#but like i don't think anyone is gonna care to judge me lol i am what i am

[blitz0hno]

Plz behold the jacket I painted 4 years ago I need to clean and repaint it

More pics below!

I might be a little insane about them

I would do paintings like this for commissions if I wouldn't have to charge so much between time and shipping 😭

[talaok]

Hey. I have an idea for pedro and reader

The reader's ex calls her in the middle of the night begging her back to him and the reader gets out the bedroom trying not to wake pedro up and avoid any fight but he wakes up and gets jealous and angry

Jealous Pedro is my own personal curse lol, I genuinely don’t get why you like him. But for you? Anything babes. Also, happy ending won in the poll, but thanks to an anon I've decided to write both endings bc I'm an asshole

warnings: jealousy, angst

Pt.2

Oh fuck please not again.

Your phone buzzed on the nightstand, and you didn’t even need to look at the caller to know who it was.

Only one person would call you at 4:45 am. the same one that had been flooding you with texts and calls for a week now.

You had been ignoring him, telling yourself that “It’s just a phase” and “it’ll pass”, but god, had you been wrong.

You and Jason had broken up two years ago now, and casually, just when you had finally made your relationship with Pedro public, he felt the need to connect with you again.

That's not how Jason had always been, he was once caring and fun and everything you needed... until he wasn't.

He hadn't taken your breaking up with him well, and you tried to be understanding of it, god knows you had been in the same position too once or twice, your heart broken, your mind confused- but then when after two months he'd still call you crying, you decided to give him a little tough love by texting him something that could be summarized in "I know you're hurt but this is getting kind of ridiculous at this point" and by blocking him.

Somewhere after that, for some godforsaken reason, you had decided to unblock him, and to really show off your decision-making skills, you even answered the phone when he had called you last week, finding him in tears, begging for a second chance.

If you were anyone to judge, this call wasn't gonna be much different, but this story had to end at one point, and as you got up from the bed, sneaking out of the room as Pedro breathed soft snores into the air, you decided the time had come.

"Jason?" you whispered, tiptoeing to the living room.

"baby? Oh my god it's really you, I've been trying to call you"

"yeah I saw" you stated, not short of sarcasm

"Oh t-that's ok, you were busy I jus-"

"no Jason I wasn't busy, this is inappropriate"

"Wha-what are you talking about baby, I love you" 

there went the tears again

"Jason I'm sorry alright, but I don't, I have a boyfriend, I'm happy"

"no you don't understand babe I can't live without you, I love you more than life y/n, more than anything... I- I need you"

"Jason we broke up a long time ago. It's over. It has been for a while now"

"you don't mean that baby, we love each other, remember how good we were together? I know you do"

"stop calling me baby and stop calling me in general Jason. I don't love you and I don't want to get back together" Your voice raised to a whispery-yell as you got more frustrated.

"Why are you whispering- Is he there? Let me talk to him"

"why would I do that? What would you even want to tell him?"

"I'm sure I can make him understand, man to man y'konw-"

"oh shut up" you rolled your eyes "Jason stop calling me"

"but bab-"

"No. No buts, it's over. we're never getting back together. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to sleep, and I suggest you do the same"

"y/n please- I love you, I need you I-"

"goodnight Jason. Don't call me again" You didn't give him time to finish as you hung up, throwing your phone on the couch and closing your eyes as you took a very well-deserved deep breath.

Fuck this shit man.

"Who was it?"

You jumped on your feet, a shiver of fear running down your spine as you turned towards the ominous voice.

"Pedro-" you sighed, taking in his sleep-filled expression.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" he apologized, with a soft chuckle "Who were you talking to?"

shit

"uh- don't worry, it was no one"

"I don't think it was no one if you got up at 4 in the morning to answer, did something happen?"

"no-no nothing like that, it's stupid, don't worry"

He frowned as he studied your expression, clearly confused at your secrecy.

"Who was it?"

Your eyes focused behind him at the glimpse of your room the opened door granted.

Everything was fine just 10 minutes ago...

"It was Jason"

Pedro paused a moment, taken aback by your answer

"Jason as in your ex-boyfriend Jason?" he asked "And why exactly was Jason calling you in the middle of the night?"

"it's not what you think" 

This was why you didn't want him to know.

He had a history with unfaithfulness, the woman before you had cheated on him multiple times and left him hurt and bruised, and it was hard for him to fully trust you - or anyone for that matter- after that.

you didn't want him to close off again, you trusted each other, and you feared this would have given him a reason to get back to old habits.

"It's not? 'cause it sure looks like it"

"no, let me explain-" you got closer to him.

"I'm so fucking stupid" he huffed, not listening to you 

"no you're not, just-listen to me" you said, putting a hand on his chest in an attempt to calm him down

He watched you, hurt and anger in his eyes, but he took a breath, nodding as he grumbled a "fine"

"He's been calling me for a while-"

"is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Baby, let me talk" you reminded him, and he gave you another non-enthusiastic nod "He's been calling me since I made our relationship public, saying that he wants to get back with me and that he loves me..." you paused, glancing at the way he tightened his fists by his side "and I've been ignoring him because-" your lips turned into a soft smile as you reached for his hand "...well because I've got you, and I don't want anybody else in the world except you"

You intertwined your fingers with his and brought his hand up to your mouth to leave a quick kiss on it.

"and the only reason why I answered tonight is because I was sick of it, and I wanted to tell him once and for all that we're done because I love you, and only you Pedro" You stood on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek "I promise"

You saw the way your words affected him.

And as much as he tried to fight it, you were always the only one able to calm him down, even when his worst fear came to life. Because he loved you, but most importantly... he trusted you.

"are you telling the truth?" he finally asked, as if in his mind he wasn't praying for you to be doing just that.

He didn't want to lose you, he couldn't.

"I am baby. I swear" 

His eyes left yours for a second as he took a deep breath

"why didn't you tell me? I would have done something, I would have gone have a talk with that asshole"

You let out a small laugh

"yeah, a talk" you teased, raising your eyebrows "And besides it didn't matter, it was just a stupid thing not worth your time"

he took your other hand in his, shaking his head

"if he, or anybody else, does this again you tell me, ok?" 

As much as you wanted to joke about how many crazy exes he believed you had, you decided this wasn't the time.

"ok" you smiled "I promise"

"good" he nodded, bending down to ghost your lips "Now let's go to bed so I can remind you of a few things I'm sure I'm better at than Jason"

__ __ __

or... (angst with no happy ending)

__ __ __

"It's not what you think"

"It's not? 'cause it sure looks like it"

"It was just a phone call Pedro, just let me explain"

"A phone call with your ex-boyfriend"

"yes, exactly my ex-boyfriend"

"This is unbelievable," he huffed, passing a hand through his hair in a frustrated gesture "I fucking trusted you. You made me trust you, and then... then you go screw that fucking asshole behind my back"

"I'm not screwing anybody"

"sure you aren't" he turned to walk away, but you grabbed his arm.

"Listen to me"

"To what? more lies?" he snapped 

"No Pedro I can explain if you just let me talk"

"I don't need an explanation, I know exactly what's going on, just- leave me, I'll go"

"Just like that?" you questioned "You don't even wanna hear me out for a second? You so easily lose all the trust you had in me?"

"Can you blame me?" 

"This is ridiculous, I've answered the phone to tell him to stop calling, that's the only reason why! I'm not cheating on you" you spoke, your tone getting louder "And the fact that you came to that conclusion so quickly is fucking insulting"

"right" he snickered "so you answered the phone at four in the morning to tell him to stop calling, very believable y/n" he shook his head "and to think you're a fucking actress"

"fuck you Pedro" you spat out "You know what? I deserve someone who trusts me, who lets me fucking speak and explain myself, not someone who at the first mistake throws me out like trash"

"And I deserve someone who's not a cheater. Guess we both deserve better"

"I guess we do"

[its-a-me-mango]

By saying that support shouldn’t be given to glitch rn, does that include not watching newer SMG4 episodes and other Glitch related stuff? (I’m trying to know whether i should continue to watch them for now)

If you don't support what Glitch is doing in regards to the Tari's VA situation right now, then yes not watching what they produce is how you can show that you don't support them, that also includes not buying their merch for now (I know they just released a bunch of TADC merch which they've been promoting like crazy since this whole situation started (also you don't need to get rid of anything you've already brought, this is about buying their stuff currently)). Striking is one of the best ways to show a company that you don't support their actions, if done en mass it can send a very powerful message.

Withholding your support until accountability is given is how it should be done for companies like Glitch, they're a company after all, they're not gonna read your callout posts in a 83 part twitter thread lol. Obviously openly harassing Glitch and singling out employees to harass ISN'T the right thing to do and doesn't show anything other than you're a hateful person. If you don't agree with what Glitch is doing, I'd suggest striking.

However if you choose to keep watching SMG4 or anything else Glitch make, then that's your choice to make, its up to you to decide if this situation is worth ceasing your support towards Glitch over. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you what you should be doing, nor am I going to judge anyone who isn't doing the same thing as me and neither should anyone else. Ultimately, I don't care whether you watch Glitch productions or not, its my personal choice to stop supporting Glitch by not watching SMG4 and its up to you if you want to do the same.

I think it's most important to stay up to date with everything that's happening and to keep talking about it, we can't just let this be forgotten about because it may cause it to happen again. Keep informed and keep spreading awareness about it until something is done if nothing else. Don't be afraid to change your mind later one once new information is revealed or even admit fault where needed, this is still and ongoing situation so people's views will change as time goes on.

Anyway take care, remember it's up to you to decide how you handled this situation, do it in whatever way feels best for you and for the people you want to stand with.

[fudanshidoublevision]

Double Vision as a father.

Ray better kill him before Double puts his bloody claws on MC and even thinks of forming a family with them. /j

Dude, no, imagine being his CHILD, i feel sorry for anyone who has Double as some type of...paternal figure, LMFAO.

Experiencing parenthood isn't on my “to-do list”. Plus having a child, on this ECONOMY? I'm good.

Parenting is a humbling experience, my parents had taught me AND told me that. Well, that is certainly my fault because I was the devil reincarnated when I was a kid— but they still call me their little devil so not much has changed I guess. ( ͡°з ͡°)

But in this scenario...even if the circumstances aren't ideal, I believe that anyone can do their best if they really want to, it's not easy. It isn't the children's fault that their parents are so troubled. (meaning, if their progenitor is Double Vision in this case, lol)

I've discussed this with my best friend once, a long time ago and they said something about how Double will view his child as a possesion and extension of himself (and yours too, because he would only care about that kid just enough 'cause you are attached to them), i kind of agree with him. But, I mean? If Double Vision has kids with MC, wouldn't that mean he is fond with the idea of having kids? I haven't mentioned nothing about him being capable of “baby trapping” you because everyone else is disposable to him but you aren't. For all he cares, he only needs to held you tight by your throat to remember that he only needs you, he doesn't want or need someone else. In this scenario, your child was planned and wanted.

Even if you loved your child, he will be uncapable of loving them back the same way you love them but he wouldn't be uncaring, dude is deranged and a major bad influence. Mostly because of the way he is and taking in consideration the fact that his parents were emotionally and psychically absent when he needed them around, it's not an excuse considering how in this similar scenario Ray didn't had NO good-present parental figures on his whole life but wants to try his best, it just kind of explains why he acts and why would he act like that. I'm not saying that Ray would be perfect at parenting a child just a bit better than Double for sure, not gonna lie Double gives me “crazy-unstable uncle” vibes.

He is not right in the head, neither i am but hey, this is not a competition for who's more deranged, so...someone has to be the relatively-stable and emotionally available parental figure. (Meaning, YOU.)

Just sane enough to not make a mini Double 2.0. Who can be worse.

He would care...and “love” (the way he “loves you” is pretty different) his own child his very particular way. Yeah, he would be cruel and a piece of shit to you but just a tiny mean and highly authoritarian towards his child.

me if our kid ever asks me why their father fucking SUCKS at giving advice and why is it always has to end up with someone getting hurt:

"Mini-me, if you ever need adivice, you can open up to me and say whatever is bothering that little head of yours. Keeping some ugly thoughts to yourself isn't good, whatever it is, I'll never judge you and you'll never scare me off....What about your dad...? Eh, he...just isn't the best giving out advice. Some people aren't good with their words...and tend to say things that are bad, sometimes it's better to do...whatever you think is right instead of following what others may "advice” you but you can always double-check with me to know if you are doing the right thing.

Why, you ask? WELL... what about if we just...OH, what if we go out for a bit? Would you like that? I'll buy you whatever you want. ANYTHING! Just...dont tell your dad, okay..."

It's sad but it's not easy to explain to children why their mom/dad/parent acts or behaves “weird” or is incapable of doing things their other parent can do.

Oh well, i believe Double's kid wouldn't question what their dad tells them to do or say because...that's their father, they don't know any better than what their parents tell them.

Double's parental skills aren't the best; he is driven by his own emotions and he is the definition of what impulsivity means. He doesn't care much about consequences and who he might hurt to achieve what he wants and what he NEEDS. (You, again, for example. He obliterated the previous Night Crew members because of your “disappearance”. He may or may not broken someone's bones and mayyybe, just maybe! I think... he threatened some people here and there to get your location.)

I thought that maybe he would use your own child as a weapon to tame you so you'll do whatever he says. Emotional manipulation and conditioning...not even that poor kid is safe from that, Double is VERY MUCH controlling and overprotective. No matter how you behave, he stills wants you but of course, he loves a defiant behavior but he can't deny that he enjoys it when you "make things easier".

After all, parents will do anything for their children, right? Oh well, I'll be guessing that you'll do that for the sake of your child. Sorry if I'm wrong.

It doesn't really matter how that child appeared or how they were conceived and brought to you two to form a family. Those little details don't matter, you'll try your best, right? No matter what. You don't have much of an option if you are with Double, I guess. ಠಿ_ಠ

But I have the feeling that this freak will be overjoyed if the kid, shares your and his blood and genes. Just another thing to reaffirm his ownership over you. I don't think he will be capable of harming his own child, psychically, I mean. Maybe he WILL threaten you and say he'll hurt your kid when you “act feisty” so you'll give up.

Double Vision wouldn't be jealous at all of his child if they take all the attention from his most beloved possession off him because they aren't simply a bit of a threat to him and that kid is just trying to bond with you, i don't think Double would even bother to get in between of the parent of his kid and his child. Unless it is to annoy you or just be insufferable, as usual.

I like the idea that he underestimates what his child is capable of doing, lol.

For my own mental peace, i didn't added details like “what if your child had abilities?”. Because I have the feeling Double will be up to NO good with that little piece of information.

But let's just sit and think about it, either way, if your child is an ability holder or not, doesn't really matter if Daddy Double is around. Anything is possible and who is he to deny his child's wish to follow his daddy's step? Villainy, I mean, lol.

He would be overjoyed and proud his child wants to be a villain, like his parents. Well, he still is a villain and MC is not longer in the business because of Double, LMAO.

If you'd like to enter a more dangerous territory well, what if his kid wanted to become a hero? Not even an option, haha.

It's not like they have one, being a villain or just a regular citizen, no child of Double is going to become a hero on his guard. He will be very open about his distaste on the wish of his child wanting to be a hero, he might be ticked off by that.

Maybe he is usually cold-headed when he interacts with his own child, I think it's enough with him having you in edge constantly, at least he wouldn't behave or treat them the same way he treats you. Even though, there are times that his patience runs thin (when annoyed or angry, not entirely directed towards his child) and could say some concerning things that his child may take to heart.

Parents knows best, I've heard from a certain someone say before.

Now, what if that child grows? Woah, they are going through the terrifying, horrifying, traumatizing, horrible phase of adolescence! Amazing, worst years of my life! ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ

They are slowing growing into becoming an adult, they might realize how different everything looks when you are a bit...mature, you become more aware of what's going on around you. They will notice about how some behaviors from their parents aren't normal and not what they seemed, I'm specifically talking about Double Vision but you get it.

Maybe they will develop a rocky relationship with you but I believe that no matter what they will still love you and care for you, maybe you'll become their favorite and appreciate more the way you cared for them, who knows. Maybe they will hate you because you didn't tried enough and had to choose Double Vision as their shitty dad (I think it's for the best if they didn't know the reality of your situation 😁), they will grew and distant but who knows...?

About Double, I have the feeling that for their own sake they'll ignore his dad's existence as much as they can, Double is aware of that and doesn't care that much but I won't deny that he might be annoyed by that and oh NO! They ended up being just like you and Double is going to pick on you for that and even say that is your fault why they hate him so much.

Maybe it's for the better if your kid ended up being more like you rather than Double.

Double is an only child so i believe that he'll only want one single kid but I don't think he would be opposed of having another one but MAYBE, just maybe, no!

But there's something I believe that everyone can agree on and that's on the fact that Double looks so fucking HOT with grey hair.

And oh my FUCKING God, his gloves? You can see his tattooed sleeves and his neck? I feel like a Victorian man seeing a woman's ankles for the first time. I want to break his senile back.

Conclusion, could you have kids with Double? Absolutely, will he be a good dad? Questionable but most likely, not. I think he might be like his parents, he exists but he isn't a reliable person for his kids, it's kind of difficult to come a conclusion because he is so complex to me, my opinion on him is always ever-changing.

OH YEAH, you and your child might be the only ones besides some of your family members who probably meet him wayyyyyy before, a long time ago, that know his real name. It isn't that relevant but one of the most important things a kid has to know it's their parents name and last name, right? Not that Double's real name is going to be used as much as you might think.

I wrote this solely because I had a dream where Double Vision was my uncle and he lived on my grandparents backyard??? Sick and I just wanted to post this because I spent three days of my life writing this and then chickened out.

This post in particular wasn't proofreaded (at all) by my friends that usually encourage to post my dusty drafts.

I hope you liked it, I might add some things to this post in the future...

Anyways, Haley bae is next. Maybe even Binary Star because I think having kids with him sounds scary, if you are aware of WHY ARE YOU having kids with him on the first place (canonically speaking).

How would Double actually act if he ever had a kid: /j

I had this video on repeat playing in my head while writing this.

[venjt]

A form of SH? (Self-harm?)

I wouldn't say it's a form of self-harm. Actually, the opposite! It's a form of self-care! From my experience and from friends' experiences, it's a coping mechanism that helps with our trauma. If antis, think we're making fun of the problematic themes that's far, far from truth, and a very harsh thing to think! If people make fun of problematic situations, then that's a problem, and I wouldn't want to associate myself with such a person.

I hope Antis knows that proships are against harassment in general and respect others with different opinions. (Or they should be. That's the definition, lol.) If a proshipper is threatening you, then they're just a shit person and don't belong in a no harassment zone while harassing. Yet somehow, I often see antis like to use their catchphrase "KYS" all the time. I find such attitude to be awful no matter proship/anti/neutral whatever. Harassment is bad. No one deserves to be called a "good person" if someone says awful things to other human beings.

But like I said, it's a selfcare kind of activity in fiction. It's a safe way to control or explore the dark themes in fiction. It's a healthy way to express the trauma without hurting oneself or others. Some antis don't know this, but when you've experienced trauma, it has to come out somehow one way or another. People don't necessarily HAVE to like dark themes to express or cope with their trauma. Everyone copes differently. Some happen to enjoy / cope with taboo subjects in the fictional space. Which there is no shame. Your fictional taste does not reflect your morals (obviously, lol).

This brings me to another topic, Antis, who believes that if a proship likes the taboo subjects in fiction (ex: incest, age gap, what else? Victim and murder? Lol, there's so much that antis doesn't like.), that it means they like it in real life. That's, again, untrue. Your fictional interest doesn't mean you like it in real life. So that brings the question, "Why do they like it in fiction then?". Well, like I said before, often, it's a coping mechanism. Other times, people just like it in the fictional world. Perhaps there's more or less to it, but it's not anyone's job to understand the why. And if you find it uncomfortable thats complety valid! There are some things I find uncomfortable. That's when we have the power to block and remove ourselves from looking and reading things that we are not okay with. LITERALLY. Like we don't have to intrude a "problematic" artists media if we KNOW what they draw! Or read something that says "non-con warning" or anything WITH a WARNING SIGN THATS THE POINT OF WARNING SIGNS AAAH ⚠️

My thing is, if you're a nice person who respects others and doesn't harm others, then you're good in my book lol I don't understand furries, but if they never hurt a person or never been disrespectful to your surroundings then you're gucci. I have some friends who I don't understand their fictional world, but they've been nothing but sweet to me. Who am I to judge their fictional interest if they as a person treat me better than many other actual human beings lol

Also

Proshippers are aware of what's right and what's wrong in real life. We don't like predators, or incest, or victim x murderers in real life. DUH! Antis, we're on the same page. We don't like those kinds of people! We keep telling them, but somehow, many of them can't differentiate reality and fiction, which to me I find that to be a very, VERY big problem in today's time. If the line of fiction and reality is blurred, then how can people express their creative freedom without having to take a chance of being a "problematic person" or getting accused of harsh things. Also HOW YA GONNA FACE REALITY WHEN RENT IS DUE NEXT WEEK?! If a person is a problem to another human being, then that's valid to stand up and speak out. Uh, with evidence ofc. Don't just spread around "so and so is a Predat0r because they like so and so ship." Fiction isn't evidence. People will look at you weird if you claim a person is a problem and provide a drawing of Plantcest LMAO. People are gonna be confused why you're showing a drawing to them.

Policing others on what's right and wrong in a FICTIONAL SPACE like that's a problem itself! They're fighting ghost problems and threatening REAL PEOPLE for their interests, and that doesn't sound like a healthy space for anyone. Activism is good, but to the fictional space where it doesn't affect people in their day to day life if very concerning. Hence, why people say "touch grass".

Not every proshippers are good people. Just like not every antis are good people. Every group have their problems. This whole black and white view is unrealistic. No one is perfect. No victim is perfect. No "unproblematic" person is perfect. The world is grey or as I like the world is rainbow.

This is very long lol

In conclusion, proshippers aren't self harming for indulging dark themes. It's a self-help (many therapists would recommend it). Self-harm is threatening others and policing others what YOU think is okay or not. Self harm is also avoiding your trauma and avoiding your fictional interest because others pressure you to think how they do. You're a person with your own mind. Allow yourself to express how you do and don't let others tell you how to think, feel, and tell you what to do. You're human. I'm human.

FICTION ≠ REALITY and be kind to each other! There's more to life than to get mad over what others like lol take a chill pill and think about what you want to make of this world!

Okay, have a great day, yall!

[jyndor]

here's something I need people to understand about the hypocrisy of alicent or crispy ass cole, as well as conservative and/or fundie repressed people in general - hypocrisy is not something they give a flying fuck about.

it never has been- its always rules for thee not me, always always always. whenever they don't abide by the ridiculous rules that they hold others to (and I do mean Others - those in some sort of out group) they don't see it as the same as the people they judge. they justify ALL of their actions, and often those justifications for their own rule breaking is fairly reasonable (since their rules are usually bullshit, of course it does make sense for most people to not be able to hold to them).

but see we, people who have been Othered by these institutions like alicent's definitely-not-catholicism, see the hypocrisy clear as day because we already have been victimized by the rules that people like alicent conditionally follow.

this is how patriarchy harms us all - alicent isn't able to live her best queer life and have lots of passionate sapphic sex with the hottest women in the realm because of how she has been raised to serve at the altar of patriarchy.

it is easy for me to have immense sympathy for a character like alicent hightower, a girl whose father basically forced into child marriage with his old man friend in order to gain political power and influence. even if she is jealous of her girlfriend's sexual liberation* (which alicent clearly both reviles and craves) and ultimately falls further into a religious conservatism that I am never gonna be down with, as a queer myself who has only ever been harmed by that christian conservative bullshit.

anyway at the same time, I see that abused girl become a woman with real power because of her refusal to break a system that has done nothing but harm her. because that system ultimately serves her in many ways too.

this goes for rhaenyra, the liberal feminist hillary to alicent's conservative christian phyllis. rhaenyra ultimately doesn't have a liberatory bone in her body if it isn't about her own rights to exist as she is in a patriarchal world and reap the benefits of being at the top of that hierarchy. the closest any noble person in this canon gets to an actual liberatory political theory of power is daenerys (which... lmao - it's still based in her belief in a divine birthright, even if she would want to use that birthright to get as close to being a class traitor as one gets in asoiaf).

and so while she is a compelling and sympathetic character (thanks to olivia, and yes emily as well) she would be my enemy irl, make no mistake about it. (so would rhaenyra ofc I'm not here for girl boss feminism).

and because she's my enemy I know how she works. for example, these freaks irl are always pointing fingers at queer or just regular old non-fundie people trying to live because they've got a bad translation of a religious text that they likely haven't even read, a text which would also condemn these same people for any sexual act that isn't marital PIV. like a blow job. lmao do you think for one second conservative christian/fundie/fundie-adjacent women aren't giving their husbands head??? okay nancy 'throat goat' reagan lol

they genuinely do not see it as the same thing, and they don't care if it's close to the same because They are righteous and saved and justified in their kinky shit. (that is more of a protestant grace over works thing; alicent's faith of the seven is clearly more of the catholic sort, especially given that westeros is akin to pre-reformation europe but I mean its not a one to one comparison).

hypocrisy is not a good weapon to use against anyone. conservative white christians in the us won't hear about trump fucking a sex worker while his wife is pregnant and then giving her hush money and suddenly abandon ship. sure, plenty will lie to themselves about it being fake news but plenty of others legitimately will never give a fuck about that, even if it seems counter to their whole pretense of morality.

they do not give a shit. alicent hightower likely sees herself as a newly widowed woman who did her time and can fuck her hot guard (his being a misogynistic incel likely is not a problem for her because his inceldom is based in a morality she believes in herself - that his oath was broken by some nasty snake bitch seducing him or whatever, but of course when he and alicent fuck it is moral and good sex, no excuse me it is probably ~making love lmfao) until it's time to say a few hail marys, and she's forgiven! except ofc she's not, but it's fine! because she did everything the right way, right???

the hypocrisy is not going to bother her because she can justify her behavior. however the reason these fundies feel the need to justify shit to themselves is because deep down they know they're not actually following the standards they have set for themselves. there must be a good reason for them to break those standards. those standards that must be followed no matter what. it's irrational and brain breaking.

the hypocrisy won't bother a person like that, but the cognitive dissonance? that's another story altogether. that will bring shame and disgust and self-loathing, which may result in them re-evaluating their ideology but also may just make them double down on that ideology.

getting caught up in the team sports of it all seems very contrary to the thesis of this story and frankly all of asoiaf - that this patriarchal hierarchical divine right of kings ass absolute monarchy system is so oppressive and harmful that even those who benefit from it the most are also certain to fall victim to it in time. and that one team may be marginally or even greatly better than another, but ultimately these teams still exist to keep a fundamentally cruel and inhumane system in place.

anyway rhaenyra stans stop saying alicent is a hypocrite for getting her nut with crincel. alicent stans, watch yourselves because some of you seem to forget that alicent is basically a sympathetic phyllis schlafly.

*obligatory rhaenyra was a victim in many ways; her exploration of her sexuality with crispy ass cole was technically consensual (ofc it was messy all around, even for crispy due to the power dynamics, but ultimately she was a teen girl who had literally just been groomed by her uncle, and he was a grown man so... come on folks)

[stupidrant]

i'm gonna be honest here, i just want to let it out there that i don't think it's entirely fair to judge thrud so harshly for being a product of her enviroment or her mistakes :( i can also point fingers at atreus for his poor decision making and acting out, but that would be stupid to do because he is after all a 14 year old kid. thrud is approximately same age as atreus and angrboda.

and i just realized just like jotunheim was angrboda's whole life and not being able to meet people her age, that's how it was for thrud while growing up in a toxic asgardian home with weird & down right mean family members. like whatever bullshit she saw and heard, all of it was a norm to her. we might not care, but the truth is that asgard was her entire world. her dad, however broken and unstable, was her entire world and wanted him to be better. and i would have had a problem if both dealt with their problems the same way or they were the same characters who showed grace, i greatly prefer them being on different ends of the spectrums so there's more room to develop their traits and arcs.

from thrud and sif's ending dialogues when they were sitting by the fire - i am sure that this is a kid who is going to shake off the ideology and propaganda they were raised with. she has to. because asgard is gone and she has to face reality in the other realms. and i don't doubt that sif the diplomat is going to keep her in check too!

(i am very sorry for the walls of text in your askbox but i find these discussions so fascinating and healthy, anyways i hope you're having a good day and what song are you listening to these days 💙💙💙 me personally i am in love with cowboy carter these days UGH I LOVE THE SONG TYRANT)

Im sure you know this anon but to anyone who might think otherwise i dont hate thrud so pls dont think that and i dont intend to start anything 😭 i agree she isnt a product of her family and i dont really put anything against her as she's just a kid hence why i think the most likely path she'd go is a self-reflection one rather than a self-deprecating one. Having differences is how atreus became friends with her, angrboda and skjoldr so heres to hoping for her and angie to be atleast acquaintances!

some additional comments about this too: i think the responses to thrud's character isnt completely because of her per-say, but more so because of the "fandom" (outside of here) and how she has a lot of weirdos on her (which isnt her fault either, shes just a character at the end of the day and a lot of those people do too much and it comes off as very disingenuous) and i think as time goes on, more people are gonna see through this and be a little turned off on her which is unfortunate because it should never be that serious and im not gonna let those people override my liking for her, im just pointing out how i see things and how dudebros fuck everything up in their paths. (since the year started i've been listening to more slower tempo songs tbh and i dont have any current favorites atm so imma just say sade - kiss of life for now lol)

[actuallyitsstar]

CHARACTER ASK GAME

Pete "Maverick" Mitchell + 21, 24 and 25?

✨ send me a number and a character! ✨

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

i actually already answered this question here, so i will give an honorary mention for this ask, in addition: i am a big fan of the whole tgm-mav-lowkey-being-the-daggers'-friends'-cool-dad trope. like. the idea that they get to know him after the mission and he's obviously taken a genuine interest in all of them and their wellbeing so they all just...stay in touch. the idea that the call and check up on him when they know rooster is deployed, that they start to leave a few extra things at mav's place because he usually hosts their squad movie nights and it's just easier to crash there sometimes, that they realize he doesn't have many people to spend the holidays with now outside of obviously bradley, and they all come together and drag him to a surprise christmas party with them before they go on their own leave for their respective family christmases. that's their emotional support old navy captain and if u wanna mess w him u gotta get thru 11 daggers and 1 son first so good luck!!!

that being said, tho, it can go too far i think, if we're not careful. barring a couple specific circumstances (jake and whatever fucked up childhood/non-existent parental relationships he has had comes to mind) the daggers all have families of their own, and entire lives before meeting mav. i don't think he's like. their DAD per se. he's their friends' cooler than expected dad ('your dad is an ace? that's so cool! i wonder if he has any stories to tell us! he once flipped off a mig while inverted? THATS SO COOL') that they can become friends with and look out for too, and i KNOW he'll be looking out for them. if they need anything he's right there, because that is within his nature. but for the most part, they're all adults who have friendships, and not like. Extra Children. if you know what i mean. except for jake idk i think he needs a role model or something but i guess that makes mav a secret third thing to him idk

24. what other character from another fandom reminds you of them?

oof that is tough!! i think that on most levels, mav is very different from the characters in other fandoms that i have imprinted on the most, so i'm not going to be able to do a 1:1 comparison here. but believe it or not the very first character that came to mind for me is ezra standish from the magnificent seven tv series, and it's not an exact match but i'm just going to provide my presentation on the matter (i am specifically comparing tg86 mav with ezra bc i have no one to compare tgm mav with lol):

horrible quality images (yes i did make these gifs but theyre very old so lets not talk about it lol) bc this is an obscure 1990s b-budget tv show shot on vhs probably. but this guy right here is either the second or third youngest member of his found family group (the seven ~lawmen~ a local circuit judge hires to manage an old west territory because it's so dangerous the sheriff and deputy he'd previously appointed ran out on the job). he's very accomplished at what he does, for his age, and has had way too many shitty life experiences and is much too world-weary already. everyone who works with him comes into it with a preconceived notion of how he's going to be. and how could they not? it isn't that the other six guys are short-sighted in assuming, exactly. ezra is direct about who he is and what he stands for, downright in your face about it, actually. you expect him to be kind of an arrogant asshole, and he tells you he's gonna be one. and then, for a while anyway, he kind of is.

loner type, doesn't need anyone, he's going to do everything his way because he knows best, needlessly theatrical about it in the process. they expect him to run out on them during their battle, and he does.... kind of. but he also comes through for them in a critical moment when he's needed most and they least expect him to do it, single-handedly taking out multiple enemies to save their lives. immediately, he adopted into the group, essentially, but ezra doesn't know enough about really having friends to recognize that it's happening until much later. additionally, his entire life and livelihood is overshadowed by his mother (who can be seen sitting in the bg of the larger gif), who is still very much alive, in his case, but whose actions and words define him, whether he wants them to or not. he had a shitty childhood bouncing between a hundred strangers' and distant family members' homes alike and is just overflowing with abandonment issues, and he expects the other six to give up on him at the drop of a hat, but they never do.

25. what was your first impression of this character? how about now?

the very first time i ever saw top gun was before tgm was ever a thing. i remember my favorite character being goose (isnt he always tho <3) and thinking mav was kind of a bland action hero guy with a story arc i did not understand at all or care about. i was like fifteen, tho, and hadn't seen hardly any movies or tv shows at the time because i had a kind of weird sheltered from media sort of childhood, so i don't think i had rly learned HOW to watch and interpret media and characters yet, tbh. when the sequel was coming out i rewatched top gun with my partner in preparation bc my parents were making me watch the new one, and they had never seen it. i was like oh !!! he's smol and traumatized. i bet there's fic about him and that blonde guy. i should look that up later. and then we watched tgm and that was it for me. i was like never mind him and that blonde guy i need to know if hIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS SON TURNS OUT OK......MY HEART..... and that was that lol. my dna has not been the same since <3

[andypantsx3]

This is going to sound weird, but do you have any tips on how to gain traction as a fanfic writer? I've been trying for years and I get next to no interaction on my writing. I know I shouldn't care because I should be writing for myself, but it's still frustrating to see other writers get thousands of notes, and reblogs and asks praising their fics and I get maybe 20 likes. I've been looking into discord fandom groups but a lot of them don't allow people over 30, and I don't do well with busy groups anyway. I try to be active on my blog, and interact with other people and make myself approachable, but I'm getting so incredibly tired of talking to an empty space. Sorry, I think I ended up venting instead >_<

WARNING: DISCOURSE AHEAD

Omg hello my love!! First of all, I'm so sorry you feel this way! I have so many conflicting thoughts on this, let me try to get them in order for you!!

I guess, let me first start with some tips that I think actually answer your question, and then I'll just monologue about the ways I've been thinking about fandom recently, and you can skip that part if you wanna!

Part 1: Actual Thoughts on Your Question (lol)

I am possibly not in the best position to ask about this because I mostly happened to be in the right place at the right time, publishing my fics in the early part of the pandemic when people were more actively engaging in the fandom. But in my experience, outside of discord groups, other good ways to meet people and get your work out there are joining zines & collabs.

I'm not completely up-to-date with what the accounts are now that track these things, but there are several tumblrs and twitter accounts like BNHA Zines that exist to retweet & publicize zine posts. Look for zines that are in the interest check & application stages!! You can apply during the application phase and the good thing is that most zines will ask for an application piece and will judge you on your work rather than your follower count!!

Collabs are usually even easier because many of them are just open to whoever wants to join! I've only participated in server collabs but I've seen several posts cross my dash that are open to anyone. I'd probably monitor the collaboration and x reader tags on tumblr and join in on anything that looks fun!!

Another thing that I've noticed people do a lot is self-reblog their fics a couple times just to maximize their circulation. I've seen a lot of moots trying to make sure they hit good hours for different time zones and different days of the week to ensure their followers are at least aware that they've posted something if they don't have notifs on (I don't have notifs on so I'm grateful for these because otherwise I miss a lot!!). Even I have srb'd a time or two if I'm particularly proud of something lol.

And I think, if I also wanted to be a shark about things, I would try to get in on the ground floor of a fandom in its early stages!! For example, the second season of JJK is coming out soon and it's sure to bring a wave of new readers to the JJK fandom, especially for the characters like Gojo and Getou who look like they're gonna be the main focus of the season.

I think if you wanted to be extra sharp about things, you might time a fic release with some of the first couple episodes of a new season where you can be sure more people than usual will be poking around in the tags!! And if your fic is published during the early stages of a fandom, it's going to have more eyes on it overall than a fic published towards the conclusion of the series.

Anyway this is what I could think of. I hope this advice is practical and useful!! Now onto me blathering.

Part 2: Resisting Influencer Culture in Fandom Spaces

This part might be kind of controversial. I want to first acknowledge how easy it is for me to think and say these sorts of things when I'm already more than pleased with the amount of engagement I get. And I want to recognize that it is so, so deeply human to want recognition, community, and support for the things that we write.

I think it is so completely natural that you want interaction on your writing. All of us totally do, otherwise we wouldn't be publishing it publicly. If our work was truly, singularly for us and us alone, we'd keep it in the drafts lol. We put it out there hoping for praise and appreciation and connection, and in my opinion there is no shame in that.

So, admission time: I also definitely compare myself to other writers, and I have several times thought about transitioning more towards the type of content that drives higher note counts on tumblr: smuttier one-shots usually under 10k! I can see a huge difference in terms of just my own work on how my one-shots typically do in comparison to chaptered fics. And I definitely see how fast smutty imagines shoot up there in terms of note count.

But I was listening to a podcast episode recently on trying to sort of transition away from a metrics-focused approach to fandom. In the podcast, they talk about how in trying to legitimize fanfic as a literary mechanism, we've also sort of accidentally subjected it to our capitalist-influencer-mindset, where we see fic as more legitimate the more kudos it gets or the more followers it nets you, because in traditional influencer spaces, those followers are potential capital.

I'm definitely not saying you or I see people as potential revenue streams, but I think probably neither of us are immune to the culture at large, and we both probably carry some of internalized sense of our own value based on metrics, reach, and influence. And that sucks!!!!

Fandom, of all things, is supposed to be a specifically anti-capitalist space. We can't make money off of fanfic or fanart (legally, anyway lol), and we're all not the owners of the franchises either so none of our takes are necessarily more "valid" or weightier than others!! We're all supposed to just be trading stories around a campfire with no thought to their literary merit or monetary value. We're just supposed to enjoy the stories.

So, I don't know what the right answer is about how to try to resist the influences of our capitalist culture at large; I'm hoping someone smarter than me will tell me. But I do know that in fanfic, the value of your story can absolutely never be determined by how much engagement you get. Because fandom is not about metrics, and there is no inherent value in metrics. There is only the fun you had creating the story, and the depth of the connection you made with someone over it--even if that's just one other person.

And so I personally am at least trying to resist the lure of transitioning to smutty one-shots even though I think a lot of people would like that. Because what I like doing is writing my little 30k multi-chaps; those are my fave kinds of stories to tell, I'm not letting my metrics tell me what I should be writing.

I hope, at the very least, you know that your worth and the value of your story is not defined by how many other people have read it. And if you ever wanna chat more about this let me know, I'm still figuring this all out myself and could use friends to explore it with!!

[lost-girl-2021]

The Walking Dead

Okay, so I have (yet another) new obsession and I can't deal with it. Guys, I am so scared of zombies and scary stuff, but I love this show. And you want to know why I started watching it? I saw an edit of a fanfic. Is it over 200,000 words? Yes. Have I read all of it? Yes. I quite literally refresh my Ao3 page to check for updates every day (said fanfic is Future Ghosts by dieasthedevil on Ao3).

(Now, I promise I will finish Days Into Decades, I just also need to rnat about this new fic idea)

So, I usually don't do OC fics anymore, because I feel like they aren't as popular on Ao3 as they are on Wattpad and I prefer Ao3 (and feel like more people 14+ use Ao3 instead of Wattpad). And I legit skip half the zombie scenes because I only care about the plot (I'm being 100% rn). I also started at season 9, because I wanted to see Daryl and Negan on the same(ish) side and see the kids grown up (ish). (I promise I'm gonna watch it from 1-11 next, but I was too hyped to watch what I've already read in fanfic lol).

Anyways, despite my best efforts not to, I've started writing a new fic for TWD with an original character. And, I personally think it's not half bad. Idk where I'm going with it, but I do know it'd be set in season 9ish (also, nothing romantic between the oc and any of the characters, but maybe something between the oc and another oc, though I'd honestly prob kill him off eventually). So, for anyone still with me, here's some of what I've written so far.

— (snippet 1) —

“Are you tanning during the apocalypse?” A curious voice called out, startling her from her daydream. Jerking herself up, she had one hand on her knife and she turned to face the intruder.

He was kind of cute. If it wasn’t for the sweaty, blood-stained clothes and the eyebags. He could probably do with a shower too, judging by the state of his hair. She smiled over at him anyways, relaxing her grip on the blade.

“Might as well have some fun, right?” she asked, propping herself up on her elbows. “Can’t all be doom and gloom.”

“It’s— it’s dangerous to be out here.” He insisted, taking a step closer.

“Do you see any freaks?” She glanced around, nothing and nobody in sight.

“Not yet. But— but, it’s still dangerous. You shouldn’t let your guard down.”

“Who says I have?”

The man (barely, he was probably only a little older than her) looked lost, opening and closing his mouth like he couldn’t quite figure out what to say.

— (Snippet 2) —

“I should’ve locked you out.” She snapped. “Or, I should’ve let you in and then set the place on fire. I never should’ve trusted you, never should've helped you.”

“When have you ever trusted anyone, Skipper?” Carol asked, voice soft despite the accusation.

Her eyes darted to Daryl, thinking about quiet mornings spent hunting and the shared thread of orphaned siblings. She shook her head anyways, pushing back good memories of the cabin and the short time when she was actually happy in the end of the world. Who was she to think about any of these people as hers?

“I’m leaving at dawn.” She said in lieu of an answer, looking away from the both of them. “Will you keep an eye on P.J. for me?”

“You don’t need to leave— “

“I should, though.”

[nerdstreak]

I am extremely late but who cares being late is cool 😎

I looked over the songs you put in your pyg!au playlist, they're cool! Whenever you have the time and energy, I'd love to listen to why you chose the songs you did and what they represent! Whether it fits a personality trait, a story beat, or is just something you or Con.nor would actually listen to

(I enjoy making playlists myself, even if I don't do it much, and I do genuinely want to hear you ramble about it)

ok,,, i suppose i could Go Off a little bit abt my song choices thank u,,,

but its still gonna be under a cut ok here we go

let you down: so this is p much connor's general feelings as he progresses through the cases, not succeeding enough to learn about deviants. since hannah is a part of cyberlife, he has another face besides amanda to put to any disappointment he feels is being directed towards him, even if she's never expressed that. this really culminates in the next chapter :3

all these things ive done: connor knows hannah is one of the very few people he can go to, also "ive got soul but im not a soldier" hits

beneath the mask: both of them sort of mask themselves and are afraid of showing their true selves around others

cold heart pnau mix: first verse is def connor catching feelings, also i just always like some good good elton on my playlists (another contender was goodbye yellow brick road, and while its not on here i like to think thats a song they like slow dancing to)

divinity: some future-y porter robinson and the simple lyrics fit well enough

i hear a symphony: PERFECT deviancy song no one can change my mind

i really wanna stay at your house: more future-y techno, definitely more of a 'songs they like to listen to' vibe than strictly plot-related

in her eyes: CHAPTER 4 NAMESAKE LETS GO it was called that originally because the first scene of 5 was supposed to be part of it and really played into the lyrics and emotion of the song

instant crush: more synths!! and again more vibes of just putting all your trust into one person you love

iris: WHEN EVERYTHING'S MADE TO BE BROKEN, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO I AAAM!!! a recent addition thanks to my best friend having never heard the song before reminding me it fits for them

just the way you are (the less cheesy billy joel one): neither of them would change a thing about the other :)

lay all your love on me: who doesnt love some abba, plus like hell either of them are gonna share devotion to anyone else

like real people do: self explanatory waaaaa this song is just so soft

mr blue sky: hey you with the pretty face, welcome to the human race!! blame the prtl fic absolutely lol, but dammit if it doesnt fit both my favorite blue robots

once upon a dream: a small spoiler, but hannah did dream about connor before she went on to finalize his design

past lives: sort of an overall connah song with all the verses i have for this ship, finding each other and being intrinsically linked in every universe

rhinestone eyes: more of a beginning-of-the-ship song, where feelings are more distant but there's still that spark of attachment

somewhere only we know: before hannah started on the rk800 project, she was starting to get a bit jaded working for cyberlife, but he sparked her passion again and now wants to rely on him, and in turn he relies on her too, someone that can listen without judgement, just as he does for her

steal the show: purely put it here cuz that one scene in elemental made me think of them :)

yellow: gentle vibes of wanting to do anything and everything for the other person

you might think: no matter how other people might judge an android/human relationship, neither of them truly care what others think in the end, because all they need and want is each other

[bee-buzzzzz]

Cass Cain for the character questions >:3c

Okay so I've been a bit busy lately so it took a bit to get to this but YES! CASS!

Favorite thing about them: I love her dedication to her morals, to what she believes in. I love just how much she cares about doing the right thing.

Least favorite thing about them: This is less of a character critique and more of a fandom/writer critique, but I dislike when her jagged parts are shaved down. She is rebellious! She's feisty! She will not sway or bend her morals for anyone (I'm mainly thinking about when people have her like Jason or even get along with him. He kills. She would judge him so so hard for that!)! Let her be jagged and sharp!

Favorite Line: Agh it's been a while since I've read Batgirl 2000, but "Nobody dies tonight" is an iconic line and if I remember that story right in total it's a wonderful encapsulation of her character.

BrOTP: Honestly? Her and Kon. I never liked them together, but as friends I just think they'd have such a good dynamic.

OTP: StephCass all the way. Maybe it's that I'm a sucker for a sapphic ship, maybe it's that panel where Cass hallucinates Steph bridal carrying her, maybe it's that and a lot more lol.

NOTP: Of course, none of the batboys because that's disgusting but that's also a given. So, I'll just go with Kon. It's not the worst ship in the world, it doesn't trigger my gag reflex, I just don't jive with it.

Random Headcanon: Her fashion sense is very Joan Jett-esque.

Unpopular Opinion: I don't really know. Man, I am so gonna re read Batgirl 2000 soon because I'm realizing I've forgotten so much about her. I guess it's just what I said above, really, she isn't all soft and demure, she's tough and rough but above all else she is kind. Too many people conflate kindness with being soft and unconfrontational, but really kindness is the ability to treat people like people, and that makes you neither soft nor unconfrontational, in my opinion.

Song I associate with them: Monster from Adventure Time: Distant Lands Obsidian (specifically the King Princess version). So many lines resonate with my view of Cass, but especially the line We were messed up kids who taught ourselves how to live, so scared that I'm not good enough I just- that whole song feels like Cass to me. She hated herself for so long for what she'd done, even though she was just a kid. As someone who was raised as a weapon, she's been seen as a monster, she's thought of herself as a monster. She didn't truly receive the love she gave to her father as a child, instead she received a grotesque distortion of love. So for her to be loved, truly and wholly, it's all at once frightening and healing for her.

Favorite Picture of them:

This one! It's really pretty to me and it just- aaaaa I don't know how to describe the way this panel makes me feel I just love it a lot.

[seattlesellie]

hi! i feel kinda tired because of the way where my thoughts are going. i don't know if i'm lesbian or straight :/ i'm someone that cares what others think and maybe try to fit in. when i imagine myself with a woman it does make me feel good, i even feel so happy from just thinking about it. when i think about being with a man, it's also fine but after awhile i would feel a hesitate. i only had a boyfriend in high school and we did nothing, it lasted one week lol. i've never had a girlfriend but when i was around eleven i kissed with a girl and we called it "just because we are wondering how it feels" in my middle school years i did caught myself being attracted to a girl but i thought it was a "friendly" way? i still feel so confused. it's not really a just try it out situation for me cause in the future i do want to get married with someone. the problem is i can't see myself being married with a woman (no judge to anyone it's just something about me) cause even my heart tells different, my mind telling me that it's not right or having kids with a woman. my mind tells me that there are gonna people who would harrassed that kid, or anyone when they found out i'm with a woman they'll talk bad about me to their kids. like i am some kind of sinful object to see them. beside that, being married with a man, it's more easy. you can go everywhere and be "classy couple" being cheered up for how good you guys are look together. if that's going to be my way, i'll be okay but my heart would be belong to a another dream. if i choose a woman damn i'll be happy but my mind would always think about how it would be more "accepted"

and i'm someone who think with the mind. the way i think, i know it may sound too problematic. that's why i'm writing this to take some advice. probably my thoughts on this way because of how i've raised. it was always "to have a nice family you need a man" i don't know and i just wanted to get it all out. sorry for the hella long writing 😥

oh man i don’t wanna assume anything, but it truly sounds like comphet and i know how much of a struggle that is. all i can tell you is that being in a marriage/relationship with no real love and no real attraction is gonna make you miserable. so i get thinking that it’ll be easier to just “play straight”, but will it really? there’s nothing more difficult than not accepting yourself for who you are. i’m honestly suggesting therapy (assuming you can afford it, if not— can even visit your local lgbt center if you have one) cause as much as i’d love to tell you to love yourself and embrace your sexuality, it might cheer you up for a millisecond (and even that’s questionable), but at the end of the day it’s not gonna do anything meaningful. i wish you all the best and do NOT give up on yourself 🩷

[mistbow]

toz negativity rant

it's honestly really disingenuous to say that Z fans can never take criticism and that they always take things too personally when the loudest voices (but ultimately I believe are minority) are always about how bad it is and that the fan environment is not healthy at all when genuinely expressing even the slightest bit of positivity about it in a very unapologetically subjective manner often makes people hostile towards the Z Liker (Opinion Haver), which is far worse than people expressing annoyance at constant negativity surrounding it because at the very least it's still in their own spaces (you don't have to like/agree with everyone, and the least you could do is just leave each other alone. who the heck cares if you like that anime for example, I'm not saying it's wrong as long as you don't bother anyone else. this is actually a proper netiquette/manner in fandoms too to leave others in their spaces for their own preferences, likes/dislikes). I'm talking about unwanted attention like troll replies (both in JP and EN) or recently, something like being downvoted to hell for actually clearing up misunderstandings about Z (not even about any of the game controversies btw) objectively without arguing back (because I sure as hell am already long past convincing anyone who's hell-bent on seeing it as "bad" as actually good, we're not gonna meet eye-to-eye anyway), as if one couldn't say anything positive about it, even if it was a fact.

which is not to say that what I'm saying is a fact. I'm always putting up disclaimers (on here and anywhere else) that my opinions are very subjective. that includes interpretation, and that includes what I value or not in a game, writing, anything. I've always said that I've long accepted that what I often find "good", others often find "bad", and that's okay, but what I don't like is the insinuation that people who genuinely believe something is good must admit that it is indeed bad when you can't force feelings. and yes I say feelings because I'm honest in admitting that these are very personal, very subjective. I dunno what business do people have with me having "bad taste" because I clearly don't mind them having "good taste", just that we will never mix, and oftentimes "good taste" havers will act condescending to me (oh man I don't know how many times people, in this [Tales in general] fandom or not, have lectured me about my own cultures and languages). good for you if you have your own opinions! and I really mean this.

it's hard to put it in words but how can I say something is bad when I do feel it's fine myself? and why must I be forced to think in a way that I don't agree with? that is my actual problem with people who keep saying "Z fans are just coping and lying to themselves and others about it being Good, Actually" (which people often do despite 1) the fans can actually elaborate what they love about it, 2) the fans don't owe anyone any explanation or justification), and it's honestly no one else's business that I'm "uncritical" or whatever. what influence do I have? I barely have any followers here tbh, most are just long-time friends. bannam definitely has long decided that Z is not the way to go judging by how they keep lifting Ar and putting down Z along the way too for some reason. I'm not convincing anyone who doesn't already have Z as their favorite game, because that's pointless. and again, even if people are willing to listen to me? that's... honestly I don't even know why it's my problem tbh?

but anyway tired of people continuing misconstruing what I'm saying lol. there's an honest observation of things seemingly being lost in translation and hard to explain when it largely resonates with a group of people and not with another, but if people want to take it personally when I don't really mean anyone then okay? (though my wording might have been too passive aggressive and I genuinely apologize for that, but really, this is not anything directed/personal) this includes the execution of the narrative btw (I admittedly have really unpopular opinions on writing, judging from how I've often genuinely liked things people, to put it simply, hate). and while we're at this: despite being a part of the group, I will never speak for the entire group (long-time friends can vouch for me), because even then, values are different between each individual. being aware or even understanding doesn't always mean agreeing. the game is polarizing even in Japan after all.

people like Z for the characters, ships, potential (even what they think of wasted potential), it's fine. I personally like it most for the bigger picture of themes and messaging (this includes, yes, the execution of it) and would like to bring up that hey, maybe what you think as objectively bad isn't actually objective. you still can think of it as bad, but other perspectives exist. I happen to like the way things are even before the devs themselves had confirmed that things were intended that way, which meant I had similar perspectives and understanding to what the devs had. a lot of people don't, and that's okay, but then you have people pointing out "this is undeniably objectively bad" even though in a way they are the intended experiences and for people who enjoy it that way, it can come off as condescending too.

okay I'm trailing off because it's been a long day but maybe at this point I should start embracing being an uncritical z fan, because at the end of the day, it really still is just a videogame to me, and I'm not delusional enough to think I have enough of an impact on anyone to change their mind about z. the point is not what actual opinions I (or anyone else) have on the z itself, the point is that please just let me be for having these opinions without people making it their problem that I have these opinions. because people definitely have and are still doing it, and they're doing it when I'm talking about z only and never other games (d2 was a bit controversial when it came out because well it was a sequel lol, yet me expressing my love for what d2 did "wrong" according to people who didn't quite like it doesn't invite uncalled response), and this doesn't happen to just me.

(and yeah I will admit that I will stop caring about others' opinions as well, again I was indeed being a bit passive-aggressive and I fully own up to that. genuinely sorry if people took offense with my wording.)

but anyway back to the usual agenda lol sorry this turned out really long and not coherent at all

[having-conniptions]

KinnPorsche ep 7 + Side Story Rewatch Rambles:

Idk why the Side Story isn't in the actual episode I think it's so important for the development of the relationships - both the VegasPorsche fuckery and the KinnPorsche softness are SO IMPORTANT

THIS IS THEIR FIRST TALK AFTER THE DRAMATIC GOODBYE KISS AND KINN TAKING A BULLET FOR PORSCHE

Aka this is where feelings are acted on AND EMBRACED instead of being pushed down right away AND without a dramatic, emotionally charged situation as the catalyst. Just soft, wholesome cuddling, hand-holding and hair-petting. No alcohol, drugs or adrenaline clouding their judgment. The conscious decision to be together like this - loving, caring, romantic. As a couple. THIS IS A BIG STEP FOR THEM I'M TELLING YA

Also the phone call between Porsche and Chay 🥺❤️❤️

Ok on to the actual episode

I know this is gonna be a good one

Idk how grenades work but certainly not Like That

Vegas wearing red I- 🥵

Oh god Vegas getting out his little torture briefcase

Pete's face says "he looks kinda good covered in blood"

I need that necklace Vegas is wearing

"Promise me, no matter what happens, you must return to me." ❤️❤️❤️ SEE WITHOUT THE SIDE STORY IT WOULD BE WEIRD TO SEE THEM ACTING LIKE A PROPER COUPLE NOW BECAUSE THERE WOULD BE NOTHING TO BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN "EMOTIONALLY CHARGED FAREWELL KISS" AND "WHOLESOME SOFT COUPLE BEHAVIOR"

Yes I am very passionate about this why do you ask

Vegas' face when Porsche doesn't show up alone lmao

VEGAS IN YET ANOTHER RED SHIRT MMMMM

The minor family residence is actually so pretty

Awww lil bit of Ta & Vegas interaction

Ta & Porsche awkwardness LMAO

VEGAS SIPPING RED WINE WHILE WEARING RED VELVET OH LORD HAVE MERCY

I think Chay's ringtone is the same as the alarm on my phone lol

Hahahaha the messy house is so relatable

Korn your apple metaphor is fucking stupid

Kim gifting Chay a guitar awww 😭❤️😭❤️

PROTECT CHAY AT ALL COSTS

Detective Kim back in action!! And he sees all the pictures on Chay's wall and the shirt and he actually finds it kinda endearing awwww

"Do you like anyone?" Real smooth, Kim.

THIS HURTS I K OW HOW IT'S GONNA END SO IT HURTS

Kinn is jealous and Porsche is ENJOYING IT

Oooooo Vegas spilling the tea 👀

Tay 🥺❤️❤️❤️

"Looking for something?" 👀

Balcony scene my beloved

"When you're done, return it to me. The gun... and yourself." 😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️

"I'm not just carrying one gun, you know" AND PORSCHE'S EYEBROW LMAOO

The way the sexy music just stops and Why Don't You Stay starts playing idk if I should laugh or cry

Idk if I'm a fan of the scene where Vegas speaks English for a long time - as much as I love Bible I feel like his voice sounds too soft and it makes his acting seem kinda flat (which I obviously can't judge when he's speaking Thai but in this scene I've kinda noticed it)

AGAIN I LOVE BIBLE AND I THINK HE'S INCREDIBLY TALENTED AND HARD-WORKING AND JUST OVERALL AMAZING, I just think he comes across as a little flat in some parts this scene (idk the lines feel like they should be delivered with more arrogance/confidence but that's just my opinion)

Vegas speaking Italian, now THAT'S hot

Porsche and Vegas have such good chemistry, such a shame Vegas is forcing it (though I don't think he's completely faking)

Pete as Kinn's spy keeping an eye on Vegas and Porsche is so good lol

I need the scene of Porsche dancing, drinking and smoking as a live wallpaper on my desktop please and thank you ❤️❤️❤️ idk what it is about that scene, it's so satisfying, aesthetically pleasing, attractive? Idk it's just great. The music really matches the vibe and Porsches dancing and the editing match the music I just love it

Especially that first shot where he empties his glass and the light hits his tits just right lmao

"Let's go outside" *takes him to the bathroom*

Porsche's triceps as he leans on the counter APOOOO ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US

JEALOUS KINN TO THE RESCUE

"DO YOU NOT SEE THE RING ON MY FINGER?" 🔥🔥🔥

I can't focus on them fighting I'm distracted by Apo's arms HOLY SHIT

"I shouldn't have loved a crappy guy like you" LOVE CONFESSION LOVE CONFESSION

This scene tho. THIS SCENE.

The way Kinn goes straight for Porsche's tit - same, babe

The lighting is so beautiful aaaa

The most unrealistic thing is that there is no mess whatsoever, no clean-up, nothing xD

But the hug??? Beautiful. <3

I guess in a way we have Vegas to thank for this huh?

[here2bbtstrash]

So this is how it started…..

And I REALLY was like, doing my homework with this chapter

And clearly couldn’t keep up with the deep analysis, chp 8 got better and better (as expected 🥹)and.. ok I’ll proceed to rant whatever thought is left on my MESSED UP BRAIN… ok they were bonding and taking care of eo meals SO AWKWARDLY??? Lmao like ok here’s some coffee and some gross sweet shit, idk eat it if y want idc *proceeds to drop it and walking away* also AB written on the cup my god you’re a fucking genius ily so much jajajajajjjjajajajajajaajj

And pls I love how she’s so confused about him and instead of unpack her thoughts with the BEST BSF JIMINIE MY BELOVED she’s like “ok imma go fuck him,yeah that’ll make everything more clear (no judging her tho like WHO WOULDNT ITS FUCKING MIN YOONGI)

“Is this a booty call�� I KNEW HE’D BE THE ONE TO SAY THAT pls he’s so annoying!!!! and hot!

And ofc… they’re bonding in the best way: ✨trauma✨ but seriously I loved the way they skipped unnecessary and cliché comfort words, just listening eo🥹💜 (and OMG the whiskey scene from the vliveeee I’m a psychic like jiminie lol)

The smooooth “want a tour?” just to end up in his bedroom 😏

But it was the first time they took their time 😭😭😭 the first time seeing eo naked😭😭 THEY FINALLY KISSED !!!!!! These bitches were starving!!

“You’re not the only one with great head game” 🆘🆘 helppp🚨police‼️🚨🚨 him making her squirrrttttt 😫🤯and I’m going to stop with the smut scenes bc if I’m going to say what I liked I might as well re-write the entire scene, so I’ll just say that I came the hardest ever and had to take some time bc I was FED yes in red bc I don’t know how to emphasize how good your smut is you’re a goddess 😫❤️‍🔥 and what is it with you and showers scenes??? Why/how are they so good and soft and hot at the same time 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

They being awkward the next few days? Mhmm nothing new GROW UP MORONS but also don’t?? I’m enjoying the drama what can I say🤭

AS FOR MY BABY STAR CANDY🥺THE AUDACITY😠 I’ll expect an apology with tears and lots of banana milks😤😤 come here baby I’ll cuddle you while playing with your piercings, run my hands trough your beautiful hair and show you the funniest tiktoks🥺💜🫂 I mean I understand her bc she’s so fucking confused and so fucking paranoid! But In love with her or not he’s just looking out for her, ffs why the fuck she went so hard on him😫😫 but I’ll trust the process🥺

Wheeeeewwwwww This didn’t feel like 15k at alllll it was so good that I read it in a heartbeat 😂 I think this is my fav chapter so far!! Idek how to end this review but just know that you blew my mind again and I love you M💜 you’re amazing!!!!!! Te amo bebé can’t wait to see what the future hold for these two 😍

sfkjdglsdfgjslg I APPRECIATE THE EFFORT 🥺 it's my fault that this chapter was a million years long and i decided to shove pivotal moments in every 2 seconds like i cannot IMAGINE anyone trying to comment on every single thing 🤣 we'd be here all day!!!!

NOT YOU ROASTING THEM FOR BONDING AWKWARDLY LMAOOOOOO listen 🥴 it's their first time being nice they don't know how to do this shit!!!! like uhhhhh here have some food guess i don't hate you all the time alright gotta go 🏃‍♀️ and yessss the AB on the cup!!!! i just had to stick a little callback in there (what am i talking about i stuck so many callbacks in this chapter for no reason sdkfjsldf)

she's such a dummy it's true 🤦‍♀️ your bestie who has been telling you this shit over and over is RIGHT THERE and instead you're???? gonna fuck your feelings away????? ma'am??????? and ofc yoongi had to call her out on it 😏

sdfkfhdgjd YOU ARE PSYCHIC THO !!! you literally sent me that ask the day i drafted that whiskey and trauma bonding scene and i was like 👀 SHE HAS NO IDEA..... 🤭

LMAO THEY RLY WERE STARVING.... my god...... fucking in a private place in a bed for once, can you even believe 😩 and LOL NOT THE HIGHEST FORM OF PRAISE 🙇‍♀️ i had sooooo much fun writing this smut and letting these two dummies finally be a SMIDGE intimate 🫠 also wow now that i think of it i have literally written 3 shower moments in a row lately am i ??? okay ???? what's going on with me

and of course the piss poor communication strikes again.... both between yoongi and reader and with 😭 baby goth 😭 dog dad 😭 didn't deserve this.....

i really really appreciate you calling out reader's state of mind and taking that into consideration tho 💜 i see a lot of people SUPER angry about how she handled it (which, FINE!!! she did it BAD! REAL BAD!) but at the same time - she is not doing well y'all 🤣 that adrenaline rush of thinking she's getting caught is REAL, and she's swimming in her own denial (and i would argue, so was jk 🤭) and a whole lot of hurt/weird yoongi feelings sooooo yes. she fucked up and went aggro on him 😭 but i promise they're gonna work it out ❤️‍🩹

omggggg the favorite chapter so far?!?!?! gahhhh what an honor 🙇‍♀️ i was super scared about posting bc 1. this chapter is fucking THICC lol and 2. it's got so much to it! so many changes!! shit is ramping UP!!!! so it means so much to know you really enjoyed it 🥺 eeeee i love you so much jaz i'm so glad you're enjoying this wild ride!!! GRAMMYS ARE NEXT HERE WE FUCKING GOOOOO 💜