#but just watching the cutscenes its like ohh i see now

[onestepbackwards]

In the self-aware AU what would the characters react to the player having a little sibling.

Hearing the player give a tutorial and run around in their own save file. Letting their sibling be the one to catch their own Pokémon, customize Akari or Rei to their wishes, take photos with Pokémon and speak their opinions about the cast.

This may derail from the other headcannons with the characters becoming self-aware overtime. Unsure if this fits.

What about the sibling liking the game so much they decide to play the game on their own account. However, every character is still just as self-aware having memories of the original players save file, and the new one.

Even possibly having the ability to roam around the game, but they are still forced into a cutscene after a certain threshold is made.

Volo being invested in knowing the “True God’s, and Little God” entire ancestry and lives outside the game, as the player isn’t watching.

Telling the child what he is forced to do to them, begging for forgiveness, and doing his genuine best to both befriend the child despite such strings. Establishing enough trust to ask them about their days at school, and things about their “holy” family.

Now even questioning who’s the one pulling these canon strings? Arceus? It would only make him hate the creature even more.

Questioning the intentions behind their sentience, who had started it and why?

Two stories happening on a screen just which is better staying in script entirely to fulfill their purpose of entertainment, or leap into the unknown with the possibility of never seeing either players again.

Then there’s Ingo who can see the red flags, and would inform the player. At first he would be trying to give the child battle advice, and to trust their instincts if something is wrong.

I wonder whether he’d be in the wants to fulfill purpose of play and look after the child but at an expense of never being played again…. I’d think he would make the sacrifice if it meant the player and their family would be safe in the end.

Ohh, the moment they all realize it’s your sibling, it becomes a trial to make the best impression for them.

Volo, like you said, would no doubt try and get close. He’s be one of the firsts to openly break the code to talk with your sibling, warning them he’s being forced to betray them in game later, and to please forgive him.

If your siblings agrees, then Volo will take it as a blessing, and make his move, trying to figure more about you and your family. He’ll be the best friend your sibling could ask for, even if its just to learn more about you.

Akari and Rei, whoever your sibling didn’t pick for their playthrough, also help out your sibling, wanting to genuinely be friends. Though they don’t appear as often as Volo does. Maybe they’ll have the courage to reveal themselves to you too?

Ingo is the most wary about doing this, unsure how you would react. But he does end up stepping in if Volo or even the others get too close or comfortable. Being the most familiar with the code, if he can’t get then to back off peacefully, he isn’t above teleporting then elsewhere.

Ingo wants to be friends, he genuinely does! And he sees s much potential in your sibling!

But he doesn’t want to risk things too much. If you find out, and get upset, it could mean the literal end of their world. And he recognizes what Volo is doing is especially manipulative. He doesn’t want your sibling getting upset or to be used just to get to you.

It doesn’t deter Volo though.

Meanwhile, you hear a lot about the characters in game. Your sibling happily goes on about his journey so far, and he seems to have an attachment to Volo.

You don’t think much of it, until they mention Volo asked about you.

Its something you shrug off, but it does make you wonder if your sibling may be playing pretend with Volo.

You decide it’s best to keep an eye out. Especially if they haven’t been betrayed yet. If your sibling is this attached, you don’t want them getting too upset later on.

Though the stuff your sibling keeps bringing up is a bit weird. Yes, you will be keeping a close eye on them indeed.

[kahin]

so now that i effectively watched atsv and was left shell shocked. i just thought it was a movie thing like "tbc" ohh its a cutscene haha What the movies actually over. uhmm the plot was maybe lacking a bit but i get that its a two-part so no comment there. i should say i yelled when i saw jess drew because what do you mean there is a pregnant spider-woman on a MOTORBIKE doing cool tricks. i had to stop myself from going "oh yeah jess drew is so cool and awesome haha" like every two seconds. i hope i get to see more of malala windsor too tbh... {hijabi spiderman}. the spot was such a silly guy and i kind of understand that IS how you're meant to view him n it also sorta reminds me how in itsv no one took miles seriously as spiderman they all insisted that THEY were the ones who'd do the job and stay behind. n it sorta loops back a bit as well cz in itsv they kept goin "hes just a kid" and in atsv when peter keeps going "kid" he goes "stop calling me that" before escaping.

miguel. ohohohho what is up with him. i cant even get into this guys head i cant even say anything. hes chasing down a 15 year old and was abt to kill him in that fucking go home machine Bless margo 4 not doing anything wi that system reboot because. uhm. 💀

prowler aaron-42 had me sort of shaking because he was about ot kill miles-1610 like 3an jad "like no i dont want to be a good person" tekram 3aynak sidi o7 any other orders. 42-miles and 1610-miles switching circumstances is a cool little thing to note too. the spider that bit miles-1610 was from d-42 meaning that prowler miles in 42 was supposed to be spiderman. which kind of explains too why jeff is dead in 42 as opposed to . well. aaron. also rio in 42 has lighter eyes than 1610. the scene where our miles was like pouring his heart out to her and she doesnt even believe him left me like

[ID: a 3D emoji turning to look at the viewer with a haunted expression. It is in complete darkness and light illuminates part of the expression and the right hand. end ID.]

hobie was so real also the entire movie cz during the "kid listen" scene i talked abt earlier he started motioning with his palms. i also had to stop myself from going "YOOO ITS HOBIE HEY GUYS LOOK HAVE OYU SEEN THIS"

anyway i dont get why you guys hated jess drew or margo kess. jess did barely anything except maybe be a TAD BIT harsh on gwen but she didnt. even lay a hand on miles meanwhile miguel was about to kill him like genuinely kill him probably at multiple times. margo i dont get the hate against her too i think it . listen im going to come up with a theory.... it might be antiblack racism.

i also rlly liked pavitr but the chai tea thing sends shivers up my spine because i know if i check his tag that'll be all i see. the moment he went "chai TEA?" i just went "yeah he sealed his fate forever. im so sorry pavitr this movie's first indian spider-man and they're gonna treat you badly. the fact they gave him like 100 or so unique signatures makes so much sense his moveset is so rad bro

In conclusion. uhm. MISSION STATUS: SICKK

[yandere-romanticaa]

Ohh do you have any tips for new Genshin fans who want to watch cutscenes and view other content without playing the game??

Aside from watching Archon Quests and event stories in chronological order, I plan to read some character stories(??) and the wiki pages for Artifact Sets, etc. Is there anything else or helpful advice I need to take note of?? :’0

All these months spent telling myself that I wouldn’t get into Genshin due to lack of time and interest, and now look at me figuring out how to binge the content T0T

I honestly feel like Genshin is just one of those things you really need to experience for yourself because literally everything has lore, even the god damn FLOWERS have lore, it's insane. Simply walking in the wild or in the city is fun all on its own because Genshin is really good at world building and it's very fun and easy to imagine living in those areas. Are you an adventurer in Mondstatd, living from paycheck to paycheck? Are you a Knight who swears to protect the city with you life? Are you a humble adventurer that goes to wherever you want, but the beauty of Liyue harbor charms you do you make the decision to stay? I could go on and on, but that's not really the answer to the question you asked me lmao.

This might disappoint you but I think it's really difficult to get a true, full grasp of the characters without seeing everything happen yourself. For starters not everything is revealed in their character stories and Genshin has a looooot of events where they develop and flesh out their characters beautifully but again, do you really have the time and patience to actually go through all of that manually? If you have the time, energy and device play the game, it's really worth it. For the time being I think it's fine that you want to watch the cut scenes and read the lore but it'll be a lot easier if you just play the game. I wasn't very helpful I'm aware but that really is what I think.

[bane-amesta]

Free will may not be an illusion Note: I have never posted a fanfic here so apologies if the format is messy, I'm more used to AO3

Before anything, I must clarify: English is not my first language, and here I am, trying to write for a videogame series highly regarded for its incredible and beautiful writing. Lastly, I think it was like 2 AM when I wrote this. So yeah, I did watched some cutscenes to be sure, but I'm sure it'll be plenty of mistakes for you to "enjoy" lol.

My apologies in advance, please let me know of anything that needs to be fixed.

I just had to give it a try, I think. How else can I get better at the language without a good challenge right? So a little excercise like this seemed good enough for a start. I hope you enjoy :)

Here I am again, trapped in the spectral realm, with the voice of my old "friend" for sole company. And I was already dreading the possibility of falling into madness after a new eternity of that torture. Between this, and my predetermined destiny of the Soul Reaver becoming my jail, I cannot decide which path is the worst.

The feeling of uselessness is overwhelming. It seems that the other side of my coin is to fail everything I try. Even when I successfully purified the Reaver, its purpose now fades, with no way to use it, nor a chance for me to escape. My supposed 'free will' is worthless when I can't even save one life, or kill another when is needed.

But... I could not bear to kill Janos again, even when he begged me to do it. The horrible scene of my past self, mercilessly ripping his heart out of his body, was too much, and Janos didn't deserve such cruelty. Now his body is being manipulated for forces I can't fully understand, and it is, once again, my fault.

Even worse, the only task I was asked to do so many times, the one that made me sick to just hear about it, to the extent to actively try to avoid, it was done at last. Kain is dead, to the joy of Moebius and the 'Elder God'. And it doesn't bring me anything even close to that. My revenge path ended in a bitter note.

Now that I am certain it was part of their plan all along, I feel like a puppet, and is infuriating. Maybe I was manipulated in that moment like Janos? Does that even matter anyways? ... But that is a question for which I'll never get the answer.

At least, the old vision of me slaying poor Ariel's soul did not come true. After so many eons of haunting the Pillars, she deserved a peaceful end. It is a small consolation, indeed. But her words are still sounding in the void, and I can't comprehend them.

The Scion of Balance. I could vaguely try to give it a meaning, but I did not have the means to do so.

Meanwhile, the parasite in front of me is rejoicing in his victory against our meager attempts to change our destinies, and my attention was fading, trying my best to escape his voice. But then, I heard something falling on the ground behind me. Oh surprise, if is not the body of Moebius. The fact that I can see it on this dimension has only one meaning: he's dead. I was starting to feel angry about losing my chance to kill him first, when his soul left his body and he scanned his surroundings. With nothing on his sight as I moved directly behind him, he joined his hands in prayer. I carefully observed.

-Master, my apologies, a momentary oversight. Somehow Kain still lives, and has unexpectedly dispatched me. Make use of your good servant, and-

The news shocked me. My hand moved by itself, not just to finally slay him as I should have done from the start, but also to prevent Moebius from resurrecting again. This is probably the only good thing I can do on my current situation.

-Go to your master then. I release you to the Wheel.

But then something unexpected happened. Moebius's expression turned into horror, which made me realize. The Reaver purified him, which means that now he can see the true form of his "God". And the irony is sweeter than blood.

-Ohh… god, no…

-Do you see it now? The monster that you served? Is this what you imagined when you worshipped it?

-Noooo!

-And in that knowledge, go, and feed it. I release you.

Oh, such a small triumph never tasted so good. I knew his faith would falter. Of course, the Elder is still saying that it means nothing, trying to undermine my determination. But he's not omniscient, as I discovered, not only by his lack of knowledge about Kain’s return.

He doesn’t have the power to kill us. Only to trap us and hoping the endless passage of time will make us go deranged. And he acknowledged it.

Lastly, the Elder also forgot a crucial detail, right in front of him. A way to go back to the material realm, and Kain, alive, waiting at the other side.

Ariel’s words came back to me, like asking me to reconsider their meaning.

You must unite that which has been set asunder…

The Wheel will keep spinning for all eternity, dragging all of us in a circle of meaningless suffering, to feed a parasite masquerading as a god, if I don’t make a choice. But what exactly can I do?

Moebius never saw the true form of his master until the Reaver purified his soul. The ancient vampires never knew what they were worshipping.

The coin is still turning…

When I heard those words the first time, I was convinced that Kain’s coin was already in the ground, and the result seemed obvious. But I could not understand the real message hidden behind them.

…Only then will the Scion of Balance be armed for his true endeavor…

Then, I knew exactly what it was needed to do. Saying I was not scared of the result would be a lie, but maybe I could finally change the ending of this story. And for that, I need Kain.

As I suspected, he impaled Moebius' body as soon as it rises from the ground. My time now is limited and every second counts. He needs to know what he's about to face.

-No, this can't be the way!

He seems painfully worried and regretful. This has to be the first time I've seen such a genuine expression on his face. Concern, mixed with regret, refusing to believe what's happening; trying desperately to take the sword away from me. I have known and served him for so long, but never seen him like this. Like a loving father, broken seeing his son mortally wounded. I would chuckle if I had my lower jaw, and the strength to do so. How curious to see Kain acting like this, and how sad that only in my last moments I can witness such a scene.

Was this always part of his personality? Or is maybe that my sight was contaminated as well, blind on my quest for revenge? Maybe the corruption of the Pillars changed him, and now that he's purified, he can finally show some emotions.

Whatever the case, the result is the same. Kain is worried for me. And that thought is oddly comforting. It seems that my long years of service and loyalty were not in vain, and I did not choose the wrong lord. He doesn't say it, but I can see the determination on his eyes. He will go out of his way to try to free me from my prison.

But I feel myself weakening again, and I have to focus. Is crucial to warn him about the real enemy, hidden in plain sight, before he can even attempt to manipulate Kain like he did with me.

Finally, I ended up fulfilling my destiny, the one that I feared so much. By my own free will. And there's no words to describe it... I can't even imagine what the future awaits me, but for now, the only objective is to settle the matter at hand.

Kain is naturally shocked to see the Elder in all its parasitic glory. But as I expected, he understood immediately the situation.

When Kain attacks and harms the body of the parasite, he doesn't take the credit all to himself.

-Your words are heartening. For you would not fear us unless we could truly do you harm.

We, he says. A small detail maybe, but he doesn't know how much I appreciate it.

I thought it was a jest, but I can barely believe what I’m hearing now. The Elder is once again threatening with the same words used with me. Is that truly the Elder's plan to stop Kain? Merely burying him alive for all eternity? Doesn't he know all the means Kain has to overcome the obstacles on his way? Turning into bats to fly, into mist to pass iron bars... Oh well, I suppose I should have seen this coming. And the ancient creature looks almost pathetic now, seeing that he barely defend himself against us.

But then the battle ends, the parasite suffered the fate he wanted for me and Kain, and now, the rest of Nosgoth is in front of us. This is the moment that marks the birth of Kain's vampiric empire, the Pillars falling on the distance. Kain looks at the sword on his hands with a sad expression, one I'm sure I'll see many times from now. Still, there's a glint of hope on his eyes, and for the moment being, that's enough for me. I can't see the future, no, but my heart says that this time, I made the right decision.

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright. part two, here we go

-

“she’s safe”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost me”

the words ‘maya’ and ‘safe’ do not go together in phoenix’s dictionary 

-

...Phoenix’s phone has caller ID??

-

ooh a phone vocal-blip. cute

-

ok fuck you how is the Benefactor keeping tabs on them?? Did Atishon use his One Phone Call to report to headquarters or something???

-

“I admit, I didn’t see that coming”

well spoilers guys I know who the benefactor is, and they have to be pretty fucking stupid not to know that a spirit medium is needed for this.

-

“its your friendly neighbourhood dragon”

no dhurke, youre not cool enough to be spiderman.

-

“you cant lay a hand on maya fey, and i mean literally”

>foreboding 

-

[sighs deeply]

guys. just. fucking call edgeworth. he’s chief prosecutor of america and his sister is part of INTERPOL. call edgeworth and just. fix the fucking problem. right now.

-

“No time to explain”

ggghhghghhghghgh

-

...oh. there’s edgeworth

...............now watch him be completely fucking useless

-

.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME

PHOENIX /DID/ CALL EDGEWORTH THE MOMENT MAYA WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE STILL WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING “DUHHH BETTER DEFEND THIS OBVIOUS CRIMINAL” SHIT??

-

oh edgeworth. you and your chartered planes.

whenever he does that i like to imagine he hired MJN air.

-

Edgeworth...

A) Why are you letting Dhurke be involved? Just cut him out, send Franziska and Lang in with a team of guys and kick the shit out of the enemy

B) You don’t need to conceal someone on a charter jet. You chartered it. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Besides, Dhurke got into the country p easily, he can get out the same way.

C) Dhurke is a criminal. Depending on what he’s done as a rebel, he could be as guilty in your country as his home country. Why are you acting like he’s innocent? Aren't you kind of by-the-book?

-

oh yeah and despite the fact that they’ve updated Phoenix’s sprite, Miles still looks like a frozen plank of wood. Thanks :\

-

Apollo: Sorry Trucy, guess you have to hold all the unnecessary evidence and hold down the fort and be LEFT BEHIND FOR A CHANGE AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

-

oh. this is a really nice garden.

the drama theme is kinda harshing the mellow tho

-

o hai rayfa

-

um. what the fuck. that mask must make it pretty difficult to do shit pal

-

Garan, whilst ordering her henchmen online: drama queen or king preferred 

-

UR DIARRHOEA, GAH-RAHN

cool theme, love the use of the royal “we”. 

-

“what about those guards over there”

“ohh, just prepared to fuck shit u–– iii mean help you haha.”

-

yeahhh... I'm not buying her super calm “my husband is a kidnapper” attitude. 

-

UIGSFILGFLIS DHURKE YOU FUCKING MORON

god he’s such a useless piece of shit. unless he’s trying to get taken so that he can be taken to... idk, wherever Maya is held in some sort of Gambit, he’s a real moron for just up and outing himself like that.

-

BAAAAARBED HEAD. YOU HAVE SOME SPLAAAAAAAAININ TO DOOOO

-

man why do they even give us other options if we can’t use them???

-

“Dhurke... I sure hope he’s alright”

hey apollo wanna hear a secret

i dont 

-

Phoenix externally: Patience, Apollo, patience.

Phoenix internally: we are so screwed at any moment the queen could be all “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD” and i’ll never see trucy or maya again jesus holy mother buddha help me

-

i love that Garananana is kinda just chilling with them. You got more important shit to do, queenie. like being evil 

also open your goddamn mouth once in a while, sheesh

-

Apollo: I hope no one gets hurt

The entire series of ace attorney as a whole: oh honey

-

wait ... INGA HAD A RATTAIL?!

-

ohhh yesss listen to those punches

why couldn’t they have animated it too ;w;

-

phew. im glad Maya’s ok. 

-

yeesh... poor Rayfa.

-

i love that even apollo’s like “fuck dad, you didn't kill him, did you?????”

its a beautiful contrast to how adamant he was about Trucy not killing Manov. 

-

um, soundtrack, now is not the time for Grand Revival. I know Edgeworth is on screen but the shit he’s saying is far, far from uplifting.

-

“it seems prosecutor sahdmadhi has grown quite fond of her”

nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

-

“they’ve almost become a team of sorts”

ok so mark Ema down on the list of AJ characters who will never be seen again after this game.

fuck man i’d even take Klema over this 

-

can you imagine if they'd split up Apollo/Phoenix  Edgeworth/Athena instead

i really wonder how Athena and Edgeworth would interact. Athena’s spunky enough to be a bit like Kay I suppose, so maybe similar to that.

-

again, Kooraheen’s detention centre theme is really quite pretty

too bad i have to look at Dhurke’s face while listening to it

-

...a tasty... hash house

i

oh apollo’s up for that

well tbh if i was him i could use some hash after all this shit

-

yEAH YOU TELL’IM APOLLO

SMARTEN THAT BASTARD UP

-

god apollo he’s not worth it. i’d say leave the fucker to his fate but i guess it is important to find the real killer... sigh

-

apparently queen Amara liked insensitive fuckbags with masculinity issues

oh well. to each their own.

-

>:( don’t compare Dhurke’s story to Phoenix’s, Apollo 

-

“you ran?! but why?!!”

oh i dunno, athena, maybe the fucking death penalty?????

-

hang the fuck on

are you telling me that Dhurke started making trips to his shitty abandoned law office via sewer... while Apollo was still with him?!

Like what fucking reason would he have to drag him down there?! The place is an archive/resistance base, but Apollo and Sadmad lived in the mountains as children; why the fuck would he take his /kids/ into town at the risk of having them all arrested at once?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, DHURKE

-

that orb better be a fucking laser or some shit cause I'm really tired of hearing about it 

-

oh......... hi sadmad..................... what a pleasure to see you........... again................

just as fucking pleasant as ever

-

i love that Dhurke is like “what happened to fighting the man, son??”

like even if he is a double agent he can’t very well just be like “psst I'm still on your side!!!!” in front of the fucking guard 

i hate that dhurke’s face is so placid during this too.

“Son, why did you betray me? Also how was the sports game?”

-

“The Nahyuta you knew exists no more”

yeah sure sadblackworth, whatever you say

-

oh well that was abrupt 

meh, onwards to the tomb

-

“No, that’s the holy mother. She’s the one who brought spirit channeling to Khura’in”

oh so you mean Ami Fey.

-

oh ema... i’ll miss you while youre off being Sadmad’s lapdog 

-

“You mean His Ephemeral Holiness?”

Yes, Ema, fight it!!! Fight it!!!!!!

“But when he manages a smile and compliments my work, it’s hard to say no.”

...nuts. 

-

wait what do you mean the defendant is someone you know

you met Dhurke like once a day ago 

-

aw apollo took the locked-room-mystery words right out of my mouth. i love him so. why are they going to take him away?

-

 alrihgt back to this shit after like a 3 month hiatus or something 

-

i love how chill everyone is talking about Maya’s kidnapping 

“oh yeah he brought her here to the tomb so nobody would see. sensible thing to do. oh also maya almost died but i guess that’s nbd”

-

casually opens a tomb

casually opens the sarcophagus hangings  

casually tries to open the sarcophagus when told there’s a mummy inside

apollo, you're contracting douche-itis from everyone else. this old family of yours is a bad influence.

-

...we’re gonna yeet this sarcophagus arent we 

-

i love that Amara’s just kinda. depicted standing there as she’s burned to death. i mean i guess theyre trying to preserve her beauty and dignity in death but it also makes her look like an idiot who didnt try to escape the flames. 

ooh i like that last one though

-

pff thats a pretty well-equipped corpse line

-

“Where’d the other three bullets go?”

“Maybe Dhurke ate them?”

if he did they'd better have a VERY good explanation 

-

“the poor guy”

EMA

HE WAS HOLDING MAYA HOSTAGE

-

“the cuffs of justice”

love it

-

“just one of those traditions people do and they dont know the reason why”

“like rolling up your sleeves?”

“or your psychology, if we’re going there” HE FUCKING WENT THERE

OOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU APOLLO

-

“he said grape juice has something in it that helps you relax”

are we going into grape juice lore here

"Really? ...Um, are you sure he was talking about regular, plain old grape juice?”

Yes, actually, Athena. It’s canonical that it is /actual off-the-vine welsh’s good ol’ sippy cup grape juice/. It’s not a metaphor or a censoring for kids, it’s just juice.

Of course, this is written by the DDSOJ staff. And considering the intense, dark n’ gritty action makeover the series got, I wouldn’t put it past them to retcon the juice into the... “fermented variety”. thanks Athena.

Yayyy not only do they write shitty dads, but they have to retroactively en-shitten Phoenix as an alcoholic father. Gosh, I sure do love these guys.

(obviously this isn’t a dig at anyone who head canons gj as wine, there’s a difference between head canons and malicious retconning.)

-

hmm interesting mechanic for this chair. i guess since you can’t stuff it in your inventory you cant do the ‘look all over’ thing. but on the other hand, they REALLY wanted to impress you with that hidden blood.

-

Ema: [performs a blood test in 2 seconds] I didn’t get a match!

Well probably not in that time, babe

i have to commend them on the little cutscene though that was nice. 

-

again, i guess Amara really liked emotionally stunted fuckwads

the devil horns are a bit much, though.

-

oh damn.

thats a nice ass pendant 

...oh thats blood

well, it sets off the pink and gold quite nicely. and its a butterfly... seems like something Dahlia would wear

-

“speak of the devil...”

speak of the devil indeed. hiiiiiii sadmad... its been a while.

-

oh ok he didnt say anything 

also i find it funny that apollos like “Wait!! wait!! damnit, after him!”

and then you just. go back into the talk menu with Ema. bit of a moment killer, there.

-

“why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”

cause hes a prosecutor, apollo. thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth 

-

“the law is the law. placing personal feelings above it is beyond reprieve”

ah but placing religion above it is totally fine. gotcha yuts

-

“And the winner is... prosecutor Sahdmadi!”

helpful, athena

-

“it’s like he’s trying to cover something up with his pretty words!”

oh did you mean the inevitable reveal that he's actually a good guy and we have to forgive him for being a shitwad? 

-

oh wow. that joke post about sadmad developing generalized anxiety was actually based on a legit thing that happened 

is it ok if i hate him even more for it? i mean how did he figure it out? he didn’t let apollo use it in court so where would he have gained the knowledge? unless he knows about Thalassa’s abilities...

...also, how /is/ he doing this? the way Perceive works isn’t just “i can sense that you’re uncomfortable”, it’s that people who can use it have extremely good eye-sight and see tiny little movements in other people. If they’re smart about it, they can tell that the movements mean the enemy is lying. Apollo just happens to get tense when he notices this, most likely because he’s kind of straining his eyes.

But then again that brings up the fact that his power would act up CONSTANTLY, either because EVERYBODY FIDGETS, or Apollo himself could just be stressed and making the bracelet squeeze on its own.

So thanks, SOJ. Not content with ruining Apollo’s canon, you’ve also got to ruin his cool lawyer power. Gosh, you’re just the gift that keeps on giving, aren’t you? 

-

“Powerless in the face of the Holy Mother’s blessings”

SOJ team is now nicknamed the Holy Mother. Or possibly the Unholy Mother.

-

“Looks like your power won’t work against Sadmadhi. Guess we’ll have to try something else.”

“Yeah, let’s ask Dhurke...”

Yeah. Because you obviously don’t have someone with you RIGHT NOW who ALSo has a special power. You dont even have TWO POEPLE with you with a special power. Guess we’d better talk to the man who birthed this shiteater.

-

“I won against Mr. Wright”

yeah in a completely rigged trial where losing would be the worst option. thats not really something to brag about, you know.

-

“...doomed to be reborn as something lower than a bug or a vegetable”

you heard it here first folks Sadmad hates sustaining agriculture and the bees.

-

>Lang’s scrolls and dickfuckery

>Edgeworth’s by-the-bookishness

>Franziska’s catchphrase

>Blackquill’s backstory twist

These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect prosecutor. But the SOJ writers accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: BAD WRITING 

THUS UNINSPIRED ASSHOLE WAS BORN!

-

apollo you don’t matter to anyone anymore youre getting the boot. do as your foster pop said when you were a drowning 5 y/o and suck those pussy baby tears back into your skull.

-

welp thats it for part one of investigation day 2. now (i think) we’re headed over to the delicious pandering of Phoenix and Edgeworth, back together. Will it bring me solace despite being an obvious ratings grab?

good god, i hope so.

till next time.

[thegeminisage]

TODAY’S ZELDABLOGGING, which has ENDGAME SPOILERS (yes i beat it):

all right i got about ~3 hours to get my shield and beat zelda lets fucking do this

the temple of time music is breaking my heart

this is one place where i'm mostly ok with them not using a classic tune for it tbh

like this music has so much grief and tranquility

i used to think the plateau was SO huge and really it's almost miniscule

i know it's a bit of a waste of time but i'm making the final trek on foot, no fast travel, temple of time to the castle

So Many Guardians

i can fight them now but only if theyre in the right place too close or far away and i cant do it

on a side note: yesterday (?) i found a beautiful pink spring i took many pictures of

today i saw that glowing spot on the map and realized i'd never figured out what it was!

dropped a pin bc i was curious, and it's the pink spring

temptation to warp over, check it out, and warp back: astronomical

but i'm on both a mission and a time limit, so it'll have to wait

ok. ok. im Here. its Time. lets go. shield first. that is My Shield, and the stalnox Cannot have it

there's a door i can't figure out how to open :/

ah, i see the stalnox

but i want that door!

google isn't helping me so i guess i have to leave it??

ok, all abilities fully charged, 3 fairies, plenty of food. i can do this. i almost killed one by accident once. that is MY SHIELD.

oh my god its got SWORDS stuck all in it jesus FUCK

my first shot did a lot of damage! but im wearing the atk+ armor which i can't keep on, it's a glass cannon

oh my god that was so EASY?

i kicked its ASS LMAO

YESSSS THERES MY SHIELD OH YES

holy shit when my swoprd strikes something in here it sounds like cannon fire! steady glowing too

i don't think there's one right way to go here so i'm gonna try to explore as much as i can

i've been spoiled by the fact that zelda has a diary laying out somehwere so i wanna find it for myself

ohhh the remains of the red carpet in here

i'm actually next to the tower i climed before, apparently i was just shy of exploring all there was to see up there...i'll see if i can have another look

lol i decide that and it IMMEDIATELY begins with the lightning storm

i found it!!! oh god was this her bedroom ;_;

AAAH SHE TALKS ABOUT LINK

he's quiet and persostent and can't resist a good meal

and it talks about why he never speaks ;_;

I LOVE THIS HE HAS A PERSONALITY!!!!

omg she even talks about her mother ;_;

A WOMAN NOT OF THIS EARTH

the goddess hylia or was it fi?? oh my god.......

WORTH IT!!!

found the guard chambers ;_; this all hurts my heart, so much was just Lost

oh my god no THE BLOOD MOON...

huh. no cutscene here

honestly fighting my way thru moblins in hyrule castle...haha man

ohhhh the library ): i bet zelda loved it here

oh my god they even had docks under the castle!!!

oh NO i found the king's journal

he hated being cruel to her and was gonna be kind when she got back but instead the last time they really saw each other they were fighting!!!

still doesn't give him an excuse tbh but i can find a SLIVER of sympathy now

okay so........now i've explored all the insides. i go out?? i.......fight ?????

oooohh god im scared again ))):

oh shit oh Shit i found it oh god

im looking up a walkthru to read after the fight starts i dont need any more surprises

ZELDA?

OH MY GOD HE'S DISGUSTING HE'S SPIDER LIKE I AM SHRIEKING WHY IS IT ALWAYS SPIDERS

YEAAHH BOY HALF HEALTH FUCK YOU GANON

I HAVE COURAGE!!!!

ooh he has guardian weapons

ok yes walkthru

GOD LMAO if you dont free the divine beasts you have to fight the minibosses here

oh god this is gonna be tough

haha "guardian weapons will break your shield" NOT MY SHIELD

i mean yes it can break but its Highly durable and replacements can be made if it does

OH GOD HE'S GROSS HE'S BUGLIKE WHY WHY

GANON THE MAN WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER

i mean i know. they had us fight a manlike thing in ss AND tp but. i miss him

oooh down to 25%

YES FUCK THERE HE GOES

eeeew

im ready for phase 2 baby

there's gotta be one right there ALWAYS is

YES here we go

AAAH I GOT THE BOW OF LIGHT

oh no i dont have epona though just a different horse im sad i should have left her out

BUT HE LOOKS JUST LIKE GANON THAT I KNOW

OH MY GOD THE FINAL BOSS MUSIC IS THE TRAILER MUSIC

THE MAIN THEME AT LEAST

WE'RE ON HYRULE FIELD NEVER DID I SUSPECT THIS WOULD BE OUR BATTLEGROUND

I DID IT!!!!

ZELDA

BEAUTIFUL SWEET YOUNG BRAVE ZELDA WITH HER MUDSTAINED DRESS

oh my g o d

"may i ask, do you really remember me"

oh my god...oh my god

ANSWER HER?

AND NOW CREDITS? IM DYING

ohhh the credits showed a bit of everybody and despite myself when they played the trailer song and showed the old man/the plateau i welled up we've come so far

HEY THERE'S SHIGERU MIYAMOTO'S NAME HEYYYYYYYY

awww that was the last song of the trailer

A STINGER

THANK GOD

ohh my god 

IF THE SPIRITS OF THE CHAMPIONS AND THE OLD MAN WATCHING LINK AND ZELDA WEREN'T AN OOT NOD....

OH MY GOD ONE MORE SECOND AND ZELDA COULD HAVE MET EYES WITH HER FATHER

jesus christ, old man disappeared last too, my HEART

theyre gonna restore hyrule!! they're gonna travel together again!!

okay i GOTTA load my file and see what's what

awww it's the one i saved right before the battle i thought there was post-game content...?

it does have a little star next to it tho

ah well

that was.......incredible

and i cried

so there's that

man!!!!! im so, so glad

what a good game

honest crit: no, it wasn't PERFECT

i could have stood more classic tunes to punch me in the feels more often and give us more of that old #aesthetic since they changed SO much about everything else - at times it didn't even quite feel like a zelda game, though the reminders that it WAS were always heartbreaking and wonderful

also maybe this was just my playstyle but i feel like there could have been more than just the four dungeons since they were so short...i know the dungeon-y puzzle stuff was spread all around with koroks and shrines, but is One big dungeon too much to ask? even hyrule castle had 1000 ways you could have gotten through

could have stood a little more acknowledgement of who you were and what you were doing as the divine beasts started waking up? like from npcs and shit, not even for Glory or whatever but just because the story felt reeeeeeally spread out, even with the memories scattered everywhere

and again a little bias here but some of the battles once you began getting Up There were a little TOO fake-difficult...i saw white bokoblins in old old places so i know it has to do with You, not your location, and i could have lived w/o it tbh

would have loved some form of new game + or postgame content, but maybe i'm just sad bc i misunderstood a spoiler or w/e it was that happened

things i loved:

the music

the cinematics, holy shit

the voice acting

when they DID use classic tunes it was to INCREDIBLE effect, same with the castle style, the ruins, even the nostalgic armor

obviously the open world gameplay was delightful and addicting, i literally couldn't get enough

the final boss battle wasn't too hard but VERY climactic and wonderful, just difficult Enough - could have maybe been a BIT harder but then i did start with him at half health!!

the dungeons, while there weren't enough of them, were EXTREMELY cool, i felt DWARFED by those beasts, after i saw the first one i never called them jaegers again

actually kind of liked the weapon durability thing bc then i could just pick them up during combat when i was running low and steal them or fight with them, throw them, etc

did not like the BOW durability, all my bows broke VERY quickly, that and running out of arrows always was totally urgh...even with my weapons inventory upgraded i STILL couldn't hold all the cool ones the game threw at me, it needed to be like that for players that favored the bow - more of them that were OP, more arrows, etc

anyway i could go on and on but

i gotta sleep, and

i'm so happy zelda is free

it would have been so cool to have her as a companion in post-game, Somehow

or at least see her reunion with all those who missed her

or see link get his memories back

it ended a bit too soon but it was beautiful and i loved it

goodnight

[thegeminisage]

hella spoilery zeldablogging from earlier tonight

feel kind of bad cause i had to look up the gerudo maze desert thing but i was SOOO close on my own

oh my god there's a lady over here by this shrine failing at cooking and all the recipes she teaches me give me dubious food

there are PILES of rotting garbage that have flies around them and the thing in the pot is sending up this black cloud of smoke lmao

wow the blood moon came in the middle of me clearing out an enemy camp :/

good god there's a stable out here in all this deep snow? how?? would the horses not, like, die?

aww beedle's here but he's cold ):

WOW you can upgrade the boy gerudo clothes but not the GIRL ones? that is SEXIST

oh noooo shield surfing DOES damage your shield i hate this i love my current shield what if i can't find another!!!!!

lol the ridge tower si surrounded by water and electric enemies. Great

omg i found the royal lab ruins ):

ok, i gotta begin prioritizing here

while i'd LIKE to complete all 120 shrines before i beat the game just for the armor, i don't think that's going to be possible - i haven't even unlocked some of them yet bc i don't have the snowballs or the quest takes so long

but the most important thing to me is memories

so after i check out all the ridge shrines on this map i'm gonna get the hyrule field map as well and get those memories

and i'll just save a lot and if i fuck something up and trigger endgame stuff i'll reload

god idk how to do this trial on the thunderplanes so like...im gonna let it be

see? i could never do all 120 before tmrw night

PLEASE this memory i just got was so cute zelda was being a nerd over plants and caught a frog she wanted link to eat :')

i love this zelda like i'm super not crazy about her voice actress sounding much older than i think of her as, and the fantasy british accent, but she has so much more personality than many of the others

ah, and i see now why she loved the silent proncess so...can't be grown domestically, only thrives in the wild

much like herself if you watch some of the other memories haha she feels trapped by her own destiny that's easy to see

i think it's super clever how even with a map you still have to look around for shrines bc they are hidden semi-underground

and i wish i had more time to stop and enjoy the little things like that, but i CAN come back and explore later, i can't unlearn a plot point

this spoiler fear might be a little baseless...tbh i also want to finish the main story tho bc like

i want it to be something i play in my free time, not something i obsess over 24/7 and HAVE to play and think about all the time

it's been a beautiful fun and absolutely life-changing experience but also it's been two weeks and i gotta get back to my actual life, i can't be Like This indefinitely

i'm kinda stunned that it took me this ling tbh? like, even skyyward sword was like a week and a half the first time iirc and i did that at like, a pace where i could stop and explore, i remember thinking how huge skyward sword was

omg im so glad i decided to ride epona down to where i need to go next rather than fast travel + walk bc 1. faster maybe? and 2. THE MAIN THEME PLAYS WHEN YOU'RE ON EPONA OVER THE NORMAL HORSE THEME i could weep

KASS IS BY THIS BRIDGE HI BUDDY I LOVE YOU

i solved the puzzle! this time im talking to him BEFORE i go in

he told me it was stupendous ;_; thanks pal

aw dude another memeory and it played the trailer music but

is zelda really only SIXTEEN about to turn seventeen? how old is link?? i guess under 21/18 if they wouldn't let him drink...

jesus, they're just babies ;_;

also, she quoted link's horse advice so like

this + the dialogue options gives the feeling that he does actually speak, you know? so as much as i love mute link i also like these glimpses into his personality as well, bc he's always been such a blank slate

he's empathetic, playful, sometimes downright goofy, and very tenacious - confident, but not in a cocky way, and obviously always a bit shaken when he gets a memory back

it's nice getting to know him a bit, even if you have to patch most of it together - kinda like narrachara lol

;w; it's so nice to have epona gallop over when i call her again

omg i think i found kass's house! i see his journal :3

haha i got this song "when the blood moon rises stand naked on that platform" ok nintendo

i wonder if you get all the puzzles do you get to tell him who you are ):

im tempted to unlock this one now lol

like, it takes a long time to get here and it's almost the blood moon

SIGH this is gonna take awhile but it'll save me time later

oh lmao it was JUST the blood moon so i'd actually have to wait a SUPER long time nvm tbh

well. welp. welly well well

i guess.......its time for hyrule field tower

Im Scared

wow. holy shit. i can see the great plateau from here...and it looks so small. i can see the temple of time, i can see the tower from which i first saw hyrule castle. i can even see the little path i nearly followed, when catching sight of my first moblin and becoming curious, before i got myself back on track. damn. Damn. i have come FULL CIRCLE, holy shit

and like, it's just the way i played it. hyrule castle for last. but you know? i love that shit. journeys ending the way they began. gets me in the feels every time

i'll be honest, THIS i could really stop and explore. forget those awful snowy mountains. this is where the #history is

oh god. i see a guardian down near that tower. please god don't let it be a mobile one

FUCK

i saw two still ones and relaxed and a mobile one snuck up RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND ME

[wheezing]

i don't wanna stop and grind but i worry i might HAVE to get some guardian armor before i can do this, even just one piece...!

i have a diamond circlet so all i'd need from the prof is the chest and/or legs........oh god. jesus fuck

motherFUCKER the range on those still ones, i wish i had been able to take them out...!

oh jesus i made it

this is it. final tower. thank fuck

there'll be more guardians, way more. i gotta at least check and see if i can afford some arrows without setting myself back further for the armor

i think i had all the mats i needed actually i just needed cash...maybe i can cook to earn some since i sold my monster parts

k, i only have enough gears for the chest OR legs, and i don't have enough rupees for either... :/

i COULD buy some arrows and still have enough mats for the armor but then i'd be setting myself back HUGELY re: rupees

ok, i FINALLY got the chest, jesus, now i can go back to hyrule field

altho it doesnt have any def and without even going to the fountain i know i cant upgrade it so rly is it worth it at all, but w/e

also, i read online that if you can learn the timing of parrying their lasers they go down REALLY easily but i suck so much at combat

i guess i'll just wear my anti-guardian stuff, i have daruk and mipha's abilities and fairies AND FAST TRAVEL if anything goes wrong

YES i did it holy FUCK

oh my god! three-shotted!

oh

i just climbed a small hill and got my first look at the rolling green plains...i missed you

no, no, i gotta go get epona to make this perfect, there's a stable i can warp us both to

omg it's the very first people i ever encountered outside the great plateau again

NOOO i hit epona when i was aiming for a monster baby i'm sorry!!!

i gave her an apple and some pats to say sorry ;w;

"legend says that an ancient voice resonates inside that sword...can you hear it yet, hero?"

frankly i'm glad they finally got their timeline shit together bc even tho the games are SO far apart im LOVING these continuity nods

yeesh, only two memories left but they're both RIGHT at the castle...im scared LOL

): i wouldn't feel right taking epona any further

reasons i never have money: cannot physically stop myself from buying arrows

oh, hyrule field is just beautiful ;___;

ohh god im scared

its fine its fine they wouldnt put a memory that close to the castle and then make you go back to impa if hat wasnt POSSIBLE its gonna be ok

awww no zelda sees link as a living reminder of her own failures?? whyyy

ha i love fighting guardians for the first time in ages im like COME TO ME LET US BATTLE

im uh. still working on the timing, but

oh JESUS

my mouth fell open in horror i climbed over a wall to get to the outsideish of the castle (castle town ruins, so says my map) and

the music was already creepy but jesus CHRIST

there's no color except for that blight evil goop stuff...no life...it's awful

poor hyrule, oh god

it's a lot like finding hyrule castle town devastated in oot when you first wake up, except of course this time we've nothing to compare it to visually, only emotionally...

i see a fuckton of guardians too so its a good thing i learned not to be scared of them

ok, god, i can do it, just one memory, i know RIGHT where it is

apparently the hylian shield is in here too and i am sooo sorely tempted

i mean if i have to get that fucking close anyway...

lord i googled it and apparently this memory is super hard to get you gotta Activate some shit but they did it this way they made it so you have to go back out i know i'll be able to come back out i WILL

ah, apparently you need to fight a stalnox for the hylian shield.ok. ok. good, great, Nice, Perfect

haha im soooo scared ;_;

ok, apparently the two paths are COMPLETELY different, so One Thing At A Time

we'll start with the memory, it's more important

tbh, i can't even bring myself to go in. i gotta go around anyway to get to the starting point of this path so i will

lmao i am almost PHYSICALLY ILL with dread this is SO stressful

JESUS

the music went all scary and the map is in 3D like a beast!! which i knew but it's so Much

and i got a cutscene of the calamity screaming with the Classic ganondorf theme i'm Dying how the fuck does anyone just get this memory and LEAVE holy shit

oh my god the main theme comes in!!! jesus

even ballad of the windfish a little?!?!

oh FUCK and ofc with the lightning

haha aww there's a "leave area" button on the map i can bail whenever i guess tat's reassuring

not yet!! i'm gonna have Courage

ohhh i dipped into a doorway just to wait for revali's thing to recharge and the music changed!! so i got scared and went back outside lol

oh god the higher you go the oranger the sky turns it looks like the blood moon jesus fuck

I MADE IT INSIDE

oh god, zelda's STUDY, the rooms all have names bc ofc they do

holder of the triforce of wisdom of COURSE she had a study she's such a nerd im crying i bet she loved it here and it's totally decimated

a silent princess sprouted in her study too ;_;

HER LULLABY IS PLAYING IN HERE IM GONNA CRY

oh good there's the memory!!

ohhh this picture of how it used to be is hurting my heart it was BEAUTIFUL

holy FUCK dude

ok old man is struck from my heart forever he was such a DICK to zelda no wonder he called himself a fool

link knelt right away but god damn i would have interjected on her behalf

you can't expect a person to pray 24/7!!!!

and deny her her passions, which are obviously machines and learning!

omg she has a journal in here and i almost missed it jesus

TODAY SHE MET WITH IMPA im cryin

omg this is her finding the sheikah slate!!!

jesus, and she found the shrine of ressurection too and hoped she'd never have to use it, and Yet...

oh GOD i hit leave area and it plucked me down in the middle of castle town nope nope nope fast travel outta there

ok to impa and then last memory i can do it and then do stream

and for once not play again afterwards bc to be quite frank i could never stress myself out this bad right before bed again, FUCK

hylian shield and all the rest of it tomorrow

h o ly fuck

he DIED protecting her, or he was going to, but she stood in front of him for once and finally unlocked the power, that's how she unlocked it, for HIM

i'm WEEPING and the sword made the fi noise from SS

even the sheikah warriors ran like sheik in smash bros

im gonna cry that was so much!!! there's so much continuity

fi is in TWO GAMES like...that was such direct referencing!!!!

SHE HAS BEEN FIGHTING ALONE FOR 100 YEARS jesus CHRIST she is SEVENTEEN

ok, im gonna watch all the memories in order and then quit for the night

i just realized the ceremony scene is where she mentions embers of twilight and adrift in time - putting us on the mm/tp timeline

aaaah im sad

god and i LOVE her princess dress i wanna see it in her classic pink why is everyone in this game blue??

so like, despite me not being crazy about zelda's voice ACTRESSS and the VOICE she's using, she actually does the best ACTING out of the entire cast

high key loving this zelda who is smart but has trouble with feelings, also

holy SHIT

ok so one of the first memories i got was of zelda coming down mt lanayru

amd it was badass and i enjoyed it

but there's SO much in there once you know more context

mipha was highkey about to spill to zelda that she was in love with link

revali's distain for link

urbosa seems less stern and more caring now that i know her better

now i know what zelda was trying so hard to do

"we have to keep trying until we find the thing that unlocks your sealing power [long shot of link]"

and "i'm not a child anymore" ofc it's bc she just turned 17! like link in oot!

oh man oh man

i love so much link's expressions in these serious moments especially that very last look into zelda's eyes before he "died"

it feels a bit like, with the other stuff i was talking about, i'm getting just a hint of character

and it's kinda close to My Headcanon but even if it wasn't i just like getting to know him

warped back to the temple of time & i'm leaving it there for the night

tomorrow: The End

(and my shield)