was genuinely one of the most invigorating moments of my life. She even called me a “little poet” once I finished reciting one of my poems :,) But I think the best moment was when she called me “Colombian daddy”. Now THAT brought a tear to my eye.

4. I was in eighth grade when The Fool came out, so naturally, my first listen of it was a bit cursory, for I didn’t really focus on lyrics back then. However, once I actually focused on what Ryn had to say with her album, it became a whole different work of art. This is also because as I grew older, my anxiety and depression just got exponentially worse, and though depression isn’t really a theme explored in Ryn’s album, it does deal with themes of hurting, acceptance, and an ultimate need for emancipation, which are all topics that resonate with me. While The Fool used to be an album that I listened to just to pass the time, now it’s an enlightening experience every time I listen to it, and I can definitely say that it’s going to be one of my favorite albums of all time for the rest of my life!

5. I thought that films were the ultimate source of escapism and happiness, but over the years, I’ve found music to be the most indispensable thing in my life. And that’s not an exaggeration in the slightest. I possibly wouldn’t even still be alive without music like Ryn’s. She is certainly one of my reasons not to die ^-^

Destiny Thomas (ig: @destinyxcx)

1. My favorite song by Ryn is New Constellations, I actually wrote about it in my magazine. There’s a whole page on that song and what the lyric "you can run if you want to" means to me. When I first saw Ryn live on her Misfits tour she would make a speech before New Constellations and inspired me since then to always run from something or someone you're attached to if you're unhappy with it.

3. One of my favorite memories of Ryn was when she was on tour for sure, it was so much fun and of course one of the first times I saw her live and her VIP package on tour was really cool. She's very sweet to her supporters and loves talking to everyone. I'm just really excited for her to come back whenever she's ready to play some shows and release music!!

Nat (twitter: @track1O)

1. My favorite songs from The Fool are Sail On, Here Is Home and New Constellations. I listen to these songs when I’m feeling down because they somehow make me happy, I just feel like Ryn is singing the songs for me and for me only. New Constellations was produced by my favorite producers so this song is very special to me, I love everything about it. Traveling Song is another one I love with my whole heart, I know Ryn wrote this song for her grandpa, this song was already out when my grandpa died, I think I was the saddest person in the world when that happened but listening to it made me feel a little bit better, I messaged Ryn on twitter and thanked her for this song. My favorite lyrics are “soulmates aren’t just lovers, you know?” and all the lyrics from New Constellations.

2. I love being a fool, I’ve never experienced being a fool for anyone but I know I’m a fool in general. I think that’s one of the best things about me.

3. I’ve never meet or seen Ryn live but we used to interact a lot on twitter, my favorite memory is when she came to Mexico to play at a festival but I couldn’t go because it was so far from where I live but me and other friends messaged her and tried to plan a road trip to meet her (it didn’t work but it’s still a good memory lol)

4. I fell in love with her voice and music when I first listened to it, I was so happy when she announced The Fool and I played the album on repeat for months. I can’t wait to listen to her new music in the future.

5. Music is something that makes me the happiest person in the world. I love it so much and that’s the only thing that makes me feel alive. Ryn’s music has helped me a lot. It makes me want to sing, dance, cry, etc. It has helped me during difficult times like when my grandpa died, Reasons Not to Die helped me think about everything in my life when it was released. I just want to thank her for making amazing music, I miss her voice so much so I hope she releases something soon.

Gigi (ig: @misdenlaide)

1. Well I love pretty much all the album, but a song that stand out the most to me is New Constellations. There a lot of heartbreak songs out there, from the person that's been left perspective, but not so many from the person who leaves. I've been in that situation and the way she put it into words was extremely smart. 

2. To be blind. As an example, you know the reality of a situation, but it is not the one you want, so you fool yourself and you just try to make it happen the way you want it to happen... when it won't. Or when you just don't see stuff because of that same reason. I don't know if I made myself clear... you see roses and technicolor when you know you are being a fool with someone else. “Old dog, new treat”.

3) Well I haven't met her in real life (yet), but I remember the songs of the album being there in different situations of my life. I can relate to them a lot, so whenever I was in a similar situation, I just felt like they got me.

4. YES, since The Fool came out I connected to it a lot. Because of old relationships and stuff, where I've been the fool, when I wanted to look for new constellations, when I never meant to break my own promises, and the perspective changed a lot as I was living the same things the songs talked about. For example, New Constellations. I thought it was kind of a love song and then I realized it was a song from someone who leaves another. Crazy, but it happened, and it just made me appreciate her music more.

5. Music has a big impact in my life, so much I want to dedicate the rest of it to music (I am studying musical production now). I met friends because of it, cried tears of joy and sadness. It makes me calm and makes my heart beat faster... I believe that music is my true love in life. It’s something I struggle to put into words. It’s my fuel. My reason to be here, essentially.

Andie (twitter: @andrewdxrling)

1. My favourite lyric would be “My wings too wild to clip and cage around me” (I mean, it IS tattooed on my bicep!). It means a lot to me because it’s a reminder that I can’t let anyone try and use my own mind and heart against me or to try and quiet me. And since it’s on my bicep in Ryn’s handwriting, it’s like a constant reminder from her to always spread my wings and be my authentic self. 

2. To me, being a fool means accepting all the aspects of yourself. The crazy and wild ones, the fucked up ones, the messy ones, and the good ones. It means letting yourself be the entirety of who you are.

3. My favourite memory would be during her second tour when I saw her in LA! I had seen her a couple times on the first tour in the north, but then I moved! When I saw her in LA, she remembered me, and talked with me and it was such a nice feeling to know someone I hold very dear to my heart can spend the time to recognise and acknowledge me

Anyjah (twitter: @ANyjahh_)

1. Literally the entire album is one I hold so close to my heart. There’s about three lyrics from three different songs that come to mind as a favorite. The first is “sail on”. It’s such a short phrase but the song is literally one of my favorites still on repeat to this day. Every time I think about the phrase it reminds me of being somewhere deep in the middle of the ocean without any worries, sailing on. 

The second would be “Child of Neptune I’m the daughter of the Sun” from New Constellations. That is such a powerful lyric to me. When I think about that it boosts my self-esteem. Like imagine telling someone you’re the daughter of the sun. So powerful.

The third and last is “even if you stay or if you go” from Here Is Home. I got that tattooed on my collarbone. That song brings me such peace. People come and go. It reminds me of that saying if you love something or someone, and you set it free, and they come back, then it’s meant to be. 

2. For me, being a fool means to be naive or played, but people have made it sound so negative and condescending. We’re all fools at one point. I think it’s like a learning experience while you’re young. It’s not all bad. 

3. I honestly loved when she released Reasons Not To Die to the world. Not only did she get to see that I loved that song because she talked about being afraid of releasing music, but I feel like it was such an empowering moment for her in her life and I was so in awe. 

4. For me, I see The Fool as a growing experience, and it’s just something that brings me back to my very own youth/how I’ve grown myself. 

5. Music has helped me to create and feel relatable. I love that no matter what you’re feeling or going through, there’s always a song out there you can listen to and realize someone else may have gone through the same thing as you. Music also helps me to create through writing. I can take the story of a song and turn it into my own that way.

Mariana (twitter: @Marispiva)

1. My favorite song from The Fool is “Traveling Song” because I went through a similar experience as Ryn but with my grandma and that song helped me get out of the deep depression I went through after she passed away.

2. Being a fool to me means learning from your mistakes in order to reach the top of the mountain. Bringing new beginnings into your life and going on a journey, not knowing what to expect. I look at the positive side rather than the negative side.

3. My favorite memory was when I flew to NYC for the Steve Madden show. It was my first time traveling outside of Chicago and I needed to meet her since I wasn’t able to after the Chicago show for the Misfits Toys Tour. Also, tweeting her to get her Big Mac ass outside so I could meet her lmao.

4. I feel like The Fool as a whole is for misfits like me. High school was the hardest part of my life and it wasn’t easy to fit in, especially transferring to a new school twice. People always looked at me differently and never accepted me, so when Ryn released The Fool, I felt a connection and it helped me shape myself as a person. I didn’t care what other people thought about me and always stayed true to myself.

5. Music has helped me in SO many ways! Music is my escape from reality and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for music. It’s the only thing that keeps me mentally stable so it has helped me battle my demons. Music is my therapy.

Jade (twitter: @FoolRyn)

1. My Favorite song from the record is New Constellations. English is only my second language, so when I got the album, and heard it for the first time, I had to look up what Constellations meant. Little did I know, she was singing about my absolute favorite thing in the world. My favorite lyrics have to be the first line of that song. No matter how many times I listen to it, I still close my eyes and imagine living every word. It makes me feel at bliss.

2. To be a Fool is to be a wanderer, not just physically but spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.

3. One of my earliest memories and my favorite ones is interacting with Ryn on twitter and just enjoying memes. 

4. For me, her music got better and better with each time listening to them. Even now 5 years later, I find the slightest of things in the production or the range of her voice. It’s absolutely fascinating!

5. Music helped me with a lot of things, from trouble at home to mental wellness. Without music, I wouldn’t even be sure I'd be alive.

That’s all! This project is what you get when a double Aquarius and a Leo moon come together. Thank you to everybody who participated, either through text or video, and thank you to Ryn for gifting us with such beautiful music!

#BLM Petition Links:

https://signatures.carrd.com

https://blacklivesmatter.com/petitions/

https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

Books about Race:

https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/race

[mightbedamian]

#TMIishTuesday #61 - Laune der Natur

Hey,  First off: 64 % turnout in the election in the German state of Schleswig-Holstein. Well done, Northerns! Also: Shame that the AfD made it into parliament, but at least they "only" got 5.9 %. Second: Well done, France, too! Even though Emmanuel Macron has his questionable thoughts, I 100 % prefer him over Ms. LePen. Let's see what France will look like with him in the driving seat. On my personal life: I don't remember, if I told you that I am doing an English language exam to get written proof of my skills. It's on level C1 of the European CERT framework. Well, for the written part that I did in April, I scored… erm… 93 %!? I still don't get how, but you know… Not gonna complain… :D Oral exam this Thursday. Technically I have passed the entire thing already, but I'll try to keep the total score over the 90 % mark. Just for fun. :D On my internet life: I discovered more of the wonderful work of German YouTuber skate702. I had watched his Minecraft Sky and vlogging videos already - and really liked it. And in the last week of April I gave his Watch Dogs 2 videos a chance, too. Didn't have a clue about the game, but digging the story! The main character is a hacker, trying to help humankind in rather dubious ways. It's really fun to watch - especially when you have an IT graduate like skate playing and commenting. Apparently, the story is not too far off the reality. Anyway, if you want to check his videos, click right here. On with what we are here for: Music. Dropped last Friday. Bibi's new song. Hahaha. No! I haven't even listened to it. I've read two trillion comments about it. Not a single one was positive. That told me I didn't need to listen to it. Especially, when my favorite band dropped their new album the same day (and the Drama Help Line aka. DHL actually delivered it on time for once). Hey there mighty people of the internet! And welcome to issue #61 of #TMIishTuesday - my weekly Tumblr post about what goes through my weird mind and on what you guys want to know more about. It can be something very personal, it can be something political, it can be completely pointless - but in 99.9 % of the cases, it involves opinions. And mine as well. // Last week I discussed why it is important to make use your voting power. How it helps the democracy we live in. And what might happen, if we don't use it. Check it out, if you haven't. Especially, if you are among those, who may vote in the election in North Rhine-Westphalia upcoming Sunday. // Okay, I still haven't told you what exactly you can expect from this post. A little bit of an review of the new album of Die Toten Hosen, Laune der Natur. And I will try to not make any comments on the Bibi song that was released the same day. I promise. I'll go one by one - song by song - and then give an overall rating for the album, okay? 1. Urknall ("Big Bang") Very strong beginning. First thing of the first song of the album: counting 1-2-3-4 and a piece with loads of rock-y guitar riffs and drums. Me gusta! The song starts by saying "the manager is dead" - which is true. The guy who discovered the band back in 1982 and became their manager, Jochen Hülder, died of stomach cancer two years ago. For the rest the song describes the clash between what band life was like in the beginning and what it could be like now they are famous: They want to go back to the big bang, the beginning. Sound: 8/10 Lyrics: 8/10 Total: 8/10 2. Alles mit nach Hause ("Everything home with me") A softer song to follow the bang-y beginning. Dominant drum beat - rather soft guitars. To be honest: Not the most special beat, quite pop, not too much rock - despite a little reluctant guitar solo. Content: Reflecting on where his career has brought lead singer Campino: Rome, Ibiza, Paris, Mexico, Buenos Aires, Liverpool - but it still feels like he is not satisfied. He takes everything home with him, but it still sounds not too happy when he talks about his "prey". It's a dilemma. Sound: 7/10 Lyrics: 6/10 Total: 6/10 3. Wannsee ("Wannsee") A song I don't know what to think of. Really, really, REALLY catchy chorus ("Wannsee, Wannsee, wann seh ich dich endlich wieder?"), but the music really doesn't convince me… Little too slow, little too much of a "let's make this sound strange". Little too… idk! The music is not my thing. Plus I've never been a fan of the Wannsee. The song describes the life in the Wannsee area, a rather rich suburb of Berlin and how they want to go there again - but at the same time miss their hometown, Dusseldorf. This might also be considered a homage to another German band, Die Ärzte. They wrote a song called Westerland which starts by "Jeden Tag sitz ich am Wannsee". While the Berlin band wishes to be at the North Sea coast (the island of Sylt), the one from Dusseldorf wants to be in Berlin - at the Wannsee. Sound: 3/10 Lyrics: 5/10 Total: 4/10 4. Unter den Wolken ("Below the clouds") The single released a few weeks before the album. Was not too excited about it when I first heard it in April. But the more I listen to it, the more I like it. Soft rock, if you want so. Lead guitar quite melodic, strong drum beat, louder chorus. Lyrics: Very cool! A homage to Reinhard Mey's Über den Wolken ("Above the clouds"). Mey sang about how cool it must be to fly over above the clouds and how that should be the goal of everyone: Reaching for freedom. Now Die Toten Hosen turn it around: They still strive for freedom, but you can't get on any planes cause they are grounded by the weather. Instead, we should try to build our own freedom down here. Fight for it. Really thought through, I like! Sound: 7/10 Lyrics: 9/10 Total: 8/10 5. Pop & Politik ("Pop & Politics") "Do you really think it's good to mix those things? Your naïve thoughts to pop and politics" - the first two lines of the song say what the song is about: People have told the band (and other punk bands,  too) that they shouldn't comment on the topics of pop and politics. The song is kind of a throwback to the 80s and 90s when the punk scene (including Die Toten Hosen) went for a totally different approach than their parents and the politicians in power. Everything described in this song ("shut your mouths!", "who needs your embarrassing songs?") actually was what the situation looked like. But the band - and the punk scene - kept going and told them off. Awesome lyrics! Music: The drum beat is ace, the background "oh-oh-oh"s are great, the guitars are on point. This is what perfection looks like! Sound: 10/10 Lyrics: 10/10 Total: 10/10 6. Laune der Natur ("Nature's Mood") A beat resembling folk songs. Very slow again. Not really my kinda beat. The lyrics are good though. About how both nature and other people are steered by a few who think they are God - and beyond. The album is named after this song. Not much more to say about it. Sound: 4/10 Lyrics: 8/10 Total: 6/10 7. Energie ("Energy") The beginning of the song resembles Bibi's song for once. "Papapapapapa" and so on. But the difference is: With "Energie", you get a guitar riff that can compete with any other rock song. With Bibi's song… Okay, let's keep that out of here… Like that beat of Energie a lot! And you get that tiny bit of a guitar solo at the end. Lyrics: Very simple, very short. "Where does all this energy come from all of a sudden?" Sound: 9/10 Lyrics: 5/10 Total: 7/10 8. Alles passiert ("Everything happens") Very thoughtful sound. Acoustic guitar, calm voice. Drum later on, but on a small scale. Lyrics: A typical relationship drama - break-up mood - the understanding that "everything happens like it has to" - love is gone - staying friends wouldn't work - sadness about the break-up. Sound: 7/10 Lyrics: 6/10 Total: 6/10 9. Die Schöne und das Biest ("Beauty and the Beast") The setting: Guy laying on bed, bleeding out of the belly. Lady laying next to him, holding a gun. While he's passing away, he reflects on their relationship - and his failure. Music-wise: Good one. Guitar intro that reminds me of the old Western-themed movies. Drums, some thoughtful piano jingling along at the important parts. A clear cut towards the chorus. Nice. Sound: 8/10 Lyrics: 8/10 Total: 8/10 10. Eine Handvoll Erde ("A handful of dirt") Very thoughtful intro. Just a guitar being picked. Sounds like time is running out. Then the singing starts in low volume. For the chorus the full band joins in: Second guitar, bass, drums. Then back to only picking for the second verse. Then a piano filled musical sequence, then silence. Awesome sound design! And fitting the lyrics as well: The song describes the funeral of someone close and how their coffin is carried towards their grave. Thoughts about what should have been said before the passing-away and life after. The band dedicated this song to their manager, who passed away (the one mentioned in the first song: Urknall). What can I say? If there ever is a right way to say goodbye, this feels really right to me. Love this song! Sound: 10/10 Lyrics: 10/10 Total: 10/10 11. Wie viele Jahre (Hasta la muerte) ("How many years - to death") Big change from the last song! Rocking guitar riff to start with, heavy drum joining in, lyrics sang with a rather loud voice. Great composition! The song describes the changes the band has been through over the more than 30 years of their existence. It satirically compares three birthdays of their guitarist, Breiti: His 20th, his 40th and one of his recent ones. From very limited money to more money and the thrive to make the most of it and the realisation that exaggeration is not the way to go. This is illustrated by the setting of the parties and the gifts Breiti receives from his fellow band members: - location: from the band's run-down rehearsal room to a rather noble hotel room - gifts: two crates of the regional beer and a tiny bottle of liquor; two crates of champagne and a tiny bottle of liquor; and finally for his last one: two crates of organic snack bars - Breiti's body doesn't tolerate anything else! Really, really fun way of telling the story of the changes that have happened over the years! And probably 100 % true as well. Sound: 10/10 Lyrics: 15/10 Total: 13/10 Oops. 12. ICE nach Düsseldorf ("Intercity Express to Dusseldorf") Drum beat and a clanging guitar open that seems to not be 100 % on the beat. Cool! Lyrics: Wow! Who thought of this? :D They are rather pointless, but they 100 % fit the vibe the band sets: Everything Dusseldorf! It's their hometown and most of them still live there and love the city to pieces. The last concert of every tour they do, HAS to be "at home". And 30 years after their first concert - played beneath a bridge - they fill the giant Esprit Arena, to play in front of a mere 20k people. Anyway, back to the lyrics: The last wish of the singer is quite simple: Send his coffin with the Intercity Express - the fastest train in Germany - to Dusseldorf. But please give him his well-deserved window seat! Oh, and the last line tells us: He wants you to dodge his fare - again. Sound: 10/10 Lyrics: 10/10 Total: 10/10 13. Geisterhaus ("Haunted House") The picking guitar guy is back! And so is the soft voice of Campino. Description of the empty, abandoned house. The beat picks up for the chorus: How the house used to be. Explained very quickly, in just two lines. Back to soft sound for the next verse, then slowly picking up for a more extended chorus, describing how there once was hope for a love story. But it's gone. Break. Music picks up drastically for little instrumental intermezzo, before a last chorus gives us hope again - and leaves us with it. Great composition! Sound: 8/10 Lyrics: 8/10 Total: 9/10 14. Lass los ("Let go") Fast guitar sound, fast vocals, fast drums. Sound picking up more and more towards the chorus. Lyrics: Letting go. Wow, who would have expected, right? A story of a broken love. And how both of them can't let go. A theme that Campino likes a lot, it seems. It is present on pretty much every album of the band with one or a few songs. Promise in this case: Let us love each other one last time, before we end this in friendship. Even though we know it won't work. Sound: 9/10 Lyrics: 6/10 Total: 8/10 15. Kein Grund zur Traurigkeit ("No reason to be sad") Very interesting song. Cause it was not written by any of the band members. It's former drummer Wölli, who composed it. Wölli passed away from kidney cancer a year ago. He sings the song as well. The band retrieved his voice track from the original song and put their own instrumentals in it, along with Campino singing the chorus. The song is about desire and that it should be the reason for sadness. Sung by Wölli with his rough voice over the gentle sounds of an accompanying guitar, it makes for a great composition and is an awesome way for the band to say goodbye to Wölli who played the drums in the band from 1986 to 1999. He was part of the composition of songs such as Hier kommt Alex, Sascha… ein aufrechter Deutscher, Wünsch dir was, Nichts bleibt für die Ewigkeit, Paradies, Bonnie & Clyde, 10 kleine Jägermeister. Sound: 5/10 Lyrics: 6/10 Total: 5/10 How do I end this now? With an overall rating? Hard to do! But I'll try anyway. A solid album with a lot of serious songs. The we-only-care-about-fun songs from the 80s and the first half of the 90s are long gone, more thoughtful songs is the way to go for the band. And it works. Ageing, politics, dealing with the passing-away of two loved ones (manager and former drummer) - difficult topics. Still, there's enough room for the fun songs. Musically, the rock parts are there. However, compared to earlier albums (also the last album, Ballast der Republik, released 2012), it's not as present. It sounds much softer, going towards mainstream pop for some songs even. Look at Unter den Wolken, which was released as a single already, look at Wannsee, look at Laune der Natur. That's your perfect WDR2 radio song. And that's something I don't quite like. Yes, I LOVE it when my favorite artists are played on the radio. But there's just too much of a turn-around to fit in more. To be more mainstream-successful. That's my impression, at least. I miss the early 2000s when there still was mainly rock on the band's albums (Auswärtsspiel and Zurück zum Glück). Nonetheless, there are a lot of songs, I really like. Especially the funny ones toward the end of the album (Wie viele Jahre, ICE nach Düsseldorf), but also the more thoughtful Eine Handvoll Erde and Pop & Politik. Three favorite songs, you say? Difficult! But, okay, I'll try: 1. Wie viele Jahre (Hasta la muerte) 2. Pop & Politik 3. Handvoll Erde TL;DR: Sorry, I can't summarise this! You have to read it all! :P If you're interested in getting the album, click this. Oh, and remember to vote on Sunday! Now let me know what you think of Die Toten Hosen? Do you know the band? And if so, what do you think about the album (or the Unter den Wolken single, if you don't have the album)? Place a comment, tweet me, dm me, or do anything else you can think of to get to me. Queer Shoutout you say? It's time for a simple tweet again. A tweet which is basically a little piece of a newspaper, a birth announcement. And it's the single cutest and most beautiful thing I've ever seen! The parents of this guy are ACE! I'm not gonna spoil anything. It's too good to spoil. But that much: It's queer. Check it! As always: Next #TMIishTuesday next Tuesday. If you have any questions in the meantime, just ask away. Whatever you’re curious about - I don’t bite. :) Until then: Stay mighty! Linkage: - skate702: youtube.com/skate702 - Philipp Oehmke: Zum Tod Jochen Hülders: Der Mann, der die Hosen groß machte: http://www.spiegel.de/kultur/musik/die-toten-hosen-manager-jochen-huelder-gestorben-a-1013276.html - Get the album: https://smile.amazon.de/dp/B06XJ85SZJ - Queer Shoutout: https://twitter.com/Lamptopus/status/859870117626347520

Oh, and here’s some self-promo: - Last #TMIishTuesday: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/post/160235699317/tmiishtuesday-60-make-a-democracy-a-democracy - All #TMIishTuesdays: mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/tmi - More #TMIishTuesdays on music topics: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/music  - More very cool stuff: www.twitter.com/mightbedamian - Even more very cool stuff: mightbedamian.tumblr.com