#but lesbians would be seen as just for lesbians bc straight girls can obsess over gay men and it not be gay but straight girls obsessing

[ghoulishcraving]

on the theme of queerbaiting and hannibal i have OPINIONS and idk how well ill be able to express them on writing and in english but here we go

i get why some call it queerbaiting, and, although, i myself consider it canon, HEAR ME OUT

I'm going first to put the example of a real life artist, yoongi, from bts, this guy has consistently answered to questions like "what's your ideal woman" by saying "a person like...." or even saying things like "the gender doesnt matter much to me, it's the personality.....", has lyrics on his songs like "either a girl or a guy I'll make you come with my tongue....", and even said on a radio show years ago that he liked "the macho type" in guys, but he is still not considered queer by the general audience, he is not queer, except to queer fans like myself, bc we see that and obviously that means the man is not straight but to the general public, to the straight public he never said explicitly that he is gay, bisexual, pansexual, queer, anything so he is "not gay".

because the thing about queer identities is that they will be denied as long as there is the slimmest chance to do it, as long as there is not a direct rotund answer.

that happens with hannibal, it doesnt matter how obvious is, because there isn't an explicit acceptance or declaration of queerness and there isn't an explicit kiss or sex scene or confession between will and hannibal.

and that is something that we do not realise as much because of the niche audience it has, but if this show blew up, and its audience reached a more general audience we would see the denial of hannigram everywhere.

because even on the "is hannibal in love with me?" we do not get a rotund yes, we get a metaphora, a rephrasal, a reinterpretation, that can be interpreted as platonic. as a platonic obsession.

because even when both actors wanted a kiss it didnt happen it stayed platonic

and what confirmed for me this idea was the treatment of margot and alana's relationship.

we have a show, about the fbi, about a serial killer about violence (traditionally directed to men) protagonized by two very attractive men (usually done to attract a women audience), that plays onto queer topics spectacularly and has a blatantly obvious queer story (for queer people) but it's not a romance, and they never explicitly portray both men as queer, the only (explicit) relationships they are shown having is with other women (therefore not risking the lose of interest or hate from a straight audience that wants to be/men the protagonist or desires them/women) but the moment they introduce a lesbian couple we dont even see how they get together, we barely see anything about them as a couple but we do have a sex scene, wich would be something liked by a straight men audience, ignored by a straight women audience, and liked by a queer audience (confirming the queerness of the show) but without risking the proclaim of the two protagonists.

I hope this makes sense, and I know what fuller says and that the man just need a bit of cheering to write and post hannigram porn on his social media but honestly for me, what a creator, producer or actor post on their socials do not count bc it's not on the show, and again it allows deniability, it isn't canon

most of this is basically how I see the show translates onto a publicity and commercial sense, I myself consider hannigram as completely canon but still I'll always say that not putting a kiss on screen had nothing to do with the purity of the bond, or the complexity of their relationship and more to do with its marketing and the possibility of losing audience over it.

although in the end the audience of this show is the queerest I've seen hajfjdbnrnf

[outofmymindbebacklater]

i love all the happy gay shows that are coming out (pun intended) recently, but when are we gonna get lesbians? and not as side characters to the gay shows?

I want middle aged women just living their best life and falling in love in some fantasy show about pirates or dragons or sth

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

thirsty // tom holland

Summary: You and Tom read some thirst tweet for a BuzzFeed’s video

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: suggestive

A/N: As always, remember English is not my first language. Also, thanks to @amandalove​ for proofreading this! 💙

I got all of the thirst tweets from the BuzzFeed videos and some for Tom from an article from them. I don’t own any of them.

main masterlist

“Hi guys, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“And I’m Tom Holland.”

“We are at BuzzFeed and we’re going to read some thirst tweets.”

Tom held the bucket for you and you picked a piece of paper. “Y/N Y/L/N is literally the most beautiful human ever. Goodbye,” you read. That was a very good start. “Have you seen Megan Fox or Blake Lively? There are so many more beautiful people out there.”

Your boyfriend took the paper from your hand. “I agree with them,” he said, staring straight at the camera and pointing at you. “Have you looked at her? She’s a work of art.” You smiled at him and leaned to place a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, love.”

“Tom Holland is a precious bean, protect him,” Tom read. “That’s sweet. We are starting soft.”

“I think it’s gonna get worse as we continue.” You have watched some of the other celebs videos before so you knew what you got yourself into, and you knew things could get very spicy.

“Y/N Y/L/N is like a fine mixture of sexy and cute and seductive like damn girl. Thank you, I’m flattered. This is really boosting my self-esteem.”

“Tom Holland isn't just a snack he's the whole meal,” your boyfriend read. “That wasn’t that bad.”

”Y/N Y/L/N can choke me and run me over and I would say thank you and sorry for the dent in the car,” you laughed. You have seen a lot of tweets like these addressed to other people, but you never thought you would get one.

“Why would someone want to be run over by a car?” Tom asked confused. “People are into some weird shit.”

You wiped a tear from your laughing and handed the bucket to him. “I saw Spider-Man last night and Tom Holland is the purest thing in this world which is saying something because my dog exists. That’s nice. Thank you.”

“If I ever met @YOURUSERNAME I would let her roar the fuck out of me.” You frowned. “What does roar mean?”

“Whatever it is, she wouldn’t do it. Sorry, mate.” Tom took the paper from your hands and tossed it aside.

You held the bucket for him and he picked his next tweet “Tom Holland has set the standard for all Spiderman's and that's the tea.”

You nodded in agreement. “Very true.” You picked another tweet out of the bucket “Y/N Y/L/N is one fine azz woman. Thank you. That’s… that’s nice.”

“When are people going to realize that Tom Holland truly is one of the best actors of our generation?”

“I ask myself that every day,” you quickly replied.

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you to think that,” Tom said before picking a tweet and handing it to you.

“Y/N Y/L/N looks a lot Iike my next girlfriend,” you read, and before you even had the chance to respond, your boyfriend did it for you.

“Maybe somewhere else in the multiverse, but not in this one. Sorry, mate.”

You weren’t gonna argue with that.

“Tom Holland shirtless in Spider-Man Homecoming is my new obsession.”

“And you saw that through a screen. Imagine seeing it in person.” You faked being sweaty, and your boyfriend laughed at your antics.

You picked out another one. “I don’t think I can handle how hot Y/N Y/L/N is. I’m crying. Don’t cry. I’m not all that hot — “

“Yes, you are.” Your boyfriend argued with your statement.

You look at him. “I look like shit when I wake up.”

Tom looked at you with a serious expression on his face. “No, you don’t. You always look stunning.”

You smiled at him. “You’re too sweet to me.”

“Just honest.”

“Daily reminder: Tom Holland is daddy af.”

“Oh, remember that time we were at the mall and someone yelled “zaddy” to you?” You laughed at the memory and looked straight at the camera. “If you are watching this, thank you. You made my day.”

"Y/N's boobs are my favorite thing." You covered your face in embarrassment. “Um… Thank you. My boobs appreciate your compliment.”

“I mean… Your boobs are amazing but your personality is way much better.” You felt your heart melt at your boyfriend's words.

“I love how everyone can agree that Tom Holland is hot af and daddy material, even the lesbians,” he read. “That’s… that’s a really nice one.”

“You are keeping that?” You laughed when you saw that he didn’t toss it out. Instead, he put it inside his pocket.

“I’m gonna hold onto that one.”

You shook your head and picked another tweet for you. “Y/N Y/L/N can get it anytime.”

“She doesn’t want it. But thank you for the offer.” Tom took the tweet from your hand and tossed it aside just like he had done before with the previous tweet.

“Tom Holland is both sexy and cute and it’s really affecting my sanity”

“Same, girl,” you commented, and picked out another tweet. “Y/N Y/L/N owns my ass.”

“She already owns an ass, and it’s a great one if I say so myself.”

“You do have a lil cute ass.”

Your boyfriend looked at you offended, “I don’t have a lil ass.”

You laughed, “I know. I’m just kidding, love.”

You handed the bucket to him and he picked a piece of paper, "My ideal weight is Tom Holland on top of me."

“Mine too!” you grinned.

“Oh my god… Mum, if you're watching this, please stop.”

You laughed and picked another tweet from the bucket. “Y/N Y/L/N can stick her tongue down my throat I guess.”

“I guess I can, but I’m not going to.” You shrugged. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“I think if Tom Holland were any more perfect, my eyes would have a meltdown and I’d go blind. That’s very nice. But I’m far from perfect.”

“You are perfect for me.”

Your boyfriend’s gaze filled with adoration landed on you. “Thank you, darling.” He pulled your chair closer to him as he threw an arm around you and placed a kiss on your temple.

“Y/N Y/L/N is the most perfect human ever, I love her so much. I wish I could rub her nipples & lick cheese off her butt.” This one made you a little uncomfortable. “Um… that’s really specific.” You didn’t know what else to say.

“You shouldn’t put that on the internet.” Tom's voice was serious and you could see how he was clenching his mouth. You put a hand on his legs, letting him know everything was fine.

“I’ll pretend that my body pillow is Tom Holland.”

“I’ll tell you, he is an amazing pillow but he is MY pillow. So back off.” You turned to look at your boyfriend, he was given an amused look to you. “Any comments?”

“Not at all, ma’am.”

“Y/N Y/L/N I love you with your glowing skin and your perfect face I just want to hug you bc you are the love of my life. This is probably one of the sweetest things ever.” You looked down at the tweet again. “I’m keeping this, I’m gonna frame it and look at it when I’m sad.”

“Tom Holland fuck me in the ass with that English accent,” he read. “Is that even possible?” Tom frowned looking at the tweet and then giving the camera a confused look.

“Why does it have to be him, though?” you questioned. “Hiddleston, Paul, and Ben also have English accents. So, you know, go and ask them.”

“I can’t believe Y/N Y/L/N invented being sexy,” you laughed. “I find it hard to believe, to the point of knowing that’s not true.” You paused for a second, before speaking again. “Who was it that invented being sexy?” you wondered. “Like, when was sexy invented?”

“Is that something that worries you now?”

“Well, it’s an interesting subject!” You defended yourself before handing the bucket to your boyfriend. “This is the last one, better be good.”

“I have a whole Pinterest board dedicated to Tom Holland’s abs because fine art must be recognized.”

“Yeah, girl!” you beamed. “Also, can you share that board with me?” you whispered like it was a secret. “And that’s it… It wasn’t that bad.”

Your boyfriend glanced at you. “That’s your opinion.”

“Oh c’mon, you can’t tell me you didn’t have fun!”

“I would rather be roasted by Anthony and Sebastian.”

“That’s saying a lot…”

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[sanchoyoscribbles]

Tm2 Queen and her pieces redesigns 👽💫 it was long overdue! I love her catci squad, all of them are named after cactus types except Queen and Arilla 😌

Tm2 directory including the protagonists references and more story info can be found here!

And these character's bios under the cut! Who's your favorite? 🌙

They all have greenish hair (except Arilla) bc green hair is super common in this lore, like brown or black hair on Earth I guess? None of them are blood related!

🌙Erdisia 22. She/her lesbian. mint green hair that gradients into sherbet orange. Grayish purple eyes. 

outfits: Enjoys wearing cute, puffy clothes! Ribbons, bows, chiffon, silk. Short dresses and shorts. 'Cute' hairstyles like ponytails n braids. 

Personality/backstory: Cheerful and highly aggressive! She will 100% stab anyone with a smile. She really hates humans and thinks they're all below her. She loves cute things, and but she has a really nasty personality that doesn't match at all. She's super good at sucking up to people and flattering them if she wants something, though. Anything nasty or unpleasant, like torturing? Killing? She is absolutely there for that. She does ALL the dirty work dealing with prisoners of the rebellion. Persi would very much like to have Words with her about that...Sapote doesn't actually like this girl, but Erdisia? Is like, lowkey obsessed with Sapote. Like 100% thinks she should be working with Sapote instead of Cara. Obviously since she's a human, Cara doesn't care for an alien speciesist against humans, and Erdisia goes out of her way to say nasty things to Cara in return. Cara is super good at ignoring people tho, which only makes Erdisia more mad.  

🌙Tunillo 17. He/him straight Male. light olive green hair. light grey eyes. 

outfits: slouchy, comfy clothes. Literally cannot be bothered to dress like a real person.

Personality/backstory: Entitled and sarcastic. Always thinks he's the smartest person in the room when he's hardly in the top ten in a room of five people. He's every dudebro you've ever met who's mansplained at every woman he's ever met and simultaneously expects them to fall in love with him while he has nothing to really offer and refuses to do any work around the house. That guy. He hates talking to the others and is pretty anti-social, but he's competent with tech. His job is to monitor everything. Like, he's the guy who watches the cameras to make sure no one is up to no good business. The visor over his face can switch to any part of the alien ship, and he can even hack into cameras on Earth. He's a SNITCH. He also dabbles in robotics and hacking. Neither Sapote or Cara like him very much :^)

Funfact: No one has seen him sleep. Seriously, you think Queen'd assign more than one person to watch cameras for this reason. Hm..

🌙Saguaro 25. They/them aroace. Pine green hair that gradients into jade green. (???) colored eyes.

outfits: they like robes...comfy. flowy clothes. like. Snuggies. probably wearing slippers. 

Personality/backstory:   They are pretty mysterious! Despite always having bindings over their eyes, they happen to be the best with a sword. Like literally undefeated. They have a very peaceful personality though, inviting anyone to meditate and drink tea with them. They're always happy to talk about their religion, which is the now banned church of Deep Blue. (Queen is very About Science and very anti Guy Who Tried to Kill Their Own and stuff. She also doesn't like the idea of anyone following a dead leaders beliefs instead of following Her. So.) A firm believer in destiny, they're actually against Queen to an extent, but believes being close to her will lead them to the path that Deep Blue will cross. Because destiny. because Saguaro totally believes the Revival Is Coming. Most people think they're super weird for it, and Queen has, in her very polite way, banned them from being Too Vocal about it. Sapote is super weirded out by it. Cara is like. Kind of amused and kind of enjoys hanging out with Saguaro because they're like, even with all their quirks, the most chill of the group. Also, cool sword collection. Saguaro is happy to hang out with the human! But at the same time, they'll make remarks that sound full of pity towards the humans. 

Funfact:  Queen doesn't like them wearing blue because that's Deep Blue's color whereas she likes yellow and white. They wear a good bit of blue anyway! A quiet way to rebel, maybe? 

🌙Queen 24. She/her bi. Sacramento green hair. gold/orange gradient eyes. 

Outfits: She's always in a dress/gown in public, bun on the same side or hair down, and usually wearing red lipstick. Always dressed in gold, yellow, white (or a combo of them) ANY kind of crown or circlette headdress or gown is ok! When not in public? comfy. hair tied out of the way so she can work! 

Personality/backstory: Elegant! Leaderly! Graceful! Poised! At least when people are watching her. Yes, her name is really Queen! Eccentric parents that wanted her to be the best. She's..probably disappointing them with this career path. She's the top general of the alien army and revels in the irony of her name. She's really charming to talk to and acts like a Real Lady...but most the people listed here have seen her when she's not in front of people. Which is. Her in a lab coat, messy bun, up until the morning after an all-nighter, taking notes faster than she can speak them. She LOVES science and is more passionate about it than being a leader. But she must have her own reasons for taking on such a big role and running operations against Earth so aggressively, right? (;

🌙Arilla he/they pan 25. periwinkle grey hair with dark mauve grey bangs. ice green eyes.

outfits: Enjoys wearing comfy clothes. However, he NEVER shows his arms, legs or neck for personal reasons, so if dressing him in alternate clothing, keep that in mind! Keep him Covered Up.

Personality/backstory: Tired. Seriously needs a nap. Sleepy and grumpy at any given moment. Borderline snarky when he can be. Queen's righthand who's actually left handed too, probably. He doesn't do actual like, fighting stuff, he mostly just follows her around, making sure she doesn't miss meetings or trip in her heels. Makes sure she eats. I don't want to call him a babysitter, but. He also checks on Cara and Sapote in the same way as a part of his job. Sapote LOVES picking on this dude. Drives him up the wall. Cara is pretty ready to boss him around too because she thinks he's a pushover (he is). He kinda doesn't even like Queen on a personal level or agree with what she's doing, but he's in debt to her for something she did for him in the past, so he feels obligated to work for her. The emotion he feels towards her is something like pity.

🌙Pereskia. 28. She/her bi aro. crocodile green hair. fern green eyes.

outfits:  Despite her very serious personality, she really likes dressing up a little. Loves heels to tower over people, won't wear em while fighting tho. Also, she's super all about showing off her muscles because she's proud of them. Suns out guns out. 

Personality/backstory:  Serious and hardworking. She's the one most likely to do good on a group project but also the most likely to nag you into the ground about making it PERFECT. She has a lot of honor, and will work tirelessly to get her job done. She seriously takes a lot of pride in it, but she will never be overly sadistic about it; she's all about being efficient. She doesn't get along with Sapote like, at all, because she thinks she doesn't take her job seriously and is mad she got so far with her kind of attitude. She actually does get along with Cara tho and has nothing personal against humans. She just thinks the humans at the top are consumed with greed, and feels bad for all the other ones that will 'have to die for that'. She's really protective over kids.

[defeyeant]

tiny rundown of oc muses:

DOLORES GORDON

stranger-aligned avatar, she/they enby lesbian, 30s but her appearance is fluid, irish by birth and weird by entity influence, unwitting shapeshifter, silver tongued devil. 

former human who somehow fell into family influence with the stranger and was changed. has never stopped changing, really. originally a tall, slender figure with straight black hair, blue eyes, and an angular face dotted with freckles. has shifted over the years into a variety of forms, though is currently somewhat fixed as a chubby, short figure with brown wavy hair, grey eyes, and a soft, mischievous face with a few moles. her eyes have also taken on the glassy, inhuman stare of a doll. besides this, she has some ever-present ‘red right hand’ at all times, some subtle othering to let humans know to be wary, that this creature is not quite human.

largely based on the concept of fair folk mythology being based upon humans trying to interpret stranger influence in less enlightened eras.

like most stranger avatars, is affable and eager to reach out to the world. she even does it completely free of her work for her patron, and notes having several friends outside of the circle of her entities servants. she’s quite good at getting others to let their guard down for at least a short time, and then striking as soon as she finds a way in. easygoing and devil may care, she is easily one of the most approachable of her kind.

despite this, she is good at big games, but loses the plot in other regards. she tends to be more bark than bite at the end of the day, lacking the power or influence that her superiors in the stranger’s food chain lord over her. she tends to be wishy-washy, an anywhere the wind blows type who realizes she’s in too deep far too late to course correct.

while she works for them, she did not originate in the circus. she just thought nikola was a riot and has had fun watching them go about their business, and decided to join in. it’s something she has come to regret several times, but keeps her head up because they’re really going to change the world. she only narrowly misses the explosion at the wax museum by sleeping in on the big day -- she had a last get together with her human friends before nikola made the world intolerable for them come morning. escaped in the van with breekon while holding a macabre memento of the day. currently possesses one of @sittimoranimiinterfectorem​‘s tim’s hands, left relatively intact in spite of being violently blown off of his body.

wishes she could shapeshift into agnes so jude would [REDACTED] her [REDACTED] :’(

‘MISS LUKAS’

lonely-aligned avatar, cis woman of unknowable orientation, appears to be in her twenties but is likely older, originates in the old family stomping grounds of kent, a bright young servant of her family’s entity, a woman who calculates love as sacrifice.

only child of a lukas family solicitor and his morose wife, their daughter showed a particular talent for the forces that her family had invoked for generations. a small, insignificant girl who is pretty in a way that does not particular stand out. rather old-fashioned features, a soft face made more delicate for her anemic complexion, defined by heavy-lidded blue eyes and a slightly too small mouth. her hair falls in soft ringlets to her mid-back when loosed, and is an unremarkable shade of brown. petite and delicately built, she is easy to ignore unless one is really looking for her -- but why would anyone do something so silly? her clothing is often dated, less in the style of annabelle’s vintage glamour, and more like she’s in a relative’s hand-me-downs or stepped out of a cheap period drama. she does not stand out as either a threat or anyone of note.

reserved and apathetic, she is the model of a perfect lukas. she puts off an aloof aura when she chooses to be perceived, something that should keep others at arm’s length. she has a penchant for dramatics and soliloquy, and leads a rather inactive life from her seat of power. obsessively bookish, preferring the company of literature to any other pleasure in life. a talented manipulator and vindictive enemy. she walked out of a gothic novel, mysterious and cultured in a way that says she could care less about your opinion about it. 

despite this, she still has some sparks of humanity. she is a great lover of mischief, and has been known to at least make an attempt to interact with those who excel at it. deeply loyal to her clan, she keeps her distance from them as she should while still aiming to do the family name right. she is rarely seen to act against those who do not act against her first, a sort of old world standard of ‘don’t start none, don’t want none,’ though admittedly her sense of who earns her wrath is arbitrary at best. she lacks any sense of self-awareness towards her oddities, which can make her either grating or overtly amusing to interact with. she also feeds fuckboys to the lonely so idk what more you could ask for.

operates out of the moors, where the mist comes in thick and the landscape can make one feel like the last person on earth. her typical prey is that of entitled men who refuse to respect a woman’s desire to be left alone to her devices. she approaches it from the idea of ‘you wanted to be part of my solitude so bad, then join it.’ she tends to court their interest, string them along for some days or weeks, then lure them into the mist. has also been known to have the lonely swallow lost travelers who approach her property and it’s implied she might have fed several friends from her youth to the mist.

she hates peter bc she is clearly a virtuoso but he gets the acclaim as a family representative. that’s an oxymoron. they are lukases, they should not have a representative. twat.

her true name is carefully guarded and never spoken. every man she takes on as a sacrifice has known her by one of several names. the most common she falls to are aurora, esther, rosalie, and faith.

yes, these two know each other. yes, dolores is the extrovert that adopted miss lukas as an introvert. miss lukas keeps throwing dolores into the lonely hoping it will grant her a moment’s peace, only for dolores to come crawling out citing her love for her friend as the north star to guide her back here. dolores also does not understand that the lukas family is not nuclear, but a clan, and repeatedly wonders aloud if peter is her friend’s father, uncle, or grandfather. miss lukas suffers constantly in the other’s presence, which is no less than either of them deserve.

[saportuh]

ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT 

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT 

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician. 

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf” 

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for. 

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME” 

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY, 

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow. 

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

[bazookapussy-stankhoe-5000]

BMC Headcanons

I have literally been thinking about this all day so

Christine knows sign language and taught Jeremy and Michael some and now they wont stop signing “i love you” at each other

(Rich doesnt know sign language and thinks theyre pretending to be at a rock concert)

Christine loves Disney and makes references all the time but Rich doesnt understand them bc hes never seen a Disney movie so she makes him watch a bunch of them

(his favorite it “Tangled”)

Michael drinks weed tea bc “I’m a refined stoner”

Rich is a musical buff so he and Christine sing musicals all the time together

Christine is also a history buff and her favorite musical is “Hamilton”

Rich is actually really good at sewing/cooking/etc bc his dad wont do any of that so he had to learn himself

Michael cronches bathbombs

(like if he and Jared existed in the same universe they would bond over cronching bathbombs)

sometimes Jeremy cries himself awake bc he misses his mom

Christine spends her weekends volunteering at the animal shelter and she spends so much time there they keep offering to pay her but she wont let them

Jake is actually really good at school he’s just kind of a ditz

(like he’s a complete math whiz and can recite the entire Constitution w/o hesitation but he forgets things like the role of Juliet in “Romeo and Juliet”)

Michael plays the saxophone

Brooke drinks five cups of tea per day

(during midterms and finals she pours monster into her tea)

Brooke and Michael are really good friends

Jenna has a bunch of hamsters and has dedicated almost her entire room to them

Chloe is a cat person and her parents got her a ragdoll kitten for her eleventh birthday and they are literally inseperable

(she taught it little tricks and everything and it likes walks and baths but it will literally only listen to her)

Brooke is totally more of a dog person and her family owns a chihuahua and a newfie

(they like to sit on her lap specifically chihuahua on top of newfie on top of Brooke)

Rich is a complete nerd and loves things like “Lord of the Rings” and “Harry Potter”

Rich has a bearded dragon named Voltron and he likes to put wings he made himself on it

(Jake thought Voltron was a band)

every Halloween the squip squad gets together to go trick-or-treating and watch “The Nightmare Before Christmas”

(Jake refuses to throw anymore Halloween parties)

despite burning his house down Jake doesn’t care and he and Rich are still best buds

when the squip squad has sleepovers Brooke and Chloe do everyone’s makeup

(the guys get more excited about it than the girls)

Jake wears crop tops

Rich exclusively wears tank tops even in the winter

Rich also almost exclusively listens to 2000s bops and literally prays to Beyonce

Christine’s favorite scents are citrus

Chloe writes faster in cursive than she does in print

Michael has terrible handwriting whether it’s cursive or print

(like to the point that even he cant read it)

Rich and Michael watch anime together (especially “Voltron”)

Rich is terrible at video games without his squip

Jake calls Michael “Mike” even though he initially told him not to

“Michael’s gotten so used to it that he doesn’t care anymore and is actually surprised if he calls him anything else)

Christine and Jenna get really really excited about the holidays and buy everyone gifts

everyone celebrates Hanukkah with Jeremy

Rich absolutely hates eggnog because he only knows about the alcoholic kind that his dad drinks and he’s actually a little scared of it

once Rich becomes friends w/ the rest of the squip squad he celebrates the holidays with them every year

(before he didnt really celebrate bc his home life kind of sucks)

(also after he first celebrates with the rest of the squip squad he lovesthe holidays as much as Christine and Jenna)

without his squip Rich has no idea how to flirt of be in a relationship so he is incredibly awkward

Jake doesnt know how to dab and cant seem to get it right

(like this vine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4Hl6Rx-n_s )

Chloe insists on Brooke carrying her and it’s to the point that she’ll just lift up her arms and Brooke will pick her up

Jenna and Christine are the groups’ moms

Rich and Jake play Wii Sports together

if Michael and Jeremy are playing a game against each other Michael lets Jeremy win sometimes

Jenna runs a blog and is working on starting a project to save the bees

Chloe plays soccer

Brooke sometimes insists that she and Chloe have a movie marathon

(their marathons can span days)

Jenna and Christine are the Platonic Power Couple™ that everyone thinks is dating but really theyre just good friends

(both of them are hella ace)

(Christine is aro/ace and Jenna is an ace lesbian)

the group would go to pride together

(Rich would wear the bi flag as a cape)

(Brooke would paint everyone’s faces w/ their flags)

Jake’s the kind of person that would casually mention he’s not straight and then be surprised that youre surprised

Jake would fist fight anyone who made his friends upset

(except for Rich because Rich would have already fought them)

Rich wants to open a bakery when he’s older

Brooke wears a pan-colored beanie

(even at school bc the teachers dont care enough to tell her to take it off)

Jake has his left ear pierced

Brooke is really good at drawing and runs an art blog

Brooke is very empathetic and acts as the group’s counselor

Mr. Heere’s first name is Greg

(don’t ask why it’s mostly cause he reminds me of Greg from “Steven Universe”)

on father’s day everyone gives Mr. Heere a little gift cause he acts like everyone’s dad

Jenna is a fanfic writer

sometimes the squip squad gets together to play Kahoot

(it gets really competitive and friendships are tested)

Jeremy understands that grades are meaningless in the long run but still gets really stressed when he’s not doing well in school

Michael likes to quote really obscure movies that no one knows

Jake owns a melodica

(he also knows how to play the piano really well)

Michael insists that he and Jeremy take pictures together to put on holiday cards and send them to all their friends

(Jeremy wears a Hanukkah sweater and Michael wears a sweater that says “HO HO HOMO”)

Rich likes to stand on top of things to feel taller

Michael wears light-up heelys

Michael always forgets which is left and right but instead of making Ls with his hands he checks his headphones

Rich believes in leprechauns

(every St. Patrick’s Day he makes Jake go leprechaun hunting with him)

(Jake anticipates it every year and keeps the day free so they can)

Jake is actually really bad at using electronics

Rich insults Jeremy affectionately

(one of his favorite’s is “noodle-boy”)

(at first Jeremy was offended but now he doesnt care)

Jake has owned his jacket for a really long time and it’s falling apart but he refuses to get rid of it

whenever Michael has to say the word “squip” he purposefully mispronounces it (ie squemp)

Rich calls people “godfucker”

the squip squad celebrates the fourth of July and Jeremy’s house because Mr. Heere likes to grill hamburgers and hot dogs for them

(Rich likes to help him cook)

Brooke has two moms

Michael drinks milk straight out of the gallon

Jeremy keeps buying new patches for Michael’s hoodie

Christine has an obsession with button pins so everyone pitches in to buy her a button maker for her birthday

the girls like to go to the Ren Faire

Chloe makes her own incense

Rich has Jake help him make snowmen in the winter because he always makes the bodies too big for him to reach to put its head on

Jenna runs a joke tumblr blog that posts cringey facebook memes

Brooke taught Chloe everything she knows about makeup

Christine stays up late sometimes to surprise her friends with gifts she made

Rich asks Michael to teach him curse words in Spanish

Jenna basically lives in Barnes and Noble

(Christine would but she doesnt have as much spending money so she lives in the library)

Michael likes “Undertale” because it’s got a cool storyline and he adores the animation

(he and Jeremy do voices for it when they play)

Rich bakes cookies for everyone during the holiday season

everyone has gifted Michael a new hoodie at least once but he only ever wears his red one and no one can figure out why

Jenna is in the color guard

after joining the play that one time Brooke found that she actually really likes acting

I am so sorry for such a long post, but feel free to add on if you want

[vitos-ordination-song]

The way things get reified even when people realize they’re social constructs. Like that recent post that was talking about gendered hetero socialization of children, but then separated the kids into “straight children” and “gay children.” I don’t disagree w the idea that kids who more openly are gnc and express same-sex interest are harmed more by this socialization. The point of the post was to discuss why “trans women have male privilege” is bunk and having grown up w gnc amab gnc siblings, I know the brutality of what the socialization can mean to LGBT people in general. So obviously, there’s a point to the post and discussing how different kids are affected. However even saying “straight children” is acting like such a thing exists. If you recognize gender and sexuality as social constructs that are socialized into children, then a person is not straight until they conceive themselves to be. But that “heterosexuality” is taught and must be maintained.

I’m gonna compare myself to my big brother here. My big brother is a “cishet” guy but he was gnc as a child and bullied for it. I watched him go from a happy adorable weird little kid to this bitter incel-like rage machine as a teen. There was obviously a lot going on there but his gendered socialization was a part of it. All the good sweet things about him as a child drained away, particularly any sign of femininity. I have these strong memories of the entire family making fun of pictures of him in a dress when he was a toddler—he was a favorite of the teenage girls who were friends of the family, and they dressed him up, and he had fun. That fun became a source of shame and he became a person so alienated from women that he hated them while obsessing over his desire to be in a romantic relationship.

For me, I mostly remembering hating being a girl as a child. I could only enjoy being a girl when I was reading stories about strong women or “not like other girls” type narratives. I have strong memories of my brothers stealing my barbie dolls as a toddler and constantly making fun of any girly interests. I eventually just wanted to be a boy. I remember telling a girl in third grade that and she said she felt the same way and it was a moment of pure validation.

Snippets stick out at me: my mom telling me men and women are so different mentally that they may as well be from different planets (referencing the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus as her example). I reacted with distress to this. I remember telling an older boy that I didn’t want to date boys when I was 11 or so and he said “what are you, a lesbian?” I didn’t know what the word meant. In second grade, I kissed a girl on the cheek because I was so grateful she befriended me and I told her I loved her. My mom said “it sounds like you’re really good friends with her.” I think there’s a part of me that could have wanted to be with men but it was destroyed because of how coerced I felt to be with a boy. I would get “crushes” on boys which would just be me telling everyone I had a crush and acting like I did. The one time a boy liked me back I immediately lost interest. I was so virulently homophobic by fifth grade that I would get mad at kids for making gay jokes bc being gay was so evil it shouldn’t be joked about. The first time I remember hearing about homosexuality, it was on TV. There was a news story about a California bill on. I must have been 2 or 3. I saw an old lady kiss another old lady on the cheek. I had never seen two people of the same gender together and I was immediately interested but my mom explained to me how bad it was.

I could go on but obviously I had a difficult gendered socialization. My brother did too, both of my brothers did. I mean, returning to my “cishet” brother, though he may never have had interest in men, he still was punished for his sexuality by our parents bc we live in a socially repressive society, especially so for us as evangelical Christians. However there’s distinctions: since I actively came to the conclusion that I was a lesbian around age 14 and told my brothers, I went through a hell that my hetero brother didn’t—you know since he and my other brother outed me. Lol. Like bc of homophobia I was relentlessly targeted and mistreated in my family and things never were the same for me w them. That’s one reason my het brother is living w them and I’m not. However... what if I had just decided I was a straight Christian girl. You could argue I would still be a lesbian. If you repress desires that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. But also, I think to some extent ALL straight people are doing that. Straightness itself is only a coherent category in relation to gayness. And straightness has to remain pure in order to maintain its boundaries. So all straight people are living in functional denial of homosexual potential.

For someone like my big brother, this really wasn’t an issue, I think bc he just doesn’t have homosexual inclinations. And he’s not particularly anti-gay now that he’s older. And for myself, I identify as a lesbian bc that’s how I feel and fits my experiences, but I also don’t try to maintain a rigid boundary of “I am not attracted to men.” I identified as bi for a couple years, but the only reason I did that is that I broke down under harassment and confusion. All my encounters w men have been bad or weird and I just feel more comfortable and myself only w women. But at the end of the day I feel like I’m a woman bc someone told me I was and my sexuality has been shaped by years of shitty traumatic experiences. So lesbianism is about claiming the right to be how I want, but not “who I am”—I don’t have a breakdown when I think a guy is hot and worry I’m “faking” anymore.

[vibrantbloom]

how about a classic becks movie rec post?

This was so much harder to cut down than the books one was! I did the best I could but since @johnwatso wanted my little comments on the vibe and that got long, it’s under the cut

General

The Dark Knight - one of my bby heath’s best performances, one of the only superhero films I’ll ever love

Pride and Prejudice - I love these straights with my entire heart

The Importance of Being Earnest - this is my kind of comedy tbh

Room - really hard to watch at points but it’s one of those movies that made me fall back in love with film, I found it breathtaking

The Truman Show - my worst nightmare in a really good film

Inception - I’m still fucked up by this film honestly, what kind of messed up thriller action @ christopher nolan

The Social Network - andrew garfield going off in this film is everything

Walk the Line - did you know this is another film I used to watch at least once a week for a couple of years

Lion - I cried and cried, the casting for little saroo and then dev patel is perfection

Jackie - admittedly the being brought up around jfk obsession might be an influencing factor here but what a performance from natalie portman

Ex Machina - that oscar isaac dance scene will stay with me

Gone Girl - more women fucking things up tbh!!!

The Lives of Others - this follows a Stasi officer who is eavesdropping on a couple and it’s one of the most fantastically put together, heart beating fast films I’ve ever seen

Get Out - I can’t wait for jordan peele to do more stuff, this was truly an instant classic horror film

Sense and Sensibility - I think in hindsight 7 year old me was just a bit in love with kate winslet in this movie, this is still a go to comfort film for me

Romeo + Juliet - as some of you know, I was weirdly obsessed with this movie at age 5 to the point where I’ve seen it hundreds of times so that’s a thing

Persepolis - such a beautiful mixture of gorgeous style and social commentary

Dead Poets Society - absolutely heartbreaking, even worse now with robin williams but a complete must watch if you’re a film lover

Atonement - so many shots in this are completely stunning, a story that will stick with you and also my fave film costume of all time (keira in that green dress)

The King’s Speech - colin firth as king george vi, v quiet gentle film but fantastic

You’ve Got Mail - the height of 90s romcoms with tom hanks and meg ryan and a classic in my heart

Bridesmaids - honestly I can never remember laughing more in the cinema than I did at this movie, I need more good female comedy films

Catch Me If You Can - I just love the playful chase vibe of this film, leo dicaprio was so perfect for it

Misery - read the book first pls!! but then come and enjoy how fucking incredible and terrifying kathy bates is in this film

Musicals

Moulin Rouge - this is one of the film loves of my life, there’s not a single moment you could ask me if I want to watch it and I’d say no

The Sound of Music - man did I go through a sound of music obsession as a kid, I was brought to the singalong as a 7 year old and

Singin’ in the Rain - the dancing alone brings me an unreasonable level of joy, should also be in the classics section and perfect to watch at christmas

Once - this is close to my heart since it’s set all over my city but it’s also just quietly beautiful with one of my favourite soundtracks ever

Billy Elliot - I love the film even more than the stage version, everything about it is so well done and young jamie bell is perfect as our little ballet dancer

Chicago - this film is just such a joy, like considering the subject matter is murder it’s so much fun

Classics

The Philadelphia Story - I also fell in love with katherine hepburn in this film, her with cary grant and james stewart is some of the most amazing early comic timing

Brief Encounter - this is a classic romance on its head a bit and it was a film I absolutely could not thinking about as a young teen, completely fascinating

It Happened One Night - fucking love it, claudette colbert is unbelievable with that sharp tongue and that hitchhicking scene is Iconic

Rebecca - does it feel conceited to say one of my fave films is my name? sure but while this isn’t quite the book, it’s such a classic suspense film

Funny Face - okay that age difference is fucked but audrey hepburn absolutely shines in this film, there’s one dance scene of hers that going to haunt me forever bc it’s weird and oddly sexy and a little genius

Some Like It Hot - great and hilarious all round with amazing comic timing plus classic marilyn, prob one of the first classics I ever fell in love with as a kid

LGBT

Moonlight - this is up there as my joint fave film of all time, it moved me unlike almost anything else I’d ever seen and I think about it every single day of my life

Pride - great story of the lesbians and gays support the miners movement, there’s so much love and joy and pride in this film and it means so much to me

Brokeback Mountain - fun fact: this is the first gay movie I ever saw and I used to watch it at least once a month if not weekly until heath died and I couldn’t anymore but it’s still one of the most heartbreaking and meaningful things in the world to me even if it’s incredibly tragic and ruined me

Carol - 50s lesbians!! they love each other!! I would die for them!!

The Way He Looks - beautiful brazilian teen love story, one of the scenes is the most tender thing and it still makes my heart flutter

The Normal Heart - all the pain, set during the aids crisis and will shatter your heart completely

A Single Man - this film hurts and just be warned for death in general in it but it’s stylistically stunning, as we should expect from tom ford

I Killed My Mother - I think this is still my fave xavier dolan film, plus the paint scene is another iconic one

Documentaries

Citizenfour - the edward snowden stuff fascinates me, watch this rather than the utter shit that is the snowden film

13th - I would watch anything that ava duvernay makes and this is a particularly well made look into race and the prison system

The Queen of Ireland - a bit of a personal thing since my local gay bar is owned by the drag queen star of this film panti bliss but it’s a good look into lgbt stuff in ireland as well

The Celluloid Closet - essential gay documentary watching, gave me as a baby gay a lot to think about