#but i'd really rather talk to someone i know

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

"floral blessings" ; a braindump from yours truly because this card is absofuckinglutely my most favorite xavier card on the face of the planet and i am. going. to talk about it <3

like with all my 5* card "analyses" (but also more like a wordvomit really 😭) this will contain spoilers for: (a) this card itself, (b) the lightseeker myth, (c) the lumiere myth, (d) anecdotes, main story, and world underneath !

[ this is also very long............ you have been warned 🤲 ]

first of all...... MY GOD...... FHSNNFBSJFJSJFK YELLING SCREAMING THROWING UP IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE KINDLED CARD FOR THIS BECAUSE. BECAUSE HELLOOOO??? HELLOOOO???

anyway..................

timeline-wise, the card pretty much implies a very solid relationship between the two, so while i don't know where i'd place it between 21 days and no restraint, it's definitely still after 21 days! but with that said, rather than more focus on their individual development like in no restraint, this one seems to focus more on their relationship as a whole, i think?

overall this braindump won't be as organized as what i wrote for no restraint (i think...) because my brain is still so completely absolutely mush over this card, but i needed to write SOMETHING or i'd explode to smithereens 😭 so nevertheless...!!!! i'll section off a couple scenes so if you want an outline, it'd be something like:

[1] general setup (an overview of parallels); [2] "reunion" (parallels and relationship development); [3] xavier's forwardness (the courtyard meetings, lessons, giving of the mask); [4] day of the festival; [5] the wish

but bear with me;;; there is SO MUCH that goes on here, and i really wish i had the patience and coherency to point out every little thing because holy shit 😭

firstly though, and i just found this really cool, but apparently the flower goddess festival is (was) an actual thing!

from what i've found (and correct me in i'm wrong) it's apparently a very ancient festival that's not widely celebrated these days, so it's not super popular or well-known, but it has many names such as: "Flower Goddess Festival (花神节 huāshén jié)" "Hundred Flowers’ Birthday (百花生日 bǎihuā shēngrì)" and "Flower Goddess’ Birthday (花神生日 huāshén shēngrì)" !!! i couldn't find much information about it though, but it seems that what was in the card such as the flower cakes and the dance really were actually part of the festival~ and i've also seen people say that xavier and mc's outfits feel to be from the tang dynasty, which a lot of people speculate is the time period that this festival originated!

BUT, MOVING ON...

i. general setup — an overview of parallels

i think honestly what's most interesting to me here is how much the overall card mirrors xavier's lightseeker myth so incredibly well. with all of xavier's cards, and how he's grown as a person and how their relationship has developed overall... so much of all of that ties to who he was as a lightseeker, to who he was as the prince of philos. in fact, it goes without saying that lumiere's myth story itself is so bound to the lightseeker myth. because, and i've said this so often and repeat myself a lot with it, lumiere is a direct reflection of the princely persona xavier has grown up with. that the reason he's always been so averse to who he becomes as lumiere is because he essentially channels prince xavier, someone who he's never thought to be truly him, someone who he's been wanting to push aside and no longer be. (i talk about it in my lumiere myth braindumps and touch on it in my no restraint braindump!)

and there's something about that reflection that transfers here, too, because there are two things that all three situations have in common: (1) a position of importance, and (2) a duty to do or fulfil something.

of the prince of philos and heir to the throne, of lumiere as the strongest hunter expected to protect the citizens, of the young master—usually the son of a wealthy family, however, in this case xavier claims he was "adopted" due to his calligraphy skills—with the task of seeing the festival through and teaching the flower goddesses calligraphy.

yet, at the same time, there's something different about the way xavier assumes this role of the "young master":

he's able to say no.

the role is lighter, likely because it's not a true role and, like mc as a flower goddess, he knows that it's temporary—but the way that their first meeting in the courtyard can remind you so much of prince xavier is almost jarring.

it's reminiscent of the very first time mc sees him with his bodyguards, in our most favorite anecdote "when shooting stars fall":

"They aren't clad in all black as one would expect, and they keep a respectable distance away from Xavier. Still, these people exude an air of oppression. Xavier, with his bag, is at the center of their group. It seems he's used to being stared at. The only difference is that rather than being his usual expressionless self, he appears slightly upset."

lt's reminiscent of that time they staged a spar, only for the royal messenger and his guards to interrupt it:

"The royal decree he brought today was related to the future of Philos ... Xavier was taken away by the Royal Messenger. Our duel ended with no clear winner, and the crowd quickly left."

and you can see how his progression grows, from prince xavier, to lumiere, to this role he plays as the young master—if as the prince of philos he had no choice but to follow the path laid out for him until he had enough of it, as lumiere he was more free to choose who he saved and when he saved them. now, as the young master, he's able to say no, sir, something urgent came up. he's able to say right now, i have something that i want to do first.

which, also interestingly, but in the more 'passive' role he played as part of the special task force, he wasn't quite one to say "no" either—though he kept a low and nonchalant profile, he's never outright refuted anyone, even if he might disagree, such as the party gathering or whatnot.

(also, slight segue, but it's notable that he's likely grown into a habit of a little selfishness due to what appears to be some kind of aversion to "serving the people". i do talk a little bit about that here—but it's the fact that (a) all he really cares about is mc, and (b) he likely still doesn't want to fall back into his patterns as prince xavier where he felt chained to think of the people more than the woman he loves. it does bring a little bit of question to his morality, but we know that mc has very much been something like his moral compass throughout.)

but, more than just the ability to say what he thinks and say no to certain things he doesn't put as a priority... he also feels light enough to goof around a little. dozing off/doodling during class, cheekily vying for mc's attention without concern about showing "favor"... something about xavier in this little persona he's taken on is an air of confidence. this was a kind of confidence you didn't see from him as the prince, as lumiere, even as the task force member. and it's not the confidence in his abilities, which has always been there—

it's the confidence in himself.

it takes a certain level of sureness to be able to do things on your own terms, or to be able to voice the fact that you want to.

i believe that throughout the parallels strewn throughout this card with how the setup is, it's this confidence that shines through and really makes things different.

because this time, xavier is different.

he's growing as a person.

ii. the "reunion"

this part of the card had me gasping out loud, i kid you not 😭😭😭 because the parallels really the fuck parallel in here 😭

"The Chen residence is far away. And I can't exactly leave as I'm one of the Flower Goddesses. So, I had to let Xavier investigate himself."

"He said he'd be back after four days. Why isn't he here ... Worried, I sit on the grass and gaze at the night sky. I'm barely in the mood to appreciate the fragrant blooms above."

first of all, the setting very much feels like the meteor shower scenario in "when shooting stars fall", but also...

"Xavier would always leave me like this. At times he joined the expedition team. Other times he was returning to the palace with the Royal Messenger. I'd always ask when he could return. He always returned within the timeframe given to me.Before the Prince entered the Forest, everyone was praying for his safety. At that time, Xavier whispered into my ear... 'Seven days.'"

"He's always lied, again and again and again and again. He said hope would follow when spring arrived. He said he'd take me to the new planet he discovered.He said he didn't want to be King but also refused to let me stand by another's side. He said he'd return when I miss him. He said when I become the Queen of Philos, he'd be my knight. The song he made up is now a reality. Yet as thousands cheer my name, he abandons me... At that moment, a spaceship soars across the sky like a shooting star, disappearing into the night. My footsteps echo in this empty room. No one will be by my side. My star has left me. And this time... he will not return home."

everyone's favorite scene from the lightseeker myth.

while at the same time...

"For some reason, seeing Xavier quietly admiring the nebula, I suddenly feel a wave of panic and instinctively reach out to grab his hand."

^ that's from "shining traces", but only one out of the many examples wherein mc feels as it xavier is someone she could lose at any second—not particularly because she doesn't trust him, but because there's a nagging feeling in her chest that they could be separated for longer than either of them would have hoped to be. after all, it's happened before already, she just doesn't know it. but whatever it was that happened in her previous lives, i've no doubt that the anxiety from back then had likely transferred over anyway.

and this is what this reunion feels like.

a sense of discomfort around his absence, that nagging "what if" he doesn't come back.

but it doesn't stop there—

because xavier does return, albeit very tired-looking (again i'd call this reminiscent of That Moment in "when shooting stars fall" where he brings her the protocore in hopes to keep her from dying).

and more than that, he explains. again, like what happened in the no restraint card, he explains. he doesn't keep things vague on purpose, or makes it seem like he's hiding something from her. he explains, and he takes the initiative to, if only to soothe her worries.

to soothe her worries.

that's an important point.

(and also on a side note:)

HDJJAJDJSJ I HAD TO AND THIS IS A DIRECT PARALLEL TO "No matter how many times it takes, no matter where you are... I will find you." BY THE WAY

anyway......!!!!!!!!! again, it doesn't stop there.

because this scene and this conversation also directly talk about home.

and this conversation means a lot more to xavier than, i think, generally one would realize. mostly because—and i remember kay making a really good point about it here—xavier has gone through a lot to get to where we see him now, and so much of change that he's had to get used to... time traveling so far only to get stuck? the different lifetimes he and the backtrackers would have had to witness this whole entire time?

like i mentioned, our brain's natural instinct is to strive for stability—you can even see it in what we know from our high school biology lessons a la homeostasis. yet, what xavier went through, what the backtrackers went through, is one hell of a shock of a change. it's the kind of change that needs processing, but isn't easy to process, and especially not quickly. and xavier had little to no one to lean on for support, to lean on to guide him through it. the result of which being that, as established even in his earlier cards... change isn't something he likes.

and as also established in world underneath, we know he just simply wants a neat little mundane life with mc.

keyword: with mc.

he doesn't really know what home is, because he has a distorted perception of it—the xavier now, in this moment, still recalls his home planet, the life he has ties to, back in philos. but as he is now, his home is in linkon. and then it comes to the conclusion that the answer is, really truly, neither.

his home is with her.

he says it, this time, explicitly.

it's his declaration that it's okay if things change, as long as he has her—as long as she remains the constant. then change is something he can deal with.

yet, even as he reveals all this to her, the conversation starts with him asking her. the conversation starts about her. and it's she who's able to give the opening back to him, by touching on things like change and belongingness.

"Even in a place this strange, you'll feel like you don't belong. No matter how long you stay ... Am I wrong? l'm sure many people feel safer in a place they're familiar with."

mc isn't a stranger to change, either—she's had a lot of it in her life, specifically the life she lives now as a hunter. the chronorift catastrophe, her family... it's not as if she doesn't know how jarring change can be, and she expresses that here—having to "start again" in a place she's unfamiliar with... it's not easy, and it's easy to feel out of place.

humans are social creatures. we were made to be social, we were made to interact with others. but from that need and that inherent desire (because no matter how small, it's always going to be there) stems the need to belong. a human emotional need to affiliate with and be accepted by members of a group.

this is something that is so prominent in mc that it is a place of solace for her to feel like she belongs somewhere. but this sense of belongingness is something that xavier has NOT experienced for a long, long time. it's only something he's been learning to experience again with her, and the people that surround them in this life that want nothing but the best for them both.

it goes back:

his home is wherever she is.

and i think that it's beautiful that, after hearing xavier's side, mc then chooses to agree with it:

"Maybe... the sense of belonging I have is like yours."

if his home is wherever she is, then her home is with him.

ALSO— while we're talking about this scene... the little banter they have with the flower cake?????? AND THE FACT THAT HE KISSES HER?!!?!?!?! JUST LIKE THAT!!!???!?!?!?!?!! (if you can't tell, i yelled about it)

AND THIS SCENE;?!

—"His eyes are a little red, maybe because of how exhausted he's been lately. Even his blinking has slowed down ... 'I'm a little tired. Can I lie down for a bit?'"

—"Before I can answer, Xavier rests his head on my lap."

DIRECTLY plays out the mutual reliance they have on one another for comfort and rest, because it parallels that line in lightseeking ovsession that we're all familiar with:

"You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me."

i think that as much as they have been growing in to their own persons, they're both so closely intertwined, and so much of their love for each other really just pours out all the time.

iii. xavier's forwardness

granted, one thing that's interesting in this is that they do start out pretty tame. there's a little bit of a vague area concerning their relationship at the start of the card, especially since mc seems back into her old habits of starting something and not following through—or otherwise, unintentionally starting something, and then shying away afterwards. she does get noticeably flustered, but she pushes the fluster away... almost as if old habits die hard.

...but xavier, on the other hand, is more consistently bold with whatever he's doing.

there's no hesitation on his part at all, even.

in fact, xavier is the one who initiates most of these things, and doesn't shy away from it. his cheekiness really shines through—he's the one who kisses her suddenly (and for all the other kisses he initiates in the card); he's the one who fixes her clothes, her hair; he's the one playing around while teaching her calligraphy; he's the one who's so eager and unbothered about showing off their relationship:

—"Did we need to hide? Or can the Young Master not chat with a Flower Goddess?"

—"It was going to be awkward... And I heard one of the hosts of this ceremony is the mansion's owner. Since you're an organizer and the Young Master, it wouldn't look good if I was biased, right?"

—He touches the small of my back, which makes me stand up straight. "But you always have special place in my heart."

and:

"Well, I guess everyone knows now. Does this mean I can officially play favorites?"

like he's actually being SUCH a menace i had to pause and take a deep breath

but he's very consistently bold, and it, again, goes back to the confidence that he's gained in himself. he seems a little less of the uncertain, almost shy ish xavier who didn't quite know how to make proper advances... this time, he knows mc is comfortable with his advances, and he gets to play around with that. they're comfortable around each other, to this point that he can be a little more free with his words and his actions.

and eventually, we see mc beginning to reciprocate that again—especially during the festival itself, and in the kindled moments.

which brings me to...

iv. the festival day

i'd specifically talk about, here, the moment before the dance and during the dance.

because it's alao the exact moment that we see mc begin to actually reciprocate and throw back her own advancements—it's the exact moment we have a confirmation that she loves him, that she adores him, that he means so so so so much to her.

and on the day of the festival, we go back to what i highlighted earlier:

he soothes her worries.

the first instance we see this is their little "reunion" that we talked about—it's his very presence, and his added explanation, that calms her down in that moment.

and now is not so different:

—"The most important part of the ceremony, the Flower Goddess Dance, is about to begin. I glance again at the crowd. 'Where will you be during the dance?'"

—"Xavier gently takes my hand that's holding the petal. 'That flower from the roadside will wilt if you keep touching it.'"

—"'I'm just a little nervous.'"

—"'Scared of dancing, hunter? Actually, I got you a gift ... It was meant to be a surprise. But since you're feeling nervous, I figured I should tell you."

—"'That works. Now, my focus has shifted to the excitement about your gift.'"

(which, another side note, but "Scared of dancing, hunter?" had me GASPING because???? the way he teases her in this?! it's so unabashedly him without holding anything back, no coyness about it but he's being a cheeky little shit 😭 i adore him...)

a few things to note here is that out of context, it does feel like a little bit of an awkward way to be comforting someone—yet, it works extremely well. what xavier does here is not provide reassuring sugarcoated words like "it's going to be okay", he distracts her from the problem instead by giving her something to look forward to. which, in this case, is the gift.

interestingly, in a way the 'distracting' is also reminiscent of something he does when he tries to hide something from her—cutting the conversation short when she asks about lumiere, in the lumiere myth asking her to go check on the 'wanderer' so as not to let her see what he had to inject from the ship...

in his lightseeker myth, they talk briefly about his fight with the king, and the possibility of him no longer taking the throne. this conversation proves vague and a little bit one-sided, and in the end he pushes forward the idea of eloping to uluru almost as if to avoid further discussion about the fight itself.

but this time, that's not particularly where he stops: he addresses her question as well, just to find a fallback, an extra little bit of reassurance.

—"'See that tree over there? I'll be standing under it.'"

—"I follow Xavier's gaze. Nearby is a tree covered in red silk ribbons and wooden plaques by the bridge. 'So if I mess up the dance, you'll see everything, huh?'"

—"'I promise I'll forget about them after a good sleep.' His gaze remains on my face, appearing indifferent. Yet I sense a passion about to overflow. 'The only thing l'll remember today is your beauty.'"

FIRST OF ALL. "The only thing I'll remember today is your beauty." A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING LINE, BY THE WAY. IT GAVE ME LITERAL BUTTERFLIES I HAD TO PAUSE FOR A MOMENT. (1) more proof that in the end she's really all he cares about, (2) he's being unabashedly bold with his words again—no filter moment, but zero hesitation, (3) "i sense a passion about to overflow"? he's not being coy about this either, he's saying what he truly feels. he's opening up and expressing himself more, expressing his love for her more, and being genuine about it!

but also, in terms of additional comfort, it's a widely known tactic in states of panic to ground yourself by using your senses to register something familiar: you see something familiar to you, hear something familiar to you, touch something familiar to you, smell something familiar to you. such as, the ground beneath your feet. the air around you, the vague sound of chattering around you, maybe even the touch of your bag, or the fabric of your clothing, the window you know has always been there, etc. panic brings about a sense of derealization, and grounding yourself is usually the first step to calming down.

what xavier is doing now is offering the knowledge to her that he will be there. that she knows exactly where to look for him if she needs to during the dance. she has the opportunity to ground herself with his presence whenever she needs to.

(and again, it's a direct reflection of that line: "You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me.")

and it's exactly what she does.

though she ends up enjoying the dance and the crowd does block her direct view of the tree during the dance itself, she takes comfort in the fact that she knows he's there.

she trusts him; she doesn't need to see him to know that he'd there.

and then she thinks something beautiful:

"Engrossed in the dance's rhythm, my mind is strangely at peace. After all, I know there's someone in the crowd whose eyes are only on me."

once again, it goes back—his presence offers her comfort.

the first thing she does once she's received all the flowers is run to him, and he waits for her gladly. like he's always waited for her, like he always will wait for her.

"A lot of people wanted to give you flowers. I couldn't get past them, so I decided to wait for you here. Seems they're quite fond of you, just like me."

a note: the peach blossom

i figured this deserved a section on its own actually, particularly because the whole theme is this whole "flower goddess" thing... and in the beginning, we see mentions of the "goddess of daffodils" and the "goddess of peonies".

yet, we never really truly find out what mc's potentially assigned flower was—

the only mention of a flower that we do see, directly related to her, is when the little kid compliments her hair and places a peach blossom into her basket.

and while i wouldn't know if this means it's her flower or not, but the specific mention of the peach blossom is adorable, because in chinese floriography, the peach blossom represents love.

it's used in a lot of chinese literature and often associated with the arrival of spring—which, "according to the rites of zhou, the middle of spring is a period when men and women fall in love freely." therefore, a lot of chinese literature and poems also allude peach blossoms to romance, being that spring does as well. but, it's also associated with beauty: "after the wei and jin dynasties, beauties were portrayed in a more detailed way with words like taohua mian (peach-blossom-like face) or tao sai (peach-blossom-like cheek)." and there are other things it represents too, like prosperity, growth, and longevity.

when xavier gives mc the hairpin at the end, mc describes it as "pretty and adorned with pink flowers as if they are on a branch", and while not explicitly stated, i do believe that they are also peach blossoms.

whether or not that's the case, and whether or not the peach blossom was mc's flower (or maybe that it's just generally part of the festival), i think it's a really cute detail! i think it perfectly represents their growing relationship, and essentially the beauty with which xavier always sees her~

BUT, MOVING ON.....

v. the wish

the final stretch boils down to this.

"A gentle breeze stirs the wooden plaques hanging from the branches. A faint, melodic sound dances in the air. 'They say a Flower Goddess can bless people's wishes. And if the person making the wish is someone she favors, it's more likely to come true.'"

it's where the kindled moment falls, as xavier proposes for them to make a wish together.

and, mind you, this whole entire scene is ADORABLE AND LIVES RENT FREE IN MY HEAD ... the playfulness between their words, the "if i tell you my wish, it won't come true", the way xavier CARRIES HER??? AND THE WAY HE CATCHES HER WHEN SHE FALLS AND PINS HER AGAINST THE TREE AND AND AND AND.

everytime i think of it i end up keysmashing in my head IT'S JUST SO CUTE i could burn it into my head 😭😭😭😭

but, AHEM, he also says...

"Throughout history, humanity has always made the same wishes. Perhaps it's because those feelings we have... are timeless."

i think it's a really pretty line, but more than how pretty it is, i think it represents xavier perfectly.

xavier has lived long enough, and he's likely also made similar wishes along the way. for mc to be safe, for mc to be happy... things along those lines. and for him to describe that as "timeless" also represents his love for her—because it is timeless. he loves her more than anything else in the world. it transcends space, and time, and anything else; to him, she is love. she is timeless.

it's worth noting that everytime xavier and mc get scenes where they wish together, xavier never really says what his wishes are.

in "when shooting stars fall", mc wishes for many things. for xavier's freedom and happiness, for her to be healthy, for time to stop in their moment together... for xavier's freedom, xavier's happiness, and, in her final moments—"i wish to meet you in my next life." but he's never said explicitly what he wished for at all.

in "warm wishes", mc also mentions a lot of wishes:

"I wished I could pass all my tests with flying colors and go to a good university. I wished for Grandma to be healthy. I wished for my neighbor's cat to come home..."

and her actual wish that night was:

"l wish.... everyone can have snowflakes fall on their shoulders when they're lonely, and see the stars when they're lost."

yet that night, xavier didn't make a wish. he explicitly stated:

"l didn't make a wish. I want to save my wish for when I need it the most. Plus, everything I want right now has come true."

...but this time is different.

he did make a wish.

and, this time around, he specified what it is.

"I wish I can be your sanctuary until the end of time, in your eyes."

this is a wish that's important to him. he chooses to make this wish, and he chooses to tell her about it.

there's a lot to dissect in just one statement alone, because it's so imbued into the xavier that's loved her for thousands of years.... the xavier that has grown and developed into who he is in this moment.

a sanctuary is a place of refuge and protection; a place of safety. a place of comfort. a place of rest.

and multiple times throughout this card, it highlights how xavier has been able to offer mc a certain sense of comfort. even right when the results are announced, one look at him calms her down—this part really got me.

"I glance nervously at Xavier. He makes eye contact with me, and his gaze conveys a steadfast reassurance."

it's a recurring theme in the card—comfort. peace. the peace that you can find in someone. the safety that you can find in someone. in this case, mc with xavier, and vice versa.

...and i've always associated xavier with comfort, but peace and safety have been attributes i've been hesitant to associate with him, because it's different. for you to feel safe with someone, for you to feel at peace with someone, they need to communicate, as well, a certain sense of steadfast reassurance. xavier has always been soft and comfortable, but he hasn't always exuded that steadfast type of aura.

i think that this is something that he himself realizes.

i've mentioned it before, but his wish is also a direct parallel to That Line from lightseeking obsession.

"You rest, I’ll be by your side. Always. If you have nowhere to go, nowhere to rest your weary self… you can stay with me."

yet there's also a striking difference.

what is different?

the person that he's developed into.

prince xavier, lightseeker xavier—as i mentioned earlier, there's a certain kind of confidence in himself that isn't present, and it shows. i would argue that he was at his most vulnerable that time, likely more vulnerable than when they first landed on earth, because he didn't know how to treat his relationships at all. he was too bound by the confines of what everyone, and i mean everyone, including mc at the time, wanted him to be. there was never clear communication with anyone, and it mostly seems as if he's been going through the motions—as opposed to more freedom that he's been granted on earth.

and it shows, because, that line in lightseeking obsession—does not exude confidence.

it's a comforting statement, sure...

but it's not even something that mc herself believes.

"you always lie."

it's as if xavier, as much as he's trying to comfort mc, is trying to reassure himself, too—he tries too hard to make himself appear reassuring to her that it falls short, all this on top of the times that she feels she's been let down by him.

it's ironic, almost. he says such a bold declaration despite knowing that there's a chance he wouldn't be able to keep it.

but this is different.

this time, xavier has grown to he sure of who he is and who he wants.

he said it in 21 days—"every version of me belongs to you, and only you."

yet despite the confidence that he now has in himself, notice how different this is to lightseeker's line—

he's wishing.

and he specifies that he wants it to be true in her eyes.

it's as if he's saying, i'm not sure if this is what you think about me, but i do know that i want it to be what you think about me.

he's not reassuring her; he's not making a bold declaration. he's not saying, you will think of me as a sanctuary. neither is he saying, i will be your sanctuary.

he's saying, i want to be your sanctuary.

the final decision falls to her.

the confidence lies in stating what he wants, and there's no fear in it—there's no hesitation, nothing that implies that he's scared to say it. he's confident in what he says, and either confident that she'll accept it, or confident that no matter what her choice is in the matter it's okay.

that's why this wish is so strong.

and it's mc who then says, at the end;

"I wanted to tell you that your wishes will always come true."

because she reciprocates.

and this whole moment, everything that happens from hereon—the results, the hairpin...

—"'If you meet a Flower Goddess you like, give her fresh flowers. It's a local custom here. But there are many people who admire you, and all of them have given you flowers. My flower wouldn't be special enough. So, I made a flower hairpin. This is the first time I made one, though. Don't judge it too harshly.'"

—"Xavier's hand is warm. Like petals being carried on the wind, his smile descends and touches my heart. 'What makes you say that? It's amazing. Besides, even if you just gave me flowers, they'd be the most special ones l've ever received.'"

it's worth noting that the scene where xavier gives the hairpin is also very much the same way he makes the wish. he does admit that he doesn't know if she'd appreciate flowers—but he takes it a step forward. he knows he wants to be extra special, he knows he wants her to have something she'll remember, so he does something different. he makes, and gives her, a flower hairpin. of his own accord.

it doesn't stop at his insecurities, which he still has—he takes those insecurities and spins them into something he can be sure of himself.

and there it is again.

the steadfast reassurance.

and it's what makes the moment so much more memorable to mc, so much more meaningful.

and it's why, then, he can say things like this:

"No matter what happens, I'm always blessed to have someone by my side, who makes my gaze never feel alone."

"Forever is but a collection of moments strung together. With every minute comes another, second after second. When I open my eyes again, I want you to still be by my side."

it's in a way wherein xavier is able to take some lead in their relationship, because he's more sure of himself this time. and it progresses their relationship in a way that it wouldn't have if he never learned—he's learning. he's growing. and he's really truly turning out to be someone that can love with his whole heart, without holding back.

i think this card showcases that the most, and maybe that's why i love it so much <3

ALSO, P.S., ONE MORE PARALLEL—

xavier says that the flowers are blooming beautifully this season—"it smells like spring". in his lightseeker myth, he says: "With spring's arrival, hope is soon to follow."

and its just a neat lil thing, i think <3 spring is always so closely associated with xavier, and the card really does end on such a light and hopeful note.

[allthesmutl0vers]

Muggle!Reader x George Weasley

Request: Fluffy Muggle!reader with George please!

@jason-todd-fangirl-14

TW: None, just fluff! 💜

A/N: I really hope you like it, I just kind of ran with it. 😅

"And what's this?" George asks curiously at the TV in the livingroom.

I can't help but chuckle, rolling my eyes with a smile as I grab the remote and turn it on. It never ceases to amaze me that with all the magic wizards have, they don't have TV. "It's a TV, Georgie," I say as the TV turns on and I open Netflix, sitting down on the couch. I pat the cushion next to me. "Come watch with me."

"Wicked," he smiles wide, taking the remote in his hands and looking it over. "Is this like a wand for the, TV, you called it?"

I smile and nod, giving him the run down of how it works. "You can pick whatever you want," I tell him with a smile.

"What do you like to watch?" George asks me. "I want to watch what you like."

I smile and tell him the name of my current obsession, telling him how to search for it. "Wow, and they do all of this, without magic?" He asks in shock.

I giggle as I lay my head on his shoulder. "Now you know how I feel whenever you do magic," I tease.

George chuckles as he wraps an arm around me and pulls me closer, tipping my chin up to meet his face. "Beautiful, you mean?" He says softly, kissing the tip of my nose.

I shake my head and chuckle softly. "You're incorrigible," I respond, the doubt from before he came to visit creeping up inside of me again like a snake, twisting around my insides.

"What's wrong, love?" He asks, his brows furrowed in curiosity and worry.

I sigh, looking down at my hands. "It's silly," I shake my head.

George quickly tips my head back up again, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "Tell me."

"I just..." I bite my lower lip. "I just wonder why you're with me, is all. After all, I'm just a muggle. Wouldn't you rather be with a witch? I'm sure all of the girls at your school are beautiful. And they can do all sorts of magic, and I'm just," I feel the tears well in my eyes. "Ordinary," the word makes me feel like shit.

George breathes deeply, looking into my eyes, seemingly thinking for a few moments before he speaks. "There is nothing wrong with ordinary, my love," He says calmly. "Yes, the girls at my school may be witches, but I don't want them. I want you."

I want to believe him, and a part of me does, but how could he want someone ordinary when he is anything but? His whole world is anything but ordinary. "What happens if we want to get married?" I ask. It's a logical question, would he be willing to leave his entire world behind for me? Would I really be willing to let him?

George blinks a few times as if he's processing my question. We haven't talked about marriage before, but with us both about to finish school and the doubts I have, it seems like the right time to bring it up. "I don't want you to have to walk away from everything you know," I explain to his silence. "You can't do magic around muggles and it just feels like I'd be ripping you away from the only world you-"

George cuts me off, pressing his lips to mine. "I'd bring you with me," he says against my lips.

"W-what?" I ask, slightly confused.

George chuckles and shakes his head, pulling back and brushing through my hair with his fingers. "You heard me, silly girl," he smiles. "I'd bring you with me. You can live in my world. I know how much you love magic, you can see it every day at the joke shop me and Fred want to open," he smiles.

"But, I'm not a witch," I remind him. "I'm not allowed in your world. Your family practically has to smuggle me in. How many times can I use the excuse that I 'lost my wand' before people catch on?"

"If you marry me, you don't have to hide being a muggle. And you'll be able to stay," he says with a smile, brushing my cheek with his fingers.

"I can?" I ask in disbelief. I feel the heavy weight of doubt lift off of me and be replaced with excitement. My eyes widen and a huge smile forms on my face. "Why didn't you tell me before?!" I ask with a smile, swatting his chest.

George laughs, catching my hand and holding it in his. "I didn't want you to think I was rushing you or asking you before you were ready," he blushes. "Would you want to live in my world?" He asks as I watch him pull a small box from his pocket.

My hands cover my mouth, I can't believe my eyes as he opens it, revealing the ring inside. "Oh, Georgie. It's beautiful," I gasp, cupping his face and pressing my lips to his.

George kisses me back with a smile before pulling back. "Is that a yes?" he asks nervously.

I nod, feeling tears well in my eyes. "Yes."

[solxamber]

Antinomy - Leo Kurosagi x reader

You and Leo have been at each other's throats for the past few years. So why does it feel so wrong when he shows up at your door bruised and bloody? aka the prompt: "I didn't know where else to go"

The knock is sharp, almost a thud, one that echoes through the room like the reverberation of some bad omen. It’s well past two in the morning, and nothing good ever comes from visitors at this hour. But still, curiosity gets the better of you, and you open the door with more force than you intend.

You freeze. It’s Leo.

He’s leaning against the doorframe, disheveled, one arm clutching his side. His usual smug demeanor is nowhere to be found; instead, his face is bruised, streaks of dried blood trailing from his nose. There’s a cut above his eyebrow, barely clotted, and his shirt is torn like it’s seen better days—like he’ seen better days. It’s probably the first time you’ve ever seen him so out of sorts.

“What the hell…” You can barely get the words out as he leans more heavily on the frame, gritting his teeth.

“Look,” he rasps, voice rougher than the usual annoyingly smug tone, “I didn’t know where else to go.”

You stare, unblinking, taking in the sight of him—your infamous rival, the bane of your existence, now standing battered and barely on his feet. A barrage of thoughts rush through your mind. The first: how the hell did he end up like this? The second: why is he here?

When you don’t immediately move or speak, Leo’s mouth curls into something resembling a smirk—though it’s weaker, a shadow of his usual arrogance. “Sho’s out of town… and as much as you love hating me… we both know you don’t hate me enough to leave me out here bleeding.”

Your jaw tightens at that. The nerve. But he’s right. Damn him, he’s always right when it comes to this—knowing just how far to push before you break.

“What did you do?” you finally snap, folding your arms, though it feels more like an attempt to shield yourself from whatever storm’s about to follow him inside.

“Picked the wrong fight,” he mutters. “Didn’t turn out quite the way I expected.”

“Clearly.” You look him up and down, incredulous. “And Alan? Why didn’t you just call Alan?”

A wince flashes across his face as he tries to straighten himself. “I'm already on thin ice with him. I'd rather not hear it from him right now.”

“You expect me to help you? You do realize who you’re talking to, right?” You bite out, though a part of you already knows you’ll cave. There’s something different about Leo tonight. Gone is the usual bravado, the mocking quips and cynical remarks. In their place, you see desperation—vulnerability. He wouldn’t have come here unless he really had no other option.

“Come on,” he breathes, his voice fraying at the edges. “As much as you’d love to see me suffer, you wouldn’t let me bleed out on your doorstep.”

You hate that he’s right. And you hate that some twisted part of you does care—more than you’re willing to admit, even now. With a sigh, you step back, allowing him entry.

“Fine,” you huff, “but don’t expect me to play nice.”

“I’d never expect that from you,” he says with a pained grin as he limps inside.

You close the door behind him, trying to ignore the pounding in your chest. You’re rivals—you hate him, really—and yet, here you are, letting him into your space, into your life when he’s at his weakest. It’s irrational. It’s stupid. But it’s Leo, and you’ve never been able to figure out why you care so much about someone who’s made your life extremely inconvenient for so long.

“Sit,” you order, motioning toward the couch.

He gives you a mock salute, then collapses onto the cushions with a groan, clutching his side tighter.

“What the hell happened to you?” You grab a first-aid kit from the kitchen, already mentally preparing yourself for a long night.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Leo mumbles, though the way he winces with every breath tells a different story. “Just got a little out of hand.”

“A little?” You raise an eyebrow, kneeling down in front of him to examine the damage. His knuckles are bloodied, the cut on his eyebrow still oozing slightly. His shirt’s soaked with sweat, and you can see the bruises spreading across his ribs. He looks like he’s been through a war.

Leo watches you with an unreadable expression as you start cleaning his wounds. “What’s with the concern, hmm? Thought you’d be celebrating right about now. Finally got me on my knees, and not in the way you imagined.”

You glare at him, pushing a bit harder on the wound than necessary. He hisses but doesn’t flinch. “Shut up, Leo. You’re lucky I don’t kick you while you’re down.”

He chuckles softly, though it’s strained. “You always had a mean streak.”

“Maybe I just hate you.”

His grin falters for a moment, something almost… hurt flickering in his eyes. “Yeah, maybe.”

There’s a beat of silence, the weight of the moment pressing down on both of you. You’ve patched him up as best you can and cleaned the wounds on his knuckles but they still looked raw and painful. But the tension in the air is thick, and neither of you seems willing to break it.

“You didn’t have to come here,” you murmur, sitting back on your heels, arms crossing over your chest again. “You could’ve gone to anyone. Your fans would’ve eaten this up. Why come to me?”

Leo’s gaze shifts to the floor. For the first time since you opened the door, he looks… unsure.

“I… I didn’t want them to see me like this,” he admits quietly, his usual cocky bravado nowhere to be found. “And Sho wasn’t around. You were the only one I thought of.”

Your heart skips a beat, though you fight to keep your expression neutral. “Why?”

“Because I knew you wouldn't let me bleed out,” he says, so softly you almost don’t hear it.

And there it is. The vulnerability beneath all the layers of arrogance and wit. The part of Leo you’ve only ever caught glimpses of. You’ve always known it was there, buried deep under his ego, but seeing it now, laid bare in front of you, feels… different.

“Dumbass,” you mutter, looking away. “You picked a fight, got yourself hurt, and now you’re here expecting me to fix it.”

“I don’t expect you to fix anything,” he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I just didn’t know where else to go.”

You take a deep breath, trying to rein in your frustration. He’s hurt, and despite all the history between you two—the constant bickering, the rivalry that’s lasted years—this is different. He came to you when he was at his lowest, and there’s something in that which makes your chest tighten.

You sit down beside him on the couch, careful to give him space but not too much. It’s a strange feeling, having Leo so close, especially like this—broken, vulnerable, his cocky grin now replaced by something far more human.

“Why do you always do this to yourself?” The words slip out before you can stop them, not exactly what you meant to say, but the only thing that comes to mind. “You pick fights you know you can’t win and rely on Sho to bail you out. What do you think will happen if he can’t make it in time?” You gesture toward his battered state. “And when he couldn’t, you showed up at my door?” Your voice trembles as you take a shuddering breath. “Do you expect me to pick up the pieces?”

Leo glances at you out of the corner of his eye, and for a second, you think he might laugh it off, make some snide remark like he usually does. But he doesn’t. Instead, he just sighs, leaning his head back against the cushions, eyes closing.

“I don’t know,” he admits quietly, and it catches you off guard. “Maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment.”

You shake your head, frustration boiling beneath the surface. “That’s not an answer, Leo. You’re reckless. You put yourself in danger just for the thrill of it, and then what? You expect people to be there to bail you out?”

“I don’t expect anyone to do anything for me,” he says, his voice sharp, but there’s an edge of defeat in it. “Not even you.”

“Then why come here?” you press, anger rising. “Why not just go home and patch yourself up like you usually do?”

He opens his eyes, turning his head to look at you. There’s something raw in his gaze, something you’ve never seen before. It’s unsettling, like he’s letting you in, showing you a part of himself that he’s always kept hidden.

“Because I knew you’d actually care,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.

And there it is again, that vulnerability, the crack in his armor. It’s the one thing you never expected from him, and it’s throwing you off balance. You don’t know how to respond, don’t know how to deal with Leo when he’s like this—so exposed, so… real.

You swallow hard, looking away. “You’re an idiot, Leo.”

“Yeah,” he mutters, leaning his head back again, closing his eyes. “I know.”

Silence falls between you, thick and uncomfortable, but also strangely intimate. You can hear his breathing, slow and steady now that he’s stopped trying to act tough. His hand rests on his lap, knuckles still raw from whatever fight he got himself into. Without thinking, you reach out, gently taking his hand in yours, inspecting the damage despite just cleaning it.

He doesn’t pull away.

“You could’ve died,” you say softly, the words almost getting caught in your throat. “And for what? A stupid fight?”

He’s quiet for a long moment, and when he finally speaks, his voice is low, almost pained. “Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if I had.”

Your heart stops. You turn to him, eyes wide, but he doesn’t look back at you. He keeps his gaze fixed on the ceiling, as if he’s afraid to meet your eyes.

“Leo…” you start, but you don’t know how to finish. You’ve never heard him talk like this—so defeated, so broken. It’s like you’re seeing a completely different person, someone who’s been hiding behind that arrogant smirk for years, and it scares you.

“I’m tired,” he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. “Tired of all of it.”

You swallow hard, trying to keep your emotions in check. “Then why do you keep doing it? Why do you keep putting yourself through this?”

“Because I don’t know how to stop,” he admits, his voice trembling. “I don’t know how to be anything else.”

The words hang in the air between you, heavy and suffocating. You can feel the weight of them, pressing down on your chest, making it hard to breathe. You’ve always known that there was more to Leo than the cocky influencer he portrayed online, but you never realized just how deep his insecurities ran.

You squeeze his hand gently, hoping to offer some kind of comfort. “You don’t have to do this alone, you know. You don’t have to keep pretending like everything’s fine when it’s not.”

He laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “And who’s going to help me? You?”

You meet his gaze, holding it this time. “Yes. Me.”

For a moment, neither of you speaks. The tension is thick, but there’s something else there too—something unspoken, something that’s been building between you for years. You’ve always been rivals, always been at each other’s throats, but underneath all of that, there’s been this… connection. This thing that neither of you has ever been willing to acknowledge.

Until now.

Leo’s eyes soften, his usual sharp wit dulled by exhaustion and pain. He watches you for a moment, like he’s trying to figure something out, and then, slowly, he leans in.

You don’t stop him.

His lips brush against yours, tentative at first, like he’s testing the waters, waiting for you to push him away. But you don’t. Instead, you close the distance, pressing your lips to his in a kiss that’s soft, but filled with years of unresolved tension.

It’s messy and imperfect, but it feels right—like this was always supposed to happen, like this was the inevitable conclusion of everything that’s ever passed between you. And for a moment, it’s just the two of you, lost in each other, everything else fading away.

When he finally pulls back, he looks at you with something like disbelief in his eyes, like he can’t quite believe what just happened.

“You…” he starts, but he doesn’t finish. He doesn’t need to.

You just nod, leaning your forehead against his. “Yeah. Me.”

And in that moment, something between you shifts. The walls that you’ve both spent years building up start to crumble, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you’re both just… there. Vulnerable. Real.

It’s terrifying, but it’s also liberating.

“You don’t have to keep doing this, Leo,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “You don’t have to keep fighting.”

He closes his eyes, exhaling softly. “I don’t know how to stop.”

“You don’t have to do it alone,” you say again, squeezing his hand. “I’m here.”

For a long moment, he doesn’t respond. But then, slowly, he nods and buries his face into your neck.

“Okay,” he whispers.

And for the first time in years, Leo lets his guard down.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 Drama CD - Undelivered Letters, Uncommunicated Hearts Eng translation

Well, I figured since it's Hakuoki's 16th anniversary, I'd look for something with Hakuoki in it, and the person who gave him that name, even if it's stupid (there's usually a lot of stupidity in Yuugiroku associated things imo)... so I settled on translating this drama since it was the first one I saw in my files that was most definitely not in the 20-30min range, though this is probably around 15 minutes long... which likely contributed to how long it felt to translate (more than 100 lines in this!).

Also, as of right now, I'm not sure if I'll work on the crossover stuff right now or put that off until October (trying to figure out my schedule since I do want to finish off the last of the Deemo content and I know that I'll be ignoring everything once Veilguard comes out)... going to look for something short to see if I can work on something that I'll be be to put out faster to make up for my missing my normal postings.

Anyway, enjoy~!

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 Store Bonus Drama CD - Undelivered Letters, Uncommunicated Hearts English translation

Translation by KumoriYami

(door opens)

Souji: Hijikata-san~ you free~?

Hijikata: Souji….! Didn't I tell... to not just barge into another person's room without knocking?

Souji:….You're still as petty as before~

Hijikata: Ha?

Okita: Regardless of how many times you remind me, I still forget. So Hijikata-san, I'd like you to tell me again next time~

Hijikata: Don't you always knock when you go to Kondou-san's room?

Okita: Ahaha~ that's seriously unimaginable. Ah, rather than that, this is for you.

Hijikata: What is it... a letter... who sent it?

Okita: Well… there's no sender's name written on it. One of the neighbour kids said that he was asked by someone to deliver this.

Hijikata: Why does one of the neighbour kids have a letter a letter addressed to me?

Okita: I don't know. That kid had been asked by someone to deliver this. The other person apparently said something about "help me deliver this to the man in the Shinsengumi with long hair" or something. I can only think of someone with long hair who receives letters from outsiders as Hijikata-san.

Hijikata: But, none of the people I know would send me a letter through a child. Additionally, I believe there is another person here who has long hair... Let me see... "To my wife/My wife"...

Okita: Areh... how strange, Hijikata-san, you're still a bachelor/single, aren't you?

Hijikata: Even if I was married, I wouldn't be a "wife"! What the hell is wrong with this letter?

Okita: Nn... there are no married women at headquarters.

Hijikata: In the first place, there aren't any women! Besides, temples are generally off-limits to women.

Okita: That's right~ though there is a girl disguised as a man here. Areh, do you think she'll [no pronoun here] be struck by lightning for doing that?

Hijikata: What, Souji, what the hell are you saying, they should be a boy, right?

Okit: It doesn't matter to us, but I wonder if the gods and Buddhas will see through it? And this place is inside a temple.

Hijikata: Generally speaking, even if the gods and Buddhas know the truth, they would not punish a girl for living here. Even the gods and Buddhas would not do such a petty thing.

Okita: Hmph, as expected of Hijikata-san, you're really good at confusing right and wrong/turn black into white [idiom here]. Stop talking nonsense and read the letter.

Hijikata: You were the one who first changed the subject! Seriously...

......

Hijikata: Ah………………

Okita: Hm…………………………

Hijikata: Well………… how do I put this………… the handwriting is quite elegant and beautiful………………

Okita: The handwriting is quite beautiful…………………………

Hijikata:……Actually what's written is incomprehensible…………

Okita:……I can read it, but I can't understand what he wants to say when I read it…………

Hijikata: Hmm… This tone of this is humble on the surface, but its inner contempt is really headache inducing...

Okita: It uses a very arrogant approach, as if it's from someone standing on top of a mountain and looking down over the world…

Hijikata: In other words, this letter is a challenge…?

Okita: You know… generally speaking, those kind of letters are not written to a “wife”, are they…

Hijikata: Well... I can understand the sentence "I'll be waiting for you under the cedar tree behind Nishi Honganji Temple" at the end of the letter…

Okita: I can only understand that sentence. Anyway, let’s go and check it out, if the writer of this letter is waiting there, we can ask him for the details.

Hijikata:...Souji, just in case, I'd like to make sure, if this is a trap set to assassinate us, what should we do?

Okita: Needless to say, of course, we catch the other person and pay them back by giving them a taste of what assassination is. I don't believe that anyone in Kyoto will be able to escape from me and Hijikata-san, right?

Hijikata: Hmph, let's go and confirm this then.

....

(Hijikata and Okita arrive at the designated location)

Hijikata: I remember the appointed time, it should be the evening, right?

Okita: The other person should be here by now~

(footsteps)

???: You two, why are you here?

Okita: You are... Kazama Chikage!

Hijikata: Are you the guy who wants to assassinate us?

Kazama: What nonsense are you saying now?

Okita: What do you think, Hijikata-san?

Hijikata: From his confused expression, it doesn't look like he was seriously coming here…

Kazama: Hey! What are you talking bout! Answer my question first! Why are you two here?!

Hijikata: You're still as arrogant as ever. It's not like we came here by choice. It's just that headquarters received a strange letter and since we couldn't leave it alone, we came to check it out.

Kazama: A strange letter?

Okita: They asked us to meet here in the evening. They other party wanting to assassinate us - we have to prepare for the worst/we even prepared for the worst case scenario.

Hijikata: Were you the guy that sent the letter?

Kazama: Che, you're really good at framing others. Besides, if I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't even have to use such a troublesome method like writing a letter. I would just go ahead and kill you. could just kill you directly.

Okita: In fact, you've attacked us before.

Kazama: The Aizu Domain, which the Shinsengumi answer to, and the Satsuma Domain, which I am lending a hand to, are currently in a cooperative relationship for the time being, and if it weren't for something directly related to that girl, I wouldn't have bothered to pay any attention to you.

Hijikata: So that's how it is.

Kazama: (...That stupid brat... I clearly told him to give the letter to the girl with "her hair tied up high, whose beauty is reflected in her radiant smile, with her petite figure that exudes a sense of gentleness that remains untarnished like a delicate flower while being surrounded by the filth of the Shinsengumi,” and yet he…)

Hijikata: Huh? What the hell are you mumbling about? Did you hear what he said, Souji?

Okita: I heard it… Ha…It's not for a game of communication, so why did you have to say such complicated things to a kid…

Kazama: Shut up! Keep your mouth shut!

Hijikata: Anyway, if this letter wasn’t written for an assassination plot, then it must be some kind of confidential document, right?

Okita: So that's how it is~~~ So you’re saying that it was purposefully written to be hard to understand to hide important information? Now that you mention it, the letter does feel like a cipher.

Kazama: You think that letter is hard to understand? What do you mean?

Hijikata: Even if you ask what that means, it’s difficult to explain that right away…

Okita: Hey, Hijikata-san, the Satsuma Domain and the Shinsengumi are in a cooperative relationship right now, so if Kazama has nothing to do with this letter, it should be fine to read it to him, right?

Hijikta: Huh?

Okita: (Think about it, if this is unrelated to that child, Kazama is unlikely to resort to force. Let's forget about it this time.) Well~ if Kazama wrote this letter to that child, it's a different story.

Kazama: (awkward laughter, sounding extremely unconfident) Ha... ha, ahhahahaha... the one named Okita, what you said is quite interesting. There’s no way I’d write a letter to that girl, and even if I did, how could it end up in your hands.

Hijikata: That's true. The oni appear to be much more capable than humans.

Kazama: Heh… You are quite smart, Hijikata.

Okita: Then, perhaps Kazama will understand the meaning behind this letter, so I'll read it out loud. This is a rare opportunity , and I'd love to hear Kazama's opinions~

Kazama: Huh~ I can guess what the contents of that letter are. Fine, never mind it, just read it out loud and show how elegantly it's been written.

Okita: Pfft, ahahahahaha~!

Hijikata: Sorry to disappoint you, there’s nothing interesting about this letter.

Kazama: Wh-What...!?

Okita: (opens letter) Nn... "In welcoming the early summer breeze, and listening to the music from the festivals, my wife's heart must thumping with joy."...

Kazama: Heh. How poetic. The content clearly reflects the writer's intellect, doesn’t it?

Hijikata: Referring to someone who isn’t even their wife as “my wife” just shows that this person is delusional.

Kazama: Kuh...!!

Okita: "I'm sure that within my wife's heart, a wish has begun to form, and if you are willing to lower your head and beg me to fulfill it, I may grant/fulfill it as your husband."....… Eh, I have absolutely no idea what he’s trying to say with this statement.

Kazama: That’s because your reading comprehension is terrible.

Hijikata: Then... do you understand what it means?

Kazama: Of course. This is a letter inviting the other party to a festival.

Hijikata:……Why not just say that from the start!!!

Kazama: What? You are a fool who doesn't know what love is.

Hijikata: I’m telling you, no one in the world would interpret this as “I'm going through the trouble of inviting you to a festival"!!!

Okita: The whole "music from festivals" thing is completely unrelated! Moreover, what’s with the "lower your head and beg me"? Is this an invitation to the other person, or a threat?

Kazama: What are you not convinced by? That was a high-class invitation.

Hijikata: Stop talking nonsense! I don't know which idiot wrote this, but how could anyone write a letter like this to a woman/their wife [the word here can be translated to either "woman" or "wife"]!

Okita: Yeah, that’s impossible~ they're blindly arrogant, and totally off-topic~

Kazama: You two bastards… to actually join forces…

Hijikata: Huh? What's wrong with you?

Okita: We weren't saying that Kazama is an idiot~ right, Hijikata-san?

Hijikata: That's right, we’re just saying that “this letter wasn’t written by a normal person.” If you’re really trying to invite a girl, instead of spouting nonsense, why not just outright say, “Let’s go to the festival together”? That's what a decisive man would do [I think?].

Kazama:......Hmph.... But, it's impossible for a simple letter to convey the depth of one's admiration.

Okita: Hei~ But even if there was a lot of long-winded and superfluous content, I'm afraid that nothing would be expressed either.

Hijikata: Right, this letter is a perfect example of that. No, it's more like a bad example.

Kazama: You need to understand that this letter conveys the love the love for a wife!! What’s wrong with this love letter!?

Souji: Ah~ this was supposed to be a love letter?

Hijikata: You’ve got to be kidding!!!

Kazama: What is there to be surprised about?

Okita: It's because it says things like "be honoured to walk beside me," and "I'm willing to hold your hand if you want me to," all of which are things that would make the other person completely hate them.

Kazama:...Ha-Hate...!?

Hijikata: If they sincerely like the other person, before boasting about themselves with a contemptuous tone, they need to show respect for the other person first! They should clearly state what they like about her! Even a three-year-old could do that!!!

Okita: If this is really a love letter, I really want to give some advice to the person that wrote it.

Kazama:......Uh......I see/Is that so……

Hijikata: Speaking of which, Kazama! You are you here?

Kazama: Hmph, of course I just happened to bee passing by here. My apologies, but I don't have time to play around with you anymore.

Hijikata:...Hey, hey, Kazama!

Kazama: Although I really want to say "remember this", it's fine if you forget about today! Goodbye!

(Kazama runs off)

Okita:...Ah, he ran away.

Hijikata: He fled way surprisingly quickly.

Okita: What can I say, the truth about humans can be extremely harsh. If he still doesn’t understand what's going on after all that, he’s frighteningly stupid, right, Hijikata-san?

Hijikata: It was just because I couldn't stand him doing something to that guy. In any case, Kazama will probably stay quiet for a while now.

Okita: Areh? Could it be that you were aware of the truth?

Hijikata: Well, what exactly is the truth.

Okita: Is that why you were playing dirty to protect that child?

Hijikata: Don't make such a disgusting smile, Souji. I just don't want him doing anything because Yukimura Chizuru is nothing more than a member under the Shinsengumi's jurisdiction/is someone under the care of the Shinsengumi [could also be interpreted as being "a member of the Shinsengumi], so don't make any weird speculations.

Okita: As expected of Hijikata-san, for the purpose of protecting a girl, you willingly transform into a demon.

Hijikata: Didn't I tell you to stop talking nonsense!...... Hey, Souji... you actually knew the truth from the beginning, did that on purpose, right! ?

Okita: Hahahaha~ then let's run back to headquarters~! (runs off)

Hijikata: Hey~!!! Stop right there!! Stop running!!

(runs)

....

...

Hijikata Toshizou, Miki Shinchiro

Okita Souji, Morikubo Shotaro

Kazama Chikage, Tsuda Kenjiro

---END---

image from suruga-ya.... and this took a lot longer than I thought it would, mainly on account of Kazama. It's quite difficult to translate his parts unfortunately since they have significantly more words in one sentence.

[dandyshucks]

i was going to email my accordion teacher i had a few yrs ago to ask for advice on fixing my accordion but then remembered she is quite old so ... i went and looked her up just to make sure there were no obituaries or smth for her and uhm. instead i found out her brother is like. super famous. bro that guy taught me some piano stuff and i played music with him holy shit help ??? i sat on the same piano bench with him while he showed me some piano stuff oh my god. i think he also maybe taught me a bit of accordion bc he plays like a million instruments. he's won multiple awards and has travelled worldwide to perform ???? HELLO ???

and now im too scared and intimidated to email her hdsgjskdgjkl

[cerise-on-top]

Hank with an Eldritch Horror Reader

Here's another thing I wrote two years back! It was an interesting concept which I really liked, so I actually really enjoyed writing this request!

Hank J Wimbleton was a grunt of many things, but not one to be scared unless he had a good reason to be. There were many things in this world he did not understand, you were one of them. Upon meeting you, his first instinct would have been to either fight or run away - who could blame him, it was all he knew. No matter how many times you reassured him that the very last thing you wanted to do was to harm him, he’d draw his weapon, uncertain of whether or not he should believe your words.

Once you show no resistance towards him whatsoever and simply restrain him using your powers or other methods, that’s when, thrashing around as much as he could, he would start listening. You may or may not have seen a grunt up close, but this was your chance to finally examine one. As you scrutinise him from every possible angle Hank realises that you were simply curious about his being and finally lowers weapon.

Your voice would likely hurt his head and freeze the blood in his veins, so you might have to resort to telepathy or speak through a marionette, if you can find one. Though, once Hank’s interest in you has been piqued, he’d be more than happy to find you one. A lot of people in Nevada seem to be redundant in the first place. Regarding telepathy: You will be able to have a two-way conversation with Hank like that, but, for the most part, he doesn’t think in words. Still, he can do so, if needed.

If you’re on the rather small side, he will make an effort to pick you up, or hold you, and bring you back to base. Depending on whether you can float or not, this might be rather difficult, but he’ll try. If you’re large, however, then he will simply “tell” you to follow him. As an eldritch being you could likely either change your form or scare away anyone in your path in the first place, so he doesn’t particularly worry about anyone being stupid enough to attack you.

Spend time with him, he’ll get used to you more and more and, eventually, grow a bond with you. Proud, he’ll show you to Doc so he can figure out what you are, but do not be fooled. Hank wants to know what you are to some degree too. Once comfortable with you and certain you won’t harm him, he’ll start observing you, touching you to some degree. See how you react, how you feel, how you are.

Despite your conversations being, for the most part, one-sided, Hank will ask you directly what you are and if you’re some form of eldritch deity. Since you’re an amicable creature he can’t exactly wrap his head around, it’s worth a try.

Although he would like to do so to some degree, he won’t take you with him on missions. It’s his way of saying “I care a great deal about you, I don’t want you to die or worse even if you are capable of defending yourself.” If you really insist on aiding him, he will let you, begrudgingly. But beware that he will have your back. In fact, having you around will give him a greater reason to fight and improve his overall performance. Though, it will also be a major stress factor to him if something were to happen to you, so choose wisely.

[vacantgodling]

like i could get a therapist but like, how am i supposed to be a tortured artist if i'm not... yknow... tortured

[theragamuffininitiative]

🤭

[witherbythesword]

.

[stellacadente]

i mentioned my ex during lunch break at work today and it was literally the first time i ever acknowledged being gay when at work and it was both freeing and Really Fucking Scary

[shopcat]

i think perhaps saying dnis don't work is a bit silly because well they do as the function of them By and large "work" by showing what you will and won't tolerate or stand for as a person and what you will be posting about in that regard and anyone who willingly follows you will know this and if they didn't read it and would be upset by the criteria on it for whatever reason it's their own fault. it's like a built in contingency as well as a statement more so for others than a big sign saying "keep out racists!!!" that the racists will sadly walk away from your blog with. so. you can't reasonably say do not interact x y and z especially for systemic bigotry that anyone including ourselves are capable of enacting but you can reasonably say i don't agree with or tolerate this shit and will kill you if you are near me, which i think is better than people just assuming so personally, esp bc a lot of things AREN'T just like, something you can assume. mostly i think it's just quicker to say a 3 letter abbreviation than anything else.

[rotationalsymmetry]

I don’t know if this is what you are looking for exactly, but I enjoy writing for Postcards to Voters because they focus on non-presidential races. I am currently writing postcards against an anti-choice constitutional amendment proposition in Ohio.

I wish more people would do things like that, instead of making posts that guilt trip people for not being excited enough about voting for the Blue sexual harasser instead of the Red one.

Thank you for your highly sensible response.

I guess there's a thing where "just because someone takes 15 seconds to shoot their mouth off online about something that's annoying them doesn't mean they have the time/energy to do anything actually constructive, even more so for the people who took .5 seconds to hit reblog now on someone else's shooting their mouth of post" but I think it would be strictly better for people to spend that .5 second exerting a smidgen of self control and going "either it's actual GOTV or it's not, and if it's not I'm going to not reblog it."

And as the election is over a year away...I don't think "vote blue no matter who" is actually a Get Out The Vote action at this point in time. It's annoying enough when people do it in person but at least then there's occasionally some chance of having a reasonable discussion about it, but on social media between people who don't really know each other? Ha snowball's chance in hell.

(I haven't done Postcards to Voters the last couple years, but I did around 2019-2020 or so and they are fairly low barrier to entry as long as you have stamp money, super introvert friendly, you can be as creative or non-creative as you want to be, and as you can do it from your home on your own schedule pretty darn spoonie friendly as well. As well as covid-safe. And yes, there's a big focus on local/state campaigns, which warms my participatory democracy loving little heart.) (ughh sounds like an important campaign maybe I should pick this thing up again.)

[starpros-sunshine]

I used to be funny you know? I used to have good humour and now every time I try to crack a joke I just feel awkward like I could've gotten that one delivered so much better. Smitten with the curse of not being able to be serious while also being horrible at being silly. If you ask me I'd rather be smitten with other curses but such is life I suppose.

[forgotten-daydreamer]

doctors and nurses should be forced to work in retail before being allowed anywhere near patients

[kingdumkum]

I totally agree with your concept of love!! Too many people rely on the feeling of love instead of choosing to love someone, and they don't realize love takes work. You know?

tee my darlin, we're on the exact same page. I've been ruminating on this for a bit, trying to figure out the best way to say this without being Annoying, but it always comes back to this: love, the kind that lasts a lifetime, is a choice.

i know i got into it a bit here, but like. if you don't expect any other emotion to last forever, why is there a belief that love will? media is beautiful in the sense that we get to have some of the most amazing adventures, but it's also so damaging in how it twists the perception of what a healthy relationship looks like, or what real standards of love are. I could whip out a dozen examples, but they all boil down to how setting an unrealistic expectation for a very impressionable audience negatively influences their idea of what love, romantic or otherwise, is--particularly the young adults that haven't experienced love yet or don't have a healthy example to look up to. love, whether you're on the receiving or giving side, is not an excuse for bad behavior, and nor is it as eternal as media claims.

in my experience, as someone happily engaged and who's been spending a lot of time talking to Older Folks about what's made their marriages last (or end), the longest love is two-sided and it takes work. anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or has found someone willing to sacrifice everything in order to keep their partner happy.

love is not sacrifice, but it requires compromise; love is not pain, but it requires the memory of happiness in order to continue. love is born from an emotion, but it continues with the conscious decision to make it so. if you're not happy, sad, angry, anxious, etc. 100% of the time, how can you expect love, as an emotion, to exist 100% of the time?

don't get me wrong, love is certainly something you feel, and if you don't feel it, you can not force it--but if you're looking for the kind of love that lasts a lifetime, you've got to be willing to make it a choice, too.

(interestingly, and for another tangent, is how so many continuations/time skips focus on how the original love interests separated after Some Time and are either (1) finding a new love story or (2) rekindling their love... almost like Hollywood is admitting they care more about telling how two people FALL in love and less about what someone has to do in order to make it last a lifetime... but I digress).

[cheekblush]

just woke up from a horrible dream about my chemistry final tomorrow 😭