#i could never. i was visiting my hometown every week for like the first year i lived here

[perilegs]

being homesick and changing as a person so much the place you grew up in isn't your home anymore is such a core part of ati and upon further inspection i think i was projecting a little

[pedal-writes]

Homesick (1)

Summary: What happens when Sam Witwicky's older sister, you, gets wrapped up with the conflict of the autobots and the decepticons coincidentally by visiting your family? Over time, it seems that you and the autobot's leader find out you two have more in common than you initially thought… But it doesn't really mean anything, right?

A/N: Hi everyone! This is gonna be my first actual long fanfic which I'm pretty nervous about (since I always seem to backtrack on the ones I try to write.)

But I recently watched Transformers 2007 and the brainrot is honestly too intense, I had to do something about it so bayverse OP x reader!! It's funny, I've been a transformers fan since 2017 and I've now just got around to watching the movie. I was kinda putting it off since it's not exactly a fan fav among some transformers fans haha. Oh yeah, there are a few scenes from the movie I won't write like the weird bumblebee piss scene and some of the mildly suggestive dialogue considering the other two main characters (besides the reader) are literally like 16 😭. Micheal bay is a freak!!!

Just a heads up, I guess I'm going for a more wattpad-y vibe for this fic considering some of the tropes that I'm using and the fact I'm going directly off of the tf 2007 movie (cause that's like every bayverse op x reader that's on there lolz). Idk Ig I just have a guilty pleasure for corny fics so yeah!!

If y'all want to read this on ao3 or Wattpad, it's in my pinned post :3 Anyways, bye pookies!!

As the moon's reflected light illuminated the dark room, it was quiet besides the occasional shuffling and jolting that came from your sleeping form. Suddenly your eyes shot open. You groaned as you sat up and felt a layer of cold sweat coating your forehead. You shakily got up from the bed and began a walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water. A small creak came from the cabinet and you grabbed a small glass and filled it with tap water, taking a few gulps. After four long years of college, you decided to move away from your hometown and all the way across the country to the east coast. Los Angeles was never your type of city as, in your opinion, it was mainly set up for movie stars and aspiring musicians, not computer scientists. So moving to a completely different city like Philadelphia to pursue your passion sounded like a fantastic idea. But now that you’re here, you’ve felt nothing but homesick.

You’ve always been a family-orientated person, always spending time with your parents and helping Sam, your little brother, with what he needed for school. Although he could be a serious little shit sometimes, the two of you were like peas in a pod, absolute besties! A small smile grows across your face as you think of the times you picked him up from school and took him to the arcade or when you always managed to find tickets to his favorite bands and saw them during the weekends.

A small sigh leaves your lips and you set down your glass on the counter. You walk back into your bedroom and take a look at the calendar hanging on the wall, the month being March. The thought of visiting your family crossed your mind and you could wait a few more months until summer came around but it’s not like you were working at the moment. After you moved, you were working a job as an information security analyst. The pay was definitely above average and it was going alright until an unsavory incident happened with a coworker and you literally couldn’t work there, so you quit.

Alright, I have enough money in my bank account to buy a plane ticket and to sustain me for a few weeks while I’m there. I should probably call mom in the morning and tell her I’m planning on visiting, her and dad will probably be ecstatic. As for Sam…

You opened a drawer on your nightstand and pulled out a piece of jewelry. It was an opal bead necklace you found at the mall one day. It was sort of an impulsive purchase, considering the price, but you thought it would be a nice gift for your little brother because opal was his birthstone after all. You gently placed the necklace back in the drawer and shut it, making your way back to your calendar and writing a few reminders on some of the upcoming days. 

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After all the planning and flying, you were finally back in California. It really was a pain since there somehow weren't any available flights to Los Angeles from Philadelphia so you had to spend the night in an empty airport in Kansas and fly to L.A. in the morning. A yawn falls from your lips as you drive through the familiar neighborhoods leading up to your family's home. You turn on the radio and the latest hit began to play, “Irreplaceable” by Beyonce you thought. It wasn’t really your type of music but it’s Beyonce.

A few minutes passed and you heard your phone ringing. You turned down the radio and grabbed it from the passenger seat, flipping it open and putting it against your ear. “Hello?”

‘Hi honey.’ It was your mom. ‘How far out are you?’

“Oh hi mom. I’m not that far, just give me a few more minutes. You don’t have to call me when you know I'll be there eventually.” You chuckled, gently pressing the brakes as you stopped at a red light.

‘I know, I’m just excited to see you!’ Her voice buzzed excitedly. ‘I’ll be waiting outside for you, see you in a bit.’

“See you in a bit.”

A few moments later the familiar layout of your house came into view and you couldn't help but feel a bit giddy. You saw your mom, Judy, excitedly waving next to the frontdoor, you smiled to yourself. You pulled your car into the driveway and got out of it, Judy pulling you into a tight hug, swaying you from side to side slightly. "I'm so happy to see you, honey!" 

She said sweetly, pulling away while holding both of your hands. "How’s my little genius been?"

Your smile turned into a small frown. "Oh I've been doing... alright for the most part. I had to quit my job recently because of a bad experience I had with a coworker. I’ll tell you about it later but it really sucks, I liked that job." You grimaced slightly at the memories of the not-very-pleasant experience, Judy patting your back in a comforting manner. "Anyway, say, where's dad?" You abruptly changed the subject.

"Oh, your father had to run some errands, but he'll be back soon. He's been so hellbent on making his grass perfect. I think he's starting to go a bit crazy." She said, doing a swirly motion around the side of her head.

You chuckle as you walk back over to your car to retrieve your bag and suitcase. You and Judy walk into the house, an excited mojo greeting you by jumping up and down in that typical chihuahua fashion. "Aw, hi mojo." You cooed, leaning down and petting him near his ears. "I missed you too." Your eyes drifted down to his coller, seeing the jewelry wrapped around his neck.

“Is this your doing, mom?” You laughed.

Judy simply shrugged. “I think it looks cute on him. Oh yeah, Sam's upstairs doing his whole eBay thing, I'm sure he'll tell you all about it when you talk to him." Judy said, walking towards the kitchen and preheating the oven. "Do you need help with your bags?"

"No I'm alright mom, thanks though." You say, walking towards the staircase with your bags in hand.

"Alright honey, make sure to tell Sam I'm making lunch."

"Will do!" You holler from upstairs.

You head towards the rather empty room that used to be yours and set your things down, looking around at the empty walls where posters used to hang and the still neat bed, feeling a little nostalgic. You exit your room and head right to Sam's, ignoring the do not enter sign and opening the door. You see your brother’s hunched over figure messing around on his computer and shake your head, knocking on the door frame to alert him of your presence. Sam jumped, turning around suddenly. "Jesus! You scared the shit outta me. I didn't know you were here yet."

"I can't believe you didn't hear me. Come here, give me a hug dude." You said, spreading your arms in an inviting motion. Sam rolled his eyes and walked over and hugged you. You gave him a small pat on the back and pulled away from him, giving him a small grin. "So how are things? How's school?" You asked.

"It's good, pretty good. I've been trying to get this whole eBay thing running. Oh yeah, and dad made a deal with me and soon I’ll have my own car. I just gotta get an A on this history project coming up." Sam replied, turning around and typing a few more things into his laptop before closing it.

“Wow, that’s awfully generous of him. I’m excited for you though.” You chuckled, leaning against his door frame and crossing your arms. "Anything new with that one girl… What was her name?"

"You mean Mikaela?”

“Yeah Mikaela, The girl you’ve liked since forever and is totally not out of your league.” You said sarcastically.

"What??" Sam exclaimed, whipping his head towards you. "She is not out of my league! She is really gorgeous and stunning in every single way, and she would totally give me a chance. I just gotta… ask her.”

"And when will that be, Casanova?" You laughed.

"Soon! Really really soon. When I get this car next week, and I will get that A, then I’ll have a chance! Any girl loves a guy with a nice car." Sam said, a cocky tone in his voice. 

"Oookay, I hear you... oh yeah! Hold on, I got something for you, give me a second..." You walked into your room and rummaged through your purse, pulling out the necklace. You walk back into Sam’s room and excitedly give him the piece of jewelry. “I found it while I was shopping at the local mall a few months ago. Since Opal is your birthstone, I thought you’d like it. And it’s also not a super girly necklace, you’re welcome by the way.”

Sam took the necklace from your hands and admired the carefully strung together beads in the sunlight of his window, the beads glimmering a variety of colors. “Wow this is really neat. Thank you but y’know, I'm not really much of a jewelry guy." Sam said a bit nervously.

"Oh come on, wear it!" You pat him on the back reassuringly. "Girls love guys who are comfortable with their sexuality, it shows maturity. Besides, you'll look like one of those... surfer guys. You know what I mean? When they wear those small necklaces.”

Sam frowned and gestured to himself. "Do I look like a surfer guy?"

"I’m just trying to be supportive!" You said, making your way out of the room. "By the way, mom's making lunch. Make sure not to get too engrossed in your master plan of getting with Mikaela and actually put some meat on those bones." You commented teasingly.

Sam groaned and waved you off dismissively, sitting down at his desk again. You chuckle and walk into your room, crouching down and pulling a few essentials out of your suitcase. Now that you’re back in Cali, you were excited to see a few of your friends that you’ve been friends with since high-school. Funnily enough, you managed to become friends with the “popular girls” solely because you helped a few of them with their math and science work and now they deemed you besties for life.

Which you didn’t mind honestly.

Most of these girls were rich and actually really nice despite what people stereotype “popular girls” to be. The person that comes to mind is your friend Felicity. She’s probably the one you would call your “top tier bestie”, the girl that constantly came over to your house when you were a teenager (annoying your brother immensely), the girl that called you like every single day you were away to college since you two went to different ones. She was super duper excited when you called her, telling her how you were gonna be in town for a few weeks.

Of course she had plans for you two to go to the spa and then go to the beach and blah blah blah. It would be nice to get out of the house every once in a while to catch up since Sam's gonna be in school most of the time. You put your laptop down on your bed and was about to sit down before you heard your mom yell for you from the kitchen.

“Hey sweetie, can you come down and help me?”

“Oh– Coming Mom!” You quickly got up and left your room, heading downstairs. You couldn’t help but look forward to the next few upcoming weeks, knowing it’ll be the most eventful and actually fun thing you’ve done in months. 

[bettyfrommars]

Everlong

part 1: hello, I've waited here for you

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

18+Only, smut, older!eddie, older!steve, unprotected anal sex, first time experience, oral m/m, anal play, rimming, fingering, no Vecna, deep feelings, mention of porn and of an orgy, creampie, but it's also very fluffy, Eddie has had a crush on his best friend for a long time. wc: 5.9k

It's the mid-late 90's in Hawkins, Eddie and Steve are both in their 30's, and have recently moved back after several life upsets. Eddie has his own trailer across town, and that is where he offers to let Steve stay for a week, and old feelings resurface.

author's note: There will be 2 parts to this. I fully intended to work on something Halloween themed, but then the inspiration for this happened. Just goes to show how my mind doesn't like to be told what to do.

"If everything could ever be this real forever If anything could ever be this good again The only thing I'll ever ask of you You've got to promise not to stop when I say when..."

-- Everlong, Foo Fighters

Steve’s week-long stay with Eddie was half over, and Eddie felt that reality sink his heart as he opened the door to his trailer.

“Honey, I’m home,” he announced with a spring in his step.

He lived in a trailer park across town now, it was double wide, and felt like a luxury after all of those years he spent crowding in with Wayne.  He missed the old man though and went over to Forest Hills every couple of days to visit. 

He never thought he’d be back in Hawkins a decade after high school, but he’d dropped everything to move to Indianapolis for a girl he was seeing, and then got his heart shattered a year later. 

Coming back to his hometown felt a bit like failure, but it also felt safe. He still had good friends there, and he didn’t want to be alone anymore.  Working as a welder at the local fabrication shop was not his dream job, but it paid the bills, and he was comfortable. He even got to play a show with his old band every now and then.  

He put the Chinese take out on the island between the kitchen and the living room and called Steve’s name again.  But then he caught sight of the piece of paper on the coffee table:

 “Went for a run. BRB.”

The note made Eddie grin and feel all goofy, like somehow that small courtesy was such a huge act of love.  He hadn’t been treated very well by his partners over the years, and that revelation stung him in moments like that.

Steve had also done the dishes, and the living room was spotless and organized.  The ashtray on the coffee table had been dumped out and cleaned, all of the Guitar World magazines stacked neatly.  When he opened the fridge to grab a beer, he found that they were all lined up in a row.  Eddie kept telling him he didn’t have to do any of that, but Steve said that if he didn’t stay busy, he’d go crazy, and Eddie respected it.  

Steve Harrington and Eddie had remained best friends, even through the years and the distance and the failed relationships.  It just so happened that Steve was at the tail end of a very messy divorce, and needed a place to crash now that he was back from Chicago.  His ex-wife had managed to take him for every penny he had, so Eddie was quick to offer his place after he joked about having to sleep in his car (it wasn’t a joke).

Eddie played the message blinking on his machine to find that it was from Robin.  She’d also moved back to Hawkins recently, but she worked 50 hours a week, had two roommates, and was dating a woman from another town, so they didn’t get to see each other as much as they’d like.  The three of them had a bowling date set for that coming weekend, and it gave Eddie the warm fuzzies to think about them all being back together again.

Eddie was in the shower with his dick in his hand, stroking it, when Steve burst in.  “Hey man,” the intruder grabbed something from the medicine cabinet, and then braced his hands on 

the sink before splashing some water on his face. “God damn, I am out of shape.  That was rough.”  Steve coughed a few times and then wiped his face on the nearby towel.

He couldn’t see Eddie through the dark blue curtain, but had he heard him? There was a possibility that Eddie had been talking to himself, thinking about Steve, and grunting a little as he got himself hard.

“Food smells good,” Steve added as he walked back out into the hall, but left the door wide open. “I’m starving.”

Nah, he hadn’t heard anything.

“I got those weird noodles you like,” Eddie shouted over the sound of the shower.  “And sweet and sour chicken.”  Steve didn’t have to tell Eddie what he wanted from the restaurant down the street; Eddie always paid attention to those things.  

“Hey, leave me some hot water,” Steve was in the doorway again.  “Or should I just get in there with you? Save some resources?” 

“Not unless you want to soap my balls, Harrington,” and then Eddie threw his fist against the curtain.  “Get out, and shut the fucking door, you creep.”

—-------

After dinner and a beer on the porch, the boys retired to their respective positions on the couch while Eddie rolled a joint.  The movie Ghostbusters was on TV, but it was interrupted by a string of commercials, and Steve tucked his foot under him on the opposite end of the couch while he watched Eddie lick the paper.

“Okay if I have a drag?” Steve asked, resting his cheek on his knuckles.

Eddie snapped a look at him and raised his eyebrows.  “Oh, hell yes.  You think you can handle it?” The metalhead sat back, rolling the piece between his fingers, and then he wet one end and grabbed his lighter.  

“I can handle whatever you can handle, Munson.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that, Harrington,” Eddie smirked and took a stiff inhale before passing it to his friend.  

Steve’s ex-wife had insisted on a very straight-edge lifestyle, and he hadn’t had a whiff of weed in almost 3 years, so he took a cautious pull.

And then he coughed, and banged his chest, and spittle flew from his wet lips. 

“Damn, alright,” Eddie hummed.  “I take it back, you are a badass.”

“Shit,” Steve could feel the drug seeping into his bloodstream and his senses.  “Feels good. Feels kinda…tingly.”

“Ahh if only to have your tolerance again,” Eddie mused, taking another long drag. The show came back on, and the Ghostbusters were checking out the slime and stacks of books in the library.  

They watched a few minutes of the movie while Eddie continued to smoke.  He offered it to Steve again, but he passed.  

“Hey, do you remember that one time we watched a porno together?” Steve just blurted it out from nowhere, completely unprompted.

Still, Eddie knew exactly which porn he was talking about, and the exact night that it happened.

“I think so,” Eddie tapped his ash out. “Maybe.  Were we at my old place?”

“Yeah,” Steve nodded, keeping his eyes on the screen.  “It was the summer you graduated, and Wayne was at work and you were like ‘hey Steve, wanna watch some vampire ass fucking?”

Eddie scoffed.  “Shut up, that is not what I said.”

“Well,” Steve was clearly exaggerating, chuckling to himself.  “That’s what they were doing.”

The movie was called, “Bloodsucking Orgy” and it was a bisexual vampire porn.  But the actors were wearing fake, plastic teeth, and the cheap makeup dripped off of their faces as they fucked, but it was some of the hottest shit Eddie had ever seen at the time.  

What Steve didn’t tell him was that he had to pull over to jerk off in his car that night, not only thinking about the raw breeding on film, but the way Eddie had palmed himself over his jeans, clearly aroused.  That was the first night, all those years ago, when Steve had first questioned his sexuality.  

“I had that vhs with me for a long time,” Eddie held in a tight breath and then released a large plume of smoke. “It was under my bed in a box for years, but I think my ex took it.”

“Trevor?” Steve asked, thinking of the last boyfriend that Eddie had introduced to him that he didn’t like.  Come to think of it, he hadn’t approved of any guy or girl Eddie had dated in a long while; In Steve’s mind, no one was good enough for his best friend.  

“Nah,” Eddie lowered his chin, shyly.  “I only dated him for like, a week. It was barely a handjob.  I’m talking about Jake, the one with the mohawk.”

“The guy who juggled bowling pins at the fair?” Steve rolled his eyes.  “I swear, you know how to pick them, Munson.”

Eddie squinted across the couch at his friend as another commercial came on.  Maybe the weed was a little stronger that night but, was Steve…jealous?

Steve stole a long glance at Eddie when he got up to use the bathroom, taking in the curve of his muscles under the thin white Hanes of his t-shirt and the arc of his resting cock under his sweats.  

They watched a bit more of the movie, speaking the lines to the parts they knew by heart. 

“I’m going to miss this when you go,” Eddie muttered.

Steve’s apartment would be ready by Monday, and Eddie was dreading the lonely nights when Steve wasn’t there on the couch with him.  

“I’ll be just down the road, man,” Steve assured, taking a sip of his beer.  “I thought you’d be glad to get me out of your hair, so you could get back to your bachelor pad life.”

Eddie figured Steve was just confused, so he decided to jog his memory.  “I haven’t so much as gone on a date with anyone in almost a year.  This is hardly a rockin’ bachelor pad.”

For some reason, this gave Steve a sense of relief.

Ghostbusters ended and Eddie told Steve to wait right where he was, as if he’d go anywhere, since the couch was also his bed.  

When Eddie sauntered back from the dark hallway, he was carrying two black, clamshell vhs covers.  They were blank on the outside, with no words on the spine, and Steve knew exactly what they were, even from far away.

“Let me guess,” he raised his eyebrow.  “Bloodsucking Orgy Part 2?”

Eddie chuckled. “Close! No, but they are just as bad.”

Steve adjusted himself in a way that made Eddie look over his shoulder as he put the tape in the vcr.  “You okay with this? I figured…for old time’s sake?”

“Sure, yeah, why not?” Steve ran his fingers through his hair a few times and adjusted the collar of his tee because suddenly he felt very hot. 

To say that Eddie was testing Steve would be wrong.  Eddie had no idea that the events in Bloodsucking Orgy had been a bit of a sexual awakening for his friend.  

The actions in the movie would turn Eddie on, sure, but he could control himself for a few minutes if it meant being able to get a laugh at the way Steve’s face twisted up at the ridiculousness of it all.

The credits came on to let you know that this was a “Two Dicks, One Hole Production” and the boys clapped.

There was about 3 minutes of what you’d call “plot” where a bunch of zombies stormed inside this woman’s house while she was having a tupperware party, and then they were suddenly all compelled to have sex.

“Look out, Scorsese,” Steve bubbled a laugh into the palm of his hand.  

Eddie clucked his tongue. “No one appreciates good cinema these days.”

One zombie had its head between a woman’s legs on the table while one of her friends squatted down on her face and rode her tongue.

Some of the husbands came by to rescue their wives, but then they ended up getting dicked down as well.  It was all purely entertaining at first, but all of a sudden, Steve felt his cock twitch.  He palmed himself over his boxers, and looked over to find that Eddie was doing the same thing.

Eddie glanced over and caught Steve staring at him while he touched himself and suddenly, he wasn’t at all interested in the movie anymore.

“Why does it--” Steve started, swallowing hard. "Why does it always look like it feels so good?"

“What?” Eddie rested his head on the back of the couch.  “Being attacked by a flesh-eating zombie?”

“No,” Steve nibbled at his lip.  “When they put it…in their ass…like that.  The dudes I mean.”

Eddie couldn’t even hear the sound from the tv anymore, his ears were ringing.  “Because it does feel good, sometimes, when the right cock is in your ass.”

Steve’s breath hitched at the tone of Eddie’s voice. “You like the feel of it, don’t you?”

Eddie couldn't help himself; he cupped his balls under the blanket. “Yeah, um, I do.”

“I’ve wondered about it,” Steve admitted in a whisper, sliding a hand down slowly to palm himself over his jeans.  He was getting hard and needed the friction. “I've wondered what it would feel like. I think I might like it.”

“You do?” Eddie’s voice was low.  

Was this really happening? Was Steve just shooting the shit? Or was he trying to throw clues down? If so, how should he handle it? He’d masturbated to this scenario so many times in his life but had no idea how he would make his move in real time.  

Steve hadn't planned this. He'd had thoughts about Eddie before, sure, but he never imagined he'd do anything about it while he was staying at his place. How embarrassing would it be if his friend rejected him? He had to play it cool so he could make it out like he was kidding if that happened.

With a surge of adrenaline, Steve scooted closer, and his friend met him in the middle of the couch.  

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Steve’s eyes searched the other pair of chocolate orbs, and they were so close now, Eddie’s pulse was skyrocketing.  “I don’t want this to make anything weird between us.”

“I’m fine with it if you are,” Eddie mumbled.  There was a voice in his head screaming at him not to miss his chance. He pinched the front of Steve’s shirt.  “We could experiment, if you want? What are best friends for?”

Eddie knew there was a platonic best friend line in the sand that was about to be crossed, and it could never be uncrossed, but the way Steve was looking at him with those puppy dog eyes made him not care one single goddamn bit.  

He’d do anything for Steve. Even if it meant he was just another “experimental experience” for a straight guy. 

Steve leaned in for a kiss, and as much as he wanted it, Eddie pulled his head back.

“Say it,” Eddie muttered.

Steve squeezed himself through his boxers and frowned, confused.  “Say what?”

Eddie moved in close again, brushing Steve’s lips with his.  “Tell me you want me to fuck you.”

Steve choked on the words at first, and then he told Eddie what he needed to hear.

Their mouths met in a frenzy of clumsy tongues and cries, and then they made their way to the bedroom, stripping clothes off as they went.  

It wasn’t long before Eddie was naked next to Steve on the bed, pushing a lubed finger inside him one knuckle at a time.  “Is that okay?” He kissed the corner of Steve’s mouth. His friend’s eyes were closed, but Eddie’s were wide open—he didn’t want to miss a thing.

“Yes—fuck,” Steve squirmed, but his hips were moving down, needing Eddie deeper.  He gripped Eddie’s back with one hand, and the other came up to fist his own length where it throbbed.

Eddie moved his head down, his hair dragging along his companion's chest. “Let me,” he mumbled.  Steve held it at the base so that the metalhead could take the swollen, leaking tip into his mouth. Now he was twirling his tongue around the head and fucking his finger inside of his best friend.  He savored the taste of the salty tang, making lewd noises as he sucked and swallowed.

Eddie’s mouth was magic, and Steve was hiccupping erotic sighs.  “Tell me again, why did we wait this long?” He chuckled, and Eddie smiled around the gift in his mouth, both of them caught in mutual disbelief and bliss.

“You feel that?” Eddie came up for air long enough to ask, pupils blown, rubbing deep onto Steve’s prostate with purpose.

“Yeah, I feel it,” Steve shuddered.  He bent his knees up and placed his feet on the mattress so that he could arch his pelvis up to give better access.  “I think...I think I need more,” he breathed.

Eddie chanced a look up at his friend: his head was back, throat exposed, and–oh shit— he loved seeing what he was doing to him.  The way that he was the one giving Steve Harrington this much pleasure, to be the one to make him unravel.  

The second finger went in, stretching him, and Steve’s muscle squeezed around Eddie’s digits so tight, it made his cock ache to take their place.  The phalange in question was tucked against Steve’s hip, aching, and he rutted it there a few times, leaving a snail trail of juice on his partner’s skin.

“Move this leg,” Eddie advised, and Steve licked his lips, watching every move, hoping to god that he did not stop fucking him.  He was switching positions now, getting in between Steve’s thighs.

Steve used the slick from Eddie’s saliva to work the tip of his cock a few times as his eyes roamed the wash of tattoos over his friend’s sinewy muscles, and the guitar pick necklace that swayed against his chest.  

“Does this feel okay?” Eddie buried the second finger in and scissored them to stretch out Steve’s hole, feeling the resistance throb in his own balls.

Steve winced with a hiss, and Eddie’s hand stilled, but then Steve’s eyes snapped open. “It feels so fucking good, don’t stop.” 

Eddie was quick to lower his head to take over the tending of Steve’s huge member, making his friend moan long and hard.

When he looked down at the top of Eddie’s head, and the way his arm moved in and out between his legs, listening to the soft, wet, sucking sounds, Steve started to have some real feelings.  They were feelings he was afraid to think, let alone say out loud.

“I-I need you inside of me, Eddie,” Steve managed.  “I need you to fuck me right now.”

Eddie rose up, staring into Steve’s eyes as he took his fingers out to put the head of his dripping cock against the slip of Steve’s hole, rubbing it up and down.  “Are you sure?” Eddie mumbled. “I’m not going to last long.”

“Me neither,” Steve blinked a few times, liking the way Eddie bit his bottom lip and searched his face.

Eddie’s heart was about to explode in his chest.  He imagined bits of his heart and cum sprayed everywhere when his strewn body parts were found the next morning.  

After a few moments of working the tip through and moaning at the way his hole sucked him in, Eddie leaned forward and pressed into Steve, spreading him open, letting him give a silent scream into his mouth. Eddie braced his partner’s hips, trembling at the sensation as he clenched around him.

Once he sank all the way in, Eddie intertwined his fingers with Steve’s above his head and began to move.

“The way you’re gripping me—holy shit,” Eddie murmured against his mouth.  “Does that feel okay?”

“It feels…so fucking good,” Steve hushed. “Don’t stop.”

Steve’s bent legs were up now, and Eddie was thrusting against him, deep and hard, unable to hold back the emotions that drove his movements.  Steve’s body bent so that his stomach wrinkled as Eddie found a mouth-watering pace, his guitar pick swinging in the air.

Foreheads pressed together, Eddie said, “wrap your legs around me,” and that’s when it happened; that’s when Steve could feel the coil snap in his stomach as Eddie drove into him with purpose.

Eddie grabbed a handful of Steve’s hair and pulled tight, yanking his head to the side, making him whimper.

“Cum inside me, Eddie—” Steve cried.

Eddie gave a strangled gasp at his words, because he was close, but it didn’t take long to slide one hand between them to find Steve’s leaking tip to help him along. 

“I’m gonna cum in your tight little asshole,” breathless, Eddie was pounding him now, and neither one of them cared if the wet slapping sounds could be heard next door.  

It was all Eddie could do not to declare his love then; to tell Steve that it had always been him, and it would be him forever after.  “I’m so in love with you,” he wanted to say, and the thought alone made his orgasm rise. 

The way Eddie made him feel so full would have been enough, but then his friend’s strong, calloused hand was yanking at his cock and Steve began to convulse under him.  “Oh fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum.  Eddie, I’m cumming!”

First of all, did Steve just call him baby? 

But then there was no time to consider it because there were warm ropes of his release shooting between them, and Steve’s muscle gripped Eddie’s length over and over, milking him.

The way Steve cried out made Eddie’s movements erratic as he emptied himself, scooting closer, and bending his friend more in half to get deeper, to keep pumping with each aching grunt.  

“Shit, you feel amazing,” Eddie cursed as everything got slippery and he could feel his seed leaking out between them.

Once they both came down from their highs, Eddie pulled himself out of Steve and kissed his knee before shimmying off the bed.

“Damn,” Steve looked down at himself, at the spray of jizz that began to pool in his belly button and noticed the sensation of Eddie’s release dripping down his ass.  “I’m a fucking mess.”

“Hold on, I got it,” Eddie returned from the bathroom with a washcloth, brushing hair out of his face, and Steve watched him climb onto the bed to nestle between his thighs again.  His cock was still half-hard, bobbing in the air as if it were already preparing for another round.  

Eddie had the wet rag ready, but then the cum glistening on Steve’s stomach gave him other ideas.  

“Are you giving me all that sweet aftercare now?” Steve scoffed.

“Well, yeah,” Eddie wiggled his eyebrows before bending down to lap at Steve’s bellybutton with his tongue.  “You’re my guest.”

The feeling of his friend’s tongue dragging along his sensitive flesh was about to make Steve erect again, and he writhed at the sensation, eventually scooting further away, up against the headboard.  Eddie watched him go, not sure what he’d done wrong, and passed him the washcloth.  

Steve was having a hard time looking at his best friend now.  Maybe because it had been the best orgasm of his life? Maybe because the past hour had made him question everything he thought he knew about himself? 

He didn’t know what to do with the towel when he was done, so he handed it to Eddie, and he tossed it to the ground with a flop.  

Eddie was about to move up next to Steve to kiss him, or at least sit next to him, but instead Steve got up off the bed and bent down to put his boxers on.  

“So, does this mean—” Steve stammered, keeping his back to Eddie.  “Does this mean that I—that I’m a bottom?”

Eddie was about to chuckle as he stretched long on the mattress and put his head in his hand, but then he realized Steve was asking a serious question.  

“Did you enjoy it?” Eddie asked, cautiously.

“Um, yeah,” Steve bent down to pick up his shirt.  “Obviously I did.”

That response elicited a quiver of a smile from Eddie, putting parentheses on either side of his mouth.

Eddie exhaled a long breath and rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling.  “It means…whatever you want it to mean.  I’m not one to really care for labels.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Steve nod, taking in the information.  He went to sit at the edge of the bed, fully clothed now, and Eddie ran a hand down his chest, thinking of his next words.

“We could always try it…the other way,” he said it so nonchalantly, and it made Steve turn his head, curiosity piqued.

“The other way?”

“You know,” now it was Eddie averting his eyes.  “You could fuck next time, if you want.  If you want to try it, I mean.  See if you like it.”

“Next time, huh?” Steve ran a hand up and down his face. “I don’t know, man, this is —kinda blowing my mind right now.”

“I get it,” Eddie could feel a familiar heartache rising in his throat.  “We could just forget this ever happened, if you want.”

There was a heavy silence then, thick and weighty with the fear of the unknown.  

“No, I don’t want that,” Steve whispered.

Eddie lifted his head up.  “You don’t?” His voice cracked, and then he cleared his throat and sat up to brace his elbows behind him.  

Steve stood and put his hands on his hips before turning to his friend again.  He raked his fingers through his hair.  “I want to keep doing this,” he muttered.  “But I don’t know what that means.”

“Hey,” Eddie scooted himself down so that he was sitting close to where Steve was standing, legs off the bed, and looked up at him.  “We’re the only ones allowed to define this…whatever is happening between us. No one else.”  

And the next thing you knew, Steve surprised himself for the second time that night, by going over to stand in front of Eddie.  He brushed a few strands of his outdated bangs off of his forehead and Eddie closed his eyes to bask in the attention.  

But his eyes opened when he felt Steve lower his head and grab onto Eddie’s shoulders.  His mouth was so close now, and their noses slotted together.  “I think I need to kiss you again,” he hushed.

Eddie’s hands went to the hips of Steve’s shorts, making fists in the material; he could feel himself getting hard again already.

“You better fucking do it, then, Harrington,” Eddie mumbled.

Once their lips met, tongues were quick to follow, and then they were crashing into the kiss and Steve wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck.  He had so many questions, and so many concerns about what this would look like to the outside world, to his friends and estranged family.  But, in that moment, nothing mattered more than getting as close to this person he loved as he possibly could.

He wanted to be inside of him.  

Eddie dropped to his knees and took Steve’s boxers with him, making Steve curse once he was back inside Eddie’s warm mouth. 

Eddie pulled back to spit on the head, connecting a string of saliva to his mouth when he looked up to stare into his companions' eyes.  

“You know where I want to put that,” Steve told the man on his knees.

Eddie’s moan was full of yearning.  “I want you to fill me up,” and then he licked down the shaft and spit again until it was soaked.  Eddie sucked his finger and then snaked it back to push the tip into Steve’s clenching muscle while he gave kitten licks to the freshly juiced pre-cum.  

Steve jumped. “Fuck, baby—you’ll make me cum like that,” he barked a laugh.

Eddie’s smile was huge—-holy shit, he was so in love—-but then he stood to full height and grabbed Steve by the throat to kiss him.  “We’ve got all night.”

Steve found his partner's rock-hard length and began to roll back the foreskin with a firm grip.  He had no idea what he was doing but decided to go with whatever felt right.  “Bend over,” Steve told him, taking a fist full of his hair. “Get on the bed.”

Steve’s tone made Eddie clench, and his balls were preparing for duty again.

Steve stepped out of his boxers and took his shirt off, keeping his attention on Eddie’s ass, and the way it was on full display for him now.

“The lube is in the—” Eddie started, but Steve silenced him with a “shush”.

“You’re a big boy, Harrington,” Eddie continued.  “I don’t want to get ripped open toni—-”

But then big hands were spreading his cheeks apart and an eager tongue was dancing around his asshole.  

Eddie pushed his hips back and the tongue dove inside. “Does that feel good?” Steve asked in between licks.  

“Fuck yes,” Eddie breathed.

With that new burst of encouragement, Steve slid his thumb in, making the metalhead throw his head back.  

Steve considered the logistics of it all for a moment, and then: “Can you get on your side?”  

He moved into position without question.  Steve didn’t have the nerve to say it, but he wanted to see Eddie; he wanted to be able to look at his face when he came.  When they were both ready, Eddie rubbed the lube on his friend’s generous length, and then Steve squirted a bit on that pink, puckered spot, and Eddie yelped at the cold sensation.

More low chuckles, more tender laughter.

Eddie watched over his shoulder at the way Steve was concentrating as he lined the tip up.  His best friend was so fucking beautiful, and he hoped to god it wasn’t a dream. Steve straddled Eddie’s bottom leg, while his top bent to the side, twisting at his hip.  

Steve stammered a few curse words when he sank in an inch, halting.  “Oh shit, I had no idea how tight—holy fuck Munson.”

“Fuck, please don’t stop,” Eddie mumbled into the pillow.  

Steve groaned long and hard with each thrust, pushing himself in, taking his time, and then pulling out a bit until his hips were almost flush with Eddie’s ass.

“You like it when I stretch you out, don’t you?” 

Eddie’s jaw went slack, and he reached down to touch himself, rutting into the mattress.

Steve buried himself inside Eddie, spreading his cheeks apart to watch.  “Tell me I’m the only one who fills you up like this.”

“You’re the only one,” Eddie was whimpering now, trembling with lust and love. “I need you to start moving right now, Harrington!”

Steve was snapping his hips then, pounding Eddie just the way he wanted.  The sounds escaping both of them were egging each other on, and Steve held Eddie’s leg up to get a better angle.

“It’s never felt this good,” Steve blurted.  “Look at me.”

Eddie turned his head to meet his partner’s hooded gaze, sweaty hair sticking to his cheek.  What if he said, “I love you”? What then? Because it was right there on the tip of his tongue.  

“I’m so close, Eddie,” Steve’s movements stuttered a bit.  “I need to see you.”

It was only a few more seconds of that intense eye contact before Steve was losing every last bit of himself inside his friend, slapping their skin even harder together as warm wetness filled the space.  Steve’s toes curled on the mattress, and he threw his head back, holding onto Eddie's leg so that he didn’t fall over.  

Being inside Eddie, to share something like that with him, felt so right and so perfect, and he was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions.

He flipped his partner over so that he was on his back, neglected cock straining against his tattooed stomach, and Steve bent over to put it into his mouth.

“Steve—!” Eddie was already about to blow his load before those soft lips were on him, but now his balls were tightening up close to his body. “I’m so close, I’m gonna—oh fuck!”

Steve nodded, humming on his friend’s swollen length as the salty spill poured over his tongue and he drank it down with eager swallows.  Eddie writhed, shaking as he came.  

They showered together again after that, and Steve found out about Eddie’s insatiable appetite when they jerked each other off one more time before they found sleep.  They were all a tangle of limbs and legs, hot breath against the skin of each other’s throats.

The next two days brought much of the same. They had dinner together when Eddie got home from work and held hands in front of the tv.  Until hand holding turned to touching and it was time for Steve to experiment being inside Eddie from a different angle.  They both lost count of the number of times they came inside of each other.  Well, Steve lost count.  For Eddie, each one was precious and something he cherished.  

On the third day, while the Saturday morning cartoons were on, Eddie’s head was in Steve’s lap while he played with his hair and rubbed his scalp.  Eddie’s eyes were rolling back in his head, and he suddenly understood why cats purr.  It all felt so natural, hidden away there in Eddie’s cozy trailer with the curtains drawn, like the rest of the world didn’t even exist.

But then there came the sound of footsteps bounding up to the porch, and someone tried the door handle before offering a few quick knocks.

“Hey, what’s going on in there?” The woman’s voice exclaimed.  “Open up, this is the police.”

Steve’s eyes bulged and he practically pushed Eddie to the ground, trying to cover himself with the blanket. He was wearing his boxer shorts, but it made him feel very exposed.

Eddie’s hair was a mess when he sat up, and he gave Steve a curious frown.  “What’s wrong with you? It’s just Robin.”

“I know,” Steve took a breath.  “It just startled me, that’s all.”

Eddie threw a pillow in Steve’s face and shouted, “coming!”

“No, no, wait!” Steve lurched up and grabbed his friend's arm, pulling him back down to the couch.  

Eddie gave him a few confused shakes of his head.  “Are you losing it man? You knew she had the day off and might come over.”

“It’s not that,” Steve was whispering.  “I want to see her I just—did you tell her…does she know…about us?”

Eddie’s face sobered.  “When would I have a chance to tell her? I’ve spent every free second with you.”

“Okay good,” Steve’s shoulders sank, showing that he was clearly relieved.  “Let’s keep it between us, alright? I don’t want anyone to know.”

“Anyone…ever?” Eddie was searching his companion’s eyes, hoping to find that same glimmer from the past couple days there, but it was gone. He understood that coming out could be complicated and difficult, and he didn’t think Steve would be shouting it from the hills, but surely Robin could know? They were the three amigos, the best of friends.  If anyone would embrace him for exactly who he was and who he wanted to have sex with, it would be her.  

Maybe he just needed more time, and that was fine, Eddie had plenty of it.  

Robin knocked again, more forceful this time.  “What the hell? I’m growing mold out here.”

Eddie remained still, passing his tongue over his teeth, and thought about what Steve was asking of him.  

“I’m going to put some clothes on,” Steve got to his feet and jogged out of sight, to the bedroom, leaving Eddie to sit there, feeling the weight of being a secret, yet again.  

“Hey!” Steve hissed from the hallway where he struggled to pull his jeans on while Eddie walked to the door.  “Could you light a candle or something? It smells like sex in here.”

Yeah, sure, he’d get right on that.  

Anything for you, King Steve.

-----

Hi! Thank you for reading! Always love hearing from you. Look out for part 2 🧡

[levisolace]

[1] Expendable Hearts (Levi x F!Reader)

Chapter 1: Windex and Baking Soda

WC: 7,182 Chapter Warnings: slight angst Summary: Everyone in Levi's life knows he only ever dated one girl and that she left him wrecked, bitter, and heartbroken. Many years later, she's back in his life and he doesn't know what to do. story masterlist > next chapter

“It’s always my pleasure, Mr. Brown.”

The corporate smile on your face drops as soon as you hit the end button in the video call application on your laptop. It was the first meeting of the day with a client and you were already exhausted, wanting nothing but to go home and curl up in bed, heavily surrounded by your pillows and weighted blanket for hours. But you know that’s a dream that would remain a fantasy for a while. Why? Because it’s a Monday. It’s only the start of the week and judging from the pile of paperwork delivered to your desk this morning, you would have to work overtime again for the third week in a row. 

Being recently hired by one of the top leading firms in the country is a blessing you will be thankful for every day but as the week goes by and you’re on your fifth pile of paperwork, more than ten meetings in one week, you can’t help but think what would it be like to work for a small, quiet firm. You shrug those thoughts away as soon as they come. You’re grateful for the more-than-average salary the firm provides, at least.

The day went on as it always does: hours of you trying to ignore your back pain. It was becoming unbearable and you can’t even use the ointments your grandmother used to insist you use because it would no doubt infest the building with its smell—your reputation and first impression from your coworkers is at stake. 

As you’re typing back an email from your superior, Atty. Dot Pixis, you halt when you feel the buzzing on your table. You pick it up mindlessly, checking to see the notification. A smile spreads on your face to see that it’s your previous boss, Vanessa. 

hey. how’s working with the big leagues?? pixis is not tiring you out too much is he?? i can give him a word if you want.

pixis is treating me really well, nes. thank u for checking up on me! i miss everyone there at the firm and little ian :(( 

Vanessa, besides being your former boss back in Olsen & Associates, is also your friend and self-proclaimed older sister. She's a well-known attorney, and Olsen is a legend back in law school because she’s an alumnus who’s actually cool and doesn’t have their head up their asses. However, after deciding to settle down and start a family, she opened up a small firm in her hometown. 

i might just have to visit bc i miss my little sis :(( should’ve never let u leave

technically, it’s your fault i left 

i know :( don't remind me

Two months ago, Vanessa told you that ODM is hiring and Pixis contacted her to see if she knows anyone to take the job. Your jaw dropped to the ground when she told you she recommended you and you can send in your resume if you’re interested. It was an offer no one could pass up so before you knew it, you were being hauled into a hours-long bus ride and then anxiously seated for an interview in the city you used to live in. And after about a week of being a nervous wreck waiting for their response, you were contacted that you’ve been selected for the position.

Now here you are, finally settled in your office. You still can’t believe you have your own space in this huge building. You would’ve never thought you’d be working here in the firm you only used to stare at in awe while passing by years ago. 

Although, you have to admit that you miss the warm feeling of the small firm where you all know each other, exchange heartfelt greetings, and gossip when there are not too many clients. Now, you pass by a new face every now and then, most not even bothering to greet you or spare you a look. You can’t blame them. The work here is drastic. 

By the time you left the office, it’s already dark and way past office hours. As you were driving home, you remembered you still needed a few supplies in your apartment. You haven’t exactly settled yourself in, prioritizing work more. God, you even still had a few boxes to unpack. 

You stopped by a 24-hour supermarket that you spotted on your way to work this morning when you had to reroute because of the traffic. It was a little out of the way but it would do. It was still two hours before midnight, anyway.

As you drag your feet through the aisles and drop whatever you felt like you needed in the cart, unwanted memories come creeping in. The air in Paradis City is still the same. Even if a few buildings might have changed or some stores you used to frequent have closed down, it was still the same Paradis you knew—a buzzing city filled with dreams. The streets are never empty, famously congested by students from top universities or office workers. 

When you got the offer for the job, you weighed out the pros and cons. There were only two cons you were able to determine:

You don’t want to leave Olsen & Associates and Vanessa’s hometown, Trost, and

You’d be going back to your hometown, the one you promised not to go back to. 

The pros outweigh the cons, obviously. That weight being the thick fat salary you would be getting. Besides, Paradis is huge and has like three million residents. It’s not like you’d cross paths with him. And it’s been years. He probably forgot all about you anyway. You barely think about him. It was just a silly puppy-love relationship. No biggie.

Keep telling yourself that.

Shut up. 

“That one’s better.”

A voice directed to you made you snap out of your thoughts. It made you painfully aware of how you had been staring at the two options of green tea in your hand for probably more than the normal minutes it takes one to decide. The tall brunette had on a face mask covering half his face, his hair parted in the middle, and he wore a simple light blue button-down and black slacks. He was about two feet away from you when he pointed at the tea canister in your right hand. 

“Oh. Thanks,” you replied sheepishly. Desperate to run away from the embarrassment of zoning out in the middle of a public space, you take his advice and put down the canister on your left hand back to the shelf. 

“You’re welcome. I see my friend drinking it all the time so it has to be good,” he nods and you see his cheeks prop up, probably sporting a smile beneath the mask. You smiled back and thanked him again.

“Can you grab that one for me?” He points at a sweet one, a flavor in contrast with the green tea you chose. It was on the shelf being blocked by your cart beside you. You quickly mutter an apology and reach for a can. 

“My fiancée prefers her tea fruity,” he explains even if you didn’t ask, his ears tinted a bit red from his own statement. You immediately find it endearing. He seems very fond of his partner as he continues to babble about her. “Well actually, she prefers coffee with an unhealthy amount of espresso shots but I eventually persuaded her to drink tea once in a while.” 

“Moby! I know we usually don’t get this brand but guess what? This has a free pink sponge!” 

You freeze at the sound of that awfully loud and familiar cheerful voice heading towards you at a fast pace. You couldn’t turn your head. Your fingers unconsciously grip the can you’re holding harshly with wide eyes. Silently, you were wishing that the person just had the same voice as the crazed tall woman with glasses you used to know or the man beside you isn’t named ‘Moby.’ The former would hardly be the case because from the sound of the voice, the personality of being uncaring of the silent atmosphere of the supermarket, and the way she ran excitedly from your peripheral vision, you were sure that this person was your old friend Hange. For the latter, your last hope dies down as you see the stranger turn his head at the sound of his name and reply with a sigh.

“What the hell are you gonna do with a sponge, babe? We have lots of sponges.”

“Okay but imagine! We swap out Levi’s sponge with a pink one.” 

“I don’t think Levi cares about the color as long as it cleans.”

The fight or flight response in you went crazy at the mention of the name you haven’t heard in years, heavily leaning on the former. You could just hand this guy named Moby’s tea and make a run for it. You doubt Hange would care while being heavily invested in her free pink sponge. 

But why would you run? You only run when you’re scared or did something wrong. Which is it? It can't be the latter, right? 

I did. 

Oh? So you did. You’re scared, huh? That she’d get angry at you for what you did back then. 

I am. 

Run then. That’s all you know to do anyway.

Shut up. Leave me alone. 

“Miss? Are you okay?” 

For the second time in front of the same stranger, you were snapped out of your trance and find yourself gripping the can so hard that you think you’ve made a light dent on the can. Damn, you should really get a decent amount of sleep. You’ve been losing it a lot lately. 

You shake your head and slap your cheek lightly with your free hand. “Sorry. Lack of sleep. I’m fine. Here.” 

You turn to him and hand him the can, hoping he wouldn’t mind the barely noticeable dent you made. Purposely, you don’t stray your eyes away from the man. You don’t want to be the first person to acknowledge Hange. Maybe she doesn’t even remember you. Maybe she doesn’t even want to acknowledge you. 

“Greenie?” 

It was more of a mutter. But with how loud Hanji’s voice is, you and Moby clearly heard it. 

That’s when you look at her and actually see her. She looks the same as you saw her last. Her brown hair was tied up in a ponytail and her brown eyes were covered by thick-rimmed glasses. Nothing much has changed from her appearance except for the disappearance of the youthful look now replaced by maturity. Her gaze is fixed on you, slack-jawed. Her reaction doesn’t surprise or faze you, having expected that much. It’s what would follow that you’re nervous about. What would she say? Will she get angry at you? Or will she even remember who you are? Somehow, you dread that last possible outcome worst. 

“H-Hange,” you breathily let out. You wonder if it’s audible. 

Her fiancé also looks shocked, staring at you and then back to Hanji with widened eyes. “This is Greenie? The Greenie?” He points at you while asking Hange who was still frozen. His tone and reference to you immediately tell you that you have been discussed with people you never met, no doubt now knowing your past with them. 

Greenie. You haven’t heard that nickname in a while. 

It was silent for a few seconds, eyes not straying from each other. You probably look apologetic—scared, even. The man beside her is waiting too. You think he’s having a mini breakdown in disbelief. 

When you see her start to lunge at you, you shut your eyes, expecting her palm to collide with your cheek. You expect her to slap you and scream at you in the middle of the cold supermarket. You expect her to ask you where you got the nerve to come back to the city after all you’ve done. 

Instead, what she did broke down all your expectations. 

Long and slender arms wrap around your figure, pulling you tightly to her chest. Your face is squished against the fabric of her fluffy parka jacket. Even if you suddenly have trouble breathing with how tight her hug is, you were thankful that it covered your face and how you were biting your lower lip, trying to suppress the relief that comes with tears.

“Where the hell have you been?!”

You couldn’t even answer. Or move at all. Not that you even know what to say. 

“Hange. You’re killing her.” You hear her partner say. Hange instantly loosens her grip on you, muttering an apology with a slight chuckle. When she looks down at you, you give her a gentle smile.

“I missed you too, Hange.” And you meant it. 

The tall woman was still not letting you go, arms wrapped just below your shoulders because of the height difference. Even if you were caged in her arms, you can still tilt your head up to look at her. Suddenly, tears started streaming down her face as she tilts her head down to you, her mouth quivering. Then it turns into full-on sobbing. You chuckle as she starts swaying you with her, going side to side like a pendulum as she sobs while wailing your name repeatedly. 

There was no stopping Hange when she gets like this. So you let it happen. You let her hug you like she did many times before. You relish the moment, wanting to pass out and let loose in her hold. Maybe you’re dreaming and you’ll wake up in your bed, filled with disappointment and yearning for some warmth.

When she was satisfied, she let you go and introduced you to Moblit, her fiancé and coworker. They walked with you as you continued to shop, telling you stories about her and Moblit. Thankfully for your sake, she didn’t ask you much about yourself or what happened when you were away. She just asked how you were doing right now and what you were doing in the city. Although you were scared that the news would get to him, you told her the truth that you recently got hired at the law firm. 

“So you moved back then? Like permanently?” Her brows raised in excitement. 

“Well, I have a temporary contract for six months before I’m permanently employed there so hopefully,” you shrug while heading to checkout. As expected, Hange doesn’t care that you practically explained that it’s technically a ‘not yet,’ she shrieks and jumps up and down anyway. 

“Oh my god, this is perfect! Greenie, one of my bridesmaids had to back out but we already had the dress paid and it’s a no-refund. Can you step in for her and attend our wedding? Would you? Please? Please?” Hange begs you, hands clasped together as she stares at you with puppy eyes and a pout. 

You stop in your tracks and feel your heart sink to the ground. She wants you to attend her wedding knowing that many, if not everyone, you used to know will be there. And if his name was so casually mentioned earlier, that meant that they were still very much best friends and he would definitely be there.

And a few minutes ago you were convincing yourself that you wouldn’t accidentally run into him in this city. Now, you have to actually see him and be in the same room for a few hours? 

You start with a chuckle. “Oh. I wouldn’t mean to impose—” 

You were abruptly overpowered by her loud negation. “No, you wouldn’t! Everyone would be ecstatic to see you! I swear.” 

“But—“

Hange sighs dramatically, shoulders slumping with a pout on her face. “I guess it’d be too much, wouldn’t it? You’re probably busy, right? Right. Sorry, I just got excited.” She turns to her boyfriend. “Moby, can you pay for our stuff and Greenie’s too?” 

“What?”

Your eyes widened but before you could protest or take a strong hold on your cart, Moblit was already dragging it away and sending a flying kiss to Hange who giggled like a schoolgirl to catch it with her fist. You turn to her in disbelief as he turns his back. She catches your face, knowing what you’re about to say. 

“It’s fine. That won’t make a dent in his bank account.”

Just like that, you were painfully reminded how no one could get a word in with Hange. 

“Un-fucking-believeable.” 

Niccolo, the training chef, flinched from behind him when the silver-eyed man let out an unprovoked profanity as he entered the restaurant. Connie, his loyal secretary, doesn’t even bat an eye at the unprofessional behavior of his boss, only following behind him with a straight face. 

“Shithead. Call Nile later. Tell him I want a new team on this…” his words halt in disgust as he sees the unfinished, poorly done walls of what was to be a new branch of Kuchel’s. “or I’ll fire his stupid construction company out of every damn project. Verbatim.” 

“Will do, sir.” Connie nods, mentally sighing. Not only is he used to hearing the profanities, but he’s also used to being ordered to say it too. 

Levi nods at his secretary’s response, eager to leave the abomination that was supposed to be at 80% progress at this date. As he turns, he’s faced with Connie and a blonde man he doesn’t know. 

“Who’s this?” 

The blonde man practically shivered at his haze, the corner of his lips twitching at the sides. It was a sad attempt at a smile. Mentally, Connie sighed at his boss’ unfocused mind when there was something that greatly irritates him. The trainee chef was just literally in the car with them and Levi told Connie to bring the chef with them on the way to check the new location. 

“This is Niccolo, sir. He was in the car with us. He’s the one highly considered by the HR,” Connie expertly answered. 

“So you’re on the last stage,” Levi addresses Niccolo. The nervous man gulps but answers. “Yes, sir.” 

Connie watches the exchange, feeling a bit of pity for the tall man cowering at the gaze of such a short guy with a temper taller than a skyscraper. He was exactly like this when Levi interviewed him for the position. 

“Sorry, I had to make a detour because some shitheads can’t do their job right. Let’s go.” 

And so Niccolo and Connie followed the grumpy man back to the vehicle they just got not even three minutes ago. 

Not that he knew what to expect or had guesses but Niccolo was utterly surprised that he was brought to the first Kuchel’s restaurant. The legendary one that went viral. 

When he passed by the reception area, his eyes widened when he saw the reservation list filled with no spots left. It was practically booked for the month from what he saw. 

The kitchen smelled amazing, each one of the cooks was busy and they actually looked happy while working. They worked with so much coordination and laughter like he had never seen before. 

He thought that he’d train or cook with them today, seeing as they’re Kuchel’s main branch’s team. He was excited too. But again, Levi surprises him when he pushes another door open from the kitchen, revealing a staircase. The man says nothing but climbs upstairs. 

Confused but too scared to ask, Niccolo only stares at Connie but who beckons him to follow him up the stairs. When he sees Levi take a glance behind him, his feet move on its own, following the cold short man’s steps.

He sees a living room first. It’s a simple home but maintained well enough to look pristine. He kept on following Levi as he eventually led him to a kitchen. Levi turned to him and he’d be lying if he said that his heart didn’t jump at his sudden order. 

“Do whatever you like. You have an hour.” 

And then he leaves the kitchen, leaving Niccolo confused as he looks around at the domestic kitchen. He sees Connie, Levi’s assistant aggressively mouthing the words ‘cook anything’ as he follows Levi back to the living room. 

“Good job. I think he liked it.” 

Connie whispers to Niccolo before he leaves. Normally, he isn’t allowed to tell the training chefs what Levi thinks. But he’s feeling a little silly and Niccolo is his friend and his best friend, Sasha’s, boyfriend. 

Just like all the other training chefs, Levi brought Niccolo to his old home to cook something for him. Levi is hella picky with them but Connie could see that he actually liked his friend’s food. There was no pursing of lips, which was the worst of them all. Connie had to scramble and get the trainee out before he burst the room into a myriad of colorful words no one wants to hear. 

When they got back to the office, Hange was already there and most probably uninvited. 

“What the fuck are you doing here, four eyes?” 

Levi’s eyes were seething with annoyance as he sees his friend sitting at his desk on his chair, spinning around like an idiot. It was hard to believe that this woman is a professor at one of the most prestigious universities in the country. 

“Shorty! You’re here!” She exclaimed, slamming her hands down on the fine wood of Levi’s desk to stop the chair from spinning. 

“Get the fuck up before I strangle you to death, Hange.” 

Hange chuckles but stands up anyway, skipping before plopping herself on the couch in Levi’s office. “Can you relax? I was just here to remind you that I’m getting married.” 

Levi groans and rolls his eyes. “Who would fucking forget, Hange? You text a fucking countdown at seven in the morning in the group chat tagged to everyone. The mute option has been fucking useless since you learned how to do it.” 

Levi sits down on his chair and switches on his computer to return to work despite his friend’s unsolicited visit to his office. 

“Oh! I wanted to ask you something too! Do you have a date for the wedding? So I can take note of a plus one, maybe?” 

He gives a blank stare to his friend for a second before turning back to his screen. “You know you can ask me that through a phone call, right?” He began typing away on his laptop, answering a few emails Connie forwarded to him. 

“Well, you blocked my number so I thought that you’d rather see me in person.” Hange shrugs with a grin.

Levi pauses, remembering that he did block Hange’s number that one night she insisted for he come over and watch a horror movie with Erwin and Moblit. He was working and couldn’t turn his phone on do not disturb mode so he had to specifically block Hange’s calls. He then proceeds to forget to unblock her until now. 

“So, no date?” Hange presses further. 

Levi grunts, annoyed at the stupid question. “Who the fuck am I gonna bring? It’s not like I’m gonna bring a random girl to your wedding, Hange.” 

“You totally could. They’re called escorts,” Hange suggests like a know-it-all.

“I don’t want a random stranger in your wedding pictures, four eyes.” 

“I would rather have that than see you so depressing in my pictures with your bitch face. Oh! Want me to set you up on a blind date?” Hange’s voice rises again, something that happens when she gets excited over an idea. 

“Fuck no,” Levi spat. 

“Your last serious relationship was decades ago, Levi. Give it a try again.” 

If looks could kill, funeral flowers would be thrown at Hange’s casket instead of wedding flowers. His fingers hover over the keyboard, hanging frozen at her words. At the mere implication of you, his blood boils and his chest tightens. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

“Well–”

“Are you saying I’m not over her again, Hange?” 

Before she could answer, the door swung open, revealing a tall blonde man with thick eyebrows who was grinning cheek to cheek. Great. Erwin’s here. Maybe they could send a few more uninvited people, order greasy pizza, and have a party in his office. 

“Over who?” Erwin asks, ever the gossip man. Levi grunts and rests his forehead in his palms as Hange greets Erwin enthusiastically before answering.

“You know who.”

Erwin narrows his eyes at Levi before sitting down on the other edge of the couch. Hange tells him about getting a blind date. “You could try, Hange. I’ve set him up with surprise blind dates before and you know how that went.” 

“Can you two fucking shut up and leave? I’m trying to work here,” Levi spat in annoyance. The pair ignores his grumbling, carrying on their conversation like he wasn’t in the room.

“But I have never set him up with someone before,” Hange points out. 

Erwin purses his lips. “I doubt that you can find a girl better than me, Hange. I tried everything.” 

Erwin and Hange look at each other with mischief, clearly enjoying Levi’s suffering from their teasing. He knows they won’t stop. If anything, it only egged them on further.

Hange places a finger on her chin obnoxiously. “Maybe you could ask the girl to wear green next time.” 

Erwin nods, crossing his arms like he’s actually considering it. “Absolutely. We all know Levi still loves his greenie.” 

God, even her nickname is a pain to hear. 

Levi slams a hand down his mahogany desk so loud that people outside his office probably heard it. It didn’t faze his friends who were snickering on the couch though. They know he’s about to blow. He’s so frustrated that he almost ran a finger through his well-kept hair but caught himself before damaging it, exhaling loudly in frustration before speaking. 

“Look, you dipshits. I told you a thousand times. Forget about that damned woman. I’m not dating because I’m goddamn busy with all these expansions, not because I’m not over a girl who left us all without a fucking trace.” Every word is laced with venom and he ends it with a huff. 

“Fine. We get it. You’re over her but you’re still angry at her.” Hange rolls her eyes. 

Levi doesn’t know exactly when they started referring to her as mere stories or inside jokes. But evidently, it turned out that way. They used to be hurt at the thought of her disappearing. Slowly, they started to forget. Except him. He’s still angry and confused when he thinks of a reason why. 

“I am,” he admits.

“And if she comes to see you again? What will you do?” 

This question again, Levi thinks. 

He sighs. Like an automated machine, he answers the question as he did a myriad of times before, the first being the answer to one of your stupid games of what-if questions when you were together. Most were just ways to make him say those damn three words to you. It was usually just dumb things like “What if I was a worm?” and he would roll his eyes and tell you that he would unhesitatingly kill you before kissing you when you frown in disappointment. One question, however, deeply offended him more than anything. 

“Levi, what if I asked you to break up with me?” 

You were sitting on the couch with a blanket draped over your legs, still reeling from the sad romantic movie the two of you watched where the disabled paralyzed man still decides to die even after he fell in love with his caregiver. 

Levi, who’s in the middle of choosing another movie from your collection of DVDs, freezes in his seat. He doesn’t turn to look at you but you see his whole body tensed up having heard what you said.

“What if we break up like that?” 

You repeat the question with a pout on your lips. Levi finally looks at you with a frown on his face. He sighs and looks away, gaze lifting up for a second as if he’s thinking. 

“No,” he answers even if the question upsets him. “We’re not gonna break up.”

You noticed that his mood falters from your question.  Feeling a little bad, you wrap a hand around his bicep, pulling yourself close to his side. With a smile, you lean in and give him a peck on the cheek. “Don’t be sad. It was just hypothetical.”

He instantly leans unto you. He always does so when you’re near—like opposite sides of a magnet being pulled together by force. He always wants to be near you.

“Can you just go back to stupid questions like the worm shit?” He asks with a low voice, faces too close to each other that his lips could brush yours. 

You give him a teasing grin and hum, nodding but doing the exact opposite of what he asked. Ever his stubborn girl, you continue asking. “But what if I leave you?” 

He glares at you, not very pained this time, knowing it’s just you teasing again. Instead, his brows furrowed as he gazed down at you with his silver eyes. His eyes flick down to your lips and his lower lip brushes against yours for a millisecond. When you were sure he was about to kiss you, he shoves a hand at your face and pushes you away with a little force, making you land on the couch on your back. 

You laugh but curse him out loud for his attack. Levi huffs, crossing his arms and looking away. 

“If you do that, I will ignore you for the rest of my fucking life. You’re dead to me.” He says it with so much conviction that you know he doesn’t mean a word of it. 

You sit up again, frowning then lightly slapping his shoulder. “That’s rude. What if I come back to see you, then?” 

He scoffs loudly, still looking away from you, and spots his box of cleaning supplies. Then, he says the second thing that comes into his mind, thinking that the first one he thought of would seem desperate and pathetic of him. 

He opens his mouth to speak and the words you hear from him causes an ever louder laugh out of you. He smiles before pushing you on your back again. This time, pulling himself on top of you and sealing your lips with a kiss. 

“I’d spray her with some fucking Windex, throw baking soda on her stupid face, and kick her out.” 

Usually, the statement is so funny to them that it ends the conversation. Sometimes, he even gives them a demonstration where one of their unlucky friends gets to be on the receiving end. But this time, Erwin has a follow-up question that goes straight to Levi’s chest.

“And if she insists on staying? What will you do?” 

Levi went quiet. Hange and Erwin give a knowing sad look at each other that Levi doesn’t catch. They didn’t mean to push him this hard. But they had to know if he was ready. 

From just outside his door where Connie’s desk is placed, his secretary listens in as well. He heard about his boss’ ex. The whole office knows about it. His mysterious ex and the only woman Levi Ackerman loved. That was what everyone knew. But from spending too much time with his boss more than he wanted to, Connie had learned the following about his boss’ only relationship:

Her nickname is Greenie because she liked green tea. Levi prefers black tea but he accidentally told you he liked green tea too then ran with it for four months until Hanji revealed the truth accidentally.

The four of them knew each other for a long time. He doesn’t know if they met in high school or college. But in school, definitely.

After getting their undergraduate degree, she asked Levi to break up and broke his heart with words.

After the breakup, she disappeared from Paradis. Levi waited for her for a long time, broken and yearning. She didn’t come back. Now, all Levi has is bitterness in his body.

Those are what Connie gathered from his little detective skills to cope with having to work under the horribly mannered man. Then, he shares it with his best friend, Sasha, during his lunch break. 

He listens a little more, the email he was reading sitting idle for longer than it should. His boss still doesn’t answer. 

Inside, Erwin and Hange await their friend’s reply who is still lost in his own thoughts. Erwin decides to push him one last time. He clasped his hands together and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. 

“If she comes to you for closure, will you accept it? You’re over her, right? You can stay angry, that’s valid. She did you wrong. But will you at least hear her?” 

Levi keeps quiet but listens to Erwin. The word closure gives his stomach an unsettling feeling. It felt wrong to hear it. But it doesn’t matter. His friends were just bored and bluffing again. He can bluff too. 

“I don’t really care about her as much as you think I still do. When I see her, I’ll do what I said I would. Then it’s done. I don’t care what she does anymore.” 

It’s been five days since you coincidentally met Hange and Moblit. Before you parted ways, you exchanged numbers and your old friend has been messaging you nonstop. You appreciated it. Hange was always light-hearted and kind. You’re glad she found someone who appreciates her and takes care of her. So when she mentioned that there was a conflict with the invitations, you offered to fix it for her, knowing a thing or two about it. You handled project management a few times as an intern. 

There was once a time when you called her your best friend. You know that’s a title you no longer hold but either way, you were glad to talk to her again. Even if you know that in the very near future, you would have to face what it holds for you. Now that Hange is back in your life, it’s only a matter of time and you’d have to see your ex again. You lie awake at night thinking of what you’d do then. 

It was Saturday. That means no work for you after lunch, thankfully. You ground through your paper works and clients like a corporate machine all week, wanting to finish them before Saturday so you wouldn’t have to go overtime on a weekend. And after about nine cups of highly caffeinated green tea, you finally finished all your work for the week. Now free from the shackles of labor and capitalism, you slung your tote bag over your shoulder and headed out of your office and onto the elevator. 

Passing by Pixis’ office, you inform him you’re taking your leave which he cheerfully allowed, wishing you a happy weekend before you left his office. You bid him to have the same and left the building, anxious to see through the next events of the day. If this was a normal weekend, you’d be content with wasting away in bed as soon as you rushed home. 

You handled the invitations over the week, using your break time to oversee how it’s going with the printing service you trust for things like this. They generously accepted your request for a rush order, knowing who you are. 

The invitations were piled into a box on your coffee table by Friday, ready to be sent out to Hange’s guests. When you texted Hange that they were ready, she sent over her apartment’s address, telling you to personally meet her there on Saturday after work. She argues when you tell her you can just send it in the same day through an app, whining about how she wants to hang out with you. 

Hange, ever the persuasive and persistent person, got you to agree. That, and you still feel guilty for declining her invitation to her wedding. 

After you press the doorbell, you wait patiently with your left hand holding the small box of invitations. Her apartment was apparently a penthouse. An apartment in this building already costs an arm and a leg. Hange is smart and talented, one of her research must’ve been really successful. You also remembered that she was probably living with Moblit here. Ah, the wonders of having a partner in life—shared rent. Maybe you should get a roommate. 

When the door was taking too long to be answered, you shoot up a text for Hange. 

hey i’m here outside ur door ! :)) 

ok! just wAit a bit

It didn’t take Hange long to reply, easing your anxiety a little. When it takes more than a minute after she sends her text, you tilt your head in confusion. Are you at the correct address? Maybe you’re at the wrong unit. You were pretty sure you were on the right one, though. You rechecked it a few times. 

You wait a little bit more before ringing the doorbell again. You assume she’s probably grossed into something and can’t take the door at the moment. With a sigh, you wait a few more minutes, turning away from the door and deciding to scroll through your social media accounts that you barely use. 

A smile involuntarily plasters itself on your face when you see the posts of your coworkers from Trost. Warmth spreads to your chest as you see the office through the pictures, reminiscing your time there. It’s suddenly frightening, the realization that you’re alone in this huge city with no one to turn to. It’s a feeling you’re awfully familiar with, a state you’d rather not return to. 

When you feel yourself drift away to those thoughts, you pull yourself away immediately, figuring that the time you waited should be enough to press the doorbell again. 

But as you turn around to press it for the second time, the door swings open harshly in a swift motion, making you jump a little in surprise and fear as you hear an annoyed groan from a man that is most definitely not Hange coming with it. 

“For fuck’s sake. Did Hange give a woman my addre…”

The two of you froze. 

The raven-dark hair parted in the middle. The undercut. Those gray eyes and his beautiful piercing gaze. Those high cheekbones and soft cheeks. Those furrowed brows and scrunched forehead that was softly dissipated from his face when he sees you standing behind the door. Those delicate pink lips, now parted in awe and mirroring yours.

Neither of you can move like you were frozen in time. Every muscle in your body refused to move. Your brain stopped functioning and wasn't even able to conjure a coherent thought, much less a response. The only thing you could do was stare at the man you once called home. 

He still had dark under eyes but they were more prominent than before. You hate how it still suited him even if you hated how little he sleeps; they make his gaze heavier, willing you to get lost with him. A few strands of his fringe fall over his eyes. They were a little longer than what you were used to but it was still the same haircut you used to run your hand over when you were cuddling. It was a little unkempt. And even though his white shirt is a little crumpled, it still smoothly falls over his frame. It drapes from his defined shoulders to his waist until the hem of the shirt goes over the band of his gray sweatpants that hugged his legs loosely. 

He breaks the gaze spell when his eyes go over you, top to bottom. He stares at your shocked and devastated countenance, the casual but decent clothes that you changed into after work, the box in your hand, and the way your right foot has stepped further back than your left when he opened the door, ready to run away at the thought the man who opened the door was angry. 

You open your mouth to speak. You know you have to say something. Anything. Hi? Hello? How are you? Is this where Hange lives? Why the fuck do you still look so hot? 

But none of that comes out.

Why? 

Levi’s face hardens before you can speak, wiping off the bewildered eyes and replacing them with his infamous glare, silver eyes glistening with specks of anger. His mouth closes into a frown but not before scoffing at you. The scorned expression on his face shuts you right up for a second but you try and carry on.

This time, before you can speak, he slams the door shut in your face with an impact so loud it booms through your whole being enough to raise all the hair on your skin, leaving you standing there in his floor’s corridor appalled and deeply belittled.

Your startled brain is more confused than ever. As you decide to slowly process what happened and not even ten seconds after he harshly shuts his door, it swings open again, revealing the same man who not-so-gently shut it, with a hand still on the knob and the other holding something blue.

His arm outstretched towards you and you were faced with a nozzle of a familiar spray bottle. With a straight face, he sprays the fucking liquid right on your face. You immediately shut your eyes and mouth, leaning your face away from the spray. Although it’s far enough to not cover your face if you hadn’t moved, you still cringe when you feel the tiny droplets on your skin.

You lift one eye open, scared that he’s about to spray again. He puts the bottle down to his side, looking satisfied with his work. When you open both eyes, he shuts the door again, leaving you in the corridor with heightened emotions from the first time he did it paired with an itching aggravation. 

Was that a fucking Windex? 

Hold on. Windex? 

The door swings open again and he fully reveals himself without a hand on the knob like the two times before. This time he’s holding an orange cardboard box labeled Pure Baking Soda and reaches into it with his other hand. 

You shut your eyes close immediately, realizing what was happening when you remembered his words to you years ago. 

“I’d spray you with some fucking Windex, throw baking soda on your face, and kick you out.” 

The baking soda hits your face, making your nose involuntarily scrunch up because of the fistful of powder he threw at you. When you guess that he’s satisfied after successfully throwing you the promised baking soda, you blink your eyes open, finding him still standing there with a straight face. 

“Are you done?” you asked with a deadpan face, covered with baking soda.

© levisolace. please do not copy, translate, claim any of my works. my works are cross-posted only on my ao3 account. thank you.

[applejuicefruit]

Can you write something with neymar where reader is from LA and is visiting ney. Then reader gets homesick and becomes a bit distant, but then ney realizes that she is homesick and comforsts reader.

I really loved your other writings so i had to request this one❤️❤️ 

Hii! Thank you for requesting this! I didn’t know if you wanted Neymar to be in Brazil or in Paris in this story 🥲 I hope you don’t mind reader’s visiting him Paris.

I really hope you like this ❤️

ps: i remember when i went to london all by myself when i was 16 and i stayed there for a month and i remember telling my friends i was missing home in italy and they just ignored me :) nostalgia is real people !!!

City of Angels

Los Angeles. Your safe place. Your safe heaven. Your home.

You thought no place on Earth could ever compete with your hometown. You had the hills, the beaches, museums and millions of people visiting every year. It was your home.

You lived in a nice cozy apartment on the Hills. It was small but it was everything you ever dreamed of. Every morning you woke up with the beautiful Los Angeles sun coming through your window, the Hollywood sign in background. It was perfect. Your life was perfect.

Also because you were dating famous football player Neymar. Honestly you had no idea of who he was before you googled him. Being a Los Angeles Dodgers fan meant that you knew nothing about football or soccer as you call it to make Neymar mad.

You met in LA, that’s why you are so thankful for this city. You were both attending the same party and the moment your eyes met you knew it was game over. He introduced himself to you and waited for your surprised reaction that never came. It took you a whole week before finding out who he really was. He always loved this side of you. He dated so many people who wanted him only for fame and money, but with you things were different, you were so pure and kind and not affected by fame or popularity. Probably because that was the normality in LA.

You were getting ready for going to the airport, ready to leave the City of Angeles behind and spend the next two months in Paris with your boyfriend Neymar. You were so excited to see him again but honestly you couldn’t stop but feeling a little sad leaving this city behind. You let a few tears fall while watching the Hollywood sign from your bedroom. Then you closed all the suitcases and left for for the airport.

Almost 9 hours of flight after and you landed in Paris. Neymar couldn’t come and get you because he was practicing that day so he sent one of drivers to come and get you.

The moment you left the airport shock hit you. The sky was so grey you couldn’t even see the clouds, it was raining and it was freezing cold. You weren’t ready for this.

You smiled at his driver and got into the car while you were watching the view from your passenger side.

“Why everything seems so boring?” you asked yourself hoping Ney’s driver didn’t hear you. But he was too focused on the road to even pay attention to you.

Once you’ve arrived, the driver helped you into Ney’s apartment and then left. Neymar gave you his spare keys when he was in Los Angeles visiting you.

His apartment was huge.

Literally huge. It took you almost 20 minutes to visit every room. His apartment included an indoor pool and gym, five bedrooms and 5 bathrooms, a theatre room, a playroom, a large kitchen and a living room with the amazing view of the eiffel tower.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad” you hoped.

You were sitting on the couch watching some weird french movie that you couldn’t even understand when Neymar appeared in the living room.

“You already got yourself comfortable I see” he said coming behind you and kissing your head

“Ney!!” you jumped on his arms the moment you saw him

“Did you miss me angel?” he asked kissing you while he hold you by your ass

“Very much” you replied between kisses

“There are so many things I want to show you” he told you. And so it was. For he first two days he didn’t have practice so he showed you around Paris. It was nice actually. A bit cold but it was good. You loved the museums, the architecture, the churches.

But after the first week passed nostalgia hit you hard. You started missing the sun and the warm of your beautiful city.

One morning depression hit you really bad. You woke up and it was raining so much you couldn’t even go outside and get breakfast. So you stayed at home, sat on the couch with a fluffy blanked around your body watching the rain coming down from the window.

You couldn’t help but let a few tears fall. You’ve never been so nostalgic, but here you are.

You were so stressed that you didn’t even hear Neymar coming out from the bathroom, freshly showered. He was wearing a black t-shirt and some sport pants.

“Meu amor?” he gently approached you, slightly worried when he saw you crying “are you okay?”

“Yes…” you said wiping a few tears from your face

“Sure…” he sat next to you “care to tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s silly…”

“If you’re crying it’s not silly”

“I just-I miss home…” you said letting more tears fall

“What-what you mean?” he asked you a bit worried “you don’t like it here?”

“It’s not that…it’s just-it’s just that I miss Los Angeles so much…I’ve never been this nostalgic I don’t know what has gotten into me, I’m sorry”

“No baby, don’t be sorry, it’s completely normal” he said hugging you “you’ve never been away from home this much, it’s normal feeling a bit sad”

“I know I just wished I didn’t cry…”

“You can cry all you want with me” he said kissing your forehead

“Thank you babe…I really needed it”

“Of course meu amor…you know what? I don’t have any match next week…what if we go back to Los Angeles for a couple of days? Ah? You can show me that crazy fast food you can’t stop talking about!”

“You mean In N Out?” you asked while your eyes were completely shining

“Yes that one”

“Are you sure? I know you love Paris…and it’s your free week…”

“I’m happy as long as you are. And clearly you’re feeling a little bit distressed now…nothing would make me happy than to go back in Los Angeles with you amor”

“I love you so much Ney!” you said wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him while he held your hips

“I love you too baby, so fucking much…” he whispered while you kept kissing.

You couldn’t ask for more. In the end, your life was really perfect.

[reqxxyt]

strange confession

pairings: jude b. x f!reader

warnings: none (i think??)

masterlist requests are open!

[unedited]

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Finals week. Dreaded by every single student. Libraries are packed and practically everyone is crying in the study rooms. I had to schedule a study room 1 month before finals and I still just barely made the cut. Having been studying for the entire week for a physics exam, I had to cancel all plans isolating myself from any social gatherings, including one I had planned since the beginning of the semester. 

Jude has been in my life for the past 4 years of my existence, I never held much attraction to him until the end of high school but I blocked it thinking it was just a bluff and me just thinking about how much I was going to miss him but instead those feelings outweighed the platonic ones. Now, my sophomore year with barely any visits to my hometown, it was saddening that I had to cancel plans due to me being an academic tryhard. 

I finished my last practice exam and glanced at the clock to check the time debating whether to stay and risk the chances or leave now and go back to my noisy apartment. I shut down my laptop and started gathering my belongings, shoving them quickly into my backpack as I could feel my stomach grumble underneath me with hunger because of the lack of food I had the past week. 

I heard my phone ding as soon as I turned it on spotting that Jude had texted me sending my insides to blaze, excitement running through my heart hoping I could catch enough time to talk to him. But before I could read the message, it rang with his name on display. I answered it almost immediately holding it against my ear as I started walking towards the door. 

“Hurry up and get to your apartment.” he sounded annoyed and I furrowed my eyebrows even if he couldn’t see me. I asked what he meant. “Just get here” and hung up the phone. 

I hurried my steps a lot faster than I usually would and arrived at my apartment building in 10 minutes. By my door was Jude, sitting on the floor scrolling through his phone. Hearing footsteps near, he looked up and displayed his friendly smile the second he spotted me at the end of the hallway walking towards him. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked very little surprise in my tone. More just tired than anything, needing to take a 10-hour nap after this week. “Why are you sitting on the floor? Do you know how dirty that is? Get up”

“God you sound like my mother” he rolled his eyes, getting himself up while dusting himself off as I unlocked the door and left it open for him to enter behind me. “I came to surprise you” 

I gave him a blank stare not very amused, my insides were the clear opposite wanting to hug and show any type of physical affection and emotions to the man in front of me. “Why?”

Now he was the one surprised, expecting her to be all excited and jump around, maybe even giving him a kiss. But instead, she stood silent, unamused. “Because I thought you would like me to be here” his voice wandered. “I brought food”

Hearing this made me now excited, smiling like an idiot as I asked “Really?” now ready to jump around.  He just handed me the bag filled with my favorite snacks and food in a separate one. I went through it gasping at each product as I took them out, my heart softened at his thoughtfulness. 

“I love you” I blurted out mid-opening my first snack without much thought until the room turned silent. “Like-”

“Yeah I know,” he said, not really needing much of an explanation thinking she would ever only like him in a friendly way. 

I shoved all the possible snacks I could into my mouth, ensuring I wouldn’t say another word about that conversation as he sneaked a couple of my food into his mouth. 

“Did you not get yourself anything?” I asked a bit worried but still in awe about the amount of food he gave me. He just shook his head, grabbing another bite, not really noticing my worrying gaze until making eye contact with me. 

“Don’t give me that look” he said before taking another bite. I only just looked away hating how just given a glance can make my insides twirl. “Anyways, it’s been a couple of months since we’ve seen each other. You have to have a life by now.”

“Strange way to ask what’s been happening” I commentated as I sat on the stool next to his before answering “School is just all I have right now” shrugging but he gave me a bored look.

“What about that college experience? No parties? Crushes?” He asked, the last one in a teasing manner but I made a disgusted look trying to hide the blush that wanted to disperse. I shook my head to all of them biting the inside of my cheek, leaning back on the stool. “Then you have no excuse to not answer my calls,” he says with narrowed eyes. 

“I’ve been busy with school,” I said, half telling the truth. His eyes lingered on me for a second as silent moments passed, my heart skipped a beat with a sudden change of mind, maybe I should tell him now. I was going to anyways. “Jude?”

He hummed, waiting for my question. Hoping his brain was right where it was leading. 

“Can you quiz me for physics?” My mouth blurted out before my brain could process what to say. Jude lifted his gaze, no longer looking at me saying stupid things to himself. Meanwhile, I was cursing to myself.

“Stop worrying about it so much,” he says, getting out of the stool and heading to my couch. “You’ll do fine. You always do” 

“Fine is not enough,” I said, following him to sit down. I bit my tongue not allowing myself to talk about school anymore. “Have you met anyone yet?”

His face changed at the sudden change of topic, one he had been thinking about to himself for the last couple of months. “No” was a simple answer but it made me smile internally knowing he wasn’t seeing anyone and I wouldn’t be hurt. 

That’s selfish. 

“Huh?” He asked as if he heard me until I realized he did. Because I said that out loud. Very bad habit of mine. He stood back up as I was left sitting, staring up at him“It’s selfish that I’m not with someone?”

“What? Oh no. It’s not selfish. Not at all. I mean it would be selfish of me to want you to be single but if you did have someone, great for you I mean. Not so great for me considering uhh it doesn’t matter. I say things out loud sometimes” I stuttered out as I got myself up, rambling almost spilling my thoughts out in the open. He grew a small smile, one amused because somewhere in that ramble had been a confession. 

He now only stood a couple of feet from me now. “Why do you want me to stay single?” He tested the waters, stepping closer. 

This wasn't the way I planned it. “I can’t say the words Jude” I wanted to go back in time. But he was patient enough to stay a good distance.

“But I think you can. Say it” he whispered, barely audible. My heart pounded against my chest as I looked down to the floor only being able to hang my head low as I whispered. 

“I like you” 

“Again” a step closer. 

“I like you” with a tiny bit more volume.

“Again” step closer.

“I like you” a calmer tone.

“Again” he now stood a few inches away, lifting my chin as my breath turned steady although my heart was doing the complete opposite. His eyes searched my own, near praying to hear her say the words he longed for so long. 

“I li-“ but he didn’t let her finish. Pushing his lips onto her own. I stood shocked for the first second before feeling my body melt into his arms. Our lips moved in sync, almost as if having done this millions of times, but it felt like the first with all the excitement exploding internally. 

We separated, letting in small gasps of air as I looked up at him.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for those words”

[hairstevington]

mysterious ways (Steddie Week 2023)

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Hello all! I am participating in Steddie week this year, and I am doing a seven part series reflecting each of the seven prompts. Thank you @steddie-week for the challenge! I will only have this first part on Tumblr, but will post the next six chapters each day on Ao3, so follow along over there if you're into it! :)

Summary: Steve feels lonely after the earthquake. Somewhere deep in the Upside Down, new life is born. (Prompts: Hunger - Pining - Somebody to Love by Queen)

WC: 1.4K (each part is going to be pretty short I think)

Warnings: Kas!Eddie/Steve, canon universe post-season 4, pining, angst, a bit darker than my usual fare but not by much, PS this fic will have a happy ending because all my fics do lol

A/N: I wasn't planning on doing Steddie week because I'm going through a bit of a tough time right now but I randomly felt inspired today, so I'm giving it a go. Shout out to @skjachukson for requesting Kas Eddie, I have a feeling I'll be writing him more after this lmao

Sometimes, when things are at their worst, Steve can shrug and say, “hey - it’s not the end of the world.” 

Of course, in Hawkins, it often is the end of the world. So now, Steve has no idea what to tell himself. 

His hometown, which - let’s be real - was never that glamorous, is now in shambles. After the “earthquake,” almost everyone fled, which was valid. The ones who stayed were mainly those who’d been directly involved, or those who have nowhere else to go. Many people lost everything, and Steve tries to give back where he can - they all do - but a lot of the time he’s just sad. 

His hometown was split in four, and all of his friends are in love. 

Steve feels so dumb for even caring, but he does. All he ever wanted was to be loved, really, and he’s gotten the short end of the stick the last few years. He used to feel on top of the world, and now he’s - well, he had been in the Upside Down, which was probably as close as he could get to the literal opposite of the top of the world. 

His friends found happiness where they could  - mostly through crushes and girlfriends and boyfriends. Steve doesn’t have any of that right now. He doesn’t even know where to look. Everything around him is sad. 

Robin and Vickie had bonded over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, of all things. Since then, she’s been volunteering every chance she can with Vickie. Steve joins too, sometimes, but he feels very much like a third wheel. 

Some random dude with incredible hair and an even more incredible name (seriously, who names their kid Argyle?) showed up with Mike, Will, El, and Jonathan in a pizza van. A day later, the guy decided to drive back to Utah to visit his one true love or something. A woman with an equally badass name - Eden.

Steve wasn’t surprised when Dustin wanted to join, because apparently Eden lives with Suzie. Still, Steve was baffled by the whole thing. Usually, some sort of alarm would go off in his head about his surrogate little brother going on a road trip with a stoner, but Argyle seemed nice enough. 

Although, he did unironically use the word “brochacho,” and Steve didn’t really know how he felt about that. 

Steve knew Dustin was taking - uh, things - super hard, and so Steve encouraged any sort of break for the guy. Visiting Suzie seemed like the perfect way for Dustin to decompress, especially after what happened. 

So, Dustin took off. Robin’s busy. Steve is too mortified to even look at Nancy after he’d basically professed his love for her and she brutally rejected him and stayed with Jonathan. Lucas spends all of his time with Max. El and Mike are inseparable. 

That leaves Will. Steve doesn’t know Will that well, but he’s so lonely he doesn’t care if he comes off desperate or weird or whatever. 

Steve shows up at the Byers’ residence one Saturday morning, looking like a total dork. Hopper answers the door, even though Steve would have far preferred Joyce. She’s less, uhhh -

“Steve?” Hopper asks, gruffly. “What are you doing here?”

“I, um - I’m looking for -”

“Is that Steve?” a familiar voice calls from the living room. 

Ah, shit.

“Hey, uh, Nancy,” Steve says, giving a small wave. 

“Is something wrong?” she asks, joining Hopper at the door. 

“No, I -” Steve sighs. He’s mortified to even be in this situation. It was such a stupid plan in the first place. “I’m looking for Will. Is Will here?”

“Umm, yeah,” Nancy responds, retreating back into the house to presumably get her boyfriend’s little brother. 

“What do you need Will for?” Hopper asks, suspiciously. 

“Jeez, relax, Sheriff,” Steve replies. “I just wanted to talk to him. I’m the babysitter, remember?”

This explanation seems good enough for Hopper, even though Steve hasn’t really interacted with Will much prior to this. Not directly, anyway. He’d let the kids in to see movies for free back when he worked at Scoops, but that was it. 

After a full thirty seconds of awkward, painful silence, Will comes to the door. 

“Hey, kid,” Steve says. Hopper and the others had thankfully walked away to give them some privacy. “Do you - do you want to go to the music store with me?”

Will stares at him blankly for a moment, then shouts to the others behind him. 

“Mom! I’ll be back later!” 

Steve smiles, triumphantly. 

“Okay, have fun!” Joyce’s voice rings from somewhere in the house. “Be home by 5 for dinner!”

“You got it, Mrs. Byers!” Steve yells into the void. “Okay, let’s go.”

Will hurriedly walks out of the house and shuts the door behind him, then sighs in relief. 

“Thank god you’re here,” he says. “All the couples are driving me crazy.” Steve chuckles. 

“You and me both.”

-

Will turns out to be excellent company. He has good taste in music, and he’s funny. A little nerdy, like Dustin, but much quieter about it. They get along great, and end up spending a few hours together.

“My brother said he’d be there for me, and now he’s back to spending all his time with Nancy,” Will complains. 

“Yeah, well Nancy broke my heart into a million pieces, so,” Steve replies. 

Then, they riff on how annoying Jonathan and Nancy’s relationship is for a while. They aren’t saying anything out of genuine dislike for either party, but it’s still some much needed venting. Steve listens to Will talk about Mike and El, and that’s when he picks up on some things in between the lines. 

Maybe having a gay best friend makes him better at detecting that sort of thing. 

They pick out a bunch of music and listen to it as they drive around for a while. They both are big fans of Queen, so they blast that first. They get a little too into singing along to Somebody to Love, but neither of them poke fun at the other for it. As much as Steve and Dustin tease each other, and as much as he complains about being the babysitter, Steve loves these kids with all his heart. All of them, even the ones he doesn’t know as well, like Will. He would do anything to protect them. He’d done quite a bit already.

He drops Will off before dinner as promised, then heads home. It’s only after he passes by Forest Hills that he starts to think about Things again. The Things that he tries to suppress. The Things that bubble beneath the surface at any given moment. 

The Things that led up to the Earthquake. He isn’t ready to think about them. Not yet, maybe not ever. 

So yes, it’s far easier to reach out to other people who understand, and to cling to them as long as he can. And then he goes home, and instead of letting his mind drift to those dark places, he starts singing Queen under his breath. 

It’s stupid. It won't fix anything. But still, the need is there.

All he wants is somebody to love. 

-

Hawkins has begun to crack open, and soon what lay beneath will rise. 

It’s a dark place - somewhere that’s always on the verge of a storm. The energy in the air is thick with dread and impending doom. The creatures that live there are something that people may cast off as fictional, because their eyes aren’t open yet to how terrifying and big the world really is. 

Monsters, of all kinds. Some who had once been human, some who prey on humanity. Evil forces that keep kids awake at night. Forces that their parents insist are in their imagination. 

How foolish to think an imagination could be so vivid. Then again, perhaps imagination is what created this place to begin with. It could also be what sustains it.

A flash of lightning. Bats scattering. 

There’s a body somewhere in the fog, going through a transformation. Wings, teeth, and hunger. It takes several days for the body to resemble its altered form - one of strength, intimidation, and a deeply-rooted instinct for evil. 

Once complete, the body gasps in its new life. The soul of a tortured boy once occupied this space, but now there’s something else within him too - something ancient. 

Eddie Munson’s glowing eyes snap open.

He’s starving.

----------------------------

@paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou @allbimyself26 @jellybabiesforall @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @justaloadofgarbage-blog @alliemunsonsstuff @undreamingnscatworld @hobbitnarwhal @calivanus @wreckmyplans-thatsmyman @antheia @goodolefashionedloverboi @lillemilly @missmagillicuddy @steviesbicrisis @gamerdano @menamesniall eyeslikewildflowers111 @callmesirkay @stringischeese @eds-trashmouth @mnl-enuh @redfreckledwolf @itsanarrum @soulsofstarsliveinyourveins @gregre369 @stevesbipanic @momotonescreaming @aryakanojiaa @wrenisflying @comicmadlover @lilacrobin @itch-my-b0nez @anonymousbandgirl @disastardly @dangdirtydemons @daisyellsong @val-from-lawrence @starryeyedpoet17 @taikawaiteatea @clumsiluni @hollysimone @swimmingbirdrunningrock @witchofhawkins @steddiegarbage @suddenlyinlove @ricekristytreaty @eddielives1986

[philhoffman]

This has been a really good PSH year :) We made it through February and I fulfilled a promise I made to myself a year before—in March, I ran the NYC marathon in Phil’s memory. He was with me every step, both figuratively and literally—his initials on my sneakers, looking down to see the name Willy (Loman?) carved into the pavement.

Over the summer, my aunt sent me a photo of myself at Disney World as a child and I realized I’d seen a photo of Phil at the same age, in the same exact spot. One of my favorite serendipities of the year—it’s nice to think we’ve always been connected in silly little ways.

In June, I visited Phil’s hometown of Rochester for the first time to see the new PSH statue and attend a screening of Owning Mahowny. One of the best experiences of my life. Tearing up just thinking about it because I can’t remember a time when I’ve been happier. I met Phil’s mom and sister and got to share what he’s meant to me, how he’s saved and changed my life. It was everything I could’ve hoped for and it only made me love him more, only made his loss harder to fathom.

Maybe it’s been noticeable and maybe it hasn’t, but the last few weeks I haven’t been as active here. I could give a few different answers, but I think the real reason is how scared I am of the upcoming 10th anniversary of his death. I may not be posting but I’m certainly thinking and feeling a lot. For some reason, being a decade away from Phil’s life—that specific milestone, a decade—is a very overwhelming and upsetting thought and excruciatingly painful. I’m having some trouble wrapping my mind around it, so I’ve been trying to avoid it instead. That only makes it more painful when I do come back around. It’s been a nasty cycle.

I don’t really have a neat tidy resolution to this. It’s the last day of 2023, 2024 is about to begin. I keep calling it 2014. That damn year has represented so much pain for so long and I’m frightened of going through it again. Many, many more people will be remembering Phil this anniversary, which is touching and wonderful to see, but also hurts in such an… ineffable way. The sudden intense emotional outburst, the way it vanishes the next day or week.

A few weeks ago on a run I had the realization that it’s always possible to make new memories. Phil’s death and absence are very real, but so is the way he’s still with everyone who still loves him. I look back at this year and he’s part of the happiest moments. I’ll never forget running through Times Square with his picture in my pocket or meeting Jess in person to watch Synecdoche or his family’s warmth and kindness in ROC or the feeling I got on Christmas morning, talking to him in the woods after my run, the sense of peace that washed over me, knowing we’ll always be tied together.

And next year, I’m running the NYC full marathon, once again in Phil’s memory. More memories to be had, even after a decade, even though the grief still feels like it’s ripping me in half as I type this.

I love you, Phil. More than either of us know. Happy new year, my beautiful friend ❤️

[a-crumb-of-whump]

A New Beginning Drabble: Adam's Nightmare

Masterlist

Content: False accusations, parental whumper, nightmares, [mentioned] suicide, blamed for someone taking their life, physical/emotional abuse, fear of physical contact, PTSD/trauma.

A few people asked for a look in on what Adam's childhood was like, so have this. Isn't long by any means, but there's some heavy conversation during the nightmare.

(also, there is comfort)

-

“You killed him.”

Adam’s entire body shook as he scrambled towards the living room and out of the kitchen. It was hard – he could hardly find the strength to stand on his own two feet – but he managed to anyway, just to get away from the woman tailing him.

His own flesh and blood.

“You’re the reason he’s no longer with us.”

As much as he wanted to speak, all Adam could do was cry. The strain on his throat hurt the more he struggled to hold in his tears and every time he so much as thought about saying anything, another sob shook his already-trembling shoulders.

He didn’t do it. He didn’t. He would never wish death on anyone, let alone be the cause of it – no matter how relieved he’d been by the news that his father was no longer with them. The man had abused him physically and emotionally for years upon years – how was he not supposed to feel some sense of relief?

His ma clearly saw things differently. She made that clear when she grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the nearest wall, her blunt teeth bared angrily.

It scared him to no end that she was half his size and still managed to toss him around like he was nothing.  

“Please,” he finally managed to weep. “Di’nt do it. I di’nt-“

The pressure on his throat increased significantly, silencing him before he could finish his sentence. “He took his own life just to get away from you. Didn’t you read the note he left behind?”

Adam sobbed just that bit harder. “I can’t, I can’t be responsible for someone else’s decis-“

“Oh, but you were! Even he said so.”

She leaned forward even more, nearly pressing her mouth up against his ear just to make sure he understood her bitter words.

“It’s a pity that I know he’s gone to hell, but at least I know you’ll be able to entertain him down there—"

—and just like that, she was gone as quick as she’d come.

The lights were replaced by complete darkness, and her voice was replaced by Ryker’s concerned one; gently coaxing him into waking up with a hand on his back.

Despite this being the third time a nightmare like this had occurred this week, Adam woke up screaming just as hard as the last. In an attempt to protect himself, he shoved his hands against Ryker’s bare chest and pushed him away; only stopping when the younger man’s hands carefully cupped his.

“Hey. Breathe. It’s just me,” he whispered, just loud enough that Adam could hear him over the sound of his own panting. “You’re home. You’re safe. Can you hear the ocean just outside our window?”

He could. In fact, he thought it sounded louder than usual – in a comforting way. He was hardly ever able to visit the ocean before he moved out of home. It took him years to realise that there was a beach in his hometown at all. It was one of the first things Ryker reminded him of after a nightmare.

“Jesus-fucking-christ,” he mumbled, slowly allowing his trembling hands to relax against Ryker’s grip. He could feel several tears beginning to well in his eyes, but it wasn’t so hard to push them down. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe I’m still… getting these nightmares. I thought they were done.”

“Unfortunately—” Ryker began, slowly wrapping an arm around Adam’s hunched shoulders as he spoke, “—it doesn’t quite work that way, though I wish it did. I think this is something we have to learn to manage, rather than stop all together. Both of us.”

I don’t wanna do this for the rest of my life. I can’t.

Adam nodded, tentatively wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist as they both laid back down against the sheets and pillows. “I guess so.”

“The fact that you can hug me right now means that you’re getting better,” Ryker commented quietly. His lips grazed Adam’s forehead as he spoke, and Adam found himself smiling, despite himself. “You couldnt’a done that a year ago.”

It was unfortunate, really. Ryker absolutely loved physical contact. He thrived off of it, far more than he did even before he began to resent it. He was grateful that he had Carlos now who, though he clearly had a fear of being touched, seemed to trust Ryker enough to initiate and receive hugs and hand-holding. It meant that he didn’t have to worry as much about leaving him craving intimacy when he couldn’t do it.

Though, Ryker was right in the end. He was getting better, even if just slowly.

-

Taglist: @whumpsday @whump-blog @emcscared-whumps @pigeonwhumps @sacredwrath @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpshaped @inkkswhumpandstuff @pumpkin-spice-whump @whumpycries @espresso-depresso-system @trans-writes @alexkolax @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question

(Ask to be added or taken off. The taglist is for the main story, along with any AUs, drabbles, etc.)

[tryingtimi]

2✨

Too Old For My Hometown

Air by BamBam. It's a bop, but I actually sneaked in another song for this snippet. Which is more fitting lol. It's HOLO by LeeHi. Also, lmao, this one is from last year. Anyway, it's a fun lil experiment for writing a tale that another person tells to others. Enjoy!

MODERN AU | METALSEA AU | FLUFF | ANGST, CUZ A BIT SAD | WC: 1513

Avelyn was that girl to Cronyl.

They met on a chilly spring day when the sun just touched the horizon to dive under. He’s been back in Anore for two weeks, yet he was still an outsider. His job didn’t change much, in fact, it lessened. In the city, he needed many sleepless nights to keep up with work. Here, however, he could have a sleeping break at lunch if he wanted to.

It should have been peaceful.

He should have enjoyed a little bit less after having such a busy life for years.

Still, he didn’t.

For Cronyl it wasn’t appealing how friendly the neighbours were. He didn’t like that everyone could know each other by name. He did not crave the peacefulness of a quiet and seemingly happy village.

Not after a bloody divorce anyway.

And so he remained the ridiculous lone wolf he always was, never chit-chatting, never blending. Helping out wherever he could nevertheless, despite his distaste of the place.

Because he liked the village as an environment.

The quietness and simplicity might not have been what he sought — considering how he would have drowned himself in work rather than thinking about Syonehlia — but the view, well, that was decent.

So, he walked home from work on the usual pathway — sunflower fields framing both sides, the lively people still far away. The wind cooled down the early spring’s heat, so Cronyl could stroll the way he preferred to do it; briefcase and jacket draped over his shoulder, hanging from his fingers, shirt’s sleeves rolled up leisurely. He was tired, though not the satisfying kind you feel after a busy day full of accomplishments. It was more what you would call numbness, if anything.

Cronyl closed one of his eyes when the sun decided to give them a proper showdown of sunshine as a slow goodbye.

He kept his stare at the sky, nevertheless.

It was a little thing he started when he moved back, and that still gave him some kind of comfort.

Sure, it was his hobby, if you will. And the very thing that almost cost his life. (Yes, baby. I’m overexaggerating for dramatic effect.)

Cronyl could faintly hear the rattling of the old bicycle which raced down from the nearby hill every day. Yet, he only noticed how loud it became, when a moderately high-pitched squeak squeezed out of the mess of blonde locks, as she collided with him.

Avelyn gifted a bouquet of bruises and two cracked ribs to Cronyl on their first meeting.

He always says he can still smell the frowzy dandelions that spread in the nursing room. You see, Anore was so small, that they had no proper hospital, only a rural nursing building. Which seemed to be enough most of the time, and this time wasn’t an exception either.

Cronyl still needed to stay in, which definitely dragged some grumbling out of him.

She visited from the first day.

Avelyn — as it turned out — was one of the neighbours’ daughters; a local since birth. She wore the gentle smile of the anorean, farmed so diligently as his father, and cooked so deliciously as her mother. Which she showed Cronyl as well when she brought him soup as an apology.

Avelyn didn’t leave without a scratch either. A scraped knee and some aching parts of her body weren’t as important in her eyes as Cronyl’s injuries.

She didn’t say a thing when she entered the room, only looked around and when she found a chair, she pulled beside Cronyl’s bed. Her eyes searched for his, serious and determined. Then, when her gaze met his cocked eyebrow, her features turned sheepish, a lovely shade of red dancing across her cheeks. (Mhm, I saw it, I was there.)

She came the next, the one after and every day again, until Cronyl was eventually released.

He didn’t know where to put her. Cronyl was not someone used to such care from strangers. It made no sense why she kept visiting him after he made clear it was nothing. She seemed shy, yet chatted with him as if he was a close friend. Amusement was what she brought to Cronyl, something he didn’t really think he would find in here. He quite literally awaited her arrival at the end.

She asked him out the day she walked him from the building.

Rejection isn’t something that usually follows this, right? Spring blossomed on the cherry trees around them, but the doom-and-gloom wasn’t over yet. The numbness I mentioned, remember? A divorce is a tricky thing to get over if you can at all. It’s a transition from being with someone every minute to coming back to your hometown, alone. It leaves you with the feeling as if something was missing, even though everything you had was with you. Makes you numb for a time, too.

This is why, Cronyl did not go out with Avelyn.

He’d always been a strong-headed nitwit, and it wasn’t Anore, his hometown that would make him change. Or so he thought. Standing beside the awkwardly smiling Avelyn, he only seemed to think that they weren’t teenagers anymore to start off like that. As if he was way too old for this little friendly town, where life was as simple as falling in love.

“Oh god, don’t look at me like that. I’d rather you just be angry than do the whole disappointed face,” was what he said to my reaction to the confession. As if being angry at him would have changed anything. Just like I said, strong-headed nitwit.

Life had so much more stored for them, though. Bumping to each other every corner even if they didn’t try to meet, living beside one another, never escaping the parents’ favours from Cronyl to come to them and help out. You’d think it was embarrassing for them.

And oh how wrong you would have been then.

Despite everything, Avelyn never treated Cronyl differently than before. She brought him lunch whenever he helped out on the fields, joked about their frequent accidental meetings, and kept being shy about how much she loved her kindergarten job. She asked and listened like no one in this little community. Cronyl, in return, grew a meadow of respect for her in his chest. Never too close, never too approachable, they became friends. His first friend, since he moved back.

The lengthening peach days of spring didn’t seem to go by as fast when they met. His walk home was accompanied by the quiet rattling of the bicycle as she joined to the daily routine. Cronyl still didn’t enjoy the lessened work and the all-time happy people. But, his numbness began to falter.

It took a year for him to realise that she must have been the cause of it.

A year, which after Avelyn seemed to leave work way too early. His routine turned to peeking inside the kindergarten after leaving his tiny, flat-roofed workplace, so he could notice it before everything. Smiling at his worry when he mentioned the change, Avelyn told him she’d tell him only when his numbness faded away completely. Because even then, Cronyl clearly lived a life among the greying clouds, sheltered from the bursting yellow fields.

Most moments come to us unnoticed. Good or bad, happy or sad, the most memorable parts of our lives can build up without us being aware of it. Inch by inch, it piles, until we stop and look at it. But we can only see the result.

That was exactly how Cronyl felt when after another half a year, he faced two things.

Firstly, Avelyn called in sick more times than she went to meet with the children. They met more and more along the way to the nursing building. She slowed, however much she smiled. Their time didn’t thin away, yet it was clear to him that she forced herself sometimes. He might have been dense, but he wasn’t stupid. His time was waning by the minute.

Secondly, Cronyl couldn’t remember how it felt to be numb anymore.

It surprised him so deeply, that he left work way, way too early. Even though I only heard about this from others, he actually went grocery shopping right after that. Some said he was more in a rush than a summer rain on a peaceful night.

Cronyl couldn’t hide his soft heaving when he just caught Avelyn leaving the nursing building. They almost bumped into each other, like they did so many times in the early morning market. Soup in his hand, a bicycle bell in the other, he stood before her, silent. The scent of dandelions danced them around, Avelyn’s bright face open with a question Cronyl answered the moment after.

And that, my darlings, is how your dad met your mother.

[azsazz]

Kind of a personal question so feel free to ignore it but have u ever dated anyone? What was ur first relationship like?

Oooh getting deep I see.

Sooooo, this is actually like not a great story...and i basically just word vomited my life on here 😅

TW: mentions of poor mental/physical health, cancer

Yeah, I've only been in one relationship and it lasted for 3 years (too long) lol.

It was great at the start. I'd met him when I went away for college and we were friends which is what I liked the most. We met at a karaoke bar my school had that my friends and I would go to every Thursday night and so would he and his friends so we all kind of became this large group that did that almost every week.

And it was my first relationship ever you know so I was all dumb and head over heels and the whole thing was just a mess looking at it now. My family and friends didn't like him and I became a terrible friend because I would basically spend all of my time with him and not them, so when we broke up I had like no friends of my own because we would only hang out with his friends and that's a whole other mess I won't get into haha.

But basically we were together and things just got worse and worse. He was very jealous and overbearing, had to know where I was and what I was doing all of the time and when we first got together he would tell me what he was doing all of the time and I'd be like okay? I don't need (or care) to know what you're doing all of the time, that was just a natural thing for him I guess. So then he conditioned me to basically be the same way and it was awful and I hated it.

Eventually, things were so stressful. I'd gained so much weight and I was deeply unhappy. All of my relationships were strained and I had no one to turn to. If we fought I'd basically have nowhere to go if I needed time to get away. He chased me down in his car once when all I wanted was some space to think.

Towards the end of our relationship I was literally the most miserable person ever. I hated everything and I started feeling even worse. I got a cold around my 22nd birthday and then that turned into something much worse. I kept getting sicker and sicker and I had no idea why. The doctors I went to thought I had an ear infection, then bronchitis, then that again. They just kept giving me medication for things that weren't helping.

I'd be freezing cold at night but wake up sweatier than ever.

And one day I literally just blurted out during a fight that we should just break up and then we did.

I lost like 30 pounds in a week but was sicker than a dog and I thought it was just because I was sad or whatever and I went to a therapist who literally said to me "Why are you so negative?" I'll never forget that. like lady i'm here to tell you about my problems what fucking part of that is positive?

Like legit I could barely go to class because I was so sick, I had no motivation to do anything. I'd go to class, come home, and go to bed. I barely even did homework because I had no energy.

I visited my brother at his school which was five hours from mine and my parents were there visiting him for a weekend and by the end when it was time for me to drive myself back I started bawling my eyes out and pleading to my parents that i didn't want to because I felt so awful it was the last thing I wanted to do.

Fast forward to thanksgiving break, i went to see another doctor in my hometown because I was still sick (so it started september and it was now november) and she said lets wait a few more weeks, see if this goes away and we'll check again at winter break (december).

So i go back to school and am miserable and finish my classes and I come home at christmas break and am trying my best to tough it out. I was literally the most miserable person on the planet i can't stress this enough how awful i felt. I had no energy to do anything, I'd be so angry at everyone for no reason, and I'd had a terrible cough, nothing was going alright.

At the time my two other siblings were still at school so it was my parents, my little brother, and i. My mom said "if you want to go to the hospital let me know." and i had a friend over at the time so i tried to tough it out but in the end i wanted to go to the hospital.

Basically they told me that I had stage 4 cancer (Non-Hodgkins lymphoma) and man I was in utter shock.

And then I had to leave school to get treatment so I moved back home for that.

So basically long story short I haven't been in a relationship (or even kissed/slept with anyone) since (4 years now, im 26 😳) because now I have this irrational fear that I'll get sick again or something and I just like don't even know how to talk to people or want to talk to them. And I just don't want any of that shit to happen again so idk what im doing with my life in terms of relationships lol.

But I've been in recovery since the middle of 2019 so I am very grateful for that.

sorry for the longest answer in the world that really took a turn. if you read all the way through thank you 💙

And if you should ever need someone to talk to about anything, I am here for you 100% 💙💙

[naturiisms]

if you’re hearing CAN U MEET ME THERE by ISSADORA AVA playing, you have to know AYANNA TAHERI (SHE/THEY; NONBINARY) is near by! the 23 year old has been in denver for, like, TWO MONTHS. they’re known to be quite UNPREDICTABLE, but being CHARISMATIC seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble KHADIJA RED THUNDER. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those PILES OF BOOKS ALL OVER THE PLACE, AN ICED COFFEE ON A SPRING DAY, FROLICKING THROUGH FLOWERS AND CONNECTING WITH NATURE vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around THE WOODS long enough!

STATISTICS:

full name: ayanna taheri

nicknames: yaya, yanna, sunny

birthday: february 2, 1997

hometown: ann arbor, michigan

occupation: social media manager at Green Thumb Cafe

hobbies: taking care of her houseplants, collecting books she'll never read, biking, hiking, and ceramics.

lives: the woods

BACKGROUND:

ayanna grew up in a typical suburban family with an older brother and two loving parents to dote on her. coming from a stable family gave ayanna the opportunity to hone their creative talents and push herself to become the best version. starting in ballet at 7, moving to gymnastics at 10, then flute and piano at 12, until they took their first art class at 14 where they realized this is where they could truly express themself. change is not an issue for ayanna if it means going after what she wants.

her next four years of high school were something she only imagined happened in movies. crossing the canadian border to visit art museums in ontario with their friends, going to local farmers markets on the weekends, submitting their art to competitions hosted by the school. finding the next adventure was always first on the list for her and her friends, academics usually falling second. they didn't do bad in school, but definitely had no interest in going to university since they'd only want to pursue art, anyway.

after graduating high school, ayanna found herself moving from her cozy suburban town and leaving all of her friends to go "find herself" on a cross country road trip. their parents bought and converted a van for her, and she set off on her drive to washington. along the way they stayed in various cities for different amounts of time, working odd jobs here and there. each city they went to, she found an art studio where she was able to continue creating and often left the pieces behind for the studio to share with others.

about a year into the road trip, still meandering through the country while they slowly made it to their destination, she found herself stopped in arizona where she parked her van for 2 years. it was here that they met their long time ex-partner, who they would finish their roadtrip with. they met at a ceramics studio, where she realized she was actually really good at it. after the first date they were practically inseparable, alternating between staying in her van or her partner's apartment. eventually, they downsized lyla's apartment and started the roadtrip to washington where they lived in a tiny house until they broke up a year ago.

after the breakup, ayanna spent the first few months renovating her van that hadn't been used in quite a while; only for camping trips or little roadtrips they planned. after she'd started picking her pieces back up and using renovation as therapy, they decided it was time to pick up and start a new adventure. this is how they ended up in colorado, spending 6 months in colorado springs before driving the van to denver 2 months ago. currently, she parks her van outside of their apartment at the woods where they plan to convert it into her own ceramics studio.

HEADCANONS:

ayanna got her job at Green Thumb Cafe by parking her van there the first two weeks she was in denver. she'd go inside every day for a little breakfast or lunch and eventually her and the owner got talking about the photos she'd taken of the cafe and the plants he could see from their van. she started a clipping trade day through instagram and has been the social media manager since.

they are seriously afraid of dogs but have a pet tarantula. logic? not here

favorite colors are sage green and lilac

she grows her own herbs and tomatoes and strawberries

[housegrouch]

July 2nd, early morning

I've decided to use this blog as a journal part-time whenever I have something on my chest I need to get rid of.

For the past 8 months (before May), I was a student in a course-based graduate program. I made a friend on orientation day in September, and we quickly became what I would call best friends. We talked on campus every day, and we had the same classes because our program was designed that way. I was glad that I had made a friend so quickly after moving to that city because I'm introverted and autistic and making friends doesn't come easily to me.

In May, we all split up to start our respective research placements for the summer. Almost all of us were doing them at different places, but most of us were doing them in a specific region. I am one of the students who is doing their placement quite far from the others - across the country, in fact. The last time we all hung out was at a potluck that I organized for our class back in April. At this potluck, my best friend told me (while tipsy) that she considered us best friends, the type that stay friends for years and years. I was glad that she'd said that, and so happy to be her friend. I haven't had that many friends in my life, and I've been bullied before by people who I'd previously called my friends. Before we all split up, she told me that we should video call each other weekly during our placements so we could stay in touch and update each other about our research.

Moving to my placement was difficult for me. Not just the move itself, but settling in as well. Any change to my routine is already difficult for me, so this major change to a place where I had no friends and no family was pretty much excruciating. I didn't have (and still don't have) a support system. In the last city I lived in (where I met this friend and started the program), I moved there with my dog, and it was a three-hour drive from my hometown, so my mother could visit me easily (and she did, many times). This time, because of the distance and the fact that my apartment building doesn't allow pets, I didn't bring my dog with me. I miss her terribly. I was expecting my friend to contact me the day I arrived, if not a couple days later, because that's what she said she would do. But she didn't.

I tried contacting her many times. I asked when she would be available for a video call. She would say "Oh, I'm free next Tuesday in the evening." I waited until then, but no video call. I let it slide the first couple of times because I knew she was busy with her placement. But I could see her stories on Snapchat and Instagram. She was out with her other friends every weekend watching local amateur car races (there's a special word for them - I can't remember what they're called), and it looked like she was having fun. To be honest, I don't really believe her when she says she's busy. So I stopped trying to reach out after a month of this. She never reached out to me first. In fact, it took her a month and a half after I moved her for her to text me first.

I'm left wondering if she was ever really my friend. Typing that really hurts me, but it's true. Because I would never treat her like this. I don't want to sound clingy, but I would have liked to stay in touch with her more often besides some distracted texts of "How's your placement going?" "Oh, it's going slowly. Kind of struggling to get by." The second text in this example of conversation is typical of what I would say to her. I even straight-up told her I was depressed and she said she couldn't answer right then because she was at her placement, but she would answer after she got home that evening. I never received her text, and she hasn't brought it up since.

Look, I'm not expecting her to be my therapist or anything. I don't want to talk to her about how I've been feeling since I got here. The two straight weeks of me lying on my bed in the dark, too depressed and paralyzed by executive dysfunction (I have ADHD as well, for which I'm not medicated due to issues with picking up my prescription in a different region than the clinic who originally prescribed the medication) to move or do anything. I don't want to tell her that it got so bad that I couldn't make myself things to eat, despite having a full refrigerator and cupboard of food. I ordered myself meals on a food delivery app, then left the garbage to rot (literally) on the floor of my room. I once tried an avocado milkshake of some sort, and hated it. Instead of throwing it out, I left it to sit on my desk. Over the days, the contents produced gas which burst the soft plastic "lid", letting fetid avocado juices run all over the desk and soak into my things which I'd left on the desk because I didn't have the energy to put them away. I don't even want to tell you about how my room smelled. I didn't shower for weeks, if not more than a month. I ran out of clean laundry because I couldn't make myself do my laundry in the basement because I could barely manage to wake up most days. I reeked, and I felt vile. I felt inhuman. I got sick twice (once with stomach flu, another with a pretty bad cold which may have been COVID, though I'm vaccinated against it) and I ate once a day. Just a 70-calorie can of chicken noodle soup. I felt like I was dying.

All I needed to hear was her (my friend's) voice. Don't get me wrong, it's not her fault that I was (and still am) this depressed. Having a video chat with her wouldn't have cured me, and I don't expect it to. I wasn't going to tell her any of this. I just wanted to feel some connection to a human being in my life. I have a roommate, but she spends all of her time with her boyfriend (who I don't like) and I don't like my roommate as a person anyway, so I would never consider being friends with her. I've gone days, if not a week at one point, without speaking to a single human being. Don't even get me started on the touch starvation. I've been very tempted to hook up with someone just to relieve that pain, but I've only done that once so far. It was a good experience, all things considered. But it still wasn't enough.

You could say that maybe my friend was also depressed or having a rough time, and that was why she wasn't answering my texts, "forgetting" to answer them, or too "busy" to video chat with me. If that's the case, all I would have needed from her is a simple "Hey, I'm not doing too well right now emotionally, so I may not be available a lot this summer to chat." That's it, that's all. But I didn't receive any kind of message from her like that. I would never, ever, tell her in real life how I really feel about her not holding up to what she said to me at the beginning of this summer and how much that hurt me. I would feel embarrassed and vulnerable if I told her something like that. It's one thing to tell her about how other people have hurt me (such as my mother, which I have told this friend about), but to tell her that she's hurt me to her face is another thing entirely. I'm scared that if I did that, she'd either try to excuse and/or explain it by saying that she was having mental health issues of her own (totally valid, I would just have appreciated more communication if that was the case) or just say that she didn't realize that I was lonely and that all I would have needed to do was straight-up tell her what I needed.

Respectfully, as an adult, I don't think I need to be the one to tell her (or anyone) this, that I was expecting clearer communication from her and that I wanted to talk to her more often as my friend. The onus should not be on me to deal with that. That is something that I think she should either already know or be able to figure out as a mature adult. I'm so fucking tired of people putting the onus on me in my life to deal with things that aren't my fault. Even though my mother is the one who hurt me so much and one could even say emotionally abused me, the onus is on me to deal with the pain through therapy (that I would need to pay out of pocket for, which I can't afford to do) and find a way to move out of her house (which she would never let me do permanently and which, again, I can't currently afford to do). Even though my mother has never genuinely apologized to me for her behavior and she continues to act that way, the onus is on me to deal with the pain and make sure that I don't do something harmful to myself because of it (I never have). The same applies to my father, except he's no longer in the picture because they're divorced and I stopped talking to him years ago (not that he ever talked to me much in the first place). I'm just so tired.

At the same time as all of this is happening, I feel like ridiculous pressures are being put on me. I have a research placement to complete, a final report to write, a presentation to prepare. I have to somehow pay rent each month, despite not having a job and having my mother get angry at me when I need to ask her for money each month to pay the rent. I have to deal with an emotionally abusive, narcissistic and controlling mother who keeps trying to micromanage my finances and gets mad at me when I so much as buy a cup of coffee without her permission. I have to eat. I have to find some loud music to listen to as my roommate has sex with her boyfriend two rooms away for the umpteenth time.

I'm just really fucking tired, and so, so angry, and there are a million things that I need to do for the research placement that I haven't been doing because I feel so depressed that I feel like my soul is screaming in pain every day. Except no one can hear it but me. And anytime that I've tried to tell my mother about any of this, she starts giving me "solutions" and "recommendations" that I didn't ask for to "solve the problem", but I never asked for that. All I ever wanted is for someone to listen to me.

[themculibrary]

Exes To Lovers Masterlist

all i'll never know is if you want me (ao3) - ilovethatforme mj/peter T, 7k

Summary: She locks her phone, sitting up on the couch as she frowns at him. It’s not her angry frown, it’s her disappointed frown. The one she always gives him. She gets off the couch, walking to her room and his chest aches as he realises he won’t hear her voice again today unless she calls someone from her room.

But she turns to look at him before she enters her room and he allows himself to hope. It’s foolish really.

“Don’t fucking talk to me.”

OR

Roommates after nwh

'cause I've got the love (ao3) - plutosrose steve/bucky E, 11k

Summary: Three months after breaking up with him to pursue his photography career, Bucky shows up on Steve's doorstep with an unexpected announcement - he thinks he's pregnant.

Come Loose Your Dogs Upon Me (ao3) - powerfulowl (StuckyFlangst) steve/bucky E, 57k

Summary: Steve’s gaze ran up and down across Bucky’s naked skin. Every time, no matter how many hundreds, maybe even thousands by now, times Steve had looked at Bucky naked, Bucky felt bashful and exposed. No one else had ever looked at him like Steve did, so slowly and deliberately, savoring every part of Bucky even though he’d tasted them so many times before.

-----

Bucky and Steve have been together for years - married in the Fall of 2011. Steve is sick a lot and Bucky works hard to support them both, spending weeks away from home, always coming back to Steve. But when Steve gets the opportunity to receive a new treatment, it will change everything - not just his body, but their relationship and the life they have together.

Exes and Doughs (ao3) - maximoffs steve/bucky T, 11k

Summary: Captain America could have decided to walk into any donut shop on that Tuesday afternoon, but he had to walk into Bucky’s. “Your life isn’t Casablanca,” Bucky said to himself, out loud, counting out the drawer in the back.

OR (to the tune of Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me"): He's a donut-maker and Steve's on the Avengers ♬ OR: Bucky Barnes, ex-assassin-turned-donut-chef, gets a visit from his ex-boyfriend-turned-protector-of-the-People, Captain America.

For the Summer (ao3) - CoraRochester, fadefilter, steebadore steve/bucky E, 44k

Summary: Fifteen years ago, Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes had been two teenagers in love, spending sweltering summers in Eagle Inlet, Steve's sleepy lakeside hometown way up in the Adirondacks. Sure, Bucky's rich family only came up in summertime, but they were off to college soon and they'd be together forever, right?

Not quite.

These days, Bucky's back in town for the summer and it turns out, some hurts—and firsts—are hard to get over.

... There was something venomous and fiery chasing itself through Steve’s veins, choking the life out of his common sense. He put a hand on Bucky’s waist, small and tight, shifting with Bucky’s quick breathing and he squeezed, trying to ground himself. It didn’t work. There was hardly any space left between them. Bucky’s hair brushed the tip of his nose. It was citrus and sweat and like a gut punch of memory. “We could see if I’m any better now,” Steve said. “I’ve had a little more practice since then.”

(if only in my dreams) (ao3) - jehans steve/bucky, natasha/sam E, 45k

Summary: Bucky’s eyes fall on a DM from a Twitter user that hasn’t ever interacted with his highly secret ‘model account’ — where, under the pseudonym ‘Winter,’ he teases and sells artistic photos of himself from the mouth down, in very naked and compromising positions — but one that he knows instantly. One that he knows well.

User @art_mad91. The dorkiest username in the world. A personal twitter account, with no real name attached to it, belonging to one Steven Grant Rogers.

Steve, Bucky’s best friend in the entire world, and the secret love of his life since they lost their virginities to each other when he was seventeen, just DMed Bucky on his porn account.

Shit.

i still miss someone (ao3) - powerfulowl (StuckyFlangst) steve/bucky E, 27k

Summary: Bucky Barnes left Steve Rogers at the altar on their wedding day. Years later he appears back in Steve's life, almost dead, in a hospital bed. A story of two broken hearts.

knew we'd be alright (ao3) - burning_brighter steve/bucky E, 82k

Summary: In 2012, Steve is a man out of time, trying to battle his demons and build a life in a new century when he meets Bucky, an FDNY Lieutenant helping with cleanup and rescue after the Battle of New York.

In 2014, Bucky is a fire Captain, trying to get his life back on track after a rough break up with his super soldier boyfriend.


Going back and forth between past and present, see how they fall in love, how their relationship falls apart and how it inevitably falls back into place.

Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now (ao3) - iam93percentstardust steve/tony E, 50k

Summary: Radio host Steve Rogers knows it's a bad idea to keep falling into bed with his co-host. He can list the reasons with his eyes closed: they work together, they already tried dating, their breakup had been so explosive they hadn't spoken or even seen each other in ten years despite working in a relatively small field - there are a million of them. But he can't seem to stop himself, and since Tony can't seem to stop either, surely it can't be that bad of an idea, right? It's just sex. It doesn't matter that he wants to stay, that Tony wants him to stay too. But when the owner of the station announces big changes coming to their show, Steve is forced to confront his lingering feelings for Tony - and whether he's waited too long to confront them.

Some Things Should Never Change (ao3) - spideysmjs mj/peter E, 20k

Summary: "She’d watch him love and protect the city for so long, right before her eyes and from hundreds of miles away. The city is Spider-Man’s responsibility, Spider-Man is Peter Parker, and Peter Parker is her responsibility."

Michelle Jones' life with Peter Parker through the years – she finds herself, loses herself, and finds herself along the way.

Space Oddity (ao3) - crinklefries, cyclamental art (cyclamental), nalonzoo steve/bucky M, 147k

Summary: After the world ends, things happen to Bucky in this specific order: he helps defeat Thanos, he rejects Steve’s attempt to address Feelings, he watches Steve volunteer to put the Infinity Stones back in time, he waits for Steve to come back, he is sad when Steve does not come back, he realizes that everyone thinks Steve disappeared in 2012 (???), he gets taken to space by Carol Danvers (!!!), he meets up with a depressed literal alien Norse God, he and the depressed literal alien Norse God travel through space, he and the depressed literal alien Norse God hit a wormhole and fall into the--Multiverse.

What the fuck.

This is the story of how Bucky and Thor pick up the pieces of their lives, find their own worth, find their own person, and find their way out of a multiverse of 100 realities stitched together with 100 tropes. There’s love, there’s friendship, there’s an extreme amount of Tesseract fuckery, but most importantly there are sexy vampires. Bon Appetit.

Stay Inside My Heart and Live Inside My Memory (ao3) - deadto27 steve/bucky M, 47k

Summary: The thing is, Bucky Barnes would have waited forever for Steve Rogers. He thinks he could have handled it. If only Steve had just compromised a little. But the thing is, he never did. And Bucky has to finally be strong, because they can't keep going like this. He can't. So he leaves. And now he's just left with memories.

-----

Steve clenches his jaw and goes for the box, unfolding the top flaps to see what’s inside. And what’s inside is…well, it somehow feels like all the oxygen leaves the room as he sees what’s inside. Because it’s his things and clothes and trinkets and memories. Things he left at Bucky’s place. Things he gave Bucky. Things Bucky treasured. Shoved into a box haphazardly.

Steve swallows as he stares at the items in the box, because suddenly this all makes sense and it’s the kind of sense that makes Steve feel a little like he’s dying. “D-did he say anything else?” he asks, voice cracking. “Bucky?” he clarifies. “When he was here?”

“Yes, Captain,” Friday answers. “He said to say goodbye.”

The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you (ao3) - Thorkyriebabes mj/peter E, 3k

Summary: When MJ comes careening back into his life a year after their post-highschool breakup, it’s easy to fall back into love (and bed) with her. It’s significantly harder to figure out the pattern of the mysterious murders that start popping up in the following months.

today must be my lucky day (baby, you are the prototype) (ao3) - tvfanatic97 mj/peter E, 10k

Summary: Or: A decade after breaking up, MJ is reunited with her ex when she finds him bleeding out in a dumpster, re-awakening dormant feelings.

when the chips are down (ao3) - brideofquiet steve/bucky E, 52k

Summary: “Steve, Christ, it’s just a small thing, okay? You don’t need to worry about me.”

“What if you end up back in prison?”

“I’m not gonna—”

“Well, how do you know that? Just tell me, or I’m gonna think you’re in with the fucking mafia or something.”

“Jesus, it’s not the mafia.”

“Gang. Drug cartel.”

“Oh, lay off! I’m fine, Steve, I’m not in a gang and I’m not going to end up in prison again. Please just calm down.”

“How do you know?”

Bucky exhales violently. His voice comes strained and halting through the phone. “Because—because I’m working for the guy who put me there last time.”

[very-grownup]

There's some rubbish going around the bird site about adults no longer asking their friends to help them move, because adults can hire people to do that and not have to ask and expect things from their friends.

I'm the friend who always needs help, as a single person without a car in a city with rubbish public transit, and attitudes like in the original OP have made it difficult for me to not feel like I'm a burden, a friend who can only take and never give.

My friends have helped me move, they've helped me build a fence, install flooring and drywall, paint walls, build bookshelves, get my animals to vet appointments, get me to medical appointments, get my prescriptions, get groceries, get to work, get a/c in my house. They've looked after my pets when I was away, they've taken me to post offices to pick up packages, they've kept me fed.

They picked me up from the hospital in the dark of winter when I'd go straight there from my 9 to 5 to spend time with my dying mother.

One drove me to our hometown the day my mother died.

One of my mother's friends went with us to the funeral home.

Two of my mother's friends took my brother and I to look at hand carved wooden urns.

One of my friends took me to pickup my mother's ashes from the crematorium.

Which of these things would it have been Right, Independent, and Adult to do without help? Which are the ones where the action and aid provided qualify as Acceptable Friendship?

I have helped friends move to the best of my abilities, but I don't feel what I've done and am able to do is "equal" to what they've done for me.

I sometimes do a friend's dishes when she's at work or order delivery for her.

I used to bake regularly and bring tins of cookies and bars to social gatherings as a matter of course.

I check on a friend's dog who's afraid of thunder during storms if my friend's working. I cuddle the dog until the storm has passed.

I'll let kids at a party monopolize me so their parents can visit.

I've done readings at weddings, even though I hate public speaking. I was best man at a wedding, even though I hate being perceived and ended up getting heat stroke. I've helped clean up after wedding receptions.

I've helped build a friend's fence.

I've looked over rental agreements and professional letters for my friends.

I've made decisions about where we're going, what we're doing, what we're eating (which I think is bullying, but others disagree).

I make sure my less tech savvy friend has adblocks and optimize her PC as much as possible.

All of these things are so minor and often feel like nothing, sometimes just things I was going to do anyway, and not equivalent to things that are done for me, that are /needed/. Like moving.

But you're not trying to solve for zero in friendship, just add what you can on the other side.

When I posted this on birdsite, a longtime friend replied to the final bit to tell me this was her reasoning behind the socks. The socks: every year since 2019 my friend has sent me socks at Christmas. This has been one of the high points of these Christmases, a friend I've never met sending me a package of socks, because Christmas 2019 was the first Christmas after my mother's death. It was the first Christmas I spent alone, the first Christmas I didn't spend in the house I grew up in, and within two weeks of Christmas would be the first anniversary of my mother's death. I was still in a powerful, early part of grief, even if I was no longer crying daily and nightly.

Amidst all the hard "firsts" you have to experience when you lose someone important and the difficulties inherent to culturally overwhelming holidays, at some point I tweetered from a place of genuine distress "How will I get new socks? Socks come from Mum at Christmas. You don't /buy/ socks."

So my friend sent me socks for Christmas. Because I was grieving and upset and she couldn't "fix" those things. But she could make sure I had new socks.

I'm crying writing about it because the small and simple act of "send Ingrid some socks" was and is huge. It was comfort and love and practicality and having my pain being seen and recognized without diminishing it and it was something to open on Christmas day all by myself and to hold and be real and present and it's become a small new Christmas tradition in the years since.

But for her it was just "I bought some socks online and had them sent to Ingrid". When that's on my side of the friendship equation, it's momentous.

And the way it makes me feel can't be substituted with me buying myself new socks.

[thinktosee]

A Cherished Time in Singapore

Two months ago, after finishing a one-week trip to my hometown in Quảng Ngãi Province to visit my Dad, I also considered visiting Dad Mohan in Singapore during the first week of August leading up to the National Day on August 9, 2024. This was a short but welcomed break after my two-month teaching summer course at school. Fortunately, dad did not have many plans during that time, so I was able to stay with him and Aunt Edna. This was to be my second visit to Singapore. The first was to attend and to take enormous pleasure in sister Sara and Hugh’s beautiful wedding last year. 

As always, dad is a superbly thoughtful person. Thanks to his enthusiastic support during my stay in Singapore, I had an amazing time learning new things and expanding my horizons on topics I had never experienced before.

I must admit that I’m slow at getting things done, which has led me to develop the habit of staying up late. While everyone in the house was asleep, I would still be awake until almost 2 a.m. I was a bit worried that I wouldn’t be able to get up early in the morning, and, as expected, I really could not. I ended up sleeping until almost 10 a.m. every day. However, dad just told me to rest well since it was my holiday, and there was no need to rush. I felt truly relieved, as he was just like my mom. She knows I have to wake up early every weekday to go to work, so she always lets me sleep as much as I can on weekends.

During my stay, Dad Mohan and Aunt Edna accompanied me to lots of intriguing places, like Universal Studios Singapore, East Coast Beach, Pasir Ris Park, Jewel Mall, and more, which filled me with joy and excitement. Each destination offered a unique experience. At Universal Studios, I loved the thrilling rides (if the queue wasn’t too long, I felt like I could ride them again and again). I also loved seeing adorable minions everywhere, as though I was lost in the Minion World. The serene beauty of East Coast Beach provided a peaceful contrast however. At Pasir Ris Park, I delighted in the lush greenery and had fun encounters with several adorable animals, like turtles (it was the first time I saw so many turtles swimming!), fast-running squirrels, otters and even an enormous monitor lizard swimming by—it was super large, and I felt both excited and a little scared! 

Jewel Mall has always dazzled me with its stunning architecture and indoor waterfall; no matter how many times I visit, I’m still truly impressed by its design. Visiting Little India and Arab Street was an exciting and vibrant experience. I felt as if I were in India for real, haha. The rich colors, aromatic spices, and bustling markets in Little India left me with a sense of wonder and excitement. Arab Street's mix of modern and traditional elements, along with its stunning street art and architecture, left me inspired and energized. I also revisited Fort Canning Park to finally see the tree tunnel, which was under construction during the first visitl. These outings were not just fun but also incredibly enriching, as I learned so much about Singapore’s culture, nature, and innovation. At each place, dad always shared many stories about his experiences there with his kids, along with interesting information about those places. Listening to him, I was exceedingly impressed by his keen knowledge. On top of that, I noticed that whenever he shared something, he tended to include historical evidence and examples to back up what he was saying. That’s truly something admirable and worth learning from.

Apart from visiting Singapore this time for leisure, I was especially privileged to have the opportunity to visit Julia Gabriel Learning Center in bustling Orchard Road, where David used to attend his drama course. The appointment provided me with an invaluable chance to enrich my teaching practice as well as to expand my horizons with new perspectives and methodologies that I am eager to implement. Additionally, my circle of friends has grown as I made a new friend, Huda, there. Even though we have just met, she has been very kind to me.

During this visit, I also tried a wide variety of delicious foods. Of all the dishes, I was most impressed by the Indian cuisine, at Banana Leaf Apolo along Race Course Road, with its strong and spicy flavors that I quite liked. Another delightful discovery was my newfound love for raw white radish, thanks to Emily. She prepared a truly delicious dinner with it, paired with some fried fish. Although I’ve eaten white radish many times before, this was the first time I had it raw—it was fresh and cool, and I found it surprisingly enjoyable. I also had the chance to try some Malay and Chinese cuisine, and I liked them all; they were all quite delicious. When Huda and I met for lunch at Penang Culture, she invited me to try some Malay dishes, including assam laksa (the only name I remember from the meal because I felt like I could eat more than two bowls of it, haha) and several other flavorful dishes. Additionally, I enjoyed the ribs soup that Aunt Edna made for dinner—it was incredibly delicious and packed with nutrients. On top of that, the beverages that dad mixed for me—whiskey with soda and Tanqueray with tonic —were perfectly suited to my taste.

Thank you, Dad Mohan, for taking me to so many wonderful places during my visit. Whether it was patiently waiting for me to finish my appointments or making sure I was well-fed with delicious meals, your care and attention made every moment special. I’m grateful for the new things you taught me, from sharing your knowledge about the fascinating places we visited to guiding me through my workouts at the gym. I also can’t forget the thoughtful gift you brought me from Japan—a box of Snoopy assorted sweets, which were super adorable and mouthwatering. For all these things and more, thank you for letting me enjoy my stay to the fullest.

I also want to express my deepest gratitude to Aunt Edna for taking such wonderful care of me throughout my visit. Her companionship was invaluable; she was with me every step of the way, making sure I felt comfortable and at home. I quite enjoyed traveling by MRT, as it is fast and convenient, and with aunt’s help, I’ve become more confident in navigating it on my own. She also has a real talent for photography, capturing exactly the angles I described to her and taking lots of beautiful photos of me. Beyond that, aunt is an excellent cook, always preparing delicious meals. Her attentiveness and skills made my stay in Singapore even more memorable, and I’m truly grateful for everything she did for me.

Overall, my visit to Singapore once again, was a deeply fulfilling experience. Being in the company of such thoughtful and generous people made me feel cherished and supported every step of the way. It was a journey that enriched my mind with new perspectives and left me with lasting memories. The entire experience left me feeling exhilarated and grateful for the opportunity to explore and discover new things.

-  Anh Vuong

Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam