#but its one of the series my rm showed me

[nightingaelic]

Things that are Now Fallout Canon

(according to the Special LIVE Report from Galaxy News that preceded the Fallout TV series' teaser trailer release on December 2, 2023)

Vault 33, the focus vault of the Fallout television series, is located beneath Santa Monica, California. It's also implied to be very, very expensive to get into.

Bottle and Cappy, the mascots for Nuka-Cola and its theme park, Nuka-World, were about to embark on a seventeen-movie-long series of animated films before the bombs fell.

The sinking of the RMS Titanic happened in Fallout's alternate universe. The news announcer jokes about the world going down like the infamous ship, including the deadly lack of lifeboats.

Camels exist in this universe, too! The news announcer actually fucks this one up, because he says dromedary camels have two humps - dromedary camels have one hump, while Bactrian camels have two. Or maybe we'll get a sound bite from Todd Howard in a few months where he claims the camel breed names are swapped in Fallout, who knows.

Pets were not allowed in the commercially-advertised vaults. The news announcer regrettably informs listeners that they can't bring their cats, dogs, or even fish with them due to logistical concerns and safety hazards, but they are more than welcome to purchase Vault-Tec-branded gravestones and hold pet funerals before they move underground. Hypothetically-speaking, it wouldn't surprise me if people tried to smuggle their animals in, anyway.

Someone stole the Fallout universe's original moon landing flag from the Museum of Technology in Washington, D.C. - another headline report, with no further details. It was in the same exhibit as the Virgo II lunar lander, which stayed put for at least 200 years.

Vault Boy was named "World's Sexiest Man" in 2077 (when the report is being aired) - no word about which publication or organization bestowed this title upon an animated mascot.

Vault-Tec trademarked the thumbs-up emoji in the Fallout universe - which is very much in character for the company, but something about there being emojis in the world at all hit me wrong.

Vault-Tec instituted a "breeder search program" alongside vault placement purchases, and encouraged polyamory to get people to procreate (and buy more vault spots). I'll admit that this one seems plausible but shaky, because by this point in the report the news announcer is losing his mind while stalling for the vault door to open, and he might just be making shit up.

Nuka-Cola ran its own version of the Pizza Hut "BOOK IT!" reading program, called "ZAP IT!" Kids were required to read over 10,000 books to win rewards. If we use picture books for the math, and allow for five minutes to read each book, that's about 833 hours (34 straight days) of reading to get some soda.

Moby-Dick by Herman Melville and the ancient Greek myth of Daedalus and Icarus both exist in the Fallout universe.

Resulting Thoughts

"The ghoul" in the show is possibly named Howard - unsure if that's a first or last name. In the teaser trailer, Walton Goggins (who plays the ghoul) is shown dressed like a Hollywood cowboy on the day of the Great War, riding a horse to try to escape the nuclear bombs that hit Los Angeles with an unidentified child. Meanwhile, the Galaxy News headlines report that a box office hit called "The Man From Deadhorse" is getting a sequel, which is currently filming at California Crest Studios, and the news announcer says the film is "Howard-led." Whether the ghoul is the lead actor, we don't know, but it seems like a solid enough hint at his origins.

I'm glad that the show is going to delve more into the idea of the haves and have-nots, what with vault entrance being both selective and expensive. The most recent games in the series don't talk about this enough, in my opinion.

This isn't specific to the show adaptation, but it's becoming more noticeable to me that the Fallout series is crawling forward in terms of relating to modernity. I'm not sure how to feel about this - for example, I don't really mind if the soundtrack of Fallout 76 features the Beach Boys and other 1960s songs when it used to be strictly limited to 1930s and 40s music. On the other hand, I thought that using a news announcer that sounds more like a modern podcast host than a Transatlantic-accented journalist was an odd choice, and as I said above, I really did not like the idea that pre-war America knows what an emoji is. I'll get over it, but I'm anticipating that there will be some more artistic choices in the adaptation (and future games) that rub me and others the wrong way because they don't fit our definition of what Fallout "is." I'm not saying anything new, people have been arguing about that forever.

Overall, I'm excited. We're probably not getting a new Fallout game until 2030, so I might as well try to enjoy this. I will be keeping my bingo cards handy, though.

Anyway, I transcribed the damn report because I'm very normal. Feel free to use!

Fallout - A Special LIVE Report from Galaxy News

with occasional commentary from yours truly

[An upbeat, strings-led orchestral jingle plays, and black-and-white picture focuses on a spinning, silver globe. The globe is being circled by a vintage toy rocket. The words "GALAXY NEWS" fly in, and are quickly wiped and replaced by script declaring "Vault-Tec Presents..." The picture is circle-wiped and transitions to a high view of a vault entrance, with no visible script or markings to indicate which vault it is. The large, circular vault door is closed, and the access bridge to the door is not connected. A timer counting down from 60 minutes is overlaid in the bottom left corner, just above the Galaxy News globe logo and a signal tower graphic next to the word "LIVE." News headlines scroll along the bottom of the screen, the first of which reads "GALAXY NEWS SIGNS 10-YEAR PARTNERSHIP DEAL WITH VAULT-TEC." The headlines are separated by small lightning bolt graphics. The music continues throughout, and a male news announcer's voice cuts in.]

Good morning! Or, afternoon! Or evening, depending on where in the world you are. If you're just tuning in with us now, you're in for a treat. Welcome to the unveiling of Vault 33, one of the flagship vaults of Vault-Tec's arsenal of vaults.

[The second scrolling headline reads "VAULT-TEC VOTED AMERICAN COMPANY WITH BRIGHTEST FUTURE."]

Galaxy News is here live with an exclusive look at the next generation of apocalypse-proof, purpose-built luxury housing, sponsored by our friends at Vault-Tec. Vault-Tec: Revolutionizing safety for an uncertain future.

[The third scrolling headline reads "ROBCO INTERPLANETARY PROBE PROBES DEEPER INTO SPACE THAN ANY PROBE HAS PROBED BEFORE."]

If you're a regular viewer of our programming, we consider you an astute, engaged citizen, doing your part to stay informed on the latest news impacting this beautiful country of ours, and so it will be no surprise to you that we are on the precipice of a nuclear armageddon. But, fear not, Vault-Tec is building the ultimate shelter-in-place solution for the more doomsday-savvy customer: A veritable ark meticulously designed to weather the geopolitical storm surely headed our way any day now. And for the first time on live broadcast, the fine folks at Vault-Tec will be giving you a tour of their newest product unveiling, from the comfort of your home.

[The announcer takes a break, and the music swells. The vault remains closed, and no activity whatsoever is visible around it. It might as well be a static image. The fourth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-WORLD BREAKS ATTENDANCE RECORD FOR FOURTH STRAIGHT YEAR. GALACTIC ZONE GIVEN CREDIT FOR INCREASED NUMBERS." The initial song ends, and a new strings song with a more staccato rhythm begins. The news announcer returns.]

Welcome, once again, to Vault 33, nestled in the coastal west side of sunny Los Angeles County, and minutes from the yet-to-be-destroyed, bustling downtown promenade. Should nuclear annihilation one day come for this quiet beach-side town, you can take comfort in knowing you are safely buried deep, deep below what numerous trade publications once called "one of the best places to live." Right now, ladies and gentlemen, what you're looking at is peace of mind. Billions and billions of dollars and decades of R&D funneled into the high-grade protection engineering that only Vault-Tec can bring you.

[The fifth scrolling headline reads "WE ASKED OUR VIEWERS TO ANSWER A SIMPLE QUESTION: WHAT IS THE GREATEST NATION ON EARTH AND WHY IS IT AMERICA? HEAR THE RESULTS TONIGHT AT 10PM EST." At this point, the news announcer starts to sound less formal and more excited.]

Aren't we a bunch of lucky ducks! Vault-Tec has tapped us into their closed loop security feed to bring you a sneak peek behind a vault entrance airlock. That large, fortified steel blast door you see there is the only thing standing between you and the rads.

[The sixth scrolling headline reads "UNITED STATES AGAIN ACCUSED OF ATMOSPHERIC COUNTER-ESPIONAGE BY THE REDS."]

Very soon - very soon, I'm told - Arnold? Are we - yeah - and we're very soon, and we're very soon. Very, very soon, I'm told, that gear door will open, and Galaxy News will be on the ground to give you all a walking tour of the facilities! Including the accommodations one might expect in a state-of-the-art, modern residence thanks to a partnership with RobCo Industries and some of your shelf-stable forever favorites like BlamCo and Sugar Bombs! There's nowhere to hide from explosive good taste! Boom!

[The news announcer disappears again, and the strings conclude and are replaced with a meandering clarinet-led number. Several scrolling headlines go by: "U.S. RENEWS DEFENSE CONTRACT WITH WEST TEK, HERALDS VALUE OF POWER ARMOR IN ALL THEATERS OF WAR." "ESPIONAGE THREAT SUBDUED IN DOMESTIC URANIUM MINES." "PRESIDENT DECLARES NUCLEAR STOCKPILE 'SAFE ENOUGH.'" "BULLETIN OF THE ATOMIC SCIENCES SETS DOOMSDAY CLOCK TO HALF A NANOSECOND TO MIDNIGHT." "ATLAS OBSERVATORY CHRISTENS NEW TELESCOPE, RE-COMMITTING TO A NON-VIOLENT PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE." The song ends, a new one begins, and the news announcer returns. The vault still hasn't opened, and he's dropped what was left of his professional tone.]

And we are... stalled out. We're still... having technical difficulties. You know, sometimes things go bad and there's just no way you can plan. It's kind of like what's happening with the world right now, there's no way you could've been born into the world and know how you were going to end - know how the world would end. How will the world end, in fire or in ice? Well, it turns out -

[laughter]

It turns out it's gonna be fire...

[The twelfth scrolling headline reads "CHRISTMAS TOY TRENDS: RETAILERS REPORT SHORTAGE OF POWER ARMOR FIGURINES."]

Arnold! What's that? Okay. Yes.

[sound of paper pages being flipped through]

Okay. Arnold just handed me a fun fact. We're gonna do fun facts, fun facts.

[The thirteenth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-COLA QUANTUM GETS FDA APPROVAL, FOUND TO CONTAIN 'HEALTHY AMOUNT OF RADIATION."]

Fun fact about the construction of these massive vaults: They use concrete. Hm. That hardly counts as a fun fact, Arnold. Now is there an update on when the door... the door's gonna be open? Arnold? I'm sorry, is there an update on the door? Is there an update on the crane? Is it a crane problem, or a door problem? Is it a pr- is it a crane problem, or a door problem? Arnold? Arnold! Arnie!

[sigh]

Okay...

[The news announcer gives up, and a song with a lot of muted trumpet comes in to serenade more scrolling headlines. "NO ONE'S BEATING THIS DEADHORSE. 'THE MAN FROM DEADHORSE' TOPS BOX OFFICE. A SEQUEL IS ALREADY IN THE WORKS AT CALIFORNIA CREST STUDIOS." "ATLAS WEATHER EXPERIMENT BELIEVED TO BE THE CAUSE OF UNEXPECTED SNOW FLURRY IN LOS ANGELES." "DEVELOPING: REDS CONTINUES TO DENY EXISTENCE OF STEALTH SUBMARINES, US INTELLIGENCE SUGGESTS OTHERWISE." Woodwinds replace the trumpet, and the news announcer returns, pivoting to an unrehearsed sales pitch for his sponsor.]

If you have the money, please - please, guys - get a Vault-Tec vault. Get in there! Think of it as a life raft, a bit. Our country is the Titanic, and these vaults are the life rafts - right? - attached to the side of it.

[The seventeenth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-COLA MASCOTS 'BOTTLE AND CAPPY' TO APPEAR IN ANIMATED FILM FROM CALIFORNIA CREST STUDIOS. WILL BE THE FIRST IN A SEVENTEEN PICTURE DEAL BETWEEN THE COMPANIES."]

Now, were there enough life rafts on the Titanic? If you remember - no, no there weren't enough, and so many, many people died, and so, it's a nice allegory actually, because they're not going to die in the freezing ocean, which would be - actually, it's a little faster to die by fire than it is by drowning in the cold, so it is kind of an advantage to be dying now, th- rather than on the Titanic, the RMS Titanic.

[The eighteenth scrolling headline reads "SUPPLY LINES FOR RED FORCES BREAKING DOWN." Sort of like this announcer. He pivots again.]

Now - can you call a survivor of a nuclear holocaust a person, anymore? I don't know. Their brain is going to be cottage cheese, and they will be crawling... crawling on the ground, stuffing sand in their mouth, their blind eyes melted out, like the white of an egg, just dripping and dribbling out of their eye sockets.

[The nineteenth scrolling headline reads "VAULT-TEC ANNOUNCES COMPLETION OF VAULT 33 UNDER SANTA MONICA, CA."]

They raise their face towards their... god... and scream, "Nooooo! Whyyyyyy! What did it all mean?" It turns out it didn't mean much if you didn't get a spot in a Vault-Tec vault."

[The twentieth scrolling headline reads "MILITARY UNITS SENT TO QUELL UNREST IN SEVERAL STATES."]

"Now, let's talk about the luxury interiors of Vault-Tec vaults. We have camel leather. You've heard of cow leather. Probably. Camel leather is a great deal softer, isn't it? It comes from the camel, who keep their water on their backs in a hump. Sometimes two, if they're a dromedary. Now, let's talk about camel leather and why it is more supple, and why it is cooler to the touch, and we can talk about it forever but what you want is luxury, what you need is safety: Where you go is Vault-Tec. That's it.

[I feel like I need to point out that dromedary camels only have one hump, and no camels store water in their humps: It's actually just fat up there that they can live off of while traversing deserts. Regardless, the announcer is gone again. The scrolling headlines remain. "NUKA CORP SPINS OFF ATOMIC RESEARCH ARM INTO SEPARATE CORPORATE ENTITY AFTER SEC APPROV." "SUPER DUPER MART ANNOUNCES RECALL OF BLAMCO MAC & CHEESE FOR TRACE AMOUNTS OF DAIRY." "VAULT-TEC STOCKS SOAR AS US ECONOMY BECOMES FEAR-BASED." "BUREAU OF ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, FIREARMS AND LASERS TAKE DOWN NATIONWIDE WEAPONS SMUGGLING RING." Another woodwind-heavy song starts up, and so does our announcer.]

Um... Arnold?

[throat clearing]

Arnie! Can we- do- do we have a- can we start a clock? Can we - is there, like, anything we can do? I feel like people need something to hold onto, there's a lot of empty air. There's a lot of dead air, here. People need something to hold onto, people are freaking out, and I'm freaking out because I like to have - I like to bring people comfort - uh, in, in this crazy time. There's, there's only a few things you can predict -

[laughter]

In - in the world, and uh, I thought that opening the vault on time would be one of those things.

[The twenty-fifth scrolling headline reads "MILITARY SETS THREAT LEVEL OF POSSIBLE BIOLOGICAL WEAPON ATTACK FROM REDS TO HIGH."]

I was kind of counting on it as a - a thing that would bring some amount of normalcy, some amount of comfort. Something happening the way it's supposed to in a world that feels like it has been turned upside down by evil. But, unfortunately that is not the case. Here we are. Another thing we don't know. Another thing we have to grapple with.

[The twenty-sixth scrolling headline reads "TEDDY FEAR MANUFACTURER SETTLES CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT, DENIES TOY BEAR CAUSES SLEEP PARALYSIS NIGHTMARES IN CHILDREN."]

This particular vault and these technical difficulties that we're having right now have absolutely nothing to do with the product that you will buy when you buy a Vault-Tec vault. Now, Vault-Tec vault living is living the dream, and it's the only way to safety unless you're... the President of the United States, or something like that, and you have a mountain in Colorado to go under and direct the events of the world. Not many of us are that, there's only one of those... uh, and his various and sundry advisors, I'm sure they'll be fine, but you won't! You won't be fine!

[The twenty-seventh scrolling headline reads "WERE TEDDY FEAR BEARS MISUNDERSTOOD? ONE PSYCHOLOGIST THINKS SO."]

If a vault is out of your price range, there are lower-cost alternatives to purchasing a spot with Vault-Tec. They don't sound... good, if you ask me. Anti-radiation pills? Good luck with that. Not sure how anti-radiation pills will hold up against temperatures rivaling the surface of the sun, for example. But maybe that's just me!

[He's gone again. We're 15 minutes into the countdown, and the woodwinds have really started to outdo their own whimsy, at this point. Headlines continue. "TEDDY FEARS SKYROCKET IN POPULARITY AND PRICE DUE TO SCARCITY CAUSED BY RECALL." "VAULT-TEC ANNOUNCES NEWLY AVAILABLE SINGLE VAULT SPACES FOR SALE." "THIS YEAR'S FALLOUT SUIT DESIGN FEATURES ENHANCED PROTECTION, 20% MORE ZIPPERS." The whimsical woodwinds finish up and a bouncy, brassy horn piece takes over. This summons the announcer.]

When you see that vault, it's all gonna be worth it, fellas. It's all gonna be worth it when you see that vault. Now kids, you're probably wondering: Can I bring my pet doggy, or my pet kitty, into the vault? You can't. Unfortunately... it's a hazard in so many different ways. Uh... tch, uh, their hair can get caught in the ventilation system, you'll have endless problems, where do you put their waste? Where do you put... their food? So many, so many problems, so... we have specially-made Vault-Tec gravestones.

[The thirty-first scrolling headline reads "VIRGO II LUNAR LANDER NOW ON DISPLAY AT MUSEUM OF TECHNOLOGY IN WASHINGTON, D.C."]

We have specially-made Vault-Tec pet gravestones for your children to have many funerals for their pets before you go into your Vault-Tec vault. Memorialize your pets now with Vault-Tec mini pet gravestones! Dig a hole in the sand, put the pet in there, and put that gravestone - and it's got a space where you can write the pet's name - right before you go in the vault, no pets in the vault. Not even fish. No, not even fish.

[The thirty-second scrolling headline reads "FLAG FROM VIRGO II LUNAR LANDING STOLEN FROM MUSEUM OF TECHNOLOGY." The news announcer is really getting aggravated.]

What is happening? What is - Arnie! What is - what is happening? Okay - okay! Alright!

[The music and the headlines fill the space again. "NUKA-WORLD TO RAISE TICKET PRICES FOR UPCOMING SEASON, EXPECTING AN 'EXPLOSIVE' YEAR." "GWINNETT ANNOUNCES NEW PALE ALE SO PALE IT'S TRANSPARENT." "HAPPY NATIONAL SOCK HOP DAY!" "VAULT BOY NAMED WORLD'S SEXIEST MAN." The news announcer tries again, attempting to play up the complete inactivity happening onscreen.]

So much is happening here, we've got... the crane, as you can see, it's - it's about to be lowered, and I'm told - and I'm told... the weather. The inclement weather is - keep - I think the weather... there's a pressure cha- it needs to be - yes, of course. The pressure needs to be right to open the vault, or else the differential pressure between underground and overground will cause... a, uh... uh, the furniture to, uh...

[The thirty-seventh scrolling headline reads "VAULT-TEC REGISTERS TRADEMARK ON THE THUMBS UP EMOJI." This one made me physically recoil.]

L- Look... get a Vault-Tec vault. If you can't afford a whole vault for your family, that's fine. Buy time in a timeshare, one of our timeshares. And it's not the kind of timeshare you're going to regret, this is one that's not a scam, because you can look down at your intact body in a Vault-Tec vault and say, "Look at me! I'm whole!"

[The thirty-eighth scrolling headline reads "NUKA-COLA PATRIOTICALLY SALUTES SUCCESS OF NEWEST FLAVOR LAUNCH - NUKA-COLA VICTORY. EXCLUSIVE REDESIGN COMING NEXT YEAR WITH 'A TASTE AS SWEET AS FREEDOM.'"]

Stay whole in a Vault-Tec vault! Keep it together, meaning your corporeal form! Keep it together in a Vault-Tec vault! You'll be skipping around in a workout area, and... check out those barbells! Why not work those biceps while you're down here? What if there's an emergency, and somebody breaches your Vault-Tec vault door? Well, you're gonna want to be in shape to fight off that rageful beast!

[At this point the scrolling headlines loop back to the beginning.]

Now, is it a human? If you kill it, will its soul go to heaven or hell? Don't worry about it! Just get it out, because even its presence in your Vault-Tec vault could kill you and your entire family! These people are irradiated. It's not healthy, right? It's like putting your hand on a radiator. Don't do it.

[Music break. That vault still isn't opening. The song ends, and the news announcer clears his throat.]

We don't... have the exact scoop yet, ladies and gentlemen, so Arnie, why don't we put some music on while we wait for the skinny?

[noticeable pause]

I- I- I- I- don't know what song, put on anything, I'm dying up here.

[The next song opens with energetic trumpets that sound like they're charging through a movie theater snack stand. It's followed by a big band track that seems to re-energize the announcer.]

And, if you're just joining us, we're preparing to head inside the latest and greatest product offering from Vault-Tec. Vault 33, a pristine subterranean society purpose-built for America's best and brightest to wait out the nuclear fallout. There's no telling what will remain once this global conflict reaches its inevitable conclusion: That's why it's important for patriots like you to purchase a guaranteed spot in America's future. It's up to you to keep our golden society going, propagating forth until we have the ranks to repopulate the world outside.

"What if I don't have a partner or family right now?" you may be asking. "Don't give up on love so soon!" I say. Where better to meet eligible partners than in a cherry-picked community of like-minded individuals? If you find you need a bit more assistance, Vault-Tec has breeder search programs to help you find the one, or the two, or the three, four, five! Vault-Tec is a very open society, so go ahead and purchase that single vault space, and that single may become a double before you know it! And what better place to find someone to love, than safe underground?

Please stay tuned as we prepare to bring the crew, and the world at large, inside our Vault-Tec facility.

"But what if I don't have the money for a vault right now?" you may be thinking. You should never let not having the funds today stop you from reaching your dreams. You can always pay tomorrow, into perpetuity. Vault-Tec is reportedly constructing financial packages that allow for customers to continue payments on select economy vaults, in the event of total societal extinction. So don't worry, purchase away! Vault-Tec upholds traditional American values, and they believe no one should be excluded from the pursuit of life, liberty, and debt.

[Music break, wherein the song concludes and switches to something more pensive and staccato.]

A- Alright? Yes? Arnold is telling me - yes? We are moments away! Moments away - from having some kind of movement here. I'll believe that when I see it. Sorry Arnie, but your credibility with me could not be any lower at this point.

Let's talk about the amenities in these concrete miracles. Radiation King will be providing television sets, modern kitchen appliances.

[throat clearing]

The sofas will be... I'm sorry, do we know who makes the sofas? I'm sorry, do we - do we know who makes the sofas? Do we know who makes the sofas? Arnold, do we know who makes the sofas?

[Arnold does not reply. The announcer is miffed.]

What else is new. Yeah.

[Dejection turns to anger immediately.]

If you could please just give me something? If you could please just give me something to update? I'm sitting here with nothing! I'm sitting here... with nothing! This isn't my job! I'm a journalist! I report things, I don't... vamp! Is there even a - is, is there a clue? Is there, do the crane people - have the crane people chimed in? Have the door people chimed in? Is it all one person?

[Arnold presumably says some inaudible form of "I don't know." This does not please the news announcer.]

Well maybe con- maybe connect yourself to them. You should get yourself a radio. Get yourself a radio, Arnold. That's your job, to communicate with me the facts about what's going on, and it's my job to communicate to the people who are watching - we're trying to save their lives - you know, and this isn't advertising for me. This is a product I believe in!

Arnold, what do you do? What skills do you - are you somebody's son? Are you - are you somebody's kid, or something?

[Arnold can finally be heard, somewhat garbled from distance or technology: "My uncle is, uh, is the general manager of Galaxy News, your employer." The news announcer considers this.]

Your uncle is the manager of Galaxy New - mmm. Well, that explains how you got this internship. I'm sorry for everything I said, but... you can understand my frustration, here.

[The music concludes, but the announcer keeps going.]

The, uh, vault foreman is out here, and he is, uh, uh, doing hand signals. Ooh, yes, it's going to be a while, let's play some music for the people, Arnie.

[A new song starts. We're nearly 30 minutes into the countdown before the song switches over and the news announcer starts up again.]

All right folks, we have an update! They've got eyes on the gatekeeper out walking the grounds. It appears he was attempting to retrace his steps after misplacing the key and his wallet - still no word on the key itself, please stand by for more on the wallet, as this story continues to unfold.

Still on standby as we wait for the situation in the vault to resolve, but folks, there is plenty to get the American public up to speed on in the meantime. World news stories! Breaking, breaking news from the international desk. Peace negotiations between America and her adversaries crumbled in Anchorage, Alaska, this past weekend, a city recently liberated from foreign occupation, leading experts to believe nuclear war is indeed on the horizon. One more reason, America, to tune into the presentation Vault-Tec has for us today. Preparation, resilience, and smart spending are the only way our precious republic makes it through that long, dark night.

[This revelation approximates the date of the broadcast, which is happening not long after the Battle of Anchorage. The clash in Alaska officially ended on January 10, 2077: This news bulletin proves that attempted peace negotiations followed, then failed.]

Going the way of the dinosaurs has never felt this fun! If only the dinosaurs had Vault-Tec technology. Now, the dinosaurs died because... a meteor came from space, right? They had nothing to do with it. We have everything to do with our own demise. It's almost like… people are a virus that is destroying the Earth, we're a planet-killing virus. And people do say, "Oh, well, you know, well, the cockroaches... will outlive us and the the aardvarks or whatever will outlive us." Well, they won't. They're going to die too, because this is the real deal, guys. This is the end. So if you're not underground, I don't know what you're doing.

I wonder how we'll evolve. Will we develop a different kind of skin, some kind of leathery, plastic skin to fight off the nuclear fire? Who knows, but the only way to find out is to purchase a Vault-Tec vault, or a space in one of our timeshares.

[Music break again. It's a rather lively waltz.]

For those gathered around their Radiation King TV sets today, thank you for your patience. Rome wasn't built in a day!

[laughter]

Very soon you will witness… one of the greatest modern advances since the Virgo II moon landing - you won't want to miss this, the future of you and your future children depends on it.

[Exasperation sets in.]

Honestly, who wrote this copy?

[Arnold presumably raises his hand.]

You did, Arnold? Well, that's not surprising. It leaves… yes, well, it leaves a lot to be desired. They couldn't hire a professional writer? You look like you're 15 years old.

[Arnold inaudibly corrects him.]

You're 23? Yeah, well, 23-year-olds look like they're 15 now, still too young. What could you know about the - what could you possibly know about the written word, Arnold? Goddamn it. What could you - what do you know about writing and oratory? Nothing, I'll answer y- for you, nothing. The lack of professionalism - myself not included - disgusts me. The lack of professionalism disgusts me, Arnold!

Speaking of nuclear fire, you should see the muffin tray they left out for me. People want a blueberry mu- you want a muffin, okay? A muffin. Not a little squirt of dough, with a little powdered su- give me a muffin, give me a real thing, okay? Give me some snacks! You're going to give me some coffee? Good. I need a snack, to balance it. I'm not the only person in the world who needs a little bit of fat in their stomach when they eat a... big haul of caffeine.

[throat clearing]

Stand by as we wait for the situation in the vault to resolve.

[The music does some flourishes, then finishes.]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's official: We're experiencing some technical difficulties. And before we can open the vault - Vault 33, our flagship vault, full of the, uh, finest luxury items available to mankind, a- as of now - maybe we could put something on to keep people company while we figure out the technical difficulties. Sorry, these difficulties of course have nothing to do with Vault-Tec's vault tech. In- in- indeed…

Look, I need to have a whole cigarette right now. Just put on the song. Where are my smokes?

[The music starts up again while the announcer burns through a cigarette at the speed of a Corvega.]

Well, well, well! Here we are again! Ladies and gentlemen, we're dealing with a hiccup. Now, hiccups... might seem like a momentary stoppage, but this is a big hiccup. It's like God is hiccuping.

Vault-Tec is reporting that there's only one gatekeeper and one key on this vault model. The keys for these vaults are one of one, it fits like a glove, but it's - it's - these - these locks are very, very complicated.

God, it's so good to be on the other side of this. I don't think people know. People really don't know what's coming, and that's probably good. If you haven't watched… if you haven't watched the news up to this point, don't pick it up. Don't… just try and stay ignorant, uh, really don't find out what's going to happen because… it's bad, um, it's over.

[laughter]

The Earth is a slaughterhouse, and we are cattle!

[laughter]

We- we'll go back into, uh, a society resembling Bronze Age Mesopotamia. That's where we're going. It's not fun. Um... disease is… really prominent, um… we don't treat women well - let's just face it, it's - they - we don't treat them well now, but back then… oof. Rough. Rough treatment of women. You think we're racist now?

It's going to get bad. Where you want to be is underground. Vault-Tec vaults.

[A really tinny muted trumpet rises to its occasion as he disappears again for a bit.]

You know what else is great about Vault-Tec vaults? The air purification system. Let's talk about air. You need air to breathe, I need air to breathe, we need air to breathe. Vault-Tec's got it in spades! We've got oxygen candles straight from our finest nuclear submarines that you can burn, that turn nitrogen and carbon dioxide into oxygen molecules. Perfectly breathable, perfectly safe for your children, and your children's children, and your children's children's children in case we're there for three sweaty generations of sweaty living underground! In a fresh vault!

In fact, we put a family in a vault for 10 years and let them out just to see how it would go… and here they are now! "We loved it, uh… We loved it! That was great!" Uh… that's - I'm making it up! I'm making that up. I am imagining what could happen if I had more information about the vaults, but I don't have that information, so I'm making it up! Ha! Vault-Tec vaults, yes. Say yes to the tech!

[The music saves us for a bit.]

Unfortunately, we are back, the vault hasn't opened, and we have had absolutely no movement towards the vault opening, so! Hope you enjoyed that music. I know I was tapping my feet. Let's get back into it, where are we?

The US government has been quietly testing T-60 power armor suits as part of their long-standing defense contract with West Tek, following up the T-45 and T-51 efforts in the ongoing war with the People's Liberation Army.

[hisses through teeth]

How about that? How about that. The Man from Deadhorse gallops to a fast start at the box office! The Howard-led western is said to be the next smash for California Crest Studios.

[So the ghoul's name is probably Howard Something, or Something Howard. Interesting, but the announcer doesn't care and decides to throw another tantrum.]

Am I crazy or is this taking forever? I don't think I'm crazy, but I feel crazy! In fact, I might be the only person involved in this whole production who hasn't lost his mind! I'm looking at you, Arnie, I'm looking at you!

[Looking at Arnie yields nothing, again.]

"You don't know what to do, you don't know what to do." You idiot! I can't even get the word- I can't even get the information from you. Worthless!

[grunt of rage]

It's just me and Arnie here, I'm in hell, he's sitting there smiling at me, I'm in absolute hell!

Do you have a spot, Arnie? Do you have a spot in a vault? Oh! You do! What vault is that?

[long pause]

Oh, that's the one I'm in. Oh. Dear God.

[deep breath]

I guess we should get to know each other.

Ladies and gentlemen, we don't even know what's wrong here… but I can assure you that what isn't wrong is Vault-Tec technology, this has nothing to do with Vault-Tec's patented lock technology and everything to do with stupid people and human error. If you're this inefficient at work, what is home li- do - how do you wipe yourself?

[Uncalled-for, news announcer man.]

Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy this music while we figure out what's going on.

[Musical break number who knows. Just over 11 minutes remain on the countdown.]

In other sponsored news, Nuka-Cola is celebrating the success of one of their newest flavor launches, Nuka-Cola Victory, with an exclusive redesign release later next year. Students that read over 10,000 books can be part of the ZAP IT! Program, rewarding literacy with sugar!

[deep breath]

I don't like Nuka-Cola. Personally... I don't like Nuka-Cola. Too sweet. I don't drink it. But it's popular, I have stocks in it, I invest - I invest in it. I don't drink it. It's the way the world is. Just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's good, just because it's good, doesn't mean it's popular. A can of Nuka-Cola, what is that, it's energy slowed down, right? It's the energy of the universe slowed down, right? What are we, what am I? We are energy slowed down into the form of a human being. All that's about to stop.

[laughter]

All that's about to stop! All that's about to go away! Maybe there's life on other planets. Maybe there's not. Are they going to come save us, no! If I were on another planet, and I came here, I would have an endless belly laugh at our folly, I mean, the folly of man! It's funny, there's so much written about the "folly of man." I mean, read Moby-Dick. Read… uh… what di- what happened with the - the wax wings, the wax wing guy? Wax wing man, Mr. Wax Wings, Daedalus. What's his name?

[Arnold hazards a guess we can hear: "Shakespeare?"]

Arnold, Shakespeare? Arnold, Arnold, good god… Shakespeare? Where did you go - you went to one of these hippie schools...

[Arnold tries again: "I think it was Icarus?" The announcer is ecstatic.]

Icarus! Icarus. Wow! You are good for something. Wow, Arnie!

Now, Icarus, he was close to the sun. In a Vault-Tec vault, you'll be as far from it as possible. You will be up to 50 feet underground, in a Vault-Tec vault, safe and sound in the knowledge that the wax on your wings will not be anywhere close to anything that will make it melt, except our new Vault-Tec oven!

[The horns come in again.]

Where are you f- what's your family situation? Do you have kids or…

[Arnold probably shakes his head.]

No kids? Good for you.

[laughter]

Are you single?

[Arnold: "Yeah."]

Ahh, yeah. I wouldn't recommend going into a vault single. You might want to lock someone down and take you in there - if only to help you fight - and, uh, survive, it's good to have a partner. Yeah… oof!

Anyway, glad I'm safe and secure in my vault! Um… I'm in the tax bracket that kind of... automatically gets a vault, so, sorry everybody. Uh… I'll be, uh, doing this thing called surviving, while you are all burning.

[deep breath]

What's the point of any of this? What's the point of any of this? Nobody - nobody listening to this can afford one of these things. Everybody listening to this is about to turn into an idea!

[laughter]

Instead of a being! But, here we are! Let's whoop it up! Let's whoop it up! It's a big parade… for the end of mankind! It's a big parade! Here's the final celebration, Arnie! Here we are!

Let's stake our claim in a dying planet! Let's plant our flag in a dead rock, and see how we feel. Let's see how we feel after the flag is planted, Arnie.

[a deep sigh]

I don't know how much longer I can do this, man.

[another deep breath]

My voice hurts, I'm thirsty, we're out of water, the muffins they laid out at the top of the day are dry and old, I feel dry and I feel old.

I give up! I give up.

[chuckles]

What's the point of this? I mean, what's the point of anything? I'm... I'm broken.

[Emotion creeps in.]

I'm broken. I'm changed. I am broken and I have changed. I…

[one more deep breath]

Thanks to you, Arnie. Thanks to you, man. Thanks, you're the best, yeah, thanks to you, pal. Thanks to you, buddy boy. You are just awful. You disgust me. Yeah, I'm just - I'm sorry. I'm - I'm just… I'm fried, man. I'm - I'm fried, pal. I'm fried. Dead. Gravestone, dead. Oh yeah, that's, okay.

Oh, god. Where are we in the process of the door opening?

[Arnold: "Yeah, it's over."]

What?

[A record scratch stops the music. Two minutes remain on the countdown.]

What's that? Oh!

[The announcer clears his throat, and the music changes to a triumphant fanfare.]

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting word. Ladies and gentlemen... I've gotten word that we are star- we are starting, ladies and gentlemen. It's happening! Here we are! Here we are, we got it, we got it, and now…

N- and now, this afternoon is unlike any other afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. It was the morning, now it's the afternoon - here we go! The crane is loweri- Here we go!

[relieved laughter]

Okay! Really close to the time where I can go, and get out of here! The crane is lowering, it is happening, the tumblers are tumbling! The crane is lowering, the tumblers are tumbling, we are… go! We're going! It's opening! It's opening!

[The static image of the vault has not changed in the slightest bit.]

You try doing this! You try doing this, Arnie! You try filling the time! Next time we'll switch places, Arnie, and you can try it! Oh boy, oh boy, here we go, thank god we're doing it and it's happening. I see motion, I see- I see Vault-Tec… I am convinced! Guys, this is great, it's been great, Arnie? It's been great. Arnie, it's been great. You know, I hope we are in the same vault. I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you, Arnie.

[slightly unhinged laughter]

As long as this happens right now, I am fine with spending the rest of my life with you! As long as the vault opens right now. The fact that nuclear fire could fall from the sky at any moment has made this broadcast that much more important. Thank you, thank you so much for joining us!

[queertwilight]

Under threat from my sister @awkwardlysarah I have been forced to return to this hellsite in the middle of a delirious long day to post what she has informed me is the best idea she has ever had. please share and show her some love so that she thinks i’m a cool older sister and not just a tired grad student with a nostalgic affection for this series. Seriously she’s really excited about this post and I love her so make her happy or else :) Without further ado:

The Cullens as Different K-Pop Fans

Disclaimer: this is all my @awkwardlysarah head canons not my sister’s @queertwilight. I decided to combine my love for K-pop with my sister’s love for twilight. My qualifications are that I’ve been listening to K-pop for 6 years, so I kinda know a lot. Also no hate to any of the artists mentioned, you can have your own opinions and I’ll have mine. Silly little post enjoy!

Edward:

-exclusively listens to K-drama OST’s

-mainly for the instrumental and piano

-listens to the Best KDRAMA OST: of all time playlist and ranks them by instrumental

-secretly does watch K-dramas but claims its to help “appreciate” the music, has cried to almost every drama he’s seen

-Does not understand the appeal of K-Pop groups, prefers what he believes to be the classics

-Though, Alice once showed him RM’s album Mono and is now his biggest fan

-“No, you don’t understand guys if I met Namjoon we would get along perfectly. We could go on a museum date together and talk about life.”

-Loves RM’s newest release Indigo and locked himself in his room to reflect on the lyrics in the album.

-He too, mourns the loss (of what would have been) his 20’s

Rosalie:

-she is such a baddie with her K-pop taste

-mainly a 2nd gen girl group stan, but dips her toes in 4th gen (mainly AESPA) because Emmett showed her a couple groups

-also loves soloists-mainly IU and BIBI and DPR

-BIGGEST 2NE1 and 4minute stan there is (prays on YG and Cube’s downfall)

-if the songs are about being bad bitches then Rosalie is listening to them

-she can low key body any rap by CL

-has her more mellow moments when listening to Girl’s Generation and IU

-overall supports her girlies

-will fight trolls online that try to discredit any of the girls’ careers (

-has made multiple accounts deactivate because she proved them so wrong they could not show their faces online again

Emmett:

-OH BOY

-when Emmett discovered K-pop it was like opening up a portal that could no longer be closed

-he had casually stanned 3rd gen groups (since Alice listened to them)

-but then he found LOONA and other girl groups

-Rosalie low key curses this day btw

-became the biggest Orbit and Chuu stan

-“Emmett we have to go save Bella, she’s in danger.”

“Idk, maybe if she stanned LOONA this wouldn’t have happened.”

-is a photo card collector (Rosalie put a stop to this after he spent 3K on a Chuu broadcast photo card and getting scammed trying to buy other pcs)

-when I tell you he was so devastated that Chuu was kicked out of LOONA

-he didn’t have the strength to go hunting for DAYS

-helped boycott BlockBerry Creative #freeLOONA

-he does also dabble in boy groups; mainly Enhypen because he thinks they are actual vampires. (No one tell him it is just a concept it would break his heart, he streamed Bite Me for days because he felt SO seen).

Alice:

-MY MULTISTAN QUEEN!!!

-she knows everything about every group (obvi) and knows which groups are unproblematic

-runs an undercover KPOPpredictions twitter account where all her visions go

-Loves groups mainly for lore/storyline purposes

-like TXT, BTS, ENHYPEN, ATEEZ, EXO, etc. she LOVES a good storyline

-does theories on her main stan blogs about what she believes the MVs mean for the overall story

-always has people commenting on her theories about how right she is.

-is also a K-pop dance/lifestlye influencer

-give her 10 minutes and she WILL know the entire dance-will upload and edit it almost instantly

-has been featured in KCON dream stages and has been able to dance alongside some of her fav groups

-love planning her outfits for concerts and giving people inspiration on her social media platforms

“You need help coming up with vampire themed outfits for Enhypen’s upcoming concert, say no more I’ve got just the looks for you!”

Jasper:

-some of y’all may be a bit mad about this one…

-he’s the problematic K-pop stan

-like his playlist is CONTROVERSIAL

-liked sticker when it first released (believed the flute is what tied it together)

-low key a Jay Park stan on main

-…and a super junior apologist

(what did you expect he literally was a confederate solider)

-If a group has a cowboy concept he will be all over it tho, “takes me back to my roots.”

-will start shit online because he knows in the end he can control their emotions

-loves those unpopular k-pop opinion videos

-Alice does try to get him away from the problematic side of K-pop and it does kinda work, but like quitting human blood it takes him some time

-not a big stan, he’s kinda in it for the drama and to be an instigator

[beware-of-you-98]

✨Criminal Minds Writing Masterlist✨

I’m not really consistent with how, what and when I post but I’m mostly writing on ao3 and for criminal minds these days. Organized my lists a bit better so people can enjoy my works (old and new)! Feel free to comment or ask questions about certain works on tumblr.

Fics with smut will be labeled with a ** and discontinued fics will be labeled as such.

Criminal Minds

Jennifer Jareau x Emily Prentiss (jemily)

one shots

i wanna get better : a power outage triggers jj's ptsd and forces emily to take a deeper look into her relationship with the other woman [rating: T]

jj’s birthday** : emily, henry and michael work together to give jj the best birthday she's ever had [rating: E]

nothing is ever guaranteed : long buried feelings finally return during the aftermath of linda barnes' impact on the bau team [rating: T]

arms : emily is very surprised by the amount of arm strength jj has [rating: T]

i should be over all the butterflies : baby jjxemily first date [rating: GA]

i get off** : She wanted to be able to desperately feel like she could manage some part of her life, any part of it without fear. [rating: E]

you and i : lazy jemily morning [rating: GA]

it was so worth it** : pure sin [rating: E]

i love you, will you marry me : "Marry me," JJ murmurs out thickly against Emily's lips, the words even surprising herself when they escape her mouth [rating: GA]

you’ve got nothing to fear, i’m here : their odd day off doesn't quite go according to plan [rating: T]

fire escape : paris based off the songs “fire escape” by love, robot and “eyelids” by pvris [rating: T]

make you mine this season : emily’s first christmas with the jareau crew [rating: GA]

everything i do is all for you : emily wants to ask jj to marry her [rating: GA]

revenge and its thrills** : what do you do when the mom from the suite life of zack and cody shows up to your fbi bureau and decides she wants to do anything and everything in her power to take you and your team down? you and your girlfriend fuck in her office, of course! (aka bathe in holy water sin) [rating: E]

i know what you are : emily has a secret and jj confronts her about it [rating: T]

i wish i was just as strong as i make myself out to be : a completely original concept in which emily "died" during ian doyle's attack and jj had no idea about emily actually being alive <3 [rating: T]

we won’t be alone we’ve got love on our side : ficlet based on 5x21 “exit wounds” [rating: GA]

henry’s dragon : henry gets a pet [rating GA]

wish i could be part of that world : emily exposes jemily by singing jj’s favorite song in the shower [rating: T]

multi chapter

what if i can’t protect him** : it's another case involving children but it hits a bit too close for jj [rating: E]

a secret unraveled : emily and jj are dating in secret featuring how each member of the team finds out/how they react to finding out [rating: GA]

blackbird** : Emily is having a difficult time dealing with the trauma resulting from Ian Doyle and the BAU team (*ahem* mostly JJ and Garcia) help her get through it [rating: E]

i’ll never apologize for loving you : the three times JJ's family ruins the holidays (because homophobia) and the three times Emily is there to fix it [rating: T]

but why would you care : Emily quits the team like in the season 3 episode "In Name and Blood" but instead of Hotch coming to get her before the case, JJ confronts her after she hasn't shown up to work [rating: GA]

a night on the queen mary : emily and jj spend a night aboard one of the world's most haunted ships: the rms queen mary [rating: T]

here come the dreams of you and me : emily outs them to the team (accidentally) [rating: GA]

the truth is hiding in your eyes and it’s hanging on your tongue** : emily is a vampire that needs blood and jj has just that [rating: E]

Series

200 { a reworking of 14x15 “truth or dare”}

one shot

200 : Emily would do absolutely anything for JJ... [rating: M]

multi chapter

living in the mess we made : if 14x15 has to exist, then it's going to exist on my terms god dammit [rating: M]

only love {series of stories set from the time emily is rescued from ian doyle until that final night in paris [based off the song only love by Pvris]}

i’m hoping you weren’t heaven sent : a look into jj's thoughts and struggles as she waits for the outcome of emily's condition after being attacked by ian doyle [rating: T]

cause only hell knows where you’ve been : emily notices jj struggling on the jet ride home from the tobias hankel case [rating: M]

your built composure’s wearing thin : emily's "funeral" and how jj barely manages to keep up appearances [rating: T]

and all your walls are caving in : jj finally tells emily why she’s been acting so weird lately [rating: T]

i saw you, yeah you, you’re breaking down : honestly it's just the plane scene from 200 except they're both super gay and super sad [rating: T]

i hope you, yeah you, you come around : girl's night ft mutual pinning and garcia being completely over their oblivious bullshit [rating: T]

now don’t you shut this down : what the hell is she doing to emily, to herself? emily had come through for her time and time again and jj's only repaid her with cold impassiveness [rating: T]

don’t you give this up : emily has a hard time accepting jj’s state department transfer [rating: T]

i took all this love i found** : one thing that emily does do, and what comes as a huge surprise to jj, is sing [rating: E]

and i hope that it’s enough : the day that neither one of them were looking forward to finally dawns upon them [rating: T]

before you came around : JJ finally comes home to Henry [rating: T]

i was lost and out of place : blackbird84 started a new game [rating: T]

you’re the only love that i found : emily comes back and it's as if jj's world starts turning again [rating: T]

and i’m hoping that you’ll stay : jj and emily finally have a talk with morgan and reid [rating: T]

please stay : the end [rating: T]

{scrapped idea} [rating: T]

Jennifer Jareau x Elle Greenaway (jelle)

now you’re just a memory to let go of : elle leaves [rating: M]

there’s a time and a place to die and this ain’t it : fix it fic of the fisher king arc because why did anyone think it was ok to send elle home when the unsub knew about where the team lived [rating: T]

BAU as a Family

girl’s night : Girls night was a tradition that goes back to some of the very early days of the BAU team..... [rating: GA]

ice cream : BAU fam getting ice cream on a road trip [rating: GA]

bau jet shenanigans : what the core seven™️ get up to on a jet ride home [rating: T]

No Pairing

one shots

i trust you : JJ has a very important question to ask Emily after Michael is born [rating: GA]

multi chapter

cynophobia (the fear of dogs) : an analysis of jj’s fear of dogs over the years [rating: M]

what happened at the football game : reid takes jj on a “date” and it doesn’t go how either one of them expected it to [rating: GA]

Criminal Minds Evolution

Jennifer Jareau x Emily Prentiss (jemily)

one shots

true conviction but fuck it i did it myself : true conviction but better because a criminal minds fan wrote it instead [rating: T]

i couldn’t fake it even if i tried : emily feels a lot of guilt after the death of deputy director bailey [rating: T]

collabs

with all the weapons you fight with, your silence is the most violent (collab with @jemily-in-paris ) : penelope plans a girl’s night to fix the broken family dynamic [rating: T]

[stranger-rants]

Runaway Max Annotation Guide

I am working on annotating Runaway Max by Brenna Yovanoff. This book is often used to argue points re: Billy Hargrove's character, where he is described in summary as "totally out of control," "violent," and "terrifying." The book is told in Max Mayfield's limited first person point of view, which creates challenges to understanding Billy and the context of his life without a strong bias.

My goal is to unravel what exactly is happening in the Hargrove Mayfield household especially as it applies to Max and Billy and their relationship. This book is not 100% canon compliant, and as such I will discuss its limitations. Unfortunately, one of those limitations is the overall lack of Billy's point of view. Despite enduring canon abuse within the show and book, he's not given much of a voice on it.

I will be giving him a voice as much as I can by talking about what he's experiencing and why it's important to separate Max's thoughts as a child within the dysfunctional household from the reality of Billy's situation. After each chapter, I will provide a brief summary and a list of annotations. I am using highlighter stickers to mark up the book and a notebook to record my annotations.

If you would like to follow up on this series I am doing, you can check [#rm annotations] on my blog which will also be tagged below. Here is my list of annotations and what they mean and/or include.

1) Background Information; Timeline

Basic "objective" facts such as setting and scene, as well as details that help establish a timeline of events.

2) Family Context; Circumstances

Details we're told about the Hargrove Mayfield household. This could include "objective" facts like where Neil or Susan work, or details that expose their family dynamics.

3) Unreliable Statements; Limited P.O.V.

Details that are subjective, or presented as true from a limited point of view. Missing information. Implications that can't be fully verified. Things that are assumed about a character's thoughts and feelings that aren't explicitly expressed by that character - mainly about Billy.

4) Evidence of Abuse / Neglect

Explicit or implied instances of abuse and/or neglect. Emphasis on the role of Neil and Susan as parents. Does not include antagonism between Max and Billy unless it's relevant or contextualized by the abuse and/or neglect from their parents.

5) Neil / Billy Associations

Documenting the context in which comparisons are made between Billy and his abuser, Neil.

6) Max & Billy Relationship

The development of Max and Billy's relationship over the course of the novel; good, neutral, and bad interactions included.

7) Other Valuable Insights; Potentially Useful Information

Details that I think are important to the plot or characterization that may or may not have to do with Billy. They may "fill in gaps" within the overall Stranger Things narrative.

8) Characterization of Billy

Includes external and internal factors such as Billy's appearance, mannerisms, speech, actions, thoughts, interactions, and what other characters think, feel, say about Billy Hargrove.

Here is a preview of what these annotations will look like in practice. (A detailed description of these will be available in my next post in this series: Runaway Max Prologue)

There are multiple ways to read and understand a book. These ways are informed by the reader's own biases. That includes me. I am providing my own interpretation of the book, and that comes with my own limitations. You can use my posts as references for fandom discussions, but I am not making these posts specifically to argue with people. If you don't like my interpretations, you can make your own.

[tm-trx]

currents.19 [2024]

selections from my week in media [5-11 may 2024]

[listening]

"Come Back to Me" / RM

"Days Gone By" / Day6

"Gasoline" / E'last

"Paris" / The Chainsmokers

[reading]

Good, Good Things by EdenIsFalling - Love in the Air quad poly fic - A nice long fic that takes its time showing how their relationships progress and change.

Not in Kansas, Anymore series by LitGal - NCIS/SG1/SGA AU canon divergence - Decided to reread an old favorite and then remembered exactly how long it was, so I'm only about two thirds through it. But it's based on a fun concept: one of the goua'ld queens declares her species corrupt and evil, then proceeds to change everything.

[watching]

Dead Boy Detectives, ep 1-4 - I really love this show, wow.

Melting Me Softly, rewatch - It stands up really well on rewatch - I love the family relationships in this show so much. Ma Dong Chan and his siblings are everything.

Moving, ep 1 - One of the shows I've been saving and I'm so curious about so many things, after just one episode. It's gorier than I expected, so that was an unpleasant surprise.

previous Currents posts

[ezamevolni]

Traces: Two-faced 👹

This moment deserves a whole mention on its own.

I found it fascinating that it belongs so much to a kdrama yet happened in real life, was captured on camera, and how we were granted a rare glimpse of a pro-idol switching up his persona for someone. And that someone isn't you or me, it's an act solely for his Jin hyung.

The Jeon Kookie has edge.

160513 Sinchon fan sign

The whole fancam is worth a gander. There's quite a few Jinkook crumbs in there.

Zooming in on the moment that blows my mind every time I think about it... the full sequence starts at around 4:45 when the members prompted Jhope to do the ShyShyShy aegyo (dance move from Twice's Cheer Up).

While Hobi was being cute, Tae mischievously nudged him from behind and he fell, caught off guard. Jin instinctively grabbed Hobi trying to keep him upright but gravity was too strong for them both..

About a minute before any of this happened, Jk had just expertly maneuvered himself from Point A (between RM and Jimin) ➡️ next to Jin

His steps may say 'I'm casual' but his hands say 'It's premeditated and I'm restless'.

After 2seok dived off stage, Tae trudged over to take up the spot where Jin had been standing.

When Tae moved up, Jk stared silently at him. In response, Tae glared back at the younger one with a challenging "WHUT?". Then Jk proceeded to 'attack' Tae:

It was playful with a bit of tension that dispersed quickly. (it looked like Jk was ready to wrestle throw Tae over his leg with the final move)

Namgi on the other end cued the whole team to perform ShyShyShy at that moment so Jk dropped the fight and followed suit.

Hobi and Jin had both returned onstage by then and were also doing the aegyo.

Jhope and Jin were standing to the right of Tae now. From the above screenshots, Tae had thought of something related to the aegyo, grabbed Jin's mic to tell the fans about the small correction, and performed aegyo again on his own.

A teeny tiny glimpse of edgy Kookie first showed up here. Just focus on Jk's expression that went from unamused (when Tae took Jin's mic and started talking) to allowing a grin to spread across his face (after Jin turned to face Tae and him)

It might have looked like Jk was laughing at Tae's aegyo because both Jinkook were focused on him right?

Don't be naive 😈

The split second Jin turned his head away, Jk's laughing expression dropped,

Look at Jk's face closely and try to keep an eye on Jin's actions at the same time lol. It's so quick but it's true: Jk's smile dropped after Jin turned away.

Who was the smile for? >>>> 🐹 Duh.

But other shippers might argue, Jk's eyes were on Tae??!!?, he was smiling for Tae's aegyo!!?!

But I say, just keep watching.

BTW the first gif at the top is from the following moment - 2seok were offcam giggling together and Jk was watching them with a series of interesting expressions:

Read it how you will. There's no right answer.

(I'm waiting for Jinkook to one day do a zoom q&a where we send them clips and ask what was happening here and they tell us exactly what they were thinking. [maybe in a parallel universe.])

Then here's Jk breaking back into a smile the second Jin turned to face him and Tae again:

Look at how slick he was, making sure to turn and fix his gaze on Tae (this kiddo was just vibing out) first, then shifting slightly to meet Jin's eyes before smiling.

Pretended like he hadn't been watching Jin hyung.

So if we go by what Jin saw:

And when Jin wasn't looking:

Indeed, beware the double 🐰.

I doubt Jin watches fancams of their fansigns and mayhaps never seen this whole act by Jk before. If someone did force him to watch, he'll probably say something like "nah, he's been smiling, what are you talking about ☺️" like a Kookie solo

It is that serious though. Jungkook's only a cheerful sunny good boy for his Jin. Anybody else, he don't give a damn. Not even the fans. There's a whole bunch looking right at him. (and also us thanks to the fancam owner 🫶🏼)

Assuringly, Jk knows himself well. When concentrating on a certain one in the moment, he knows he can forget about the countless other presences watching him

Spoken with years of experience, Tae.

[lemon-inferno]

Encyclopedia of Useless Facts on Unbelievable Human Beings episode 1 ✔️

I watched it late last night and I was too tired to write about it immediately. It was about 1 hour and 43 minutes long, there's a lot to unpack there, if you wish to go into details (which I won't). I just want to talk about the impressions it left on me and how I feel about it.

It's a show for nerds (so perfect for me). When I first heard the topic of the episode I thoguht it was a little silly, not at all what I was expecting to see in this show. Their conversations however took me by surprise, because I was enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would. I never knew that watching six people talk could be so entertaining that it didn't lose my interest even once for the entire lenght of the episode. Granted, they're all incredibly intelligent individuals and have achieved a lot in their respective fields.

Now onto brief info about the show:

⚠️ Spoiler alert. ⚠️

This is a show where six people all from different fields are gathered, given a topic which they then discuss, and all you have to do it sit and watch. How fascinating. The people in question are a musician (RM), a film director (Jang Hang Joon), a novelist (Kim Young Ha), a physicist (Kim Sang Wook), a forensic scientist (Lee Ho) and an astronomer (Shim Chae Kyung).

The first episodes's topic was "The person you want to hire as a main character, if you make a movie out of the subject (the character)." The people discussed were MiMi Aung, a NASA scientists, present by the astronomer Shim Chae Kyung. Hong Gil Dong, a historical figure that was ficitonalized by many movies and tv series, presented by the novelist Kim Young Ha. Last but not least, Charles Darwin presented by the physicist Kim Sang Wook.

On a first glance, it might not seem like something incredibly interesting. In fact, it may seem boring. It's anything but, to me. First of all, they discuss three wildily different individuals. It's incredible to see how one conversation turns around to the other, the way they personally view things. It's interesting to see the choice they all made to present these figures. It's a thought-provoking and educational show that I really enjoyed and hope I will continue to enjoy.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

To some degree, I'm angry at myself I didn't know about this show before (as in its previous seasons and variants), because I've always been interested in shows like this one. It's one of the biggest reasons why I've been studying Korean really hard. These kind of shows don't often get translated. (Yes, unless the show in on netflix, I'm a pirate watcher.) If they do, there's episodes missing or entire seasons. I can't blame people for not translating them, because it's 1) a lot of work and 2) they already do other translations out of the goodness of their heart for no profit and that alone is something we should be incredibly grateful for. I've seen so many not popular shows that seem so interesting to me, but they're not translated. I watch a couple without subtitles, but I'm far from fluent. Without subtitles I get lost, I repeat a few seconds scene a few times, because I can't grasp it. It makes their already long episodes even longer for me. Sometimes it takes me 3 to 4 days to get through a not translated episode. Okay, I want off here. I'm sorry. Let's continue with the other show.

So yes, I loved this. I can't believe they spent more than 11 hours just talking about things, but at the same time I can. For a hungry mind, there's probably nothing better to do. I wish I could take part in the conversations. I was sitting in my room, watching and I kept talking at my screen. People who know me, know that I have a lot of interests in many things. To me, to have such an experience, to just be able to sit in a room with incredible people and talk, honestly it's like a wet dream.

I'm curious though, are all episodes going to be this long or was this one nearly 2 hours because it's the first one? I don't mind if they do stay long, I'm just curious.

Also I cannot wait for the topic of next episode! I'm not into romance or a romantic person, but when it's these people talking I'm so interested in what they have to say and how they feel about it. It's truly fascinating.

Note: I did listen to '"Indigo" and I was going to write about it, but after finishing the entire album I realized there's no need to. I was never one to analyze music like this anyways. Plus it's Namjoon's music exhibition and he's doing a great job explaining it himself. I just wanted to mention that, unsurprisingly, my favorite songs are Closer, Wild Flower and Forg_tful.

[shittatite]

Shittatites Nonsense Junction

I have created hundreds of lists to keep record of the things i read, watch, listen, eat (basically all my core interests as anyone's) but i can never keep a proper tab because first i am lazy, plus there is no one app where I can put all my shiz but then i remembered of my core-existence-app tumblr where i can literally dump anything and everything, just for my sake and nobody else's I am going to journal everything here on my page. oh who how I love this app So, I will be calling this my - nonsense junction and I will be updating it every month (at least try) starting from September.

August - September Junction (I know it's not over and not even midway through, I was just excited to put something, i couldnt care less about anything)-

Stuff Read - works (ao3):

Deadly Match - (enemies to lover/revenge plot/super angsty/they hate eachother until they cant and they are super in love with eachother/my best best jikook fic ever) {5/5}

Nothing New - (closeted jk/out and proud jm/roomates-friends-lovers/jk confused by the beauty of jm quite literally) {2.5/5}

books (epub/paperback):

Beautiful World Where Are You? - Sally Rooney - (two best friends in their late 20's writing letters to each other on their lives, so beautifully written that I had a hard time not underlining the whole book) {5/5}

currently reading:

The Bookshop Woman - Nanako Hanada

Stuff Watched - movies - (on any media platform)

Longlegs {USA, some website) - I liked it, i liked the jumpscares, the eeries feeling that something is off throughout the movie, the plot twist, i think this movie was supposed to creep up on you and it certainly creeped up my body {4/5}

Sleepy Hallow {USA, some website) - liked johnny depp's acting ngl (still dont like him) a lot, liked the suspense, liked watching the movie and enjoying it, dont understand how the f they became a couple but to each their own {3.5}

Stree 2 (India, - loved how the director connected the universes together from stree to munjiya, liked the cameo roles, i love movies where there is a full circle, or where the universes connect existing in the same timeline, you know?!? {4/5}

series -

Goedam (Korea, Netflix) - The only reason I gave it a watch was that I was super pmsing and wanted to watch horror and this was short but oh my did I get scared? oh yes, those 6-8 minutes were so beautifully directed that I almost died shit you not

The Boyfriend (Korea, Netflix) - Ohhhhhh my fav boys ever, super sweet, super fun like such good show about a group of boys coming together to find a chance at love, only for them to end up finding so much more, its pleasing to watch and so comforting not only to eyes but it just fills your heart with so much love and fondness, the way they articulate their feelings, I am a dai-shun girl all in all, but can we really really talk about kazuto being one of the prettiest beings on earth? like that boy is beautiful

My Stand-In (Thailand, Telegram) - I loved it I simply devoured it in one go, i couldn't stop watching no matter how toxic it got, the messier it is, the better I like it, i love poomp and up together, give them to me in anything, I will take it.

The Boys S3 {USA, Prime) - I love the thrill, I am living for it, and I do get irritated by it but I like it, I love how weirder and weirder it gets

trailers - I am a girl who loves trailers, i love going to the theaters before to watch trailers, so hence a category, it is just things that i like

Sector 36 - I love crime, I have studied crime and it fascinates me, it's based on Nithari Killings and I know about the case but I am excited to watch the whole thing and I know it will be dramatized and all but it has pappy ji and vikrant in it like imma gonna give it a watch for the acting

currently watching:

The boys S4 - Butcher is going to die what?! nooo not before killing homelander

Jack and Joker - I am going down with this

Stuff Listened to (that i went gaga over)-

Neva Play by Megan and RM is here and oh my KIM NAMJOON, what in the world is that legal, what's up stallion should be injected in everyone's body

[ininsulaavalonia]

SNK officially ended today and it's been a much more overwhelming experience than I would've thought. The manga left me feeling apathetic - it killed my interest in this series for what, a year? Two? So I had 0 reasons to think the anime would coax anything else out of me.

...

I was wrong. Admittedly, not like we're talking purely positive emotions here - I still have a lot of resentment, bitter regret and the itch to shake all the yens out of Isayama's pockets. But even so. I guess I should've known better - the writing has [had] its flaws. The voice acting and the music/score, tho? Never did. Not a one.

Add to that MAPPA's mindboggling dedication and passion for the craft and source material. I'm not perfectly happy with them for very biased reasons [they did away with a few of my RM crumbs], but no sane person could ever deny that they knocked it out of the fuckin park. They did all that while juggling 9620 other major franchises [and killing it there, too]. Ufotable will always be my #1, but MAPPA has come very close these past few years. Just hope everyone who worked on SNK post-changing hands gets to take pride in their work and maybe actually like.see their families or smth, lol.

But yeah - I will never be able to stress this enough: like at least 60% of the reason SNK had the ridiculous impact on me it did, of the reason it will be remembered as a classic/ legendary series, despite its flaws, of the reason precious few fictional works, irrespective of genre/medium will hope to ever even come close to the level of pure, raw exhilaration and emotional immersion SNK served on a pretty regular basis...was [and always will be] Sawano's masterpiece. Yamamoto has proven himself to be an A+ understudy/disciple 'Ashes on the Fire' will always slap], and ofc the likes of Linked Horizon, Ai Higuchi, Mika Kobayashi and all the other contributing artists deserve their fair share of laurels. But this score will always be Sawano's baby. I've a lot of comfort/fave soundtracks and the like; I can't remember one that did so much for its story, tho. Complemented its own brilliance this incandescently and profoundly.

And ofc the seiyuus were always excellent. That was not news to me. I'll always sing Kamiya's praises and keep Yui's future roles on my radar [and Marina almost stole the show here]. But most of my respect and admiration -sheer awe of, really- has to go to Yuki Kaji. He has such an incredible body of work, but I'd be shocked if people genuinely thought this, Eren's part,*wasn't* his defining performance. The role of a lifetime. It's not just his VA chops, either- the man's a pro in every sense of the word. Despite what Isayama put Eren through, despite that BS insult of an ending [painted in the most pathetic and pitiful colours, for all the world to see] that MAPPA sadly didn't alter [...made it worse, actually, what with Isayama's revisions/ additions and all] - he still gave it his all, still tried to see things through Eren's perspective to the bitter, mockable end. K I N G.

I wish I could heap this kinda praise on the writing, too. Sadly, this will stay one of my biggest frustrations and regrets re: any fictional work I've ever consumed. Isayama's expanding on the Armin-Eren heartfelt talk at the end made me feel, either successively or simultaneously. soft, emotional and mournful... and/or horrified, outraged and baffled by what his messaging seemed to make even more explicit/ double down on: that Eren, the protag the audience/readers got to see grow, the one they came to emotionally invest in? Was really just an 'idiot with too much power'. Ultra!Hitler stripped of his perceived alpha traits: just a lonely, pathetic, petulant, ridiculous *boy*. And while the 'I'll go to hell with you' spiel from Armin was one of the things that turned on the waterworks for me, I fully reject this attempt by the narrative to paint him in similar, bloodstained colours [or maybe I don't reject it - even if that were true, Armin will always be a hero to me. And sadly, my 2nd fave character after what Isayama did to Mikasa's character].

I'm just so fucking tired and angry by this nihilistic, cynical trend of backstabbing your audience/readers for the grave offence of their placing their trust in you. GOT did it first, ofc -and Isayama went 'hold my beer', apparently-. But the thing that makes this even more frustrating and painful - is that unlike those 2 fucking hacks, Isayama is an actual writer. A fantastic one / credit where credit is due [and funnier than he's usually given credit for, as the finale reminded me]. His skill isn't the issue - his cynicism / 'nothing is sacred' attitude is. The fact that he just yeets characters' dignities out the window can and has added so much heartache, tragedy and realism to his story and his overall style. But it also leads to this sort of betrayal.

I guess the underlying message of 'how to live with the horrible things you did for others/ for your own survival' is pretty hopeful. Armin's 'I felt like I was born for this moment', the ~it's the apparently pointless, little things, and the people you share them with that you have to hold on to and cherish ~ point has always, will always resonate with me. But I doubt it will ever be enough to get rid of all the bitterness [also: not even gonna get into Founder!Ymir, that shitty parallel to Mikasa, and that entire 'BECAUSE LOVE' clusterfuck. This isn't real life, Isayama. Fiction needs a why. YOU KNOW THIS]

Sigh. Anyway. In the end, even the fact that I felt this strongly, considering... is also a testament to the insane sort of impact this story is capable of. SNK -and RM [and Levi! The one good thing not even Isayama managed to taint -*...knock on wood*- That beautiful, awkward, baddest-of-the-baddies KING. The heart, soul and embodiment of the Scouting Legion-]- have meant so much to me - were a lifeline in the aftermath of the worst thing I've ever experienced. I'll never forget that sense of unique, intense exhilaration I felt while watching the first few episodes, a decade ago, in a Durham seminar room. Or the rollercoaster every feeling I'd ever had --and a buncha new ones- went on those following nights, as I binged the remaining episodes and the manga. Or RM. I wish things could have been different. But that doesn't mean I'll ever throw it out of my mental and emotional Hall of Fame. Thank God for fanfic.

That and. I *will* always carry that weight, I guess.

[lollo-sw-br]

Super Wings fan and a K-popper

I got to know Super Wings and Kpop in the year 2017, so I ended up creating some habits that are strange being a Super Wings fan that are normal in Kpop.

Please to Super Wings fans like me: don't judge me for liking Kpop, and make these habits, I know it seems strange to you, but please understand me, and this is how I show my love for them.

1. Call my favorite SW UTT

Utt (Ultimate Bias) is what K-poppers call their favorite K-idols from a Boygroup/Girlgroup or the all-time favorite of Kpop, for the K-popper community is a loving way to express your admiration for some of the South Korean entertainment industry.

I used to say to myself, that the Grand Albert (my favorite Super Wing of all) from UTT, It may seem a little strange but that's what I usually call it.

2.Create Super Wings Fandom Name, Kpop Style

Every group/band/soloist has its Fandom, and each one has a unique name with its meaning for example:

EXO-L (EXO fandom) which was created because in 2012 there were two units (division of the group), being EXO-K (EXO Korean), who would promote in Korea, singing songs in Korean Having Korean members in your Line up; And EXO-M (EXO Mandarin) promoting, singing in China and having Chinese members line up. EXO-L would be in addition to the letter L being between the letter K and M, it also symbolizes the word "Love", represented the love that fans have for the group.

And actually Super Wings has the name of its fandom, but it has fallen into disuse, that being "WINGER" and I use it a lot, I say that I am WINGER and that is a little strange in Super Wings Fandoms and that in Kpop it is normal

3. Calling Super Wings Seasons a "Comeback"

In Kpop, Comeback is when a group will release a song or a new album being awaited by K-poppers who follow a certain group/band/soloist.

When I get the news that a new season of Super Wings is coming, I say that Super Wings is preparing a new "Comeback"

4. Calling the trailer or promotional photos "Teasers"

"Teaser" in Kpop is the photos and videos that are posted before the MV (Music Video), of a certain group, band or soloist, always to know a little about the music to be released and the concept of the album.

when the official networks of Super Wings, whether on Weiboo, Instagram or Facebook, release the trailers and photos of the new season that they release, I say that "a Photo Teaser or Video Teaser has come out"

5. YG entertainment basement VS Alpha Group basement

Before BLACKPINK literally had their home, the girls slept in the basement of YG entertainment (the company that formed the group in 2016), and when a new Comeback by the group took too long to come out, it was said that the girls were in the basement waiting until YG made a new Comeback.

The Super Wings that were discarded (Bello, Todd, Flip, Mira ...) or that have very few appearances in the series (Leo, Rover, Grand Albert....), I say they are in the "basement of Alpha Group Entertainment", waiting for the goodwill of the company to release a new episode of them.

6. Hyung Line and Maknae Line.

Hyung Line: They are the oldest of the group. (Ex: Jin, Suga, RM and J-Hope are BTS's Hyung Line). While the Maknae Line: are the youngest of the group (Ex: Jimin, V and Jungkook are the Maknae Line of BTS).

I say the Hyung Line of Super Wings are (Tino, Grand Albert, Poppa Wheels, Bello, Paul...) and the Maknae Line are (Jett, Donnie, Dizzy, Jerome.....)

[rofilmmediamodular]

Thoughts on Generative Music – Part 4

And now think of other parameters organised in such spaces. Parameters concerning the timbre like filter cutoff, filter resonance, frequency ratios in FM sounds and RM sounds etc. And what about rhythmical parameters like the length of a note, where in a bar it occurs (and what about changing the measure – random polyrhythmic “clouds”) etc. And effects, well why not composing such spaces concerning delay time and delay feedback, distortion, “band” saturation and so on and so on.

By the way: these are the topics I´m talking about in depth in the second volume of my book about generative music. I´m going to bring these mesmerizing aspects into a musical, a compositional system and show legions of examples in the embedded videos. More about the (already existing) volume 1 you learn here: https://www.dev.rofilm-media.net/node/331

Both volumes – and even a third one next year – shall give you a comprehensive guide to generative music. Comprehensive, in-depth, theoretically well-grounded, but very handy and practical at the same time.

Please let me make it clear: There are more aspects of generative music than probability and randomness! Of course there are! But here in this article it´s about probability and randomness – and I´m going to talk about these two building blocks of generative music even in the following articles in this series here at my website, before I continue to aspects of structure, continuity and others.

But let me tell a bit more about the mentioned generative sequencer VST “bordL”. It´s a VCV rack module, but it covers a lot of things modern hardware sequencers have on board too. (I like showing things like generative VSTs in VCV rack, because it gives everybody the opportunity to reproduce the things I´m showing – and to make experiments of their own to find out how generative music works. VCV Rack is completely free.)

From top to bottom, you have big pitch knobs and little random pitch knobs. Then you have a secondary CV line that is linked to the "V" output with a line of big knobs for value (not quantized .. continuous voltage) and a line with small knobs for randomness. You can use that line to animate an accent or what you want. The pulse controls have small buttons to setup the probability for the gate to be opened at 100% or closed at 0%. Each step has 5 gate modes, two of which depend on the inputs G1 and G2. We can adjust and transpose certain scales, chose the number of steps (up to 16) and chose internal or external clock.

I´m going to use this sequencer quite often in this series here at my website. Therefore the next part is going to be only about “bordL” and its functionality...

… to be continued

[lunarimagines]

MOBILE MASTERLIST

I have received many requests to update my masterlist, so here it is! As of October 18, 2020...

-----

~ = TRIGGER WARNING

* = SEXUAL CONTENT

[REDBUBBLE]

-----

Kpop

+ EXO

YOU’RE THE NEW GIRL WITH A ‘BAD GIRL’ IMAGE [VERSION 1] [VERSION 2]

THEY’RE IN THE MOOD, BUT YOU’RE ON YOUR PERIOD

THEIR GIRLFRIEND IS ANEMIC  

PLAYING WITH THEIR GIRLFRIEND’S LONG HAIR

MAKING BREAKFAST WITH YOU

JONGIN REACTION TO HIS GIRLFRIEND ALWAYS ASKING PERMISSION BEFORE INITIATING SKIN SHIP

WHAT DATING JONGIN WOULD BE LIKE

WHAT DATING SEHUN WOULD BE LIKE

WHAT DATING TAO WOULD BE LIKE

WHAT DATING LUHAN WOULD BE LIKE

WHAT BEING SCHOOLMATES WITH KAI WOULD BE LIKE

LATE NIGHT LUHAN FLUFF BLURB

BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH EXO (OT12)

WOLF!CHEN

*ONLY I CAN (KYUNGSOO SMUT)

*HOW YIXING WOULD BE IN BED

*SEX WITH BAEKHYUN

WHAT DATING BAEKHYUN WOULD BE LIKE

*WHAT SEX WITH KRIS WOULD BE LIKE

*I HAVE NO REASON TO BE JEALOUS (SEHUN SMUT)

*WHAT SEX WITH JONGIN WOULD BE LIKE

WHEN YOU CONFESS TO KAI

WHEN THE MANAGERS SUGGEST HE BREAK UP WITH YOU 

*SEX WITH CHEN

*SEX WITH KYUNGSOO

*SEX WITH LUHAN

*SEX WITH SEHUN

WOLF!KAI

*SEX WITH CHANYEOL

*SEX WITH SUHO

DATING CHANYEOL

*SEX WITH TAO

*SEX WITH XIUMIN

DATING KYUNGSOO

BEING SCHOOLMATES WITH CHANYEOL

YOU HAVE BENIGN ESSENTIAL TREMOR

WOLF!BAEKHYUN

THEY FIND OUT THEY’RE DOING A ROMANTIC BALLAD WITH YOU (THEIR CRUSH)

FLUFFY XIUMIN ONE SHOT 

~YOU’RE SELF CONSCIOUS ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT 

CUDDLING WITH SUHO AND ACCIDENTALLY WAKING HIM UP

~YOUR SELF HARM COPING NOTEBOOK

YOU’RE DATING IN SECRET AND HE KISSES YOU (UNKNOWINGLY) IN FRONT OF CAMERAS 

JEALOUS!JONGIN

MARRIED LIFE WITH CHANYEOL

CUDDLING WITH KRIS AND SEHUN

*TOUCH IT [JONGDAE SMUT]

DATING KRIS [WU YIFAN]

HUSBAND!JONGIN

SECRETADMIRER!JONGIN

CUDDLING WITH EXO

THEIR GF HAD ADD

WHAT DATING JONGDAE WOULD BE LIKE

GROWING UP WITH JONGIN

YOUR CHILD CALLS HIM DAD

YOU THINK THEY ARE CHEATING

EXO REACTION TO SEEING YOU AGAIN AFTER YOU TWO BROKE UP

WHAT DATING TAO WOULD BE LIKE

WHAT DATING SUHO WOULD BE LIKE

WHAT DATING LAY WOULD BE LIKE

YOU FAINT IN HIS ARMS [CHANYEOL ANGST]

MARRIED LIFE WITH LUHAN

THE OVERLOOK [BAD!BOY CHANYEOL]

A-Z NSFW

[JONGDAE]

TEXTING

[JONGDAE]

+  BTS

YOU TELLING THEM ‘I LOVE YOU’

S/O TRIPPING OVER NOTHING

TYPE OF TUMBLR BLOG BTS WOULD HAVE

HEARING YOU SPEAK YOUR MOTHER LANGUAGE

LOSING SOMETHING OF THEIRS WHILE IN THE CAR

DANCING AND ACCIDENTALLY BREAKING THE T.V.

WATCHING A MOVIE WITH THE OTHER MEMBERS WHEN A SEXUAL SCENE COMES ON

WAKING YOU UP IN THE MORNING

~ FINDING SELF HARM SCARS ON YOUR BODY

MOVIE NIGHT WITH JUNGKOOK

WHAT DATING RM WOULD BE LIKE

WHAT DATING JUNGKOOK WOULD BE LIKE

WHAT DATING TAEHYUNG WOULD BE LIKE

WHAT DATING YOONGI WOULD BE LIKE

BEING SCHOOLMATES WITH SUGA

* VISITING NAMJOON AT THE STUDIO

BEING BEST FRIENDS (OT7)

YOU’RE AFRAID OF DOGS

YOU WATCH THEIR EVERY MOVE AT DANCE PRACTICE

YOU HATE WHEN PEOPLE TAKE PICTURES OF YOU

YOU’RE REALLY AFRAID OF BUGS

*SEX WITH JIMIN

*SEX WITH TAEHYUNG

*SEX WITH YOONGI

*SEX WITH NAMJOON

*SEX WITH JUNGKOOK

*SEX WITH JIN

*SEX WITH J-HOPE

*DO YOU WANT ME TO TEACH YOU (JIMIN SMUT)

*WATCH ME BABYGIRL [JUNGKOOK SERIES - COMPLETE] [1] [2] [3] [4] [vmin filler] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20]

WHEN I HAD YOU [JIMIN ANGST/FLUFF]

BAKING WITH JUNGKOOK

*THEIR S/O GIVING THEM A SHOW

*THIGH RIDING YOONGI

*WOULDN’T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY [NAMJOON SUGAR DADDY SMUT]

THEIR CRUSH/BEST FRIEND IS AFFECTIONATE WHEN SICK

~THEIR TEENAGE CHILD GETS IN THEIR FIRST CAR ACCIDENT

~THEY HAVE A DREAM WHERE YOU DIE

*I HATE YOU. I LOVE YOU? [JIMIN ENEMIES-TO-LOVERS SMUT]

*PHONE SEX WITH NAMJOON

THEIR S/O IS CATCALLED 

BRINGING THEIR AMERICAN S/O TO MEET THEIR PARENTS

DATING NAMJOON BUT BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH BTS

THEIR S/O TAKES THEM TO A HAUNTED HOUSE

BEING FRIENDS WITH JUNGKOOK AND YUGYEOM 

DANCING QUEEN [HOSEOK FLUFF]

*REACTION TO YOU SAYING “TAKE ME”

BTS THINKING THEIR S/O IS CHEATING

THEIR S/O IS A PICKY EATER

*BTS REACTION TO YOU GIVING THEM A SHOW

*YOONGI FWB

BTS REACTION TO YOU SITTING ON THEIR LAP…

~IF YOU’D LET ME [JIMIN ANGST]

YOU CUDDLING THEM IN YOUR SLEEP AND SAYING “I LOVE YOU”

*YOU’RE ON

THEIR S/O GETS A LIP PIERCING

DATING YOONGI BUT BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH BTS 

*YOU “FLEXING YOUR MUSCLES” 

IF SOMEBODY HAD TOLD YOU… [JUNGKOOK FLUFF]

*I WAS KIND OF HOPING THIS COULD BE YOUR PRESENT [JUNGKOOK SMUT]

BTS REACTION TO THEIR GF BRINGING THEM LUNCH

THEIR GF IS SIMILAR TO HOBI AND HAPPENS TO BE CLOSE TO HOBI

*FACE DOWN [YOONGI SMUT]

THEIR CRUSH IS DOTING/MOTHERLY

*YOU MOAN THEIR NAME DURING SEX

*YOU WANT SEX WHILE THEY’RE WORKING

*PHONE SEX WITH YOONGI

*REVERSING ROLES [YOONGI SMUT]

JEALOUS!YOONGI

BTS REACTION TO YOU HIDING YOUR SMILE WHEN YOU LAUGH

EYE ON THE TARGET (JUNGKOOK) [1] [2]

SEOKJIN AS YOUR SUGAR DADDY

BTS REACTION TO THEIR S/O CUPPING THEIR FACE AND KISSING THEM

~BTS REACTION TO THEIR FRIEND NOT BEING COMFORTABLE WITH THEIR BODY SIZE

TEXTING

[JIN] [JIMIN] [TAEHYUNG] [SUGA] [J HOPE] [RAP MONSTER] [JUNGKOOK] BESTFRIEND!JUNGKOOK HIGHSCHOOL!BTS FUCKBOY!YOONGI

SNAPS

[TAEHYUNG]

A-Z NSFW

[JUNGKOOK] [YOONGI]

+ ATEEZ

CONDITIONALLY YOURS (Seonghwa) [1]

ATEEZ REACTION TO ANOTHER MEMBER WALKING IN ON THE TWO OF YOU MAKING OUT [1] [2]

ATEEZ REACTION TO BEING JEALOUS OF ANOTHER MEMBER GETTING CLOSE TO THEIR S/O

+ INFINITE

YOU TALK ABOUT SEX

+ BOYFRIEND

THEY ALL LOVE THE SAME GIRL

ACCEPTING AN AWARD YOU

YOU THREATENING TO FIGHT THE CEO IF THEY DON’T GET A COMEBACK

VALENTINES DAY WITH KWANGMIN

*SEX WITH DONGHYUN

+ MISS A

GOING INTO TOWN WITH YOU

+ MONSTA X

THEY ACCIDENTALLY HUG YOUR SISTER INSTEAD OF YOU

*SEX WITH MINHYUK

SINGING A BALLAD WITH THEIR CRUSH

MARRIED LIFE WITH SHOWNU

REACTION TO THEIR GF AND ANOTHER MEMBER…

BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH MONSTA X 

THEIR GF IS OLDER THAN THEM

ANNOYING THEIR MEMBERS BY SHOWING PDA WITH THEIR S/O

THEIR GF GIVES THEM A MASSAGE FOR THE FIRST TIME

*RETURN THE FAVOR [KIHYUN SMUT]

DATING IN SECRET WHEN HE ACCIDENTALLY KISSES YOU IN FRONT OF CAMERAS

*YOU SAY THEY HAVE A SMALL DICK DURING A FIGHT

WHAT DATING IM WOULD BE LIKE

TELLING HIM YOU’RE A VIRGIN BEFORE THE TWO OF YOU HAVE SEX

*HE WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE IF YOU HADN’T... [KIHYUN SMUT]

YOU HUG THEM FROM BEHIND AND ACCIDENTALLY GRAB THEIR CROTCH

MARRIED LIFE WITH JOOHEON

*SEX WITH IM

MARRIED LIFE WITH IM

*SEX WITH HYUNGWON

*SEX WITH KIHYUN

*SEX WITH JOOHEON

*SEX WITH SHOWNU

*SEX WITH WONHO

MONSTA X REACTION TO THEIR S/O HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK

*THIGH RIDING MONSTA X

+ GOT7

*SEX WITH JACKSON

*SEX WITH JUNIOR

*SEX WITH MARK

*SEX WITH JAEBUM

YOU WEAR THEIR SWEATER, YELL “KISS ME”, THEN RUN AWAY

*SEX WITH YUGYEOM 

LIVING WITH BESTFRIEND!JACKSON

THEIR GF HAS SWEATER PAWS

GOT7 AS FATHERS 

BEING FRIENDS WITH JUNGKOOK AND YUGYEOM 

*THEIR GF KNOWS HOW TO DEEPTHROAT

YUGYEOM DATING AN OLDER WOMAN

YOU’RE DATING MARK AND THE OTHER MEMBERS ARE JEALOUS

*SINCERELY, YOUR NEW FWB [YUGYEOM SMUT]

*REACTION TO THEIR GF WANTING TO BE SPANKED

JACKSON HAVING A CRUSH ON YOU

*I DIDN’T HAVE TIME FOR “CLASSY” [JAEBUM SMUT]

*SEX WITH YOUNGJAE

YOU’RE SICK BUT DON’T WANT TO WORRY THEM SO YOU KEEP IT A SECRET

DATING JAEBUM AND BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH GOT7

BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH GOT7

TELLING HIM YOU’RE A VIRGIN BEFORE THE TWO OF YOU HAVE SEX

*SEX WITH BAMBAM

TEXTS

BESTFRIEND!JACKSON

SNAPS

[JINYOUNG]

+ C-CLOWN (DISBANDED)

*SEX WITH ROME

DATING CHRISTIAN YU [ROME]

+RED VELVET

YOU CALL THEM YOUR BEST FRIEND

*AN OVERWHELMING FEELING [IRENE SMUT]

+ INFINITE 

*SEX WITH MYUNGSOO

TELLING HIM YOU’RE A VIRGIN BEFORE THE TWO OF YOU HAVE SEX

+ IKON

*SEX WITH HANBIN

*SEX WITH DONGHYUK

“I DIDN’T LOVE YOU” [DONGHYUK FLUFF]

*SEX WITH JUNHOE 

*SEX WITH BOBBY

+ NCT

SOULMATE!MARK

WHAT DATING LUCAS WOULD BE LIKE

STUDY DATE WITH JUNGWOO

NCT 127 + JENO REACTION TO THEIR S/O BEING 160CM

EXCUSES, EXCUSES [HAECHAN FLUFF]

NCT DREAM REACTION TO THEIR GF BEING 165-170CM TALL

~NCT DREAM REACTION TO THEIR GF BECOMING DEPRESSED BECAUSE HER PARENTS ARE GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE

TEN TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION

WHAT DATING MARK WOULD BE LIKE

DATING TAEYONG

DATING JOHNNY (NCT)

FAKE TEXTS

BESTFRIEND -> BOYFRIEND MARK

WISHING MARK A HAPPY BIRTHDAY

[DONGHYUCK]

TWO WRONGS MAKE… A COUPLE? [Prince!Renjun] [1] [2]

+ F(X)

THEIR S/O HAS FIBROMYALGIA 

*SEX WITH AMBER

+ BLACKPINK

BARISTA!ROSÉ

WHAT DATING LISA WOULD BE LIKE

YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON ROSÉ

+ BLOCK B

*SEX WITH PARK KYUNG

+ DAY6

*TENDER LOVE AND AFTERCARE [BRIAN/YOUNG K SMUT]

DATING DOWOON

+ PENTAGON

WHAT DATING WOOSEOK WOULD BE LIKE

+ SHINee [NO LONGER WRITING FOR]

BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH MINHO

LIVING WITH BESTFRIEND!KIBUM

SECRETLY DATING WHEN THEY ACCIDENTALLY KISS YOU IN FRONT OF CAMERAS 

SINGING A ROMANTIC BALLAD WITH THEIR CRUSH

THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON THE SAME IDOL

BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH SHINee

THEIR REACTION TO YOU CRYING

BEING SCHOOLMATES WITH TAEMIN

GROWING UP WITH TAEMIN

YOUR CHILD CALLS HIM DAD

+ TWICE

*WHAT DATING JIHYO WOULD BE LIKE

FIRST KISSES WITH TWICE

STUCK IN TRAFFIC WITH TWICE

*SEX WITH MINA (TWICE)

+ GIRLS GENERATION [SNSD]

DATING TIFFANY

THEY FIND A GUY NAKED BY ACCIDENT

THEY FIND TAENY KISSING ROMANTICALLY

SOMEONE FLIRTS WITH THEIR SECRET GIRLFRIEND

THEIR BEST FRIEND IS HEARTBROKEN OVER A BOY

+ MAMAMOO

THEY ARE JEALOUS 

AND THEN… [MOONBYUL SMUT] [2]

+ SEVENTEEN

YOU’RE A TRAINEE UNDER PLEDIS

SUCK IT UP [JUN ANGST/FLUFF]

“IT’S TIME” [CHAN FLUFF]

*SEX WITH MINGYU

+ VIXX

THEIR GF HAS WAVY/CURLY HAIR

TELLING THEM YOU’RE A VIRGIN BEFORE THE TWO OF YOU HAVE SEX

+ ASTRO 

REACTION TO YOU SQUISHING THEIR CHEEKS

SNAPS

SANHA X CUTE

+ 2NE1

YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON CL

+ SISTAR

BEING YOUR BEST FRIEND IN SCHOOL

+ X1

GOING THROUGH A HAUNTED HOUSE WITH BF!HANGYUL

T.V. SERIES:

TWD

TELLING CARL YOU LOVE HIM

TEEN WOLF

SCOTT MCCALL

UNDERCOVER IDIOTS [PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3]

DEREK HALE 

INDISCREET JEALOUSY

COME ON CINDERELLA

*SOLID ALIBI

I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS

DON’T DRINK THE ORANGE JUICE

THE MURDER OF THE BETRAYER [PART 1] [PART 2]

ISAAC LAHEY

I HAPPEN TO LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU

I’LL TAKE THAT CHANCE

STILES STILINSKI 

VALENTINE’S DAY

PRANK WAR

TVD

DAMAN SALVATORE

VICTORIAN ERA ROMANCE

~FINDING OUT ABOUT YOUR ANOREXIA

SUPERNATURAL

DEAN 

HUNTING HAS ITS PERKS

PROPOSING TO YOU

BLUSH

BANDS:

5SOS

BLURBS:

ASHTON IRWIN 

FRATBOY! ASHTON

CALUM HOOD 

ROUND TWO

MICHAEL CLIFFORD 

LATE NIGHT

BIRTHDAY AU MEME (AKA MY VERY FIRST IMAGINE EVER ON THIS BLOG)

LUKE HEMMINGS 

WHAT DATING LUKE WOULD BE LIKE

IMAGINES:

CALUM HOOD 

*SAVING WATER

4/4

HE FINDS OUT YOU’RE REALLY TICKLISH

1D

HARRY STYLES 

I’LL BE THOR

MOVIES:

THE OUTSIDERS

SODAPOP

~SODAPOP FINDING OUT ABOUT YOUR DEPRESSION

THE AVENGERS

THOR

BEING ABLE TO LIFT THOR’S HAMMER

YOUTUBE

BEING BEST FRIENDS WITH DAN AND PHIL

[ruiyuki]

"Vanitas": The Name and Legacy

Vanitas declares early on that his motive for using the Book of Vanitas to save vampires of the Red Moon is to take "revenge against the Vampire of the Blue Moon". But some of his actions, reactions and expressions seem to contradict a conventional interpretation of "revenge". Seeing how MochiJun is a master of conveying things through facial expressions, nondescript panels, and double meanings, here's my stab at trying to figure out a bit of Vanitas' complexity and his (??hidden??) motives.

⚠️⚠️⚠️ MANGA SPOILERS, obv ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Also this analysis is really long. ‼Continuation in reblogs.‼

For the sake of minimizing confusion I'm going to refer to our!Vanitas as "Vani", Vampire of the Blue Moon (VotBM) as "Luna", and the name "Vanitas"/"Vanitas of the Blue Moon" as a title in this analysis.

0. "Revenge" against the VotBM

Now, what kicked me into this train of thought initially was watching the scene where Vani announces his revenge plot to all during the Bal Masque. Ofc Bones is doing quite a good job with the anime (I can honestly forgive them for leaving out some scenes knowing budget constraints and that this was probably produced during COVID; it's just more reason to get viewers to read the manga) but there are still some subtle nuances that MochiJun puts in her work that don't get translated into the adaptation. So I revisited Memoire 7 and something just didn't sit right upon looking at that scene retrospectively – which I'll get to that in a bit – but first let me recap what is my interpretation of Vani's proclamation:

The origin story we were told at the start of the series illustrates that vampires are typically born under the Red Moon, except for the one born under the Blue Moon. VotBM, given the moniker "Vanitas of the Blue Moon" by others at the time, is said to have created the Book of Vanitas capable of manipulating the World Formulas in order to curse all the RM vampires that casted them out of vampire society. Cursing the RM vampires = turning them into curse-bearers inflicted with malnomen.

Vani's "revenge" against the VotBM is to use their name "Vanitas" and the Book to cure all RM vampires of their curses and malnomen. In that sense, Vani saving the vampires is directly opposing the vow to curse all RM vampires as told in the VotBM origin story.

Vani's revenge claim seems pretty straight forward. There is nothing of the sort as to claiming he will turn the vampires into humans, or rewrite their existence into something they are not, etc. It is literally just "I will heal you from your sickness out of spite towards the thing that wants you to suffer". His feral revenge proclamation on top of the chandelier lines up with his feral "I will save you no matter what, using whatever method I choose" at the end of Memoire 1 as Noé points out:

So here's the thing that felt a little out of place upon my rereading of Memoire 7:

This panel. Idk about you but as a long time reader of Pandora Hearts, imo one thing that makes MochiJun such a talented artist and great storyteller of plot twists and angst is how she depicts emotions in facial expressions – it is very subtle with a certain finesse. With the above panel, Vani's expression doesn't necessarily look like "anger" or "vengeance" to me. Rather (and it took me a while to place it actually, flipping back and forth between newer and older chapters) his expression looks... melancholic? Melancholy with sense of conviction.

It's noteworthy that MochiJun has made an intentional choice to emphasize Vani gripping his closed fist and his distant stare here, so it has to be important. So, what could Vani be thinking of in this moment? And why?

I. Vani's hidden expressions and feelings towards Luna

To (attempt to) figure out what might be going through Vani's mind in this moment, let's take a look at some moments we've seen Vani making different expressions and when he's thinking back to the VotBM – or really, his time with Luna. Vani claims he hates vampires, but there are obvious exceptions (Jeanne, Noé). What's interesting though is that, despite claiming to hate the VotBM, I don't think he hates Luna. He may hate the being that Luna is but I don't think he hates Luna as a person.

We can see the difference between his hatred and active desire to kill Moreau, as well as his completely blank, no-remorse kinda expression toward the Chasseur's cross in the Catacombes arc vs the above panel after his revenge proclamation:

Also contrast the above chandelier expression to Vani's empty look of distain in Dante's flashback when they first meet:

I would say none of these Vani expressions look very similar to the chandelier one — the empty or blank stares are missing a sense of resolve and the teeth-gritting smirk lacks any bit of sadness felt in the scene. Now, when do we ever see Vani make another expression of what I would call melancholy?

Ughghgh these panels break my heart every time bc there is such a sense of sadness, it's distant but palpable and it is t r a g i c... but I digress.

We have no way of knowing what Vani is thinking in these panels but I have a few ideas:

Vani thinks back to something Luna said about how one should use the Book of Vanitas when Noé says using the Book's power to cure curse-bearers is "overwhelmingly right". What Luna said? Who knows, but it may be along the same lines of "despite its power" and "doing the right thing".

Vani realizes the reason Misha wants Noé to drink his blood is bc Misha doesn't remember what happened That Day. He repeats "... I see." twice as if he's reaffirming to himself that he's the only one left that remembers what happened. If Misha did remember, there would be another person to share the memory but Misha doesn't and Vani is alone in the world in that sense.

If we are to assume that this is what's going through Vani's mind in these moments, then we have to ask why? Vani thinking back to his time with Misha and Luna elicits this sadness (possibly likely?) bc Vani did truly enjoy his time with them and didn't actually hate Luna. In his own flashbacks of Luna teaching he and Misha about malnomen (first being Malnomen Prèdateur in the Catacombes arc, second of Chloé's Malnomen Millie) and the flashback of "love" during the Gevaudan Arc, we see that Vani may be grumpy or indifferent while being with Luna, but he is still attentively listening and comfortable enough around them for them to hug him:

Ofc, we can't forget that Vani, in his fever and poison-induced delirium, even mumbles to himself ".. didn't actually hate... I didn't... Lou..—" while recovering in the cabin with Jeanne. Given that just before this he asks "Is that what you really want? Truly?" in response to Jeanne saying "This time for sure, I'll kill the beast", perhaps we can even posit that Vani didn't actually hate Luna and didn't actually want to kill them? (I have another theory on what could have happened on That Day but let's get through this one first *wheeze*).

So let's summarize:

Vani claims he will cure RM vampires of their malnomen as revenge toward the VotBM, who is said to have created the Book of Vanitas to curse RM vampires that made them an outcast.

Curing RM vampires of malnomen = revenge since it is directly opposing using the Book to inflict curses

But Vani shows a look of sadness mixed with conviction that contradicts what would be thought of when claiming "revenge", which could possibly be him thinking back to his time with Luna, whom he did not actually hate and possibly did not want to kill but had to anyway.

So here's my theory: the reason why Vani has assumed the name "Vanitas" and is on a quest to cure RM vampires of their malnomen with the Book of Vanitas is to "rewrite" the reputation behind the name Vanitas of the Blue Moon.

... And I will continue explaining this in the reblogs ⤵️⤵️⤵️ bc holy fuck this meta is so long I have reached the image limit per post asjfklgs

[lesbianchemicalplant]

Text of tweet thread by Anthony DellaRosa @ifeelthewind, Jan 4th 2020 [cw: Contrapoints, transphobia, biphobia, doxxing, abuse, harassment, K*w*f*rms, etc. etc. etc. etc.]

Well, it's been a solid two days of waking fucking nightmares, and also the regular kind.

So, let's talk about it. Contra's got me actively fearing for myself, and also for my family (and here's how). Alternate title:

Contra told a *million* people that I "might be" a Nazi who's "just pretending to be trans."

Now, keep in mind, Contra's a relatively wealthy woman with just over 800,000 YouTube subscribers and almost 11,000 paying patrons. Meanwhile, I have 662 Twitter followers and holes in my mouth where teeth used to be.

Anyway, in her video, at 33:35, she quotes a series of three consecutive tweets of mine, starting here.

So, um, I've actually had her blocked for a long, long time. Definitely at least a year. Maybe two.

So, the fact that she was able to see these tweets at all, to begin with, means that she was namesearching *around* my block, specifically trawling for content. Which is a hell of a thing.

Like, I blocked her because over the course of a couple years, her work became just incredibly fucking triggering for me. But she's so fucking omnipresent in pretty much *every* online trans space, it's basically impossible to fully escape her stuff. So, the block was there to give me at least *some* protection against being blindsided? For a while, I also actually muted her name.

But here we are.

Also, I feel like, after a certain point, she must have been watching *me*, very specifically, because, later in the video, she also quotes *this* tweet, which got literally *five* fucking retweets in its *entire* fucking lifetime, and also contains no big, hot, easily searchable keywords. 

I mean, unless she was fucking sitting here, combing through literally *every single fucking mention* of "Olly" or "Philosophytube" or "trans people." Put a pin in that. Anyway, Contra reads my tweets about Buck Angel's famously petty, spiteful act of transphobic violence against Lana Wachowski, which, yes, could have *easily* gotten her killed, and argues that we shouldn't care. In fact, not only should we not care -- we shouldn't even check to see if it's true.

Because that "reminds" her of what "creepy stalkers who hate trans people do." You know, digging through the archives, looking for dirt. But let me remind you, Buck's comments exist in the media because he *sold them to the media*. He deliberately went on a fucking tear through the entire fucking tabloid circuit, eventually reaching as high as Rolling fucking Stone. He "exposed" Lana, very, very publicly, specifically to punish her. *Doing* that is apparently fine, whatever. Be a guest on my fucking YouTube show. Let me gush and gush and *gush* about your fucking "decades" of "good trans activism" (with absolutely no specifics). But *talking* about the actual, historical fact that he *did* do that, a simple acknowledgement of the fucking harm, is abusive and stalker-ish? I'm sorry, *how* did you get to my tweets again? So, immediately after featuring and responding to three of my tweets, she asks the audience,

"How can you tell the difference between a trans anarcho socialist with an anime avatar, and a Nazi *pretending* to be a trans anarcho socialist with an anime avatar?" "Well," she says, "you can't. Anonymous is anonymous is anonymous, whether it's on 4chan or Twitter."

And I'm honestly not sure she's still talking about me at this point? Because literally none of those things apply to me?

1) I don't specifically identify as an anarcho socialist. I don't specifically identify as *any* particular political micro label. I just don't really find it useful.

2) This account has *never* been anonymous. It has *always* had my name on it.

3) This is not an anime avatar. This is something I drew in, like, 2015, when I was playing around with a bunch of different brushes in FireAlpaca.

4) Although I don't use them as my avatar, I *have* posted selfies here.

5) If I *did* use them as my avatar, well, you didn't fucking censor anyone's avatars in this video. Not even the ones that actually *are* real people's actual photos. So, if my face *was* my avatar, you would have just shown my face to a *million* people and counting, *immediately* before saying I might be a Nazi *and* a fake trans person.

You want to talk about abusive, TERF-y tactics? How about that?

How about stalking the tweets of an autistic trans person with 600 followers, screencapping them out of context, broadcasting them to a literal fucking *million* a *million* of your own fucking fans, and telling them all that the autistic trans person is the "real" Nazi and also maybe not even really trans? How about fucking that? Like, I'm not sure if you *are* talking about me, because, factually, all of this is fucking bullshit. But it certainly *sounds* like you're talking about me.

'Cause you haven't changed gears at all. I'm still the last person you quoted, you're still in the same "bit," and you're still responding to the thing I brought up. Like, really, this has two potential outcomes.

a) People take what you're saying at absolute face value and cheer you on as you take down the faceless fake trans person you've turned me into, or

b) They Google the tweets you so, *so* helpfully provided the *full* fucking text for, find my actual Twitter page, and then, whoops, all of a sudden, I have Contra stans on my Twitter page.

Like, let me lay this out. Those tweets in the video have all been up for two months already. They've been up. They've been out there. They've been seen. They're old news, more or less. And, yes, when they were new, I got hate. Yes, I got abuse. Yes, I even got other big YouTubers, reactionary dipshits like Peter Coffin and shoe0nhead, "liking" posts that talked shit about me. (That's why I went ahead and blocked as many of Peter's followers as it would let me).

But nothing like this.

I've been in protected mode for two days straight.

Nothing's ever done that before.

Nothing's ever been that bad.

Not till this.

Not till you.

Did being featured in Contra's video result in a noticeable uptick in abuse and harassment directed my way?

Unmistakably, yes.

And I was soon as I went protected on Twitter, it started flowing over into my Tumblr. And that put me in the position of wondering where it was going to stop. Were they going to get my phone number? My address? My work?

Fun thoughts.

Fun, fun things I have to live with now. She closes out this segment by telling me, or this hypothetical thing she's created adjacent to me,

"Shut up and go back to K*w*f*rms, where you belong."

So.

Let me tell you.

I've never checked, because I know I wouldn't be able to handle if it I did, but I wouldn't be surprised if K*w*f*rms actually *had* a page about me.

I don't *know*. I don't *want* to know. But I wouldn't be super fucking surprised. [cw: suicide]

I'm autistic. I'm trans. I've always been *very* online, growing up, and for pretty much my entire fucking life (at least for the chunk of it that I can actually remember), I've had groups of people trying to goad me into suicide. I've seen whole fucking group chats where they fucking plan it.

So, yeah. I wouldn't be surprised. If I didn't have one before, I probably fucking do now. Oh, and then she notes,

"I'm saying this in the c*ntiest way. And they deserve it! They deserve the c*ntiness!" Gosh, I wonder why my DMs across two sites are full of abuse right now. Anyway, I can feel myself fading fast.

I might come back and talk about that Olly thing we put a pin in later.

Or I might just go on protected again.

We'll see how this shakes out. 

The fucking disgusting hypocrisy of Natalie Wynn of all people saying “Shut up and go back to K*w*f*rms, where you belong” when she by her own admission was raised on 4chan’s /lgbt/

As the linked facebook post summarizes:

“You want to talk about cancel culture and online mobs and disposability?Then let's talk about how ContraPoints just sicced days of harassment and stalking on a low profile trans person with no power, no money, no fame, and said something that will only certainly result in them getting a dedicated KiwiF page. She's going to get someone fucking killed (if she hasn't already)”

[lost-sunset-canine]

tw : s/lfh/rm (?)

Some of you may know that i have a series called "A full canvas" , a series of poems that handle different aspects of my life as a system and my inner world on my journey i had to fight many struggles, and i still am struggling with things like self destructive behavior and all , those poems tho show that im eventually making progress, making a change, able to take one step at a time through all of this, foxes and wolves have been comfort animals, and animals i and my system mostly identify with, or well kitsune cuz magic be like ":sparkles: uwu" my child who is also a system and my partner system also heavily is made of kitsune and such, so he decided to design a tattoo which is this :

^^^^^^ All credits for this picture go to him @ame-baby it inspired me to do my own version, changing some things etc as you can see in my version (the first picture)

here is a comparison of my childs and my version of the tattoo idea I included the semicolon ";" since i connect my history of sh etc with this and its one of the symbols commonly used for it I'm in general quite proud of how it came out, and will eventually get it as a tattoo for myself :D -dairiem

[deja-you]

The RMS Titanic (and other ships that pass in the night)

t. jefferson x reader

part nine | the collision of heaven and earth

summary: you know your relationship with Thomas will only be a fleeting memory, but you allow your lives to collide nonetheless. 

word count: 1.2k

masterlist | series masterlist | previous | next

You and Thomas are experts at orbiting around each other until you eventually collide. The collision is inevitable; you’ve learned this much about the two of you. Somehow you always find your way back to each other. Knowing this, when you end up at his Parisian mansion, you don’t want to waste any time. Who knows how long you’ll have him for this time?

He asks you and Lafayette to stay for dinner, and you’re too eager to say yes. Lafayette says he has to get back home to his wife and children, but you think he’s noticed the tension between you and Thomas and doesn’t want to be around when everything unfolds.

Thomas bids Lafayette farewell and lets his staff leave for the weekend. When it’s just the two of you left, he leads you to the rather spacious kitchen where you sit at the counter.

“Are you hungry?” He asks while rifling through the fridge.

“No,” you reply with a shrug. Thomas turns around to study you and a smile tugs at the corners of your lips.

“Yes, you are,” he says. He knows your tells, he knows that you would politely decline food even if you were famished in a show of politeness. Thomas pulls out a bottle of wine from a rack and begins to heat a skillet on the stove.

“You’re reading The Divine Comedy?” You ask while he works in the kitchen.

“Mmhmm.”

“Re-reading it, then?”

“In Italian,” he says simply.

You raise an eyebrow and pull your bottom lip into your mouth with your teeth while you think. “But this isn’t your first time reading The Divine Comedy in Italian.”

“You remember?” Thomas grins. “Lafayette picked up an early edition from Florence, Alighieri’s hometown. Thought it would be a nice addition to my collection.”

You and Thomas fall back into an easy conversation, picking up where you left off years ago. Sitting with him in his Paris kitchen feels like a win, like a victory after a hard-fought battle. But with all the years lost to timing and secrets, if this is a victory, you’ve decided it’s a pyrrhic one. Too much of yourselves have been lost for this to be worth anything.

He finishes preparing the food and sets a plate in front of you. It’s good food, Thomas has always been a good cook, but you don’t pay much mind to it. You’re too focused on memorizing every inch of this space, looking for fragments of Thomas in everything you see. If he leaves you again, you want to be able to remember the dim lighting of his Paris kitchen and the way his shoulders sag under an unbearable weight that you asked him not to share with you.

The dishes are soaking in the sink now. Thomas and you abandon the kitchen for his more comfortable study. It’s littered with books and papers, a fact he apologizes for, but you say you don’t mind. It’s very him. You like it.

The only light comes from a lamp on Thomas’s desk and the large fireplace in the corner of the room, casting shadows across your face. Thomas has pushed a series of papers off of a loveseat to make room for you to sit, and he leans against his desk, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it.

“Those will kill you,” you tell him.

Thomas releases a puff of smoke and smiles at you. “So I’ve been told.”

He raises the cigarette to his lips again and shakes his head. “This isn’t going to kill me.”

“No?”

“No.”

Something else is killing him. You see it in the way he avoids your gaze and in the way his hands shake just slightly when they’re not holding yours and in the way he forces his lips into an eternal melancholic smile. And it’s killing you to see him this way.

Your fingers close around a pile of paperwork and set them in a neat pile on the ground. Your hand slides over the smooth fabric of the loveseat and you nod for him to join you. You want him close to you, and Thomas has always been willing to indulge in your desires. It doesn’t take much coaxing, and soon he has found his place beside you.

Neither of you have the energy to pretend like you’re only friends; you’ve waited too long to see him again to wait any longer. You drape an arm around his shoulders, and one of his large hands finds its place on your thigh. No, not friends, just two lovers who don’t know how to be anything else.

His face is inches away from yours now, illuminated by the diminishing flames in the fireplace. The room is dark, his features are dark, but you would recognize his face in the dark and in brightness. You would recognize him after years and in joy and in anger. All this because you have seen him in all of this.

You’re so close to him now, you can feel his breath hot on your skin. He’s pulling you into him, but just before his lips meet yours’ he pauses. Thomas’s eyes meet yours; they’re dark and desperate, but you can tell he’s holding himself back. He wants you, but he’s waiting for you to give any indication that you want him too. You hold his gaze and silently nod. Thomas doesn’t hesitate once you’ve given your permission, using his fingers to guide your lips to his.

The kiss you’ve spent months – years – romanticizing lives up to your imagination. In fact, it’s far better than anything your subconscious could dream up. Thomas is firm, but it is in no way desperate or juvenile. Every touch of his fingers and every tilt of his head is intentional, like he’s scripted this very moment out in his head for years.

Maybe he has.

Everything good of the Earth and Heavens, of the night and day, of the darkness and light, meet with Thomas’s hands on your skin. You don’t know how you could’ve lived this long without feeling this way, and despite not knowing how you can live without his lips on yours, you pull away and root yourself in some form of cold reality.

You’re trying to figure out how to breathe again, and the thought occurs to you that the only reason you’ve stopped kissing him is because you never want to stop kissing him. An oxymoron, really, but it all starts making sense to you now. You don’t want Thomas to pass through your life again, and the only way you can justify staying is if you know the truth. Perhaps you won’t forgive him for the truth; but if you can, you won’t have to say goodbye to him again. You don’t think you can say goodbye to him again.

“Thomas.” His name spoken from your lips comes out breathy and hoarse. You run a hand through your hair in a pointless attempt to collect yourself. “Tell me what happened on the sailboat. Tell me everything.”

A heavy silence falls in the inches between the two of you. His swollen lips parted, and you think for a moment he’s going to tell you no. Thomas shuts his eyes tightly, and when he opens them again, he gives you a small nod.

“Alright.” He turns to face you, eyes reaching out to your own. Thomas smiles a little. “Where to begin?”

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