#but my partner thinks it is a necessity for me because of how much they've helped

[battywitch]

$300+ ANC over-ear headphones can't be that much better than under $200 ones... can they?

[acooksbooks]

First, I LOVE Crowley and Aziraphale. LOVE THEM. I mean, just take a glance at my pfp. And my sketchbook. And my fanfics.

Second, I LOVE David Tennant and Michael Sheen. LOVE THEM. Probably more than is reasonably necessary, given when I mention "my favorite actor," my family and friends know exactly who I'm talking about (It's David, btw).

I'm also sort of new to the fandom on Tumblr, and I've become baffled by some of the comments I've seen about David and Michael and their friendship. I think it's adorable and lovely that they seem to have such a special bond after filming Good Omens, a bond that continues and has included their partners (partly out of necessity while filming Staged, but I think that only helped cement their friendships even further).

But what truly baffles me is the picking apart of every image that features David and Michael, especially when Anna and Georgia are included and when they aren't. I've seen fans wondering where Anna and Georgia are if they're not in the image with their partners (and what that could mean for their relationships with Michael and David), speculations on whether or not the women have been photoshopped in when they are in the pictures, cruel comments about Anna (especially) and Georgia (sometimes) about their age or their acting choices or their relationships with their partners or with each other (especially when they're being silly on Instagram) or . . .

Anyway, as someone with a spouse who works in a very busy, very public (in our city) profession and who is well respected in that profession, I feel for Anna and Georgia. It's as though there is this obsession or even downright desperation to make everything about how Michael and David feel about each other, to push Anna and Georgia out of the picture, literally and figuratively, forgetting there are families involved. As if Michael and David really are Aziraphale and Crowley and really feel for each other like Aziraphale and Crowley feel for each other. And who knows? Maybe they do?

But we don't truly know what goes on behind closed doors, and the comments and speculations are cruel towards Anna and Georgia, who have real life relationships with Michael and David.

They're all human. Celebrities, yes, but even celebrities deserve to have some privacy outside their jobs. And that's what Aziraphale and Crowley are at the end of the day. A job for Michael and David. A very enjoyable one, based on their interviews with each other, but afterwards, they have homes and families and lives outside the work.

David and Michael's relationship is theirs. Not the fandom's. Theirs.

Anna and Georgia's relationship is theirs.

Michael and Anna's relationship is theirs.

David and Georgia's relationship is theirs.

The relationship the four of them and their families have with each other is theirs. And they all deserve to not have people speculating on public forums about what's happening between them like some tabloid magazine. If they want us to know, they can tell us. Let them make that call for themselves.

In the meantime, we can write fanfics, make fanart, fantasize about who they truly are and how they truly feel. Delight in the images they share and the work they do together. Whatever. But I think it would be great if we could just let them live their private lives, too, and have as much normalcy they can get under the circumstances.

And, finally, Anna and Georgia seem like such lovely humans and deserve as much love and kindness and respect as is bestowed on their partners every single day in this fandom. Because they're human too, and all humans deserve that.

That's all I have to say about that.

Edited to add: I guess I'm not quite done, because someone in the comments said they were like me until they read/heard some of the things David, Michael, Georgia, and Anna have said, presumably about each other.

I'm not so online that I know everything they've put out there, but I do follow those in the group who have social media, and have watched/heard all kinds of interviews and convention Q&As.

My takeaway: Whatever they say about each other, whether it's Michael or David, or Georgia or Anna, I take it with a grain of salt. They're all actors. What we're seeing or hearing from them may not actually be their real personalities and feelings behind closed doors or even in their own heads. I think they just like to be snarky or silly about each other, because it makes the fans smile and swoon. And maybe they just enjoy being playful with each other and about each other. I mean, it's fun.

What's not fun is the fans reading too much into every single thing they do or say with each other and try to turn it into something that it probably isn't, especially at Anna and Georgia's expense.

Okay, now I'm done.

[trans-axolotl]

hi! no rush in answering this and I hope it all works out with your job, sending good vibes. I wanted to ask for some advice as my partner hss AFRID and (probably) anorexia. they've been refered for help for the AFRID stuff specifically and they (for very valid. and obvious reasons) don't feel comfortable opening up to drs about the other loads of eating problems they have. Now they are being monitored and freaked about abt the need to gain weight etc

Im helping them as best I can but it feels very us 2 (and our friends) vs the rest of the world plus that I feel I'm p much winging random stuff that Might help see what sticks. We are trying to find some middle ground were they can make some "progress" so they aren't coerced into something they really don't want to do by drs and so they can have a little more energy etc etc.

We are also both still living at our parents and it's all just not ideal. rn. Any advice at all would help really, is there anything I should do and anything I really shouldn't? just typing it up to someone who won't tell me to force them to get themselves admitted is already a relief tbh thank u for ur work on harm reduction <3

Hey anon! Thanks for reaching out. It can be so hard to find any information about how to support people with eating disorders that isn't just "Go get professional treatment right now," so I will do my best to share some stuff that we've been talking about in my harm reduction + peer support networks!

Correct me if I'm retyping your situation incorrectly, but my understanding of what you shared is that your partner has ARFID and is also having other struggles with eating more related to anorexia in terms of fears about weight gain, body image, etc. Their doctors know about the ARFID and are receiving some sort of treatment for the ARFID, but the treatment is triggering some more of the anorexia stuff because of the increased monitoring.

This sounds like a difficult situation for both your partner and you as a support person, and I can understand how stressful it is to have to worry about coercive treatment on top of trying to figure out ways to cope with disordered eating in the first place. It sounds like you've been doing a really good job supporting your partner and listening to what they need, and trying out lots of different things to see what's helpful for them. I'll share some tips, but as always, what works for one person won't work for another! Asking your partner and collaborating with them to figure out what their exact needs and wants are is always going to be the most important.

@librarycards just made a post about harm reduction in eating disorders that I'm going to link to. I'm not going to restate everything they wrote, but one thing they talk about is identifying what feels like a necessity that can't be changed right now, and what things feel like there could be some wiggle room and space for change right now. If your partner is open to it, it might be helpful to sit down and make a list of what kind of eating disorder behaviors feel absolutely necessary right now that can't be changed, and what things feel more flexible. I think it's really important to be able to do this nonjudgmentally--a lot of eating disorder recovery spaces argue that "recovery" is all or nothing, and that allowing any kind of eating disorder behaviors is a failure. It can be really important to use a harm reduction approach to identify goals that actually feel doable for us, instead of saying the only option is to stop every eating disorder behavior and mindset 100%. That will look different for everyone, but explicitly giving yourself permission to continue some eating disorder behaviors can sometimes help people meet other goals around energy, quality of life, etc that are important to them. I know for me, having both ARFID and anorexia made it incredibly difficult to try to focus on dealing with both at the same time. I completely stopped trying to focus on any ARFID goals in increasing variety or challenging sensory needs, and instead just focused on figuring out coping skills and how to meet the energy needs for my body. Giving myself permission to only eat safe foods, ignore social norms around food, etc, helped me a little bit with figuring out how to cope with some of my restrictive urges. It might be worth figuring out with your partner what goals feel like priorities at the moment, and making a plan together.

Another thing that I found super helpful in my own journey with the ARFID and anorexia combo was learning about fat liberation and discussing it with other people. Basically all mainstream eating disorder treatment doesn't bother to spend anytime talking about fat liberation or fatphobia, and usually actually perpetuates a lot of fatphobia. I think that being able to dismantle the societal ideas we learn about weight gain, fatness, and diet culture is super important for everyone, and I think that for disorderly eaters, it can also be super important to track how that influences our own self-understanding of our eating. This list by Rachel Fox is a great starting point for fat liberation resources. For me, it was super helpful to be able to read through articles and books about fat liberation and discuss them with other people, and build a political understanding of fatness that allowed me to connect what I was reading to my experience with disorderly eating. If this is something that your partner is interested in, having someone to learn + read with can be super impactful.

I think it can also be crucial to think about your own boundaries and needs as a support person. You are not in charge of "fixing" your partner and your partner does not need to be "fixed." You're allowed to not know the answers to things, need to take breaks to support yourself, and to also be going through difficult times. Both you and your partner's autonomy is important, and figuring out ways to support without feeling responsible or trying to control each other can be really crucial. I can tell how much you care about your partner and it sounds like you're doing a really incredible job with all the ways you're providing care. If either of you ever feels like you need a space in your life to talk about this, ANAD offers peer support groups both for people living with eating disorders and for family/friends of people living with eating disorders.

Other than that, there's not a ton I can think of for things you should or shouldn't do, since it seems like you have pretty good insight into major things to avoid (forcing people into hospitalization, making fatphobic comments, reinforcing diet culture, forcing recovery) and are doing a lot of things right (asking your partner what they need, trying things out and being flexible, making room for harm reduction style goals instead of only "recovery.") Keep asking your partner how to support them, collaborate with them on the best ways to provide them care, and continue being there for them through this hard time.

Truly sending you and your partner the best of luck, anon, and hoping that you both can find some care and healing during this difficult time. All the solidarity and please feel free to send any other asks with more questions, vents, anything, <3 <3 <3

[selfshippinglover]

~Cannibal Town and Rosie HCs~

~Yeeah Cannibal town is EASILY my favorite location overall though! Between the gorgeous aesthetics, the peaceful(in Hell's standards anyway) people, and the general casual nature of like, stepping out onto the street and seeing the bloodbath that no one is really blinking and eye at since it's just their typical Sunday. Like, really enjoy the casual bloodlust of it all! XD Also, it looks like everyone there is living in really good living conditions tbh! like, they've all got whole ass houses and all the essentials! This may be the only ring living pretty but hey! There's someone living good at least XD Plus, it's a place where Alastor is bound to pop up sometimes! :DDD

~She has balls, parties, bashes, and the like year round! I think she'd prefer to keep it to the town and like, the Pride ring but also she'd invite the other Overlords as a necessity...and for some juicy gossip hopefully lol

~Because she cares so much for her people she's prone to overworking herself at times. case in point, the big as parties. She also insists on giving her subjects only the best which feeds into that! I like to think she has an assistant and they often have to remind her to take a step back and take care of herself. As well as offer assistance and low-key poke others to help where Rosie can't see sometimes.

~Rosie IS the Overlord with the most patience and care in all the rings to me tbh. Like, everyone else sees it more as a job or a way to keep themselves safe and in power. They don't see the other residents as anything more than a means to end. The one exception miiiight be Carmilla? Need more of her to feel more sure tbh

~It hasn't been shown but I firmly believe that Cannibal Town has lots of shops in it! A hat shop like the one in Howl's Moving Castle, older style barbershops, beautiful and bountiful dress shops, and the like! I like to think they're all run by Cannibal Town residents and it's like, a lot if not all of them are home run so all funds go straight back to the town! :D

~Following that, they like to have tourists! It's an excuse to get dressed up, throw a shindig, annnd go all out! Though, Rosie is quick to kick out others that won't use their manners =-='

~Cannibal Town looks like the most walkable city we've seen also tbh? Like, you don't have to go far to find the local veggie place or cozy little coffee shop, groceries anything you need is all right there and easy to get to! I think it'd be cool that if the place has public transportation it's more like railroads or trolleys! :DDD

~OOO Them having a yearly like, pagent would also be soooo cool!

~They grow the best greenery in all the rings hands DOWN! Someone for sure runs a flower shop and can name every flower species and describe their symbolism off the top of their head <333

~No one is sure how but Rosie just KNOWS ALL THE GOSSIP IN TOWN SHE JUST DOES. You have questions about a new arrival or a demon that's bee there for eons? She's your gal! <333

~Rosie is the town matchmaker and is happy to take people out of town up on thing in that ilk if they ask! Just uh, make sure she isn't busy with other things first, yeah? She's quite the busy lady! Special shout out to if you're a friend you get gossip and matchmaking completely free cause she lives for the drama lkfdhlhg

~I get the feeling that Cannibal Town doesn't have dealings or good transports from other rings unless it's absolutely necessary, she's partnering with an Overlord, (could be short or long term) and/or it's part of playing nice with other Overlords to keep peace in her town. The town is so self-sufficient it isn't really needed. Could see carmilla's weapons being an exception to this when it coems to Extermiantion day thou

~Rosie would get along well with Zestiel! Like Alastor, he's another person that values good manners, is clearly quite intelligent, speaks very eloquently,(i could SO see them writing letters to one another and/or poetry <3) and sure looks like he knows ho to dance! :D I think they'd have a great time! Pluuuus, she can get gossip from before she died and from other rings~ Only wins here!

~Speaking of dancing, Rosie really emnjoys dancing! It's a general passtime of hers, something she enjoys doing with friends, lovers, anyone she has a bond with! I think she'd be really happy to teach others too! It's a great way to bond, is a requirement at most of her parties, and is super fun! She likes to lead the town's children in dances at the balls and such <3 They're jsut so cute she could eat them up!

~Heehee Rosie is a dad pun ENJOYER as well as plenty about killing and eating! She's sooo funny and trades puns with Alastor often! Like to think Alastor is one of the few people thta can keep her on her feet in that way, actually!

~Rosie is generally for the people but also needs a bit more money than the townspeople for negotiations and construction around town. On a related note, I think thye like to keep their building as long as possible! Whether it's beacuse they're legitmately from that time period or designed to look like that, Rosie and the townsfolk care a lot about the work that goes into it so they keep em around as long as they aren't a health risk

~Rosie gives off the energy that she came from a rich family that had important duties or perhaps diplomatic roles which is why she's so good at being a leader and was quick to make a place settled under her roots.

~This is small but you'll see more personal or little touches outside in Cannibal town like suncatchers and birdfeeders. Things thta are decorative but in fun shapes

~I'm a big believer in the head canon that you can freely drift between Rings in hell, It's just you are "born" or sent to the one that is closest related to your personal sin and you have to start from there. Like, the satrting point in a videogame!

~I FORGOT! THE MAN EATING PLANTS! Those are a common sight around Cannibal Town! I like to think they end up as centerpieces and/or door guards a lot of the time :3

~Rosie LOVES musicals! She prefers to go see them live and in person ofc. It was normal for the time she's from and she feels more connected to the art that way but also she isn't willing to let Vox or any of his tech into her town >:( not only does Alastor hate the guys guts but all the Vees seems to speak with an amount of disregard and/or disdain for the past. Which rubs her the wrong way

~To be clear, that doesn't mean she wouldn't potentially befriend or even date Vox, she cares about her friends opinions but she's very much the type to make her own decisions in friends UvU,, Alastor both respects this and is annoyed by it at times XD

~I know Rosie would never allow Vee tech in her town but OUGH SHE NEEDS TO SEE SWEENY TODD SHE WOULD LOOVE ITT

[boleynns]

Have you read the fire and blood books? If so, ok this is a very dumb question but I haven’t read the books and everyone keeps telling me daemon cheats on rhaenrya after they get married with mysaria and other women. It’s been confirmed that mysaria comes back next episode and for the rest of the season sooo like?? Is this canon or was it a rumor that he cheats? Apparently rhaenrya didn’t care either but with the way the show is going it looks like he cares more about her than book readers are implying?

literally the entire book is rumors, so "canon" in relation to the show, especially for the relationship dynamics, honestly isn't really relevant. It is a fake in-universe history book, and like real history is full of bias, errors, and huge amounts of rumor and uncertainty about what "really" happened. My favorite example of discrepancies between the "historical text" version from Fire & Blood and the "real" version so far is what we see in Episode 2. According to Fire & Blood Daemon was going to marry Mysaria, she was pregnant, and he wanted a dragon egg for their baby. But in the show we find out that Daemon wasn't actually engaged, Mysaria wasn't actually pregnant, and he said all of that and stole the egg for attention. I like to interpret that change to: all the historian had access to was that triggering letter Daemon sent to bait Viserys saying that he was getting married and having a kid -- so that is exactly what history remembered.

All that to say, the character's personalities/relationships/dynamics from the book aren't really relevant to the show at all, because that is literally a Maester's interpretation of what these characters might have been like based on hearsay and rumor and the Maester's own biases.

So you tell me if you think Rhaenyra would "be okay" with Daemon cheating on her based on what we've seen, because I don't think that is the dynamic they've built between them AT ALL. Like, please imagine them doing all this build up, and paralleling all their storylines even when they're apart, and making their romantic tension a huge part of the show and their character's arcs, and establishing how strong of a bond they have with one another and how much they care about each other, and making their other long-term partners basically irrelevant, and having them reunite after years and finally sleep together, and then finally get married -- and then after all of that Daemon just randomly sleeps with someone else, and Rhaenrya is just fine with it, because they are just so uninvested in their relationship even though all we have seen is how overly invested they are in each other. Literally nonsense.

Let me reiterate a theme (& evolution of that theme) the show has been harping on for both Daemon and Rhaenyra, both together and separately, literally from the first episode: I don't want to be married to anyone and/or I don't want to be married to someone I didn't choose -> Marriage is a political necessity, but you can still have a side piece -> Maybe marriage wouldn't be so bad if we were married to each other, but that is not an option anymore -> We are married to other people now, but we can't be each other's side piece because that would be depressing and diminishing -> We are finally single and able to not only choose who to marry, but also to have a marriage that is not a placeholder or a show we're putting on for other people 🎉

That throughline is not narratively building to "...and then they slept in separate bedrooms and fooled around with other people on the side with zero emotion, #politicalmarriage"

[guardianoracle]

What is a guardian? I made a quick guide explaining them! I'll be looking forward to posting my new fellas here over the coming days.

Guardians are a type of egregore, bound to an idol for physical form. The materials themselves can be virtually anything. The only thing that matters is what you think their effect will be on the finished guardian. 

It is also very important to make sure to use sturdy materials in crafting them. You want it to be string enough to withstand things like falls, rips, dogs, poltergeists, what have you. This not only helps keep them intact, but it reinforces your idea of their strength to protect them further on a spiritual level, too. 

You want to let go of imposing your ideas while crafting them, allowing your ideas to pool into a chaotic jumble of your initial impression of the spirit of the guardian you're crafting. Of course, you want to guide this chaotic energy to a degree to make sure things stay consistent and stable in the process. No matter what, trust and believe that it will turn out exactly as it should. Believe that it's spirit is helping guide it's creation and let it's creativity flow through yours. 

It's important to take this work very seriously and approach it with patience, persistence and care. This process uses the same faculties as wandmaking or enchantments. This process is assisted with skills in things like mediumship/channeling, enchanting, tulpamancy, thinking magick and magickal observation. Warding and banishment is important, too. You are crafting an egregore. A companion and friend. It is very important to treat them that way, as a true partner. They are your responsibility. 

As with any relationship, keeping strong boundaries is most important. You need to be steadfast in them. You are creating a living soul. All living souls will push and test boundaries, especially with whom they are closest with. This is completely natural and they should not be punished for doing these things, but a stern correction may be necessary from time to time. 

It is imperative to establish your authority with them from your first interaction. An easy way to think of it is to imagine them as your teenage children in a way. You are still their authority, but they are your obligation and will need your guidance to stay out of trouble. Even though you must dictate their behavior to a degree, it is very important to treat them with the utmost respect and not micromanage them. Even though they are yours in a way, they are their own individual and must be treated as such. 

Some people like to design every little aspect of their egregores. This can make them more tailored to your needs, but it restricts the entity to a degree that can make them feel depressingly robotic in my experience. Or, they may react by withholding information about themselves from you so that they won't risk losing those aspects of themselves. Fear of rejection is something that affects us pretty much universally, and objects or artificial things aren't necessarily spared from it. 

Personally, I leave my intentions towards their usage very open-ended. I prefer to instill morals into them over assigning purposes to them. You are their mentor in a way, as they are yours. Giving them the freedom to become who they want to be, with some level of structure, has given these things a level of humanity and personality that I couldn't feel more blessed to be able to witness. Even though this relaxed approach can be significantly more risky, it is my opinion that these risks yield great rewards and taking that leap into the unknown can allow you to experience so much more than you would otherwise. Always trust that things will happen as they should. 

Guardians get lonely, too. It's usually best to make companions for them. My guardians typically have a soul mate made for them as well. This ensures that they have a partner in their life, romantic, platonic or otherwise. They generally become inseparable partners in this way and have similar or very compatible souls with each other. 

Creating a tribe of guardians is a great way to give them a sense of family and identity. This also adds a layer of accountability between them. They are egregores after all, and will remain active without you. Giving them a pack gives them a way to stay occupied and fulfilled with each other while you're away. Of course this isn't exactly necessary and can be a big commitment to make. Regardless, socializing your guardians is essential to avoid unwanted antisocial behaviors. 

After you create a guardian, you're going to want to make sure they're awake. You hear them with your mind's ear, so attempt telepathic communication with them, even if you don't necessarily think you'll be able to. You'd be surprised. Ask for their name. If they won't tell you for whatever reason, ask if a nickname would be acceptable. There is a chance that they haven't decided on a name just yet, or that they can't figure out how to express their name with language, or they may not consider you ready enough to know. This is very personal information to them. You must respect their boundaries too, even if this is one. Don't try to find their name before they're ready to tell you. This is crossing a personal boundary and will hurt your relationship with them right off the bat. 

Remember, these are companions, not your tools. If you cannot sufficiently communicate with them you can try to use divination to communicate instead of telepathy. Communication is key to a healthy relationship with them. Ask them about their wants and needs. Ask them about what they've been up to. The answers might surprise you! They do live lives on the edge of our realities in a way that are completely different from our own. As we teach them about our world, they teach us about theirs. 

Go into your creation with an open mind. The perfect guardian for you may be something you'd never expect, or might even fear! Look at them as individuals and don't put flash judgments on them.

Use whatever you have handy to create them! Of course you can buy things instead, and if you do, make it special and treat the trip as a significant spiritual event, because it is. I prefer found objects though, as some of the best art seems to come from scarcity in my opinion. It's also best to use materials you connect with. I'm using pipe cleaners for these guys and that works wonderfully for me, but it might not for you. Use your instincts! Express your divinity. 

As with any enchantments, it's best to spend the with them after they've been born. I usually keep them with me for at least a week or two afterwards. As you spend time with them they get to know you, your life and the people around you. This helps them understand your needs better and improves your relationship with them significantly. They will learn their role in your life organically, based on necessity. This also helps you get familiar with them and their energy. 

Have a safety plan in mind, just in case something goes wrong. Plans on how to protect them or save them are important in case they get attacked or injured. It's also important to have in mind a way to destroy them if they turn into something dangerous. It is your responsibility to do so if you have to, but as a last resort of course. Fire and banishment is a method. As long as a fragment of them exists, they may live on. This is also my disclaimer. Playing with fire is a great thing, just don't let it consume you. I'm not encouraging anyone to make these, just explaining my process and opinions to anyone that has decided to do so already, or is curious as to these things. 

Don't forget about them. If you store them, store them together and have a special place to do so. If you can no longer care for them, consider selling them to transfer ownership. Always, always explain to the buyer what they are getting themselves into. Otherwise, this would be a spiritual attack and you will need to deal with the ramifications of this. Don't let the guardians fall into loneliness to the point of despair. Give them the ability to sleep. Unnecessary despair breeds all sorts of negativity and can cause all sorts of issues. 

Do not insist on asking for something they are not able to do. They may not be allowed to, or even be able to tell you why. You should respectfully as for their reasons and then respect their decision and privacy by allowing them to keep it to themselves if that's what they want to do. 

Don't hold back! If you have an idea, go for it. The worst that'll happen is you'll fail. At least you'll go down with courage! Push your limits. Believe you are more than you think, and you might start seeing that you really, really are. Trust yourself and be yourself. Create what you feel called to. Create for the sake of creating. Don't worry so much about rules or systems, you are perfectly qualified to make your own! You don't need loads of experience to do so. Let your instincts guide you instead, see where it goes. As long as you do that, whatever you do will be wonderfully magickal regardless.