#but like least entertaining rap fund in a while

[thottybrucewayne]

That jcole diss record aint up to snuff at all but tbh neither was Kendrick's. It just made me wanna go back and listen to Control :/

[yersina]

If you’re still looking for fic requests, how about Han Yoojin’s experience with his leg? How becoming newly disabled for the first time and having people look down on him not only because of his F class status, but also because he physically can’t work for that long before needing a break. His struggles to do simple things like walk to the bathroom, or running.

Then there’s the little things he does after regression because even with his leg healed he still operates with that mental pain. Leaning on things he’s next to, being amazed every time he runs after Peace, or a little sigh of relief every time he’s allowed to sit down.

(Sorry for being long winded, it’s just I always feel like canon could go more into Yoojin’s disability and how it affected him, because he had it for years and it definitely shaped how he currently interacts with the world.)

Yoojin sits in his hospital bed and thinks about his options for a long, long time.

See, this wouldn’t normally be an issue. Yoojin is very careful about budgeting his money: he makes sure to look up any existing information on the dungeons he’s planning on going into, he estimates how much he needs for the week or month or however long he’ll need to last until his next dungeon, he makes concessions for any armor or weapons that he’ll need to buy, he adds in whatever recovery items he’ll need afterwards, and he ensures that he meets that threshold while he’s in the dungeon.

And yet, here he is sitting on a hospital bed for the second time in as many months, almost too woozy from pain to properly sort through what his choices are now.

After all, no one pays a hunter that goes down at the beginning of a dungeon.

“Han Yoojin-nim,” a nurse greets, rapping politely on the door. After checking his IV and vitals, she nods to herself. “Your recovery is going as expected,” she says with a smile. Yoojin can’t bring himself to return it. “We usually try to operate as soon as possible, but it says on your records that you’re a hunter.”

“Yes.”

“We generally encourage hunters to purchase healing potions. They heal much more completely than conventional medicine now.”

Yoojin grits his teeth. He knows. “That’s… not an option for me right now,” he admits reluctantly. He bought a new weapon for this dungeon—he’s out of extra funds for at least a month or two.

There’s a downwards twist to her lips as she continues looking down at his file, one that tells Yoojin that she understands the situation that he’s in right now. “Surgery is the only other option then.”

It’s the answer that he expected, the conclusion that he’d come to a few moments before she’d walked into the room, but it’s still not what he wants to hear. “Fine,” he says, staring up at the ceiling. Surgery will be cheaper than a healing potion, even if the recovery period afterwards is much longer. He doesn’t have the money to support himself while he’s recovering. He’ll probably barely have enough to cover the surgery itself.

Fuck.

The nurse nods once perfunctorily. “We’ll schedule you for the surgery right away then. Have you already been briefed on all of the operations that we’ll need to do?”

“Yes.” And hadn’t that been a fun packet to read through. A comminuted break in his lower leg and a broken kneecap. Recovery might take anywhere from a few months to a year. Just his luck.

“If you need anything, you can always hit the call button.” She points to the remote on the bed next to his arm.

“Thank you,” he says, mostly too tired to be any ruder, and watches her shadow leave the room.

After another moment, he slowly reaches up and balls his fists into his eyes, needing the pressure to keep him grounded. Fuck. Fuck.

Someone had left his cellphone on the bedside table, and he can feel its presence mocking him even with his eyes closed and hunched over on the hospital bed. He knows it’s there, and he knows what he has to do. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t even entertain it as a possibility, but he’s genuinely not sure what he’s going to do once he’s out of the hospital.

Oh god, what is he going to do?

After his breathing calms down to a more reasonable tempo, he leaves one hand knuckling his eye ridge and uses the other to fumble for his phone. His thumb pauses over a contact that he hasn’t used in a long, long time.

He taps the contact.

The line rings for much longer than he expects it to. Not that that’s surprising anymore. The line connects. “Hyung, I told you to stop contacting me.”

Ah, the voice that he’s so missed hearing.

“Yoohyun,” he says. He wonders what he must sound like to Yoohyun. He wonders if Yoohyun can even hear the nuance in it anymore. “I need your help.”

The pause that comes is painfully long. Yoojin works on unraveling the hem of his hospital-issued blanket. “What happened?”

Yoojin takes a deep breath. “I was in a dungeon—”

“Didn’t I tell you to stop going into dungeons?” Yoohyun interrupts sharply.

Yoojin glares at the opposite wall. If Yoohyun just listened— “Regardless of whether you did, it’s not any of your business anymore.”

“Doesn’t it become my business when you call me to ask for help?”

This was a mistake. “Never mind,” Yoojin bites out, resigning himself to finding some other avenue of procuring money. He can try taking out a loan at the bank. If nothing else, he’s sure that there are people out there willing to lend to someone dripping with the sheer amount of desperation that Yoojin is.

He hangs up without waiting for any other acknowledgement from Yoohyun and ignores the one attempt at a call back afterwards.

-

Seok Simyeong unfortunately finds him a few hours after his operation. “Han Yoojin-ssi,” he says, like the name leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

Yoojin huffs as much of a laugh as he’s able to. The painkillers make him feel much better, but he’s also so tired. “Seok Simyeong-ssi,” he greets. It’s perhaps the most polite he’s ever been to the man, and it shows in Seok Simyeong’s expression. “Why are you here?”

“The guild leader told me that you called him recently,” he says, still lingering unpleasantly at the entrance of Yoojin’s room. Yoojin hopes that he gets chastised by a nurse for doing so. “I came to find out what you wanted.” And make sure you don’t bother him again goes unsaid.

Yoojin wheezes out another laugh and turns his head towards the window. Maybe if Seok Simyeong had showed up a day or even a few hours ago… Well, there’s no use in dwelling on ‘what if’s. “My surgery went smoothly,” he says, raising an arm as if to say ‘you see?’ “If Yoohyunnie wants to give me a few hundred for the next few months so I can eat, that would be good.” He’s not even being sarcastic. “Maybe throw in another hundred for delivery fees.”

Seok Simyeong presses his lips together like he’s trying to hide a frown. Yoojin wants to tell him that he ought to work on hiding his annoyance better, but that’s not really his problem, is it? “I’ll let him know,” he says stiffly. And then, just like that, he leaves.

Yoojin gives a mental shrug. Well, if he got what he came here for.

Sometime during his physical therapy in the weeks afterwards, Yoojin decides to wander over to the financial administration department of the hospital and finds out that his bill has been transferred to a different party and that any of his out-of-pocket costs will be covered. Yoojin looks down at the paperwork and can’t suppress a laugh.

So, good enough to pay for his hospital costs but not good enough to come and help his hyung with recovery, huh?

-

Recovery takes forever.

Yoojin hates every single second of it. Each moment that he spends languishing in boredom and pain is another moment he feels himself getting weaker and another notch on his anxiety towards going back to dungeoning. He has enough for now to keep himself afloat in relative comfort, but sooner or later he’ll have to return to being a working hunter, and there’s nothing that he dreads more.

Some days, he almost wishes that the pain never stops.

-

“Hey, Yoojin-ssi,” Kim Minchul booms, clapping a heavy hand to Yoojin’s shoulder enthusiastically. Yoojin hisses a curse when his knee buckles under the weight, enough that he stumbles over the even ground outside the dungeon gate. “Whoa, there! Still getting your feet back under you?”

Yoojin gives him a weak smile. There’s no furtive way to rub his knee to ease the ache, so he just leaves it, even though the pain is almost driving him to distraction. His doctor technically hasn’t cleared him for heavy physical activity yet (which, on a scale of fitness, probably lies somewhere below dungeoning), but Yoojin can’t wait any longer. “Not enough to keep me away.”

Kim Minchul beams. “That’s the spirit!” He gives Yoojin another painful slap on the back and wanders off to talk to the other party members.

Kim Minchul is one of the good ones, Yoojin thinks, wobbling over to the nearest chair-height surface and sitting down. It’s why Yoojin chose him as the leader of his first foray back into a dungeon. Yoojin needs someone who won’t mind picking up his slack—or, even if he did mind, be polite enough to not point it out.

The dungeon goes… fine. Painfully. Yoojin is usually flexible enough to switch between the watch group, which checks for any stragglers that the initial dungeon clearing team might have missed, and the mining group, which collects any items that might be valuable, but this time he’s firmly assigned to the mining team. Even that’s harder than it should be, and Yoojin begins lagging behind after an hour of work.

Three hours in, and he feels a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, Yoojin-ssi,” Kim Minchul says with a frown. “I think you should stop.”

Yoojin is drenched in sweat and is wishing desperately for some painkillers, but he can’t stop here. “I can keep going. We still have over half of the job left.” No matter how slow he’s going, it still has to be better than being down a person.

“We do, but I’m worried about your health.” Kim Minchul looks him up and down critically before nodding decisively. “I’m sending you home.” He must spot the look on Yoojin’s face because he adds, “I’ll make sure to send you your share, okay? Just go home and rest.”

So Yoojin goes.

A week later, he gets a check in the mail. It’s definitely less than he should’ve gotten for completing a job of that size, but it’s more than fair for the amount of work that he did. Fair, but still not enough.

Yoojin manages to stick it out for another month before he’s back to dungeoning, this time with someone who’s less likely to step in out of compassion.

-

Yoojin’s leg heals, eventually.

Yoojin’s knee does not.

“Post-traumatic arthritis,” his doctor explains after Yoojin finally gives in and schedules an appointment. “It’s not uncommon after knee injuries. It seems like you have a relatively mild case, thankfully. Try to keep your movement to a comfortable level, and come in again if the pain gets worse.”

And Yoojin tries, he really does. The idea of chronic pain for the rest of his life terrifies him whenever he stops to think about the possibility, and he wants to avoid it if at all possible.

He starts to learn his tells, the way his knee is sometimes stiffer than usual in the morning, or is more prone to buckling under his weight, or pops uncomfortably if he sits or walks for too long. It’s a slow, uncomfortable process, relearning his body like this, but he doesn’t have any other option other than to live with it, so he does.

It gentles, eventually, or maybe it becomes so familiar that it fades to the back of his mind. He learns to budget around his lower income, preferring to err on the side of whole and healthy than richer but debilitated. It sits between his shoulder blades like an itch, the idea that he’s not doing enough, but he grows used to the habit of letting his body decide what’s enough instead of his mind, and he tentatively decides that he’s healthier for it.

-

And then Yoohyun fucking goes and dies for him.

What the fuck.

-

The fact that he literally went back in time doesn’t really sink in until Yoojin’s second day back in the past, when he wakes up and shuffles to the bathroom, and doesn’t get an ache in his knee from standing in the shower.

Even then, he brushes it off as the start to a good day until it’s nearing bed time and he realizes that his knee hasn’t so much as twinged the entire day. Oh, right, he thinks faintly, hand clasped over the knee that fractures three years from now. That hasn’t happened yet.

Still, that moment of enlightenment isn’t enough to break years worth of habits. Yoohyun looks at him concernedly when he chooses to sit instead of stand most of the time, but he never comments on it. Yerim calls him an old man for holding on to the railing whenever they have to go up a flight of stairs. The first time that Yoojin goes for an entire day training (playing with) Peace, he’s genuinely shocked at the end from how good he feels. Tired, but bearable. Normal.

It takes no time at all to accumulate new injuries and wounds to make up for the ones that were washed away by time, but even after weeks and months, he never quite forgets this one that his body doesn’t bear anymore.

[mystlnewsonline]

WeedGenics $60 Million Cannabis Offering Fraud Shut Down by SEC

Washington D.C. (STL.News) The Securities and Exchange Commission obtained an emergency order to halt an alleged ongoing offering fraud and Ponzi-like scheme by Integrated National Resources Inc. (INR), which does business as WeedGenics, and its owners, Rolf Max Hirschmann and Patrick Earl Williams, who have raised more than $60 million from investors to expand their cannabis operations, but have instead used the majority of funds to make $16.2 million in Ponzi-like payments and to enrich themselves. According to the complaint, since at least June 2019, Hirschmann and Williams have promised investors they would use raised funds to expand WeedGenics facilities, which they guaranteed would produce up to 36 percent returns, but in reality, Hirschmann and Williams never owned or operated any facilities—it was all a sham.  The complaint alleges that when Hirschmann and Williams received investors' funds, they transferred the money through multiple accounts to enrich others and for personal use, such as entertainment, jewelry, luxury cars, and residential real estate.  The complaint further alleges that in an attempt to avoid detection, Hirschmann, acting as the face of the company, used the fake name Max Bergmann the entire time he communicated with investors, while Williams, as Vice President of the company, worked behind the scenes while spending investor funds on his more public career as a rap musician known as "BigRigBaby." "Rolf Hirschmann and Patrick Williams allegedly had no real company, no product, and no business, yet despite this, they promised investors everything and then delivered nothing," said Michele Wein Layne, Director of the SEC's Los Angeles Regional Office. "This action demonstrates that, despite the defendants' extensive efforts to avoid detection, the SEC has the ability to uncover fraud to protect investors." The court granted the SEC emergency relief against INR, Hirschmann, Williams, and several relief defendants, including a temporary restraining order, an order freezing their assets, and appointment of a temporary receiver over INR and the entity relief defendants.  A hearing is scheduled for June 2, 2023, to consider whether to issue a preliminary injunction and appoint a permanent receiver. The SEC's complaint charges the defendants with violating the antifraud provisions of the securities laws and seeks permanent injunctions, conduct-based injunctions, disgorgement with prejudgment interest, civil penalties, and officer and director bars.  The SEC also seeks disgorgement with prejudgment interest from the named relief defendants. The SEC's Office of Investor Education and Advocacy encourages investors to review the Investor Alert on Frauds Targeting Main Street Investors and to access the investor protection resources at Investor.gov. The SEC's investigation was conducted by Christopher A. Nowlin and Stephen Bucci and supervised by Finola H. Manvelian of the SEC's Los Angeles Regional Office.  The litigation will be led by Daniel S. Lim and supervised by Gary Y. Leung. Read the full article

[miraculousgemscc]

Not So Berry Extended

I was inspired to write out a few more generations for the Not So Berry Challenge! I’m currently playing it in my spare time as a Vampire Not so Berry (cause why not?) and i’m having a lot of fun playing it and watching others play through the challenge! If you’d like to see more of these or maybe another version of Not So Berry Extended but with more of the careers then please let me know!

NOTE: This hasn’t been play-tested! If whatever’s listed below is impossible to complete please let me know and i’ll make the needed changes!

Gen 11: Black

(Requires Snowy Escape, Get Famous, Parenthood)

Growing up, you always thought you had the perfect life: You had the dream house, the dream family. Until one day you found out that your mother/father/parent had a secret affair. This completely broke you and in order to cope with the news, you decided to become a rebel. I mean, don’t we all go through a rebellious phase in our lives? Your whole perspective on life went 360: you changed your sense of style, your personality, etc. all at once. At least you had the great outdoors giving you comfort during your “everlasting phase”! Your favorite season was Winter because you could ski/snowboard all day, everyday. And what about those dreams you had of becoming a famous skier/snowboarder? Well we can do that too!

Traits: Hot-Headed (give as a teenager), Active, Self-Assured

Aspiration: Extreme Sports Enthusiast

Career: Manuel Laborer, Ski/Snowboarding YouTuber (once you reach Level 10 of Ski/Snowboarding)

Rules:

Must enter “rebellious phase” either at the end of childhood or beginning of being a teenager (you don’t need PH for this, it’s just apart of storytelling) (this is when the black color of this gen. should occur)

Must get the Argumentative, Insensitive and Uncontrolled Emotions Character Value traits (PH)

Must max either the Skiing or Snowboarding skill (SE)

Must enter the Manuel Laborer job as a teenager and stay in that job

Once your able to create Snowboarding videos, you must make your money off of your videos only

Reach at least Rising Star of Celebrity level (GF)

B-Lister is preferred but since getting fame with Get Famous is hard as it is Rising Star is ok

Must move to Mt. Komorebi (SE)

Gen 12: Dark Academia

(requires Get to Work, Nifty Knitting) Your mother/father/parent was one of the most famous skier/snowboarders in Mt. Komorebi. She/He/They always encouraged you to spend your time outdoors and take in the fresh air. Yet, you preferred to spend your time indoors, curled up in bed with your tea and book in hand. You craved to enter the fictional worlds you’ve read in your books from a young age. When you entered high school, you found your love for the arts and decided that you’d become an artist. At least then you could bring the worlds you’ve read to life on a canvas! And why not have a little snack while we’re at it? You can just learn some new foods you can make through cooking books after all!

Traits: Bookworm, Creative, Art Lover

Aspiration: Painter Extraordinaire

Career: Stay-at-Home Painter, Painter career (⚠️Only if you get offered the job⚠️)

Rules:

Must complete the Painter Extraordinaire aspiration

Must max out Painting skill, Cooking or Gourmet Cooking skill and Photography skill (GTW)

Must make your money through your paintings only

if you get a call about joining the Painter career, you must accept

Must move into a “rundown” lot/apartment with only a kitchen, bathroom, and a bed (and maybe your books if you want but you can’t sell these for money)

your funds when you move out after moving into your house must be $60

(this will be enough for your painting and some extra money to spend elsewhere)

Must have a library in your house

Must have 3 kids (biological or adopted)

spouse must be employed as a Salaryperson and/or Business career (recommended if it’s game generated but you can give them either job yourself)

can only marry partner towards the end of adulthood

Must purchase Knitting Skill Book 1 from bookshelf (NK)

Gen 13: Pastel

(requires Nifty Knitting, Get To Work, Get Together) Your family was pretty stable for the most part. Sure, you may have had trouble paying the bills here and there but what mattered most is that your family was together. Even though you enjoyed your mother/father/parent’s love for Forrest Green, Rosy Brown and overall Earthy tones you felt like you needed a bit more color in your life. And by color, you mean bright and colorful. One day while going through your mother/father/parent’s library you discovered a book on knitting. Figuring your mother/father/parent spent all of their time cooking and painting anyways you decided to take the book and learn how to knit. Yet, knitting cute decor and beanies isn’t going to put food on the table and a roof over your head. Guess running your own business is going to have to wait. Oh yeah, you also have a weird obsession with the letter B...

Traits: Perfectionist, Cheerful, Childish

Aspiration: Lady/Lord of the Knits

Career: Barista (teen), Business (young adult), Business owner (adult)

Rules:

Must complete the Lady/Lord of the Knits aspiration

Must max out Knitting skill, reach required skills needed for jobs before quitting them (ex. If you need Level 3 of Charisma for the Business career but you’ve age up to an Adult, you must reach level 3 before quitting the job)

Must Donate to Charity at least once a week

Quit your career in Business and open your own business as an adult (GTW)

Must get 2/5 stars for your business

Must live in Windenburg and have your business in the Old Platz neighborhood (GT)

Must create a Knitting Club and meet your friends (GT) when you reach Level 3 of the Knitting skill

Can only have relationships with immediate family (siblings, parent(s), grandparent(s), aunts/uncles) until you create the club. Once you create the club you may make friends.

Must become good friends with club members and best friends with one of the members

Marry your partner from the Knitting Club

Must have their first and/or last name start with B (you can cheat the name if you want)

Gen 14: White (Requires Get Famous, Get Together, City Living) Living in Windenburg for most of your life, you always loved how the town was so inclusive to everything and everyone. You always found yourself vibing with the music and dancing whenever you had the chance. But you also had a passion for music, specifically rap. While browsing the internet one day you came across some videos about some kid with blue hair rapping with his friends and you immediately became obsessed. (yes, I just made a FNF reference) From that day on, you wanted to become a Triple Threat: a dancer, musician, and a producer! The world isn’t stopping anytime soon so you gotta act fast and get your dance on!

Traits: Dance Machine, Music Lover, Geek

Aspiration: Musical Genius

Career: Entertainer Rules:

Must max the Dancing skill, Media Production skill, and Guitar/Violin/Piano skill (your choosing) reach level 6 of Singing skill

Must complete the Entertainer career

Must be signed to a Record Label and release your music (GF)

Must marry someone named Keith and has the Proper trait (you may cheat the name only)

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner in high school but break up with them before becoming a Young Adult

must be Hot and Cold with High School love (negative friendship, positive romance)

Have Dance Battles with your friends at least once a week

Have at least 2 Enemies (you can have more if you wish) (this doesn’t include your High School love)

Gen 15: Navy Blue

(Requires Discover University, Eco Lifestyle, Parenthood) Growing up you tend to lean towards a more sophisticated lifestyle thanks to your father. With having good role models around you and supportive parents, you were able to pursue your dreams of becoming a lawyer. Helping those in need was one of your biggest goals in life. The world right now isn’t perfect and you strive to change the world for the better. Having been the smartest kid throughout your school career, you were given the chance to jump straight into the Law career. Although you were grateful for the opportunity, you decided to continue your studies and learn as much as you could before going into Law.

Traits: Proper, Ambitious, Genius

Aspiration: Academic

Career: Law

Rules:

Must complete the Law career

Become a Private Attorney

Must max out Research and Debate, reach level 5 Logic skill, reach level 8 Charisma skill

Must complete the Whiz Kid aspiration and Academic aspiration

Must attend college for the Law career (you may disable aging while you go to college if you want)

Must get an A in school (child and teen)

Must have the Responsible and Mediator Character Value traits

Must make your neighborhood a Green neighborhood (EL)

Attend volunteer events at least once a week (PH)

Never get married, only have 1 child

(can have boyfriend/girlfriend/partner)

Must move to Britechester when you start the Law career (you can live in Britechester while attending college if you want)

Gen 16: Phoenix

(Requires Vampire) You grew up wanting more from the world besides all of the “change the world” stuff your mother/father/parent kept blabbering on about. Instead of changing the world, you wanted a change of scenery. While roaming the world trying to find your new normal you discovered the world of Forgotten Hollow. There, you met your soulmate and later the person who would eventually turn you into a vampire. As crazy as it sounds, the minute you became a Young Adult you up and left your home in Britechester and moved to Forgotten Hollow. This you thought was it! You were finally free to be yourself! Until the dreaded accident.....

Traits: Loves the Outdoors, Romantic, Erratic

Aspiration: Master Vampire

Career: none

Rules:

Must purposely burn in the sun and die

Must have no kids

Must complete Master Vampire aspiration except the, “Survive for an Additional 20 Days as a Vampire” section (you must Die by Sunlight before this reaches the full 20 Days)

Must max Vampire Lore skill and Pipe Organ skill, reach level 5 Gardening skill

Have your own garden in Forgotten Hollow and make your money through your garden only

Must unlock the Thin Skinned weakness from Vampire levels

Must immediately move out as a Young Adult to Forgotten Hollow

your partner must be a Vampire and turn you into a Vampire

And that’s it! I hope you find this as interesting as I did! :D

If your wanting more ways to spice up your gameplay, I have a save file that i’ve been working on the past couple of years! You can find it here.

[gegenji]

A Minute Movement of Masks and Monsters

There was a bit of a sickening crick as Tsunene finally got up from her work and forcibly popped the stiffness out of her back. A sound that echoed a bit over-loud in the chamber she had been toiling in. A chamber that - while a few degrees less cramped than the musty cell she had been in not all that long ago - still felt a bit like a prison.

The reasoning for that was a bit complicated, of course, since it was technically different from those prior arrangements. She was... relatively free to come and go as she pleased, though she always had the strange suspicion whenever she did depart that some manner of eyes were on her at all times. And, as was promised, the facilities were decently well stocked for her purposes. Purposes that were at the behest of her strange benefactor, rather than her own desired goals.

And that was honestly the rub of the whole situation: she had wanted to make super-soldiers off of this strange and potentially profitable discovery she had all but been handed as an act of providence. She had planned to amass wealth and fame and power with her alchemical genius in deciphering the mystery and replicating its results. Not be stuck in relative obscurity, limited to trying to create the next big gimmick for the brutes of the Bloodsands to throw themselves at.

Though, to be fair, she argued with herself as she idly cracked each finger joint individually, this was still technically better than the alternatives. The idea of having a wealthy patron to fund her experiments and developments was not something she could so easily dismiss out of hand. And even being stuck doing this sort of... alchemical grunt-work was infinitely preferable to withering away in a Flames jail cell. Or, worse, having to fight it out on the Bloodsands like her former assistant D'lilac.

D'lilac who - thanks to Tsunene's gift, of course - was doing quite well on that front. An up-and-coming rising star of the gladiatorial world with a "special technique" that was "surprising, entertaining, and enticingly powerful." Or, at least, that's what all the posters about her liked to proclaim. Posters likely manufactured by that selfsame patron and benefactor.

While the alchemical genius herself was stuck huddling over beakers. Seeking to replicate some variation of the formula from sheer memory and experimentation to meet with the ever-rising standards her one successful test subject was setting. Which was certainly moving faster than Tsunene's progress. The lady Plainsfolk had managed some interesting results on the test beasts that had been provided to her, but given all the positive buzz the 'Legendary Leozaru' or whatever was getting... they didn't seem quite good enough.

It figured, Tsunene noted with an irritated sigh, that her troublesome assistant continued to make things more difficult for the lady Plainsfolk even in her successes.

All of this added up to just one thing: that it was definitely time to step away from the alchemical table and get some fresh air. Clear her head and indulge in what little freedoms she did have, comparatively. And perhaps in some of those delectable pastries from down in the markets. If she was going to be observed while out and about, she might as well be observed enjoying something sweet.

... Or that had been the plan, anyway. Tsunene had only made it halfway up the staircase that went from her alchemical workshop to the door when the latter creaked open and her way was figuratively and quite literally blocked by the hulking form of Swyrkhan. The Roegadyn wearing one of his apparently massive collection of similar-looking pinstripe vests. This one having the audacity of being a bright yellow - as if mocking the lady Lalafell with the color of the sunlight she was being denied at the moment.

And it got only more problematic from there, because the big lug wasn't alone. Moving in a dramatically sharp movement that Tsunene thought - or perhaps hoped - would've sent the lumbering behemoth tumbling over the railing to the floor below, Swyrkhan sidestepped to give way to the lady Lalafell's second guest.

None other than her ‘illustrious’ patron himself: "Master Hohoyahu."

As the name suggested, the man in question was a Lalafell like herself - Dunesfolk rather than Plainsfolk - and to stick to more... polite adjectives in order to describe him, Tsunene would likely go with "eccentric." After all, a man whose only constant was the black-and-white jester's mask on his face while everything else from clothing to hair to even eye color seemed to change at whim every time she saw him could hardly be considered "normal." And that was before one got caught in conversation with him. Something that Tsunene had a sinking feeling was an inevitability now.

"Ah, there's my masterful alchemist!" the masked Dunesfolk announced in a voice that somehow seemed to be even more bombastic than Swyrkhan's. And the Roe already seemed to speak as if he were on a stage rather than in a normal conversation. Hohoyahu paused only long enough for the echo in the chambers to begin to fade before he continued right on. "I do hope this sun has been most agreeable for your research!"

"'Twould be far more fortuitous if I was free to fetch myself some food," Tsunene grumbled quietly, deigning to not reveal that this was for sweets. And quietly hoping that presenting the need to eat in a more vague sense would allow her to escape. A hope that was quickly dashed.

"Now now now, sustenance can wait for just a minute or two, can it not?" Hohoyahu countered, waggling his finger - an action Swyrkhan mimicked, which only made the motion all the more irritating to Tsunene. They were like some sort of deranged buddy act. "After all, I have so graciously come to see what progress you have made for me! With D'lilac making such wonderful waves, the audience is ready and willing to see what else we can bring!"

"Progress plods, as per what I have perpetually presented in those superfluous reports I pen for you," the alchemist stated flatly. "Seeking to synthesize the solution from scratch without source material - let alone make modifications for your 'marketable monsters'  - is not an act I can accomplish with any sort of alacrity."

"Now now now!" came the counter, in the exact same cadence and pitch as before. "We both know you have quite the mind in there." He was in front of Tsunene in a quick flourish of a step that her eyes could only barely follow and... actively knocked on her head as if it was made of wood. "I'm sure you must have something to show for your work thus far!"

Tsunene stumbled back a couple steps, rubbing at the bruise she was absolutely sure was forming where her erratic patron had rapped on her skull. "I can present the potion I have prepared thus far, sussed using sanguine samples from your supposed celebrity," she relented, motioning stiffly back down the stairs. "But I offer no promises as to its potency. Instead, it has proved... problematic."

"Intriguing!" Hohoyahu stated with a sharp clap of his hands before motioning for her to proceed on ahead of him. "Let us go and take a look then, shall we? I'm absolutely certain that together we can solve whatever problems you're having!"

“... Delightful.”

“Indeed!”

A forcefully swallowed sigh, and Tsunene started her slow trek back down the stairs - her dreams of pastries on hold until she had sufficiently placated her patron. To hurry that process, she began her explanation once she heard Hohoyahu and his manservant following behind. Which wasn't too difficult, given the sharp clack of their shoes on the stone of the staircase. She wouldn'tve been surprised if they were wearing tap shoes or something - they seemed the sort.

"Given my former fellow's... feline features, I figured that the first flagship should be of similar stock," she explained matter-of-factually as she descended. "Her tincture turned her towards that... more primal state. So it stood that solutions sourced from her should show similar results..."

"And that's why you requested the couerl kitten!" Hohoyahu chimed in with another clap of his hands that neatly interrupted Tsunene's train of thought. "I knew there was a reason for that one."

"Impeccably deduced, sir. And lo, we provided as we said we would," Swyrkhan added with a grand spread of his hands. Or as much as he could without bashing one of them into the wall. "And many suns ago besides. So, Sunshine-" Tsunene frowned at the nickname. "-whatever happened to that illustrious little test subject?"

"Suns spent ensuring the subject wouldn't simply... succumb to an untested solution!" the lady Plainsfolk snapped, pausing on the bottom-most step and whirling around on the Roegadyn. She paused to collect herself - not willing to give either of them the satisfaction of seeing her flustered - and adjusted her glasses. "I am a professional, not a poisoner."

“So! No... catdavers, then,” Hohoyahu interjected, forcing Tsunene to swallow a groan this time as her patron made a dramatic bow for his horrendous wordplay.

“No... sir...” The sarcasm dripped despite her best attempts to restrain it, and she moved to a holding cell set in the wall. Well away from everything else, for good reason. “Not as such.”

A click, and Tsunene pulled open the door and motioned inside. Inviting them in. “She has a...” She groaned a little before continuing. “Stormy disposition. So step lightly.”

“There we go, Sunshine!” Swyrkhan applauded. “By the Twelve, we might even see a smile from you at some point!”

“Unlikely.”

Hohoyahu merely laughed behind his mask, and strode through the door without nary a care in the world. And then there was a brilliant flash as a bolt of lightning crackled out from the darkness of the cell, striking where the bombastic Lalafell stood.

Or where he had been standing. There was a blackened mark where he had been, but the Dunesfolk himself was mere ilms off to one side. And, for some inexplicable reason, in a pose.

Tsunene wasn’t quite sure which part of it assaulted her sensibilities more.

“My!” Hohoyahu gasped dramatically. “You certainly...”

Another bolt of lightning sidestepped, complete with new pose.

“Weren’t...”

And a third, with similar results as Hohoyahu twirled into a flourish on the third dodge.

“Kidding!”

As the eccentric Dunesfolk pressed further onward, Tsunene could only gape in disbelief before turning to the Roegadyn manservant who seemed completely unfazed by such antics. And only one word managed to escape her lips: “How?”

“Ah, but a true performer never reveals their secrets!” Swyrkhan countered, in a cadence that instantly identified the quote as something from Hohoyahu himself. Then, with a chuckle, the Roegadyn surprised her further by obliging with an actual answer. Of sorts. “Master Hohoyahu has always claimed to be able to see a couple steps ahead in the dance.”

“And such foresight somehow allows him to sidestep being struck by lightning!?”

“You created Miqo’te able to shapeshift into a beast,” Hohoyahu responded from a couple steps behind Tsunene, startling her with the suddenness. Whirling about gave her an even more audacious sight: a striped puffball was floating lazily and purring mere ilms above the masked Lalafell’s head. The static of the cloud-couerl kitten causing his hair to stand on end.

“I would’ve thought that brought with it a far more open mind,” he sighed grandly and shook his head, the action allowing some strands of hair to escape the static pull and drift back down into place. “Nevertheless, I rather like this one. Does she have a name?”

“... Subject C-1.”

“No no no!“ Hohoyahu countered with another waggle of his finger as the kitten made lazy circles around his head. “That will not do!“

He immediately pointed to Swyrkhan. “Dear, dear Swyr, you always seem to have a knack for names. If you would, please? Show her how it’s done.”

The Roegadyn folded his arms over his chest and let out a long, thoughtful sound. As if he were observing a grand painting in a museum. Stout fingers stroked a chiseled chin time and time again as the Sea Wolf pondered. And then, as if inspired by an aesthetically appropriate bolt from the blue...

“Mjeowlnir.”

“There we go!” Hohoyahu laughed with a clap of his hands, startling the newly named kitten - who sent out little sparks of lightning all over the place in her alarm. None of which hit the masked Lalafell, of course, but also fortunately did not travel far enough to strike the other two. Though Tsunene scampered back - and behind Swyrkhan to use him as a human shield - just in case.

“Well done, Swyr. A master of words, as always,” Hohoyahu continued, reaching up to scoop the floating fluffball into his arms. “Well, I think this delightful little prize is proof enough that you still have merit. I do look forward to what else you will create.” He started his way back up the stairs before pausing a couple steps up. “Preferably a little more monstrous next time, if you please.”

And then he continued his ascent, running his fingers through the frizzy floof of Mjeowlnir.

“Do make sure to take the Master’s suggestions to heart,” Swyrkhan added in an overly dramatic stage whisper, a hand over his mouth as if to direct the words only to Tsunene. “It is... in your best interests.”

With that enigmatic warning, the Sea Wolf followed after his patron - taking the steps three at a time to catch up to the smaller man - and leaving Tsunene still wondering what all had just happened. Though the few moments of almost deafening silence that followed after that bombastic duo had left didn’t help clear that question up any. Instead, it left the lady Lalafell wishing she was just dealing with D’lilac’s eccentricities again.

... and with a desire for something to drink to go along with that pastry.

[televisor-reviews]

Top 10 WORST Movies Of 2018!

As everyone is talking about their favorite and least favorite films of last year, I’d much rather take a look at what came out two years ago! This is what I do every New Year, get used to it. And keep in mind that I haven’t seen every film from 2018, so as bad as I’m sure Sherlock Gnomes and Pacific Rim: Uprising are, I haven’t gotten around to them. If you’d like a list of every film I have seen, I have them listed on my Letterboxd: https://drive.google.com/uc?id=1HnDnQ4ibO82ryM9lOCGgw1FZhVLdC4SZ

#10. Fifty Shades Freed On my 2015 list, I didn’t even bother putting Fifty Shades Of Grey on it because I thought it was absolutely hilarious! On my 2017 list, I placed Fifty Shades Darker at the very top for its lack of even the basics of what makes a decent flick, notably there being no real plot. So I guess I’m meeting this franchise in the middle by putting Fifty Shades Freed at the tenth spot for just how batshit this movie is. Shit kinda just happens randomly with little to no reason while also not being funny in the slightest. In fact, large segments of the film is kinda boring, particularly the sex scenes in which there are so many that by the 20th time, you’d just get used to it like a jump scare in Winchester. Really, the biggest reason this is only at #10 is because Fifty Shades Freed has Freed us all from this series, assuming that a film adaptation of Grey isn’t made. And that’s the greatest compliment I’ve ever given to one of these movies. #9. A Wrinkle In Time I once heard someone justify Disney’s live action remakes by saying they help fund their more unique film escapades like Nutcracker And The Four Realms (which barely didn’t make the list). The problem with that is that I don’t want those ether! And considering how Solo and The Rise Of Skywalker turned out, maybe Disney’s live action department should just stick with Marvel movies. Honestly, I don’t completely remember why I left the theater after seeing A Wrinkle In Time so angry, like legitimately pissed off. I remember the girl who looks like one of the Mean Girls being treated like a member of the Losers Club, how terrible the child acting was, how even worse the adult acting was, how annoying everybody who wasn’t Chris Pine was, and how that little kid was named Charles Wallace because the characters said it at least a million times! Considering how angry I am just writing about it, I’m guessing it was a combination of all of those elements being wrapped up with a pretentious bow. Honestly, A Wrinkle In Time was a humongous waste of my time. #8. Show Dogs It’s a bad sign when the movie starring Bojack Horseman yelling at Ludacris dog is only at #8 on my list. The big reason for that is because this is so terrible that I had to break down laughing at times. Not because Show Dogs is genuinely or ironically funny, it’s just so batshit insane that I had to laugh. Almost like a defense reflex: like if I wasn’t laughing, I’d end up jumping off the roof. The plot is crazy, the acting is crazy, the whole fucking idea is crazy! I’d like you to stop and imagine Will Arnett with the straightest face possible yelling at a dog voiced by Ludacris that nobody can actually hear in the middle of a very serious police station about the dog fucking up an undercover job and somehow not laughing your ass off. That is what it was like watching Show Dogs. You’re welcome. #7. Slender Man I think people really downgrade how good horror has been lately. I know that in a world of Insidious: The Last Key and Truth Or Dare, it’s easy to be pessimistic. And I think people also dismiss the greatness the internet has had on modern pop culture. Considering how bad things like Daphne And Velma and Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle are, I kinda get it. In reality, these tend to be the outliers among a lot of greatness, but after seeing Slender Man, I’m starting to think similarly. I was one of the only people who was actually excited about this movie because I’m young enough to remember a time when Slender Man: The Eight Pages was the scariest thing in the world and after seeing how well Hollywood treated the character in Beware The Slender Man, I was really hopeful. Little did I know that Madhouse Entertainment had one of the least interesting and least scary horror movies I’ve ever seen with boring characters, a monster that’s barely in the movie, and a script that’s closer to Rings than it is to its source material. I really hope this’ll go the way of Ouija and Annabelle and end up having a really good followup or else Slender Man will be a huge blot on the legitimacy of the internet. #6. Snake Outta Compton I’m gonna be straight with y’all, I have been doing a pretty bad job at keeping up with horror B-movies lately. I mean, I did watch The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time and Leprechaun Returns but those were mostly just mediocre, even within the context of the rest of their franchises. So when I saw the title Snake Outta Compton, I knew I had to watch it expecting something really stupid and funny as all hell. Instead I got a boring and uninteresting barely even an attempt at cinema. I really hated this film, it’s just such a boringly dull film where little to nothing ever happens and I hated every dumb second of it. The terrible rapping, the awful effects, the horrendous acting, everything in snake Outta Compton sucks and I hate it. #5. Norm Of The North: Keys To The Kingdom Remember that god awful polar bear movie starring Rob Schneider from a few years ago… yeah, they made four of those. Normal people would say the first Norm Of The North was the absolute bottom of the barrel, I say “No!… It’s Norm Of The North: Keys To The Kingdom,” and even more suicidal people would probably say it’s Norm Of The North: King Sized Adventure. If you thought the animation in the original was bad, you’ve seen nothing! This is so bad that I’m not even sure it should be considered animation! This is so bad that it makes Duck Duck Goose look like The Grinch! This is so bad that they couldn’t even get Rob Schneider back! The plot, it’s like this is one of those straight to DVD Disney sequels that were made up of episodes of conceled TV shows except why would anyone try to make Norm Of the FUCKING North into a TV show! But apparently it made money considering how (and I’ll repeat this again) there are four of these! Maybe the immense failure of Arctic Dogs will stop Entertainment Studios from making any more. #4. The Thinning: New World Order Speaking of sequels that’ll make the originals look like masterpieces, we’ve got Logan Paul’s magnum opus, coming straight outta that Japanese suicide forest. A film that tells you that a country made up of the smartest 95% of citizens are stupid enough to not catch on to the pretty obvious government plan going on in this universe. Even more so, apparently presidents to be are allowed to just make major laws that’ll arrest about 50% of the population before being sworn in as president. But even more so, I’m to believe that Logan Paul of all people is smart enough to escape these poorly conceived concentration camps. This is a key example of suspension of disbelief gone too far. I don’t believe for a second that this world actually could exist. And I want everyone reading this to remember The Thinning: New World Order after seeing what I put at number one that even liberals can make terrible movies too! #3. The 15:17 To Paris No shit, this is easily the worst movie I’ve ever seen in theaters. No joke, no sarcasm, the Clint Eastwood trainwreck that is The 15:17 To Paris is by far one of the worst movies of the decade… and it’s only at #3 on my bottom 10 of the year. Let me explain. Where the absolute bottom of the barrels of the year are total slogs that I wouldn’t be able to stand watching again, this is actually really fun to watch. Immediately after seeing it in theaters, I wanted to see it again just to make sure it wasn’t a fever dream. In every conversation I have, I recommend this movie because it has to be seen to be believed. Of all the films on this list, this is the only one I’d actually recommend to people. No other film has the balls to portray three normies with ADD talking as boringly as possible taking selfies in Venice for 30 minutes for no goddamn reason. In no other movie will you see a bunch of comedians try and do serious roles that they had no right being casted in. When I went back to school and brought this up with my film nerd friends, every one of them had a different story of watching this. My god, please watch The 15:17 To Paris so that we can convince Clint Eastwood into making The 15:18 To Paris. #2. Gotti Let me tell ya, Gotti is one of the wurst felms ya’ll evar see! Who in da hell convinced John Travolta that he culd do serious roles! But in all seriousness, this movie sucks. I’m not super familiar with the story of John Gotti, and by that I mean I’ve never even heard the name before seeing this film. And I’m pretty sure that to even get what’s going on in this, you’d have to see a 3 hour documentary on the guy beforehand or else you’d be incredibly confused the entire time because I know I was! Don’t even ask me what happens in Gotti because I have no clue. It goes all over the place with different characters doing different things at different points in time and eventually, I stopped paying attention! I do remember that there were about 20 characters named “John,” John Gotti only kills one guy though I’m pretty sure that as a mob boss he’d kill more, and I have no idea how this mafia makes money. Oh, and this convicted feline is apparently also Jesus Christ. I’ll tells yas, ya can live 100 yeers an neva see a moovy as bad as Gotti. Before we get to #1, let’s do some runners up!

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom I wanted so bad to put this on the list because as a pretty big Jurassic Park fan, I can fairly say that Fallen Kingdom is easily the worst film in the franchise. If only because of that dumb ass twist at the end with that kid I kinda forgot even existed. Or just for those annoying ass comedic reliefs that are consistently useless. Or just because on a base filmmaking level, this movie sucks. Hurricane Bianca: From Russia With Hate Listen, I’m openly and proudly bisexual, so I get how important it is to get good representation out there in the film industry. And I also get why a lot of the Ru Paul: Drag Race fandom has latched onto this series. But Jesus Christ guys, drag queens can do better and they deserve better. From Russia With Hate is definitely a step in the right direction with it being way more interesting and fun than the first Hurricane Bianca… but come on guys! These aren’t good movies! Just watch more Drag Race, it’s much better. The Happytime Murders Disney, please let Muppets Now be good! The puppetry artform deserves better than this garbage! The Happytime Murders is a movie in which half the jokes is that a puppet is jizzing a lot. Honestly, my biggest beef with this film is that it doesn’t even get to the heart of what people love about the Jim Henson style of puppetry, notably the fun. Look at most of the cast, they are very humanoid compared to Kermit The Frog or Fozzy Bear. This movie is, first and foremost, not fun. Bob Lazar: Area 51 And Flying Saucers This is my nomination for worst documentary of the year. It’s just annoying to me that this guy can get away with lying to so many people without any repercussions. In fact, he gets this whole documentary that’s basically sucking his dick the entire time! I went in expecting something along the lines of Behind The Curve, a doc that takes an even stance at looking at its crazy subject matter but in a respectful way. In reality, Area 51 And Flying Saucers isn’t even in the slightest being totally on Bob Lazar’s side without questioning his all knowing wisdom for a second and is n’t respectful in the slightest for the intelligence of its viewers! Fuck this doc! A Simple Favor This is my nomination for best worst movie of the year. A Simple Favor is a crazy film with a cast and crew taking it weirdly seriously for a comedy, all with super monotone voices. None of the actual jokes are genuinely funny but lots of them are ironically hilarious. Granted I was very high while watching this, but as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best state of mind to be in while watching it! And did I mention how nobody acts during this but rather just say their lines monotonely! Loved it! God’s Not Dead: A Light In Darkness This was the year Christian propaganda got boring. I was so excited when I went to see I Can Only Imagine in theaters as my first theatrical Christian film experience only to be totally disappointed when it turned out to be pretty dull. Even more so when, later on in the year, the newest installment in the world famous God’s Not Dead franchise, the same one that first brought upon this new age of Christian based filmmaking that’s brought me so much joy before, turned out to be similarly dull. There was a split moment when a character states, “Jesus Christ was the original social justice warrior,” when I was brought back to life with its own stupidity, but it turned out to be fleeting. Not outrageous enough to be put on the list, but too outrageous to be any good. So this is how God’s Not Dead ends: not with a bang, but with a whimper. The Meg And speaking of boring, The Meg has to be the most boring shark movie ever made. A film that feels like it lasts for days and in which no real stakes feel like are in play. This has got to be the most boring and dull and uninteresting and BORING movie of the year! And considering how boring of a year it was for film, that’s saying a goddamn lot! Mary Poppins Returns I feel like I went through an arc of my own while watching this. I went from, “this isn’t bad,” to, “okay, this is a little too much like the original,” to, “why the fuck am I watching this?” Mary Poppins Returns feels like one of the Disney live action remakes because it’s basically just a shittier version of the original with absolutely no good reason to exist let alone to watch, especially compared to said original. And the climax makes absolutely no sense with the logic of the film universe; she can literally fly! And by god, does this feel like anything but Mary Poppins. Blockers Listen, I get that this film is sex positive and that’s a really great thing and all the actors are really trying their best. But it is all in vain for this film with a really unfunny script and that’s kinda important for a comedy. Sometimes Blockers can get a chuckle out of me because of how over the top it can get at times but those are just outliers in a mostly mediocre movie that got built up too much because of how much positivity is in this. Proud Mary Proud Mary is the perfect example of a film in which just because someone can do it well, doesn’t mean everyone can. Ever since Quentin Tarantino has been making movies like Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill, throw back action films have been really cool to see. Then, all of a sudden, the director of London Has Fallen had to come around and remind everyone that they can’t all be winners. Mostly dull dialogue between characters I don’t care about waiting for the action that isn’t even all that good. I was really hopeful that Proud Mary would be fun, but it’s anything but. #1. The Trump Prophecy Listen, I get that when I say that a movie literally titled The Trump Prophecy is the worst film of the year, it comes off as if I’m making a big political statement but believe me, I am not. Politically, admittedly, I am pretty liberal but I’m not really a political dude. But I do know terrible filmmaking when I see it, and believe it or not, a film about a crazy firefighter who gets a vision in his sleep from a god orb that Donald Trump must be president might not be very good. In fact, fuck this cynical, piece of shit, taking advantage of conservatives, monotonely acted, with no love or passion put into it, goddamn movie! As much as I didn’t like any of the movies I’ve mentioned on this list, it’s clear someone, anyone, was passionate about making them. But considering how clearly the director never asked any of his actors to do a second take, no love is clearly put into this. How cynical, how shameless. As someone who does genuinely love the art of filmmaking and would adore the opportunity to make a relatively big budget movie myself, the fact that something as lifeless as The Trump Prophecy gets to be put into any theaters really pisses me off. Say what you want about The 15:17 To Paris, at least it had its heart in the right place. Say what you want about Gotti, at least John Travolta was obviously passionate about the project. This has nothing and is easily the most hatable film I’ve seen in years!

[howtohero]

#240 Villain Songs

We’ve already spoken about how supervillains love to monologue. For some of them, being able to monologue is 80% of their motivation for committing crimes in the first place. You see, supervillains tend to be outcasts and they rarely have people around to listen to them rant about things they don’t like or to marvel about how well-laid and intricate their plans are. (Especially since they keep killing their own henchmen. According to a study done by Professor Lucius Flay, in 2019 supervillains killed twice as many henchmen as they did superheroes.) Because they so rarely get a platform to just let loose and talk about whatever they want, some villains have started to significantly jazz up their monologues. And of course, once one villain goes above and beyond the average monologue, all the other villains in their social circle are going to step up their game as well, in order to keep up. This has led to the widespread adoption of the villain song. A villain song is no regular monologue. There are backup dancers, there are lights, there is very involved choreography. Sometimes, if you’re unlucky, there will be a rap. If you thought monologues were bad, you haven’t seen anything yet.

(Note: The subject of this entry is not villains who have been trapped in some kind of forced-musical scenario. These villains are just very dramatic, and quite frankly, I kind of see where they’re coming from. There are some grievances, some hatreds, that are so intense that they can only be properly expressed through grand musical number!)

While villain songs are no less drawn-out and time-wasting than regular monologues for the average superhero who is trapped it is at least slightly more entertaining. If your villain has any skill or sense of showmanship you could have the once in a lifetime experience of having a front row seat to a fabulous show that will only happen once. That’s pretty rad. Of course, if the bad guy has no actual performing skill, and if they haven’t shelled out for professional backup dancers and instead have just decided to dress up their henchmen in leotards and sequins, things can be very very bad for you. But superheroes are nothing if not resourceful, and villain songs actually provide you with a good many opportunities to save the day.

It pays to listen carefully to the lyrics of a villain song, because they will undoubtedly contain crucial information that you can use, once you’ve escaped, to foil the villain’s plan. When a villain monologues or rants and raves for hours on end, it can prove difficult to remember much if any of the villain’s actual plans or goals. But songs rhyme, songs have rhythm, songs are easy to remember. Plus, songs have a chorus, which will most likely contain the most important points or big ideas of this villain’s plan. Surely you can remember a chorus. Conversely, the need to be able to relay information in song tends to force supervillains to simplify their grandiose, and exhaustingly-complicated plan. If they can’t make it rhyme, and if they can’t fit into an approximately three-minute song (already a massive reprieve from the seventeen hour monologues about how soaps should not look like candies unless they are going to taste like candy that superheroes used to have to fit into their busy schedules) then it can’t be their evil plot of the day. 

Additionally, if the villain is serious about what they do (if they aren’t then you don’t really need to worry about them anyway) then their song will be accompanied by a lot of supervillainous pizzaz. There will be streamers, there will be a kick line, there might be a light show. It’s going to be a lot, and it’s going to be distracting. Which means a villain song is the perfect opportunity for you to escape captivity and stop the villain right then and there. If you read our recent entry on escapology, then you know that everything is a key, and that includes many of the props that can be found in a grand musical number. Mounds of glitter can be melted down (using laser vision, a pocket lighter, or a nearby torch that is being used for the musical number) and then sculpted and molded into a key. Stereo systems can be cannibalized and their innards used to make crude explosives. Even if you can’t reach anything outside of the cell or cage or death trap you’re being held in, you’re clever enough and informed enough to break out with whatever you’ve got inside the cage. (Remember folks, even your teeth can be used as keys in a pinch. And you’re innards are basically one big skeleton key.) The point is that your villain will be so focused on making sure they do their big Broadway-esque song and dance number perfectly so as not to completely embarrass themselves in front of you, their greatest enemy, that they won’t be paying much attention to you, their greatest enemy, escaping and foiling their schemes. (After much trial and error we have determined that the very best time to mount an escape during a villain song is right at the beginning, when they’re snapping dramatically with their back turned towards you. If you make any sort of noise during this part of the song they’ll get frustrated that you’ve thrown off their rhythm and take it from the top. This way you don’t have to be subjected to whatever horrible performance a villain who calls themselves The Worst Showman has in store for you and you don’t even have to worry about staying quiet during your escape.)

Sometimes a villain will sing not only about their evil plan, but about whatever tragic/hilarious reasons they have for pursuing such a plan in the first place. (”For you seeeeee, I was laughed out of seminaryyyyy/ All the priests thought me a dope, because I just could not stop eating soap”.) It pays to listen to these lyrics too, if you can understand why a villain is doing what they are doing, you may gain a better understanding on how to stop them. If you can get to the root of their childhood traumas and/or all of their perceived adulthood slights, and if those issues have a simple fix, then you can avert not only the crime these bad guys are about to commit, but all future crimes they would go on to commit as well. Wow! Who knew music could be so educational??

Another reason why villain songs are much better for superheroes than standard villain monologues is the colossal waste of resources they represent. In order to perform a villain song on par with all the other villains that are desperately trying to one up each other, a villain needs to spend thousands on props, personnel, and pyrotechnics that they’d normally put towards building soap-melting rays or perma-dirt, the “dirt that cannot be scrubbed off with soap and will one day put the entire soap industry out of business”. Sure, they might just rob a bank to accrue those funds, but bank robberies are very easy to stop. Especially since the banks started hiring their own superhuman security forces. Villain songs also take up a lot of time, they require choreography sessions, endless rehearsals, and lengthy vetting sessions to make sure none of the backup dancers are superheroes in disguise. (Don’t worry, if you’re thinking about going undercover this way, all you need to do is whip up a fake resume with places like “Cruelliard, the school of villainous arts” or the “Badway Dance Center” and put us down as a reference, as we’ve said before, we’ll back any of your outrageous lies.) All of this means they’re not spending times committing crimes or fine-tuning their evil plans. Anytime a supervillains is wasting money or time is good for you!

Supervillains are always striving to reach new heights of extreme drama. Where once they would simply talk a superhero’s ear off for hours or days or years (never forget the three year monologue of George the Cranky Immortal about how he was sick a tired of not qualifying for senior discounts and was therefore going to use a nifty machine he built to de-age old people.) now they’ll sing and dance until they feel they’ve gotten their point across. Which is usually before hours or days have past. Singing and dancing takes a lot out of you it turns out. This new practice has provided superheroes with entertainment, valuable information, and lots and lots and lots of saved time that they can spend with their families or actively improving the world. It’s an overall win for everyone in the world except for the supervillains, who have once again played themselves, like fools.

[excelvisibility-blog]

Are you ready for yet another amazing cruise?

New Post has been published on https://masscryptocurrency.com/?p=3942

Are you ready for yet another amazing cruise?

CoinsBank is proud to present the 3rd edition of the CoinsBank Blockchain Cruise that will be held from the 7th to 11th of September, 2018. The 4-day cruise out of Barcelona (Spain) and visiting Monaco (Monte Carlo) and Ibiza.

Just like the 2018 Asia Cruise, the Mediterranean cruise will bring together hundreds of industry professionals, renowned thought leaders, and blockchain enthusiasts from all over the world. The cruise will be a perfect opportunity to relax and at the same time learn about the latest trends in blockchain investing. The Blockchain Cruise is aimed at accelerating the growth of the blockchain community by facilitating the formation of meaningful relationships between its members. What’s better than having a one on one with a Bitcoin expert over some expensive champagne while looking at the endless waters of the Mediterranean? You guessed it; Nothing!

As Bloomberg commented:

“By the time their 1,020-foot-long ship pulled into Thailand on Wednesday, for an afternoon of bottomless drinks and crypto-focused talks on a sun-soaked private beach, Bitcoin had cratered to $ 10,000€!. But if anyone was fazed, they didn’t show it. The party rolled on as the sangria and Red Bull flowed, Bitcoin-themed rap music blared and drones filmed it all from above”

Sounds cool, but it’s not enough. So CoinsBank decided to be over heads and do this conference better.

The Ship and Venues

The cruise will be held in a state of the art 2500 capacity cruise ship that has everything you could ever want or need on a cruise ship. The entire cruise vessel reserved for the event only to ensure as many blockchain enthusiasts get the opportunity to enjoy this amazing adventure. The spacious rooms, gorgeous observation decks, indoor and outdoor swimming pools, magnificent food and entertainment options are designed to help you make the most of the cruise.

The Route

This is definitely the best part! The Mediterranean blockchain cruise shall depart from Barcelona to its first destination, Monte Carlo. Monte Carlo is one of the highlights of the cruise as it lets you experience the best of French and Italian cultures in the midst of pure luxury. The ship shall then head over to Ibiza for the whole day conference and crazy party at the paradise beach on this magnificent island. And at least, making the final trip back to beautiful Barcelona.

Each of these destinations is a world-class destination on its own and can be found in the Top 10 list of the best tourist destinations in the world. The cruise gives you the chance to experience the beauty of these places while listening to insightful cryptocurrencies discussions by industry leaders and experts.

The Speakers

Over 100 speakers with extensive knowledge about the world of crypto have been invited. The speakers consist of government representatives, blockchain advisers, top lawyers in the field, trading experts, investing and venture funds, powerful political figures, media representatives and bloggers.

Be ready to listen to top crypto experts, such as John McAfee, the former security software tycoon turned paid cryptocurrency hustler, Roger Ver, Bitcoin Cash CEO, Bobby Lee (Co-Founder of BTCC; Board Member of Bitcoin Foundation).

Also, you will see :

Travis Wright – Co host of The Bad Crypto Podcast

Tone Vays – Blockchain Consultant/Researcher/Derivatives Trader

Taavi Roivas – MP, Former Prime Minister of Estonia

Susan Poole – Founder of BlockBridge Advisory

Jack Tatar – Founder and CEO of GEM Research Solutions

Naeem Aslam – Columnist at Forbes

Giacomo Zucco – Director at BHB.Network

Bruce Porter – Chairman and CEO of GlobalBoos

You will learn more about matters like emerging cryptocurrencies and their effect on the leading cryptocurrencies, the latest trends in cryptocurrencies, expert predictions on the future of blockchain, tools and techniques of trading your digital assets, among other interesting blockchain topics. The speakers’ combination of experience and expertise will help the guests see the picture from many angles and maintain candid discussions.

Entertainment

Besides all talks, business and conferences, the ship and the program of the whole trip are fully packed with entertainment options for the guests. World-famous DJs, celebrities, great party at the Pool Deck, 24 hours open bar reception, show time, dinners and as the cherry on top – unforgettable party at the beautiful Ibiza beach.

The CoinsBank 2018 Mediterranean blockchain cruise is a must-attend for all blockchain professionals, thought leaders, or enthusiasts who love traveling and mingling with like-minded individuals from all around the world.

CoinsBank is happy to invite everyone for the CoinsBank Blockchain Cruise Mediterranean, September 7-11, 2018.

Learn more about the event program, tickets prices, accommodation, and book a ticket on the official website: https://coinsbank.com/cruise-europe

This is a sponsored press release and does not necessarily reflect the opinions or views held by any employees of NullTX. This is not investment, trading, or gambling advice. Always conduct your own independent research.

NullTX

[techcrunchappcom]

New Post has been published on http://techcrunchapp.com/global-citizen-highlights-miley-cyrus-covers-beatles-at-rose-bowl-dudamel-justin-bieber-hamilton-cast-watch-variety/

Global Citizen Highlights: Miley Cyrus Covers Beatles at Rose Bowl, Dudamel, Justin Bieber, ‘Hamilton’ Cast (Watch) - Variety

Broadcast on television and radio in 180-plus countries, and streamed globally across YouTube, Facebook and Twitter, Global Citizen’s “Global Goal: Unite for Our Future” — presented in two parts Saturday, as “The Summit” and “The Concert” — presented a plethora of musical performances while trumpeting $6.9 billion in funds raised leading up to the specials. The money was raised from governments, private sector entrepreneurs and foundations for funds dedicated to causes fighting racial, sexual and social injustice and the still-deadly coronavirus.

Hosted by a stoic Dwayne Johnson, “The Concert” featured performances from Usher, Miley Cyrus, Chloe x Halle, Christine and the Queens, Coldplay, J Balvin, Jennifer Hudson, Shakira, Yemi Alade and the pairing of Justin Bieber and Quavo. Lin-Manuel Miranda and members of the original “Hamilton” cast joined forces with Jimmy Fallon and the Roots, while J’Nai Bridges performed with Gustavo Dudamel, the Los Angeles Philharmonic and YOLA (Youth Orchestra Los Angeles). Sandwiched between the performance clips were appearances from Billy Porter, Charlize Theron, David Beckham, Forest Whitaker, Hugh Jackman, Ken Jeong, Kerry Washington, Naomi Campbell, Olivia Colman, Salma Hayek Pinault and more.

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The “Summit” portion of “Global Goal” mixed entertainment and hard policy with which to outline social justice initiatives in the wake of the murder of George Floyd, along with a new Access to COVID-19 Tools (ACT) Accelerator plan for developing and equitably allocating tests, treatments and vaccines to the people who need them. The globally broadcast performances of “The Concert” were more often than not socially distanced and recorded live showcases, with a breadth of live vision that was often breathtaking in scope and inventively staged and filmed.

After announcing that the “power of unity creates change,” Jennifer Hudson performed a spare and rousing take on Gladys Knight and the Pips’ classic “Where Peaceful Waters Flow,” while on a slow-moving boat on the Chicago River. With a guitarist and a percussionist behind her, Hudson — resplendent in a flowing, dolmen-sleeved, goddess gown that blew with the gentle breeze — started off a soft, low rasp, then opened up her full G#2-C6-A6 vocal range on the “take my hand, come walk with me awhile” chorus, all in seeming time to the river’s flow.

Miley Cyrus also wore something flowy, a one-shoulder, asymmetrical dress with a mermaid vibe, that swayed in the Pasadena breeze as she stood alone on the field of the Rose Bowl singing the Beatles’ “Help!” while standing on that title’s exclamation point, at the end of a giant succession of letters spelling out the song’s name that were spread across the field. To a twangy backing track with a country-ish lilt, Cyrus used her patented low growl, making a point that everyone needs aid, sometimes.

Starting off in close-up, bathed in the crimson hue of a deep red filter, Usher debuted his new, winnowing ballad, “I Cry.” As the camera pulled back and away from Usher’s face and his warble became pronounced and dramatic, we saw protesters carrying Black Lives Matters signs beside him also bathed in red, earthen tones.

Following in the footsteps of their “Tonight Show” bit where they use homemade instruments and toys for delightful cover versions with special guests, Fallon and the Roots did the same with the “Hamilton” principals on a clanging, mid-tempo take on “Helpless.” Cast member Philippa Soo took most of the lead with the rest of the cast harmonizing around her (save for Daveed Diggs, who played what looks like a glass of scotch with ice and a spoon for tinkling punctuation), at least until Lin-Manuel Miranda — wearing a Roots T-shirt — did his rap dedicated to being a man with a brain and an educated plan.

The simple and soulful “Intentions,” performed by Justin Bieber with guest rapper Quavo, was filmed in black and white in a socially distanced setting in a recording studio in Los Angeles. With its cap-wearing singer pensively at the piano, the repetitive ballad from the Biebs’ most recent album, “Changes,” seemed to stop time during the line “heart full of equity,” seemingly to take into effect the show’s quest for racial, sexual and social equality.

Live and alone from Paris’ historic, window-covered Grand Palais, Christine and the Queen’s Héloïse Adelaïde Letissier said that this is “not a time for silence,” before lunging into the galloping, emotive cabaret of “La Vita Nuova.” The open-sky space and its large ground area made it seem as if Letissier was leaping around a bullfight’s arena, as she bobbed, weaved and croon-cackled in the most theatrical, puffy-shouldered outfit of the night.

Also dressed theatrically were Chloe x Halle, decked out in tech-punk gear and sunglasses and performing a throbbing, Gaga-eseque “Rest of Your Life” beneath a green laser triangle.

After Coldplay (from London, with an airy “Paradise”) and J Balvin (from Medellin, with a cluttered “Que Calor & MI Gente”) relied heavily on happily psychedelic, animated backgrounds for their filmed bits, modernist mezzo-soprano opera singer J’Nai Bridges brought it all home with great warmth and the help of Gustavo Dudamel, the LA Philharmonic and that org’s youthful YOLA. Live and socially distanced from an empty Hollywood Bowl, a tall, stately Bridges made “Heaven” and “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands” into something both spiritually soaring and earthen, with a sense of inclusion in its third stanza: “She’s got the whole world in Her hands.”

[vbuckgenerator260amazinggam-blog]

Why is fortnite currency called v-bucks

Fortnite Account Dispenser With Skins

Around a year ago, Epic announced a scheme that would permit you to refund skins in Fortnite and all platforms. Provided that the 250 million registered accounts is up 50 million from the 200 million recorded at the end of 2018, that's a pretty healthier growth for barely 3 months. For comparison rival game Apex Legends hit 50 million players in its first month (between February and March) which means roughly 18 months just after it was released Fortnite's battle royale mode can nevertheless match a launches for growth.

There is mounting evidence that Fortnite mania has peaked which, in and of itself, ought to not come as massive shock. What would have been shocking, possibly even disconcerting, is if it had been able to sustain its popularity, which reached fanatical proportions following the release of a no cost "battle royale" version in 2018. Information for the highest earning games in the month of June 2019, released by Superdata, shows a substantial drop in Fortnite's income in relation to both its past functionality as well as its competitors.

Are you one particular of the lots of players of Epic's Fortnite : Battle Royal, but not also playing the Save The Planet mode? If so, there are a number of points you could be missing out on. Presently, 23% of players on the PS4 Network have Gunsmith trophy, which is an indicator that upwards of 77% of Fortnite players do not play Save the World, the paid element of the game. Right here are the top 5 causes you should be playing it suitable now.

Epic Games' Fortnite Battle Royale reintroduced its a lot anticipated 50 v 50” game mode right now, a new and improved version of the restricted-time massive group combat game kind that pits 50 actual human players against 50 opponents in a battle to see which group is left standing when the dust clears. Epic has created a few essential modifications this go about. Most noticeably, it now lets players know exactly where the final battleground is situated on the map and sends out each group on its own respective aircraft so you can loot, regroup, and prepare for a much more explosive final fight.

A single of the very first qualified eSports competitions utilizing Fortnite was the Fortnite Pro-Am occasion, held on June 12, 2018 throughout the Electronic Entertainment Expo 2018 , with three,000 in attendance. four This tournament was announced after the results of the March 2018 stream by Ninja exactly where he played alongside celebrities like Drake The event featuring 50 celebrities paired with 50 major streaming players competing for prize pool of US$three million to be given to winning teams' charities. 106 Ninja and his celebrity teammate Marshmello were the winners of this occasion. 107 Extra Pro-Am events had been held at E3 2019 in June 2019.

You will get a day-to-day quest every single day that's worth at least 50 V-Bucks, and requires varying amounts of time to complete. Most will take you a few missions to complete, but if you're clever and stack them up while ditching the hardest ones — you can swap out a single everyday quest per day — you can finish multiple quests at as soon as.

Lastly, after you have been functioning tough on earning these Fortnite V-Bucks, how can you devote them? Properly, very first of all, you can buy goods from the Fornite Battle-Royale store. The products here are altering all the time so, if there is not anything you want right here today, be certain to check tomorrow - it could possibly be there! You can also use your V-Bucks in Loot store to obtain Llamas.

Surely, Fortnite contains no exclusive gameplay systems, or ‘compulsion https://www.minds.com/esme2mu5/blog/how-much-is-fortnite-iphone-7-1031890051464192000 loops', that make it different to, or a lot more ‘addictive' than, other action video games. It really is a lot more that the game combines quite a few unique elements - nice visuals, great shooting mechanics, an interesting creating component, fun emotes, and lots of support and interest from YouTubers - into 1 package, which is free of charge to download.

3. Daily and weekly quests. If you login to your Fortnite account daily, you have an opportunity to participate in daily quests. Quests are offered in each the Battle Royal game and Save the World version. The award for completing everyday quests is anyplace from 50 to 100 Fortnite V-Bucks. The greatest Day-to-day Quests are: Husk Extermination, Everyday Destroy and Mission Specialist. There are also some minor ones.

If players treated the two modes as portion of the similar game and played each in earnest, this may possibly not be a issue. But there is clearly a divide among the two modes and how the players treat the other game mode. As a result we get PvP players outright dismissing the PvE mode as just a source for V-Bucks. Even then, there are these with so tiny interest that they'd rather just spend genuine-funds to acquire their desired skins than play Save the World.

Aside from the usual Fortnite account, modded accounts are also well known among players who are searching to get an account. There are three causes why you could possibly want a Fortnite modded account. Very first, a modded account will make your life easier, as you will have menus and other additions to the interface that will make your gameplay significantly much more convenient. Second, you will be able to adjust your characters skins, but only on your finish. It will not transform how other players see the modded account's toon, but who cares? It gives you a sense of variety when it comes to your character's visuals. Lastly, mods will give you distinct benefits in combat. With these mods, you can rack additional wins.

Lastly, one particular thing that should not be overlooked is how shareable Fortnite is, thanks to its quick-paced action, propensity for wild clutch wins and common mayhem. Even when they are not playing it, folks like watching other men and women play it. In March, Twitch streamer Tyler "Ninja" Blevins broke the platform's records for a non-esports occasion by attracting more than 600,000 viewers (the fact that he was playing with rap superstar Drake doubtless helped), while a tournament in which one hundred prime streamers battled it out attracted properly more than a million concurrent viewers on YouTube.

[bangtan-chats-and-memes]

So I'm making this post to talk about the good things that BigHit does in this time of lines and screen time feud. BigHit entertainment is one of the best and least restrictive companies I have come to know. Since BTS are their only artists, the amount of freedom and close knit management they get is amazing.

There is no dungeon that the boys can disappear into, and there is constantly new content for the fans. Sure there are some things that happen that we nor the boys like, but then they are dealt with. Yoongi complained about his scalp, and BigHit relented, allowing him to stay dark for the past couple of comebacks.

They also allow the boys to use expensive equipment write and produce their own music to release as non monetized mixtapes or song covers. They even fully funded the MVs given to both Yoongi and Nams for their mixtapes, and that is something they didn’t have to do.

The boys are given the best produced music videos, and are allowed to create cinematic masterpieces with a deepened meaning. They not censored in the types of lyrics that they write, despite how controversial in Korean culture.

Now this may seem trivial to you. All these small things are nothing compared to the injustice that the members face. How dare they give Jungkook all the lines and leave everyone else out in the cold! 2Seok was basically missing this entire comeback!

Ok I hear you, but at the same time, consider the fact that this is the first (and probably the last) time Hoseok gets few *cough cough none cough cough* individual lines in a song. Spring Day was a more vocal based song, so they decided that he should use his vocal talent to back Jungkook rather than add another rap verse. It makes sense to me, and it gives him the opportunity to show his vocal talent on stage if he and Jungkook harmonize live as well.

And then there is Jin. It seems that he always gets the short end of the stick. The amount of individual screen time he got was unfair yes, completely. He is officially a (debatably the) visual of the group, and if anything that should be the place he pops up the most. But at the same time, Not Today was more a dance video, and he and Nams are well, not the best dancers, so they wouldn't put them in the middle on all the dance shots.

Also look at the I Need U and Run comebacks, the entire story in the music videos clearly revolved around him and his character, something that the fans were quick to point out and appreciate. For those comebacks, he was in the center.

This is still not a justification, but simply a reason for why they might have chosen to edit the video like they did.

Next moving on to his line distribution. He notoriously along with V get the short end of the stick when it comes to lines. And I think it is simply because of the way the industry works.

You know how sometimes Jimin and Jungkook switch lines because Jimin is better at the high notes in the studio, but Jungkook hits them better live? The same thing goes for most line distributions. What voice works the best for the feeling they want to produce? Who can hold the notes the best on stage? Like I said before, Jin is not the best dancer, and their dances are HARD, so most of his time probably goes towards practicing the choreography rather than nailing his vocal stability on stage.

He objectively doesn't have the best or most stable voice in the group, as often times on live stages he is out of breath by the time his lines do come up, and that is completely understandable. It's the reason why so many (even the more experienced) artists lip sync to certain performances.

Dancing while singing is hard, and maybe it's just not for Jin. Maybe, just maybe, he decided himself that his voice was better suited for slower songs with less choreo so that he can really focus on nailing his vocal performance. I mean in the solo he got to produce himself he chose a more soft ballad song rather than a more hard hitting one like Jimin’s because that just suits his voice better, and he knows it.

That’s why he got a lot more lines in “Butterfly” a slower ballad with less complex dancing and softer vocals, right where Jin thrives, but not really the typical image BTS produces musically.

Once again this isn’t a justification, and more a reason why he might get fewer lines. It is true that the line distributions are unfair and I agree with that, but it’s also a question of the industry standards, and the fact that sometimes it might be the best solution to a shitty problem.

I know I'm probably going to get some flack for this one, but it's just something that needed to be said. Us fans really need to step back and appreciate not only the boys, but the company that helped make them.