#but it's mostly keysmashes and what i had for dinner

[roetrolls]

"Oh. Cool. Guess we're doing this now."

[sir-phillip-crane]

Headcanons of how would Scanlan, Percy, and Vax react if they went out with their crush to buy something to be mistaken as a couple?

sorry it took so long! i started school and homeworks got me swamped... im takin a little to adjust but I hope to be back to writing regularly soon!! requests can be sent in, but answers will be slow.

Scan the man

“I am simply saying, you would think, with how fuckin’ invent-y Percy is, he could figure out how to fix my lute! It’s bullshit that he’s ‘unable to’! I think that just translates to ‘I am a lazy fancy boi who doesn’t want to help my friends’!”

You laughed at his comment as you opened the door for him into a music based shop, the very specific smell of cork grease and reeds hitting you as you entered. “Usually I give him the benefit of the doubt, but I think you’re right in this case.”

You both wandered around for a few minutes, Scanlan especially fascinated by all of the musical instruments, even though he had seen them a million times.

Finally, a busy employee noticed you looking through the music books and greeted you. “Oh, hello! My deepest apologies, as you can see, we’re rather busy today!”

She was right, the store bustled around you. Despite it, Scanlan still heard and made his way to your side.

“What can I help you and your husband with?”

Scanlan blinked, at a loss for words for a moment. It wasn’t often you were mistaken for a couple, since the group tended to go to shops together, and it was more often you were mistaken for a polycule or more specific, more… odd couples. (Keyleth and Grog happened often, mostly because she would always gently explain things to him if she could).

Finally, he figured out what to say. “Ah, trust me, I wish I had the honor of callin’ this hot little piece mine, but they’re a bit too sophisticated for my taste.”

You responded by laughing and gently shoving him, then explaining that he needed his lute fixed.

She promised it would be finished by the end of the week, and either of you could drop by to grab it.

As you left, Scanlan started to laugh, reaching to take your hand. “I can’t believe that she thought we were married!”

“Please, you’d be lucky to land me, Shorthalt.”

“Well then,” he winked, “let me try my hand at it. Dinner tonight?”

Percy von Keysmash

“I swear to gods, it is becoming more and more difficult to find black powder.”

“How about that crazy guy who gave you a literal pig’s head full of it? I’m sure his shop is still open,” you laughed.

“Ugh, please, do not remind me of that interaction. That pig’s head haunted my dreams almost as much as the Briarwoods. Ah! Here we go! …Not nearly as much as I need, though…”

“If you and your partner are trying to find black powder, there’s a medicinal shop which sells it in bulk.” A lady browsing the shop commented, looking up at Percy. “Would you like the address?”

“Oh, um, yes, please. That would be lovely. Thank you.” Percy stammered, offering the lady a tiny notebook where she jotted down the address.

Percy gently took your hand and tugged you towards the door, seeming to want to leave the shop as soon as he could.

The two of you walked in silence for a long while, you unable to figure out what to say after that. Should you make a joke? Ignore it? Just face it head on?

It ended up being… awkward silence. Which Percy met with the same.

You two likely would have completely ignored it, if you hadn’t stepped into the shop and immediately been greeted by “what can I do for you lovebirds?”

Percy heaved a sigh, shaking his head before simply saying “black powder.”

You lingered awkwardly by the door until he finished up the transaction, then walking alongside him as you left.

“Well, that was… Something.” You mumbled, crossing your arms, gazing at the cobblestone as you walked.

“My apologies for how I handled that. I- I…” He trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

You didn’t prompt him again, simply allowing him to drop it and stay in awkward silence the rest of the walk.

Vax

When it came to shopping, Vax enjoyed it, but often wasn’t ‘allowed’ unless Vex was there to negotiate the price. And if that price wasn’t low enough, and the twins deemed the shopkeep an ass, they would simply steal it.

But a library, looking into whatever monster of the week you were fighting, meant Vex avoided it as she often insisted she found reading gross and posh, and nerds like you and Vax and Percy and, really, all of the group but her, Grog, and Scanlan, could get it done.

You sat at a table besides Keyleth, looking up as Vax carted back an armful of books and dumped them on the table. “We are going to be here all night, I swear to gods.”

“Do you want me to go get some food, then?” Keyleth hummed, smiling up at you and Vax.

“I don’t think the library allows food…” You started, then looked up, realizing it seemed to only be VM and a single employee, then added “can you bring us back some cookies?”

She nodded, compiling a small list of snacks before leaving to find some.

“Excuse me, you and your husband’s friend is not allowed to bring food in here.”

Vax completely overlooked the relationship comment, simply responding with “excuse me, my friends and I are the only reason all the residents of Emon were not dragon kibble. We will eat in the library if we damn well please.”

The employee shut up, realizing quickly they wouldn’t win this conversation – especially not as Vax flashed one of his daggers.

He sat besdes you, opening one of the leatherbound tombs and commenting “this is gonna take a year.”

“Did you… hear what they said?”

“Hm? Kiki shouldn’t be bringing food in here.”

“No, uh… Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

Vax will ask Percy about it while youre out of earshot, and respond by subtly giving you a little kiss on the cheek.

[goth-albino-angel]

Yugiri's smile is everything. She has so many of them and they all mean different things. When she's relaxed, when she's excited, when she's confused, when she has no clue what's going on but everyone else is happy so she's happy, when she's relieved, when she's proud... She has so many different smiles and if Tumblr didn't have the 10 image rules, I would absolutely gush about every single one of them in detail. Unfortunately, if I do that, all of those posts will probably be eaten out of the tag, so instead, here are my top 10 favorite Yugiri smiles so far, images included. (Pre-Revenge episode 9)

10. Season One, Episode 2: The First Smile/ 9. Season One, Episode 10: The Sentimental Smile

Episode 2 is the first time we ever see Yugiri smile. Before this, she seemed relatively nonplussed or generally disinterested in pretty much everything going on. Even though she was in a different time period with complete strangers and a madman demanding her to be something she has no knowledge of, she was fairly calm. Then the first time we see her smile, it's when she sees something completely familiar. Her own face. Not only that, but she directs that smile toward the character that is going to become basically her little sister. The first one means so much and it's so important.

Within the same vein, her smile to Kotaro in episode 10 is one during an emotionally heavy moment. It's the first time he's hit an actual snag in his plans. Sakura's singular focus on the Arpino show rather than on the bigger picture of the group as a whole would have been a massive roadblock had she not realized her mistake.

Yugiri is the only one who properly realizes the reason they were sent into the mountains in the first place. Instead of simply sitting on the information, she's proactive about it and actually goes to discuss the problem with Kotaro. She wants to understand his reasoning so that she might be able to help him. And when she turns toward him, she also gives him the observations she's witnessed throughout her new life. This smile may be low on my list of favorites, but it's still unbelievably important.

...Also, when they released the preview image of this smile, my brain short-circuited for ten minutes, so it had to make it onto the list regardless.

8. Season Two, Episode One: The Professional Smile

This smile isn't much out of the ordinary for what we've come to expect of Yugiri, but it's on here because this was our first look at Yugiri after basically two years of very little. None of us knew how the group would come back, how the writing team had incorporated the unexpected pandemic, how things would play out, or what would be happening. The Promo showed Tae's hand flying off to knock off Sakura's head, but as 2018 displayed, the promos can't always be trusted. This showed that, even in this new world where she's only been awake for a year, she's putting her skills to use and working just as hard as the others. Thanks to the conversation from Episode 10 of the first season, we know she was trained as a geisha which would make service work much easier than it would be for the other girls.

I don't have too much to say on this one, to be honest. I do like that she's in softer lighting, as opposed to the others who were all surrounded by harsh lighting on their season two introductions. The softer lighting lends itself well to the lack of pigment and coloration in the girls' makeup, allowing Yugiri to look like she has some color, even if she still looks somewhat pale and tired. It doesn't give her quite the same sickly look the others have at their jobs. The red dress? 100/10. Perfect decision.

7. Season One, Episode Five: The Proud Smile

SHE. DOES. GYMNASTICS. She has every right to this smile! I did the math for this specific part of the episode and Yugiri got third place. The judges liked her rope aerobics so much, they shot her all the way to third place even though her distance was zero meters. It wouldn't have gotten her interviewed, but it would have at least put Franchouchou at the forefront. I still applaud Tae snagging first place, but Yugiri deserves some praise. She really did go face first into the mud on a bike and said, "Never again." She's so proud of herself. I'll be gushing about the actual gymnastics part in a different post a little later, too, but she definitely deserves to be proud of herself. I'm really gay...

6. Season One, Episode Four: The Cute Smile

Originally, this was just going to be me doing some keysmash version of a squeal or something, but there's something I'd like to draw attention to. I'm pretty sure that, by this point, Franchouchou only knows two songs. Yomigaere, which was supposed to be performed in episode 2, and Mezame Returner, which is what's being performed here. Of these two, Yugiri has more experience with this one, but from what the audience had been shown, it wasn't good experience.

Memorizing the lyrics would have been the easy part for her. It's that a good portion of the dance practice was also spent helping Lily get the steps down and potentially calming her frustrations. Then the performance itself would have been a complete disaster if Junko and Ai hadn't gotten over themselves at the last minute to finally help.

This is the first successful performance of Mezame Returner we're witnessing and it's clear the group's had more practice since then. You can see how excited and happy Yugiri is here because this one is actually going well. They had a bit more time to prepare, the two lead roles were actually involved this time, and the audience also was clearly enjoying the performance. She's so happy and it's just so heart-warming to see. Yes, even with the CGI. Don't @ me, she looks adorable.

5. Season One, Episode Seven: The Sassy Smile

This one also was just going to be a squealing keysmash thing, but again, I have something to point out. Look how much more confident she is now that Junko and Ai have, once again, gotten over themselves. Yugiri sees the effect that Junko stepping in had on the others and just like the rest of the group, her movements are more relaxed and free.

It's more obvious, actually, if you look at the way the other girls are moving directly after Junko helps Ai up in comparison to how Yugiri is moving. She did a spin while waiting for Sakura and Lily to finish their segment, and she could be cheeky during her own. She sensed that the tension had mostly dissolved and because of that, she allowed herself to relax and could properly throw herself into the performance. When she throws out this smile and wink, it's not actually directed at the audience. It's Yugiri telling the others that they've got this without breaking the performance.

4. Season Two, Episode Four: The Gentle Smiles

I put both of these here because Yugiri's just... so... caring? So much of what she does is passive that you don't realize just how much work she puts into relieving the stress from the other girls until long after the problem has been resolved.

In the first, she's speaking to Sakura. No doubt, Yugiri probably noticed how worried Sakura was about Junko. Even though Sakura was trying not to let the others catch on just how anxious she really was, Yugiri still knew that something was bothering Sakura as well as Junko. Yugiri knew that the key to easing Junko's mind lay in placating Sakura first. She's seen what happens to them all when they fall apart and she wants to avoid that at all costs. So, Yugiri lifts Sakura's spirits and gives her back the fire and determination to make a great performance.

In the second, Yugiri is watching Junko eat. Unlike the others, it's clear Yugiri knows that Junko is in much higher spirits than when last they saw her. Junko would likely have still been a stuttering, quivering mess otherwise, but she wasn't stuttering and her actions were purposeful and self-assured. Yugiri is very observant. She would have caught on that something had happened to make Junko feel better. What makes this smile even better is that she's not the least bit disappointed. The reason she made dinner was to help Junko, but she doesn't view the meal as a waste of time. She's so focused on other people, that she's happy Junko is feeling better at all and even offers her different platters to help keep her mood up.

These are high on the list for two reasons. One, they're a show of just how much Yugiri does for her girls. Two, YUGIRI COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HEADCANON CONFIRMED BITCHEEEESSS!!! I GOT ONE RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!

3. Season Two, Episode Six: The Affectionate Smile

I will be completely honest, I have no idea why this one is as high as it is. I admit, I did spend three hours replaying this single thirty second scene because it's really sweet and Yugiri and Tae don't interact very often, so seeing Yugiri not only be worried for Tae, but also be immediately reassured that Tae would be fine was just something my heart didn't know it needed until it had it. The sheer level of affection Yugiri shows toward Tae is too adorable. Especially since Yugiri usually only has moments like those with Sakura and, to a lesser extent, Lily. This smile's really cute, it's in the middle of a wholesome scene, and it made me love both Yugiri and Tae that much more.

2. Season One, Episode Three: The Excited Smile

Once again, an entry that was going to be a simple squealing keysmash until I realized there was something to point out here as well. This is the first smile we ever see from Yugiri that's genuinely enthusiastic. She has plenty of them, especially during her performances, but this is our first time seeing her fully incorporate herself into the group as an actual member and actually look excited to do something with the others. This was an omen of adorable things to come and damn did it deliver.

Honorable Mentions.

I'm only going to touch on each of these briefly because to be honest, there are a LOT of smiles I could've picked.

The first one is from episode 6 when the group is talking about their very first meet-and-greet. Lily asks Yugiri if she's keeping up okay, and Yugiri remarks that she's taking things as they come. This was a small look into the kind of character she is. As I mentioned before, she's very passive in the way she operates, but that's to the benefit of those she cares for. This is her admitting that she doesn't want to be a problem and it's just sweet that even though Lily is worried about her, Yugiri's still highkey thinking about everyone else.

To the right is a shot of Yugiri during Electric Returner. This one is just the squealing keysmash because she looks so genuinely ecstatic, it's contagious. She's NO DAMN CLUE what happened or why they sound so different, but she is absolutely living her best second life.

The next shot comes from the beginning of Yomigaere and is somewhat of a repeat of the above. She's excited to perform for such a big crowd, she's glad Sakura finally agreed to actually participate, and she's living her best second life. Whoever animates Yugiri's CG model? I love you. I want to send you a gift basket. She's always so happy during performances.

Then comes her smile after the group finds out Sakura's memories are back. She's just glad Sakura, her Sakura, has come back to them, that she accepts her crap luck and is still willing to stay. For Yugiri, this goes under the list of Best Possible Outcomes. Her family is whole again and she's so relieved.

Last in the top row is the first full frontal shot we get of Yugiri in the Saga Jihen music video. She's so unbelievably adorable here. I wish I could've gotten her first expression, but the curtain was still rising and without photoshop, I'm not editing an image to the degree needed to get her whole face lightened. Point is, she's cute and everyone deserves to see her adorable face on the first song she got to be center for.

First on the bottom row is Yugiri looking apologetic from episode 8 of Revenge. She's so cute. It was an honest mistake and she had no way of knowing the paper belonged to Kiichi. No doubt, that was probably why she offered to help him rewrite them later.

Next is how cute she looks in big sister mode. She's wiping the mud from Kiichi's cheeks and is taking such care with him. Throughout the entire episode, she treats him like a little kid and it's likely because her role was big sister for so long that she doesn't know how not to treat him that way. It really does shed light on just how kind she is to everyone, though, that she doesn't even think about her dirty kimono and focuses on cleaning him up a little first.

Then we have her smiling at Kiichi as she remarks on how beautiful his dream of reviving Saga is. She even says she hopes it comes true. His dream means something to her. She can't even fully see it, he can't even fully see it, but they don't need to. What Itou didn't understand this whole time is something Yugiri understood immediately just from listening to Kiichi talk. They don't need to see it in their minds, all they need is to feel it in their hearts, and that's something Yugiri knows.

And lastly on the honorable mentions, because this post is already super long, Yugiri smiling while she's cooking for her guests. It was a tossup between this or the pinwheel because it's just really nice that Yugiri can simply enjoy mundane things. I chose this one because it's a direct contrast to how she was at the beginning. Before, she ate with a disinterested expression, but now, she's cooking for guests rather than just for herself. The lift in her mood is obvious, and it's something so small but so heartwarming, I couldn't resist.

I would've put the pinwheel moment anyway, but unfortunately, as a com major, formatting and design are everything and an extra picture on the top or bottom without a balancer would've thrown the whole thing off. Maybe next time.

NOW FOR NUMBER ONE

1. Season Two, Episode Eight: The Softest Smile

This should have been expected. There's something genuinely touching about the fact that Yugiri really does give her everything, even to complete strangers. These girls barely know her, everyone in town barely knows her, but because her dance students suggested Yugiri go out and actually experience, Yugiri gives it actual thought. She doesn't dismiss them, she doesn't deride them, she doesn't make them feel foolish or anything like that. She treats their suggestion the same way she would if it had come from a close friend. And she does actually take them up on it.

Later, we see her come into contact with Kiichi to demonstrate that even full-on strangers aren't exempt from her kind heart, but this means more. All we know is that these girls take Yugiri's dance class, and from the way they speak when we first meet them, it's clear Yugiri has a professional wall between herself and those she instructs. But she still treats them as she would the girls back in Shimabara. It's proof that, even in the past, Yugiri really was just as kind-hearted as in the present. It's a show don't tell kind of thing that just speaks so deeply to the writer in me. I love this smile. It's everything. Her smiles are everything. She's everything.

[zaffrenotes]

[TRR x ES] Viewing Party

Book: The Royal Romance & Endless Summer Pairings: Liam x MC (Katrina Bailey), Drake x OC (Alyssa Devereaux), Jake x MC (Laurel) Rating/Warnings: G; mild innuendo Author’s Note: * All main characters belong to Pixelberry, I’m just borrowing them * Katrina Bailey & Laurel are the MCs I use when writing fanfic for TRR and ES, respectively; Alyssa Devereaux belongs to birthday girl @burnsoslow​ * This is my submission for @wackydrabbles​​ Prompt 80: Stop looking at me like that. * Author’s Note 2: * This is a birthday gift for my cheesy, potato loving homegirl Burnsie, who requested her very first Endless Summer/Jake fic, despite having never read any ES fic until now 🙈 for the sole reason being that she and Jake McKenzie are almost birthday twins, and my favorite pilot turns 30 this year. If you’re unfamiliar with canon ES trivia, Jake can hold his breath for 9 minutes, and Estela can hold her breath for an astonishing 14. This isn’t entirely what I had in mind when I set out to write an ES/Jake birthday fic, but I wasn’t about to miss your day because I’ve hit a whole ass writer’s wall, Burnsie! I hope you have an AMAZING day and I’m sending you so many hugs! You’re one of the sweetest ladies here, and I am so very thankful that I can call you a friend 🥰 also my real, real gift to you is coming at a later date, as I still have to work on it 😬 * and yes, that’s DDT in the moodboard - just for Burnsie, again - since I use Barnes as Drake’s FC in my TRR fics, lol * Word Count: 2000 on the dot!

It was nearly 10:00 PM on Friday evening, when Burns arranged things around the comfiest chair in her living room. The rest of her family already retired for the evening, after a small but wonderful birthday celebration in her honor at home. Within easy reach, she’d arranged drinks and snacks next to her laptop - a glass of water, a hot mug of tea, a slice of homemade birthday cake to take care of any sugar cravings, and a small platter of cheese and crackers for something more savory. She grinned softly at the newest addition to her mug collection, watching the steam rise from the contents within. 

The lavender mug arrived in the mail earlier that day from one of her friends, emblazoned with a quote from David Rose. Burns took a sip of the warm beverage before setting it down on the small side table and situated herself in the chair. She flipped open the laptop and pulled up a browser window, smiling at a gift from another friend - there was a sticker next to the trackpad with a drawing of a wedge of Swiss, quoting another memorable line from Schitt’s Creek, reminding her to “fold in the cheese.” Burns glanced to the time on the screen and logged in to her Netflix account, clicking until she arrived at the viewing party, and began typing to join the group chat. 

She was greeted with jubilant messages from Donna, Ella, Brandy, Anitah, and half a dozen other friends, wishing her a happy birthday before the show started. They’d formed an ever-growing viewing party for a new series titled Stranded in the Orchard, which was an odd amalgamation of Survivor and Gilligan’s Island. Taking a cue from reality tv competitions, there were hidden cameras all over the island to monitor everyone and reduce production crew intervention, and in a nod to Hunger Games, there was an omnipresent host that would drop messages to signal when challenges were about to take place. After four episodes, the ladies in the watching party started picking their favorites from the two teams. 

Team Ruby consisted of a group that appeared to have been shipwrecked onto the island. Leo was dubbed The Rogue; his brother Liam was The CEO; Katrina was The Attorney; Alyssa was The Teacher; Drake was The Cowboy; Olivia was The Weapons Expert; Bertrand was The Grump; Madeleine was The Whiner; Maxwell was Bertrand’s brother and The Jester; Hana was The Jill of All Trades. Bertrand and Madeleine had already been voted off when Ruby lost two events. 

Team Catalyst consisted of a group of mostly college students. Jake was The Pilot; Laurel was The Mystery Girl; Sean was The Coach; Michelle was The Doctor, even though she was only pre-med; Craig was The Muscle; Zahra was The Engineer; Aleister was The Slick One; Grace was The Brain; Diego was The Entertainer; Estela was The Huntress. Catalyst lost the last two events, which sent Aleister and Grace packing. 

Everyone settled in to watch the opening credits as they recapped last week’s episode, where Ruby won the immunity challenge and fishing gear by building a makeshift stretcher to rescue and carry Katrina from a jungle crash site to a first aid station on the beach; Catalyst voted Grace out. Burns popped a cheese cube into her mouth as she and her friends watched the two groups deal with day-to-day chores in their respective camps on Day 14 of the show. They chatted about the team members and how much Burns wanted to see Drake take off his shirt to go in the water, despite the knowledge that there were clips of him cuddling with Alyssa; Donna, Ella, and Anitah would keysmash in the group chat any time Liam appeared on the screen, even though he and Katrina were clearly sweet on each other, while Brandy and Alyssa Lauren would ask what was happening or who someone was from the Catalyst team.

—

“Pillows and blankets are nice, but what we could really use is food,” Maxwell said, drawing an octopus in the sand with a piece of driftwood. “I don’t know how much longer I can last on coconuts and rice.” 

“Liam and Drake took the raft out this morning to try fishing with the gear, maybe they’ll get lucky,” Katrina suggested, stirring the pot of rice in the fire. She set the lid on top and stood up from her kimchi squat position, dusting some errant sand off her leg. They both looked out towards the water, as dawn stretched out across the ocean, making out shadowy forms of their friends as they bobbed in the water, just before one of them went under the surface. Behind them, the rest of their friends began to stir awake from the scent of rice cooking. 

Back at the Catalyst camp, Jake sat by the campfire with Estela; they were working on making their own fishing gear from bamboo and camp supplies after losing the previous challenge. Jake fed a length of twine through a handmade fishing pole while Estela sharpened tips on one end of a pile of branches she’d gathered. “Whatcha whittlin’, Katniss?” 

Estela glanced at Jake sideways. “Stakes. Hand over some of that twine, I need it to bind these to make spears.” With a begrudging huff, Jake unfurled the twine and ran it against the edge of the makeshift bench he was sitting on to cut it, before tossing the rest at Estela. 

“How fast can you tie those off? We’re losin’ daylight for a morning catch, if you wanna ride on the raft with me.” 

“Five minutes,” she answered, already working nimbly around a branch to secure the whittled spikes. 

The screen cut back to Ruby’s camp, where Liam and Drake stepped ashore, smiles brighter than the sunrise as Drake held up a fish trap with small rays flapping against one another. 

—

“kjsdhfksjhfksjhfks,” Burns smashed into her keyboard. “Look at my man! With the sea bounty!” 

“mevmnbvmnxb,” Ella smashed back.

“How do you know Drake did all the work? Liam’s just as wet, hahaha,” Donna chortled in response.

—

After killing their catch as humanely as possible - with Alyssa turning her face to Drake’s chest to avoid witnessing it - Leo and Olivia gutted and cleaned the rays before setting them on top of their makeshift grill to cook. Liam and Drake regaled the group with their morning under the water, as they took turns fishing. 

While Team Ruby enjoyed some protein with their rice that morning, members of the Catalyst team glumly spooned rice into their mouths as they sat around the campfire while Jake and Estela dried off; their morning fishing trip had been unsuccessful. 

Later that day, both teams received messages from the host to gather for a reward challenge. Each team made their way to a small lagoon, where they saw a structure floating in the water. A booming voice overhead instructed them to swim out to the structure and await further instructions. Once everyone from both teams had done so, a blue holographic image of the host appeared in the center to explain the rules. “The challenge is simple,” she narrated. “We want to see who can hold their breath the longest. There’s a bar you can use to keep yourself from floating up if you need it. Last one standing earns the prize for the whole team — an overnight trip at the Celestial Hotel, where our rotating film crew goes to rest. You’ll be treated to clean sheets and towels, hot showers, along with a decadent dinner and breakfast menu the next morning, before having to return to your camp.” 

Everyone’s eyes lit up at the incentive of a night away from sleeping on the beach, away from mosquitos, rodents, and the threat of being waterlogged by passing storms. Stomachs gurgled at the thought of hot meals that didn’t consist of rice, and the possibility of cocktails or wine. “Oh, we got this,” Jake murmured quietly to Laurel. “Bet I can hold my breath longer’n any of those Ruby kids.” 

“Is that so?” Leo taunted, overhearing Jake’s comment.

“Just call me Poseidon,” Jake smirked. 

“We’ll see about that,” Leo replied. “You know most of us are from an island, right? We’re basically merpeople.” 

—

“Bets! Bets on who wins this!” Brandy typed into the chat window.

“Sticking with Drake,” Burns typed. “Maybe Hana. She could have another random talent up her sleeve.” 

“My money’s on Liam. Look how broad his chest is,” Anya replied. “He’s got to have massive lungs to match.”

“That makes no sense,” Ella typed, adding a laughing emoji. “But I’m Team Liam anyway.”

“Don’t hate me,” Donna began. “Something tells me Jake isn’t boasting right now.” 

From her screen at home, Alyssa Lauren used Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe to choose Zahra. The rest of the group picked their favorites as the castaways donned goggles and got into the water. 

—

“Ready? Set! Go!” 

Sixteen heads dipped under the water’s surface, with contestants pinching their noses and puffing out their cheeks as an underwater camera filmed them. A handful of them - Olivia, Alyssa, Maxwell, Diego, and Michelle - tapped out under a minute. As the sand settled, thirty seconds passed before Katrina, Laurel, Sean, and Drake headed to the surface. Just after the two minute mark, Hana, Craig, and Zahra gave up, leaving Jake, Liam, Estela, and Leo under the water. 

Jake looked positively peaceful, sandy brown hair swaying with ease in the water. Estela tapped her fingers lightly across the bamboo rod, counting each second as it passed. Liam glanced over to his brother, who’d begun to turn pink. Half a minute later, Leo popped up to the surface, muttering to himself out of frustration. 

Three minutes in, Liam surfaced, gasping for air, leaving Jake and Estela to battle it out between themselves. Even though the hologram host blasted a horn to signal the end of the challenge, neither Catalyst member surfaced. Liam ducked down to check on them, and Jake and Estela both signaled that they were fine. Everyone continued to wait as the pair spent minute after minute under the water.

—

“Seriously? They’re on the same team!” Anitah typed. “They won already!” 

“They’ve been underwater for a scary length of time,” Brandy added. “What are they, Navy SEALs or something?” 

“I think Jake mentioned he was actually in the Navy before,” Alyssa Lauren replied. 

—

A digital clock appeared in the corner of the screen as the two Catalyst members continued to hold their breath underwater. With each passing minute, members from both groups began to worry. After eight minutes passed, the host’s voice rang out, advising them to pull Jake and Estela up from the water to end the challenge. Laurel and Craig ducked down, eventually pulling their teammates up. “Congratulations to The Catalysts!” the host exclaimed. “A boat will be waiting at your camp to take you to the hotel.” 

Laurel swatted Jake’s arm as they made their way to the shore. “What’s wrong with you!? You were underwater for nearly ten minutes! Who does that!?” 

Jake looked over his shoulder to her with a grin, mischievous sparkle in his bright blue eyes. “Ten would be a new record, my best is nine.” He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Imagine nine uninterrupted minutes of me holding my breath, Princess. My birthday is tomorrow, and I know exactly how I wanna celebrate,” he winked.  

Laurel’s cheeks flushed at the suggestion. “Stop looking at me like that, Top Gun.”

—

That evening at the hotel, after a sumptuous feast of lobster, crab, and an endless supply of beer and wine, the Catalyst members eventually went to bed. Much later into the night, Jake was seen sneaking into Laurel’s room. 

—

“I KNEW IT!” Burns typed. She laughed as her friends typed in responses full of lemon, fire, pepper, and eggplant emojis. She popped another cheese cube into her mouth and smiled, watching the rest of the episode play out.

[do-you-have-a-flag]

Destiel shippers come get ya’ll juice!

SO @deadwright​ and I were inspired by Some Tumblr Posts and the twitter Roadhouse  Wedding stuff and keep writing headcanons about Thee Destiel 2021 Married Ever After S16 SPN Romantic Event Of The Season, so here’s that. 

Arranged in order of marital chronology and cutting out us keysmashing too much:

oh man imagine all the burgers they get catered for the reception dean got it done himself he would’ve been so particular about the catering bridezilla cas would probably be THEE bitchiest bridezilla

it's also definitely that trope where all the other hunters ect KNOW that that many of them and the wedding party are essentially a target for trouble so everyone spends the 24 hours leading up to the vows taking out every beastie who shows up on a revenge kick out of sight because they'll be damned if they let ANYTHING stop this wedding and Dean and cas are both having their marital jitters oh god im not good enough what if something goes wrong about mundane things while monsters are getting their ass kicked outside AWWWWWWWW for sure for sure, they’re hunter royalty this wedding is a big deal like half the attendees are nursing injuries but grinning widely

they don't do the can't see eachother before the wedding thing because you KNOW dean would be fixing cas' tie last minute

dean wears a blue pocket square to match cas' tie cas wears a FLANNEL SQUARE

I’m obsessed w the idea of cas giving dean a little bit of his grace in a small bottle on a chain for him to wear or like a wing feather or some part of him god the grace in a bottle breaks me every time in fic dean probably builds cas something but every time i try to think of something specific i choke up

i was thinking like what if trading grace is as close to a romantic gesture as angels have and he's like..... technically i left some grace behind in your mark when i dragged you from the pit and dean is like ARE YOU SAYING WE'VE BEEN MARRIED THIS WHOLE TIME? 

they are so sweet i’m on the verge of tears the ability to do anything by halves in their relationship was burnt out by like the second return from the dead moment they are too insane to be anything less than All In And Then Some

at one point someone was like hey cas do you want to run your vows by someone as practice? and he started reading what he'd prepared and it devolved into Biblically Grand Statements Of The Power Of Love And The Redemption Of - ect ect ect and it's because unlike the confession scene he's had TOO much preparation and overshot into uncanny angelic vibes he makes some edits because he know the expressions he gets when he reads it aren't what he intended

dean writes page after page after page of unused drafts, none of them are particularly floral

he does the cliche of ripping up his vows and improvising at the altar, something he gets mercilessly teased for because he swore he wouldn't but it classifies as a chick flick moment

THAT’S SO PEAK HIM OH MY GOD and you knoooooow you just KNOW it’s beautiful and emotional and everyone is crying

god the NOVELTY of dean being emotionally honest in front of people......im gonna faint YEA yeah... ONE TIME ONLY DEAL he thinks loudly at Sam's smug expression

anyway, at the wedding dean is the one who spends the whole ceremony with like crying cat meme eyes after the confession scene i’m pretty sure the minute the vows start cas is in the same boat USELESS HUSBANDS dean gets passed a handkerchief for his tears and immediately goes to use it on cas' face and they both laugh sob love the idea that everyone individually thought they were too tough to cry but they all broke at various stages yeah sam definitely starts to choke up just standing up there with his brother sam chokes up before the ceremony even started, like probably when he was pinning on dean’s corsage

anyway, Jack dancing with his two dads at the reception CAS’ BEST MAN / FLOWER BOY FLOWER MAN let him heelie down the aisle with the flowers LITTLE MAN GO NYOOM who makes him a little flower crown he wears with a proud lil smile? claire ofc, with those hair braiding skills? she makes it BEAUTIFUL flower crown: on nails: painted dads: MARRIED!!!!

when they say i do and kiss and everyone is cheering you can't convince me that someone doesn't let off what is either a gun or a dubiously legal firework in celebration jack pops a few lightbulbs in his uncontrollable joy

Dean and Cas can't let go of each other, it's at LEAST one point of physical contact for the rest of the reception PERIODT

CAN YOU IMAGINE THEM DANCING TO AIR SUPPLY

they definitely didn't do the wedding gifts thing but a few mysteriously show up anyway; discuss waffle iron from sam bc he remembers the becky incident meanwhile claire gets them flavoured lube because she’s an insane little mean girl she gets them a sampler package with like novelty flavours, gotta spring extra for a wedding PIE FLAVOURED LUBE

it’s gonna be the party of the century omfg you KNOW it! that dancefloor going OFF the BAR is FLOWING

dean gets dragged up onto the bar to make a speech and there's a moment at the end where he drags cas up there too and they're being playfully yelled at not to scuff it and there's hooting and catcalls as dean and cas kiss and dean gestures rudely before almost falling backwards off the bar before cas grabs him and climbing down is less romantic or dignified but he couldn't care if he wanted to

meanwhile sam and claire are outside defacing the impala with silly string and lewd graffiti and tin cans tied to the bumper for the going-away oh it is one hundo percent a just married atrocity there's enough condoms hidden in the car that they're still finding them months later

anyway wanna hear my disgustingly soppy honeymoon roadtrip concept? YOU KNOW I DO OKAY SO

you know at some point dean must have said some sad thing like for the longest time he never thought he'd live long enough to get married and the only circumstances he could imagine was hooking up drunkenly with a stranger at some vegas wedding scenario like that's the best he would ever get and he thinks it's mostly forgotten but then during their cross country honeymoon roadtrip castiel does in fact navigate them to las vegas and quietly mutters that the legal veracity of the little chapel on the city limits is dubious at best and they're already married so it couldn't do any harm and they get officiated by an elvis impersonator and a woman wearing more sequins than fabric throws cheap confetti over them

and after that they stop into every venue they can find that would be friendly to them to pretend they're eloping and at one point dean even pulls out the fbi id badges and the officiant is under the impression he's facilitating some sort of covert workplace romance 

one place is a kitchy little house that's clearly just the couple who run it opening their strange home to anyone who needs it and have been since the 70s and Castiel thinks for a moment when they're asked to pin something to the collection of stuff on the walls and ceiling before pulling the receipt for the pie they'd shared earlier in a dinner out and scrawling his and dean's name on it to be added to the clutter 

and at one point they stand ankle deep in a pond while some old hippie lady wraps their clasped hands together with soft fabric and chants something that dean knows isn't real magic but hey he's not going to tell her that and after the ceremony they sit on the grass and feed each other sweet bread to complete the binding or whatever and it's nice but it doesn't compare to the ranch where they both tossed their cowboy hats in the air and were given a horse to ride to their camp site

i thought about riverboat gambling for point one seconds and now i know in my bones that one of their many weddings was on a riverboat, they made the captain officiate after cornering him on deck in like five minutes, the crew sent them complimentary champagne and they threw fries at the birds following the boat while sharing it straight out of the bottle

if destiel can go canon multiple times they can get married multiple times CHANGE MY MIND THEY GET MARRIED SO MUCH the MOST married i just want them to get gay cowboy married

eventually i want them to end up at the beach bc dean has canonically never been to the coast their road trip is to get to the other coast

they send just married postcards back to sam from every stop sam stops feeling hurt he was left out of their vegas elopement wedding by the third wedding postcard he recieves sam saves them ofc bc GOD can you imagine them looking at the postcards on their 30th anniversary or s/t 🥺 showing their grandkids and recounting the story of each wedding there's a seashell taped to the last one

cas gets a terrible sunglasses tan and dean gets burnt on the tips of his ears and there's sand on sand on sand in all their clothes and at one point dean is blinking away salt water and cas is gripping his arm and saying something about the coral by them in the water and dean thinks that he likes floating beside cas a lot better than flying

dean has cas pick ice cream for them from a truck and hustles at carnival games enough to win them both big novelty foam hats and they both go back to their room and pass out immediately post shower sprawled across the bed and still smelling like sunscreen and salt water

dean tucks a little cocktail umbrella behind cas’ ear

cas spends most of the next day in dean's zepplin shirt and a pair of shorts they only picked up once they got there because neither of them thought to bring beach clothes, they sit on the balcony and dean sips his beer and idly plays with the ring on cas' finger and they play a game of what fictional monsters could they beat in a fight

cas’ true form is the size of the chrysler building he can fight king kong easy that's what he says and dean's like okay but what about mothra and castiel is like how would YOU defeat mothra and dean just goes "bugspray." GDJSGSHSGSHDSJ DEAN WOULD

in honour of misha putting his whole pussy into the role, cas wears a dress in at least one of their weddings

it's at one of those theme parks that's just historical re-enactments and people get their vows renewed there and there's costumes for the photobooth and the staff are like how long have you been married? castiel says two weeks, three days, eighteen hours, and twenty five minutes................ approximately.  and the photo is cas in a classical wedding gown and dean is wearing the veil with his old timey suit and there's a moose head on the wall behind them wearing the top hat he was given and they send that print with an arrow pointing at the moose with sam written next to it

i keep thinking bitch!!!! you KNOW WHAT!! you KNOW that dean is the type a guy who's heart races every time he feels his wedding ring/is always fiddling with it in the weeks after the wedding, like an anchor to remind him they really got married this is real he would NEED that physical reminder that he can have good things

he’s never ever going to take it off, the tan line will be permanent

how funny it would be if dean gets injured on a hunt and the monster guy is about to kill him and then the lights blow out and the monsters are like what was that and dean is just like "[spits blood] that's my husband." and nek minnit cas has just ripped through them thanks to teleporting in angel style and is just like Cas: [heals dean] "you're late for movie night" Dean: "Well if you'd gotten here earlier i would have been on time." Cas: >:| [kisses him]

cas is like i didn’t burn the popcorn this time you BETTER be alive to see it

[sambergscott]

a peralta guarantee

“I promise I’ll come home safe, Ames. That’s a Peralta Guarantee.”

(missing scenes from 7x08 - amy worrying about jake)

hUge thanks to johanna for inspiring this fic and helping when i had a lil breakdown halfway through

When he approaches her desk mid-afternoon with a decaf coffee and the white chocolate chip cookies she’s been craving from the bakery across town, she knows he’s either a) broken something, b) wants something or c) has bad news. She narrows her eyes suspiciously, detecting an excited bounce in his step which can only mean it’s b and c; he wants something she’s not going to like.

“Hey, babe,” he tries to play it cool, clearing a butt-sized space on her desk on which to sit. “I come bearing gifts.”

“What do you want, Peralta?” She cuts to the chase.

“Damn it, you know me too well,” he mutters. “OK, so, here’s the thing: Doug Judy’s gettin’ married. He invited me to his Bachelor Party this weekend and I know he’s a criminal, Ames, but I really wanna go. Like, so bad. Would you be cool with that?”

She conjures up a mental pro and con list. On one hand, Doug Judy is The Pontiac Bandit, known felon, committer of God knows how many crimes, an overall bad dude. On the other, he’s Jake’s friend, singer of the smush songs CD in the glove box of their car that they always forget to take out, giver of the Le Creuset pot she adores. He’s always been nice to her and—.

“Sarge?” Gary interrupts her decision-making process with a quick question about a perp he just brought in, snapping her back to reality. She’s a Police Sergeant, her job is to serve and protect the city they call home and as much as she loves cooking her mom’s beef casserole recipe in Judy’s awesome wedding gift, she has a responsibility to bring him in.

“I’m sorry, babe. I just think it’s a bad idea.”

His face falls, his disappointment coming through loud and clear.

“What were you expecting me to say? Ignore the million arrest warrants out on this guy, many of them submitted by you, so you can drink beer and go to strip clubs?”

“You’re right,” he sighs. “You’re obviously right. Man, being good at your job sucks.”

She nods in agreement. “Remember last month when I had to shut that binder store down for running a secret drug dealing operation out back?”

“How could I forget? You cried for three days straight.”

“They had the best binder collection I’ve ever seen!”

(It was actually what was so fishy about it. In four trips to buy pregnancy binders, she hadn’t seen any of the founding members of the Brooklyn Binder Babes blog — Mary Sue, Catherine, Margaret or Jane — once. And there’s no way a stationery start-up would attract such long queues without their recommendation. It was a pretty easy solve from there).

“The point is, you can’t go to a criminal’s Bachelor Party.” She pats his hand. “You’ll just have to come maternity clothes shopping with me instead. None of my jeans fit me anymore.”

“As much as I would love to, you can take Kylie. I’m going to the party.”

“What?” She double-takes. “Jake, did you not listen to what I literally just said? We’re cops. We cannot be friends with criminals.”

“But we can be friends with informants who have helped us catch numerous, even bigger, more dangerous criminals,” he says with that look on his face, the one he gets when he finds a loophole that he can use to his advantage. She recognises it from home videos Karen has shown her where, instead of tidying his room like she asked him to, seven year old Jake shoves everything under his bed and carries on enacting a police chase with his race cars. “Captain Holt has given him immunity before, so technically I should be able to go party it up with him in Miami!”

“Wait... It’s in Miami? Miami... Florida?”

It’s a stupid question, she knows. Of course he means Miami, Florida. It’s just... they both promised on the flight home that they would never, ever go back there. After everything that happened with Figgis and not knowing if they’d ever see each other again, a statewide travel ban seemed a good way to put it all behind them, focus on all their future moments together, not on all the moments they missed.

“This isn’t like last time,” he reassures her. “It’s only for a weekend and then I’ll be coming straight home for snuggles with you and —,” he lowers his voice to a whisper because they haven’t told anyone she’s pregnant yet, “the baby.”

Her eyes fill with tears and she bites her lip so hard to stop them overflowing in front of all her uniformed officers. It’s pretty clear that he wants to go and she never wants to be one of them wives who control their husbands’ every move. All she wants is for him to be happy. And if going to Doug Judy’s Bachelor Party makes him happy, he should go, no matter how much she hates the entire state of Florida. She agrees, on one condition: “You have to text me hourly updates to let me know that you’re still alive.”

“Don’t I text you constantly anyway?”

“I guess so,” she sniffs.

He lifts her chin so she’s looking him in the eyes. “I promise I’ll come home safe, Ames. That’s a Peralta guarantee.”

“You better,” she warns, tears suddenly flowing down her face at the thought of him not coming home, not being there to watch Property Brothers with her, not raising their baby and proving to everyone what a great dad he will be.

Used to her extra strength pregnancy hormones shifting her emotions from 0 to 100 faster than John McClane can say “Yippie-Ki-Yay, motherfucker”, he pulls her into a tight hug, careful not to crush the precious cargo that is behind said mood swings.

He strokes her hair and whispers that he’ll be home before she knows it and that nothing, not even the worst state in the country, will tear him away from her.

When it’s time for him to leave, she follows him out to the street and, after a brief argument over the fact he packed his bag before he OK’ed the trip with her and another hormone-induced cry when his cab shows up, reluctantly waves goodbye.

True to his word, he texts her before the car is even out of sight. Miss you already 😘.

--

Her phone buzzes periodically throughout the rest of the day.

In a meeting with Holt and Terry: flying on mark cuban’s dope ass private plane!!!!! ✈️

Cooking dinner: florida is HOT (not as hot as u babe, dont worry)

Doing her crossword in bed: g’night ames, g’night baby, love u both SO MUCH

She smiles, tells him she loves him too and braces herself for the barrage of drunk texts and selfies coming her way.

--

Sleeping without him sucks. The bed is cold, her pregnancy pillow is not as good of a cuddle buddy and she tosses and turns all night worrying about him, where he is, what he’s doing, whether he’s safe.

Her eyes finally slip shut around 1 am when her phone buzzes. Again. And again. And again.

She tries to ignore him, bury her head under her pillow and go back to sleep, but the messages keep coming thick and fast. She groans, giving up and unlocking her phone.

There are 47 new messages from him.

Forty-seven.

Her initial annoyance at being woken up quickly disappears as she scrolls through the thread. He’s mostly sent her random, meaningless emojis and keysmashes, interspersed with the odd “I love you”, “you’re my best friend” and “I’m thinking about you” that warm her heart. He mentions something about their proposal, about crying with Doug Judy, which obviously makes her cry too.

(Dumb pregnancy hormones).

By the time she reaches the bottom, he’s sent her 10 more.

She decides for her sake — and the sake of all of her officers who would have to deal with a tired, emotional pregnant lady — to turn off her phone and reply to him in the morning.

She returns her phone to her nightstand, settles back into a comfortable position and closes her eyes.

She lies motionless for what feels like hours, unable to fall asleep. She tries the breathing technique her brother David brags about constantly, counting sheep like little Matthew, even reciting police codes like Teddy used to go to sleep after sex. Nothing works. She’s still awake.

She turns her phone back on to see what Jake’s up to now, only to see his messages ended abruptly with a caterpillar emoji over an hour ago.  

She immediately panics, dialling 911 into her phone.

Her thumb hovers over the green call button.

She’s heard thousands of crazy operator call stories, frequently reminded the general population to only call in a genuine emergency and watched the YouTube compilations for fun. She deletes the number, positive that if she told an operator her husband was missing because she hadn’t heard from him while he’s at a Bachelor Party, she’s positive she would be added to those videos.

In an attempt to stop her spiral, she contemplates the possible scenarios in which his constant texts would cease.

Scenario 1: He’s living in the moment and has put his phone away (something she has been encouraging him to do lately to reduce his screen time)

Scenario 2: He’s very drunk and has completely forgotten about his promise

Scenario 3: He used up all his battery texting her and his phone has died

Scenario 4: He’s fallen asleep (although a quick check of Trudy Judy’s insta reveals the party is very much still in full flow)

Scenario 5: Judy’s criminal buddies have killed him and thrown his body into the ocean

Once the thought pops into her head, no amount of squeezing her eyes shut will make the image go away.

Holt giving an emotional eulogy about wearing ties and being an amazing detective/genius.  

Some rookie taking over his desk.  

The sympathetic looks when she tells all the other moms in baby group that her husband died.  

Usually Jake is there to hold her when her nightmares get bad. She rolls over, expecting to see his kind eyes and soft smile, the untouched side of his bed only serving to make her cry harder.

She can’t lose him. Not yet. Not until they’re old and grey, and maybe not even then. She spent so long denying her feelings for her dorky partner, rueing every missed opportunity to be together, and when they finally, finally took the plunge, she had never been happier. She can’t lose him yet. They have so much more life left to live.

She can’t lose him because he promised her he would come home safe. He guaranteed it.

She clings onto the tiny grain of hope like one might cling onto a raft in the middle of the ocean.

He would never break a Peralta guarantee.

--

Her phone finally buzzes again an hour later.

From: Unknown

Ames, it’s me, Jake. Judy’s buddies found out I’m a cop + destroyed my phone. So sorry I couldn’t text before. Hope you didn’t worry too much, although I know you probably haven’t slept. You can stop worrying now. I’m safe. Love you + see you tomorrow.  

Love you too, she responds, yawning as she places the phone back on the side table.

Relieved that he’s OK, and exhausted from all the worrying, she falls into the easiest sleep she’s ever had.

--

Before she knows it, it’s the next afternoon, Jake’s keys are turning in the lock, he’s dropping his holdall on the floor and rushing to her side to kiss her all over her face.

“I missed you too,” she laughs, kissing him properly.

“Sorry it took so long — Doug and Trudy made me fly commercial —.”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re home now. That’s all that matters.”

“I’m never leaving you two again,” he swears.

“You’ll have to leave us eventually to go to the bathroom and stuff,” she points out, raking her fingers through the unruly curls that she so hopes their baby will inherit. “Just don’t go back there.”

A solemn understanding passes over his face and he nods. “Never again. Not even if our kid wants to go to Disney World. We’ll take them to the California one instead.”

“Smort,” she says, stealing his line and in an instant, that familiar grin is back.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

A dozen memories flood back, of oldies in short shorts and shuffleboard and Doug Judy getting away again. Of noice and smort and saying “I love you” for the very first time. Her eyes fill with tears — dumb pregnancy hormones strike again — as she buries her face in his shoulder.

“Let’s go to bed,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and lifting her bridal style to carry her to their room. He places her carefully onto the mattress and flops down next to her.

She snuggles into him, eyes closing once more. “Did we even get an invite to the wedding?”

“Not even close,” he sighs.

“Damn it. I would’ve loved to see that trainwreck.”

“You and me both, babe. You and me both.”

[wangxianfics]

helloooo! have you read any fics where either of them are put in an arranged marriage to someone else but of course, end up with each other anyways? Thank you in advance, and I love your blog so much, it helps my hunt for more wangxian almost on a daily basis❤️💙

Hello nonny! 

Here’s a “Non-Wangxian Arranged Marriage” masterpost with Wangxian as the endgame ship. 

Please, read the tags to know between who the arranged marriage is. Also read the notes carefully as some of the fics are not purely Wangxian so that’s a heads up for everybody!

Burning Bridges by Keysmashed (12+K, Explicit)

(Arranged Marriage between WWX & LXC, Misunderstandings, Pining, Love Confessions, Emotional Sex)  @keysmash

For many years, Wei Wuxian had been in love with Lan Wangji, craving what little attention he could get from the stoic young man. Dismissals and rejections never mattered until one last push made him believe he was never going to earn Lan Wangji's affection.

When a letter from Gusu arrived in Yunmeng asking for Wei Wuxian's hand in marriage for the First Jade of Lan, a broken-hearted Wei Wuxian accepted the proposal in hope of forgetting his first love.

*** WangXian Arranged Marriage AU, with a twist.

@keysmash

Almost, Almost Mine by minttcm (1+K, General)

(Arranged Marriage between WWX & LXC, Angst With a Happy Ending)

Lan Wangji does not know why it irks him so. Because the ring on his brother's finger was just too damn shiny and the preparations were too damn grand and his fiancé, oh heavens, his fiancé. He was too amazing for Lan Wangji's own good.

Brash and loud yet so tentative and calculating. His name was Wei Wuxian and he almost wishes his brazen behaviour would one day become his undoing.

But he is running out of days, as the wedding strikes near and he can tell that they don't love each other as much as he could love Wei Wuxian and yet nobody says a damn word.

Caught staring at his brother's betrothed on the dinner table, Wei Wuxian just had to notice. Wangji doesn't know why he smiles so coyly even then when he whispers such shameless, scandalous words.

"Staring at me? My, Wangji if only you were your brother."

It was just all too cruel. And he was too. -

Wei Wuxian is set to marry Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji finds himself more displeased than he'd care to admit.

the trophy boys from here to if and when by ThunderstormsandMemories (4+K, Teen)

(Arranged Marriage between WWX & NHS, Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously)

in which Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian get friend-married for political reasons (but mostly to mess with people)

OR, “Probably just how amazing you are, and how jealous they are of you and your wonderful marriage,” Nie Huaisang said, patting Wei Wuxian’s cheek lovingly, because what was the point in being married to your best friend, partially for political reasons and partially to piss off stuffy people like Sect Leader Yao, if you weren’t going to be as obnoxious as possible just because you could get away with it.

Three Worlds, One Life by limedumplr (10K, Teen)

(Arranged Marriage between WWX & WQ, Angels & Demons, Pining, Fairytale AU)

Out of all the celestials, it figured that Wei Wuxian would lose his celestial robe to a human.

When news of this disaster spread, everyone in heaven talked. How could a god lose their robe?

But no one particularly cared that the miscreant Lesser God Wei Wuxian was missing. It was only natural that someone with no regard for the rules would get duped by a human. After a few months, heaven seemed to move on from this development.

Lan Wangji could not move on.

Rebound Betrothal by mondengel (1+K, Not Rated)

(Arranged Marriage between LWJ & JYL, Angst, Fluff, Humor)  

Jiang Fengmian takes the opportunity of a broken betrothal to strengthen ties with Gusu Lan.

@mondengel

Necessary Alliances by lonesomewriter (3+K, General)

(Arranged Marriage between LWJ & JYL, Slight Angst) 

After an arranged marriage is set with the Jiang and Lan families, Wei Wuxian steps in as a bride to save his sister from being forced into a loveless marriage.

@lonesome-writer​

Neatly Arranged by thunderwear (46K, Teen)

(Arranged Marriage between LWJ & JYL, Hurt & Comfort, Pining)

Betrothed. Lan Wangji was six the first time he heard that word. He wasn’t quite sure what it meant, but his mother didn’t seem to like it, so he decided that he didn’t like it either.

Betrothed by lil_apple (13+K, General)

(Arranged Marriage between WWX & one of the Lan bros, A/B/O, Alpha!LWJ, Omega!WWX, Meet Cute)

Wei WuXian is in Gusu, not only to study but also to be courted by the Lan brothers and to choose one and get engaged. OR Where I keep the initial plot of Mo Dao Zu Shi intact but insert a bit of extra romance and protective Lan Wangji.

Locked Away by SilverPenGoldLetters (5+K, Not Rated)

(Arranged Marriage between LWJ & OFC, Post-Canon, Love Confessions)

“Which one of the Two Jades of Lan is getting married?” He tried to keep his voice calm, but it just came out cold and emotionless. He gritted his teeth, willing to regulate his breathing that was steadily becoming irregular and shallow.

“Ha … Hang … Hanguang-Jun …”

Two Months Married by mondengel (2K, Teen)

(Arranged Marriage between LWJ & OFC, Angst, Adultry, Divorce)

Lan Wangji was married to a fine woman of the Lan clan when a flute warbled out the song of his heart.

(LWJ is married to an OFC before WWX comes back.) @mondengel​ 

The light of you will stay by Lakritzwolf (Mature, 46+K, WIP)

(Arranged marriage between LWJ & OFC, Angst, Hurt & Comfort, Implied Het Sex because Pregnancy, OFC, Original Child Character)

Lan Wangji lost everything, and has only himself to blame. What remains are the memories, and a little boy who Lan Wangji swears will never forget how to smile. He wouldn’t have fought, if it weren’t for him. He wouldn’t have tried to hold on, if not for the silent promise he made in the darkest moment of his life.

As much as he wants to be with Wei Ying again, his promise keeps him bound here.

After flogging, repenting, and seclusion, Lan Wangji faces the next ordeal, also designed to bring him back onto the right path: to give the Lan Clan legitimate heirs. He sees no point in resisting, and resumes his duty to sect and family with the same stoic acceptance that brought him through everything else.

He hopes that one day, kinder fates may reunite them again, and that Wei Ying will be able to forgive him. And until that day, he treasures the memories of a smile that is forever lost to him.

(LWJ is married to an OFC and also has a child with her.)

Marry Him, Not Me by Wuxian_Biscuit (8K, Mature)

(Arranged marriage between LWJ & JC, Royalty AU, Pining, Secret Relationship, Courting Rituals)

To bolster alliances, Prince Jiang Cheng has been arranged to marry Prince Lan Wangji. However, Jiang Cheng only has eyes for his already engaged older brother, Lan Xichen, and Lan Wangji for Jiang Cheng's knight and guard, Wei Wuxian.

@wuxian-biscuit

Unexpected by nanodayolo (68+K, Teen)

(Arranged marriage between LWJ & MXY, Princess and the Pauper AU, Impersonation, On the Run)

When the Lanling Jin sect runs into financial trouble, a marriage between the third son of LanlingJin, Mo Xuanyu, and the Second Jade of Lan, Lan Wangji is arranged. But before the two can even meet, Mo Xuanyu is kidnapped.

Wei Wuxian has to pretend to be Mo Xuanyu, all while spending time with Lan Wangji, while Mo Xuanyu tries to find his way back home with the help of the street smart Xue Yang.

None of them could have possibly foreseen the outcome.

[foxsoulcourt]

Can I? HELLO?!!! I’m guessing you already know JereJean is one of my fave AFTG fic categories, yes? So, the short answer Y E S I absolutely can…and will. Longer answer: I want to get @djhedy‘s + my convo in Ch 9 of the Podficast up + finish beta'ing an original work by @i-h8-u-no-u-dont (that is SOOOOO good + I’m almost done!) But, I can’t leave you w/out something so here are 2 looooong ones I adore to help you stay sane during the quarantine. Have you already read this? Read them again! They.are.that.good. Look for things you missed the first time around; comment w/extra care. There’s always something to notice in re-reads.

Remember my caveat: any time I recommend works, the expectation for you dear readers is to lavish these writers with your complimentary comments!

Don’t know what to say? Use keysmashes + emojis!Tell them where you are/what you’re eating/what music you’re listening to when you’re reading! Use short phrases to tell them how their work is helping you stave off boredom inside your room/apt/home during this pandemic! What you say doesn’t matter; the act of showing appreciation does.

 playing on by flybbfly (M, 142k, 2018) - There’s a reason this is one of the most recommended JereJean works: it’s so damned good. @wilsherejack writes Exy games exquisitely well, her writing is economical + she knows how to write a slow burn, that’s for sure! Plus, there are playlists for the work and...another favourite aspects of her writing...most of the characters are people of colour.  "Who knew California Golden Boy Jeremy Knox could play dirty?”Jeremy grins. “Best kept secret on the west coast. Told you there was a western division striker who could dispossess you.” “On a practice court, maybe," Jean says. "Try to get it away from me during a game.”Jeremy leans back, bracing himself on gloved hands. “Luckily, I won't ever have to.” In which Jean Moreau and Jeremy Knox play exy, share a dorm room, and accidentally insult each another a lot.

a bicycle made for two (or three) by lazarusthefirst (E, 99k, 2018) -  When artist Jean + his daughter Maddie move into their new apartment, they get be-friended by one of their neighbours, a guy who works in a bar + feels a little lost in his life these days. I fell so hard for this fic that I completely embarrassed myself by gushing at the author who is @thetrojeans on Tumblr. In hindsight, attempting to move into a new apartment on January 2nd had been optimistic at best. For one thing New York was four feet deep in snow, and even the neighbourhood kids with nothing better to do than shovel it for dollars couldn’t keep up. The other hindrance was due to the fact that Santa had been very generous this year, which left Jean standing on a patch of sidewalk he’d kicked clear himself, holding his four year old daughter’s hand and wondering how he was going to get all of their stuff plus the Pink Unicorn Princess Dream House up four flights of stairs without something breaking.

THANK YOU for asking after myself + my loved ones. I’m grateful to report rn all 4 of us are healthy in body + usually in mind too. Starting last week Mr FSC began working from home. Daughters C + H are finishing up college classes online + well-situated in their homes, 2 + 3 states away. Who knows what’s happening for their respective graduations, but they are optimistic, music to a parents’ ears + heart. Weekly FaceTime family dinners are a saving grace. Ditto gardening + seeing birds, kids, cats, dogs + neighbours from inside the house or our yard. Yesterday,  using the magic of FaceTime, I “went on a walk” w/my 98 y.o. Auntie who lives in CA. When I started to ReaLLy FrEaK out dear @pomponia nudged me to write a list of things I cannot control + those I can. It’s helping. I’m sleeping 8-9 hrs a night + worrying not a whit about that. Sometimes I take naps too. Thank goodness for Discord which helps me stay in touch w/dear fandom friends around the world. 

Yes, there is much to fear. 

Yet, as always, there is much to be grateful for. 

I do my best to focus more on the latter + remain steadfastly joyful.

Sometimes it is easy; other times I am frozen on the couch. 

Mostly, it’s one foot in front of the other.

Let’s encourage one another, shall we?

Love to you dear one! ~Cory

[buzzliker]

WOOO IT'S ANOTHER ONE OF THESE!!!!!

this time i really wanted to explain my decisions for the headcannons i've made here, so without further ado; 3, 2, 1, PRIDEYEAR!!

first of all, i hc them both to be Not Completely Cis because as an enby myself it's just. comforting and nice!! plus i think they really fit them imo!! also they're bi and everyone knows it at this point

 doesn't use pet names/loves pet names

we all know buzz. he is awkward as heck and can't form a sentence around any of his love interests he's also shorter than all of them which is adorable. therefore, i think buzz is more likely to skip out on the pet names. woody i think also isn't crazy about them, but if he's ever feeling super-duper affectionate i can totally seem him slipping in a "honey" or "babe" instead of just calling his bf by his name.

 confesses first/waits to be confessed to first

i actually touch upon this a little in my currently-in-the-works prideyear fic, but despite this i actually find this one kind of difficult to explain. i think the progression of their relationship, both canonically in the films as well as romantically if you view them that way is pretty all-over-the-place, but ultimately beautiful. i think that they both have doubts about how the other feels about them, whether they seem them as just a friend or more than that, and so on. that doesn't stop them from getting huge silly crushes on each other, though. to put a long (toy) story short, i'd like to think that woody had a sort of love-at-first-sight moment when he first saw buzz standing on andy's bed back in 1995, and by getting to know him afterwards his inner morosexual was Awakened. buzz had his own Awakening when he held woody as they flew together, like wow this cowboy is CUTE, and those feelings he had developed while he was away from and trying to rescue woody in ts2.absence makes the heart grow fonder (i was just listening to this song as i wrote this so here go stream all of pogo's music). across the next few movies they fall harder for each other, but they get increasingly more worried about what others, and each other will think. it will definitely end in them awkwardly and emotionally confessing around the same time, the details of which i'm going to write/cover in the fic once i stop procrastinating and finish it ;'D

 big spoon/little spoon

Y'all Can Fight Me On This. i'm sorry fdjfhgdg it's just perfect ok???? look into mr lightyear's beautiful blue painted eyes and tell me he does not radiate Extreme Big Spoon Energy and vice-versa for mr pride that is all

 gives gifts/does favours

idk man i just feel like buzz is actually quite intuitive to his friends' interests and would be the kind to get them really nice and meaningful gifts!! woody always goes red and/or just Sobs whenever buzz springs a surprise gift on him like i can totally see him jumping out of the window of andy/bonnie's room to get woody that flower from across the road that says something Extraordinarily Mushy in flower language. on the other hand, i just see woody as more of a favour doer in general, but his actions are always sincere, as he loves to helps others, whether they be toys or kids in need.

 likes formal dates/likes casual hang-out dates

buzz is super uncomfy with anything too formal unless it's to do with star command, so like,,,,,, he'd 100% definitely be for a casual date, especially with woody. unless he's in spanish mode, in which case we'd probably get the full candlelit dinner with a mariachi band that's actually just mr pricklepants and the aliens singing really offkey over bonnie's radio. woody also, he's the king of movie nights and other soft casual dates, he just always seems to have the perfect idea of where to go and what to do! prideyear just have soft domestic gay energy in this essay i will

 introverted/extroverted

woody to me, is definitely an extrovert, a good leader, and fairly outgoing. he gets exhausted at times and needs his alone time for sure, but he feels at his happiest when with his loved ones and making them happy because he is a wholesome man! he's also just very tactful and good with words, and loves to be surrounded by others, even if it takes him a while to understand the true meaning of the bonds he has with the other toys as well as just andy. they're a family, after all ;; i think buzz is an ambivert or maybe even an introvert though, as he's much more socially awkward, and to me he seems like more of the type to lose himself in thought and dissociate more often, perhaps over silly things. still, he's absolutely a leader in his own right though, but as we've seen he prefers to be second-in-command to woody more often, but will step up to first position if needed. that's probably also why he gave jessie the leadership role at the end of toy story 4 instead of buzz bc he understood buzz's needs HH this is literally just me, the textbook example of an introvert, indulging in comfort headcannons now so let's keep going!

 affectionate via actions/affectionate via words

 buzz turns into a flustered, stuttering mess around his love interests, while woody is certainly more of a smooth talker. also, you can't tell me that when buzz gets closer to people, he doesn't give REALLY lovely soft gentle hugs. both woody's words of wisdom/affection/praise and buzz's small gestures of affection are just as soft and warm and appreciated by the other as each other!!! it's nice to have the best of both worlds :)

 carefreree/serious

 it really depends on the situation?? like they both have the capacity to be strong and serious leaders or complete and utter GOOFBALLS but i guess if you're looking at their personalities as a whole they're mostly serious?? unless spanish mode again fjdgfghf

 affectionate when alone/pda central baby

 woody tends to be more private about his affection, and plus his being more of a verbal guy means he's just generally hopeless at pda. he's trying tho. buzz on the other hand, and speaking of hand he will hold woody's forever, is just always touching woody like?? it's literally canon too?? buzz is just like :) that;s my bf right there and he mine and woody is like.*infinity of blushy emojis* i love them so so much

 slow burn/love at first sight

 LITERALLY NOBODY CAN DISAGREE WITH ME HERE like i mentioned earlier you just can't tell me that woody didn't fall head over snake-filled boots for buzz the MOMENT he saw him standing there on andy's bed. you just can't. again, like i mentioned earlier, it takes slightly longer for buzz's feelings to truly emerge bc he is awkward and i love him

 straightforward texts/emoji spam and keyboard smashing

 i think they're both pretty straightforward when it comes to texting tbh. though they both can't resist the odd heart/star emoji, and once jessie taught woody how to keysmash and buzz thought he had been possessed

 lends hoodies & clothes/borrows hoodies & clothes

 picture woody snuggling into one of buzz's baggy green hoodies that's like a million sizes too big for him but so. so Comfy and reminds him of his wonderful bf so what's not to lose?? buzz doesn't mind his clothes going mysteriously missing, because he usually finds them again finds them again on a peacefully sleeping woody later and then they CUDDLE god i love them

 that's it!!! thank you so much for reading this far about my Prideyear Feelings haha, i have about 7 million fic ideas after writing this but gottta finish my first prideyear fic before that haha ':)

gay rights!

[gratiasancti]

100 PERSONAL QUESTIONS

because @ineffablequestion​ decided to really put my patience to the test today . not that i mind , ily .

1. What is your middle name ?

maria 

2. How old are you ?

23 as of right now !

3. When is your birthday?

oct. 19th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

libra waddup

5. What is your favorite color?

i don’t really have one ? muted colours probably

6. What’s your lucky number?

again, can’t say i have one but maybe 29

7. Do you have any pets?

a dod and a horse

8. Where are you from?

finland / uk

9. How tall are you?

174 cm

10. What shoe size are you?

eu 39-40

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

like seven, if you don’t count my collection of riding shoes and boots. oxfords, brogues, wellies, trainers, and the rest are probably heels. as for riding boots, a lot.

12. What was your last dream about?

that i was late from work and got thrown in a tar pit because of it. and then i sold my old history teacher 500€ worth of alcohol and lottery tickets.

13. What talents do you have?

none?? unlimited sarcasm, idk

14. Are you psychic in any way?

i’m not sure if i believe in this stuff

15. Favorite song?

honestly, anything from hippo campus or glass animals.

16. Favorite movie?

the grand budapest hotel

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who counteracts some of my anxiety and excitedness with a calm and, when needed, firm character but is still funny and can be themselves. preferably someone who i feel is my intellectual equal, and we can share everything with each other. maybe a bit older than myself, but not by much. other than that, i really don’t care.

18. Do you want children?

currently, i can’t see myself ever having kids. just doesn’t seem like my thing. especially babies. maybe adopting or fostering could be an option, but only if i was sure i could give the child a good home.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i don’t think i want to get married

20. Are you religious?

not particularly

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

maaaaaaany times. multiple riding accidents, broken bones, a car crash. then just being an idiot in general. and chronic back problems.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

apart from once forgetting to pay for the underground and getting an 80€ fine, no.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

i’ve met and had dinner with two different finnish presidents and some other ‘upper class’ people but other than that, no. 

24. Baths or showers?

one of those rain shower things

25. What color socks are you wearing?

i have no socks !!!

26. Have you ever been famous?

uhhhh not in the literal sense of the word but i’ve been infamous at school when i was like 15. made a meme of one of our teachers that went low key viral in our city.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

definitely not in the hollywood sense of things. 

28. What type of music do you like?

a lot of things. anything, really, depending on the time of day and if i’m feeling particularly emo.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

that’s like the only type of swimming finnish people partake in. naked in the sauna, naked in the lake/ocean. so yes, multiple times a year jhdsnhb

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

currently like five

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

either on my back or on my stomach. depends on what place hurts that day lmao.

32. How big is your house?

closer to 400 m^2 . i still live with my parents but will move into my own flat in six months, once it’s ready. that’s going to be appx 70 m^2.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i know its a bad habit but i often dont have breakfast. if i do it's usually fruit and yoghurt or some toast.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

yes

35. Have you ever tried archery?

yes. fun fact; my cousin has won the european championchip ( in some form of archery idk ) like twice , i think. 

36. Favorite clean word?

defenestrate

37. Favorite swear word?

fuck. i use it Too Much™

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

can’t remember the exact amount of hours but we were sailing and our shifts got messed up to the point where i had either not slept at all or slept so little in like four days i was genuinely hallucinating. almost jumped into the sea because i thought i dropped my life vest,,, which i was wearing.

39. Do you have any scars?

a few. dumbest one probably when i rode in my shorts but used a saddle and rubbed the skin off of my calf. also from hay work, those little dots that look almost like moles.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

not that i know of

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, unfortunately. it’s a bad habit in the sense that i tell a lot of white lies when i could genuinely tell the truth with no consequence. like, it would be the one and the same.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

also yes. i’ve seen some shit. also i have surprisingly good people skills.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i can speak english in my normal accent which is kind of queen’s english (?) upper class idk, then in world’s english ( so basically no accent / neutral ) and then in finnish (rally) english .  i can also speak swedish with a rikssvenska (standard swedish ???) accent and then finlandssvenska which is finnish swedish (and an actual thing lmao). also i can butcher a norwegian or danish accent in swedish if i really try. my finnish is very neutral, but it does vary a bit depending on what city i’m in.

oh, and also a shitty southern american accent. 

44. Do you have a strong accent?

if i let it shine through, yes, but i tend toward world english because anything else scares finns. but when i speak finnish (which is most of the time) i don’t really have an accent. maybe you can hear that i’m not 100% finnish but that’s about it.

45. What is your favorite accent?

i don’t really have one ! all accents are really fascinating.

46. What is your personality type?

entj-a

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

i have a few expensive dresses, and then of course my riding clothes which cost ridiculous amounts of money because fuck everyone who likes horses, i guess. like excuse me but why is it normalised that you pay over 1000€ for a helmet??? anything less and you’re a peasant.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

mmmmyeah. 

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie!

50. Left or right handed?

pretty much ambidextrous, though i prefer to write with my left but do everything else mostly with my right. my handwriting doesn’t differ too much from left to write.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

yes. ew. and we’re lucky to only have tiny ones in finland !

52. Favorite food?

ummmmm. currently carelian pie maybe?? idk such a good snack.

53. Favorite foreign food?

squints??? sushi????

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

depends. often too lazy to clean but incredibly stressed and uncomfortable when its messy. meticulous about all the wrong things.

55. Most used phrase?

either some form of keysmash or “FUCK”. also in finnish either “voi jumalauta” or “voi saatana” which both basically translate to “jesus fucking christ”.

56. Most used word?

also fuck. this really must say something about me smdh.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

really depends. sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes two hours. on a normal day w/ shower and moderate make up, 15-25 minutes.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

depends really. i hope i don’t!

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

whomst the FUCK bites lollipops ?!?!?!

60. Do you talk to yourself?

i’ve only recently started. it’s terrifying.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

when driving if i’m listening to music, yeah

62. Are you a good singer?

honestly, no clue. i don’t really sing in front of people so i haven’t gotten opinions.

63. Biggest Fear?

failure.

64. Are you a gossip?

not about my friends, ever. but i will definitely listen to any tea you want to spill.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk does kingsman count as dramatic?? the first one was hilarious.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

both have their perks!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

LMAO i can name like 3 if i really try.

68. Favorite school subject?

history, english lang & lit, economics.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

extrovert but i get tired easily

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

yes ! we go to the maldives once in a while, because finland doesn’t offer much in terms of diving sites.

71. What makes you nervous?

not a lot of things? i guess some responsibilities. things left for me to do even if someone else was supposed to do them.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

a dark room ? no. a dark forest at midnight ? hell yess. finnish winter darkness is terrifying simply because its so depressing. seasonal depression is real yall.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends. if it’s a trivial mistake and they haven’t asked to be corrected, no. if it makes me or someone else feel bad or just makes any situation worse, then yes. but never unkindly.

74. Are you ticklish?

YES. ugh

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

no. i can’t recall doing so, at least. but i have participated in spreading them.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

yes. at work a couple of times simply out of necessity and also when i took part in MEP. was committee president twice and president of the general assembly once. though idk if that counts since i was like 17 and its all p much play pretend.

oh! and also when i captain our boat. but again, idk if that counts.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeah, ever since i was like 16 :/

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no, and never will. not my thing !!

79. Who was your first real crush?

probably a boy from class. i can’t remember, really. i’ve never been too  ‘romantically inclined’ i  suppose.

80. How many piercings do you have?

just my ears, once.

81. Can you roll your Rs?

almost every r in the finnish language is technically rolled so yeah. i feel bad for those finnish people who cant !! makes everything so hard.

82. How fast can you type?

according to this thing 75 words per minute on my first try, so idk how accurate that is.

83. How fast can you run?

not fast. i  hate running, and am very out of practice. 

84. What color is your hair?

idk ? like, light brown ?

85. What color are your eyes?

again, idk. blue/green/grey

86. What are you allergic to?

dogs, cats, birch, and almost anything that flowers in the spring jshbdsjh

87. Do you keep a journal?

not a journal per se but i have a ‘little black book’ which i keep rather meticulously about my thoughts on the day, important things i need to remember, my expenses etc. a habit inherited from my dad. i’ve gone through like six of these in the past few years.

88. What do your parents do?

my mum is a mayor and my dad is a ceo

89. Do you like your age?

yeah !

90. What makes you angry?

injustice.

91. Do you like your own name?

yes !

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

ksjdsjhb no. at this rate i’d end up naming a child crowley or sum shit

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i don’t want kids but if i did gender would be a non issue

94. What are you strengths?

lmao i have good people skills, work well under pressure, get along with everyone, am determined and ?? a good leader??? idk

95. What are your weaknesses?

i take on too much responsibility, i have anxiety and depression, i get frustrated at my own failures, i’m very self-critical and unforgiving. also no self-control when it comes to rp.

96. How did you get your name?

i think somewhere from my dad’s side, not entirely sure.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

possibly? not sure. but fun fact! a great great grandmother (? or something of the sorts) from my mother’s side actually survived the sinking of the titanic.

98. Do you have any scars?

wasn’t this asked already?

99. Color of your bedspread?

this blue mandala like pattern idk

100. Color of your room?

white and a very mellow blue

[sugarless-suki-writes]

Panic

Rating: T Word Count: 2,998

Read on Ao3

Support me on Ko-Fi!

More vent, yay;;;;

Appearance are based on my sona

CW/TW: Stalking, Identity Crisis

(Left to Right: Suki, Plum & Bug. Art by @bitter-plum-art

As soon as Suki walked through the door, they made direct eye contact with him. They kept their expression stoic, quickly turning into the hallway and walking towards the sever's station. They didn’t know he’d be working tonight. They should’ve. He always worked weekends. Their stomach started to knot, a hard ball forming in the pit of their stomach as their hands began to shake.

The Hanged Man, See No Evil.

Their jaw set as their fangs dug into the skin of their lip. What utter bullshit.... What kind of cryptic bullshit was that? What did he think sending them a weird, cryptic, “poetic” message would do? And to send one to the other two? Suki didn’t care for that, not at all....

With a sigh, they walked up to the front, greeting their friends and coworkers as they set their bag down, then proceeded to head towards the back once more to get dressed.

The uniform was easy to put on, and they did it quickly. They then went into the server’s station to make themselves a drink, a cucumber water; they were trying to get better about drinking water and cut back on their soda/caffeine intake.

Their hands were trembling.

As they plopped the cucumbers in the glass and reached for the ice scoop, they heard the dish bin get slammed down and a chill ran down their spine as they felt eyes on them.

He was there.

They didn’t dare turn around.

Thankfully he didn’t stick around to stare but so long. Once they felt his eyes leave, Suki turned around to fill their glass with water. They almost dropped the glass in the sink.

Their head was pounding, their stomach was doing flips, and they felt like they could puke.

They set the water down on the table in the server’s station and ripped the paper off of a straw, sticking it in and casually tossing the paper to the side, towards the trash can. They took a long sip before reaching for the pill bottle on the counter, pressing down on the cap and unscrewing it. The grabbed two excedrin and then closed the bottle. Taking another sip of water, they popped the pills in their mouth and swallowed. The orthodontist today was rough, they didn’t need creepy stalker man on top of it. At least they could kill their headache.

They took another sip of water, soothing the strange feeling in their throat. It was still new to them to swallow pills; they still had to fight off the innate fear that tried desperately to claw its way to the surface. Why their preschool teachers thought it was a good idea to give four year olds hard candy, they would never understand. But at least now they were working past it.

Suki made their way back up to the front, just in time for their first table to walk in. A 5 top. Great. Seems like this is how their Friday night was going to go.

Once they were seated, Suki greeted them warmly. Two of the five were still on their way, but they all wanted water, and 3 iced coffees. Easy. They went to the back and put in the iced coffee orders and grabbed a tray. They set everything up before making the waters and bringing them out to the table. Once that was done, they went back into the kitchen, walking to the sushi bar and grabbing the three containers that held the coffee grounds.

Eyes.

They made quick work of walking back to the sever’s station. They uncapped the coffee and poured the grounds into the brewer and poured hot water into all three. They then turned around to make three glasses of ice, for the coffee.

Eyes.

Pressure.

Presence.

Stop stop stop stop stop.

Once the glasses were done, Suki turned around and, lo and behold, there he was. He was pretending to look at the coffee they were brewing. Suki slid past him, trying to keep some form of distance from him in the confined space, but he had started to turn around, making the space smaller and almost touching them. They did their best to not grimace, focusing on getting their tray prepped.

They could see him out of the corner of their eyes, taking his time putting ice in his cup, moving so much slower than usual. Standing in front of the soda machine and just staring.

Eyes. Eyes. Eyes.

The Hanged Man, See No Evil.

Suki was quick to walk out of the sever’s station, plastering a warm, welcoming, fake smile on their face.

Their customers were nice. Suki wished they could enjoy them....

It shouldn’t be like this. They shouldn’t have this overwhelming sense of dread coming into their place of work. They felt safer walking the downtown city streets alone at night than in their own workplace.

Every single male/male-presenting person they had interacted with/met lately had just been... awful. Of course, male-presenting people always set off at least one or two red flags, they all did. Every single one of them. That was normal, even though it shouldn’t be. You just have to ignore them before you can properly judge a person. That’s what they did with this guy.

He set off some flags. The three of them thought he might just be weird. Nothing wrong with weird. He barely talked. Could barely make eye contact with them. They talked about DND one night, and so he made a Discord account so he could join in a campaign.

That’s when it started. He friended Suki and Bug, but did absolutely nothing with Plum. He started messaging Suki. Just a sentence a night. Never replied to anything Suki said. One night, he sent them a compliment. Being polite, they thanked him. Then they changed their hair. It was the first time they had ever dyed it. They were so excited.

They came in to do the numbers for the restaurant that night, and as they were leaving, one of the managers walking with them, as he always did. (Previous employees had been attacked at night, so he went out with all the servers to make sure they got to their cars safe). They turned to wish the others a good night. He looked up, said some garbled nonsense, not even really words, something akin to a verbal keysmash, and went back to the dishes. Their manager laughed his fucking ass off. Suki simply raised an eyebrow as they furrowed together and let out a weird chuckle, mostly laughing because their manager was losing his mind and that always made them laugh.

“What was that?” he had asked as they walked out the door, before it had even closed behind them.

“I have no idea.”

That night he sent them a message, saying he was “taken aback”. It had made them slightly uncomfortable but they said thank you anyway. In all honesty, they thought it was kind of funny. Did he have a crush? After only talking to them a grand total of 5 times, each of those times just being one sentence from the both of them? They had to admit, it was a little ridiculous.

Then he had asked them out to lunch, and Suki was just... taken aback. It was unexpected. They... barely knew each other? He couldn’t even look them in the eye. They meant to reply, they really did, but they just kept forgetting, and every way they tried to phrase it in their head just sounded mean so they just.... didn’t.

The bell in the back dinged, drawing Suki out of their thoughts. Their food was ready. They let out a huff and stood up from the server’s table and walked towards the back. One roll combo and four dinner combos, three of which had tempura. This was gonna be fun to bring out...

They grabbed a tray and started to set two of the bento boxes on it, the ones that were ready. They had to finagle with it a bit, trying to find space to put the tempura sauce.

Pressure.

Presence.

Eyes.

He walked up behind them and stood there. They were off to the side, leaving the small walkway clear. He could’ve easily walked by. Out of the corner of their left eyes they could see him flipping the dish bin. Why wasn’t he walking by?

Stop staring stop staring stop staring stop staring stop staring stop staring stop staring stOP STARING STOP STARING STOP STARING!!!!

They finished putting what they could on the tray, picked it up along with another box with their other hand, and walked out of the kitchen.

He followed right behind.

Suki plastered a smile on their face.

It shouldn’t be like this... They shouldn’t feel scared to be in the back, thinking this fucking freak is going to come up and shank them if they weren’t careful. Their chef shouldn’t have to be waiting by the bathroom everytime he goes, holding a knife and waiting for him to come out with a gun. These complete, asinine, awful, insane and downright predatory interactions they’ve been having with men shouldn’t be making them question their sexuality, their gender.

For a while now, a couple months at least, Suki had been questioning their gender. They had never really felt comfortable in their body, and whether that was from all the bullying or the dysphoria.. that was something they figured a therapist could help them with, whenever they had the time to find one. But now.... they weren’t sure.

Maybe I’m not nonbinary.

I don’t want to come across masculine in any way.

I don’t want to be associated with them.

Maybe I’m cis.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe.....

They had talked about it recently, on the ride home from work one night with Plum and Bug. Maybe part of the problem was they still thought along the lines of the binary - viewing being nonbinary as some sort of in between of masculine and feminine, male and female. But could they really be blamed? It’s how they were raised to think. It’s what society wanted. It’s how things were and they weren’t going to change so quickly over night, not here, not now, especially not in the south, where they lived.

Either way, all these interactions were making them question everything about themselves. Sure, Suki had never been the fondest of men in the first place; they’d only been in two relationships, both with men, both abusive, one long term and recent and still a very much open, festering wound.

Men made them uncomfortable.

Men pushed their boundaries.

Men hurt them one too many times.

Men were borderline repulsive at this point.

Maybe I’m a lesbian...

Maybe I should start identifying as that.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe.

The night dragged on. He continued to come to the server’s station. Suki’s trembling never ceased; it slowed, but it never stopped. They came close to dropping glasses and dishes and trays multiple times. They bought food, hoping that would be the solution, but he came back so many times. He checked the dishes more often. He made small, very small trips to return the dishes to their proper places, trips he could’ve easily, and usually would condense, he continued to fill up his drink as slow as possible, and more frequently than normal.

Suki couldn’t eat.

They didn’t feel comfortable.

They didn’t feel safe.

The Hanged Man, See No Evil.

After Suki’s silence, he latched onto Bug. He posted music, raps specifically, in the group chat they had, and he messaged Bug whenever they worked together, just like he had with Suki. It was funny. The raps were terrible; the beats were okay, but his voice and lyrics were just... Let’s just say it sent the trio off to other planes of existence.

As he messaged Bug, he got aspects of the three of them confused, mixing them into one being and projecting them onto Bug. While Bug did take dance classes, they never mentioned them at work, Suki had, multiple times, loudly. Plum plays the cello. Both Plum and Bug draw. He once complimented Bug on how artistic they were, thinking it was crazy that they “dance, play the cello, and draw.” It was hilariously bad. A poor attempt. They laughed about it for days.

Eventually, he asked Bug out as well. Bug, of course, turned them down. They were very polite about it. He sent an odd... poetic message that made no sense. Then, the next day, he posted a new rap in the chat, that had other people in it as well, it was their group’s DnD chat afterall.

It was a diss rap.

He mentioned them by name, twice.

He talked about murder.

It wasn’t so funny anymore.

The red flags grew larger, brighter, blaring.

They laughed nervously and weren’t too eager to go into their next shift after that.

He later sent Bug another song, this time to their DMs. It was their name in all caps. After writing, creating, and posting such an angry, hateful, terrifying track in a public group chat, he made a song about how they were meant to be but there was *~*something*~* between them and keeping them apart. They told him his songs were making them uncomfortable. They weren’t as nice that time. They had to be blunt. They told him to stop.

A couple days later, at 4 a.m., he sent all three of them his final messages and, supposedly, deleted Discord.

They blocked him just to be safe.

They couldn’t take any risks.

They’ve been through this before, multiple times.

They knew what to do.

They knew what needed to be done.

It shouldn’t be like this.

They shouldn’t have to put up with this.

Suki shoved back any feeling of dread, anxiety, panic - they had a job to do. They needed to push through. They couldn’t afford to have a panic attack. They couldn’t show any sign of weakness. Not around him. They’d been through this before. They knew how to deal with stalkers. They’d had three in the past. They just needed to push down the panic. They needed to ignore it. She needed....

The end of the night couldn’t come quickly enough. When it did, Suki was grateful. They sat down with their receipts, doing their readings and chatting idly with Plum, Bug, and Hail. Once all their stuff was done and they were clocked out, they sat at the server’s table. They wanted to speak to their manager, but they needed to wait for him to leave.

They sat there, quietly, on their phones as they waited. It was nice. It was peaceful. It was what they needed after today.

“Alright, hope y’all have a good night.”

His voice made their stomach drop. A pain, sharp like a knife, twisted into Suki’s heart as fear and dread and panic and terror gripped them in an instant. They didn’t look up. They couldn’t. They continued to scroll through Twitter.

When had he walked up?

She didn’t hear him.

She heard him walk away though, his footsteps heavy against the laminate floor. He was probably pissed he got no response.

Drama queen.

He was a big drama queen. He thought he was an important figure in their lives. How could he be though? They only knew him for, cumulatively, 2 days. The only thing he had done was made the three of them nervous around white cars and fill them with dread when they came in to work at night. One could argue that that was an impact, but it was nothing new to the trio. They’d been stalked before, multiple times. They had a restraining order on someone. They knew what needed to be done.

They shouldn’t have to know.

It wasn’t long before their manager was done with his side work and he was joining them at the front of the restaurant. They then proceeded to tell him everything in great detail. He didn’t emote as they talked, voicing their concerns and Suki trying to keep themself calm and in check.

“In his message to me, he told me that he could handle a no, but not silence. Clearly he can’t handle a no, seeing as he wrote a diss track about Bug when they politely, politely, turned him down.”

Once they were all done, he sat there for a moment before shaking his head. “Man, I wish y’all had told me before he left!”

“We wanted to wait until he was gone. This isn’t our first rodeo, we know what we need to do to stay safe.” Plum said.

“Yeah, yeah I know. But man, I wish I had known. I’d’ve went and “talked” to him. You know...” He didn’t use air quotes, but they were implied in his tone. “Y’all... You guys know we’re all like family around here. We’re close. I’m here to look out for ya. I’ll talk with Billiford about it. We’ll take care of this.”

“Yeah, I talked to Billium before he left, but I couldn’t say too much cause he just kept walking by.” Plum said. “He said he was going to talk to you so..”

“Yeah, I’ll remind him. I’ll make sure to remind him. Man... maaan I really wish y’all had told me earlier.”

“We don’t want you killing a man.” Bug said with a laugh.

“I’d bail you out.” Suki said immediately.

“I think we all would.” Timothy replied, taking a pull from his “addiction stick” as he referred to it.

They chatted for a bit longer before they all walked out. The parking lot was desolate and Suki felt themselves breathe a little easier. Their manager walked the three of them to their car and watched as they got in. They then began to make their way home, keeping an eye out for white cars.

The Hanged Man, See No Evil.

[shift-shaping]

dwc: 📚 library sex for Solas and Surana :)

Glimpses: A Quiet Evening Alone

@dadrunkwriting

Rating: M

Genre: Romance

Verse: Confessions of a Teacher’s Pet

Pairing: Solas x Surana

Warnings: Teacher x student, age gap

Lonely, emotionally conflicted, and chronically anxious, Eirwen hides away deep in the recesses of her school’s library. But her own thoughts invade her privacy, and she finds herself unable to resist testing the boundaries of her relationship with the professor she’s pining over. 

Eirwen stretched back over the armrest of the old leather chair and yawned deeply. The arms were too high for her to sit on it naturally, so she laid across it lengthwise like a bed. As her back straightened, the pile of books and papers in her lap fell to the floor in a heap. She groaned and sank back into the chair, glaring at her fallen study material as if it had betrayed her.

She’d been reading for hours, trying to get as much information into her brain as possible before her test in two days. It seemed so close, uncomfortably close, and her quiz grades left her feeling unprepared. As a mage and an elf, she was on a short leash at the university, and her athletic scholarship was dependent on her maintaining a 3.7 GPA or above -essentially all As, with only a few very minor mistakes allowed.

As of last semester she had a 3.9, but doing poorly in her Genetics class could put her in serious jeopardy. She was an excellent student, she knew that, but every good grade she had was earned after dealing with anti-mage and anti-elf prejudice from almost every professor she had. 

It had been a long time since she took a break, though. She sat in the depths of the library, tucked away into a corner she was confident few knew about. If she could muster up the motivation she could go get something to eat, but she was too anxious and too tired for that.

With a soft grunt she reached down and pulled her phone from her pile of things on the floor. The little blue light blinked incessantly, and when she woke it up she saw she had a new text. 

[4:14pm] Hahren: I prefer bodyweight work. It requires little space and minimal equipment.

She raised an eyebrow, scrolling up briefly to remember how they got on to this discussion. That naturally made her recall what she’d been thinking about before she buried herself in her work: her philosophy professor’s incredible arms. 

Earlier that day he’d worn a button-down shirt and pulled up the sleeves, revealing his tight, well-muscled forearms. Eirwen couldn’t take her eyes off them, thoroughly distracting her from whatever the lesson was supposed to be. They were already more than just a teacher and student -they messaged each other frequently, spent over an hour in his office most afternoons, and often went out for lunch or coffee together. He even helped her calm down when she was having a panic or anxiety attack. 

Whatever they were, it only made her attraction to him worse.

She shifted in her seat and looked around, a horrible idea worming its way into her head. She really was alone here, and it was so quiet in the library. Maybe she could use a quick distraction, just something to satiate her mind for a couple of minutes before returning to work.

Since realizing her attraction to him, Eirwen had developed a neat and tidy string of content for her horribly inappropriate mind. First there were pictures, mostly men in dress shirts and women in schoolgirl outfits. Stupid, but it helped. She had a folder of pictures on her phone that went from vaguely sexual to fully nude and definitively pornography. This time she only intended to look at the less explicit shots, the ones that could hopefully feed her curiosity without requiring her to take action. 

If only she had pictures of him. That would be creepy, super creepy, but Maker she would love being able to look at him whenever she wanted. He was so handsome, so frustratingly kind and wise and sweet that she found herself longing for him far more often than she should. She could almost picture him right now, walking toward her, finding her in this quiet corner of the library and just kissing her when she least expected it.

Thinking about him like that was so wrong. So inappropriate. No matter how much time they spent together, no matter how many times he complimented her hair or gulped when he saw her in a short skirt or held her gaze for just a second too long, he was still ultimately her teacher.

But he was so handsome. And his arms looked so strong. She imagined him pinning her to her seat, muscles flexing as he looked deep into her eyes. Then he would crash his lips into hers, his free hand moving under her back to hold her close to him. 

She imagined his fingers, soft and strong, sliding up her back to unhook her bra. His lips looked so kissable, so warm and inviting, and feeling them on the bare skin of her neck would surely drive her wild. She’d have to be quiet, even as he slipped his tongue against her neck, his voice low and teasing as he reminded her where they were.

She squeezed her eyes shut and let her head roll back, feeling her nipples harden in her shirt and wetness surge between her legs. Damn her imagination. She couldn’t do this here, not where someone could theoretically walk in on her. 

She covered her warm face and groaned inwardly, her ears drooping in frustration. This was a disaster -she was a disaster. She had to decide whether she wanted to do something or nothing, whether she would let this burn or fade away. No matter what, it couldn’t simmer like this.

So she took a deep breath and made a bad decision.

[7:38pm] Me: Are you busy tonight?

[7:43pm] Hahren: Is something wrong?

She frowned -why did he have to be so sweet all the time?

[7:44pm] Me: Not exactly. I could just use some company and a study break. Have you eaten dinner yet?

[7:45pm] Hahren: No. Why?

[7:46pm] Me: Want to get something quick with me? I can buy it.

It was a long time before he answered her, long enough that she put her phone down and, defeated, went back to her work. She could hardly concentrate though, and only got through two sentences before her phone buzzed again. Naturally, she picked it up so fast she almost dropped her books again.

[8:03pm] Hahren: No need. They don’t pay us so little I cannot afford a meal. Should we meet somewhere?

Her heart almost stopped, and she had to read the message at least three times before she could process it. She didn’t know what she was expecting with that, but it definitely wasn’t this. If she had to bet on this exchange she would have expected a shaky no, something that suggested he wanted to but also knew he couldn’t. 

But this was entirely out of her realm of possibility. She had to answer him; she didn’t think she’d get this far. 

[8:06pm] Me: How close are you to campus? I’m at the library.

[8:08pm] Hahren: Not far. I can pick you up. Do you have a restaurant in mind?

She wracked her brain for an answer that wasn’t embarrassing. Most of the places she ate at were mostly vegetarian, if not entirely, and they were probably pretentious enough for him.

[8:10pm] Me: There’s a place on Piroette that makes incredible veggie burgers. They put eggplant in them. Any interest?

[8:11pm] Hahren: Sure, sounds good. I’ll be outside the library in about twenty minutes. Will you be ready by then?

[8:11pm] Me: Mind if I bring my books?

[8:12pm] Hahren: Hah, what kind of teacher would I be if I did?

Her heart skipped and she sank down in her chair again, eyes wide. This was really happening. She swallowed hard and typed up a quick response, trying to keep herself from panicking.

[8:13pm] Me: A shit one. I’ll see you soon then, hahren.

[8:14pm] Hahren: See you soon, Ms. Surana.

With a slow, deliberate movement, Eirwen put the phone down on top of her backpack and crossed her arms over her lap. This was really happening. It was just a quick dinner, just burgers and fries, but it was still dinner and he was going to pick her up. 

As she shifted to pack her things, she realized with an annoyed frown that her fantasies earlier had made her far more aroused than intended. Fantastic. She was meeting her professor for dinner while absolutely drenched from thoughts of him making out with her. This could only go well. 

if you enjoyed this fic, please hit the reblog button on this post. comments are cool but not necessary -you can leave no tags, a keysmash, or even just 'nice' if you'd like! thanks for your support -arden

[shift-shaping]

prompt - modern AU stripper surana giving Solas a lap dance, he *greatly* approves

Glimpses: Lonely Elf in the Corner

Rating: M

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Solas x Surana

Warnings: Mention of sex work

This work is part of a series. { I II }

“You seem off tonight.” Solas looked up, drawn from his stupor by a tall, thin woman in dark high heels and a tight-fitting velvet dress. He’d know her voice anywhere, and her body from any angle. Eirwen wore a curious, almost-concerned expression even as she stepped back to let another dancer pass. “I mean, you’re usually pretty weird, but you’re, like, extra dissociative.”

He sighed and shook his head, not bothering to force a smile. “Ir abelas, da’len. I have been better.”

She eyed his suit, noting how he’d already loosened his tie and apparently hadn’t ironed his shirt recently. “Anything I can help with?” He didn’t answer her at first, then nodded. 

“Perhaps. A Boulevardier. No -two.”

“You- wow, you don’t usually get bourbon this early. You know it’s only nine, right?”

He chuckled softly. “I am aware of the time, yes. Please, da’len, you know I tip well.” She nodded and left him for the bar, more concerned than she’d like to be about his state of mind. They were dance partners, that’s all. Casual acquaintances. They owed each other nothing, and she certainly had no business worrying about him. 

But in their practices, usually before her work or on her days off, they were close. For a few short hours they were the only people in the room, and she could dance for an audience of one. There was something at once both intimate and isolating in those quiet moments, in the way he held her when he dipped her low or how his chest felt pressed to hers. 

He was always so professional with her, so restrained. Though he never had a problem touching her, he was stone-faced and silent while the music played -unless he was giving her instructions. And mostly, it was perfect. She didn’t want to do this for him, she wanted it for herself. He was there to help her get what she wanted and nothing more. 

Still, the subtle pain in his eyes made him more. They could be friends. They could be more.

With her almost-instinctual flirtatious smile she returned to him, carrying a tray of drinks. “Two Boulevardiers, for the lonely elf in the corner.”

He rolled his eyes but thanked her. “This is hardly a corner. I am in the center of the room.”

“Yeah, but the quiet part.” She paused, watching him down his cocktail far too fast to enjoy it. “What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing that concerns you,” he replied, his voice flat and clear.

“Oh, okay, ouch.”

“I did not mean…” He sighed heavily and sat back in his chair. “There is no need to burden you. It will not affect our dancing, or how much I pay you.”

She said nothing after that, just replayed his words in her head. Somehow, she tended to forget about the money. He paid her handsomely for her time, for every practice. He always bought dinner if they went out, and tipped her highly whenever he was at the club. That, she knew, had to complicate their relationship. 

“A private dance,” he said suddenly, and she pulled herself from her trance to look at him. 

“Yeah, we do that a lot.”

“No. You know what kind I mean.” He was almost done with his second drink. She watched him, eyes flicking between his glass and his face. “In a private room.”

“Oh!” She blinked, surprised both at herself for being so oblivious and at him for asking at all. He’d never asked for a private dance, he never even stayed close to the stage. He was more the type to hang back nearer the bar, watching, drinking, occasionally chatting up a waitress or two. “Of course. Now?”

He hesitated a moment, finished his drink, then nodded with a cringe. “You have… very strong cocktails here.”

“You ordered very strong cocktails.” She crossed her arms and watched him stand with a slight wobble. “Solas, come on. You’re being… weird.”

“I will be fine,” he said, attempting a lighter tone. “I will have a Bone Dry Martini, then just water.”

“I… seriously?”

He smirked sideways at her and she sighed. “Alright. Go to the private rooms in the back, tell the bouncer Eirwen sent you. I’ll meet you there shortly with your drink.” He nodded and stood, walking with surprising coordination towards a large human bouncer standing outside a long and narrow hallway.

She got him his drink and joined him in a sizable, curtained-off room with a red velvet couch and small black tables at either end. He glanced up when she walked in, smiling distantly. 

As she set his drink down she gently pushed him back again the seat, using one finger on his shoulder. “Whatever this is… you are sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“It is better not to. Besides,” he eyed her, blue eyes sweeping down her slim figure. “I am here for you tonight, da’len.”

She raised an eyebrow and laughed, her voice soft. “For me? I’m flattered. Are you not always here for me?” She saw how his gaze faltered, locking on her hips for a moment before he forced them back to her eyes. 

“I misspoke. You are right.” He sipped his martini and loosened his tie even more, eyes narrowing. “I am always here for you.”

“Good.” She eased herself into his lap, one knee on either side of him. “Do you know the rules?”

“No touching.” He smirked. “I would never.”

“Mm… I’d hate to see you thrown out.” She reached above him, her small breasts briefly in his face and her back arched as she pressed a few buttons over his head. The music from outside seemed to dull as another song played over it, a slow but bass-heavy beat overlaid with aching female vocals. She shifted back to him, smirking. “Unfortunately, you have already seen much of what I can do.”

His eyes darkened and he held his hands at his sides, trying to keep his gaze on her face. “I highly doubt that.”

She laughed, a sound that sent a shudder through his blood. As they music built she slowly rolled her hips, rocking them back and forth, her dress hitching to the top of her thighs. He could just barely see the bright blue of her lace panties when she drew her body back, bending impressively, showing him how flexible she really was.

She returned to him, dark hair partially covering her face. There was a slight part to his lips, a hunger in his eyes. This was working. She eased back from him, standing slowly, spreading her legs to let him appreciate the hard-won muscles of her thighs and calves. Moving in perfect time, keeping sync with the music as it swelled and swayed and bounced, she strode a few steps away from him and bent over, letting him see the pert shelf of her ass. The lace of her underwear barely covered anything, and he could just barely see the outline of her outer labia through the fabric -or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

She stood, looking at him over her shoulder with a devilish smirk. He forced himself to return her expression, having only then realized he was almost slack-jawed. 

With deliberate, calculated movements she crept back to him, climbing into his lap, biting her lower lip. His hands twitched at his side, his empty glass sitting on the table. She saw the slight movement, knew he was losing control, and suddenly grabbed his wrists. He gasped quietly, looking up at her, his arms pinned above his head and held back against the wall. She leaned in, using his wrists for leverage, so close their lips could touch. 

“That’s enough,” he hissed. 

“What?” She breathed, unable to hide her alarm. She eased herself off him, letting him stand -or try to. He stumbled and braced himself against the wall, squeezing his eyes shut. “Are you going to be sick? There’s a trash can right there…”

He shook his head and leaned into the wall, breathing. “I have to go.”

“No, you’ve had too much. Just… let me call you a cab at least.”

“I can walk. It’s fine.” He turned around, blinking hard, and she walked up to him. She put a gentle hand on his upper arm and squeezed, attempting to ground him. “Da’len… I’ll see you tomorrow. Just… let me go.”

“Solas…” he pushed past her, stumbling back into the hallway. For a few heartbeats she stared after him, heart racing and thoughts a mess. Then her eyes widened, and anger flared in her veins. “Hey! You bastard, get back here!” She walked outside, heels clicking loudly, and saw him leaving through a backdoor. There was already a bouncer going after him. “You didn’t pay!”

{ to be continued }

if you enjoyed this fic, please hit the reblog button on this post. comments are cool but not necessary -you can leave no tags, a keysmash, or even just 'nice' if you'd like! thanks for your support -arden