#but jonathan majors is just the perfect level of Some Guy. like. he is so fuckin talented but straight-up acts like ur bro or whatever

[userastarion]

have u ever noticed how some celebrities are very clearly Celebrities™️ with how they hold themselves and how they behave in interviews and stuff and then there are others that, no matter the level of fame, are just Some Guy (/pos) in how they act

[hellorhighrollers]

CORNLEY DOES ANYTHING GOES

anything goes is my favourite musical ever, and i was wondering who would play who if cornley ever put on a production of it! the casting fit so perfectly that i thought i would share my findings with the world (of tumblr). so without any further ado, here is anything goes, goes wrong!

JONATHAN HARRIS as BILLY CROCKER

honestly perfect casting on chris’ part. jonathan definitely has the skills to take on such a major role as the leading man, plus he shares a lot of similarities with billy’s personality! now we just have to hope he can get through those pesky doors…

SANDRA WILKINSON as RENO SWEENEY

sandra is THE girl for this role. she has the star persona, the perfect level of juuust teetering on being too overdramatic, and of course the strength and dedication to take on a role this large. you just know she will work so hard on this role and absolutely perfect it! well, as long as there are no snags in the actual show that is.

MAX BENNETT as LORD EVELYN OAKLEIGH

now, who to cast as the overly smiley guy who is a bit silly and needs to be absolutely enamoured with reno? why not the overly smiley guy who is a bit silly and is absolutely enamoured with the person playing reno! you could not find a role more suited to max bennett if you TRIED.

VANESSA WILCOCK-WYNN-CARROWAY as HOPE HARCOURT

vanessa has the much-needed sweetness that is crucial in a role like hope harcourt! although being nervous at first, she can definitely take on a role of this size, as her more recent roles in play of the week have shown. she has also undertaken roles with an underlying defiance before and this one is no different, definitely a character that suits her skill set! plus, she 100% has the high vocal range suited for this role.

ROBERT GROVE as MOONFACE MARTIN

ohhh robert is going to LOVE this role. the undercover gangster who is pretty crabby but with a soft spot? and he gets to carry a gun and be a humorous role? this will probably be his favourite character that he’s ever played.

ANNIE TWILLOIL as ERMA LATOUR

the fun-loving, flirty, confident female icon? are we describing annie or erma here? this role gives annie the chance to show off and let her true self shine. and, of course, she can flaunt her impressive set of pipes in buddie beware!

DENNIS TYDE as ELISHA WHITNEY

whoever could play the bumbling idiot? well, why not cast: a bumbling idiot! ‘nuff said.

LUCY GROVE as EVANGELINE HARCOURT

they needed a woman to play this role, and it was small enough of a part that they thought maybe lucy would be up for a challenge. with a bit of coaching from robert and sandra on (over)acting, she could play this character perfectly well! fingers crossed she manages to overcome her stage fright! and if not, the character is mostly scared all the time anyways?

CHRIS BEAN as SHIP’S CAPTAIN

an extremely small role for chris for once! but the cast really fit so perfectly, how could he not have them play the characters he gave them! honestly, he is extremely proud of his casting decisions. just sneak in a little multiroling for the remaining characters (or maybe getting some of the stagehands to join in? plus he could always contact francis to play the purser! could he even convince trevor to be henry t dobson?), then find out if they really need a chorus anyways, and this will be his best show yet! and of course if something goes wrong he could always, well, just step in as one of the other characters… nobody knows but he has secretly been learning billy crockers lines……

[nat-20s]

me looking at my own post: you could fanfic out of this!

Anyway here’s how I think a typical “Martin’s Poetry Corner” would go!

~*~

Martin: And for my second thing, we’re going back to the poetry corner!

Jon: Again? Didn’t you have a poetry corner last week?

Martin: It’s been well over two months since the last poetry corner, my dear. And just for that comment I’m going to up the amount of the poetry corner. From now on this podcast is me reading poetry interjected with some guy talking nonsense.

Jon: You say that like the majority of our audience wouldn’t prefer that. Also, some guy? I’m wounded! Earlier you were calling me ‘beloved husband’ and ‘cherished one’ and now I’m ‘some guy’? What did I do to deserve that level of downgrade?

Martin: You decried the poetry corner!

Jon: I decried nothing! It was a purely non-judgmental comment on the frequency of it. If you want to do poem every week, I have nothing against that.

Martin: Hmm. I might test you on that. I know the whole point of this thing is to share things we think are lovely, and I do find all the poems I read lovely, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t have an ulterior motive.

Jon: Oh? And what might your nefarious hidden agenda be?

Martin: I’m certain you’re the only one that would find it nefarious, but I can, must, shall, and will find a poem that affects you. Now, I’m sure the listeners at home would decry that goal. After all Mary Oliver, Maya Angelou, Wendy Cope, and Langston Hughes all did nothing. He didn’t even blink at “The Two-Headed Calf”, surely there can’t possibly-

Jon, laughing, which severely limits how much he’s able to sell his faux offense: I’ve been affected by poetry before!

Martin: Name one poem you had an actual strong reaction to.

Jon, smugly: It’s almost certainly not one you know. It’s called “Streets” and it’s by this really obscure author. God, what was his name? K was his middle initial I believe?

Martin, laughing: Piss off!

Jon: Well it’s true! I felt something at all of your poetry.

Martin: Liar! I very distinctly remember you calling it ‘almost affecting’! And you declared I was enamored with Keats, which doesn’t even make sense, we have wildly different composition styles.

Jon: You’re working from incomplete information. That tape was from my first read through. It was the reread where they got me.

Martin: Reread? I thought you hated rereading things?

Jon: Typically, yes. But. Ah. It was during the year you were gone.

Martin: Oh. Oh, love.

Jon: It’s been half a decade since then, Martin, I can assure you I’m fine. Though, I suppose reflecting on it, the affecting quality was more to do with who had written the poetry itself. Even now, you could write a grocery list for fun and I’d be hopelessly endeared by it.

Martin: Shut up.

Jon: I shall not! It’s been a hell of a road to get here, I think it’s more than acceptable to flaunt how much I like my husband, especially when he’s doing something he enjoys. In fact, I think it’d be more than appropriate if I did one of your poems for one of my wonderful things next week.

Martin: Absolutely not! Jon, there is a certain level of ‘embarrassing old men in love’ we’re allowed to be in the public sphere, and that would exceed it by, fuck, tenfold? Our quota would be wiped out for the year. For the next five years. No. Besides, my poems aren’t meant for anyone’s eyes and ears but my own, and occasionally you when you’re being nosy.

Jon, with audible shit eating grin: So you’re saying you wouldn’t like to hear your poetry in my voice?

Martin, having a gay panic despite being married to this man for years: I..uh..

Jon: Yes?

Martin: I would..I would like that very much. Privately. Er, please.

Jon: Well, since you asked so nicely. I suppose the poetry corner shall remain yours, for now.

Martin: Thank you for your grand generosity and understanding. Speaking of, should I get to the actual poem? I think I might have a winner with this one.

Jon: Please do.

Martin: So this week I’m bringing a poem written by an, as far as I can tell, unnamed ninth century Irish Monk-

Jon: -ninth century? Decided to abandon the contemporary route then?

Martin: Somewhat? The poem was written in the ninth century, but no one wants to hear me butcher the original, so I’m going to read the English translation by Seamus Heaney, which was done in 2006, so sort of contemporary? Depending how you look at it? Anyway, this is Pangur Bán:

Pangur Bán and I at work,

Adepts, equals, cat and clerk:

His whole instinct is to hunt,

Mine to free the meaning pent.

More than loud acclaim, I love

Books, silence, thought, my alcove.

Happy for me, Pangur Bán

Child-plays round some mouse’s den.

Truth to tell, just being here,

Housed alone, housed together,

Adds up to its own reward:

Concentration, stealthy art.

Next thing an unwary mouse

Bares his flank: Pangur pounces.

Next thing lines that held and held

Meaning back begin to yield.

All the while, his round bright eye

Fixes on the wall, while I

Focus my less piercing gaze

On the challenge of the page.

With his unsheathed, perfect nails

Pangur springs, exults and kills.

When the longed-for, difficult

Answers come, I too exult.

So it goes. To each his own.

No vying. No vexation.

Taking pleasure, taking pains,

Kindred spirits, veterans.

Day and night, soft purr, soft pad,

Pangur Bán has learned his trade.

Day and night, my own hard work

Solves the cruxes, makes a mark.

Isn’t that just delightful? Jon what did you-holy shit!

Jon, voice tight: What?

Martin: You teared up! You’re affected! Fuckin’ gottem!! I should’ve known. I should’ve fucking known that the way to Jonathan Sims’ soul was through a poem about a man feeling kinship with his cat. Incredible.

Jon, slightly sniffling: It’s a very nice poem! You read it because it’s a very nice poem!

Martin: Yes it is! That doesn’t discount the fact that I have read poems about love and hardships and finding joy in being alive and it’s the one about the cat that gets to you. Of course. I love you.

Jon: I love you too. Even if you are a bit too victorious over this. I think that will wrap it up for this week?

Martin: Think so! And as we say at the end of every episode, uh, the way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach, but through cat poems from a thousand years ago.

[cdt12345]

We've been friends many years but I've never thought to ask; Top 10 gay OTPs?

1.) Ian & Mickey (Gallavich) - Shameless us

What can I say about these two that we haven’t already said about them?! They are my absolute all-time favorite couple ever! Gay or straight. They perfectly complement each other, they love each other on a level I feel like I’ve never seen before (and I have watched a lot of tv/movies), they’re like a comedy duo, they support each other, understand each other better than anyone else ever will, they fell in love as kids, they bring out the best in each other, and they’re each other's best friend. I’m a sucker for opposites attract, who are also best friends. Gallavich really fits that bill. I wish they didn’t have to struggle so much to get their happiness, but I’m happy they finally got it. When they got married, it felt like the biggest victory ever! We went through those years of struggle with them, rooted for them, mourned for them when John Wells let Noel go after season 5. So much has tried to keep these two apart, even real-life circumstances tried to keep them apart. The chemistry between these two characters and between Cameron and Noel was so powerful, they were brought back to the show. That kind of thing doesn’t happen very often. When an actor leaves a show, they don’t usually come back as a series regular, let alone two actors who have already left the show. It felt like a miracle! I will never forget getting the news that Noel was coming back from you @luckyshazmrsmonaghansblog I was crying with happiness bc we wanted this for so long and I never believed we would get to see both Cameron and Noel back on the show. Or that they would get their happy ending outside of a jail cell. Especially after Cameron left the show in season 9. With their return we got a wedding, an entire season of them as a married couple, we got to see them dance with each other twice, we got them singing together, we got to see them start a lucrative business together, we got to see them free and happier than we’ve ever seen them before, and we got to see Terry get what he deserved after putting them through hell. We are only halfway through season 11, but I already feel so fulfilled with this extra time with gallavich that we were never supposed to have. JW tried to take that away from us. I will never understand why, but he failed. I am not surprised this is the one I wrote the most about. I can go on and on about gallavich!

2.) David and Patrick - Schitt’s Creek

This was everything I ever wanted to see onscreen, where there was zero homophobia. The pansexual character didn’t need to have a big coming out or tell everyone in the town of his sexual orientation, except his best friend. The gay character had a coming out with parents who loved and accepted him for who he is and was only upset that he felt he couldn’t tell them sooner. I dreamt of a day where I could see this kind of representation onscreen. The casual treatment of their sexuality was so refreshing and something I’ve been waiting for. There is no darkness or huge struggle they had to overcome to be together or a sad ending for them. They were allowed to be together without the major conflicts most LGBTQ characters have to go through. Once David made the first move Patrick was comfortable allowing himself to fall for David and start a relationship with him. He was so sure of his feelings for David after that first kiss, he never looked back and I loved that. They had such an adorable love story. Truly one I have been waiting to see for so long between two LGBTQ characters. They made me smile every time they were on screen. They are another of my OTPs that are exact opposites who complement each other perfectly. Patrick was welcomed into David’s family and blended in with them so well, even when he and David had very different upbringings. Patrick serenading David with Tina Turner and then Mariah Carey at their wedding is one of the most romantic things I have ever seen!

3.) Holt and Kevin - Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Captain Holt and Kevin are strange men on their own but together they are the perfect pair. They get each other in a way no one else does. The best part is their adorable fur baby, Cheddar! They seriously make the cutest family! I was so nervous when they went through a rough patch for a while because I didn’t want them to split up. Thankfully, they made it through and are still going strong!

4.) Will and Vince - Will & Grace

On the show's first run, Will and Vince were in a serious relationship and Vince was Will’s longest relationship on the show. They broke up a few times but were together by the series finale. The two reunite during the funeral of Will's father. There was a time jump on the series finale. Though I didn’t love everything about the last episode, I did love the fact that Will and Vince had been together for 20 years and raised a son together, who was conceived through in vitro fertilization with a surrogate. After the time jump, nearly twenty years later, their son goes to college and meets Grace's daughter, whom he would eventually marry. Though I wasn’t happy with the fact that Will and Grace didn’t stay close over the years, it did allow for their kids to one day meet, fall in love, and get married. I did like that outcome out of the finale. My family and I used to watch the original show, but we refused to accept or watch the 2017 revival because they completely changed everything from the original series finale. The second I found out they were changing everything; I knew I couldn’t watch it. They even wiped the existence of their kids from the first series finale. The revival was an attempt to cash in on the reboot craze and I wasn’t happy about that already, but even more so when they were going to break up one of my OTPs for easy money. Bobby Cannavale, who played Vince, has become even more famous since starring in Will & Grace. So, I already figured he wouldn’t be back for the show as a regular, but I know he did guest star. I won’t accept the revival and to me, Will and Vince stayed together, and their son married Grace’s daughter. THE END!

5.) Albert and Armand - The Birdcage

Miss Albert and Armand were the earliest gay couple I remember ever watching onscreen when I was eight years old. I have watched this movie more than I can count over the years. It is a family favorite that we quote often. Their son is planning to marry a girl whose father is in politics and is very conservative. They have to hide the fact that he has two gay fathers for one night, but everything goes awry, and comedy ensues. Nathan Lane and Robin Williams give a wonderful performance without resorting to using the stereotypes that are often used on gay characters, especially back then. It’s a classic!

6.) Stefon and Seth - Saturday Night Live

Okay, hear me out on this one! They’re not the most conventional OTPs on my list, but I really do love them so much! Stefon started doing a correspondent segment on Weekend Update on SNL. The first time Stefon came on, he flirted with Seth Meyers. The second he did I was like ooh they would make a cute couple! Stefon the wild party guy and Seth the serious news anchor. It was a match made in heaven for me. Before Seth Meyers left SNL to do Late Night with Seth Meyers, Bill Hader came back to play Stefon for Seth’s last episode. I didn’t expect what happened next to happen at all! They gave Seth and Stefon the ending that I haven’t even gotten from some actual scripted shows. I never expected Stefon and Seth to have this big ending, but I could not be happier that they did. I’m posting the link to the six-minute skit/ending and I hope it works. It’s worth watching. Though the video says it’s Stefon’s farewell it was really Seth’s farewell episode.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rj-wYWMdWNk

7.) Mr. Simmons and Peter - Hey Arnold!

Anyone who grew up watching this show already knew that Mr. Simmons, Arnold’s teacher, was probably gay. It was hinted at in the Thanksgiving episode. Arnold and Helga visit Mr. Simmons on Thanksgiving at his house and his family and “friend” Peter are there. Mr. Simmons mother says she didn’t know Peter was coming to dinner and Peter responds with the infamous line “There’s a lot of things you don’t know.” When Mr. Simmons mom tries to get him to take a woman friend to the ballet, he says he loves the ballet and Peter gives him a disapproving look and Mr. Simmons immediately declines. Those were enough hints for us fans to decide Peter was his boyfriend. Years later, the show's creator Craig Bartlett finally confirmed Mr. Simmons is gay and had them together in the 2017 Hey Arnold: The Jungle Movie. It was so exciting to finally get the confirmation years later, even though I was already certain of it for many years. I was happy that the cartoon no longer had to settle with vague hints about it.

8.) Callie and Arizona - Grey’s Anatomy

I was very happy to see a lesbian couple on prime time tv and I really liked both characters. I was excited to root for them but sadly as most couples on this show, their relationship took a turn, and I wasn’t thrilled about it. I was disappointed that it came to an end. By then I was already getting tired of watching the show. It was starting to feel like a chore to watch it every week. I tried to stick it out because I don’t like to give up on shows in the middle of it, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’m glad I did though because the shocking events with Derek Shepard, is something I’m glad I wasn’t around for. Anyway, I heard things between Callie and Arizona got even worse, so I was even happier I left when I did.

9.) Sherwin and Jonathan - In a Heartbeat

This was one of the cutest things I have ever seen! I wish this got the full-length movie treatment instead of a short film. But it was still a step in the right direction for the LGBTQ community. Gay characters in cartoons always bring me such joy and that was the focus of this short. A boy with a crush on another boy with a cute ending. What is not to love?!

10.) Mitch and Cam - Modern Family

Another show I had to give up on in the middle of the series. The show began to be less funny and more annoying to me. Another reason, that really has nothing to do with the show itself, that used to annoy me was that this show repeatedly beat out Parks and Recreation during award season. Parks and Recreation is a superior show when compared to Modern Family. This show won almost every year for years and it got really annoying especially when the quality of the show started slipping and they kept winning. After a few years, they finally stopped winning all the time. But before all that, I was a fan of Cam and Mitch. They were a great couple who I loved watching on the show. They were the best part of the show most of the time. But sadly, my annoyance of the show no longer being as funny as it used to be, was enough for me to stop watching.

[heymusings]

​The Mummy and Mummy Returns need more appreciation in terms of sheer cinematic value.  It may not seem like a work of art compared to large budget films that have rocked box offices but I think of it as an example of perfect cinematic enjoyment.

Genre and Gender--- these movies are unique in the adventure and action genre.  First, I could probably count on one hand the number of films that feature a woman in a leading role within the genre-- let alone one that I enjoyed. Second, I love that Eve is arguably the lead character and she isn’t overtly sexy or constantly fighting off the bad guys while ridiculously clothed.  She is not given some incredibly ridiculous skill set.   In fact, most female leads that I can think of in this genre are presented in order to appeal to male audiences; meaning, many of the action/adventure films that feature female leads are actually films made to appeal to men over women (because why would I want to watch that genre...I am only allowed to watch chick flicks).  These women are often expert fighters but they do their fighting in a way that is constantly reminding audiences that they are women or their skill set is so high that it is unrealistic (and would be even if the character were male). 

Instead, The Mummy concentrates more on building realistic female characters that suite the genre and story being told (not appealing to the male gaze or even the female gaze).  

Rather than being a femme fatale, the female lead is an intelligent, witty, and bookish woman who literally knows more about Egyptology than any man there.  It is actually Evelyn's brains rather than brawn or weaponry that is more necessary to defeating the mummy.  It is her intelligence that is emphasized-- in an adventure film-- that isn’t often seen, especially for a woman. Funnily enough, Evelyn in the first film is rather awkward in many ways-- through the entire film.  She doesn’t have this miraculous transformation into a badass who can kill you with a single punch.

 Evelyn even wears more practical clothing and never once becomes scantily clad (for whatever reason).  It is her intelligence rather than her sexuality that pushes the story forward and attracts the male protagonist Rick to her. But damn if she isn’t physically attractive as well...it’s just not the most important thing.

It isn’t until the sequel where Evelyn, still arguably the focus of the film, becomes more physically able.  However, this transformation makes more sense seeing as it is several years after the first film and it is implied that she has been involved in several expeditions and learned some fighting skills from Rick.  Her skills remain on a realistic level and still, her gender is not a focus.  Even with her new skills, it is still her intelligence that is emphasized.

  All that really needs to be said: The story concentrates on a fun adventure science fiction rather than perpetuating gender stereotypes.

Characters-- 

I can actually see every character in this film as being real.  These are not characters who are not impossibly skilled in seemingly all things nor are they what I would call “Hollywood perfect” by falling neatly into one stereotypical role and having their looks be a major factor in their portrayal.  These characters/people even look realistic-- a fact that I find makes them much more attractive.  They all have there own individual skills but they do screw up far more often than other action heroes do, yet they are able to realistically get out of the dangers they find themselves in.

Rick is far from the typical heroic character-- he spends a great deal fo the film screaming.  He is quippy, which is typical of heroes within the genre, but the true difference is that I find him actually likable and his quips don’t come off as...arrogant or sexist, which is also typical within the genre.  He is skilled in combat but not in seemingly every form of combat, and the combat he is skilled in isn’t often useful to him in the situations he ends up in, forcing him to get creative (also showing he is smart and resourceful).  

Johnathan is bumbling and often clumsy (similar to Evie) which often leads him to be under estimated, but he is actually highly intelligent, which you see signs of throughout the films, he just simply doesn’t have much interest in intellectual pursuits to flex how smart he can be.  He can even be a quick thinker when necessary.  But where Evie is fairly ruled by intellectual pursuits Johnathan is not, in fact, he is mostly lazy...he’s just looking for his opportunity to get rich and live it up; treasure hunting seems to be the best way to accomplish that for him.

What I love even more is that he actually doesn’t let his interest in riches interfere with his relationships. You don’t see a lot of characters who have an interest in gold come out on top or be particularly good people, especially in this genre of film.

Comedy--- 

I find it continuously difficult to enjoy comedy, even in comedy films.  Comedy becomes dangerous in other film genres if not used appropriately.  I can honestly say the Mummy brand of humor is top notch and arguably the best in film.  It is perfectly suited for the adventure film and works with the characters rather than seeming out of place or out of character, and it certainly doesn’t take the humor too far (which is often the main issue I have with humor in most movies).  The best humor comes from how the very different and very real character interacts with each other and react to the events taking place-- their reactions are often used to create humor, but to also emphasize their characters and the situation and it is not over the top reactive or obvious (like LOOK AT ME I AM BEING FUNNY).  What I mean is, the humor is purposeful and used sparingly where it makes sense; it’s not there just for a laugh and that makes it all the more humorous.  

Supporting Characters

Unless they are villainous characters, which are fairly cut and dry, want to take over the world it might be a little more difficult to pick out supporting characters. The vast majority of the characters in the films are purposeful and well developed to the point of arguably being equally important and not pushed to the side near as often as is often the case of such characters.  Ardeth and Jonathan come to mind-- they are obviously not the main characters but without them, the story would turn out very different.  Because they are also given nearly equal if not completely equal screen time 

Romance--

Romance is constantly a sub-genre in adventure film...one which I both love and hate.  As a woman, I admit I like a little romance filtered in.  What I absolutely despise in how it is almost ALWAYS depicted as...well, underdeveloped and focused almost solely on the idea that “hey, you look good, I look good, let’s do it and at some point, you’ll the damsel and I’ll be manly and brave enough to save you.”  These films have REAL romance.  Sure, Rick and Evie are physically attracted to each other, but there is zero sex and their attraction is emphasized more by their intellectual connection and genuine appreciation for each other than their physical attraction.  Even better, the get to know each other in traditional ways-- talking, arguing, awkward and adorable shows of affection, and gifts that clearly represent an understanding of the person being gifted (such as Rick giving Evie a set of archeology tools).

[citialiin]

ZIGGY ✰ STARDUST

i jacked this from @cardinalrot​. thank you dad. tagging: @gothsic​ ; @blossomingbeelzebug​ ; @betelguide​ ; @thatcertainnight​ ; @prophesyed​ ; you, specifically, reading this.

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

FULL NAME.     [ redacted ] * NICKNAME.     ziggy  GENDER.     agender (he/him or they/them) / typically presents as a “man” for simplicity’s sake and also because he doesn’t care enough to think about it for more than 4 seconds HEIGHT.     5′10″ AGE.     26 (earth years) ZODIAC.     ??? (he wasn’t born under our stars ... so .......) SPOKEN LANGUAGES.     any/all (he doesn’t really know them, though, he uses an internal translator)

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢��𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

HAIR COLOR.     bright red, seemingly unnatural -- but it’s natural EYE COLOR.     left pale blue, right black SKIN TONE.     very, very, very pale BODY TYPE.     skinny. very skinny/slender/svelte.  willowy and tall and bony.  good for looking waifish on magazine covers but bad for lifting even vaguely heavy objects. VOICE.     posh, nasally, low, the slightest bit condescending.  speaks with an english accent despite not being english, let alone human.  drawls his vowels and enunciates his letters.  his voice is strangely clear and bright when he sings, unlike his somewhat unpleasant speaking tone, and he tends to sing in higher pitches than his speaking voice. DOMINANT HAND.     ambidextrous -- but he can only play the guitar left handed POSTURE.     very straight and proper, holds his head high and his shoulders square.  uncertain if it’s height alone or if he really is looking down upon you.   SCARS.     small incision in the back of his neck where the translator was placed. barely there and usually covered by a collar or his hair, anyways. TATTOOS.      none BIRTHMARKS.     a large yellow disc on his forehead, rimmed with a slightly darker yellow/bronze with the slightest hint of a chromatic shift affect due to reflecting/light catching pigment in skin cells.  this isn’t unique to him, however, as every member of his race has it. has the tiniest hint of a freckle above his lip, on the left side, and he hates it and wishes he could nuke it off his face.  both of these are usually covered, anyways. MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S).     the circular mark, his unusual eyes, his sharp features, his bright hair. everything about him is weird and outlandish and strange, but it helps him maintain a striking, marketable image.  

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝

PLACE OF BIRTH.     far away.  HOMETOWN.    faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away. SIBLINGS.    [ grabs the steering wheel and veers straight into worldbuilding headcanon territory ] the society he comes from is no longer sexually dimorphic and typically doesn’t reproduce the natural way.  having evolved far beyond such icky things, they use genetic samples from large swaths of the population to make consistent batches of new individuals -- the genetic samples are screened for defects and aberrations and sort of tossed together into a genome salad, and out comes however many individuals they need to fill in gaps in the population.  there’s a lot of consistency in his species due to this: everyone has reddish hair, everyone has heterochromia, everyone is about the same height, etc.  so technically, he’s related to everyone in his “batch.” PARENTS.   he wouldn’t ever know -- a lot of people, probably

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

OCCUPATION.    rockstar -- cultural icon -- celebrity -- musician -- singer -- model -- jerk CURRENT RESIDENCE.    london, LA, NYC, but he’s constantly moving and tours quite often CLOSE FRIENDS.    few and far in between -- he’s friends with his drummer who is named priscilla but usually goes by the stage name WEIRD, as well as siddharth, his bassist, who goes by sid in his personal life but GILLY on stage.  they were the first two humans to encounter him and taught him everything he knows, from how to tie his shoes (aliens wear boots, and you should know this) to the C major scale -- because they are among the few humans who know his secret, he views them as his closest and dearest friends.  his stardom isolates him from them, just a little -- he likes the spotlight but they don’t mind just being “the drummer” and “the bassist.”  they don’t quite have the star power that he does.  his manager  -- tama ahinariki, some guy from new zealand who seemed to bumble his way into becoming in charge of one of the most successful musicians of the decade -- also knows he’s an alien, but they tend to be more business partners than close friends.  tama is more interested in the money side of things whereas priscilla and sid are only interested in the music.  ziggy has stock in the music, money, and his personal brand.  

via rp, he’s made some friends with other characters! a few. very few.  RELATIONSHIP STATUS.    single -- he intends to stay that way.  he gets all the action he could ever need from his legion of devoted fans and groupies.  even in situations where he’s romantically involved and emotionally invested, he would never consider himself exclusive or monogamous.   a lot of tabloids make rumors that he’s involved with cardinal copia, fellow rock icon, but he tends to be sneaky at hiding any time they spent together.  it’s hard to keep things private when you’re both massively popular public figures, though. he goes out of his way to be sure no one knows about his predilection for spending time with thomas, because the last thing an awkward alien in disguise needs is a lot of public attention because people think you’re dating a celebrity (who they don’t know is also an alien). he hangs around annie a lot, too, but this is extra extra under wraps, because annie has a stalker named jonathan who may or may not go apeshit and try to tear his head off or something if he finds out.   FINANCIAL STATUS.    filthy rich. should be guillotined.   DRIVER’S LICENSE.    doesn’t have one. he has some paperwork, somewhere, with a “real” name and all that, but he has no idea where it is and lets his manager deal with that stuff. CRIMINAL RECORD.    none ! clean slate.  that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do illegal things, though.  he just doesn’t get caught.   VICES.    smoking, drinking, la cocaina, sex, impulsive spendng, rockstar stuff.  

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

SEXUAL ORIENTATION.   bisexual. PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE.     submissive  |  dominant  |  switch  | top |  bottom | verse. this doesn’t really come up in rp because i dont write nsfw. the way i view it is that he’s lazy and would rather you take care of him than the other way around LIBIDO.    pretty high, but it’s difficult for him to have as much sex as he might prefer because, uh, he has, uh, alien..............parts...........and stuff ..... like ....... some parts down there look different ....... so he’s stuck having sex with usually in the dark, under sheets, and he has to zip his pants up really quick afterwards. maybe it’s a little bit hilarious and i just think it’s funny idk LOVE LANGUAGE.    selflessness (which is big, for him, king of all douchebags and lord selfish dickhead the third), rambling to you about his day, physical affection, gifts, letting you see him without make up, opening up to you about his life before earth.  he might play you music, sing to you or write you songs if he’s feeling particularly sappy.  this is stuff reserved for people that he finds himself incredibly romantically/emotionally attached to, though, not the people he has one night stands with.  and he almost never forms any sort of lasting attachment to the people he sleeps with casually. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES.    he tends to fall for people who challenge him in some way, who aren’t easily beguiled by his status and physical looks, but who aren’t outright mean to him.  that being said, he is very vain, and he loves being showered in compliments, praise or attention.  he matches well with people who can put up with his antics and moodiness and odd behavior.  he likes the idea of being someone’s muse or someone’s idol, so he finds himself drawn to other creative types.  he has the most intimate/special connections with other nonhuman beings, especially other aliens, cuz he feels like they Get him and he wouldn’t be really giving himself in his fullest form if he had to still play pretend that he was a human being.  for whatever reason he goes apeshit for goth guys/dudes with black hair who wear a lot of black.  he really doesn’t like people who are too much like him, because HE’S HIM, and you’re YOU, and he really wants it to stay that way.  GET OUT OF MY DRESSING ROOM

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG.   there’s a whole album about him .......... theres a song called “ziggy stardust” .......  HOBBIES TO PASS TIME.    singing, music, writing -- he lives for that shid.  he likes art in all forms, so he reads, watches movies, looks at paintings -- he has a lot of human culture to catch up on, and he loves all of it, from any time period and any culture.  he also likes buying things, shopping, looking nice, gossip.  he tends to be a party animal (party alien?) and often indulges in more hedonistic fun. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED.    his brain is not structured like a human brain. also, head empty.  no thoughts. FEARS.    being perceived as ugly or untalented, being outed as an alien, being rejected for being an alien, becoming a nobody, losing his social status, becoming a conformist, becoming “outdated” or “uncool” SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL.    somehow sky high and on the floor at the same time. he usually thinks he can do anything and he’s pretty perfect, but that may just be from a solid few years of repeating that to himself and empty praise given by people who are just crazy obsessed with him -- he built his confidence level on a very shaky foundation, so it’s easy to start making him doubt himself and panic if you know what to criticize him on VULNERABILITIES.    a lot of things, and im sick of typing

* pay me 100000 USD to unlock my LEVEL 20 ZIGGY STARDUST LORE pack now with NAMING/TITLE INFORMATION, HOME PLANET CLIMATE/WEATHER PATTERNS and PAST OCCUPATION/EDUCATION information.  includes a piece of gum i found on the floor.

[aleclikescupcakes]

My final thoughts

First I must admit I love the episode. I mean considering the cast, the producers and the crew had to end the show so soon, for this to be the final episode, it was great, it was what they could do best, and I am fine with it. 

The episode (from 3x21) started so good, I love the Edom dinamic, the jokes, de comedy, the team work. I must admit I wanted Alec and Magnus to have the alliance rune, but when I saw the twist with Alec and Lorenzo, and Jace and Meliorn, it was fantastic. I lived for those moments, it made me smile more than I would have thought. The fact they all wanted to save Magnus was so beautiful because Magnus has helped so much, he deserve to be saved from his family. 

I would have love to see a Dark!Magnus plot, but not because I wanted him to be evil (I couldn’t even imagine that possibility), but I wanted to see him ruling Edom and being all powerful for just a tiny moment (but oh well, the first scene was enough for me). 

I love that the show gave Izzy the heavenly fire plot, when it was supposed to be Clary, but in a way was to give her a center plot because to be honest, we had little Izzy centric plots, so it was great to see that change. I also love everybody was willing to help her get rid of the fire, it was a good team moment. 

I must admit that I felt that at the beginning Sizzy was kind of rushed, because it just took me by surprise it was going to start right when the episode started, but then it was good, it turn out to be good. I found the whole gang finding out they were kissing funny, it was all I imagined. 

3x22 had its ups and down. I mean I love the majority of it but there were things that left me like in shock, like a I needed to rethink well before having an opinion. 

I mean, the Malec wedding was so beautiful, I actually cried so much. The hugs, the love, the music, the vows, the little moments, it was just so perfect. I know the writers and the producers, and the cast wanted to be perfect and for me it was. I can’t complain about it. Honestly, 8 minutos of malec wedding is not joke guys, they did it for us and their love of course. 

What I didn’t like was the Jonathan plot. I...it made me feel a little bit uncomfortable and wrong in so many levels. I didn’t like the Seelie queen and Jonathan relationship, it was just so wrong for me I couldn’t deal with it. The fact that there was not time for Jonathan to develop as de the villian that he was supposed to be, it dissappointed me. I know it is not the shows fault to be cancelled and made to do a movie with a rushed plot, but it made this plot that we have been building up since season 3B as it never happen, it was just in the background making noise. 

I know they tried to pack all this storylines and ended it quickly as possible (it actually looked like a check list kind of plot) and because of that we had such a short amount of Maia and Luke. And I understand, I do, because of schedule conflict but the Jonathan thing was just....so bad, it mades me sad. 

About Clary forgetting her memories, I must say at the beginning it infuriates me because it was not fair. For me it was not fair. I know the majority of the fandom does not like her (or  it seems) but she is our protagonist, she helped save the world. It was so wrong to see her slowly forget her memories, she suffered alone and it kind of hit me hard to see that. To see everybody happy and she suffering. 

I mean, she didn’t have anyone outside of the shadow world. When she forgot everybody, where did she go? Where was she going to live? She lost her mom, her home, she killed her biological father who was evil and her brother for that matter. She lost the love of her life, do you see how fucked up that is?

Oh well, I did like to see that the was going to remember at some point. That scene with Jace at the end, it really was good. It kind of gave me hope on her plot and made me feel better. Besides, it was well shot cinematographically, so it was beautiful in my opinion. 

I am glad Malec got such a powerful ending. Powerful husbands changing the world. It is funny they put Alec as the inquisitor because being a Consul would be like the books and they didn’t have the rights.

I mean I have so many emotions on this episode guys, I can’t stop thinking about it. It was the first show I felt deeply connected and though, it mostly frustrate me, I care about it so much. 

So besides all of that, I am thankful for this show, for this fandom, for the cast, for the producers and for this amazing books. I know this show is not going to be saved and I know it might never be remade, but I am glad I was alive to see this, no matter the differences. 

[ralfstrashcan]

3x19 Reaction / Commentary

I didn't even skip breakfast today, it's almost as if I'm a real functioning adult ahahaha.

SDFALFJSKLDFJASDF I'M ALREADY A MESS

Ngl those first few shots made me think I had fallen headfirst into a zombie apocalypse movie. Wind swooshing through the speakers, no living soul in sight, no cars driving, just Magnus walking along the street, on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams hahahahaha sorry I'll stop.

Wow what a jerk.

There's been so many hilarious jokes about the “What fool summoned you” line, and my favorite one will forever remain this.

So, points to Magnus for asking, minus points for buying this shit not-sound-at-all story. Even “fatherly love” can't just screw the laws of nature, okay, Magnus shouldn't just skim over this. Then again I can definitely cut him slack on this because he is a little preoccupied with other problems at the moment.

Listen, Magnus's body language throughout this whole scene (and also throughout the sneak peek we saw for 3x20) is so expressive. Imma skim over it because I plan to do a thorough Relationship / Scene Analysis for Magnus and Asmodeus, so let me just leave this picture here uncommented.

No wait, I have a question. Isn't Magnus's magic occupied with guarding Lilith's home? Did Asmodeus pick it up before summoning himself or did he call it just now? Also, does Asmodeus know that Lilith is on the loose? Then again, is she even? Because no Shadowhunter can be bothered to look for her and she did say that she wanted to go back to Edom... but that was probably a lie to get Cain to cooperate. And how could she even send herself back to Edom? So many questions. Anyway moving on because who cares about Lilith.

Magnus's face when he gets his magic back. ....................yes I have no witty words here, sorry.

Lol okay I have. I love this scene, I absolutely LOVE Magnus's face and how expressive it is, but I've also been dreaming of an epic eye-sparkling, energy-crackling mid-battle-scene where Magnus regains his magic for uhhhh almost a year now, and in terms of dramatic-ness this was pretty anti-climactic. And I think we can agree he won't lose his magic again and then get it back in a more dramatic fashion. Also where are his cat eyes I feel cheated.

I mean, come on, even he gets to show them!! Btw what a dick cunning move to use them to manipulate Magnus. Since they made a compelling argument the first time around.

Also LOL Asmodeus playing nice for one second and when Magnus denies him he immediately shows his hand with “I won't take no for an answer.” Man has no patience XD

Finally I wanna give a huge HUGE shout out to Magnus for resisting Asmodeus becuase can you even imagine how low he must be feeling and yet he has enough presence of mind left to realize that whatever comfort Asmodeus offers can't be true, there must be a hook and it's best to stay away. Dude what strength.

“I only lost sight of her for a minute.” “Enough time for the Evil Rune to have taken hold.”

Uuuhhhh since when?? Did they also go to the bathroom together before?? Did I miss that?? I mean, sure, Clary was drifting sometimes, but she spent a whole half episode in the same cell as Jonathan with Jace “away” behind the glass wall and out of her sight, so...... yeah. This is a little sudden.

She keeps saying that but we have yet to see her actually filter anything. #nofilter

“No one can hurt us if we get to Morning Star first. And once we have that sword the entire world will be terrified of us....”

So he wants that evil sword not to open a rift but to keep the NY Shadowhunters off his back so he can live his life in peace. I-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g.

Yes, good. Finally learned your lesson.

.............Or not??? I mean it's not like Clary pretended to be on his side before, to lull him into a false security and gain the upper hand. Why would he fall for it now? Because he acts like Jace is the only risk factor here, and Clary is of course truly and wholly on his side. I mean, true, the circumstances are different since she freed him and all, but like. Guy must have trust issues by now. Where are they.

Also

he should start a self help group with Alec hahahahahaha *weeping*

Me, waiting for the next episode of Shadowhunters. (Also I just noticed Simon says “me neither” not “mine neither” so it sounds as if he's not Izzy's thing, either and LOL I couldn't agree more ahahaha.)

Uh-huh, I agree. Perfect timing. I mean, it's not like there was a glaring 98% there earlier, and as if he didn't have plenty of time before to bring this unfortunate line of conversation up. This is on you, Simon. Don't blame the filtering.

HAHAHA ASK ALEC, HE'S GOING TO THROW IT AT HIM HAHAHAHAHAHA

Seriously though. Just, uh, crush it into powder, add some saline solution, done. And I'm not even a scientist. This is intuitive. The heck.

I'm 1000000% on board with all of this, okay. Over excited Alec is the best Alec. Handholding is the best. Magnus's weariness of surprises is headcanon confirmed. Yes to all of it.

So there were a few lines that were widely interpreted as allusions to their kinky sex life and tbh I never bought any of it because I thought it was seeing too much where there was nothing, but this is so very obviously meant in a kinky way that I'll accept it. Another headcanon confirmed ahahaha this episode is so generous to me.

Ugh I'm so gonna have to write something about that. And knowing myself, it'll be sad closeted Alec daydreaming of all the things he can never have.

Question time, what are those weird rivets thingies? Do they hold any meaning? Is their placement of importance? Because they look very deliberate and very there. I'm confused.

Also, this scene was designed to drive me crazy. There's 7 different shots where we see the lock's placement and there are no less than 3 (!!!!!) different placements. Placement #1, #3 and #5 are consistent (though really, #1 and #5 shouldn't even count because they are clearly the same shot, just with Magnus's hand reaching for the lock) on the left side of the yellow lock, to the bottom left of the Dips lock.

Then we see Alec placing it in an empty compartment at the very edge of the construction (placement #2), only for it to be on the compartment below that in the next shot (placement #4), sharing space with a little gray-blueish lock. This is the same place from where Magnus removes it then (placement #6).

I hate inconsistencies, okay, and I really did notice all this the first time watching. I can't not-see stuff like this. The only fun that comes out this detail obsessiveness is the lock that clearly ships Captain America and Captain Marvel (left) and the lock that was placed from two years in the future (right) because ahahahaha did the show forget it takes place in 2016?? It would seem so.

And yes, I chose to focus on this instead of the fact that Magnus incinerates their lock because that hurts my heart too much to think about, okay. That scene was perfect, the music swelling in all the right places and just. So heart-wrenching. I might've teared up a little. You can't prove anything.

Why she not removing those paper thingies? Seems impractical.

Paint on face trope? Check.

Yeah Raphael, lemme pay you some respect for facing your mistakes like that. I like it a lot.

Istg if they don't give him GPS this time and just rely on the tracking rune again, which Jonathan and Clary will insist he blocks, then imma flip my shit.

.......................so many fanfics want to be written here, okay. So many.

Also is no one gonna talk about the fact that they all put the ring on the pointer when that's not the intuitive position to place a ring? For security reasons alone you should put it on your middle finger so it doesn't accidentally slip off. Oh right, I forgot. Magic ring.

I love how Alec's voice wavers and you just know he sends Jace away because he'll start crying if he doesn't (even if in this screen cap Alec looks weirdly happy). Btw headcanon that Jace didn't realize something was up at first and was only tipped off when Izzy asked earlier if Alec was okay, and then he prodded at the parabatai connection and realized... there was nothing. Just a solid wall of nothing, because Alec's been sealing off his feelings completely.

1) Wow, Simon, your condolences are amazing. 2) Please, explain? Is she in a coma? Walking around as if she'd had a lobotomy?? But whatever, just skim over this, she's a minor character anyway and nobody cares about her *shrug*

This is the LAZIEST plot convenience I ever had to see with my own two eyes. I really can't work up the energy to rage about this. Just, wtf. Then again, not calling ahead with vital information seems to be Luke's Thing, just remember the 3x15 disaster. At this point it might as well be considered a character trait of him and no longer plot convenience. *sigh* Also, Shadowhunters are major creeps, am I supposed to believe they don't have a few liters of all of their soldiers' blood stored away somewhere, for reasons?

Uh-huh, Izzy. And if you care to remember, that was about 20 episodes ago. And since vampires have a constant craving for blood they seem to have some kind of metabolic. If you want to tell me that Jace's blood is still IN Simon, then either a) he's been chipping away at the Jace-blood-stash he has hidden in his second gastric and if that runs out he'll no longer be a daylighter or b) Jace's blood went into Simon's cells and changed him on a molecular level..... in which case, to extract it they'd have to remove it, un-daylighter-ing Simon in the process. Or maybe just parts of him? Imagine if he was a daylighter except for his left arm or something. In any case, this is majorly ridiculous and I can't believe I have to suffer through this.

????????????? Who opened that portal? I mean, if he had to call on a warlock to get away, wouldn't it have been easiser for Izzy and Co. to stop him from running through that portal and make him donate some blood first? Instead of forcing this bullshit logic on me? Ugh. But I get it, this is necessary to justify a Sizzy scene. Whatever.

Hahahhahha.

Which means nothing, since Jace can activate his runes without his stele. Or did they forget that part again?? I mean, it's been half a season since he last did that.

“And if it wasn't for our connection I suspect you'd do it again.”

lolololol hilarious.

HAHHAHA WILL YOU STOP WITH THE HILARITY

Honestly, the way they all act I get the distinct feeling I'm watching an exasperated kindergartener and two particularly clingy toddlers vying for her attention XD

Uuuuhhhh yeah hit me with more Malec Flashbacks to make me feel shitty, why don't you.

Okay, consoled. Btw thanks for confirming another headcanon that between the two of them Magnus is the one easier swayed by puppy eyes.

HAHAHAHA of course my mind immediately interpreted that as a misguided pun about Magnus being a Prince of Edom hahahaa wtf Alec

Dammit, his eyes. You can really see how he's allowing himself to start dreaming about it.

Also, can't believe they had a kiddie talk with at least some seriousness, what, two months into their relationship?? Haha. And internally Madzie was like “Uh boring grown up talk, at least I got my sprinkles.”

See, this is what I have problems with. On the one hand, even with all his emotional turmoil going on, Magnus is still enough in his right mind not to fall for Asmodeus's sweet talking, but on the other hand he revisits all of those memories and doesn't realize Alec breaking up with him can't have been real? This doesn't really add up. Either he is out of his mind with emotions that he can't see this very very strange happening for being something fishy (then he shouldn’t have been able to so easily resist Asmodeus), or he's still level-headed enough not to be driven by emotions entirely (then he should have realized the breakup was fake).

toddler fight intensifies

I'M WHEEZING HAHAHAHAHAHAH R U FOR REAL. Also remember my statement from last week? Where I said “I mean, in a way it's nice to know that Demonic Clary isn't smarter than Regular Clary.” Turns out she's so much worse than Regular Clary XD

Lol Raphael is that still you talking or the Plot Point? Because ngl, when I saw that sneak peek promo thingy where Jordan eyes the dramatically last vial of serum in the Institute I immediately thought they want to cook up a conflict there, where he steals the last vial needed to help save Clary and bla bla bla. I really hope they don't go down that road because I feel he should be better than this by now. *sigh* In any case, while I enjoyed the first part of this plot line with Raphael coming here to make reparations, this feels really forced and convenient.

OH MY GOD THANK YOU SIMON FOR ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS WTF I NEED ANSWERS

Wow can't believe they pulled this obvious and clearly unfitting parallel to Sizzy. I mean, Simon lost his glasses back in S1 and even before that Izzy noticed he was hot in like ep 2. She's been appreciating him as a friend since at least 2B if not sooner. So please don't pretend that she just didn't notice what a great guy he is, because she did. She knows he's someone you can count on, who's there when you need him, with advice or a joke or just to listen to you. She knows all this, and has for seasons. But, surprise surprise, you don't fall in love with everyone who's a great guy and a good friend. That is a thing. Friendships are a thing. Anyway, at least I can wholeheartedly agree that in any possible scenario Izzy is the hot girl XD

HAHAHA JACE THAT'S PAYBACK FOR ALL THOSE TIMES YOU INTERRUPTED MALEC HAHA KARMA IS A BITCH RIGHT

.......or just use glamors to look like Downworlders. Just saying.

Jonathan using the cuts to get a secretive chest grab in on Jace, but I know all those sleazy tricks and you can't slip that feel-up past me #busted

*weeping tears* yeah, and he'll never get the real deal. what a tragedy.

“...the Downworlder club. I think the runes front and center on my neck make a compelling argument, don't you agree?” Also the foreboding background music totally spoiled this 'twist.' (I'm using ''s because it was totally obvious this wouldn't work.)

Look I just love Alec, okay. I LOVE ALEC.

*waves hand* elite guard *waves hand some more* blue mark on his neck *smacks self in the face with waving hand* look i'm pretty sure Meliorn doesn't have a mark like this and he's like, the only Seelie that gets regular screen and talking time with the queen. But I'm way too behind schedule to start looking into it, I might edit something in here later (or never ahahaha).

OH DEAR THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

YES YES YES PLEASE

DUUUUDE WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM IDEAS WHAT THE HELL

Also, remembering that short sequence of Magnus shooting red magic at his temples from the promo doesn't bode too well for the rest of the episode. Dammit.

You had one job, Lindsay. One. Job. (Yes, please imagine the Loki Gif here. I just love him a lot, okay. Loki <3<3<3)

(^pls imagine her little disenchanted headshake because any screen caps I tried to take made her look drugged out of her mind lol.)

Yep, this is it. This is it.

Sooooo.... how exactly did they persuade the bouncer? Just curious.

HAHAHAAHAH duuuuuude hahahhaa.

........when exactly did Jonathan spy all that? I mean, I've been having questions about the pacing since that ep with the Baby Jonathan Flashbacks, because that manibus whatever demon? Referring to 2x05. So Jonathan only got to earth after that? Howwww? Not thanks to Valentine, right, since he didn't even know Jonathan existed until 2x15 where Jonathan intercepted him from his portal to Idris? And didn't they say Sebastian Verlac disappeared half a year ago?? How does that all match up?

In any case, I feel like the seelie queen suddenly having a warlock boy toy who she can't order into her realm and who she has monthly scheduled appointments with that the whole shadow world knows about is a) totally absurd b) pretty ooc for her and c) reeking of plot convenience. They just couldn't find a better excuse for her to be at a certain place at a certain time. They should have made her attend a fashion show, or hell, a gardening contest. Would have been more credible than whatever this is.

“I grab the queen. Clary portals the three of us away.” “The four of us, including the queen.”

HAHAHHAHAHHA I CAN'T XD XD XD #slightly consoled

WHEN THE HELL DID JONATHAN READ / WATCH THE SHINING ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW WTF!!!!!

1) This doesn't work in real life. Do you have any idea how much time it takes to catch a snow flake or a raindrop this way? I know because I've tried, and the anwer is ages. 2) Seems a very uneconomical way to distrubute drugs. Whoever invented that business model must be in deep depts by now. 3) What kind of shitty plan was that on Jonathan's part? Get Jace on drugs, he'll surely expose himself to be a traitor? I hate the fact that it works. I hate that everyone's shitty plans always work (re: Sizzy's dilettantish prison infiltration) because that's why they all keep making shitty plans. Positive reinforcement and all that. The only one who always gets punched in the face for making okay-to-good plans is Alec, and that's why he's the overthinker. So unfair.

“Well this is awkward because I just stole it for you.”

So frakkin predictable. Also, how did he steal it from the table when Izzy and Simon where guarding it?? It clearly was still there when Maia left and like

Did Jordan just grab it and run? So many questions.

Don't get me wrong, that whole forging the sword sequence was super badass, but like, if you're wielding scorching hot metal it seems a little impractical to just wear security goggles and a leather apron. There were freaking sparks flying and Izzy ducked. What the hell. What about, idk, unconventional but, a protective suit?? And Simon isn't any better. “Oh, I could die from this sword? Just lemme hide behind this doorway real quick.” *sigh* One of these days a character should die because of dumbass behavior, maybe that'd teach them all a lesson.

Also, this is totally logic. They had a splinter from the original sword that they then made tons of serum from, which they saved 3 vials of..... and somehow this was still enough to forge a whole new frikking sword that's apparently just as powerful as the original one. I don't even know where to start with this bullshit.

.................dude, if you wanted to persuade her you should have pointed out the ring to her. But maybe this isn't about logic at all, this is about wanting to know if he is Clary's first choice without logic or reason, and that would make sense for his character, even if it's not the most sensible or productive course of action.

Me, during the fight scene: “Wow, I believe all that Seelie guard slaughtering is not going to end up in a Downworlder vs Shadowhunter war again..... ha..... hahahaha.”

Arguing with a possessed person. Again. Honestly this is the, uhhh, fifth time this happens on this show? And people just seem to never learn. SIGH

Yeah, by not following the plan and acting stupid, so my sympathy is pretty limited aka non-existent. Btw his slide across the Institute floor was hilarious. And also, pretty nice of Clary not to just kill him. This is the second time she's spared him. Interesting.

ISTG IF THIS SCENE ENDS WITH A CLIFFHANGER IF HE GOES THROUGH WITH IT OR NOT IMMA FLIP MY SHIT

*manic laughter* I love that this makes so much sense. Asmodeus needs Magnus's heartbreak so he'll be susceptible to Asmodeus's influence. So his motives are shitty. On the other hand it's not as if what Asmodeus says to Magnus isn't the truth. Fighting through this will make Magnus stronger, no doubt. Knowing he can be this low and still get back on his feet without running away and succumbing to the pain. And I'm glad, for obvious reasons, that Magnus didn't go through with the memory removal because ain't nobody got time for those issues. Mending the breakup in a satisfying was will be hard enough as is. Back to the scene at hand, I gotta say I love this about Asmodeus: He doesn't lie outright, he mostly lies by omission, and he speaks enough truth to really screw with everyone's perception. It's awesome. He is such a great antagonist and his dynamic with Magnus is highly fascinating.

Conclusion: Not enough Malec (seriously, their only scenes together are flashbacks? the frakkin audacity) but tbh I'm still too high on endorphines since the memory removal didn't happen that I'm mostly okay with it. And the Jonathan-Jace comedy was nice.

[laissezferre]

review: poto manila cast: ian jon bourg, carla verdier, matt leisy

gosh, it's nice to see phantom again! the last time i saw it was in singapore five years ago or so, and since then i'd like to think that i've gained substantially more knowledge on the show's history, costumes, sets, etc, etc.--and that awareness of where things should be and where people should stand has somehow affected my viewing this time around.

i saw the show fairly early in its run, so things will most likely get better, but for its first week of shows, it's pretty solid! i didn't get to see the principal phantom and christine, and while i was pretty bummed about that initially , i realized soon enough that it wasn't such a bad deal (more on that later).

what i like most about this production is how palpable the thought behind every portrayal is. even as far as the balcony, it's very clear that christine was falling in and out of a trance/hypnosis in music of the night. it's very clear that christine was being compelled to walk towards the phantom in why so silent. it's very clear how the crowd in masquerade pokes and prods at christine (not literally) until she gets overwhelmed and confused. you can also pinpoint the exact moment in point of no return that christine realizes that the phantom is under the hood. i don't know if that's stage direction or clara verdier's acting choices, but either way, i loved it.

everyone already knows that they removed the golden angel from the proscenium. apart from that they also had to adjust scenic design and props because the theater doesn't allow open fire indoors. so, no flash in red death's exit, none as well when the phantom releases raoul from the lasso. no fireballs in wandering child. instead the floor bursts with gusts of air and some light when raoul goes near the phantom, and instead of a flash for the phantom's exit, the stage is lit with harsh red light accompanied by a loud thunder sound that rattles the auditorium, then black out.

i "think" that they slowed down some of the scenes. i remember listening to matt leisy sing his part in think of me and going "huh, he's taking his time". i felt the same way in all i ask of you reprise and the finale. someone please confirm, but does the show really last 2 hours and 10 minutes without interval?

some notable things that only fans will care about: christine falls to the floor when the mannequin moves. the phantom doesn’t catch her in time. also, the phantom doesn't drag his entire body across the stage in stranger than you dreamt it; he crawls on his knees.

could be improved: major props to the guy on soundboard that night for being alert, because feedback tried to kill our ears twice, but they got it under control before it could reach that blackboard-screeching level that haunts us all in our sleep.  sometimes i could also hear gears turning and machines whirring as the set pieces moved, which can’t be pleasant if you’re sitting on the stalls. i'm not sure if this normal, but it was noticeable when the title track switched from prerecorded to live. also, although notes 1 and 2 were considerably slowed down, i still couldn't understand most of it, same with wandering child trio. maybe poto and counterpoint just aren't meant to be.

ian jon bourg as the phantom (u/s)

as i mentioned earlier, i was a little disappointed when i learned that jonathan wasn't our phantom. i didn't check the cast board so i didn't know, but when he started singing in the mirror, i knew--that wasn't jonathan's voice. imo voice is the weak link in ian's solid performance. he struggles in music of the night; he either fades out or does an awkward falsetto that doesn't ring nicely in the ears, and he sounds out of breath. but barring that, when the notes hit right in his range, he has a lovely deep voice that booms beautifully. his voice also breaks in all the right places, giving a portrayal of a phantom that's vulnerable and sympathetic. despite being a murderer.

ian is more memorable for his acting. he doesn't have the little phantom quirks that fans love--no flicks of the wrist, no ridiculously seductive hands as they brush up his hair, but i think he's very "eric", he's canon eric. he's not fit or sexy or seductive. with ian, the audience is very much aware of who the phantom is-- an old, resentful, and lonely man. 

what ian has going for him--and here i will stick my neck out--is that he doesn't have chemistry with clara. sure, christine is drawn to him and is mystified by him, but the audience (ymmv) doesn't come out of the show choosing team eric or team raoul.

ian can pull off threatening but sympathetic really well. he acted the hell out of stranger than you dreamt it. when he got to "fear can turn to love", i shuddered because he sounded so utterly dangerous. he was the textbook delusional but controlled madman trying to convince a victim that what he's saying makes sense, and then he turns away from christine and whimpers like a child. the whiplash is incredible. what's even more incredible is that i was still able to feel for him despite all that.

this is also the first show i've seen where i can feel the phantom's age. how old is eric? late 50s? ian seems to age throughout the finale, and by the time christine kisses him and they're gaping at each other, he looks and sounds exhausted. he could barely mutter "forget all of this", and then manages to compress the bulk of his entire body into a pitiful huddle that by the end of it, everyone just feels sorry for him. carla's christine really felt for him too; she broke when he sang "i love you" but she never gave any indication that she wanted to stay.

carla verdier as christine (alt)

carla's christine is a truly terrified christine. she's not as playful or vibrant as the ones that are usually well-loved--the opposite of samantha hill, basically. the phantom really got under her skin, because it took some real comforting before she could loosen up with raoul in all i ask of you. i think she does a better act 1 than 2 when christine is really in the height of desperation. her christine eventually found her strength in the finale--when she was shielding raoul from the phantom, she was still trembling, but she managed to take tiny steps to confront the phantom, and the phantom moved away.

unfortunately, carla's voice is shrilly and thin, and once her vibrato came it stayed. i wasn't sure yet who our christine was but when she got to the part where christine was supposed to settle into singing think of me, i knew, "this isn't principal-worthy". she did that harsh inhale through the nose that sierra boggess did at the end of think of me. her voice also wavered a few times; i wasn't sure if there were mic problems or if she just had the tendency to fade out, especially when she's being drowned out by other voices. it was sad to see, because you're never fully confident that she was going to hit the note or not. that being said, her "soul began to soar" was gorgeous.

matt leisy as raoul

matt is such a supportive raoul. he's gentle with christine and he never forces himself or looms over her, even in notes 2. you know when you're watching a raoul and you keep thinking "please don't be an asshole, pls dont be an asshole". raouls are held to such a high standard of Perfect Musical Boyfriend, and matt did just that, not a single misstep.

matt has a clear voice that rises above choruses, so when he sings softly--i.e. with carla's christine--you know he's intentionally adjusting.

overall i really enjoyed poto manila, especially the clearness of direction and ian jon bourg. there were a few tech problems, but i’m sure they’ll sort it out speedily.

[blind-rats]

In 2004, UPN debuted “Veronica Mars” to what quickly became an adoring audience. Three years later, after a chaotic run that involved a network change, the constant threat of cancellation and a thwarted attempt at a Season 4 set at FBI headquarters, the series came to a close.

This week marks the 11 year anniversary of that last episode, and while it wasn’t the last we saw of Veronica (Kristen Bell) and her friends thanks to the 2014 feature film, the show’s cancellation stung. For fans who might want to revisit the first season’s highs and lows, we’ve come up with a list of the ten best episodes that demonstrate why “Veronica Mars” remains gone but not forgotten. If you’re looking for a quick introduction to the show, this list might also work (which is why we’ve arranged it chronologically).  But if you’ve never seen it, watch it from the beginning. Season 1 is just. too. good. 

“Pilot” (Episode 1)

Written by: Rob Thomas Directed by: Mark Piznarski

In less than an hour, creator Rob Thomas sets up the universe of Neptune, California — a rich elite used to getting what they want, the lower-class folks just trying to get by, and plucky teen detective Veronica Mars, forging her way through this polarized world while also investigating the case of her life. So many shows have begun with this question: “Who killed [name of girl here]?” But the fact that the person trying to solve the mystery wasn’t some unrelated detective, but the girl’s best friend elevated the series to a new plane. All of this and more was set up by the pilot, immediately diving us into a show rich with scandal and secrets, one with its own voice.

“The Wrath of Con” (Episode 4)

Written by: Diane Ruggiero Directed by: Michael Fields

This early episode doesn’t feature any major plot reveals — but it is hugely informative when it comes to the girl who was Lily Kane, and the impact she had on her friends. In paying tribute to Lily (who was brilliantly played by a then-unknown Amanda Seyfried), “Veronica Mars” went beyond the “tragically dead girl” trope to make sure Lily was remembered as vibrant, complicated and real — a message made explicit by Logan’s (Jason Dohring) tribute video seen at the end of the episode, as well as Veronica making good on a long-ago promise.

“Like a Virgin” (Episode 8)

Written by: Aury Wallington Directed by: Guy Bee

We meet the awesome Mac (Tina Majorino), the show takes on slut-shaming in an era prior to the term slut-shaming, and Veronica gets confronted with a major reveal. “Like A Virgin” is one of the show’s great examples of how to blend one-off narratives with a season-long arc; the final sequence features a jaw-dropping gut-punch pulled right out of soap operas, except the show makes sure it feels well-earned. Bell’s performance, as she copes with the potential reveal, is the primary reason for that.

“An Echolls Family Christmas” (Episode 10)

Written by: Diane Ruggiero Directed by: Nick Marck

A fateful poker game becomes a layered mystery with multiple points of view — a classic mild “Veronica solves the case” investigation with plenty of fun “Columbo” flare. What makes this a standout episode of the series, though, is the other storyline: A stalker is threatening Logan’s father Aaron, and the final minutes unravel the Echolls family in a brutal fashion. It’s one of television’s most deeply cynical Christmas episodes, but captivating on that level.

“Silence of the Lamb” (Episode 11)

Written by: Jed Seidel & Dayna Lynne North Directed by: John Kretchmer

Hey, special guest star Aaron Paul! It’s a few years before “Breaking Bad,” so he’s not listed as special, but he’s special in our hearts. Also, the case of the week is a rare dive into a hardcore murder investigation but comes with a big surprise for Mac and notable movement forward for Veronica as she takes on the Kane family’s attempts to silence her.

“Clash of the Tritons” (Episode 12)

Written by: Phil Klemmer & Aury Wallington Directed by: David Barrett

There’s a fair amount of silliness in this episode (including a sequence entirely devoted to creating an opportunity for Kristen Bell to show off her singing talents), but it’s enjoyable silliness. It also unveils a fair number of student secrets and, in the final moments, sets off a plotline that has a major impact on the rest of the season.

“Mars vs. Mars” (Episode 14)

Written by: Rob Thomas (story), Jed Seidel & Diane Ruggiero (teleplay) Directed by: Marcos Siega

This is a standalone installment from the first season, but it kicks off with a fascinating dilemma: A charismatic teacher is accused of sexual misconduct by a student and Veronica sides with the teacher. It probably helps that Mr. Riggs is played by longtime Thomas collaborator Adam Scott (who would go on to star in the seminal Starz comedy “Party Down,” created by Thomas, John Enbom, Dan Etheridge, and Paul Rudd), but the great guest star appearances don’t stop there, as future “Gossip Girl” queen bee Leighton Meester plays the girl who stands by her story despite the evidence Veronica uncovers.

“Weapons of Class Destruction” (Episode 18)

Written by: Jed Seidel Directed by: John Kretchmer

Would this episode make this list if it didn’t feature the season’s most anticipated kiss? Absolutely yes, even though it might be one of the most notable kisses of 21st century television, because the episode is also an interesting look at the issue of school violence and bullying, from a time when there wasn’t a prescribed approach on how to approach it, and even a former bully might have a tender side. Jonathan Taylor Thomas as a guest star isn’t necessarily a selling point, but he does add interesting spice to the mix (especially given that the show features no shortage of actors well above the age of 18 playing younger). More importantly, Joey Lauren Adams, as a substitute journalism instructor with the best of intentions, is legitimately a heartbreaker.

“A Trip to the Dentist” (Episode 21)

Written by: Diane Ruggiero Directed by: Marcos Siega

There were two major mysteries running through the first season of “Veronica Mars”: What happened to Lily Kane, and what happened to Veronica the night she was roofied and maybe raped? One of the show’s most brilliant moves was to solve the latter so that the former could be the entire focus of the season finale, and the way in which Veronica untangles the mystery surrounding Shelly Pomroy’s party makes for maybe one of the show’s most captivating installments.

“Leave it to Beaver” (Episode 22)

Written by: Rob Thomas (story), Rob Thomas & Diane Ruggiero (teleplay) Directed by: Michael Fields

“Leave It to Beaver” hinges on a few key reveals — it’s a deliciously twisty episode — followed by a terrifying conclusion that’s rich with action. Most importantly, it manages an impossible task: Create real closure for the season arc, but also establish interest in the narrative to come. And believe us, Season 2 is equally soaked in riches.

[aion-rsa]

TV’s Most Stressful Episodes From Battlestar Galactica to The Handmaid’s Tale

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Warning: contains spoilers for Battlestar Galactica, Chernobyl, Line of Duty, Ozark, The Handmaid’s Tale, The Knick, Lovecraft Country and Succession.

Considering that most of us watch TV to relax, it’s remarkable how many shows leave us adrenalin-flooded, with hearts beating like hummingbird wings. It’s TV characters’ fault; those guys never know when to stop. They’re always attempting a hostile takeover of the family firm, escaping a race of murderous cyborgs or trying to dismantle a totalitarian regime. It’s exhilarating but exhausting behaviour. And the better a drama is, the more invested we are in its characters, so the more we care when they put their life on the line. That means more fingernails chewed, more faces clawed in horror, and more nervous foot-tapping while we should, by rights, be melted into our sofas like… all the chocolate melted into my sofa.

Forget slow TV, canal boat travelogues and laundry-folding background series, these are the TV episodes that left us in need of some quiet time in a dark room listening to whale song. Add your own suggestions below.

Succession Season 1, Episode 6 ‘Which Side Are You On? 

Succession is a brilliant show populated by the richest and most terrible people you could ever wish to spend time with – hell, the patriarch of the family at the centre of this capitalist nightmare, Logan Roy (Brian Cox) has the catchphrase “Fuck Off!”. But this episode, the sixth of season one, is the most Succession-y episode of the lot, and therefore the most anxiety-making. In this episode Kendall Roy’s push to get the board of Waystar to stage a vote of no confidence to remove his father from office comes to a head. Attempting to sway enough board members without alerting Logan to his plans, he’s on a knife edge from start to excruciating finish. Meanwhile this ep has some of the greatest subplots of all time. Logan goes to visit the actual President of the United States who can’t see him because of a threat to security – Logan is obsessed that he’s been snubbed. Tom decides to take Greg out for a ridiculously decadent evening which involves eating a whole deep-fried rare songbird as part of the tasting menu, while we know that Greg has actually had to eat already in an awkward meal with his austere Grandfather, who’s in town specifically for the vote. Also there is an actual terrorist threat. It all culminates in a horror show of lateness, betrayal, disaster and a lot of ‘fuck offs’. Brilliant, tense telly. We love it. RF

Battlestar Galactica Season 1, Episode 1 ‘33’

While Syfy’s (at the time Sci-Fi Channel) superb reboot of Battlestar Galactica technically began with a two-part miniseries, “33” is the show’s first proper episode and it’s amazing. “33” catches us with Battlestar Galactica and its fleet of the last human beings in the universe being pursued across the reaches of space by Cylons. But the Cylons, ever-proficient machines that they are, have found a fool proof way to track down the fleet wherever they are in the universe…every…33…minutes. This episode is a perfect introduction to the themes of the series and the stresses its characters will endure. It’s hard not to empathize with the terror of the exhausted fleet as they face an existential threat every 33 minutes on the dot. AB

Line of Duty Series 3, Episode 6 ‘Breach’ 

Series three was the crossover point for Line of Duty, when it went from thinking crime fan’s drama to a show watched by everybody and their dog (it’s huge with dogs. They love all those flashing blue lights). The series three finale was the show at its most thrilling, specifically in the 10 minutes that followed the sending of a now-famous text message: “Urgent exit required.” That text was sent by ‘The Caddy’, a corrupt police officer and lifelong organised crime gang member who’d framed one of our heroes for murder. Mid-interrogation, The Caddy realised that he’d been rumbled and so alerted his criminal fraternity. They broke him out of HQ and into one of the most tense street chases on TV, courtesy of director John Strickland. Gunfire, shots taken from moving vehicles, cars spinning, people leaping in front of flying bullets, a woman in her mid-thirties being forced to do cardio… Sunday nights on BBC hadn’t been this stressful since that presenter broke that fifty grand vase on The Antiques Roadshow. The culmination of a multi-series arc, it was heart rate-racing TV – the sort of finale that makes you stand up and jog on the spot until your husband tells you to sit down, you’re scaring him. LM

Kitchen Nightmares Season 6, Episode 2 ‘Amy’s Baking Company’

The formula for Kitchen Nightmares (based on the British series Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares) is a simple one. Renowned chef and restaurateur Gordon Ramsay enters into a failing restaurant, yells at the owners and staff for a little bit, then some lessons are learned and business turns around. To say that the infamous Amy’s Baking Company episode of Kitchen Nightmares doesn’t follow this formula would be putting it lightly. This is a stressful episode of television because our hero Gordon Ramsay comes across two genuine sociopaths. Amy’s Baking Company (or ABC) is an Arizona restaurant owned by husband and wife team Amy and Sami Bouzaglo. When Gordon first enters the premises, everything seems relatively normal. But it’s not long before he discovers that Sami is a former mobster who steals tips from the servers and threatens to fight several customers a night and Amy is a bug-eyed fire demon from hell who sees enemies and conspirators around every corner. While it’s usually cathartic to watch Gordon yell at delusional small business owners, this episode has viewers praying Gordon will escape Arizona with his life intact. AB 

Read more

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The Star Trek: The Original Series Episodes That Best Define the Franchise

By Ryan Britt

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Doctor Who’s Best Comfort-Viewing Episodes

By Andrew Blair

The Handmaid’s Tale Season 3, Episode 13 ‘Mayday’

You could pick almost any episode of The Handmaid’s Tale as one of TV’s most stressful watching experiences; relaxation is not this show’s vibe. Set in a dystopia where the most dreadful things happen on so regular a basis it’s genuinely a wonder to get between two ad breaks without somebody being de-tongued or stoned to death, it’s a contender for the most stressful drama on TV. The series three finale is a particularly tense watch because the stakes are so high. Heroine June has decided to hit the brutal theocracy of Gilead where it hurts – right in its kids. She’s got the word out among resistance channels that she’s getting the children out. Bring her a child of Gilead (all of whom were either stolen from their birth parents and forcibly adopted by members of the ruling elite, or born as a product of state-sponsored rape that is the Handmaid system) and she’ll put it on a plane to Canada. What makes it particularly stressful is that when the kids start coming, they keep coming, and coming. Far more than June had allowed for. With Gilead’s thug soldiers going house to house down the street and a constant threat that somebody could betray her at any minute, June has to think and act fast. A terrifying night-time escape, a heavily patrolled airfield and 86 children to herd and keep quiet… my blood pressure’s up just remembering. LM

The Knick Season 2, Episode 10 ‘This Is All We Are’

Thanks to its dim lighting, superb early 20th century set dressing, and gallons and gallons of blood, surgical drama The Knick is always a pretty stressful viewing experience. Its series finale, “This Is All We Are” is particularly intense though. Through 20 episodes, cocaine (and then heroin)-addicted surgeon John Thackery (Clive Owen) has performed countless gory procedures. When his bowels begin to fail (due to the aforementioned) drugs, there is only one person he trusts to perform the corrective surgery on himself: himself. And that’s how viewers are entreated to the sight of our protagonist cutting open his own guts and playing around inside. That, combined with the usual finale stressors, make for one hell of a stressful episode. AB

Lovecraft Country Episode 1, ‘Sundown’

The first episode of this excellent horror drama is also one of the best and the most stressful. Setting out its stall early on, the show follows Atticus (Jonathan Majors), his uncle George (Courtney B. Vance) and friend Leti (Jurnee Smollett) as they travel into the Jim Crow South in 1950s in search of Atticus’ father. Racism is pervasive from the off but the final act of this ep sees the three racing to cross county lines before sunset to avoid the barbaric ‘sundown’ law that prohibits people of color from being out after dark and the racist sheriffs who want to enforce it. It’s a madly stressful car chase against the actual sun and even though the gang just about makes it, the law men pursue them into the woods to lynch them anyway. Fortunately, just in the nick of time a Shoggoth (many eyed, sharp-toothed killing machine) arrives increasing, but levelling out, the peril. It’s a smart, thrilling, break-neck episode that makes it clear that gore and death are definitely on the table and that monsters come in many forms. RF

Chernobyl Episode 5, ‘Vichnaya Pamyat’

Clearly, watching Chernobyl is a stressful experience. Unless the real-life nuclear disaster drama were very badly made, there’s no way it wouldn’t be. Craig Mazin’s five-part HBO series is extremely well made, which makes it extremely stressful and very involving. The first episode, in which Reactor 4 of the Ukrainian nuclear power plant explodes, unfurls like a fast-paced sci-fi thriller. In it, we see the true version of events that will go on, over the course of the next episodes, to be minimised, lied about and suppressed by a Soviet government determined not to let any chinks appear in its flawless façade, whatever the risk to its people. We meet the key players – those who will lie about the explosion, and those who will tell the truth at dire consequences to themselves. It’s in the final episode though, that crushes all the air from your lungs. In it, Jared Harris’ chemist character Valery Legasov lays the blame for truth suppression and the subsequent endangerment of life squarely at the government’s feet. Legasov does the right thing despite knowing it will cost him everything. Watching it feels like witnessing a man get buried alive. LM

Ozark Season 3 Episode 9, ‘Fire Pink’

Heartbreak is stressful, no? The sensation of one’s heart being squeezed hard, steadily, for 62 minutes, until the point that it breaks, is anybody’s definition of stress. That’s exactly what season three Ozark episode ‘Fire Pink’ does, thanks to Tom Pelphrey’s performance as Wendy Byrde’s tragically unstable younger brother Ben. When an All-American family the Byrdes start laundering international drug cartel money in secret, the key word is ‘secret’. Loose lips sink ships, and just when the Byrdes really can’t afford to fuck up, enter: Ben. He doesn’t mean any harm, but off his bipolar meds, he also can’t be trusted to keep quiet. In ‘Fire Pink’ Ben makes one slip-up after another and his every attempt to right those wrongs only digs him and the Byrdes in deeper. As the hour unfurls, we watch Wendy fight inwardly against what she knows to be true: Ben is just too great a liability and something has to be done. It’s a remarkably stressful hour, involving a speed boat escape, a stomach-dropping appearance from the cops, a road trip, a diner and a phone call. And it’ll break your heart. LM

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[your-dietician]

NBA 2021 mock draft roundup — June 28

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NBA 2021 mock draft roundup — June 28

Just over a month away from the 2021 NBA Draft, it’s time for Denver Stiffs to begin its coverage of the next wave of potential NBA stars and the next step in their journey to the big leagues. Denver Stiffs will be releasing plenty of draft content over the next month, culminating in an all day affair on July 29th, 2021. The Denver Nuggets have the 26th overall pick and will most likely select a player (or two) to add to their playoff core for the next several years. In preparation for that, Denver Stiffs will be putting together draft profiles, big boards, and various rankings with the hope of informing readers on the next wave of draftees.

In this piece, we begin with a roundup of several mock drafts from the most trusted sources around the internet. One of the major mock drafts listed below had connected Zeke Nnaji and the Nuggets at 22nd overall in last year’s draft for a significant amount of time beforehand. So, there’s something to be gleaned from hearing what the experts have to say about Denver’s draft options.

Every two weeks, Denver Stiffs will be revisiting the mock draft roundup as information changes and players move up and down draft boards. For now, let’s take a look at who the experts have the Nuggets selecting at 26th overall this year:

SB Nation – Ricky O’Donnell, June 22

26. Denver Nuggets – Joel Ayayi, G, Gonzaga

Ayayi was the best fourth option in the country playing on a Gonzaga team that started three All-Americans in Suggs, Kispert, and returning center Drew Timme. The 6’5 French guard was a perfect complementary piece playing in such a talented ecosystem, providing spot-up shooting (39 percent from three on 95 attempts) and supplemental playmaking for the second most efficient college basketball offense since 2002. Ayayi isn’t a brilliant creator off the dribble and will have to add muscle to his frame, but it feels like he can be a nice addition to a Denver backcourt that was ravaged by injuries last season.

Like O’Donnell stated above, Ayayi was a perfect complementary piece to an efficient Gonzaga offense. He shot 36.0% from three-point range and an absurd 64.3% from two-point range in his three-year stint with the Bulldogs. Listed at 6’5 and 180 pounds, Ayayi may need to add some muscle to play a wing position. Still, he’d be helpful for a Nuggets backcourt that will be vertically challenged at times with Monte Morris and Facundo Campazzo playing major roles.

Check out the full SB Nation mock draft here.

ESPN – Jonathan Givony, June 22

26. Denver Nuggets – Ayo Dosunmu, G, Illinois

Adding quality wing depth should be a priority for the Nuggets, who will likely be without Jamal Murray next season and will see several rotation players enter free agency. Dosunmu was one of the best players in the college game and looks like an easy fit in the NBA game as a versatile 3-and-D guard with strong competitive traits. He can defend multiple positions and has strong role-playing potential operating alongside stars.

Dosunmu is an intriguing three-year college player from Illinois who has great size for the point guard position and solid defensive skills. He was given the Bob Cousy award for best collegiate point guard this year, an award given to players like Payton Pritchard, Ja Morant, and Jalen Brunson in each of the last three seasons. Dosunmu’s game should translate well as a combo guard at the next level, and the Nuggets could always use more playmakers with defensive skills.

Check out the full ESPN mock draft here.

The Athletic – Sam Vecenie, June 22

26. Denver Nuggets – Greg Brown, F, Texas

The player: Brown is all over the place for NBA teams. On one hand, he’s one of the most explosive athletes in the class, a genuinely elite explosiveness guy as a leaper who can sky as a dunker and weak-side shot blocker. He showed some flashes as a shooter. If the right team can develop his game, he has the upside of a starter. Or at the very least, as a useful rotation player as an energetic backup center. Look at how guys like John Collins, Blake Griffin and Marcus Morris have had success playing bigger in the playoffs. It’s valuable if you can find the right guy. Brown’s athleticism gives him a shot to be that guy if he can get stronger and shoot it.

The fit: The idea would be to take a flier on someone who can eventually play in a frontcourt with Michael Porter Jr. and Nikola Jokic. Brown is a strong fit if his game comes together, and the Nuggets have a history of trusting their developmental staff to improve players and set them up for success. It’ll take Brown a year or two, but the Nuggets have proven patient, and he’s such a strong fit if it works that I’d love to see him end up here.

Brown would be a project player for the Nuggets who almost certainly wouldn’t play in his first season in the NBA. At such a young age, that wouldn’t be the expectation, but the Nuggets would hope for quick progress from an athletic forward like Brown, whose athleticism and leaping ability stick out in a major way. He wasn’t a great college player, and there aren’t many instances of freshman with subpar shooting indicators suddenly being able to contribute to high level NBA playoff basketball. Still, if the Nuggets deem Brown worthy of a flyer, then it’s because they’re willing to be patient once again.

Check out the full The Athletic mock draft here.

Bleacher Report – Jonathan Wasserman, June 22

26. Denver Nuggets – Ayo Dosunmu, G, Illinois

Wasserman didn’t share any specific thoughts on Dosunmu to the Nuggets in this piece, but he has had Dosunmu connected to the Nuggets before. Wasserman has ranked Dosunmu in the 30 to 50 range on his NBA Draft big board as it has evolved over the last few months.

The Nuggets have been known to reach on prospects they like or that fit a nee as well as apply the best player available approach at different times. Both strategies have produced hits for Denver, and neither is explicitly a better option for where the Nuggets currently stand as a franchise. They need role players to contribute around their stars, but they also need top end talent to sustain their contention window.

Which category Dosunmu falls into remains to be seen, though it appears that Wasserman would call this selection a reach for Denver based on need.

Check out the full Bleacher Report mock draft here.

The Ringer – Kevin O’Connor, June 25

26. Denver Nuggets – Rokas Jokubaitis, G, Žalgiris Kaunas

The Nuggets have done a great job of acquiring high-IQ talent who can vibe with Nikola Jokic, which is why Jokubaitis makes sense as a project to grow in their system. He brings a craftiness to the floor, and with Will Barton and Facundo Campazzo both set to hit free agency in the next two offseasons and Jamal Murray recovering from a torn ACL, Denver could use backcourt support.

Jokubaitis isn’t one of the names I’m most familiar with, but as an international player in a Lithuanian league, the Nuggets are uniquely connected to parts of the basketball world otherwise under-discussed by folks like me. Žalgiris Kaunas is a EuroLeague team where American players like Thomas Walkup and Nigel Hayes are playing, while old friend Joffrey Lauvergne, so for a 20-year-old like Jokubaitis, it will have been good professional experience. O’Connor compares the young Lithuanian to Tomas Satoransky in the NBA and highlights his playmaking skills at 6’4 as reasons for the Nuggets to take a chance on him.

Check out the full Ringer mock draft here.

Yahoo – Krysten Peak, June 23

26. Denver Nuggets – Jared Butler, G, Baylor

Peak didn’t share any additional commentary on the selections in the back half of the first round, but the Butler selection is very much in the Monte Morris mold. After winning a championship with Baylor in his junior season, earning consensus All-American first team as well as Big 12 All-Defensive first team along with his teammates Davion Mitchell and Mark Vital, Butler will look to carve out a role at the NBA level. He won Most Outstanding Player in the NCAA tournament this year, so he’s likely to do so in my eyes.

As more of a point guard than a shooting guard, he’d have a difficult time finding an immediate role in Denver, though he would be great insurance for Monte Morris and Facundo Campazzo. When Jamal Murray returns to full health though, it’s unlikely that any point guards outside of Murray and Morris would have a significant role. Still, if Butler is the best player available, then he would be a good selection for the long term.

Check out the full Yahoo Sports draft here.

CBS Sports – Gary Parrish, June 22

26. Denver Nuggets – Jaden Springer, G, Tennessee

Jaden Springer made above 43% of his 3-point attempts in his one season of college, which is an encouraging stat even if it was on limited attempts. Among the youngest players in this draft, he could develop into an important piece that upgrades Denver’s backcourt.

Springer is one of the youngest players in the draft but also has some of the best shooting indicators for long term success. He shot 43.5% from three-point range at Tennessee (albeit on just 46 attempts) and he also shot 81% from the free throw line to back those shooting numbers up. Measuring at roughly 6’4 with a 6’8 wingspan at the NBA Draft combine, Springer shows an ability to drive into the lane, absorb contact, and make great decisions while in the teeth of the defense. Doing so at such a young age is encouraging.

The Nuggets could add Springer in the way they added RJ Hampton last year and expect him not to play. He projects to be a player they could utilize though, and his basketball IQ appears wise beyond his years. He would be a great fit next to Murray in the Nuggets offense led by Nikola Jokić, and he’d be my choice among all players if he were on the board at 26th overall.

Check out the full CBS Sports mock draft here.

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[roadytimesthree]

Twin High Maintenance Machines

Something quick for my favourite holiday (NYE). Content warning for recreational alcohol and marijuana use. It’s New Year’s 1989 and the gang is 17/18. 1700 words. Michael Wheeler/Will Byers.

Will Byers was ready for 1989 to be over, and it hadn’t even started yet. He sighed, glancing at the clock on the wall in his family’s living room. Its hands were at roughly 11:30PM, but everyone was already beginning to fade. The bottles of champagne they’d pooled their cash for and convinced Joyce to buy for them were all but tapped—one remained to be uncorked at midnight.

Lucas and Max were having a soft conversation to his right, Max on Lucas’s lap eating a leftover Christmas cookie. She was the only person not imbibing, having been recruited, as usual, to ferry Lucas, Dustin, and Jane to and from the Byler residence. It never came as any surprise to Will that Max eschewed alcohol. They were both intimately familiar with the way it could turn loved ones into violent shadows of themselves.

Mike shifted next to him, pressing their thighs together on the sofa in a way that made his heart skip a beat. Will had spent some years agonizing over his feelings for Mike, but after he’d pushed past his own reticence about liking guys, he just came to accept the inevitability. He didn’t have many people to compare notes with, but he felt pretty confident that if the average young gay man had an attractive best friend who lavished them with affection and a seemingly limitless level of devotion, they’d fall in love, too.

If he stared too closely or hugs lasted a few beats too long, he wasn’t hurting anyone. (Except, perhaps, his own emotional well being.) The dating pool for people like himself in Hawkins was more akin to a puddle and he barely had space inside his head and heart for someone new—so long as Mike was taking up the majority of the prime real estate.

His thoughts were interrupted when Dustin laughed, loudly, a sound that always surprised Jane a little bit. Her eyes widened but she smiled, watching him with a curious expression. Dustin picked up a sparkler from a plastic bag on the floor, as he continued to explain the chemical reactions that made the beautiful lights and colours.

“Anyway, you’ll see for yourself in just a bit,” Dustin said, an edge of excitement in his voice. Jane made a small noise of agreement, turning the bottle rocket in her fingers over.

“Okay,” Dustin announced, slapping his hands against his knees. “T-minus 30 minutes until the new year. Let’s go around the room and say our resolutions.”

Lucas groaned. “Come on, Dustin, that’s like… Shit that our parents do on New Year’s.”

“We can be sophisticated!” He insisted.

“Resolutions?” Jane said uncertainly, glancing from Lucas to Dustin.

“It’s like a promise you make to yourself, for the next year,” Mike offered.

“Or like a wish,” Dustin added.

“Wish,” Jane echoed.

“I’ll go first,” Dustin said, in a reassuring voice. “My resolution for 1989 is… To get into MIT.” Lucas nodded his approval. “What about you, El?”

“Finish school,” she said after a moment.

“Get my driver’s license,” Lucas said firmly. Dustin laughed. “What? It’s not my fault they keep failing me during the driving test.” Dustin’s eyes narrowed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you practice,” Max said with a grin.

“Yeah, I don’t know if that will really help,” Dustin interjected.

“Hey, I’m a great driver, asshole. If you think otherwise, you’re free to walk home tonight.”

“Hey, hey, that’s not what I’m saying, just, you know. It’s the same reason you guys always do worse on a test you study for together,” Dustin said, before making obnoxious kissing sounds.

“He’s not wrong,” Lucas said, wincing when Max punched his arm.

“What about you, Mikey?” Dustin asked, turning to Will and Mike.

“Don’t really have one,” Mike said with a shrug.

“What about being less moody?” Dustin offered. Mike responded with an extremely exaggerated eye roll.

“I’m pretty sure it’s a teenage rite of passage to be moody, Dustin,” Will said, not taking his eyes off Mike’s face. Mike stuck his tongue out at him before smiling.

“What about you, Will?”

“Um. Get the hell out of Hawkins, probably.”

“Aww,” Dustin said softly, feigning hurt.

“You don’t love us any more, Will?” Lucas simpered.

“Yes, I specifically want to get away from all of you.” Next to him, Mike clutched his chest and gasped before laughing.

“I understand,” Jane said softly, looking Will in the eye. He smiled at her.

They chatted for a few more moments before Dustin glanced up at the clock.

“Shit, we should start setting up the fireworks,” he said, looking over at Lucas. “You guys wanna help?” he asked, turning to Will and Mike.

“I’m going for a smoke,” Will announced to a small round of booing. Will rolled his eyes.

“I’ll join you,” Mike offered, pulling a cigarette from a pack in his shirt pocket and placing it between his lips.

“Thanks, guys. Real helpful,” Dustin grumbled, grabbing the bags at his feet.

“I’ll help,” Jane offered. Dustin shared a no-longer-toothless grin with her.

As they stepped outside, Max, Lucas, Dustin and Jane continued out onto the snowy lawn while Mike and Will lingered on the porch, leaning on the railing. Mike offered to light Will’s cigarette and he leaned forward obediently into the flame, thanking Mike when he was done.

Mike and Will had always had a tactile relationship, but something had changed recently. Three weeks prior Mike had walked Will home from school, the ground at last too treacherous with half frozen snow and packed ice for cycling. Will had slipped—a not uncommon occurrence, as his hand-me-down boots from Jonathan were a couple sizes too large.

Mike had caught him by the elbow, hoisting him back up and taking his hand, helping him steady himself. But he hadn’t let go. They’d walked the remaining distance to the Byers’s home hand in hand, fingers laced together. When they arrived, they’d settled in to read the week’s latest issues of The Amazing Spiderman and Wolverine shoulder to shoulder, despite ample room on the living room sofa to spread out.

Since then Will had felt—or perhaps just imagined—that hugs with Mike lasted a little longer, embraces were a little tighter, words spoken a little closer. It wasn’t the first time he’d fantasized about the tables turning and Mike suddenly wanting something more than just friendship. Even if it wasn’t true, at least it gave him something warm to daydream about as another frigid Indiana winter set in.

Mike had succeeding in lighting his own cigarette, despite the wind (and no assistance from Will) and as he exhaled Will wrinkled his nose.

“Mike… That’s not tobacco,” he said, amused. Mike laughed.

“Don’t worry about it, Will.” Will snorted.

“Oh, I won’t. Trust me, your sister has smoked weed in front of me more often than you have.” “What, really? Nance?” Mike laughed again, wiping his eyes. “I guess she gets it from Jonathan.” “Think it’s the other way around,” Will murmured, smiling as he took another drag from his cigarette.

“Want some?” Mike asked, turning the joint toward him. Will shook his head.

“It makes me cough.” Mike shrugged.

“I could shotgun you. Makes the smoke softer.”

Will set his jaw. “Uh, sure,” he managed after a moment. Mike took a long drag before leaning toward him. Will’s mouth opened and his head tilted to the side instinctively, breathing in as Mike breathed out. The taste of the weed was somewhere between skunk and cypress, gently masked by the tobacco and the slightest hint of Mike.

Will leaned back and blinked a few times, feeling slightly lightheaded as he held the smoke in before releasing it in a long breath. He reached up to touch his lips, slightly moist with saliva.

“Sorry,” Mike said sheepishly. “I slobbered on you a little.” Will shivered at the sensation of Mike’s thumb running across his bottom lip, the hard keratin of his thumbnail dragging across the sensitive skin.

He could hear Dustin and Lucas start shouting a 30-second countdown on the front lawn. Mike ashed his joint and smiled at Will, knocking their shoulders together.

“What?” Will asked with a small smile.

“Nothin’.” Mike answered nonchalantly, taking another drag. Will hummed and did the same.

He heard Dustin and Lucas reach the 10-second mark and sighed.

“I’m ready for the eighties to end,” Will murmured. Mike nodded along, watching Dustin frantically lighting his litany of bottle rockets, plunged in a line into the lawn. The first couple took off with a shower of sparks and burst, the sound echoing through the clearing in front of the house. Max made a small noise of delight and Jane clapped, transfixed.

“Happy New Year!” Dustin howled, igniting a roman candle. Will watched as Max and Lucas embraced and smiled in spite of himself. He was about to turn to say something to Mike when he felt him suddenly lurch forward and plant a clumsy kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“Happy New Year,” Mike said softly. Will blinked rapidly.

“Um,” Will began, blood rushing in his ears. “Happy New Year,” he managed after a moment.

“Sorry,” Mike said quickly, “I should have asked.”

“No, no, it’s—I liked it. It’s fine.” He licked his lips. “You missed, though.” Mike laughed.

“Yeah?”

“You can try again. If you want,” Will amended, biting the inside of his cheek. Mike stubbed out his joint on the porch railing, straightening up and leaning closer. Their noses bumped together awkwardly and Will laughed.

“One more try,” Mike said in a whisper that made Will’s hair stand on end.

Their lips connected at last and it was suddenly perfect, like when the head of a match finally strikes and ignites. Will took in a deep breath through his nose. A warm sensation flooded his senses as he felt Mike’s hand move against his cheek, sliding along his jawline and behind his head, fingers running through the soft hair at the base of his skull.

Mike pulled away after a moment to catch his breath, but his hand stayed in place, keeping Will close. They stared at each other for a few beats before Will surged forward, throwing his arms around Mike and kissing him again. Mike suppressed a laugh, likely startled by his sudden enthusiasm. Will pulled back.

“Sorry,” he whispered, breathless.

“It’s cool. I liked it,” Mike said softly, smiling as he covered Will’s lips with his own again.

Will Byers never wanted 1989 to end, and it had only just begun.

[bomberlandia]

Part I: Ranking Every Bomber Since 2015

Welcome to Bomberlandia’s first ever look at every Essendon player that pulled on a jumper since 2015, featuring historian and lifelong Bombers diehard Dr. Dan Eddy. As far as I can tell, there’s never been an undertaking where someone has ranked every Essendon player for a period of time. In 2002 Simon Matthews wrote a book and ranked the 60 greatest Bombers players of all-time. I’m sure there have been other variations of that. But those books don’t include every player for a period of time. And some of those books need to be revised or revisited.

This is what got me curious about looking at the last five years of Essendon players and who sits where and who has made an impact. Also, apart from being something to read during the postseason I think these rankings will help explain Essendon’s story from 2015 until now by taking stock of who’s come and gone, who’s been able to stay the journey and which players failed to deliver.

I could never do these kind of rankings on my own. It’s an unreasonable task. For this I enlisted the help of prolific book writer Dan Eddy, someone who has analyzed Essendon through an historic lens and someone who really knows his AFL stuff.

The hope with this first initial crack is that it becomes an annual postseason tradition, where rookies and current players can improve their ranking or if things don’t work out, they can potentially fall. These rankings come at a time where the Bombers haven’t had a lot of success. But there’s a lot of players that have had opportunities to prove themselves since 2015. We’re now starting to see some of the kids step up like Andrew McGrath, Jordan Ridley, Kyle Langford, Darcy Parish, Sam Draper, Brandon Zerk-Thatcher, Irving Mosquito. These developments have been intriguing to observe.

Quite often with rankings they can get bogged down in statistics, and sometimes that’s the only way to separate one player from the next, but numbers sometimes don’t tell the whole story of what a player means to a football team. What we’re looking for are things like longevity and service to the team, elite skills, and sure, accolades. But we’re coating all of that with gut feels. And to be frank, this list is not perfect or definitive but it’s a start and most of all it will be fun to digest. We acknowledge there’s certainly some players too high and too low but we’re ok with that.

Here’s Part I of Ranking Every Essendon Player Since 2015.

Players ranked from 85 to 39

85. Nathan Grima 84. Tom Jok 83. Jonathan Giles 82. Jonathan Simpkin

JR: This quartet feels like the right way to kick off this list at the back end. Giles, Simpkin and Grima were top-ups for the 2016 season. Jok is the most interesting “what could have been” talent. Bombers picked him with their first pick in 2018 and called him an “exciting and raw prospect.” He played one game and was then delisted. What happened to Jok? I wish I had an answer.

DE: I realise Grima was taken at a time when we were desperate for players, but we should never have picked him up. Ranks with our worst ever selections, in my view.

81. Ned Cahill 80. Mitch Hibberd

JR: It’s early days for Ned but he shows promise. He could evolve and become a household name. Mitch Hibberd, with limited opportunity, looks more at home as a solid VFL contributor (saying that based on very small looks).  

DE: I agree on both fronts. Wait and see with Ned. As for Mitch, nothing wrong with his size but not sure he will be capable of holding down a senior spot over the long-term.

79. Sam Michael 78. Alex Browne 77. Tom Cutler 76. Sam Grimley 75. James Polkinghorne 74. Andrew Phillips 73. James Gwilt

JR: Browne was one of the banned supplement saga players who only managed 11 games in five years and was entering his prime in 2015. Browne injured his ACL in the 2014 pre-season and never fully got back into the mix. Probably had the most promise and potential in this section of players.

DE: I had high hopes for Cutler when we recruited him from Brisbane, as I felt his size could be of advantage to our list. But his first season was a disappointment. Hopefully in year two he can have more impact. Gwilt was another, like Grima, who we should never have recruited.

72. Jake Long 71. Kobe Mutch 70. Brandon Zerk-Thatcher

JR: Long and Mutch failed to take the next step but BZT had a season of growth and should progress to be a Top 40 player.  

DE: Tough gig for Jake Long, trying to emerge from his famous father Michael’s long shadow (pun intended). I’m glad he got to wear red and black, though, even if his time at the club was brief. If BZT keeps improving his fitness and builds on his strength, will be interesting to see how far he can go.

69. Jason Ashby 68. Ariel Steinberg 67. Elliott Kavanagh 66. Josh Begley 65. Mark Jamar 64. Brayden Ham 63. Nick O’Brien 62. Ben McNeice 61. Craig Bird 60. Tayte Pears

JR: I really thought Josh “Fridge” Begley was going to be something at Essendon. I watched a pre-season game against the Suns in his rookie year and he was clobbering blokes, laying tackles and kicking goals. He kicked the sealer against the Crows during a comeback win at Etihad in Round One that same year. His departure was perhaps more about list balance or not developing as quickly as the Bombers hoped. Tayte Pears was a very solid player. Unfortunately he was decimated by injuries which prevented his development. He could never get to that next level he needed to be at to cement his spot in the team. Ultimately his ailments curbed his progression

DE: Lots of players here who had impacts, but unfortunately were unable to sustain levels of consistency. I liked Pears, so was disappointed that injury cruelled him as he was entering his prime. Wasn't quick, but gave his all. I agree with your summation of Begley. When I first saw him, I was super excited about the possibilities. But, for whatever reason, didn't come on as hoped.

59. Mathew Stokes 58. Shaun Edwards 57. Nick Kommer 56. Irving Mosquito 55. Matt Leunberger 54. Will Hams 53. Jacob Townsend 52. Ryan Crowley 51. Jackson Merrett 50. Michael Hartley

JR: Like Chapman, the Cats got the best out of Mathew Stokes. In 2016 he came in as a top-up player for a “one-time only” season. He kicked 6.5 which was better than his previous year at Geelong. If we’re nickel and dime’ing here, Townsend’s 9.5 in his first year with Essendon nets him a higher ranking. I can see his position improve with a retooled forward line that will include a fit Stringer, Stewart and Peter Wright.

DE: Wasn’t a Crowley fan before he came to Essendon as one of those famous ‘top-up’ players. But have great admiration for him for what he did for our club during its time of need. Same with Stokes. Townsend has been disappointing in terms of his output, but too much was probably expected of him in our ineffective, underperforming forward line this year. Mozzie promises plenty, so hopefully he keeps improving year on year.

49. Dylan Clarke 48. Josh Green 47. Jayden Laverde   46. Will Snelling

JR: A former Essendon coach once told me that Laverde should be a lot better than he is but the Bombers haven’t done enough to develop him. This makes me curious then: what’s Laverde’s ceiling? Of all the Bombers’ peripheral players, Laverde stands out with his contested work. Inconsistent? Sure. And he’s not a no.1 key forward. But there’s something there. I think he has more to offer than McKernan. He could be a Mihocek. 

DE: Great to see Snelling receive another contract, as he was one of few shining lights during the car crash that was the 2020 season. Laverde has plenty of potential, just needs to become more consistent. That we haven't had a stable forward structure for some time probably hasn't helped him, but I see good upside if we keep a full list on the park.

45. Matt Dea 44. James Stewart 43. Aaron Francis 42. Matt Guelfi 41. Paul Chapman 40. Jason Winderlich

JR: Chapman was thrown a life-line and bagged 30 goals in two seasons. That’s pretty special. It’s not Michael Long’s run down the wing and goal in the ‘93 Grand Final special, but that’s a solid output from a then 34-year old when the club needed it. Winderlich was plagued by constant injuries – back, ACL, and more back troubles. His leg speed was phenomenal when fit.

DE: Thought Dea was terrific for us, and Chappy provided important leadership during dark times. Francis has such potential, but lacks consistency and impact. Wish Stewart got more of the ball, as that would help us up forward where we desperately need a couple of dominant key pillars. 

39. Jake Carlisle

JR: So, we end Part I of this journey with an anti-climatic Jake Carlisle. A guy who could take contested marks with ease, yet, could make you loathe him in an instant with his off-field “theatrics” My final memory of Carlisle was when he shouted “this club is f – ‘ed” in a match against the Giants in 2015 and that’s not a good memory to have of any player. I’m glad he no longer plays for the Bombers. 

DE: Carlisle could have been an all-time great defender at Essendon, but his final season was a major let-down and I was really disappointed in how he departed. In the end, I was glad to see him go. Like you JR, I lost total respect for him after that comment, and wasn't surprised with what happened a few weeks later at St Kilda.

________________________________________

Historian Dr Dan Eddy is the author of 12 books, including “King Richard” and “Always Striving.” A life-long Bomber supporter, you can follow him on Twitter @DanEddyBooks35 and read his sports books at www.daneddybooks.com.  

[junker-town]

Here are the winners and losers from a wild MLB trade deadline

The Padres were ultra aggressive, while the Yankees and Rays decided to stand pat.

The 2020 MLB trade deadline is unlike any other in the history of the sport. With an expanded playoff format and a truncated season, most teams believe they have a shot at the playoffs this year, and we all know anything can happen in the MLB postseason if you make it.

Teams also have had less time to determine if they’re buyers or sellers, and perhaps more financial concerns than ever before given the lack of fans in stadiums. While there was some speculation teams could be hesitant to add salary in the weeks leading up to the deadline, we saw several aggressive moves with headline talent changing teams that reinforces just how wide open the World Series chase will be this season.

The San Diego Padres are all-in. The Oakland A’s added reinforcements. Cleveland traded a stud pitcher even while in first place in their division. Here are the winners and losers from the 2020 trade deadline.

The San Diego Padres are the trade deadline’s biggest winner

It’s been 14 seasons since the San Diego Padres last made the MLB playoffs. Now armed with arguably the most exciting young core in baseball after a long rebuild, San Diego entered the trade deadline with the third best record in the National League. Most expected the Padres to look to bolster their roster, but no one could have predicted just how aggressive executive A.J. Preller would actually be.

The Padres are all-in on trying to make the World Series. San Diego picked up the single best player moved during the trade deadline in acquiring starting pitcher Mike Clevinger. They also acquired slugging catcher Austin Nola from the Seattle Mariners, first baseman Mitch Moreland from the Red Sox, and veteran catcher Jason Castro from the Angels.

The Padres gave up depth for Clevinger, their No. 5 prospect Taylor Trammell for Nola, and two quality prospects — outfielder Jeisson Rosario and infielder Hudson Potts — for Moreland. The best part of San Diego’s moves? Their farm system is still loaded:

Even after this trade the Padres still have 2nd best farm by fangraphs using their value system

— B-L-M/Life Long Pelicans fan (@advancedstats23) August 31, 2020

The Clevinger deal feels like the biggest winner for the Padres, getting a top of the rotation starter while preserving most of the best talent in their farm system. The prices were higher than expected for Nola and Moreland, but we’re still naming San Diego a winner simply because they’re going for it. The aggression has to be such a welcomed sight for a long-suffering fanbase that has never seen a World Series championship.

Seattle and Boston are also winners for their trades with San Diego

Two things can be true: the Padres deserve praise for trying to win the damn thing this season, and they also gave up some promising long-term prospects for short-term success. That should be perfectly fine with San Diego: part of having so many talented young players and splashy free agent additions like Manny Machado is that there simply isn’t room for everyone. The Mariners and the Red Sox are happy to take some youngsters off their hands.

The big piece going to Seattle is Trammell, a super fast left fielder with power potential. While his throwing arm is questionable and his slugging percentage has dropped a bit after failed swing adjustments as a Reds prospect, it’s still a nice upside bet for the Mariners in exchange for an odd ball catcher like Nola who only has 108 career games at the MLB level under his belt despite being 30 years old.

Kate Preusser has a tremendous look at Trammell over at our Mariners community, Lookout Landing. Seattle will hope the soon-to-be 23-year-old’s power reemerges and his speed adds excitement to the big league club.

reminder that Taylor Trammell’s last official at-bat of 2019 (and as a Padres prospect) was a go-ahead grand slam for the @sodpoodles in the top of the 9th inning of the Texas League championship game pic.twitter.com/FxLSlkNFKZ

— Céspedes Family BBQ (@CespedesBBQ) August 31, 2020

Trammell is also Rule-5 eligible in Dec., so San Diego would have to make a decision on him soon either way. It feels like a good exchange for both teams.

The Red Sox also got a nice haul for Moreland with Potts and Rosario. Like Trammell, both prospects going to Boston will be Rule-5 eligible at the end of the season. Potts is a third baseman with major power potential who has issues making contact. Rosario knows how to walk and has plus-speed, but his upside will ultimately be determined by how his hit tool comes along.

Our Red Sox community Over the Monster has a terrific look at Potts and Rosario from writer Matt Collins. The site has Potts slotting in as Boston’s No. 10 prospect, and Rosario as the team’s No. 13 prospect. Not a bad haul for an aging first baseman like Moreland who was hitting over his head this season for a team that isn’t in contention.

The Indians probably didn’t get enough back for Clevinger

Clevinger is one of the better starting pitchers in the American League when he’s on. Of course, he also broke the trust of his team by forgoing Covid protocol to go party in Chicago.

Cleveland has plenty of quality starting pitchers and an amazing history of pitcher development. Even still, it feels like they sold low on Clevinger, getting depth from the Padres but no studs.

Gabriel Arias was Padres’ No. 7 prospect, lefty pitcher Joey Cantillo was their No. 9 prospect, and middle infielder Owen Miller was No. 11. Cleveland also got Josh Naylor, who they intend to play in the bigs the rest of the season. Read Let’s Go Tribe for a full breakdown on Naylor.

Perhaps it comes down to organizational philosophy in determining whether Cleveland is a winner or loser. The Tribe acquired several young players who project as regulars, but no stars. When trading a true top of the rotation arm like Clevinger, the preference here would be to get a stud in return. We’ll see how it works out for Cleveland.

The Oakland A’s are a winner for getting two 2019 All-Stars for little

The Oakland A’s feel like they’re primed for a World Series run this year. The A’s entered the deadline with the second best record in the American League, and bolstered the roster by adding a pair of players who were All-Stars just last season at minimal cost.

Tommy La Stella feels like a perfect fit for Oakland. The infielder is an impressive contact hitter with surprising power who has a rare ability to avoid strikeouts. Alex Hall at our A’s site Athletics Nation wrote up a nice summary of why La Stella could be such a good addition for Oakland despite being poor defensively:

There is nobody in the majors who strikes out less than La Stella. He’s fanned SEVEN times in 117 plate appearances, good for a 6% rate. Seeing a single-digit value in that K-rate looks like a typo, but in this case it’s not. And it’s not a short 2020 fluke, as his rate the previous summer was 8.7%. That’s 438 plate appearances worth of a skill that takes far fewer than that to normalize

Even better, when La Stella hits the ball he actually does something with it. His 2019 breakout season featured 16 homers in 80 games, and this summer he has a .202 isolated slugging percentage — that would rank fifth on the A’s, ahead of Mark Canha, Marcus Semien, Ramon Laureano, and Sean Murphy. La Stella isn’t just a slap hitter, he’s a guy who hits everything and drives it.

The A’s also acquired pitcher Mike Minor from the Texas Rangers on Monday. He fills Oakland’s big need for starting pitching help. Minor has been very good the last three seasons, and was excellent last year — 3.59 ERA, 208⅓ innings pitched, 200 strikeouts — as he was named an All-Star.

Minor has struggled this season, posting a 5.60 ERA thus far. Even still, the A’s didn’t appear to give up too much for Minor, who feels like a buy-low option with a high ceiling and gives the rotation something it needed badly: a starter who can actually strike out opposing batters. Read Athletics Nation for more on Minor.

The Blue Jays are making a playoff push by improving their rotation

Nothing comes easy in the AL East with the league-leading Tampa Bay Rays at the top of the division and the Yankees always lurking. But credit the Toronto Blue Jays for making aggressive moves to get into the wild card in the expanded playoff format. Toronto made several acquisitions with a focus on improving their pitching depth.

The Blue Jays’ starting rotation was shaky, especially after the injury bug hit multiple players in the last few weeks. Enter Taijuan Walker, a 28-year-old who only needs to be league-average to be a big boost to the rotation. Walker had a UCL tear and subsequent Tommy John surgery in 2018, but has looked solid this year even as his velocity has dropped. In five starts this season with the Mariners, Walker posted a 4.00 ERA. In his first start with the Blue Jays, Walker went six innings, allowed zero runs, and only four hits to beat the Orioles.

The Blue Jays also added starter Robbie Ray from the Diamondbacks on Monday. Ray has impressive strikeout stuff, but has struggled with control. So far he’s been rocked this year for a 7.84 ERA, but he’s still worth a gamble as a rental if Toronto can unlock something that once made him a dependable starter in 2017.

Right before the deadline, Toronto acquired 29-year-old infield Jonathan Villar from the Marlins. He’s hitting .272/.328/.360 in 29 games this season and gives Toronto a switch hitter and someone who can fill a utility role.

Toronto made one last buzzer-beater, acquiring Ross Stripling from the Dodgers.

Ross Stripling has been traded from the Dodgers to the Blue Jays. That's three new starters for Toronto.

— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) August 31, 2020

The Marlins are buying and selling at once

The Miami Marlins were expected to be one of baseball’s worst teams this year. Instead, Miami got off to a red hot start before falling back to Earth lately. Even still, the Marlins entered the deadline just one game under .500. It feels shocking to see Miami as one of the most active teams at the deadline, both buying and selling to give the team a shot at the expanded wild card this year while also still building for the future.

The Marlins acquired Starling Marte for the Diamondbacks, who posted an .845 OPS with the Pirates last year and has posted similar numbers at the plate in 33 games with Arizona this season. Marte is also under a team option next year, giving Miami a solid bat for two seasons with cost control.

As for dealing Villar, Miami was trading from a position of strength:

The main reason why Villar was dealt, is that Isan Díaz has returned to the club. Awaiting MLB joint committee reinstatement in Jupiter. Will take over as starter at 2B. Díaz opted out in July. He is back.

— Craig Mish (@CraigMish) August 31, 2020

The Reds bolstering their bullpen is a win

The Cincinnati Reds are trying to get back in the wild card picture, and improved their bullpen depth by acquiring 28-year-old righty Archie Bradley from Arizona for utilityman Josh Van Meter and outfielder Stuart Fairchild.

Bradley had 18 saves and a 3.52 ERA last season with the Diamondbacks. As Arizona has gotten off to a terrible start this season, Bradley has seen his numbers take a hit (4.22 ERA) but still has a pedigree as a successful bridge arm in the bullpen.

Fairchild is a former second round pick who has talent, but the Reds have better outfield prospects. Cincinnati is currently two games out of a wild card spot.

The Reds also landed Brian Goodwin from the Angels. Goodwin is hitting .242/.330/.463/.793 with four homers and 17 RBI and can play all over the outfield. Both Bradley and Goodwin are solid additions.

The Rangers feel like a loser for holding onto Lance Lynn

Veteran righty Lance Lynn was widely speculated to be one of the best available arms on the trade market coming into the deadline. Despite being the third worst team in the American League at 12-21 overall and numerous teams needing pitching help, Texas decided to hold onto Lynn.

The Rangers might feel like they can compete in 2021 with Lynn under contract next year. Perhaps they think he’ll be more valuable during the offseason or next year’s deadline. They should also get a comp draft pick for Lynn when he hits free agency in the winter of 2021, so ultimately it comes down to whether or not Texas thought it could get more later. Texas was reportedly asking for a big package.

Dodgers, Yankees and White Sox were among teams interested in Lance Lynn but all thought the price was too high

— Jon Heyman (@JonHeyman) August 31, 2020

Lynn finished 5th in Cy Young last year, and has quietly been one of the better innings eaters in baseball the last two years. He would have helped a lot of teams.

You’d think they’d have learned their lesson about holding hot starting pitchers too long after what happened with Minor, as he went from being a hot commodity as recently as last winter to a cheap rental this summer.

The Yankees and Rays feel like losers

The Rays and Yankees are two of the best teams in the American League, but each could have done more to bolster their roster the way Oakland did.

The Rays entered the deadline at 24-11 as winners of five straight, so it makes sense that they thought they could compete for a championship as currently constructed. Even still, Tampa Bay has loads of depth in the minors and could have used a starting pitcher, a corner bat, or a catcher to gear up for the postseason. They chose to stay quiet instead.

The Yankees have been hit with an onslaught of injuries lately, and will see a boost when some of their regulars return. But New York was rumored to add pitching depth in the lead up to the deadline, and it’s a bit disappointing they didn’t make an impact move.

[shervonfakhimi]

The Nerdtastic Blog Boy Unscientific 2019 NBA Mock Draft 1.0

Everything was all good just a week ago. Even in the span of one week, Kevin Durant and Klay Thompson both got hurt for an exponential amount of time, the Raptors won the NBA Finals and Anthony Davis got traded to the Los Angeles Lakers. No one could have expected all of that to happen in one damn week. So, with that in mind, it is damn near impossible to predict how these future draft picks will perform in their careers. No one has any damn clue. However, I always love to try to guess. So, here’s my 2019 NBA Mock Draft that I’m sure will look stupid not too far from now. Enjoy!

1. New Orleans Pelicans - Zion Williamson PF/C Duke

Umm, duh. One building block leaves New Orleans, another one walks right in with new pieces to fit around him that New Orleans was never able to surround Anthony Davis with. Zion is built for the modern game with the way he can run the floor, finish around the rim, create off the dribble (though he could afford to add more tools to his bag) and play anywhere defensively. He’s the obvious pick.

2. Memphis Grizzlies - Ja Morant PG Murray State

Not as obvious as Zion, but this one should not be up for much debate either. Ja is the ideal point guard for today’s NBA; a solid enough shooter who can burn dudes and transition and put anybody on a poster to go along with his pristine playmaking and feel. He and Jaren Jackson Jr. are going to be a lethal duo for years to come.

3. New York Knicks - RJ Barrett SF/PG Duke

Turns out New York will get two former Duke stars… just not the one they wanted. RJ Barrett isn’t Zion, but he has the size and scoring ability to become a mismatch nightmare. New York is the place RJ wants to be and I’m thinking they grant his wish.

4. New Orleans Pelicans - De’Andre Hunter SF Virginia

New Orleans gets this pick as part of the monster haul the Pelicans got from the Lakers for Anthony Davis. This pick could go any number of ways and might not even be made by the Pelicans, as reports are circulating that the Pelicans could trade the pick, per Jonathan Givony of ESPN, but if it is, let’s say they add Hunter. Scoring is not as pressing a need for the Pelicans after selecting Zion earlier and adding Brandon Ingram alongside Jrue Holiday. However, neither Lonzo Ball, Ingram or Zion are great shooters at this stage of their careers. That’s where De’Andre Hunter comes in. He can spread the floor and guard bigger forwards that continue to push Ingram around a little bit. Adding him essentially solidifies New Orleans will be hell to score against. Hunter doesn’t need the ball, which makes him a perfect fit in the Big Easy.

5. Cleveland Cavaliers - Jarrett Culver SG/SF Texas Tech

The Cavs need a little bit of everything. Jarrett Culver brings a little bit of… well, everything. While not a great shooter yet with mechanics needed to be fixed, Culver is a very solid playmaker and has potential as a scorer to score from all three levels and wreak havoc across the floor defensively. He’s a home run pick for the Cavs.

6. Phoenix Suns - Darius Garland PG Vanderbilt

The Suns need a point guard. They *finally* get a point guard. Garland and Devin Booker can play off each other beautifully as Booker has enhanced his playmaking skills in the NBA. Garland will need to do the same and learn to make his teammates better, but his backcourt has baby splash brother potential. It’s a perfect pick for the Suns.

7. Chicago Bulls - Coby White PG North Carolina

The Bulls need a point guard. They *finally* get a point guard too. White is a beast in transition and will need to learn to slow down and settle his team in the halfcourt, but is a great shooter and dynamic scorer in the backcourt, something the Bulls desperately need. He’s more of a combo guard than a pure point guard at this stage, but he’ll be able to play through mistakes in Chicago. He’s well worth the pick.

8. Atlanta Hawks - Cam Reddish SG/SF Duke

Cam Reddish is… an enigma. One play he looks like Paul George, the next he looks like Andrew Wiggins. His handle is suspect, he isn’t much of a playmaker yet, there were games where he disappeared, his jump shot was inconsistent, yet you see glimpses of the exact type of dynamic scoring wing everyone craves that was stuck in a situation with zero spacing. Atlanta seems like the best place for him to develop with Trae Young able to create easy looks and John Collins there to take the pressure off as a scorer. Hopefully, it pans out for Reddish.

9. Washington Wizards - Sekou Doumbouya SF/PF France

Ok, I’ll be painfully honest: I don’t know a lot about Doumbouya or much of these international guys. But Pascal Siakam has been a trendy comparison for him. That’s good enough for me!

10. Atlanta Hawks - Jaxson Hayes C Texas

Hayes is the prototypical rim-running, rim-protecting big man. Reddish, Collins and Hayes would make for one of the more modern and athletic frontcourts in the NBA to fit Young’s up-tempo pace. He’s a great fit here with Atlanta’s second top 10 pick.

11. Minnesota Timberwolves - Brandon Clarke PF/C Gonzaga

Clarke is an awesome fit in Minnesota. He helps bring a defensive impact in the frontcourt Minnesota has lacked with Towns, he can play center in small ball lineups next to Dario Saric, is a really active shot blocker, athletic around the rim and is a very solid passer inside the lane. He’d fix many of Minnesota’s problems right away.

12. Charlotte Hornets - Rui Hachimura PF/C Gonzaga

I thought about Charlotte potentially taking the shot on Bol Bol here due to the position they find themselves, thinking the risk is worth taking. But, I sided against it and went with Rui Hachimura instead. Hachimura reminds me a lot of John Collins when he came out of Wake Forest  Frank Kaminsky is not the answer there and Charlotte has to find spacing anywhere they can. Hachimura was comfortable with the three this season and can be another option offensively while still learning how to grow his game. He’ll be a solid player, Kemba or no Kemba in Charlotte.

13. Miami Heat - Nassir Little SF/PF North Carolina

Little was kind of lost in the sauce during his year in North Carolina. There were times it looked like the game was a bit too fast for him, but he at least always played hard. He was a top 5 recruit for a reason. He can be a dynamic scorer and is a freak athlete. Miami can develop him about as well as anybody could. He could thrive and be the steal of the draft if he lands in the right spot like this.

14. Boston Celtics - PJ Washington PF/C Kentucky

Boston could use more punch in the frontcourt, and Washington should be able to provide it. He is tough and really improved both as a shooter and playmaker this season at Kentucky. He’ll be able to soak up all the wisdom Al Horford has accumulated during his career, assuming Horford opts in to come back to Boston. This is a really nice, solid pick for Boston.

15. Detroit Pistons - Tyler Herro SG Kentucky

The Pistons really need shooting. Like, really bad. Incredibly bad. Poor Blake Griffin simultaneously had to do everything and had no room to do anything. Tyler Herro is one of the better shooters in this draft, raising his stock like Kevin Huerter did last year. This makes a lot of sense. That hasn’t stopped teams from doing something not as sensical before though.

16. Orlando Magic - Romeo Langford SG/SF Indiana

A long, athletic wing who isn’t a great shooter yet? He sounds exactly like a Magician (that’s what we call somebody on Orlando, right? Does anyone know the correct answer for this?). Assuming Nikola Vucevic returns, shooting can surround Langford in the form of Vuc, DJ Augustin and Evan Fournier, at the very least. We’ll see if Markelle Fultz’s jump shot is resurrected from the dead. But Orlando can’t count on it and needs shot creation in the half court from the perimeter. Langford excels in this area and has defense all around him. Steve Clifford can coach him out of some of his bad habits and would appreciate the toughness Langford showed playing through a broken thumb all season long. I think this could really work.

17. Atlanta Hawks - Mfiondu Kabengele PF/C Florida State

I doubt Atlanta keeps all three of their picks, but let’s just go with it. Mfiondu Kabengele is one of my favorite players in this entire draft and should fit in perfectly alongside this uber-athletic frontcourt. He can run the floor, protect the rim, plays super hard and has potential as a shooter. He can play alongside either Hayes or Collins. Trae Young should make his life really easy. He can be a major spark plug off the bench and has the potential to be much more.

18. Indiana Pacers - Nickeil Alexander-Walker PG Virginia Tech

Darren Collison and Cory Joseph are free agents and Tyreke Evans got booted from the league (hopefully he’s doing ok) for violating the drug policy. Aaron Holiday will get more looks at point guard but Indiana could use more playmaking alongside Victor Oladipo. Nickeil Alexander-Walker would be great for the Pacers, fills a need and fits their style of play.

19. San Antonio Spurs - Goga Bitadze C Republic of Georgia

Again, I don’t know much about Goga. But I do know San Antonio could use a more dynamic center than Jakob Poeltl next to LaMarcus Aldridge and have made a killing in the international route. It looks like a match made in heaven for Popovich here.

20. Boston Celtics - Bol Bol C Oregon

Danny Ainge can get a little frisky with this pick. Bol Bol has top 5 upside but has concerns with his motor, his frame and his foot injury he suffered this year playing for the Oregon Ducks. If Boston gets the most out of Bol, this is a home run. If not, then they just move on. It’s a risk worth taking here for Boston. Just handcuff Bol with Al Horford and make sure Bol never leaves his sight.

21. Oklahoma City Thunder - Cameron Johnson SF North Carolina

Remember how I said the Pistons needed shooting? Well, Oklahoma City might be the one team that needs it more. Cam Johnson is probably the best shooter in this draft. Oklahoma City needs more wings alongside Paul George and Russell Westbrook. If Johnson is on the board and Presti passes on him, I’d get visibly upset and I’m not a Thunder fan at all. They have to take him if he’s here.

22. Boston Celtics - Kevin Porter Jr. PG/SG USC

With Kyrie likely gone and Terry Rozier possibly bolting out of town, Boston could use more creation out of the backcourt. Had things gone swimmingly this year in Los Angeles, Porter would likely get drafted way higher. He’s a dynamic scorer. I like this pick for the Celtics.

23. Utah Jazz - Ty Jerome PG Virginia

Utah has already told Ricky Rubio they aren’t prioritizing him in free agency. I don’t think Donovan Mitchell is ready to take the reins at point guard quite yet, making Ty Jerome a great fit. He can get Utah solidified offensively and involve the rest of his teammates while Mitchell brings his much-needed scoring punch.

24. Philadelphia 76ers - Grant Williams PF/C Tennessee

Philadelphia desperately is in need of depth anywhere they can find it. With a team trying to win games now, they should be looking for guys who can play now. Grant Williams can do so and still has room to grow. Drafting him could unlock lineups where he or Ben Simmons serve as the ‘center’ on the floor. He’s smart, tough and does all the dirty work. Philly didn’t have anybody for that last season.

25. Portland Trail Blazers - Keldon Johnson SF Kentucky

Portland could use shooting on the wing. They’ve neglected it for years, so hopefully, they come to their senses. He shot well at Kentucky last season and won’t be counted on to create much offense. He can play to his strengths, strengths Portland could very well use.

26. Cleveland Cavaliers - Luguentz Dort PG/SG Arizona State

Collin Sexton did not provide a ton of playmaking or defense. They get that and another scoring punch in Jarrett Culver, but double down with Lu Dort. Basically a Marcus Smart clone, he can bring toughness and versatility in their backcourt.

27. Brooklyn Nets - Eric Paschall PF/C Villanova

Eric Paschall was miscast last season at Villanova. If Brooklyn is going to go star-hunting this summer, which by all reports they are, they need to surround the team with cheap, versatile players who can fit around said stars. Paschall can do exactly that. He’s smart, plays hard and has the chops to guard multiple positions. It’d be another smart pick on the Nets’ part to take him here.

28. Golden State Warriors - Dylan Windler SG/SF Belmont

It didn’t take long for the Warriors to come to the realization that they really need to cash out on this pick after the injuries suffered in the NBA Finals to Kevin Durant and Klay Thompson. They need depth and shooting. Dylan Windler brings both. After playing in a free-flowing, ball-movement offense at Belmont, he should fit into the Kerr-ism system in Golden State.

29. San Antonio Spurs - Talen Horton-Tucker SF/PG Iowa State

I have no idea what the hell Talen Horton-Tucker is. I do think his skill-set is intriguing enough to go in the first round, I just don’t know what he is as a 6’4” 235-240 pound bowling ball who can push it in transition and jet by dudes. If anybody could figure him out, it is San Antonio. Give him a year to develop in the G League then let him loose.

30. Milwaukee Bucks - Jontay Porter PF/C Missouri

I don’t expect Porter to be picked in the first round. The Bucks may even trade this pick to shed some salary, per Marc Stein of the New York Times. But it’ll be difficult for Milwaukee to bring Brook Lopez back, which would mean the gravity he brings at the center spot to allow Giannis to terrorize the rim walks out the door with him. I’m not sure where else Milwaukee will be able to find that. Jontay has torn his ACL twice, but if he’s healthy, he wouldn’t go even this low. The medical has to check out, but if it does, his scoring versatility could fit very nicely with Giannis and the rest of this Bucks squad.