#but i would take any excuse to shit on the American government

[qqueenofhades]

One of my biggest annoyances is leftists and communists beinging up Biden’s tweets during the 2020 campaign of things he said he would do, and being like “see?? he didn’t deliver on anything and this is why you shouldn’t vote for the Dems again” Like, for all the understanding they seem to have of communist or marxist or whatever theory, the idea that the President is not a king and can’t do whatever he wants without Congress’s approval is lost on them?? He still believes in those things but if Congress won’t pass the legislation what is he supposed to do? EOs won’t solve all our problems.

Yeah. Not even to mention, the claim that "Biden hasn't done/delivered anything!!!" is a big fat lie, as people keep pointing out the things he has done, with a razor-thin House majority (until 2022) and two "Democratic" senators who torpedoed everything and one of whom has now literally left the party (Manchin and Sinema). So while Online Leftists obviously don't understand the difference between "achieving all of his campaign goals" and "achieving some," for the last frikkin time, Biden has done a lot of good things in very bad circumstances!!!!!! Using "he didn't do everything!!!!" as an excuse to not vote and so enable the open and unrepentant fascists is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard!!!!

Like. Take the debt deal. As in other things, Biden clearly learned from Obama's mistake (which was believing that the Republicans would ever negotiate in good faith about anything, and/or would reciprocate in kind if Biden made concessions). McCarthy whined for WEEKS that Biden wasn't listening and wasn't talking to him and wasn't entertaining his ridiculous proposals (22% cuts in ALL discretionary/non-military spending, including Social Security, Medicare, etc etc, while preserving the giant Trump tax cuts for the rich.) No matter that a full one-quarter of the national debt ($7.8 trillion of $31 trillion) was racked up under Trump and the debt ceiling involves paying bills that have already been spent. No sir, those Damn Free-Spending Democrats wanted to use your money on icky things like ~social welfare!! It was mean and it was hypocritical and it was blindingly obvious, and Biden just completely ignored it. He didn't try to negotiate in good faith with that, because there was no way it would work. He just let them whine.

Then, when it came down to it, Biden went in and got a deal that preserves pretty much all of the Democrats' major legislative priorities and expansions from the last two years. The only real change is raising the work requirement age for childless adults on SNAP food assistance from 49 to 54, but this has also been accompanied by a corresponding expansion of the definition "homeless" to make more people eligible, some for the first time ever. There's not going to be any major new spending for the next two years, but that wasn't happening anyway since the GOP controls the House and wouldn't agree to anything Biden put in the budget (and plus, none of the money that has already been allocated through the American Rescue Plan and other federal assistance is getting taken away). But more importantly, it raises the debt ceiling for the next TWO years and it won't come up again until after 2024. That is HUGE: the GOP really, REALLY wanted to hold the economy hostage again prior to the next presidential election. But Biden basically went in and told McCarthy to stfu and got what he wanted. Qevin was even forced, after months of "Sleepy Joe" GOP propaganda, to call Biden "very smart and very tough" in the negotiations. Soooo.

Anyway, this is what I mean: this isn't as sexy and/or as utterly fucking useless as spouting lukewarm rebaked "Marxist" propaganda on the Twittermachine about how Biden hasn't done anything, but it's the actual nitty-gritty work of government and flat-out beating the Republicans. They got absolutely shit-all that they wanted, because Biden didn't fall for their same old, same old dirty tricks and disingenuous squealing. He went in, got the job done, and will get way less credit for it than he deserves, from anyone. Dunno about you, but I like that guy. I plan to vote for him again.

[hueberryshortcake]

"And if you ever get a war without blood and gore / I'll be the first to go"; An Exploration of Draft-Dodging Activity in DuckTales Characters

Abstract

Obviously we're all asking ourselves this question: Would Scrooge McDuck be a draft dodger? I endeavor to answer this question to its furthest extent, and to expand upon these implications and the potential actions of his comrades were they in danger of being drafted.

Some notes:

It is past my bedtime and this is probably significantly less funny than I think it is but I'm a history major who knows slightly more about this topic and the "duckverse" as it were than I probably should; additionally, I am using this as an opportunity to pretend that I'm not supposed to be reading Descartes right now. god i love my life

listen to Draft Dodger Rag by Phil Ochs for the full experience. I too have a wracked up back, am allergic to flowers and bugs, get epileptic fits when the bombshell hits, and am addicted to a thousand drugs.

if I get canceled for this at least I'm going out with a bang

I said ducktales in the title as an attention grabber but I'm not working exclusively with dt17 characterization or context. I'll probably use what I know best which is the shows and a smattering of American comics

im american obviously

"what war are they drafting for" idk maybe it's peacetime maybe It's a wwii scenario maybe [elroy patashnik voice] It's Vietnam Baby! maybe I'm making shit up idk use your imagination don't think about this too hard or take it too seriously [<- guy who spent 3+ hours writing + read an essay about Thomas Hobbes to put this together]

Scrooge McDuck

Okay so. Obviously he is technically elderly and also has bad eyesight so like he wouldn't have to. Let's ignore these factors because it's way more fun.

For at least half his life Scrooge has the funds to discreetly buy his way out of military service. However, it is a well-distinguished trait of his that he refuses to use his wealth as a ladder to success. Given this, it is easy to conclude that he would use his hardworking grit or whatever and con his way out of the draft the good old fashioned way. He could fall back on any existing or faked conditions but I'd prefer to think he'd end up doing something round-about and ridiculous because it would be way funnier.

Additionally:

if my meaning is caught here.

Conclusion:

dodger

Goldie o'Gilt

Any and every iteration of Goldie can and will dodge the draft by any means necessary. The more dastardly, the more fun it will be for her. She will bribe an official. She will seduce an official. She will claim conscientious objector status despite having little-to-no qualms about violence [citation needed]. Barks' Goldie will be so so so sad and pitiful and say think of the orphans. 1987 Goldie will shoot any government official who tries to come collect her. 2017 Goldie will do whatever is most entertaining to her at any given time.

[Footnote: Maybe she's Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. idk]

Conclusion:

wholehearted dodger

Bentina Beakley

(Within 2017 context) this question is difficult for me to answer. Yes she is old. No she is not physically unfit. No she is not huge on deception. Yes she loves rules. No she probably is not excited about the government or the military. Yes she is, it you will excuse my being so blunt, a girlboss.

My conclusion?

I know she's an elderly British woman but Bentina Beakley IS Captain America

Conclusion:

Not a dodger

Huey, Dewey, and Louie

In the time of Vietnam my grandparents may or may not have snuck drugs to someone so that when the government went to do their medical examination this person was having wacked up symptoms and they were presumed to be unfit for service. Barks' triplets especially would be doing this sort of thing all over the place (see "Gladstone Returns" (1948)). The 1987 triplets could be convinced to act similarly.

The 2017 triplets may also do this, but it would inevitably play out differently, as former incarnations of HDL have generally relied on them as a unit to interact with other characters and plot elements, while the 2017 boys' strength is largely in their interpersonal dynamics; as such, there would be significantly more push-and-pull between the three of them narrative-wise. I could theorize further but I don't really feel like it.

Suffice it to say: No but only because they're perpetually twelve.

[Footnote: the Quack Pack (1996) triplets are more likely to be in the running for the draft (they're old enough to drive by the time the show takes place, so they're likely 16 or 17. The US conscription cutoff was lowered to 18 in 1942. They had better be damn careful). As Huey explained his plans to get out of military service, Louie would say, "Do you guys ever think that by conning our government we're breaking the social contract we've created with our sovereign authority and actually betrayed the self-preservation we're claiming to protect, much like Thomas Hobbes outlined in his 1651 novel Leviathan?" at which Huey and Dewey would look at each other and then say "what's your point" and that would be that. For the purposes of this exercise you may exclude them from your rankings now.]

Conclusion:

Not dodgers but only by technicality

Gyro Gearloose

Much like Leon Theremin Gyro would be pulled from a gulag and forced to create devices to aid the USSR cause.

[Footnote: if i remember correctly the USSR killed all the scientists and or put them in gulags and then got confused when they didn't have any scientists to help them against the US in the cold war. lmao.]

[Secondary footnote: Yes that was the guy who invented The theremin. he also invented a listening device that was hidden in the white house]

[Tertiary footnote: Gulag kermit]

Conclusion:

Not a dodger but mainly on threat of death

Flintheart Glomgold

yeah

Conclusion:

Dodger

Gladstone Gander

Gladstone would dodge the draft if he had to but his luck would result in his lottery never being pulled and/or the government losing his profile. Donald would be so fucking mad.

Conclusion:

fuck I ran out of space for pictures. I'm doing some of these out of order [dodgeball.jpg]

Dodger but on a technicality

Fethry Duck

Fethry is perpetually a college student and also (points to beatnik archetype) probably stoned out of his mind at all times. I claim the "addicted to a thousand drugs" clause.

Conclusion:

dodgeball.jpg

Dodger but not maliciously

Launchpad McQuack

I haven't watched Gomer Pyle since I was like 10 and I remember almost nothing from it but I feel like that would be his experience

Conclusion:

rosie.jpg

Not a dodger

Webbigail Vanderquack

she is 12 years old

Conclusion:

rosie.jpg

Not a dodger

Donald Duck

I'm saving my favorites for last. I know you've all been waiting for them. here are the Duck twins

2017 Donald I'm gonna be real I'm not really sure. 1987 Donald joins the military on purpose. Quack Pack Donald would really really really not want to and would probably try to dodge in the saddest most cowardly ways possible (I support him). he could and would fake an injury, any of those old cartoon-esque tricks. I feel Barks Donald may fall into this category as well.

Donald is Schrödinger's serviceman; he both is and is not a part of the military at any given time. Like the gods of old, his mythos transcends the limits of many labels and characteristics. He would love to serve his country; he hates doing things for other people and being told what to do. He feels a sense of duty; he is beholden to no one but his hammock.

[Footnote: Here the author would encourage the reader to ponder the wonders of homosexuality in the American Navy of yore. Okay cool moving on]

Conclusion:

man idk

Della Duck

Della would have no qualms about resisting the draft. Drawing on the Phil Ochs song for inspiration, possible methods include:

being 18

(pretending to have) bad eyesight

flat feet (all ducks have flat feet....)

asthma

getting a boyfriend

poor old invalid aunt (read: claiming to be caretaker for scrooge, who is soooo old and frail and can't be left alone, come on guys)

college student

working in a defense plant

allergic to flowers and bugs

addicted to a thousand drugs

Additionally,

Straight up just not showing up when conscripted

Claiming to be homosexual (she doesn't have to be lying)

Convincing the medical examiner that she's hysterical

Bribery I guess but it's kind of tactless

Becoming pregnant with triplets

HOWEVER.

and I have considered this extensively.

her ass would join the air force. like for funsies. now to be honest this is like a really really really bad idea in war time because if you've ever looked at the statistics (I have) "As Donald L. Miller writes In *Masters of the Air*: "By the end of the war, the Eighth Air Force would have more fatal casualties—26,000—than the entire United States Marine Corps. Seventy-seven percent of the Americans who flew against the Reich before D-Day would wind up as casualties.""

like. not a great choice

[Footnote: at this point my thought process is almost entirely centered around the 40s]

As a result I feel that Della may let herself get involved in the war effort in some capacity (ie nursing (she would hate this), working in a factory (she would hate this), being a test pilot like the WASPs (she would love this but everyone would hate her bc she's reckless and insane), or being an air force pilot if able. she would do this to be sooooo bisexual

generally speaking I feel the second that she was put into active combat or got bored she would desert immediately

Conclusion:

cupcakeinthemiddleofabarrenwasteland.jpg

Deserter!

In closing,

I spent three hours compiling this and I have more thoughts that I could have added but left out for the sake of brevity (ie thoughts on Daisy and the USO)

I'm sorry that I think draft dodging is funny it runs in my family idk

war is bad

not a huge fan of the draft either

big fan of Phil Ochs though. my mom makes me perform that song when we have guests over

scrooge mcduck says don't trust the government. or do I'm not your boss

this concept got out of hand so quickly. so quickly.

I hope this post is not a cancelable offense but if I go down for speaking the truth I'll do it with my head held high

I am going to go eat microwave ramen [it is midnight and I have to leave at 8:30 so I'm really cutting it close here]

[jacensolodjo]

I really need people to stop with 'Russians gave up protesting after being knocked down so often'. Or any other variety of 'poor Russians'.

Like do you HEAR yourself? Do you even have an IDEA of how stupid that is? Yes, everyone has their breaking point but not an entire population.

What you are describing is more accurately "anticipatory obedience". By claiming defeat before you even start, you show the people who shouldn't have power how far they can go. A lot of these groups don't start out going 'hell yeah we're so badass we're so strong no one can stop us we're going to pull out all the stops ASAP'. They're going to be gradual. And it is the population's choice to push back or to just live life on their knees.

No group is powerful enough to suck the strength out of a population the moment they appear.

The NKVD is considered as bloodthirsty and murderous as they are because they executed nearly a million people in the time they were an entity. They chose to do it. They executed people face-to-face through their own initiative. Wanna know how we know? Because they'd shoot people in the street at the slightest provocation. Sound familiar? Yeah, Russians have been doing it again in Ukraine, just full on executing innocent civilians for no reason whatsoever. Even ones in surrender pose.

You get knocked down you get right the back fuck up again. Russians decided en masse they liked the new status quo. Russians hate that Ukrainians don't.

The West called Ukraine the 'most corrupt nation' but I guess they weren't paying attention to Ukrainian response to said corrupted government: it's called Euromaidan. And indeed, how could it be the most corrupt when you literally have Russia right the fuck there anyway? Every election is bought. Russians continue to love the status quo.

They just don't like it being brought up. They don't like being named guilty. They would rather make excuses than do anything remotely useful. To say nothing of their 'supporters' (seriously how do you continue to support a group like this at every opportunity but revile any other group who does the same shit? How do you sleep at night?)

Ukrainians fixed the problem of a corrupt leader. And, hey, so did Americans. Big Orange got ousted at the next election.

But where is Putin? Still in power. Sham election or not, there are other ways to overthrow leaders. Ukrainians showed Russians the way. But I guess Russians left their pen and pad of paper in their other pants.

Putin has been in power since 1999. Russians have had 2 1/2 DECADES. That doesn't happen unless you're really comfortable with the status quo. And don't give me 'but the USSR lasted--" there's a real big difference between gov't and leader so please. Or, perhaps more importantly: Russians have a history of being comfy with the status quo. They have been butthurt since 1991 when Ukraine declared independence. Because, again, Ukraine shows the way but Russians leave their note taking tools elsewhere.

Easier to die mad about it than to do something constructive, I guess.

[goldmanguyperson]

(post features potentially triggering and general uncomfortable content under the manifesto section)

small byf i probably shouldve put earlier: I might sometimes post musings about sexual ideas and i will be horny on main sometimes, but i will always tag it properly. i also have exclusive tag “#gold goes crazy on main” that you can blacklist if you dont wanna blacklist the more general tags for your own reasons

if i sound mad in here its because i hate how this kind of stuff is dealt with on the wider internet. sorry

If your dni has an identity that i identify with on there then know i am not not interacting with you out of respect, i am not interacting with you because you are a fucking asswipe. Be a better person. People who believe they know more about me than me, or use trauma as an excuse to be bigoted and stay bigoted, do not have my respect.

If i block you, it’s because of the above. or i just found you annoying

intro post for NERDS!

im gold just call me gold. Or, my other names include tank and any model/(appropriate) nickname of tank, plane, or nuclear bomb (aside from fat man or little boy or enola gay for hopefully obvious reasons). i will respond best if it is very clearly directed at me or is one of my favorite vehicles/bombs: tsar bomba, kv-1, molodets, locust, chaffee, whatever whatever

my pronouns are he/him (normal caps), He/Him, and HE/HIM. i stole pronouns from god and HIM from the powerpuff girls

trans and gay full of autism adhd yum

im a shapeshifter otherkin. I am alterhuman for all these things (swings between kin, hearted, and link): birds, machines, and ‘pedes (millipedes and centipedes). But really, i can be anything. i have experienced a whole range of nonhuman stuff, cuz shapeshifter. if i post in a more specific tag know i am not attempting to like… invade, or anything. i mean for one i think thats stupid and for another i do actually be feeling that way

Russia place/countrykin. not a putin supporter or even a nationalist; Слава Україна. more connected to the land and its “memories” than anything else. if this confuses you please read my post: Nationalists do not love their country

i am plural. im fuckitgenic. you dont get to know how traumatized or not i am, cuz i dont even fucking know either. I don’t even think it’s that relevant. I am because i am, we are because we are, trying to look back into this life to see why it turned out this way is, in our opinion, just not fucking worth our time.

You probably wont see my headmates here as they struggle to form words for outside use, but you still might.

headmates you might see include:

The Eagle (he is a bald eagle)

The Nothing Beast (a big jet black dromeosaurid-like monster with back spines. actually quite nice. speaks in all caps)

Sputnik-1 (introject of the satellite). Profile is @satellite-one!

Bear (a spirit bear. might come off a bit mean. Bear is often just trying to protect us, but Bear also struggles with friendly or respectful communication)

Bat (We don’t know much about him. he hides away a lot)

Alan @amcomputer

if you start complaining about “uehhh but i have to know if youre traumatized to know how valid you are!!!” im going to skewer you like a shrike. we do not take kindly to prescriptive labeling.

i am posic (Perception of Object Sentience, Individuality, and Consciousness). I don’t believe objects speak to me and i dont believe they are externally alive, but i feel like they should be. it happens especially with military vehicles and nuclear missiles. when i look at them i feel a similar sense of life i feel when i look at an animal. is it weird? Oh yeah. It is. i have thought about this a lot and i can expand on it in another post if wanted.

im also objectum and conceptum tbe american flag is my boyfriend im sorry… I hate the government and i hate borders and i understand it would be better for countries to not have influence over material reality and all that shit (i am an anarchist. winning) but countries as a concept beyond reality are really important to me please understand. nationalists hate him (me) actually

carrd (mentions nsfw topics)

neocities (wip)

tags

#shut up! the eagle’s talking! - essays and personal experiences

#this is chrome ball radio - My headmate Sputnik’s thoughts and feelings.

#gold goes crazy on main - mentioned above. though not actually just plain horny stuff, more for musings that may be sexual and have to do with me personally and I GUESS I LIED!!! ITS HORNY

#and that eagle? well. hah. It was me - just stuff about eagles. Any kind. i love eagles

#falconer hood experiences - Dreams that i have. theyre crazy. you will want to read

#galaxies of valleirkro - My spore stuff.

#galaxies of valleirkro references - Characters and species in the spore stuff

manifesto (sort of like a dni + its opposite but i actually explain things to ease my anxiety and autism) if you dont wanna read this thats fine but dont be surprised when i say something you dont like lol

Almost anyone is welcome here. But if you believe that you know more than other people do about their own identity then go away. Disgusting shit. Begone

that being said you cannot change your race. racial emotional limbo should only belong to people who are mixed race. You can find ways to participate in another culture without being the race often associated with it. many people would be much happier to show you their culture if you weren’t trying to identify as the race associated with it. Begone

I cant believe this is something that needs to be said anywhere but if you are an apologist for imperialism, capitalism, or authoritarianism, or are otherwise a supporter of any of this shit, fuck you. Begone

go away if you indulge in zoophilic or pedophilic content. hope it’s obvious why. indulging in lusting after real ass living beings who cannot consent is fucking weird as shit. Begone

transage is fine. its not about pedophilia, that is a 4chan smear campaign cuz they thought it was fucking weird. it is about age regression and trauma and that kinda shit. Also the things we associate with certain ages are socially constructed and so like idk, fuckin whatever dude. Begone

if you think age regression is bad then you do not know what it is. it is also not pedophilic in nature, it is often about comfort and often is a trauma or anxiety response. Please research and talk to real people before assuming something is bad just cuz it sounds weird. Begone

mspec lesbians are cool. “contradictory” labels are cool. my (real physical person) boyfriend is every letter of the queer alphabet and every person who hates a contradictory label will face our combined wrath. Begone

medicalism die begone. scientists do not know everything and often even science itself goes against “medicalist” beliefs. Minds are actually super crazy and weird and science understands this. If you are happier, or more at peace, and more able to understand and work with yourself because of a label and the support that comes with it then it is a good one.

^ includes “not supporting” endogenic systems by the way. Begone

creating headmates is fine (i think most of my headmates were accidentally created) but tulpa terminology is based upon a pretty heavy series of cultural appropriations of Buddhism (have you ever heard of “chakras are connected to your organs”? yeah. thats not true. thats a western idea that comes from the kinda colonial concept that we can force an eastern religion into the originally western conception of science as almighty truth that everything must tie to to be considered real by anybody, and the western idea of tulpas are mainly from this version of buddhism). Asian religions and cultural practices are already a really big target for western cultural appropriation, maybe we shouldn’t add to that, okay? i mean i wont tell you to go away like i have for the others here. and i actually wont tell you that its absolutely not okay because this is a pretty complex little cranny of reality. but i do ask you to perhaps be a little more conscious of how this stuff all connects

it is okay to be wrong

bangalangadooda

[pvtjxker]

A proper lady.

Donny Donowitz x OC

Written with the help of @saltynametag !

Warnings: none! Just a bit of tention :) (and a fascist perv)

English is not my first language (I'm from pizza country) so have pity of me q-q

Gif by me! <3

Mariangela was in disbelief.

They made her come down all the way for her dear Apennines and abandon her beloved brigade, put her on a train full of fascists for two full days and made her walk for four more, only for her to end up in Bumfuck Nowhere, France. And for what?

To join a platoon of disorganized degenerates, infiltrating swanky Nazi parties for intel?

Not exactly what she pictured when she got the letter from the US army... “fight the Nazi forces”, yeah right.

At least they didn’t touch her explosives, still safely tucked away in her suitcase. She looked at her reflection in the mirror; an expensive dress, silk maybe? Fuck if she knew, it was a gift, courtesy of the American government. She touched the delicate necklace hanging from her strong peasant neck, grimacing at the scars on her hands and face. She struggled with the eyebrow pencil, carefully drawing where her brows had been singed.

Everyone would know; these fancy things didn’t belong to her.

A knock on the door startled her,

“Y’done in ‘ere, miss?”, Aldo was growing impatient.

Mariangela tried fixing the smudge on her forehead, “Not yet.”

“Women...”

She recognized the other voice, shouting back, “Shut the fuck up, Omar!”

“I’m-a sorry, bella principessa, take-a all-a da time-a you need-a!”

In the few days they’d worked together, he’d latched onto her accent as a source of mockery. She sighed, smoothing out the burned ends of her hair and grabbed her purse, making sure her little Lugher was wedged between her compact and forged papers.

As she stepped out, Aldo let out a low whistle,

“Boys”, he gestured dramatically, “our lovely Miss Rah-vee-nah.”

The Basterds chuckled. She wasn’t so easily flattered,

“I look like shit.”

“Language, missy”, Aldo scolded, “S’a fancy party full-a fancy wiener eatin’ schnitzels and yer a proper lil’ lady, understand?”

She. would. rather. Die.

She opened her mouth to tell Aldo to fuck off, like the proper lady she was, when her eyes fell on Donny...

Oh Donny...

Her forbidden fruit...

As if he wasn’t handsome enough in army green or that goddawful wife beater...

But, God... did he look good in a suit.

Aldo’s gruff voice snapped her out of her daydream,

“Ev’ryone good on the plan?”

Donny nodded, a curl coming loose from his slicked back hair, “Me, you ‘n’ Omar work for Mari. Hugo ‘n’ Wicki are Gesta-fucks and Smitty stays back with the rest, case shit hits the fan.”

Mari nodded, distracted by that damn curl on his forehead when he offered her his arm,

“M’lady”, he said playfully.

She giggled like an idiot, “M’lord...”

“Questi crucchi non hanno proprio gusto...”

These Krauts have no taste at all...

Mariangela muttered under her breath as she took a sip of what the waiter called “champagne”... piss water, more like.

Her arm was still looped with Donny’s, trying to keep her cool and pass him off as her date. Looped was perhaps a generous way of describing it; her nails were dug into the fabric of his suit, making him wince,

“Watch it, my arm’s still attached, y’know...”

She jumped and smoothed his sleeve out, “Sorry... I’m nervous.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell”, he joked.

His playful demeanour put her at ease, and she even managed to crack a small smile, despite her dress nearly choking the life out of her. Who was in charge of tailoring, anyway? Had they ever met a woman? She took another sip of piss water and caught a glimpse of Hugo, who wasn’t any better off than she was. He looked like he was seconds away from ripping the clothes off his back and fighting everyone in his birthday suit. And honestly? She wouldn’t blame him. Flitting through the crowd of fascist, covering for Omar and Aldo’s terrible excuse for Italian accents, smiling...

She was going insane.

At the very least, it was all going smoothly.

“Mi dicono che lei è italiana, sì?”

They told me you were Italian, right?

A man, in a carefully pressed fascist uniform with hair as shiny as his boots, caught Mariangela’s arm.

Shit.

He smiled and it made her skin crawl. Be polite. Be polite.

“Certamente! Pensavamo di essere i soli...”

Certainly! We thought we were the only ones!

The man wrapped his nicotine-stained fingers around her wrist, bringing her hand up to his chapped lips. Donny stiffened beside her, squaring his shoulders. The man introduced himself,

“Galeazzo Marchi”, he paused to kiss her hand again, “piacere di conosorela.”

Galeazzo Marchi. Pleasure to meet you.

Aldo and Omar shifted uncomfortably behind them, as Galeazzo rubbed his thumb over Mari’s knuckles. She sent a panicked look Donny’s way; his nostrils were flared, his muscles tense, eyes wide and angry... if looks could kill...

“E il signore...”, he gestured to Donny dismissively, “chi dovrebbe essere?”

And this man... who is he meant to be?

She blinked.

Fuck.

Donny looked pissed. Omar was sweating bullets and she could feel Aldo’s eyes burning a hole in the back of her head, she could practically hear what he was thinking, “fuck’s going on over there?!”

They were meant to be tourists. Just rich tourists, they hadn’t worked out any other details... she blurted out the first thing that came to mind,

“Il mio fidanzato.”

He’s my fiancé.

“Oh, capisco…”

Oh, I understand…

He answered.

He smiled with the smile of someone who doesn’t actually care. He wasn’t going to give up.

“Posso offrirle da bere?”

Can I offer you a drink?

He said, taking a glass of piss water from the silver tray of a fancy dressed waiter and handed it to her.

She was about to take it, more than anything out of pity towards the man, but Donny was faster, and handed her his own glass, still full.

“Com’é gentile, da parte sua…”

How kind of him…

Galeazzo looked bitter.

Donny smiled at his reaction.

Mari took the glass and took a sip, trying to release the tention.

She took a glance of Donny, who was staring down at the man with a glare of challenge. Like if he was daring him to do something she still was unaware of.

“Quindi…fidanzati, giusto?”

So…engaged, right?

“Sí! Da quasi due anni, ormai.”

Yeah! For almost two years now.

The man smirked. She didn’t like it.

“E…vi amate molto?”

And…do you love each other?

Mariangela was about to burst, but decided to stay silent for the sake of the mission.

“Sa, stavo pensando che una coppia bella come la vostra sarebbe un vero piacere da ammirare…”

“You know, I was thinking that a beautiful couple like yours would be a real pleasure to admire...”

That was the last straw.

Mari replied, contemptuous, with a raging blush on her cheeks for the embarassment.

“Non ho idea di quello che lei sta cercando di fare, camerata, ma la risposta é e sarà no!”

I have no idea what you are trying to do, camerata, but the answer is and will be no!

The man smiled, as his hand grapped her wrist.

Tightly.

“Non sono il tipo di uomo a cui si dice no.“

I’m not the type of man you say no to.

A weak metallic sound.

The loading of a gun.

She looked down and saw a tiny Walther P38 in Donny’s hand, pointing straight at the man’s belly.

Mari looked back at the man, reacting with a smil at the look of terror Galeazzo had on his face.

“Un po’…territoriale, il suo uomo.”

Your man is a bit…territorial.

“Non é il tipo di uomo a cui si dice no.”

He’s not the type of man you say no to.

Galeazzo turned pale white.

Donny pointed at the restroom’s door with the gun with a friendly smile, grabbing the man’s shoulder tightly and dragging him in.

As soon as he walked in, she walked towards Aldo and Omar.

“What’s goin’ on, why did he go there?-”

“Don’t, Aldo, it's too long to explain.”

A few moments later, Donny walked out, looking unbothered.

“What happened? What did you do to him?”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, doll.” He replied, adjusting his suit.

Doll.

He called her "doll".

Well, there’s always a first time, I guess.

She wrapped her arm around his, as soon as he offered it to her to take, her cheeks burning.

“What matters now is that he’s not gonna be a bother anymore. Anyway, are you alright? Did he hurt you?”

She took a glance at her wrist, but not even a tiny scratch was there.

“No, don’t worry.”

“I do worry, actually. I’m glad you’re not hurt. I would have killed him…”

Aldo walked towards them, hissing to their ears. “Can you try not to get in a mess for five seconds? I swear if-”

A deep voice interrupted him from behind him.

“We got what we needed. Let’s get outta here.”

It was Wicky, followed by a pissed off Hugo.

“Wenn ich in fünf Sekunden nicht aus hier komme, drohe ich ein Massaker zu begehen.”

If I don't get out of here within five seconds I risk committing a massacre.

Hugo complained, quickly interrupted by Wilhelm, who stepped on his foot.

“Halt die Fresse! Wenn sie uns jetzt finden, geht alles schief!”

Shut up, goddamnit! If they find us now everything will be ruined.

Hugo flinched, but went quiet.

“Well then, I guess we don't have much time before that creep wakes up and comes out of the bathroom looking for me and Donny. We gotta move.”

They all started to walk towards the exit.

“What did that guy ask you for reacting like that?”

Omar asked. Donny shrugged. “I dunno, they spoke italian the whole time. What did he tell you?”

Donny asked to Mari. She stiffened, slightly tightening the grip on his arm for the embarassment, her cheeks turning red again.

“Nothing, keep walking.”

It didn't take them long to return to their base, an abandoned shack in the middle of the countryside in northern France. She sat on a chair, in a room upstairs. The perk of being the only one allowed to have a private room, for…well, obvious reasons. She took off her dress, finally being able to breath. The tossed the dress on the bed and put her usual clothes, finally being more comfortable. As she was taking her make-up off, she heard a knock on the door.

“Come in!”

Donny walked in.

“Y’alright?”

She straightened her back on her seat, coughing softly in nervousness, her cheeks slightly red.

“Could be worst.”

He walked behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders. She stiffened.

“I just wanted to say you looked good tonight. I've never seen you dressed so fancy. Or with any make up on.”

He looked nervous.

“Thanks, Donny, I…I appreciate.”

“Like…very good.”

She looked at him through the mirror, with a questioning face.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you were very beautiful.”

Donny suddenly looked very nervous.

“Not that you're usually ugly, of course.”

He was…complimenting her. He was complimenting her. She tried to smile, her cheeks red. She looked at one of his hands and hesitantly rested hers on it.

“Thank you, Donny.”

“Anytime.”

He looked at her one last time, before taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles.

“Goodnight, Mari.”

“Goodnight, Donny.” She answered, with a faint voice.

He then got out of the room, gently closing the door behind him.

She looked at her hand and kissed it where Donny kissed it too.

“Ti amo.”

_________________

Divider by @saradika !

[yakowo]

WELL...

[Tw//: cursing, military figure written by someone with little to no military knowledge, no i did not double check for spelling i apologize]

-----

Ghost stares at the 13 or 14 year old boy, 'Joey' with a hard look, not enjoying how rudely the kid just jumped up to him and begged for his attention. Honestly, if he wasn't in a good mood, he would've probably smacked the shit out of his kid by now. "Well? Ask your questions. What do you want to know about *me* personally."

"What's your favorite candy?"

Simon blinks. "What?"

"You know... sugar? A delightful treat?"

The kid replies with a small grin.

"Why do you want to know that?"

"Weeeeellll I might sneak you a present for being the only person who's agreed to this."

"I tried to disa-" "Are you gonna tell me?"

Ghost huffed a small chuckle, "... milkyway..."

"American?"

"Mhm."

Joey writes it down in a shitty notebook, clearly used and abused over the few months or weeks this kid has had it. Ghost now had a better look at the kid though, since they moved to a spot with better lighting. He had a horrible burn scare, that covered part of his face, still looking tender, though taken care of. His eyes were a piercing light blue, nearing gray, and his hair spiky, sticking up everywhere, milk chocolate brown, like a hershy's bar.

Too bad he wasn't as sweet as one.

"What's it like to travel?"

"Fine, though I don't travel around for a good reason."

"Does your family miss you when you leave?"

"Don't got any."

"Rrriiiiiiight." Joey winks at him twice and gives a little nudge that confuses Ghost for a brief moment.

The kid continues to write some more stuff down, "what's your mindset put through when you're told to kill? Do you even think about it in the moment? Or do you enjoy it?"

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, that was kind of an dickhead question, but how do you cope with knowing you have and will have to kill people?"

Ghost glares at the little shit, who seems to actually look guilty at his phrasing of the question.

"I just shut off. My brain either thinks about a way to keep me alive, and- or a way to keep my fellow soldiers alive. I don't focus on the deaths around me, I focus on the lives I am protecting."

"Right." He's quick to write this all down, seeming to think his response was inspiring. Exciting even.

"Do you think a world with no wars would be a safe world to live in? Or do you think it's safer having these wars?"

"It depends, some wars help others in their countries break free from a corrupted government, others are made because of those said governments wanting more land, or more money. Or just more."

He nods, still writing. Writing. Writing. The scribbling noise and quiet breathing are all that is heard for a while. It's been 15 minutes ever since this kid came up to him. He'll just take one more question, and get back to the group.

"Hey, one more question, then I'm leaving."

"Aw- sh- okay. Uhm. Do you know a kid named, 'Joseph Riley'?"

Ghost has to close his eyes and he can't hear himself wince when he hears that name. Images of his nephew-

"Uncle Si! Uncle Simon please! I want to play airport with you!"

Ghost opens his eyes and stares at Joey.

"... why?"

"..." Joey has this look in his eyes, as if he's expecting Ghost to know something.

"I just. Wanted... to know." He breathes out, not realizing clearly that he was holding a breath.

Silence. It feels deafening.

"... classified." He stands up,

"Can- can we please talk again! I have more questions. Here- I have a sorta-card!"

"..." Ghost still takes the cheaply assembled card. Ghost leaves. Ghost has a panic attack at his barracks. Ghost has nightmares everytime be goes to bed.

.... Ghost has an itching need to interigate Joey to see how the fuck he got the idea to ask that.

-----

BOOP. I love this au a lot I'm glad you are interested in it too :D gonna assign myself as :] anon!

- :] anon

:] anon strikes again with their amazing AU!!!🫡✨

OH MY GOD HE ASKED THE QUESTION! Poor Simon though, it completely caught him off guard, yet Joseph nailed to pique his interest. I SO need their conversation when he comes clear, I already feel the hurt/comfort that will come with it 😫

The range of questions from Jo made me laugh a little ngl, from favorite candy to 'how does it feel to kill' the energy that was created in the studio was INDEED uncomfortable 😂

[thenixkat]

So reading L.A.W. : Living Assult Weapons instead of like eating breakfast

LAW opens up with some powerful fucker just zapping the moonbase Watchtower and all the Justice League there to somewhere the fuck else who knows

Vic Sage (The Question) in his day job urges the public to stay calm

Ted Kord once again having financial problems but fixing this time it by selling a gps system to the US government.

which yeah, I would assume that the billionaire inventor would sell shit to the army, like, why else did Kord Inc have an experimental weapons lab? Granted in other continuities Ted specifically did not wish to profit from making weapons, but like yeah I can see war profiteer Ted Kord.

also of fucking course Vic has blue eyes. What the fuck is up with so many of the white superheroes having blue eyes? That's not a common trait, where's the love for brown-eyed white people?

our villain is The Avatar, who wants to destroy all symbols of war and the warrior class

also Captian Atom is here b/c his day job is being in the military, man is legitimately just a supercop, also he gets captured b/c The Avatar draws power from the natural elements and radiation is a natural element

Captain Atom gets kidnapped to I assume be used as a battery

you cant exactly go 'dont be sad/scared kid' after murdering a bunch of people in front of said kid. especially since it looks like the kid got roughed up a bit too

Vic, what the fuck is wrong with someone attacking the military installations of largely imperialist and colonialist nations? They're attacking fucking soldiers who signed up to die. What's the issue?

Vic said he's tired of reporting the news, he's about to go fight the news

also I know this man comes off an an angry weirdo to his coworkers

there's a bureau of metahuman affiars of course the USA would have one

wow you mean countries that hate the USA would side with a viilian attacking the USA's military? wild, imagine that

also again so many blue-eyed bitches in DC comics

ah so Peacemaker is a mercenary who does covert shit for imperialist nations to 'protect peace' more reasons to dislike him

excuse you, Ted is ambidextrous and has often been shown doing shit with his left hand? Also, Vic don't break into other supehero's secret lairs, you could literally just ask

also, the other superheroes have been laughing about Ted getting carpal tunnel saying he got it from jacking off when they know he's a fucking engineer and does computer programming

Vic you gotta give trust to get trust It is rude to just take info without giving any back

why would a neuropulse gun work on demons? They're demons

also these demons might be a bit unclear about what mythology they're from. I'm not sure if Hinduism has firey pits of hell, but I can look it up

just I'm not rooting against a villain who's attacking USA military outposts including the secret covert ops ones that they send to do shit that would cause an international incident if they did shit openly

So The Avatar is supposed to be an actual demigod? That just makes them going after imperialist and colonist countries' militaries even more valid

so many blue-eyed mfers in this universe

not Judo Master? getting a call from his deity telling him he has to stop the evil that is his ex-student fighting the militaries of imperiealist nations. Good gods the propaganda of American superhero comics

[jyndor]

Would you please share posts about support for Ukraine, too? Not instead of support for Palestine, but in addition to. It seems like you have an audience. Support for Ukraine is dwindling. Posts about Ukraine rarely get above a couple of hundred notes and it's always the same people. I mean, Russia blew up a huge dam earlier this year and barely anyone spoke about it. Ukraine still needs the world's support, they need weapons to defend themselves. Only Eastern Europe seems to still take the threat of Russia seriously (because we know what Russia is like!). Even in the US support is declining, but we need USA to arm Ukraine. Eastern Europe is running out of weapons to donate or sell.

hey anon first off im so sorry, i hope you're okay. first off i absolutely support all people's right to self-determination and freedom from imperialism and occupation, and so yeah fuck russia and yes i support ukraine. because i support the liberation of all peoples i support ukraine against russian imperialism.

i'm generally not keen on who the us arms in its proxy wars but in this case i think it's like the geopolitics happen to have the us on the right side of this war. idk why that's so hard for some people to understand.

there are limits of course - i'm not keen on escalating a war with a nuclear power, as i told a ukrainian friend of mine last year, because first off nuclear war wouldn't behoove anyone (especially not in ukraine). i wouldn't be opposed to a word that sounds like ass and nation of putin because he's gotta go. but no the us and the west in general is too busy fucking around literally everywhere else that we have no business being to deal with putin. also our governments don't care that much to put their necks on the line like that.

i don't think we as the world can allow this sort of shit to go on. and we always end up reacting to the horrors of genocide and war after the fact but never proactively try to stop them. it's not easy of course, war is inherently brutal and puts people at risk.

us support of interventionism is always pretty brief and incumbent on how conditions are for americans at home. whether or not the support is actually for a cause that is just, middle class americans don't like feeling the impact of our interventions domestically - mainly in the costs of goods and services. i cannot stress enough that yes americans actually do care about mass atrocities when we see evidence of them, we are humans too, but we are also highly, highly propagandized to. and when the media stops feeding us images of horrible shit, we tend to stop thinking about them as much. it's... idk it's horrible how individualized our thinking is here.

and also poverty in the us is rampant and it is hard for many to see our tax dollars go to other people when so many of us are struggling. don't get me wrong im not EXCUSING isolationism as an ideology but it's how americans are. we don't often experience the direct impact of war but we do experience the economic toll of our government not supporting us.

ukraine has gotten as much support as it has because of what ukrainians look like, and the geopolitics of the region. when you look at how countries deal with geopolitics you see that it is never about justice or morality or anything like that, it's usually about power. which is gross and i hate it because yall deserve support because you are being brutalized by a fascist imperial power. because you are people.

that said there are plenty of people here who support you all. i still see ukraine flags where i live (and not just because there are ukrainian americans here).

anon if you see this, do you have any insight into what ukrainians feel about palestinian resistance? like is there solidarity that you see? i know your government is decidedly pro-israeli occupation which is nasty as hell but i know that is partly because of zelensky and partly because of geopolitics (ukraine needs the us's support and doesn't want to endanger that - this happens all the time).

[firecrackerhh]

Because Viv based Adam on Mormonism specifically, and in Mormonism Adam takes Michael’s role.

I would’ve told this person directly but they weren’t allowing comments on their post and I was gonna lose my mind if I didn’t say something.

No offense to them, it’s not their fault they didn’t know, but don’t fucking act like you or anyone else for that matter is the first word when it comes to anything involving the Lord and savior because there’s so many various interpretations of the Bible, it’s hard to believe Christian’s believe in one god when every Christian believes and follows God in so many different ways to the point where they use the Bible more as a justification for their own behavior and not because they actually follow the fucking Bible.

I bet most Christian’s haven’t fucking READ even a quarter of the fucking Bible!

And as for making Adam a villain, being the angel that organizes the extermination every year it makes sense that we would see the angels as bad in the demon’s POV.

If you think that’s being “disrespectful” to your religion then frankly I think you’re a whiny baby, I expect nothing less from you Christian types.

Jesus man, Christianity practically rules over some parts of this fucking country and you wanna cry like a bitch about how ‘disrespected’ you feel!? Fuck off. Cry harder.

I’m sorry there’s only one way I can respond to this.

“OoOoOoOoOo I’m soOoOoOoO scaAaAaAaAared!”

If the good Lord has a problem with my fucking behavior, He can tell me Himself. He doesn’t need weak whiny bitch babies like you defending him.

And if I do end up rotting in hell when I fucking die at least I know there’ll be plenty of shitty “Christian” types there too, I don’t think God appreciates those who use His name for their own selfish ends, which, as an American, there’s beyond plenty of those types sitting in government right fucking now.

People who use the Lord as an excuse to be a terrible person do far more harm to the Lord’s actual message than any atheist.

You have anything to say about those people?

For the record I’m not religious myself (I grew up Catholic tho but thankfully my nona isn’t insane about it) but just cuz you yourself are Christian doesn’t mean you know everything about it, obviously.

LMFAO are you seriously using the Hazbin Hotel tag as an opportunity to fucking proselytize? Holy fucking shit!

Maybe you should ask yourself why people want to ‘disrespect’ God so much to fucking begin with, instead of getting upset at people’s understandable anger towards a religion that supposedly teaches tolerance and love but gives them nothing but shame and fear.

Maybe you’re part of the fucking problem.

“I like your Christ, but not your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.”

-Gandhi.

🧨🔥~Firecracker out~🔥🧨

[skaruresonic]

Does your tribe have a written constitution? I know the Quechan tribe did since the 60s cuz I did research on them for a Landscape Arch class, but I heard it was inconsistent amongst other tribes given how destabilized things got. Still sucks how ass it is to vote for this country with the lack of poll booths and PO Boxes

If you consider wampum "written," maybe. But if you mean "written" as in pen and paper, then no.

Our laws are the laws of the Haudenosaunee, and the main law the Haudenosaunee have is the Great Law of Peace, which is orally recited every year. Last year some of my classmates went to Wisconsin to hear the Oneida recite Great Law.

That's not to say we lack all forms of documentation; many, though not all, of us carry tribal cards. They're based on the Jay Treaty which says Haudenosaunee people and First Nations people are allowed to freely cross between Canada and the US.

In addition to being an indicator of tribal enrollment, red cards should theoretically allow us to travel without forcing us to rely on US passports.

The catch, however, and what makes things annoying, is very few if any places recognize our tribal cards as valid forms of ID, even the places that arguably should, like the Rainbow Bridge between the US and Canada. Crossing into Canada is always a crapshoot because most guards don't give a shit and won't let you cross without a passport.

New York only officially recognizes Akwesasne (St. Regis) Mohawk tribal cards. They don't recognize Tuscarora tribal cards, and that's the reason I was unable to get my permit the first time I went to the DMV. It didn't count as a point of identification, and so I lacked enough points to pass qualification requirements needed to take the test.

---

Still sucks how ass it is to vote for this country with the lack of poll booths and PO Boxes

We're lucky in that we have a... semi-working mail service, but the more embarrassing issue is takeout, tbh. Sometimes restaurants will deliver to just one side of the rez but not the other. Or the delivery person will stand by their car and refuse to walk up to your porch because they binged too many true crime podcasts and think they're gonna get murdered over a pizza lmao.

Re. voting: a lot of us don't vote, which is another issue of tribal sovereignty.

People have a huge stick up their ass about not voting, and they like to wax poetic about how you're a fascist if you don't. But honestly, it's really not that simple an issue for us because we have to grapple with the very real possibility that if enough of us register to vote in US elections, it sends the federal government the message that we don't consider ourselves a sovereign and self-determining nation. That we consider them our government instead. And that could potentially give them grounds to disseminate us.

That's always a slippery slope no matter what because the government wants any excuse it can take no matter how small, but it puts a lot of onus on us to not rely on them as much as possible. As a result, we tend to neglect a lot of shit that most Americans would balk at, like discarding census requests, not getting a passport, and not voting.

My aunt chewed me out merely for registering to vote at the DMV. (Apparently Council keeps tabs on everyone who registers. As if I needed any more reason to call myself a bad Indian, lmao.)

Granted, I haven't voted since registering, but... She really laid into me over something I incidentally did while getting my permit because everyone rags on you about how you really should vote, right? So I wasn't really thinking about it and she got big mad lol.

[thebendsbyradiohead]

tagged by @berrytart thank u so much bc i have Thoughts & now an excuse to share them lol

last read: severance by ling ma & the new me by halle butler

so i was going to just include severance here but i was rly curious where the new me would go & i literally just finished it & liked it a lot!!!

both books deal with blithe, depressed & passionless protagonists stuck in the never-ending loop of what it means to exist in late stage capitalism which despite all evidence of it in the real world, i apparently also seek out in fiction to reassure me i'm not broken to feel that way too?

severance is amazing & i highly recommend it altho fair bit of content warning for an eerily prescient pandemic plot down to the ghoulish response of governments & businesses. (seriously, it was released in 2018 & if i was ling ma, i'd be buying lottery tickets every single day since march 12 2020). it also does a masterful job of depicting the immigrant experience abroad, especially if you're going thru it alone & without a large support network. the protagonist is also a chinese woman & her relation to her race is also a significant theme that's tied up in the overall arc of the novel, making you realize the title works on several levels: severance from your culture, from your family, from happiness, from humanity. is there nothing capitalism can't take from you?

the new me is a bit more condensed and focused on the inner machinations of a lonely depressed woman who can't seem to hold down a permanent job surrounded by vapid self-interested people & slowly becoming more like them (if not already). it's highly reminiscent of my year of rest and relaxation but i found the descriptors of the banality & pointlessness of office life poignant since it singled out how stupid all of it is. i also appreciated the glimpses of the minds of random side characters who the MC often judges but the author shows us they're as frail & human & pathetically hopeful just like she is, like we all are. while it might not be as layered as severance is, the claustrophobic feeling it gave me & the portrayal of bullshit jobs in late stage capitalism & the way it punishes weakness, vulnerability, and authenticity was painfully familiar. i wish i could give it to my therapist to understand my perspective but she'd probably tell me stop reading shit like this & taking it as truth

currently reading: play it as it lays by joan didion & imagining the balkans by maria todorova

i'm gonna be real with you chief (didion), carrie fisher did this better. this is my first time reading fiction by didion & the year of magical thinking was truly a cathartic read for me but this ain't it. it's a story about a failing actress who's divorcing from this director that made her famous & they have a sick kid & she drinks & hangs out with other rich people & she's not even funny. idk, maybe it's just not resonating with me at this point of my life but i doubt i will be a famous actress at any point & i'm not aiming to be an alcoholic mother so. it's a pity that the things i liked in the year of magical thinking, like the direct prose & complex human relationships, just fall flat here. i guess knowing the things in the year of magical thinking were real made them seem that much more impactful (as much as i hate that). i still have half of it left so i'll finish it but atp i'm not even curious what happens

i just started imagining the balkans so i can't say much abt it except that it's dense and very philosophical which makes sense ig lol. until now she's brought up several arguments i've kind of realized myself but it's nice to have the theory and historical research behind them presented. otherwise, how could i know some random american dude joined one of the sections of the macedonian liberation movement in the 1900s simply because he was bored at home & looking for mystery & intrigue?

To read: miracle in the andes by nando parrado

as a kid my favorite type of story was A Weirdo Stuck In An Inhospitable Environment Survives Against All Odds so this memoir from one of the survivors of the uruguayan air force flight 571 crash whose skull shattered & he still walked an entire mountain & found help is bound to be good

i tag @cuntextual @yugocar @christianbalegf

[prettyhighforawhiteguyblog]

We are going to need China to save us from Capitalism. They are are only world superpower capable, they are motivated, they have economic force with the military to back it up.

We really ought to be buying Chinese shit whenever we can 🤣. But China you got to fix some shit

China we need some established brands! Spamming Amazon with a thousand unheard of word soup named companies is dumb as shit. Fix that.

We need quality standards that mean something to us. Is this worth $5 or $175? Can I afford the risk and hassle of a return?

We need many brands that help consumers make decisions. Brands of varying quality, general pricing, panache, associations, etc that compete globally. People ought to want a xxxxxxx winter coat! Or think xxxxxxx makes the best low priced sound equipment!

Instead it's random new companies everytime with names Americans struggle with. New sellers. New brands. New product in a whole new different packaging and pics that don't show me if it's still the old part! GAH!!!

Basically make the American brand structure a state enforced thing on exports to America. Then build up brand loyalty like Temu does. But don't get greedy in price hikes like Amazon. China is better than that.

Build up Chinese brands and compete in American stores for high end shit. People should WANT a Chinese set of head phones. People should WANT a Chinese chef's knife. But you need brands and brand loyalty to do that.

Really. This is elementary shit. Did Pooh Bear decide on the current free for all capitalistic bullshit y'all got going on. How's that working for you? Tell that silly old bear to get his shit together on Chinese exports and stop the free for all and condense the nonsense. Are you fascist communists or not? Chop. Chop.

Speaking of communists, you need to be better than us. Please. Please be the good kind people I know you to be outside the Party faithful. President Pooh, please be a kind hearted fascist autocrat.

I'm serious, you could just be a super nice guy and do your best to make all your people healthy and prosperous while you disappear political rivals on the regular. Your people would take care of you and support you instead of fearing you and hoping for your downfall. Nobody is expecting true religious freedom any time soon, but benevolent permission to religious minorities that do not proselytize at all. Proselytizing should be illegal for sure.

Nobody is expecting free press like America. Do free press like China.

Nobody is expecting political freedom. It's a one party government because it's one county.

There need to be limits to prevent disruption. I know Americans howl about China's civil rights with utter hypocrisy. We refuse to acknowledge that virtually no BIPOC in America have full religious, speech, press, gov representation, justice in court, fair treatment on the regular, etc.

We get the limited free rights thing. We think it should be free-er, you would like things to keep going Winnie's way. We know you aren't changing your mind any time soon. Can we all act like adults and move on now?

We cannot get over the Uyghurs. And neither should you. But don't be shocked we are pointing fingers at you when we have such a history. That is just our MO. That's one of those things we are really fucked up on. But you get how propaganda works. Don't use us as an excuse to be just be bad as us! Be better than us. Don't be American. We are terrible and everyone knows it. Be Chinese!

,..........

Americans need to start learning to appreciate China a whole lot more. Beautiful people, cultures, lands, etc. Plus we need to be allies.

...........

China could do a lot to cut down on a major source of right-wing self identification, organization, intimidation, and isolation tactics!

All they have to to is cut production of all the stupid bumper stickers, t shirts, Christian Nationalist bullshit, and White Supremacist self identification viking shit.

the kind that the right use primarily for the purposes of rallying the troops, implying there are just like them and it's ok to join in, bullying minorities, intimidation of opposition, etc.

If China wants help from within the US they could make things better for us and tweak the noses of their actual geopolitical opponents in America. Can you imagine the pundits spin!? Do it just for that Pooh!

[weaponizedhorse]

Israel

I got an ask a few days ago about Israel that basically boiled down to "I support Jewish People but not Israel. Fuck Israel" and because Tumblr is Tumblr when I saved the ask to my drafts so I could look something up it got eated so I am retyping out my reply.

Imagine for a moment, if when we were eradicating/genociding most of the Native American population here in the US instead of that we kicked them all out of the land that historically theirs. That they lived on for generations on generations on generations. Then after a number of years of being forced out of their homeland a foreign power, let's say England again to make things simple come in and say "hey Native Americans you can have your land back" but the people who live in American now? Oh they are PISSED. They are wanna stay. So everyone bombs the shit out of each other.

That is basically what happened. The Jews were displaced. They were given their land back by England and now people are trying to displace them again. Like people have been doing to them for most of their history.

Do I agree with everything Israel has done? No. Absolutely not. There are things that they have done are complete heinous and inexcusable.

But I also don't agree with everything Palestine has done. They have done a lot of fucked up things also and I see absolutely no one, who isn't Jewish, talk about. Most of the time when I see people hating on Israel it is done for an excuse to be anti-semetic and with no semblance of nuance.

Nuance like when people talk about Israel bombing Palestine they never talk about that infact that the reason Israel isn't constantly being bombed and destroyed by rockets and artillery shells fired by Palestine is they have the Iron Dome air defense system. If they didn't they would also be being constantly bombed.

It is okay to have a problem with any government but I have never seen a take about Israel, that wasn't by a Jewish person, that wasn't antisemitic in some/many respects

[vergess]

@autismserenity​ said: Your tags are the most American thing I’ve ever read, we are truly so screwed here   

May I interest you in a more complete, and more excruciating, explanation of what I spent the last 18 months doing?

It is, I need to emphasize, fucking nasty. Don’t feel obligated, especiallly if you’ve already had A Day(tm).

There’s a lot of disease, a lot of worker abuse including sexual and racial abuse, a fine portion of letting people die for not being white enough for real medical care, all leading to homelessness.

For NDA reasons, because my former employer was just as vile as any tech company has ever been, I cannot be super specific about who I worked for. However, I can say that we handled the records and patient contact for all COVID testing for several states, as well as 2 of the 5 largest metros in the US, and several dozen smaller ones ranging from the approximate population of San Francisco, down to little towns, as well as the testing for several public school systems and at least two government agencies that I am not at liberty to disclose.

I tell you this for a sense of scale. When I say shit like, “my boss was more than happy to let thousands or hundreds of thousands die” I am not exagerrating for effect. We handled hundreds of thousands of tests a week.

Again, I need to emphasize, government agencies. Ones you would know if I named them. Ones everyone in the country knows.

And we were in charge of getting their test results from the already over swamped labs back to the patients, who often were not allowed to quarantine while awaiting results.

The fastest we got our turnaround time to on any consistent basis was about 30 hours. Often it ballooned well into weeks.

There were a number of factors for this, but the big one was always understaffing.

The staff we did have were treated like trash. One of the big selling points of this company is how “trans friendly” it is to work there. That is a lie. Every trans employee on payroll had their dead name displayed to all other staff, and until I personally changed the system setup on my arrival, patient facing trans people’s dead names were displayed to patients.

Remember that thing about “hundreds of thousands of tests a week”?

I was able to change the way patient-facing names were displayed. I was not allowed or able to alter the way internal systems displayed trans people’s names. But I was assured that it’s fine, because once you get a legal name change, you’ll be given new system accounts with your new name!

Your old accounts with your dead name would still be displayed and associated with the new ones though.

This is the “trans friendly” working environment. We were allowed to be out of the closet, as long as we were willing to put up with that. And any attempts to get it altered were the result of those nasty little transgender ingrates not being thankful enough.

Meaning that by asking to use our own fucking names we were already in the disciplinary shitter.

Another big selling point is the ~racial diversity~. The CEO was a man of colour, and so were like four other people on staff!! Wow!!!!!!!

This, too, was laughable.

Once numbers started coming in about the care gap for COVID between English and Spanish speakers, and our Southwestern US service area began to have a separate and brutal backlog just of Spanish speaking patients, my employer encouraged me to interview potential hires who speak spanish.

Fair enough! We all wanted to do our part to help close the already massive mortality gap.

So, I found candidates, did interviews, hired them, trained them, etc. But I don’t speak Spanish. As a result, I appointed 2 assistant managers who do speak Spanish to assist me in managing, you know, like the job name.

So when my super contacted them directly, completely skipping me on the chain of command, and told them to stop all of our Spanish speakers from translating helpful simple messages to send to patients, and instead start translating medical and legal documents, they very reasonably assumed I was in the know and went ahead with it.

TO BE CLEAR, that could have ended my life, theirs, basically everyone involved. Everyone in the company would have been completely fucked. At that point, my subordinates, the people for whom I am wholly responsible, were doing everything from practicing medicine without licenses, to encouraging spanish speaking patients to enter contracts that no one on the fucking executive tier could even read.

The moment I found that out, I and the A.M.s immediately started trying to get actual medical translation services to do our documents. We collected them in a neat folder. We queried translation services. We got quotes. We contacted my super and the CEO, about this over and over again for months. In the late autumn, we received approval for one of the translation services.

The CEO decided at the last minute that having people with no medical or legal training draft medical and legal forms was fine and good actually, and refused to sign the contract or send the documents for translation.

The excuse I received was that the COVID emergency HIPAA relaxations would protect us.

That’s not how that works.

Throughout all of this, Spanish speaking employees were told to either keep doing medical and legal translation work, or lose their jobs.

Oh, did I mention everyone was working between 30 and 80 hours a week, and all of us were marked as “contractors” so the employer could tax evade? Don’t worry, we filed complaints with the labour bureau.

So the entire department was let go, and “rehired” as temps through a temp agency, which because it was a temp agency could keep them marked as contractors regardless of the facts.

This change was presented to all of us, myself included, as the company getting a new accountant to handle payroll.

So if you’re keeping score, we’ve covered racism, queerphobia, medical negligence, fraud, and a frankly uncountable number of deaths.

Let’s talk about the sheer negligence towards employees ourselves. If you’ve worked in near-death medical care before, or any number of emergency services really, you know that the standard benefit suite includes either a dedicated therapist for your staff, or access to peer support groups with other emergency and medical servants through your employer’s benefits program.

Do you know what our mental health benefits were for this company?

The CEO got on a fucking zoom call with us all one (1) time, and said that if we were feeling suicidal or traumatized by the work, to talk to him about it, and he would be our therapist.

Do you know how many people per fucking day we had to contact only to be told they had already died because our understaffing delays killed them? He doesn’t. He never listened when we told him.

But let me put the cherry on the “Oh baby, you can talk to me, oooh” sundae.

Anyone who “looked” or “sounded” female, regardless of actual or assigned gender, was subject to constant flirtations and slimy, overly personal compliments about our appearances. Fortunately, at 3 levels removed from the CEO (Executives > Department heads > Managers > Employees), most of the people under my management had relatively little contact with him.

I was not nearly so lucky.

The CEO of this company has a watersports (urination) fetish. I know this, because he told me so and attempted to get me to join him in it. I have no idea how many other people in the company he did this to. I mean, what the fuck was I supposed to do, risk losing my job to find out? I have a fucking family to support, people.

Not that it mattered.

Eventually, all of these abuses became too much for my subordinates. Productivity fell off a cliff. Delays were getting worse and worse. In a medical emergency like this, delays=deaths.

So, like a fucking idiot, when the department heads reached out to me to ask what they could do to improve productivity, I shot down their frankly insulting suggestion of raffling a $20 amazon gift card to patient facing employees, and instead suggested a very simple, “enroll us with a peer support group, every single person in this department has PTSD from working in this pandemic.”

They were confused by my assertion of PTSD. I was asked to compile a document of complaints, concerns, and weaknesses in our patient facing services.

I and the A.M.s did so. It was roughly 40 pages long, with each page given a known problem, the reasons why it was a problem, and some potential solutions that might inspire further solutions or be able to be implemented. We submitted it. There was no response.

A week passed.

I had been working 80 hour weeks for most of a year. I hadn’t even been able to take weekends. I took my first sick day, in a company with “unlimited vacation days.”

I received a call at 3PM.

I had been fired for “differences in communitcation.” If you’ve ever seen that “Problem Women of Color in the workplace” chart? Yeah.

So had most of my department, including every transgender member of the department, and several of our extremely limited in supply Spanish speakers, who were presumed to be “on my side.”

Some of them, I barely even knew beyond the formalities of the job, and they were punished anyway.

I lost my insurance, and as a result I lost access to my medications.

But the real problem? I lost my house. And not due to lack of payment.

I lost my house, because when I got the job we waited 6 months for stability’s sake, and then readied to move out of the area. I got a mortgage on the basis of my employer’s written guarantee to the bank that I would continue to be employed for the next year at a minimum.

With the mortgage approval in hand, we entered a sales contract on our existing home.

We got and accepted an offer just days before I was fired. To keep our house meant paying a 25,000 dollar broken contract fine. We didn’t have that. We had a 10% down payment for a modest fucking place in a cheaper area, which is less than half that.

But without a job, my mortgage approval was also voided, meaning we couldn’t buy a house either.

All of a sudden, we were homeless during the plague, because my employer wrote and signed a letter to a bank guaranteeing my future employ, and then changed his mind when too many people died due to his own negligence.

Oh yeah, one last thing: the job paid less than Pandemic unemployment Assistance.

...After that, well, it’s homelessness until just last month. I... if you’ve never been homeless it’s.

It blurs. Everything is happening constantly, except for all the ways in which you are endlessly, mind breakingly bored. Bored, overloaded, and always uncomfortable.

Obviously my health would have declined regardless. Malnutrition, stress, everything.

But I was also unmedicated.

It was hell. I was in hell. I don’t know if I can recover from it, to be honest.

I bounced back from being homeless as a child. Children are as resilient as they are stupid, and the monstrosity of homelessness was little more than a vaguely remembered loathing and a panicky fear that it would ever happen again.

A child who is dying is worthy of sympathy, even if it is meaningless coos from passers by. If they have family, they may be able to rely on them too.

An adult with the indignity to die homeless and crippled, according to the average passer by, is worthy only of disgust and perhaps even punishment for being such a worthless waste.

My reward for nearly killing myself in a desperate bid to help stem the tide of COVID was the destruction of not only my life, not only my entire family’s lives, but the lives of every single family of every single employee who worked with me.

And you know what’s worse?

Each one of us still did more to limit the lethal impact of COVID than the entire united states government.

It breaks something in you, going through that.

It makes you realize that hope is a fool’s game.

But, I have ever been a fool, and so, I continue to play.

[gm--requests]

Patience (pt.1) - Soft Dom! Johnny Suh

g e n r e - s m u t & f l u f f 

w a r n i n g s - Soft Dom! Johnny, pet names, oral sex (f/m receiving), light size kink (if you fucking squint), explicit language, fingering, virgin! reader, praising

o r i g i n a l  c o n t e n t - i did write this 

w o r d s - 4204

r e q u e s t - here 

PT. 2 HERE

a / n - this might be a bit awkward because i love the concept but struggled a lot with how to go about writing it. I really wanted to capture Johnny-Boy in all of glory, but idk if i did him or this scenario justice. if you want a part 2 with actual diddle daddle hit me in the inbox. this is written with a plus-size reader in mind. anyone, of course, can read it, and i highly encourage it because i worked hard on this piece, but there needs to be a common understanding that there will be no dramatic throwing of anyone through a wall or anything lmao. like the plus-size community is hella underrated and i hope that i do all my babies justice.  also please leave feedback if you have any. also please do not engage in unprotected sex unless you are in a long term relationship with a trustworthy partner.  that being said please enjoy sex as much as you want with the use of aforementioned protection!

When the two of you ran into one another on that fateful day, it really was fate. You had been running extremely late for class and decided that it was no longer worth it to go, so you opted for a little adventure instead, wandering around until you found a tiny cafe. It was rather empty and had a wonderful atmosphere, it seemed perfect for a little studying. The only other people in the cafe were the employees, an older man who seemed very deep into work, and a tall guy standing in front of the counter looking at the menu. You walked up and stood behind him, trying to analyze the menu yourself.

Apparently the lengthy man had been standing there for quite some time as the worker finally smiled and said something about letting her know when he was ready. Finally the man sighed and turned around to you, “What should I order?”

You looked up at him confused and then in shock. Your wide eyes met his as you both realised who the other was, “Holy shit, Johnny?”

“Y/n? Wow! It’s been so long!”

You smiled up at him, “It really has! I didn’t know you stayed near here,” you laughed awkwardly, “or in Korea at all, actually.”

He chuckled, “Yea, I could say the same to you! Hold on, let me order so I can stop ruining this workers day and then, maybe, if you aren’t busy, we can catch up?”

“Yea, of course,” you nodded a little too enthusiastically.

He looked back at the menu and then back to you, “I, uh, still don’t know what to get.”

You laughed and stepped up to the counter, “Uhm, excuse me, I think we are ready to order.”

The worker stopped her task and hurried over to you, “What can I get for you?”

“I’ll have, uh, two cafe au laits and the chocolate waffles please,” as you reached for your wallet, Johnny beat you to it, handing the cashier a black card. You did your best not to let your face show your surprise at the prestigious piece of plastic.

“Sorry, for taking so long to order, I was waiting on this knowledgeable coffee angel to show up,” He smiled apologetically at the worker and then flashed you a quick wink. Despite yourself you smiled cheekily at him.

“It is no problem at all sir, we will have your order out right away!” the worker replied, handing his card back to him.

“Shall we?” Johnny gestured towards the expanse of empty tables. You nodded and headed for one near the back corner where the lights were a bit dimmer and someone would really have to be looking in order to see either of you.

“Ah, a woman of mystery,” he joked as you pulled out a chair and sat down.

“Oh, yes. You’ll come to find out that I’m super mysterious,” you leaned in and held your hand up to block off one side of your mouth, Johnny mimics you, “Actually, I'm on the run from the American government, that’s why I’m here.”

Johnny smirked at you, the gleam in his eyes playful, “I can’t believe you haven’t seen me in years and you’re trusting me with this kind of information,” he whispered.

You sat back in your seat and shrugged, “I was told that I can always trust a tall man with broad shoulders.”

His smirk quickly turned into a full smile, “Y/n, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you were already flirting with me.”

A red hue spread from your cheeks to the tip of your ears, “N-no I was just-”

Before you could continue speaking one of the workers was setting your drinks and food down on the table, you trained your eyes on the table, but Johnny had his eyes trained on you.

Eventually a few hours of wonderful conversation had passed and Johnny was quickly scrambling up, “I’m so sorry to just run like this, but I’m late for practice,” he said as he pushed in his chair.

“Oh, no, it’s no problem at all! I should be studying anyways,” you smiled up at him from your seat, “OH! You paid for my stuff, hold on I think I have enough cash for it,” you grabbed your bag and began shuffling hastily through its contents.

“I don’t want you to pay me back for that y/n, it was nothing, really.”

“I can’t let you just leave without paying you back Johnny, that would be rude,” you replied, setting your lips into a firm line. He chuckled.

“How about you pay me back by going out with me this weekend?”

You slowly raised your head to look at him, he wore the same smirk from earlier. You cleared your throat and nodded, “Yea, sure, I’d love to.”

“Great, let me give you my number real quick,” he said.

You unlocked your phone and handed it up to him. He typed in his number and you heard his phone ring in his pocket, “Now I have your number and you have mine! I’ll text you a time and place later, alright?”

“Sure! See you then!”

He hurriedly made his way out of the cafe, you watched as he slipped on a pair of sunglasses, flipped up the hood on his sweatshirt, and made his way down the street. You couldn’t help but think that if anyone was a person of mystery it was him.  

After the first date, came another and then another and before you knew it the two of you were dating. At first opening up to each other was hard. He always seemed so busy and you were scared that maybe your secret and his secret would tear the two of you apart, but finally one night you had both had enough.

As he sat at the table in your kitchen while you made dinner, the tension in the air became palpable. The once comfortable silence had become heavy and at the same time you both blurted, “We need to talk!”

You looked at one another in surprise and laughed.

“We really do though,” he said as his smile faltered.

You turned off the stove and covered up the half cooked food, “Dinner can wait for a bit.”  

You walked over to the kitchen table and pulled out the chair beside him, sitting down. He took your small hand in his large one, but didn’t meet your eyes.

“Listen y/n, we have been together for almost half a year now and I’ve been hiding something pretty big from you,” he swallowed thickly, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be nervous or feel some type of pressure from it. I also thought it would keep you safer, but I’m tired of hiding it from you because it’s the only other thing in my life that is as important as you.”

“Johnny, if you’re gonna tell me that you are part of the mafia or something, I’d rather not know, because I’ve seen the movies and if someone breaks in here I will tell them everything I know, right down to your blood type.”  

Johnny laughed and squeezed your hand, “It is nice to know that you would give up all of my information so easily,” you shrugged and rolled his eyes, “but no, I’m not in the mafia or part of a gang. I am however,” he inhaled sharply, “part of a kpop group.”

You looked at him dumbly, “Johnny,” you began, but he interrupted you. “I know it sounds ridiculous and I know that it could make life harder for you if our fans knew, but I don’t want to keep hiding you from the group members and they all know something is up and I already had to tell management and-”

You cut him off with a laugh, “Johnny, I knew that already.”

“Huh?” It was his turn to look at you stupidly.

“Johnny the first time I saw you in that coffee shop, you pulled out a black card, and then when you left you put on a pair of sunglasses and slinked off into the shadows. You really thought I wasn’t gonna at least Google your name?!”

He sat speechless as you continued to laugh, “Why didn’t you tell me that you knew already y/n?”

“Because,” you paused to catch your breath, “you didn’t bring it up so I figured you didn’t want me to know, not to mention, I thought maybe you’d have to stop seeing me if I knew.”

“Holy shit,” he sighed happily, “it feels like the weight of the world has just been lifted off my shoulders.”

You smiled at him happily, but it quickly fell as you looked at him, “Well, I guess it’s my turn now,” you looked down at your hand in his, “I, uh, the reason I don’t ever do anything other than kiss you is because, I, well I don’t really know anything about that kind of stuff and I’ve never had sex.”

Johnny sat there quietly, the silence making you nervous, until finally, “Y/n, I think we are both really bad about making things a bigger deal than they are.”

You looked at him confused, but he just smiled softly at you, “I just mean that it’s totally okay and we will take everything at whatever pace you want to. I’m not going to pressure you or try and speed up the process. I’m perfectly content with just making out with you forever, if that is what you want. There is so much more to a relationship than fucking.”

“Geez did you really have to say fucking that sounds so harsh,” you mumbled and he fights back a laugh.

“Okay, I’m sorry, making love,” he corrects himself, his eyebrows raising up and down suggestively. You groan and pull your hand from his, standing and returning to the stove top.

“Well now that we’ve got everything off of our chests, we should talk about when you’re gonna meet the boys.”

“All twenty of them?” you ask cheekily as you turn on the burner and begin cooking again.

“You really did do your research, huh?”

“Yea, I was curious. I think I like Jaehyun.” You look at him and raise your eyebrows the way he did before.

In a flash he is up from his chair and his arms are wrapping around your pudgy waist, “You better fuckin not like Jaehyun.” He presses his lips to your cheek and then pouts, “I’m just as good looking as he is and I speak better English.”

“Didn’t he only live in Connecticut for like, four years?”

“Jesus, y/n!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands dramatically in the air, “What did you do? Read his entire autobiography?!”

“He has an autobiography,” you ask excitedly and he lets out a groan in defeat.

“My girlfriend is gonna cheat on me with my best friend,” he mumbles as he leans against the counter opposite you.

You giggle, “Well I don’t think you have to worry about any of that, not only am I head over heels for you, but according to the website I looked at, I’m not even his ideal type.”

“Y/n, I’ll be honest, the fact that you even looked at his ideal type is bothersome for me,” he replied, sounding a bit defeated.

“Well I looked at yours too,” you turned to face him, “why do you think I smile at you so much, hmm?”

His eyes met yours and you grinned widely. Placing the cooking spoon on the counter, you walk over to him and press your lips sweetly against his. Johnny’s large hands find purchase on your butt and you smile into the kiss. Pulling away slowly, you look at him and you swear you can see the love pouring out of his eyes, you hope you can see it in yours too.

----------------------------------------------

A few months later, Johnny has integrated you into his life completely. You’ve met all of the members of NCT, including Jaehyun, who Johnny always seems to be a little more handsy with you around, you’ve been “caught” by Dispatch, and all NCTzens at least know of you. Because of this, the two of you had grown closer than ever before and had finally both spoken those three special words to one another.

The ‘I love you’s’ came a bit awkwardly at first, but now they were a force of habit. Love wasn’t just something you felt towards one another, it was something you were in and Johnny never missed an opportunity to let you know that.

Despite your closeness, the two of you still hadn’t done much more than makeout heatedly, here and there. You felt bad, but Johnny always assured you that he didn’t mind. If things ever got too heated, he would excuse himself and go take a quick shower. Johnny was nothing if not understanding and patient. But you’d be lying if you said that you weren’t starting to get a least a little bit curious. You wanted to tell him that you wanted to start trying those things, but didn’t quite know how to.

------------------------------------------

One night the two of you were sitting on the couch and you finally decided that you wanted to take it to the next step. The curiosity was killing you and seeing him in nothing but a pair of sweatpants, his fit and large body on display was really doing a number on you. During a commercial, you’d had enough and decided to say ‘fuck it’. Carefully you climbed over and straddled your plush body on top of his.

He let out a soft ‘oh’ in surprise as your lips nervously met his jawline. You began placing small kisses on his cheeks, then the corner of his mouth, and finally his lips. His hands, as per usual, fell comfortably on the curve of your butt. You deepen the kiss quickly, your tongue brushing against his bottom lip. Johnny chuckled at your newly found haste, but obliged and let your tongue slip past his lips. He always let everything progress at your speed, scared that he would push you too far and make you uncomfortable, but when you gently grinded down on him, he found his body involuntarily jerking upwards. A soft moan left your mouth as you quickly pulled away from him.

His hands quickly moved from your ass to beside himself, “Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he sputtered, “I should probably uh move from this position before it gets a mind of its own.” But you didn’t move. Instead you placed your hands on his chest and nervously grinded down again. Johnny hissed as his hips jerked again.

“Y/n,” he began, but you cut him off.

“Can we, maybe, go a little further than normal tonight?” your voice coming out as a hushed whisper.

His eyebrows knit together, “Are you sure?” He asked in a serious tone that you’d never heard from him before.

You nodded quickly and he let his hands fall to your hips, “Just tell me if you want me to stop okay?” “I will,” you said firmly and he smiled at you softly before letting his grip on you tighten.

Johnny couldn’t lie, he was more than excited to be able to progress like this. You were the most beautiful girl in the world to him and sometimes his thoughts got the best of him. Your innocence proved to be a big turn on for him and just knowing that he was the first person to ever be with you in this way had him instantly hard. He gently pressed your hips down as he rocked into you. He marveled in the way your breathing picked up and soft mewls began to fall from your lips. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. The way your face scrunched up at these unknown pleasures and God it made him want to take you right there on the couch.

Despite that all, he wanted you to feel good first and foremost, “Baby, how about we go to the bedroom, yea? If this is your first time for these things, I don’t want that to be on your 10 year old couch.”

You smiled sheepishly and climbed off of him. As you stood and walked towards the room, he tried to ignore the lingering look you gave as your eyes shifted from his to his very prominent hard on. Once in the room, he shut the door behind himself and you climbed awkwardly on to the bed. He chuckled as he saw your flushed face and took note of how you sat criss-crossed.

“Lay down for me, baby,” he urged gently as he climbed on to the bed. You looked so nervous and innocent as he hovered his body over yours. He kissed you gently, one hand keeping him sturdy above you, while the other gently caressed your face. When he pulled away, he stared at you. Your slightly swollen lips, flushed chubby face, and half lidded eyes had him reeling.

“Y/n, have you ever touched yourself before?” Johnny asked. It came out as a whisper, his lips millimetres away from your ear. It made you shiver.

“N-no, I haven’t,” you whispered back. You felt his hand pass softly over your breasts and across your stomach, stopping at the pudge right above your crotch.

“Can I touch you there?” he brought himself back up to look at you.

“Please,” you whimpered and he was happy to oblige.

Johnny’s sat back and gently spread your legs apart. He ran his hand up your plush thigh before leaning back up to whisper in your ear once more, “Tell me whenever you want me to stop, okay baby?”

You mewled a simple ‘okay’ as his hand cupped your clothed pussy. His touches were soft and gentle, he ran his fingers over your slit and to your clit. He felt the wet spot in your shorts form and pulled his fingers away, instead letting them hook in to the waistline of the fabric. He tugged softly and you hesitantly lifted your body, allowing him to pull them down.

Johnny ran his finger through your folds, allowing your arousal to coat it completely, before he slowly eased his finger inside of you. He watched your face intently, your eyes closing and forehead wrinkling at the foreign feeling. Slowly he pushed the finger in and out of you, until you were letting out soft moans. He pushed his thumb against your clit and watched your body tense at the pleasure. He softly worked in a second finger and he watched as the discomfort turned to pleasure.

He was twitching in his sweatpants, convinced that he had never been this turned on in his life. “Does that feel good baby?” he cooed.

“God yes,” you moaned out and he let the thrust of his fingers speed up. He could feel you gripping on to him and he could only imagine how it’d feel wrapped around him.

Your high built up beautifully. Starting slowly until you couldn’t help but cry out at the feeling. Johnny was a pro, though you had nothing to compare it to, you knew that this was the best you’d ever feel in your life. Johnny slowly pulled his fingers from inside of you and you whimpered out. You opened your eyes and looked at him confused, until you saw him lick your essence off his fingers. Instantly your face was hot as he groaned at the taste.

Johnny positioned his head in between your thighs before speaking, ‘If you want me to stop tell me okay?”

“I will,” was all you got out before he tongue was licking up you and your legs were shaking.

Johnny moved his tongue far slower than he wanted to. You were so sweet and so sensitive. His large hands had to keep your soft, pillowy thighs from closing together in pleasure. Your moans had gotten far louder and he couldn’t help but rut against the bed. Every sound you made turned him on to no end.

“You taste so good princess,” he murmured against you before his tongue dove into you. Your legs had become jello, your hands gripping the sheets beside you, the coil in your abdomen tightening and then snapping as his wet muscle lapped at your sensitive clit. He continued licking you clean, letting you ride out your high until you were involuntarily pulling away from him.

He sat up and looked at your already fucked out expression. His hard cock twitching painfully in his pants, “I’m gonna go grab a towel to clean up anything I might have missed,” he said cheekily, “and then I’m gonna go take a quick shower, alright?”

As Johnny went to climb off the bed you sat up, “Wait,” he stopped, “C-can I help this time?”

“Baby, it’s really no big deal, you don’t have to,” he smiled at you reassuringly, but you shook your head.

“I want to. Please teach me.” Your pure eyes met his and he couldn’t find it in him to tell you no.

“Okay,” he stood, his hands on the top of his sweats, “but I mean it y/n, if you want to stop at any point in time. Tell me. You don’t owe me anything. I like making you feel good.”

“I know, I just, I’ve really been wanting to and you just look,” your eyes left his and fell on your hands as you spoke in an embarrassed whisper, “big.”

Johnny did his best to hold back his pride, but he couldn’t fight back the smile. He didn’t want to be overly confident the first time, but it was true. He was rather well endowed and when he pulled down his sweatpants, the tip of his decently girthy manhood, tapped the area above his belly button. You swallowed thickly and Johnny could see the nervousness in your eyes.

“Here,” he said, getting back on the bed, “let me lay down, that way you can take everything at your own pace, mkay?” He said as he got comfortable on his back. You came to kneel at his side and he cupped your chubby face in his hands, “Just go slow princess.”

You nodded and gently grabbed his member in your hand, causing Johnny to suck air in through his teeth. You looked at him worriedly, “You’re okay baby, I’m just a bit sensitive.”

You nodded and leaned down, bringing the tip to your lips. As you wrapped your lips around the head of his length, he moaned out a breathy, “holy fuck.”  

You took his words as an encouragement to go further, trying to take more of him into your mouth too quickly, you gagged, pulling off of him and he sat up a bit, “Baby, it’s okay, go slow, there is no rush.” His hand petting your head as you nodded at him.

You slowly tried again, your mouth inching down his length, soft groans leaving his lips. Eventually the feeling became more normal and you were able to begin bobbing your head, “That feels so good princess, you’re doing so good for me.” His praises made you more confident and the more comfortable you got  the more of him you were able to take in.

Soon you had his tip pressed against the back of your throat, you fought back your gag reflex, focusing only on the feeling of his cock filling your mouth and the praises flowing from his mouth, “Ah, shit,” he murmured as you swallowed around him, “princess I’m gonna cum, if you keep it up, fuck.”

You sped up your movements, your hands taking care of the bit of his shaft that you couldn’t take into your mouth. You could tell he was getting closer by the way he began twitching. You pulled off of him, “Y-you can cum in my mouth,” your eyes meeting his as your mouth wraps back around his length and he loses it.

His hand meeting the back of your head and pushing you down roughly as he cums down your throat. When he lets go, you immediately pull off of him, sputtering and coughing.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry baby,” He exclaims as he sits up and wraps your squishy body up in his arms, “you did so good for me, took me so well.” He coos as he runs his thumb across your swollen bottom lip, before connecting his lips with yours.

Johnny kisses you lovingly, pulling you down to cuddle up next to him, “Let’s be done for tonight, mkay baby? You did a lot, I don’t wanna push you too far because we’re in the heat of the moment. Is that okay?”

You nod against his chest, as you both lay there bare.

“Plus, I’ll be honest, the way you look at me makes me want to break you and I don’t wanna go too far,” he mumbles. You whimper at the thought and he squeezes you tighter, kissing the top of your head, relishing in the way your soft body fits with his, how tiny you look.

[jajanvm-imbi]

Headcanons of Krel living on earth because he’s my favorite and I love him and I haven’t seen anyone do this yet so I feel like I have to

^^^^^because of this very moment I love the idea of Mary and Darci befriending Krel.

Since Aja,Vex and Eli went back to Akaridion-5, Mother was destroyed, and Claire was busy with Trollhunting stuff, earth gets pretty lonely. So Mary and Darci adopt him into their friend group. 

At first Krel was a little apprehensive to joining their friend group, but he quickly warmed up to it because, he, being Krel, loves the attention.

like I can totally see Mary and Darci taking Krel to like a mall or something and doing those like teen romcom movie shopping montages where he goes into a changing room and the girls judge the outfit until they find the perfect one.

I personally believe Krel would adopt a soft boy look, with like oversized button ups and t shirts tucked into jeans, but thats just me.

anyway, because he’s friends with Mary and Darci, Krel has a new found social popularity in Arcadia.

because of this, Krel would prolly get nominated for Spring Fling king and shit

I would say Krel wouldn’t really care about being nominated, but seeing how he cared so much about the science fair and the Battle of the Bands, he would definitely care

Steve is conflicted because he wants to be Spring Fling King, but he can’t mess with Krel like he did with Jim and Eli cause Krel is his girlfriend’s brother 

Krel notices this and takes advantage of it to mess with Steve and actually tries to win.

like Krel would just dominate the contests, and his theme presentation would be the flashiest and most appealing and people would just generally like him, and that would really worry Steve

like Krel, with four arms would be really good at the Touch-a-Truck-athon or whatever its called.

Krel would prolly let Steve win anyway because watching Steve squirm and freak out over prolly losing the crown and not being able to do anything about it cause he's Aja's brother is much better than any highschool dance crown

also the school 100% asks Krel to DJ future dances and events to save money, and Krel absolutely loves it

He would also definitely do the school play. Seeing how much he enjoyed being in Toby and Eli's short film, and again, he loves the attention, he would totally be down 

Also it would just be another chance to mess with Steve to be the lead. 

Because of this, Ms. Janeth would do another Shakespearean play, but do one of those modern renditions. Like it's the same play just in a modern setting, to take advantage of Krel's Akaridion form like they did with Jim's armor. 

If not in the play he would do stage crew/tech.

Like he would create elaborate settings for them using A5 tech and Ms. Janeth would adore it 

moving on, because home life is pretty lonely with just the Lucy and Ricky for company, Krel loves to host his friends for parties and sleepovers and whatever

and since Krel lives in the coolest house on the block, they love coming over

He hosts girl’s night every other week with Mary, Darci, and Clarie (becauuse she deserves a fucking break) 

since we’ve all agreed that Krel is 100% a gaylien, I love the idea that he casually comes out during a girls night

like Mary would be like “So Krel, are there any girls you like?” and Krel’s just like, “*snort* Girls? Who ever said I like girls?” and the others are like “….....?“ and Krel just rolls his eyes and says "I like boys, ladies” and they’re like “ooooohhhh, okay. Cool.”

So now they spend girls night talking about boys. Claire and Darci about their mans and Mary and Krel about cute boys.

One day the girls give Krel a little rainbow pin and Krel’s just like “what’s this?” And the girls tell him that it’s an earth symbol for the gays and he’s like “theres a symbol for that here? I didnt think it was that big of a deal. On A5 it’s pretty normal” and the girls explain why theres a symbol and he’s like “oh shoot wow, thanks" and he put it on his backpack.

He’s pretty confused the first time someone is homophobic towards him cause like that kind if behavior doesnt happen on A5 and hes just like, “why does this bother you? I hardly know you” and just brushes it off. Its doesnt really bother him, mainly cause he doesnt know the earth insults towards gay people so he doesn’t even realize, but if the girls (or Toby, or even Steve, too) catch anyone being homophobic towards their friend they will attack that asshole on sight. Especially Mary and Steve

Random person on the street: Ha, *slur*

Marry: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM BITCH???

Krel: Marry its fine, it’s not that big of a dealoHSEKLOSANDGAYLENMARYGETOFFOFHIM

Marry: SAY IT AGAIN ASSHAT, I D A R E YOU

Claire and Darci: *trying to hold Mary back* maRY NO

Steve: THATS MY NINJA KICKING SPACE ANGEL GIRLFRIEND'S BROTHER BUTTSNACK I'LL END YOU

Toby: *now chasing after Steve to stop him* stEVE NO

Mary would 100% find out who the rando is and destroy their life on social media. Like she would leak their job, phone number, email, school/college (if applicable) to her thousands of followers and absolutely ruin them with no remorse. And honestly, good for her

Also whilst on the subject, Krel can not drive or cook for 2 reasons: 1. Hes gay and 2. He’s a prince so he’s never had to do either before

Like he can obviously do math but that’s it.

Proof? That one scene in Wizards when Douxie had him drive the airship. You know the one.

Coach Lawrence refuses to get in a car with him at Drivers Ed after the 3rd day Krel shows up.

Krel gets addicted to sugary coffee shop-esc drinks thanks to Darci. Not coffee cause we saw in 3Below Part 1 that he doesnt like coffee, but refreshers, coolattas, frappuccinos etc…? Definitely.

As for warm drinks, he’s more of a tea person.

Moving on

He face calls Aja everyday because he really misses her

He tells her all about school and his friends and whatever and Aja tells him about the changes she’s making to the A5 government

Thanks to the wormhole they visit each other often. Sometimes Steve tags along cause he misses his ninja kicking space queen angel girlfriend. (And Eli, but that's also for another post)

They take turns housing Luug.

Krel genuinely loves it on earth, but he hates the primitive technology so he begs Aja to send him supplies and materials for his projects. 

He would 10000% apply to HexTech for an after school job. Seeing his reaction to HT in Wizards and the fact that “Akaridion tech and magic are so compatible”, he would be the perfect addition to the HT staff. 

The Wizards wouldn’t be sure at first but after he shows them A5 tech and Douxie’s email of recommendation about the time loop thing they made together, the wizards are like “oh yeah we definitely keeping this kid. This is going to be so much fun.”

Their inventions become more and more extravagant because Krel can and he's just extra and the wizards love it.

He would definitely find a way to use magic using A5 tech. But he would have to study magic in order to figure out how, so the wizards help him learn all about magic. And since he's learned everything there is to learn about science and technology and whatever, he's super excited to learn about something completely different and interesting. The wizards are happy to teach him. He would be the first Akaridion to learn and use magic

Like he would make his own staff with his serrator and everything. He's like "earn a staff? Nah fuck that going to make my own"

Speaking of which he really likes human swear words. But he doesnt know when it is and isn't inappropriate to say these swear words so he's gotten in trouble a few times for swearing at the wrong time

For example:

Ms. Janeth: excuse me Mr. Tarron?

Krel: what the fuck do you want?

Everyone in the room: krEL NO

Anyway, back to Krel at HT, thanks to Toby, he would definitely have a bowl of candy in his little lab. More like multiple jars of different candy just scattered around the room. Small candy like fun sized chocolate and skittles and jelly beans and whatever

And a mini fridge, of course.

Steve, Toby and Arrrgh come over to the lab alot to mess around.

Toby has a lot of sci-fi requests for Krel to make

Toby: do you think you can make a shrink ray? Laser blasters? Invisible ray? My own hoverboard? My own serrator *gASP* WITH A WARHAMMER SETTING???? WITH SPACE ARMOR TO MATCH???!!!???!

Krel: Toby you already have a warhammer and armor why do you need more?

Toby: I dont have a space warhammer and armor Krel!!!!!!

Going back to school life, I feel like Krel would take an interest in Spanish class. I mean, his human form is latino and in Trollhunters (I'm pretty sure the lightning in a bottle episode) he said "Si" in response to a question someone asked him, so I feel like he would like to learn another human language. 

I also feel like he would just like to learn about Latin American culture in general since Mother gave him that form. He'd like to get in touch with his human self. 

Claire (when she isnt busy Trollhunting with Jim and the gang) is happy help him learn about Latin American culture and help him with his Spanish. 

Krel, being a fast learner, becomes fluent quickly with a perfect accent. 

Señor Uhl, who already liked the Tarrons to begin with, would really appreciate this. 

Claire's dad would also appreciate this.

Since he has such a fascination with human music, Krel would especially love Latin American music. Specifically reggaeton, since its kind of like techno music in a way and he already likes techno music.

And naturally, he learns to dance. All the styles of latin american dances. And he becomes quite the favorite on the dance floor.

He and Claire become great dance partners cause they both have the natural Latino rhythm and because Jim respects and trusts his girlfriend he doesnt mind them dancing together at parties and stuff

Although, Jim does ask for dance help at some point cause it looks like fun and he wants to dance with his beautiful talented incredible amazing gf and Krel is happy to teach him and anyone else who wants dance help. 

GUITAR LESSONS with Douxie cause in 3Below Krel said he really wanted to learn how to play guitar, steals Shannon’s guitar from the bonfire and is seen multiple times strumming it throughout the series. So of course this is included.

Toby introduces Krel to YouTube and Krel instantly makes his own channel.

of course his channel is called DJ Kleb and he posts his tracks and remixes. and maybe even some vlogs

its a little slow at first, only Arcadia Oaks students are subscribed to it but Mary blows it up by posting one of Krel’s tracks on her own social media and now he has thousands of subscribers

he also gained other forms of social media like Instagram and Tiktok, platforms to post his music

At this point every girl in school wants to be friends with Krel but not in the toxic GBF (gay best friend) way, girls just genuinely think he's 10x more interesting than every other boy in Arcadia Oaks

I think that's it for now sorry this is really long I just really love Krel and I had so many ideas. Feel free to add on!!