#and I’m not hating on travis like him not being there in 2016 is not a dig towards him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fratboybeezer · 6 months

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Flyers Primer - Text Version

Presentation version here

featuring many of my personal opinions on players & some phantoms i find notable

*edit: fuck carter hart and i was very harsh on sam for no reason also there’s a lot of typos sorry

Cam Atkinson

forward (rw), #89

drafted 157th overall to CBJ in 2008

amazing instagram comment-er

on the nhl player inclusion coalition

played for torts in cbus

seems just happy to be here

basically #1 gritty fan

Sean Couturier

forward (c), #14

coots, couter, no chest

drafted 8th overall to PHI in 2011

playing this season after being on ir for like a season and a half

should have an a or c

used to live with now gm danny b

last of my fav ginger trio (him, g, and jakey)

toothless

Marc Staal

defenseman, #18

drafted 12th overall to NYR in 2005

2nd of 4 staals

homophobic, boycotted pride night with his brother eric in florida last season

career overall +/- of +50, over 1100 games played

Scott Laughton

forward (c), #21

our one and only a

laughts, laughtsy, scotty tatum

drafted 20th overall to PHI in 2012

passionate LGBTQ+ ally

always the one to put up the pride flag in front of the farg

first guests of the season were a lesbian couple celebrating their 1 year wedding anniversary

best drip on the roster (decided by me after that horrid drip night they had)

kinda reminds me of a cat idk

drinks a black, hot coffee

let atkinson wear his a for atkinson’s first game back in cbus after being traded to philly (back when we had a c and 2 a’s)

had an a with team canada at world’s

has a cat named brucey

Travis Konecny

forward (rw), #11

tk, teeks, tiki bar

drafted 24th overall to PHI in 2015

literally one of the best (if not the best) player on our roster idc argue with the wall

called a “short king” (he is 5’10, there’s shorter guys on the roster)

certified DILF!!

my mom’s fav flyer (she can only name 3 total)

once lost his shoes on the plane and therefore postponed press

pest/rat/raccoon (affectionate)

lives in penalty box yet an absolute goal scorer

his best on ice comparison is a chihuahua

best flow on the roster idc

our media rep this year!!! Slay!!

best chirps on the roster

Joel Farabee

forward (lw), #86

beezer, young beezer, bee, young beezy

drafted 14th overall to PHI in 2018

my favorite player i could go on and on about him

had neck surgery after 21-22 season and came back and played all 82 games in 22-23 season

is already becoming a leader on the team

bought a house from coots early 22 and now it’s a hub for the young guys on the team

gives off frat boy vibes in the best way

is such a teammate guy

asg shootout hater

has (at least 1) tattoo

his game day coffee order is an iced coffee with almond milk, no sweetener, on off days gets a brown sugar shaken espresso, prefers iced over hot coffee, and never met a coffee he didn’t like

grew up liking the flyers & phillies and really wanted to be drafted to philly

“i thank my lucky stars” -bee when talking about getting drafted to philly

claimed in a tk mic’d up that he was dropping a mixtape and never dropped it :(

silliest guy on instagram

Carter Hart

goalie, #79

hartsy, cahtah haht

drafted 48th overall by PHI in 2016

our starter <3 love him

as i’m making this is injured but is practicing with the team so hopefully he’ll be back soon

deserves better than philly but you can pry him from my cold dead hands

@st-louis has a great primer about him

Samuel Ersson

goalie, #33

drafted 143rd overall to PHI in 2018

not the best but he’s trying (i think)

would benefit from some time down with the phantoms

tbh shouldn’t be our #2

Cal Petersen

goalie, #40

drafted 129th overall to BUF in 2013

looks like he would blow away in the wind ngl

me and my friend hate him i’m sorry (sorta)

has spent most of his career so far with the kings

Felix Sandstrom

#32

drafted 70th overall to PHI in 2015

he should be our #2 idc

or down with the phantoms to improve

i can’t think of him without thinking of those pics @mad-bee posted of him like

👁️👁️

Bobby Brink

forward (rw), #10

drafted 34th overall to PHI in 2019

a baby!! (is a 22 y/o man)

my friend knows him specifically as “our rookie”

a REAL short king (5’8)

university of denver

Cam York

defenseman, #8

yorkie, yam cork

drafted 14th overall to PHI in 2019

umich boy, would’ve graduated with team 101

also a usndtp boy

i’m too lazy to look for evidence but probably part of the hughes summer club

Tyson Foerster

forward (rw), #71

drafted 23 overall to PHI in 2020

even more of a baby than brink (he’s a 21 y/o man)

roomies with beezer, stayed in philly during the off-season

i don’t think he stops smiling

described by beezer as “like a little adhd kid”

seems to be besties with yorkie

Egor Zamula

defenseman, #5

undrafted

was super excited to play alongside pr*vorov when he got called up from the Phantoms

part of beezer’s summer group

Nicolas Deslauriers

forward (lw), #44

nic, des, delo

drafted 84th overall to LAK in 2009

french canadian

hit 600 games 10/10!!

usually one of the top guys on the team in hits, pim, fights

has a career overall of -91 but like isn’t a goal scorer so. averages about 6 points per game in overall career

great fighter very hot 10/10

Nick Seeler

defenseman, #24

seels, seal team

drafted 131st overall to MIN in 2011

underrated!!!!!!!!

another great fighter that’s very hot 10/10

there’s not much to him other than punches but that’s ok i love him

fought des when des was playing with the wild

Noah Cates

forward (lw), #27

catesy

drafted 137th overall to PHI in 2017

has a brother who was with the organization but now is with bridgeport in the ahl (got to play some nhl games together!!!!)

once said flyers locker room lacked the “swagger of the winning mentality” which is a fucking hilarious way to word it

was on 2022 us men’s olympic roster

Morgan Frost

forward (c), #48

frosty

drafted 27th overall to PHI in 2017

never captions his instagram posts

angered torts or something because he keeps getting benched with no chance to properly prove himself

flyers hater

Travis Sanheim

defenseman, #6

sanny, sandy, sandra

drafted 17th overall by PHI in 2014

besties + neighbors with tk (known together as travii or travis²)

whl boy

besties with tk’s oldest kid

Owen Tippett

forward (rw), #74

tippy, tipper

drafted 10th overall to FLA in 2017

got him when we traded our captain :,( miss you G

hair looks unnatural but like i’m 90% it is natural

Garnet Hathaway

forward (rw), #19

undrafted

signed as free agent in july

part of phd line (w/ des & poehling)

UHM HIS FIRST NAME IS FUCKING JOHN?!

i don’t like him please don’t ask why i don’t have an answer

Ryan Poehling

forward (c), #25

drafted 25th overall to MTL in 2017

another guy signed in july

saved him from the penguins 🫶🏻

phd line

honestly i don’t know much abt him

Louie Belpedio

defenseman, #37

drafted 80th overall to MIN in 2014

has like 3 nhl games under his belt (12? as i’m making this)

signed july 2022 but has chilling in lehigh valley

went to miami of ohio

has a totally of 3 points but like i said only 11 games he’s got a lot of space for more

Victor Mete

defenseman, #98

drafted 100th overall to MTL in 2016

signed as a free agent in july

more of an assists guy than a goals guy and honestly i’m content with that

career overall +/- of +19

about 250 games under his belt

Sean Walker

defenseman, #26

walks

undrafted

bgsu grad & 2 seasons as captain there

his trade helped us send pr*vorov on his way, hope the door hit him on the way out

not rly talked abt but i think he’s cool (i’m going to bgsu lol)

Long term IR Boys

Ryan Ellis

defenseman, #94

drafted 11th overall to NSH in 2009

i don’t think he’s played a single game with us

like was injured when he was drafted and has been on ir the whole time

we lost phil myers for him (and nolpat too ig)

back injury? i think?

i have no thoughts on him ngl

Rasmus Ristolainen

defenseman, #55

drafted 8th overall to BUF in 2013

horrid career overall +/- (-176)

traded robert hagg & 2 draft pics for him?

i like him tho ig

looks like a different person in like every photo i’ve ever seen of him

his injury is undisclosed

The Phantoms

Wade Allison

forward (rw), #19 (#17 with flyers)

wader, ally, ally cat

drafted 52nd overall to PHI in 2016

he’s my girlfriend i miss him

lived in beezer’s basement last season

part of the fratboys (w/ frosty & beezer)

wmu boy

spent all of last season with the flyers

Tanner Laczynski

forward (c), #9 (#58 with the flyers)

drafted 169th overall to PHI in 2016

OSU boy (ew)

has never spent a whole season up with the flyers :(

my mom once told me he looked like a loser before finding out he was an nhl player

buds with wader

Zayde Wisdom

forward (rw), #14

drafted 94th overall to PHI in 2020

used to live with foerster?

he would cook and tyson would clean

i need him to be called up so we have that duo back

scored 29 goals in his second ohl season

Emil Andrae

defenseman, #6 (#36 with flyers)

drafted 54th overall to PHI in 2020

played 4 games with us this season

not much of a goal scorer but can do it

kinda looks very stereotypical swede

Ronnie Attard

defenseman, #12

drafted 72nd overall to PHI in 2019

was tri-city storm captain for the 18-19 season

another wmu boy — played a season there with ally in 19-20

played 2 games with the flyers last season and 15 the year before

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jalwyn21 · 2 months

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There’s a lot of things I despise about Swifties, but the out and out lies, especially on the day of the birth of our kind and handsome man, take the cake.

The last few days, it’s all about him NOT being William Bowery which whatever. And now it’s - “He was always taking Taylor’s jet all over the world without her. He went to Spain with his friends on her jet. He flew back and forth weekly from Nashville to London in 2016 and 2017. There are paparazzi pictures of him always getting on the jet without her. He used it constantly.”

Like what???? Of course he used it when he was with her, and I’m sure there were times he used it without her - flying back from being on location or meeting up with her, but how in the fuck is the jet issue a Joe problem? And of course it’s the Travis/Taylor shippers beating this drum when the GP and others are noticing private jets being used to make sure Travis shows up for Taylor in Australia because that’s their whole thing! Showing up for each other for (only) public events! I don’t know why - but the lies and mocking to use as some gotcha with- “even the perfect blonde Brit with his silly pin that he is using to make himself look better than her, took her private jet” pisses me off today. And it’s because they know their man is trash, that he is being compared to a man with integrity, and has an expiration date that is quickly approaching.

They'll say anything...

They know they can't elevate TK or TS so their only option is to drag Joe down in the mud too. If they can make Joe look bad, than maybe TS and TK will look better, by comparison. And they hate the fact that Joe is such a decent man that they can't find any real dirt on him.

#free joe alwyn #joe alwyn #joealwyn #jalwyn #nonnie #q&a #anti taylor swift #shit swifties say #toxic swifties #parasocial behavior #toxic taylor swift

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polijakefim · 10 months

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Outside Magazine, November 2016 | Travis fimmel, Vikings actors, Happy play

Travis Fimmel’s Minimalist Broasis

Vikings star Travis Fimmel has exactly three possessions: his trailer, his pickup truck, and his horse

I’d been told to meet the Australian actor Travis Fimmel, best known for his role as Norse warrior Ragnar Lothbrok in the History channel’s Vikings series, at his ranch outside Los Angeles. Given the popularity of the show—four seasons, an Amazon Prime release, and season five in the works—I had assumed that Fimmel’s pad would be some secluded midcentury hideout with a well-stocked kitchen and a gym worthy of a broadsword slinger who’d also recently anchored a Warcraft film adaptation that made nearly half a billion dollars worldwide

But the address led to a dusty outdoor riding arena just off the highway, where Fimmel, barefoot in a pair of camo cargo shorts and a surf tee, greeted me from the back of his 15-year-old chestnut quarter horse, Wanker.

“I’m just getting him warmed up so he doesn’t buck you off,” says Fimmel, who is 37 and was raised on a dairy farm in Echuca, Australia. He grew up working in his family’s cherry orchards, camping and fishing with his two older brothers, and surfing behind dirt bikes in irrigation canals. He came to L.A. when he was 21, after being scouted by a modeling agency and dropping out of architecture school. Almost immediately, he was stopping traffic on billboards modeling Calvin Klein underwear

"Among a generation who’ve shunned material possessions, Fimmel has achieved an advanced state of stoic minimalism."

Still mounted, Fimmel led me in my rental car up to his broasis, which, it quickly became clear, was actually a dilapidated 18-foot beige and white Nomad travel trailer parked permanently in the shade of a pepper tree between a water tank and the tack shed.

“Got it real cheap, over in Phelan,” says Fimmel. “Towing it back, the side panels were flapping, and the back door fell off.” The ranch belongs to longtime stunt coordinator Walter Scott. Fimmel showed up in 2010 looking for riding lessons ahead of a big-screen remake of the 1960s TV show Big Valley. Most of the work around his family’s farm was performed on ATVs, so he was a novice horseman.

“Just ask me about when I first met him,” says Scott. “He says he knew about horses—everything he learned right here, on that horse. Roping and everything. Him and another guy came. He never left.”

The film went down in flames after the director was convicted of committing tax-credit fraud on a previous project, but Fimmel stuck around the stable and now squats there when he’s not traveling. “Out here it’s just good people. No industry,” Fimmel explains. “Just the stunt boys.”

Among a generation who’ve shunned material possessions as barriers to life experience, Fimmel has achieved an advanced state of stoic minimalism. According to him, his only worldly possessions are Wanker, the Craigslist trailer (which now has air-conditioning), and a red 1982 GMC stepside pickup with a ’73 bed (which does not). Before the trailer, he lived in an old Ford Econoline with a pop-up bed.

“It got taken off me,” he says. “It wasn’t road worthy.” Unlike the cool kids who gussy up Sprinter vans and Westfalias, Fimmel only recently upgraded from a flip phone to an iPhone 4, does no social media, and rarely checks his e-mail. “I’m always getting texts asking why I’m not responding on Instagram or Facebook, and I’m like, ‘It’s not me. You’re writing to some stranger.’ ”

Fimmel helped me into the saddle, and we headed out for a hack on a trail behind the property, him riding Scott’s horse Josey. It was hot, and Wanker wanted to stop in the shade. Fimmel’s ultimate goal is to save as much money as he can and end up back in Australia on a nice spread—“with three or four wives,” he jokes, though at the moment he says of the opposite sex, “They all hate me, although it’s not for lack of trying. When you do a lot of traveling, it’s hard.”

He eats what he wants, works out only when he’s forced to, and does his drinking at the local VFW hall. But for a guy who regrets his modeling days and says he wasn’t looking to get into acting—“Still not looking to, mate”—he’s stripped away everything else. If he could, he’d spend three months studying for each of his parts. “You get sucked into it, trying to be good at it,” he says. “I wish you could make money and people never saw what you did. Then you could relax and not care about how bad you are.”

It’s the proper amount of self-hatred for an action hero who’s actually good at his craft—more Viggo Mortensen than Chris Hemsworth. He starts shooting a blockbuster bank-heist film, Finding Steve McQueen, in September, starring alongside Kate Bosworth and Forest Whitaker.

Fimmel is extraordinarily soft-spoken—introverted, even—for a guy at risk of being typecast as a barbarian. At an interview with three of his Vikings castmates at Comic-Con in July, Fimmel managed to get through the entire Q&A saying exactly zero words. But he’s only now being tested in parts with more range, like his supporting role as a bearded-hipster pickle entrepreneur in the 2016 romantic comedy Maggie’s Plan and a loving, alcoholic father in an adaptation of the horse-racing novel Lean on Pete that was shot in Oregon and wrapped this summer. On that project, he ducked out for a few days to reel in his first steelhead with a friend at the mouth of the Chehalis River.

It was nearly 100 degrees on the trail. The Blue Cut Fire had just broken out in San Bernardino, and disaster-relief crews were a constant presence on the highway. Each of the past three summers, Fimmel has escaped this kind of heat, shooting Vikings in the cold mists of Ireland. The Ragnar role even landed him an endorsement deal as the face of high-end down-jacket company Canada Goose, which photographed him earlier this year among the icebergs of Newfoundland.

Here, though, it was just really hot. We put the horses up, Fimmel hosed Wanker down, and we went for a Bud Light at the VFW. If any of the vets and bikers recognized him, they didn’t show it. This time next year, it may not be so easy.

Lead Photo: Jeff Lipsky

#polijake_fim #travis fimmel #ragnarlothbrok #ragnar lothbrok

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artreider · 3 years

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Daughter is down for the night, let's see if internet will allow me to watch and live blog the next episode.

Travis is so hurt and that just hurts me. I'm glad we are getting his backstory with Michael.

Okay so if Michael died in 2016 and it was 2009 at the start of the episode, then they were together for at least six years. So travis has been a firefighter at least 11 years at this point in the series. So what station was he at, and how did he and Michael meet. Im just curious because theo calls his buddy michael probie and then doesnt say travis name. Travis tells him name and instead of calling probie as well making me believe he had been either a firefighter for a bit longer than Michael or he is from a different station, because surely if they were all at the same station he would call him by name or maybe travis is from a different shift at the station.

I love this episode but it still left me with questions.

Also so i didnt even make it five minutes in, thanks internet let's restart it.

Also are they all in the same academy class because it sounds like it.

I'm not okay with travic being not a dynamic duo at the start, i love their friendship.

Hey look the captain has returned lol, also this sushi conversation i have had with my coworker. Leftover sushibis just wrong, fight me on this. Im glad maya agrees. Also i agree with sulluvan its from the grocery store, i dont eat my sushi from anywhere but a restaurant thats gross, and making it day old is worse.

Of course travis agrees with the sushi talk, they are truly two peas in a pod. Im surprised vic didnt ask to stay at maya and carina's for a few days.

I like theo and jack this episode.

Vic looks tripped out by travis showing her his scars lmao. Travis and this scar analogy is fantastic and makes me giggle, so dramatic.

I still dont know how i feel about these two drug addicts.

First commercial and i just want to add that the sushi scene i love, the family feel is wonderful.

Michael and travis are so cute. Also how long was theo a captain before michael died?

Listening to libby you can tell how troubled travis is by the look on his face. Its like he's thinking what if something were to happen to Hughes and we weren't in a good place.

Im glad jack came to talk to theo. It's good for them both.

Emmett you cutie. Im glad he is speaking truths to travis.

This proposal is so cute, the double proposal makes me so happy.

Travis needs to become a dad, he so wanted that future with Michael.

Its so cute that theo was there for the proposal and his best friends. Who stood up for travis at the wedding and who married michael and travis? Im headcanoning theo marrying them.

I totally get travis's feelings about theo in light of Michael's death but with how involved he was with the two i wish travis had found some way to heal with his friend sooner.

Vic trying to discuss Emmett, oh i love you.

This scene by the trees is so tough.

I bet they had so much fun shooting this even if it was difficult material.

So travis is in a apartment instead of his house with michael, howd that happen.

The things they are saying to each other are so hard. Everyone grieves differently.

Okay how long was theo a firefighter before he became captain. They were possibly in the academy in 2009, he was training for lt in 2010 and in 2012 he was put up for captain. So it seems he was on the fast track like maya. Okay he was only at lt for 6 months with may he a bit longer than maya.

Though she definitely made better decisions as captain. Also i love that ripley put up for it and ripley is who told maya to become lt and that she'd be a good captain.

Theo's joke about dying in a fire is just wrong.

Theo did make a bad call like travis worried but his being green should be a reason to find forgiveness for him.

Im glad michael stood uo for his friend. Also travis asked if it was a good idea theo being michaels captain, not ours. That further leads me to believe that travis was at a different station. I really cant shake the thought that he was at station 19 by this point for the simple fact of capt hererra saying he hand picked all of them.

Its nice that travis is finally talking to vic about his anger and sadness over michael, his grief and apologizing for his comments about ripley.

Okay so based off the past episodes for the characters, gibson and miller have been at the station longer than andy and maya and it appears travis has been as well. So that just has me questioning how long hughes has been, did we get dates when we learned how she became a firefighter, i cant remember.

Who notified travis that Michael was gone? He wasn't on scene otherwise he'd already have seen theo.

Theo was so good to own up to his mistake to the higher ups and travis.

The house vs apartment thing bothers me about station 19. Like maya's apartment always felt like a house and then we see its an apartment. Travis lived in a house with Michael and now has an apartment filled with Michael's things. Then Jack had an apartment or something in season 3 and now lives with martha and co. Then vic is basically homelessx had an apartment then jumped from friends homes. I dunno why i bothers me so, i guess it just feels so inconsistent, i dunno if that makes sense.

Ugh the ruiz and Gibson scene here is so good for them once again and im glad it helped marcus. Im sad marcus wont be a part of jacks life anymore.

Theo why did you decide to talk to vic about ripley? Not that it was a bad talk just curious what sparked it.

Travis im so proud of you, this talk here is so important for your healing. Vic i love your joke. Yay my travic is healing.

Okay so hughes was probie in 2016 after michael died. Ugh i need to know more about travis time at station 19 before during or after whatever michael died. Also when did andy and maya graduate im blanking on the year.

Travic's first scene at the station together is so lovely.

Ugh travis's phone call is so rough.

So travis cant vacation very well either, no wonder he told maya to enjoy her trip with carina in sesson 3.

The station 19 actors are so phenomenal. Such a wonderfully acted episode.

So as im sure my followers and anyone else reading this has gathered, i decided to do this live blog as one whole thing since the anon was upset by my previous posts. If you hate this and think i should go back to the other way let me know or if i should take their suggestion and creatr my own tag let me know. Basically if you are interested in my live blog please let me know what you think.

The anon has been weighing on me leading me to almost not want to finish my live blog of the series.

#station 19 #travis montgomery #michael #travis and michael #station 19 rewatch #maya bishop #robert sullivan #jack gibson #theo ruiz #victoria hughes #michael williams #andy hererra #dean miller #season 4 #episode 9

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auredosa · 4 years

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Mmm, Whatcha’ Say? - Hitman Speculation

In IO Interactive’s developer’s insight doc. about the upcoming HITMAN 3 game “The End of a Journey,” communications manager Travis Barbour states, “This is where things you didn’t realize meant something in HITMAN 1 or 2 come to the forefront.” Well, with a statement like that, how could I possibly resist making more theories?

Well, less like “theories” and more like speculations. I wanted to focus on some off-beat occurrences that took place in both HITMAN 2016 and HITMAN 2 that I just couldn’t bet as much money on as my other predictions. Think of these as mini-theories that some writer at IO might’ve planted on accident. And, of course, remember that all of this is pure speculation and is honestly a clear sign that I have a problem.

The mini-speculation for today? The writers have been dropping subtle characterization hints that Lucas Grey and Arthur Edwards have been working together, or, are at least similar enough to want to work together. I’ve already made a character-study-analysis thing for these two, but here are more, uh, “specific?” details that might help convince you.

Grey and Edwards both have the same “we’re super meticulous planners, but we’re also making this up as we go.” They’ve both got that, “We’ll deal with the ramifications of our actions when they’re staring us in the face.” They just . . . also happen to use the same words, too.

Couple that with their shared hate of the Partner, and Edwards earlier stating of the importance of “speaking the enemy’s language” . . . yeah, there’s no way this could be a coincidence.

Here’s another, admittedly less credible instance that suggests Grey and Edwards are working together. Behold, a screen shot from Edward’s spiel as you’re extracting him from the Isle of Sgail:

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twamspMO6-w

And here’s what Grey says to Edwards hours later when Edwards is being held hostage on the boat:

I say this point is a little less solid because it’s completely possible that Grey was listening to 47’s earpiece feed as 47 was extracting the Constant, and now Grey’s just mocking him. It’s super common in spy-thriller entertainment for character to quote words back to each other, so admittedly, I’m not super confident in citing the above scenes as evidence of their collaboration. But still, the back and forth banter between the two can be interpreted as a spiteful hate-fueled relationship as it can a mutual fondness between conspirators.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now! Real talk here, I think I’ve milked the “Grey and Edwards are in cahoots” cow dry. Might have to comb through the cutscenes once more for more fodder. In the mean time, I’ve got some stuff about Diana coming up, so look forward to that! Thank you so much for sitting through my crazed ramble, and remember, the enemy of your enemy is your friend.

#hitman #hitman 2 #hitman 3 #arthur edwards #lucas grey #the constant

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your-turn-to-role · 4 years

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for the cr asks: 1, 7, 19, 29

hey, thanks!

1) How did you first discover Critical Role?

uh, friends, mostly. i was one of the later people in my friend group to get into it, though i’m definitely the one who’s gotten the most obsessed with it now 😂

i have one friend who’s been following it since the really early days, like early 2016 or something? and was very into taliesin’s characters (they have a very similar aesthetic), but stopped after molly died

another friend who’s more into dnd shows just bc she really likes dnd rather than particularly for the story has also been into it for ages, and was pestering me to watch for at least a year before i actually did

(not that i didn’t think i’d like it, it just takes me forever to get into stuff bc when i get into a fandom i get super into it and then am resistant to leave it, and there’s a limit to how many characters i can hold in my brain at once, also because starting a new thing that has literally thousands of hours of content is intimidating as fuck)

but it was also just, fanart of jester on tumblr? she didn’t even end up being my fave of the m9 (though i definitely love her), but she’s 100% my aesthetic to the core, and seeing a lot of art of her around i was like “okay i wanna know who this girl is bc she seems cool”

and then about, idk, 9-10 months ago i started cr2? and fell in love with nott within about two seconds of her speaking, which made me listen long enough to fall in love with the other characters as well, and then after i caught up (which was just before ep 73 aired, i was watching it with more or less all of my free time) i watched campaign 1 in a similar fashion and here we are

7) Do you have any official CR merch?

does explorer’s guide to wildemount count? or the vox machina origins comics? bc if so, i have those (digitally anyway)

but in terms of most actual merch, no, not yet, i’m not 100% ruling it out, but i live in new zealand so shipping is a huge pain and i haven’t come across anything yet that is both within my price range and that i care enough about to pay a shit ton for shipping

(honestly, would have bought any of the dice sets, but the only one that’s been out while i’ve been in the fandom was the whitestone opalite dice and those were suuuper expensive)

(real pretty though)

19) Who’s your favorite CR cast member (Matt, Laura, etc.)?

ohhhhhh that’s so hard to choose. every time i think of any one person at least four others show up in my head like “hey what about us!”

i think i’ll just answer this by saying my favourite things about each of them

matt - really cool person. really fun storyteller. so much more of a dork when not being a DM, it’s not a side of him we get to see often but it’s one i’d love to see more of! i’m still amazed he does this every week when he’s said a couple times he hates being on camera, like... matt, how do you do that. i am a little in awe of you

travis - i love his whole approach to rping? like the whole “you have to take risks at every possible opportunity because whether it succeeds or fails, it’s always worth the chance you’ll make something amazing”. he’s highly relatable as an adhd player. also he’s said he doesn’t want to put romance stories in his dnd characters and i get very attached to characters that could be headcanoned as aro so i really appreciate that

marisha - she’s fucking badass. i am constantly in awe of her bravery to continue to play her characters really well when she gets so much hate with them. also, she’s a really good actor? i feel like no one says it enough but she really is. love all her liveshow outfits.

liam - now, i’ve been that one theatre kid who was way too obsessed with hamlet at like age 15? so like... i feel you, liam. love the places he goes with his characters. love everything about vax. love the language he uses while rping and the small little gestures he comes up with that add so much to a character, i’ve written a couple posts on it

sam - now, on one hand, sam is the cast member i relate the least to. on the other, he did make nott who i love with all my heart. i’m also just really impressed by everything he comes up with as scanlan, especially the super long ode to vax which had to be at least partially improvised/written during that episode

laura - continually dedicated to proving you can make female characters that are super detailed and full of depth while also always being down to make stupid dick jokes. really good actor. very cute and very ridiculous. also, [harp music] ~laura bailey~

taliesin - i love his dedication to being goth, queer, and colourful all at once? bc big fucking mood. love his characters, love his weirdness, love his random pockets of obscure knowledge that occasionally come up on the show and everyone’s like “how the fuck do you even know that”

ashley - is it not enough to be gay and in love with ashley johnson? but no seriously she’s super cool and also a dork and i adore her

29) What’s the most devastating CR PC defeat/death?

i mean..... it’s gotta be molly, right?

like percy’s first death and vax in the finale were both heartwrenching as fuck, but both kinda felt like they were meant to happen? percy, while he came back and i’m glad he did (which also helps make it not the most devastating), taliesin had kinda planned for that to be the end of percy, and it did tie things up in that tragic way his character archetype often goes. had that been permanent, it would have hurt, but it would have felt fitting. and vax, god, i will never be over dalen’s closet, but he had a lot of time to come to grips with his own death and that made it, more cathartic rather than just painful

but molly was just, i mean i knew it was coming before i even started watching, i tried my best not to get attached and then got attached anyway

and i really love what it did to the plot and the characters and i wouldn’t trade away caduceus now we’ve really gotten to know him

but goddamn did that have an impact

#cr thoughts #cr1 #cr2 #ask #crit role cast #mollymauk tealeaf #percy de rolo #vax'ildan #text #kaetor

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alishablogs · 3 years

Text

How YUNGBLUD cultivated his image.

Yungblud AKA Dominic Harrison has been a rising star over the last couple of years. He is a British artist from Doncaster, UK. Harrison has been making himself known to countries all over the world. In this blogpost I will explore and breakdown Yungblud’s artist image and see how he has cultivated an image and brands himself. Yungblud prides himself on being authentically himself and ‘not giving a fook’ about what other people think about it. Yungbluds entire image is built around him being a underprivileged kid from the North with bad parents lets investigate whether this is the truth or not.

So, when you think about Yungblud you probably think of a northern punk with colourful hair and pink socks. But, what do we actually know about Yungblud? Well we know that he is a 23 year old from the North of England. We also know that he has ADHD and was bullied quite badly in school for being ‘different’ to all the other children. A lot of Yungblud’s fanbase came about after his collaboration with Halsey and Travis Barker two very well known artists which brought their fan bases along to the song. After this surge in fans Harrison found himself in a little spotlight of fame from that came more collaborations with Machine Gun Kelly and even Bring Me The Horizon. Right now Yungblud’s fame is at the highest point it's ever been.

With his new found fame we can see Yungblud is becoming less afraid to try different looks in his music from wearing dresses and skirts to full faces of makeup. Although Yungblud would wear skirts for performances back in 2018 watching him express himself more and more is really great to see as he feels more accepted for who he is with his growing fanbase.

A lot of Yungblud’s music explores the themes of growing up and how difficult that is in today’s society. For example, in the song ‘Parents’ he sings the line “My daddy put a gun to my head.

Said if you kiss a boy I'm gonna shoot you dead." This lyric hits hard for the LGBTQ+ Community and with no doubt attracts a bigger fanbase with the candor and relatable experiences.

youtube

This helps Yungblud push his image off being an oddball, an outcast and a misfit. Now from what I can tell after two years of following him it seems as though Yungbluds’ parents are actually really supportive of him. As shown in the BTS video for ‘Weird’ where he calls his parents and asks them to be in his music video to which they say yes. Not something that homophobic parent’s are likley to be doing. Especially knowing he had a LGBT fanbase.

Although his songs may not always be about personal experience, I do find it interesting how someone with borderline abusive parents would be so excited to have them around. The concept of being young and hating your parents has been a persona of the punk image for a long time and it seems to be the way in which Yungblud is also building his image.

After further investigation and watching more of his videos Yungblud seems to be able to play the piano and guitar at a grade standard level. If Yungblud came from a poor northern estate with cruel parents it stands to reason that he would not be able to play instruments to such a high degree. After all, lessons and instruments cost money. Lots of it. This is demonstrated on this video with Halsey.

youtube

The final bit of evidence I have found which supports the fact his parents aren't what they're made out to be was in 2016 Yungblud appeared on Disney channels ‘The lodge’ at just 19 years old achieving something like this is quite difficult at any age but when you're that young it'd be almost impossible without acting lessons and input from your family. I do believe that Harrison is quite a genuine artist however I don't think everything he writes is true to himself.

All in all Yungblud may be from a working class family and a small town in Northern England and sometimes life may have been tough however I do not think that makes him special as a lot of people are in the same situation as him, the only difference is Yungblud now gets to profit on all them ‘hard times’ he’s faced and his fans get to carry on just living them.

Yungblud as an artist is great for every person who feels like they don't fit into a ‘normal’ society, his fans have created a space for everyone called the Black Hearts Club, this is a safe space in which anyone is welcome to be their authentic self, without the fear of judgement. This of course is great for everyone involved but is it as great if the whole ideology is built up on lies? I'm not too sure.

#yungblud #blog #blog post #image #music blog #yungbludfans #black hearts club #writing

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phroyd · 4 years

Link

Dumb-Fuck #MAGA Teens, children of Dumb-Fuck #MAGA Parents, and QTards Everywhere, resurrect #PizzaGate on Tik-Tok! - Phroyd

WASHINGTON — Four minutes into a video that was posted on Instagram last month, Justin Bieber leaned into the camera and adjusted the front of his black knit beanie. For some of his 130 million followers, it was a signal.

In the video, someone had posted a comment asking Mr. Bieber to touch his hat if he had been a victim of a child-trafficking ring known as PizzaGate. Thousands of comments were flooding in, and there was no evidence that Mr. Bieber had seen that message. But the pop star’s innocuous gesture set off a flurry of online activity, which highlighted the resurgence of one of social media’s early conspiracy theories.

Viewers quickly uploaded hundreds of videos online analyzing Mr. Bieber’s action. The videos were translated into Spanish, Portuguese and other languages, amassing millions of views. Fans then left thousands of comments on Mr. Bieber’s social media posts asking him if he was safe. Within days, searches for “Justin and PizzaGate” soared on Google, and the hashtag #savebieber started trending.

Four years ago, ahead of the 2016 presidential election, the baseless notion that Hillary Clinton and Democratic elites were running a child sex-trafficking ring out of a Washington pizzeria spread across the internet, illustrating how a crackpot idea with no truth to it could blossom on social media — and how dangerous it could be. In December 2016, a vigilante gunman showed up at the restaurant with an assault rifle and opened fire into a closet.

In the years afterward, Facebook, Twitter and YouTube managed to largely suppress PizzaGate. But now, just months before the next presidential election, the conspiracy theory is making a comeback on these platforms — and on new ones such as TikTok — underlining the limits of their efforts to stamp out dangerous speech online and how little has changed despite rising public frustration.

This time, PizzaGate is being fueled by a younger generation that is active on TikTok, which was in its infancy four years ago, as well as on other social media platforms. The conspiracy group QAnon is also promoting PizzaGate in private Facebook groups and creating easy-to-share memes on it.

Driven by these new elements, the theory has morphed. PizzaGate no longer focuses on Mrs. Clinton and has taken on less of a political bent. Its new targets and victims are a broader assortment of powerful businesspeople, politicians and celebrities, including Mr. Bieber, Bill Gates, Ellen DeGeneres, Oprah Winfrey and Chrissy Teigen, who are lumped together as part of the global elite. For groups like QAnon, PizzaGate has become a convenient way to foment discontent.

The theory has also gone global. While it previously found traction mainly in the United States, videos and posts about it have racked up millions of views in Italy, Brazil and Turkey.

“PizzaGate never went away because it encompasses very potent forces,” including children’s safety and the power of elites, said Alice Marwick, a disinformation expert at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. “But now there is so much scaffolding from people who have researched it, it wasn’t hard for others to pick up from there.”

PizzaGate is reaching a level that nearly exceeds its 2016 fever pitch, according to an analysis by The New York Times. TikTok posts with the #PizzaGate hashtag have been viewed more than 82 million times in recent months. Google searches for PizzaGate have skyrocketed.

In the first week of June, comments, likes and shares of PizzaGate also spiked to more than 800,000 on Facebook and nearly 600,000 on Instagram, according to data from CrowdTangle, a Facebook-owned tool for analyzing social interactions. That compares with 512,000 interactions on Facebook and 93,000 on Instagram during the first week of December 2016. From the start of 2017 through January this year, the average number of weekly PizzaGate mentions, likes and shares on Facebook and Instagram was under 20,000, according to The Times’s analysis.

The conspiracy has regained momentum even as its original targets — Mrs. Clinton, her top aides and a Washington pizzeria, Comet Ping Pong — are still dealing with the fallout.

Hateful comments have recently surged on the Facebook page and Yelp and Google review pages for Comet Ping Pong, where the child trafficking supposedly happened. The pizzeria’s owner, James Alefantis, said he had received fresh death threats that caused the Federal Bureau of Investigation to open a new investigation two months ago. The F.B.I. said Friday that it could not confirm the existence of an investigation.

“There are no real options for someone like me. I don’t have the names or numbers for people to call at Google or TikTok,” Mr. Alefantis said. “But I don’t want to be that person who lives their life in fear.”

PizzaGate was born in 2016 in online forums like 4chan and Reddit, where right-wing users and supporters of Donald J. Trump pored over hacked emails from John D. Podesta, Mrs. Clinton’s senior campaign adviser, looking for evidence of wrongdoing. Some emails referring to Mr. Podesta’s dinner plans mentioned pizza. A 4chan participant then connected the phrase “cheese pizza” to pedophiles, who on chat boards use the initials “c.p.” to denote child pornography.

Mr. Alefantis, who is friends with Mr. Podesta’s brother, Tony, was mentioned in several of the emails. That led internet users to connect his pizza parlor to their conspiracy.

The theory soon appeared in bogus publications like The Vigilant Citizen and The New Nationalist on Facebook and Instagram. On Twitter and YouTube, other users amplified the content.

Fact checkers debunked the idea. But weeks after the November 2016 election, Edgar M. Welch, 32, a North Carolina resident, drove six hours to Comet Ping Pong to free what he believed were enslaved children. He shot several rounds from a military-style assault rifle into a locked closet door of the pizzeria and eventually surrendered to the police. In 2017, he was sentenced to four years in prison.

Soon after, YouTube, Twitter and Facebook suspended the accounts of users who had pushed PizzaGate and took down hundreds of related posts.

To keep PizzaGate tamped down, the social media companies took other steps. Facebook made it impossible to search for hashtags such as #pizzagateisreal. On YouTube, searching for #pizzagate brought up a label that explained the term was part of a false conspiracy. Twitter also stopped #pizzagate from surfacing in its trending topics in the United States.

A documentary promoting PizzaGate, “Out of Shadows,” made by a former Hollywood stuntman, was released on YouTube that month and passed around the QAnon community. In May, the idea that Mr. Bieber was connected to the conspiracy surfaced. Teenagers on TikTok began promoting both, as reported earlier by The Daily Beast.

A week ago, Rachel McNear, 20, watched “Out of Shadows,” which has garnered 15 million views on YouTube. She then turned to Twitter, where she came across Mr. Bieber’s supposed association with PizzaGate. After reading more on Instagram, YouTube and Facebook, she created a one-minute description of her research on the topic and posted it to TikTok on Monday.

“The mainstream media uses words like conspiracy theory and how it is debunked but I’m seeing the research,” Ms. McNear, of Timonium, Md., said in an interview.

Her video was taken down on Wednesday when TikTok removed the #PizzaGate hashtag and all content searchable with the term. A TikTok spokeswoman said such content violated its guidelines.

That same day, Facebook also expunged PizzaGate-related comments under Comet Ping Pong’s page after a call from The Times.

YouTube said it had long demoted PizzaGate-related videos and removes them from its recommendation engine, including “Out of Shadows.” Twitter said it constantly eliminates PizzaGate posts and had updated its child sexual-exploitation policy to prevent harm from the conspiracy. Facebook said it had created new policies, teams and tools to prevent falsehoods like PizzaGate from spreading.

Teenagers and young adults, many of whom are just forming political beliefs, are particularly susceptible to PizzaGate, said Travis View, a researcher and host of the “QAnon Anonymous” podcast, which examines conspiracy theories. They are drawn to celebrity photos on tabloid sites and Hollywood blogs to uncover PizzaGate’s supposed secret symbols and clues, he said. Even a triangle — which can signify a slice of pizza — can be taken as proof that a celebrity is part of a secret elite cabal.

“It all becomes a game, and people are drawn in because it feels participatory,” Mr. View said.

For Tony Podesta, John Podesta’s brother, PizzaGate’s revival has opened up old wounds. He had dealt with trolling from conspiracy believers in 2016. Recently, he got a voice mail message from an anonymous caller saying, “Your pizza is ready.”

“It just doesn’t go away,” Mr. Podesta said. “They are always three steps ahead of the sheriff.”

#qtards #magamorons #pizzagate #tiktok

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futuresmashmemes · 4 years

Note

You're called Future Smash memes-- can you see into the future of my universe? We just had 6 more character slots announced for our game, meaning there are 6 we dont know who they'll be! Do you have any insight? Or at least a prediction o'wise one?

Hmm. You know, I’ve been told that your timeline is the “main” one, and therefore is very tricky to predict and deal with. It may not be much, but I guess I’ll give my two cents on who I think the final six DLC slots for this timeline will be.

First of all, it’s important to remember that these choices were made by Nintendo, not Sakurai. I think that’s the reason why we got Sans and Cuphead miis in this timeline rather than full on fighters: for one reason or another, Nintendo didn’t want them (or at least, didn’t want them as much as the chosen fighters). Sakurai has said that he’s an avid fan of Undertale and Cuphead, so this makes sense. Then again, he’s also an avid Persona fan and I still don’t get why Nintendo would’ve chosen it of all franchises. Don’t get me wrong, Persona looks great and all (never played it myself), but it’s not very…Nintendo, y’know?

With that in mind, I think it’s safe to say that we won’t be getting an indie rep. Nintendo currently doesn’t seem to be very open to the idea of full on indie reps, so that means that characters like Hat Kid probably won’t get in (maybe as a mii costume, though aHiT isn’t as well known for its music as undertale and cuphead are, so I don’t think it would be a deluxe costume). Really, the only indie reps I see getting in are either Reimu or (as much as I hate to say it) Steve. Touhou is the poster child for popular indie projects, even if it isn’t as big over here as it is in Japan. ZUN is also open to the idea of Reimu in smash. The main things that go against Reimu is the fact that she isn’t very well known outside of Japan (and those who do know her often associate her with loli culture, which might be a problem) and because the way the franchise is set up, legalities with Touhou would either be really easy or really, really hard. Steve, on the other hand, has sort of transcended being an indie character. Minecraft recently overtook Tetris as the best selling game of all time, and has become a household name around the world. Maybe I’m just projecting (I’m probably the only person from my generation that doesn’t like Minecraft), but I don’t think Steve is getting in either. First of all, legality with Microsoft would probably be an issue as they would certainly demand more money for Steve than Banjo, who, while a treasured character worthy of his spot, comes from a dead IP who wasn’t had a new game since 2008. Also, similar to former best seller Tetris, I just don’t think that Minecraft’s blocky, pixelated art style and rigid player animations would be a good fit for smash. Again, totally me projecting, but that’s just what I think. I do expect to get Steve over mii swordfighter, though. That makes sense.

Now with my little indie rant out of the way, I’ll do a bullet-point list for characters that I’ve posted memes about on the blog before and what I think of their chances of getting in:

First of all, I think it’s obvious that Raz isn’t going to be one of the DLC characters. Yes, Psychonauts 2 is coming out later this year and the first game is one of my favorite video games of all time and he would fit in perfectly, but let’s be real. The franchise is a cult classic that has never been released on a Nintendo system in any way and probably sold horribly in Japan. Double Fine was also recently bought out by Microsoft which really killed any small chance he had of making it in. Sir Daniel is in a similar position

First/second party characters like Bandana Dee and Impa I think are deconfirmed because most of them are represented by Spirits, and I don’t think that they would “double dip.” And because of the scope of spirits mode, I think it’s unlikely that we’ll get any older characters from prexisting franchises (I say older so people won’t hound me with “WELL BYLETH GOT IN SO”).

We are not getting another FE rep lol. Rip red head merchant waifu.

Shooter characters are in a really weird spot since these games tend to not be made for kids (it’s easy to forget in all the hype and speculation that smash is first and foremost meant for kids), yet have made such a big cultural impact on the gaming scene that it’s hard to deny their “worthiness” to be in smash. Master Chief in particular is tricky to place since I definitely think he has much more character than most other shooter reps (cough cough Doomguy) and could have a more varied moveset than just “gun.” But that being said, he’s once again a character owned by Microsoft and comes from a franchise that up until very recently was Xbox exclusive and (as far as I’m aware, has never been released on a Nintendo system). It’s also important to remember that the original Xbox sold miserably in Japan, so I doubt that he’s getting in either.

On a similar note, I’ve seen people throw around ideas for a TF2 rep. This makes a lot more sense to me than Halo or Doom; the playable characters have much more personality and the cartoony aesthetic of the game fits in way better than most other shooters (cough cough Doom). I don’t know which character would be chosen though. Heavy probably? I think their main problem is that Valve would probably be picky about licensing and whatnot (I don’t think we’d be getting Gordon Freeman or Chell for the same reason). Additionally, I struggle to imagine TF2 without it’s signature dark humor which would most likely be cut for smash

Due to recent events, I do not think we will be getting an Overwatch or any other Blizzard rep.

If there’s one character I’d be willing to bet money on getting in, it’s Crash. While he’s never really been all that popular in Japan, it just feels right to me. He fits in perfectly, he has some history with Nintendo (even if he is more synonymous with PlayStation), and I mean…he just feels right. I know that sounds shitty after having just denied a bunch of other characters in an articulate manner, but I don’t know what else to say. I’m not even that big of a Crash fan. The only thing I can see hurting his chances is Activision potentially asking for money than Nintendo is willing to give (this is why he didn’t get into Pl’ystation Allst’rs)

Similarly, I think Spyro has a good chance of getting into smash, but not as well as Crash. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but I always thought that Crash just had more of a cultural impact than Spyro did. I do think Spyro has a good chance of getting in though. Maybe some Skylanders/amiibo crosspromotion? Probably not.

Given how stingy they were with Hero (when compared to other DLC reps) and _especially _Cloud, I don’t think we’re getting another Square Enix rep, be it Sephiroth, a Black Mage, or Geno. That being said, it could’ve all been a long con and the FF7 remake will release alongside Sephiroth DLC with the actual fucking spirit battles that we should’ve gotten. Probably not though.

Dante I think has a pretty good chance at getting in. I think that he stands at a similar position to Bayonetta when it comes to censorship, so I think he could work. God knows that he would be broken if he did get in though.

I’ve been a big advocate for a Puyo Puyo rep in smash, and if we were to get one I think it would be Arle (maybe with other characters on her alts like Koopalings/Heroes). People have already theorized how her moveset could work, and I agree with that speculation wholeheartedly. Puyo Puyo unfortunately isn’t very well known outside of Japan since in the past it was usually released under a different brand (Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine, Kirby Avalanche, etc). I do think that we absolutely need more puzzle reps than fucking Doctor Mario though, and Puyo Puyo seems perfect.

Professor Layton has unfortunately not had a new game in a long time (at least not one where he has a staring role), and outside of his swordsmanship, which is seen very rarely throughout the series, I don’t think that there’s much of a moveset to be made for him.

I love Ace Attorney, but I don’t think that Phoenix Wright is getting in. I don’t think that Sakurai would realistically just copy and paste his MvC3 moveset to smash and I don’t know what else you could do with him. Also, we haven’t gotten a new international release for Ace Attorney since 2016.

I know next to nothing about No More Heroes but I know a couple of people who will have a fit if I don’t mention Travis. I know there’s a sequel on the horizon but similar to Psychonauts, I don’t see it really happening. It feels to much like a cult classic to me. Once again, I know next to nothing about No More Heroes, so take that with a grain of salt.

I don’t think that any assist trophy characters will be “promoted” to playable through DLC.

And that’s about it. I know that sounded really pessimistic, but that’s honestly because I haven’t the foggiest idea about who’s going to get in. Everyone I want in in this timeline is either an assist trophy/spirit or a niche western/indie pick that I doubt has a chance. That sucks, but it’s just life. As long as we don’t get Goku or Fortnite though, I’ll be happy with whoever.

#ask #futuresmashmemes #I wrote this instead of writing my mid term

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myheartmightexplode · 4 years

Text

Fold Your Hands

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/7761835.

Published: 2016-08-13 Words: 6602

Summary

D/s kind-of-AU where Travie's a dom, Bill switches but mostly subs, and Gabe kids himself that he's a dom with no interest in subbing. Naturally, Travie has a bad day, Gabe lets Travie spank him for some stress relief, and all that goes out the window.

Or: Gabe thinks he's a dom... but what happens next will leave you in awe. *link to clickbait article here*

They have an understanding.

Travie, Gabe, and Bill have been together for a couple years now, and they’ve mostly got the kinks worked out. Kinks, of course, is meant literally. It started with orgasm denial and handcuffs, which was easy shit. They figured out fast that they were into a lot more than that, and slowly but surely came safewords and ball gags and, one memorable occasion, a flogger. Most of the time, they stick with orders and bondage.

Travie is a protector, a carer, a “you’ll take what I give you and thank me for it” kind of guy. That’s not a bad thing, because no one takes care of Gabe and Will the way Travie does. They both need it sometimes, even if between them Bill is the only real sub. Gabe is kind of dominant, but more neutral – he enjoys the games but not the lifestyle, whereas Travie sticks to his guns in all situations. It’s not that Gabe doesn’t want to do it more often, but it makes him itch a little, for all that he insists on loving it. He’s still a dom.

Bill is a little more complicated. He subs, sure, and really enjoys doing it. He also likes to push people, to play with them and find out what makes them tick. Domination is good for that, but Gabe won’t sub and Travie doesn’t enjoy it much, so he pushes from a submissive position and that’s just as good. Bill can do either, and he doesn’t mind just doing one most of the time.

It’s worked itself out. Travie and Gabe dom Bill, and Bill subs for Travie and Gabe, and every now and again they try to convince Gabe to try subbing, because he’s the only one of them who hasn’t. He’s just not wired that way – he’s not as dominant as Travie, sure, but he’s a dom, through and through. Subbing freaks him out. It’s not that he thinks it’s below him, but it involves a lot of trust and vulnerability and while Gabe trusts them with his life, he doesn’t do vulnerability well. It’s okay. Travie and Bill love Gabe, and Gabe loves them both so much, so it works.

They have an understanding, and it works.

Gabe is a dom, and he’s a good one at that. He likes to be in control, and really he’s so bossy it’s no surprise. It suits him to dom Bill and to fool around with Travie. Travie doesn’t mind bottoming, and they have fun together. He knows that Travie would prefer to top him, but letting Travie top him makes him feel like he’s subbing, and then he just panics. Travie assures him that he likes it the way they do it, even if it’s not what he usually goes for.

There’s always a little cajoling, because Gabe has never actually let Travie dom him. Or Bill, for that matter, because he can be just as dominant if he’s in the mindspace for it. It’s not that Gabe doesn’t understand the appeal. He’s watched Bill go under, and Bill is really beautiful in subspace. He’s really beautiful when he’s letting Travie take care of him. It’s not about hating subs, or thinking it beneath him. Gabe’s just not a sub.

“You’d like it, you know,” Bill says absently, head laying in Travie’s lap, letting him pet his hair one handed.

“If you’d just let go and let us try it...” Travie adds, pretending he’s mostly paying attention to his book.

But Gabe isn’t a sub. He’s cocky and in charge and makes his own rules. That’s how he likes it, how he’s always done it, and he won’t be convinced otherwise. He’s not the kind of dom to do it 24/7, but he likes dominating. He’s good at it. Their relationship seems a little uneven to the outsider, but BDSM is not the entirety of their interactions, and so it’s not a big deal.

It’s fine.

It’s fine, until it’s not.

Travie is the kind of dom to get his own release and frustration from being in charge of a situation

for a little bit. When he’s had a bad day, it helps him to release a little of the day’s stress in a controlled situation. Usually, he spanks Bill. Bill really likes it, and Travie never makes it a punishment. It’s just something he likes that helps him relax.

Naturally, one day, Travie comes home from a meeting with the record label nearly vibrating with frustration and Bill is having a late writing session at Carden’s.

Gabe hates watching Travie like this. He’s got a permanent crease in his forehead, a permanent frown, permanent tension in his shoulders. He looks like he needs a 3-day nap, which he won’t take, or a good session with Bill’s ass, which won’t happen until Bill gets back in several hours.

Gabe has never been spanked – not since he was very young, and that was his parents. He knows the situation isn’t actually life-or-death, but for a moment he feels vulnerable and lacking because what kind of boyfriend is he if he can’t do this for Travie? Even if it’s not his thing – which he doesn’t know, but it most likely won’t be, and it won’t have the same effect it does for Bill – he can put up with it for Travie.

Travie is lounging on the couch, eyes shut, one hand massaging his temple. Gabe stands in front of him, hands on his hips, a little grumpy but mostly determined.

“I want you to spank me,” he says. Travie, to his credit, doesn’t startle or anything, but he does look a little dubious. “No, hey. I mean. I want to do this for you.” It’s honest, but Gabe’s still internally cringing a little.

“You don’t like subbing,” Travie says. The unspoken not that you’ve ever tried it is ignored.

“I’m just not a sub,” Gabe tells him, rolling his eyes. “But I am a good boyfriend, and I know what you need to chill out. Come beat my ass for a bit, it’ll be great. It’s a good ass. You can even fuck it when you’re done, if you want.” It’s been awhile since he let Travie fuck him, and he thinks it’ll be good. Get the subbing shit out the way so when Travie fucks him, he’ll just be able to enjoy the good sex.

“You sure about this?” Travie asks, but he’s already sitting up, eyes a little brighter. Hopeful. He’s still tense, but Gabe knows how to fix that.

He makes sure Travie watches him roll his eyes for the second time. “Yes, dude. Do you need an engraved invitation?”

“Could engrave something,” Travie mutters, and it doesn’t make much sense but Gabe gets the spirit of it. Gabe leads him to the bedroom smugly, and sits on the edge of their bed. He pats the space next to him, but when Travie sits down he raises an eyebrow at Gabe, who sighs and stands up. Right. He’s playing sub.

“How do you want me?” he asks, a little impatient to get it over with so he’ll stop feeling slightly uncomfortable and uncertain.

Travie examines his expression for a minute, and then appraises his clothing. Gabe’s wearing a pair of gym shorts and that’s it. Travie apparently has no complaints, because finally he just says, “I want you to lay over my lap, on the bed.” He scoots back so there will be room, and when Gabe gets into position, he rests his hips on Travie’s right leg, stomach propped up on his left, and rests his head in his arms.

“This feels kind of ridiculous,” he mutters, already a little less enthusiastic to help, but he doesn’t pull away. This really is the first time he’s ever let himself get close to subbing, and it feels weird.

Mostly, he feels bored.

“You’ll get over it,” Travie tells him patiently, and already he sounds a little calmer.

Then, Travie hits him for the first time. It’s soft, just a warm up, and Gabe debates yawning dramatically. He didn’t suggest this just so he could be a dick, though, and doesn’t.

“Still okay?” Travie asks. Gabe snorts in response.

“Kind of tickles,” he says, just a hint of challenge in his voice. Mostly, he’s just rolling his eyes some more. It was barely a tap; how easily did he think Gabe spooked?

Travie hums innocently, and then his hand comes down again, harder - not too much so, but enough that it feels different, that something settles in Gabe’s chest differently. He frowns, finally shutting up. “I’m going to go with twenty, for now,” Travie tells him. “Then we can reassess if you feel okay with this.” He usually starts with at least thirty for Bill, Gabe thinks, disgruntled.

Travie smacks him again before he can respond, and he scratches at his arm a little absently. He feels weird, and doesn’t know if he wants to continue, but he also doesn’t want to back down. Travie needs it, he tells himself, and settles again. Three down, seventeen to go.

Travie hits him again, harder, and Gabe bites his lip. His ass stings a little. He realises his hands are beginning to tremble a little bit. It’s weird, to just lay here and take it. He squirms just a little bit. Sometimes, Travie tells Bill to count, and Gabe thinks that would be okay - it would give him something to do other than lay there. He doesn’t say anything though, just wets his lips a little. When Travie hits him again, he mouths “five,” into their bedspread.

“What was that?” Travie asks before he spanks him again, and Gabe runs his tongue over his lower lip. Apparently he was a little louder than he thought he was.

“I was counting,” he says clearly, taking care to enunciate, because he’s feeling a little weird and his mouth is a little slow. After a pause - too long of one - he adds, “Better than lyin’ here bored.”

Travie snorts a little, but it sounds like laughter. “Sure, Gabey. Count all you want. If I’da known you wanted to, I would have told you to in the first place.” Something about that seems off to Gabe, but he doesn’t bother to turn his suspicious look on Travie. He just glares at the wall, hating feeling like he’s the butt of a joke.

It doesn’t stop him from saying six when Travie finally lays another blow to his ass, a little harder than the others. His breath hitches with it.

Seven, eight, and nine come through in quick order, and by the end of it Gabe’s unsure of how he’s feeling. The weirdness is still there, but it makes him loose and pliant, his head quiet. He’d tried to think of some snarky thing to say to ease the mood, and hadn’t been able to.

Ten takes him by surprise, because it actually jolts him a bit. “ Ten ,” he manages, and he can tell that ten had Travie’s full strength behind it. Surprisingly, he doesn’t actually want to get away from it.

“ Eleven .” The next one is also hard, and he startles even himself by instinctively pushing his ass back into Travie’s hand, the warmth of his probably red ass covered by Travie’s touch. He’s distantly aware that he’s hard, that he’d been kind of hard at the beginning but that’d just been because of the closeness. He likes being close to Travie, he thinks to himself.

Twelve makes him cry out, rubbing his cheek into their comforter. He’d shifted slightly between

eleven and twelve, stretching his arms out to grip at the side of the bed with one hand and the end of it with the other.

“Number, baby,” Travie tells him, and Gabe wants to snap at him for the cooing voice - the one he uses on Bill when Bill’s soft and out of it.

Instead, he just says, “twelve,” in a distracted tone.

“Good,” Travie says lowly, and follows it immediately with thirteen.

One of the two makes Gabe feel some kind of way, but he can only whine a little and say “thirteen.” He’s breathless, and his hips twitch slightly. His cock rubs against Travie’s thigh, and he gasps and does it again.

Smack . “Fourteen,” he says. His voice is weirdly high, like he can’t get enough air.

“Keep your hips still, babyboy,” Travie warns him. “You ain’t coming yet.” He knows, vaguely, that the whining sound is him, but he ignores it and focuses on keeping his hips still like Travie told him to. Travie gives him fifteen, and then the second Gabe calls it, gives him sixteen right away. He hears the sound of a door opening, but doesn’t look away from the comforter. It feels kind of wet, but he doesn’t stop rubbing his face against it. It’s still soft.

There’s a voice that Gabe doesn’t pay attention to, and then Travie says, “We thought you’d be out late, so Gabe took one for the team. See?”

Then he hits Gabe again, and Gabe whimpers seventeen without thought. Somebody runs a hand through his messy curls, and then slides a hand between his cheek and the comforter to turn his head. He meets Bill’s eyes.

“Pretty boy,” Bill whispers, and Gabe makes a little sound against his will. “Look at you.”

Travie hits him. “Eighteen,” he says, voice far away, directly into Bill’s face. He gets a little peck on the cheek for his efforts. His ass is stinging - it hurts so badly. He wants nineteen. He wants Bill to kiss him again.

“Can I count for him?” Bill asks Travie. Gabe doesn’t know what it means. “You have a better idea for his mouth?”

Bill must say something in the affirmative, because when Gabe gasps at the sharp feeling of the next blow, Bill says “nineteen” for him, and slides two fingers over his lips, presses them over his tongue.

He hadn’t made the active decision that this was good, but it gets better somehow with Bill’s fingers in his mouth. He sucks on them, gently, and makes little gasping sounds around them as Travie rubs over his ass with his hand.

He’s still rubbing, Gabe relaxed and melted over his lap, when out of nowhere his hand whips away and lays the last blow. He shrieks - he hadn’t believed Travie could hit him harder, but he could, and Gabe can’t stop himself from pressing his cock into Travie’s thigh, from wanting.

“Twenty,” Bill murmurs, and Travie must give some indication that he’s done because Bill says, “That’s it? He can take more.” He looks back at Gabe, who’s letting Bill hold his mouth open with fingers pressing down on his tongue. He’s drooling a little, he thinks. He’s definitely crying. He has been for the past five blows.

“He promised me a lil something else,” Travie says, and Bill slowly grins at Gabe.

“Oh, you were gonna be so good for Travie today, weren’t you?” Bill said softly. His wording makes Gabe’s chest feel a little tight, but he’s still floating . He can’t ground himself enough to figure out why Bill’s tone, why his words, are familiar and different. The way he’s talking to Gabe is weird, he thinks, but it also makes him that much more desperate for someone to just touch him. He’s got to be leaking through his shorts. “Gonna take care of him.” He takes his fingers out of Gabe’s mouth. “Weren’t you, Gabey?”

They don’t usually call him Gabey. He doesn’t comment on it. “Had a bad’ay,” Gabe mumbled, mouth not working properly. “Wanna ‘elp.”

“Yeah,” Travie rumbled lowly. “You’re helping, babyboy.” He rubs his cock against Travie’s thigh again, and gurgles when Travie slaps his ass lightly again. “What did I say?”

He whines, but Bill just chuckles a little. “Travie,” he says plaintively. Instead of responding, Travie pulls him up, until he’s sitting back on his ass. His heels dig in and he feels like he’s on fire. He can barely sit up by himself, which might have something do with why Bill went with him, why Bill is holding him up. Travie slides off the bed, and Gabe watches him, slumped against Bill. Travie strips, taking his shirt off and sliding his jeans down his legs. He drops his briefs, too, and Gabe thinks for a second about how gorgeous Travie is.

“Help me get his shorts off, yeah, Bilvy boy?” Travie asks, and Gabe somehow winds up lying on his back on the bed. His shorts are stripped off, making him arch when the waistband slides over his cock.

“Face down,” Travie says to Bill, which apparently makes sense to him, because he rolls Gabe over. Gabe returns to rubbing his face against the comforter, aware of Travie’s large hands spreading his thighs but unable to comprehend why.

Bill gets off the bed for a second, and when he comes back he hands something to Travie. He hears a cap, acknowledges it as lube, and still doesn’t connect the goings on until two of Travie’s long, large fingers are rubbing over his hole.

He gasps against the comforter and presses his ass backwards again, enjoying the friction against his cock. He remembers offering a fuck, and for the life of him he can’t remember why he wouldn’t always want that. Having Travie behind him, between his legs, is a revelation. He’s had this before, he knows, but he doesn’t remember being quite so gone on it.

Travie has no problem sinking two fingers into his ass, and Gabe groans at the feeling, pushing back.

“Gabey, if you can’t stay still, I’ll make Bill hold you down so you can’t move,” Travie warns him. He’s suddenly aware of Bill at his side, petting his hair and running a hand down his smooth, slightly sweaty back. Gabe suddenly misses Bill’s fingers in his mouth with a vengeance. Half of him wants that, likes the idea of Bill holding him down, but instead of saying that, he just turns his head so he can look at Bill and opens his mouth pitifully, kissing messily at his fingers when they brush over his cheek and mouth. He catches one, sucks the tip of it, and Bill’s mouth curves into a mischievous, pleased smile.

Travie’s fingers twist, pressing particularly hard against his prostate, and he has to fight to keep his hips from rolling. He wants to come so badly, and yet at the same time he can’t quite focus on it. The need is there, but less important. He’s been distracted by Bill’s fingers.

Travie is not gentle about fingerfucking him, and frankly he doesn’t need to be. Gabe doesn’t like bottoming for Travie for reasons he can’t remember now, but he’s bottomed for Bill plenty, just without BDSM play. Bill’s not exactly small, and Gabe likes fingering anyway. No one does it quite like Travie, though - he just goes for it, plunging his fingers in and out, pressing and twisting and fucking owning Gabe. Travie takes pleasure in the prep, really loves doing it. He’s been known to do this, just this, to Bill until he ruined him.

Travie takes his time, but he does move on with a third finger that makes Gabe glad he’s lying down because his thighs are trembling. He wouldn’t be able to keep himself upright on his legs the way they are now.

Finally, finally , Travie pulls his fingers out. The moment of emptiness makes Gabe uncomfortable, makes him desperate and hollow and suddenly lost, but it doesn’t last for long.

The three of them stopped using condoms a long time ago; they’ve been together so long it was just a waste. Besides, Travie likes getting them messy; easy clean up ruins that.

Gabe listens to the wet, slippery sounds of Travie wrapping a lubed hand around his dick, and after what seems like an age, Travie finally presses inside of him, so slowly, he actually cries more. It’s overwhelming is what it is, and Gabe has never been happier to be out of his depth.

“That good, babyboy?” Travie hums, leaning over his body so he’s close to Gabe’s ear. Travie has called him babyboy since they’d met, and yet it makes him shiver. Travie makes a pleased sound, and pulls out just far enough to slam back in. Gabe rocks forward, yelping, not quite able to control the sounds he’s making. “You always pretend you don’t like this, but I see through you. You like it too much, huh?”

Gabe whimpers, and part of him wants to choke the sound back down. He’d been flushed with arousal for a while, but now the pink in his cheeks is from embarrassment. It would be a lie to say it doesn’t get him even more desperate. “Travie,” he manages to say, but he doesn’t really have anything to say. He doesn’t know how to reply.

All of these emotions - the embarrassment, the confusion, the need - are distant. His body is like a cloud, the pleasure filtering through every time Travie grinds against his prostate. It’s good, so good, and the clearest he’s ever felt. It’s like he’s being purified. He can’t think properly, can’t really move. He just lies there, moaning and whimpering and shaking.

Being fucked has never felt like this. Maybe it’s him, because he doesn’t remember ever being so into it, ever being unable to control the roll of his hips with every thrust. It’s like all the messy shit in his head has filtered out and all he can feel is Travie and Bill. Having their hands on him is like being blessed.

There’s a joke in there somewhere about The Church of Hot Addiction, but he can’t think straight enough to parse it out.

“I knew you’d be so good if you let yourself,” Bill tells him, calm and cool while he watches Travie take him apart. He looks sly, calculating. “You’re so good, Gabe. You’re doing so well.” It’s the first direct compliment, and something inside of him recognizes it as what it is. It’s praise. Travie uses that kind of language with Bill all the time, tells him how well he’s doing, how good he’s being. Gabe has always thought it was kind of silly; Bill’s not a little kid. He doesn’t need to be talked to like that.

He’s wrong. He needs it, he gets it - his ahhh is just that much louder on Travie’s next thrust, his cheeks hot with it. He’s so hard, and Bill says he’s doing good so he’s got to be doing good. He

was good for Travie, and that’s all he wanted in the first place, wasn’t it?

“My good little bottom boy,” Travie says in a tone the same kind of sly as Bill’s expression, and Gabe’s cock jerks. He buries his head back in the comforter, completely hides his face, and pretends that he can’t be seen. This is so much, too much for him. “You wanna do this all the time, Gabey? Take me all the time, just like this. You can. You can have me inside you all you want.”

There’s an amused sound when Gabe clenches down on Travie’s cock, when his stomach turns hot and tight. He’s so close.

“Plug you up when I’m not there,” Travie adds, and Gabe can hear Bill’s breathing. Now that he’s tuned into it, he can hear the sound of Bill fisting his cock. God. Gabe licks his lips, and the comforter by extension since he’s still pressing his face into it.

“What’cha want, Gabey?” Travie asks him, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. He turns his head to the side, sucks in a huge gulp of air.

He answers without thinking. “I wan’ you,” he gasps, and as if that’s the right answer, Travie rolls his hips, presses his cock into Gabe’s prostate, and reaches around to stroke him just once.

Gabe has never come so hard before in his life.

Travie finishes in a handful of thrusts, pressing messy kisses to his shoulder and back, and when they’re done Bill makes a soft sound and comes himself, aiming for Gabe’s face. He can’t even react except to close his eyes and lick his lips. Bill’s come is probably in his hair. Instead of thinking about cleanup, he lays there in a daze and lets Travie get him water while Bill runs his fingers through Gabe’s hair, smearing in the come.

It’s not until Bill and Travie bring him back up with soft touches and assurances of how well he did that he realizes what has happened.

Gabe doesn’t let Travie touch him for a week, until his ass has stopped aching every time he sits down, until he can look at him without feeling longing so strong it steals his breath.

He thinks to himself that there’s a reason he never subbed. It was a fluke, and not his thing, and now he feels embarrassed and confused. He doesn’t push Travie away entirely - he kisses him before he leaves the house and says “I love you” before he hangs up the phone. He just won’t let Travie cuddle him during films, or spoon him in bed. He lays with Bill between them and presses his dick against Bill’s ass with no real intention to do anything like that’ll make up for the sincerely mind blowing dicking he whined through days before.

Eventually, he calms down, and while he’s still a little uncomfortable, he doesn’t like staying away from Travie. He still frowns every time he lets Travie hold him and he starts getting that feeling of complacency, like he doesn’t have to do anything except listen to Travie and relax. It’s not normal relaxation - he wants to completely melt, to let Travie carry him places (which is ridiculous, because they’re both insanely tall and their appartment isn’t that big. He wants Bill to hold him down, to tell him he’s good. He wants Bill to pet his hair, and he wants to let them both do whatever they want with him.

Whatever. It’s not happening again.

Gabe won’t bottom for either of them, because it’s just one step closer to the night he let Travie spank him. Instead, he fucks Bill and makes out with Travie but keeps his hands firmly above the belt.

Bill knows that Gabe is having a hard time accepting what he wants. He’s so cocky, and he likes to think he’s in charge of things. He’s always been the man with the plan, who ropes other people into his shenanigans. Bill gets why it’s weird for Gabe to realize that he wants to sub for them.

The thing is, Bill also wants to dom Gabe. He always has, a little bit - it’s always the overconfident ones that make the prettiest subs, really, and Gabe is so gorgeous. It’s more than that, though, because he also wants Gabe to feel good. Watching him cry from pleasure under Travie’s hand had been the hottest and most fulfilling things Bill had ever seen. He knew that feeling intimately and wanted Gabe to feel it, too, especially when he clearly loved it. It had been good for him; he’d been weird afterwards but he moved easier through the world, less desperate to act out for attention.

A couple weeks later, however, and Gabe’s back to normal. Well, not normal. He’s being a little ass, is what he’s doing, like he’s begging for someone to punish him, to force him back to what he keeps calling a fluke. Bill has a thought about telling him flatly that they’re not going to punish him until they actually have a good little talk about what’s going on now.

They don’t talk about it, because Gabe is still firmly denying that it was anything other than a one- off, like he wasn’t begging to be taken down again. Still, he relaxes around them enough that Bill doesn’t feel weird about telling Gabe he wants to fuck one day when Travie’s out of the house.

Gabe is clearly into the idea and eager enough that he doesn’t complain about Bill being a bossy little shit in bed. Bill isn’t always bossy when they fuck, but Gabe seems into it and it’s kind of fun. He manhandles Bill onto the bed, making him laugh when he raspberries his stomach, and by the time he’s balls-deep in Bill’s ass both Gabe and Bill are feeling good. Bill rolls his hips up with every thrust Gabe makes, an active participant, and Gabe grins at him every time he groans.

“Mm,” Bill hums happily. “That’s good. Do that again, Gabe - that angle, right there.” He does as he’s asked, thankfully not being willful at the moment, and Bill rewards him with a soft whine he knows does things to Gabe. As if in response, Gabe circles his hips a little. Bill wiggles, a little too freely, and without thinking he adds, “Hold my wrists. C’mon, hold me down, babe.”

Gabe huffs a laugh. “Is it one of those times?” he asks, reaching for Bill’s wrists and pressing them into the mattress. Though Bill didn’t ask him to, he shifts so he more or less blankets Bill’s body. It’s not really one of “those times” - he doesn’t want Gabe to dom him, really. He just wants to be held down a little, and so what if he’s maybe getting a little pleasure out of seeing Gabe do as he says. He’s not going to tell Gabe that, so it’s fine.

“Harder,” he says instead, and feels a little thrill when Gabe rolls his eyes but does so. He’s glorious in the throes, Bill thinks, sun-kissed skin and dark eyes and muscles flexing with every thrust. Bill watches the way his pleasure flits across his expression before pulling one hand out of Gabe’s to cup his cheek and kiss him. He keeps it pressed to Gabe’s cheek even after they’ve broken the kiss to stare into each other’s eyes.

It’s purely by accident that his thumb slips into the corner of Gabe’s mouth, but to his surprise Gabe doesn’t flinch away. He doesn’t even look totally aware of it as he closes his lips around it and suckles at the pad of his finger.

The sight makes Bill groan, and he squeezes his inner muscles to make Gabe groan too, around his

thumb.

“Slow down now,” Bill tells him breathlessly, and finds it interesting when Gabe’s hips immediately stutter down to a slower pace. Bill fights down a grin and kisses Gabe again, around his own thumb. Gabe’s tongue comes out to tease at his mouth, ignoring his finger, and it’s possibly the hottest thing Bill’s seen recently. “Let go of my other wrist, Gabe,” he adds, and when Gabe does he reaches down to pull at his own cock, hopelessly turned on.

“Fuck,” Gabe says when he does, looking down with hungry eyes. “You’re so gorgeous, babe, fuck.” He sounds a little faint.

Bill laughs a little, lightheaded with how much he’s enjoying himself. “Yeah, I’m fucking pretty. So are you, Gabey.” It’s just a tease, and Gabe doesn’t seem to be upset by it, so Bill stays relaxed, casually throwing out instructions whenever Gabe does something particularly good. He’s feeling up for a little edging, and several times he murmurs for Gabe to stop so they can catch their breath.

“Fuckin’ with me,” Gabe grumbles, but he does as he’s told even though he’s flushed with how needy he is. He sits up, slides his hand over Bill’s leg, and pushes it up so he can squeeze and admire the play of muscle. Gabe’s always had a thing for Bill’s legs.

“I just want to feel good for - ah - a long time,” he denies, though he’s clearly having too much fun for that to be the truth. Gabe doesn’t even roll his eyes; he just watches hungrily. “Move again, Gabe. Slowly, then work up.”

It’s so good - one of the best lately. They’ve had a lot of spectacular sex, and this is still so good .

“Touch me,” he forces out after Gabe’s brushed over his prostate for the tenth time. There’s a hand around his cock right away and his breath hitches with how good it is. “Alright,” he gasps a minute later. “Stop again, Gabe. Now, stop now .” He’s going to come if Gabe doesn’t, and he doesn’t want to. Not yet.

The strangest thing happens, however, and Bill shakes with the realization. Gabe whines , even as his hips twitch to a stop, belly heaving, and his hand leaves Bill’s cock.

Gabe is so gorgeous, Bill thinks wildly - his cheeks flushed, mouth open. But his eyes - fuck, his eyes . That’s what gets Bill, because they’re all glazed and distant, watching Bill without actively watching. He’s biting his lower lip, and his hips thrust a little without any apparent intention to.

Travie is going to lose his shit, Bill thinks.

“Pull out,” he says firmly but gently, and Gabe does without thinking about it, reacting to Bill’s orders without question. Beautiful. “Good boy,” he tacks on smoothly, and Gabe’s hips roll a little into thin air between Bill’s legs. He’s just propped up on his elbows, watching Gabe wait for him, sitting between Bill’s thighs like a good. boy .

“C’mon,” he breathes out, finally, a little shaky himself from the repeated lack of release. He guides Gabe onto his back next to him, and part of Bill just wants to lay down with him and stroke Gabe and have Gabe stroke him. It’d be hot, if simple - but Bill’s all open and wanting. He slides a leg over Gabe’s hips, brushing his cock and making him gasp a little. When he’s settled in Gabe’s lap, he smiles down at him, feeling impossibly tender.

“M’gonna ride you,” he tells him, because communication is important especially with Gabe so out of it. “You can just lie down and hold onto my hips if you want, but I’m gonna do all the work.” It’s easier said than done, because his legs are basically jelly, but he takes Gabe’s cock in hand and

strokes just a little before sinking down onto it. His eyes close with how good it is, the angle near perfect, and when he rolls his hips Gabe thrusts up a little like he can’t help it.

He’s not Travie; Gabe doesn’t need to be still. “Good boy,” he tells him and feels a flush of heat when Gabe’s mouth gapes open, lips swollen from the biting he’d been doing. “That’s so good, Gabe,” he adds, voice rising in pitch. “Yeah, just like that, babe. Fuck .”

Gabe doesn’t hold onto him, so Bill leans forward so he can clasp his hands with Gabe’s and push them into the mattress. Gabe’s hips thrust up when he does, and he remembers how much Gabe had liked the idea of Bill holding him down while Travie had fucked him those two or three weeks before.

It doesn’t last too much longer after that. They’ve been at it for close to half an hour, and they’ve done longer but it’s clearly not their average session either. It’s been good, but Gabe is trembling and whining and out of it. It’s beautiful, but Bill isn’t going to draw it out. When Gabe finally comes, Bill lets go as well, jerking himself until he left white ropes of come on Gabe’s belly. He lifts up, just enough for Gabe to slip free and for come to slide down his thigh, and flops down onto his side next to Gabe.

They have to do laundry, Bill acknowledges hazily, but he’s more focused on petting Gabe’s chest lightly and pressing kisses to his cheek. He doesn’t like leaving someone in subspace, even just to get food and water, but thankfully there’s a granola bar on the nightstand and a water bottle on on the desk. He presses his smile into Gabe’s shoulder.

Travie joins them once Gabe’s finally come out of it for the most part, still pliant but glaring at the wall like he doesn’t want to admit what happened. Travie takes one look at them, raises an eyebrow, and leans in to steal a kiss from Gabe’s resisting lips, pressing until Gabe sighs and finally kisses him back.

“It was a -”

Last time, they’d humored him when he said it was a fluke.

“Shut up,” Bill says calmly, unimpressed. “Quit acting like it’s the end of the world. Everyone here likes it, so you’re allowed to let go every now and again.” He doesn��t mention that submission seems a lot more genuine on Gabe than domination does, because people are allowed to like both. He does. It just seems like Gabe enjoys one a lot more than the other. Bill’s done this with a few people - not a lot, but enough - and he’s never seen someone go down as easily as Gabe does.

“I’m not,” Gabe tries, but he swallows the sentence down before he can finish and instead he just shakes a little, looking uncomfortable and desperately in need of comfort. Travie climbs in behind him and wraps his arm around Gabe’s waist. Gabe flushes when Travie fits his hips to Gabe’s ass and tries to squirm away, but Travie holds fast, and Bill presses himself to Gabe’s front so he doesn’t escape.

“Love you, Gabey,” Travie says, simple as that, and Gabe stills before slowly relaxing, breathing out.

“Love you, Gabey,” Bill whispers against his mouth, so he knows, and Gabe nods jerkily in response to both of them.

“Love you, too,” he says back. “I’m just... I don’t know. It’s weird.” Bill understands - really, he

does. In a word focused with hypermasculinity it’s easy to forget that men can surrender sometimes. He’d had his own troubles with it when he’d first realized he liked to be held down and fucked, when he realized he got off on being told what to do, on being used by someone bigger and stronger who told him that he was good every now and again.

Gabe, on the other hand, seems to enjoy being taken care of more than he does being used, and Bill has no problem giving that to him. Travie is smirking into Gabe’s neck, and judging by that he doesn’t mind either.

“Would it be less weird if I fucked you right now?” Travie says pleasantly, and Gabe starts a little, eyes wide. “Because I’ve had this little daydream about using you to fuck Bill, like a train. It’d be hot. Whatcha say?”

Bill tries not to laugh, because Travie isn’t joking. It’s a daydream he’s had for a long time, and he likes to talk to Bill about it when Gabe is asleep between them.

Gabe flushes, and Travie reaches down to fondle his cock like that’s an answer.

Gabe’s not a sub - not entirely. It just suits him to sub most of the time. He’s doing it for Bill, really - Bill loves to dom as much as he loves to sub, so it’s only fair to give him the opportunity when he wants to. And Travie really is a spectacular dom, so it’s only fair to let him do what he’s best at, even if it means Gabe has to suck it up and receive some mind-blowing orgasms and take some orders.

The things he does for love, honestly.

#pwp #fic #gabe saporta #william beckett #travie mccoy

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softshelltaakos · 5 years

Text

alright, folks! if you know me you know that i 1) received the taz graphic novel for the holidays and 2) have hated the taz graphic novel since before it came out, and that 3) actually reading it in no way improved my opinion.

let’s review.

disclaimer: i love the mcelroys. i truly do. taz has gotten me through some very difficult stuff and i have a tattoo. all this to say i’m not doing this because i hate them or because i like hating things — on the contrary, i’m doing this because i care a lot about the podcast and analyzing things is what i do for fun and also because, like, it has issues that i want to talk about!

there are spoilers for the graphic novel and the whole of the podcast under the cut.

this is part 1, in which i’m talking about the actual storytelling and writing; for character design thoughts, you’re gonna have to stay tuned because i’ve been working on this for three and a half hours and i have shit to do. so!

let’s start off with the things i actually liked. there are a few!

the main characters get little intro cards, which i think are pretty cute. this isn’t all of them, but here’s a sampling (forgive my messy collaging):

[ID: four panels.

the first introduces magnus burnsides, a barrel-chested white guy with auburn hair and a fluffy beard and sideburns. he’s saying “trust me, if the law hassles us, i’m the guy you want at the front of the wagon. but look, if you want to drive so bad, i might let you spell me the next time the dwarf has to stop for a pee break.” there is a scroll with his name listed, as well as his race (human), class (fighter), and proficiencies: battle, carpentry, and “everything else... apparently”

the second introduces taako, a skinny mint-colored elf wizard. he’s blonde with pronounced lower lashes and a big pointy nose. he’s saying “hell, no! i’ve got stuff to do. i’ve read the books. adventurers are supposed to, like, forage for food and shit. bor-r-r-ring! no, thank you. not for taako.” the proficiencies on his title card are spell-casting, transmutation, and gastronomy

the third introduces merle highchurch, a brown dwarf with white hair pulled back into a bun and a big poofy beard. he’s saying “i’m studying my cantrips!” and his title card proficiencies are “healing... supposedly,” “religion stuff,” and bleeding

the fourth panel introduces griffin mcelroy, a white human man with brown hair and glasses wearing a collared shirt. he’s saying “guys! it’s me: griffin! your dm!” his title card shows his race as “actual human” and his class as “dungeon master,” while his proficiencies are podcasting, karaoke, and “weaving a rich tapestry of drama.”]

then there are a few cute references to other mcelroy stuff:

[ID: two side-by-side images. the first is a photo of justin mcelroy wearing a bib with “shrimpin’ ain’t easy” written on it in crayon. the second is a close-up of a similar bib on a goblin -- though the text is distorted, it’s the same phrase.]

[ID: magnus thoughtfully says “unless...” and the other boys echo him in traditional mcelroy fashion.]

barry also wears underwear that read “meloincloths” around the waistband, which i didn’t take a picture of because it was small and also i didn’t really want to take a picture of barry bluejeans’s underoos. but that’s cute!

as it mentions in magnus’s titlecard, there’s a running joke about him being proficient in everything. that gets some play in the podcast but it comes up a lot more here and i think it works pretty well and establishes early on that magnus is cocky and headstrong and all that. it’s actually introduced in the very first panel of the comic, where he mentions his vehicle proficiency, and then it comes up several more times.

there are some moments that shift out-of-character dialogue to in-character dialogue, and i think it works sometimes. notably, it occasionally happens with griffin’s dialogue, which i think is a good way to include his voice without constantly breaking the fourth wall. it’s done some, obviously, but it’s not to the point that it’s intrusive.

[ID: a panel featuring taako approaching the other boys, who are playing cards while they wait for him to scout the next room out. magnus asks, “would you say it is spooky... or beautiful?” and merle cuts in “or spookily beautiful?” followed by magnus finishing up with “or beautifully spooky?”

taako responds “if you were a gerblin you would actually find it a pretty chill den to, like, hang out in.”]

i also like the introduction of the voidfish static. i think it’s appropriately dramatic and does a pretty good job of emulating how it’s presented in the podcast.

[ID: a panel featuring killian, an orc woman with a crossbow. the lighting is dark gray-blue-green and she’s shouting something unintelligible marked by a cluster of consonants and a shaky, brush-strokey speech bubble distinct from the other speech bubbles stylistically.]

the scene where taako grabs the umbra staff is also appropriately dramatic, as is merle trying to talk down gundren/bogard from the gauntlet’s thrall, but those are full page images and very large, so i’m not including them.

then there’s this panel of lucretia, which slays me:

[ID: a closeup of madame director lucretia, a black woman dressed in blue with white hair, though her eyes are out of frame. she’s holding a white oak staff in her hands. she’s stopped mid-sentence and there’s a little jaggedy line near her head indicating surprise.]

this is lucretia turning around and seeing the boys for the first time since she dropped them off at their respective “homes.” she’s caught off-guard and i think this is a beautiful way of noting that without giving too much away, and this is a good moment of foreshadowing that she knows much, much more about them than she’s letting on. she catches herself quickly and gets back into the swing of things, but i think this is a very lucretia panel, and it’s probably my favorite panel in the book.

now it’s time for the negative.

first off, a nitpick: there are moments where the characterization feels very off -- at one point magnus is said to have been the kid who “always reminded the teacher that they had forgotten to hand out homework,” which... does not really match what we know of young magnus. at all. travis describes him as “a good but kind of rebellious kid, like he was probably kind of a little bit of a turd [...] who was kinda sarcastic” (ep. 60, the stolen century part one) which feels super incongruent with the homework thing.

my issues with characterization come into focus most strongly with taako. while a lot of moments get his voice down pretty well, there’s a major issue in his presentation, which is that from the very beginning, he’s bragging about his tv show.

[ID: several panels in which merle and taako are talking. the first is a wide shot with taako’s voiceover saying: “--and then the lights come up, and there i am, standing under a magnificent banner that reads:”

the second is taako posing under a spotlight, speaking in large, fanciful script: “sizzle it up with taako”

panel three is merle asking disinterestedly “so it’s a show... about cooking?” and taako replying emphatically “it’s about life!”

in panel four he adds “...told through the perspective of fine dining.”

another panel collaged in features a cookbook with taako’s face on it labeled “perfection: cook the taako way” and taako excitedly saying “i know that smell!! that’s my recipe for haunch a la taako!! it was in my very first cookbook!]

now, we all know that by the end of the show “taako -- you know, from tv?” has become a catchphrase of his, and i understand the desire to retcon that kind of thing into his personality from the start. it seems like a natural way to add character early on when in the podcast, the boys are still pretty underdeveloped at this point.

here’s the issue. neither tv nor the title “sizzle it up” are mentioned at any point during here there be gerblins. in the eleventh hour (e48, part 8 of that arc) we’re told that we’re six years out from the mass poisoning in glamour springs. while the maxfun donor bonus episodes, like the liveshows, play it a little bit fast and loose with canon, and this episode was the 2015 bonus episode (e48 didn’t come out until september 2016,) that’s the only real explicit sizzle it up development we have until the eleventh hour. i’ve transcribed some of the bonus episode below, as transcripts for it are not available via @.tazscripts.

justin: taako-- i’m sitting in a corner by myself with my hat sorta pulled down low so people don’t recognize me. and i’m just trying to eat my meal but i keep changing the items that i’m trying to eat into different substances, so every few minutes you hear from my corner of the tavern:

taako: damn it!

clint: i hate asparagus!

griffin: i turned this sandwich into wood!

[...]

justin: mainly, i’m just trying to be nondescript.

[...]

justin: the whole time i’m talking to [the tavern owner] i’m like, keeping my face down so he doesn’t recognize me.

griffin: why would anyone recognize you?

clint: why?

justin: well, taako, uh, used to host a cooking show. it was a very, very, very popular cooking show. uh, and--

griffin: what was it called?

justin: what?

griffin: the show.

justin: sizzle it up with taako.

this episode is when the boys take the job with gundren off of craig’s list, so the time gap between this and episode 1 is negligible at best. there is a moment where the other boys recognize taako and he doesn’t lie about his identity, but:

taako: (begrudgingly) yeah, i’m taako, i’m disgraced, you might have heard about the [poisoning] thing.

so... he’s clearly not putting himself on display the way he does later in the podcast. in episode 40 (lunar interlude III: rest and relaxation) which came out in may of 2016, we get the first reference to the poisoning itself:

taako: one time i transmogrified something that, uh… i transmogrified it into something you really shouldn’t eat, ever? for life, to live, i mean? And, uh, a lot of people ate that. and that went... so sideways. um... i-- i just decided i would never again cook for people i cared about, because i couldn’t risk, um, y’know, something happening to them. until i get this under control, i guess.

so we know that even at that point this is still something that troubles taako greatly. one might even say... he’s traumatized! and doesn’t talk about it! he does not go into detail about sizzle it up with anyone over the entire course of the podcast except for june while she is literally possessed by the chalice and forcing him to relive it. So. kind of a weird character take.

to skip ahead a little bit, most of the moonbase stuff is fine, but there’s one omission that feels very weird to me.

[ID: three panels. the left is a shot of the elevator hallway leading to the voidfish’s chambers. thb follow killian towards the elevators; johann is walking away from them. he’s a black human man with natural hair dressed in a silly bard outfit with a violin strapped to his back. he’s carrying a ton of scrolls.]

these three panels are the only time we see johann in the book. in the podcast it’s johann that escorts them to the voidfish’s chambers and inoculates them. it makes sense that this has been changed to lucretia in the gn; it gives her a much stronger entrance and cuts down on scene changes. but it also cuts out a lot of establishing things about johann that are all extremely important and set up not only his character arc but several core plot points.

it’s during that scene that we hear that johann’s greatest fear is being forgotten, and that that’s exactly what will happen to him and all of the other bureau employees when they die. it’s during that scene that we learn the basic mechanics of the voidfish and the mission of the bureau. it makes sense that some of that is going to be handled at the beginning of the next book (presumably) and i’m glad that lucretia is introduced here, but the gn adjusts it so that killian takes the boys into the elevator. that’s johann in the podcast, and it easily could have been johann here. it would’ve been a good chance to establish at least johann’s fears, which would be a weird and creepy setup for the voidfish mechanics when they do get revealed.

it’s just odd to me that johann, who is the reason for the song half of story and song, gets the short shrift here.

i’m gonna wrap up with one last thing. i wanna talk about arms outstretched.

griffin: and you’re both getting pulled into the rift now, and-- but with a 20, taako, you fight against the pull and both of you are flying backwards towards the center of the room, back towards the catwalk. and merle, you’re standing in front of the two liches, one in the form of magnus and one not. lydia just is there in her spectral form. and you’re standing next to a taako who’s gone completely catatonic.

[...]

griffin: okay, then, m—magnus and taako, you two are flying back towards the center of the room. the pull of this rift is still trying to suck you in. and out of nowhere, just merle turns around—turns his back to the two liches—and just outstretches his arms and as he does, you see, like, spectral versions of his soul-wood arm sort of reach out and grab you and he’s also pulling you back in too, now. and he rips both of you towards himself.

i don’t think it’s a stretch to say that this is one of the most emotionally charged moments in the show, and it’s that because it’s a moment where we see, crystal-clear, real character development and growth.

magnus, who rushes in, who has never wanted anything as much as he wants to be reunited with julia, actively resists the pull of death to help his friends.

taako, who’s good out here, who is so selfish that an entire town died because of his ego, risks his life to help his friends.

merle, who can barely feel his holy connection, who barely ever even heals, breaks planar bounds to help his friends.

we’ve been with these characters for 56 episodes. we’ve seen their worst regrets, we know their tragic backstories, we understand why they’ve been the jackasses they’ve been, and now we see them moving past that to work as a unit. one might even say as a family!

arms outstretched is a moment that has been earned over the course of those 56 episodes.

enter the graphic novel.

[ID: a full page. flames are everywhere and panels are intentionally chaotic. dialogue reads:

merle: maybe now would be good?

magnus: i’m a hero, not an idiot.

taako: actually, you’re both idiots!

he outstretches his arm from his position safe in a well.

taako: come on!

merle and magnus reach for taako’s hands. there is a closeup on their arms: merle and magnus each hold one of taako’s with one hand. then there’s a panel showing an explosion.]

this is obviously intended as a way to foreshadow arms outstretched. and typically i’m not against foreshadowing! i think one of the benefits of the graphic novel is that it’s an opportunity to insert foreshadowing in cool ways that were not necessarily possible given the in-progress nature of the podcast -- like i said earlier, that lucretia panel is a really great example of it. you can’t foreshadow arms outstretched in episode one because you have no idea it’s going to happen.

but here’s the thing. you also can’t foreshadow arms outstretched in episode one because it hasn’t been earned. these characters are not those characters yet. they don’t know each other. taako actively shuts down the title of “friend” earlier in the book. they’re not even coworkers yet. and you could make an argument that in the face of death, taako would try to save them, but... would he? really? he’s a pragmatist, and that’s putting it nicely. during the stolen century the only person he tries to get to safety at the risk of his own neck is lup, and, uh... neither of these guys are lup. hell, he doesn’t even know about lup right now, and we see in the podcast that not remembering her leaves him colder and more self-centered. he knows people are dust, but he doesn’t know there are people that aren’t. i truly don’t buy it.

the nature of adaptation is that things are going to change, and that’s fine; but this is such a major shift that it left me really jarred and unhappy with the writing. in the podcast itself, we get this:

killian: c’mon c’mon c’mon c’mon!

clint: decision made.

justin: yeah, i follow her.

travis: i follow her.

clint: me too.

griffin: the three of you dive into the well.

it makes sense that the gn adjusts this slightly so that magnus and merle try to pull some heroics and save everyone; i don’t have a problem with that. that’s a good adaptation of character that hadn’t exactly been seen yet, but comes to be a core enough part of the characters that it makes sense to insert it earlier. but even then, they could’ve gotten to the well without taako’s help. it’s just such a weird rewrite, and i really think it weakens the impact of arms outstretched itself.

i’ve been meaning to get my thoughts on this out for nearly a month at this point so if you’ve stuck with me this whole time, wow! thanks! i appreciate it! i’m not a professional, and obviously the mcelroys signed off on this, so i don’t really have space to say “oh, taako would never do this” or “oh, magnus was never like that” on a canonical level -- i know travis says something along those lines in one of the ttazzes. but as i said at the very beginning: this story means so, so much to me, and it’s really deeply frustrating to see an adaptation that handles things so... weirdly.

#prim.txt #tazposting #tazmeta #NEW TAG BABEY

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luisneer · 6 years

Text

selected tweets 2016-17

These are tweets from my first @luisneer twitter account. Recently I made a new twitter account with the same username, after having deleted my account and having been without twitter for several months. These tweets are from August 2016 to March 2017, which was most of my first year of college at Shepherd University, in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. I don't go to Shepherd anymore; I transferred to West Virginia University, in Morgantown, WV, after my second semester. My tweets from late March 2017 to [July or August] 2017, when I deleted my twitter, were not archived.

I'm creating this blog post so the world will have access to some of my tweets from the deleted @luisneer, in case they have any merit as literature. I'm still not sure if I will continue to use twitter in 2018/the future. Usually when I use twitter I feel like I'm actually wanting to be doing something else, but I don't know what; or wanting to be using "another app" that doesn't exist. Twitter generally seems bad for me. Questions about my tweets August 2016-March 2017 can be directed at [email protected]. Thank you

2016

morgantown has ~48 vape shops

**morgantown has ~480 vape shops

siri has werner herzog-like inflections

considering changing outfits when i take several walks in one day (so nobody thinks im a serial killer, stalker, spy, alien)

think i remember ~5% of things i said today

imagined vague connection btwn 'vitamin d' and 'reptar'

felt distinctly that i was a monkey or chimpanzee while crouching in the corner of my dorm room eating peanuts out of a jar

just thought (as a request to my mom) 'fax me my skateboard...'

looked at toilet in bathroom stall with expression of 'utter terror' for what felt like ~15 seconds while it flushed

listening to bright eyes with headphones at house show

feel that the toothpaste i use is advancing decay of my teeth

feel 100% certain that i could train myself to use telepathy to operate my phone during classes

enjoying the sensation of my right leg 'falling asleep' during psychology class (left foot is also 'asleep')

felt 'sociopathic' after eye contact w library worker who watched me pick up & pocket a pair of apple headphones someone had left on a chair

left stolen apple headphones on gray bench across the street from my dorm

repeatedly placed/removed sunglasses while walking in hallway

strong desire to remove all positive patterns from my life and perpetuate/embrace all negative ones

feel that my laptop 'knows' which parts of its screen im looking at

in winchester, VA

thought of my own music as having 'no compelling audible elements'

thought of myself as being legally named 'the fuck up', then couldnt remember my actual name

successfully, i feel, duplicated 'sociopath facial expression' during eye contact with arch-nemesis in stairwell

ive taken 13800mg ibuprofen since i got to college

feel compelled to ask my 9 yr old brother for advice re 'college-level' personal issues

feel smart after sitting on couch in painting studio + reading art magazines for 2 hours

persistent notion that 100% of students at my college personally hate me

psychology professor muttered something like 'scary snake... endocrine system...'

feeling heavily drugged/sedated in psych class

psych professor seems obsessed with/terrified by snakes

imagined kanye smoking crystal meth and tweeting something like 'please help me... cant feel mouth... need help'

saw a moth at open mic, thought about god

experiencing difficulty trying to smile

enjoying using numerous cliches ('the case is closed', 'taking a step back', 'harsh realities') in an essay

intrigued by conversation i had 9 hrs ago w/ 2 boys who countered my tone (calm, eloquent) exactly by being loud and rude in a friendly way

felt simultaneously really cute and really lonely while giggling with my mouth closed in french class

imagined kanye inventing the word 'compactualize' and using it in a sentence during a televised interview

enjoyed 8-sentence john updike bio in norton lit anthology

perceived person standing outside bathroom stall occupied by me could 'sense', via something like echolocation, that i was/am depressed

spoke to french professor in what felt like a distinct persona/alternate luis neer called 'marge simpson voice' luis neer

feel confidently that the public debut of 'marge simpson voice' luis neer was a success

feel that 'marge simpson voice' luis neer is the culmination of an unconscious process that initiated in my mind maybe 3-5 years ago

i want to identify/analyze additional alternate luis neers

i dont like videos

i came to college and got weirder, better at writing, more arrogant, more defeated, more sensible

simultaneously feel that i should run 3 miles and that, at this moment, i would be incapable of running any distance

feel urged to draw new attention to my 'marge simpson voice' tweets

huge power outage at shepherd lol

realized theres no such thing as a 'nation'

remembered ive blown off obligations to several people, not just one person, so my irresponsibility doesnt 'have a focus', felt comforted

feel that my follower count is 'crystallized' / will never increase or decrease ever again

struggled to convert 'stick-and-poke' to past tense during conversation in line at sheetz

feel it would be pleasurable to take a donut + bottle of coca-cola from this sheetz via armed robbery

crossed busy road, felt really surprised i didnt get hit by a car, also i wasnt wearing glasses, was walking to sheetz, bought an icee

laughed alone in my dorm thinking that i should print out a picture of barack obama to put on my wall

drank from separate glasses containing soymilk, coffee, iced coffee, apple juice, cranberry juice, water, sprite for dinner/breakfas

just thought 'from adorno to zizek' sans context while shitting

opened gmail, emailed my father, closed gmail, opened gmail again, viewed email to my father, forwarded it to myself

'camcorder' would be a good band name

i thought arnold palmer had already died

willem dafoe doesnt make me uncomfortable

i want to stop being mean

i hate bfs but i want to be someones bf

wishing i was in a car with friends and no cellular service

tangled up in myself and others

twin peaks is depicted as a small town but its population is greater than that of every city in west virginia including the state capital

eating shark

thought of my own intelligence as 'frightening'

thought while walking to class that ginger ale should be made public domain

had the stitches on my chin removed today, touched the scar tissue for the first time

i miss being in therapy

i love carpet

i love carpet !!

just thought about my own tweets and lol'd

mood lately very fragile

this is what i get for staying up til 5 am

all night i've felt a wave of dread swelling up, now it's really hitting me

sound of laughter in public still frightening + unnerving

my instinct for when to unfriend people on facebook has adapted so that i unfriend people over statuses that make me feel no emotions at all

fuck, im feeling so much terror

gucci mane was born 3 days before conor oberst

the other day i mentioned that i was a poet and this vape guy interrupted me to say "and you didnt know it" and i went fucking nuclear

interacted with mailman who was picking up mail as i was trying to mail chapbooks, he didnt notice at first that i was talking to him

what if old people have secrets

my dad is making me root for a football team but im in pain emotionally

i feel guilty in general

thought of my poem "portrait of a nation without any people" as the "lead single" for my full length; it appeared in potluck 14 months ago

im close friends with satan rn

feel like travis scott never intended for people to spell his name with a $

from now on every time i get honey on something ill list the thing in this thread

finger

desk

coffee cup exterior

pajama pants

knee

carpet

chin

phone

shirt

shoe

thought that my elderly geography prof. moves by "shuffling"

feeling shorter, broader

the only part of the new bright eyes box set i want is the booklet

is there a booklet? i know there are nvr b4 sn photos

the song "lime tree" came to conor oberst in a dream

i like citing things in MLA

i write essays by pretending im werner herzog

doesnt seem to be getting later

lit professor gave my project (sequence of 6 sonnets) a C, i wish she would have gotten me expelled, shelley + ginsberg both were expelled

heard someone in another room ask "where's wal-mart?" as if wal-mart were a person whose location could change

i think i just swallowed a filling while eating popcorn, i am very scared, please help

crazy how things get worse

there are people on my floor having tons of fun and im upset

bit my mattress while sitting in the chair next to my bed

weird that chance the rapper only has 2.4 million followers when he's sort of one of the most famous artists in the world rn

also weird that donald trump has made 34,000 tweets, seems like an incredibly large number

the strangeness of yesterday was, for me, augmented by people on the internet talking about a tv show that ive never seen or heard about

the sunlight is obscene

im so upset about the sun being so bright im afraid to go outside

im glad im the only poet who likes trailer park boys

i slept in a blanket fort under my bed and havent left it all day

yr = your ur = you're

my favorite things are pdfs

now that ive adapted my living space to allow me to never leave my blanket fort i feel like my roommate, omar, exists in a parallel universe

i hear him but i never see him

i love latte art, i drink many lattes

thought that twitter "isn't worth it" in an upset tone while drinking mtn dew

felt pleasant considering uniqueness of all parent-offspring relationships

went through my closet + made sure all shirts and jackets were zipped/buttoned

my blanket is generating flashes of light from static electricity

record store guy became visibly sick of me several months ago; feel a little guilty every time i enter his store to spend money

i prefer EPs

felt "out of control" walking downhill listening to dead kennedys with headphones

writing an essay is difficult because idk how much relevant information other people have already considered / moved on from

have been wanting to write at least one poem inside my blanket fort but i don't think it's going to happen, i don't know why

the internet isn't big enough

usually when i think "i dont understand the uproar about [event]" i realize there is no "uproar"

"uproar" is media's way of manipulating the public spotlight and distracting people from important tasks

feeling helpless + melancholy after dying 15 times and killing 2 stormtroopers in star wars battlefront

the only way to attain conor oberst-level emo hair is to lay in bed and sob for hours

i'm sad

my mom was confused when i told her my first book comes out today

was luis neer in odd future

thought "sometimes i just want to end it and start all over" in an exasperated tone re my goodreads account

becoming increasingly convinced it would be best for me personally to take myself extremely seriously/never joke about myself

thinking that my tweets would seem terrible if i were a senator/governor/other politician

imagined doomsday device for future @starwars movies: the "death train," a normal train that exists in space and destroys planets

how does anyone do it

in science fiction movies, spacecraft usually look like shopping malls

everyone in the world is high except me

feel like i want to have poems published immediately

having delusions of grandeur

im sitting on my record player

my most-used word in 2016 was "bleak"

prepared and ate garbanzo beans w a lot of rosemart at 2:00 AM

my brother has a friend over and is being mean to the friend

all i want for christmas is to never cheer up, ever

watching eyes wide shut and hugging duckuc

my nose feels like it's going to bleed

im sad because every bf looks like me

getting better at eating ice cream by punching it with my tongue

the internet is too freaky...

i think 2017 will be a year of realizing things

im watching the angry birds movie

the angry birds movie is so shitty... why was it made...

ive never had a new years kiss

2017

im weird

eating medicinal ice cream

im not going to do any drugs in 2017

made a medicinal phone call

i want to drink some blood

i dreamed that roger ebert wrote a negative review of life after ppl and called it "liner notes"

years dont kill people

feel inexplicably/explicably really scared about the future of my poetry career

i've felt stoned since i was a baby

downloading google earth

made eye contact in starbucks with possible luis neer incarnation from ~50 years in future; bon jovi "dead or alive" played through speakers

realised that at some point in the future i will become extremely interested in watching football

i recommend reading poems extremely slowly while touching the text with your middle finger/index finger

experiencing cognitive dissonance

used phonetic clues to correctly predict meaning of & use the word "tandem" while discoursing with myself internally

i miss steel pedal guitar sounds on conor oberst songs

my previous incarnation "college luis neer" has evolved to become "high school luis neer-like luis neer in college setting"

thought "man, i got to stop caring what people think about me" in an emphatic tone that seemed confusing/interesting

mediocore

beyonce is cool i think

i want to re-read "v for vendetta" and to not tweet about it

remembered that i own a pinata

i will be at awp

how could i make twitter a better place

i saw 4 people wearing yeezys in dc this weekend

feeling increasingly self-conscious about how much i use the phrase "in the world" or refer to "the world" in poems

felt robot-like while attaching detachable headphones cord to my headphones while wearing the headphones

watching shepherd univ lacrosse team practice from "safety of" student center

i invented releasing two chapbooks in one day

im dumber than me

reasoned mentally that im more likely to produce accurate drawings of myself because "i basically look like a bird, so i just draw a bird"

i want to have a "fake tweet" (e.g. a simple phrase) to tweet repeatedly every time i feel urged to tweet an uninformed/unimportant opinion

my fake tweet for the foreseeable future will be "i dropped my textbook in the stairwell". when i tweet this it means i have an opinion

i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

does anyone remember the chapter of "the hobbit" where bilbo avoids starvation by ingesting peanut butter, honey, cherry nyquil, and water

sensed that all my college friends just simultaneously shifted from having vague/non-serious negative feelings about me to hating me

resulting from continuous building of irrepressible/inevitable conjecture in the friends' conscious thoughts

eating chicken and squash

i click on 100% of poetry links tweeted by poets i follow

when i was writing Waves i was obsessed with waves (e.g. energy waves, frequencies) and used the word "waves" at least ~10 times every day

i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

white nike swooshes on shoes of boy in library look vibrant/magical

terrified of being cool

walked to library really slowly while listening to noise music through big headphones

i was really, really yung when i started publishing and i'm still really yung

2 chainz always looks like he's walking in an airport

i have 5 twitters

i didnt know what bill paxton looked like, i was thinking RIP gene hackman

why doesnt anyone blog about me

thesis statements arent real

thinking about my book

i deleted both my tumblrs by accident

sad about my tumblr

my name is all over the internet

im a lizard

someday there'll be no more ppl

a lot of conor oberst song titles have parentheses

feeling sad about the actions of my clone, who passed away

idk how to use venmo or what it is

present-day tumblr is like the end of the never ending story where atreyu is talking with the rock biter and the nothing is swirling around

when someone, anyone, is upset with me im afraid im going to be assassinated

the views-era apple music ads that depict drake working hard in the studio have really affected and inspired me

on tumblr i have 4 followers

almost all of my tweets seem unimportant

feel that if someone told me that one of my tweets made them upset i would just apologize and delete it

ground control to commander venus

i like my new tumblr

i would be wearing a cardigan rn but i dont have one

feel that i will continue to generate bright eyes-related content throughout my life

is everything ok

i look like michael moore

#words

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fawncyfeline · 6 years

Text

2017 in review

What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

I took a plane by myself. I’ve been on one before but always with someone just following what they do. This year I did the entire thing by myself, got myself there, printed my ticket, went through security, boarded the plane. It was intimidating but validating.

Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn’t really make any concrete resolutions that I remember. I’m always in a state of “you should do better”.

Did anyone close to you give birth? Nah.

Did anyone close to you die? No.

What countries did you visit? None this year. I went to Oregon though.

What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? For the love of god a car please god a car. A certificate in Web and Mobile Development. A new job. A doctor and maybe a therapist? My mental health could really use some work. A Cintiq?

What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I’m hilariously bad at remembering dates. The only things that come to mind are April 1st which was when I uploaded TRNDSTTR , and November 6, which was my first day starting my technical course in web and mobile development. Oh yeah also july 24th when my sister and I got t-boned on our way back from our parents

What was your biggest achievement of the year? damn uh. See above? navigated airport and started technical college I guess.

What was your biggest failure? I’ve really let my dental health go this year. I’ve always been kinda bad at brushing my teeth but this year its been wore than usual and I know I have a lot of work upcoming that I feel really shitty about. I know it’s going to cost a lot.

Did you suffer illness or injury? tooth got infected and had to get a root canal. the temp cap they put on was too tight and caused a lot of pain for a while

What was the best thing you bought? My character Zephon was designed by and purchased from a good friend of mine and I love him a LOT.

Whose behavior merited celebration? Might be kinda silly but the entirety of Polygon following what happened with Nick. I had just come from a fandom where the content creators handled an eerily kind of situation so poorly that the majority of the fans packed up and moved to other things. It was such a relief to see it handled how it was.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? The aforementioned youtuber, and Honestly??? The entire country. Everything’s been so unbelievably surreal and awful.

Where did most of your money go? besides general living expenses, I’ve spent a lot on art commissions and I don’t regret it. Just look at this gorgeous piece

What did you get really, really, really excited about? Holy shit Ace Attorney. I finally played through the original trilogy and have worked my way up through dual destinies and I’m so in love. I didn’t expect to fall this hard but I have.

What song will always remind you of 2017? SIAMÉS - "The Wolf" because of it’s beautiful video

Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c ) richer or poorer? same as it ever was, fatter, richer by a little

What do you wish you’d done more of? exercised and animated.

What do you wish you’d done less of? nothing. As in I spent a lot of time dissociating on my bed doing nothing instead of getting shit done.

How did you spend Christmas? I stayed at my parents for the majority of the day hanging with my family. It was nice to spend time with them without worrying about when I needed to go to work.

Did you fall in love in 2017? Only with Ace Attorney. I don’t really have any romantic inclinations and I’m ok with that.

What was your favorite TV program? I don’t really watch a lot of TV. Not even Netflix. Steven Universe is always great, and

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Hate is a strong word. there are people I dislike but it’s against a fundamental part of my personality to hate people. I’m too

What was the best book you read? The only literature I’ve read was fanfiction. It’s kind of really sad. I have a lot of good books to read, but I always feel guilty and overwhelmed sitting down with a book.

What was your greatest musical discovery? I’ve really enjoyed Mother Mother and their music this year, and I’ve reintroduced myself to U2 and Collective Soul, which were two bands i grew up on and bring a sense of home and nostalgia whenever I listen to them.

What did you want and get? My aunt was super generous and gifted me the funds to purchase TV Paint, which is a hardy animation program

What did you want and not get? A car, but no surprise there.

What was your favorite film of this year? There weren’t really a lot of movies I liked this year. Wonder Woman was nice

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 20 this year. I didn’t have anything major planned, I went out of town with my mom and little sister and had a good time, and came back to a surprise party with my friends.

What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not being dependent on my parents. I technically moved out in 2016, but spending the entire year not dependent or beholden to them was a huge relief

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? 1. Is it clean? Wear it.

2. Overwatch. I own way to many varieties of Overwatch apparel and I always end up wearing at least one of them.

What kept you sane? My friends, internet and IRL, my relatives who have been super supportive of me, music, and my cat Kuvira who I love more than anything in the world.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I don’t really get celebrity crushes. I’m kind of aromantic. I really resonate with Travis McElroy though, for a lot of silly reasons. I’m a middle child too and I relate to a lot of aspects of his personality and feelings towards things and he’s just a really genuine and lovely person.

Who did you miss? I’ve lost contact with a lot of old friends over time, and I’ve found myself really missing them this year.

Who was the best new person you met? I became acquainted with Knyuo , who’s a brilliant artist and a super nice person

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. 1. Be careful burning bridges, because once the deed is done you can never cross them again. No matter how angry you get, it’s worth it to be the civil one.

2. Be confident. things aren’t as scary as they seem.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Cut My Hair - Mounika

Often I am upset That i cannot fall in love But I guess This avoids the stress of falling out of it Are you tired of me yet? I'm a little sick right now but I swear When i'm ready I will fly us out of here

I won’t tag anyone because I don’t want to.

#fancy speaketh #long post

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bobbystompy · 4 years

Text

My Top 75 Songs Of 2019

Previously: 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

First time going below 100 songs since 2015, and I cannot wait. Giving this extra juice already.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track

Each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check them out for yourself; there is also a Spotify playlist at the bottom that includes the majority of the songs

This is usually the part where I put up a pump up video, but we are going with something a little different this year.

youtube

(It was stuck my head. Blame Blink-155.)

75) YG - “In The Dark”

The video begins with YG chugging a full tequila bottle -- sure. This song is very bad. It’s like he’s in a competition to make the verse lyrics worse than the chorus lyrics (spoiler alert: the verses “win”); not even satanic imagery can save this.

74) Solange - “Stay Flo”

Here’s a weird take: wouldn’t Solange’s career be way more fun if everyone slept on her? Instead, it’s hype on hype -- plus being Beyoncé’s sister -- which makes it nearly impossible to deliver. This has a fun beat/vibe but is kinda boring... and was still easily my favorite off her album.

73) Art Alexakis - “The Hot Water Test”

My doctors told me that I had a disease / I will slowly fall apart until there’s nothing left that looks like me

This song makes the stakes clear immediately. It was released a few months after I saw Art play in June 2019 on my birthday. At the intimate show, he revealed his multiple sclerosis diagnosis as if we were all his closest friends. Something like this is never easy to deal with -- a similar announcement by the Lucky Boys Confusion singer did not help matters -- but music can help such a painful situation, and it’s clearly Alexakis’ exile here.

72) The Cranberries - “In The End”

A very suitable sendoff for the band following the passing of singer Dolores O’Riordan. The recording story (via NPR):

O'Riordan died suddenly in January 2018 at 46 years old and left behind the vocal tracks to what was intended to be the band's latest album. Now, O'Riordan's bandmates have decided to complete that album, In The End — the last album the band will release — in her memory.

[...]

In June 2017, O'Riordan and Hogan started emailing album ideas and demos back and forth to each other. O'Riordan had been very open about her struggles with mental health and addiction, which would affect the band at times, but they wanted to make a new album. Hogan says that when they were emailing those demos, she was in a good place. They started laying down her demos.

"All of that was kind of behind her," Hogan says. "She's kind of found a way to cope with the mental health thing. That's why she wanted to write so much. That's what she kept saying, 'I have so much to say, I just need the music to put it to.' "

Hogan says O'Riordan's apparent stability is what made her death even more tragic and devastating. (Officials ruled O'Riordan's cause of death to be accidental drowning due to alcohol intoxication.) But after a period of mourning, the remaining band members remembered they still had O'Riordan's demos. As Hogan remembers, they finally had the courage to start listening to them again in late February and, with her family's permission, started recording in April. "We spoke to her family and said, 'Look, how do you feel about us finishing the album?' And they were really supportive," Lawler says. "They were delighted, actually. They gave us their blessing."

Hogan says, in a sense, they were used to O'Riordan not being in the studio when they recorded — "Dolores hated hanging around the studio once we worked on our parts" — but, of course, this time was different.

71) Raleigh Ritchie - “Time In A Tree”

Exercise time. Play the first minute or so of this song without looking at any YouTube visuals.

/waits for you

OK, who are you picturing singing this? Got your image?

Well, whatever it was, you’re wrong -- it’s GREY WORM HIMSELF.

This was the best thing about “Game of Thrones” in 2019, sadly.

70) Culture Abuse - “Goo”

Simple, effective, gets out before you can dislike much.

69) Lil Pump f/ Lil Wayne - “Be Like Me”

Sometimes, a song starts, and you can just tell it’s going to be ignorant. Even before the vocals kick in. This was probably our moment here:

Between that and the beat, it’s like the only thing you can think is “Ohhhh, he’s about to say some horrible things about women.”

Other choice lines:

- “Yes, I’m hella ignorant, I don’t give a fuck” (he even says it in the song)

- “I take drugs like it’s Vitamin C / I’m a millionaire, but I don’t know how to read”

This song almost feels like it existed already.

68) The Get Up Kids - “Satellite”

Finally, our first rock song with some punch. This probably takes the crown from both DMB and P.O.D.

67) Bad Religion - “My Sanity”

BR is historically my favorite band, so it is rather deflating to see them so far back on this list. That said, it is Year 40 (!!!) of their existence, so some can be forgiven. Yet... we’ve never needed them more, you know? It’s this weird mixture of resentment but understanding.

66) Billy Liar - “The Righteous & The Rats”

Gonna see him (them?) open for The Bombpops in March; looks quite promising. Has an old school Brit punk feel.

65) Beach Slang - “AAA”

Beach Slang never lets you forget they love -- no, like, LOVE -- The Replacements. When this cover dropped, I googled “replacements AAA”, and, surprisingly, nothing came up.

Ohhh, what I fool I was. After more digging, I discovered a band called Grandpaboy who performed “AAA”.

“Oh, damn -- he finally went outside the box with this pick.”

No. Grandpaboy is fronted by Paul Westerberg. Singer of, you guessed it, The Replacements.

James Alex wears his heart on his sleeve so hard, he might as well give the heart a little jacket so his heart can wear its own heart on its sleeve.

HE DID THAT TOO?!

You can’t even make jokes about this band; they live in the jokes with their damn earnestness.

64) Gesaffelstein & The Weeknd - “Lost In The Fire”

Even lesser known Weeknd-involved tracks sound like they could lead a soundtrack or close out a festival. Are you familiar with this one at all? It has 87 million views on YouTube. Abel is never not not playing.

63) FIDLAR - “By Myself”

Started from the bottom and I’m still at the bottom

Falling apart never felt so carefree and burdenless.

62) Constant Elevation - “Fuck Runnin”

As hardcore punk as this list is gonna get. All glory to Vinnie Caruana. Though none of his solo tracks from 2019 made it, this has an undeniable energy and confidence. Plus probably the best song title of the year.

61) Maren Morris f/ Brandi Carlile - “Common”

A focused duet that drills into relationship dynamics before throwing a personal theology wrench in the middle of the chorus.

60) Anti-Flag - “Christian Nationalist”

AF going in on the white, religious right. This is like throwing a 50 mph pitch to -- /looks up good baseball players -- Pete Alonso.

59) Cokie The Clown - “Punk Rock Saved My Life”

This is less of a song and more of a confessional essay, and it gets harder and harder to look away with every revealing detail. If NOFX’s Fat Mike needed this character as a vehicle to get all of these autobiographical details off his chest, hopefully it’s a helpful therapy.

58) White Reaper - “Might Be Right”

“Judy French” is such an untoppable song, but “Might Be Right” has a similar dynamic.

57) Denzel Curry - “RICKY”

Denzel Curry as a rap moniker is such a slam dunk.

/looks up actual name

!!!

56) Ariana Grande - “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored”

It takes a special kind of hot girl twisted to issue this unflinching request while totally pulling it off.

55) Goody Grace f/ blink-182 - “Scumbag”

Not sure if Goody is a Soundcloud rapper, punk rocker, or some kinda emo hybrid of both.

A few asides:

- Have we ever -- ever -- heard Travis Barker this subdued on drums?

- On the Blink-155 podcast, Goody said he gave Tom from the Plain White T’s a songwriting credit because he unintentionally lifted some melodies from “Hey There Delilah”, but... I really don’t hear it at all; like, it sounds maybe in the same key but not much else?

54) Jonas Brothers - “Sucker”

Despite their popularity in the past, I do not think I could name a single JoBros song. That changed in 2019 with this poppy, light, clappy, Maroon 5-style single.

53) Goo Goo Dolls - “Money, Fame & Fortune”

Someone -- coulda sworn it was Brendan Kelly -- said this was Goo Goo Dolls sounding like Fake Problems, and that is spot on.

52) AJJ - “A Poem”

A poem is song that no one cares about

This short, folky tune led to one of my favorite Twitter exchanges of the year, when I reached out to a music journalist with a question and AJJ came flying off the top rope.

51) DaBaby - “Suge”

This song is fun, but I really don’t get it. Beat is cool, flow is fine... this is the new face of hip-hop? His name is DaBaby! What are we doing here?!

50) Laura Stevenson - “Jesus, Etc.”

Taking a classic and doing it full justice/adding some harmonies.

49) blink-182 - “Not Another Christmas Song”

Blink’s 2019 album “Nine” was very, very bad because it tried too hard and was not good. This song, released later in the year, takes an opposite approach and actually works. We get lyrics that are discontent, even clumsy at times -- the “I miss fucking in the rain” line is so out of place/cringe-y but actually feels real and not workshopped by 10 producers. The trio can hopefully use this better b-side to figure out the best songwriting should flow out of you without having to go through multiple stations on a conveyor belt first.

48) Dave Hause - “Eye Aye I”

This song has a lot I love (catchy chorus, wistful thoughts, hairline analyses) and a lot I don’t (genuine use of the word “old bores”, Van Halen getting respect), but one thing is clear: Dave Hause is in complete control.

47) Beck - “Up All Night”

I’ve casually followed Beck’s entire career and would not have guessed this was him if given 100 chances. As an exercise, I’m going to pull up the 2020 Coachella lineup and randomly point to an artist.

/pulls up lineup and points

I got Daniel Caesar. If you told me this was Daniel Caesar, that would probably make more sense here.

46) Shawn Mendes - “If I Can’t Have You”

Randomly came into Shawn Mendes tickets in 2019, and good gracious, that was something. Other than parents, we were the oldest people there by a lot. Getting to watch thousands of teens and preteens legitimately having the best moment of their lives was downright inspiring. When you’re that young, it’s not even hyperbole. Phones were flagrantly out; I’m talking 20+ minutes of straight video being filmed. I wanted to judge so badly, but if you gave me an iPhone at my first concert when I was 14, who the hell knows how egregious my behavior would’ve been. As fun as the whole experience was, I never wanted to be in a grimy punk club more. Sometimes, leaving your comfort zone makes you appreciate your home base more.

This is a rock solid pop song, but there are way too many you/you rhymes to not penalize it some.

45) Big Thief - “Cattails”

The whitest song you will ever hear that isn’t written by Vampire Weekend.

44) Bayside - “Prayers”

Bayside went super metal with their 2019 release “Interrobang” (such a sick name). So yes, the guitars are a touch harder than you might be used to, but the chorus soars; a great hook transcends genre.

43) Naughty Boy & Mike Posner - “Live Before I Die”

Few had as interesting of a year as Mike Posner. Following a breakup, the death of his father, and the death of Avicii, he decided to walk across the United States of America. He legit became Forrest Gump, right down to the beard and grown out hair.

In the video, you can see how a snakebite hospitalized him and almost derailed the whole trek. After a rehabilitation period where he almost lost his leg, our man finally makes it to the Pacific Ocean. If nothing else, watch for the ending -- it’s exhilarating.

42) Post Malone - “Wow.”

Post is flexing in this one; we’ve got slow motion jamming with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, international flights, a dancing beard guy, and a Fall Out Boy name check which really makes them sound cooler than they are now.

41) Bryce Vine f/ YG - “La La Land”

Sometimes, these summertime Cali songs write themselves. That is until YG comes in and flips over the board before you can finish the game. By the time the Coachella reference is dropped when Bryce comes back in, you realize 1:47 may have actually been a better endpoint for the song than its 2:47 length.

40) David Rokos - “Backseat Drives”

It’s winter in Chicago, again and until forever. If you haven’t been to the Jewel in the South Loop or Marshall Field’s before they changed it, just listen to this so you don’t actually have to.

39) Simple Creatures - “Drug”

Mark Hoppus and the dude from All Time Low give us this synth-pop bop that feels like the duo shooting their shot at a real mainstream pop hits. It didn’t quite get there, but they should feel OK about where it landed.

38) Chris Cresswell - “To The Wind”

My interest in The Flatliners ramped up considerably in 2019, as their near decade old record “Cavalcade” got plenty of spins (peep “Filthy Habits”; just stunningly incredible punk). Though they did not release anything this year, their singer put out “To The Wind”, a longing song about missing someone.

37) Kesha f/ Big Freedia - “Raising Hell”

Kesha, with the help of New Orleans’ Big Freedia, gives us another one. I’ve personally dug Kesha for a while now, but when is it time for us as a society to put her into the all-time conversation for pop artists? She has at least, like, seven HOF certifiable bangers. Plus she kills a guy in this music video.

In conclusion, I think this could translate to a country song very easily.

36) No Lenox - “Marquee”

Illinois/Japan’s No Lenox are back with Reuben Baird on the mixer and legendary masterer Collin Jordan (of The Boiler Room) on the, well, master, and the fullness in sound leads to the assault that is the “I saw your name on the marquee / Your friends were milling around outside” part. They only play it once, but I really could’ve gone for closer to five.

35) Red City Radio - “Love A Liar”

Rapid fire Red City Radio gets this one done in exactly 120 seconds.

34) Barely March - “Lead Single”

This sounds like Joyce Manor turned up to a 17 out of 10 before unexpectedly turning into a hellogoodbye song.

33) New Lenox - “Old Words”

Not a typo from two songs ago -- legitimately a different band. This one was written by your boy. The first 15 seconds were from a demo recorded 1/2/16 before developing the rest in 2019 (after some encouragement). We have Dave Rokos on guitar/bass, Dave Hernandez on hums, and Brian Bedford on some very temporary sleigh bells. Themes: online dating, resolutions, exes, currents, Black Wednesday, hope, and Carly Rae Jepsen stage banter.

32) MakeWar - “Sails”

Honey, I can’t make it on my own

You might get some Gaslight Anthem vibes as the vocals come in, but by the time the song ends, MakeWar leaves their own imprint on this impassioned ballad.

31) Sheryl Crow & Johnny Cash - “Redemption Day”

Was gonna say Johnny’s voice could move mountains before realizing no, Johnny’s voice is the mountains.

30) American Football f/ Hayley Williams - “Uncomfortably Numb”

Sensitivity deprived I can't feel a thing inside I blamed my father in my youth Now as a father, I blame the booze

An unlikely collaboration that makes you forget about its unlikeliness by the two minute mark. The two voices trade spots, mesh, harmonize, and weave throughout this beautiful song.

Asides:

- Blake from “Workaholics” in the video?!

- Choose to interpret this song’s title as a Pink Floyd diss

- “I’ll make new friends in the ambulance” should be a 2005-level emo lyric that we all mock, yet it’s somehow one of the most stunningly appropriate closers of the entire year

- I wish my friend Luke was with us to hear it

29) Stuck Out Here - “Embarrass You”

Stuck Out Here got onto my radar with 2014′s amazingly named “Getting Used To Feeling Like Shit”. Five years later, they’re back -- and not feeling much better. The Toronto quartet’s Bandcamp describes the song like this:

They’re fucking up, but unlike previous releases, they’re finally holding themselves accountable.

You can even kinda hear their Canadian accents in the “I’m sorry I embarrass you...” part.

28) The Weeknd - “Heartless”

The Weeknd will be on these lists as long as he continues to make music even 1/8th as good as this.

27) The Chainsmokers f/ blink-182 - “P.S. I Hope You’re Happy”

A simple song that’s a touch more clever than you first realize. The Chainsmokers guy is giving me some real Owl City vibes. Also, how airtight of an apology is the line “I blame myself for when I was someone else”. It’s like the modern way of saying “When I was a child, I spoke like a child”.

Also also, the “I will find a way somehow...” harmony in the pre-chorus is as pretty as music got in 2019. The Chainsmokers are so sonically pleasing, whether you end up liking the music or not.

26) Vampire Weekend - “Harmony Hall”

ooooooooh, that crisp guitar in the intro

25) Alex Lahey - “Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself”

If Carly Rae Jepsen can get a sword, why can’t Alex Lahey get a god damn saxophone? HIT ME.

That solo, combined with the “Mighty Ducks” reference in the chorus, make this song untouchable.

24) Lizzo - “Truth Hurts”

Let’s be clear: this did drop in 2017 but was technically re-released in 2019, so it does qualify for our list despite the criteria threatening timeline. Anyway.

The walking piano part, the iconic intro line (with a lawsuit!), the Minnesota Vikings reference (causing a Green Bay radio edit), and all of the damn positivity. Lizzo was among music’s big winners this year, and her success made you wonder how the hell someone this talented was slept on for those two years.

Let’s end with the purse.

23) An Horse - “Ship Of Fools”

Awkward band name, but a song that makes you pay attention. Kinda like Tegan and Sara, had they stayed more rock. So much urgency in the vocals and lyrics.

22) Charli XCX f/ Lizzo - “Blame It On Your Love”

Trippy vid; Charli continues to give us anthems. Wasn’t super high on the Lizzo cameo, but it somehow made more sense in the context of said video.

21) Sincere Engineer - “Dragged Across The Finish Line”

Sincere Engineer is back -- you can tell from the second those guitar leads get goin’. Drums from 1:19 to 1:36 = /heart eyes emoji. My buddy Cox said his next tattoo very well could be the outro lyric “Too dumb to succeed, too honest to cheat”.

(Bonus fact: they did a beer collaboration/show with Pollyanna Brewing Company in 2019.)

20) Lil Nas X - “Old Town Road”

Was unwilling to listen when this first dropped solely because of how horrible Lil Nas X’s name is (”What if a rapper came out named ‘Lil Jay-Z X’?!”)... what a foolish notion. One billion streams and a Billy Cyrus cameo later, I wouldn’t have been able to miss out on the Song of the Summer (and year) if I tried. More notes:

- Picked this because I had to, but “Panini” is legit good (200+ million streams)

- Went with the original (sorry, Billy), which is a beautiful 1:53 long (brevity, brevity, brevity)

- Did you know: Lil Nas X uses a Nine Inch Nails sample on the beat? This Rolling Stone interview with Trent Reznor is super interesting

Reznor calls “Old Town Road” “undeniably hooky,” but once it exploded, he took a back seat to the phenomenon. “The reason I haven’t stepped in to comment anything about it is, I don’t feel it’s my place to play any kind of social critic to that,” he says. “It was a material that was used in a significant way and it turned into something that became something else, and those guys should be the ones the spotlight is on…. They asked if I wanted to do a cameo in the video, and it was flattering, and I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I don’t feel like it’s my place to shine a light on me for that. I say that with complete respect.”

Still, Reznor is amazed at how the song became a juggernaut. “Having been listed on the credits of the all-time, Number One whatever-the-fuck-it-is wasn’t something…I didn’t see that one coming,” he says. “But the world is full of weird things that happen like that. It’s flattering. But I don’t feel it’s for me to step in there and pat myself on the back for that.”

19) Gryffin & Carly Rae Jepsen - “OMG”

What doesn’t this little bop have? It’s kinda Chainsmoker-y and tingles like cool breath hitting the back of your neck.

18) Craig Finn - “Blankets”

You travel your whole life just to get out to the place you’re gonna die

I love everything about this song: the artwork, the intro, the climax, the command Craig Finn has from start to finish -- with such a payoff. Now several albums in, the greatest compliment we can give is that his solo stuff now feels more essential than Hold Steady releases*. You can even hear it in this line: “When we got to the Twin Cities / I said ‘Man, I know some songs about this place’”. Another life.

17) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Now That I Found You”

Carly always keeps us in the sky; picking one song was difficult because the album is even more fulfilling as you get to put the pieces together.

16) Billie Eilish - “Bad Guy”

Different genres*, but Billie Eilish lived up to her hype in the exact same way Lana Del Rey did in the earlier part of the decade. Lana said she was the gangster Nancy Sinatra and totally fucking was. Billie feels like something potentially even bigger. Nearly everything about her aura lets you project (or even second guess, if you’re a skeptic). Is she dead-eyed because she’s high or disaffected? Or just Aubrey Plaza? Is it her or her brother that’s pulling the strings? How can someone so young be so good already? In the skinny fashion era of All Achilles Everything, how is she rocking such loose fits?

“I never want the world to know everything about me. I mean that’s why I wear big baggy clothes,” she said. “Nobody can have an opinion because they haven’t seen what’s underneath.”

“Nobody can be like ‘Oh, she’s slim-thick, she’s not slim-thick, she’s got a flat ass, she’s got a fat ass,’” she continued. “No one can say any of that because they don’t know.”

It almost seems too easy, but how much sense does that make to you?

Great jokes aside, I have so much anticipation for what’s next, with assured belief in its potential. Pitchfork:

In 10 years, she will still be well under 30. Let’s hope the planet survives that long.

Yes.

(* - though not totally)

15) Ben Gibbard - “Filler”

Before you check Gibbard’s, please listen to the original by Minor Threat. That’s what he had to work with. From there, a total transformation while doing the near impossible -- keeping its beating heart.

14) Martha - “Wrestlemania VIII”

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Third favorite song title of the year/favorite music video of the year. This is energetic, bratty punk at its finest; also surprised to find out it was British, but, based on the upcoming tour dates and YouTube description...

This is a silly & frankly quite rubbish video but when you are a band trapped within surveillance capitalism's endless hunger for content trying to promote a tour sometimes things will be a silly & frankly quite rubbish.

I love them. Seriously didn’t even notice the accents in the singing until I knew to look for them; now, it’s all I can hear. Also, the part in the video where they finally show someone with an instrument, only he stops playing guitar halfway into the solo (/crying emoji).

THEY SAY ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDA

13) Chance The Rapper f/ Ben Gibbard - “Do You Remember”

Chance The Rapper dropped a one hour and 17 minute album in 2019 because he is a monster. I could not name three songs on it, but this one stood out big. It’s Chano doing what he does best: reminiscing and evoking summer in his city. Gibbard on the hook gives it that 2005 nostalgia while also making you say “Damn, it’s been nearly 15 years since 2005?!”

Fav two lines:

1) “Used to have obsession with the ‘27 Club’ / Now I'm turning 27, wanna make it to the 2070 club / Put the 27's down, Lord, give me a clean lung / Took the ring up out the box, I know this ain't no brief love”

2) “That summer left a couple tan lines / I love my city, they let me cut the line on the Dan Ryan”

(If you know, you know.)

Two more asides:

- If you Google “death cab for cutie”, the next autofill from there is “do you remember”. Rough for the legacy.

- “My daughter on the swing like the 2017 Cubs” is a line that confused me, but here’s how Genius explained it:

Chance is talking about a memorable summer and the things that made him happy. This line continues that theme when he raps about his daughter happily on a swing and how that’s similar to the 2017 Cubs. The Chicago Cubs won the World Series in 2016; therefore, the 2017 season was one of celebration and relaxation as the pressure of the 108 year drought was over.

12) Lana Del Rey - “The Greatest”

I miss Long Beach, and I miss you...

Listening to this song feels like watching the cement dry on a classic in real time. Lana Del Rey’s galactic “Norman Fucking Rockwell!” dominated lists at the end of 2019, and she -- to borrow her word -- fucking deserved it.

- The Beach Boys line is so god damn perfect

- The guitar solo (soooo sick)

- The breathy singing; the crooning; the notes that go up and then down until you’re surrounded by melody

- The perfection of this album name (minus the very iffy exclamation point) will have me comparing nearly any other all-time album title for probably the rest of our lives

- Tried playing this album during my Monday night pickup basketball run, and it very much failed... but that’s about the only thing it couldn’t do

- I’m told the dude with her on the album cover is Jack Nicholson’s grandson (named Duke Nicholson, because of course)

11) Off With Their Heads - “No Love”

If you do not like punk rock, this will be unlistenable. If you do, what a treat! I love how dissatisfied and put off he sounds, and, while there are a few more lively songs remaining on the list, none in 2019 got fast-tracked to my workout/pump up playlist at this speed.

Factoring in the band’s van accident (occurred after the release of this song), the “There’s nothing I could say that’s ever gonna make it right” outro becomes hauntingly clairvoyant.

10) Drake f/ Rick Ross - “Money In The Grave”

We need to face facts: it was a down year for stadium hip-hop. Nowhere on this list do you see Jay, Em, Kendrick, or Kanye (rest in peace). This was my favorite rap song of the year, and it couldn’t even crack the Top 5. Similar to his beloved Raptors -- who are being celebrated here -- it’s almost as if Drake needed some injuries outside his own locker room to get the crown. But I’m done being bummed, let’s focus on the good:

- Ohhhh, the intro (”I mean where. the fuck. should I. really even start?”)

- The way he says “grave” in the hook like he can barely contain

- The hook itself -- read it out loud: “When I die, put my money in the grave”

- How cool Ross sounds when he breaks in

- The Zion reference

The bad:

- Rarely take this angle, but really wouldn’t mind if it were longer

- Misogyny

9) PUP - “Bloody Mary, Kate And Ashley”

Second favorite song title of the year, 6/8 time signature, satanic references, drugs, hallucinations (maybe), and, yes, the Olsen twins.

8) Better Oblivion Community Center - “Sleepwalkin’”

“It’s impossible to count...”

The intro, as the tempo gets jarringly slower and slower, ironically helps you acclimate quicker. This Phoebe Bridgers/Conor Oberst collab was my No. 1 played track of 2019 (the album coming out in January definitely helped). The song builds to Phoebe’s solo part:

You like beer and chocolate I like setting off those bottle rockets We can never compromise But fighting 'til the death keeps us alive

It’s sung so well, you can almost feel the heat of the spotlight on her through the stereo. The lyrics could be anything.

The chill guitar solo takes us out.

7) AM Taxi - “Saint Jane”

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Adam Krier is such a rockstar, he had me shouting “I’m no hero, at best a zero!” within my fifth listen -- and I was skeptical as hell when I first heard the line. But that’s about where it stopped. You can tell this song is going to rip even before the vocals come in. When they do (”These fears don’t die, you get older and they multiply”), it’s just fucking time to go.

6) Taylor Swift - “Paper Rings”

My favorite pop song of 2019. Tay is firing on all cylinders; every lyric is exactly where it’s supposed to be; boppy and fun and sincere (while still being light-hearted). Still holding out minor hope it will be a single in 2020.

5) Pkew Pkew Pkew - “The Polynesian”

I’ve always said the best songs make you want to live the lyrics, whether they are positive or negative. This one had me researching “polynesian wisconsin” faster than I’m comfortable disclosing. And yes “bed bugs” and “needles” were both in the Top 7 recommended searches after those first two words.

Pkew Pkew Pkew collaborated with Craig Finn on some of their lyrics on 2019′s “Optimal Lifestyles”, and I’d be blown away if he doesn’t have fingerprints on this one -- the storytelling is pristine. Go into this open-minded, and I’d be shocked if you weren’t shouting the “Goatees, tall cans, camo pants, and Packers fans” mantra by the end.

Bonus story: this St. Patrick’s day in Chicago, I asked my friend Sara (Wisconsin native) if she’d ever stayed there, and she held up her elbow and showed me a scar from the hotel’s water slide. Your boy was over the moon.

4) Spanish Love Songs - “Losers”

It gets harder, doesn’t it?

Dylan Slocum has a way of not just writing depressing songs -- many lyricists are good at that -- but specifically depressing songs. This song contemplates death, homelessness, squandering your limited time on the planet, credit card debt, leeching off your parents because you have no other choice, crippling illness, and completely giving up because there genuinely is no other choice. The last lines are, without any hint of winking, “We’re mediocre. We’re losers. Forever.”

It’s wonderful.

Two straight Top 4 finishes for SLS; their 2020 album should be something special.

3) oso oso - “the view”

If Jade Lilitri is making personal progress in “microscopic strides”, you wouldn’t be able to tell by his songwriting. Every tune has a way of warming up your entire body and being. This grabs you, whether it’s the laid back guitar or the mismatched quick drums or the big ass chorus. While it came down to this one or “basking in the glow” (an actual single), the bridge here puts us over the top:

But not as much as the phone ringing Not as much playing my house Not as much as the way her goddamn voice sounds It's like taking in sun And then taking it back I fall into old habits I'm stepping over your cracks again

Her voice? This song.

2) The Menzingers - “Strangers Forever”

This song makes me want to rip up walls, sprint through streets with no destination, shred my lungs screaming off rooftops, bash hands drumming the steering wheel until my sprained fingers beg me to stop. It is such a perfect encapsulation of my favorite band of the decade and possibly of all-time.

Scranton’s sons gave me everything and more from 2010 through 2019, so it’s fitting they end so high here. This is probably the most clownable sentence of them all, but I am so constantly thankful I am alive to experience Greg Barnett’s songwriting. What he creates, I can only compare to the best books or movies or athletes or even personal relationships.

The way the guitar alternates in the headphones to start, the drums that go big and push the song along, the reverb vox that certainly could have less reverb, the “it is what it is”-style lyric of “My miserable memory’s making me more miserable”, the oceanic imagery, the quiet bridge that explodes into a final chorus. Barnett said the overall theme was inspired by Leo Tolstoy’s “Anna Karenina”.

In it, the character Darya Alexandrovna learns of her husbands infidelity and declares: “Even if we remain in the same house, we are strangers — strangers forever!” The idea of becoming a stranger to someone you so intimately know stuck with me, and became the overarching narrative to this song. Dolly’s statement is definitive, but she also realizes the trappings of 19th century patriarchal Russian society. It’s a complex conundrum, and while lyrically I speak in the first person, this song exists in a world outside of my own personal experiences. I wanted to write about the finality of relationships that need to end this way. Strangers Forever.

My only gripe is I wish there were more. But I’m the same person who never wants them to stop.

1) Signals Midwest f/ Sincere Engineer - “Your New Old Apartment”

Only one song could make me fear missing the chance to be with the love of my life the same year I married her. As discussed in “The Polynesian”, the best songs have the consistent ability to put you in someone else’s shoes. You are either reliving something you personally experienced or maybe taking it all in for the first time. And that can be powerful -- especially dealing with anything big picture.

“Your New Old Apartment” launches me into 2009 without ever asking. Age: 23. My life was transient, I had no career, I didn’t even believe in marriage. I left my retail job in the Chicago suburbs for an unpaid newspaper internship in New Jersey. When I saw the people I loved, I always tried to make it count. Still do.

The descriptors and feeling are suffocating, right from the jump:

I only saw you a couple times last year Once at a wedding, once at a funeral I wore the same clothes to both, and I was worried you would notice ‘cause yours were impeccable

That’s me, then. Not knowing how to dress but hoping to get by anyway. I remember talking to my buddy P before buying my “work clothes” and learning you needed to match your shoes with your belt. Boyish adulthood.

The song continues, and the narrator is filled in on 5-year plans. It may be cliche to speak, but every current moment is simultaneously your youngest and oldest. Being in my early 30s now, it is so easy to scoff at anyone’s best laid plans, but I’m also the same cat who thought The Wonder Years’ “Jesus Christ, I’m 26 / All the people I graduated with / All have kids, all have wives, all have people who care if they come home at night” was life-defining, because I was the same age when that dropped, and it always hits the hardest when it’s all around you.

What I love about these lyrics are the careful observation mixed with mature-behind-his-years restraint. For a very long time in my life, I did not think I would get to be with my wife as anything more than a friend. When you are forced to come to terms with those potential realities, you must make concessions and convince yourself they’re OK. So when it’s revealed the narrator’s muse is married, he resigns himself to hopefully seeing the person more and at least being adjacent to the life they are living. It is tragic but still something. It is alternate hope in the hopeless.

I can picture myself listening to this song that wasn’t yet written while leaving a 2009 or 2010 or 2013 wedding and wishing I told her everything. But I wouldn’t have -- not then. I would have poured my heart out into a diary and quoted a line or three from this at the bottom. But that was then, this is now.

In 2019, her new old apartment will be my new old apartment, and that will never be lost on me.

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Bonus coverage. Since we are at the end of the decade, I rounded up our No. 1 song from each year and have that below:

2010: The Menzingers - “Time Tables” 2011: Jay-Z & Kanye West - “Gotta Have It” 2012: Carly Rae Jepsen - “Call Me Maybe” 2013: Kanye West - “On Sight” 2014: The Menzingers - “Where Your Heartache Exists” 2015: Big Sean f/ Kanye West - “All Your Fault” 2016: The Menzingers - “Lookers” 2017: The Menzingers - “After The Party” 2018: Horror Squad - “I Smoke The Blood” 2019: Signals Midwest f/ Sincere Engineer - “Your New Old Apartment”

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It’s time to stop writing. Thank you so much for reading.

Spotify playlist is here, featuring 70 of the 75.

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