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#Rosalie hale
therealvinelle · 1 day
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I love the Agatha Christie question!
Who are your HP/Twilight faves in the Christie universe? (Who’s the opportunist who knows too much and dies for it? Who’s the conman killer who courts the girl to avoid suspicion? Who’s just trying to take a holiday and gets caught-up in a murder? Who are the dynamic mystery-solving duo who realize they are in love by the end of the novel? etc.).
I mean, that is kind of what The Man Who Would Be King (and secret fic) (both cowritten with @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin) have already become. We have our murder victim, Alphard, a very rich man with a colorful family, and possibly his sister, we have our unlikely detectives in Voldemort, Lily Potter, and Alphard himself. It may not be the center of the story but it's a large part of it.
In other words my answer for Harry Potter would somehow spoil all my present and future fics so I won't.
As for the Twilight version...
I vote we do it wealthy dysfunctional family style, it's most natural.
A patriarch is poisoned
Carlisle Cullen, a very wealthy man with powerful enemies, nonetheless dear to those around him and blessed with more friends than most, is found dead in his office one morning. Cause of death? Murder.
The police, caught on the detail that Dr. Cullen was a vampire and vampires are real, what the fuck is this on the doctor's autopsy table and is he going to wake up again and drink all our blood?, are little use in the investigation. Scotland Yard is soon brought in, and using Chief Swan's connections with the family they get a better picture of Dr. Cullen's life.
His family wasn't looking to inherit him anytime soon, as he was immortal. None of them were having money troubles however, all were independently wealthy.
He had made enemies of a thousand-year-old clan of powerful vampires, who on hearing that his murder is being investigated like this get very upset. Supposedly the victim lived with them in his youth (and inspector Craddock cries when he learns the timeline for this murder goes back to the 1600s. Are they going to have to bring historians in on this murder??), he might have known something
Oh what's that? The victim had a whole network of friends across the globe, who are all killers, and he knew everyone's secrets? ... do we have the budget to investigate this?
The victim was also living next to a tribe of magical shapeshifting wolves evolved specifically to kill his kind. They liked him best and had a line in their treaty that "he dies last". Not sure what to do with this information
Rosalie Hale missing person case from 1933 solved: Carlisle Cullen adopted her. Was she recognised, did someone piece it together, and was Carlisle killed in retribution?
The victim lived a fake life of fake papers. Could be important, except it's the most normal thing about this case.
The police wonder how this man didn't get murdered sooner, and are stretched so thin the investigation is going slowly.
So, Renesmee gets to be our plucky detective du jour, as she decides to see if she can help. Surely there is no harm in her poking around, and she's well liked around the vampire world so there might be answers she can get that human police can't, partly because policemen keep getting eaten.
She slowly narrows it down to the horrible realization that it was someone in the family, and she learns terrible things.
Jasper Hale wasn't Jasper Hale at all! He was a friend of Jasper's in the newborn army who wanted a new life, and who in the wake of Jasper's suden and unexpected death assumed his identity. He had Peter bite his entire face so he'd be scarred like Jasper had been, and vouch for this blond vampire most definitely being Jasper Hale. Peter later had to die because he Knew Too Much, and so did Charlotte, regrettably. Fake Jasper did however not kill Carlisle.
Edward seems a prime suspect, he is an angry and resentful young man who acts out. Everyone thinks he did it, and that Bella should certainly marry Jacob, the safer option. Much upheaval is had, however, once Renesmee is able to clear Edward's name and he meaningfully links arms with Bella. They sail off into the sunset with their inheritance.
Rosalie is a beautiful, cold, intimidating woman, the femme fatale sort who's surely conniving. It's a bit of a mystery why she married that poor fool Emmett, but it's clear to all she doesn't love him. No clear motive from her, other than the money she would inherit, but she's just so suspicious. Her alibi is ambiguous, she claims she was with Esme and Emmett but what if Esme and Emmett are lying to protect their daughter and wife? Superintendent Battle wonders about that.
Renesmee is at a loss.
And then she realizes that it's not Rosalie who acts like she doesn't love Emmett, it's Emmett who acts like he doesn't love her! And Esme's grieving widow act is just that, it's an act!
Renesmee realizes that Emmett and Esme are lovers, and killed Carlisle together. Esme committed it while Emmett tricked Rosalie into giving her an alibi. Renesmee realizes this once she has a "But Rosalie couldn't have seen Esme from that angle!" moment.
The plan was too pin Rosalie for the murder, see her hanged, and then in due time the mourning widowers would marry, happily entitled to all the money they couldn't have touched if they'd divorced. Also Rosalie was Catholic so she wouldn't have agreed to a divorce.
The two lovers are confronted, and Esme pulls out a tiny pearl-studded gun from her shoe, says "We tried, my love. I regret nothing" before shooting first Emmett, then herself.
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whitedemon-ladydeath · 5 months
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I love u angry female characters. I love u deeply misunderstood and problematic female characters. I love u cold hearted and sharp female characters. I love you prideful and reckless female characters. I love u unbeautifly destructive female characters. I love u prickly and snarky female characters. not everyone understands u but I do and I'm listening
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queertwilight · 1 year
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as someone who has moved to a smaller city (30K people in total) for grad school, i would like to say twilight is wrong. the smaller the population the more people know you. i went to a cafe twice and they already know my order. 1000% everyone in forks knows the cullens are vampires and are just too entertained by how bad they are at acting normal to break it to them
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edwardsdeathcabcd · 6 months
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what makes me actually boil with rage is the way it’s framed as though jacob & the cullens have an even rivalry and like, he hates them just as much as they hate him, but like… jacob is a lower class kid who lives on the rez, the cullens live in a plantation home on private property. jacob calling alice a leech is an insult, but alice calling him a mongrel calls into power and privilege, ya know. like am i supposed to honestly think jake making blonde jokes to rosalie (which is certainly sexist and uncalled for) is on the same level as her serving him food in a dog dish? him seeing the cullens as bloodsuckers and murderers is just like, incorrect and unfair, but them seeing him as uncivilized and over-aggressive has implications deeply rooted in the oppression of his people
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homodotus · 4 months
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hey me and my girlfriend saw you from across the parking lot and we really fucking hate your vibe. i’m going to hit you with my mercedes
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thebullensshitposting · 9 months
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We all get wet when it rains because the guys are too tall for this car.
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We can't. Close. The roof.
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forkswashington · 9 months
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the entire population of deer in forks after another long hard day of avoiding the cullens in the woods
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mochikofi · 9 months
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Jasper Hale being your boyfriend
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Boy let me tell you... This dude is a SIMP. He always wait for you after class and he always carry your things. He's basically your personal bodyguard and boyfriend.
He's not a fan of PDA that much but when you're both alone he will straight up hug you, but not too tight... He's afraid that he will hurt you.
He rarely gets jealous because he knows that your his soulmate but sometimes when boys gets touchy with you he will go to you and straight up say: "Darling, are they bothering you?" While glaring at them.
He knows that he will need to turn you into a vampire soon but he can't help but feel sad because he likes your eyes. But he doesn't have a choice so he's just enjoying the memories with you as a human.
Sometimes he sneaks in your room just because he misses you or when he's bored. He enjoys seeing your surprised face.
He decided that it's time for you to meet his family but he's kinda nervous lmao but in the end it worked out.
Esme LOVES you even when she just met you. She loves seeing your smile so she always finds a way to see you smile.
Carlisle just smiles at you and welcomes you in the family cuz he knows you're gonna get turned soon and He's glad that jasper finally have someone to love.
Alice, being the sweet girl she is hugs you and say "it's nice to finally meet you" and she keeps talking about fashions and how she loves your outfits.
Rosalie hated you at first but then warmed up to you and always hangs out with you. She always makes you sit in their table when it's lunch time. You're her favorite human and soon to be vampire.
Emmett was super excited to meet you, he wants to create chaos with you lmaooo. He always gives you stupid ideas to do with him, which leads to jasper saying: "No, not happening on my watch."
Edward and bella.. ehh their nice and welcomes you but their always lovely dovely with each other so you rarely interact with them, but you think their nice and they think you're nice too.
You always go to their house to hang out with them cuz who wouldn't want to be with them? Playing chess with edward, creating chaos with emmett, having fashion show with alice, cooking with esme, learning history with carlisle, having girl talks with rosalie, and cuddling with jasper.
You know who and what they are and you know you're gonna get turned into a vampire soon so you cherish all of your last moments with your human life.
And as soon as you turned into a vampire, jasper won't stay away from your side. He always admire you, staring at you like you're the only woman in his eyes.
When you're awake he calls Carlisle to help you control your thirst, and their actually shocked that you learned how to control it in a short time, but their proud of you especially emmett cuz.. chaos yk.
And having you as a vampire means he doesn't need to hold back. Kind of. But he can finally do things with you without holding himself back.
He always hunts with you to see how strong and fast you are. And he's not surprised you're stronger and faster now, it only made him fall inlove with you more.
Even if you're a vampire now, he still protects you and stay by your side. And again, he still carries your bag. But you won't complain, princess treatment is the best.
Edward is kind of annoyed cuz his mind is filled with you. Like literally every minute he thinks about you.
And when you both finally graduate, he plans on marrying you in like 3-4 months because yes he's been wanting to marry you.
And when you're both finally getting married he have the biggest smile on his handsome face. Makes you fall inlove with him more.
He literally can't wait so he straight up kissed you when it's just announcing lmaoooo.
But he's glad to finally have you in his life. He will protect you always and he will forever love you. Well, let's just say this is a "he fell first but she fell harder but he fell hardest." If hardest is even a word- but then again, it's cute.
movie masterlist. - navigation.
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daisyfield98 · 1 month
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qdbs-writes · 8 months
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How do you think the Cullens would act around a disinterested crush? Maybe they're fated but reader isn't having it lol
(I love your twilight writing btw thank God someone is still doing it 🤤🤤)
ah it has been many moons since I've gotten a twilight request yay!
Cullen Clan Reacting To Their Crush Being Disinterested In Them
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Carlisle Cullen
Being alive for just over 400 years tends to give one a good perspective on life and the bigger picture, and Carlisle sure has a pretty good idea of how all things pan out. So you're not interested in him? That's fine, Carlisle can wait for as long as you need to change your mind.
In the meantime, Carlisle will continue to maintain your friendship and continue to show just how hard he's worked to become the kind caring father figure he is. He knows you'll fall for him, eventually.
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Esme Cullen
Obviously, she's not going to stop caring about you just because you don't return her feelings. But she might switch up how she shows her affection.
Rather than flirty winks and suspiciously candle-lit wine tastings, she'll back up to more traditionally motherly affections. Making sure you're eating right, baking cookies, etc. And of course, giving you homemade soup when you're sick is still one of her favourite things to do, no need to stop now.
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Edward Cullen
Of course, you're not interested, how could anyone love a monster like him? Who did he think he was, thinking he was worthy of your love? Or so his inner monologue goes.
But it's really not that dramatic, it almost never is, Edward just sprung his crush on you suddenly and it caught you off guard. It was largely the excessively long preamble about how he was an irredeemable murderer that put you off first, but of course, he won't realise that until considerably later.
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Rosalie Hale
She's a little relieved actually. All her mortal and immortal life, Rosalie has been aggressively pursued by people she wasn't particularly interested in, so the fact that she can crush on someone who isn't really that interested is a wonderful change of pace.
For the first time ever, Rosalie has butterflies in her stomach, she fumbles with her words when she speaks to you, and she feels like a silly, mortal teenage girl again, begging her mother to let her go to the dance just so she can sneak away to catch a glimpse of someone just like you.
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Emmett Cullen
You and Emmett had been good friends for a while so when he casually drops a blissful "We should get married" into the conversation, you initially choke on your drink in laughter.
Emmett's a little heartbroken that you'd laugh at something like that, considering that he was being 100% serious. But since you've known him, the both of you have been constantly cracking up jokes, trying to get on each other's nerves, so no wonder you thought this was another one of his pranks. He decides to take this reaction as a blessing, you have no idea he's actually into you, now he knows he has to work out a different way to confess his feelings for you.
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Alice Cullen
She's a little confused obviously, having multiple visions of the two of you in a romantic relationship kind of gave her the impression that it might've been going to come true, but your disinterest says something else altogether.
But the worst part is that those damn visions of you and her together keep coming back, taunting her, luring her in deeper to despair with the thoughts of what might be. It's all getting so intense, so she decides to skip town for a bit, see if that changes anything, or at least helps her clear her head.
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Jasper Hale
Oh well, so you're not interested in a romantic relationship, so what? Doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Doesn't mean he can't be the charming Southern gentleman he is. Doesn't mean he can't still pull out chairs or open doors for you. Or send anonymous bouquets to your house. Or leave your favourite snacks in your locker when you're having a rough day. Of course not.
It doesn't mean he can't worry about other people who might want to date you. Doesn't mean he can't scare off people who'd be bad for you. I mean, what else are friends for?
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decoide · 4 months
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wake up babe it’s 2008 and twilight just dropped in cinemas
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exilecrown · 1 month
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"I have witnessed the bonds within this family — I say family and not coven. These strange golden-eyed ones deny their very natures. But in return have they found something worth even more, perhaps, than mere gratification of desire?"
THE CULLEN CLAN
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katie-huon · 8 months
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Hello tumblr, have a Rosalie in casual clothing
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panlight · 3 months
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Keeping Up with the Cullens - BD Episode 4, pt 2.
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queenofglassbeliever · 7 months
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Rosalie: *tells Bella she wants to raise children and run a household and how she thinks Bella is wrong being okay with giving up those things*
Bella, who's been in charge of all the household responsibilities, has been raising herself and taking care of her mom since she was six:
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lookitsaworm · 6 months
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Rosalie, looking at Emmett for the first time: I could fix him
Emmett, bleeding to death:
Rosalie: Carlisle could fix him
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