#but my partner bought some death wish coffee (the best coffee) and i am drinking that right up 💕

[thatdemiboymess]

Love drinking strong coffee. Automatically I feel calmer, my mood becomes better, and my head feels like it has less aimless energy and static bouncing around inside of it making the world seem so much quieter. It also helps me get a better sleep with less severe nightmares if I drink it before going to bed. Top tier experience, would absolutely 100% recommend.

[hardforbenhardy]

~ prompt list ~

if you ever send in a request, feel free to add in a prompt for the list!! just send the number with the request in reference to this list vv

1. I swear its like you’re losing brain cells by the minute

2. Wait… stay.

3. You really want to know what I’m thinking?

4. Could you stay out of this, for once?

5. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out

6. And then there were 2

7. In the bathroom? really?

8. Were you born this way or is it something you just work on every day?

9. You don’t clear your history do you?

10. It’s like I’m living in the stone age

11. How long have you been standing there?

12. Stay on your side

13. It’s all over the walls

14. I swear, she’s clueless

15. A year ago I would’ve been terrified

16. Have you changed that pillowcase once?

17. She sure is smiling tonight

18. Now, I know what this looks like, but we’re gonna laugh about it soon…

19. It was his idea

20. You couldn’t go three days without me

21. It’s only 4 feet

22. Let me go

23. After you

24. You couldn’t be more blind if you were actually blind

25. It’s different with you

26. Mmm, bubblegum flavour

27. Fetch me one, peasant

28. That’s not how it sounded last night

29. Breathe into your body

30. You bought all 10?

31. I’ll always look after you

32. That’s what you’re wearing?

33. If only I had some inspiration…

34. I’ll clear your head

35. I swear you bring out the best/worst in me   (50/50 right there)

36. I’m way too sober for this

37. I need somewhere to stay

38. You really don’t remember?

39. For you, anything goes

40. The doctor said it’s normal

41. You bought WHAT?

42. You can’t stay in there forever, unlock the door

43. That is a terrible idea perfect for a time like this

44. And after all these years, why today?

45. Use your words.

46. What happened to your face?

47. I will always love you

48. You are going to be the death of me

49. Please come over

50. You flinch again, and I bite

51. This is illegal?

52. We are not getting married!

53. Stop following me like a lost puppy

54. Can you two stop embarassing me?

55. I can’t believe you would do this to me

56. You don’t always have to be in control

57. They’re going to kill you when they find out you...

58. Your tutor is pretty hot

59. Why have you been so secretive lately?

60. I’m dying

61. Don’t push me away anymore

62. How come you’re the only one who can see me?

63. I just wanted to hear your voice

64. You’re a nightmare

65. I’m not helping you babysit

66. Just so you know, this isn’t a date

67. Did we sleep together?

68. How long are you going to keep blackmailing me?

69. I’m not taking you to hospital just because you stunned your toe

70. If you won’t do it - I will

71. I can’t remember anything

72. You’re telling me how to do it?

73. I tested positive

74. If only I had some motivation…

75. You can’t go- not now.

76. We’ll find a way 

77. Bite me

78. Shouldn’t you be with her/him?

79. It wasn’t your fault

80. Did you need something?

81. You cant handle me

82. I could never do that to you

83. Promise me.

84. You’re going to catch me, right?

85. You lay one hand on her and I will end you

86. This has got to be illegal

87. Somewhere deep down in you,  I know you agree

88. I’m sorry, I thought you knew…

89. Don’t stoop to his level

90. You can’t be in here

91. I just want to help, let me help

92. Are we there yet?

93. Carry me!

94. You’ve known all this time?

95. Are you wearing my shirt?

96. I cant hear my thoughts over you’re weeping

97. This has to be a prank

98. Wanna bet?

99. Why would you do that for me?

100. Wow you really don’t pick up on hints, do you?

101. Prove it.

102. I wont allow this, I cant accept it.

103. Quit staring.

104. You bought me what?

105. I think it’s backwards

106. Wait, you’re allergic?!

107. Jinx

108. Get comfy, because this is gonna take awhile

109. You’re going to regret this

110. Truth or dare

111. Well would ya look at that? You were right.

112. Go ahead, hit me

113. Ever heard of knocking?

114. Im banned from there

115. Get down from there before you hurt yourself

116. Did I stutter?

117. I heard you say it in your sleep

118. Who’s bra is that?

119. Hold me. Just hold me.

120. This isn’t how I planned on telling you, but…

121. This was a bad idea

122. I cant do anything right.

123. Please don’t cry

124. Why are you awake right now?

125. Why are you lying to me?

126. Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole!

127. Don’t you ever do that again

128. Do you even still love me?

129. Nobody’s seen you in days.

130. I’m worried about you

131. Can you shut up for once in your life

132. Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know

133. If you don’t hug me right now I think I’ll fall apart

134. Just get home as soon as possible okay?

135. I told you not to fall in love with me!

136. Go with me? As long as you hold my hand

137. Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?

138. Have you seen my hoodie? Nooo. You’re wearing it, aren’t you?

139. OH you’re jealous!

140. Can we stay like this forever?

141. Please just kiss me already

142. I think you might be my soulmate

143. Sleep over? Please?

144. Are we on a date right now?

145. I think I’m in love with you

146. Are you flirting with me? You finally noticed?

147. Am I your lock screen? You weren’t supposed to see that

148. I wish we could live with each other already

149. They’re so cute when they’re asleep

150. I just wanted to let you know you’re beautiful

151. You take my breath away ... you know, like the song haha

152. Quit touching me, your feet are cold!

153. Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie

154. Did you seriously just get your foot stuck in a toilet? Maybe

155. If I die, I’m haunting you first

156. But I’ve never told you that before

157. Stop being grumpy, it’s lame

158. Can we please stop running, I think I’m going to die

159. Can you please... hmmm I don’t know, maybe put a shirt on?!

160. You come here often? Well I work here so I think I’d have to say yes

161. Aren’t we supposed to be working?

162. You’re insane! You love me. Not right not now I don’t

163. Give me attention

164. YOU SAID TO BE HONEST, STOP HITTING ME!

165. Okay, so maybe I didn’t see that coming

166. I’m too sober for this. You don’t even drink. Maybe I should start

167. You met me yesterday. Yes, and I would die for you, next question

168. I’m telling you, I’m haunted

169. Well, that’s tragic

170. She’s hiding behind the sofa

171. I’d kill for a coffee... literally

172. What do you mean she’s my new partner? She tried to kill me last week! Sounds like a you problem

173. Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion

174. I’m bulletproof, but please don’t shoot me

175. It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka

176. No. Regrets

177. How drunk was I?

178. How is my wife more badass than me?

179. It’s your turn to make dinner

180. They’re not your kids, back the fuck off

181. I could punch you right now

182. Welcome back. Now fucking help me

183. I’m not buying Ikea furniture ever again

184. That was kind of hot

[robronsecretvalentine]

The Latest Scheme

Secret Valentine’s Day Gift for @prettyboysugden

Happy Valentine’s Day Lucy!

The Latest Scheme

Aaron was very frustrated. He had spent most of the afternoon trying to pick a car apart when he realized that there were actually working parts in good condition still on the car. He then had to be careful stripping the car and that had taken longer than usual and he still had another car to strip. He needed to finish this today as the pick-up for them was tomorrow. Adam had scoffed off earlier under the pretense of “needing some time to work on his relationship with Vic” which was mostly him grovelling to Victoria for his latest misstep.

He was hunched under the hood as he heard footsteps on the gravel leading up to the scrapyard. At this time and the way the person was walking, it could only be one person. Well that was it for the cars. They couldn’t be finished by tomorrow and Adam was going to have to take them himself the day after and moan about it. He knew whatever he was here for at this time, it would not end well for Aaron.

He braced himself as he continued to work. At least he could pretend to resist the newest scheme for a bit longer. Who knew if he played his cards right he might even get him to help with the cars!

“I bought you coffee and a scone. Wanted to bring you cake, but there was only one slice left and I wanted that so you have to do with the scone I’m afraid.” Robert said.

Oh this was bad. Aaron definitely needed a lawyer for this if he was being offered coffee and scone for free on a Wednesday afternoon.

“No. I’m not doing it. Whatever it is this time. I am not breaking into you ex-fiancé’s home to steal her dad’s old dirty love letters or breaking into the safe to get his will, and I am definitely not impersonating a millionaire to steal his clients. I am done with your schemes to take over Home Farm. At this rate I will either end up back in prison or killed by that nut-job Lachlan!” his voice raised as he turned to Robert. By the end he was shrieking.  

“Calm down, will ya? I am not asking you anything you paranoid freak! Can’t I just bring my best mate in the whole wide world a coffee and a pastry?” Robert said teasingly with a smirk that Aaron knew meant death and destruction was on the way. He knew his friend well.

He took the coffee and the scone from Robert suspiciously. They both leaned against the half striped car. The truth was that his friendship with Robert had taken him by surprise. Almost one year ago, the two of them had found their ways separately back to Emmerdale. A series of bad decisions and even worst consequences had resulted in their first “meeting”.

Aaron shouldn’t have been surprised on how often they got into schemes together. Criminal activity and misdemeanor was the foundation of their friendship. What was surprising that after accepting a coffee from Robert and a drink on a night out, they had hit it off immediately. Their bickering and Aaron’s temporary absence of “best friend” had resulted in them becoming fast friends. It was a mutually satisfying friendship.

Aaron had convinced Robert to tell Chrissie the truth about his feelings or lack thereof for her and break off the engagement after Lawrence threatened him yet again. Robert however, had taken his advice and blackmailed Lawrence; he would break if off with her, if Lawrence had made him a shareholder in the business. Obviously Lawrence had refused. This was how Robert had come up with the brilliant idea to steal old photographs and love letters of previous lovers that proved Chrissie might not be Lawrence’s biological daughter. Obviously he couldn’t get his own hands dirty and who did he know who could do it? Aaron obviously. That is how Robert ended up a silent partner in Lawrence’s business, the main investor in Holy Scrap (as a thank you to Aaron for his hard work), Diddy Diner (because he was capable of caring for his family, thank you very much), and as of last month, an equal partner in Home James Haulage.

Robert’s interest in Home Farm was no longer necessary but as he was a grade “A” control freak and couldn’t let anything go if he could make more money out of it, he sometime still screwed with Lawrence. Aaron thought it was out of boredom mainly.

Now the reason Aaron was involved, or at least how he justified it in his own mind, was that he was a great friend. Case in point, Adam and how many times he had saved him. Aaron was ride or die for all his friends. That is what Aaron told himself and Chas and Paddy whenever they questioned his friendship with Robert. The truth though, was a bit different.

Aaron was totally in love with Robert. If he was honest with himself, he was insanely attracted to him from the first time he saw him and if Robert would show any indication that he might be interested, Aaron would confess his feelings on the spot. However, he knew Robert was straight. Aaron put it down as another case of unrequited love for best friend. God knows he already had the experience with Adam when they were kids, and as that experience had taught him, he would soon get over his feelings for him and instead become amazing friends. If he could only stop staring at Robert’s lips as he was sipping his Americano, then he would be fine. God those lips were just begging to be kissed.

“So, there is something I need to tell you.” Robert said in a very suspiciously casual manner.

“I knew it! You want me to do something stupid. Why can’t you just enjoy what you have right now and don’t do anything stupid to ruin it?”

“Well because, Azza, I am not someone who can do that and anyway, you wouldn’t like me if I was!”

“Who says I like you?”

“Well you’re still here. And might I add that in all of our shared endeavors, I didn’t really have to persuade you. You could have said no anytime. You are just as bad as me!” Robert said with his signature smug face. God, Aaron could just slap him. Or kiss him. Whichever that would wipe that smugness off his face.

“So go on. What is the price for this coffee that I have to pay? Are we breaking into a bank? Or perhaps organizing a hit?” Aaron said as he continued to sip his coffee.

“Don’t be so dramatic, you dolt! It’s nothing illegal. And certainly nothing that would get us in trouble. So you know that Chrissie has a sister, right?”

Aaron nodded. He knew that when they discovered that Chrissie was not Lawrence’s biological daughter, Lawrence had done anything to keep that information away from his daughters, especially Rebecca, as he was certain that would cause a rift between his daughters.

“Yeah. So?” Said Aaron.

“Well, what you don’t know is that before I got engaged to Chrissie, Rebecca and I used to fool around. It got more serious with Chrissie so I ended it with Rebecca. She didn’t have access to Lawrence as Chrissie did. She stayed away after that until she heard me and Chrissie are done. Now she is coming back. And the thing is that she never really got over me.” Robert said as if he was proud of the fact that someone had difficulty getting over him. Aaron could sympathize.

“So what? You want to blackmail Lawrence some more now? Give me money or I’ll tell your daughter sort of thing?” Aaron said grumpily. He knew Robert had flaws. He would even concede that Robert wasn’t going to win the best person award, but sometimes he wished he had a little bit if decency and not think of money and power all the time. It made Aaron more conflicted inside. He was best fiends (and maybe, sort of, kind of, a little bit, in love) with someone who didn’t bat an eye at blackmailing and emotional manipulation. Well, C’est la vie.

“No you idiot. I’m done with them. It’s actually the opposite of that. See Rebecca texted me a few days ago to let me know she was coming and I quote “so we could finally be together properly” and I don’t want that life anymore. So what I need is something else.” Robert said. Strange thing was he kept his eyes down. It was the first time that Aaron had seen him like this. It was as if like he was almost shy about what he was about to ask.

“Spit it out then!” Aaron said impatiently.

Robert took a deep breath and blurted “willyoubemyfakeboyfrienduntilshegoesaway?”

“You what?”

“Will you be my fake boyfriend until she goes away?” Robert repeated slower this time.

Aaron was gobsmacked. On one hand that was the most outrageous request he had ever heard and he just wanted to laugh out loud. On the other hand, this was the plot of one of his many fantasies which normally ended with him under Robert. He didn’t know to laugh or to cry. His lack of response must have alerted Robert.

“Look you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. It was just an idea. If she thinks that she has a chance with me, she will make my life hell until I give in and play her game which is basically torturing her sister and I don’t want to be dragged into another sibling drama.” Robert said.

Aaron composed himself enough to ask “but you are okay with everyone assuming you are gay?”

“Well, bisexual actually. And this way I can finally come out to my family as well. Killing two birds with one stone and all.”

“I’m sorry; did you just come out to me?” Aaron asked. He was completely confused. Did that mean he had a chance with Robert? Did it mean that Robert was available to him? But wait a minute, if he was, then did it mean that Robert didn’t like Aaron that way as he hadn’t come on to him. Robert wasn’t shy. If he liked someone he would just tell them. So that meant that he didn’t fancy Aaron. Universe had a cruel sense of humor when it came to Aaron.

“To be honest I thought you knew. Well at least we know you have a rubbish gaydar!” Robert had the audacity to say!

“So what? You thought a little romance with the local gay will get the woman to back off? And why does it have to be me? I mean Finn would be a more believable option for you. I mean he is prettier and he hangs on every word you say. So why not ask him?”

“Well Finn isn’t really my type!”

“And what, I am?” Aaron was hysteric now.

“Well yeah! I mean have you seen you?? You are fit and hot and very very sexy without even realizing it! I mean every time we walk into a bar, I am surprised that men don’t just pounce on you!” Robert said with an animated voice. Aaron was speechless. Did Robert just say he was sexy?

“Look forget it. It was a stupid idea. You clearly aren’t comfortable with it. Just forget about it.” Robert said while avoiding looking at Aaron.

“So are we on tonight to watch the game? Is Adam coming as well? I can make some snacks if you wanted to come earlier” Robert changed the subject.

Aaron cleared his throat. He couldn’t believe what just had happened. Robert seemed to be embarrassed by his accidental confession and clearly didn’t want to talk about it. Aaron suddenly felt shy as well. He never was good at taking compliments. And he didn’t know if Robert was complimenting him or coming on to him. He decided to play along with Robert’s deflection.

“Yeah, yeah. Adam said he would bring the beer. I can bring some crisps if you want. Say 5 ish?”

“No need. I will be making fish and chips. Just come by 5 and we’ll be all set.”

After a few awkward moments of silence, Robert chugged down the rest of his coffee, nodded his head and left the scrapyard.

Aaron could not move. He was sure that drool was falling down his face as he was unable to close his mouth. He was having an out of body experience. There was no way that Robert bleeding Sugden was attracted to him.

But it seemed that he was. He actually came out to Aaron and admitted that he found him attractive at the same time. It was as if someone had figured out all of Aaron’s deepest desires and had made them come true. So did that mean that he wanted to be Aaron? Surely he would have said something if he did. Instead, he had changed the subject and left. Perhaps Robert wasn’t ready and Aaron could respect that. He would follow Robert’s lead and act as if nothing had happened.

He would definitely do that as soon has his heart stopped hammering in his chest! He needed some time to calm down first!

Tonight was a game night. It had become a semi-usual event that Aaron and Adam would go to Robert’s place a couple of times a week for watching football and playing games or watching films on Robert’s giant TV. If Andy and Robert were on speaking terms that week, he would sometimes join them.

For some reason, Aaron put extra effort into getting ready. He then felt foolish for taking extra time because it was just their usual football night. Nothing more.

He finally decided on his usual black jeans and black hoody. But in the off chance that the universe wasn’t fucking with him, he put on his green sweater under the hoody. He felt ridiculous. There was no way that Robert wanted him.

A few hours later, he was completely convinced Robert wanted him.

It all started as soon as he got there with Adam. From the first moment, there was a charged feeling between them. It got so bad that even clueless Adam knew was something out of ordinary. Aaron was extra aware of Robert and he was trying so hard to not to be obvious that it was painful. During the game, Adam kept looking between them suspiciously. When Robert went to the kitchen to grab more beers, Adam finally snapped.

“Hey, what’s the matter with you two? Have you had fight or something?”

“What? No! Of course not!”

“Then what’s with the weird looks?”

“There are no weird looks! Shut up Adam!”

But when Robert came back Aaron turned red and turned away to look at the telly.

After the game, Adam was tired of both of them acting so strange, when Robert had gone to the loo, he ditched Aaron.

Robert came down the stairs a few minutes later. He froze on the doorway when he realized it was just him and Aaron.

“Where’s Adam?” he asked.

“Oh he just left.” Aaron was trying to sound casual.

Robert nodded his head and came to sit on the other side of the couch that Aaron was sitting.

“Another beer?” he offered.

“Nah you’re alright. I have to work early tomorrow and I don’t wanna be hungover.”

“So… fancy a movie? Or we could play some Fifa if you wanted?”

“What I want is you.” Aaron heard himself say. Fuuuuuuuuuck. Did he just say that out loud?! Judging by the way that Robert’s eyes widened and his face went red, it was safe to assume that yes, Aaron had said that out loud.

“I mean …. Not that… I mean I want to …. Look, just uhm…. Could you forget I said that?” Aaron spluttered. He was an idiot.

“uhm… how… why… really?” Robert said in reply. He didn’t seem repulsed by the idea. Aaron decided to take a chance. He had already ruined everything. What was a little love confession between friends?

“Yeah. I mean I do fancy ya. I mean more than fancy… like sort of kinda inloveish … yeah?” Aaron was hoping for a lighting strike or a giant hole in ground to swallow him so he could escape this utter humiliation.

Robert was silent for several excruciating moments. Enough to trigger Aaron’s fight and flight response. And since this was Robert, Aaron chose flight.

“So I guess I will be going. No need to you know say anything. And I guess I will see you around. Or not if you know, you don’t. So uhm. Yeah. Sorry. And thanks for you know. Yeah. Sorry.” Aaron said as he was pulling on his hoody and retreating to the front door. As he was about to open the door a pair of strong arms caught his arm and shoulder and turned him around.

Before he could say anything, Robert pressed him against the wall by the end of the stairs. His face was inches away from Aaron’s and he was directly looking at his eyes. Aaron held his breath. This was the look that had made him fall in love with him in the first place. The green eyes with such intensity, directing all of his attention towards Aaron. The heavy breathing and his parted lips was setting Aaron’s body on fire.

Robert finally broke the spell and looked at Aaron’s mouth.

“How do you know that you love me?”

It took all of Aaron’s strength to form a response.

“Because you are all I think about and every time I see you, it feels as if my heart wants to jump out of my chest.” Aaron said, without skipping a beat, looking directly at Robert’s eyes. The time for shyness and hiding was over. He had laid his heart to Robert. It was up to him to either take it or break it.

Robert was blushing which made his freckles more noticeable Aaron wanted to kiss all of them.

Robert took a step back. His face was unreadable. He had finally made a decision. He reached out with his hands and took Aaron’s hands in his. He brought one to his lips and kissed the back of his hand. He then looked at Aaron and smiled.

“You know?”

“I know.”

There was no more words needed. Robert didn’t let go of his hands as he took him upstairs. Aaron didn’t think he would ever stop smiling.

Later as Robert’s head was cradled between Aaron’s neck and shoulder and they were catching their breath, Aaron remembered something from earlier.

“So does that mean when you tell the Whites that you have a boyfriend, then it won’t be a scam anymore?” Aaron said as he was playing with Robert’s fingers.

“Is that your way of asking if I want to call us boyfriends?” Robert said while smiling into Aaron’s shoulder.

“Maybe”

“Hmmm, well I have a small confession to make. When Rebecca called before, I already told her I wasn’t interested and I was seeing someone else.” Robert said.

“Hang on a minute, so this morning, what was that? You trying to get in my pants by using a scam as an excuse?”

Robert lifted his head and looked at Aaron apologetically.

“Well, I wanted to ask you out but I didn’t know how to do it. I’m sorry.” He seemed genuinely upset.

Aaron looked at him with a frown for a second before deciding to put him out of his misery. He then cracked a mischievous smile which prompted Robert to bite his chin.

“Ow! Stop it you muppet!” Aaron pretended he was hurt. Robert bent his head and kissed him where he had bitten him. He then turned to Aaron’s lips and they were both busy to think about anything else for a while.

“So what’s the latest scheme then, if not blackmailing the Whites?” Aaron said the next morning as he was drinking the coffee that Robert had just made. Robert turned around from the stove as he was making their breakfast. He was only in a t-shirt and underwear. He looked good enough to eat!

“Well, to be honest I am sort of bored with the Whites. But the other day I heard something particularly interesting that I think it would be an amazing thing to do with my brand new boyfriend.” He responded with a glint in his eyes. Aaron knew instantly that this was going to be one of those schemes that would either get them arrested or in feud with the locals. God he loved this man!

“Alright, let’s hear what am I going to go to prison for this time.” He already knew he would do it no matter what.

“Hey I resent the implication that I would risk my boyfriend getting caught.” Robert protested.

“Soft lad. Go on, let’s hear it.”

“How do you feel about puppies? Specifically how do you feel about messing with a couple of puppy breeders and potentially having to take over a breeding operation?”

Yup, he was in trouble alright.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Childhood

Did you spend your childhood time with mostly real or imaginary friends?: I spent most of my childhood with my cousins. Or with my Barbies, since I’d play for hours. Did people consider you an odd child?: I wouldn’t say odd, no. I was just a quiet, shy kid. Do you have memories that go back to when you were only a few months old?: Wow, no. It’s crazy to me how some people believe they remember being born. I’m like what? Do you remember any thoughts you had when you where very young?: No, not really. I have some memories from my childhood.

Were they intricate or simple thoughts?: Probably simple. I just wanted to play Barbies and watch cartoons.

If you answered “intricate”, give an example of one of those thoughts: Were you dreams very vivid as a child?: I have no idea. Kids are pretty imaginative, so possibly. What is the strangest memory you have from early childhood?: I can’t think of anything strange. Were you a child prodigy or did you display any gifts at a young age?: No. I mean I was able to read when I was 3, and reading and spelling has always been my thing, but I am no child prodigy. What was the most “grown-up” thing you ever said as a child?: I have no idea. What were your favourite TV shows in early childhood?: When I was really little I was obsessed with Barney. I also enjoyed Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. Were you afraid of monsters?: I don’t think so, actually. Like I don’t remember being afraid of monsters under my bed or something. Did you believe that fictional characters were real?: No, I don’t believe so. Maybe I never really thought about it like that. Were you more quiet and artistic or loud and physical? I was definitely quiet, but not artistic. Issues and stuff Do you eat meat?: Yes, but I’m not like a big meat eater. I’m also very picky about it. If you do, what is your justification for it?: I don’t need to justify it. If you could legalize 3 things in the US, what would they be?: I’d say marijuana, but we’re already on the way with that. Do you believe in the death penalty?: I’m on the fence. Did Mumia do it?: Did who do what? If you had a choice, which country would you have chosen to be born into?: I’m very thankful to have been born in Sweden, obviously. <<< How cool! I want to visit Sweden someday. As for me, I’m an American and I am happy with that. What are your opinions of Michael Moore?: Eh. Describe your feelings about marijuana legalization: I think it should be. Red, White and Blue is a ghastly color combination, right?: No. What television news coverage do you detest the most?: I don’t watch a lot of news. I prefer to read the news online. What will you do if Bush is re-elected? Well, that can’t happen since he already served two terms. Wow, this is old. Which state do you think will drop off into the ocean first?: *shrug* Who do you consider “American Heros”? There’s so many, for various reasons for their contributions. Completely Obtuse And Silly Questions Have you ever taken something apart just to see how it worked? I wouldn’t be able to put it back together, ha. Do you ever yell at the television while you are alone? Reason?: Not yell, but I comment aloud on stuff I watch sometimes. Name a few things (if any) that you bought on Ebay recently: Not me, personally, but my mom asked me to order a few things for her that she wanted to get my brother for Christmas. Are the Muppetes sinister? Think about it.: I never thought of it that way. Do you watch the Science Channel (Discovery) on a regular basis?: No, I never do. Ever gotten into an “in person” argument with a total stranger? Discuss: No. Sugar or Honey?: Sugar. What’s on your desk right now?: I don’t have a desk. How many e-mails do you recieve a day?: Maybe like 10 or 15. I keep up with them and clean our mailbox regularly, so it’s never too bad. Do you think that time travel is a possibility?: No, but how cool would that be. Are you slightly addicted to online tests and surveys?: Now what would give you that idea? San Francisco or New York City?: I’ve been to San Francisco several times and love it, but I’d love to visit New York City. What are your favorite color combinations?: I love pastel combos. Close your eyes and type the first random image that pops into your head: Giraffes. Do you enjoy night or day better?: Blah. Favorite animal: Dogs and giraffes. Have you ever been to a protest?: Nope. Aggravated a cop on purpose?: No. Ever gone train hopping/ridden the rails?: No. If you could choose a time period in which to live, which would it be?: I’m fine with this one, but I’d love to be able to travel back to other periods. Ever put your hand through a window?: Yeah? List a few words you hate the sound of: The P word and the C word. I absolutely despise them. You won’t hear me say either one of them. And a few you like the sound of: Hmm. I don’t know. Are you sick of this survey yet? It’s fine. Emotions And Such Have you attempted suicide more than once?: No. Cutting?: Yes. Do you get violent when you are angry?: No. Which emotion are you most consumed by?: Sadness. Are you highly emotive?: Yeah. Do you discuss problems or keep them to yourself?: I tend to keep to myself a lot, or down play things if I do decide to talk about it. Except for on here. Do you fall in love easily?: I fall easily. What age/year was the most difficult for you?: I feel like I’ve been going through it the past few years, and I thought things were hard before. It doesn’t compare to now. How do you channel your anger/sadness?: I cry. Ever been addicted to alcohol or drugs?: No. Ever been homeless?: No. List a few simple things that make you happy: Coffee. When were you most recently your happiest?: Uhhhh. Do you consider yourself empathetic?: Yes. Friends Describe your best friend as if you were describing a character from a film: My best friend is my mom and she’s just awesome. Do you have friends that are drastically different from each other?: Yeah. List a few key traits that all of your friends have in common: They’re smart and driven, unlike me. Do you keep in touch with friends from high school?: I have a few on Facebook. Have you lost touch with many of your friends?: Yes. Are they mostly local or long distance?: Local. When you go out with friends, what kinds of things do you do?: I haven’t been out with friends in so long, but usually it’s out to eat or grab some coffee. Have you ever been betrayed by a close friend?: Yes. If yes, are you still friends with that person?: No. Are your friends mostly your age, younger or older?: My age and a year younger. Do you have a hard time making friends because most people bore you?: Ha, I’m the boring one. Do you like to hang out with friends one-on-one or in groups?: Groups. Small groups. Which of you online friends do you have the most in common with?: I don’t have any online friends. Family Are you close to your family?: Yes. What traits are you glad you inherited from them?: My mom’s sense of humor and love of reading. I wish I inherited her work ethic, her determination, her ambition, her drive, her ability to keep going when the going gets tough and push through...  What sitcom does your family most remind you of?: None. Does your family live locally or far away?: Most live locally. Have you ever stopped speaking to someone in your family?: No. We don’t see some family members much, but not because we stopped talking to them. It just happens cause life. Have either of your parents died?: No. Is your family very much like you or are you opposites?: A bit of both. How many siblings do you have?: Two. Has your family ever thrown food at each other?: No. Are the holidays a nightmare or a time of joy?: I love the holidays. Do you look like your parents?: I’ve been told I look like my mom. List one interesting fact about your family: Hmm. I don’t know. Lovers Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual or no idea?: Straight. Married/partnered?: Single. Ever gone out with someone you were embarrassed to be seen with?: Wow, no. That would be mean. Ever broken someones heart?: Yes. Not like to be spiteful, it just didn’t work out. I felt awful. How many serious relationships have you had?: None. Have you ever lusted obsessively over someone you knew you couldn’t have?: I wouldn’t say that, but I had really serious feelings for someone who I wanted to be with, and thought they wanted to be with me, too, but I was wrong. Do you believe in the theory of soulmates?: I don’t know. Ever cheated?: No. Been cheated on?: No. Thrown someones stuff out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: Nope. Had your stuff thrown out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: No. Most important emotional qualities of a lover?: I would like a caring, kind, patient, understanding, genuine person. Most important physical qualities?: That’s less important. Food & Drink Non-alcoholic beverage of choice: Coffee and Coke. Alcoholic beverage of choice: None. Foods you crave on a regular basis: Chicken tenders.

Salsa and Chips or Pita and Hummus?: Salsa and chips. I think hummus is disgusting. Meat or Tofu?: Meat. Never had tofu, but it doesn’t look or sound appealing to me. Soup or Salad?: Salad. Soda or Juice?: Soda. Can I get you anything else?: You didn’t get me anything. Favorite candy:: Reese’s and white chocolate. Mmm, white chocolate Reese’s. ha. Favorite food to make: Top Ramen?

Food brand that you hate?: Uhh I don’t know. Do you try to buy all organic?: No. Favorite quick food?: Chicken tenders. Final Questions Ever had a great song ruined for you after it was used in a commercial?: No. Ever yelled at an SUV?: No? A Hummer?: Nope? Ever faked being sick to get out of going somewhere?: Yes. I rarely had to because I usually really do feel crappy. If you could turn back time and change one thing, what would it be?: Oh so many things. Bambi or Nemo?: Nemo. List 3 things that are worrying you right now: Health, health, and health. It’s too fucking long, right?: It’s fine. Well, I’m just trying to help you pass the time.: Thanks. Do you think you’ll ever have children if you don’t already?: I honestly can’t see that happening. Do you think there is life on other planets?: I don’t knowww. Have you ever broken a leg or arm?: My leg. Would you rather stay in the house or do things outside: I’m a homebody, but I do venture out now and then ha. David Letterman or Jay Leno?: I liked Jay Leno when he was on. Last words?: Bye.

[gracelessknights]

NONE OF THESE QUOTES ARE RELATED

“Oh, Garrett, let’s not talk about the time we ‘got to know’ one another. I know forty-five seconds was probably an all-time high for you, but trust me; most girls would prefer at least a minute,”

“I’m gonna be sick,” I say. “I’m ordering you not to,” says Obi. “Ah, don’t say that,” says Dee-Dum. “She’s a born rebel. She’ll puke just to make a point.”

“Maybe he just has a type,” I challenge. “The only type Carrick has is pretty with a vagina that’s open for business.”

The promise of a cheap beer and a joint win out over chivalry.

“When I was in town earlier, I went to that store that sells English food, and you’ll never guess what they had.” Her face is all lit up. “Alcohol?” That’s just my wishful thinking that she bought me some.

Lisa trails after me, oblivious to my sarcasm and still gushing about Graham. “He’s so gorgeous. Like unbelievably gorgeous.” Her voice lowers to a whisper. “And I hear he’s amazing in bed.” I snort. “He probably started that rumor himself.”

“We don’t need alcohol to have fun, Reagan.” “You sound like an after-school special.”

“You look damn good in a Sentinel uniform.” A hot flush that had nothing to do with embarrassment spread over me. “So do you.” “I know.” I laughed outright. “Wow. Healthy ego there.”

“Stop being a bitch,” Magda spoke up, contributing her first words for the day. “What? You got a patent on it or something?” Zoe returned

Him: How bout tmrw night? I’m free at eight. Me: Can’t. I have the Spanish Flu. Highly contagious. I just saved your life, dude. Him: Aw, I appreciate the concern. But I’m immune to pandemics that wiped out 40-mil ppl from 1918 to 1919. Me: How is it u know so much about pandemics? Him: I’m a history major, baby. I know tons of useless facts.

Shaking my head, I laugh. “God, you’re so—” “Good-looking? Hot?“ “I was going to say cocky.” “Endearing, isn’t it?”

“Just out of curiosity,” she says, “after you wake up in the morning, do you admire yourself in the mirror for one hour or two?” “Two,” I reply cheerfully. “Do you high five yourself?” “Of course not.” I smirk. “I kiss each of my biceps and then point to the ceiling and thank the big man upstairs for creating such a perfect male specimen.”

So he’s a mutt,” he said. “No,” I said, looking at the shaggy bundle still baring his teeth in Jude’s direction. “He’s well-rounded,” I added.

I fingered the lid of my coffee cup. “He introduced me to that Blaze reastaurant on Thayer. It was really good.” “I think it was the company more than anything,” Jared said, his eyes softening.

I explained his mistake and started writing it down in my own girlie script. “Do you see how I got there?” Ryan nodded, unsure. “I see how you got there, getting there on my own is the persistent problem.”

“You’re not old enough to drink,” he grimaced, ignoring my accusation. I leaned closer to him. “We don’t tell the bartender that,” I whispered.

I just have a bad habit of lashing out at those I care about. It’s a piss-poor excuse, I know, but I am sorry,”

“You can’t make her drink that many shots,” Shepley said. “Travis. Tell him.” Brazil held up his hand. “I’m not making her do anything. For every shot she drinks, she gets a twenty. It’s our present to her.” His smile faded when he noticed Shepley’s frown. “Your present is alcohol poisoning?”

“I drink,” he said. “I also smoke. But that’s one thing they won’t let me do in here.” “Disgusting. I’m even less attracted to you than before.” “What are you smiling about?” “You just said you were attracted to me.” His self-satisfied smile was contagious. “Yeah, but that was before you spoke.”

“Intimate relations. Intercourse. Coitus. Doing the deed. Nookie. Fornicating. Laying pipe. Screwing. Sex. Tapping that ass. Fucking. Need I go on?”

“I don’t like country music.” “No one does. Just roll with it.”

Football is a religion around here, and he is the chosen messiah. Which sounds kind of sacrilegious considering the fact that he’s smacking a brunette on her ass as he leaves her at the classroom door.

"Nicknames are important. Feel free to pick one out for me. I can provide a list of suggestions. Big Guy. God. Master. Awesome Master.” “How about overweening ego?” I offer.

So if I did what my dad always wanted, I’d be married, with two kids, no education, wondering which strand of pearls I should choke myself with before my husband comes home smelling like his secretary.

I feigned disinterest, kicked out my legs and got more comfortable on Dad’s recliner. “Her name’s Lois, not Laney.” Mom smiled. “Well, I think I’m going to call her Laney. I like it better. It suits her.” I scoffed. “You can’t just go changing people’s names, Ma.” “Why not, Bobby Jo?” she sang. “Who the hell is Bobby Jo?” She laughed under her breath. “You are now.” I laughed with her. “I think I prefer Lucas.” “You still didn’t answer my question, Bobby Jo.”

"Garray already got to you, huh?” “I think he must be an acquired taste,” I mumbled.

She sighs. Then a slight smile breaks through. “I’m going to miss seeing your ugly face every day.” “Shut up. You love my face.” Her eyes roll. “Yeah, it’s like looking into the sun.” “So beautiful it hurts?” I ask, unable to contain my smirk. “Blindingly painful.”

“Next question?” “Why are you such an ass?” I laughed under my breath. “Everyone has to excel at something, right?” “Well, you’re doing a great job.”

Johnson pulls out some bills. “My treat this time, yeah?” “Excuse me while I take in this moment,” Rolondo says expansively, his arms open wide. “Johnson—punk ass, cheap motherfucker Johnson—is paying.”

Gray and Ivy’s wedding. Now that was a drunken blur. Good times.

“I was thinking—” “Uh-oh. This can’t be good.” “Smartass.” She grinned.

“Your team definitely has… potential.” “I don’t know if potential is the right word,” I tell her.

“Okay, but you’re going to have to snap the ball to me.” “Snap the ball?” I make a face. “Like bend over…” His grin is evil. “And I put my hands between your legs. Don’t give me that look. Dex does this for me every game.” “Is this the point where I launch into a diatribe about the blatant homoeroticism found in football?”

“Where have you been?” she asked. I arched a brow, fighting a laugh as the heat raced across her cheeks and down her throat. “Well hello, honey, I’ve been out boozing and whoring. I know my priorities are pretty off.”

“Sara, you know you’re the only girl for me.” He laid a hand over his heart. “I’m just passing time until you realize that.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw two girls at a nearby table watching his display with equal expressions of jealousy and dismay. “Yeah ok. Cool it Romeo,” I said, laughing. “Before you break every heart in here and start a lynch mob after me.”

“You’re such a dick sometimes.” I didn’t lift my head. “Don’t really think that’s breaking news.”

And I like sex. Love good sex, elusive as it is.

“Sex shouldn’t be work,” he insists. “It should be easy. Girls come to us, give us a good time, and we send them on their way with a nice thank you and maybe a pat on the ass if they’re extra special.” “I pity your bed partners.” “They have a good time,” Gray says. “A great time.” “Sure. You let them do all the work while you lay back like a lazy shit. Sounds awesome for them.” He gives me a sour look. “Well, you sound like a girl.” “If I was one, I wouldn’t be f**king you.”

“But Henry really wanted me to go, and you’ve been moping around the house lately.” “I have not been moping!” “Staring out the window,” she insists. “Like some tragic Jane Austen heroine.” “Austen’s heroines aren’t tragic. They are empowered.” “Says you. All those repressed feelings and prideful denials.” Her snub nose wrinkles. “Pathetic. Just own your emotions already.”

“Hey.” His smile grows. “I’ve been thinking about you, Jones.” “Don’t strain yourself.”

I kissed her cheek and stood. “Besides, you’re the best mom I’ve ever had.” “I bet you say that to all your moms.”

(In reference to the baby he’s carrying) He raised his cynical eyes to her and grunted. "If he gives any indication that he’s going to shit or vomit, I’m pointing him in your direction.” “And they say chivalry’s dead.”

“What happened?” asked Hermione, her tone inevitably concerned. “I barely touched you.” “Shoulder…dislocated,” he rasped out. “You let me slap you when you’re injured?” “I didn’t let you slap me,” he replied drolly. “Evidently, it’s just a habit you have regardless of whether we’re in a relationship or not. Charming, by the way.” “How did you dislocate your shoulder?” “Folk dancing.” “Draco.” “Fighting bloody Death Eaters. Obviously.”

Today I wore a pair of white jeans and a black sweater that made me feel as if I was seconds away from stripping off my clothes and finding the nearest pole. I glanced over my shoulder and Roth raised a brow as one side of his lips slipped up. “Can you walk in front of me?”

He chuckled deeply. “Not in this lifetime.”

On why he doesnt wanna be a gynaecologist  : “But if I’m going to have my hand inside a woman’s honeypot, I’d much rather it be for pleasure than for work.”

The music is soft in the background, but soulful and deep. I like it. “What’s this? A study playlist?” He shakes his head. “A playlist? Nah. It’s the Black Keys. I buy whole albums, not individual songs. I’m not afraid of commitment, babe.” I smirk at his strange innuendo. “Good to know.”

“What will they do once I take you off the market?” I ask. “I can only imagine the poor girls wandering around like a lost herd of sheep all summer, wondering where you went.” I risk another glance at the staring girls and shudder. “Do they even blink? Baa. Baa. Baa.”

“How long do I have to keep up the happy part? I’m getting a cramp.” “That’s the spirit.” He chuckles,

Matt helped her with her golf swing in the auditorium at lunch. Matt was the captain of the golf team, and Ariadne was thinking about joining, although first she had to learn how to play. “Cassie, why don’t you put that book down and come learn how to golf?” Ariadne called to her cousin. In response, Cassandra opened another book.

"Sound jealous, don’t you?” “Not likely,” I replied, turning my e-reader back on. “Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. One of these days you’re going to admit that you’re madly, deeply in love with me. It’s my boyish charm—hard to resist.” “If you’d gone with your body being irresistible, it would’ve been more believable.”

"You’re going to do fine,” he says, rubbing my arms. “Do not give me a half-time inspirational speech,” I order. The last thing I need is some rah-rah-rah about being my best.” “Sure. We can go to the bathroom and fuck away your nervousness.”

“In my head, this went a lot smoother,” I offer. “How so?” “Um, I guess I throw up my arms and say ‘surprise,’ and you say, ‘Goldie, you’re a sight for sore eyes,’ and then I respond with, ‘you, too.’ After we get those awkward, trite greetings out of the way, you haul me into your arms and give me a movie star kiss. We pretend it’s raining and that we’re at the end of a Nicholas Sparks movie and you swear your undying devotion.” “According to my mom, everyone dies at the end of a Sparks movie, so my devotion appears to be short-lived.” “True, but the promised love is undying, so even after your ticker gives out, the devotion lives on.”

“What rhymes with insensitive?” I tap my pen on the kitchen table, beyond frustrated with my current task. Who knew rhyming was so fucking difficult? Garrett, who’s dicing onions at the counter, glances over. “Sensitive,” he says helpfully. “Yes, G, I’ll be sure to rhyme insensitive with sensitive. Gold star for you.”

On the other side of the kitchen, Tucker finishes loading the dishwasher and turns to frown at me. “What the hell are you doing over there, anyway? You’ve been scribbling on that notepad for the past hour.” “I’m writing a love poem,” I answer without thinking. Then I slam my lips together, realizing what I’ve done. “I just have one question,” Garrett starts. “Really?” Tuck says. “Because I have many.” […] “Hey,” I say as inspiration strikes. “What if I steal the words to “Amazing Grace”? I can change it to…um…Terrific Grace.” “Yup,” Garrett cracks. “Pure gold right there. Terrific Grace.” I ponder the next line. “How sweet…” “Your ass,” Tucker supplies. Garrett snorts. “Brilliant minds at work. Terrific Grace, how sweet your ass.” He types on his phone again. “Jesus Christ, will you quit dictating this conversation to Hannah?” I grumble. “Bros before hos, dude.” “Call my girlfriend a ho one more time and you won’t have a bro.” […] (He texted her the love poem) Her: Don’t quit your day job, Emily Dickinson. Me: Hey, u didn’t say it had to be GOOD. Her: Touché. D- on the poem. Can’t wait to see your collage. Me: How do u feel about glitter? And dick pics? Her: If there’s a pic of your dick on that collage, I’m photocopying it and passing it around in the student center. Me: Bad idea. You’ll give all the other dudes an inferiority complex. Her: Or an ego boost.

All in all, Ellis seems like a decent man, and when the kids thunder out of the locker room and greet him like he’s Jesus Christ brought back to life, my opinion of him climbs higher.

“My mom has officially dubbed you a ‘good catch.’” Dani takes a seat next to me on the back steps of the small two-story house where I’ve lived all my life. I tap my glass of sangria against hers. “That’s solid. I’m going to put that on my Tinder profile.”

“Jesus, she’s hot!” Dani grabs my phone to pinch and zoom, first on Sabrina’s face and then the rest of her body. “Are you sure she’s not bi? Because it’s a crime that she has to suffer through life with a man.”

“I thought maybe you’d want to spend the weekend with me.” And he’s quick to offer that reassurance again, adding, “No expectations, by the way. I’m not inviting you to, like, a three-day fuck fest or anything.” I snort. My boyfriend, ever the wordsmith.

Hunter snaps, “It’s that we suck.” Hollis tips his head. “You got laid last night, didn’t ya?” The dark-haired freshman furrows his brow. “What does that have to do with anything?” “Everything. We embarrassed ourselves in that game, got our asses kicked, and you still had chicks lining up to suck on your knob. Doesn’t matter if we win or lose—we’re still hockey players. We rule this school, dude.” “Spoken like a man without ambition,” Garrett says, his lips twitching.

"Uh-huh,” Logan says as if he’s in agreement, but I’ve known him long enough to be able to pick up on his sarcasm. “Anyway, this girl…she’s the love of my life. She’s smart and funny and unbelievably compassionate. She forgives people even when they don’t deserve it. She—” “Good lay?” Pace interrupts. “Oh yeah. The best.”

"Was the sex really boring?” “Why is everything with you always about sex?” I pass the joint back. “And FYI—the sex was fine.” “Fine?” He snickers. “Wow, what a ringing endorsement.”

(Garrett when texting his ‘manwhore’ friend) Garrett: Allie’s gonna crash in my room. Garrett: Your dick can stay in your room.

"Did you have a girlfriend in high school?” I ask. He waggles his eyebrows. “I had many.” “Oooh, what a stud.”

He sighed. “Fine. I spoke with Hestia about your history lessons, arranged for you to begin self-defense lessons with Charon—” “What?” Charon piped up from his end of the table. “When did that happen?” “Just now,” Hades said around a bite of chicken. “I’m multitasking.”

“You know, I don’t actually have sex with every woman I talk to, Chess.” “You don’t?” “So dubious.” He nudges me with his shoulder. “I do have some standards.” “And they are?” He gives me a cheeky look. “Whether or not I want to have sex with them.” “Your vetting processes is foolproof, I’ll give you that.”

She exhales heavily. “I’m babbling.” “I’m used to it,” I say, shrugging. “A lot of women lose their shit around me.” Cassie rolls her eyes. “They probably lose their lunches too.”

I interrupt her, clearing my throat loudly. “No names,” I say, looking around. “A code name, then,” she suggests. “I want to know if Horse –“ I roll my eyes. “Do I need to ask why you picked that as a code name?” “I was trying not to be subtle.“ She runs her finger along the rim of her margarita glass and licks salt off her fingertip. “Because he’s hung like a horse, obviously.” “Yes. I got the joke.” “Yeah, you should have, especially given the fact that you’ve seen all of the goods.” “I’m not referring to him as Horse,” I protest. “Donkey would be more appropriate, since he’s a jackass.” “Oh, that fits, too,” she says, laughing. “Donkeys have huge dicks.” “Conversation with you is always so classy, Sable. It’s really a testament to how you were raised. Those classes in etiquette must have taught you a lot.”

“You brought flowers,” I note flatly. Flowers from a football player? What kind of warped parallel universe did I just enter? He shrugs. “Chicks like flowers, don’t they?” “Your charm is overwhelming, only surpassed by your sexism.”

“If you want, I can take these pants off and remind you what you were looking at.” “Thanks, but I had a late lunch. I’m hoping not to vomit it up today.”

-Just a compilation of (I think) really great one-liners from books/fanfictions I’ve read