#but if she did/going off of her songs she dealt with it like an adult

[clarabowmp3]

I’m sorry I genuinely cannotttttt understand how some ppl bash joe even in a joking manner. Like the poor guy did nothing wrong (that we know of) but so many ppl are making such snide remarks by comparing him to Travis which is not only condescending but actually kind of mean! HELLO did we listen to the same reputation album??? You can’t praise Travis for letting Taylor bejeweled and then rip joe to shreds in the same breath when joe was the one there for her in a clearly difficult and trying time in her life

[beevean]

Idk I think people objections to vivziepop is overblown, she's hard to work with? So was Yuji Naka, She drew problematic art? So did Miura Kentaro and Rebecca Sugar, she said bad things in the past? So did Seth MacFarlane, she didn't groom any minors or assaulted someone like the Rick and Morty guy or the Red and Stimpy guy

Fun fact, a friend and I today tried to read the "controversies" page on Vivziepop.

And it's. Bad. As in, I refuse to believe anyone older than 20 wrote it.

Some of the claims have sources. Not all of them, though. Case in point, this gem:

Grooming Allegations On January 19th XXXX, Vivziepop has been accused of grooming a 14-year-old. (Needs citation)

Or this one

It is also worth noting that Vivzie supports Zone Tan, who is infamous for being a child predator who used a real child's voice for his child porn. It was also shown that Vivziepop directly interacted with Zone.

(wow, that sounds like a serious accusation! source?)

(also please it's not child porn, it's CSEM if it involves a real child)

Other parts come off as edit wars:

The drama died down after a couple days when a decent number current of SpindleHorse members, such as Sam Haft, Monica Franco, HorrorFreak, and more talked about their positive experiences, and some were convinced that the accusations were exaggerated or lies.

Erin Frost returned yet again in November. At this point, many are sick of her continued attempts at showing what she considers proof of her mistreatment, especially since she shamed others who won't stand with her, calling them "spineless" and sharing private messages without their consent. To a large portion of people, Erin Frost is not the innocent victim she claims to be and is attempting to twist the situation so that she comes out looking more sympathetic than she actually is

And then we get the absolute petty shit:

Improper Representation of Sexual Assault In one of the episodes of Hazbin Hotel, there have been some criticism about how sexual assault has been treated, as one of the chatacters, Husk, would tell Angel Dust that the latter will "get over it", even though Angel Dust has experiences with being sexually assaulted by Valentino, which is one of the things you should never say to a person who suffers from PTSD/Trauma.

Not even touching the yet again misconception that Loser Baby is a victim blaming song... This is a lie. Husk never once utters the words "get over it". This should be edited out immediately. Checking the source, it was badly paraphrased by a Tumblr post badly paraphrasing it in bad faith.

It was then revealed that Vivziepop also supported a Twitter user named "Raphielle", who is an NSFW artist that actively makes art of non-con/rape of Valentino and Angel (in which Valentino is the abuser, and Angel Dust as a victim of Val), with Raphielle even supporting said ship despite it being toxic and very wrong.

"and very wrong", how old are you?

Also I don't see the issue? Valentino abusing Angel is canon. And if Raphielle animated Poison, kudos to them for such a raw portrayal of abuse.

What makes it worse that Raph romanticizes it as well, despite mentioning that he has dealt with being repressed and being controlled, which is not a good excuse of drawing rape porn, in which Raph constantly fetishizes it.

Now this has just turned into a Twitter thread.

Supporting of Proshipping Like said before, while she has supported Raphielle, who supports non-con/rape ship of Valentino and Angel Dust, Vivziepop has also be revealed to have sexualized Morty from an adult animated TV show called "Rick and Morty" (in which Morty is 14-years-old, mind you). Vivziepop would even go as far as to ship Morty with Rick Sanchez (who is Morty's 70-year-old Adoptive grandfather).

Perish the thought.

The source of Vivzie following "bad people" is exactly what you would expect: the main accusation is that she follows porn artists with a fat fetish. Tagged as "csa" to boot. You people wouldn't have survived a day on DeviantART ffs.

And this is the cherry on top:

"Hey maybe this page should be written in a professional manner."

"HOW DARE YOU DEFEND A SHIT PERSON"

yeah you sure a person I can trust with handling delicate information!

Basically, I can't take this seriously. Again, I checked some sources, mainly the transmisandry ones, and sadly they look legit. The complaints about HH are however asinine to the point that the whole page loses credibility.

I won't get into this matter because I don't want to get involved into this year-long discourse more than necessary. I won't respond to anything related to Vivziepop again. But I wanted to vent because I hate when people are accused of being pedophiles/child molesters/abusers because they follow people who draw Sonic porn or they support people with a non-fluffy ship. Get over yourselves, and stick to the actually harmful stuff.

[neoruby-loves-ut-aus]

How Twyla! Sofia and Alexander or Nightmare Jr met

*time when Twyla was just a 6 year old princess*

Twyla: Mommy, I'm going out to play because the sky's awake!!!

The Queen or her mother (*insert name because not sure*: Okay dear! Please be careful!!!

*Twyla goes to a forest which is near to her castle and spots kids of her age playing*

Twyla: Hi!! I'm Twyla!! Can I play?

One of the kids: *thinks* Ewww, she's ugly!! She wants attention!! Ugh!

Another kid: Hey! If you want to play with us, we need some things to be off from you to make you look gorgeous.

Twyla: What I don't understand-

*they start physically bullying her*

Please!!! I didn't do anything!! Stop!!! *Screams*

Another kid: Haha, no one can hear your garbage voice!!

*meanwhile somewhere in the forest*

*an eight year old boy with brown and white hair, wearing a blue cap and black jacket with black trousers and a seagreen shirt and black sneakers hears her scream*

???: Someone is in danger!! I need to help that person!

*rushes to the place where Twyla was getting bullied*

HEY!!! LEAVE HER ALONE YOU MEANIES!!!

One of the kids: And who are you to interfere? Maybe you two lovebirds can join our beatings.

Another kid: BOSS!!! HE'S THE SON OF THE MOST DANGEROUS KING!! HE'S THE PRINCE OF NEGATIVITY!!

The leader: Pfft, it's a lie. He's nothing but a show off brat-

???: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? *Wipes Twyla's tears and bandages her wounds and covers her eyes with a cloth and covers her ears with headphones playing nursery rhymes, her favourite songs*

*turns into a huge goopy abomination which makes the bullies all shocked* (like how Noot Noot dealt with his own bullies after the apple incident)

*ina corrupted voice* SO YOU CHOSE NO MERCY =) ~

*The boy brutally kills them, like he killed one of them by tearing him into half with his tentacle, killed one of them by melting her to death using his scream of death (like Mortal Kombat Sindel's scream fatality), choked one of themto death using his tentacle, used his water powers to rip a face of one of them and later stabbed them using his ice powers (like Mortal Kombat Sub-Zero's Fatality).*

*uses water powers to clean all of the blood from his body and uses perfume to make Twyla not suspect anything and buries the corpses in the perfect way without wasting any time and tells his grandmother, the guardian of hell, in his mind to torture them when their spirits go to hell*

*opens the cloth* It's alright friend. They're gone now.

Twyla: Thank you!! You saved me!!

???: You're welcome! My name is Alexander, call me Alex for short. People also call me Nightmare Jr for I am the Prince of Negativity. Wanna be friends?

Twyla: Yes!! My name is Princess Twyla!! Nice to meet a nice person like you!

Alex: I'll take you home. *Holds her hand and teleports her to her palace*

Twyla: Wowie!! Your magic is incredible!! Thank you and hope to meet you soon!!

Alex: You're welcome and when we meet you again, I'll show you more of my magic!! Bye new friend!! *Teleports away*

*At home*

Twyla: Mommy Mommy!! *Explains everything but did not mention what Alex did to them because she did not know it and said that he scared them away*

Her mother: Awww, I'm glad that though being the son of the most evil King, Nightmare, he's still an angel on disguise like his mother. He saved my baby!!

*present time*

*Adult Alex and Adult Twyla telling about their childhood to Alex's baby triplet siblings*

Twyla: And that's how me and your big brother met. At least he did not traumatise me when he killed them. That was sweet of him.

Luna (A girl of Alex's baby triplet siblings) : When will you be our big sissy?

Amaris (A boy sibling of the triplets): My brother Esmeray, me and my sister Luna and our big sistas will be happy!!

Esmeray: Yeah!!

Alex: *blushes* Twyla dear, *whispers* hold my hand and let's get out of here.

Twyla: Soon dears. Soon. *Smiles*

Alex: Okay.... We gotta go and join our friend! *Teleports with her holding her hand*

Triplets: We can read your mind big bubba. You can't hide your thoughts from us hee hee!

Dreamlevel belongs to me and @sofiathehooman

People who need to see this:

@analexthatexists @shaylacousintale @deepestredloves @shorukarts

[sunstreakerapologist]

Now that this season of ES is complete I wanna go over what I liked and disliked in the show. I starting with what I disliked because I like to end on a positive note.

Everything under the read more because this will be longer :)

Okay dislikes:

The tone is wildly inconsistent. The Soundwave episode is the most glaring example of this to me. You have Megatron being confronted by someone he failed, interesting fight scenes, and then... A bunch of kids beating a different group of bad guys by singing the world's most annoying song. It felt like two episodes of different shows in the worst way possible.

On that note the show frequently feels like two different shows! It's either more mature (for a children's show) and dealing with ideas related to war, and identity, or it suddenly takes on a very young tone. The plots about the Terrans learning VS plots about GHOST and such do not have any synergy and I felt like I was bouncing between two shows about different things.

The animation can be... Rough. Mo looks different than every other human and it's incredibly noticeable, and in some scenes the animation is just lacking any polish. It's very noticeable. Hopefully this is a budget issue that can be resolved for season 2.

A lot of these characters talk like they're trying to win at therapy.

Alex and Dr Meridian's connection was a letdown. You have the moment of recognition and then it's just... Oh yeah we were coworkers.

A number of things were left as loose ends. Sure, they may be resolved in season 2 but the show didn't have a guaranteed season 2 at the time of production.

A lot of stuff that could have been interesting just happens off screen. Shockwave apparently was betrayed by Croft. We don't even get to see them interact at all. For a kid that's confusing, as an adult it's annoying.

What I did like

It's really nice to see a show with a unique premise regarding transformers, I like the idea that they're disconnected from Cybertron, that Megatron regrets his past but not the entirety of it, everything going on with the Terrans.

The character designs are great. I'm a huge fan of Grimlock, Soundwave, Jawbreaker, Nightshade, all of them. Very fun.

The show manages to balance a large cast fairly well! Every Terran got a little moment or episode focused on them that helped flesh them out.

The tension consistently rose. The stakes got higher as the show progressed but there were no massive out of nowhere jumps that made it all seem out of place.

I enjoyed Dr Meridian and Croft as villains. They both had something different going on, and the way they would work together and betray each other added to the show a lot.

I like how the show dealt with the trauma that comes from not having control over yourself. It really hit home for me.

The fact that Megatron's redemption began with Dot is fantastic. I think she's a great character and I would love to see more focused on her going forward, and more of their friendship.

In contrast to one of my complaints, there's a lot about the animation that I love in this show. The use of more 2D animation for things like smoke and flames looks wonderful, and adds a great level of visual interest.

This show is very good at making characters who are nice to care about. Even Hashtag, who I initially found very annoying, I grew to love.

Overall I enjoyed the show more than I disliked it and will probably keep watching, but I really hope they improve, especially in regards to consistent tone.

[kulekrizpy]

fixed stranger things season 4 finale

there was actually a lot i liked about this season! there was also i did NOT like

-russia plot should've been 3 eps at the maximum. come up with something for the adults to do after that

-hopper reunion should've been middle of the season. it was all build-up and so little payoff. i propose he and joyce land back in the states and learn el was abducted and the boys are missing. maybe murray figures out a way to track them. then joyce and hopper go to save their fucking daughter!! perhaps they are a day or so behind the boys, so they still get their little journey. or maybe they land somewhere else and converge on el's location

-after that, one, MAYBE TWO, eps before the NINA plot is resolved

-el and hopper deserved to be a family on screen. their relationship is important. and now even more so. they both understand what it's like to be imprisoned and tortured... they thought they wouldn't see each other again. why do the duffer brothers do this to me

-joyce and hopper could've gone on a date, had a stakeout that sort of counted as a date, something

-too much papa. mf should've been dead ages ago

-i think el deserved to kill him

-just wanted the whole group to be able to coordinate. and the adults to BE THERE AT ALL.

-nancy and jonathon should've been able to meet much earlier in the season to give them time to actually interact in the awkward state of their relationship. to talk...... this goes for a lot of characters. we stick thru the show for the characters, let us see them together!!

this ended up way long... more under the cut

-how do the parents of the rest of the kids still not know what's going on?? they should have some hint

-also erica snitching to the cops ?! cmon girl 😭

-chrissy and eddie were both acted so well. the duffers keep creating these great characters and wasting their potential 😭

-eddie cutting the rope and moving the mattress :| bad decision. i guess it was to buy more time but augh. yknow, if they'd had an adult with them..... (also still do not understand how the rope works. wonder if it was a reference to Rope Trick in D&D)

-any of the young adults walking away from each other in the upside down was a dumb move. i could barely concentrate on the contrived romantic drama bc i kept thinking "robin HAS to have stepped on a tentacle by now"

-when whatshisface was yelling about how chrissy wouldn't buy drugs, that she wasn't going thru anything bc she never talked about it, lucas should've had lines relating to his experience with max. that people isolate themselves and feel like they can't talk to the ones they care about. even if it didn't calm whathisface down, i think it would've been a good and true attempt, and it would've tied into the themes of the season

-when lucas punched out that hateful prick and was free, LUCAS' VOICE SHOULD'VE PULLED MAX OUT. if her favorite song works, why not a favorite voice?! he and el pulling her out together would've been so amazing...

-for that matter the decision to take off her headphones at all sucked

-in my opinion max's fate was far too brutal. jesus christ. she didn't deserve that. one broken arm would've been traumatizing enough. if it's for a plot in the future, they still could've made her blind since the process had already started. and i'm scared she is paralyzed. like, just. what the fuck man. hasn't she dealt with enough?!

-not to mention lucas and el watching that... :( i was stricken over that scene. too many tortured kids this season

-someone else could've died to complete the portal. not that i wanted more brenner, but what if they had utilized his character that way? maybe he comes after el (he sees her as his project, his life's work... her escaping while he still lived wouldn't be uncontested). maybe el actually kills him in place of vecna killing max, and the portal is opened anyway. then you could've had a vecna invasion as the finale

-this way you can still have el feel guilty and give her more development (max could be somewhat hurt, but add in killing brenner and completing vecna's portal and vecna has some great manipulation material for next season. "you're just like me eleven, you hurt the ones who hurt you and helped me complete my portal...")

-pacing was terrible. should've put the volunteer scene with robin and the cute girl in the beginning of the season, or at least before the climax. they left so many subplots going so long they had to resolve them all at the end, so it felt both packed in and much too long

-every scene was too long. it's like they were given all this time, and rather than make good use of it, they just stretched out the original hour-long plots

-gonna have an negative pavlov response to joyce wearing a hat now. i cannot explain how aggravating the russia plot was. every episode i thought "it MUST be over by now!" and then THEY DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE RUSSIA UNTIL AFTER THE CLIMAX OF THE SEASON. if it was due to a scheduling conflict they really should've figured something else out

-this show is about mommy issues. lean into it

-GIVE WILL AND MAX POWERSSSSS

-if there is not a flamethrower per person next season what is anyone even doing

[capn-queer]

Actually did some art for once, so. Woo! It's been a while, kinda been just idling trying to figure out how to make good 3d models, but I decided that like. Yeah I should just try making some 2d stuff because it's been a while. And I did. And I enjoyed it.

There's two, a Warframe character and a D&D character, don't know if I should be splitting this up into two posts but like. There's not really a tutorial or anything for using Tumblr as far as I'm aware and it seems unlikely many people will see this anyway so even if it's a bit bothersome, it shouldn't be Too bothersome.

Anyways, first one, this is Damhnait, named after the singer for Sleeping in the Cold Below. They're my Tenno OC because Warframe has been taking up my time in Destiny's stead now that the sunk cost fallacy's not holding me down. They're a bit of a bigger kid compared to a lot of the others on the Zariman, and because of that they felt responsible when everything went to shit, and tried to keep at least their little group together, which they managed pretty well, eventually ending up starting a clan and building a dojo with their friends.

Fast forwards a bit after first waking up, they're... not doing so hot as a faceless super soldier still, but they're not doing terribly, more just strangely empty as they go about their life up until the point the Second Dream happens.

They aren't the one who makes the discovery but to be fair it doesn't matter that much when you find out everything you thought you knew about yourself was built up on a lie, that lie being the idea that you and the people you are ordering to fight are adults and not a bunch of literal child soldiers.

Obviously, they are not exactly Okay after that little revelation and have not Transferred back into any of their Warframes even Once after recovering their real body, instead being carried around like in the Second Dream most of the time, also not being the most physically healthy just in general and due to that being pretty much wheelchair bound. I mean. If that wheelchair was a humanoid-killing machine capable of magnetizing people's bones.

Anyways, I tried to base them off their look in game a decent amount but obviously it's not perfect, their scars especially bother me but I haven't figured out texture for any of my other drawings and I'm certainly not stopping now.

And now onto something relatively more lighthearted, Cosgrove, named after Matt Cosgrove who plays on the TTRPG channel the Third Wheel and also made a bunch of character songs for the PCs and NPCs. He's one of my current player characters, a Wild Magic Sorcerer who had a very normal homelife with parents who love him and a dog and went to Magic Highschool and Magic College just like anyone else, eventually graduating with an ethics degree and becoming a workplace health and safety inspector for the Nine Shrines Merchant's Guild with a serious disposition and a desire to help others.

Only... well, this is a D&D character, so obviously there's problems. Not from what you might think though, this man's as straight-laced and surprisingly average as they come, with a loving family, a decent social life, a stable job, a home to come back to, etc. The only real issue is something he's dealt with his entire life, his magic, something wild and uncontrollable that he's grown to resent over the years, which is what even lead to most of his decisions, to his need for control over himself and deeply unhealthy level of responsibility for others even when reasonably he should be looking out for himself.

He joined the party, not because of his own goals or motivations, but because his best friend, my previous character Indrina Morea, ended up getting seriously messed up in the first fight she was in, not enough to kill her but enough for her to realize that she was not enough for the party as it stood then and there, and for her to make the decision to ask for help, going to the most capable person she knew, who she also knew was a strong magic user even if he actively avoided using any magic.

He's got a deeply unhealthy mindset for an adventurer obviously, adventurers are so deeply varied but they almost all Want things, have their own wants and desires, don't hesitate in dangerous situations and act on their instincts. Cosgrove though... he freezes up, he refuses to use magic unless given proper authorization by either the leader of the party or the highest rank ally available. He uses a gun in most of his fights and doesn't even Have a damaging spell.

He's the weakest link in the party, and the rest of the party doesn't Know it yet, even to him, while it's obvious he isn't exactly suited he doesn't know the extent of it, and it's going to be made Very Clear through various fights, getting singled out and having his weaknesses taken advantage of, and through it all he'll either sink on his own or the other party members will recognize what's going on and push him to start swimming. It's all a matter of whether they'll see the dangers and flaws of his current mindset before it's too late.

As you can tell by... well, all of that, I have a lot more to say about Cosgrove than I do about Damhnait, which makes sense because he's a character that's actively doing stuff and not just in my head while leveling up random items. As for his design, it's pretty simple and formal. I wanted to really hammer home how out of his depth he is here by making him... well, an office worker.

He doesn't look like some hero or even particularly fantastical, he's just a guy, he Wants to be just a guy, he's rejecting himself to be that and he's covered it up so well that if the rest of the party hadn't actively seen him using magic in combat they wouldn't even know. I also largely took inspiration from, well, two Jujutsu Kaisen characters, Nanami and a guy from the manga who I'm not gonna spoil in case any of my friends who wants to watch/read the series read this.

Anyways, that's the two of them. Who knows, maybe I'll post more within a semi-reasonable time-frame if I finish up more pics soon. I have been thinking about drawing my other active and soon to be active D&D characters, and maybe when I get more comfortable with art again I can start doing more complex things than just headshots, all just kinda depends.

At least I'm not working with MS Paint now.

[bergeronprocess]

My 2023 In Anime

Ah, 2023. What a year! According to my Anime Planet custom 2023 list, I watched 20 anime this year. A couple of them I haven’t finished yet and a couple of them are DNF. As the year dwindles down to its final days, I’m gonna take a look back at what anime I watched in 2023. Beware of spoilery discussion for all of the tagged shows.

Sorted by season and then in the order they appear on my list.

Winter 2023

Nijiyon Animation: Nijigasaki is my favorite flavor of Love Live (it’s the first one I watched, I like the characters a lot, the songs are great and there’s literally a girl also named Emma in the cast) and so I will never say no to more Niji. Cute fun bite-sized episodes. There was even a touching farewell to Tomori Kusunoki as Setsuna. I just saw that they’re going to do a second season, so I’m looking forward to that.

The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague: Holy crap, this show was a pretty little nothingburger. Literally NOTHING happened aside from the characters becoming friends. The two leads didn’t even kiss?!?! I wanted to see how they might handle that - the idea of people who are imbued with yokai powers is a neat one, but oof. This was unsatisfying.

UniteUp!: My dark horse favorite of the season, a bishonen idol show that dealt with some of the more realistic/uglier aspects of fame and the idol industry specifically. There were some production delays (that’s the story of 2023 across the industry, isn't it?) but I actually really enjoyed how they handled those - they showed these neat behind the scenes episodes with the voice actors. I love behind the scenes. The characters have a lot of heart, the songs were really good and the dancing looked excellent too. I think this is getting a second season too? If so, I’m thrilled to spend more time in this world.

Handyman Saitou in Another World: I actually watched an isekai! Holy shit! But it wasn’t one of those lazy paint-by-numbers isekai shows that are just a dime a dozen. I like how it showed Saitou using his skills (undervalued in our world) to get stuff done in the high fantasy world he found himself in after a Truck-kun situation. There WAS a bit too much fanservice for my liking - I’m a sports fan, so I’m used to that “oof, as a cis woman I am NOT the target demo here” feeling lol, but still - and I feel like they did a few too many “he’s dead! But not really because magic!” fake-outs. But hey! Ai Fairouz was in the cast here! I like her!

Buddy Daddies: OHHH did I enjoy this one. Great music, I love Kazuki and Rei, you could tell there was someone on the staff who is a gearhead based on how they portrayed cars, Miri is great, lol at how they overcome bureaucracy crime-style…Tumblr loved this one and with good reason. Also I definitely ship those two guys lol. The one downside is I feel like they kinda fridged Kazuki’s wife and Miri’s mom. They could’ve done a bit better by their adult female characters. I do still get the opening song stuck in my head now and again, though.

Soaring Sky/Hirogaru Sky Precure: Folks, this is the year I got Precurepilled. I tried Delicious Party last year but bounced off of it after episode 1 - it just didn’t hit for me somehow - but this one GOT ME! This is still ongoing and will be through the end of January (50 episodes y’all!), so I can’t speak with finality about it, but so far so good. The first boy Cure! The first adult Cure! She drives a Hummer for some reason lol! I think Mashiro is my favorite! It’s been so much fun to theorize about the story (I was SO wrong about Yoyo being Sora’s hero from her childhood, ha…) and watch it unfold. I do think they waited a bit too long to bring in the Kaiserin storyline, but hey, we’ll get a few more episodes to wrap everything up, right? As for Wonderful Precure, I don’t know lol the concept isn’t getting me hyped up, but I will at least watch episode 1 and go from there.

Spring 2023

Kira Kira Precure A La Mode: Still the only Precure season I’ve completed to date lol. This one was so much fun. I love sweets and baking, so I had great fun here, sometimes even shouting at the TV to try to help Ichika with her doomed bakes when she inevitably forgot baking powder or whatever. When I realized that Ciel had literally been in the opening credits since episode 1, that blew my mind lol. I DO wish they would’ve just let Julio become the first boy Cure, but hey, he walked so Cure Wing could fly. Himari is baby and Akira/Yukari is Haruka/Michiru for the 2010s. Aoi’s band made some good music. The very last scene was very sweet. Both ending songs are total earworms. Good stuff.

Skip and Loafer: This show is SO FREAKING CUTE. I just love these goofballs. I love how Nao-chan is able to just be herself and is not subjected to transphobia all the time. Mitsumi is adorable and also extremely relatable. I liked this one so much that I’ve started to read the manga, picking up where the anime left off. (2023 is also the year that Atlanta got a Kinokuniya location, which is very exciting for me, though maybe less so for my credit card lmao.) Season 2 pls? I would love to spend more time here.

Gundam The Witch from Mercury Season 2: Damn, this show needed at least one more season. Preferably two more. I was fully expecting 50 episodes like what Gundam Wing got lol. It needed more time to breathe, to show us more about the other characters (Lilique my beloved!) and to flesh out the big story. But alas, this is not a perfect world, and what we got was still pretty damn good, and also Sulemio married. That’s my interpretation. That's everyone's interpretation, isn't it?

Star Twinkle Precure: I’m still working on this one, but I FREAKING LOVE IT. The day-glo 80s aesthetic is right up my damn alley, I adore the transformation sequences, we get dark-skinned biracial representation with Cure Soleil, I enjoy reading the horoscopes at the end of each episode (my Japanese is at about a preschool level, so it’s great that everything has furigana lol), there’s space stuff AAAAAND this season has my very favorite Precure song ever. One of the only two so far to be in a minor key, folks, it’s PaPePiPu Romantic time.

I now have a new goal: sing this bad boy at karaoke someday. Pew pew! Pew pew pew!

Summer 2023

Yohane the Parhelion: I enjoyed Love Live Sunshine a lot, but phew, this didn’t do it for me. I feel like it would’ve been better as a 3 or 4 episode OVA (ONA these days I guess), but just didn’t have enough story for a full 13 episode season. My mom is fond of saying “just okay”...like, it wasn’t amazing, but it wasn’t awful either. Yohane the Parhelion is just okay. Please just watch Sunshine instead if you want to be introduced to these characters. Sunshine is so much better.

Zom 100: I watched the first episode of this and then didn’t bother with the rest. DNF. Sorry to hear about the production troubles - that’s especially ironic for this show.

Fall 2023

MF Ghost: The other DNF for me. Watched 3 episodes, heard they were about to introduce a character who is obsessed with 17-year-old girls, noped the hell outta there. Wasn’t impressed with the 3 episodes either. I love Initial D - we named our cat Hachi because she’s black and white just like the Hachiroku - but MF Ghost just had no heart or soul. The Toyota 86 was lovingly rendered but I hated the ugly black motion lines they added when it was moving. The race they showed was dreadfully boring, the worldbuilding felt extremely unrealistic and oooh did I HATE that “outfit” they put our underage race queen in, if you can even call that an outfit.

Overtake: Of the two car racing shows this season, Overtake absolutely wins. It looks great, it introduces F4 racing to the audience very well (there’s some show, there’s some tell, a good blend) and the characters have more heart in their pinky fingernails than the entire cast of MF Ghost combined. There’s a very real and affecting subplot about PTSD, realistic discussion of just how much racing costs for an amateur team and plenty of men being unafraid to feel their feelings and cry it out. Overtake is definitely on the top of the podium. It hasn’t gotten anywhere near the love it deserves - ANN didn’t do weekly reviews of it and Anime Feminist was hyperfocused on the lack of female characters (valid! But not a dealbreaker to me!) - so I hope that people discover it later.

Shy: Thank goodness this is getting a season 2 because we spent literally a quarter of the season focused on the Pepesha and her mother subplot. That could’ve been tightened up a bit - ANN’s review mentions how Amarariruku’s villain speeches tend to be very circular, which is exactly how I felt seeing Lenya explain herself for what felt like the 50th time over - and I was genuinely looking at the episode count like “uhh??!?” before the season 2 news came out. So other than that part being a bit too drawn out, though, this is a very interesting show with a cool concept (Teru experiences Personal Growth! We are so proud of her!) and I’m interested in seeing where it goes from here. Will we meet the USA’s hero next season? I kinda want to see who that might be.

My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer: Ai Fairouz is in the cast of this one too, so maybe she’s just what needs to be present for me to watch an isekai/high fantasy show? I did enjoy this one, even though the action scenes were a little bit lacking, perhaps above the skill level of the animators. They did do lovely watercolor-like scenery shots, though. The characters are charming (Belgrieve, total DILF, also giving us disability representation) and the opening song is a bop. They did leave the door open for a season 2 - for example, the question of Ange’s parentage was never answered, although it is VERY heavily implied that she is also a demon. I mean, the little demon kid Belgrieve takes in at the end literally looks exactly like her, for crying out loud.

Spy x Family Season 2: Haven’t finished this one yet - I want to watch it with my husband because he also likes it and we’ve just had a lot of stuff going on! We have watched 4 episodes, which means we’ve watched a bunch of one-off side stories basically lol. He even remarked at some point that the episodes felt weird. I was like “Well, because they’re only side stories!” From what I have read, it sounds like things are about to pick up plot-wise, so we gotta just make some time to catch up soon lol. 

Power of Hope/Kibou no Chikara Otona Precure 23: I have not seen ANY of the Precure series that have characters appearing here, so I came in fresh. This was enjoyable! I was originally bummed that we didn’t get to see them transform as adults, but the age reversion to transform was done for big story reasons and made perfect sense in that context. The episode that showed how the town was devastated by firebombing in World War II was deeply affecting - war is hell, no wonder Bell was changed by it - and it was great to see Cure Black and Cure White turn up. It reminded me of all the companions coming together at the end of Doctor Who season 4. Total fan catnip, I love it. I have not seen Mahotsukai Precure either, so I’ll be going into their sequel fresh too. (Is that what was being teased at the very very end of episode 12? Yeah probably lol)

16bit Sensation Another Layer: My winner for best show of this season. As you may have gathered from my mention of Doctor Who just now, I like time travel stories, so “Listen, Konoha Akisato has come unstuck in time” appealed to me right away. This show also genuinely taught me things about computer game development. I have a deepened respect for PC-98 game art (I follow such accounts on here now lol), which would surely make Mamoru smile. Plus, I like how it has a core message of “You can be a woman who works on erotic video games and that is not weird or perverted. Follow your dreams!” Toya does, after all - I would have loved to see her team up with Konoha and it sucks that she was being manipulated by the evil company. The show did take a turn for the Matrix-y in the fourth quarter, and I do feel episode 13 was a bit rushed (Konoha opens Comic Party and then is just immediately back in 2023? She and Mamoru explain how they told everyone about being time travelers instead of us getting to see that reaction?), but dammit, I teared up at the very end anyway. What a show!

Magic User’s Club OVA: I remember renting videotapes of this from Blockbuster way back in the day, but I didn’t remember much about the show itself, so I decided to watch it again after seeing this AnimeBackWhen video about it. It’s so fun and charming! And Ikuko Itou designed the characters and Junichi Satou is the director - a bit of a Sailor Moon reunion lol. (Fun fact I learned just now is Chiaki J. Konaka did the screenplay. This is very very different from his work on Serial Experiments Lain.) I’m not done with it yet. The opening song is a big ole bop!

2024 goals:

Finish Star Twinkle Precure

Watch Gunbuster (another "I rented it from Blockbuster during the Clinton administration" story - I bought Discotek's new Blu-Ray of it, just haven't cracked it open yet lol)

Continue to enjoy seasonal anime!

[scott-mccall-the-hot-girl]

my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!

( as a new teen wolf stan )

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the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!

Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.

Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)

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okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies

Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim

Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.

Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)

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Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!

Artificial Love - songbvrd

Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.

Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)

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so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!

The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR

Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”

Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.

Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)

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me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*

Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape

Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”

Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”

Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.

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okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical

Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.

(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)

Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )

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so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.

(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite

Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.

Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.

Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )

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okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!

two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!

for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!

whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )

go check out:

eneiryu

as well as fallingforboys

here are some of my favorite fics by them ~

darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys

even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys

memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys

skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys

i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys

whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys

between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu

cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu

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okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore

my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene

it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…

Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach

Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.

Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.

Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )

[sincerelyella]

Crossroads Part 2 - Unbothered

Book: The Royal Romance (AU)

Song inspiration: Unbothered by Tori Kelly

Pairings: past Leo x OC (Ella); Liam x OC

Summary: A now sour relationship pushes Ella to take a job in a small Mediterranean country. What’s in store for her there?

Catch up here

A/N: Participating in @wackydrabbles this week, prompt will be in bold.

Thank you for talking me through this @ofpixelsandscribbles - it helps to talk things over with someone. Lis and @sfb123​ you are the bomb diggity for prereading, love you guys!

Warnings: Adult language; tw: infidelities

Words: 1985

Smelling roses all the time, Can't mess with my peace of mind

Used to be so blue but I'm unbothered, babe

The weeks went on to become months and Ella began to feel more at home in Cordonia. She was at peace with her past with Leo, her job kept her busy, as did Liam. When she first arrived, Ella’s contract required her to work six days a week with one day off. She was working the night shift at the time, and it was mentally exhausting in the critical care unit. Ella would clock out every morning, go home to shower, and then take a walk in the park to unwind. The rest, as people would say, is history because that is where she met Liam, looking lost in thought.

Liam knew about Ella’s past hurts, why she felt like she needed to have her guard up and why she had trust issues. He had his past hurts and his most recent one was Riley Brooks. Riley was invited to Liam’s social season about a year ago by Maxwell Beaumont after they spent a nice night together in New York City. Riley seemed like the type of woman that liked Liam for Liam, not for his title, money, or possessions. He was so wrong; everyone was so wrong. It seemed as though as soon as Riley found out about Liam being royalty, she latched onto him and wouldn’t let go. She was determined to marry him and be part of his world, playing the part of loving suitor and soon-to-be Queen. It was an act, and it was Drake who found out about Riley’s extra-curricular activities in Applewood when he stumbled upon her and Tariq in her bedroom that night. Drake had feelings for Riley, everyone did, but he was the only one that confessed to Liam, feeling terrible and so guilty that it was making him ill. Thankfully, Liam understood, knowing that Riley was just loveable, and appreciated Drake’s honesty since he hadn’t acted on his feelings. It was the affair with Tariq that Liam had a hard time believing, but little did he know, Riley was dallying with Hana, Kiara, Tariq, and Leo.

After Liam chose Riley at the coronation ball and became engaged, she had a change of heart and confessed everything. Riley still wanted to be Queen of Cordonia, but she didn’t want to get married with so many secrets from her soon-to-be husband. Liam ended the engagement and sent Riley back to New York, and dealt with the fallout of the press, his father, the council, and his heart. Since then, he hadn’t even looked at another woman - until Ella.

So Liam knew all about needing time, and he wasn’t going to push Ella into anything she wasn’t ready for. His thoughts were interrupted by his ringing phone and he grinned when he saw her picture smiling at him. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Ella heard him smiling on the other end. “Why are you smiling?”

Liam cleared his throat and his voice turned serious. “How do you know I’m smiling?”

“I just know your smiling voice, sir, and that was it,” her playful tone gave Liam butterflies.

He couldn’t keep up the facade and he let out a chuckle. “Okay, you got me. I was smiling because I saw your picture on my phone when you called.”

“I hope you used a nice one,” she laughed. “Not one with me having spinach in my teeth or something.”

“How’d you know I liked vegetables in a woman’s teeth?” He feigned shock.

Ella laughed harder. “Stop,” she snorted. “I’m trying to eat my lunch.”

“What’re you eating? How’s work?”

“It’s good, one of the doctors bought us food, BBQ Haven from the capital and some boba from-”

“Boba Forever?” Liam’s eyes widened. He hadn’t had that since their opening a year ago before the social season started; now his mouth watered.

“Yep,” Ella playfully slurped her drink loudly so he could hear.

“Wow, you pretty girls are mean,” he pouted but grinned listening to her laugh over her end of the phone.

Medical alert, adult code blue, 3 South, room 344 …

Liam winced, pulled the phone away from his ear, and put her on speakerphone. “I know you have to go,” he said loudly over the voice. “I’ll talk to you later.”

He heard chairs scraping and a door slam. “Okay, bye!”

Liam hung up and put this forehead on the large wooden desk in front of him. He had to tell her that he wasn’t just Liam Rys, but he was King Liam Rys of Cordonia. He ran a country and was falling for a woman who had no idea who he was.

The door opened suddenly, and Liam jolted up like a jack-in-the-box, then scowled as Leo stepped inside. “Do you know what knocking is, Leo?”

“Sorry, I just wanted to know if I could head home today,” Leo helped himself to some scotch and sat across from his brother.

Liam sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair. “Yes, that’s fine. I’ll have the jet prepared,” he glanced up and saw the dark circles under Leo’s eyes. “You okay?”

He shook his head. “I stopped trying to call my ex,” his voice wavered and he cleared his throat. “I … I never heard back from her so …”

Liam nodded in satisfaction. “Good. You don’t treat people like that Leo, especially someone you claim to love.”

“I’m so sorry, fuck,” he tossed back the rest of his scotch and hissed as it went down. “I know we talked about this already. But this is probably my karma for what I did with” - he swallowed thickly and looked up at Liam, who had arched his brow - “I was so fucked up in the head, Li, I swear I-”

“What? You didn’t mean it?” He used his fingers as quotation marks. “Is that what you said to your ex too?”

Leo nodded. “I deserved that, but I swear, Liam, Riley was the one who initiated it and I had no fucking clue who she was!”

“Why should I believe you?” Liam stood from his desk and walked to the bar cart. He tossed the cap to the side and drank straight from the glass container. “You’ve always been this way, Leo, always. No consequences, no responsibilities, and you dumped them on me, fine. But you slept with the person I thought I had feelings for during my social season!”

The heels of his hands were pressed against his eyes. “I know, and you don’t have to believe me but … I am so sorry. And I love this girl, Li! I just couldn’t … keep it in my pants.”

The young king nodded. “You’re right, and neither could Riley.” He placed the cap back onto the scotch container and returned it neatly to the cart. “It’s fine, Leo, I forgive you. Riley wasn’t who I thought she was, and I finally met someone that I’m truly falling for. It’s not an act either, there are no red flags,” Liam chuckled as he sat back down onto his desk chair. “Just green ones.”

“That’s great, Li, I’m happy for you,” he gave his brother a small smile.

“Now to figure out how to tell her I’m a king,” Liam muttered as he dropped his head back.

“I’m sorry … you need to what now?”

He let out a sigh and straightened his neck out, rolling his shoulders back as he did so. “She doesn’t know about who I am yet. I want to tell her but I’ve been waiting for the right time.”

“Gotta rip the bandaid off, Li. Don’t fuck up like I did and not tell her shit.”

Liam nodded. “I know.”

The brothers talked for a little bit until Leo excused himself to pack before his flight back to Los Angeles that night. Liam sent a text to Ella about meeting her to talk to her about something, she agreed and sent him her address. He quickly stood and made his way to his quarters to get ready to see her.

*

An hour later

Ella paced in her apartment, chewing on her bottom lip as she did so. Talk? Talk about what? They talked on the phone an hour before. This is how I get dumped, again. How the fuck do you get dumped twice in a year?! You must suck, Ella. A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts and caused her to look up. Checking who it was first in the peephole, she saw blonde hair and smiled. She unlocked the door and swung it open.

“Ella,” he smiled and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

“Hi,” she leaned her head against the door and stared up at him.

Liam grinned. “May I come in please?”

“Oh,” her cheeks flushed as she stepped back to let Liam in. “Sorry,” locking the door behind him she turned and met his gaze. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Can we sit, El?”

He looks nervous. She nodded and gestured to the couch in the middle of the living room. “Did you want a drink?”

“I’m okay, thank you, but you can have one if you want …”

“I don’t want one.” But I may have one after you leave depending on what this is about.

Liam gave her a small smile as she sat next to him, waiting expectantly for him to start speaking. “I … I’m sorry for the mystery, but I didn’t want to hide anything from you. I want to be honest.”

Ella nodded, not trusting herself to speak. There’s another woman. There’s always another woman.

“My name is Liam” - he took a breath in and let it out - “But to the country, I am King Liam of Cordonia.”

Her lips were parted as she stared at him for a full minute, like she was waiting for more; then confusion crossed over her features. “Oh.”

“Oh?” Liam was starting to freak out with her lack of a reaction. “Oh. Is that good or bad?”

“Oh. Oh! It’s … uh,” Ella pursed her lips together. “I … I don’t know! I guess I didn’t expect … that. So … there’s not another woman?”

“What? No!” Liam took both of her hands in his, his thumbs brushing over her knuckles. “There hasn’t been anyone for me, for a year or so. I just wanted to tell you who I am because I don’t want to have any secrets. I … have feelings for you and I want to get to know you more.”

“More?” she whispered. “Like, more than I’ve already told you? I think that’s all there is to know about me, Liam.”

“You told me superficial things,” he smiled. “But I want to know how your eyes change color when you cry, or your sleepy face when you first wake up, or what you look like when you think at work … I want to know all those things. The things you don’t see.”

Ella bit her bottom lip hard to keep it from quivering. She didn’t think she was all that interesting, Leo never asked about her except what she did for a living. “Oh, okay,” she said.

“So, I just told you I’m a king, and you just said ‘oh.’ Can we go back to that part please?” They both chuckled. “I want to know what you think about it.”

“Right,” she rolled her bottom lip between her fingers in thought, then shrugged after a moment. “You’re still you, Liam, and I honestly don’t care if you’re a gardener or a trash collector. I like you for you. For Liam.”

He heaved a sigh of relief. “I am so glad to hear you say that you like me.”

Ella rolled her eyes. “That’s all you heard?”

“I heard all of it and it was music to my ears,” he pulled her to his chest and they both grinned.

A sudden knock sounded at the door and Ella pulled back to look up at Liam. “Are you expecting someone?” They said at the same time and laughed.

She shook her head, stood and walked towards the door, flinging it open. “Oh …”

“El? Who is it?” Liam stood from the couch and made his way to her.

“Leo …” she whispered.

[apocalypticgargoyle]

meet clay, he knows how you'll die.

intro filler chapter sorry

☾ pairing: dream x reader

☾ cw: interact at your own risk; contains graphic depictions of various character death and violence, suicide, blood, gore, and other triggering material. angst, language, guns, adult content, mentions of sex, slow burn friends to lovers

☾ wc: ~4100

Clay pulled the strap of his backpack further on his shoulder as he wove through the mindless sea of college students, eyes scanning the crowd for you, his best friend and the only person he could stand at the early hour. His knuckles flashed white as he sighed, taking the blunt impact of someone walking into him. He removed one of his headphones, mumbling a quick apology and swatting off the enthusiastically apologetic sophomore girl. All he could focus on was how much she bit her lip as she stammered on about not seeing him. It wasn’t alluring to him when most girls tried to sway his affections by looking at him with a puppy dog expression; all his mind drifted to was the dead skin across the body of her lower lip.

He finally nodded and reinstated his headphone, turning on his heel and heading for the front of the building. He received a few greetings from his peers as they crossed his path, people who shared past lectures with him and who had cheated off of him during exams. He wasn’t popular by any means, but he stayed out of people’s business and didn’t express his opinions loudly, so people tended to like him. The autumn breeze picked up as he stood in the dwellings of political science majors on the front lawn, acting as if they hadn’t seen one another in years when it had been only a few days. Clay absent-mindedly looked down at his cellphone, flipping through music as he leaned against the cool brick of the hall’s facade, waiting for you to find him.

Clay’s usual brooding manner was often off-putting to outsiders, with the careless-hollow look in his eyes giving bystanders the impression that he was nothing but a machiavellian. But you always saw the brightness in him; the side that you always experienced was specifically for you, and he made sure to keep it that way. You had wedged herself into his life and he was ever grateful for the love you had given him.

Despite the understood truth between the two of you that nothing was to be left unsaid, Clay still found himself keeping one of the most important aspects of his character unknown to you. His bloodcurdling secret was his own curse, something that would only be poison for another soul to know.

“What’s up, stud?” Somehow a flush of relief rippled through Clay’s body as his eyes locked to yours, pulling him from his isolated shell. Your hair looked brighter today against the dark hoodie peeking out from beneath an all too familiar bomber jacket. The wind fluffed your locks slightly as you continued towards him.

His eyebrows perked up as if to signal he was attempting to downplay his excited demeanor. “Stud, huh?” You smirked at his response, taking one of his headphones and putting it in your own ear, her face angled up to Clay as you waited to recognize the song, swaying slightly.

He chuckled as you shrunk away from him after muttering the song’s artist disappointedly and rolling your eyes, pulling on his hoodie pocket to follow you. As chaotic as his life often felt, he could always rely on the consistency of you. You usually attached yourself to one of his backpack straps, handles, his belt loop, or ended up under his arm, wedged against his side. It had gotten to the point that he felt naked if you weren’t within arm’s length of him, which was rare for the two of you. “So, I have something for you.” He smugly looked down at you, green eyes masking a hidden sparkle as you handed him a can of root beer, making him chuckle.

“Aren’t you sweet?” He popped the tab, taking a sip as you waved at a group of girls passing the two of you before slipping your hand against the crook of his elbow where his hoodie sleeves were pushed back.

“Actually, I was hoping it could be payment for later. I need to head over to the cemetery for some rubbings. History 270 has me getting into some weird shit, huh?” He laughed again at you, offering you the drink.

“And you need wheels?” You nodded and smiled politely at him, beaming at his words. “Yeah, alright. I have to sketch something for art anyway.” He thought about the week’s assignment and then about your little project he had dealt with the prior year. You had acted like the two of you hadn’t been to the cemetery on a regular basis, but he was grateful that you wanted him to come along with you.

You quietly jumped once. “You are my hero in faded denim, Clay. You know that, right?”

The two of you parted ways to your select destinations, one of Clay’s least favorite parts of the day, which was only solidified as he sunk into his seat and attempted to look equipped for the lecture. He spotted an unfamiliar kid shaking his knee in a distant section of the classroom. In any other circumstance, he wouldn’t have thought twice, but the sie of the class had given him the pleasantries of getting his own personal curse out of the way on the first day.

He carefully watched the boy speak smugly to a few of the more athletic kids in the room. One of the athletes pointed to the general direction Clay was sitting in and they all moved towards him. He, yet again, took out his headphones, knowing full well that they would be talking to him for the rest of the class.

“Oi, Shaman,” one of the main guys greeted Clay like they always did: a strange pattern of slapping and shaking his hand. He was thankful he had gotten all of their first impressions months prior and didn’t have to worry about getting their scenarios again, but he geared up to meet the new kid.

“How are you, Punz?” Clay took a deep breath as the new kid was gestured to and brought into the light.

“This is Mark. He’s a transfer from one of the commuter campuses. Mark, this is the mastermind you pay for notes.”

Clay sarcastically smiled at Punz. “My, you flatter me more than any girl. Nice to meet you, man.” As soon as he touched Mark’s hand, Clay’s mind flashed to a dingy-looking barn out in the middle of nowhere before an older man in his mid-thirties came into view with a lever-action rifle in his hand. In another flash, Clay was in front of the man, now kneeling with the gun in his mouth, red, blurry eyes looking straight through Clay. A pang of guilt broke open in Clay’s stomach as he pushed against the handguard lever and pulled it back into place, squeezing the trigger and sending Ckay back to the class. He let out a sigh and fought to plaster one of his less absent smiles.

“Speaking of our lovely girls, Mark here has a question about her.” Clay’s head tilted towards Mark, not exactly squaring up to him, but sending him an amused look as if to warn him not to cross a line, knowing full-well this conversation would somehow involve you. “We all know that no guy would ever intrude on her without your blessing, but Mark sat near her on the bus before his first class and was thinking about asking her out.”

Clay bit back a laugh, feeling like the Vito Corleone. “Well, you know her, Punz, and you know she would be mortified if I told some guy to fuck off, so I would just ask her yourself?” Oh, how desperately Clay wanted to bash Mark for not even telling Clay himself and the fact that the boy before him was nowhere near your type, but Clay knew better than to burn bridges and he felt bad for the way Mark would meet his end.

Nobody, not even you, knew about Clay’s gift. In the going-on-five years of knowing you, he came breaths away from letting his secret slip but has always kept it hidden, hoping to bury it with him after being married to you for forty happy years.

The visions started around his fifth-grade year, beginning with vivid dreams of dying in the midst of the Civil War, feeling the warm gushing of blood leaving his system, and the stabbing pain of being shot multiple times beside a woman who oddly looked enough like you that he almost called out your name. He had lived what he presumed to be his death in the life before this one several times, each vision taking him a few clicks further.

Soon, he found himself catching glimpses of others’ deaths before they happened as soon as they touched him, but thankfully it was usually over with no time passing and he only endured the visions once for each person, fate having already sealed itself. The only person who seemed to mix him up was you.

It was love at first sight for him, but as soon as you touched his arm, bleak snapshots of a boating accident raced into his mind, only to have to re-experience the scenario a few months later with you stepping in front of a train. Even as a measly high school freshman, he promised himself that there was no way he was letting you die in the gruesome manners being predicted to you. He didn’t think changing fate was possible until he witnessed you in action. He hated seeing you so young in each of the glimpses, tearing him to shreds as he knew time and time again that there was no way he could change what was meant to be.

There were even times when he quietly promised you that he’d die by your side if he couldn’t stop it.

As his lecture let out, Clay found you tucked into a corner of the library, smiling to yourself silently as knew you had finally found what you were looking for in one of the massive books before you. There were many moments like this that Clay wished he could pause and remember for the rest of his life. He was proud that you were there for him even though you could have left instead of playing your own little game of library scavenger hunts.

Since knowing you, he had taken note of how you treated other boys, usually as first dates and never true pick-ups. You didn’t care if they called you the next day or not and he was sure you had never even been kissed before. Something about your guys’ relationship gave others the nod to leave it the fuck alone, and that your heart truly belonged to Clay; a responsibility he wished didn’t plague you with. Despite this, he couldn’t bring himself to be with you, only worried that what you had would be destroyed because he knew that as soon as he told you about his gift, you might leave.

You always brought a bag of marbles and a bouquet of flowers to the cemetery. You loved to find the tombstones that looked neglected or ones with older dates, knowing that the possibility of having family members who remembered the person was lower. The trees in the graveyard were reds and yellows with the changing season, leaves scattered over the grass, naturally piling in large masses. This was your favorite for how neglected it seemed to always be. You had a knack for making inanimate objects and lost souls feel loved; Clay often feeling like he was one of these disembodied figures.

Clay leaned his back against one of the massive trees a few paces from the tombstone you had picked, smiling as he watched you carry out her routine. He flipped to a clean page in his sketchbook as you sat cross-legged in front of the great stone resting place, pulling the long-dead flowers from the concrete gauntlet and replenishing a few flowers in their place while setting an equal number of marbles along the grass line of the stone. A daisy was tucked behind your ear as you ran her fingers against the worn chiseling of the dates, smiling slightly. He began to sketch you out. Your eyes drifted to him before the corners of your mouth curled up into a smirk and you returned to her previous position, straightening your shoulders. “Who is it?” He asked, blending a rough edge with the pads of his finger as you tilted your head at the script carvings.

“George McAfee. Born 1926. Died 1963.” The wind picked up, blowing your hair away from your face as you pulled your jacket closer around you. “What was happening in 1963?” You turned your head to him momentarily before looking back at the lucky man. “I mean besides Beatlemania and JFK’s assassination?”

Clay outstretched one of his legs, swallowing as he thought, his eyes fluttering from the page in front of him to you. “Well, Alcatraz was shut down, Studebaker stopped production, the USSR sent the first woman into space…” he trailed off, watching you as the gears began to spin in your head.

“Do you think he died in the Coliseum explosion?” You wet your lips and he couldn’t help but smile at you.

“Maybe he died in the USS Thresher sinking?” He was thankful that he could capture your thoughtful gaze in this picture.

“You’re smart, Dream. Have I ever told you that?” He chuckled at the sigh in your voice. He detailed the bomber jacket you were wearing---which you’d stolen from his closet god knows when---a bit as you placed a piece of paper over the engraving and rubbed a crayon against the stone, his name coming to life on the paper as you came to life on Clay’s. It didn’t matter why you two would be in the cemetery, you always had a type of bond with the dead, surprising Clay due to how bright you were and your power of holding onto so much compassion. He threw his sketchbook into his backpack and slug in over his shoulder, moving to help you up. You decided to give the rest of the flowers to George as Clay stood next to you, gazing down at his grave.

A high-pitched moan startled the two of you, snapping your heads to look over the hedges separating your section of graves and the one beside it. Clay’s eyes widened as they fell to a girl in all black with porcelain skin propped on top of one of the tombstones. You clasped your hand over his mouth pulling him onto the ground next to you as you peered through a hole in the bushes. His mind noticed your arms first. One of them was secured over his chest and the other wrapped around his shoulder from beneath his arm, holding onto him as he steadied himself in the weird crouching position. “Are you enjoying this?” He jeered, looking over his shoulder slightly as he heard you snicker. The girl began to ride the stone harder.

“How many times in your life are you going to see a girl humping a gravestone? Honestly, Clay, how many?” He shook his head as you both looked at the girl, giggling to yourselves. You dug her face into his shoulder trying to stifle the next laugh trying to rip through your body as the gothic girl moaned, letting out more labored breaths. Clay’s face contorted into a twisted look of disgust as the girl tugged on her own hair. “Oh, do you think that hurts?” You took the words out of his mouth, tightening your arms around him as he shrugged.

“I doubt it’s any rockier than sex with a human.” He bit his lip, a hollow sound interrupting him quietly laughing at his own joke as you thumped him in the chest. The girl moaned louder. “Alright, she’s climaxing. I’m uncomfortable now.” Clay stood and Willow popped up next to him, lacing your fingers with his, bringing color back to his cheeks as you slipped the remaining marbles into his pocket.

“Oh, hi!” In the midst of holding hands with you again and trying to slink back to his car, he hadn’t even realized that the moaning had stopped. The girl now stood near the two of you in what seemed to be a black slip. Clay found it hard to make direct eye contact with her. “Are you guys looking for someone?”

“We were, but we couldn’t find him so-” you began, gesturing for Clay’s car and pulling him next to you.

“Well, I can help. Who are you looking for?” A thousand sarcastically vulgar comments ran through Clay’shead but his eyes flickered from her face to the tombstone she was on previously.

“Uh, my grandpa. His name was Rupert Daniels,” Clay managed to choke out. Your nails dug into his arm while your hand squeezed his. The girl looked around at the surrounding stones.

“I don’t see him right now, but I can look?” You both shook your heads quickly and muttered various responses before finally slipping away from her and getting into his car. Neither of you said anything as you pulled off the gravel driveway until crossing the railroad tracks when Clay burst out laughing.

“Do you think she even knew who it was she was gettin’ it on with or did she just pick somewhere random?” Clay laughed harder at your stunned response. “I’m serious. Clay, what the fuck. How can someone even get off in a cemetery?”

“I don’t know, man. Would you hook up with someone in a cemetery?” Clay quipped, wiggling his eyebrows at you, causing you to laugh. You dug into his console, pulling out a bag of M&Ms you had stashed in there last week, popping one in your mouth.

“Only if it was you.”

He giggled. “Excuse me, what?”

“There are just some things you do with certain people, Dream. You know what I mean.”

“I don’t know if I should be flattered I’m the only one you would have sex with in a cemetery, or like, disgusted?” You laughed at his reaction.

Within ten minutes the sun had begun to set and Clay sang loudly with you to the song playing over the radio as Clay sped along one of the county roads near your apartment complex, not wanting the night to end. He loved these moments with you. You turned down the radio and threw your hair back into a ponytail. “So, what do you think of that new kid, Mark?” Something in Clay shifted, taking away the free feeling he had recently possessed next to you. He thought carefully.

He chewed his bottom lip. “Depends on what you think?”

“Well, he seems like a wannabe Punz. And he asked me out. Naturally, I said ‘yes’ because maybe he’s different?” Clay chuckled at your sarcasm, putting his car in park on the side of the street your flat was on and getting out with you. The radio still hummed in the air lowly. “He insisted on Friday, though.” Clay dramatically acted like you had stabbed him in the heart, even though it did hurt. Friday night was their night. It had been a running tradition for movie night every Friday since your freshman year and you had never canceled on Clay for a date. “I know, I know. But I figured that I’d tell him I had diarrhea when it hit eight o’clock and be over at your place with an extra pizza? Your roommate’s working right?” He chuckled with a nod, walking you up the first three steps to your place as you made it to the concrete landing. You turned to him. “And he said he was taking me somewhere fancy, so I’ll snag you some breadsticks.” He tilted his head at you as you winked at him.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Wanna be Punz might be fun. Maybe I’ll call up Minx and hang out with her?” He joked. Minx was a friend of yours that hung out with the two of you sometimes. He had never really liked her, but she was friends with you and thus he was always civil.

“You’re still my number one, babe.” You pushed him slightly as you climbed a few more steps, leaning on the railing as he waved to leave. “Hey, Dream?” He turned on his heel as you forced yourself to make eye contact. He stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets. “You could kiss me, you know? For science.” You smiled softly at him from where you were perched. He wet his lips as his heart hammered in his chest. He wanted to scale the steps and close the space between you, to knock you off your feet and show you just how much he was in love with you.

He hated himself. “A first kiss should have more magic in it than just for science. As a romantic, you should know first hand.” You smiled at the ground in front of you.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” The two of you seemed to shake off the serious moment as you stuck your tongue out at him and slipped inside your house as both giggled.

“I love you,” he murmured as you left, punching himself in the shoulder as he got back into his car.

Clay’s heartbeat pulsed in his ears, making him truly believe he was going to pass out. He had lost his gun at least a mile back. He was running mindlessly now, not knowing how long or where he was going. He trudged through the forest, hearing dogs barking and gunshots erupting around him, the ringing in his ears building with every step he forced himself to make. He wanted to rip open the front of his jacket to release the body heat drenching his collar, but he didn’t move other than propelling his body further and further away from the soldiers. You ran beside him, holding your skirt up while your hair danced around your shoulders like a great waterfall. As soon as his body felt like it might just give out, he would look at you and somehow find more of a drive to pull forward. His breaths were brittle and hoarse as he drew in borrowed oxygen. His lungs felt shallow like they were giving out on him.

You reached back, grasping his hand and pulling him into a sharp corner, hoping to lose the group. You both had managed to weave into the forest, but the dogs were somehow still picking up on your scent. The pair of you finally came upon a clearing and kneeled down out of sight, spotting a house in the middle of a glen. Bullets were streaming through the air. The forest was catching fire and cannons were echoing through the distant air. You squeezed his hand tightly, looking at him with terror in your eyes. He had gotten the two of you into this mess, but he was glad he was beside you.

He pulled you to your feet as the pair of you sprinted for a distant house. A sharp pain stabbed into Clay’s back, making him drop to the ground. How did he not hear the gun? You dropped to your feet, your eyes welling with tears, ripping at his jacket, but he pushed you off, telling you to leave quickly. He leaned forward, eyes locking on the soldiers in gray coming towards them, reloading their rifles. He groaned, pushing himself up, but only having the same stabbing sensation two more times in his chest. He heard you scream, but he couldn’t see you.

His hands were going numb as he touched where the bullets entered, feeling the warm and sticky crimson substance seep between his fingers. The soldiers reached you before you had made it to the house, pulling you to the ground next to him. You were crying heavily as you looked at him. Everything began to run quiet as you held onto him tightly. You were saying something to him, but he couldn’t hear you. He was only aware of his jacket soaking with blood. He coughed, wanting to tell you he loved you one last time, but you were tugged away from him, pressed to one of the men in gray. He raised a hand to you as you fought against the man. And then everything went dark.

Dream Tag List: (hopefully this works)

@karlkitten @pluto-dizzz @more-like-reyna @honk-izzie-was-taken @marrymetheonott @froggyy06 @ghoulandghost @savingpluto @marshmallow-babe @drunkpumpkincake @unstableye @tinyegg @behzzyboo @twist3dtinkerbell @sparkletash @shroomieissmall @clubfairy @camerondiaz48104 @victory-is-here @rat-poisin @alm334 @acidluvs @pachowpachowbucket @bbigbbrainn @cdizzlevalntyne @idiotinnit @generallysleepdeprived @sacvf @phsychopathetic @froggerrrr @robinslie @essencee @jemalovesmarvel @sbi-is-my-onlysanity @jenlouvre @victoria-a567 @miilliiie @bunnylotl @thegirlwhowritesawksh-t @carlyferrell @dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @nyxieahh @quivvyintheclouds @sarcasticmichelle @book-of-anarchy @millavalntyne @lightdreamy @baddiesforcorpse @sunnynapp @fantasy-innit @rat-poisin @wreny24 @deepestofwaters @exenestea @indecisivehusky @fallxnly @alm334 @skaratjung @punzcanrailme @sap-naps @denki-exe @angeltears18 @silvemistxe33 @andreamalik6 @kris-stuff @sun-fiower-seed @where-thesundoesntshine @dilfdream @esmegregory04 @itsparasocial @mlqcool @mcgoddess404 @rinatdawn @chaoscait @peppermintkisses @libbynotfound @speedrunningtherapy @lunxramour @aoonai @loraleiix @ghoulpixiie

[babyjamiebarnes]

Build-A-Bear

Part One

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Peter Parker (platonic), background MCU characters

Warnings: [chapter] language; [series] language, smut, violence

Summary: The only people who knew she was actually a Stark were her dad, her step-mom Pepper, and her “uncles” Happy and Rhodey. A promotion within Stark Industries takes her from an already-sought after position in the Weapons Anaylsis Unit straight to the Avengers as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist... which means her dad is her new boss. There’s only one rule at work: no fraternizing with coworkers. There’s one more rule at home: no dating any Avengers. So what is she supposed to do when a grumpy super soldier becomes not-so-grumpy around her? At 25, do her dad’s rules still apply? Or is her entire livelihood at risk?

Author’s Note: I’ve written a decent portion of this but know I won’t keep writing it or post it unless I hold myself accountable and get it out there in the first place 🙈 I haven’t written much for Marvel yet but I’ve read plenty and have written for other fandoms in the past (not to mention the writing degree on my wall lol). I’ll try to post every 2-3 days to keep this moving! And if you like it and want to, buy me a coffee!

No one knew Tony Stark had a daughter. No one but Tony Stark and his daughter. Well, and her step-mom Pepper. And her godfather Rhodey. And her uncle-not-uncle Happy. But no one in their everyday lives knew. She was given her mother’s maiden name and kept a secret, even when she turned 17 and moved to a small apartment near NYU’s campus (with Happy stationed right next door, of course) to start life as a truly normal adult, or as close to normal as an undercover Stark could be. When she graduated with her PhDs in robotics and electrical engineering at 25 — proving brains really do run in the family — she moved into her own apartment in Manhattan, funded by her father under the pseudonym “Michael Myers.” Subtlety was never his strong suit.

Fortunately for you, growing up without the Stark name let you live a relatively normal life. It also allowed you to apply for a position within Stark Industries without being ushered past any red tape because of who your father is. Outside of the financial advantage you had, you worked for your spot in a STEM career. You suffered through every man in your field belittling your work despite knowing less than you. You dealt with the constant interruptions and “well, actually” because of your gender. You powered through late nights and early mornings when your mind was flowing too smoothly to quit.

The last thing you wanted to do was have all that work disregarded because you shared a name with genius billionaire playboy philanthropist Tony Stark. So you filled out the application, sent in your resume and cover letter, and attached three letters of recommendation from your professors. You went through hours of interviews, background checks (conveniently redacting your father’s name), and polygraph tests until that offer letter showed up in your email. You even had to sign the Non-Disclosure Agreements that would bar you from discussing *anything* work-related with anyone outside of your department.

You spent your first year in the weapons analysis department, evaluating alien weaponry and determining how it worked and how to disable it. You had your fair share of mishaps, of course. Holes blasted into walls, fried robot dummies, even burnt animal carcasses. By the end of your first year, your supervisor sent a commendation and proposal for you for an undisclosed promotion. After Pepper Potts “thoroughly examined your resume, cover letter, and accomplishments during your tenure with Stark Industries,” as the letter read, you were awarded a position working on the Avengers’ weapons as a Weapons Enhancement Specialist. You’d never see a fight in-person, but you were assigned to work on advancements and post-battle repairs for everyone, from the Winter Soldier’s arm to the Falcon’s wings to Vision’s... everything. The only heroes you wouldn’t work on were Iron Man and War Machine (those were your dad’s territory) and Spider-Man.

On your first day in your new position, the one and only Pepper Potts showed you to your new lab on the 47th floor. It took all your willpower to look your step-mother in the eye and say, “Wow, Miss Potts. This is amazing. It’s such an honor to meet you,” with a straight face to convince any passerby that you had no outside affiliation with her. Even if her eyes stayed steady on you, you could see her mentally rolling them.

Once you were alone behind the doors of the elevator, conversation changed course.

“You’re going to be sharing a lab with someone else,” Pepper said.

“Sweet. As long as they’re competent, that’s fine by me,” you shrugged. Part of earning your degrees was learning to share a workspace with others, even those who bumbled and fumbled with no idea what they were doing. You’d had more hair singed by nearby explosions than you’d like to admit.

“He’s still in college so he’s not here as often as the others. Most of his work will be on Spider-Man’s gadgets and suit, but you can use him for any help you need.”

Walking past the familiar faces of Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho in their respective labs, Pepper ushered you into your lab, where you were met by your father and put on the same excited facade you did with Pepper.

“Oh my god, you’re Tony Stark! This is incredible! It’s such an honor to meet you, sir!”

He shook his head at you and reluctantly accepted your outstretched hand. Oh, the jokes you’d be making at family dinners.

“Yeah, anyway, this is your new lab, Miss [Y/L/N]. Make yourself at home. This lab rat over here is mister Parker. If you have any questions, he can at least bullshit an answer for you.”

The young man on the other side of the lab perked up at the sound of his name. He tugged the goggles off his face and set down his soldering rod to rush over to you.

“Hi. Hi, I’m Peter,” he said, reaching his hand out to you.

“I’m [Y/N]. It’s nice to meet you, lab partner.”

He looked to be a bit younger than you and at least relatively smart, if the MIT sweatshirt peeking out from under his lab coat said anything. If your dad gave him an internship like this, you knew you shouldn’t question it. He had to be a genius.

The kid just smiled at you, continuing to shake your hand past what most would deem socially acceptable.

“Okay, enough of that,” Tony said, pushing on your joined hands to separate you two. “Mister Parker might be in and out of the lab from time to time. He joins the Avengers on the occasional recon mission for immediate repairs but since he’s on break from classes, you’ll see him more often than not. Play nice.”

When he noticed you surreptitiously looking Peter up and down, he added, “Remember, no fraternizing with coworkers.” He pointed a finger directly at you before he spun and pointed to your fellow lab mate, realizing he should warn Peter too to save face.

“All the blueprints you need for the Tin Man’s arm are in the system. We’ll have you start on that and see what you can do about minimizing the sound that thing makes. Any other questions, give Pep a call.”

“Thank you, mister Stark. I really do appreciate everything,” you said genuinely.

“Yeah, well… don’t let me down,” he replied, patting you on the shoulder on his way out. Pepper followed close behind, leaving you alone with Peter Parker.

“So Peter,” you started, sliding onto the lab chair next to where he remained standing, “tell me about yourself.”

“Uh… what do you want to know?” he asked as he shoved his hands into his coat pockets.

“How old are you?” you asked immediately.

“I’m 21.”

Only four years younger than you. So you’d probably get along just fine.

“I assume you’re at MIT?” He nodded. “What are you studying?”

“Biomolecular and mechanical engineering.” He said it so casually, you’d think he was talking about the last song he heard on the radio.

“Damn,” you responded, eyes wide. “I thought robotics and electrical engineering was wild but fuck, that sounds like hell.”

He laughed and nodded, letting a bit of the tension in his shoulders fall. “Yeah, it’s not easy. But it’s worth it.”

He shot you a small smile before gesturing back at his project. “I should probably get back to work and let you get started.”

For the rest of the day, you familiarized yourself with the Winter Soldier’s arm to figure out how to… turn the volume down? You assumed it was the gears inside causing the noise, but part of you wanted to outfit an audio jack and speaker just to fuck with your dad.

You and Peter worked in relative silence, aside from the playlist he had quietly playing through the lab sound system. When lunch rolled around, however, you finally spoke up.

“Hey Peter,” you called, his eyes flicking from the chemical beakers in front of him up to you. “First of all, what are you doing?”

“Um, it’s Spider-Man’s web fluid. Just trying to find more durable combinations.”

“Interesting.” As much as you wanted to touch the stringy substance, you knew better than to fiddle with someone else’s lab work. “Okay so second thing, in my last position, I’d just order food and have it brought to my floor but now that I’m on an exclusive floor, what do you do for lunch?”

“Oh, there are a couple security guys who have clearance to come into this floor. They just can’t get into any rooms so you’d have to meet them at the elevator. But I usually find something in the kitchen down the hall.”

“Oh, sweet. Thanks!” you said as you made your way out the door. Before you could fully exit, you turned back to see if Peter wanted you to grab anything. Once he promised he’d take his own break ‘once I get this one thing figured out,’ you continued to make your way to the kitchen.

As you drew closer to the doorway, you could hear three voices speaking over each other. They didn’t sound angry, but they were definitely arguing. You opened the door anyway and almost immediately froze in your tracks. The Falcon stood with one hand on his own head and one on the Winter Soldier’s head while Captain America rolled his eyes before those same eyes landed on you, along with the rest of the room.

“Perfect,” Sam started. “Hey new girl, between the three of us,” he said, pointing to himself, the Soldier, and the Captain, “who has the best hair?”

“First of all, my name is [Y/N]. Second,” you continued, making your way past them to the fridge you hoped your dad kept stocked with goodies, “that’s an unfair question.”

You grabbed a soda and popped it open before turning back to the three men. “Your hair suits each of you. Cap wouldn’t look good with Winter Soldier hair and Falcon wouldn’t look good with Cap’s hair.” You took a few steps closer, leaning against the island counter between you and eyeing each of them. Your eyes settled on the Winter Soldier, unashamedly flitting across his face and admiring the sharpness of his features. “You,” pointing at him, “could probably pull off either of their looks, though.”

Bucky smirked at you, but his rosy cheeks gave away a hint of embarrassment at your compliment. Steve and Sam, on the other hand, weren’t taking it quite as gracefully.

“What?!” Sam shouted. “Okay, now I know you’re lying. I could pull off Cap’s hair for sure.”

“You know, I think shaggy hair would really suit me,” Cap said, only half sarcastically.

You giggled to yourself as the three of them started talking over each other again, all dead set on their own hair being the best of them and positive they could pull off the others’ looks. While they bickered, you searched the pantry until you found a snack to at least get you through the remainder of the day.

“Alright boys, it’s been fun but I have work to do,” you said as you walked past them again. “Actually, wait. Bucky — can I call you Bucky?” He nodded even though you continued anyway. “If you could stop by lab six today, I’d love to check out your arm in person. The digital renderings aren’t quite the same.”

“Uh, okay. Sure. I’ll find you,” he said quietly.

“Sweet, thanks!” And with that, you skedaddled back to your lab.

[voiceswithoutlips]

Calico - Chapter One

— pairing: Hybrid ot7 x Human Reader (Female) — genre: hybrid AU , fluff, angst, slow burn (like real slow), eventual smut — word count: 1.8K — Rating: M — warnings: trauma, mention of past abuse. 

Click for Tag List

— chapter summary: 

Y/N runs a animal shelter, Calico was built on a simple principle, to help those who were in need. What will Y/N do when her sanctuary is threatened by an unexpected hybrid?

— A/N: This is going to be a series, I’m just getting back to writing, so I’d really appreciate your input and feedback <3

Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 3.5 Ch. 4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6

“So do you like your new puppy?” I asked the little girl that was trying to hold a squirming golden retriever pup. She frantically nodded her head. How cute!

“Congratulations on the new addition to your family! We’ll send someone for an inspection soon but I don't see how there can be any problems,” I reassured the parents. They were proudly beaming at their daughter, I doubt they even heard what you said. 

“I’m going to name him Bubbles!” Sana squeaked excitedly as the family left with their new pet. I suppressed a giggle, I was a sucker for cuteness. 

Seeing one of our animals get adopted was the best feeling in the world. Running a shelter was not the easiest thing in the world, grumpy animals, grumpy humans and an abundance of body fluids to clean up but it was rewarding. Calico was a no-kill shelter, a privately owned animal shelter. The upside was that we didn’t have to rely on the government for funding, the downside was the paperwork. Every animal that came to the shelter had to be meticulously checked and catalogued. 

The legalities were another headache. Most animals that came to Calico were rescues. We worked with several animal rights organizations that collected evidence and built cases against the owners. Sometimes we got rescues that weren’t exactly legal so we had to get the evidence and build the case ourselves. That’s why Calico had Song Hwa, a badass lawyer. She was just five feet tall but she could stare down men twice her size. 

“One down, two to go,” Jason said as he plopped down on the couch in your office. He was the head veterinarian at Calico, overseeing the health of the animals. He was also my best friend. 

“We have three potential families visiting tomorrow. How’s Hector doing?” I asked as I stretched in your chair. 

“He’s good but I’m still against the name Hector. He looks more like a Raphael,” Jason said with a frown. Last week one of our animal handlers Shownu found a box near the shelter’s gate. There was a small turtle in it, the poor thing was injured. Jason had to amputate his left hind leg because it was infected. 

“I’m not naming him after a mutant turtle. He’s a one legged turtle from the sea, he’s a pirate and nothing you say will change my mind,” I had named him after Hector Barbosa from Pirates of the Carribean movies after I won the rock paper scissors tournament against Jason. 

“Dorks,” Hana scoffed from the corner. She was the one who dealt with the potential families, showing them around the shelter, doing background checks and whatnot. I was the one who sealed the deal and dealt with the paperwork. I was terrible at social niceties, somehow I always ended up saying the wrong thing and had the worst timing in the history of humanity. 

Before Jason and I could retaliate Moonji burst through the door. “He’s back, Yonu is here,” he was breathless. He must’ve ran here all the way from the gates. Moonji was the other animal handler, he was a retired botanist with a wife and two daughters. 

We all collectively sighed. Yonu was a proud member of Animal Liberation Front, an extremist group or as the government would like to call them “animal rights terrorists”. Once in a blue moon Yonu would drop by without a warning to drop off rescued lab animals, he had a thing against scientists. The problem was that they were illegally acquired so we had to lie on the paperwork. Every time Yonu visited Calico, it was a stress fest for everyone, well everyone except Yonu. 

I reluctantly made my way to the exam room. Yonu was standing there bickering with Song Hwa with a box of rabbits. 

“We are NOT taking in the rabbits unless you tell us where you got them!” Song Hwa put her foot down. 

“It's classified,” Yonu said with a grin. 

“Then take them back,” Song Hwa was staring daggers at him.

“Yonu, you know we need to clear the legal side of things,” I shook my head, he knew how things worked. Usually he would brag about his conquest, giving us in depth details about his adventures. Sometimes he brought back research and documents for evidence.Something didn’t sit right with me. Where did he get the rabbits? Why wouldn’t he tell us?

“Sorry sugar, can’t share the details this time,” I sighed at his nickname. One day Yonu discovered that I didn’t like sugar in my coffee and he decided to start calling me Sugar. He was one annoying bastard. 

Jason was already weighing the rabbits and taking their temperature. No matter what methods Yonu used to ‘rescue’ the animals, we always took them in. Song Hwa always said I was too soft, she didn’t know how wrong she was.

There were seven rabbits in total. All white with long ears and pink noses. They were unusually small. “Yonu did you kidnap kittens?” I frowned as I leaned in to take a closer look. 

“No they are all adult males,” Jason interjected. He was checking them one by one, taking their blood to run tests, checking their limbs for any injuries, it was a routine procedure. 

“Aren’t they too small?” they were.

“Maybe they are like those toy poodles… toy bunnies?” Song Hwa suggested. It could be or maybe their growth was stunted. Either way, I didn’t like it, something was off about this, I just couldn’t put my finger on it. 

Jason was running blood panels in the lab as I took over the paperwork. The rabbits were safely left in a hatch outside in the garden. Yonu had miraculously disappeared as soon as we turned our backs and I was starting to get a headache. 

The rabbits barely showed any movement when they were being examined. They were practically limp in Jason’s hands. They had clearly been abused. I didn’t like the blank look in their eyes. Most of the time if the animal was scared it’d get defensive and lash out, it was a good sign, it meant that it still had its faculties. These rabbits didn’t make a squeak as they were moved to a new place, it was worrying. I just hoped they weren’t too far gone. 

“We have a problem,” Jason said as soon as I entered the lab. He was sitting in front of the computer, double checking the results. 

“This day just keeps getting better,” I murmured as I leaned in to see what he was looking at. Not that I could make any sense of it. 

“One of the rabbits is a hybrid,” did I hear that right?

“Come again?” did he just say what I thought he said?

“We have a hybrid in our hatch,” my heart sank.

The presence of a hybrid posed a threat to Calico. Not because he was dangerous, but because he was stolen. The laws regarding hybrids were still primitive in most countries. They were basically slaves to the system, regarded as sub-human. Hybrids were considered as property, something to be owned. Rare animal hybrids were highly sought after by the wealthy to show off their status. So technically the rabbit hybrid in our hatch belonged to someone, we had no right to keep him here. If his owner found out, they would sue us. If the government found that we were keeping a stolen hybrid they’d shut us down. 

“Let’s just send him to a hybrid shelter,” Shownu huffed. The staff was gathered in your office for an emergency meeting.

“Most of those shelters have terrible conditions. Why not just keep him here, we have license to house hybrids, it's not that big of a deal,” Jason said. 

“Might I remind you that he is stolen. We can’t keep him here, we have a shelter inspection next week,” Song Hwa frowned. 

Few months ago we had decided to expand Calico to accommodate hybrids too, we had enough room to do so. We had constructed a hybrid “enclosure” as per the government guidelines. They had sent us the requirements. … they wanted us to put people in cages. We all collectively agreed that no hybrid will ever be housed in that place. No matter what anyone said, they were still human. 

“We can’t just abandon him, who knows what those lab people did to him,” Hana retaliated and an argument broke out. I knew they loved this place, they all wanted what’s good for the shelter. This wasn’t this first time we had to lie but having a hybrid was different. None of us had ever dealt with a hybrid before, even if we decided to keep him, what then? But I knew I couldn’t hand him over. Calico was built on a simple principle, to help those who were in need. And that rabbit hybrid needed our help. 

“Enough. We took in the animals that Yonu had brought before because they needed help. We’ve lied on the documents and it’s no different this time. That hybrid needs our help, we just need to come up with a plan,” I passed the verdict. Not everyone liked it but I knew they’d never let me down. 

After the stressful day all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch with Jason and watch TV. Our house was on the edge of the property, secluded in the forest. It was a country cottage with a private garden. YouI stopped by the rabbit hatch on my way back. The poor bunnies were all squished together in a corner, scared of the new environment and the open space outside. 

I couldn’t tell which one was the hybrid as I leaned in to take a look. Looking for him was no use. Maybe talking would work. I sat down beside the hatch with a sigh.

“I know you’re there,” I said quietly. “It must’ve been scary huh? Being taken from the lab. Yonu, the man who brought you here, he’s a good person. He only wanted to help. His methods aren’t always ….well savory but his heart was in the right place. Do you know what this place is? It's called Calico, it's a shelter for animals. We take care of animals who need help and find them a new home. 

“This is my sanctuary. Nobody will hurt you here. You don’t have to be scared. You are safe here, I’m going to keep you safe, okay?” One of the rabbits was looking at me, he quickly ducked his head as he caught my gaze. I smiled, he was listening. 

“You must be hungry huh? Rabbits only get veggies and greens, don’t you want to eat pizza, and ice cream, and pancakes, maybe some sashimi…” I rambled on about food, about Calico and the staff, inside the hatch a bunny was listening intently to my stories. 

Next

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Can we take a moment to talk about what a tragic character Minerva is? Y’all know that for the longest time I haven’t been the biggest fan of her, and honestly I’m still not? but I think I might’ve had a breakthrough on why that is. 

Whenever I’ve asked around to see why people find her so appealing or why they consider her their favorite, I’ll get answers like, “she’s such a complex character and she deserved a redemption arc!” or “she should’ve come back to the school with us! Let Minnie be happy, you cowards! Telltale did her dirty! I could write paragraph after paragraph about her!” all sorts of things along those lines… but like, no one seems to want to actually talk about her. I find that interesting? Since when I do follow up with a “care to explain further?” I get nothing. Radio static. Like…. no, talk to me please, I just wanna understand-

Minerva within the context of TFS is such a tragedy. She grew up in a school for troubled youth where all the adults left them for death at the start of the breakout, they had walkers trying to eat the living all around them, and I’m sure she saw her fair share of traumatic violence and despair… but on the bright side, she always had her twin sister, Sophie, and little brother, Tenn. She had her friend and eventual girlfriend, Violet. She had music, and a dorm full of pretty paintings done by Sophie. She and Louis composed a song together to make everyone feel better. There are worse places to live than the school. 

Then one day she got traded away to a bunch of raiders against her will, having no idea what the hell these people were gonna do to her and Sophie. They were made to be soldiers to fight in a war that had nothing to do with them. The delta fucking broke her. If we’re to believe Lilly’s story about the twins, they started their brainwashing process early on when Sophie was still alive, and it seems like Minerva was easier to control as Sophie was still planning a way out and causing trouble. Then, when Sophie convinced her to steal a boat and get the hell out, they got caught and the delta forced her to murder her own twin sister. 

Like…. I’m sorry, not only did Minerva kill her own sister, but she was made to believe that was the right thing to do? That line she says about how she had to prove her loyalty to the place she calls home? That shit’s ingrained in her brain, you can tell that isn’t the first time she’s heard or said that very thing. That is what made her family to the delta. Delta is her home now, her family. Sophie was just a thing that needed to be dealt with. You keep your head down, do as you’re told, and you survive.  You survive and you get to go home, eat a hot meal, take a shower, and be with your delta family.  If not, you end up like Sophie.

What’s also fucked is that Minerva actually cares about these people now. Think about that. After everything they did to her and made her do, she’s been trained to see them as her family and obey. When you save Louis and he kills Dorian, Minerva actually cries out and is visibly hurt by her death. When she’s with the other raiders on land, she's screaming at walkers to get away from them. She cares about the people who made her kill Sophie… and no one ever talks about that??

She fucking hates Clementine. Clementine is just another thing in Minnie’s way. I know the part of the fandom likes to ship these two together and they think it’s hot when they fight and shit, but within the canon text, Minerva wants Clementine gone. Dead. She is the thing stopping her from having her old family merge with her new family. If Clementine hadn’t made them fight, they all would’ve been captured and they’d all be a delta family now. She would’ve had Tenn back. 

Clementine is the problem, she made everyone fight back and that’s why people are dead. Minerva hates her for it… it’s not a “I hate you but like the sexual tension, y’know?” that I see people pretend it is, it’s “you are ruining everything and if I have to, I will kill you myself and I won’t give a second thought about it when they toss your body overboard.”

Like….. seriously, think about how fucked up all of this is. Minerva is a husk of who she was before she was taken away. Sure, you do have to keep in mind that when Tenn and Violet are describing her, their sights are a bit clouded, y’know? But I do believe that she was someone who was kind and cared about people, she wanted to make people feel safe and comforted. 

Now she’s a brainwashed soldier who won’t help the people she used to call friends when they’re about to get limbs cut off. She won’t hesitate to knock someone unconscious or threaten a child.  She’s willing to trick them into being captured with no regard for what’s going to happen to them. … all she knows is this was the mission, and now they all get to be together again back at the delta. 

Then when she finds out there’s a bomb on the boat, she ditches Violet to blow up with it in order to make it to land herself. She loses her shit seeing everyone die and gets her face chewed off by a walker… and then she tries to blow Clementine and AJ up with a grenade. 

Oh, and who can forget the fact that she tracks the group down with plans of murdering Tenn so that they can go to a better place together? And she’ll take down anyone who gets in her way?

Like….. jesus christ, Minerva’s waaaaay too far gone. It’s awful. 

I think that’s what stumps me about why she’s so loved in the way that she is. It’s not that I don’t understand why she’s complex and well-written, I get that perfectly fine. She’s a compelling character study when you comb over all her scenes and take different factors into account.

What I don’t understand is why we tend to just throw everything interesting about her away? For what? 

These days, I never see anyone talking about any of this unless they’re insisting she deserved a redemption arc which…. Eh, I’ll touch on this later. What I mostly see here and mostly other platforms is how great it would be if she and Clementine made out, or hey what if she and Violet got back together if she did come back to the school? Or they just….the best term I have for this is “uwu-ify.” As in she’s reduced to a caricature of a tall, pretty, mean, white lesbian who has “good damage.” 

People insist that Telltale are cowards or bastards because their predictions of her turning on the delta to save Clem and crew didn’t happen. Instead, Minerva ends up being the final baddie you gotta get away from, and she ends up taking someone down with her. But did you really expect to just do a 180 and suddenly decide being brainwashed for over a year was lame and Clementine and friends are cool? Gonna help them out and be with Tenn again? Sure, there’s some left over trauma but love conquers and fixes everything, right?

Uh…. no? That’s not how people work? Honestly, if we entertain the idea that Minerva wasn’t bit and somehow didn’t murder Clementine when they all got back to the school…. romance is the last thing she is ever gonna think of??

I think that’s what bothers me most when reading these au’s and rants about redemption and the entire idea of clemerva as a whole. It’s the same thing that I see happen with Violet- Minerva only has value to fans if she’s in a wlw relationship. By herself, she doesn’t matter. They don’t care about her canon story, they don’t care about Sophie, they don’t care about discussing what could’ve happened if she and Tenn reunited under better circumstances or had a healing recovery together. But why?

Throwing a girlfriend at her isn’t some band aid that’s gonna cover up all the bad she went through?? Having an enemies to lovers romance with Clementine isn’t going to fix a years worth of brainwashing, trauma or the fact that she murdered her own sister and the delta told her she's proved her worth to them?? 

Having the support of those around her is a good thing, don’t get me wrong. The idea of the Ericson crew as a whole trying to help her out and do the best they can to accommodate her is bittersweet since there’s only so much they can do. They’re not trained therapists, which is what Minerva would need and plenty of years ahead of her to work through and come to terms with everything that happened as well as taking steps forward. I’m not saying that she shouldn’t have friends or that she couldn’t have a healthy romantic relationship someday... but that isn’t the solution, y’know? 

I don’t know how else to explain this, but it makes me feel weird that all of this stuff is flat out overlooked or doesn’t appear to matter to fans of her. 

Look, I get it. We all want these characters to be happy. AU’s are a thing, after all. Sometimes we want to forget about the bad things and focus on the good that bring us comfort. You wanna gush about the idea of an AU where the twins never got traded, the raiders didn’t exist, and Clementine got to meet them the way they were before? I feel that, AU’s are super comforting and fun to explore, and my point isn’t to try and shame anyone who has an AU you like this. 

Hell, you think I don’t have days where I pretend mute Louis isn’t a thing because the whole concept of Louis having his tongue cut out of his mouth breaks my fucking heart? No, lot’s of days I just want to forget everything about that route, I want to set aside all the bad and just intake as much clouis fluff as I can get…. But that doesn’t mean I always ignore or refuse to acknowledge the bad just because I don’t like it. I fucking hate the fact that Louis loses his tongue when you don’t save him, but guess what? That’s a canon route you can play, just like any other route, and the possibilities that come with a mute Louis are vast and compelling. 

This is how it is for me… my favorite characters are my favorite for a reason, and I take all the bad with the good. Louis isn’t perfect, and I don’t want him to be. I was to dive into his backstory about why did that to his parents, I like to talk about what he went through with Marlon’s murder and his feelings about AJ and Clementine at the point, I like to view his love of music as bittersweet. He can stand on his own, and while he is a love interest for Clementine, that isn’t his only purpose. 

I know everyone’s different, they express their love for characters in their own ways, but I do have a genuine question: do you guys actually like Minerva?

Believe it or not, I’m not trying to step on toes or make everyone feel defensive which I know is how people will react to this. “You’re just saying all of this to make us feel bad for shipping clemerva! You don’t even like Minnie so you don’t get to say shit!” yeah yeah, I hear you and look, it’s true that she’s not my favorite character. I know I’ve said I hate her in the past but upon reflection and throwing out fandom interpretations.... I don’t hate her. I get it now. She’s a great character study to dissect and analyze and I think she deserves more than what the writers and the fandom have given her. 

And yeah, what I do hate is clemerva, and I’ve explained why. It’s not for me, it makes me uncomfortable, but at the end of the day, who cares? Me not liking it doesn’t mean anything to those who create AU’s for them. They have their reasons, they can do as they please as long as they’re not hurting anyone. I’m just here pointing out things I see and things that bother me in hopes of starting a discussion.

There’s my ramble about Minerva. I’m gonna go make some tea now. 

[storiesofsvu]

Paper Rings

Rita Calhoun x fem!reader Warnings: language, fluff Covers the “Paper Rings” by Tswift square of storiesofsvuoneyearbingo.

Rita was in the home office, the door wide open since she wasn’t working on anything too important, and it was mid Saturday afternoon, she didn’t want you to feel like she was kicking you out or anything. A phone call had lead to a new light being shed on the case and she just wanted to go over her arguments and questioning quickly. It probably could have waited until later on Sunday evening, but in case she did find something she needed to revamp she wanted to have ample time to form it.

Spring had finally sprung in New York, the warm breeze flowing through the apartment while the flowers were in full bloom, the city alive again with people enjoying the warmth. The two of you had indulged in a lazy morning, breakfast ordered in and eaten in bed, limbs still entangled as you fed each other little bites of bacon and waffles. After a quick shower and finally getting dressed for the day you’d began to make a tentative plan to go enjoy as much of the outdoors as one could get within city limits. Rita had suggested a drive out to the Hamptons but your nose crinkled and asked if you could wait until it was warm enough to actually go in the ocean. She laughed softly, kissing the scrunch out of your nose and agreed, opting for a walk through the park (with extra coffee of course) followed by a late lunch at Papillon.

It appeared her phone call and work interruption was taking a little too long for your liking, she heard you rustle through the outer part of the apartment, clicking on a playlist as you normally did whenever you were cooking. While breakfast had been big, you had a pretty early dinner the previous night (followed by some more than enthusiastic adult times) and you were starting to feel peckish, even if you did have lunch plans. The music floated through the apartment, Rita smiling at your affinity for playful pop songs, knowing there was no doubt you were having a little dance party for one as you put together a snack. A small sizzle from a pan echoed through the air and Rita sighed softly, as much as she wanted to focus on getting the work done, she simply just wanted to be able to spend her weekend with her girl.

“Oh fuck yes!”

She chuckled at your excited mumble as you turned up the volume on the speaker, a song she recognized as Taylor Swift bouncing off the walls, your muted voice singing along to the words. Smiling, she shut her laptop, flipping closed the file and pushed it off to the side to be dealt with later.

She found you exactly as she’d pictured, adorned in cute little cozy romper that you wore so often she’d bought you one in every colour, hips bopping to the tune of the song as you shifted whatever was in the pan. You did a little spin, giggling at the sight of her leaning against the door way, nearly pausing your moments.

“Oh by all means, don’t stop on my accord.” She smiled and you let out a louder laugh, as if her watching eyes had ever made you self conscious before.

“Only if you join me.” You smirked, grabbing at her hand as you tugged her further into the kitchen. Rita let out a soft laugh but wasn’t about to let you dance alone. Right as the chorus started the spatula became your microphone as you openly sang the lyrics out to her, “I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings, uh-hu! That’s right! Darlin’ you’re the one I want.”

Laughing, the gleam in your eye ever evident you wrapped your arms around her shoulders, kissing her gently. She pulled you in for a second one and you gasped, jumping back as you moved the spatula away from her.

“It’s fine, I’m not exactly wearing Prada right now.” She teased and you giggled, stirring at the pan again before dropping the tool on the counter.

“I still don’t wanna risk getting garlic butter in your hair.” You leant forward, kissing her cheek quickly before your hand turned the dial on the speaker down, “sorry.” You winced, “I didn’t mean to interrupt your work.”

“I’m not complaining.” She wrapped an arm around your waist, nuzzling into your side, “besides that’s one of your favourite songs.” She half teased, poking at your ribs, and you swatted at her hand.

“It’s a fucking bop Rita.” You insisted and she laughed.

“I don’t get the paper rings thing.”

“Really?” You glanced up at her, brow furrowed.

“Well I get the sentiment of it, that part I understand.”

“When you were a kid did you never tie paper into a ring? Or like, grass when you were out playing with your friends?” You paused, feigning offence, “your parents did let you play in the park right?”

“I was allowed outside.” She scoffed, swatting at your arm before laying a kiss on your temple, “I can’t say I ever made grass rings for anyone.”

“You’re missin’ out, it’s the symbol of true love.” You mocked, “here…” your hand swiped one of the straws sitting on the counter that had come with the takeout that morning. Swiftly you ripped the package open, dumping the straw out of it before gesturing for Rita’s hand. She chuckled softly but held it up for you, watching as you expertly and carefully wound the paper around her left ring finger, managing to even tie it off into the best resembling gem that you could. After tearing off the excess paper you looked up to her, shrugging, “one of my friends was super good with origami, she learnt how to make super cute rings, we all had matching ones in school until we realized paper was water soluble.”

“Adorable.” Rita chuckled, kissing your cheek gently.

“Sorry.” You kissed her cheek quickly, “I should let you get back to work.”

“On the contrary, work can wait. Whatever you’re making smells delicious and I promised you a day together.”

“Snack and then we’ll head out?” You asked, “try and actually catch some sun before it disappears?”

“Sounds like the greatest way to spend a day.” Rita smiled, kissing you softly before you moved back to the stove.

You’d thrown together the leftover shrimp from the other night with a few varying veggies that you knew wouldn’t take too long to grill up. Knowing Rita might’ve been hungry you’d tossed in enough to share, but it still wasn’t a huge portion. You ate quickly and then left the apartment hand in hand, basking in the sun as you made your way down to the park.

Rita was still insistent on stopping at your usual favourite coffee shop for the mid afternoon pick me up, though you opted for an iced latte today trying the new feature flavour they had, claiming that it was finally warm enough out you wanted to actually indulge. Rita couldn’t help but playfully roll her eyes at you, she was never one for adding sweetness to her coffee, and thought that a lot of the flavourings seemed a bit ridiculous (and don’t even get her started on pumpkin spice) but as long as she wasn’t drinking it, she’d put up with your habits.

Central Park was busy, as you’d expected, families out taking advantage of the big fields, parents playing a variety of sports with their kids, some simply playing tag trying to burn off as much energy from the little ones that they could outside of the apartment for once. You paused slightly watching a Dad playing a makeshift game of kickball while you sucked the last of your coffee through the straw, your eyes nearly lingering before tossing the cup into the trash. You felt the squeeze of Rita’s hand around yours and you glanced up to her face, head tilted in question.

“You sure you don’t want to have kids?” She asked hesitantly and you nodded.

“Yeah. A hundred percent.” You fell back into step beside her, your free hand wrapping around her bicep softly, “while I like the idea of kids, tiny humans who are half you? That you get to experience the world for the first time again through their eyes, watch the succeed in life, yeah that sounds great. But I’m not here for the tantrums, and the exhaustion, the price of raising a kid! Do you have any idea how expensive diapers are? Jesus…” she laughed at your muttering, “I am more than happy and satisfied with being an Aunt.”

“Good.” She mused, kissing your cheek softly as you continued to make your way through the park.

“I wouldn’t say no to a cat though.”

“A cat I can definitely deal with.” She laughed softly, smiling into the soft kiss you laid on her lips.

As planned, you stopped in for an semi early dinner, splitting plates of calamari, shrimp tacos and mushroom risotto croquettes. You practically dragged Rita into a bakery a few doors down, nearly drooling over the pastries as you tried to decide which ones would be coming home with you. Laughing, she kissed you softly, telling you to just get one of everything that you had your eye on. You kissed her nearly breathless in excitement and adoration for the way she spoiled you on a regular basis. (The shop owner couldn’t help but smile, throwing in a few extra tarts on the house because not only were you regulars, but you were too cute not to).

Back at the apartment you laid the treats out on the coffee table while Rita cracked a bottle of wine, bringing it over to you. The windows had a perfect view as the sky turned a swirling combination of pink and yellow, hints of blue clinging onto the season as the sun began to sink in the horizon. Leaning against her shoulder you picked up Rita’s hand in yours, rubbing your thumb across her knuckles before you lifted your head, glancing down at the straw wrapper still wrapped around her finger.

“You’re still wearing that?” You half laughed.

“Guess it just felt natural.” She murmured softly, pressing a kiss into your forehead, “feels kind of unfair that you don’t have one.”

“Well isn’t that how it works?” You playfully shoved at her arm, “if I ask you to marry me you’d be the one with the ring until the wedding, right?”

“I suppose.” She sighed, suddenly pushing up from the couch, “still feels like you deserve one.”

“Well bring me the other straw, I’ll teach you how to make one.” You nestled into the couch, your attention distracted by the t.v, “better yet I can pick up some origami paper tomorrow and we can try to make the fancy ones.” You heard Rita rummaging through one of the drawers in the kitchen and your brow furrowed, though it stayed on the show in front of you, “it’s on the counter babe.”

“I’ve got a better idea.” She called back and you wondered what on earth she was going on about, even more so when she returned to the couch with nothing in her open hand.

“Where’s the straw?”

“You said you liked shiny things.” She half shrugged, revealing the little blue box in her other hand and you gasped.

“Rita…” your hands flew to your mouth as she cracked the box open, you’d had no doubt the diamond was going to be extravagant but you still weren’t prepared. “That certainly is fucking shiny.”

“Darling…you’re the one that I want.” Her free hand cupped at your cheek gently, “believe me, I had something a little more extravagant planned for this weekend but you axed going to the Hamptons.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“Oh don’t be.” She half scoffed, “being with you isn’t about the fancy times, it’s about being together, forever. I want your dreary Monday’s, I want your complications too. In picture frames, in dirty dreams.” You couldn’t help but giggle at that sentiment, “I’ve waited my whole life for someone like you to come around and I’m surprised I even waited this long to ask. Will you marry me?”

“Oh Rita Calhoun of fucking course I’ll marry you.” Your voice was clogged with tears as you lunged toward her, your arms tightly wrapping around her shoulders as hers slid around your waist. You nearly laughed at the heavy sigh of relief she let out, cupping the back of your head softly as she pressed a kiss to your temple. As if you could ever say no to her, much less say no to spending your life with her. “I love you so much you couldn’t even imagine.” You murmured into her shoulder

“Darling I really think I can.” Her own words were thick with emotion by now and you pulled back, your hands trailing down her arms as you saw the happy tears in her eyes. The hand not holding the ring box moved back up to your face, wiping away a stray tear, “I love you more than anything. And another day going by without you knowing that I wanted to be your wife was a waste.”

“Well it’s a good thing I know now.” You teased, watching as she slipped the diamond onto your finger, “I can’t believe I get you as my wife.”

“Likewise sweetheart.” She murmured softly as she leant in, her lips meeting yours in a deep yet soft kiss. Your lips moving with grace against each other’s before a small giggle broke you apart.

“Guess you can take off that silly paper one now.”

“Oh…I’ll take it off but it’s not going anywhere.” Very carefully she raised her hand, slipping the paper off her finger, she shifted forward, dropping into the small dish on the coffee table, “without it I doubt I would have had the courage to ask you today.” She kissed the tip of your nose and you giggled quietly, “technically, you instigated this. We can think of a better place to keep it later.”

“And you’ll let me buy you a shiny one?”

“Of course darling.” Rita kissed you once again, the smile breaking out on her cheeks as she gazed at you in what could only be described as ultimate true love. She’d loved you from the moment she had met you, and now? She got to spend the rest of her life with you and neither of you could be any happier than you were in that moment.

_______ @charabs @natasha-danvers @ineedafinghug @veteranwerewolf95 @billiedeannovak @stardust-galaxies @laurenhope13 @randomthingssss @farahs-faeling @beccabarba @imlike-so-gaydude @thatesqcrush @bisexual-dreamer02 @altsvu @svulife-rl @svushots @gay-ass-bitch @lesbianspacecowboy @paulson-hargitay @whispered-tear-drops @wannabe-fic-reader @witchxaf @sarcasticmami @angelicdestieldemon @lawandorderimagines @gaylorrds @smuttty @infiniteoddball @delphineecormierr @gabby-mueller23 @solemnnova @whimsicallymad @mysticfalls01 @1000spices @oliviaswifey @thatgaygiraffesquirrelgirl @nocreditinthestraightworld @redlipstickandplaid @cmmndrwidw @bumblebear30 @denpine @molllss @wosoimagines @snowsgay19 @michael-rooker @jj-arms@infernumlilith @yourtaletotell @australiancarisi @cerberus-spectre

[travoltacustom]

The Presentation of Hifumi’s Trauma

I’ve been thinking on how Hifumi’s trauma has been presented for years now, and with the release of Bad Ass Temple VS Matenro, I feel like now’s as good a time as any to give my thoughts on this.

Note: This is in no way a defense of KR for the presentation of Hifumi’s trauma, but it is an analysis of such. I’m open to discussion on this and you’re free to disagree with me at any point on this. Most of this was also written BEFORE the release of the album, save for the last section.

CW: Mentions of abuse, trauma and rape + spoilers of the MTR dramatrack

I hear a lot that the presentation of Hifumi’s trauma is a ‘poor attempt at humour’, but I don’t exactly think it’s that simple. It is still a presentation of trauma, but it’s not portrayed as humorous in comparison to the rest of the humour of the series.

NARRATIVE

Hifumi panics when he sees women. He is unable to do anything until women are removed from the scene - but these instances are hardly ever the focus of the scene. It’s mostly used as a scene cutter to progress the story. When Chuo enters, Hifumi’s panic cuts off the situation and the focus shifts straight to the women. When the women find Hifumi, Doppo, Gentaro and Dice, Hifumi’s jacket is taken away to shift focus off of the women and to have Gentaro and Dice speak. Rather, Hifumi’s panic at these times are plot movers and not the focal point of the scene. Sadly, they can be seen as plot devices, but it’s not supposed to be seen as humour.

In addition to this, the ‘hysterical’ screaming (for lack of a better word) in the presence of women is limited to the dramatracks. In the manga and the anime, Hifumi runs away/removes himself from the presence of women. The purpose of Hifumi’s hysteria in the dramatracks is for visualisation purposes as there’s no visual aids - the reactions to women are toned down in the anime and manga. With this, it’s easier to believe that the anime and manga is the ‘intended’ portrayal of his reactions as the dramatrack has to make up for what isn’t seen.

PRESENTATION

The narrative is very aware that Hifumi’s trauma affects him badly. It’s a panic response. But it’s not the same as a panic attack. We know how awful the presentation of such can be, and it’s definitely something triggering for a lot of people. Personally, I would feel horrible to see him have a panic attack every time he saw a woman. KR doesn’t want to make his discomfort the focus of the scene either. Simply put, I think his trauma response is a part of the scene, but has less plot purpose than what is going on around it. 

Trauma can be presented in different ways, but it’s more controlled to see only a glimpse of how trauma has affected Hifumi. There are other ways of showing this trauma and how it’s affected Hifumi that HPMI has already covered: Hifumi being unable to take off his suit jacket, behavioural change when wearing the jacket, his extremely warped perception of danger when his life is threatened etc. He’s spent 10 years adapting to the trauma and is in a stage of recovery as he’s going to confront his said abuser. If we were compounding this plot point with an idea of a Hifumi that is always having panic attacks, then we would have a Hifumi that is clearly not ready to deal with what he wants.

COMPARISON

We know the writers can portray trauma as such from Jyushi’s backstory. If we remember the fandom response, there were people who were legitimately triggered to varying degrees by what happened to Jyushi’s grandmother and the severe bullying he suffered. Really, I believe that Hifumi’s trauma hasn’t been the forefront of scenes because narratively it’s not the time for this to happen yet.

There seems to be a ‘trauma-porn’ narrative around the need to have Hifumi’s trauma played out ‘correctly. Trauma porn is media that showcases a group’s pain and trauma in excessive amounts for the sake of entertainment. There’s no need right now to show the extent of how badly Hifumi has been affected, because his trauma isn’t the focal point of the story or his character. His past is about to be shown, but it shouldn’t be what defines Hifumi as a character. And even more importantly so, there’s no ‘right’ version of trauma to portray.

HONOBONO

[ This section is written post Bad Ass Temple VS Matenro’s dramatrack.]

There are no redeeming qualities to Honobono, the source of Hifumi’s trauma. She’s despised by Chuohku and kept around for her ‘usefulness’, and Doppo was unsure of Hifumi going to confront his own abuser. However, in the recent dramatrack, Hifumi’s power is taken away from him in Honobono forcing herself into his space. This is the first time we’ve ever seen Hifumi have an explosion of emotions; ‘a typical image of a panic attack’. It is an audibly uncomfortable scene, just as Jyushi’s backstory was to read. There are different levels to trauma responses that HPMI has shown us with the 1st season’s Hifumi with short moments, but this instance is long and drawn out with guttural screaming.

HPMI was always perfectly capable of showing trauma, but for a listener, to hear this sort of occurrence every time around a woman would be potentially harmful. At this moment, Hifumi was nearly completely paralysed, suffering a breakdown of his identity by switching pronouns and screaming (similar to Gentaro’s breakdown at the insult of his clothes). It is difficult to listen to this. I don’t believe you would’ve wanted to hear this every time Hifumi was reminded of Honobono. We’ve even learned that the abuse might not have been dealt directly to Hifumi but to his family - we see Hifumi’s love for his family here in being so torn by her actions, and how trauma does not have to deal with someone directly either.  However, the first instances of Hifumi’s trauma were more ‘digestible’ for a viewer, and they set us up for this moment. It was good that Hifumi’s panic responses were less heavy than the blow we’ve been dealt with this dramatrack.

In meeting Hifumi, Honobono greets her with “Hi-Fu-Mi”, just like how Hifumi says his own name in songs. It is most likely that Honobono said his name like this when they were in highschool; for Hifumi to use it in his songs now can be seen as a reclamation of his identity, as now Honobono can’t use his own name against him. Hifumi has spent years recovering from her, and seeing small hints of how he’s trying to move on from that time is a legitimately good way to understand the recovery from trauma.

WHAT IS IT?

The HPMI fandom seemed to have an ‘obsession’ with what exactly traumatised Hifumi up until this point. Most believed that it would have been sexual abuse/rape, given that he fears the opposite gender, and it wouldn’t have been the first time sexual themes have appeared in HPMI (the trafficked women at the start of BB/MTC’s manga). However, to think that ‘there is only one sort of trauma that can cause Hifumi’s pain’ is a dangerous idea. Almost anything can be traumatising, and almost anything can be a trigger. 

There’s no need to theorise ‘what is good enough’ to be a trauma for him. To fear women, it can simply be that a woman has done something bad to him - which we see is Honobono. When we hear women fearing men because a man did something bad to them, we don’t theorise what exactly happened to her. There’s the automatic assumption that gendered fear is the result of sexual abuse, when in reality, it can be any manner of abuse that has caused this.

OPINIONS

So I don’t think KR is portraying Hifumi’s trauma as humorous. It’s definitely awkward, but the narrative has constantly made it clear that he’s in a state of discomfort that stems from trauma and Doppo and Jakurai always do their best to move him out of those situations without drawing too much attention. Nobody in the story laughs at him, save for Asunaro, who’s an ill-mannered child without sensitivity towards both Doppo and Hifumi, and Honobono, the source of his trauma. Those who don’t understand Hifumi in the adult cast however only find confusion in him. 

There’s no ‘best’ portrayal of trauma in any media. But it’s clear that HPMI isn’t trying to be malicious or poke fun at any sort of trauma at all. If anything, I think the portrayal of it so far has been relatively ‘easy’ on common audiences that don’t explore such media, helping people to realise how trauma can manifest without forcing others who do have trauma to realise their pained experience in this media. Hifumi has been painted as someone relatable to those with trauma because he’s still a man who’s capable of doing his best while still stumbling along his way to recovery. Traumatised shouldn’t be the descriptor of Hifumi, but he is a character that has been traumatised.

While Honobono and her abuse is an integral part of Hifumi’s backstory, she does not define him as a person. To portray Hifumi as a strong character, despite moments of trauma responses, was a suitable choice in treating him respectably. 

[redroomwidows]

Love Story

SUMMARY: Y/n and Bucky are in love, despite the issues life throws at them.

based off the song ‘Love Story’ by Taylor Swift. This is for Valentines day and in honour of Taylor releasing her first re-recorded song! 

WORD COUNT: 1735

WARNINGS:  Swearing, a little bit of angst. My lack of 40s knowledge and protective father knowledge. 

Happy valentines day! Even if you don’t have anyone to celebrate it with, treat yourself! 

40s! Bucky Barnes x fem! reader

If anyone were to describe Bucky Barnes, it would be as a ladies' man. He could smile at a girl and they’d fall instantly in love before he’s even said his name. Bucky didn’t hate this, in fact he used it to his advantage many times, however eventually it got tiring. He felt like he was expected to be charming and endearing all the time. But on some nights, he just wanted to go out with Steve, he didn’t want to go dancing, he just wanted to have a beer with his friend 

Today was one of those days. He’d entered the bar in hopes of sitting down and having a few laughs with his friend, however the two had seemed to forget it was dancing night. As soon as they entered all eyes were on Bucky, but he just smiled, slightly embarrassed, and walked with Steve to get them a table.

The night wasn’t as bad as he expected it to be, him and Steve still had fun, even though the numerous ladies giving Bucky the eyes from halfway across the room was staring to get on Steve’s nerves. Eventually, Bucky let his eyes wander through the crowd and they land on a woman in the corner. Bucky’s eyes widen slightly, she was gorgeous. Her hair was down in the usual pin curls he’d seen, but her face looks painted on, like she was a goddess from a painting made long ago. He’d seen her before, but she always hid in the corner with her friend, hiding her face slightly. But today, it was clear she’d had a bit to drink and she was laughing loudly and Bucky couldn't help but keep staring. The woman turns slightly, feeling eyes on her and when she catches Bucky, she gives him a small smile.

“I’ll be back,” He says quickly to Steve, standing.

“Buck…” Steve sighs “You said you wouldn’t. Not tonight -”

“I know...Look one dance,” he raises his index finger and Steve nods, knowing it was a lie but he wanted to go home now anyway. The Bar was slowly emptying out and only a few already established couples were sat at tables or dancing. 

Bucky makes his was across the dance floor and his target looks up slightly.

“Hey,” he introduces himself “I’m Bucky,”

“Y/n,” she introduced herself, putting her hand out for him to shake, but instead he takes it in his hand and kisses it, maintaining eye contact with her. Instead of blushing as he expects though, she laughs. And right then, is when Bucky decides he wanted to marry her. 

Y/n and Bucky met several times after that night, either accidentally, or they arranged to do something together. Eventually, those arrangements turned into dates and the two were quickly falling in love.

Bucky always tried to walk Y/n home, but whenever they got to the end of her street, she’d insist she could go on her own. Her father was...protective to say the least and she didn’t need him to know about her growing relationship with Bucky. She wanted him to know, god she wanted her whole family to know. But her father would never even let her have a chance to speak.

“Let me walk you home tonight doll,” Bucky starts and Y/n stop in her tracks, looking up at her boyfriend 

“I’ll be fine Buck, it’s barely two minute walk,”

“I know, but I want to be a real gentleman, walk you to the door,”

“You are a real gentleman,” Y/n smiles, reaching to hold Bucky’s cheek 

“I don’t feel like one when I don’t get to kiss you goodnight in front of your door,”

“Maybe I’m not a real lady hm?” Y/n smiles 

“No, that can’t be right,” Bucky shakes his head and Y/n laughs, leaning to press a soft kiss to his lips.

Bucky smiles into the kiss, pulling Y/n in closer by the hips, there’s a moment of calm before a car drives past, and Y/n's eyes widen as she recognises the car “oh shit,” 

“What?” Bucky turns and the car stops as a man leans over and winds the window down.

“Y/n…” the man starts.

“Dad,” she responds and Bucky’s eyes widen as well and he lets go of his girlfriend, attempting to wipe her lipstick from his lips “This is Bucky my um…”

“I don’t care. Get in the car Y/n,”

“Dad - I’m not a kid anymore. I can go out with who I like,”

“Not while you live under my roof,” 

“Dad!”

“Get in the car!” he continues and Y/n sighs, giving Bucky’s hand a squeeze with a sad smile as she gets into the backseat “Stay away,” he drives off and Y/n sighs, banning her head against the window.

When back inside the house, Y/n goes immediately up the stairs “Oh, so you’re ignoring me now?” her father asks

“Yes, I am,” 

“Who even was he?”

“He was my boyfriend dad!” Y/n turns “and you just forced me into the car and home when I was on a date,”

“I’ve never met him before, how can he be your boyfriend?”

“You’ve never met him because of this,” Y/n gestures, turning around as tears well in her eyes, she didn’t want her father to stop her from seeing Bucky. She was a grown adult for fucks sake, yet her father still thought he had control over her.

“I’m a grown adult, I’m allowed to go on dates and have a boyfriend, I’m allowed to be in love,”. Y/n rushes up the stairs, sitting down calmly on her bed as she lets the tears fall, burying her face in her hands. 

The weeks and months following that night, were full of secret meetings and sneaking out of the house for Y/n. Her father had told her to stop seeing Bucky, but she didn’t listen and Bucky would do anything to keep seeing her, so he dealt with the scolding from Steve and the sadness that flooded through him whenever his and Y/n’s time together was cut short.

“Y/n,” Bucky says one night when they’re lying in the grass of a park a few blocks from Y/n’s house.

“Hm?” she answers, looking over at him

“I uh -” he’s unsure how to say it, unsure how to tell his love he’s leaving

“What is it Buck?” She’s concerned now, he’s never normally this quiet.

“I got my orders. I’m leaving for England in a few days,”

It takes her a minute to process what he’s just said “England?”

“Yeah,” Bucky grabs her hand, giving it a squeeze “I - I don’t expect you to wait for me,”

“Of course, I’ll wait for you!” Y/n nearly shouts and she leans over so she’s straddling Bucky “Of course I’ll wait, I’ll write letters, I’ll visit Steve, I’ll take care of Becca. I’ll do anything you need okay?”

“I just - You could have anyone and what If I don’t come back?”

“You will come back,” Y/n says firmly “You’ll come back because the woman who loves you will be right here,”

“Love?”

“Yeah, Love,” Y/n smiles leaning down to kiss Bucky slowly “I love you Bucky Barnes. More than any words can describe”.

Y/n said she’d write and she did, her and Bucky exchanged letters as often as they can. Sometimes Y/n felt like she was just writing into nothingness, but then every few months she’d get a reply that responded to everything she’d said. However, at one point there was nothing for so long Y/n got worried, she was scared. What of he’d been taken captive? What if he was unable to write? What if he’d - she could never fully finish that thought.

Her family had told her to stop writing, to move on and go out dancing again. Maybe she’d find another man. But most of the men were gone at this point, even if Y/n had the thought of leaving Bucky, which she never did. 

She wished Bucky would come back, that he’d kiss her on the lips and say everything would be alright, that he was safe and happy. Bur she doubted that would happen, she was coming to expect the letter so many others had received.

Ultimately, Y/n had to stop sending letters, the pain of not receiving anything back was becoming too much. She had spent weeks in her room, but eventually her mother had forced her out, telling her to go for a walk around the park. It was evening by now and most the kids were gone now, Y/n felt like it was just her there and she found herself returning to the spot her and Bucky used to lay in the middle of the night. 

“Hey,” A familiar voice calls and Y/n turns around and she lets out a small, quiet laugh.

“Hey,” Y/n smiles, but before she can rush into Bucky’s arms, she notices his left one in a sling.

“I uh, got sent home, can’t really fire a gun,” he laughs slightly and Y/n runs to him, making sure to lean into his right side, he hugs her back and when they pull apart, both can see the other is crying.

“I missed you, I missed you so much,” Y/n cups Bucky’s face in her hands, examining his face for any cuts or scars.

“Me too doll,” Bucky smiles and lets Y/n press a kiss to his lips.

“I’m sorry for stopping writing. I got scared and -”

“I know,” Bucky nods “It’s okay, I know,” Y/n could barely breathe when she looked at Bucky, he looked different, older sadder, and it broke her heart. However, behind it all was the familiar shine Y/n saw that night when she said she loved him.

“I wanted to ask you something,”

“Anything,” Y/n smiles and Bucky steps back, reaching into his pocket 

“I uh, bought this before I left. I wanted to ask but I didn’t want you feeling more. alone,” He slowly lowers himself to the ground and Y/n widens her eyes.

“I don’t want to leave you again, I don’t want to read letters about your life, I want to experience it with you and I don’t want it to be a secret. I spoke to your dad, he said he approved and -”

“Yes,” Y/n answers instantly and a wide smile graces her face, the biggest smile that’d graced her face in months. 

It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"

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