#but my girl rebecca hall yoshida

[dottable]

so sad i didn't get to properly say goodbye to my fashion queen, rebecca hall yoshida ✨

if she were present in the season, paxton would have made more sensible decisions earlier

[infinite-wanders]

Never Have I Ever

... HAD A GIRL STAY OVER (Part II)

Part I - HERE

{Devi's Version}

Devi sat on the benches by the pool, waiting for Paxton to finish practice.

It's not like she had anywhere to be. Eleanor and Fabiola walked by her today with just disappointment in their eyes. She desperately wanted to talk to them. It had been a crazy few days.

Ben had tried to kiss her - twice. Paxton actually kissed her! And then she finds out her mom is trying to move her to India. She couldn't leave without mending their friendship and wondered how she would make it right.

It amused her that Ben Gross had really tried to kiss her twice, followed by concern that he did that when he was still dating Shira. Devi had enough confusion in her life to delve into that, so she accepted his awkward apology to her earlier at the lockers.

"Paxton! A new school record for butterfly! Keep this up and you are a shoe in for Stanford," called out Coach Noble.

She looked up from her phone to see Paxton flying through the the water, a calming sensation washing over her. Ben now a distant memory.

Paxton was grinning at her as he climbed out of the pool. Admiration filled Devi as she mirrored his smile.

"Didn't know you were one to show off," she teased as he approached her.

"Just had the urge to push myself harder today," Paxton smirked, his shoulders doing that playful shrug.

Her cheeks flushed. She was fighting the urge to kiss him right there.

"Cool cool cool. Well... I'm gonna go wait for you in the car. Later, skater," she replied lamely, as she walked towards the door.

. . .

As they drove towards his house, her anxiety increased as the reality that she, Devi Vishwakumar, was about to be living with her crush, who kissed her just the other day.

"So fun thing about my parents, they uh like to sing Christian songs before dinner," Paxton said sheepishly.

Shit, shit, shit, she thought. How had it not dawned on her that she was meeting Paxton's parents for the first time. This was all too much for Devi. She felt like she was about to pass out.

"Are you okay?" Paxton asked, his face now full of concern. "They won't like try convert you or anything."

"All good, I'm chill. Just need some air," she replied with a small smile.

Quickly winding the window down, Devi felt less light-headed as she breathed in the cool air. She hoped Paxton believed her white lie, rather than see the panic that was taking over.

. . .

"Devi!" grinned Rebecca, as they entered the kitchen. A huge weight lifted upon seeing his sister's welcoming smile.

"What's poppin'?" Devi nodded back with a smile.

"I got into fashion school! Thanks so much for your help," Rebecca replied, surprising her with a fierce hug.

"Congratulations, though I'm not surprised. You're clothes were amazing!"

"Devi, it's so nice to finally meet you," smiled Paxton's mom as she dried her hands on a kitchen towel. "Becca and Paxton only have good things to say about you."

Devi blushed at this information. "I think they're both great too, Mrs Hall-Yoshida. Thank you both for letting me stay. Can I help you get anything ready for dinner? It's the least I can do."

"Please, call us Kevin and June," Mr H-Y pipped up. "Paxton's friends are always welcome here. Dinner is almost ready so just relax and take a seat."

"Okay, sure," nodded Devi, wondering which seat to take at the table. Her silent question was answered as Paxton pulled out one of the end chairs with a small nod and smile.

Devi's mind raced. Of course they'd think we're just friends. We've only kissed once. It didn't mean he'd want to be my boyfriend, especially after how Mom bitched him out the next day. He just felt sorry for my homeless ass.

As lovely as dinner was with the Hall-Yoshidas, it left her with a small ache, as it reminded her of family dinners before her dad died.

Rebecca and Paxton's banter reminded conversations between her and her mom, while Paxton's parents played the peacemaker between them, just like her dad used to.

They were about to have dessert, when she felt something brush along her leg, making her jump. She couldn't believe Paxton was playing footsies at dinner. Her eyes widening as they made contact with him.

"You all good?" laughed Paxton.

"For sure."

"Hey there, Jack," chuckled Paxton, as he held up a cat with one eye. "Looks like he likes you, Devi."

"Oh damn, you weren't joking about your cat," Devi laughed while trying not to feel stupid for thinking Paxton would be flirting with her infront of his whole family.

"So you've heard about Paxton and the Nerf gun incident. Let tell you about the time Paxt--"

"Let's not, Mom! Hey, I forgot to tell you I set a new record at practice today," Paxton blurted out in an attempt to stop her sharing an embarrassing childhood story.

"That's awesome, Pax," grinned Kevin.

"We're so proud of you son, but remember if you don't get into college that is totally okay too," smiled June.

Devi saw Paxton's face change at her comment.

"Coach Noble said Paxton should be a shoe in for Stanford," she blurted in support.

"You don't think I can get into college?" Paxton questioned June at the same time.

"You know that's not what we meant honey. Like I told Ms Warner, we value kindness over achievement," she said gently.

Devi could see the tightness in his smile as he nodded defeatedly.

"My mom threatens me with bodily harm if I get anything below an A," Devi joked awkwardly, hoping to ease the tension.

They all looked at Devi for a moment, then started to laugh. She smiled sheepishly, as the mood lifted, giving Paxton as small shurg as he smiled at her gratefully.

. . .

It was close to midnight as Devi lay wide awake in Paxton's bed. How could she sleep knowing she was in Paxton's room. She tried to insist that she was fine to stay on his couch in the garage but he wouldn't have it.

Devi wondered what kinds of music he liked as she stared at a Glass Animals poster pinned above his bed.

The walls were painted a calming sky blue. She decided to give up on sleep, and sat back up to take in her surroundings.

A pile of text books sat on the corner desk, almost like they have never been opened. Photos of his family were perched above, and she couldn't help but smile. Her favourite was of him laughing with an elderly man, she assumed was his grandfather.

That proud feeling surged again at the sight of his many swimming trophies displayed across the room. Devi couldn't help but cringe at the memory of when she cut her leg on one in the garage. It was almost comical for her to think she was ready to have sex with Paxton back then.

Her phone vibrated, distracting her thoughts.

What r u doing?

Holy shit, Paxton was texting her. Her heart raced as she fumbled to reply.

Nothing.

U want company?

Before she could reply she heard a knock at the door.

To be continued...

[hopefulobjectmiracle]

The wilds and NHIE for the show asks

the wilds:

favorite male character:

i thought it was gonna be seth, but then they pulled /that/ twist on us...so i'm going to say kirin bc he really grew on me after that storyline. i'm excited to see him interact with my girls in s3!!

favorite female character:

fatin!! she started off fairly unlikable in the first couple eps, but she completely won me over in her episode and just got better and better throughout season 2. i love how she went from not wanting to be friends w/ any of the girls to becoming the de facto mom friend of the gang <3

also honorable mentions to dot and rachel!! i think rachel is the show’s most compelling character and dot is just a gem (as well as the only sane member of the group). 

least favorite character:

i would say seth, but he’s not actually a bad character...he’s just a horrible person who unfortunately has an extremely well-written and acted story. i guess my least favorite is scotty? by default because he was probably the only one of the boys that never really won me over. 

also i’m sorry even though she was so much better in s2 i still don’t love leah please don’t kill me

prettiest character:

fatin or shelby - they're both drop dead gorgeous!! oh, and marcus is pretty sexy too 😌

funniest character:

what if i unironically said gretchen hehe...she’s just so insane that it’s enjoyable and her antics made me laugh more than anyone else in s2. the scene where henry sings to her lives in my mind rent free at this point. 

favorite season:

i liked s2 more than most people did but s1 still owns my heart bc of all the focus on the girls and all of the development that they got, both separately and with each other. 

favorite episode:

1x05 (fatin’s episode). this ep had so much going for it - aside from giving us fatin’s backstory, we also got so many great moments with the girls at the pond, as well as the scene in which they save rachel from the mud. 

favorite romantic ship:

i’m not super invested in any of the romantic ships on the show, but i do enjoy shoni and i hope they get back together soon :) 

favorite family ship:

i’m going to cheat and say that i love the found family of the unsinkable eight seven 🥰 those girls have my heart!! 

favorite friend ship:

dot x fatin!! shoutout to @randomcanbian for reminding me how much i enjoy them together :))

worst ship:

i’ve seen seth x josh and i think that is absolutely horrible 🥴

-

never have i ever:

favorite male character:

ben gross, asshole know-it-all my beloved <3

favorite female character:

devi vishwakumar, my flawed messy grieving queen!! she might even be a top 5 character of all time - i just love her so much. 

least favorite character:

trent or eleanor. they both have their moments but overall trent annoys me and none of eleanor’s storylines interest me at all. 

prettiest character:

i think fabiola is seriously underrated in terms of how gorgeous she is. her season 2 looks in particular were 10/10!!

funniest character:

there are a lot of contenders for this one, but i have to give it to rebecca hall-yoshida. her brutally calling out paxton is hilarious and is everything to me. 

favorite season: 

i really enjoyed both seasons, but there’s something special about s1. what’s funny about my favorite s2 eps is that they all have a s1-like quality to them, whether they’re about the same set of characters or deal with similar subjects. there are a lot of great things about s2, but overall i think s1 was better written and had a tighter narrative, as well as more likable characters. 

favorite episode:

weirdly enough, it is also 1x05 for this show 😂 fabiola’s storyline is great and the ben and devi scenes are easily the highest quality interactions between them in the whole show. 

favorite romantic ship:

is this even a question? ofc it’s ben x devi!! their arc (especially in s1) hit all the right notes of what i want to see in the show, from their chemistry to their banter to their slowly developing friendship to the epic finale kiss. their s2 arc was also fascinating and i’m really excited to see what comes next for them. 

favorite family ship:

by far devi & nalini. such an incredible and complex mother-daughter duo with such great development. i also think they're pretty great comedy-wise. 

favorite friend ship:

despite not being a huge fan of eleanor, i do like the chaotic energy of eleanor, fabiola, and devi’s trio (especially in eps like 2x02 where they’re scheming). 

also, shoutout to ben and devi’s friendship!! even when they’re not dating, their dynamic is still so strong and so enjoyable. 

worst ship:

hmmmm....this isn’t the worst ship objectively (that would probably be something like ben and shira) but the ship i personally dislike most is devi and paxton. seeing them together just makes me so uncomfortable bc of maitreyi and darren’s age difference and i don’t particularly like their storyline either. here’s to a breakup in season 3!!

send me a show in my ask box!!

[emmanelson]

Chapter 3: Feelings and First Times

A little prequel that takes place during 2.01-2.02 when Devi is dating both Ben and Paxton. The first time they have sex, it isn’t in a friends-with-benefits relationship. It’s bordering on the brink of something real, something special, at least in Paxton’s retrospect.

tw: rated M for sexual content 

In the days that followed Devi deciding to date both Ben and Paxton, their relationship moved at a quicker pace than expected. Paxton meant what he said by wanting to make the time they still had together count, even if it would only be for a couple more weeks. So when Devi is invited to the Hall-Yoshida household that Friday night with the implicit instruction to stay over, she tells her mom she is sleeping over at Eleanor’s and is maybe even a little too eager to get there, the walk feels more like a sprint. They had tried taking the next step a few times, and then realized they wanted to live long enough to actually see each other, so doing it at the Vishwakumar residence was out of the question.

She isn’t expecting much, a pizza, maybe some video games in the garage and then she’d retire to Rebecca’s room and try to raid her closet unsuccessfully. But what she arrived at was a whole other story.

She was greeted at the door with a long, slow kiss and Paxton’s lit up face as he ushered her inside.

“We’ve gone on enough dates for me to get that it means one on one, so tonight it’s just us.” He was biting the inside of his cheek.

“Do you have protection?”

“Yeah I-Why, do you?” Leave it to Devi to be the first one to bring up sex. She did say that Paxton brought out her mega-horny side after all, and never thought she would actually get this close to having sex before being moved halfway around the world.

“Yeah, I kind of panicked and asked Kamala to buy me some at the drug store and drop it off a block away so my mom didn’t catch on.” For talking a big game, Devi knew next to nothing about sex. She only knew what she saw in tv shows, read about in weird Wattpad-fanfiction-turned-best-selling-novels, and researched on the internet. She had tried watching porn once but she clicked play when her airpod was off and you couldn’t pay her to relive that experience and the horror of her mom asking what she was doing.

“I kinda asked my parents to take Becca out for the night. I wanna show you something.” Paxton lightly took her head as they walked up the staircase towards his bedroom. Not the garage, not the couch, his room.

“If this is going to be one of the last weekends we have together, I wanted it to be special and shit.” She had been in Paxton’s room before, but had never seen it so clean, and was that the smell of fresh sheets? Upon taking in Devi’s widened gaze, he quickly backtracked and shook his head vigorously. “Not that we have to fool around or do anything that you don’t want to.”

Devi was shaking her head and stifling a laugh for a whole other reason.

“I just wanted you to have something that was something out of the stupid chick-flicks that Becca makes me watch. Something that you can think about while you’re in India and I’m stuck here. I had to use these dumb environmentally friendly light bulbs that my mom buys because the last time we had real candles, there was an incident with Trent and the house almost burned down.”

He had lit candles, or at least light bulbs in the shape of candles, ushered his family out of the house and seemed rather hesitant about asking for sex. She couldn’t believe this was her life right now. Her relationship with Paxton had always been somewhat based on physical attraction. When they first talked and she asked him for sex, to when they started dating and moved onto beyond chaste kisses and lingering touches over clothes to long makeout sessions and bruised lips and body parts.

If anything it only made her want him more and she eagerly hooked her arms around his neck. “This is perfect. More than perfect actually, you didn’t have to go through all the trouble, but I’m glad you did.”

Normally Devi was the one rambling and Paxton was the one initiating things between them, it was kind of a rush to be on the other side of things for a change.

“I want my first time to be with you, here, just like this.” She whispered against his mouth, watching as his lips curved upwards into a wide smile.

He took his time kissing her, familiarizing himself with her body, teasing things out in her that she figured laid dormant. He was moving so slow that Devi was getting frustrated as they fell back onto his bed.  

“I know I’m the virgin here, but doesn’t it usually move a lot quicker than this?” She was trying to unbutton his jeans, lift up his shirt to feel his abs, anything to speed things up but Paxton simply continued pushing his tongue past her lips and making her head spin.

A hand snaked under her shirt and Devi immediately moved to cover her breasts, insecurity surfacing at the worst time.

“What’s wrong?”

“I know I have small boobs and I’m not like Zoe or Shira levels of hotness. So if this isn’t, you know up to par with the sex you usually have, I understand.”

Paxton only furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Did she really not know how he felt about her?

“Not only are you beautiful on the outside, but you’re gorgeous on the inside, something that they...are lacking.”

His words always made her flush, and this time was no exception. “I like your body. Now can I continue to appreciate it the way it deserves?” He chuckled under his breath and with one hand, grabbed both of hers and pinned them above her head. Her eyes widened in surprise and anticipation, she bit down on her bottom lip and if things weren’t already well on their way, he would have muttered something about wanting to do very dirty things to her. Repeatedly.  

“If this is the first time, and quite possibly the last time we have to do this, you better believe that I am going to be taking my time with you.” He caught her lower lip with his teeth, slowing his movements which only made a whine emit from deep in her throat.

Paxton’s free hand moved between her legs and brushed her core through her underwear. Without breaking eye contact he moved her panties aside and inserted one finger into her, and then another.

The sudden pressure made Devi suck in a breath, no amount of YA novels or research could have prepared her for what it would actually feel like. Her whole body lit up, as if she was covered in gasoline and Paxton had lit a match, starting a fire that only seemed to spread.

“So tight.” His breath came out ragged, his jeans tightening against him. Paxton thought that guys thought about sex more than girls, and he hadn’t heard anything to the contrary until he met Devi. She had stared at him one too many times past the point of charming and made remarks about wanting to “climb him like a jungle gym.” Mostly through text to Fabiola and Eleanor that he may have happened to stumble upon when he used her phone to play Candy Crush.

In the days that followed their kiss in the park, Paxton wanted to nail his next history while Devi made it increasingly difficult to concentrate with all the short skirts she would wear, and don’t forget about the constant sexual innuendos she would make that went over his head because they had to do with whatever subject they were learning about.  

“Is this okay?” He asked, his eyes searching hers for any hint of hesitation. One word, and he would gladly stall his movements. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No, just go faster. I want more of you. All of you.”

This night was all about making her comfortable, making sure she was getting the most out of this, that her needs were met. A selfish part of him hoped that if he made a lasting impression, she wouldn’t come back from India with a smarter, hotter, boyfriend or worse, fiance. His fears only made his grip on her tighten and tilt her chin up so she was forced to meet his eyes.

“Tell me, in words or else I’ll just assume and that’s a really shitty thing to do.” He spoke slowly, deliberately as her eyes fixated on his chest.

“I want you inside of me.”

Paxton breathed out a sigh of relief, or was Devi breathing out her own? He withdrew his hand and her body instantly shivered at the loss of contact. Within the time it took for him to shake off his jeans, Devi had regained control of her hands and grabbed a fistful of his T-shirt into her hands, yanking it over his head in record time.  

“Do you want me to touch you?”

“Shh, this is about making you feel good.” He mumbled into her hair, dragging his lips towards her ear as she ground her hips into his. He took a condom out of his jeans pocket and rolled it on before positioning himself in between her legs.

He pushed into her slowly, the movements stilling as Devi dug her nails into his back in retaliation. She grimaced at the feeling, her body was tightly wound up and only when Paxton began to move his body at a quicker pace, did hers relax in response.

They laid in bed after, Devi’s legs felt like the jello and even if she had to be home in a few hours, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to walk without falling or at least looking like a klutz. “Is that a picture of Gigi Hadid on your ceiling?”

Now it was Paxton’s turn to almost flush to an unseemly red color.

“I’ve had that up there forever, just forgot to take it down that’s all.”

“Do you look at it when you, you know?”

“I was just inside you Vishwakumar, I think we’re as intimate as two people can be. You can say the word masturbate.”

“Well, do you?” She pressed, ignoring the way nerves once more fluttered against her stomach. “Do you ever think of me, when you touch yourself?”

“If only you knew.” He murmured against her neck, not wanting to give away just how many nights he spent relieving himself to the memory of their first kiss, or more recently, to their makeout sessions that didn’t just leave her hot and bothered, but him as well. “That was your first time right?”

“Is it that obvious? Should I just have had the word virgin written across my forehead?”

“I think it’s cool that you waited or whatever. Did what was right for you.”

“Why? What was your first time like?” Devi didn’t want to pry, or ask something too personal, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t curious.

“Um, I think I was 14.”

“14? As in like freshman year of high school?” That was one year younger than her current age, it made bile rise to her throat at the thought.

“Eighth grade. It was the summer before high school and the JV and Varsity swim teams invited us incoming freshmen to a party, to get to know each other and whatnot. It was chaperoned by this one guy’s sister, I think she was 21. Her name was Stacey or Stephanie, something with an S. She brought us all beer and acted cooler than any of our parents at the time.” Devi didn’t say anything, but silently nodded and urged him to continue.

“Anyway, one night like the first week of school, we all get wasted right? Some more than others I guess, because I woke up not remembering anything that happened or even how I got so intoxicated. I was mostly drinking Coke the entire night, with some rum here and there sure, but nothing too extreme. I passed out on the couch and when I woke up, she was on top of me, stroking my hair, touching me, and telling me to stay quiet so we didn’t wake anyone up.”

“I-Is that all?” Her eyes were wide, almost glassy, and Paxton instantly felt years older than her. Like she was too innocent to be hearing this and yet here he was, exposing her to it anyway. Exposing her to the harsh reality that he didn’t want her to know, yet she was already familiar with after what happened to her dad.

“She started whispering in my ear. Tell me how I seemed really mature for my age and how college boys are so rowdy and they didn’t listen to her like I did. I don’t even remember us having any kind of in-depth conversation.” His voice dropped to a low whisper. “She said that it wasn’t cool to go into high school as a virgin, especially if you were a guy. The other guys on the swim team would just turn it into some kind of contest to see who could get laid the fastest. She said I would have a leg up on all of them and be able to show off.”

A bitter chuckle passed through his lips. “Except, I didn’t feel superior or like a man or wanted, I just felt empty.”  

“Did you tell anyone?”

“Only Trent.”

Not wanting to sound rude, Devi bit her tongue and remained nonchalant. “Is Trent really the best person to be telling your secrets to?”

“He’s actually cool once you get to know him, okay? He told me that if I wanted to go to the cops and quote ‘make her a prison bitch’ unquote that he would back me up. He may act stoned 90% of the time, but he has a good heart. I trust him with my life.”

“Did um, did you ever see her again?” She asked patiently, as her fingers ran up and down the length of his torso.

“At that point, it didn’t matter. When I got back to school on Monday everyone had heard, turned me into the big man on campus and whatnot, whether I earned the title or not. I wish I had waited, you know? For my first time to be with someone that I really cared about.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I know I’ve been with other girls before and you know, I’m some ladies man or shit. But that’s all it was you know, just sex. It’s isn’t like that with you.”

“Well if it makes you feel any better, this was better than what I had in mind. It was better than any rom-com or YA novel.”

“This doesn’t mean nothing okay? It would never mean nothing, not with you.”

Devi immediately wanted to correct his use of a double negative, but she refrained. She was speechless, too raw, first from the sex they just had and then hearing Paxton’s story. She was touched that he felt comfortable sharing such a private event with her.

“Would you have done things different? Your first time I mean.” She asked quietly, finding her voice again after letting all the information she had just heard sink in.

“Well I definitely would have waited to do it when I was sober.”

“Everyone deserves a second change, a do-over. And you aren’t drunk or high or impaired in any way right now are you?”

“No.”

“So take your do-over.” Sure she didn’t handle her own trauma in the best manner, but she was surprisingly insistent in helping others overcome their own turmoil. Plus with her big brown eyes, Paxton felt like he was saying no to Bambi.

“Dev-”

“I want you to feel good.” His own words hung in the air between them uttered by her soft voice, only a silent nod of his head and Devi had pressed her lips against his and rolled them over so she was now flush against his chest. “We can go as painfully slow as you want.”

“So now you aren’t in a rush to jump me?” The warmth in his features returned, he seemed to have a genuine smile on his face and was raising an eyebrow at her in slightly amusement.

“Something tells me this won’t be the last time, we’ll get there.”

[peterpan-in-neverland]

Writing Masterpost

Anne With an E

Anne Shirley Cuthbert/Gilbert Blythe

Flashover (n.)

just think of the fun things we could do

we can follow the sparks (i’ll drive)

and the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Zuko/Katara

sur le thème du mouvement [les étoiles s'écroulent]

as if you were on fire from within/the moon lives in the lining of your skin

(though i handle the wood) i still worship the flame

Bridgerton (TV)

Anthony Bridgerton/Kathani “Kate” Sharma

Scabulous (Adj.)

Derry Girls (TV)

James Maguire/Erin Quinn

i could never understand you hating music to hold hands to

The Folk of the Air

Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar

in the night i am wild-eyed, and you got me now

Grishaverse

Shadow and Bone (TV)

Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa

either i’m careless or i want to get caught

like a heartbeat (drives you mad)

Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo

Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa

always surprised by what i do for love (some things i never expect)

in talking about loving men, my other suggests loving a knife

i could never define all that you are to me

the horizon tries but it’s just not as kind on the eyes

always pushing you away from me (but you come back with gravity)

this love left a permanent mark (this love is glowing in the dark)

Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo

Nikolai Lantsov/Zoya Nazyalensky

in the tongue and teeth of old

a dwindling mercurial high

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Amanda Rollins/Dominick “Sonny” Carisi Jr.

Too Close

looking down on these bright blue city lights

thinking, oh god, i’m in over my head

prohibition in curls

diplomat in politics of lonely

Ms. Marvel (TV 2022)

Bruno Carrelli/Kamala Khan

the only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart

Basorexia (n.)

NCIS

Ziva David/Anthony DiNozzo

and i know that i’ll lose but it’s not living (if it’s not with you)

two yellow tightropes, i’m making good time

Never Have I Ever

Devi Vishwakumar/Ben Gross

Never Have I Ever… Hooked Up With My Arch-Nemesis

Sonder (n.)

Agnosthesia (n.)

let there be damage ensued and tabloid news

Pâro (n.)

our coming of age has come and gone

tried to change the ending

rock n roll is here to stay

Worlds of Starlight

Metanoia (n.)

Morii (n.)

musings at 1:56 am

baby, you’re the end of june

everything’s growing in our garden, you don’t have to know that it’s haunted

that kind of luxe just ain’t for us (we crave a different kind of buzz)

no amount of freedom gets you clean (i still got you all over me)

i got you a present (i went downtown to get it)

Eleanor Wong/Paxton Hall-Yoshida

and that kind of love

don’t expect me to play fair

Ecstatic Shock (n.)

and why i’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words

baby be the class clown, i’ll be the beauty queen in tears

what must it be like to grow up that beautiful?

Devi Vishwakumar/Paxton Hall-Yoshida

tossing pennies in the pool

and all at once (you’re all i want)

November 19, 2020

Kamala Nandiwadal/Manish Kulkarni

(but tell me) did the wind sweep you off your feet?

December  31, 2020-January 1, 2021

Rebecca Hall-Yoshida/Original Male Character (Cameron)

Anemoia (n.)

June 18, 2018

Mohan Vishwakumar/Nalini Vishwakumar

October 22, 2001

Ben Gross/Aneesa Qureshi

October 27, 2020

Single Parents

Will Cooper/Angie D’Amato

Gently Buzzed and Briefly Stockholm Syndrome-d

Some Kind of Wonderful (1987)

Keith Nelson/Watts

(but i'm not just being blue) 'cause i have fallen, shape and color too

Stranger Things (TV 2016)

Chrissy Cunningham/Eddie Munson

makes me feel like i’m losing my mind

she’s so sweet with her get back stare

cover me with kisses (baby) cover me with love

might need a break from all the real life

little freak (you sit high atop the kitchen counter)

and romanticized the time i saw flowers in your hair

saw a wide smirk on your face (you knew the entire time)

10 Things I Hate About You

Kat Stratford/Patrick Verona

i can see he’s not in your good books (if he were i would burn my library)

[cannondisabledcharacters]

Accepted Characters 1/26/22

Vinyl Scratch (DJ Pon-3) from My Little Pony (Friendship is Magic cartoon only)

Hunter from The Owl House

Jonah Sharpe from Never Have I Ever

Principal Bump from The Owl House

Mama from Mama Zooms

Aneesa Qureshi from Never Have I Ever

Micha from Defying Doomsday (Five Thousand Squares)

Andre Barrington from The Brokenwood Mysteries

Kaye from Defying Doomsday (Five Thousand Squares)

Anna from Defying Doomsday (Portobello Blind)

Dad from The Binding of Isaac

Megan from Defying Doomsday (In the Sky with Diamonds)

Vera from Defying Doomsday (Given Sufficient Desperation)

Huber Graft from Phantom 2040

Holly from Defying Doomsday (Something in the Rain)

Iveta from Defying Doomsday (And the Rest of Us Wait)

Little Bear from Can Bears Ski?

Cindy Moon (Silk) from the Marvel universe

Joe from Sound of Metal

Ruben from Sound of Metal

Izzi from Christmas Ever After

Josh Nash from Hero Killer

Chloe from Run

Sage from Best Summer Ever

Engen from Hero Killer

Adelaide L. Belmont from The Doldrums

Ihwa from Hero Killer

Fizzle Pop Berrytwist (Tempest Shadow) from the My Little Pony series

Craig Hollis (Mr. Immortal) from the Marvel universe

River Tam from the Firefly series

Mad Rat from Mad Rat Dead

Rebecca Hall-Yoshida from Never Have I Ever

Doctor Isidore Latham from Chicago Med

Jerry Espenson from Boston Legal

Brigid Tenenbaum from the BioShock series

Blinkin from Robin Hood Men in Tights

Eli from Book of Eli

Oliver Tyler (Skip) from The Hunt For Red October

Lily Hoshikawa from Zombie Land Saga

Mojo Jojo from The PowerPuff Girls

Randolph Småfix from Flåklypa

Toshio Ogura/Yuuko from Starving Anonymous

Gudleik Knotten from Flåklypa

Goun Yang/Jyunhui Lee from One Home, Two Lives

Fine Forte from Black Arrow

Emanuel Desperado from Flåklypa

Kotonoha Nanase/Futaba Nanase/Mitsuba Nanase/Yotsuba Nanase/Itsuba Nanase/Mutsuha Nanase/Nanoha Nanase from Gun x Clover

Maki Kisaragi from W Change!!

Thale from Thale

Makoto Gettou/Hibiki/Fujiko/Mikiri from Change 123

Kozue Aoba/Saki Akasaka/Nanako Kanazawa/Chiyuri Midorikawa/Natsume Konno from Mahoraba

Zayn from The Hunt for the Holy Pearl

Lydia from The Hunt for the Holy Pearl

Kaere/Kaede Kimura from Sayonara Zetsubou-Sensei

Shogun from the Chaos series

Nagare Hisui from K Project

Hayate Yagami from the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha series

Amber from Genshin Impact

Miguel from the Saints Row series

Miss Nasri from Sleepless Domain

Ayda Aguefort from Dimension 20

Segawa Tsugumi from Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne

Gunnhild's relative from Ragnarok

Sofia Lee from Dimension 20

Pete Conlan from Dimension 20

William Seacaster (Old Bill) from Dimension 20

Ivan from Our Only May Amelia

Mingxing Guan (Starlight Spear) from Sleepless Domain

Jostein Kroksleiven from Flåklypa

Ram from Re Zero

Last of the pre new year characters

[a-lockman5]

Things were different now. {Devi x Paxton}

A/N: Whoop! My first attempt at writing Paxton/Devi. Requested! (eeee!) Canonically accurate. I did not proofread so if it sucks I’m sorry. IF I SUCK, I’M SORRY. 

Also checkout my masterlist! Please request more!

Warnings: Fluff/angst, (that’s it, I think?)

“Devi, hi!” her voice came over the receiver.

“Hey!” Devi chimed back. “How’d you get my number?”

“Paxton gave it to me, of course. I have good news; I was accepted to FIDM!”

Eleanor and Fabiola looked at Devi questioningly, but she just shook her head as she rose from the table and went outside. They were at Fabiola’s house studying for their chemistry test.

“That’s amazing, but of course you did! They’d be stupid not to accept you!”

“I’m so happy! We’re celebrating tonight and Dad told me to invite whoever I wanted.”

“Great! You’ve earned it, Becca.”

“Thanks! Do you think you can come?”

“What?”

“Come to dinner! I never could have made it this far without you. You have to celebrate with me!”

“Uhh…”

***

“Who was that? Your mom?” Eleanor asked.

“No, it was my friend Becca.”

“Paxton’s sister, Becca?” Fabiola asked incredulously. Devi had finally told her friends the details of the photoshoot the day Eleanor’s mom left. She’d explained how Paxton did not trust many people around his sister, and that Devi had met her only by circumstance. When Becca needed someone to save her photoshoot for her portfolio, Paxton had few people he felt he could call.

“She got accepted to the fashion program.”

“Yeah, but have you” –

“No, not once,” Devi cut Eleanor’s question off. “I haven’t talked to him since he blew me off after Ben’s party.”

She had not told her friends about the voicemail Paxton left her on her dad’s birthday. She hadn’t even told anyone Paxton kissed her. Things were different now though, weren’t they? After making amends with her mom and spreading her dad’s ashes, Devi found Ben asleep in Mr. Gross’s car. He was waiting for her… he stayed for her to make sure she was okay. She hadn’t considered Shira in that moment like she had the night of his birthday party. Devi had been so consumed by what must have seemed like a small gesture to Ben but was monumental to her.

She’d felt so abandoned by so many people during the last few weeks, but not Ben. Ben Gross. If you’d told Devi a month ago that she would kiss Ben Gross in his father’s car by the beach in Malibu, she’d have died of laughter. Things were different now though. Ben had been there for her, opened his home to her, brought her friends back to her, delivered her to what was probably the most important event of her life to date. If that wasn’t love, what else could it be?

After their moment in Malibu, Ben went straight to Shira to end their relationship. Reportedly, there was no love lost on Shira’s end. Ben did say she’d been surprised, but not particularly upset. After that, he and Devi were together. No real discussion – not that they’d needed one. Ben was texting her the next day, telling her the details of their first date. They’d gone to miniature golf, and then for pizza. Ben actually had the good humor to take her to the pizza parlor where he’d met TheRealPickleRick69. They’d shared a laugh and it was a perfectly pleasant evening.

She’d never had a boyfriend before. She had nothing to compare her first relationship to, but Ben was nice. He didn’t bicker with her in class the way they’d used to. He studied with her during lunch. He brought her gifts every so often. They’d talk at night before bed, but only texting. Her mother didn’t know they were dating, but instead thought they had struck a competitive friendship. It was better that way. They were allowed to spend more time together. Things were different now, but they were good.

“What’d she want?”

“She invited me over for dinner,” she told them as she picked at her fingernails.

“What did you say?” Fabiola asked. Devi didn’t respond, only continued to stare at her hands.

“Devi!” her friends exclaimed in unison.

“You can’t do that!”

“What would Ben say?”

“Listen,” Devi held her hand up, “Becca is my friend, and this is big! How would you guys feel if I blew you off after you got into” –

“Cal Arts”

“Berkeley”

“Exactly,” she nodded at each of her friends’ aspirations. “You guys taught me I need to be a better friend. That means supporting my friend while she goes after her dream!”

“Okay… but what are you going to tell Ben?”

***

“Devi?”

“Paxton, hi,” she tried to say casually.

“Hey, I didn’t” –

“Coyote girl!” Trent appeared in the doorway. “What is up? I haven’t seen you since that rich guy’s party.”

“You saw me in history yesterday, Trent.”

“Oh yeah, that was you!” he laughed. “What are you doing here?”

“She’s here for dinner,” Rebecca said from deeper inside the house. “I invited her.”

Paxton glanced over his shoulder before looking back at Devi. He frowned slightly and his tongue swept across his top lip as he gaze searched hers for a moment. “Yeah, of course, I should have guessed. Come on in, Vishwakumar.”

It reminded her of that party at Trent’s – the one that had ended in Paxton driving her to the hospital. He and Trent had been surprised to see her that night too, but Paxton was much happier to see her then. She stepped across the threshold as she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

*Hey, quiz me for geography?*

She had chosen not to say anything to Ben about dinner at Paxton’s. Not that she wouldn’t… she just didn’t beforehand. Things were so new and she didn’t want to start a fight over nothing. Because it would be over nothing. She was celebrating her friend, that was all. It didn’t need to be a big deal. Still, she pocketed her phone again after putting it on ‘do not disturb.’

“Thanks for coming!” Becca enveloped her friend in a hug. “I can’t believe I got in.”

“I can,” Devi said genuinely. “I’d kill to have your clothes in my closet!”

“If I remember correctly, you tried to steal some of her clothes,” Paxton grinned at them. Devi’s eyes snapped to his, and she didn’t know what to say so she just grinned back.

“So this is the Devi we’ve heard so much about!” she heard a man’s voice from the kitchen. When she turned, her eyes met the warm smile of a tall Japanese man and a shorter blond woman kind brown eyes. She saw the resemblance between them and Paxton immediately.

“Mr. and Mrs. Hall-Yoshida, it’s nice to meet you,” she smiled. “I brought some assorted chocolates, my mom would kill me if I didn’t.”

“Yes! I remember Paxton mentioning you are an excellent guest,” Mrs. Hall-Yoshida said, graciously taking Devi’s gift. Paxton’s ears turned pink at his mother’s words.

“Devi, come see my acceptance letter!” her friend pulled her out of the awkward encounter.

Devi read the letter aloud and watched as Becca beamed at her. “This is seriously so cool. I can’t wait to see your work on runways, in stores, you’re one boss woman, Becca.”

“Now, come on, everybody sit. It’s Becca’s favorite tonight.”

“Tacos!” she cried cheerfully.

“We have black beans or tofu if you’re vegetarian though,” Mr. Hall-Yoshida assured Devi.

“I’m supposed to be,” she nodded, “but I’m not always great at doing what I’m told.”

Paxton chuckled at his plate as Trent nodded next to him. “Yeah, this girl tried to wrestle a coyote! She does not follow any rules.”

“Right, my boy took you to the hospital that night, right? Isn’t that when you first met?”

“No, Devi came over before that. They were already hanging out.”

“Yeah, we had to partner up with Trent for a school project,” Paxton said, glaring at his sister. “We spent some time together then too.”

“And then of course, Becca’s photoshoot. The reason we’re all here,” Devi said trying to divert attention from her and Paxton’s… relationship? Friendship? Were they even friends at this point? Ben’s party, the night they kissed, was more than three weeks ago, and Devi never brought up his voicemail after she and Ben got together. They hardly looked at each anymore, even when they were in the same class.

“Devi, we always have fun when you’re here,” Becca told her. “You and Paxton should hangout here so I can see you more.”

Devi felt herself wince. She glanced at Paxton, who was busying himself with constructing a taco with a practiced stare. Did Becca really not know they weren’t hanging out? That would certainly explain why she let her walk right into this awkward evening.

“I don’t see why it has to be me and Paxton, Becca,” she tried to say with good humor. “You and I are the ones that have fun. We’ll just let Paxton keep hanging out with Trent. Who needs him, right?”

Everyone at the table laughed, except Paxton. Devi noticed he’d not looked up from his plate since getting his taco prepared. Was he actually hurt? He was Paxton Hall-Yoshida! He could have any girl he wanted, why was he being so weird?

“Yeah, dude, you don’t need the ladies when you’ve got me,” Trent elbowed his friend. “Mrs. H-Y, will you pass the tofu?”

“I didn’t know you were vegetarian, Trent,” Mrs. Hall-Yoshida replied, passing the tofu down the table still.

“I’m not, but my mom is, and I just have mad cravings for tofu!”

Devi couldn’t help but smile then, and it looked like neither could Paxton. Who knew Trent would be such a good buffer? So many times over the last couple months, Devi wished that Trent was not around and she could just talk to Paxton without having ‘Coyote Girl’ shouted in her face. She knew he meant well, Trent was a nice guy once you moved past his inability to read a room. Besides, it looked like that very same shortcoming would be what made this evening bearable.

“Actually, I will take the black beans too. Thank you for thinking of me.”

“Of course! Honestly, I did not know that many of those practicing Hinduism are vegetarian. My father is Shinto as I was raised. Paxton said that vegetarianism isn’t required in Hindu culture, but it is thought to be a form of body purification. Is that true?”

Devi looked at Paxton again, though he continued to avoid her gaze. When had he learned all that? Did she even tell him she was Hindu? Sure, they talked the day of Ganesh puja, but did she ever actually tell him she was a practicing Hindu? Maybe she did. She did have a tendency to ramble and lose track of her sentences. She finally tore her gaze from him to meet his father’s eye again. “Yes, generally speaking. In my mother’s house, it is expected. It’s not as common as it used to be, but traditionally the consumption of meat is considered sinful and we’re to have a responsibility to limit harm to other life forms – ya know, cows, chickens, goat. Plants are alive too, but my mom doesn’t take to that argument well.”

The table laughed again, and Devi felt herself start to relax. This wasn’t so bad. So she and Paxton kissed one time. Things didn’t have to be weird. She could still be friends with Rebecca and enjoy time in the Hall-Yoshida house. This was nice.

“So how are things with Gross?” She finally heard Paxton’s voice again.

Fuck.

“Uh..” Devi hesitated. She looked at Rebecca, who looked confused at her brother’s question, and then back at Paxton. His face was hard, smooth.. effortlessly cool. “They’re good, actually. I don’t know if you remember, but I got in a really big fight with my mom a few weeks ago. Ben was really there for me. I guess it made sense all along for us to end up together. I’m really happy.” She punctuated each word with an equally cool gaze at the boy she’d pined for for years.

She saw Paxton’s jaw set. “Good. Glad to hear it. You deserve it.”

Silence descended. Devi felt her anxiety spike. Why did he have to bring up Ben? And why did it feel like everyone knew how uncomfortable the situation became when he did it? Why was he trying to ruin dinner?

“Oh, Gross!” Trent said after what felt like an hour of silence. “I saved that dude’s life once! Man, you should have seen the crater on his face that day. Lucky I was there.”

Devi nodded at Trent slowly, not even able to begin to decipher what he was talking about. “Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.”

“You know where it is,” Paxton shot back, eyes on his plate again.

She didn’t respond. Instead she found herself shut in the bathroom with her back against the door as quickly as she could. A deep sigh escaped her as she pushed her hair out of her face. Maybe she should just go. This was a bad idea. She shouldn’t have come. You know what? No! she thought to herself. I am being a good friend to Becca. Paxton is the one who blew me off. If he’s mad about me being with Ben, then he should have thought of that before not speaking to me for a week.

Devi pulled her phone out of her pocket then and had several missed calls and text messages from Ben.  He wanted to know why she wasn’t answering. It didn’t take long for him to start spiraling. Had he said something to upset her at school today? Did she not need to study for geography? Was she with Fabiola and Eleanor? He thought they liked him, why wouldn’t they let her talk to him? Was she rethinking things with him? Devi rolled her eyes impulsively but felt guilty as soon as she realized. She typed him a quick reply before putting her phone away again.

*Mom took my phone away. I found it but I have to leave it here so I don’t get in bigger trouble. Talk to you tomorrow.*

After washing her hands, Devi returned to the table. Some of the tension seemed to dissipate in her absence, but she still consumed her meal quietly unless she was directly spoken to. It felt safer that way. Trent kept Becca and her parents in stitches, and it almost felt like Devi and Paxton weren’t even at the same table.

After dinner, Becca requested root beer floats for dessert, and was eagerly helping her father. Trent had needed to leave because he had to get his evening workout in. So Devi and Paxton were sat as far from each other as possible on the couch in the living room with the TV on. She was trying not to look at him but she couldn’t help notice his fingers tapping on his thigh. It took her straight back to riding in his car the night of Ben’s party. The night he kissed her – what, at the time, was the happiest moment of her life. Things were different now though. Right?

She looked to his face to find he was already looking back at her. He didn’t look as cold as he had during dinner. He looked vulnerable and there was an emotion in his eyes that she couldn’t pin point. She was going to ask if he was okay, but he spoke first.

“Can we go outside for a minute?”

She felt her eyes widen. “Uh yeah, sure. That’s cool,” she tried to sound aloof, but she failed. The corner of Paxton’s mouth kicked up in a smirk as he nodded briskly and stood.

As soon as the door was closed they both started speaking.

“Paxton, I’m sorry” –

“Look, Devi, I shouldn’t have” –

And then they stopped and looked at each other with what could only be described as matching stupid grins.

“I’ll start,” Paxton said reaching a hand out and grasping her shoulder gently, “but let’s sit down.”

She nodded, letting him guide her to the top step of the stoop where they’d sat together after Becca’s photoshoot. “Devi, I’m sorry. I’ve been a really shitty friend to you. I didn’t know how bad things were with your mom, but that doesn’t matter. I should have been there for you.”

“I should have told you about Ben. I didn’t mean to blow you off, but I didn’t know what to say. We hadn’t been talking, and so many things changed.” Did he flinch when she said that?

“You don’t need to do that. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. So we kissed one time, and now you have a boyfriend. If I wanted a piece of the Devi Vishwakumar, I should have taken it when I had the chance,” he winked.

“I didn’t think…” he grinned at her, much like he had when he found her kicking a locker over a month ago. “You’re joking again.”

“Let’s not let things get weird, okay?” he stood up, before offering her his hand. “At least not weirder than tonight has already been. We’re friends, right?”

“Right, why should things be weird?” She grabbed his hand and felt the electricity shoot through her. It was the same every time they touched. Sure in her mind, things didn’t need to be weird. She wasn’t sure her heart agreed.

Part 2 >>

[justaniche]

Never Have I Ever...been blatantly asked to have sex

So here it is, the first chapter of my NHIE rewrite posted on tumblr thank you @cupcakesandtv for letting me know that I actually could post this. I will start working on chapter 2 and will post it as soon as I can!

---

Paxton Hall-Yoshida: resident heartthrob, varsity swim team captain, and all-around nice and pretty chill guy. That’s what his fellow students at Sherman Oaks High think when they see him at least, but I mean come on, he’s definitely double-take worthy and that’s Paxton’s image, unbothered, athletic, and generally unproblematic. That's the issue with images, though, they solemnly capture the full picture.

“You’ve got to be kidding me” the exasperated groan heavy in Paxton’s voice, “they’re really gonna make me retake history?” The question was more for himself than, his best friend, Trent but a response came nonetheless.

“What?” The paper Paxton’s schedule was printed on was snatched out of his hands and Trent swiftly skimmed the page as the dots connected in his head, “Oh, the class from last year, I’m sorry bro that sucks.” He said as he casually handed the page back.

It’s the first day of the new school year at Sherman Oaks High School and the students are settling back into the swing of things. As per usual at this school, the student schedules are emailed to them weeks before school actually starts, but Paxton decided to not look at his until he got to school and that was coming back, rather quickly, to bite him in the ass. He and Trent were huddled at his locker catching up on the last 48 hours since they’ve spoken before heading to their, now apparently separate, classes.

These boys have never been the most studious; you could possibly call Trent willfully oblivious, the former often just letting everything fall as they may, insisting, to the dismay of Paxton, that things would be ‘fine’. With the buzz of anxiety that came with knowing he had to retake a class that was now full of people younger than him fading, Paxton was finally alert enough to realize that the formerly noisy hallways had fallen damn near silent.

“Shit dude, we’re late,” Paxton rolled his eyes. Trent laughed, grabbing his bag and shutting Paxton’s locker.

“Have fun with the youngins” Trent was already walking away with a wink before Paxton could retort back. Well, there goes the plan of attempting to sneak in relatively unseen. Taking a deep breath Paxton shifted into his more commonly known school persona, cool, calm, and drool-worthy while he made his way to class. As Paxton approached the door and heard the teacher beginning his lecture, he didn’t leave time for contemplating his regrettable circumstances. Paxton stepped through the door and made his way to the first seat in sight which was, being on par with the way the day was going, in the front row. Paxton had just gotten settled in his seat and faced the teacher when “Damn” sounded behind him. Paxton, along with the rest of the class, turned to directly behind him to face the girl residing in the seat. No one had time to comment as the teacher added to her remark and tacked it onto his lesson.

“-genocide is not 100. And systemic racism is not litty. As we travel through all of humanity’s most horrific atrocities, I want you to feel shooketh. Thank you. Trust'' as if the intro could not get worse, the teacher dabbed and then proceeded to stumble into the trash can placed beside his desk. Paxton slouched into his seat with a sharp breath intake and a slight cringe, he knew it was going to be a very long year.

~~~

With class finally over, students emptied the room and Paxton followed but stopped smoothly in the middle of the hallway; dropping his bag to tie his shoe and then continued to class.

~~~

The day droned by, only being briefly punctuated with excitement from Trent and persistent stares. When the bell rang signaling the end of the school day athletes and club kids alike made their way to their respective areas. Paxton found his way to the school pool for a much-needed outlet for his energy. Swimming, for Paxton, was like breathing. It came naturally and was a reprieve from everyday stresses. People stared yes, but it was not because of his objective attractiveness and more so because of his fluidity inside the water. In the water, Paxton moved one with it. It seemed as though the water acted as his guide instead of pushing against him. This coupled with the fact that the pool was where Paxton had felt the most comfortable and the most accepted. Yes, he was competing when he swam but it was never a chore; honestly, Paxton would spend all day, every day in the water if he could.

Practice ended, to much of the swimmers’ dismay, and soon after they were emptying the school into the night air, “Later man '' Paxton called to one of his teammates before bounding down the steps. He cut right to his car and reveled in the thought of finally getting home and back into the bed he’d been daydreaming about from the moment he left it, when a voice, calling his name from behind, stopped him in his tracks.

He pivoted on his toes to face, the girl from his history class? Confusion flooded his body as the girl, now introduced as Devi Vishwakumar, began to ramble and Paxton’s face contorted as his puzzlement started to show. Devi could see that Paxton was not connecting who she was to anyone he’d seen and sighed slightly before begrudgingly admitting,

“I was also paralyzed last year?”

Realization fell onto Paxton’s face but it was gone as soon as it appeared. Devi didn’t miss a beat before continuing,

“Oh, okay, great. You are familiar with that.” She took a breath, “So here’s the thing. I’m into you.” She scanned Paxton’s face for any indication that her words affected him, she did not find one and seemingly panicked because she recommenced, stating “Like, I could name every class you’ve had for the last two years.”

Paxton’s face smoothed, two beats passed, and he only blinked. Devi spat out, “But I won’t do that. And I know you’d never be my boyfriend, because you’re you and I’m me,” Paxton rocked on his feet. “-but I was wondering if you would ever consider…” she swallowed and stuttered through her embarrassment “h--having sex with me?”

Several moments of tense silence followed and Devi broke, the words tumbling from her mouth like a busted pipe. “Oh, my God. I’m such an idiot. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I just did that.” She was turned around, fleeing, at this point potentially to go hide in her room, never to come out again when Paxton spoke up.

“Yeah. Okay.”

“What?” Devi could not believe her ears

“Just sex, right?” Paxton asked

“Just sex,” Devi confirmed

“I’m down, but I can’t tonight” Paxton had a date, with his bed, and also a movie with Rebecca not that he’d ever tell Devi that.

“Wow, okay!” The shock in Devi’s voice couldn’t be hidden if she tried, and she did not even attempt to. “Twist. This is surprising. Looking forward to it. Will circle back about it.” The shock melded into something akin to excitement and that bled from her every word. She stuck out her hand, Paxton looked down at it before hesitantly taking it into his own, she gave him one enthusiastic shake. Her smile was blinding, and Paxton stopped his own upturning lips at the strangeness of the entire interaction. He turned and walked away without looking back. When Paxton made it to the school lot it was practically empty, save for a few other cars, none of which were near his own. He climbed into his truck and tossed his bag into the passenger side, at last, letting himself think about what just happened. His mind replayed the scene in his head and he gave a little laugh, this would not be the first time someone wanted to have sex with him but it was the first that someone had been as bare with it plus the first time someone let their reaction show at his answer. He shook his head because it was not a big deal but when he pulled out of the parking lot and set off on the road home, Paxton could not shake the feeling that was telling that this was going to be interesting.

[notthefilmreview]

So...I’m obsessed with NEVER HAVE I EVER now and I’m not mad

Hey it’s Dana and I’m procrastinating my school work (because even the lockdown can’t stop my teachers from giving me work - how great!) so I’ve decided to watch a bit of the new Netlfix series NEVER HAVE I EVER which (after a google search) I found out is created by Mindy Kaling!

(However, by the time this post goes up I’ll probably still be procrastinating but for a whole different set of school work! Yay for me, I guess!)

I actually really have no idea what it’s about except for the fact that the title is a game I used to play with my friends to find out some gossip about their love life and vice versa which was often uninteresting because we never really had much to say. In conclusion, American High School romances have lied to me all my life about games like Truth or Dare and Never Have I Ever (it’s either that or me and the people around me have just lived fairly uninteresting lives...sounds plausible).

Anyway, read on to read about me reacting to NEVER HAVE I EVER the series for the first time!

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate how pretty Devi is; her hair is goals; orange is her colour; she has such a cute smile; she is thriving! 

Also, I do love the religious diversity and the Indian representation.

Hahaha! Okay this first scene is quite funny and the arm hair thing is so relatable if you have dark hair; I envy people with lighter hair!

But, what is it with people and always wanting to be invited to parties??? They’re seriously not that fun and I often leave with a headache and an empty stomach. At first, they are quite entertaining but after a while (when you’ve told every single story about what you did in your summer holiday and stuff about your dog) you’ve run out of things to say and just awkwardly stand there until someone - and there is always someone - finally mentions school and now you’re that group of people talking about school because there’s nothing better to talk about. Or maybe that’s just my experiences with parties - I don’t know (I haven’t been to many lol).

Hey, that’s Mona from DC’s Legends of Tommorrow!!!! Omg! is this why she left the show???

Ahhh and Devi is not only a Hindu and an Indian-American but she is also a wheelchair user - Mindy is out there just trying to give everyone all the representation we need!

Oh - so she managed to walk again after trying to see a hot boy’s chiseled jawline behind a car? Hmmmm...seems plausible.

I’m also getting a really 80s vibe that seem quite common in Netflix movies and tv shows (like Sierra Burgess Is A Loser) but I know it’s meant to be in the 21st century.

Lol I’ve never heard that before but it made me choke on my food. Imagine people bullying you and calling you the UN - the political slander, the international slander. Omg I love this show so much.

I don’t really thinkl Devi should care if Ben thinks she’s unbangable because she is only 15 so she doesn’t exactly need to have banging as her number one priority.

Yassssssss strut queen!

The heels things is extremely relatable; I’m already a clutz while walking in flats but when I put on heels I’m falling all over everywhere (you should’ve seen me dance at my Year 11 Prom lol). Devi is wearing really high heels - I seriously could never so good for her!

So Paxton just says yes to having sex with her? What? Is this how it works? Is it that easy? 

I’m so confused.

So I’m thinking that maybe there’s something more to Paxton than meets the eye. Maybe he’s a shamed virgin (which isn’t really as much of a problem as Hollywood tries to convince us) or maybe he might do a 360 and publicly shame Devi.

What I know, is that Paxton might end up having feelings for Devi after this (because this is how romance works, guys). Also, Devi might back out of having sex with Paxton.

So we’re onto episode 2 which is titled “...had sex with Paxton Hall-Yoshida”, making the title make more sense to me now.

Devi is casually just reading After which coincidently is also on Netflix (marketing strategies?).

*Love is in the air* (I was waiting for LGBTQ+ representations and I know this may cause some conflict with Devi’s plan for them all to get boyfriends butttttt in the long run, once Fab comes out to the gals they’re all going to accept her - at least I hope).

That blonde girl is too cute with her pixie hair cut omg I already love her so much and I haven’t even heard her talk.

This is the only love at first sight that I accept (this and The Half Of It, of course).

(Also the blonde’s eyebrows are beautiful; I want them so much).

This is the guy from Supergirl who played Lena’s old scientist boyfriend (and ruined all our lesbian Lena backstory but I did like him as a guy).

I like how Devi’s PTSD over her dad’s death is really being explored slowly.

Also, I knew that Devi would back out of having sex with Paxton and why does she always get cuts on her on her legs? is this symbolism? to do with her leg? and her mental state? am I reading too far into this?

Let Kamala be the beautiful biologists she deserves to be without an arranged marriage with a man whose family just wants her to be a wife.

We also shouldn’t forget how Devi’s mother’s feeling after her husband’s death. She may seem so strong on the outside but we all know she’s breaking on the inside and I hope that her and Devi can have a heart-to-heart about that.

Personally I think the blue ones...

Awww I think Paxton’s sister (Rebecca) and Devi are going to become good friends and I’m excited to watch it happen ahhhhh!

I’m thinking that Ben and Devi are going to become friends which would be quite sweet considering their rivalry.

Ohhhhhh Kamala has an asian boyfriend??? I’m officially attached; we need to end this arrnaged marriage; she needs to be with her boyfriend.

Awwwwww this is beautiful. I love Devi’s mum so much, she deserves love and attention.

Okay so we’ve now met a more human side to Paxton with him explaining that he’s been quite protective of his sister ever since she was adopted. And they’re not going to have sex (even though Devi told her friends that they did have sex) which is really going to cause major conflict.

Anyway, I should probably actually do some work now so bye!

MAJOR EDIT: So it turns out that I did work for about half an hour then decided to watch the rest of the season without reviewing as I go (because I was even lazy to do that lol). I did not think that I would actually finish the whole season in one go; I thought that I would just watch the first couple of episodes until it felt too awkward to watch the rest. Nevertheless, I watched the rest of the the season and I already want a new season to come out so badly!

Firstly, let’s deal with Paxton. 

So I thought that Paxton would make a massive U-turn and start being less of a douche (as his sister Rebecca - who is just so deadpan with him that I just love her more and more - puts it) and more of a sweetheart who has some type of depth to him. Yes, he does seem to have depth in the way that he’s not just some hot guy on the swim team who’s always mean to everyone because he is usually nice and doesn’t forwardly go out of his way to bully anyone (and I also give points for the fact that he is half asian and not a nerd because we need our dumb asians to replace London Tipton in our hearts). 

The problem is that I’m just confused about him. Why does he always come to Devi’s aid whenever she’s in trouble? What is his purpose? Why does he turn up at her doorstep when she doesn’t answer his text messages? 

I’m particularly confused (and also extremely worried) about that last question because it’s just weird and uneccessary to turn up to someone’s house when they don’t answer your messages. Maybe I would have let him off if he did it once but this guy does it soooooo many times that it’s started to become a bit creepy. Like chill. Seriously. Not everyone is constantly on their phone to text you back instantly and sometimes I’ve even not answered for a couple of days but you don’t exactly see anyone knocking at my door like “hey, Dana, answer my texts - I wanted to know what fucking ice cream you like”.

Basically, it’s just creepy and I feel as though they’re trying to use that to use that as him essentially developing feelings for her but now he needs to lay off because Devi’s got her eyes on Ben now.

Okay so Ben is what I’m excited for now. The next season will most likely focus on their love triangle and maybe devlop Paxton more to possibly make us really confused on who Devi should choose. Personally, I think she should choose Ben at the end of the day. 

Ben started off as Devi’s nemesis and I never really paaid much attention to him at the start because I thought he would just be there for a bit of comedy and to push Devi out of her comfort zone. It turns out that he has pushed Devi out of her comfort zone, in a different way of course (but when they kissed and the camera started panning down I thought they they were actually going to start having sex and I was like omg, whoa, I shouldn’t be watching this but also it would kinda be fulfilling to see Devi choose to have sex with this guy who actually wants her and actually likes her in that moment, fully forgetting about Paxton - it was actually just panning down to another call from Paxton).

I did see a glimmer of something between them but I thought it was just going to be a friendship to add to her group but I’m not mad at how it actually ended.

I feel as though we as the audience will route for Ben more because of that episode that completely centered him, which showed us just exactly how hard Ben’s life is. It was this episode and the Model UN episode that made me think that they might make this a thing (and there was also the fact that he tried to kiss her twice at his house).

It’s also an added bonus that Devi’s mum thinks so highly of Ben because it means she probably won’t have to hide him from her. While, yes, dating a guy who your mother doesn’t like (such as Paxton) is a symbol of rebellion and thriving outside of your family’s hold sometimes it’s not the right option if they turn you into someone completely different. Ben and Devi have this relationship in which she can be her complete self around him and not have to hold anything back or do anything in order to please him. They challenge each other, trust each other (especially with Ben driving her all the way to Malibu and STAYING), and understand each other to a level that Paxton just can’t seem to relate to.

Kamala’s breakup with Steve seemed really out of the blue with her really trying to stay away from an arranged marriage, to plain falling for the guy on the other end of the arranged marriage. Although she did say that she doesn’t want to marry yet I’m still really confused on why she dumped Steve but told Prashant that she likes him. I feel as though it would’ve made a bigger impact if she told both guys she didn’t want them and wants to focus on her aspiring career as a biologist.

I say that but I do see the sparks between Prashant and Kamala with them having a lot of things in common.

I want to end this fairly long review of the entire season 1 of NEVER HAVE I EVER talking about this girl right here, an absolute legend, a queen, the girl who wear a white suit to a sleazy high school party: Fabiola.

This girl is such an icon and her gay panic after summoning (yes, summoning) her whole family to tell them she’s gay (only to end up telling them she switched from AP French to AP Latin) made me both laugh so hard and feel so much pain for her.

When she finally told her mum that she was gay, I panicked. I had to mentally prepare myself to watch this woman shout, cry, question - even disapprove - of her daughter. Instead, what we got was a mother who accepted her daughter and told her that she’s only ever wanted to make her happy. It just made me realise that all that time her mother spent trying to get into her daughter’s love life (after thinking she had a boyfriend) was her version of trying to bond with her daughter and understand her and basically just be a mother.

Well, you know what, she is doing a great job as a mother and I’m so happy for Fab because I know when her mother finds out about Eve (if she hasn’t already) she is going to try and get all the gossip from her daughter and try so hard to take her shopping for clothes that’ll make her look good for dates with Eve (and I am thriving for this).

Her mother’s approach almost reminds me of the mother from Ackley Bridge (if anyone knows that show) who tried to get to know what being a lesbian really is like for a girl by going to one of the most gay areas in the UK. That was just an iconic moment and if you haven’t seen Ackley Bridge go watch that because it’s really good (at first though, after a while it gets a bit trash and you’ll understand).

I hope that season 2 comes quick (but it may not be for a while) and fingers crossed Ben and Devi are endgame, Kamala sorts out what she wants in life, Eleanor finally has a stern talk with her mum, and Fab and Eve finally become official (unless they are already) and we see a story more focused on them.

[a-lockman5]

Things were different now Pt. 2 - 2AM Toast {Devi x Paxton}

A/N: Ayyyy so I just felt the creative juices flowing and wanted to whip this out before they went away again. I had a blast writing this. I kept trying to proofread it but got caught up in the story again (Whoops!), so if I missed some typos, apologies. Also, I don’t own these characters (obviously), but I do love them. 

Warnings: more fluff/angst, blood/injury - NO SELF HARM, scared Paxton is cute

Here is part 1 if you haven’t read it yet!

Take a look at my MASTERLIST for more to read or inspo for requests :)

“Paxton?”

Holy shit. Paxton jumped six feet in the air at the sound of her voice. It was two o’clock in the morning. Why was anyone up? Why was Devi Vishwakumar in his house?

“Devi, what the hell?” he panted, still catching his breath from the scare she’d given him. “What are you doing?”

“I was getting a soda from the garage,” she replied, eyes wide. “I thought you were on a college visit this weekend.”

“Tomorrow. Dad and I are driving up tomorrow. What are you doing in my house?”

“Becca invited me over.” He could tell she was still tense, her eyes staring directly into his. “I didn’t think you were here.”

They’d hardly spoken since she and Gross started dating. She tried to apologize a few weeks ago when Rebecca invited her over for dinner. Paxton acted like it was fine. Why wouldn’t it be? They were just friends. Sure, they’d kissed after the party that one night, but it wasn’t like she owed him anything. Besides, he was the one that blew her off at school two days later. She didn’t owe him anything, and he knew that. And besides that, she and Gross made sense. They were both way smart and in the same class and could challenge each other intellectually and her friends seemed to like him and… he was rambling internally. The point was, he and Devi agreed they were friends and things wouldn’t be weird. And now, almost a month later, they were talking in his hallway at 2AM, and it was definitely weird.

“Cool,” he crossed his arms over his bare chest. “Becca told me you were helping her with more stuff for her portfolio. I guess that photographer didn’t know what he was talking about.”

“What?”

He shook his head slightly as his cheeks heated up. “Sorry, I just meant that he kept wanting you to stop posing, but here you are booking another gig. You’re like a real model, and I just… I don’t know.”

She laughed then. He was so embarrassed, but still couldn’t help smiling into his chest. It was her laugh that helped him be brave. “Look, Devi, we agreed things wouldn’t be awkward between us, but things feel pretty weird right now. Can we just let it go and be cool?”

Her eyes widened again and she gave him a tight lipped smile. “Yeah, definitely. I just didn’t expect” –

“To see me in the middle of the night in my own house?” he smirked.

She nodded and continued, “in your underwear with a…” she gestured wildly below his waist with her eyes closed tightly.

Paxton felt the color drain from his face. He’d been half asleep when he got up to go to the bathroom. Had he really not noticed? His hands instinctively covered his privates, though they weren’t feeling so private right now, and sure enough, there was some definite tenting going on. His eyes screwed shut, and he felt himself stumbling backward a few paces before turning his back on Devi entirely.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t… Shit. I need to go.”

He made a beeline for the bathroom and didn’t look back at her again. He slammed the door in a rush to escape the mortification he was experiencing and found himself crying out in pain. He’d shut his GD finger in the door. Jerking it out as fast as he could, he pressed the door closed with his back leant against it.

His head dropped, and a sigh escaped him. As he reached a hand up to push his hair out of his face, he almost missed the flash of red. “Goddammit!” he whispered furiously. His nail must have ripped off when he closed it in the door. Shit, did it hurt now that he was looking at it. Paxton turned to the sink and ran his finger under lukewarm water before forcing himself to put soap on it. He winced a little as it burned, but it was no where close to the painfully embarrassing encounter he’d just had with Devi. He looked down at his boxers at the reminder. Nothing like mutilating his ego and his hand to regulate his hormones – his erection had disappeared.  He sighed again.

Why did he have to run into her? Why like that? Why did he just have to lose every shred of dignity he had left? Things were not like this for Paxton. He was Paxton Hall-Yoshida for goodness sake! Paxton H.Y. did not get nervous around girls. They got nervous around him! But Devi… he never got nervous around her before Gross’s party. Not like he had tonight. He was too cool to be nervous. He was good at being cool. What the hell happened?

“It doesn’t matter,” he told himself. He just needed to dress his finger so that he didn’t get blood everywhere. After rummaging through the cupboards one-handed for a few minutes, he remembered the first aid kit was in the garage from his biking accident a few months ago.

The coast was obviously clear, he knew that. He’d been in the bathroom far longer than intended, so there was no way he would cross paths with Devi again. Still, Paxton took a deep breath before nervously poking his head out the door. Sure enough, the hall was empty. Another deep breath, this time in relief, and he padded down the hallway to the garage. When he flipped the light on, his nightmare continued.

There was she was sitting on the couch –  the couch they had sat on when they first met and she wanted him to… do something with her that she definitely didn’t want anymore. Her head whipped around to look at him, and her mouth fell open. Paxton pressed his head against the doorframe in defeat.

“Devi, why are you still out here?”

“I was just trying to…” she trailed off, but Paxton could tell by the look on her face that their encounter had affected her as much as it had him. He didn’t need to hear her say it.

“Alright, just let me put some shorts on.” At least the laundry room was right off the garage. He started to climb into a pair of basketball shorts while keeping his right hand aloft with toilet paper wrapped around his middle finger.

“Holy shit, what happened to your hand? Did you do it on purpose? Did you bite the nail down until it bled? Is it some side effect of the ‘roids you’re taking for swimming?”

Paxton jumped in surprise at being scared by Devi’s presence in the middle of the night... in his house... for the third time. This time, as he was off-balance, he immediately got tangled in his shorts and ended up on his side against the cold tile floor. He wanted to cry, he thought as he laid there. Why had this night turned into such a terror? Was he actually dreaming? Was he going to wake up and Devi would be asleep at her own house, in her own bed, and he the same? He would pray to a million gods to make that happen.

“Devi, why are you doing this to me?”

“I wasn’t trying to” – she broke off. “Here, come on, I got you.”

She steadied him at the elbow as he leaned on her to stand. She continued to let him lean on her as he finished donning his shorts with his affected arm out of harms way. “Thanks,” he murmured.

“Sorry, I asked about steroids. I know you don’t.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“I know that,” she nodded. “Sorry for scaring you too… What did you do to your hand though?”

Paxton exhaled in a huff. “I shut it in the bathroom door.”

“Oh good! When you yelled, I thought you racked yourself or something.” Devi sighed in relief. Paxton’s eyes narrowed in a glare at her. “Sorry. Do you have a first aid kit?”

“It’s in the garage,” he laughed despite himself.

“Ah. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, come on.”

She led him back into the garage and over to the couch. He sat down at her instruction. “Devi, you don’t have to” –

“Shut up. You can’t dress it with one hand. Besides, I’ve watched so many medical YouTube channels, it’ll be fun,” she said, plopping down next to him. “Come on, give it here.”

He knew there was no use arguing with her and let her pull his hand out of his lap. He took his time looking over her as she worked on him. He’d always thought she was objectively pretty from the moment they’d met, but he didn’t know he’d end up here, thinking about how cute she was. She was careful and focused as she peeled the toilet paper away, knowing it had started to dry and stick to his wound. She whispered a quiet apology when he hissed in pain, but never took her eyes off her work. She cleaned it, applied antibiotic ointment, wrapped it up in gauge, and secured it with tape. At some point, he found himself staring at her lips, thinking about how desperately he wanted to kiss her again – how desperately he wished she wanted to kiss him.

“There, finished!” She beamed at him. It was almost enough to jerk him free of his fantasy. Almost.

“Thanks,” he smiled lazily at her.

“For sure, I owe you for all the times you rescued me.”

“Yeah, ignoring that it’s your fault I got hurt,” he smirked at her.

“What? How do you figure?”

“If you weren’t wandering the house in the middle of the night” –

“I wouldn’t have seen your pork sword through your boxers.”

“Devi, what the hell?” he looked wildly at her. “Where do you even come up with this stuff?”

“People say that,” she shrugged.

“No, Devi, they really don’t,” he shook his head and started laughing. After a moment, she laughed too, and for that moment, things were good. “God, how did you do this to me?”

That sobered her immediately. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I used to be the coolest guy in school. I’ve been going to prom since middle school. My friend’s mom hits on me. How did you make me the guy that injures himself trying to escape an embarrassing situation? That used to be your thing!”

“Paxton…”

“It’s kind of funny, ya know? The first time we were ever in here, you ran away after I took my shirt off,” he continued, unable to stop himself. “I may not be an honor student, but I do realize now that your mom does not have polio.” He saw a hint of a smile on her face and felt himself smile back. “And now, look at us: sitting on the couch together, legs touching,” he accentuated his point by bumping his knee against hers, “I’m shirtless and you’re not scared of me anymore, but…”

“But what?” she asked after a moment.

I’m so scared of you. He blinked, pushing the thought away before he could stick his foot in his mouth. “But we don’t get to act on it. We’ve come so far since we first met, but we don’t get to talk to each other like we used to… I miss talking to you.”

“I miss talking to you too.” He thought she sounded genuine. She was the only person, outside of his family, he’d ever felt comfortable opening up to. Now that she was dating Ben Gross, he didn’t get to have that anymore? Why?

“Look, I think we can agree tonight has been super weird, but you don’t need to only come over when you think I’m not here.”

“I know.”

“No, I mean, I know we said that before, but I mean it. I want to be your friend, Devi. I like you, I like hanging out with you. Can we make that work?”

It felt like hours passed while she looked at him silently. He could practically hear her thoughts pinging around in her head at a million miles a minute, but he had no idea what to expect. She was quiet for so long, he began to think she would say no. No, they couldn’t be friends. It wasn’t what she wanted anymore. Things were going to be weird between them, and there was no way around it. Paxton would have to just go on shutting his hands in doors and tripping over his gym shorts until he could move on from her – that was the only acceptable way to handle their situation. Then he saw it; he wasn’t sure if it was compassion, pity, or something else that made her eyes warm to his, but he knew he liked the way she looked at him in that moment.

“Of course, we can. I like hanging out with you too. Here,” she scrambled up off the couch and went to the refrigerator they had in the garage. She pulled out a diet mountain dew and a cherry coke zero, handing the latter to him.

“How did you…?” he stared at the soda can. His parents bought a variety of sodas, they and Becca both enjoyed having choices. The cherry coke zero was his and his only. He didn’t drink soda often, but when he did, he needed something with more flavor than a diet soda, but that wasn’t as sweet as a regular cola.

“Becca told me I could drink whatever I wanted except that. If it was hers, she’d let me have it or would have at least had some herself. Your dad was drinking a mountain dew when I got here, and your mom had a sprite when I was over for dinner a few weeks ago. It only made sense that it was left for you.”

“Anyone ever tell you, you’re smart, Vishwakumar?”

“Actually, no,” she pondered the question before flipping her hair over her shoulder and winking at him, “everyone else says I’m a genius.”

For the first time that night, he smiled a real, big smile. She mirrored his actions, and he felt warm everywhere. When she reached across the space between them, his breath caught in his throat.  She popped the tab on his soda, and he felt a shaky breath escape him. “What are you doing?”

“Paxton Hall-Yoshida, we are toasting,” she replied, popping the tab on her own can.

“Why?”

“This is a new chapter in our lives, in our friendship, and we need to make it official.”

You are something special, Devi, he thought with a grin. “Okay, I’m in. What should we toast to?”

“Umm… how about no more injuries?”

“No more avoiding each other in the hallways?”

“Or each other’s gaze during history.”

“To not keeping it a secret when you’re hanging out with my sister”

– “and not scaring each other in the middle of the night with your pocket rocket at full salute.”

He snorted. “To literally never bringing that up ever again, especially not with any of those phrases.”

“Cheers!” she laughed, clinking her can against his. They both took drinks of their soda, and fell quiet again for a moment. For the first time since they’d kissed, it felt comfortable again though. There had been a very real shift in the energy between them. They could make friends work. They could spend time together. Was it going to help him move on? Certainly not. Was it going to help him cope? It was worth a try.

“There is something I’ve been wanting to ask you,” she said quietly. After their entire experience tonight, somehow she found a way to be nervous again.

“Shoot your shot, Lil D.”

“I want to go swimming. Will you help me?”

<< Part 1, Part 3>>

[justaniche]

Never Have I Ever...(accidentally) let someone meet Rebecca

heres the link to chapter 2 on ao3 

let me know what you think and happy reading!

word count: 4,622

His talk with Devi shifted from the forefront of Paxton’s mind soon after he got home. Once he finally got home and was ready to collapse, Rebecca found her way into Paxton’s room knowing of his arrival despite his exhausted attempt to hide it and with her came several and I mean  several  sketches of clothing she had drawn and that meant Paxton had to wake up and fast.

One time, Paxton, following a long day, had fallen asleep an hour into one of Rebecca’s ventures to bounce fashion ideas off of him and he had to work for weeks to make up for it. He loved his sister to death, but he was so tired he couldn’t help it and now he learned to keep energy drinks in their house for moments just like this one. In a movement perfected with repetition, Paxton grabbed a bang energy drink from his side dresser and down it while Rebecca pulled drawing after drawing out of the roll she brought with her.

Paxton hadn’t gotten in as late as he had in the past today so Rebecca had time to show him a good portion of her ideas before they had to start their movie so that they could get some sleep. Rebecca showed him a golden dress with a sequence pattern going down the left side, a take on a plaid skirt, paired with a shirt, she even shows him shoes and accessories to go with each individual outfit among many more. Becca wanted to be a fashion designer and hoped to soon apply to fashion school but she had to complete her portfolio first and did not hesitate to enlist Paxton’s help to do this.

After Becca finished showing Paxton all she wanted for the night, they settled onto the couch to watch the movie that had caught Becca’s eye 2 days prior,  After The Ball . The movie included an identity switch, a ball, and a touch of romance. It's a regular Cinderella tale with a twist, the protagonist was an aspiring fashion designer! Paxton could evidently see why it caught Rebecca’s eye. The movie ended rather quickly with Rebecca and Paxton engulfed deeply into the story although the latter tried to hide it. With the energy drink’s buzz leaving Paxton’s mind, his exhaustion followed and he was yawning despite himself. He and Rebecca exchanged goodnights and went to bed.

The next few days went off like normal, school was still new off of summer’s high and students and teachers alike needing time to bounce back, school work was nonexistent. The classes consisted of syllabi and classroom rules and expectations. This caused widespread boredom but fortunately, on this day, lunch approached rapidly and with lunch starting, Paxton found himself in the center of it all with his group of friends inside what students called  The Hotpocket.

Lunch unfolded as it always did, after they finished whatever lunch they had that day the soft hum of their light discussions broke out into full-fledged banter and laughter. Accompanying that laughter was parts of the aforementioned group messing around and sometimes engaging in ridiculous activities. Today that activity was Trent and Marcus, another close friend of theirs, battling with their lanyards. They were being dramatic as ever holding their IDs like nunchucks and swinging them about. Paxton was entangled in a lighthearted conversation with Devin, stopping on occasion to eye Trent and Marcus and laugh at their behavior.

Paxton was looking away when he heard someone exclaim “Ow. Goddamn it”. The entire Hotpocket looked up to cringe at the scene that was, apparently, a girl getting, accidentally, slapped in the face with a lanyard. Paxton’s jaw dropped slightly.

“Did I just hit you?” Marcus asks tentatively

“It’s cool” The reply from the girl, Devi, came rather fast considering her reaction from just moments ago. She adjusted her grips on her backpack straps, “Hey, Paxton, can I talk to you?”

Paxton turned towards his friend, giving him a pat and chuckling through an ‘i’ll be back’ while shifting up to stand. “Okay,” his face straightened as he followed Devi out of earshot from his friends.

“So I thought I would follow up on our conversation from the other day and ask if you wanted to hang out later?” The sentence was cool leaving her mouth, none of the ever-building anxiety leaked from her words.

Paxton had to think quickly to what Devi was referencing but it came to him milliseconds later and he blinked through his realization, “Oh, oh, you mean, uh, like, have sex?” he gave a soft smile hoping to give off a comforting vibe despite the twinge of uncomfortableness brewing in his gut. “Sure, uh, maybe” he paused to think “after school today at my place?”

Devi’s calm facade seemed to shatter and the word tripped from her mouth, eloquence long forgotten, “Today?” Her mind blanked with panic for a split second and the words  TOO SOON  flooded her brain. She hadn’t expected this.

“Yeah.”

“That’s super soon, which is great.” Devi had a feeling she was more so trying to convince herself than anyone else. “Soon is great, it’s just…” an answer popped into her head, “I have orchestra after school today, so I can’t.” she had to stall, to prepare herself but couldn’t for too long. It was a miracle that Paxton had agreed in the first place. If she messes up he could change his mind so she mindfully finished “But maybe later this week?”

Paxton wanted to laugh but held it in, he opened his mouth to answer but just exhaled. His charming smile ever-present as he answered while backtracking returning once again to the Hotpocket effectively ending the conversation. “I don’t know. Maybe.” He turned, striding away.

“Okay, great” Devi called, “We’ll compare calendars tomorrow or something. We’ll figure it out. Later, skater.”

Paxton had already begun to join Marcus and Trent in their makeshift game when he registered Devi’s continued speech, “What?” He asked but she tucked her head, shamefully, and walked away.

~~~

Succeeding lunch, the day sped up considerably. With the commencement of the last class of the day and everyone going to their lockers and then out the door, Paxton was joining them. Today there was no swim practice so Paxton was, thankfully, headed home early. That was his thought until of course his English teacher thought now would be a great time to talk to him about his supposed “lack of participation”. This normally would be something that Paxton would care about and attempt to contemplate but not now, not today when he was getting an early day to relax and who knows what else with this extra time.

It was probably 15 minutes max, but to Paxton, it felt like a lifetime. He was at his car door about to get in as someone called him from his right.

“Hey. I can actually come now. The scheduling conflict I had cleared up.” Devi stated, hands gripping her bookbag’s straps.

Paxton didn’t miss a beat, a split second earlier and he would have cut her off. He found himself buzzed with some semblance of happiness for the company. “Cool. Get in.”

“Okay.” Devi smiled and hurried t0 the passenger side of the car and climbed it as Paxton got settled and they set off.

When they got to Paxton’s house, he got Devi inside before his phone rang and he left the garage to answer the phone. The conversation was rather brief and as it was concluding Paxton re-entered the garage still speaking Japanese into his phone. He hung up.

“Sorry. That was my grandpa,” Paxton clarified, “Can I get you a drink?” he was already making his way over to the mini-fridge he kept in the garage before she could answer. He knew how these matters, if not handled carefully, could easily tip from comfortable to awkward if he didn’t mind sharp, and that was the last thing he wanted with Devi.

“Sure. Do you have any chocolate--” Devi stopped, rather abruptly, when Paxton spun around to face her, beer in hand. She grabbed it despite herself. “Ah. Beer. You read my mind.”

“All right. Well, my mom will be home soon, so...better get to it” Paxton gave a half shrug before stripping off his shirt from the bottom. If there was anything about himself that Paxton was securely confident in, it was his physical appearance. Being that Paxton was a swimmer, he could not afford to think about how others would feel about his appearance at every opportunity. Giving into potential insecure would only throw him off mentally during swim practices and comps, Paxton resolved himself a long time ago that it would help no one. So he tended to, or at least tried to, not think about it every time he showed a part of his body. Plus it’s not like any girl he was interested in who got far enough with him complained, thus taking off his shirt was no big feat and he did so without hesitation.

Devi was sort of freaking out at this point but was doing a great job of not showing it. That was until Paxton’s shirt came off. The beer she was sure she had a good grip on slipped and hit the floor with a thud. Paxton’s eyes followed it, slight confusion on his face but he didn’t comment.

“Oh.” the urge to explain the state of his chest took over, “Just so you know, I have to shave my chest for swimming, so the stubble might, like irritate your skin a little bit.” He lifted her limp hand to his chest for emphasis moving her hand to feel, he looked down following their joined hands, and then looked up making eye contact with Devi. He gave a small smile and she gaped.

“Oh, God”

Her mouth opened and closed for a few moments before her brain reconnected with her mouth. She had just touched the chest of Paxton Hall-Yoshida! Fab and Eleanor were gonna flip! But wait, her mind was now at red alert at the close proximity between her and Paxton that she’s just now processing. And so she did what any normal person would in her situation, she panicked.

“You know what? I just remembered. I have to go home,” She snatched her hand back like it was on fire leaving Paxton surprised and his hand hanging in the air as she patted his shoulders for good measure, “because I have a package coming that I need to sign for.” she nodded trying to regain her composure, it wasn’t working.

Paxton nodded and chuckled as he and Devi switched positions in her attempt to get to the door, he shoved his hands into his pockets, “Word?”

“Yeah, It’s medication for my mom’s...polio.” What the heck Devi? Polio, really?

Paxton could only nod through Devi’s hidden meltdown.

“Yeah, so…” She slowly retreated to the door through her word vomit when she misstepped and a sharp pain spread at the base of her leg, “Ow. Goddamn it!”

“Oh, shit. Are you okay?” Paxton’s stance broke as he rushed forward to the injured girl. She leapt back before he could reach.

“Yep, yep. I’m fine” Devi’s aim to reassure fell short as Paxton’s concerned eyes looked closer.

“Are you sure? You’re...bleeding.” he gestured to her leg

“It’s chill. I’ll see you tomorrow” humiliation ate at Devi’s very being. She had majorly fucked up, in various departments and she was out the door before Paxton could utter another word.

Paxton was extremely bewildered and it showed on his face. With Devi gone the garage fell silent. Paxton stepped back from the door, considered his options. He could go after her or stay home and like she said, see her the following day. He weighed it and decided against trying to catch up to her. She really did seem like she just wanted him to think she was fine and to leave it alone, he wanted to respect that. His gaze swept the floor before it landed on the theorized perpetrator. It was sharpish, in a box on the floor, and sticking out in his direction; one of Paxton’s old swim trophies. He crouched down with a sigh as he picked up the award and rolled it around in his hands examining it. At the very tip was a trace amount of blood, where it had punctured Devi’s cafe. Paxton could not help but think about how strange that was, try as he had to make the whole interaction go as smoothly as possible there was no predicting that and therefore no thwarting it. With the knowledge that there was nothing Paxton could do to help the situation with Devi gone, Paxton shrugged his shirt back on and proceeded with his day.

~~~

Contrary to what Devi said and to what Paxton thought, Paxton did not see Devi the entire school day. He found himself expecting to see her somewhere but always fell short when she was nowhere to be seen. The end of the day came and once again no practice, coach explained it as a new regime he was trying out, sorting out on days and off days and said it would vary until he decided what worked. Paxton was restless after two days and decided on a run after he got home.

He was finishing up his 2-mile run when he saw Devi pacing in front of his house, he ran up behind her. “Sup,” he panted, her response was a scream as he had seemed to startle her. He smirked faintly, “I’m just finishing up a run,” Paxton began. He wanted to get her talking, particularly about why he found her in front of his house talking to herself. He was vaguely relieved to see her but ignored that.

“Okay, cool” she crossed her arms, her demeanor chill. “So do you need to stretch or something, or are you good to just go into your garage and have sex with me?” The words marched from her mouth clear and confident. Let us take a minute to appreciate both the awkwardness of that sentence and applaud the boldness of it.

“Um…” Caught off guard Paxton frowned deeply into his shrug, “I’m good to go to the garage.” She struts passed, her head held high, and as soon as she did Paxton swiftly lifted his shoulder to sniff his armpit, reassuring himself that he did in fact not smell. He pivoted and followed her inside.

Unfortunately, the blind confidence coming from Devi’s words did not translate well into action. That is how they found themselves sitting on Paxton’s couch, Devi’s arm along the back of it, their vicinity too close to not be at least talking and the tension was building. Paxton looked to her for a move and Devi jumped on it.

“So, here we are…” she weirdly stroked from his collarbone down, the tone from outside back on, “about to pleasure each other.”

Paxton did not know if he should be weirded out by her word choice but Devi was proving, with every meeting, to be not like any of the other girls he tends to interact with. He nodded vaguely but when she tapped his nose twice he couldn’t stop his eyebrows from coming together, what exactly was happening?

“But before I can rock your world, I need to freshen up.”

Paxton couldn’t decide if Devi did not see anything wrong with this whole situation or if she was choosing to ignore it, that decision would dictate how he would respond so he needed to figure it out and soon.

“Can you point me in the direction of the ladies’ room? I wouldn’t wanna pee in the middle of doing it.” One point for ignoring the problems, zero for not seeing them. There’s no way she didn’t realize how that sounded coming from her mouth but her face gave no emotion but certainty.

Paxton wasn’t sure if he should respond to the second part but did anyway although the words came slowly full of apprehension, as he lifted his finger in the direction of the bathroom. “Yeah, that’d be bad. First door on the right.”

“Thanks” With that Devi was gone.

Paxton breathed a sigh of relief, he couldn’t think properly with her here. She came back on a new day seemingly ready to have sex despite yesterday’s debacle. The odd opening word choice might have been endearing had it not been followed by a tense silence and more questionable sentence phrasing. It was quickly bordering on uncomfortable but awkwardness was a natural occurrence in sex so this was not a real reason to bail. He just had to wrap his head around her way of speaking and this would be fine. Paxton repeated this in his head, this will be fine.

Several minutes had gone by and Devi had yet to return. Paxton got up from his position on the couch to find her, she really should not have gotten lost. He checked the bathroom to no avail and stopped confused then he continued down the hallway when he heard voices coming from Rebecca’s room.

“I’m Devi. It’s nice to meet you.” Paxton turned glimpsing into Rebecca’s room to see her shaking hands with Devi. Irritation started to build in Paxton’s chest.

“What are you doing?” He directed at Devi but didn’t wait for a response before addressing his sister, “Becca, I thought you were at work.”

Paxton walked deeper into the room, “I switched with Lisa. She gets her braces off tomorrow.” Rebecca explained, satisfied with the answer he received, Paxton turned back to Devi.

“You said you were just going to the bathroom. What the hell?” The irritation was quickly turning to anger at Devi having met his sister. If people knew about Rebecca things could turn ugly, fast.

“Wait. Are you mad at me or something?” The disbelief Devi felt was clear on her face, what was the problem here?

Paxton simply didn’t respond, the budding anger brewing substantially at her attempt to play coy. He walked clear out of Rebecca’s room without a word, his expectation was clear, she was wearing her welcome thin, and she was to go with him outside.

“Why are you sneaking around my house and talking to my sister?” Paxton was comfortable to let his annoyance into his voice with his sister out of earshot.

“Was I not supposed to? I didn’t even know that you had a sister.” Her voice was soft as she tried to get him to understand the genuine misunderstanding but it was far from working and Paxton was too cross to see reason right now. Come on Devi, read the room. Paxton saw this as a jab,

“Oh, you think I’m hiding her now, because I’m embarrassed of her or something?” It was definitely a question but he certainly did not want a response. Seeing someone with his sister sent Paxton into a sort of panic mode. Devi was going to go to school and tell everyone all about his sister and hell if he wasn’t going to get in a lot of fights defending her.

“No, I didn’t say that,” Devi stated, slightly defensive at the attack.

“Okay.” He didn’t believe her for a second as he looked away trying to gather himself, he wanted her out now. He shook his head as the words came out his mouth spiced with venom, “I don’t think this is gonna work. All right, you should probably just go.”

Devi felt the air forced from her lungs leaving her speechless, she knew there was nothing more she could say and honestly couldn’t find the words either way. She gave him one last look before leaving.

Paxton went inside, not stopping to see her go, so many emotions flowed through him but most of all he was scared. Scared of what people would say and all because he didn’t think to make sure Rebecca wasn’t home before he invited Devi inside. He was scared because he loved his sister and could not deal with people and their ignorant words and dumbass opinions but he was helpless. Paxton could not stop people from talking, couldn’t stop Devi from sharing. And Paxton hated feeling this way, the powerlessness ate at him because he was meant to always take care of his sister. So he bundled the emotions up into something he could control, aggravation, and directed it at the person who triggered the emotions, Devi.

~~~

The day passed and Devi and the situation with Becca plagued Paxton’s mind. He was upset, yes but he was also rational enough to know that he couldn’t completely blame his feelings on Devi but he was at a loss. He had accused her and gotten mad entirely too quickly. He now felt stuck between his emotions and the urge to talk to her, to say what? Paxton wasn’t sure as of yet but he couldn’t speak to her, he didn’t know how to.

~~~

Morning classes were a bore especially considering Paxton’s mind was not exactly on task so he found himself once again immensely thankful for lunch’s social reprieve. Paxton was surrounded by his friends and he could almost forget that something was bothering him. That was until the person Paxton was consciously avoiding called to him.

“Paxton, can I talk to you?”

The liveliness among the group died briefly before light laughter spread between them. Paxton’s energy dropped but it did not climb with the rest of his friends’. Paxton looked over, face straight, his eyes met with the expectant Devi. She sort of looked how he felt but he couldn’t compel his body to make a move. His eyes dropped from hers unable to maintain the contact with shame stewing over his behavior. Without a word to Devi, Paxton turned to his friends and continued to converse.

~~~

There was a chance although slight that Paxton held on to that he would not run into Devi during lunch. That did not work out. There was no chance that he could go to their  shared  history class and not be at a close distance seeing as he sat in front of her. He sat in front of her trying to focus but his mind was racing and he was dumbfounded.

He still didn’t know what to say. The reasons to simply ignore her compiled, her meeting Becca, his anger, his reaction, and now him disregarding her at lunch. He was making this worse instead of better, he knew this but he couldn’t figure out how to fix it. He hated being mean to people, he hated to leave things unsettled, but this time was different. He couldn’t get a grasp on the words that would make this better, so he chose not to say anything at all.

~~~

That night Paxton laid down, progressively his pent up energy was coming to a head and it was coming out as restlessness. Once he had gotten home, Paxton ran until he was spent but still he was unable to relax. He had done a series of activities including various workouts, watching movies, and cooking but nothing was untangling the knot he felt in his chest. The complete stress he felt at being a jerk to Devi. Paxton had to do something. He felt okay at first but it has gotten so much worse in such a short span of time.

He had to talk to her, and not tomorrow, no he needed to apologize tonight, right now. So he grabbed his keys and started to walk to Devi’s house. Thinking about it in a way that makes sense, he would have reached her sooner had he driven but Paxton wasn’t thinking. He was going totally on emotion and that was causing him to act rashly. He made it to Devi’s house relatively quickly and he rang the doorbell before processing a thought. When his finger released the doorbell, he took a breath that finally felt like it entered his lungs. Within moments a woman was answering the door,

“Hello?” she began, despite the door being wide open. She appeared suspicious of the unknown young man who stood at her door at this hour. “Can I help you with something?”

“Um...yes I am sorry to bother you but is Devi home?” He realized at that moment the strangeness of his request and how it could be taken considering when he had shown up.

“Hold on” The woman disappeared, leaving her door open and Paxton again was left to wait.

Paxton took a breath to help calm himself then turned to face the door upon hearing the shuffling of footsteps and was relieved to see Devi at the door.

“Hey”

“Hi”

The greeting was short as they both caught sight of Nalini Vishwakumar, Devi’s mom, leaning along the top of the staircase, eavesdropping not so subtly. Devi could not have her mom listening in. Devi did not know what this conversation would entail but given the nature of her past talks with Paxton, her asking him to have sex with her after all, she could not have her mom hearing that. She would very possibly kill her.

“Let’s talk over here” Devi offered, walking outside and shutting the door behind her. Once they were at a safe distance, Paxton let what was bothering his mind spill out.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry for yesterday. I’m just kind of protective of my sister. She used to get bullied pretty bad...even by people I thought were my friends. I guess I’ve always been a little too protective. Like, when my parents first adopted her, I used to sit by her bed every night with a Nerf gun. That’s why our cat only has one eye now.” Paxton finished slowly, slightly embarrassed that a funny story had turned into him admitting to mistakenly hurting their family cat.

Paxton did not know why exactly he was sharing so much with Devi but it felt nice. It started to seem to Paxton that he did not think about every word when it came to Devi. It was weird but it was nice to share this with someone.

“Paxton, I would never make fun of your sister. She’s super fashionable and way cooler than me.” They were sharing a laugh at that blatantly honest remark when Devi’s mom knocking on the window interrupted them.

“No laughing.” She warned

“Mom!”

Paxton had to interject, recalling something Devi had said in his garage, he lifted his hand in greeting. “I’m so sorry about your polio, Doctor Vishwakumar.”

“What?” Nalini shot back but she didn’t care for an answer and that showed when she let the curtain fall.

“Well, thanks for the apology. If we’re cool, should we meet in your garage tomorrow?” Devi’s tone was hopeful but Paxton had other plans. He made a face.

“Actually, I don’t think that’s a good idea anymore. It just got weird, you know?” He felt a lot better and his voice took on a relaxed feel.

Despite the disappointment Devi felt, she played it off, she scoffed “Yeah, sure. I was gonna say the same thing too.”

Paxton smiled and Devi gave a small one back, “Okay.” His words felt final and they knew their conversation was coming to an end. “Well, uh...I’ll see you at school.”

Paxton, pleased with the way the talk went, began his trek home and Devi dejectedly retreated back into her house. Paxton was once again walking away from Devi, but this time there was a difference. This time, Paxton looked back.

[a-lockman5]

What do you think Paxton's deal is with his parents? He mentions them a few times throughout the season, so it doesn't seem like a Ben-type situation where his parents aren't home. But it seems he lives independently of them in his garage, pretty much does whatever he wants concerning parties and girls, and that they let him slide with poor grades. I'd think a Japanese father would be strict like Nalini is to Devi, so I'm wondering what his family dynamic is like?

Hello!

I do not at all think that Paxton lives in the garage. I think it is like a hangout space his parents have provided him and Becca with if they want to use it. Think like... the Foreman’s basement in That 70s Show.

However, I definitely get where you are coming from because we don’t get too much information on them. I can tell you my personal theory, but also note that not every parent is as strict or controlling as Nalini no matter where they are from.

I believe that Paxton is a generation ahead of Devi so to speak. He spoke in Japanese with his grandfather, but doesn’t say anything about them speaking Japanese in their home. To the contrary, his best friend didn’t even realize he’s half Japanese. I know he says he thought Mr. Hall-Yoshida was Paxton’s neighbor, but I also suspect that Paxton’s dad does not speak with a Japanese accent.

I think Mr. Hall-Yoshida is a first generation Japanese-American after his parents moved to America. Much like Devi is a first generation Indian-American after Mohan and Nalini moved. [This is not to say that I do not count Nalini as American if she chose to identify that way, just more about the cultures they are exposed to as they grow up] I don’t think Devi will be nearly as strict with her children as Nalini has because she has been exposed to a different culture, and in a lot ways defies her heritage (I do hope that changes, but she’s BA the way she is too). Mr. Hall-Yoshida might have been similar in his youth. He also married interracially suggesting that perhaps he is a little removed from Japanese ideals.

Aaand it may be entirely to do with his mom’s parenting style. It does take two to tango after all. Perhaps, his mom is less strict and they forge a middle ground of understanding to support Paxton. Devi may or may not have been being raised as strictly when Mohan was alive - he certainly was more laidback than Nalini.

Ultimately, I’m not sure they’ve put too much thought into his parents yet as his character did change rather quickly (the character was to be Paxton Hall, a white male before finding out Darren is part Japanese). What we do know is: his dad is Japanese, both parents are in the picture (mom recognized Ms. Wong at dinner), they adopted Rebecca (love so many things about this), and they both work outside the home (I think because Paxton mentions when his mom will be home when they are planning to hookup). I am anxious to learn more though!

[ao3feed-nhie]

by magnetichearts

“Losing that car,” Eleanor continues, “would be like, the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“Thanks for the suggestion, Fab,” Ben groans.

“Any time,” Fabiola says, raising her coffee cup.

“Ok then,” Kamala interjects. She arches a perfect eyebrow. “What would be the worst thing that ever happened to Devi?”

She knows, and she hops down from the table, stepping over to Ben, who leans back in his chair dangerously far, teetering on the edge of the two back legs. “Being one of those girls in Ben’s car.”

His mouth curls up in the corner, and he’s totally unperturbed, and something—something weird coils in the pit of her stomach before she forces it down. “So it’s settled,” Kamala announces. “If Devi wins, she gets Ben’s car. If Ben wins, Devi goes for a date in said car.”

  or; ben and devi make a bet to see who can catch more criminals in a year. it does not end the way either of them thought it would

(title from "heart out" by the 1975)

Words: 12330, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Never Have I Ever (TV)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Devi Vishwakumar, Ben Gross, Eleanor Wong, Fabiola Torres, Kamala (Never Have I Ever), Rebecca Hall-Yoshida, Principal Grubbs

Relationships: Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) Fusion, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Fluff, Banter, Bickering, Teasing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Bonding, Developing Relationship, can i call it "to lovers" if they don't even kiss?, like for real is that ok?, man lover is a lowkey cringey word, i'm literally listening to still into you by paramore as i type this up, who am i to judge, ok but that song is a bop, these tags have nothing to do with the fic dear god, anyways yeah it's a b99 au cause i have taste, as evidenced by the paramore playing, jake is ben and devi is amy, cause it just works too well for them, i had way too much fun writing this even though it took me like 2000 years, honestly i started this before the iliad was a thing, ok anyways b y e this is ridiculous, oh also acab like heavily, Fuck the Police