#but it was so mystical and zero's theme feels so. yeah. i just love that patch so much and PANDAEMONIUM.

[astrxealis]

i love elidibus so much it is unreal

[dailycass-cain]

I was a masochist, because I wanted to see how the story ended (and wanted a the very least to own the Red Hood mini because I do love the creative team with that). So I asked a friend if I could borrow his copies of the issues I don't have. So here are my hopefully FINAL thoughts on Batman/Catwoman: Gotham War.

This was quite possibly the worst Batman x-over in quite some time. From the varying motivations of the main characters to the side characters. Nothing stood out from the beginning to the end.

If any one character comes off as "okay" throughout this event is Jason. Like, he gets the only motivation (again thin as it is), but at the very least he's the one who gets progression in this story.

From helping Selina to seeing how flawed Selina's plan is, to being kidnapped by Bruce then mentally tortured, and still fighting even after it.

Jason is the ONLY main member of the three (or four if you include Vandal) who exits the story still looking clean.

Bruce or Selina? Oh boy... both have some WONKY stuff in this and vary from issue to issue or page to page.

The thing is, this story could've just been easier by taking Selina out entirely and focusing on Bruce vs. the Bat Family.

Like, the entire Bat Family is paper thin in this story and quite possibly some of the worst use of them in a while.

I'm still flabbergasted at how awful Cass was treated in the story with zero character at all. I mean Batman vs. Robin #5 did as well, but even with that story there was a "meaning" to the madness with Cass in that.

She sat out most the main series until THAT issue. She's there along with the rest of the Bat Family to stall the possessed Bruce (which seems to be a recurring theme this entire year) until the mystical characters of the DCU arrive to exorcise him.

For that issue?

It works. I accept the jobbing because it's a mystical demon which is outside her norm (well not anymore).

I still have my issues with Batman vs. Robin, but it was waaay better at telling a story.

Here?

Everyone's appearance in this event is downright laughable and makes zero sense. I'm supposed to accept Cass is okay with Selina's plan throughout this? Even her among other characters gets ZERO voice on why they're on board with this.

A quick fix again would've been when she saw the signs of Bruce's mental instability with the Zur influence growing larger.

Heck, the now INFAMOUS Batman #137. The issue is awful storywise and all it serves is the wrestling equivalent to this with Bruce vs. Cass:

All so Bruce can get a "W" over Cass. Joy. 🙄

When themactically it could've shown Zur's influence that a move Bruce wouldn't be ready for and Zur is.

BUT NOPE. We get that with him against Dick in #138 instead.

I'm not even going into details with the final issue of the event in Batman/Catwoman: Gotham War- Scorched Earth #1.

It just makes everything worse. Bruce passes it all on Dick and um yeah… none of the female characters of the family get ANY say. 🙃🙃🙃

I said last month I'm dropping Batman ongoing from my pull, and I'm sticking with that choice with Tec replacing it fully. I just don't enjoy the comic any longer. When you don't enjoy a comic you cut it off and don't continue to read it for any enjoyment purposes.

Literally, Cass's entire point in Batman run so far has been to job. There has been ZERO characterization for the character. Why I dibbed Cass in this "Card Cain". If you're gonna treat the character that way, well.

I'm out.

Detective Comics is giving me a better story of Bruce falling out mentally, and better-crafted antagonists who feel like a threat to him and others.

I'm more hype for Cass in that because it feels like the book treats each character better. EVERYONE gets to shine.

Batman/Catwoman: Gotham War burned me the heck out of the two leads. Again, I'm far more interested in what happens with Jason next and glad his "mini-series" basically turned into a setup for the finale to the current Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing ongoing.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to put my friend's copies downstairs. Probably tell him next Thurs to bury them in his bins never to be read, or just sell this as a bundle for some poor soul to buy.

I hope this is the final time I ever talk about Batman/Catwoman: Gotham War.

Save for Card Cain. I can't hate Card Cain.

[writing-winters]

SGRoA: Vampire Diaries, S01 E21: Isobel

Not this one. The Amanda Grayson-looking one. I’m hype for this episode, y’all. It’s the penultimate of the season, so only one more after this! And frankly, my knowledge of both Grey’s Anatomy and Star Trek is, well, autistic in its breadth and depth. Meaning I can make jokes for daaaaaaayyyyyys. Let’s get started!

Well, we’re off to a bad start. The little “last time on” recap at the beginning ends with Isobel saying hello to Alaric, and then it just… starts the episode with the rest of that conversation. I was like, I don’t remember this from last week? Yeah, because it wasn’t on last week. This is now this week. They gave absolutely zero indication the ep was starting, so why do I feel dumb?

HOKAY, SO. She says it’s good to see him, and he asks where she’s been. She says she has no answers that will satisfy him. She wanted to become a vampire, and he was supposed to mourn her and move on. He asks how could he not search for her? “Because I wasn’t lost, Ric,” she says, sadly, and then changes the subject to Elena. She wants Ric to arrange a meeting for her and Elena, and Ric is pissed to be treated like a messenger. He calls her a “selfish bitch” and leaves.

She follows him out, making no effort to hide her vampire movement. Ric says he’s not going to do anything for her. She takes him by the throat and says that he’s going to tell Elena to meet her, and if he or Elena don’t do what she wants, she’ll start killing townspeople, starting with his history students. She drops him and goes.

Oh, she’s delightful, I like her just fine. I mean, killing innocents is a little gauche, admittedly, but some people are just tacky sometimes. I like Little Debbie cakes and real cigarettes (though I gave up the cancer sticks for good several years ago). We’re all trashy in our own ways.

Elena calls Damon to check on Stefan before she heads out to work on the Miss Mystic Falls float for the Founders’ Day Parade.

They banter a bit: Damon says Stefan is horrible, back to being his boring, stupid, moral self again. They laugh. Damon asks if Uncle John has said anything about his “field trip” with the history teacher, and Elena again confesses to avoiding John. Damon wants to know what he’s up to; Elena says she’ll keep an eye out.

Alaric is going over expectations for the … high school’s? history department’s? history class’s? Founders’ Day float. Tyler is in charge, because Ric’s “seen [his] sketches. They’re good.” Tyler doesn’t want to be involved, and Ric just says he doesn’t really care, pick your team, don’t screw up, and hey, I have to leave to talk to Elena now. Tyler asks Matt if he wants to be on his… float team? but Matt, obviously, says no. Still pissed about your mom being a predator? Yeah, I would be, too, but maybe that’s not Tyler’s fault?

Instead of following Ric, Elena, and Stefan, we go to Caroline’s float team, who are referencing last year’s Miss Mystic Falls float.

It’s exactly what they don’t want to do, apparently, so they’re doing “classic Southern charm” - aka, Gone With The Wind.

Look, I actually love GWTW, but it’s a racist movie. It was a racist book about a racist time in history. I don’t think it should be banned or anything, but I also don’t think it should be a parade float theme? Like, come on, now.

But we’re quickly derailed from float decisions by Caroline asking wtf is going on between Bonnie and Elena. THANK YOU! OMG, Caroline, we’re besties now, okay? Bonnie says it’s nothing, but Caroline says the whole point of float building is friends coming together to make something, but Tyler and Matt hate each other and now Bonnie and Elena are on the outs? No. Bonnie needs to tell her what’s wrong, so she can help fix it.

Bonnie simply says she can’t talk about it. She’s sorry.

We didn’t stay with Alaric, Stefan, and Elena because get this: the writers aren’t going to repeat information we already know.

I mean, they’ve been pretty good about that, especially for a soap opera. I shouldn’t be such a snarky bitch, but then, I do have to be true to myself. Anyway, Damon comes to Alaric’s classroom, and Elena and Stefan have 1000-yard stares on. Damon asks what’s going on, and Alaric fills him in in one line: “I saw Isobel last night.”

Uncle John pulls his modestly-priced compact sedan in front of a mansion. I thought it was one of the kids’ cars, honestly, doesn’t seem like something John would be driving, a little Corolla/Civic/Camry/Whathaveyou. Walks in like he owns the place, though I suspect it’s Isobel’s. Ah, yes - John gets to the bedroom, where Isobel in a nightie is watching a couple dancing. She picked them up in Brooklyn and Amarillo, and apparently has them under compulsion, because John yells at her for treating “real human beings like dolls”.

Isobel says if they’re going to be partners, he has to stop being such a hater.

“We’re in a partnership together because we share a mutual goal. Don’t ever confuse that for acceptance of your lifestyle,” John shoots back. Ah, I see. I hope John dies soon.

She asks if he has the invention, and of course he doesn’t, so she backhands him and says she’s taking over from here. I love it.

Damon asks if John and Isobel are working together. Ric didn’t ask. What about the invention? The tomb? What, exactly, did Ric ask her? Well, nothing, obviously, she just wants to see Elena. Damon tells her she doesn’t have to see Isobel if she doesn’t want to, and Stefan seems surprised that he would be so tender with her. But Elena says she does have to: Isobel threatened to kill people, after all, and Elena thinks she’ll regret it if she doesn’t go, just from a personal standpoint, not from, like, all the bodies at her feet.

Y’all, we’re not even 10 minutes into this episode. Where has all this plot been for 20 episodes?!

They meet at The Grill, where else? Elena’s wearing a little transmitter, and Stefan’s playing pool and listening in. The first thing Isobel says is that Elena looks exactly like Katharine, which is weird, because Elena’s titties are, like, never out. Katharine found Isobel when she first turned - genetic curiosity, apparently, nothing as lovely or human as The Great Family. Isobel says Katharine would be “fascinated” by Elena.

Isobel daywalks because of a pendant. (Why does everyone else do it, VD writers’ room? Huh? Anna? Harper? Frederich?) Elena asks about her father: “a teenage waste of space.” Isobel says she asks a lot of questions, but she’s asked 3, and she asks why Isobel compelled the guy to step into traffic. Because she’s a vampire, duh. Elena says no, she knows other vampires, better vampires, and Isobel asks why Elena went for Stefan instead of Damon - or does she enjoy them both, like Katharine did?

Elena looks way too prudily scandalized by that thought to be even having this conversation. Elena. Honey. If you’re going to run with vampires, you have to give up a lot of American prudishness. I know these vamps seem squeaky-clean and wholesome, but they’re vampires. Come on, now.

Damon and Alaric are waiting outside. Isobel made it clear they weren’t allowed in, and Damon says he’s not going to kill her in a crowded restaurant! Alaric says he’s not going to kill her at all, and Damon’s surprised he still wants to protect her. Ric says she was his wife - was, because “whoever that is in there, she’s cold, detached.” Because she’s a vampire, says Damon, but Ric doesn’t understand it. Damon and Stefan both still have some humanity, why doesn’t Isobel?

Look, I could put an entire other essay in here about why female-presenting vampires are always “cold, detached, inhuman” and male-presenting vampires are always either brooding and “good” or rakish and “evil”, but only insofar as it makes them sort of an anti-hero. I could. I won’t. I’m sure y’all can figure this one out without me, we live in a patriarchy, yadda yadda. Y’all can fill in the screed, have fun!

Damon tells Alaric that they can “turn it off”, meaning their humanity or emotions or whatever they’re calling it this week. Not alexithymia, never that, but whatever “bizarre”, “inhuman” thing they’re attributing to vampirism instead of being a totally normal, if rare, human variation. I love being a creature.

Elena asks why Isobel wanted to see her. She’s curious about Elena, of course, but she wants what Uncle John wants: the invention. She knew Uncle John in school; he had a huge crush on her, was the first one to tell her about vampires. Elena asks why Isobel wanted to be one. Isobel says it’s a long list, and surely Elena has thought about it. Elena, once again, looks scandalized, and I have to go smoke another bowl, oh my god, I did not expect to have to teach Vampire Diaries from a feminist lens today, christ.

Elena is so good and pure, such an upright woman, she’d never consider being a dirty, slutty vampire! Over and over and over, this trope, this goddamn stupid bullshit nonsense. Fuck outta here with this shit. Fuck.

Anyway. Elena says no, she hasn’t considered the reasons, and Isobel says it’s her first lie. Elena will get old; Stefan won’t. Forever isn’t very long when you’re human.

Elena says she doesn’t have the invention and storms off. But Isobel’s riiiiiiiiiiiiight!

I know I’ve ranted about it before, I must have, because this whole thing, this overarching trope of some sort of patriarchal or misogynistic values imposed on vampirism is fucking everywhere. It makes my skin crawl. It’s stupid. It doesn’t make any sense. WHY ARE YOU WITH A VAMPIRE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE. Make it make sense to me.

I know, I know, the women must refuse the icky stand-in for sexual desire. And the men must regret having to sully women with sexual desire? I think? There’s a lot of overlap in the male archetype with addiction in various forms, which I have also complained about at length. It is the 21st century. Can we ever put away Puritanical mores? We just have to keep this stupid shit lying around forever because…? Because our ancestors gave it to us? Fuck them, it’s broken, I’m throwing mine out.

(If you’d like to read about a human woman who is with a vampire because she wants to be a vampire, I have a book for you!)

Psych! Isobel actually grabs Elena before she can complete her walk-off. Isobel knows that Damon has the invention. Elena will get it from him. Simple.

And then Isobel walks off.

Elena starts crying; Bonnie walks up, but then sees Stefan behind her, and nothing is said, because Bonnie is mad for reasons. I mean, we’re not allowed to know them, or anything, but she swears they exist.

Jeremy calls Anna and leaves what sounds like a multiple of messages. Jenna overhears him and asks about Anna, because Jenna likes her. John pops in and also asks about Anna, but Jeremy doesn’t want to talk to him. John complains about nobody wanting to talk to him anymore. Well, don’t be an asshole, John, and people might like you.

Damon is… in an apartment? that he must own, because Isobel shows up as he’s “losing” strip poker with a rando. Oh, it’s Isobel’s house, that was the girl she picked up in Brooklyn. There’s a lot of stalking and aggressive flirting that isn’t flirting.

Katharine wants the device, not Isobel, and Katharine won’t be crossed. Isobel is just a messenger. But bad news: Damon believes in killing messengers. And Isobel went after Elena, which was clearly a mistake. If Katharine wants something from him, she’d better show up herself and let him know.

Bonnie shows up at Elena’s because she feels bad about not comforting Elena at The Grill. They’re friends, and if Elena needs her, Bonnie is here. She’s sorry she couldn’t show that YESTERDAY.

Not exactly the best fit, but I’m just impressed they gave us some sense of time, no matter how nebulous it might be. I was beginning to think it really was just some alternate dimension where time has no meaning.

Elena says she met her birth mom, and then Bonnie hugs her.

Tyler tries to apologize to Matt at float building.

Elena meets Bonnie at school, so I hope this is a different day, but again… [insert ICP here]. Anyway, Bonn has Emily’s grimoire. It’s got all the inventions in it: the compass, rings, and whatever Katharine’s looking for. John Gilbert didn’t invent anything: Emily put magic in all of them to make them work. The device Katharine wants is more than one piece, though Damon only has the one. They read the spell about it: it’s an anti-vampire weapon. Bonnie and Elena seem confused as to why Katharine would want it, but, uhhhhhhhhhhh - vampire? She wants to kill other vampires, obviously.

Elena goes to the float building to find Stefan, but runs into Jeremy looking for Anna instead. She says she hasn’t seen her, and Jeremy says she’s lying, because she always lies to him. He knows that she knows about vampires, and he knows about vampires, so where the fuck is Anna? Elena still hasn’t seen her, but Jeremy stalks off without believing that.

Elena can’t go after him, though, because Isobel shows up. Amazing, how these vamps are literally never wearing sunglasses. I wear sunglasses indoors and at night, but sure, I guess all this magic making them daywalkers could also make them impervious to how bright the motherfucking sun is. (I have three different sets of sunglasses - full strength for most of the time, half strength for rain and cloudy days, and yellow for night, because of those LED lights that no one points properly that fuckin’ blind everyone else on the road.)

Isobel threatens Elena by talking about being more involved in Elena’s life - she points out Bonnie and Caroline and Matt and Jeremy and blah blah blah. Do what I want or I kill the people you love. She demonstrates by injuring Matt a little, and then apparently kidnaps Jeremy? Well, she says she’ll kill him, and Elena whips around and can’t see him anymore, so that’s the inference we’re supposed to make.

Tyler is driving Matt to the hospital, because an ambulance will be 20 minutes and cost $5,000.

Isobel goes home to John. Oh, she did kidnap Jeremy! look at that. John’s pissed. He thinks she won’t kill a kid, but come on, dude. He asks for the “old Isobel”, but that seems a losing proposition. And it is. Her sex lackeys attack John and she takes his invincibility ring.

Bonnie, Stefan, and Elena try to convince Damon to turn the device over. Bonnie says she can remove the original spell, making it useless. John and Isobel won’t know. Damon says no, he’ll rescue Jeremy himself. Stefan points out the problems with that, so Damon turns to questioning Bonnie’s powers. She shows off with a little parlor trick of telekinesis, and they jabber some more, but ultimately, Damon gives up the device.

Locked up at Isobel’s, John shares some exposition with Jeremy. Tells him about the device, that the vamps want it to take vengeance on Mystic Falls. Why would a vampire help John kill vampires? says Jeremy, like human beings aren’t constantly sniping at each other 25/8. (There’s too much to fit in a normal week, we added shit just to fuck with each other more.) John tells Jeremy that’s why his parents were killed: because of all the vampire shit.

And I know, you’re gonna be all, “Cate, why would an immortal being continue such petty rivalries?” and if that’s your question, sweetie, I need you to read some novels. Vampires are nothing but petty. They’re just humans with fangs. You think they’re going to therapy and doing the work?

Final ten minutes!

Bonnie takes the device apart and unspells it, which involves a lot of handwaving and not much else.

Elena meets Isobel to hand it over, but she wants Jeremy first. Isobel says it isn’t a negotiation, but honestly, of course it is. Everything is.

Oh, Jeremy and John are back home. John “hit his head”, and Jenna’s cleaning it up. Hey, when do we bring Jenna in on all this? Don’t we think she should know? Especially after all that Logan ghosting mess, it might be nice for her to know that the town’s overrun with fangs and it’s not her.

Elena says that Isobel never intended to hurt Jeremy. Isobel says she intended to kill him. Elena can’t be looking for redeeming qualities in Isobel; there aren’t any. I beg to differ, but my standards are very different.

Isobel says she knew Damon would give up the device because he’s “in love” with Elena, but I don’t think that’s true. I think the show writers can’t figure out any other reason Damon would feel kindly toward her, but they can be friends. They can be sibling-like. Damon’s kind of her brother-in-law, y’know? I always feel sorry for people who seem to think romantic love is the only reason for kindness or care. Their lives must be very bleak.

Elena thanks Isobel for being a disappointment, so she can remember her real mother perfectly. Isobel warns her that as long as she’s in with the Salvatores, she’s fucked. Katharine was smart enough to get out, but “we all know you aren’t Katharine.” I haven’t seen your titties once!

Isobel leaves, Stefan hugs Elena, Damon looks on in what we’re supposed to interpret as romantic longing, but I hate it, I refuse.

Elena wants to talk to Jeremy about everything, but he’s rightfully pissed about Damon erasing his memories. (“For good”, remember that? when Damon thought he brain damaged Jeremy so much he’d never remember? Ah, good times!)

Jeremy still can’t get hold of Anna.

Isobel says goodbye to Alaric, saying she’s leaving. They fight a little, obviously. She’s a different person, what did he think he’d find, he throws his ring and his vervain at her, daring her to kill him. He doesn’t think she wanted to be a vampire, and she says she did - but she’ll regret it forever.

Anna finally turns up at Jeremy’s to tell him Pearl and Harper are dead.

Stefan threatens Damon about Elena. Yawn. But then at the end, he puts together something I missed: John is Elena’s dad. Isobel dated him when she was 15, she ended up in his brother’s office, she’s still working with him now… Damn, Damon, you’re good. I missed all of that!

Stefan asks him what proof he has, and he says that’s for John, Elena, and Maury Povich to deal with.

Isobel is, apparently, actually leaving. She calls John and tells him that what he’s looking for is on his doorstep (his ring and the device) and that he’d better not screw up. Katharine wants all the raveyard vamps dead, and Isobel is adding two to the list: The Salvatores. Duh. Isobel doesn’t “want this life for her”, meaning Elena. “She’s our daughter, John,” she says, more to inform the audience than to admonish him.

Caroline meets Bonnie at the grill in our literal last minute. She wants Bonnie to tell her what’s going on between her and Elena. Bonnie says she “did something bad”. To Elena. She pretended to do something that she couldn’t really do - that Grams wouldn’t have done, so she didn’t do it. But when Elena finds out….

Friday’s our finale, y’all! Bonnie not disenchanting the device will come up, I hope! As will Elena’s parentage! And I hope Katharine shows up! I do not want to have to hear about this bitch for another 22 episodes, tell you what.

Till Friday!

[revchainsaw]

The Crow (1994)

Alright Cult of Cult. Do I really need to introduce this one? Let's get all 90s and gothy and maybe brace ourselves for a bit of cringe, but like in a fun way. It's the Holy Grail of Hot Topic, 1994's the Crow Starring Brandon Lee.

Sermon

Apparently before the auto industry totally crashed Detroit was already a total fucked to death pile of burning shit, or at least that's what the crow would have you believe. Sorry Bruce Campbell, and other people from Detroit, but mostly Bruce Campbell. According to the Crow the city of Detroit is the kind of place where gangs of warlock anarchist arsonists will bomb buildings, and murder and rape whoever they feel like and then walk around bragging about it the next day with absolutely zero consequences. Funny then that if Detroit was so bad they had to go to film this movie in Wilmington North Carolina which is definitely a fucked to death pile of burning shit. I can say that, I'm from there and I got the fuck out. My brother is going to kill me if he ever reads this. (It's okay, these are all jokes people). Did you know they also filmed the Super Mario Bros movie there ... also cuz they needed a really shitty looking distopia. Moving on ...

The ludicrous criminality of the Crow's Detroit is particularly on display on Halloween. In Detroit (apparently) Halloween is known as Devils Night and it's legitimately just a night of pure lawlessness and chaos and kids aren't even safe to get candy, except later when we do see trick or treaters. Eric Draven, hunky goth rocker who sort of looks like he could be Bruce Lee's Kid and his fiance are murdered by a gang of vicious criminals. One year hence, Eric is resurrected by a mystical crow (that is actually a Raven), to exact his revenge on the gang that murdered him.

He paints his face like sad Alice Cooper and refuses to listen to Joy Division, just covers. He murders Tin Tin (a knife guy) just for his long gothy duster, he murders Fun Boy and forcibly ejects heroine from her arms and tells her "Go be a good mom now" which actually works. (have I told you about our Lord and Savior Sting? He gave me the strength to get off drugs), he blows T Bird up dick first, and then comes for Skab? Scraap? Scooby? in a meeting of all of Detroits villains and just about kills them all.

He is supported by the most 90s little girl to have ever graced the screen, and I am here for it, and Officer Albrecht, who's played by Ernie Hudson but I like to call him Zeddemore: The Most Underrated Ghostbuster. The leader of the bad guys, who I cannot beleive wasn't played by Brad Dourif or Tom Waits, is pretty interested in the occult. He keeps his witchy girlfriend around and she makes him fun dishes like smoked eyeballs, and her main use is that she knows that the Crow is the Crows weakness. They set Tony Fucking Todd on the bird, and I guess you just have to hurt the bird and not kill it, and Eric loses his healing factor and other macabre undead powers.

The Crow, Jimmy the Raven, pecks out Dr. Girlfriends eyeballs, I honestly forget how Tony Todd gets offed, and Top Dollar gets Gargoyled (that is impaled on a gargoyle). Funnily enough that is more Gargoyle related impaling on screen then in the actual movie Gargoyle: Wings of Darkness where a Gargoyle is supposed to have impaled a guy.

The Benediction

Best Feature: Injustice League

In the Crow we have not only a set of super memorable villains but they are played by the bad guy all stars. John Polito as the most lowly of the bad guys as a kind of sleazy pawn shop owner who buys ill gotten gains. Tony Todd, who's size is really on display here, the freaking Candy Man is in this movie. T Bird is the head of Top Dollars goons and is played by David Patrick Kelly, you might know as the "Warriors Come Out and Play!!" bottle guy from the Warriors, or as Jimmy Horne from Twin Peaks, and of course Top Dollar himself is played by Michael Wincott. Wincott is not a particularly celebrated actor but has played villains effectively in Robin Hood, the Three Musketeers, and Dead Man.

Best Set Piece: Detroit Style Hot Dogs

The Set design of the Crow is perhaps one of it's most fantastic features. It's very moody and ethereal. It's just real enough to not take you out of the film, but fantastic enough to set mood and theme above realism. From Eric Draven's apartment, to the church where the final battle occurs they are all fantastic. I think that's why I really wanted to shine the spot light on a very minor set piece that would get nary a mention but just as effectively represents the qualities I was just talking about and that is the Maxi Doggs Hot Dog Stand, where a lot of the films exposition for audience surrogates takes place.

Worst Effect: Freeze Frame

At a few points in the movie the film makers made a strange decision to do these freeze frame transitions. I only noticed it twice in the movie where it was particularly stupid. I'm sure the film makers at the time thought it was a moody and atmospheric choice that highlighted the suffering that Eric Draven was going through, but it didn't age well. If you don't have the sensibilities of a goth girl from 1994 then it's very very hard not to laugh at just how self involved the movie is about it's super sadness.

Worst Feature: Tragic Accident

Solely based on the film itself, it is that very gothic and dated sensibility that hurts the Crow. The little sarcastic dance he does when he flees the police, quoting Edgar Allen Poe, and bowing to Albrecht. These affected behaviors that I'm sure seemed snarky and right on to the target audience only serve to make Eric Draven seem like an unbearable neck beard edgelord and not the troubled dark soul he's supposed to be. I'm sure at the time it seemed unique and gothy but that shit went out of style for good reason, people could see through it. It's a shame that the Crow himself was some of the cringiest parts of this movie now that I'm seeing it as an adult and not a 13 year old middle class boy with no real problems.

This however is not the low point of the movie. It's not news now and if you're reading some dudes review of The Crow on Tumblr then you probably already know the story. The worst thing about The Crow is that Brandon Lee was horrifically killed on set while filming this movie due to some negligible prop malfunctions. A series of unfortunate events that lead to the actor spending 6 hours in surgery fighting for his life before eventually passing. It was not a quick or painless death and it's really impossible to watch the movie without an appreciation for the fact that this kind of fun dark adventure was going to be a vehicle for Brandon Lee's career wound up taking his life. He was 28. I really wish I could have just bitched about the goofy goth stuff and moved on, but that's not the world we live in.

Best Effect: The Gargoyling

Maybe I should have called this best kill. But I'm not sure which it is. The slaying of Top Dollar at the Climax of the film was just super effective. The pointed wings impaling his chest and that horn coming out of his mouth, it was morbid and excellent and just fit the tone of the movie perfectly. I mean how many other movies can you say Cause of Death: Impaled on a Gargoyle.

Best Bird: The Raven

I tried very hard to look up the name of the bird that primarily performed in this movie and could not find anything. There was a Raven once upon a time called Jimmy the Raven, but that was in the 50s and I don't think birds live that long. There was a team of Ravens performing as the crow, they were chosen over crows for their larger size, and more imposing silhouettes. I just think it's so wonderful to see these often maligned birds get a chance to show off their talents. Corvids of all kinds are incredibly intelligent creatures. Im a sucker for animals, if you haven't already figured that out. I really liked seeing the ravens hit their marks, particularly the one whos job it was to drop the wedding ring into Sarah's hand at the end of the film. You can see that greedy little bastard do his trick and then look of camera at his trainer like "treat please!". It's very cute.

Best Actor: Top Dollar Performance

I'd love to take this opportunity to just put praise upon Brandon Lee, he truly gave everything for this role, but unfortunately with what was put to film we actually have very few character moments with Eric Draven. Stuff happens to him, and he does killings and fights. There's definitely some personality, but I felt like I walked away knowing almost nothing about who Eric Draven was. He was clearly a good dude but that and a few hobbies and a relationship and you don't really have a character yet. He's unfortunately not given a lot of acting to do, instead just relegated to stunts and action sequences. That were notably cool.

The bad guys in the Crow have a lot more character and among this who's who of character actors, Michael Wincott takes the cake. Hell he was standing next to Candyman himself, Tony Todd and still stealing the scenes.

Best Character: A Few Good Apples

Is the best character in The Crow really going to be the cop? The commissioner Gordon stand in? yeah, it is. Not to be political, but I don't like cops, but I guess in a world with magical birds and eyeball smoking I can suspend my disbelief and let Ernie Hudson be #1 cop dad. His character is really the heart of the film, since all Eric can do is brood and fight, we have to care about someone in this movie.

Best Sequence: Halloween Party

The best sequence of the movie is of course the scene where Eric Draven busts in on the Devil's Night party planning commission. I think Top Dollar brought Scrappy Doo there just so he could lure out the crow, knowing the baddest assholes in all of Detroit would be gathered it was likely that somebody was going to kill the beast, or if they couldn't at least Top Dollar could get a feel for his enemy. It's a bullet flying action sequence with a ton of weight. I can't put my finger on this all to common weightless third act problem that big budget super hero and action flicks have nowadays, but whatever that issue is, the Crow does not have that issue. From this point on the Climax feels earned and I am invested. For that reason, The Crow is honestly better in spite of its awkwardness, than many of the super hero movies out today.

Worst Sequence: My Guitar Gently Weeps

Speaking of brooding or fighting. The best sequence was fighting, the worst is brooding. I get that Eric was in a band or something, but didn't he have shit to do. It seemed like it was a cool idea for a shot, but for like a whole seen, watching somebody play an 80s guitar solo, that stood out so brazenly from the choices of music in the rest of the movie was extra corny. It felt like someone's( dad trying to relate to their kid. Oh you like Music. The Dresden Dolls eh? Oh man, then you're going to love Slash's Snake Pit!

Summary

The Crow is dated. It is iconic but I wonder how many of the people that hang that poster on the wall have watched that movie since they were kids. It's interesting how what i've liked and disliked about this film have changed so much sense I was a kid. It's a cheeseball fiesta. If you have matured at all beyond thinking that being sad is the same as being deep then you're going to like it a little less than you did when you were younger, but it is still solid. There's not much to hate on. I'd watch it over and over again. I was really afraid it would not hold up at all, but returning to The Crow was a completely positive experience.

Overall Grade: B

[ourstarscollided]

jatp fanworks appreciation - day 3 (wips)

wip wednesday - I didn’t think I wanted to join in on this day for my own stuff considering I’ve never posted anything original for this fandom, but I think this might just be the little boost I need from myself to actually finish the wips that I have sitting around. I am peer pressuring myself and holding myself accountable by posting this - or at least that’s what I’m telling myself. Most of the past 6 mths has just been me screaming to no one in a Google Doc, so here are some things I’ve been ruminating about over the last 6 months (and if my secret agenda is to get other people to write about it so I don’t have to? Then that’s between you and me).

Everything’s under a read more because I like giving context and that usually spirals out of control!?!?

If you would like to see more from any of the below, feel free to shoot me an ask/message and I can definitely share some more! (Or you can just come yell at me about JATP in general.)

Strangers Fake Dating AU // Julie x Luke

I’m a simple person. I see a prompt, I latch onto it, and then I completely miss the entire point of the prompt as my imagination goes wild for no real reason. This really was supposed to be a super short drabble, but it manifested into a 3k+ thing that isn’t even finished.

Julie’s not really sure what she’s supposed to do now. Nothing has ever prepared her for a situation in which she’s supposed to pretend to be a stranger’s girlfriend, especially if that situation involves parents. Does she continue this ruse? Can she come up with a quick enough excuse to tell this Luke character that she actually can’t stay? What if this is just all an elaborate plan to kidnap her? Has she been listening to too many true crime podcasts? Why does Luke smell so good? Does he know how to cook? Why does his shirt not have sleeves? What-

“I can hear you thinking from here.” Her head whips up at the sound of Luke’s voice, which is now at a whisper and kind of frantic. “I just- I just really needed to get my mom off my back, so I kinda need you to pretend to be my girlfriend. Just for the night. I swear I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

Julie studies Luke’s face and it’s nearly impossible to not cave under his gaze, which can only be simply described as ‘puppy dog eyes’. She finds herself smiling back, letting out a huff, “I hope you like lasagna.” And the grin that spreads across the boy’s face is enough for her to know that he’s incredibly relieved that she agreed.

“I’m Luke by the way. Luke Patterson.”

(Okay, he’s kinda cute. And no one this cute is a serial killer. Right?)

She gives a small smile back, “I’m Julie.”

//

5+1 alive!Juke AU // Julie x Luke

Inspired by paper - LANY

This is one of the first things I ever felt the urge to write down back in September because I love exploring the idea of how two people can appear to be the perfect relationship on the outside, but are actually fighting their own demons. Especially when it comes to celebrities and people who are in the spotlight. It’s basically a 5+1 fic about the moments from other people’s perspectives who happen to orbit around Julie/Luke that all revolve around paper. My outline for this is so long because I can’t manage to narrow it down, and there’s zero cohesiveness but I do have little things jotted down.

“Hey little man,” Luke’s knelt down to match his 5 year-old height, and a hand extends out to him for a high five, “What are you doing here?”

His eyes flicker to the left, towards his own apartment door, where his mom is giving him an encouraging nod. “ I- I just wanted to-” he stutters and finds himself looking at his feet as he shuffles back and forth on the spot. “I- I drew you guys something!”

He shoves the paper out towards the older boy in front of him, but doesn’t look up.

//

Reincarnation AU // Julie x Luke

I had a random thought in December about how magical it is that Julie and Luke are so tied to one another that their love transcends time and space, which will always lead them back to one another. I remember reading a book a long time ago about how the main character is fated to die at a certain age, and that kind of sparked this little idea. I can’t bring myself to actually plot out every single timeline right now, but I did manage to write a little bit.

It will never be as complex as Rosie’s idea and all the wonderful additions in the link here, and I don’t really plan on it being anything more than a small idea. But I really do still think someone should write some sort of reincarnation AU cause I’d hop on that so fast!!

“Okay- that’s not- Luke. You seriously just ran away?”

“What was I supposed to do Alex? We all know how this ends.”

His friend looks at him, face painted in understanding and he sighs, “Yeah. Yeah, we do.”

Because it’s true, Alex does know, so does Reggie and Bobby. Most importantly, so does Luke. It’s the exact same tragic love story every time.

Call it a curse or fate or destiny. Maybe it’s because Mercury is in retrograde. Whatever. It always ends the same way - with a heartbreaking goodbye, a whisper of the promise that they’ll find each other again, and the possibility of a happy ending. He’s said the same goodbye at least 734 times, but it’s not like he’s counting or anything. Fuck the universe and its mystical ways.

//

Competitive Alex // Alex x Willie

No real thoughts or reasons for this other than I just think I self-projected my need to play board games with people in real life into a fic. And maybe a little bit of my competitiveness onto Alex and then threw in Willie because I think he would be able to handle it while also finding it endearing. I also have written nothing about the actual competitiveness, it’s just 2k words of Alex crushing on Willie.

“Wait,” his eyes dart between the three boys, “You both know Willie? How come I’ve never met him?”

His roommates look at each other, and there’s a smirk on Luke’s face when he says, “Actually Alex, I think you have. Remember that time you got really drunk after one of our shows?”

Oh no. He really hopes that it’s not the time he’s thinking of, so he tries to sound nonchalant. “You’re going to have to be more specific, Luke.”

“The night we played at that tiny bar at the edge of the campus! We got paid in those tiny colourful shots?” He doesn’t really know where Luke is going with this, so he’s slowly nodding along. “And you were super upset that the hot dog vendor at the end of the street was closed?”

//

Dear Julie, Love Mom series

I made myself sad with this thought when I first watched the show and was talking to my friend about how I think that Rose would’ve left messages for the Molina family, especially when we found out that Wake Up was actually from her mom. I wrote a bigger explanation for it here.

Anyways, I started with the one for Julie’s wedding and it kind of became an 8k monster with three different POVs?!? As much as I love how I wrote this, I feel too unsure about my writing to share it in full, so you will get carefully selected looks alkfe. (I’m also kind of stuck on some of the more emotional scenes and I may or may not have procrastinated by photoshopping a moodboard for it.)

Excerpt 1 (Julie POV): A look into where I’m going with this whole letters from Rose thing.

The key clicks into place, and with a turn, the latch falls open. She’s not sure what she wants to find in the box, and she’s too scared to think about it really. All she knows is that this was the sign from her mom that she was waiting for all week, and in true Rose fashion, her mom had managed to give it to her, even if at the last second. Her dad turns the box to face Julie, and gestures to her to open up the lid.

Tucked inside is a VHS tape, the words ‘For Julie, on your wedding day’ written in her mom’s cursive on the cover. Some loose glitter and confetti fall back into the box as she reaches in to pick up the tape and turn it over in her hands. There’s a little purple butterfly etched on the back, the same one that’s been drawn on all the other messages that her mom had left her. Her finger automatically finds its way, tracing the shape of the small doodle.

“Do you want me to leave you alone, mija?”

Excerpt 2 (Julie POV): This part has absolutely nothing to do with the main plot of the story, but it self-inserted itself into this fic after @tangledstarlight and I talked about You’re Still the One by Shania Twain being their first dance. This whole scene came to me at 4am one night and might be the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written.

They knew that when they had asked Reggie to be in charge of the first dance performance, that they (and Alex) weren’t allowed to veto any of his ideas. Luke had warned Julie that that would be a mistake, but the giddiness that radiated off of Reggie when she had told him he could have free reign was worth it. She just hadn’t thought that he would actually take it to heart and run with it.

Sure, they had chosen You’re Still the One by Shania Twain as their first dance song, and sure it was more or less a country song, but she didn’t really imagine that she’d be staring at her adoptive brother, Carlos and her Dad wearing cowboy hats and boots at her wedding. They had somehow managed to ditch their Flynn-approved suit jackets and were sporting a taupe-coloured suede-textured vest over their dress shirts. If she looked closely, she could see that they had somehow also found some gaudy looking bolo ties with a matching set of ornamental clasps to wear. When she envisioned her wedding, she really didn’t expect that her first (public) dance as a married couple would be a full-on Western themed occasion. The only exception was Alex, who had settled on his cajon in the back, still in his pink suit, eyes rolling when she met his gaze. But even she knew how there was no real annoyance in the blonde’s reaction or else he wouldn’t also be wearing one of the tacky ties around his neck as well.

“I’m gonna seriously kill him.” She hears Luke grumble under his breath, only low enough for her to hear. But she’s still too busy giggling to actually be mad, and she knows that Luke isn’t really going to kill Reggie. At least she doesn’t think so.

Excerpt 3 (Luke POV): Idk man. My mind went “What about Luke?” and I said “You’re right!! What about him?!?”

He doesn’t realize that he’s just been silently staring at the woman in front of him, until a gentle voice breaks him out of his thoughts. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Julie’s peering at him from under her eyelashes, a curious look on her face.

“You just-” he gives a little shake of his head, trying to come up with the right words. He wants to tell her she’s beautiful. Stunning. A wicked beauty. But she’s more than that - she’s almost angelic. “I can’t believe you’re my wife.”

“Luke, we’ve been legally married for like, a whole year.” Her lips are quirked up in a grin, amusement in her voice. “You’ve only just realized that now?”

“That’s different.”

“Yeah? Different how?”

This feels a little strange to post and a little like my inner self seeking validation but let’s not talk about that.

Kskssj anyways present me @ future me: finish one of these because writing has been really cathartic for you and you didn’t think it would bring you so much joy!!!

[inspector-montoya-fox]

#3 - Vicious Voodoo

Setting: from ghost town to zombie swamp. Sly makes his way to the swamps of Haiti and SP wastes absolutely no time in establishing that this episode has to do with the supernatural (through both the opening cutscene and Bentley’s ranting). we’re entering morbidity itself, and the missions are truly eerie. the structuring and ideas here match each other but are also well-spread. for example, Mesa City had different locations for its missions, but it was the same decor and aesthetic in all of them. here, we get a waterfall overflowing with body-parts, lots of wilderness, a chicken coop, a beast’s “human”-built lair, and some kind of voodoo epicentre with rotating snake heads. there’s variety in environment and detail, and that makes it feel refreshing even though we’re being constantly bombarded by a flurry of guards. but i think SP mixed up their influences in regards to tone. replaying the game as a teen, i wasn’t sure if the episode was reminiscent of Haiti, or Southern US. Mz Ruby’s accent and Down Home Cooking gave me Louisiana vibes, if i’m being honest. it’s not bad, it’s just that it’s not really Haiti. lastly, Vicious Voodoo’s green suits its setting perfectly. it’s just... green... ?

Characters: Mz Ruby is probably my favorite villain in the series, alongside the Contessa and Neyla. she’s just it. she gives absolutely zero fucks about Sly being a few feet away from her and just keeps on spitting out shapes from her mouth. apart from giving us the most iconic bossfight in the series, she really delivers the sense of evil. like, she’s horrible but in a good way. her design exhibits her connections to the mystical, with details such as the huge, dangling necklaces, the bandana, and the huge ruby on her bellybutton. similar to Muggshot, her motives stem from being bullied and not fitting in and she gets some sympathy points for that... i think. Sly, on the other hand, is nearly at the end of his phase of naiveté. we get the sense that Vicious Voodoo is perhaps too much fun for him. the exhilarating experience of being chased by a huge swamp snake, suicide-bombing roosters, rat ghosts and hungry piranhas results in Sly adopting a very stern tone when finally confronting Mz Ruby. whereas the raccoon tends to be ironic and mock his rivals before the bossfight begins, i felt as if he was being very impatient and serious with the alligator witch. this “frustration” will soon manifest in Fire in the Sky.

Themes: i’m not sure about this one. i don’t want to be basic and say that this is the spooky level but horror is definitely the overarching “mood” and then there’s some themes under that umbrella. the first thing that comes to mind is life and death. death because of the ghosts, zombies, the impending doom, getting your blood sucked by giant mosquitos, y’know. Mz Ruby’s scheme revolves around raising the dead so Sly is in pretty unfamiliar territory (we’ll circle back to that point when discussing the Contessa episodes and the Mask of Dark Earth). as for the life aspect, it has to do with the zombies Mz Ruby is supposedly conjuring - the idea of resurrection and all that. it’s not really explored but it opposes all the death in the episode. the only other thing i can think of is speed as a theme. the missions are thrilling, to say the least. Down Home Cooking and Piranha Lake suffocate the player with intense gameplay, whereas The Lair of the Beast is a nightmare for anyone with even slight anxiety. however, speed doesn’t necessarily mean fast. the rest of the levels strike a nice balance between fast and slow pacing. in Descent Into Danger, we make our way to the top of the hub in a very stealthy way just to then rigorously slide into a waterfall of bones. prior to Lair of the Beast’s climax, the build-up is very cleverly executed as it feels lengthy and gradual. even in the hub things seem to be comparatively chill, and then the swamp snake pops out of its lair to open the gates, or you get blasted by a manhole cover. there’s also a satanic undertone worth commenting on, as seen by the gate in The Dread Swamp Path, which is the skull of a ram with huge bat wings. yeah...

What I Like: Mz Ruby, obviously. the dialogue, the bossfight, the voice acting: the whole thing. she’s amazing. other than that,  favourite detail would have to be the fact that your controller vibrates when Sly’s feet are touching the water in The Lair of the Beast. gives me the chills even after 18 fucking years.

What I Don’t Like: i think there’s too much variation in gameplay here. i’d like to have a bit more fun exploring the swamps. i love Down Home Cooking, but you also have the hover blaster and the swamp skiff gameplay. i mean, we get a pretty decent amount of standard platforming, but after the Mesa levels’ gameplay variation i wish we could get more from the swamps, because of the rich world building.

Quote: literally everything that comes out of Mz Ruby’s mouth. everything. from most distastefully bad juju to the way she says Chumley.

[flynn-science]

Ryan Reacts to Kingdom Hearts 3

Okay, so this is a mix of live reactions and post-world reactions. Lot of live reactions in the beginning and end, more sporadic in between. You can probably guess what I’m reacting to most of the time from the sequence of events.

Mmm dat orchestral Don’t Think Twice Needed a minute on the menu. Finally seeing it say KH3 was A Lot. HOLY FUCK WHAT A COOL INTRO The speed is the same as 0.2, with that sprint that kicks in. Will take some getting used to. The stained glass looks gorgeous though Nice touch of KH1 Sora’s jump animation changing to KH2 Sora’s Making choices again like the original. Vitality is probably health, Wisdom is probably magic, and Balance is, well, balanced. I’ll go balanced. (I’m on Proud, btw) Guardian, Warrior, Mystic. Same as the weapons in KH1. In that case, I’ll make the same choice I do there: Guardian. SORA HAS AN IDLE ANIMATION OH MY GOD BLOCK AND DODGE FROM THE START! Also this sky place is new for a Dive to the Heart (AND THOSE HOOOORNS, LISTEN TO THEM) The water looks great A four-hit combo instead of the usual three? Huh Scan from the start too Nice detail of Sora’s head angling towards the locked on target All this music sounds SO GOOD I’MMA NEED THIS SOUNDTRACK ONCE I’M DONE Ahhh that little soft version of Sora’s theme WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS KINGDOM HEARTS II.9 SHIT These Instagram-style posts on loading screens are adorable Oh damn, we get a LOT of abilities from the start. And this is on Proud! Dodge Roll, Air Slide, Aerial Dodge (formerly a Master Form ability), plus all the Flowmotion stuff Wow, THREE shortcut menus! 12 total! Wow, and a LOT more control over how allies use items. That can be very useful! Sweet, synthesis materials are back! Water is an interesting new spell. And being able to reorder the Magic menu is nice (though I only use shortcuts). Kinda glad the item art has stayed the same. Also hey, Wellspring is from BBS. And first AP Boost of course goes into Sora, as will they all. WOW USING THOSE IS WAY FASTER NOW Yooo that Underworld music with the Titans’ appearance Take a shot every time someone says “Sora, Donald, Goofy” Sora, Donald, Goofy counter: 1 HERCULES HAS JOINED THE PARTY “Team Effort: Always start battles with a team attack command.” Damn, what are those that this ability is FIFTY AP?! (Are team attacks that move we saw Sora and Goofy do in a trailer? The throw?) I like that tutorials are playable at any time Also I was worried Save Points might not return with that auto save message at the start ALSO THIS IS NIGHT OF FATE PLAYING IN THE COMBAT TUTORIAL Ooh, Panacea art is nice. (Panacea has only appeared as a command in games like BBS and re:coded, so it hasn’t had art before) *reads Ability Ring* Damn, if 10 AP is a SMALL boost, I can’t imagine how expensive abilities are gonna get (well, Herc does have that one 50 AP ability) Ultima Weapon returns, looks like Synthesis recipes are based more on collector’s goals than finding them. Looks like there’s 60 synthesis materials, sounds about right. Ooh, synthesis item rarities, types: soothing and pulsing are from BBS, writhing, betwixt, sinister are new. Looks like everything goes in Shards, Stones, and Gems. Ooh that’s a lot of Heartless. Hey when is Jiminy gonna show up? Gonna need to complete that Journal again. Oooh battle music has bits of the old Coliseum battle music. Sora, Donald, Goofy counter: 2 Environmental fire damage followed by Sora’s butt on fire limiting my actions. Neat. Okay, these have been live reactions so far, but I’m gonna stop doing that because it’s slowing my progress. “What the heck is Rage Form?” “OH. OH THAT’S A THING.” I keep seeing hidden Mickeys, I bet those are gonna be a thing with the camera once I get it. Also damn are they giving me a lot of ingredients for the cooking minigame I can’t play yet. So the biggest thing I’ve noticed about the new combat is that because they give you so many really powerful abilities (grand magic at higher levels, formchanges, attractions, team attacks) that are all basically free (are you hitting things with your keyblade or magic? Can you hit this specific enemy once? Can you wait for your teammate to give you a prompt?), the number of enemies in each fight seems to have SIGNIFICANTLY increased from previous entries. KH2’s level design this is NOT. Lots more nooks and crannies to search. Me approaching the gates of Olympus: “Is this Anor Londo?” Yay nostalgic Coliseum music! And oooh little environmental puzzles are back! Like from KH1! I forged Goofy a new shield! Aaaand playable Riku. I have no idea why they were so dodgy about the second playable character. This is only the third time Riku’s been playable. Anyway, gotta fight the Demon Tower again. Damn, Riku is WAY stronger than Sora right now. Wish I could have read his abilities (and moved shortcuts). Nice emulation of the death screen. Also hot damn, is that Repliku talking??? I guess Riku’s “other me” really could be Repliku. Awwwww yeah, Lea’s getting new clothes too! YEAH JIMINY! “Dream Heartbinder” So Heartbinders must be this game’s summon gems, and this one lets me use Dream Eaters. SORA’S THEME IS THE RINGTONE!!! Ienzo’s here, with a bit of OrgXIII music from CoM. HOLY SHIT THE GUMMI SHIP IS THE BEST IT’S EVER BEEN UPGRADEABLE KEYBLADES?! I guess that makes sense, considering they all have different formchanges. They want all of them to stay viable throughout the game. OH MY GOD, DEMON TIDE HAS SO MUCH HEALTH I guess the bosses have to with all these powerful attacks I have Does Hayner have a new voice? Olette sounds different too. Checked the wiki, all three have different actors. Pence sounds closest to his original though. So judging by the Dusks and Snipers, no more enemy-specific reaction commands. The Ducklings sell Gummi blocks now?? Huh. Whoa wait, the road out of Twilight Town’s Tram Common leads back to the world map? Can I NOT go to the clock tower in this game?? Man, Twilight Town felt really small. Hope the remaining worlds don’t, though they’ve certainly seemed significantly larger than the two I’ve been to so far. Also, totally called the Lucky Emblems, though I’m gonna keep calling them hidden Mickeys. I think Tou Story is my favorite world. Granted, I’ve only been to three, but still. The Gigas are super fun, Woody and Buzz look amazing, and I can’t stop whistling/humming along! AHHH CREEPY DOLL Lol, the Verum Nox poster even has a Square Enix logo. First death, the Gigas battle in the video game. GOD DAMN! WOODY dropping an amazing “The Reason You Suck” speech to Xehanort! “Unless you’re in the ~real~ Organization too? Good for you!” Damn, Sora! Also love hearing that music from Chain of Memories every so often Glad flowmotion’s jump isn’t as level-breaking as it was in DDD. Same goes for the attacks. Wow, so Rapunzel permanently leaves the party. Was wondering they’d just give her a different moveset like with Mulan/“Ping”. This is the first time a character permanently leaves your party. And of course, Marluxia. Who I didn’t think could or would return. And Vexen who rejoined willingly, which is, man. Not something I’d have done. Both Norted of course. And was Saïx missing his scar? Maybe he’s just Isa now. I could tell it was Unversed, and Flood specifically, in that first Monstropolis cutscene just from the sound of them spawning. That’s how I know I’ve put a lot of hours into this series. Monstropolis feels the most linear so far. Arendelle’s ice labyrinth is awesome, the level design gives me some light Dark Souls vibes. I like how there’s zero explanation for Sora, Donald, and Goofy being able to breathe underwater in The Caribbean. And by that I mean I would have liked even just one line to explain it. The ship combat isn’t as good as AC3’s and AC4’s, but it’s still pretty good for a one-world mechanic! The ship is a LOT more responsive than the AC ones. And damn, is this world open. Okay, San Fransokyo is gonna be a pain to search for chests and Mickeys. PRESS TRIANGLE TO SORA IS THE BEST REACTION COMMAND I HAVE EVER SEEN Jiminy telling people about summaries on the gummiphone is Square Enix saying “IF YOU DIDN’T PLAY THE GAMES, READ THE FUCKING SUMMARIES” Giant battle at the start of Keyblade Graveyard was cool, but hurt the frames, especially on the fake shadows. And just as I was getting hyped at the possibility of having Riku and Aqua as party members. Oh hey, just realized Riku’s keyblade has a Mickey keychain now too. “And so, as legend foretold, darkness prevailed and light expired...” “Your hearts will be torn from your bodies” “To move through time, you must leave your body behind.” THE FINAL WORLD?! Wait, Sora’s been here MULTIPLE times?? Okay, so the star talking about the person who’d miss them, whose heart has been taken by another’s? Strelitzia? Talking about Lauriam? Love and hate? Going back for fight after fight? Hm. Cloud or Sephiroth maybe? (Longshot, but it doesn’t sound like a khux character, or anyone else) Identical pair? There’s no twins in this series. Like walking alongside a mirror... maybe it’s not an literal identical nature? Same clothes, same food, maybe Xion?? “Nothing left to teach you”? Damn, that’s not much to go on. Maybe Eraqus’ and Xehanort’s master?? “Just friends... stepped back” Skuld maybe? “I’m gone... they’ve added another member” Could that be Xion? Wait, no, how could Xion be here, she’s still within Sora’s heart. Are these actual named characters we’ve met before? Or not? The one who was defeated and supposed to fade... Repliku?? But he’s with Riku now... Someone searching for their Papa??? Most of the characters in this series don’t have parents at all, so my only guess here is Pinocchio?? No way a Disney character ends up here though. I don’t think all of these are characters we know. Someone holding onto a sliver of memory, and a servant?? Yeah, these could all just have been ordinary people. Naminé?! What happened to Kairi??? Okay, so the darkness split them. KAIRI IS KEEPING SORA FROM FADING AWAY OH MY HEART “GO TO HER” SHE SAYS "That's not the official thank-you!" Lol Damn, this area is fuckin huge, why is it so huge?? A PORTAL?! A DDD PORTAL HERE?! Well this place is rad. I better see that weird Darkside at some point here OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH OH IT ROTATES THAT'S FUCKIN SICK God damn, this game's got some of the best level design of the series! Is... is this OUR Chirithy? “He doesn’t remember the past”? Although I guess it could be Marluxia/Luxord/Demyx’s too. Or Ven’s. My bet is that it’s Ven’s. DID SORA JUST TIME JUMP BACK A FEW MINUTES??? Aaaand did nothing different. So now we’re world-hopping like we did back in End of the World. OH WHAT IS THIS DIVING INTO STATIONS TO PICK A WORLD?!?! YOOOOOOOO Just Kairi and Lea are left. Haven’t hit San Fransokyo or Twilight Town yet. Guess they must be in those two. Last one is San Fransokyo. Lea must be here. Kairi’s probably gonna be the last. “Traversing hearts to reach worlds” That must be what I’ve been doing here. Not jumping between worlds, jumping between HEARTS. Was Sora just considering telling her he loves her? He should have. Wait, am I back in time? This already happened... OH SHIT! THE LINGERING WILL IS HERE! EPHEMER! OHHHHHHH HO HO WOW! OHHHHHH FUCK! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Congrats to all the lucky people who got their names in the game! PRESS TRIANGLE TO UNION X GIANT SHADOW MASTER XEHANORT IS TERRIFYING I like how Axel is holding his keyblade by the guard instead of the handle OH SHIT MASTER YEN SID! YOOOOOO! Okay KH3, I want to fight thirteen bosses now, you hear me? DAMN that Ancient Light finisher on Starlight’s Second Form is STRONG YOOOOOOO THREE BOSSES AT ONCE??? (I really hope this is as tough as they were before, but seeing as Xemnas was harder in 1 than in 2, doubt it) Went to help Mickey first, so I’m taking on Marluxia, Luxord, and Larxene Oh come ooooon, I barely got to fight them! Luxord’s out, 12 to go OH SHIT THE OTHER TWO Larxene’s done, 11 to go. With XI conveniently up next. Marluxia’s defeated once again. 10 left. Hey whatever happened with that comment of their ancient keyblade legacy...? Xigbar... might be gone? So maybe 9 left. Dark Repliku is defeated, and light Repliku gave himself up so the Replica could be used for Namine. That’s sweet. 8 left. YO actual time of day change! I like the door switches. Nice having little environmental things like this. Hm, Kairi and Lea one way, Aqua and Ven the other. Well that’s no contest, gotta go back up my girl Kairi! Mysterious new hooded figure??? Oh. Oh no. I think it’s Xion. D: Yeah. It’s her. *Xion stops Xemnas “YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYYE YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH” *Roxas shows up “OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK” THE WHOLE GANG’S HERE YOOOOOOOOOOO Shout outs to Ienzo, Ansem, Vexen, and Demyx for helping Roxas return! WHY THE FUCK IS KAIRI GETTING KIDNAPPED A-FUCKING-GAIN, NOMURA WHY WAS SHE EVEN TRAINING, FUCK Okay, so Kairi and Lea/Axel are out, BUT ROXAS AND XION ARE IN OH HOLY SHIT, SORA SQUAD FORM UP!!!! I HAD TO STOP AND LISTEN TO THE MUSIC FOR A MINUTE It’s all three of their themes! (Plus a bit of Another Side) THIS IS THE HYPEST SHIT Aww, Saix’s death mirrors Xion’s. AND THE SEA-SALT TRIO REUNITE! Saix is out, 7 left. Xion turned, 6 left. Vanitas fades again, 5 left. I know some people had hoped for a heel-face turn, but I knew it wasn’t likely. WHAT TERRA’S HEART WAS IN ANSEM’S GUARDIAN THIS WHOLE TIME. THAT THEORY WAS RIGHT! Terra-nort’s back to just Terra. 4 left. Just wanna say, I love that it’s Sora who gets to turn the tides of all these fights. Who’s dull and ordinary NOW, huh?? AND he’s still going! Oh boy, time for a triple Xehanort fight! UMMM NINE KEYS (but why are they No Name and not the X-blade?) OOOOOOOHHHHHHH THIS BLEND OF ANSEM, XEMNAS, AND YOUNG XEHANORT'S THEMES Guardando Nel Buio, Darkness of the Unknown, and Impeto l’Oscurito 1V3 ME, I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON Young Xehanort returns to his time. 3 left. I like how we all agree to pause the fight whenever someone falls. Xemnas fades. 2 left. Ansem as well. Just 1 darkness left. WHAT THE FUCK, KAIRI NOOOOOOOOOOOO AH SHIT HE’S GOT THE X-BLADE AH SHIT HE’S GOT KINGDOM HEARTS Oh hey, everyone’s caught up. Donald: “You can’t do anything without us, Sora.” Me: “Donald, shut the FUCK UP.” Xion: “Kairi will be alright.” Me: “OH THANK GOD” Scala ad Caelum. Stairway to Heaven. It looks like a proto-Land of Departure. But the music is Case of the Foretellers from X Back Cover. Could this place and Land of Departure once have been Daybreak Town? Damn, Dark Kingdom Hearts is over the ENTIRE Keyblade Graveyard now Spooky twelve figures are spooky Why do they have the Organization’s weapons?! I love this return of Destati though They all had a shared HP bar? Scala ad Caelum’s world icon is kinda shaped like a heart Oh wow, full Inception Weird hearing Rage Awakened without the Lingering Will here “There is one sky, one destiny!” “DEEEESTAAAATI!” Ohhhhh shit Shout out to the heart in the floor design though And the figure in the middle has 7 points Classic Xehanort pose from the KH2 secret ending Aaaaand now he’s got ANOTHER Kingdom Hearts! GREAT WHOA HE FORCED ME INTO RAGE FORM DESTATI IN FULL FORCE WHAT A RAD FINISHING BLOW! The canon death screen, the heartbeat, Donald and Goofy calling from my controller! ONE BIG BLAST! So Xehanort sees himself as some sort of white knight? A templar to guide the masses with an iron fist? Yeah, no dice dude. Sora’s right, not your choice to make, and destiny is beyond your control. So Eraqus really WAS with Terra all this time. MARK HAMILL IS BACK!!! Xehanort just hands it over, huh? Wow, closure between Eraqus and his apprentices after all these years Eraqus and Xehanort mimic Sora and Riku from KH2, and pass on. Go get her, Sora. HIKARI ORCHESTRAL Ven met his Chirithy! Lea’s finally wearing his new outfit. Aw, Xion looks good too! And Isa’s here! Naminé is back too! And I bet the Namine/Riku shippers are happy! AWWW They’re all hanging out at Destiny Islands! Look at them all being friends!!! THERE THEY ARE! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

Epilogue: XIGBAR HAS BEEN LUXU THIS WHOLE TIME?! WHAT WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?! You know while watching Back Cover I was like “Man, the Master of Masters really talks like Xigbar for some reason.” BOY DOES THAT MAKE SENSE NOW So what was it about Ava’s role with the Dandelions that led to her absence here? AND WHAT’S IN THE GODDAMN BOX Is it a Book of Prophecies? Something else entirely? In any case, I doubt Maleficent and Pete would be able to get it away from them all. Secret Ending, “Yozora”: Ooh, “Another Side, Another Story” vibes right off the bat. SORA! And... Riku? Well this is just Japan. Wait, the guy from Verum Rex? And a black coat, who’s probably Xigbar/Luxu or the Master of Masters? After watching, a friend informed me that Riku is in Verum Rex. And Sora’s dead. Cause he’s in TWEWY’s version of Shibuya, since that one building said “104.” But which one is the black coat in? It could be the Master of Masters dead, in Sora’s world. Or Xigbar/Luxu, still watching things.

I have no idea what comes next. But I am excited.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Thoughts On Tales of Berseria

Soooooooo this is a very long overdue post (like a month late lol), but my health was in a meh state for a long time pretty much starting with when I first beat the game and technically still isn’t over yet but it’s bearable now so so that killed a lot of my motivation to do... much of anything, so here we are now. I also rewatched a good portion of the game while my friend was playing it for the first time and that helped me figure out my thoughts on it better (while talking with her about it).

I want to clarify that despite the... kind of negative tone of this analysis, I still really enjoyed Berseria. After all, it is a Tales game, and I love Tales, and there isn’t a single one I outright dislike. This also contains some spoilers for Tales of Zestiria, as the distant sequel to Berseria and a game that is very important to me as one of my favorite Tales so yeah, just a warning, I love Zestiria, and that’s gonna be prevalent here some.

Spoilers below. Also this is incredibly long, I am so sorry; if you read it all you deserve a medal, as usual:

This will mostly just be a collection of random points, not organized really in any particular way:

Burn is a badass opening. Fucking love it, and the animation with it; watched it every time, as expected.

I really enjoyed Berseria’s battle system; normally I’m not one to really scrutinize how good a gameplay system is or isn’t because I’m not actually good at playing lmao but I liked the soul system, and the break souls, and how you can do an epic chain of mystic artes together in a row <333 also Eizen’s dragon MA is just rude, okay.

The weapon upgrading system is so much easier and less confusing compared to Zestiria’s; thank fucking god

The cameo character side quest in this game is just... what the fuck, Bamco. not only did you use two of my least favorite characters in the entire Tales series, but you used them in the weirdest scenario ever. i’m so disturbed i want to... forget all of that... lol.

The soundtrack is okay, sadly not as standout as Zestiria’s but I expected that. :/ There are still a few amazing tracks though that I have listened to by themselves a lot; specifically Eizen’s theme, Rokurou’s theme, Shigure’s theme, all variations of Velvet’s theme (”True Will” is just UGH), Oscar’s theme okay so all the character themes lol, the Hellewes song I think, the song that plays in Palimedes Temple, “Time to Relax” (Titania Prison’s softer and more homey theme song), “The Last Word” (</3), the credits song, and the epilogue cutscene song ughhhh (my favorite).

Really wish there were more anime cutscenes. Feels like there were a few at the beginning and then..... literally none until almost the very end of the game; kinda disappointing.

I was really concerned when I first was told by somebody that most of the dialogue in the game is told through mandatory skits, but in the end it didn’t bother me as much as I expected it to. Still, I think they were overused a bit too much; I get that it’s easier but there’s only a limited number of expressions that the sprites can show, no matter how much movement they’re given, and the models can get across emotions specific to a certain situation much better, so I wish they would have utilized them more just for talking.

Voice acting is amazing, as usual. Cristina Vee did an INCREDIBLE job as Velvet, just wow, and I was also really impressed with Ray Chase as Artorius ughhh, so good. <3

I love Velvet’s outfit; no shame, sorry. also Eizen without his jacket is mmmmMMMMM

Berseria has really good writing, storywise. The plot is well-conceived and I love the themes behind it, the focus on the importance of family, and where it eventually leads to in the end. Lot of emotion with Velvet’s story with Phi, Laphicet, Artorius, (and Celica/Seres), and it really hits hard ugh. </3 So I really respect the game for the main underlying plot, the message it was trying to get across, how hopeful it is despite how frankly depressing the entirety of the game is, and for the parts that it did well, because those parts are incredible.

but

I’m sorry but there is a big but

My biggest problem with Berseria stems from the fact that aside from Velvet, Phi, and Eleanor, everyone else is... rather flat. Sort of related to that (but not entirely) is the fact that despite me liking almost everyone in the party to varying degrees, they honestly didn’t feel that close? I was told this game had a huge found family aspect to it, which is what I always expect and want from Tales, and I was especially anticipating it in this game with Velvet’s initial setup, and how excellently (and emotionally) that prologue was handled. But although by the end of the game, they do feel closer to each other in some ways, it takes an insane amount of time to get there, and even then, it’s not that strong except in certain skits. For a lot of the game it feels like half of the characters in this party have absolutely no reason to be traveling with this group, and although that can happen in Tales, usually by the middle of the game, and especially at the end, you know they definitely belong with the group, in your heart. But I just wasn’t feeling that here, and it doesn’t help that Rokurou is constantly rubbing in my face that he’s only here to repay his “debt”, and Magilou constantly reminding us that she absolutely couldn’t care less about anything we’re doing, making the feeling even worse. Eizen, too, has this issue, even though eventually he has a unbearably tragic motivating reason to follow them, but again, it comes so late. ...Ironically, I felt more of a found family vibe in the side characters and the party than I did within the party itself (Kamoana, (with Eleanor and Medissa), Dyle, Kurogane (with Rokurou), Percieval (with Phi kinda), and although I wholeheartedly enjoyed every moment of that... I also wanted it in the party more. And like I said, it is there SOME, and the moments that do happen are so sweet... but I just wanted and expected so much more from their dynamic. And the relationships within the party that exist as much as they do are split up into specific pairs and trios, which are Rokurou&Eizen, Rokurou&Phi&Eizen, Eleanor&Phi, Eleanor&Velvet, and of course, Velvet&Phi, and the latter vastly overwhelms the others by an enormous margin. Give me different match-ups; give me Velvet and Eizen having quiet talks as the group parents and two broken people who know what it’s like to lose, know what it’s like to care about family, and can relate to one another (the dialogue where she talks to him before the final battle and worries about his condition with the malevolence was just everything I ever wanted), give me Eizen and Eleanor, because she is so kind and changes so much throughout the game and so would be (and is) sympathetic towards him, like she is towards Rokurou, give me more blatant Eizen and Phi brotherly stuff okay just everyone with Eizen, give me more Velvet and Rokurou because I honestly adored their interactions in the very begnning, give me Phi trying to talk to Magilou and forcing her to break out of her comedic farce personality to try to find out why she is the way she is, just... give me more, game. ugh.

Getting back to how I said everyone who isn’t Velvet/Phi/Eleanor is pretty flat. Berseria has this weird thing about... no flashbacks being allowed, ever, unless they’re related to Velvet’s story and the immediate characters related to her. Honestly, if I had to summarize it, that’s what I’d say: this game is too Velvet-centric. Which, I mean, she’s a great character! And her story is amazing! ...But I play Tales for the entire party, and so the entire party should get focus as well, and the connections between them and the protagonist(s) should be balanced evenly. That’s not the case here. Soooooo many characters could use more depth in this game (sometimes even depth at all...), but the game chooses to adopt a “tell not show” method of giving it to them, and often far, far too late in the game, with absolutely no build-up to it, which... fails. Really hard; worse in some places than others. Older Tales games have a slew of side quests that do nothing but give further development to party members and side characters, but in Berseria, there’s only one side quest for each party member plus an important side character, and none of them have flashbacks at all if they involve a backstory. Party-wise, Rokurou and Magilou suffer the worst from this. I love Rokurou as a person, but honestly? I couldn’t tell you why I love him. He’s cool, and that’s about it. His story with his clan is so confusing because it’s barely expanded on at all, and the emotion that should be there with him and Shigure just... isn’t, because Rokurou himself isn’t emotional about it at all, so how can we feel anything? We just get a bunch of cryptic statements from him that we’re supposed to accept, and move on, just as the party moves on from it, confusedly. Shigure’s death made me feel a little because the scene itself was executed ha ha well, but it could have made me feel so much more. And then after that we get some info about their mom, which is all told to us in dialogue and nothing shown at all, and then it’s over. Magilou suffers from this even WORSE... like, I’m sorry, but I really just don’t care for Magilou. At all. I tried! I really did! And by the end of the game, I had gone from straight-up disliking her to just being neutral about her, at least! ....But the game literally just gave me zero reason to care about her, ever. She is nothing but the comic relief character for most of the game, her only role being to rudely butt in on the end of important conversations to add her own two cents (which usually amount to “haha look how much I don’t give a crap about any of this”) and messing with Phi. When they finally do start trying to show a darker side to her, when Melchior starts torturing her and taunting her, and then later when she asks Velvet what it feels like to hate, I... just can’t bring myself to care/try to figure out wth is going on? Because there’s been no build-up to it. She stays stagnant throughout the entirety of the game, unlike typical Tales characters of her type that are broken from their pasts and use cheerfulness to cover it up, that gradually show signs of becoming closer to the party throughout the game until there’s usually a Big Moment(tm) where they have to decide what they’re going to choose (see: Alvin, Zelos, Dezel, Jade minus the big moment, Raven, etc etc). The first scene I mentioned should be Magilou’s Big Moment(tm), but it doesn’t work because we’re suddenly getting this backstory hastily shoved in our faces all of a sudden, with absolutely no hints of it beforehand and thus no emotion at all from the scene. Instead it’s just confusing, not unlike Rokurou’s scenes I mentioned. Her backstory is cryptically shoved into side quest npc dialogue that you’ll absolutely miss if you’re not looking for it instead of in the main game, where it should be, and even what you get is barely anything, with no flashbacks to give you that emotion you really need for her. Magilou treats it casually, so, I treated it casually too. It’s not important to her, or the game, so I couldn’t care either. When she verbally takes down Melchior in Merchio later, I cheered, but that was literally the strongest emotions I ever felt towards her, and it didn’t have nearly the amount of oomph it should have because of everything I stated. Just. Why did they not handle her better; it makes me so sad, because she could have been AMAZING. I’ve never felt like a character belongs less in a Tales party than Magilou, tbh; she stood out so much and I just kept asking “why are you still here, again?”, and the party basically asks the same thing lol. Bienfu felt like he belonged more than she did... >.> Eizen in particular wounds me deeply because we’re already predisposed to care about him so much because of Zestiria (and lbr, Bamco knows everyone who is playing this has played Zestiria, so there’s no excuse), and so I so desperately wanted flashbacks of him and Edna. I can’t even begin to describe how much I wanted them *sobs* and the skits where he talks about her were perfect and beautiful and made my heart soar and yet break into a thousand pieces, but... I wanted them to go further with it. I wanted to see him get more emotional, and I understand that the way he is is just his personality, but like... this character is so crucial to one of the mains in Zestiria, and we love Edna and we know how important Eizen was to her, so I just wanted the game to treat him with so much more love because Zestiria frankly handled that subplot so terribly. *sighs* That being said, though, his relationship with Zaveid in Berseria is by far one of THE best done parts of the game (more on Zaveid later)... and the Aifread subplot literally destroyed me. Just. Destroyed. Yet another example of flashbacks I wanted, with the two of them (BAMCO I WOULD LITERALLY PAY YOU SO MUCH TO SEE AIFREAD AND BBY!EIZEN, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WOULD PAY *sobs*), but even still, it was done pretty well compared to other things, and I’m still crying over it. ;________; </3 <3 ...In the end, though, although I do really like Eizen (his nerd rambling speeches were just b l e s s, and the black humor with his curse omg poor baby; and of course HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH THE PIRATES WHICH IS THE BEST FAMILY IN THE GAME TBQH *tears*), I didn’t adore him as much as I assumed I would, and that sucks. :/ Eleanor is an amazing character, 10/10, and it’s kind of baffling how much focus she gets over the three mentioned above. Her side quest about her mother once again gets the obnoxious “tell not show” treatment, but it’s alleviated by the fact that she’s had so much development in the main story so it’s not as huge of a letdown (did I mention that regulating backstories to side quests, and not even well-executed ones, is a huge problem? :))) ). She’s so sweet and pure and I honestly just adore here ugh <3 unexpected favorite. Other characters in the game who suffer from the problem of not having flashbacks dedicated to them but then the game trying to make us care about them too late are again Shigure, Melchior only in the sense of in relation to his past with Magilou, and most importantly Teresa and Oscar. I love Oscar for shallow reasons, but neither of them are well-fleshed out, only getting a handful of backstory lines thrown in by Teresa right before her death and after Oscar’s, again, just telling it to us. Their relationship honestly creeped me out throughout the game, Teresa treating Oscar reallllllllly obsessively, but if we had gotten their past way ahead of time, we could understand them better even if she is still a bitch. Sadly, that’s not how it’s handled, and it’s a shame. Like I said, I sobbed got upset at Oscar’s death, but there was no justification for getting upset at all, really. Other than them, Artorius I would have liked to have gotten more scenes. His flashbacks near the end of the game were done beautifully (as was that entire segment period), but I wished that it didn’t take me that long to really feel for him, with how three-dimensional he was set up in the prologue. for those who have read the manga Akatsuki no Yona, I was expecting a Soo-won/Hak/Yona(/Il) vibe from the Artorius/Velvet/Laphicet trio because of how similar the setups were, kinda, and that wasn’t quite what I got, unfortunately More scenes on the legate side of things earlier in the game would have done him and the others a world of good, essentially. Also wished that he and Velvet had a little more to say to each other in the end, but that’s a nitpick really.

Tying in talk of Velvet’s character arc with something else: Berseria’s pacing. This game is oddly paced, if I’m being honest. I can pick out about probably ten specific big events that I remember, and everything else is rather foggy, for having just recently played it. The prologue and Velvet breaking out of prison starts the game off extremely strong, and then it feels like it hits a lull until the first confrontation with Artorius... and then there is a lonnnnnng lull until Innominat’s first appearance... and then suddenly everything is happening with absolutely no breaks until the end. Velvet’s character development matches this, as well; she stays pretty much the same for most of the game, with occasional flashes of ptsd (which are done perfectly, by the way) until Innominat’s reveal, and then her subsequent massive mental breakdown and rising up again to become someone who is still going to get revenge, but now she knows why she is, and why she needs to, and she’s happier for it. She’s definitely my favorite character in the game, and one of the best Tales protagonists out there imo, but I wish her development was more evenly distributed throughout the game, instead of nothing and then this HUGE moment where she honestly completely and utterly breaks down and shows how she truly feels and has felt about what happened to her, and then it sort of goes back to how it was before, albeit not entirely. That is the high point of the game, the best part of the game, for so many reasons, which is why I keep mentioning it; it’s done so well, and I don’t feel like anything after it even comes close to matching it, and I wish some parts did. Still love her, but her arc could have been better paced imo, and the flow of events in general (all the deaths that happen one after the other in the last fourth of the game (minus Artorius and Innominat) feel even more rushed because of the problems I stated earlier, and also this).

Phi’s a perfect pure angel cinnamon roll, his arc is amazing, and his relationship with Velvet is so touching; nothing else needs to be said. :’) <3 Although I will say I loved that he stood up to her about his identity; major props for them doing that, because it really needed to be said.

One last thing to end this on a positive note because I’ve spewed so much negativity ugh, and that is: I absolutely cannot even begin to describe how happy I am at all of the references to Tales of Zestiria in this game. Zestiria is one of my favorite Tales; it has major writing flaws, but I love almost all of the characters dearly, and even though some of them too could use some more depth, the party’s dynamic in that game is just done so well and makes me feel so good, gives me that warm Tales vibe that I just love so much (I won’t talk specifically about why I love Zestiria in this post lol, but basically what it comes down to is that it has heart, even though it has so many problems, and I respect it and love it for that, even though I acknowledge that it’s not that great). So when I heard that Berseria was a prequel to Zestiria, I was ecstatic. And it delivered to me, as a Zesty fan. Berseria may be a really long time before Zestiria, but all of the references, of which there are SO MANY, in npc dialogues and terminology and specific in-game events, are treated with so much care, obviously added in so purposefully and logically thought about how things that are considered normal in Zestiria’s time would be not quite developed all the way or have entirely different names in Berseria, and I just... I love that so much??? I loved standing in a town and getting a strange sense of deja vu, I was screaming when malevolence was mentioned and the truth about “daemonblight” was revealed, I was screaming about Edna and Eizen of course, I was screaming at “Artorius’ Throne” of course, I was screaming at Zaveid of course, I was screaming when the Shepherd was mentioned, when the Lord of Calamity was mentioned, and how they’re flip-flopped in roles from Zestiria (!!!!!), when the imperfect ARMATUS was introduced, oh my god, and when Phi became Maotelus at the end I was in tears, and got chills. Just... Zestiria didn’t do so well with its lore, and even though at the end of the day, Berseria’s existence can’t magically make Zestiria’s story writing and character writing better, it did add something to it, something special, something beautiful, something poignant, and for that, I am so happy. Zaveid in particular I have no words for; he was the single character I never have cared about in Zestiria, with how rude he is about a certain traumatic incident that happens right before he forcefully shoves himself into the party, and overall his type is just one I don’t care for. Then Berseria happened, and I adore him in Berseria. It honestly weirds me out and haunts me to realize and admit, but yes, he’s one of my favorite characters in this game, and by far one of the best written ones, and to see how different he is in this game compared to the other is just surreal, and chilling, and sad, and to play Zestiria from here on out knowing how and why he eventually becomes the way he does, after seeing how his beliefs used to be and seeing what he lost, and what his relationship with Eizen was like? I’m so upset, and fucked up, good GOD. ;______; All in all, I love Berseria purely because it made me love Zestiria even more, and whenever I play Zestiria from here on out I’ll never look at it the same way again, especially when Sorey sleeps with Maotelus in the end. </3 <3 and Zestiria the X and whatever the hell it was trying to do can go fuck itself lol >_______> Instead, can we just have something where Sorey learns all about the first Lord of Calamity and her gang from Zaveid? *cries* and about how Eizen was with them? BETTER YET, CAN WE HAVE MAOTELUS!PHI JUST TELLING SOREY EVERYTHING AND SOREY GETS SO EMOTIONAL OVER IT BECAUSE HE’S HIM; MY HEART

The ending. What the fuck, Bamco. My heart is in pieces, and then also you just... do that with the credits.... seriously WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SATAN IDEA IS THAT

Despite all of my criticisms, which I promise I give out of love because I love this series so much, Berseria is still a really really good Tales. I don’t think it’s as godly as everyone is hyping it up to be, and definitely not Abyss tier (I don’t think the Tales series will ever create another Abyss, honestly, as sad as I am to say it) like some are saying, but still, it’s up there. I wish the party’s development and dynamic was handled better, and I wish the game wasn’t so damn insistent on never using flashbacks, and me not being attached to the party is why I didn’t like it as much as I thought I would, but the writing is very solid, and the parts that Berseria does well are godly. I’d probably give it a 7/10; it gave me a lot of feels though I wish more and now I’m just really depressed about everything. :’)))) and I can write fic about the characters I wanted more depth for if no one else will Final character ranking in terms of favorites would probably be Zaveid > Velvet > Phi > Eleanor > Rokurou > Eizen > Magilou