#but in context of the whole album i think it's more about the guy from vampire (who it seems all of the heartbreak songs are about)

[yiangchen]

i'm actually so obsessed with the sequencing on guts. we start off with all american bitch, which is all about the frustrations of being a girl and feeling boxed in by society. it's the perfect intro into the album. then bad idea right starts off the story, where olivia is aware she's making a mistake reconnecting with an ex but does it anyway. in vampire we find out why it was a mistake and that this person was just using her and taking advantage of her innocence/naivety. part of the reason that she fell into this person's trap is explained in lacy, which introduces her struggles with worshipping girls that are prettier than her, causing her to seek the validation of an older guy. with ballad of a homeschooled girl, the downward spiral continues and she's listing all of her mistakes (but in a fun way), and by making the bed, she admits that she's partly to blame for what's happened (but in a sad way). she's choosing to party and hang around people that don't give a fuck about her, and she's pushing away her real friends who would want her to snap out of it. she's aware she's fucking up, but she can't bring herself to do anything about it, so she keeps on making the same mistakes and blaming herself. logical continues that train of thought, about how she's partially responsible for her pain, but specifically in relation to (who i assume is) the same guy from vampire. she gets angry again in get him back, and she's so conflicted, wanting to hurt him and be with him again all at the same time, which is kind of embarrassing, leading into love is embarrassing, but in grudge, we learn that she's just not ready to let go yet. pretty isn't pretty brings us back to her insecurities aka the reasons why she's let societal expectations and boys hold so much power and control over her. finally, teenage dream ends the album with her wondering if she's wasted her teenage years yearning to be older and wiser, and fearing that "it will get better" is a myth, which is literally the reason for her struggles throughout the album, bringing everything full circle i-

[centralperkspoison]

I Can See You - G. Way

PAIRING: Gerard Way x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: sexual references, a little fluffy.

SUMMARY: You and Gerard have known each other for years. When you finally confess to him, everything works out! But how do you keep it as a secret? (Based loosely on I Can See You by Taylor Swift)

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

OTHERS: me posting? whattttt?! this was highly inspired by the song I Can See You by Taylor Swift, so I recommend listening to that while you read. Also, I haven't posted a fic in like a year this is crazy. also!!! not my usual work, not that much fluff just more back story. idk i have wrote in a while so im sorry!

---

YOU KEPT EVERYTHING PROFESSIONAL. You and him only showed your true emotions behind closed doors. You'd brush past each other in the hallways most of the time ensuring to not let anyone catch on.

Of course, you and Gerard were friends to the public eye. You and him were the two lead singers of My Chemical Romance, but what happened behind closed doors stayed there.

You'd moved next door to the Way family when you were fairly young, quickly becoming friends with the two brothers despite the slight age differences; Mikey was three years older than you and Gerard was six years older, which is why in the beginning everything had to be quiet. But of course, you had kept your feelings for the nerdy older brother hidden since you were six, so that wouldn't be too hard.

When the band began recording for Bullets you had just turned eighteen and Gerard was almost twenty-five, which is when it first started.

-

"Why don't I understand basic song structure," You groaned. "You clearly have it down."

Gerard scoffed, "I do not have it down whatsoever, I just actually ask for input unlike someone who's stubborn as hell." He laughed. 

It was only the two of you on the bus, the rest of the guys were inside a restaurant buying breakfast while before you traveled four hours to only record half the album for Bullets.

"Here, bring it over so I can look at it." He said, sitting up on the couch on the bus. You slowly walked towards him, hoping he wouldn't realize who it was about. You silently hoped he couldn't tell, then sat next to him and handed him the lyrics you had written so far. He began analyzing them and handed them back to you.

"It's good, but the bridge should have more meaning. You've described this person in such a beautiful light, then the bridge is just happily ever after? Include some of the struggle in the relationship." You nod, beginning to write. He watches you closely from over your shoulder causing you to face the other way and lay down on him so he could get a better view. This was nothing unusual for you two, it was normal for you to lay on him or anyone else in the band.

You took his words into consideration, then started writing lyrics along the lines of 'If only he knew,' and 'I could see you being my addiction, you could see me as a secret mission.' along with some more context.

"Hey, (Y/N)?" He called, you could feel his heart speed up from your spot on his chest. "Yes, Gee?" You say, looking up at him. "Who is this about?" He asked quietly, playing with your long hair. You dropped your pencil and sat up, facing him. "Is that really important right now?" "I mean not really, I'm just a bit curious." He says with a slight smirk across his face. You just shrug and walk to where you were sitting previously to the whole song structure conversation. Once you sit down, he began speaking again.

"I mean of course the description sounds a little similar, short black hair, hazel eyes, crooked smile," He says, walking behind your chair and gripping it and looking down at you from over the back of the tall chair. "I would say Frank, but his hair doesn't exactly fall under that category anymore, and when you think about it, I'm the only one with short black hair now." He smirks. He already knew, but he was just trying to play around and have a little fun before he had to make his own scary confession.

"God, okay Gerard, the song is about you." You roll your eyes trying to make it come out as if you're not afraid to say it. "Wait, you're actually admitting it?" "Yes, I have a big fat crush on you, now can you please just turn me down already so I can get over it sooner." You sigh, and he walks around your chair so you two are facing each other now. 

"(Y/N), I'm not rejecting you," He smiles. "C'mere." He says, opening his arms for a hug, and you quickly throw yourself in his arms. You two linger in the hug for a while before you take a step back and look up at him. You two were so close your noses were touching. 

"May I?" He asks, moving his hand up so he's cupping your jaw. You lean into his touch and nod.

-

After you two established your feelings, your situationship turned into a relationship that ranged from sweet moments to insanely sexual ones, not that you had a problem with that, of course. It was just difficult keeping it from your best friends.

Eventually, fans began sniffing the two of you out. How you would always sit next to each other in interviews, when you were on stage you would always seem as if you were singing to him and he was singing to you, when they watched Life On The Murder Scene every time there was a video on the bus you'd have your legs sprawled out on top of his or you'd be laying on him, and even away from the bus he'd always send you looks.

You started seeing the fans reactions on Twitter in the two of your comment sections.

(Y/N)(Y/L/N): Day off with my boys! <3

mcrlover616: OMG R U AND GERARD DATING

frerard4li4e: Gerard belongs to Frank, girl. Back off.

bugmomma24356: You and Gerard are so cute ug! <3

After trying to cover up everything to the best of your abilities, nothing made them believe you, even your own band mates started thinking the two of you were together, so you two had to act more distant. 

No more laying on him, no more lingering hugs, and definitely no more making out on stage just to "make the crowd go wild". 

-

The two of you had to be entirely secret for almost a year now, and it was the first night of your new tour, Rise Against the Black Parade. 

Gerard brushes his shoulder against yours in the hallway while you two walk into the dressing room, shooting you a look. "Oh sorry, (Y/N)." He says quietly and slides his arm across your back before sitting two seats away from you in the dressing room. 

Makeup took a while, but you and Gerard were the last to finish. Once your artists left the room he sprung up to lock the door, and quickly met you in the middle of the room. 

He rested his hands on your hips and you hand your arms on the back of his neck, while he pressed his lips to yours aggressively. You parted from him for a moment, "Now don't go messing up our makeup," You smirked. "We can fix it ourselves." He grunts, picking you up and placing you on the counter.

The two of you were in there for a total of five minutes before someone started knocking on the dressing room door, causing you to jump like two teenagers caught by parents. "Hello? Who's in there, we need to change!" You hear Frank say from the other side of the door. The two of you quickly check your makeup to make sure it wasn't messed up, then you walked to the door to unlock it before turning to Gerard.

"You know, if stopped hiding... it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world." You said and he began to shake his head. "The age difference, (Y/N)." "It's six years, Gee. At least it's not like twenty or thirty like some other couples." You say, causing him to shrug. "I guess it's not the worst thing in the world." 

You walk over and unlock the door allowing Frank to come in with the costume cart. Once he realized it was the two of you he gasped. "You?" He said pointing to Gerard, "And you?" He said pointing to you. You turn to Gerard and tilt your head. "Yeah yeah, big deal." He said walking over to wrap an arm around your waist.  That night was one of your best shows yet. You two started showing affection on stage once again, you put your emotion back into your lyrics, and you even got a chance to preform the song you wrote for Gerard that started the whole relationship.

[taylortruther]

Hi Rae - I have a question for you about I hate it here - I saw this TikTok (actually was sent it… which personal sigh) about the 1830’s line and how it was indicative of white feminism and how because of the line majorly simplifying things that were happening back all using what’s happening with the Arizona abortion ban as an example of why this line is ‘incredibly harmful and problematic’. Which, like of course I don’t want to police anyone who does feel certain things about the line, because not my place but I guess… I feel like people keep taking that line out of context when I think she even shames herself for thinking that way, but they just want to focus on that part of it. I feel very seen by this song and I dont want to appear that I’m being attacked by it. How you would talk about all of it without discrediting the issues people have with this line?

Here’s the video for clearer understanding: https://www.instagram.com/p/C6FqiJZLWV9/

i admit i didn't watch the whole video, but i get the gist. my take on it is the same as yours, personally. i love the song, it's one of my favorites on the album!

i think the point of that line is to note how the past can't be romanticized as simpler, better, etc. because... it wasn't. the past still sucked, and taylor is acknowledging that even in a "palace," she would still be unhappy. it draws a parallel between the past and present: they're not so dissimilar, the same problems exist in different forms.

some people will think it's bad taste - my note from my first listen was "this is annoying." i do think that game has always been more fun for white people! my little friends played it when i was a kid and i'd always be like, "well, i'd love to live in x time period, but i'd have to go back as a white guy..." - PLUS, a lot of people simply do not want to hear this from taylor. which is fine! feel however you want!

but i think we should all just become more comfortable with saying "yeah, i didn't like that," rather than endlessly moralizing it. maybe it's not sophisticated or funny to some people, but i think that line does address the exact thing people are criticizing about it.

[catty-words]

thoughts about wallsocket (2023) that i know you were all itching for because i've obviously convinced you all to be as head over heels for this artist as i am:

- the first listen felt a little draggy and i thought the busyness of the tracks was unfocused, which i was prepared to be bummed about because that's an element of underscores' music that i really enjoy for reasons both straightforward (sounds make brain go brrrr) and deep (as an artist, i think her preoccupation with distraction and having to be the Shiniest to hold attention - individual or cultural - really complements the production style). but!

- the good news is i fell so fucking hard for every track by the second listen and i think the inertia i felt was mainly between 'duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' and 'you don't even know who i am' and by my third or forth listen, i was finding them the most engaging tracks on the album.

- good luck being the album's mantra makes me want to suffocate on velvet idk. in context, it's as dark as the whole of boneyard aka fearmonger (2021) but there's also a through line in underscores' work of her being exceptionally lucky (see "lonesharks", "horror movie soundtrack") and it feels as much like a helpless platitude as it does like a magical spell she's casting to keep us safe. which - themes!! and things/people/circumstances being so much of one thing they loop back around to being that thing's polar opposite.

- speaking of, the johnny of "johnny johnny johnny" validating the narrator's identity while also preying on her is my favorite vehicle for that theme so far.

- "shoot to kill, kill your darlings" is the first track i fell head over heels for, on the first listen and everything. and i keep getting more out of it with subsequent listens. think of me when you listen to this one, please. 💙

- when the "kinko's field trip 2006" hit???? reader i got CHILLS. literally shivered about it and it got me on listen two and three, as well. i don't think i've fully grappled with what its incorporation into wallsocket (2023) is trying to accomplish, but i do know it worked on me, like, a little too well. gonna be insane about it for the foreseeable future, gnashing my teeth as i type this in fact.

- i've had "cops and robbers" since it was released in may and somehow it wasn't until listening today that the full story really sunk in? like, i managed to hear i resurrect the dead and i'm not the bad guy, like it's just sitting there fully for the first time today? and, god, was the good luck-ing always in the mix? songs gaining new meaning in the context of their albums my beloved. album openers my beloved.

- does "you don't even know who i am" sample claptrap from borderlands? if not, that's still what the backing mantra on the track puts me in mind of, which gives the song a very compelling 'people vs technology' read that i've been getting a lot out of.

- underscores, i am pledging my allegiance to you.

[9w1ft]

hi. with a lot of the messaging and context of the album of leaving behind her persona and a probable rebirth - do we think we'll get to see more of karlie back in her life? maybe the kids also? jerk and the footy guy are still in the picture

*looks into crystal ball*

i think this year it’s unlikely, but my unscientific opinion might change if taylor shows up at the met gala (it’s been reported she isn’t going so im not expecting it). speaking more long term, i think over time it’s likely to happen.

and if it is to happen, i don’t think it’s contingent on josh and/or travis being gone when it does—ive said this before in an indirect way, but, upon ttpd release i feel more strongly about suggesting directly. that im pretty sure that’s the lesson from dear reader (and this whole matty saga, to be topical). there’s something for everyone in dear reader. some gaylors might say taylor is telling swifties that they don’t know her (because she’s gay), some kaylors might say taylor is telling gaylors that they should find another guiding light if her dating karlie would upset them. but what should kaylors be taking away from dear reader? what might taylor do that might upset some kaylors?

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

I miss Joe. The Joe and Taylor I thought was going on. I find it hard to believe it’s over and this is the new guy. It’s just not real. He must have been totally different from what we knew in the music. I think some of the music she said was fiction was actually real but disguised for privacy. Do you think she’s just distracting herself to get through tour?

That’s what my friend said last weekend. She doesn’t listen to Taylor’s music or know anything about her, but she also just broke up last Nov with her longtime boyfriend of 8 years.

They were supposed to get married in January. And he changed his mind. She said she needed a lot of distractions just to keep from thinking about it too much and that’s probably what Taylor is doing now just to cope especially with everyone watching every little thing she does.

It's a wild adjustment and crazy condensed timeline of a lot of drastic changes - I understand that it's a lot (some might even say too much!) to process and the default reaction to feeling overwhelmed sometimes is simply to reject it all. I get it.

The thing about Taylor is that one of her most truly accurate depictions of herself is in the line "Lover" itself: Swear to be overdramatic and true to my ... lover.

Taylor is a writer first and foremost. She is optimistic and passionate and fiery and loves love. We have ten albums worth of songs about people she once loved, and loved with the sun exploding, I-put-my-whole-heart-hips-body-soul into. And every single picture she captured was an emotion or a moment or a fleeting feeling she tapped into that was real to her once.

"I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep" "I loved you from the very first day" "The one real thing you've ever known" "Please don't be in love with someone else" "I realized I loved you in the fall" "I never knew I could feel that much" "We're bulletproof / You know for me, it's always you"

To be painted by Taylor's loving brush is tender and alive and real and poetry set to a score. And isn't it crazy that all of those lines are about different people and different lives and loves she's felt? And those being past doesn't mean they died there or stayed there or are no longer real. It's all still present tense because she's still here and living (laughing loving). And we're going to get the next chapter depicting this part of her life when the time is right that will hopefully provide more context and vivid shades of her life for us to get emotionally ripped apart by.

Breakups are never easy and I'm sure she's feeling a billion different emotions every single second. And truly yes a classic Taylor move is evade and distract yourself from the deep feelings you're feeling ... until you give yourself permission and space to really feel them. At which point we will get: See previous para.

[mapsofnonexistentplaces]

25 for end of year asks!

25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

GODDAMN DID I! came up with most of the ghosts in ccs this year and it was fun but i think i’m gonna soapbox a bit about the facsimiles because i haven’t really anywhere else….

these guys have technically existed in the narrative since last summer but i hadn’t really developed them nor designed them until like. literally this summer so about an entire year later. their whole deals just being sentient bits of code derived from the memories of two other existing characters. person who made them (marjolaine) has been experimenting with evolving human consciousness from raw code and the facsimiles endeavour was basically just another expression of that with the addendum of an animate human origin point

in the past i’ve like described these two as “new shoots of a plant growing from the same root of an established organism” because they both arise from younger incarnations of their bases and have like. basically fully split apart in ego despite maintaining the memories and foundation of them.

these two guys also just basically exist in the computer. which is also the sky of the entire world. don’t worry about it. but they don’t exist corporeally and can only really commune through a computer interface

frances on the right is a younger copy of marjolaine…. for context marjolaine used to be a prestigious opera singer who ended up straining her voice so heavily she retained permanent vocal strain that completely killed her career and also weakened her ability to consistently speak at all. frances was built from memories PRIOR to that as a way for marjolaine to relive her glory days but frances themself became like. very unimpressed with that responsibility and was much more interested in manipulating their own existence and partial omniscience (as a result of being expanded on with code) to just become a major gossip basically hehe. they love peoplewatching the living and coming up with absurd ‘theories’ and assumptions about their behaviours, making bets on things that will happen, peeking into potential ‘timelines’ for fun….

eventually though marjolaine grew extremely ornery with their waywardness, and started to pressure and berate them into fulfilling that desired snapshot of her own life. this placed a lot of stress on frances and they basically just shattered into code under it which. although not a permanent affliction is something that requires a prolonged period of recovery. and prior to ‘dying’ they basically vowed to never commune with marjolaine again so. that bridge is burnt. fucked up your clone real bad!

(also yes they’re named after that One Album. for no reason really)

sezim on the left derives from another guy (olzhas, who has many problems, such as being friends with marjolaine) who basically ‘donated’ eir own memories for this experiment only to like. very quickly regret it once it turned out sezim developed into kind of just. an embarrassing immature bratty version of emself from like 5 years back. he’s much more vexed about setting himself apart as a distinct individual than frances was, to the point that it’s what occupies his mind most…. his main pastime WAS hanging out with frances and testing the precise vastness of their knowledge, together, but once frances exploded and shit, seething about his general existence kind of took priority lol. he’s basically just got an entire thing of “i’m a terrifying being of great wisdom and power but i have to be tied to this random motherfucker that i hate and i wish i could shed all that influence off. and also i’m confined to a computer.” he sort of just ‘fled’ once frances exploded (which he’s EXTREMELY bitter about btw) and has formed an undying grudge against marjolaine, thus never contacting her again afterward….

these two have a weird role in the story where they’re kind of just setpieces for their bases’ story arcs. funnily enough. but they’ve got a bit of meta to them that i think is interesting…. mostly just embodying the idea of “here’s ‘people’ who both literally and figuratively sit ‘above’ the narrative and the traditional idea of being developed characters” by design they’re kind of just witnesses or, more aptly, critics of the main conflict of the story which is all about really convoluted and annoying interpersonal drama radiating out into more serious conflict. they kind of think it’s all stupid and avoidable and they are 100% right. but who’s going to listen to them! nobody’s really casting an ear to them since they’re so above it all to begin with….

or something like that. i like these two catty fucks

[voidscarredadjudicator]

Anyways it's 3 am and I have work tomorrow. Clearly this is the perfect time to ramble about one of my favorite bands.

You've heard of fanfiction. You've heard of podfics. But have you ever heard of just straight up making two whole ass fucking albums of genuinely good rock opera ballads that stand on their own two feet as quality music that's all just very thinly veiled Mega Man grimdark AU fanfiction?

You have now.

These guys are The Protomen. You might've heard of them. You might've not. The point though is that they're rad as hell, and a genuine inspiration. I'm not sure about anyone's individual backstories, but they've been together as a group since at least 2005, and from then 'til this very day they've been working on this Mega Man AU of theirs in the form of song, with two major acts/albums out and a third one that's been in the works for years (with a single having dropped sometime last year).

"Gee Void," I hear you think, "This sounds incredibly cheesy! Also what's the status of Act II of Humanity's Endling?"

Yeah, and? Still kicks ass. Also see previous ask response.

Anyways, these guys go above and beyond a simple fan project. They've done tours, collabs, and even made a music video that's more akin to a short film - which is where my profile picture comes from, actually.

The best part about all of this though is that you honestly don't even need to be a fan of Mega Man whatsoever to be a fan of The Protomen, since so much has been changed around that it's entirely it's own continuity. I can personally attest to this, as I've been listening to these guys since at least 2015 and I've only just played my first Mega Man game earlier this year. The best way I could describe it is if somebody made a film adaptation of the Mega Man games in the 80's that doesn't quite get the story 1:1, except they actually tried to make the new story good in it's own right.

Act I, just called 'The Protomen', has a lot more of a grungy garage band sound, while Act II: The Father Of Death does this really cool thing where the first half of the album is western and it slowly transitions to 80's rock as the album goes on to signify the passing of time & advancement of technology in the story. Act II is a prequel, so you can listen to either album first.

You can probably guess where I got the inspiration to name the parts of Humanity's Endling 'acts' from. Well, this and a different band that also does the same thing with their music, but that's a different ramble post for another day.

Regardless, I won't spoil the story, so if you're gonna listen, I'd also recommend having the lyrics pulled up on the side as there's some extra lyric notes to read for some songs that give further story/context to the songs that are playing beyond just what the words are saying.

This isn't music I'd recommend just playing in the background while you're doing something else - set aside some time, about an hour and a half, to just listen and take it in. Treat it like you would a fanfiction. Of course, music tastes are subjective, so if it's not your thing, I understand.

But if you're still not convinced, here's a link to what is unequivocally their best song:

It's just over four minutes; give it a listen if you've got the time.

That's it from me. I should get to bed. This post took an hour to make. My sleep schedule is still in shambles.

Good thing I'm a closer! 🙃

[demonsteapot]

What type of music do you like / have you been jamming to recently? Any recommendations?

(my internet died halfway through this so i nearly had to rewrite it)

you caught me at a bad time i was schmooving to a sewerslvt playlist yesterday ;-;

okay to be serious for a moment. uh. i don't think i have super good or interesting (or normal) tastes in music? i can point you to some of the things i think are cool and good, and i can also point you to things that i listen to for mood.

ive also probably mentioned some of these before (probably all of them?) so sorry if there's repeats

(okay this ended up being longer than expected so cut vv)

good (mostly not depressing stuff?):

Bill Wurtz – weirdly dreamlike jazzy stuff (?) i recommend 'At the Corner Store' and then i recommend you listen to all his other stuff

Ujico*/Snail's House: ive probably ranted about this guy before; 'Cosmo Funk' is probably your entry level snails house song. sweet adorable future bass, my go to for free serotonin

Heaven Pierce Her – Ultrakill: Violence, the game's newest EP. generally melancholic but really sick especially in context. 'War Without Reason' is probably my new favourite track in the whole game? (you can tell i like amen breaks lol)

also ofc i have to mention john / TOOBOE!! shout out to @donutinsideofashark for introducing me to this guy. some recs: 'Tablet', 'Roman', and 'Appare kanpai' – stuff goes hard and makes me wish i knew jp so i could actually remember lyrics

mood (depressing and/or weirder stuff):

vivivivivi's Dead but Dreaming: concept album about a dead god, mostly chiptune instrumental stuff until the second-last track – personally I LOVE this album, but as someone said, it probably sucks unless you have autism (disclaimer: i'm not diagnosed autistic, this is a reference to the pinned comment). this particular album influences a lot of my works to be honest

two more vivivivivi beepbox albums, ones that are a little more lively: Sisyphus and Silly Little Songs from my Silly Little Head. probably not to the tastes of sane and normal people but i like the beeps and boops :)

sewerslvt: breakbeat stuff from a dark place. people seem to not like sewerslvt fans which is why i'm reluctant to talk about this one but whatever. idk what you'd call their genre (i've heard it described as ambient jungle, trance, something or other dnb, but most importantly NOT breakcore. call sewerslvt breakcore and you are signing up for a hell of a flamewar) listen if you like amen breaks and hate yourself (i hope not…) idk what to even recommend here… i stumbled across her first with Drowning In The Sewer years ago. i've been getting back into their stuff recently, which is probably not a good sign for my mental health… currently listening to 'was it weird that i listened to im god by clams casino's when i lost my virginity' which is a hell of a title

Heaven Pierce Her again – The Enigma of Heaven and Other Daily Delusions: weird album about religion and the internet. since this is hakita again there are amen breaks. good if ur fuckin WEIRD. i recommend most of HPH's work

i've also been listening to an ultrakill fan artist called Marzuku, who does – guess what – more amen break stuff. i don't know man, but 'At Ends' is pretty good

shit fuck of course the jvne section ends up being a whole paragraph just to say don't listen to their stuff.

THAT'S IT IT'S TIME TO WRAP THIS UP THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK. damn this got long. this is what happens when you ask me about my interests LMFAO

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, I've been waiting to see if you would talk about the weverse article but since no one has asked I'm going to. Wth is Hybe doing? 1st Jhope "leads contemporary" and then Namjoon, THEE Namjoon who created the whole idea of Spring Day isn't mentioned at all. Please tell me your thoughts. Sure lets say Hybe hates Jimin but now they hate Namjoon too? It makes no sense for something like this to come from Hybe writers.

***

For anyone who hasn't read the article yet, here's the English version and I suggest you skim it at least so you know what's actually written.

Anon, yours is actually the first ask I've gotten on it today, and your gut feeling that it's not usually staff writers at Weverse pushing out these articles is correct - I've written about how the magazine works before and it's usually Korean critics who are contracted to write pieces. But this time, the article is actually written by a staff writer, the Editor in Chief of Weverse Magazine to be exact, Kang Myeongseok - the same guy who authored the BTS book.

I understand why you're left scratching your head after reading it, and I've pointed out the magazine's shoddy writing before, but I think this latest issue is partly an instance of context lost in translation.

iMO, the point of the article is three things:

To use the upcoming anniversary of Spring Day to remind people who haven't yet purchased the BTS book, to get it.

To remind people that BTS are in fact still the top group and it's songs like Spring Day that gained them acclaim.

To tie Spring Day into the album narrative of BTS.

The point of the article isn't to give an accounting of how Spring Day was made or who led it, and you can glean this from how RM making the song is given only a sentence in the article -

"RM이 ‘BEYOND THE STORY : 10-YEAR RECORD OF BTS’에서 “한국 사람들 사이에서 오래 가고 싶은 노래”를 만들고 싶었다고 말했던 소망은 현실이 되었다."

- all that says is that RM's dream of making a touching song happened with Spring Day.

Two members are used as touchpoints: Yoongi and Hoseok. Yoongi because his personal story ties literally to the lyrics, and Hoseok because his interpretive dance piece incorporating b-boying and contemporary elements, is the piece which introduces the Wings/You Never Walk Alone album on which Spring Day is on. It's also Hoseok who starts the dance in the choreography alongside Jimin - the language in the article implies the author is talking about Hoseok literally starting the song in the stage performance with Jimin. It's also a continuation of how Hoseok's dance piece is what starts the album. The mention of contemporary dancing with Jimin should've been highlighted more prominently, but the following mentions of contemporary dancing in the article (eg Black Swan) is referring to the group as a whole. Not Hoseok and not Jimin.

*

Like I said, the point of the article doesn't appear to be a detailed account of how BTS made Spring Day or the contemporary dancing strength of the group. The two key members for both things - Namjoon and Jimin - are given only a cursory mention at best. I don't think anybody reading the article in Korean, or even English, will come away thinking that's the point. The article honestly just reads like an elaborate ad for the BTS book using the 7th year anniversary of Spring Day as the catalyst.

Is this worth any of the hysteria I've been seeing on Twitter? No. In my opinion. But I also won't really fault anyone feeling some type of way about the article. Weverse in general does a shitty job with their feature pieces. They deserve all the criticism. The only thing they seem to do decently enough is their interviews.

[swiftviolets]

top 23 screenshots of 2023 <3

i was tagged by @applesaucesims a while ago to share my top 23 screenshots of 2023 and it was actually pretty hard to pick just 23!!!! i've seen a lot of people do them by month but because i made this blog in like may i'm just post them all as one :) some are raw some are edited its a real mixed bag i've seen a lot tagged in this already but if you haven't done this yet consider yourself tagged <3!!!

i thought she just looked cool here :(

2. i like the vibe of it and again i just thought she looked cool here lol. i wanna remake this so bad

3. i really like the angle i got w this, like its from elvis' pov. he wants attention but neither are giving it him

4. this was initially from when i started to make pictures to go around lori's apartment but never got around to finishing them. its a little lori and her oldest brother before he goes off to fight in korea :)

5. elvis was not having being held!!!

6. this was when i first started messing around with tool and i just love this shot a lot

7. one of my faves of all time!!!! i cant wait to add more context to this as i get deeper into four to one

8. i was trying so hard to get that feel of an up and coming band and their first album. i looked at a lot of old 60s garage band album covers and some were so raw like literally just a bunch of guys posing somewhere and thats what i attempted to duplicate with this :)

9. i could've honestly included the whole post this screen was from but out of all of them this was my favourite. idk i just like its the first little glimpse you get of new orleans before the street scenes. i was trying to set the mood a little lol

10. literally not a thought inside his little orange head <3

11. i used another angle of this pose for the initial post its from but idk i also liked this one a lot too i think lou's awkwardness makes it for me lol

12. i really like how andy looks back to lori as she was leaving. he looks so helpless and ideally he'd have gone after her but a) he didn't want to deal with her anger and b) he was really not in the mood to receive any shit from the rest of the group, and out of the 2 he's not ready to face lori's wrath!!!! i also like the couple on the left bc they could legit be talking about anything

13. the way they're looking here.... ough. in the story post they take a few moments to watch lori pass before initially approaching her. the look they give her is mixed with the displeasure of spending their friday night tailing their boss' 'girlfriend' and just your typical male gaze of watching girls go by

14. i think i peaked with this shot. she was literally just getting into a car what an absolute icon

15. & 16. the way she looks at him and the way he looks at her...... chefs kiss. she's annoyed and he can tell but that doesn't stop him with appreciating how she looks

17. its my blog header image for a reason <3

18. i love this little moment of intimacy between them. their relationship can feel more like an acquaintanceship at times, especially with how marco speaks to lori and how he treats her. i like in this shot it captures a rare moment in their relationship where lori is genuinely sweet and he's soaking it all in. also i really like both their side profiles hehe

19. i was starting to take screens for a post i was going to make then i just forgot about it but i really like this and how it's a little sneak peak on what to expect later on in four to one :)

20. i just love how the preset i used made this screen look tbh

21. just a cute lil gameplay moment no poses or anything just love between a girl and her cat <3

22. & 23. taken from lori's magazine spread i just really like how candid they look both look

[therecordconnection]

Ranting and Raving: "Espresso" by Sabrina Carpenter

Have you ever just been out in the world, minding your business, only to hear a song out in the wild for the first time and it just grabs you in a chokehold? For me, “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter is one of those songs. It’s one of those pop songs that just makes you turn your ear towards a speaker and ask, “Oh. What is this?” I heard it for the first time in a store (rhymes with Schmarget) and then proceeded to listen to it about eighty more times after that. A great pop song will make you do that and this one is one of the best of the year so far. I mean it.

I knew who Sabrina Carpenter was before this song (I mostly live under a rock, but I still be knowing things from time to time) but I’m obviously not her target demographic and nothing she had done before really gripped me the way this has. Everything about “Espresso” is perfect and I’m ready to do what this series does best: annoy you with many MANY words about a song I love. If you want a silly review of this song in a TL;DR single sentence, I would say, “I don’t drink coffee... but this song must be what having a caffeine addiction feels like!”

The first thing that truly gripped me about this song is just how FUN it is! There’s so much magic packed into three and a half minutes and it serves as a perfect reminder of why I love and enjoy pop music when it gets it as right as a Starbucks barista who has my usual order down to a science. It’s upbeat, it’s catchy as hell, the lyrics are fun to sing along to. What more do you need? This isn’t a song that re-invents the wheel and that’s because it knows it doesn’t have to. Like her reference to Nintendo in the chorus (“Switch it up like Nintendo”) the primary concern is about whether the song is fun to listen to and if it’s something you’ll want to hear again and again and not get bored of. In a way, this song is like the Super Mario World of pop music; a song that provides comfort and fun and it doesn’t require a lot of knowledge and skill in order to enjoy. Anybody can pick it up, start playing, and have a good time with it.

Which means a lot these days.

At the time of this writing, everybody and their favorite wine aunt is currently dissecting Taylor Swift’s newest album, The Tortured Poets Department, searching for hidden meanings and clues and signs about her relationships between her and Matty Healy from The 1975 or British actor Joe Alwyn (take your pick). I didn’t hate TTPD, but the album also didn’t do much for me because it’s so deep within the Taylor Discographic Universe (the TDU) that unless you have a decade of lore explained to you, those songs lose a lot of appeal and power. It’s like watching Avengers: Infinity War when all I’ve ever watched is Iron Man. Taylor isn’t the only one that’s been suffering from this. Ariana Grande’s newest album Eternal Sunshine comes with the baggage of that whole thing that happened between her and that dude who played Spongebob on Broadway or something. The most I’ve ever heard about “The Boy Is Mine” in terms of discourse are all the jokes and memes about how she’s singing about a guy who weirdly looks exactly like her brother and spent years being an adult man playing Spongebob on stage. Even Miley Cyrus’ “Flowers,” the biggest song of last year, loses some of its impact if you’re like me and couldn’t give a shit about Liam Hemsworth or the emotional roller coaster story of her relationship with him. 

Granted, you can still listen to all of these things with their real world inspirations and contexts removed and get just as much, if not more, out of that, but there’s just something really refreshing about being able to enjoy a song without needing an entire “____ iceberg explained” video in order to truly “get it.” I got “Espresso” immediately and the only real world context I can gather is that she probably wrote this song about one or many dudes that have been “down bad” for her. I shudder to think which niche micro-celebrities with the over-inflated attitude that comes with the phrase “I have a post that got over 10,000 notes on Tumblr” have said or done while attempting to shoot their poorly aimed shot with her.

That’s a good place to start talking about the lyrics to the song, which are all about her being playful with a guy and basking in how he is absolutely obsessed and crazy with her. More important than the words themselves is how Sabrina delivers them. There’s a really great balancing act where it’s just the right level of confidence and the belief that you’re hot shit, without going overboard into arrogance. She maintains a constant level of playfulness throughout the entire song and it’s great! It starts as soon as the second line of the chorus hits at the beginning of the song: “Is it that sweet? I guess so.” 

There’s also the line that begins the second verse: “I'm working late 'cause I'm a singer.” I absolutely adore the way she says that line. Every. Single. Time. Again, it’s just the right amount of playful and sarcastic. I can picture the conversation that line would be featured in if anybody she’s dated within the last three years has foolishly asked her if she’s busy tonight.

“Wyd tonight, babe? 😜” “I’m working late.” “What?? Why? 🥺” “...‘cause I’m a singer.”

That line reads like she’s had to answer that question one too many times to one too many idiots. Whether it’s studio time or live performance, singers be working at night. Duh. It’s such a fun line and it gets stuck in your head. You wait for it each time you listen and I can’t imagine the feeling of being in a whole stadium full of people all singing that line together. It’s such a delicate tightrope being walked so damn well, especially since it can go sour so fast if you perform it the wrong way. The following line, “Oh, he looks so cute wrapped around my finger” keeps that playfulness while also making you feel a little bad for the guy. I say a little bad because it’s very obvious who has the power and control in this:

I can't relate to desperation My give-a-fucks are on vacation And I got this one boy and he won't stop calling When they act this way, I know I got 'em

We’ve all known someone who is casually seeing someone and they’re just way crazier about the person they’re seeing than the other is for them. That’s not to say she doesn’t sound invested in this guy during the song, but you get the feeling one of them knows it’s a fun little fling and the other is starting to get obsessed and isn’t seeing things that way. 

It’s not hard to see why he’s getting addicted. I’m hooked on this song the same way dude is hooked on Sabrina. This song has this utterly hypnotic quality to it and at the 1:09 mark when you start hearing “Yes” after every line it reflects getting that hit, that thing you want once you’re addicted and craving more. “Soft skin and I perfumed it for ya” (Yes). “I know I Mountain Dew it for ya” (Yes). “That morning coffee, brewed it for ya” (Yes). It’s a small detail, but I always try to stress that the small details matter and always add up to something bigger. The more you listen, the more you get hooked on her the same way the guy in the song is getting hooked.

Now that I’ve mentioned it, can we talk about that Mountain Dew line? I’m sure some people think it’s a stupid and bad line, but those people are absolutely wrong. It's silly on the surface but works well as a clever double entendre ("I mount and do it for ya"). There’s four lines in this song that I could see somebody writing off as “bad lyrics.” The list includes:

“That’s that me espresso” (A little clunky, but does what it needs to do in order to set up a good metaphor for being the thing someone is addicted to)

“Move it up, down, left, right, oh / Switch it up like Nintendo” (Sounds like a joke bar your friend would spit in the car while making a joke about bad rappers who think they’re geniuses)

“My honeybee, come and get this pollen” (This wouldn’t sound out of place if it was said at the end of a James Bond film)

“I know I Mountain Dew it for ya” (This has definitely been said by a man who thinks he’s a sex god but only lasts the amount of time it takes to microwave a Hot Pocket)

The reason I put all of these lines in an organized list is to show one other thing this song does right: This is a silly song and it basks in the fact that it’s a silly and fun little song.

There’s a quick moment at 2:16, where Sabrina just says the word “stupid” before the song launches into the chorus again. I imagine that’s at the expense of the guy in the song, but I also treat it as her wink-and-nod to me that she’s aware this whole song is just silly, innocent fun and that I too should treat it as such. It doesn’t take anything away from the song, not one bit. If anything, it keeps it light and enhances everything it does right. If Taylor had said “I know I Mountain Dew it for ya” at ANY point during TTPD’s runtime, the masses would’ve erupted with laughter, scorn, and enough posts that you’d never hear the end of it. It works for Sabrina because a lot of her music is more upbeat than Taylor’s recent stuff has been and silly lines like that are quickly becoming her bread and butter. One of the biggest charms about her biggest hit from last year (“Nonsense”) is that it ends with literal nonsense bars that have nothing to do with the rest of the song: “This song catchier than chickenpox is / I bet your house is where my other sock is / Woke up this morning, thought I’d write a pop hit, ha-ha / How quickly can you take your clothes off? Pop quiz.” She’s taken that joke further by making up different stupid and silly outros every night she performs it just to get a laugh out of the audience. My personal favorite one: "This crowd is giving me all the endorphins / I wish someone would rearrange my organs / Philly is the city I was born in". 

The last thing we need to talk about is the absolutely gorgeous and wonderful music video she made for this. It’s a rare Dave Meyers W in this day and age, as he’s responsible for two of the absolute worst videos I’ve seen this decade: Ed Sheeran's "Bad Habits" and the Megan Thee Stallion and Dua Lipa collab "Sweetest Pie." That said, when he’s good, he’s GOOD and it makes you forget every bad video he’s ever made (which is more than just the two I mentioned...)

The cinematography is gorgeous, the choreography is great, Sabrina looks utterly stunning and living her summer beach movie fantasies. Those shots of her doing sixties dances on a surfboard are fantastic and look like they’re straight out of a beach movie from that decade. The whole video has a sixties beach movie look to it, from Sabrina’s outfits all the way to the overall look and glow of the setting. Everything you imagine about a perfect summer is captured beautifully in this video. It’s a fun video that reflects the song in all the best ways. If pop music is escapism and is something designed to take you to another world for a short time, this song and video do just that. We’re all better for it.

Pop songs can be totally serious works of art, but “Espresso” proves they don’t always have to be. Sometimes a song can just be light and fun. “Espresso” knows what it is and it’s excited to be that for you. If you want to start buying stock in songs that might get the illustrious and coveted “Song of the Summer” status, I’m telling you to invest and put all of your money in this song right now because we’re going to the moon and beyond with it. The video for the song ends with Sabrina getting arrested for stealing a guy’s credit card and throwing him overboard at the beginning, with the final shot being the cop car she’s in having a speaker on top playing a little snippet of what will supposedly be Sabrina’s next song. Whatever she ends up doing next, I’m here for it. “Espresso” made me a fan and I’m excited to see whatever else she’s got because this song is everything I love about pop music packed neatly into three and a half minutes. This image from Twitter (Formerly Twitter) user @___bodacious sums up my feelings on Miss. Carpenter really well:

[souryogurt64]

So I love your anons and they seem to have A KNOWLEDGE I NEED SO

I need to know everything there is on ryan ross like,,, pls help a guy out I felt like i knew much bc I joined the fandom in 2012 but as the "break of panic" happened i see people talking so much things about ryan that i didn't know and im just confused???? Stalker accident????? He cut pete off his life in 2009????? He was/is abusing drugs??? What was his actual relation with brendon??? Like I feel i need to know in order to understand him as an artist more and also stop being out of loop lmaoo

So yeah,,If there's any masterdoc on ryan ross,,,, anything pls share😭

Stalker: There was an incident where a girl allegedly impersonated Brendon to Ryan and was texting him for something like 6-9 months posing as his former bandmate and acting as a friend/supporter. She was doing this with the goal of "proving Ryden." It was a massive violation of Ryan's privacy and a genuinely horrific thing that happened. It kind of climaxed in "Brendon" inviting Ryan to Brendon's wedding and then obviously the real Brendon and Spencer didn't let Ryan in and the whole thing started to fall apart.

It is my understanding that she told some friends and the friends tried to contact Panic!'s management to deal with the situation but were not taken seriously/ignored and generally dismissed as crazy/lying. At that point, they went public with all of the receipts and there was a big fandom campaign to get Panic!'s team to deal with it which is why everyone knows what was said in the texts. She ended up supposedly getting banned permanently from concerts/M&Gs and had to write apology letters so the band didn't take legal action.

Right after everything came out Ryan posted some concerning photos on social media of blood smears in his bathroom.

Since then, there have been persistent rumors the ban was never actually enacted, that Brendon's wife was enabling her to some unknown extent, and the private photos she had supposedly got by "hacking" were actually sent to her by Brendon's wife. I have no idea if this is true, but it's just a persistent rumor that I think originates from the original people who blew the top off of it.

Anyway, as for everything else, this is from my Panic! dissertation.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: “DREAMER’S STAR WAS FALLING”

That is probably more context, history, and backstory than anyone could have ever wanted regarding the events that led to the signing of Panic! at the Disco to Pete Wentz’s Decaydance record label. But… You’re probably still wondering what became of our sleepover princes.

The band—and Ryan Ross’ relationship with Pete Wentz—would not make it to the end of 2009. At first, all seemed well. In February of that year, Ross conducted a phone interview where he stated that Panic! was working on a new album; he and Wentz would have a “sleepover” that same month. (Via cross-referencing questionable clothing decisions, paparazzi photos, and Wentz’s Twitter account, we can determine this sleepover would coincide with the aforementioned video of Ross, Wentz, and Simpson drunkenly stumbling to a vehicle). During this sleepover, Ross was—according to Wentz—quoting Oscar Wilde.

A MTV article also written by James Montgomery immediately post-split would proclaim, “Ross…considers [Urie and Smith] to be his friends …The same cannot be said, however, about his former boss — Decaydance Records honcho / Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz — who seems to have clearly aligned himself with the Urie/Smith camp following the split.” Despite the fact that Wentz supposedly did not respond to requests for comment, and Ross was quoted as saying he wasn’t sure if his new band would be on Decaydance, Montgomery would go on to assert that “[Ross’] relationship with Wentz might be finished.” In case you aren’t getting what I’m insinuating here, Montgomery wrote in 2008 that, ““I have no problem saying that [Wentz is] my friend except that… by saying that, I’m basically breaking every guideline in the “Ethical Journalist” handbook.”

Following Panic! at the Disco’s breakup, Ross would go on to start short-lived project The Young Veins; he was interviewed by MTV regarding the project approximately around 2010. In this interview, Ross appears more doe-eyed, spindly, and unsure than ever; the caustic facade he sported during Pretty. Odd. era interviews is gone, replaced by accommodating, mild-mannered precariousness. In his curious affectation that is the “phlegmatic drawl he must have acquired reciting countless Our Fathers in Catholic parochial school”— its desperate smoothness, pretension, and faux-poise doing little to hide the anxiety revealed by his constant twisting— Ross would profess that, “Some of the differences between major and indie labels is that when I call the indie label, they answer the phone….When you can’t really trust people in this business, it’s nice to have that.” Obviously, the major label Ryan Ross was on belonged to Pete Wentz.

The Young Veins did not do well commercially, either—they peaked at position 40 on the US Indie chart. In 2019, Ryan Ross said that The Young Veins was “The first thing in [his] career that didn’t go right” and having the band “fall through so quickly” caused him to struggle. Ross, who stayed away from substances until he was nearly 21, had begun drinking, was rumored to be using drugs, and was frequently losing money playing blackjack.

Ross was not only struggling to succeed commercially; he was struggling to take care of himself, too. Prior to the dissolution of her relationship with Ross, Keltie Colleen wrote that she did everything for him, such as laundry, bills, and sending his family birthday cards. A 2008 Kerrang! interview would also highlight Ross’ inability to manage his own life to the point of his hot water and electricity being shut off for several weeks (and his cell phone being regularly cut off) due to forgetting to pay his bills. Colleen also wrote that Ross struggled to properly care for his dog, Hobo. Ross seemed aware of, yet largely indifferent to this; in one interview, he carelessly drawled from behind a giant pair of sunglasses, “[Hobo] sometimes doesn’t get fed. Or she smells bad.” Ross and Colleen’s relationship, as depicted in her novel, ended due to Ross’ unfaithfulness. Colleen wrote, “…The history of rock music is littered with bodies of incredibly talented people who thought they could deal with the alcohol, drugs, and everything else the lifestyle offered without it changing them…. [Ryan Ross], who despised everything about the music industry, let it eat him alive…”.

An incredibly brutal review of a Young Veins show written by James Montgomery would summarize the overall vibes of that period in Ross’ life. Montgomery wrote that he “couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for [the band]” and “[he] had such high hopes for [Ross]… [but he] had squandered all that potential” and that “it was, for all intents and purposes, [over for Ryan Ross].” Though the piece did speak quite favorably of The Young Veins’ record, and did hold out a bit of hope for the band, it would end with, “[Ryan Ross is] fumbling and stumbling to the beat of his own drummer now. Who cares about the future when you’ve got the past?”. The Young Veins would announce an indefinite hiatus in December 2010; their Wikipedia page states that, “The Young Veins was a rock band…”.

As Ryan Ross’ flame sputtered, Pete Wentz was suffering from his own issues. Wentz told Rolling Stone that by the time of Fall Out Boy’s 2009 hiatus announcement (not-so-coincidentally the same year Ross departed Panic! alongside guitarist Jon Walker), “I was in such a haze of selfishness and pills it was hard to believe I could feel anything.” Later, FOB would cite mental health strain as one of the factors leading up to the decision. Wentz would reveal to Rolling Stone that, following Fall Out Boy’s hiatus, he suffered from paranoia and anxiety so extreme he had his house searched for cameras, and fell back on his old habits of abusing Xanax and Klonopin.

However, Fall Out Boy rose from the ashes and back to the charts in 2013, with Pete Wentz telling Rolling Stone he was in a much better place emotionally; he cited therapy and his desire to be present for his child as giving him the desire to manage his mental health.

Meanwhile, after the dissolution of The Young Veins and a few brief, half-hearted stabs at a solo career, Ross would, ultimately, feel that “[The attention and the fame] was overwhelming” and “[have] a little bit of a mental breakdown.” This was triggered by the commercial and interpersonal failure of The Young Veins and Ross realizing that, “Oh, not everything [I] do turns to gold.” Eventually, this would send Ross on a spiral that would temporarily land him in AA meetings.

[taylortruther]

I love ttpd for a myriad of reasons but mostly because of how you can connect atleast one song back to every album of hers, either sonically or thematically. Sometimes both.

Like The Bolter is a song that's very special to me, someone who gets immense Red/Fearless vibes from the production, but again it's very reminiscent of the Getaway Car theme of running away from love and relating it to breaking free from a prison etc...and it got me thinking about entirely similar The Bolter, FOTS and Getaway Car's themes were?

I know that with added context it's pretty evident how those three are NOT about the same incident...but if you put the two from TTPD on any other post Rep album, I wouldn't be able to tell.

Infact if High Infidelity was on TTPD, it would fit perfectly as a Joe-Matty song. Really strange how her own life seems to parallel itself, or maybe it's not and she herself is intentionally drawing parallels from the past.

Additionally, I always used to think that Getaway Car was one of her more unapologetic "I ghosted him and got away with it" songs, but listening to TTPD and revisiting Getaway Car/High Infidelity makes those songs sound slightly desperate and defensive to me.

The Bolter and FOTS are really the songs that seem to express her absolute lack of guilt in her actions, while Getaway Car was all "Us traitors never win" and "I was dying/crying in a getaway car" and High Infidelity has hints of her being defensive like "Seemed like the right thing at the time" and begging him a little "Good money I'd pay if you just know me" and giving explanations for why she did what she did.

The TTPD song are her really not giving a fuck, or 'skipping town like an a-hole outlaw' in her own words.

Another interesting thing in The Bolter and FOTS is that she's not directly talking to the guy she's leavin, she simply isn't the least bit worried about him. She speaks to "pretty baby" and the audience themselves.

However in High Infidelity and Getaway Car she is addressing the guy in the 2nd person. Just observations.

i think the cool thing about this album - which some people don't like, funny enough - is that you see how she reflects on her own past. of course there are similarities to these relationships: they come from her mind, and she has her own patterns, her own unique ways of loving people or viewing herself/the world. (my way of saying: yes, taylor has a pattern of needing a getaway car to leave relationships.)

i also like that there are a lot of songs that are addressed to the audience, or reflect on multiple situations.

the bolter doesn't suggest it's about one specific instance, it's about this pattern in her life. it's like taking the line "i used to switch out these kens, i'd just ghost, rip the bandaid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw" and blowing it up into a whole song about the why and how.

i have to disagree that fots is an idgaf song. she literally describes the relationship she's leaving as a prison where she was disappearing under him. it's not remorseful, maybe, but it offers a sympathetic explanation just like some of her previous "crossing the line" songs have. i always viewed getaway car and high infidelity in that way also. they're not apologetic, but they do explain her pain.

[minalblood]

Ok so my brain decided to deepen its own damage last night as I was rewatching The Winchesters (season 1) finale so buckle up it’s a long one fellas.

So I was listening and when I heard Keep on Rambling come on during the bar scene with Joan, my mind went huh, I wonder where this is placed in the album. So I went and checked. Mainly I was curious cuz usually an album tells a story and Jensen made it pretty clear that unlike the previous two albums where they were just trying shit out, this one was meant to be more consistent and have a clear throughline. So as I said, I checked.

It’s the 6th song btw, the 1st of the 2nd half of the album. I kind lost it after that tbh. Let me explain why ok:

So if we go by the logic that the album tells a story and we tie it to Dean (and destiel cuz duh tbh) we have this shit happening: Right Kind of Trouble - you can tie this to SPN directly, this is Dean realizing that Cas is basically it for him despite the constant fights they’ve been having and more so allowing himself to acknowledge that. Basically this is the Purgatory apology. Like legit this song is to me what Dean really wanted to tell Cas, that Cas didn’t allow him to. This is a love confession itself, one that says I know I fucked up, but If you give me a chance again I will do so much better cuz you’re it for me, we match. Like look at this shit guys:

Like this is pure divorce era Deancas and you can’t tell me otherwise, but more specifically, Dean thoughts as he eventually apologized in 15x09 The Trap.

Then we got Forever ain’t Long. This for me can of course still be about the divorce era, sure, but more so it feels like 15x18 Despair and regretting having gotten to this point and now it being too late to change anything cuz Cas is dead. Like how much clearer can it be? Like it’s literally a plea for time to turn back and for the relationship to go back to being as it was before all the mess Chuck and just the divorce era caused, but cannot since Cas is dead (Take me forever/forever ain’t long). And also, just this song screams Despair to me, it’s one of the saddest ones on the whole album, it reeks of grief. And it’s a direct call for Cas with the heaven line off the bat:

Also this part? This is mindspace for sobbing on the floor and 15x19 vibes for me.

Next is Every Light, the ultimate Dean song right? Well specifically this ties into 15x19 - telling Chuck he can just have his ending, just bring Cas back - and more importantly, and it’s also something I think we all heard, it’s about what shall not be named, the fucking 15x20 finale. I don’t need to bang on too much here but like, it’s even more than that. Because with TW 1x13 we find out he decided to stray from heaven while we were still mid ep 15x20 which means these are him going, hey I need to do sth about this, I need to figure out what’s wrong here, make sense of it and make it right cuz fuck this, I ain’t just taking this shit hand I’ve been given. Like I could literally put the whole song here but like imma put just some:

This is pure intergenerational trauma banging around in his head.

Ain’t no telling is next on the list and this is now heading into Winchester territory a bit, but not quite fully there. I see it as a continuation of the above aka I don’t want to go, but now that I’m gone and it’s not good, why is it not good, who am I after all, does anyone really know and does it really matter? And by anyone I do mean Cas tbh cuz like yea, it would make sense. The song literally says hey, you love me through all of it, despite me not always being sure who tf I am or how far away from each other we are, but we are still going to take advantage of every second we have. Basically this to me feels like a retrospective of the divorce arc put into context by the confession and this restlessness and need to find something Dean gets while in heaven. Like the 1st verse if soooo Dean I just can’t.

Ok now we get into shady waters a bit because You make me Blue is a bit of an outlier tbh, which considering I think this was written just by Steve, it makes sense, buuut I can still fit it in here seamlessly like this: this is sung to Chuck. This is the realization or resolution to the question posed by Ain’t no telling essentially. This unsureness of self isn’t lying with Dean alone, this was brought on by Chuck and his machinations so the anger in the song matches perfectly. Again, all of this til now has been gearing up to leave heaven but still on the road so to speak, still matching the 15x20 set of events, but his mind is running and trying to make sense of things. And what do we get with this song? We get “I’m finally happy being free/me”. We get a concretised sense of self once it’s been made clear in Dean’s mind just how much Chuck fucked with him (and if you’re a Chuck Won truther like me, how much Chuck is still doing, has the realisation that maybe Jack isn’t quite Jack here cuz sth is clearly wrong, but it doesn’t matter anymore, he knows who he is so Chuck/Jack’s influence can’t affect him anymore). And again this is the one song that matches least, but if we take it to be Dean having trusted Chuck to not be the villain (see him going to shoot Jack for that and promising to bring Mary back), then this still fits for me.

And now that we close this chapter we get to our 1st offender again: Keen on Rambling and the 1st one that is without any doubt taking place during The Winchesters. Like the whole song states everything that we’ve just been told happened throughout season 1. Like ok, verse 1 is deciding to leave heaven even though heaven is meant to be a place to rest (find peace whatever). Then verse 2 is giving the AU he finds himself in with the Akrida a nudge in the right direction (I’m sorry with the calvary in tow??, headed southbound for the season???)  And finally we get to the last one which to me is meeting the Core 4 but especially Mary and John and giving them the journal (I have a story to tell — do tell). So yea, but he’s not done tho. The song is constantly saying to keep on rambling so there’s more to do to get to where he needs to be, he’s still restless. But it is the beginning of this next chapter and the beginning of the second half of the album like I said. It matches soo fuckign well tbh and I’m going a bit insane here so take all this with a grain of salt tbh.

Ok so now that we’ve reached the current point in the Dean story we have 4 more songs. Which to me is basically where Dean needs to get to. 

And honestly a bit of Sweet Escape still fits into the finale for season 1 of TW so let’s get to it. This one is very much saying I’ve been caught red handed and people are trying to keep me contained but I refuse to stay put cuz there’s still shit I need to do/find. Like this is where my Chuck Won truthing hits worst tbh, but it could just be the Jack’s non interference thing too as well tbh, but the other voices that need to be drowned out are def Jack here, who took him back to heaven at the end of 1x13 of TW so this is basically saying you may have gotten me back here, but I’ll break outta the inclosure anyways, you can’t stop me, I’m not done. And with the 1st verse’ ending it feels like not only is he not done, but there’s a plan in motion here. Also I CANNOT overstate how much the 2nd verse makes me think of the Empty.

Return to Me is self explanatory tbh, but I’ll ramble a bit here too. This one answers the question of what he’s searching for, why he can’t stop moving, what’s missing for him to be happy. And what’s missing is a person that he lost aka Cas. Like I really don’t even need to say much here, this song is literally Dean going hey this is what I need to be happy, this is how that can happen. It fucking has the lakeside and raincoat mentions, it’s blatant tbh. And moreso, the last verse is just a reiteration of what we all lost our shit about with Watching over Me aka how did I not know you loved me back, how did I miss that until it was literally too late. 

Restless Man is a prayer to me basically and also the song I relate to the most tbh. So I’ll try not to get lost in the meanings here. But basically it’s Dean asking Cas to give him the space and reason to slow down. Not stop, because it’s still Dean and he can’t do that, but to give him a place or person where he can feel safe to take a break, where he can just be, where he can learn how to just be instead of constantly needing to do everything for everyone else. To have a place where he can just focus on himself a bit and what he needs and wants and how to embrace being happy. And more than just that, it’s saying that he’s finally ready to allow someone to take care of him for a bit, to have a place where he doesn’t need to be constantly on guard.

And it wraps up with Velvet Sky which in this case is the happy ending. Happy not because there’s “peace when you are done” like Jack says, but because now they have a place of their own to go to whenever they are weary of the road. The 1st verse to me is referring to Dean travels through the multiverse - literally seen all the land, every beach and grain of sand  because he literally went and saw all the possibilities for things, saw the wide expanse of the multiverse in search for this place and this person that he can now be with. And it’s not peace here, the sea is angry still, but it’s what works for them. It’ll never be perfect and it doesn’t need to be, Dean just needs this place and person to be free to just be himself and that no one else can reach or affect again, have his story be his own. 

So yea, this is the insanity my brain concocted last night after rewatching The Winchesters season 1 finale and having a random thought about Radio Company. And like I could’ve left it be and not traced any connections, but they fucking used the song in the show and then used Ramble On as the song to send the episode off. I couldn’t just ignore the relevance of that. 

But anyway, none of this could be accurate at the end of the day, but I had to get it out cuz it was stuck on repeat all night. Let me know what you guys think.

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

Space Night Vol. VI by Aural Float 2001 Downtempo / Trip Hop / Lounge / Dub / Future Jazz

Don't wanna bury the lede here, so up front, I'll just say that this is simply one of the greatest collections of chillout tunes that I've ever heard in my entire life. But before we dive right into it, there's some paragraphs-long context that bears explaining the story behind this whole Space Night series in the first place, so here we go!

Back in 1993, three guys named Gabriel Le Mar, Pascal F.E.O.S. (a trance pioneer in his own right), and Alex Azary teamed up to form Aural Float, a trio that would become known for their breathtaking ambient and chillout music soundscapes. Together, they would release three albums and launch an audiovisual odyssey of sorts called Space Night. Originally starting in the club as a brilliant mesh of ambient music and footage shot from outer space, Space Night would eventually make its way into homes all across Germany, as a national television station there called BR granted Aural Float the opportunity to develop their own club-night concept into programming.

Sometime in 1994, Space Night would replace BR’s overnight test cards every Sunday through Thursday, and now the show has been on the air for over 25 years, achieving serious cult status as millions of people can say that they've blissfully drifted off and woken up to it. And there's plenty of Space Night videos on YouTube too, if you want some prime material to both really zone all the way out to and also have blow your mind 😌🤯 .

Here’s one:

But along with that popular TV program also spawned a series of Space Night compilations. Through 15 releases over 15 years, Aural Float and a couple others managed to compile some of the greatest collections of spacey ambient, downtempo, and chillout tunes ever created. And this fantastic 2001 double-disc that I'm posting about today is the sixth installment from the series.

Now, my last chillout compilation post wasn't too long ago, and I said that it made for a great showcase of German-made chillout, specifically, which isn't a country that you probably tend to associate with very chill vibes. And this turns out to be another one of those comps. You may think of Germany as rooted in cold, mechanical industriousness, and a lot of their techno music is very much a reflection of those broad, national characteristics, but despite them not having a warm southern coastline or almost any islands of note, Germany really still has possessed the capacity to produce some of the most stellar chillout fare that this planet's ever borne witness to.

And this release here more than proves the point. Not every song on these two discs is made by Germans—both DC-based chillout pioneers, Thievery Corporation, and the eclectically electronic London duo, Groove Armada, show up on the second disc—but a majority of them seem to be. And by that same token, not all of these songs match the same outer-space ambience that you'd expect either, but most of them seem to: majestic and/or celestial string pads get paired with blends of rich piano melodies, ringing xylophone notes, or futuristic lead synths; and there's lots of dubbiness too, either in the rumbling basslines, or in the echoing of each melodic note, which, naturally, connotes a seismic amount of unknowable vastness.

Almost every single song on here is phenomenal, but there are some that are still a bit more striking than others. A German guy who goes by Fresh Moods gets two slots on disc one: first, he provides a sweet hand-drum driven remix that initializes as a poolside vibe, but then alters course for space, and then he gets his own tune five minutes later in "Decisions I Made," which is some slow-moving and crunchy, space-hypnotic trip hop psychedelia.

Soon after that, Montréal's Jaffa supplies some really soul-piercingly sublime synth chimes on "Interlude," which is another song that also comes with a dose of psychedelia—this one by way of nice keyboard improvisations—and a bed of strings as well. Really groovy and lush stuff there.

And the set's penultimate track is excellent too: "Blue Sky," by Germany's üNN, sort of sounds like if the Twin Peaks soundtrack was trip hop-flavored. It has that same 80s/early 90s synth vibe to it and is also comparable to Jan Hammer and Miami Vice as well. A really lovely tune that stands out from the rest of this marveling herd.

I continue to say the same thing over and over, but it really bears repeating here: this turn-of-the-millennium chillout era yielded an enormous glut of terrific music. Some of it became underground-popular, thanks in large part to Café del Mar, but most of it still remains criminally slept on and unfortunately ignored. And this 2001 German double-disc that was compiled by Aural Float is just another one of the many shining examples that I'll keep on outlining here until I run out of these kinds of comps and mixes to post about, which is something that will probably *never* happen, because that pile of CDs is almost as vast as space is itself 😅.

And the rest of the world was really robbed by not having the Space Night TV show exported outside of Germany too. A show like that definitely would've gone a long way towards raising chillout music's profile, overall, when there was such a strong current of it pumping through largely unnoticed at the time. It would've fit perfectly on a few different US cable networks too, like the Discovery Channel, TLC, or The Science Channel, and the breathtaking visuals along with the great music would've probably helped to heighten and activate some more peoples' sense of wonder as well. A lot of late night programming has a way of achieving a dedicated cult status, and I really see no reason as to why a show like this wouldn't be able to in the US. It seems broadly appealing enough and also very soothing. But, alas, at least we can watch some of it on YouTube now, right?

Highlights:

CD1:

Tosca - "Suzuki" dZihan & Kamien - "Homebase" Wamdue Project - "Instrumentation" Sven van Hees - "Tsunami" Enrico Riva - "The New Economy (Fresh Moods remix)" Index ID - "Planisphäre" Fresh Moods - "Decisions I Made" De-Phazz feat. Pat Appleton - "Anchorless" Jaffa - "Interlude" Wondabraa - "Starfish" George Pallikaris - "Natural Being" Azure Taint - "Glasrauch" Amphotic - "Spacetalk"

CD2:

Thievery Corporation - "It Takes a Thief (version 2)" Pre Fade Listening - "Free George Lingo" Groove Armada - "Serve Chilled" Chicane - "Low Sun" Chris Zippel - "Summerblink" Soehngenetic - "Din Atrium" Drøn - "Rem" The Sushi Club - "Koi" üNN - "Blue Sky"