#but it's funnier to imagine that they aren't really

[awesome-shoes-with-wings]

Do any of you ever wonder if Camp Half-Blood accidentally brought in a demigod of a different pantheon before?

This would be especially hilarious if it happens sometime after The Last Olympian/Heroes of Olympus, where the gods are required to claim their kids quickly.

A whole day passes, and the new demigod needs to sleep in the Hermes Cabin and Percy is furious. Meanwhile, the Greek Gods are pointing at each other and shouting, contacting the most obscure of mini gods. Chaos erupts on Olympus as every deity in Greek Mythology is called upon and interrogated. Hermes hasn't run around so much in centuries.

Hecate sits in silence, fully aware of what's happening, but enjoying the show too much to intervene.

[readbyred]

may i request how the dps boys would react to realising they have a severe crush on a, preferably shy, reader! tysm <\3

Oh, I've been waiting for dps requests! Sorry for my late replies everybody, I got demotivated again because tumblr deleted a few of my x reader posts (and a few others). But I'll try to not let that happen again if I can even help it

I think Knox would have such a silly time trying to approach you. Because we all know he’s awkward, but determined at best and, well… pushy at worst. I'm trying to go with the version I saw in a play, because thankfully they cut out the party scene which means he’s still delightfully insufferable but not awful. Anyways, he would jump on every occasion to talk to you. And then just. Stand there. He’d try to give you flowers and poems, everything really. But he loses brain cells every time he’s around you. At least you’re both equally stressed about social interactions. He gets a little braver when you give him a smile or any other sign you like him. Not less awkward, but a bit more motivated to go for it. His main problem is that he can't read you well and despite being big on feelings and all, he still has a hard time actually talking to you. Clumsily, he showers you with over the top things, that most would find cringey but you think of as endearing. And if he thinks there's a chance he’ll lose you, he’ll confess right away. I think he is brave and pretty open about feelings. Just stressed out

With Neil, it's not an issue at all that you're shy. He’s more so taken aback by his own strong feelings. Because he wasn't expecting to fall this hard. But give him like five work days to process and he’ll be all in. I feel like he would take his time to confess but he’d make it known that he cares about you. He’d be checking up on you every time he can, bringing you coffee, asking to practice lines together, go to the movies in town. Even before you two start dating you just wake up and half of his sweatshirts are in your drawer (he likes to borrow you his clothes if you’re cold) and your desk is littered with poems he shared with you. He’s a gentle lover, but he knows what he wants and when the time is right Neil has no problem confessing

It's much funnier with Cameron because this boy is in panic mode 24/7. At first he legit thought he was sick because he always felt dizzy and distracted around you. And he’s a traditionalist. Everything has to be perfect when you’re around. Like he beats himself up about every little mistake he made around you. But also makes a point to treat you RIGHT. If you’re shy he might not know how to approach you at first, because he’s not sure if you’re even interested. And how to make you like him. After much teasing (mainly from Charlie, of course) he gets fed up with his friends and decides to make a move. It might not be the most romantic when he does, but it's sweet and genuine

Another one that would take time to confess is Meeks. He’s pretty quick to accept that he’s crushing on you. He’s like, yeah obviously they are amazing, now what do I do with that? He tries to give you things. Small things. Like maybe he could borrow you a book that you’ve wanted to read for a long time of buy you a coffee/tea if you’re out in the town. He doesn't explicitly say that he liked you but it's easy to tell and he’s not one to be shy about it either. So when you guys do get together, you already know his more… romantic side

On the contrary, Charlie takes time to process his feelings. He had crushes before, but real feelings (strong ones at that) aren't the norm for him. Sometimes he catches himself losing his cool around you and it messes with him so bad. He would probably ask Knox for advice. Which is a bad move. But he figures that at least his friend is more familiar with having those sorts of feelings. Nothing much comes of it because I can't imagine Knox giving him any good advice on the subject, but after he was able to talk about liking you, he decides to just go for it. Well, in small steps. Primarily because he’s just not an intense guy, but also because he’s surprisingly mature when it comes to respecting your levels of comfort. Doesn't mean it gets boring though, it's Charlie we’re talking about. Once you get together there's not a one dull moment with him by your side

With Todd, it might be difficult at first. He’s overwhelmed by fis feelings and has a tendency to talk himself out of making any sorts of moves. Why would you like somebody like him? He tells himself he doesn't have a chance, surely. It only confirms his suspicions when you don't take initiative. It's only after he’s been moping around for a few days that Neil approaches him about it and proceeds to give him shit for not doing anything to let you know his feelings. He’s like, bro, so you care about them so much that you’d rather not have them in your life because you want them in your life so much??? Make it make sense. So with Neil's encouragement, he tries to at least talk to you and see where it goes from there. Still shocked when you end up returning his feelings. You’re in his poems now, even if it's not very obvious (he's not as straightforward as Knox, so it's not ‘i love (yn) and I want them to be mine’ kind of deal). This is the only one where I'm sure you might have to make some sort of a move. Todd’s like a spider - he’s more scared than you are and if he could, he would just silently hang out in the corner of the room you’re in. But he gets a little braver after he starts feeling more secure

Lastly, Pitts is not as bad as Todd, but still takes his time. He’s comfortable with liking you and he knows what he likes, but he’s not in any rush to make things official. So any time he has any chance to talk to you, he does and just wants to see how things go from there. He jokes around with you, asks to come study together, tries to be close. He does care, just in a more chill way than some of the other poets would. If you two have been talking for some time, he would have no problem asking you to go out with him, doesn't make you feel pressured or anything. If the others are cool with it he will do his best to have you come to their meetings at night as well. So you do not only get an awesome boyfriend out of it, but also a great friend group

[jester089]

Hello! Today I rewatched Titanic for the hundredth time, so I had an idea: https://youtu.be/EyPpMaIBgkI?feature=shared

do you know this scene in Titanic? In any case, here it is,if you haven’t seen this movie (I highly recommend it, crying every time lmao)

So, imagine that Rose is a character (Jax, Pomni, Caine/Kinger) and Jack is the reader

the reader (their s/o) begins to abstracting , the characters understandably end up next to the reader at this moment in a hope to stop the process, but then both realize that nothing helps, and before going completely crazy, the reader begins to calm down characters (just repeat lines from this scene lol) How would the characters react? I'm really interested in Jax's reaction.

P.S. If it’s not difficult, briefly describe how the characters will behave after the death of their s/o

So sorry for my English is so bad!!! I am not speaking it, hope you having a good day/night!!🫶🫶💋

Boat movie

Thank you for the request! I apologize to any Caine or Jax fans who hate how I write them. But hey you can always just not read it, and I write em how they are. Not how we all want em. From this post on I'm going to ask you all add something to your requests. When requesting either Caine or Jax specify if you want the real ones or the softer loving ones. Thanks! Caine, Kinger, Jax, & Pomni's reactions to Reader dying/abstracting in front of them/in their hands

Caine

You definitely aren't the first. And probably wont be the last. He understands that humans for whatever reason don't want to die alone so he stays with you. He stays there sitting next to you on the floor as you progressively get more and more glitched. Sadly he doesn't catch much of what you say as his mind is mainly just ready to put you in the cellar so you don't hurt anyone. Once your abstracted and in the cellar he moves on. Sure he felt slightly closer to you then with all the others digital circus's inhabitants but he'll get past it. Nothing really changes in the long run.

Kinger

Kinger found you abstracting and was about to turn tail and run to find help but you begged him not to leave. That's how you got to where you are Kinger holding you close while you gently cup his face. He listened to every word you said about how he was gonna get out of there and live his life. Have kids and die safe in his home surrounded by loved ones. He permanently searing every word into his brain. As you lean up to give him one last kiss before you fall off the deep end and abstract forcing Kinger to let go of you. He is crazy yes, but he's tough. And losing you makes him want to give up. But he'll get out of this place and live his life. If not for himself, for you.

Jax

Jax was sitting with you as you abstracted. He was just going to leave and do something else, but your pitiful glitchy voice got him to stay. He sits there staring at you as you progressively get worse not even listening to what your saying, his mind wandering to what he would rather be doing. Once you fully abstract he gets up and sprints away so he doesn't get hurt then leaves you alone to rampage about. Not his problem. Hey if someone else dies to you maybe their death will be funnier then yours.

Pomni

Pomni stayed with you. Despite every bit of code in her being telling to run and get Caine she knew she wouldn't be able to in time. So she stayed and held you gently using everything she had in her to not show how she felt. So you could have someone, have her there with you when you went. She listened to your final words and did her best to remember the feeling of you gently kissing her. Once you were gone she went straight to her room to be alone, and to write something down. In a journal Ragatha gave Pomni to try and help with stress she writes down you. You personality, your final words. And she draws you, draws you how you are (were). She isn't going to forget you. She will get out of this place. And if, no WHEN she does she's going to give you a proper burial. She doesn't have your body but she isn't just going to be the last thing she remembers of you, you or a version of you trying to kill her. (I'm feeling a little burnt out on angst asks. But I did enjoy writing this.)

xoxo, Jester

[witchofthesouls]

You know the film Who Framed Rodger Rabbit where humans and Toons live there together?

Imagine the sheer chaos to occur if any Transformers iterations landed on that type of Earth. No one knows who the fuck these giant robots are as they definitely aren't Toons. Meanwhile the bots can't help but be confused by these strange creatures living alongside the organics.

The Toons however see both factions as perfect targets for mischief. Starscream crashing into a wall via a super realistic painting, poor Optimus getting flowers full of dynamite or Bumblebee having multiple 'Kick Me I'm Fake' signs plaster on his bumper by Toon cars. Megatron feels like they landed in a looney bin as he fails to intimidate the 50th cartoon rat on the ship.

This probably lead to kidnapping a human cause no one is making progress when they're constantly getting menaced by law defying entities.

Oh man, the childhood nostalgia is so real here 🤣🤣

Look, the Toons would break the Autobots and the Decepticons. Cybertronians are not strangers to special powers, but beings that regularly defy all sense of laws in such a blase, hilarious manner without one ounce of logic yet yield so much damage?

The factions' respective medbays will be constantly full of mecha with processor crashes and circuit burnout. Soundwave, Prowl, and Red Alert will have to be put into long-term stasis for their mental and emotional health.

You want peace? Or a long-term armistice? Send in Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck as Trojan Horses.

There is no escape from their antics. Those creatures are everywhere.

Land. Sea. Air. Fucking space in a random astro-suit.

(Mechs would be driven mad trying to find who the hell is Marvin the Martian in any database. Including the Galactic Alliance.)

Even Megatron will break.

He will become hollow mech, desperate for respite, and beg for mercy. A new phobia for the fear of the sound of carrots being crunched and chewed would be implemented in their disorders. As well as Daffy's crazed laughter once they can reliably track it.

But the biggest kicker? All the humans would just chuckle or outright laugh at their declarations. Aliens? Really? Are you sure? What's the gimmick?

Many humans shake their heads, elbowing people around them because there's a new joke going around. Apparently, the Toons caught into the mecha anime explosion, so now they have sentient Gundams walking around with an epic battle of good versus evil.

(Que some Americans shouting things in Japanese. Some want to improve or keep up their language skills. Others just want to be dicks. It would be funnier if humans had so much experience picking out the robots in disguise from the Toons' general mayhem and shenanigans.)

The Toons know that those are real aliens but are too delighted by the sheer potential chaos of having fresh meat, ahem, new neighbors.

[buckys-wintersoldier]

Just a little bit where Sebby isn't home and sents you a picture of himself.

Words -> 409

Warnings -> just a fluffy bit.

Request -> Imagine this… Sebastian is out of town and you get a text from him and you see this picture and he tells you how much he misses you🩵 @sergeantbarnessdoll

A/N -> Thank you for the request, hope you like it.

The vibration of your phone pulls you out of your daydream. With a smirk, you grab your phone and look at it. Felling a tingle in your belly when you admire your background for a moment. It's you and your boyfriend Sebastian during a trip, where both of you stand on the balcony of the hotel, admiring the view there. You unlock your phone, noticing it was a message Sebastian sent you, which pulled you out of your dream.

Sebby ❤️ 

Hi, pretty girl. Wanted to tell you that filming is pretty funny, but  miss you a whole lot.

Hope you aren't bored at home alone. But I know my girl always knows what to do, so you're not too bored.

I love you. Call you later.

You smirk; he is such a sweetheart. And even when you always know what to do so you won't be bored, you still miss your boyfriend. You haven't been without one another in a while since you both worked on the same movie. But now you have a roll for another movie, and Seb is already filming his current movie.

You

Hi, pretty boy. Can't wait to see and talk to you later.

Not really bored, but with you, it's way funnier and not as cold as it is now. Not even the blankets give me the warmth you give me!

I love you too.

Sebby ❤️ 

Silly one. The blankets just don't love you as much as I do. They don't share their warmth with you.

Make yourself some tea; you know the good one.

And until we call later, I have something for you.

You look at the picture, smirking when it's one of him. Even when it's just a photo of him, you feel the warmth rushing through your body, causing a lot of tingles in your body.

You

Pretty boy.

Sebby ❤️ 

I got it from you, babe.

See you later; they need your man to film the next scene.

With a smirk, you get up and make your way to the kitchen to make yourself some tea. This man is everything for you. He is such a sweetheart, and since you're with him, you're way happier and the person you want to be. He supports you in all your dreams, and he loves you more than anything. You found the love of your life in him, and you fall in love with him more and more, like he does.

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @kandis-mom @sergeantbarnessdoll @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @blackhawkfanatic @armystay89 @suz7days @etherealdisneyvillainness @randomawesomeperson102 @rogersbarber @sebastianstanisahotmf @bucky-barnes-lover @felicitylemon @bookishtheaterlover7 @flstrawberry @nervouseden

[nofacentity]

Dialogue

Miguel O'hara x gn Reader

Please take in consideration that I'm still learning english, so I'm open to any critisism! I dont know if my wording will feel authentic🙇🏻‍♀️

Im currently working on something like a drabble on Miguel x reader and this dialogue may or may not take place in the story I'm writing, I'm imagining it as a part of the story buuuut I'm not sure.

But either way this is still a little story of its own.

About the story: It's just a silly little conversation and Miguel just being protective

***

"Day eleven of observing Miguel O'hara. The temperature is normal, and so is the humidity; there are no significant changes in the subjects' behavior."

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know. I'm bored. And you insist I stay here, I don't even know why."

"Because it's safe."

"Oh, the great dangers of spider-societies HQ."

"You aren't as funny as you think you are."

" I know. I'm way funnier. But, really, safe from what?"

"I just don't want you wandering off somewhere."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know if it's safe."

"Oh my god! It is safe! The whole place is safe!"

"I'm not talking about the HQ."

"Ugh."

"I don't want you to wander in other dimensions."

"Am I this fucking unreliable?" You were beyond frustrated

"What? What does this have to do with anything?"

"Well, if I need to be under a watch 24/7, so other dimensions will be safe." It really hurt your pride.

"I'm not talking about-... it's about your safety, not dimensions. I know you wouldn't do anything like that."

"And what about my safety?"

"What about it?"

"Well, I don't understand what threat to my safety there is."

"None. Because you're here, with me."

"And if I'm not here? And without you?"

"Then I wouldn't be so sure. So you're here."

"What.. What is out there?" You started to feel uneasy. Is there someone or something that is after you?

"I don't know."

"Ugh! Just please say it in a way that I will understand. What are you protecting me from?"

"Everything."

"Everything what?!"

"Everything that could potentially harm you."

"That's just.. That doesn't make any sense. Am I, like, important for something?"

"Not for something."

"Could you talk in complete sentences?"

"I am."

"No, you're not. I have no idea what you are talking about."

He finally turned towards you.

"What do I need to explain to you?"

"Why am I here? Why is my safety so necessary?"

"It is necessary. For the reason that it's necessary."

"Why? Why am I the only one here? Isn't everyone's safety important? So why me?"

"Because you're important"

"For what?!"

"For me"

He said it with a straight face, no emotions. And you were completely taken aback

"...And what do you need me for?"

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Now he was the one who's frustrated.

"I don't need you for anything... it's not about it."

You were just staring at him, so he understood the need to elaborate.

"Listen, it's just... you know what happened to the...the world... to what was important to me... So could you just bear with me? " You could tell it was hard for him to talk about it, but you still weren't understanding half of what he was saying.

"What is the connection between me and that world exactly? I'm not from there."

"I know you're not from there..." he paused.

" I just want to ensure the safety of what is important to me." He said finally.

You were still silent, waiting for him to continue. He was keeping in mind what you said earlier, trying to find right words to explain it to you.

"It's not that you're important for something.. Specifically. As I said, it's about what's important to me." He took another pause and said, "personally."

You were trying to process his words, unsuccessfully.

"I don't see how... I just don't really... am I like a daughter to you? Like a... child-figure?"

"What?"

"I'm just trying to make a connection!"

"How are you a child?"

"I don't know! Maybe because of the age difference!"

"What age—...what?"

"Well, you know how it is, like maybe you see me as a child because I'm just old enough to be your child!"

"You're twenty-five."

"Well, yeah! And you're..." you didn't know his age. Well, you had assumptions, but you didn't know the exact numbers.

"What? Wait.. You don't know... How old do you think I am?" He was just so perplexed.

"Well, uh.. fifti-... forties?"

He didn't even know how to react. He had no idea what was going through your head. He just stared at you, dumbfounded.

"Forties?" he repeated after you.

"Well... uh…"

"Am I-.. How did you even... Why?"

"What why? Did I guess or?.." You had a look of embarrassment on your face, but you really had no better guesses.

"Or."

"Sixties?! Oh my god! You look so good for your age!"

"What?! I'm thirty!"

"What?! You're thirty?!" You echoed him with the same astonishment.

He just stared at you with an open mouth.

"I mean.. You look good either way. It just... you're always so serious. And you seem so... seasoned?"

"Seasoned."

"Well, I mean! It's like you always know what to do and everything... and so sure about everything... like you've seen a lot."

"I've seen a lot."

"Well, I mean..." you bit your tongue" I'm sorry."

You were waiting for him to say something, but he was just looking at you, frowning.

"So..I'm not a child-figure to you?"

"Could you stop talking about it? No way you would be."

"Then what?"

"Well.. I meant to take it slow... maybe start with friends and then..." He looked away.

You felt like your heart went to your throat. It was too much shock to handle in one evening. You lost your ability to process anything that was going on. Take what slow? Friends? And what then?

"As I said, you're important to me. Personaly."

"Right. Personaly."

"Right."

You expected him to turn away, get back to his work, but he didnt. He was still standing looking at you. And you just felt so small under his gaze.

"Im... Im... Im just... I have no idea..."

"Im sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I understand"

"No, I'm sorry.. I said... you were forthy"

"You said I was sixty." He chuckled

"Well, I'm sorry! I didn't!...uh."

"You didn't know. I figured. Do you have any other questions?"

"No, I won't be able to handle any more answers."

He was still looking at you with a slight amusement.

"You can go back to your work now.. I know you have lots of stuff to do and everything."

"No, I finished."

"What?"

"I said I finished."

"Who are you? Miguel would never say that."

"Well, I just said that."

"So, what are you going to do now? Are you going to charge?"

"Cielos...You keep talking nonsense all evening."

"Well, I didn't ever see you not working! And even less eating or sleeping. Maybe you just go to charge, like a robot."

"So now I'm a robot. What else do you think I am?" He was still amused; you could almost say he was joking. In his own way.

"There isn't anything else really... Well, I think you're, like, super cool and everything.. This is what I think you are!" You were trying to fawn your way out of the shame you just brought upon yourself..

"Right."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Take you out for dinner. If it's okay with you?"

[angelltheninth]

Vash Being Yours For a Few Weeks

Pairing: Vash the Stampede x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, temporary lovers, crushes, saying goodbye, angst, kissing, mentions of starting a family, implied sex

A/N: I'm going from place to place around Italy and I'm already tired so I can only imagine what it must have been like for Vash.

Vash getting involved with you for those brief few weeks while he's in town was both the best and the worst time of your life

The best because you got to know the best guy a woman could ever want

Right off the bat Vash was polite, funny, caring, protective and on hell of a lover in bed, or really any lonely spot you found

Both of you knew he wasn't staying, he made as much clear before getting involved

As open as he was about the things he's seen while traveling he was just as secretive about his personal past, his arm and scars

You didn't pry, it would only make him closed off and you wanted him for as long as possible

He was eager to see as much of your little town as possible, meet all the people, try your favorites

He even momorized the streets and houses pretty well although deep down it was a survival instinct of his that drove him to do so

Made sure he had something to remember you by

Sadly he couldn't leave you with much, he is the most wanted man in the world after all

Did make a lot of memories with you kn those few weeks, all good, some funnier then others

Running while pulling his pants up while you wipe your mouth and tease him thst he shouldn't have tried to make it last, or laying in his chest feeling tired and full still and warmth seeping from between your thighs

You aren't worried about kids, he made jt clear that first night that he was unable to have them, it would bd bad if there were all the little versions of him running around after he left

If he ever did have a family of his own there are pleanty of kids to adopt once he stops running

Saying goodbye to him was hard but you knew he would't stay forever, he does promise to remember your name

Well he better after he'd been moaning and growling it for the past weeks

Should he ever pass through here again he'll come and visit, if you're still single you can have another fun few weeks

[sailing-through-hawkins]

saw this post and it reminded me of a snippet I wrote for a crack-ish Kas!Eddie AU idea i had a while ago ft. nobody knowing Steve has demobat venom in him that tells other democreatures he's a friend:

Imagine Eddie coming back as an undead vampiric bat person thing and he's all "oh how you left me behind" and shit and he's surrounded by demodogs and demobats and they're poised ready to strike at his command and -

"Eddie?" Dustin whispers like his heart's been broken. Steve's grip on the nail-bat (he still refuses to give it a name because it's not a person, Robin) falters but he steels himself - the kid is gonna be vulnerable, now more than ever and he's gotta keep him safe.

"Oh Henderson." The thing wearing Eddie's face grins the same way Eddie grinned, with a promise of chaos at his fingertips. "Not anymore."

So Eddie sets the democreatures to attack and Steve shoves Dustin behind him while he tries to fight them off but they overpower him until he's on the floor except -

The scratches and bites aren't happening. He's just - drowning in slobber? And very weird bits of flesh just, like weirdly pushing at him oh god, this is so weird. Steve squints one eye open and sees all the gross creatures nuzzling at his arms and chest like they're just innocent mutant hellbeasts who didn't mean to break the vase.

"Wh - I said attack, dipshits!" Kas yells out and that seems to just...make them nuzzle harder? Steve doesn't know, okay, he's been through a lot and he's just tired. So tired that he doesn't even register how one of the demodogs bumps his hand up onto its closed head (a phrase Steve doesn't and will never fucking like) or the fact that he just...pets it like it seems to ask. The other beasts apparently all really like that and run over each other trying to get under his hands.

"S-Steve?"

"What's up Henderson?" Steve tries not to laugh as one of the littler creatures topples upside down after it tried climbing his leg. He sets it right side up and gives it a big long pet along its back, holding back his shiver at the slimy skin. "Y'know when they're not trying to eat you, these things aren't half-bad."

"You always manage to fuck things up, huh Harrington?" Suddenly Kas is right in front of him, pushing him back onto the ground harshly with a hand on his throat. Steve idly wonders if the guy has a thing for necks. Maybe Steve just has a very targetable one? "You ruin everything, don't you?"

He then wonders if it's the high from not being ripped apart coupled with the excess adrenaline in his veins. There should definitely be a stinging in his chest from the words but he's just...god, he's just so tired right now. The other creatures are making weird, pitiful noises around the two of them.

"There there," Steve chokes out, raising a head to pet at Kas' very angry head. The vicious eyes go blank. "You just needed some attention, huh?"

Steve thinks he hears Dustin spluttering somewhere but his vision is already blacking out. Shit, he's supposed to take care of Dustin. Nope, no time to black out now. The hands, kinda claws really, around his neck loosen and Steve blinks the big splots of darkness out of his head just to open his eyes to Kas or Eddie or whatever staring at him with like...it's kind of what Steve thinks he looks like when Dustin tries explaining his latest strategy for a campaign. Incomprehension? But funnier because Eddie doesn't look like he's trying to understand, he looks like his head is just totally empty, no thoughts. Scratch that, this is hilarious.

"Doing alright, Munson?" Steve coughs out, his voice wrangled from the...wrangling. He continues to pet the hulking figure above him, moving his hand behind Eddie's ear. "Am I getting the right spot?"

The blankness in Eddie's face turns into a bright purplish blush (that means he's still got blood in him, right? or is it some kind of Vecna juice? Ew gross, no, don't think about that) and he scutters back away from Steve, who's once again surrounded by the various monsters as they yip or whatever the fuck sound monsters make. He finally manages to sit back up, no thanks to Henderson, the little shit just watching the whole thing in a corner with a fucking notepad are you kidding me -

"D-don't come any closer!" Eddie holds a hand out as Steve gets himself on two feet, his back against the wall like Steve's the one who was strangling him, oh fuck you Munson. "I have - I'll bring a parade of pain on you, Harrington, I swear it!"

Steve snorts as he pets one of the demodogs, hoping to god it doesn't eat his hand. "Yeah, okay, Kas, sure. You wanna do that now or after you give these guys a bath?"

And Eddie is basically half-angry because NO HE IS KAS HE IS A GENERAL HE WILL BRING HELL UPON YOU ALL, half-smitten because omg hiiii stevie wow do you feel a connection right now because i definitely do i think this is like fate or something

[mrcowboytoyou]

Star Trek: The Fotonovel

So TOS fotonovels are a thing that exists. If you've never heard of them- they're comics composed of stills of the show episodes. A couple of the first six movies were also made into fotonovels BUT they're both a little different than the ones based on TOS episodes and I will get to them in due time.

Right off the bat there are a couple of things that need to be said. For one, why do these exist? Well I imagine they made for a good way to consume your fave episode without having to wait for it to come on TV again. With that in mind, these fotonovels work perfectly. They're very true to the episodes with some exceptions. These differences come from the fact that these aren't comics drawn based on an episode, they just take stills directly from the show and the show was not intended to be read/viewed in this way.

Some things cannot avoid being abridged or compressed in favor of this new format but for the most part this is never really distracting and nor does it take away from the reading experience. After all, it's supposed to be a very detailed reminder of the episode you already know, so you can just relive it with the pictures.

Additionally, sometimes the fotonovels have extra lines and these are mostly found in the way of thought bubbles the characters have. Overall they're very charming but don't have a lot of utility now a days. I own some because I have problems.... They make up almost a fourth of my ST TOS book collection.

If you are interested in them my general thoughts are that the ones made from the episodes are really well done for what they are. They're also basically just some of the most popular episodes from the show using only episodes from the first two seasons. They're delivered in their own order adhering to neither the release of the show nor its intended release.

TITLES (ones i own)

The City on the Edge of Forever

Where No Man Has Gone Before

The Trouble With Tribbles

A Taste of Armageddon

Metamorphosis

All Our Yesterdays

The Galileo Seven

A piece of the Action

The Devil in the Dark

Day of the Dove

The Deadly Years

Amok Time

Star Trek: The Motion Picture Photostory

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Photostory

Now, you'll notice I said that the ones made for the episodes are good, and so far I have been sure to separate the ones done for the movies. This is because there's a bit of a quality drop.

For starters, they kept them the same length as the fotonovels of the episodes. Right away that presents a pretty big quandary because the movies are over twice as long. So if you're looking for something that adds to the experience of seeing the movies, these last two fotonovels will not do that- rather they will take away. A lot of scenes just don't make it into them and neither of them are adding from the novelizations either.

And then we have their page quality. All but one of these have shiny, coloured pages. Wrath of Khan is unfortunately in black and white and not even composed like a comic but is rather movie stills with accompanying dialogue. That's sort of like a massive let down given how big of a deal that movie is.

I intend to really get into the nitty gritty with each of these- especially the movie adaptions.

And, if you're worried about the loss of homoerotic subtext- you're all good... plus its just a tad funnier this way.

[toskarin]

I got a few questions about what was going on with SUGARBABYLOVE, so I started typing it out and then stopped and realised it'd be much funnier to do an extremely granular point-by-point explanation of nearly every single reference and influence in it

how serious am I being? either entirely shitposting or being completely transparent. intentionally left blank as an exercise in reader imagination. nightmare post below the break

all lovers make the same mistakes

BLUE SIDE

Sugar Baby Love, Les Blue Belles - the namesake of the piece, and also where I colourpicked the original background from

Komeiji Satori, Touhou Project - the Łucja on the left's personality is inspired by Satori

Fuura Kafuka, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei - not actually referenced directly in Łucja's design, but a later reference makes this important to point out now

Litchi☆Hikari Club - I didn't realise it until after I finished, but I was 100% unconsciously focusing this image on hands because of L☆HC

Las dos Fridas - somewhat inherited imagery from the Komeijis, but I did have it in mind

Subarashiki Hibi ~Furenzoku Sonzai~ - the background, faintly visible at the top of the image, is based on a certain cool hideout. also note the Łucjas' eyes, for no particular reason

Thurible - the cross at the centre of the image rests on top of a thurible. because the top and bottom of the middle section are obscured, it rests mostly out of frame

Embryonic Rabbit and La Vierge au Lapin - the smoke enveloping the central cross is taking the shape of an embryonic rabbit, not quite fully developed, not quite corporeal

Fuura Kafuka, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei - the X pins on Łucja's hat are actually hairpins that she moves up when wearing the hat. in this image, the second Łucja has swapped hers for straight pins

Komeiji Koishi, Touhou Project - the left Łucja's exhausted expression has been switched out for an empty smile. cute!

Altarpiece - the layout of the image is inspired by an altarpiece, albeit with certain sections obscured. accordingly, the piece centres on an (embryonic) rabbit wrapped around a cross

ORANGE SIDE

Berserk - it's kind of hard to include eclipse imagery without pulling from Berserk if you're poisoned. it goes without saying that I am poisoned.

Mushi, The Stalin - this album art was always really striking to me, so it was only natural to homage it. I'm actually a pretty big fan of The Stalin, so references to them show up in a (kind of embarrassing) amount of my creative output

Trash, The Stalin - the mass of gory hands is kind of self-explanatory here

De fornas likgaldrar, Bekëth Nexëhmü - this one requires extra explanation because I fucked up and got a story wrong. during the recording of an album, one member of this duo tried to strangle the other and they broke up the band for a while. the problem is that I misremembered, because it wasn't De fornas likgaldrar that got delayed, it was De dunkla herrarna. so this is an entirely aesthetic pull now.

Eastern Cross and Brazen Serpent - this one's kind of hard to explain if you don't know what Bartholomew's crosier looks like, but it's being gestured at with Ophian imagery as things get more chaotic towards the centre of the image

Gleb Sysoev - while the straps aren't visible in this image after colouring, the outfit both Łucjas are wearing is somewhere between a gakuran and the outfit Gleb often wears while performing with Ultar

Squigly - the snake wrapping around the right Łucja emerged after I got frustrated with how out-of-place her crab claw looked and opted not to include it. I still wanted one really confusing thing in the image, and I ended up landing on using Squigly's Parasite

That One Fucking Scene From Gokseong/The Wailing - another case of me misremembering something, except this time it was the context of the scene literally warping my memory of it. you know the one scene in the cave? I thought it included a much closer shot of the stranger's eyes. I might have mixed it up in my head with that one scene from Insidious, but oh well lol

Angel's curse whispered in the edge of despair, Envy - it got drawn over to the point where it's not entirely obvious, but the background behind Łucja was originally based on this album art

Melty Blood: Actress Again: Current Code Character Select - honestly kind of self-explanatory I hope

why'd you read all that

[swimmingismywholelife]

Losing Me

Summary: You love Christian with all your heart, but Christian doesn't love you the same.

Warnings: Heartbreak, panic attacks, feeling taken for granted, self deprecation, depression, anxiety

WC: 1K

A/N: Honestly, I don't have much to say. Just some heartbroken feelings really.

~~~

Dear Christian,

There aren't enough words in the world to describe how I'm feeling right now. Angry? Sad? Disappointed? Disheartened? I really couldn't tell you.

I guess I'll just start out with being honest. I feel like I should be over you, but I'm not. And I really fucking wish I was. Every day, I think about you. I think about the way you held my hand in the car. I think about the way you kissed me under the stars. I think about the way my heart still belongs to you.

But your heart doesn't belong to me now does it? I don't know how long it's felt that way for you, but I would imagine for a while since your decision to end us was so easy for you to decide. You left me behind and you never looked back.

I can't decide what's more painful: the way you stabbed me in the back or the way you whispered into my ear, telling me lies that I believed as you twisted the knife deeper into me. I couldn't see all the signs in front of me. Or maybe I did. But I chose to ignore them all because I loved you so. You were my whole world, my universe, my everything. There wasn't a thing I wouldn't do for you.

But no matter how much I tried, how much effort I put in, it was never enough for you. You don't know how many nights I've spent crying into my pillow wondering where I went wrong, what I could've done differently. Why wasn't I enough to make you stay? Why couldn't I keep your attention? Was I not worth the effort anymore?

Maybe so. But you didn't have a problem switching when it came to her. You broke my heart and picked up where we left off with another girl. Was she prettier than me? Funnier than me? Better than me? I don't understand. And I probably won't ever understand.

I've spent months trying to move on from you. From cutting you off, to locking away your old belongings so they don't tempt me. Your clothes don't smell like you anymore. The ink from your old notes have begun to fade. The tokens of affection you gave me sit in a box collecting dust, the memories disappearing as time moves on without you.

I can't move on. Maybe I'm not letting myself because I keep hoping you'll come back to me. Maybe I'm just naïve believing that you and I were meant to be. I want so desperately to believe I was made for you and you were made for me. Our souls were so intertwined that I just can't fathom we were made only to last for a season. It can't be.

How could you have made so many promises to me? How could you have said so many things and not meant a single word of it? How could you say you've never felt this way about anyone before? How could you look me in the eyes and tell me you loved me when you were planning on breaking my heart the whole time? How could you?

The reality of it isn't that I wasn't enough for you. It's that you were never willing to be enough for me. I loved you more than everything, but you didn't love me back. Not in the way that I did. I put everything on the line for you. I opened up, became the most vulnerable I've ever been because I trusted you, because I believed in you. You asked for my heart and I didn't hesitate to give it to you.

You were only a phone call away, but you never picked up. Not unless it benefited you for whatever reason. You lived in my head but you only ever noticed me when I was underneath you in your bed. I gave you my heart and you returned it to me in pieces.

Did you ever really love me then? Or did you love the attention I gave you? Were you genuinely appreciative of the love I had to give you? Or was it just convenient to you?

You've said so many things. But you never meant a single word. And even if you did, how can I put my faith in you anymore? Every promise you made was a lie. You said you tried your hardest, but you didn't. The moment things got hard, the moment it was your turn to take responsibility for what you've done, you left. You walked away and you left. You ran away leaving the rest of us to face the consequences of your actions.

I can't wait for the day when you regret letting me go. I can't wait for you to understand how horribly you've treated me and how I deserved better. And the moment you realize it, I'll be long gone.

I won't lie and pretend like it doesn't hurt. It's not as painful as it once was, but it still hurts. I still think about you constantly. And my biggest regret is that we were almost right. It was almost everything that it was meant to be.

But almost was is not the same as is. I love you with all of my heart Christian, but I cannot continue to love the person you are now. I loved who I knew. I loved the man who loved me. But whatever version this is of you, I don't care to love. This version is someone I no longer recognize. And quite frankly, I don't want to know this person anyway.

I know that the real you is there somewhere. I believe in the person I loved. I believe in the real you Christian. And I know you're capable of so much and more. And you deserve the world.

But I have to think about me too. And I can't continue to support this version of you at the expense of me.

I love you Christian Pulisic. I just regret that you never loved me.

Sincerely,

Y/N Y/L/N

Taglist: @chelseagirl98 @masonsrem @masonspulisic @pulisicsgirl @lizzypotter14 @thoseboysinblue @neverinadream @mortirolo @lovelynikol16 @notsoattractivearenti @bracedes @nyctophilic0vitnir

[hrodvitnon]

can we talk spoilers? (if at least tag them so those who haven't seen it yet can block the tag)

anyway

DOUG STEALS KONG'S LUNCH LOL. He's even so smug about it when Kong relents and lets him have it.

Mothra is so much fluffier this time around! Love how when she breaks up Godzilla and Kong's fight she's almost SCOLDING Goji lol. "Goji! Stop bullying the poor monkey!" "S..sorry, dear..." Jia seems to be her main priestess now tho? Whatever happened to the twin scientists from KOTM? I hope they aren't entirely forgotten and replaced. Maybe they can return as Jia's guides.

Shimo is adorable. I'm glad she got a happy ending and some neck scratches from Kong. Big huggable lizard-horse-kitty.

Suko saves the day by retrieving Kong's axe? Huh. That lil kid pulled his weight a lot more than I'd expected to. Also love his mean streak at the start, he and Kong bickered a lot at first.

And of course, Skar King's very very karmic and brutal demise. I can only imagine the state of him (and Rio de Janeiro's streets) when those ice chunks finally thaw out. Good luck with the cleanup, Monarch.

Everyone make sure you filter "gxk spoilers" because I've been using that tag for everyone not looking to be spoiled!

I think Mothra suddenly becoming an Iwi protector is because supposedly there was going to be another Original MonsterVerse Monster called Phosphora or some-such, but it wasn't well received by test audiences or something so it got reworked into Mothra. I could be misremembering, but that's what I remember hearing. Which is funny, because if memory serves correctly the KOTM end credits hinted at Mothra having already laid an egg before the Boston battle, so... retcon?

I'm really glad Shimo survived the movie, I felt so bad for her being under Skar King's pain control and how she visibly resists him throughout. Even her roars sounded pained. It was really sweet seeing the look in her eyes when the surface world sky is being cleared up, like if she's the source of the last Ice Age then it's been literally thousands upon thousands of years since she's last seen a sky like ours. Hoping we see her again in another movie!

Holy shit, Suko's introduction scene got SO MUCH FUNNIER when he goes from "i'm baby" to biting Kong's finger to being used as a BLUDGEONING WEAPON BY KONG. Suko really chugged that character development juice.

I feel vindicated for not once underestimating Skar King, because he is the most vile MonsterVerse... uh, monster villain we've gotten so far. Ghidorah was a sadistic son of a bitch and Mechagodzilla was a crazy Titan Terminator On Blue Rock Steroids, but Skar King has the heads of fellow Kongs stuck on pikes (presumably to set an example for anyone looking to challenge him), when he mocks Kong's new tooth most of the apes and especially Suko seem to laugh along out of fear, he straight up KICKS an ape into lava, and has actual sex slaves holding babies in his throne room, and you just KNOW they don't consent to what he does to them. On top of him controlling Shimo with pain and his attempts on Suko's life - and considering the number of red/orange-furred babies in the throne room, we can surmise that Suko is one of his own children - Skar King may not have the spectacle or scale Ghidorah had, but my god did it feel good seeing him go down.

[happilychee]

HC for Cana: She is a really good gambler. With her card magic, unique upbringing at the guild, and need for drinking money, she's grown pretty adept at understanding how the games are played and the math involved. She especially likes to run betting pools at the guild and lower people's guard by playing dumb and drunk before she robs them blind. If she likes you, she may take you out gambling, give advice on a winning bet, or have you give her a loan and giving back triple from her winnings.

these are golden, anon

gambling with cana

cw: slightly suggestive because. c'mon it's cana.

♡ I can't decide what's funnier: cana being a math genius and card-counting, calculating probability, assessing her opponents... or winning through dumb luck and tomfoolery. for the sake of these headcanons, let's go with the first one (though I think it would be a combination of the two.)

♡ you've just finished a job with the card mage, and the reward was quite hefty. you split it 50/50, and you manage to put most of it in a safe place before cana's nagging gets to you. you're in a bustling seaside town renowned for its casinos. it would be a waste not to try them out! a "missed opportunity." but when have you ever been able to resist indulging cana?

♡ you have no idea what you're doing. your evening outfit is cute and just shy of sexy, while cana's dress leaves little to the imagination. the blinking lights of the various machines, card tables, and roulette wheels has your head spinning. you let cana lead you around until you reach a table of old men who are definitely not looking at your face. before you can take your own seat, cana pulls you into her lap. your face burns when her hand settles on your thigh, squeezing just slightly.

♡ "don't worry about the game, 'kay? just enjoy it. these geezers won't know what hit them." you can barely breathe with the way cana's looking at you, eyes smoldering. her expression is serious and fiery, a look reserved for you, as she whispers into your ear, "can you do that for me, pretty girl?"

♡ you don't get a chance to respond because suddenly cana's laughing wildly, yelling for the dealer to throw her a hand. "we're gonna be rich, baby!" she yells. you look between her and the complicated card game, and the worry in your voice isn't completely unfounded when you say, "but, honey, you don't know how to play blackjack...?"

♡ your comment causes the other players to start laughing. cana gives your waist a slight pinch, mostly for being cheeky. they're really underestimating the two of you now, because this is certainly not a game of blackjack. not that it matters to cana. with alcohol flowing through her veins and your warm form in her lap, she feels on top of the world. the casino didn't stand a chance.

♡ "drinks on me, babe?" cana wiggles her eyebrows at you over the pile of casino chips in her arms. you laugh, your own haul shaking in your arms. you'd doubled, no- tripled what your reward for the job had been, and you were excited to not have to worry about bills for a while. that, and a small shopping spree with the fairy tail girls.

♡ "I feel a bit bad; I barely did anything!" you protested. "nonsense. I'm very lucky, because..." cana rolled her eyes, shoving the casino chips to a distressed looking employee. you ignored him as he filled one, then two, then three bags with fat wads of jewels. "...you're my good luck charm, aren't you?" cana brought her fingers under your chin, locking you in place as she leaned in. "I am?" you could feel her breath on her lips. "yeah, you are, sweet thing, cuz without you I would have lost that entire bet." you don't get to respond, because cana's pressing against your body and pressing bruising kisses to your lips. as you melt into her arms, you think that between the two of you, you're the lucky one.

[annymation]

Okay, I just read your idea for how the aftermath of a fight between Asha and Aster would look like. Do you think you could make a scenario where they reconcile? Where one apologizes to the other? I'd love to see that! The aftermath is almost like a pt. 1 to the end of the fight; I'm kinda curious on the pt. 2 (apologizing conversation, reconciliation, etc.)

Sorry for taking so long to answer, been busy lately! But after writing all that angst yesterday I should give you guys some wholesome reconciliation story after they had a discussion, so lets goooo!

Asha and Aster still had their backs turned to one another, neither one of them wanted to give in and apologize

(I'm keeping the reason to why they had a fight vague, I think it's funnier if it's left for you to imagine)

They've been silent for a while but eventually Aster breaks the silence

"... How long are we gonna stay like this?" They asked genuinely curious, since this was the first time they've had a fight so he wasn't sure how this worked

Asha couldn't help but feel amusement with how innocently he asked the question, but she was still angry so she had to hide it "As long as we need, till one of us say they're sorry"

"Oh... In that case, I'm sorry" He replied turning to look at her

"Wha- No you're not, you're just saying that so we can talk again" Asha turned to him annoyed

"But I am sorry though" Aster insisted raising his voice

"Not as sorry as I am!" Asha refuted speaking even louder, she looked at him with narrowed eyes

"Well then, I guess we're both sorry!" Aster exclaimed, pointing a finger at her

"I guess so!" Asha turned away from him with her arms crossed, Aster did the same.

The two stay with their arms crossed and their eyebrows furrowed for a moment. Before Aster seems to have a realization

"Wait, then why are we still fighting?" He asked confused

Asha's eyebrows raised in surprise...

"... Pfft hehehahahHAHAHAhaahah" She couldn't hold in her laughter, and she just turned around and hugged him, Aster smiled back and also laughed along with her "*sigh* We're really bad at this argument thing, aren't we?" Asha says while hugging them

"Heh eheh yeah, let's not do it again" Aster sighted in relief while holding her close

"Deal" Asha said, feeling comfortable in his embrace

They could hear Gabo's voice coming from the other room "STOP BEING SO DARN CUTE!"

[lakesbian]

I don't have it onhand but isn't the textual basis for the victoria piss thing "she's into a bodily fluid but not sweat." Couldn't it also be like. Blood.

i mean, the basis for the victoria piss thing is that wildbow said this and she knows what urine tastes like. the actual answer as to Why She Knows What Urine Tastes Like is just that smelling something is sort of the same as tasting it, and so it's very common for people to say that bad-tasting things taste like common bad-smelling things without technically knowing what those things really taste like. that's normal. it's normal for people to say something tastes like asphalt or piss or sewer water without having actually tasted any of those things, just because we're all familiar enough with the smell for it to be sufficiently evocative description.

However. It is much funnier to interpret it as meaning that Victoria Dallon has a canonical piss kink.

as for wildbow's "fluid" remark....that one is actually harder to explain away. there are only so many body fluids that aren't sweat, and none of them are really known for being something that you Drink Sexually in the same way that piss is. like, "drink fluids but not victoria's preferred fluids" can call to mind a tall cup of piss, but it's much harder to imagine a tall cup of blood being relevant to the circumstance. so my serious analysis is that i do not genuinely think the knows-what-urine-tastes-like bit is indicative of anything, but i also genuinely do not understand what the actual fuck wildbow was trying to say with the preferred fluids remark. it surely cannot seriously be piss, but i don't know what it would be aside from that.

[short-and-ugly]

Really normal length Skoodge analysis

Gonna just start with the simple things. Things you can get from watching one time alone. Maybe. Probably not I don't think you people think about him enough to gather any of this. No. I'm sorry I love you all. I'm just a specific level of detached from average not-Skoodge viewers and don't know what all is expected. It's that one meme "Even when compensating, experts in any field will overestimate the average person's knowledge."

It's rough. Let's get into it.

Speech is probably an easy one! Yeah? Yeah.

A lot of the things he says are very literal... there's a lot of tacting things that are currently happening. A lot of stating the obvious.

Admittedly... this is probably a byproduct of him not being a "main character." His dialogue is a lot less important than that of characters like Zim and Dib. But it's still worth talking about! I'd like to think it's genuinely just his personality to be obvious and talk about things as if people aren't already aware of them. Maybe even have him be a bit tone-deaf. That's more headcanon territory though! So let's walk on past that before I confuse myself and all of you.

DOUBLE NEGATIVES...!

... only happen once. In the background. While he's being talked over by a bunch of teammates.

("Yeah; really that's actually good and more logical cause I don't really wanna make a chain or nothing like that.")

His speech is a lot more casual and, in transcripts for unfinished episode(s)(?) almost innocent!

frothing at the mouth at this one actually i dont like it. not good. this is just exposition. he would not fucking say that (probably wrong) (this was written by the shows writers) (it still makes me angry)

This one I just wanted to add because it's silly. Look at how silly he is. He's just a fun loving guy. Why does his mind go to dancing straight away? We'll never know... the inner machinations of his mind are an enigma.

Skoodge reads as... more impulsive than anything (and maybe a little anxiety-riddled but that might also just be me projecting). He doesn't strike me as a critical thinker who really tries to like... weigh the consequences of his actions. He just does shit and when it doesn't work out he does more. I imagine that's what most irkens are like, actually, now that I think about it...

His gut instinct must be controlling him because if it isn't then I honestly can't find any good explanation as to how he's survived for so long.

Which perfectly segways me into something a little more analyzing-like:

Skoodge is a cockroach.

He got shot out of a cannon and still comes back to the Empire. He... really does seem to believe that being here will help him out somehow. As if it hasn't already been proven that nothing he will do will satisfy the society he hails from.

Desperation can make you do desperate things; and Skoodge's entire character just reeks of desperation.

From apparently being considered to eat his own skin (before being deemed too much by the network) [no screenshot available because I don't even know how I'd begin to look for it] to the more canonical screaming-like-a-baby whenever something happens to him, it kinda makes you wonder how the hell he even got to where he is in the first place.

Now, this is more speculation than actual evidence, but I think it's a fair enough bet to say that Skoodge earned his title as an invader. He has no height to propel him forward in society, so whatever he did would've had to've involved sheer tenacity and an inclination for survival.

He is almost definitely, genuinely, afraid of death. And because of that, he just... doesn't die.

I know at an objective view, he doesn't die because it's funnier that way, and helps with jokes and gags, but like... c'mon. This is a deep analysis post. I'm allowed to get a little indulgent with it.

Treading into more theorization-territory here.

Irkens are raging Xenophobes.

And Zim fits this bill perfectly! He's slotted himself into this mindset without any issue, making up... unique slurs for humans and other things he comes by. Because he tries too hard to be a perfect irken. Maybe. That's a topic for someone that's insane about Zim, not me. This is about my guy.

If Zim is the perfect representation of an irken soldier (on a purely superficial level), then Skoodge is an outlier. Not in that he's good at his job; he's supposed to be! No, rather, his differences lie in his temperance. His composure, whatever you call it. He is far too complacent and even possibly a bit meek, if you wanna go ahead and call him that.

You see that? That right there is respect for a... honestly almost certainly, by irken standards, inferior species.

Now, this could either mean one of three things.

Either A) Skoodge is not space racist (best case scenario)

or B) Skoodge lacks self-confidence; not seeing himself as superior, and thus being compliant and respectful to the obvious figure of authority in front of him.

or C) Skoodge does not have respect for his Empire (very unlikely, seeing as the only reason he's still here is because he's trying to gain a promotion from said Empire)

Shooting down option A immediately with this dialogue here (Battle Of The Planets)

Sorry folks... he is very much so still space racist.

As for option B...

I'm going to be completely honest here. I think I've been interpreting this wrong in my series. I have a whole lot of complex reasons explaining why Skoodge doesn't have much confidence, but honestly, he reads as more... chill. And down-to-earth, than he does as self-loathing.

There is possibly evidence of him having a more quiet and subdued personality, instead of just him not being a xenophobe; and it comes from the very first episode!

Crying in front of the tallest at the Assigning. Admittedly, Larb cried too; but he at least had enough push in him to say something.

Skoodge doesn't. He's even disheartened by the Tallest's initial jeering of him! Which admittedly, might not be the best example of low self-esteem, because those are the literal Leaders of his fucking Empire... but it is definitely a shift from him being the proud, confident, short-and-ugly invader that he's shown to be in Battle Of The Planets. Invading Blorch must've really (rightfully) inflated his ego.

Which he normally lacks.

He lacks ego, but that doesn't mean he lacks confidence. He knows that he's good at things in spite of his flaws, and takes pride in it! Even though that pride ends up shooting him in his own foot. Sad.

And why is it that he lacks ego? Every other irken thus far (sans maybe Sizz-lorr) has demonstrated just how... important. It is for them to have one. How almost ingrained into their nature their egos are. Why does Skoodge not go on to boast about his glory when any other irken in his situation would? Again, it's going to be another one of those things that I just can't be too sure about, but I'm going to hazard to say that it's because he's so physically flawed. Short and ugly. (Probably the reason why his uniform is stained. Why put forth the effort to make your uniform look good if it's impossible for the rest of you?)

There is. Almost no doubt in my mind, that he's had to fight tooth and nail to get to where he is, claw his way to the top. And if he's done that, he knows the struggle of being lower? He knows because no matter how high he gets, he'll still always be that "lower"? augh. what the fuck.

Skoodge has been humbled by this because he's been reminded of it at almost every point in his life. He doesn't boast to inferiors because he knows that there is nothing to boast, that he is technically one of those inferiors. Because even despite his successes, someone will always go on to point out his flaws.

Which really brings attention to Battle Of The Planets, to the Tallest pointing out his flaws. He just had his greatest success. Purple gave him one flaw, he gave another. And he gave it proudly.

... SECRET FOURTH OPTION D YEAHHHH BABY!!!!

FAWN RESPONSE.

With his inclination towards survival it would make sense to reason that he's only polite in front of potentially-threatening company because it means that he's less likely to get pummeled for being. Anything else.

Being polite is just as credible a survival technique as anything else! We just don't get to see any other irkens using it.

Skoodge is. Competent. He conquered his planet first!

He's a good invader. And that's probably because he knows when to run.

He's very vocal about it, if he knows (or thinks) that there's someone around to assist him. Silent with his impending doom (ha) at the Assigning, but very very loud when being chased down in the canyon by the hogulus in Hobo 13.

Now, I don't know about you, but irkens don't really strike me as the kind of species to back down from anything. To me, they read as more of a "do it or die" kinda group. Again, this whole trait kiiiinda almost begging to be pegged as outlier. The only thing that makes me on the fence about this one is, again, the fact that it's a cartoon and Skoodge's fear might be for the sake of gags.

That doesn't really explain this though. He has literally no reason to be scared here. In this specific scenario (Day Of Da Spookies! unfinished episode) he's disguised as a human. Every person there is none the wiser to him and his alien nature. He's just... like this...? All the time? Apparently? Maybe?

Or maybe! There's other things at play here!

Skoodge is competent...

... but.

A friend put it into better words than I could:

His brain turns to mush whenever he's around Zim.

(Honestly, the volunteer line might actually add on to his possible lack of self-respect? Hard to say if it's that, or if he's just that desperate to give respect at the sign of any spare bit of authority, even if that authority comes from an irken shorter than him.)

It makes me wonder if most of what we've seen of him is just Zim's influence on him. Scared at the Assigning? He didn't know Zim was there, so that had to have been genuine. Saluting to an inferior species? He had to have known that Zim was there, because Zim introduced himself first (and very loudly at that), but I think it was also genuine because Zim wasn't directly influencing him?

Screaming because of the hogulus and running like a child from some humans? Those are almost definitely Zim's doing. I just. Don't know How.

Screaming is a weakness, I think; at least it should be (in the eyes of irkens), and when Skoodge does it he does it because he seems convinced that Zim will help him. And yet Zim never does! Skoodge has no reason to believe this!

But still, believe he does.

They had to have been... kind of close? At one point in their lives.

Potentially. I don't know how close a person can get to Zim, but Skoodge has just barely managed to do it, by virtue of the fact that he is quite possibly the only living thing in the universe that can tolerate being around Zim for more than five seconds.

And his cockroach-itude. That definitely helps. You can't be killed by Zim's passive destructive radius if you genuinely just can't fucking die at all.

But that explains nothing of his weird eagerness to do things for Zim. It borders on obsessive. It might actually be obsessive, since he's apparently been living in Zim's vents ever since the events of Hobo 13. Without telling him.

Skoodge is fucking deranged. Skoodge doesn't even register as a blip on Zim's radar of people-to-acknowledge, but he will still always just do things for him, and be excited to, too!

I don't know what's wrong with him. The less easy and definitely one too many steps detached from canon explanation would be that he views Zim as the ideal irken and strives to be like him. The easiest explanation would be that he just really likes Zim.

Gosh. Even that still raises the question of how or why he would. Zim is fucking terrible to not just him, but everyone. He is unbiased in whose life he ruins.

And Skoodge is perfectly content with just letting Zim ruin his.

man. i hate him. i really really do.